Shownotes Transcript
They sound amazing.
Welcome back to the Toast and happy Tuesday. I'm honored and humbled to be sitting down with one of the nicest kids in town. That's right. It's Jackie O, my co-host, my sister, queen, but also recipient of a Nikki Blonsky cameo as of, you know, 1030 a.m. this morning. Good morning to every day's like a blur to you.
You know that it's like literally killing me inside that you're the one who got a Nikki Blonsky cameo. And like my direct correlation to Nikki Blonsky is the correlation that's going viral. Yeah. Considering like you've always had such a warm place in your heart for Nikki and Tracy. More so Tracy. And.
And is it killing you that like Bruno got a shout out from Nikki Blondesky? Like Nikki Blondesky knows brew. I don't want to be rude, but like basically, you know, Shannon Ford, you know, influencer, comedian, fellow podcaster on the Toast News Network. She listens to the Toast like a good friend should, you know.
And she thought it would be funny to get Jax a cameo from Nikki Blonsky. More than that, she stayed at my house last week and she was going to send me flowers as a thank you. And in lieu of flowers, she got me a cameo from Nikki Blonsky. So it wasn't just like, should I get Jax or Claude a cameo? I think they think it's funny. No, and of course. And I don't want to like, of course, yuck. No, but like I earned my gift.
I feel like I'm a good friend to Shannon too, you know, in other ways. Yeah. And maybe she'll get you a gift. She gave you that ring that one time. I feel like you're still dining on that. I do. I wear it all the time except my jewelry and holographic. But I was deserving of a gift for my hospitality. No, and I hate to make like your gift about me, you know, but I just wanted to say like, I reason why I got it. Of course, of course, of course, of course. I just, I am the one that would be like me getting a cameo for Meghan Markle, you know?
Yeah. No, it would actually be like me getting a cameo. This is the exact similarity of that actor who was in The Bold Type and is like in all your favorite shows that gets canceled. Richard Page. Of course you know his name.
Like that's the equivalent of like a lifelong obsession. Yeah. No, but it'd also be like you getting a cameo from like Kelly Clarkson. Like, yeah, we're both so obsessed. But if we have to go back to the Genesis, like I am more obsessed. But if you got a cameo from Kelly, like you met Kelly, like, I mean, I'm just, you know, I would just be happy for you is all.
Yeah, we're different people and that's okay. Now, I know one of your least favorite things actually is receiving cameos. You find it butt clenchingly awkward. So walk me through the experience of you receiving this cameo. So yes, I have said multiple times like receiving a cameo is a horrible experience. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Let me tell you, Nikki Blonsky has a way with cameo I didn't want to end. I was hanging on her every word. I was like, what's she going to say next? What did Shannon prompt her with next?
It was as it was. I had the experience that you should have when receiving a cameo. So maybe it was just like the people in the past that I got cameos from. They were the wrong people. And it takes a special type of person. Like, I guess I won't say like who I got it from. That just like made me. Why? I don't know. Damon John. Like, I just I didn't want a cameo from him.
Yeah. Yeah. But someone else like he might work well for someone else. It was just like it was just too much. It wasn't a match. It wasn't a match. This was really a match. And so I'm happy that the whole like cameo business operation like isn't built on but clenchingly painful videos. Well, we also it was I like that Shannon got a cameo, obviously, because it's funny and whatever. But we also get a little bit of inside scoop on this.
business right now. Like her, it's kind of everyone's dream. Your cameos blowing up. Like that's just encouraging more people like Shannon. Shannon can't be the only one who in the last week decided to book a cameo from Nikki Blonte. Shannon said she turned it around in three hours. She said,
still charging $100, which Nikki, if you are watching this, you need to up your price. I wonder what Shannon would have paid. Like what's the most she would have paid? Well, Shannon's like an extravagant person. Yeah. So she's not a good example, but like somebody who's doing this for the shtick, what's the most amount of money in this economy you would pay for like a shticky video? I feel like $250. Yeah, she could definitely double. I just want to say, I think that other people are taking note of like the virality of cameos and trying to capitalize it. And I do need to call out
Tom Sandoval for being like extremely cringe right now. He's posting all of his cameos on TikTok and they're like skits with sunglasses and stuff. And he's like trying to make a moment. He's like seeing it's happening to Nikki. And when you're in this line of work, like you get out what you put into cameo, you have to promote it. You have to do well. You have to make meaningful videos in order for the business to grow. It's not just like this automatic thing. So I need him to calm down a little bit, like let Nikki have her moment. I'm telling you, I think he's feeling threatened. Yeah. I guess a cameo from Tom Sandoval could be funny.
Perhaps at a point in time. Right now, I don't think it would be funny. I don't know. If I got you a cameo out of nowhere, if I got you a cameo from Tom Sandoval. Please don't. And he was like, turdy and the most extras. No, please don't. I think I just might just to punish you. No, but like, actually, please don't.
I want to know what he charges. I want to see Turdy and the Most Extras up there shaking that thing. I am going to start a band, Turdy and the Most Extras, because it's kind of a good name. It is kind of a good name. Tom Sandoval on Cameo is charging $200. Why is he charging more than Nikki Blonsky right now? Yeah, who charges the most? By the way, your rate is fluid. Yeah, you can always go up, go down. It's supply and demand. Okay, I'll tell you. Okay, the number one booked on Cameo right now is...
Nikki Bonsky. You're lying. I swear. The number two is James Buckley. He's an actor from the Inbetweeners. I've never, I've never seen him before. Always the office people who make all the money on cameo. Number three is LeVar Ball. Who's that? It says he's the CEO of Big Baller Brand. I think he's a basketball guy. Cool. Number four is Tom Sandoval.
Wow. So it's his marketing is working. Number five is brilliantly dumb. The creator of Bob does sports. I actually don't know most of these people. You know what the shame is? The shame is that we would crush it on cameo. Yeah. Um, we would crush it on cameo. I've been on cameo before and I was, I did, uh, get a lot of inbounds. Um, but I'm trying to find who the most expensive person is for my mental health.
And so I had to take a back seat. Who is the most expensive on Cameo? I feel like for a while it was Bethany Frankel. I feel like it's that guy from The Office.
Brian Baumgartner. Yep, yep, him. He plays Kevin from The Office. I don't believe he's on it anymore, but we did, I remember reporting on it, he ended up sharing that he made a million dollars one year on Cameo. So he bought his house and he moved on with his life. If we did Cameo for a year, like maybe we could go in together for a lake house or something. Yeah, yeah. All these like compilations are like the most expensive. They're a little outdated, but for a while it was Caitlyn Jenner, $2,500. Yeah.
Damn, but was she getting booked that much? I'm sure she was getting booked, but it's like- You only need one instead of 10. What's the gap between, instead of 25 for Nikki Blonsky? Well, yeah, Nikki Blonsky. Floyd Mayweather also for a while. Now, the prices are old and these are all outdated, but Bethany, like the names that are being floated around, Bethany-
Mr. Wonderful. A lot of the sharks were on it. Yeah. Like I know Luann, like the housewives do really well on Cameo. That's a, that's really a great gift. Floyd Mayweather, $15,000 was the last most expensive person. But I feel like at some point it gets confusing when really wealthy people are on Cameo. But if you're doing it for $15,000 to do a two minute video, make $15,000 in two minutes like that makes sense. I just feel like $15,000 is like not worth two minutes of Floyd Mayweather's time. I don't know why. Like I feel like he's that rich. What do I know? Maybe. Maybe.
