Eras Tour (Jackie's Version): Monday, October 21st, 2024
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Good morning, millennials! And welcome back to The Toast. And happy Monday that truly feels like a Monday because we have things in which to complete. To complete, to discuss. We had a very long and vibrant weekend, which is so par-gy-licious. However, the Monday that follows is...

is the opposite of pargylicious. It's kind of cause and effect, you know? Like, you can't have one without the other. Call the home air. We have a busy day today. Bruno's vomiting on the chair. Is he okay? Brewy Louie, what'd you get, huh? You got mother's love. We have so much to get into today. We do. Obviously, you know, after a weekend. So let's keep talking about how much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of actually talking about the things, why don't we just talk about how many things there are? Yeah. Well, there are so many things. Like, things...

There are, you know, things in which to discuss, of course, the stories, but Jackson, I went to the era store. Now for me, that's obviously not a big deal. I'm kind of a regular Friday night for you. I'm kind of a regular, but after literally six years and not one single spoiler, Jackie, I finally went to the era store. I did. So where would you like me to place my recap? Cause our first story today, like is era store Miami recap, um, at a glance. Cause she did do other shows that we weren't at and other things happened. Um,

- I think we should just do it at the top of the show. People are really dying. I'm literally getting tagged in TikToks being like, I cannot wait to hear Jackie's thoughts. - Do you wanna talk about the other things that we have to do today?

Because you, like, teased all this stuff. No, no, I really was, like, kind of talking about the one thing. Actually, there are some other things we need to do today. The Heiress Tour recap, the Fast Five stories, we watched a movie together this weekend. Oh, I don't even want to call it a movie because it's disgraceful to other films. So there is a movie that I've been seeing around that's, like, slowly gotten a cult following. I think it's getting a sequel. I think we might have even talked about it on The Toast by a director who's doing The Housemaid. And I was like...

Everything about this movie seems like I would love it. It's based on a book. We watched A Simple Favor. It's also like a famous... There's like a lot of lore around it because apparently like Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick like fucking hated each other. They had the worst experience together. Like two divas. And there's a lot of like Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick like rumors that started from that movie. So it's just like...

important that we saw it like for research purposes the movie was the craziest thing we ever saw in a bad way it was it was such a bad movie that maybe that's what makes it good it wasn't a real movie it by the way I'm now worried about the housemaid first of all

Because like there was clear, I don't know who to blame most for the movie. Like, because whoever wrote the script, like is definitely on my list, but like she always Blake Lively. The only person honestly not on my list was Anna Kendrick. Like she did a really good job, but the director is definitely on my list. Like, and so knowing that he's going to have a hand in the house made that definitely gives me. And it's like, I think it's a similar, I'm sure if I read a simple favor, I would have liked it. Cause it was probably like a good thriller with a twist.

the house made the same and maybe he has a way of ruining thrillers. Now we're not here to recap a simple favor before the hour is toward that. But just like, it's important for you to know we are two girls sitting here who have seen the movie, a simple favor. And let me just say this about a simple favor. Like I've never seen a movie where they had to like so many times intentionally like say the title of the movie in the script. Like, Hey, Anna Kendrick, I need a favor. Yes.

A simple favor. It's like, okay, we get it. The movie's called A Simple Favor. She said it like four times. Right. It was really, really awful. Like, I cannot recommend enough running the other way. Ben Soffer, like, I was watching the movie actually getting, like, physically angry. Yeah. Blake Levy was really pissing me off. I was just really confused. Like, I really wanted it to be good, and then when it wasn't, I was like, maybe it's not good on purpose to really throw us off, but it just turned out to be, like, a whole steaming pile of shit. Yeah, Jackie thought, like, at first they were playing a trick on us with how bad the movie was. Yeah, yeah, I really, really did.

So that's just, that was another thing. That was like a post-Eros tour recovery night. Oh my gosh, yeah. We decided to stay in and watch a film. Okay, so Eros tour. I guess herein lies my recap. Herein lies the recap. We went to Hard Rock Stadium, Miami, Florida. It's one hell of a drug. Friday night, night one of three for Taylor. Right, we went with our friend Margo Lewin, not to be confused with our sister. Right. And we had a really pargy evening. Like, it was... We planned it really well. We did plan it really well. We were very, like...

time-oriented. I got to see Gracie a little bit of Gracie Abrams. Yeah, she was actually really good. I didn't care to be there for her. I actually like a lot of her music, but not enough to get there two hours early. I was happy that she was our opener, not like Phoebe Waller-Bridges. Phoebe Waller-Bridges, yeah. And it was someone who I've been enjoying, so that was cool. And it was someone who was so happy to be there and having so much fun. Yeah. And she's literally gargy. Gargy. Gargy.