But I don't know. You could just like get a jet ski in two minutes. You could get a jet ski in two minutes. Maybe I'll go on Cameo for $15,000 and maybe it will be better for my mental health. Yeah, I'll go on Cameo and I'll make it like a hundred grand. See if anybody will pay it. You can just make it up. Yeah. Well, yeah, it would be a lot.
But then it's like, I don't know. It's a funny thing, cameo. I'm glad that it's in our lives. I'm glad that we're talking about it. It provides like endless fodder. Like viral cameos. Like, I'm sorry, Happy Chinooka is going to be my favorite cameo of all time. Smokey Robinson. I mean, that's like one of the things that made like the biggest drama on the Real Housewives of New York. Remember like that woman, Elise with the bangs? What about her? She was like saying stuff about...
I don't remember. Like they're always making news. Also, I think conceptually as a business, it's quite brilliant. I believe that they are a publicly traded company. Like I think they crush it. I believe so as well. There's not even another company that does the same thing.
No, they could never. How much revenue do you think they do in a year? Oh my God. What? This is from 2020. I guess because it was like the perfect gift and the only way people were making money on COVID. But in 2020, they did $100 million in gross revenue. I feel like they still do that. It's such an easy gift. They were once valued at a billion dollars. And now this article saying as of eight months ago, they can't pay a $600,000 fine.
I just feel like that's not true. Nikki Blonsky probably gets like 600 bookings a day. Right. Wow. The guys who started Cameo are actually really smart. I feel like that's something we would have started. Yeah. It's just like a simple but really brilliant concept. Yeah. Everyone wins. Yeah. And today you win. Today I win. Nikki wins. Bruno wins. Bruno got a shout out. So did your party loaf. So did my party loaf. I should send her a loaf.
She did in her cameo request your recipe. She did. I don't think she can handle it. I just don't feel like she has like the patience to make sourdough.
To be honest, I actually see a lot of myself in Nikki Blonsky and we are both not the elk of Pargy loaf makers. No, especially not without like self rising yeast. Right. Being a mother to a sourdough starter is a full time job, especially in the beginning. And with all of her travels and. Right. Bookings. West Virginia. Like you've got to be home to feed your starter. Correct. So I'll send her a loaf.
That's very generous. I wonder if she'll see that like we posted her cameo and that we're big fans. I know she like does a lot of work on social media and that's what this whole like Nikki Blonsky renaissance is about. I do feel like she's not of this world though. Do you know what I mean? Like she's not really in touch. I feel like we need her on the toast right this minute. In such a desperate way. And what's annoying is that I'm sure every podcast is like reaching. Text the team.
Let's see if we can do it. Isn't she a Long Island girl? I believe she lives in New Jersey. We'll go out there. We'll take. We will. We'll take the path. Can we reach out to Nikki Blonsky about coming on the podcast? Question mark. Immediately. Like tomorrow. Immediately. ASAP. By end of week. Since Jackie's coming to town. Yeah, exactly. That's why we would do it. Nicest kids in town. Like those are the sort of guests we need.
Yeah. And so what I was gonna say is like, I'm sure every podcast is a clamoring to have. I think, by the way, not even just putting Nikki Blonsky in our title yesterday. Our episode is so outperforming. She's so of the zeitgeist right now. And what's annoying is like we're now competing with millions of other shows when a year ago nobody would have wanted talking about. Right. Nobody would have wanted Nikki a year ago. We want her just as much now as we wanted her then. Yeah. Maybe even a little less now just because she's so popular. We're such like anti-culture trendsetters. Yeah. Yeah.
Is it a story that Meghan Markle has joined an affiliate link program? No, it's not. Okay, good. I don't want it to be, but I do need to briefly talk about it. Like you, I think become like really obsessed with random Meghan Markle things. And like, this is my obsession with my random Meghan Markle obsession of the day. When I saw Meghan,
that she joined an affiliate program that I'm familiar with. It's called Shop My. It's like LTK. It's just different. I know a bunch of girls who use it. It's just a program that pays you. She may as well have joined LTK. I feel like people, like the streets know LTK more than Shop My because Shop My is new. And for those who don't know, if you're like a creator, anyone with a platform and you want to like link your shirt, but make a little bit of money off of every shirt you sell, it's called an affiliate link. And there are these companies like LTK, Shop My, R Style. They, um,
facilitate that for you. They help you create links that are commissionable and you can like track them and stuff. So you create little stores with all your little things, like an Amazon storefront type of thing. And Megan announced yesterday being like, I saw so many people asking like for my clothes recommendations and like links and stuff. So I made a little shop on ShopMind and she linked it. And I don't know if to everybody, it was the biggest deal in the world. When I tell you I had to sit for 10 minutes and think about it, I could not get over it. Having a ShopMind or any sort of affiliate store
Is such a regular thing to do. And like, this is a person who was on the balcony at Buckingham palace, you know? Right. I don't know if I'll ever get over it. Of all the things she's done since Megxit, this to me is the most shocking. Yes.
Yeah, and it's not like she did a little store. She's got a lot of products linked. And let me tell you, it's not for nothing. Actually, that was one of my thoughts from the show is like, I love her vibe, her aesthetic. The clothes are very pargy. When she even said her pants were from Zara, I was like, I know she's probably not pillaging Zara. There's somebody who does that for her. But her whole aesthetic is actually really beautiful. And it should be shoppable. And so it's not a bad idea. It's just like...
It's a crazy, is it? It's just like very pedestrian. It is the, it's the craziest thing. Yeah, but I don't know, I'm no longer really shocked by her. Like she is an influencer. She has a podcast. She posts Instagram stories and her thumb is covering the camera lens. Like it's not even like,
ballerina farm. I don't know. I guess up until this point, ballerina farm meets Britney Spears. I guess I thought everything up until this point that she did that was quote unquote like pedestrian, like having a podcast. Anyone can have one. It's all been done with like the right partners. You know, she had this big Spotify partnership. So it's always been like, yeah, she's doing things that everybody else is doing, but at a much higher operating level. Yeah. And now it's like, well, no, we all log into our shop, my.com and like, you know, make a link. The
The way that you feel about her shop is like more akin to how I felt when she was posting those Instagram stories, like running around her backyard, like nuttiness. Yeah, I guess. And there wasn't a third party for it. And it's not premium and it's not curated and it's like very regular. Yeah, I guess the difference is that like all people high and low, like post on social media, maybe not at the level that she does. Not royals, but like even in America, when you think of the most famous people, like they all share stuff, right? But they don't all have affiliate links. Like it's really crazy. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, did you buy anything? No, I'm not in like a phase of my life where I am buying things, but I have thought that like this summer when I'm just like looking to relax and, you know, wear baggy clothes that are summery, I will be shopping at shopmy.com slash Megan. Okay.
So she's providing a service. 1000%. Because I don't think I'll be buying her jams. I'm not like a, I like Smuckers and Bon Mama. Like I'm all good on jam. I also feel like maybe she got paid to be on the platform. Oh, that would be good. I think so. I think we just also like always assume stuff like that about her because it's like otherwise, why would she do it? But wouldn't there be like a big press announcement? Like shut my announces partnership with brand ambassador because everything she does is more elevated. Yeah, no, not a rogue Instagram story. Yeah, I don't know.
I feel like maybe she's gotten like a good deal with them. I hope. I hope as well. Well, it seems like she's having fun in this content creation phase of her life. And at this point, like bring back the Tig. Like actually, why not? If there's... I know, but we can't handle another name.
I know it's true. And she should have included, she should have included the TIG from the very beginning. And like with love as ever should have always been like the same name, whichever one you want to go with. Like the with love jams and the with love show. I just want to say like a jam company called the TIG. That kind of makes sense. Like the fig, the fig TIG. Yeah. Um, I agree. There's too much going on and it's been mismanaged from the beginning. Um, but at this point, like she made an affiliate link. So there's really nothing off limits. Like bring your blog back. Yeah. Well, we need recipes. We do.
right no but she's not gonna she can't bring in the name the tig i'm sorry it's too late yeah i agree love blog with love tig these names she is having fun and so are we because today's tuesday which is an important day in toaster history it's dear toasters tuesday ttt at the end of today's episode we have dear toasters our weekly advice segment so make sure to stick around for that um we actually have a crazy one i actually meant to ask you like if we should talk about it subject matter
I feel like we don't do a lot of drugs. It's a bit of the white stuff. I mean, yeah, let's see where it goes. But you know us. We're open. Mothers Against Drugs. We are Mothers Against Drugs. But I try not to be judgmental. And Against Drunk Driving. I'm a mad. You are. You're going to be the president. I should join Mad to Death. Your local chapter. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, so you'll hear from a bunch of narcs.
Yeah. But you did write into us, so you know who we are. It's true. You were looking for a different show. It's true. You were looking for a very specific type of advice if you're writing to us about this. So we'll talk about it. So you'll get it.
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After five seasons. So Garcelle posted a video this morning saying that she's leaving Real Houses of Beverly Hills. She announced on Instagram that she is departing the hit reality TV show after five seasons to focus on her family and other projects she has lined up. So she shared a video to her Instagram. She looked parjay. Yeah, spelling out the reasons why she's leaving, thanking everyone who has been a part of the journey, the fans, the crew, the fans.
wives themselves. She said that she's leaving to focus on her kids. It's their last year of high school coming up and she wants to be there for that. She also has a lot of work stuff coming up that she's really excited about. And so she is leaving the housewives. She did say like Andy said, she can come back anytime. And so who knows, could be a see you later, but she's out for now.
Yeah, I feel like housewives, when they leave, always, for the most part, as long as they part on good terms, production allows them, even if they've been fired, allows them to say, I'm leaving and making it seem like it's their choice. I do think with Garcelle, it was her choice. I don't see a reason why she would be fired. She's an excellent housewife. I agree. And why would she be fired in the middle of the season? We haven't even seen how things shake out. How do the fans feel about her? How does the reunion go? I don't think she was fired. I think she's really leaving. Me too. I...
I'm shocked by this. I feel like it's been actually really good for her career outside of being a reality star. Like, as you know, she produces and acts in a lot of like content. She's like, I think a big production deal with Lifetime. So, yeah,
I'm shocked because I think a lot of her like recent success within the industry just has to do with her overall star rising from this show. And it's been actually impressive for, I don't know a lot of housewives who have done what she did with her housewife success. Usually it's a little bit more like, you know, front facing club appearances. Like I'm a model. Whereas like she has a production company and like actually built something really sustainable, which I think is really smart. Um,
Maybe she's just not enjoying it anymore, you know? Yeah, I do feel like there's a reason that she's not saying, not like something big and bad, but I don't know. It just didn't feel like compelling enough. Like she's always been busy and she always has a lot of work. So like it's really been now too much that she can't do housewives. And then to be there for her kids in high school, they're less. It's so weird. Yeah, I just feel like there's more of a feeling that she might have that she's just not sharing. Like whether it is she's tired or she's over it or maybe her career.
career stuff is more than ever. I just like I don't know. I just feel like there might be a little more to it. Yeah I have questions for sure. Also did you see that Bose is on Jimmy Fallon tonight? No. Yes I saw a clip. I was shocked. That's so crazy. It is for like a housewife to be on a late night show like is a really big deal especially by themselves. I feel like sometimes they'll do like two together like I know like Dorit and Kyle went on like Kelly Clarkson which is daytime a little bit different but
it still feels like a little out of their scope. And so for it to be Bose by herself, I love, I was shocked. She's having a,
She's having a good season and we really like her, but it's not like the name on everybody's lips in the whole world is both. It's been with some other housewives in their first seasons. But it's also not like Beverly Hills is having a particularly high rated year. I feel like it's actually one of their slowest worst seasons. People aren't really talking about it. Right. Except for us. Right. I feel like it would make more sense when Salt Lake City was on. I feel like it was really impacting the zeitgeist if Heather Gay had been on. Yeah. Yeah.
So I found that kind of crazy. I'm very here for it, but just an interesting thing to note. Yeah. Very interesting. I would welcome Garcelle back. I am sad to see her go. I think she's a great housewife. I think whether you like her or dislike her in terms of the actual drama, she's a very good housewife. She has like said things that needed to be said. She's very direct. She has an interesting life, her personal life, like with her kids always, you know, I'm added to some,
off-camera drama than the Vanderpump Rules of it all. So she really did, she did a great job, I would say. A job well done. She will be missed. Thank you for your service. Yeah, I agree. She's not been my favorite housewife recently. I find myself always, like, actually opposed to her. Disagreeing. But not for one second was I like, I don't want her on the show. I mean, this is what it takes to make a show. Like, you're going to have people you agree with and disagree with. And I...
I enjoyed her. So this will be a loss. I wonder who they'll replace her with though. That's always exciting. I don't know if they need a replacement, but I do think Beverly Hills needs like a little bit of a something. Yeah. I think they should bring back someone. I don't know that we need someone like brand new.
They should bring back Denise. Now's the time because one, Denise is like having a successful spinoff, which like always puts the other women in a weird like position to she's kind of been talked about a lot when it comes to like how terrible they were to her about her sexuality. And now that's a big question with Kyle. Like, I do think that would shake things up. But I feel like Denise would only want to come back with Garcelle there and it would be more it would be better with Denise and Garcelle.
That's true. Oh, I would have loved that. I forgot that they have like an alliance. She's like the only one in the group that Denise still likes. Yeah. Maybe like Jennifer Tilly will become full time because Sutton's going to need a friend. Yeah. I don't know if that just feels like we'd be getting the same season, but like a little different. Yeah. Or they bring back someone else. Bring back Eileen Davidson. Stop being so afraid. Teddy.
Yeah. Even though I don't think Teddy's at a place right now where she can really like shake up a show. Right. But they're always talking about her. She's friends with all of the ladies still. She has a really successful podcast. I don't think they can like talk about her now in the way that they have been up until this point. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, you know, she's going through maybe in better times, but there are plenty of people who are still in the mix. They come to Camille Grammer. Not that that's who I want. No, please, please, please. But I think that would be better right now than finding someone new. New. Yeah. LVP.
She would never, but I am ready. I'm ready to honestly Lisa Rinna. Yeah. Cause I feel like that was one of those people. It's not fair to take out Garcelle for Lisa Rinna because then like you're stacking one side and
Oh yeah but the thing is like I find the Sutton sides like I find it I think like the fact that this this season is broken down but like Sutton versus everyone is what makes the season bad. She's not a worthy adversary and she's not like an interesting person. Yeah. So like I'm ready for something totally new. Yeah. I don't know if Lisa Rinna would like be the balance that we need but I'm open. I'm open. I also don't think she would. Do it. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know. She's like, on the one hand, she'd probably be like, yeah, I'm better off since I left Housewives. But on the other hand, I feel like she's kind of shameless and is like, okay, let's get paid. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get to work. Correct. Let's roll up our sleeves. Maybe. It'll be interesting. Mm-hmm. Our next story, a little more Housewives news.
Teresa Giudice and her husband Luis Ruelas hit with $3 million in tax liens. So according to records obtained by People, the Real Houses of New Jersey star Teresa and her husband Luis have been hit with over $3 million in tax liens, with Teresa owing $303,000 and Luis owing nearly $2.6 million.