Delicious. And then the Lerd came out. The Lerd did come out. 8 o'clock on the dot. Very timely. 8 o'clock on the dot. Put on a three and a half hour show. We didn't even start.

stay for the whole thing because I think the whole time we were really worried about like the crowds and getting home and walking to the lot so we left at the end of secret surprise songs we always said like we would leave a few songs early but the night was just like getting so long and like your girls are grandmas well that's the thing I don't like I don't know if I'm just a true grandma but it was a very very long show you are a true grandma but let me say this I I

And now this is my fourth time going to the Aris tour. Like I said, the last couple of times I went, I was 28. I'm 30 now. And I definitely felt it. Like I, I was like at points like really not okay. It's also hot. That was, I think the first. I thought the weather was amazing. Oh, and it was raining by the way. It was raining, but where our seats were, there was an overhang at hard rock stadium. Shout out Miami's got it all figured out. We didn't even know it was raining. And then we look at the screen. We just like see on the screen there's rain, but we, maybe I got a drop here or there. It was actually a nice reprieve. Yeah. It, it,

It was the first time I really felt it on my body. You know, I was like, wow, I'm old. And I'm like one of those people. I'm older. I know pretty much every song. So I'm not taking major breaks. I think there are some people who aren't into Evermore and they sit for that section. So they get to like refuel or they go to the bathroom and get a snack. Like,

There really is no timeouts. There's no breaks for true Swifties. So like it was, I obviously kept thinking like, I'm not even doing anything. I'm sitting here like being a spectator. I can only imagine the person who's actually doing all the work, like how she's feeling inside and then having to do it three nights in a row. But this was the first time that I've been that I seriously was like, oh my God, I can't take it. Like my body was seriously not okay. Yeah. So that was like really shocking. And the next day we were like all, it was like a narcoleptic household. It was like we were all hung over. Falling asleep.

Everyone throughout the day was napping on the couch. It was just like a hungover day. Yeah, and it was raining. Oh, I could not have drank. We could not have drank. No, it was just because we had to drive and like it extended the whole journey. We had like an hour, hour and a half ride there. Like it extended it. We really were being very mindful of our energy levels and just like overall wellness. Yeah, we were conservationists. And we didn't want to go to the bathroom. That was another thing. So like we were really just being like we had –

really healthy meals on the way there. We had Caesar wraps. Like we were trying to really like seriously fueling up for like a triathlon. Yeah. No, that is what it was. So the show itself was really so beautiful. I mean, Taylor really puts on a jolly good show. And to be clear, like you have seriously seen nothing. No, I mean, I've seen like when you went, like I've seen vignettes, but like, um,

There were a bunch of stuff that are clear, like big parts of the show that I hadn't seen. During so high school when Taylor did her like Archer thing that Travis's move when he like makes a touchdown, Taylor does that now. Jackie pinched me so hard. I was like, what? Cause I knew it. No, but I think I've seen a video of her do that, but I thought maybe she did it just one time. And then she's, by the way, right before that, you guys, I feel like sometimes like the Easter eggs are right in front of our face and nobody's looking at them. But like right before that, she's saying like, I'm having his baby. Yeah.

Archer. I think they're welcoming a baby via surrogate. That was the Easter egg that Jackie took away from the Arrestor. Yeah, there were a lot of Easter eggs in our show, which we'll get to also like in the first story recap, like the rep changing, whatever. So overall, like the show is a feat, really. Like it's the greatest show on earth right now. Like no one's doing anything like it. It's the greatest show on earth. Nobody's like working harder than the Lurd. Mm-hmm.

However, like I want to go era by era because not all eras were the same for me. And the way I felt about certain eras actually surprised me and wouldn't have been what I thought I would feel. Yes, it was interesting to see it through Jackie's eyes and really like remind me of the first time that I saw it where you're so surprised that like a some eras are so long, some are so short. It's really surprised at the song selection and then the total lack of debut. Like, right. That's like something people were talking about three years ago. But let's talk about it now. I did not.