This comes three months after Louie was issued another lien for $160,000 in December, which the New Jersey court's website show is still an open case. Now, this is not a shock because it does feel like Teresa is very much like the Dorit of the East Coast. Like the finances, especially with Louie, like don't really add up. I know she does very well as a reality star and, you know, a celebrity, but it doesn't match up with the house and the lifestyle and the jets to Greece.
Having said that, it is shocking that somebody like a grown woman would find themselves in a situation like this not once but twice. And the first time, you know, I really was like, it's through no fault of her own, right? Like he so clearly, you watch those early seasons. She was such a stereotype of like the woman who has no idea what's going on in her husband's business and just signs stuff because he brought home paperwork for her to sign and is very trusting.
But now I'm like, well, at what point are we going to put some personal accountability? Because I do think Louis is a shady business person. And every time he's been asked, since his inception on the show about his business, remember he got fired, he took a company public. There's been so many...
weird things about his business. I do believe that like, if they have found themselves in trouble, it's his fault. Yeah. But how many times can a person find themselves here again? But it's like, I really just think it's more so having learned nothing from the first situation. Not like Teresa has low key been like a con woman this whole time. Like, no, I don't think so either. But at what point do we assign personal accountability to this person? I feel like the accountability like is insanity that like, you know what I mean? Like if this was like,
In court, like she wouldn't be tried because she, insanity. By reason of insanity. Yeah. Yeah.
Because she's doing the same thing over, like not asking questions, shutting down anyone who has anything to say when all of the signs point towards. And it's not because like she's like, yeah, Louie, steal that money. She's just insane. It's such a good point. A hopeless, romantic, naive, like to the point of being insane. Yeah. And you know what? Not that I wish, you know, money issues on anyone, but this is insane.
when it comes to the future of the franchise because they've been in Jersey like in a state of limbo for a while. It's like Melissa, Teresa and I actually think another criminal go around for Teresa like really helps. Well, it's
Cause it's going to be one of those things you can't bring up. Yeah. And then like a Jackie Goldschneider is going to bring it up. Well, not her. Well, not Jackie, but you know what I mean? Like that was what she did last time. And that makes for interesting TV. Yeah. And you know, Teresa like is not going to, she won't leave the show because she feels like it's hers and not Melissa's. So like maybe a normal person who wouldn't want to talk about this wouldn't be on the show, but she's like, we said, um,
I just want to say like for her, she owes 300K. I feel like she could pay that. Cameo. Yeah. Like she'll take a couple of brand deals. She can pay that off quickly. I'm actually not worried about that. So Louie owes about $2.8 million, which I just want to say to his credit also means that he's earned like $1
10 million dollars right well are they saying it's 2.8 in unpaid taxes some of that is like penalties and fines and interest from the last lean what's that I don't know what a lean is I actually don't know hold on let me google that's actually a good question because yeah you're right it would indicate like high earning penalties but like if we're in the millions like you have to make millions to owe millions
A tax lien is a legal claim by the government against a property where the owner fails to pay taxes owed. It can apply to real estate, personal property, or financial assets. A tax lien does not immediately result in the government seizing the property, but it gives them the right to do so if the debt remains unpaid. So it's not really clear what it's from. It's just a debt to the government. Okay, it could be property tax or income tax. It could be all sorts of tax. I know they can put a lien on your house, but I don't know what that necessarily means. Is it a tax lien on your house? No.
Tell me what a tax lien is as if I'm an idiot. All right. By the way, thank you. Imagine you owe the government money because you didn't pay your taxes. Instead of just letting it slide, the government puts a big red flag on something you own, like your house or your car, saying you can't sell or refinance this until you pay it back.
Pay us back. That's a tax lien. It's their way of making sure that they get their money. If you don't pay up, they might eventually take your stuff or let someone else buy the right to collect from you. Got it. Okay. So he didn't pay taxes and they've put a tax lien on whatever. They say what it was. Got it. Okay. Just on themselves. Yeah.
yourself but so anyways like of course pay your taxes louis but you've gotta make millions to owe millions so he's obviously making money but just pay your taxes and it also feels like they don't have like a proper financial advisor like this i feel like theresa's could have been the sort of situation where she underpaid like she meant to pay your taxes but at the same time as he as well he's she's probably using his person who sucks
I think that you're like simplifying it a little too much. Like it's a little idealistic. I'm simplifying Teresa's. I don't know how you accidentally don't pay $2.8 million in taxes. I'm simplifying Teresa's to say like it could have been an accounting era because she uses his account because she's an insane person who still trusts her husband, even though there's numerous red flags. Yeah, she's yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
I just saw this and like I didn't even feel bad for her. Like the whole, I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? No, it's so crazy. Grow up. Yeah. Get a different business manager. Keep maybe separate from Louise. I just know she's using Louise. No, or she's using the same guy because when she, that guy James, when she was going to prison, they had like this lawyer slash publicist slash assistant who does everything for them.
And he was there putting her in prison. And there, when she got out, he would pick her up, drive her to Joe. And I feel like he is still actively involved in their finances. And somehow this is his fault. But she didn't have tax issues since the time she left Joe Giudice to the time she married Louie. So like when she was going. Right when you get out of prison, you're always going to behave, you know, but a couple of years later. So you're, but.
then you're like assigning malice to her. No, I'm not. I'm not. No, you're right. I don't think that she knows any better. But at some point, like a 50-year-old mother of four, like I do expect more from you. Yeah. Hopefully she could pay this off swiftly. You just don't want this sort of stuff paving over your head. And hopefully he could pay it off even though he didn't pay off 160K in December. So it doesn't bode well for the 2.8. Right.
But this does bode well for the Real Housewives of New York, Jersey, excuse me, in terms of plot lines, because this is interesting. Yeah. Well, they were supposed to, according to that one rumor we both saw, that Judice Lurelas were going to get their own show.
Which is not as interesting like when you have a tax drama. Like I need the other women involved. And like watching a bunch of crazy people be crazy. Like no, you need the balance of normalcy. No, not only that. Like if you have your own show and you're going through this big like tax scandal, who's around to challenge you on that? Like we just have to believe you. Right, they can be like it's paid.
Yeah, right. Like, oh, Louis, let's write the check. Like, I need the Margaret Josephs of the world to air the dirty laundry. Yeah, she'll be on the New Jersey court's website seeing if the case is still open. They say she's actually rumored to be on the upcoming season of Traders. They're casting it right now. Some other names floating around were Tiffany Pollard. Fab.
Margaret Joseph's Dorinda Medley should be Dorinda wasn't she just on it yes they say she might be on it again please no I was thinking about watching the next season no I know let me tell you who else I saw it's all like rumored to be and it was like Twitter but what show what shows are we watching I was thinking someone should be on it White Lotus no no no someone from like Real Housewives yeah
Oh, Mary Cosby, NeNe Leakes, Margaret Josephs, and Ava Marcel will reportedly be a part of Traitor Season 4. And what about from the young shows like Summer House, Southern Charm? That was just the one rumor that came. Sheena should be on Traitors. That's who I was thinking. Give it to Sheena. Yeah. I think she'll be terrible at the game, even though I don't know what the game is. Yeah. But maybe she'll be like so bad that like it actually results, you know, when people think you're bluffing, but you're actually just don't know what you're doing.
I feel like she deserves it. Bravo's definitely ripe with people who would do well on that show. Even though they try to not only do Bravo, they do like CBS shows. And who the fart is Dylan Efron? Zach Efron's brother. But like what else has he done? The show's not filled with people's brothers. You know, he was born from the same womb as Zach. That's it? Yeah.
I believe, you know, he had like a career before that of like, you know, smaller projects. And I just want to say like, I'm enjoying everything that he's doing. He, spoiler alert, one traders along with 10 other people. And he's been doing like a lot of press and like, I think he's like so cute and hysterical and I enjoy him. But like is before traders, who is he other than Zac Efron's brother? Who was, who was Dylan Efron in this world before that? I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I feel like maybe he was on Claims of Fame or something, you know, like that Jonas Brothers show. So again, Zac Efron's brother. I'm just going to Google it. Like, I feel like maybe he's like an... What did Dylan Efron do before Traitors? He's an influencer, producer, and production coordinator. Okay, so he's Zac Efron's brother. He worked as a producer on American Sniper.
live by night the accountant and ready player one in addition to his behind the scenes work he ventured into content creation and producing okay so yeah he is like an influencer yeah so as we thought like he was like a classic celebrity sibling hold on did Dylan Efron date Stella Hudgens that's a question here no way that would be so cute if they dated while they dated it's too it's too idealistic it won't let me click it
We'll never know. Hangs in the balance. Our next story, someone else's something. We'll make sense in a second. Vittoria Turetti, girlfriend of Leonardo DiCaprio, does not like being called girlfriend of Leonardo DiCaprio.
So Vittoria, hold the C, Chiaretti, hates being labeled as Leo's girlfriend. She gave an interview to Vogue France and said, as soon as you're in a relationship with someone who has a larger following than you, you become girlfriend of or boyfriend of for that matter. And that can be extremely annoying, she said. Suddenly people are talking about you as so-and-so's girlfriend who is so-and-so's ex. She said, so it's not nice to think that you can't love whoever you want because of the labels people need to stick on you.
She also spoke candidly about being in a relationship with Leo. She said, if you know you love each other, then there's no reason to be alarmed because love protects and gives confidence. Okay. Like... I just... I can't imagine a world where, like, we actually couldn't call someone who's dating, like, Leonardo DiCaprio, where we couldn't mention that, like, that's Leo's girlfriend. Like, it's just, like, factually germane to the story. I don't even have a thought on, like, what she said. Like...
I don't care. Like, she's like desperate to be a victim. Oh my God. Yeah. Because the way you were just reading that, it sounded like it was coming from somebody who's been like deeply marginalized. Like you're literally a model on the cover of Vogue and your boyfriend's Leonardo DiCaprio. I don't want to hear about your problems. And to be honest, I have officially, like post-Cami Marone, I have stopped caring about Leonardo DiCaprio's personal life, his romantic life, the girls that he dates. Like,
To me she was kind of the end all be all He got away with a lot up until then But then it's like you know what she was kind of perfect And if they were going to work out great After that like I actually don't give a fuck But I also just feel like anyone who Well this is like a separate thing of just about like Leo And like you know his age cap And that he never wants to get married he never wants to settle down Like at this point anyone who enters into a relationship With him like when he breaks up with you For turning 26
we're not going to feel sorry because like that's what like that. It's so clear. She's almost like preempting us to feel sorry for her in this article. And I just want to say like in no world will I ever feel bad for you. But I just, I also want to say, I remember when we watched the Victoria's secret fashion show, she was someone who I saw and I didn't know who she was. And I thought she was so fantastic. And then I was like Victoria. And then we figured out that she's his new girlfriend. And so I didn't notice her outside of being Leo's girlfriend. Yeah.
Okay, that's great. But now you're also the old girlfriend. I don't think it was. She kind of has a chip. She does have a chip. Which is, I'm finding annoying. Maybe other people find it annoying when we have a chip. But like, she's a chip on her shoulder. And I don't know, maybe it's just like the classic trope of like models, like wanting to be under, like...
We don't feel bad for you. You're a model. You're in Vogue. You date Leonardo DiCaprio. Try as you may to sound like a victim in your interview. Like, we don't care. Yeah. Imagine how Dylan Efron feels.
Imagine how I feel, okay? Like always being my sister, you mean? Oh, that's what you were saying. Imagine how Dylan Efron feels. Like literally we struggle to identify him as anything other than Zac Efron's brother. And look, he's enjoying his life. And that's not a joke for him. Yeah, he seems happy and fulfilled. Yeah, like get over it. It's not a terrible thing. At least you're known, okay? Like some of us would kill for it to be known as something.
To be in the Victoria's Secret fashion show. Yeah. No, and I'm sorry, you don't get all the weight of Vogue by being someone's girlfriend. Like, maybe it helps, but, like, she sounds kind of insecure. Like, girl, you're on the cover of Vogue, France, which is, like, a good one. Sometimes they make up, like, Vogue's in random countries. Like, I'm on the cover of Vogue, Timbuktu. Okay. You know what I mean? But, like, certain Vogue's are really, like, Vogue, France, British Vogue. Like, they carry a lot of weight. They're almost as... What's the one that anyone can buy that, like...
It's like I feel like it's been on like reality show where someone's like I'm on the cover of I think in Miami Vogue cover you because it's like if you're on it like anyone can just buy it. Okay let's hear. I'm on my way hold on I feel like it was in Miami like Larsa Pippen was on the cover of it. I feel like I know what it is but I don't want to say it unless I know it's right. Okay wait one second I'm having a hard time like Vogue cover let me search Larsa. Yeah I was gonna say let me test my theory I'm not sure that that's what it was but that's what I feel like it was.
no she's not been on the cover of oak unfortunately or what was this harper's bazaar oh maybe it's not maybe it's harper's bazaar wait harper's bazaar vietnam yeah oh i wasn't gonna say that but like sure sure sure so if you want to be on the cover of harper's bazaar you know sounds like there's a way to have a little faith in herself victoria i know she seems like
girl this is just not the vibe that I like I feel like this was like a talking point that she worked on with her team and it's like we're gonna be like women empowerment we're not just someone's girlfriend it didn't come off like that it came off a sad sack yeah but I think she won I think she meant for this to be like an empowering moment for women like I'm not just someone's girlfriend I will not just be like you know tied to my partner okay no and you're not like okay like sure but that's also a part of the your story
Okay. Okay. Like whatever she wants me to think, I'll think like, okay. Okay. Are you ready for our next story? Someone. Oh yeah. Number four. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Someone's fiance has been deleted. I don't know if you've seen this, but the internet's in a tizzy because Sydney Sweeney has deleted a kissing photo with her fiance, Jonathan DeVino. And it's actually really weird. So,
So in my mind, these two are like have been broken up. She's feeling breakup rumors from her fiance after she deleted a photo of them kissing from her New Year's Eve Instagram carousel. So a new feature on Instagram is where you can put up a carousel and then instead of deleting the whole thing to take out one photo, you can just take out one photo. Yeah. And do they let you add a photo yet? That would be cool. That is coming for sure. But anyways, worse than just deleting a picture from her grid, maybe it like didn't serve her or whatever. Maybe the flow is changing. She went into her carousel from January and deleted a picture of them kissing.
That's weird. Macoray.
Did she delete like all traces of him off her social media? No, he's still in, there's like a group photo of him in this carousel, but a picture of them kissing has been deleted. Maybe she was like about to start clearing him from her social and did the first one and then was like, whatever, this is immature. Because I don't see a world in which this makes sense otherwise. And of course, like this big story here is like Sidney Sweeney deleted kissing boyfriend. Right. But what I want to know
is who discovered this and like what are you doing with your life that you have remember that the picture is in the carousel you went all the way back to check if it's still there no that's a really good point and I feel like there's actually no way to know that this is true that's also true well they do have the picture here oh it's like those you quite anyone know who discovered it Sidney Sweeney Daly
Even if you commit your whole life like to making a fan page of someone like I still think this is really crazy to have noticed. I think so too. Okay but I'm no longer doubting that it's it's validity. Yeah like the picture is here on Sydney Sweeney fans. I see what Sydney Sweeney fans has done there. And now it's not there and they must they must go back every day to check if it's still there but I guess if you're on like Sydney Sweeney watch and you know that there's rumors then you check to see if she's deleting stuff.
And it's kind of your job to keep people abreast on that. I'm going to choose to believe that like the reason why she did this was because she was like going to start something and then was like, just forget it, you know? Because some people, there is like a divide. People, what do you think when you break up with like a long-term partner, clearing them from your social media or just like leaving it? It's supposed to be like the timeline of your life and this is what your life was like for that year. I think you leave it until your next relationship and then archive it. I don't think you need to break up and then go and start deleting stuff. It's like...
For what? I've never had to like do that. I don't know. But I do imagine like it would feel weird to like have a boyfriend all over your page who's not actively your boyfriend anymore. I would focus more on posting fresh new stuff so that the boyfriend moves down.
It also is different when you are a public person who people go to your profile to look at. Yes, but also like if you're a regular person, you want to meet someone and you have a boyfriend all over your page, they might think you have a boyfriend. Of course, yes. So maybe like archive like some of the recent just so that like people can see that you're single. Yeah. I think you need to be like removing photos out of like spite or hatred. Like it's part of the fabric of your life. So as long as you're keeping your profile updated and it's not stopping you from meeting the next person.
I think it's totally fine to leave some stuff up. And this is like kind of, you know, celebrities are always when they're like starting new eras, they're like clearing their social media. I feel like they do that. One, of course, like be dramatic. But two, then they never really have to deal with like old relationship things because they clear. Celebrities clear their Instagram like once every two years. That's like a relationship timeline. Yeah. I...
Believe these two are broken up. And as you guys know, I'm extremely here for it. Right. So stay tuned for the official announcement. Euphoria is like back, allegedly filming. So I think it'd be good for her to dive into a new project, you know? Yeah. Wonder closes. Another one opens. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? If it's our fifth and final story that's brought to you perchance by Home Chef. Yes. Home Chef. My favorite. I know. I don't know why I said it like that. I do love Home Chef. I do.
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Thank you, Turd and Phone. You're welcome. Our fifth and final story, things are actually getting worse for Jamie King. She's speaking out. No. What's so funny is I see this story nowhere, so I'm so glad you're constantly keeping me abreast on it because it's actually devastating, and it's something I'm interested in that I don't see major coverage of. Yeah. Well, also I saw last week that they're reporting her and Taylor are not like friends at the moment. They haven't been close in a while, even though Taylor is the godmother. Yikes. So...
I just I know we were curious. But anyway, she's speaking out after being forced out of her L.A. pad for owing more than forty two thousand dollars in back rent. Oh, no. Now she doesn't have a place to live. Yeah. So as Page Six says, Taylor Swift's longtime friend, Jamie King. God, they're so annoying. The cover photo is a picture of her and Taylor Swift. Maybe they worry people don't care enough about Jamie King, like without the Taylor Swift connection. But also maybe actresses.
Maybe like a younger Demo only knows her in reference to Taylor. Like I see her and I think of Heart of Dixie. I think some of our, you know, beloved Gen X listeners see her and think of Pearl Harbor. And then our Gen Z listeners. Millennials. White chicks.
And then our Gen Z listeners see her and think Taylor Swift's friend. Yeah. Well, she's broken her silence after being forced out of her L.A. home for owing more than $42,000 in back rent. After her landlord locked her out of the property just days after she lost custody of her two sons, she told Us Weekly over the weekend, quote, the situation with my landlord was resolved privately.
It's disappointing but not surprising to see someone try to exploit this moment for attention. I'm currently focused on what matters most, my children. Just a week ago, the Sun reported that she was forced out of her L.A. home after accumulating $42K in back rent. Per the documents obtained by Us Weekly, she had been living at the $10,145 a month Hollywood Hills pad since April 2023 but had stopped paying rent in January. Her landlord said she was forced to lock... Oh, it was a woman. She was forced to... I don't know why. It was just...
Yeah, and a landlord evicting you gives male energy. I thought the same. She was forced to... Don't be ashamed. She was forced to lock King out of the rental property pending payment, claiming that the actress had been maliciously remaining at the residence. However, Jamie's attorney has since denied the allegation, saying she had been taking acting jobs to pay off the back rent.
It's just one of those situations where you think you've hit rock bottom. You lose custody of your kids. And how could it possibly get worse? And look, here it is, getting worse. Yeah, and clearly in this moment, she's going through it. I'm sure things have been ongoing, but there's highs and lows, and this seems to be a low. She was paying her rent up until January, and now she's not paying her rent, and she doesn't have custody of her kids. But then I also saw an update the other day. She posted a selfie with... I think she had an outing with her kids, and she posted a smiling...
picture with them i just feel like she's really focused on the wrong things right now like just like taking pictures with your kids sending a statement to us weekly about your rent like i understand like i care about what other people think of course but when you've hit such a low in your life and you've actually lost custody of your kids the fact that it seems like a priority to manage the press um when this really can and should be handled totally privately it feels like an odd uh
Yeah. No, get your house in order. Right. And then write a book like everybody else, you know? Yeah. And I'm sure she has, she's been a child actress. Like, I'm sure she's been through a lot. But right now, I agree with you. Like,
find a place to live like not the direct statement to us weekly it's not like it's you know the new york times right like focus no shade to us weekly but like time with your kids ignore us right like don't make it like you have only a set amount of time with your kids stop taking selfies like and and connect yeah especially when like what's come out is so egregious like no smiling selfie is just gonna change what i've read right right right right
A memoir might. Right. Later on, once everything has resolved itself. Yeah. But like it's not something you can just put a bandaid on. No. Um.
But things you might be able to put a bandaid on are some of our Dear Toaster submissions. So if you guys don't know, maybe. Every Tuesday, Jackie and I do Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment where we read three submissions from swirlies in need. They reach out to us, you know, through all different stages of life, marriage, wedding, relationships, you know, you can talk to us about anything. We're really open books. And I think you'll see that today.
So thank you to everyone who wrote in in advance for your openness and your transparency. Oh, and if you want to write in, deartoasters.gmail.com is the email address, or you can head over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. Scroll down, little submission box. Both methods of communication are completely anonymous. Okay.
Hey, girly swirlies. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year. He's been great. I'm 25. He is 27. He's a wonderful, hardworking man. We've really leaned on each other this past year. One issue. He works in a prison and I understand this job can be brutal and uncomfortable at times, but he continuously talks about how unfair it is that the pregnant women that work there get lighter duty shifts, meaning earlier posts in the jail, like you get to sit at the front desk for your shift, like you just get like lighter loads.
He didn't get an easier shift when he broke his leg. And like, this is his Roman empire. He keeps saying he'll never understand since I don't, he keeps saying I'll never understand since I don't work there, but it's actually giving me the ick. Makes me never want to have a child with him. If this is how we've used breaking your leg and being pregnant at the same time, it's, is this immaturity he will grow out of, or is this a serious red flag that he has no respect for women carrying children? Please help. I'm a concerned. I'm concerned. I'm concerned. I'm concerned.
Exo, a fellow girly who would like to have a few babies. She has a typo. I'm concerned, period.
Oh, I'm concerned, period. XO, a fellow girly who would like to have a few babies one day. Okay, so I think it could really easily be either like immature until you go through it or your partner goes through it. You have no idea like what the woman's body goes through. And obviously these female prison guards are just being so amazing in their pregnancies that you don't even realize how much they're going through it. Or it's just like a complete lack of sensitivity. And this is a red flag thing.
I know because obviously like they're getting to sit at the front desk because you know being on your feet all day is a tough job but also you know there is a level of risk with being like a prison guard and if you're carrying a baby you want to minimize that risk so you know putting them in solitary with the crazies like that's also not good so the fact that he's
The fact that he can't see that, like it's a little concerning for sure. I don't think he like hates pregnant women. He might just be like selfish and immature 100%. I need to know more about the relationship. Like is he generally a selfish person? Is he selfish and immature in other areas? That's only something you can really evaluate. I can't believe someone could see a pregnant prison guard and think anything and like want to give them more work. Yeah, and then like make it about themselves and their broken leg. Yeah. Sounds like a baby.
So it does really sound like immaturity. It does. However, it's not a good look. No, but I do often think even like myself, like maybe things I used to think or say about like a pregnant person. I remember actually the first time I ever, ever got like any sort of backlash online before I really had even a platform. I was at a doctor's office and there was like a person like breastfeeding like right in front of me. And I remember tweeting like.
people who breastfeed in public, like, can you not? Oh my God. Like the breastfeeding association of America. Like everybody, like I got like so canceled for this dumb tweet. And now like, now that's something I vehemently disagree with. Like whip a titty out, whip a titty out. Like I love it. I want to see more. In a doctor's office, that's actually a great place to do it. It might be.
It might not have been a doctor's office. It was like a waiting room for something. Maybe a doctor, but I feel like no. Regardless, that's something I vehemently disagree with now. Like I'm learned and more evolved than that. So it's entirely possible that like you just really don't get these things when it pertains to like motherhood and whatever until you experience it yourself or you know someone who does. Yeah, I really do feel that way. And I think doubly so for men.
Even when their partner's going through it, like it takes them a minute to get it. Yes. I actually just read a study that like most men, most partners like really don't connect with the baby in utero. And that's like totally normal not to be like, you know, some men like want to lay on your belly and talk to the baby. And like if they don't like that's OK. That doesn't make them a bad partner. It's just it's almost virtually impossible for them to biologically connect. Yeah. Until the baby is earth side. Yeah. Yeah.
Their lives don't change at all until you have a baby. Yeah, maybe they got to get you a few extra sodas. But that's how your life's changing. I actually remember the conversation I had with Ben when he realized his life would not have to change at all. When we were first having the conversations about starting to try and I was talking about how I need to get off of Zempik and all these things I needed to do before we could really even start. And he's like, okay, what do I need to do? And I was like, nothing. A lot of nothing. He was like, wait, I really don't have to do anything different? I'm like, no.
yeah and he was like I could see like he didn't want to like rub it in my face he was just like that's great well now there is this initiative I've been seeing a lot of reels in my algorithm of like men getting into the best shape they possibly could before they inseminate you yes yes because a lot of your um health during pregnancy just like how you feel is directly correlated to the health of the sperm and the male the male partner and like the sperm quality is affected by their lifestyle choices and yes it affects your pregnancy but it also could affect your ability to get pregnant so like
People are now, now the movement is like men should spend 10 months getting into the best shape of their lives. And then you spent, and working hard, eating right, working out, and then you spend 10 months being pregnant. So that kind of like balances the scales. Not at all because they're becoming like slender September, but it's something. Yeah.
I also saw a TikTok that I've been thinking a lot about recently. And this girl was like, I feel like we talk about like pretty privilege. We talk about skinny privilege. We talk about like all these different privileges, but we really don't talk about like partner privilege and what that means to like live a life and like build a family with somebody who's like an actual partner. And now of course there's partner privilege. Like it's a privilege to have a partner in general as opposed to not having one. But there's also a difference between like having like a partner and a partner who actually contributes and helps and is an equal, if not more load bearing individual. Yeah.
And so when you're thinking about who you're going to have kids with, like, it's actually really true. You have to have pretty considerable standards for yourself in terms of like what you want your future to look like. So I feel like you're not being dramatic to the girl who's writing in about like being concerned about it, but it could be nothing. Yeah. Yeah.
But is it partner privilege? Like if it's something that you can choose, right? And everyone has the same more or less. Maybe, okay, maybe privilege isn't the right word, but I knew what she was saying. No, it is like, it's an important thing to think about who your partner is. And it will change the quality of your life and your experiences. What do you think about the struggles of the first year of having a baby, right? Like the difference in A, doing it alone, B, doing it with a partner who sucks and C, doing it with like an equal 50%.
Well, 50-50, as much as it can be 50-50. A 50-50 husband, like, it's not even a question how different those three things are. Yeah. And it is a privilege, the third. Yeah. But it's also choices. Right. No, it's also something you hopefully can control. Now, of course, some things are after control. No, and also some people pull the wool over your eyes. Well, yeah. That's the most evil. Yeah. So...
If you feel like this guy in other areas is like not a selfish person, this is just him being immature. Maybe he doesn't know anyone who's had a baby. Yeah. You're okay. He could have a past. But maybe keep an eye out. Yeah. All right, next up. Oh, this one was really crazy and weird. Okay. Hi, Jackie and Claudia. Lately, my husband has gotten very into SPH. Do you know what that is, Jackie? No. It's small penis humiliation.
And I don't know how to handle it. Out of nowhere, he started asking me to roast him. Like, we'll be watching TV and he'll randomly go, babe, tell me it's tiny. At first, I just ignored it. I thought he was joking. But he's literally not. He wants this. He's a husband. He keeps bringing it up.
He keeps bringing it up. Yes. And now it's all I can think about. And here's where it gets worse. I think he's gotten in my head because I swear I never thought his penis was small before. He's a little less than five inches hard, which I also thought like always was fine. But now I'm not so sure. The other day he got out of the shower and I saw it. It was like a two inch turtle retreating into its shell. I really just squinted and now I can't unsee it. And honestly, I think I'm
Right.
he sounds like you guys are a match made in heaven because he wants to be humiliated and being told he has a small penis and you actually think he has a small penis so it sounds like you're the only woman who can really give him what he wants I feel like you need to tell him that you didn't know he had a small penis until he's now making so much of it I okay I have to be honest I don't understand like anything about this me neither and I want to say something about penis size if I may I know we don't really talk about this but don't worry I'm not gonna get graphic I'm I'm sad I
I feel like we have this fixation on penis size. Now of course I'm not talking about people who are born with micro penises or the opposite. - Extremes, you're not talking about the extremes. - I'm just talking about a penis. A penis is what you make it. It's also the connection and the person. I know I feel like I sound like Ben has the tiniest penis. That's what I'm making.
And I'm not, I swear to God. But I see people like, especially like dating people. Or you sound like someone, like he has a big penis so you can't relate to the issues of women with a small penis. And you're like, it's fine. That's fine. I promise that's not what I'm saying. But like, I see a lot of people talking about this like on podcasts and influencers who do like dating and sex and relationships. And there's this like fixation on penis size where it's like,
I don't know. I feel like it's a little bit of shallow. It's almost like how I feel about looks, right? Everybody is good looking if you love them, you know? Yeah. And I also feel like if you're monogamous and you're in a relationship with someone for a long time, especially if you're married, it's not like you're seeing other penises that this one's bigger. Yours is small compared to it's big. Like that's just your penis. That's the one that you have. What is five inches? Like-
Is that like a definitely have a tape measure? Five inches is small. Like do you think this cup is five inches? You're kidding. Oh, measure your phone. Okay. Like how many inches is your phone? Let's get to work ladies. Why the fuck do you have a tape measure? Because we did so many renovations and I was measuring, bringing up my computer. Okay. My phone. Oh my gosh is six. Oh, okay. So a little bit smaller than your phone. Yeah. Like, yeah, I see. I see.
If you're measuring from the bottom, go up to where the time is on your phone. Oh, like the bottom of the eight of 1138. Yeah. Like the bottom of your phone again, then 1138. Okay. I mean, that's really small.
but it's not, not workable. And it's like, well, how big is your vagina? Well, that's the other thing. I really feel a penis for every vagina. I completely agree. And if you like, do you have a tight, small little vagina? Then it sounds like you guys are a match made in heaven. And I just think there are other, like, I don't know. A big penis is like so lazy. I, again, I really sound like I'm married to somebody with a micro penis, but like, Oh, what? You have a big penis. You don't have to work as hard. Like I just,
I just feel like, let's say your man has a small penis. I feel like people don't talk about the downsides of BDE. Like lazy, hubris. Yeah, hubris. I don't even know what that means, but for sure. Like cocky. You know, but I also mean when it comes to intimacy, you don't feel like you have to do anything because you got this big penis. Yeah. A big penis can only do so much. Somebody with an average-sized penis really has to work a little bit harder. Okay, I see. That's five? That's five. That's not great.
But back to this girl's issue. I feel like my issue is not your problem here. No, it's SPH. Yeah, that's I don't want to kink shame. Of course, that's not they're not kinky. They're watching TV. I feel like there's something deeper going on with him psychologically that maybe we should explore. Yeah, and it has nothing to do with you.
And you're kind of letting his psychosis get to you because you're like thinking and feeling and I couldn't do it. Like if I were you, I couldn't do it. And all of a sudden I have to be a comedian roasting you coming up with these zingers about your penis. Like, excuse me. So you're like, I work full time. I'm busy going on. So you're like, you don't need this on your plate unless you were enjoying it. No. And she's not. And that's weird. Like his. This is fine. You know, it's the SPH. That's an issue.
Oh, I guess I didn't choose the one about drugs. Do you want to see any other measurements? Oh, um. Because what's the standard that they say? Doesn't everyone say they have eight? I feel like. Is that like the joke? Let me ask. Hold on. Ask Google Gemini. What's the average size penis in America? The average size erect penis in the U.S. is five and a half to six inches in length.
Then also you have to consider girth. They say four and a half to five inches in girth. Oh, so our roast of five was nothing. Wait, you just need to show your man this. He has an average-sized penis. Sorry to break it to him. She said, by the way, it's under five. So maybe he's like an inch under. But still, you're just above the average. Like you're what, 40th percentile? Like sorry, you're not special. And are people really measuring their penises? I feel like it's something that... You do in like high school? Yeah, you do once and you know you're...
So like doesn't everyone joke that they have eight though? Isn't that, I guess that's why it's funny. Cause that's like. Yeah, that's like a piece of salami. We should teach sex ed. We should. I would just say to this girl, like I wouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with. Break up with him. They're married. Our third and final is not the one. I thought I chose the drug one. Maybe I decided not to. It was basically this girl like texted her coworker, like asking where she could get some blow. And she texted the wrong coworker.
and she had a pit about it, and then she texted the right coworker, and the right coworker was like, "Sorry, I don't do that." And I just wanted to tell her, no shame, have fun, but if you're texting your coworkers for drugs, you might have a problem. - You're in a bad spot, and you're texting two of them. - Right. But that's not the one I, I guess I did just do it, but we're not doing it. - Yeah. - Hey, Swirlies, my fiance is a P-Chomp. He's starting to give me the major icks, though. Last time we got into a fight, he slapped himself in the face and said, "You're so stupid," to himself. - Oh my God.
To be clear, this was not done in a joking manner. His face was bright red and he was dead serious. It was very weird and it gave me a weird feeling and I almost want to end it. Help. I just want to say this is one of the situations where I feel like we're always talking about like ick culture. This is not an ick. Ick is like when you see somebody, you know, wearing a backpack and it makes them look weird. Like this is actually alarming behavior. Like self-harm. It's fucking weird. You're right to be put off. Now,
Like, it's hard to really end your life and start a new one over like something someone did over two seconds. It's a window though into potentially. But now you need to like really look at the really, like was everything else perfect? Like I just feel like, and he never did this before. This feels like something that's like,
Definitely a trauma response. Yeah. I also think people who do this like maybe do other weird concerning things. Like is there anything else to this girl that comes to mind? Yeah. But I don't know what makes someone do this. But maybe it's like as a little kid they were like abused. Like and every time they do something wrong they like hit them. I don't know. So there's –
something you should bring it up to him if you're having trouble figuring out like what you want to do about it you should be like when you did this the other day like what is that what does that come from like that really worried me oh that's good yeah we can talk about it now like now that things are talking to your partner I guess but sometimes somebody does something so weird like you just have to leave there's nothing that needs to be said
yeah like I've seen what I needed to see and I need to never see you again because like this what this guy did like I feel sorry for him I don't know why that's my like because it's not like he went and he hit you like right I feel sorry for him and it's maybe indicative of like a deeper issue he deserves care yeah he needs like nurturing at this moment not abandonment however you got to look out for number one
even if you're going to leave him and look out for number one, give him a conversation. Like, because maybe then he'll realize like, Oh, I have all these things going on. I wasn't ready for a relationship. I need to work on myself. Like I have a lot of things that I need to unpack it. What are you telling me? Like that thing you did, like it really scared me. What is that? Yeah. I think we could just like talk directly. Don't be judgmental. Be like, that was really weird of you. No, just be like that. Don't do what we have done. No,
- No, that's why we do it here. Get out our judgment so that you can handle it, put your best foot forward and just be like, it made me sad and worried for you. Like, where does that come from? Like, why do you do that? - I just didn't realize people do this like outside of SVU. Do you know what I mean? It's such a thing you do in the interrogation room. - Yeah, like stupid. - You're banging your head against the wall. - Yeah, it's not 100%. - No, it's self harm. - Yeah, it's like a child's response.
Is it? I don't know. You're so stupid. I don't know. No, it's a mental ill thing. No, I'm good. What kind of person? Slut. I don't want to know. Just talk to him. Something therapy can fix. Yeah, it seems like a textbook case. For a therapist. But I don't know what the textbook is called, but I know there's a book about it. 100%.
Guys, that's our show. Thank you to everybody who wrote into your toasters and everybody who listened to the end of this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed listening to it as much as we enjoyed making it. And Jackie's measuring what? Twelve. Twelve. That's insane. Yeah. Like, I honestly, I think I'd rather have a micropenis. Right. Yeah, because that's pain. But the vagina is adjustable. I mean, that's true. Yeah. So. But you want to have a baby every night? No.
Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast on Monday Morning Show. We did it fast. We should talk about penises more. Like, we're so funny. We are so funny. Like, an untapped conversation for us. I know. If we ever, but just know. But not too much, really. Like, it's special when it's once in a while. But just know, if this show ever becomes, like, overtly sexual all the time, it means we've officially run out of things to talk about. Yeah, we're desperate. Yeah, lonely women.
Thank you so much for listening to the Tesla Monday Morning Show where we deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found. So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Video, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where you'll be listening to podcasts. Find us at Toast, leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Hope you have an amazing Tuesday and we'll see you tomorrow for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap and a gorgeous Pargy hump day. Love ya. Bye.