Need debut. What's funny is like as a Swifty, I think I love Taylor. I always listen to whatever new album I know. And the thing is like, I know every lyric to every song that she sang. I probably loved her music the most, even though you guys know I love it so much now, but I probably loved it the most in like the fearless speak now era.

Like those songs raise me. You belong with me. Like literally is in my DNA. And that was, I think like one of the best. It's in me as at a cellular level. That was, I think one of the best songs to experience with you. Like that song is so Oshrae family coded. Yes. However, those early eras were actually my least favorite. Oh, that's.

Oh, that's so interesting. Of the tour, you mean? Of the tour. And I'm going to put Lover in there too. Because, and then this is also like, I guess a small issue that I have. We always say how like her singles are not even close to the favorite songs on the album, but it doesn't matter. You listen to the album, listen to what you want. Okay, so we didn't get a music video. No, but like her most popular songs are not.

are not, in my opinion, her best songs. No, but she chooses what's going to be most popular because she makes them singles, which never really bothered me because like, I'll just listen to what I want to listen to. And I didn't get a music video and she's not performing at the VMAs. Okay, I'll live. However, it affected the ERAs tour because those were the songs that she was singing to represent the ERAs. Yeah, especially Red.

Red, yeah. The fact that we don't get State of Grace or Holy Ground. We did not get Starlight after all. And instead we get like Trouble, 22. We are never getting back together. Not my favorites. And it also affected me during Lover because I feel like we always talk about how Lover is so underrated. But like the songs that we love like Paper Rings, Cornelia Street, like she doesn't sing. And instead she sings like The Man and You Need to Calm Down. Yeah. Which are like two kind of insufferable songs. Okay.

Okay. I'm glad she sang Miss Americana and the Heartbaked Prince. Yep. Cruel Summer. And Cruel Summer. Those were two, the strong ones out of Lover. And she sang Lover, which like, I like, but it's not... A favorite. Not an absolute favorite. No, that's the thing. When you're on a tour like of this magnitude, like you can't really be choosing the set list for like your diehard fans. Like it's really too...

to the masses because it's 100,000 people. No, but it would be weird also if she was doing an era and didn't sing the lead single off the era. Just because we all personally, and we all have different faves, so she's singing the singles from those albums, and that makes sense, but it's like, oh, those weren't my favorites, and I actually didn't get my favorites. Yeah, yeah. So that was something I had to contend with and not something I foresaw being an issue. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And I feel like when you asked me what surprise songs I wanted to hear, I couldn't even answer you because I just thought she played every song, and I was like,

I couldn't, but now I know exactly, now I know exactly what songs I didn't get to hear that I wanted to hear. Which was? Like Holy Ground, State of Grace. I did hear Holy Ground, Night 2 of My Life. Yeah, I know. And then also, we have to talk about our surprise songs.

So what surprised me was that the eras that I liked the most aren't even the albums necessary that I like the most, but I just love the energy that she brought to them. So reputation was probably my favorite era. I agree. I also think, and you said this during the show, which was such a poignant analysis is like, it's really the most performance friendly album. She's really like giving it her all.

all in terms of like vocals, dancing. It's the most, and you're coming off of like all the folklore Evermore era and it's just so upbeat. It's so good. Yeah, and like the emotions and reputation are like so real and raw that like you can really feel it. She's still mad. Like it's just so like genuine and raw.

Also the beats in it and like I feel like Look What You Made Me Do is actually such a good song that like I missed out on enjoying when it first came out but later in life after I did like a Reputation themed SoulCycle class I really understood how great it is. I had the same exact experience where like up until I saw I just fucking love that song. The Errors Tour I thought Look What You Made Me Do was like an actual bad song. Yeah. And then seeing it live like you're like holy shit like it's so good. I agree the Reputation era and you know I'm actually not a Reputation girl. Right. I think the Reputation era is sublime.

Like it's really plays so well. It's so strong. It has such a distinct point of view. And like, and I loved that. And then I also really loved TTPD because again, like I felt like the emotions, like even when she's like literally losing her mind screaming, who's afraid of little old me, like I'm there. I'm in it. Completely agree. That was my first time seeing TTPD. It was longer than I expected. Cause you really realized she put out this big, she's not going to do like a TTB detour. Like this is really it. So it got like a full, I would say it was probably one of the longer ones. Um, a couple of songs I don't think she needed to play down bad, but people,

Love Down Bad. That's so crazy to me. I know. It's so crazy to me too. But I love that she did Who's Afraid of Little Omi. But Daddy, I love him. So high school. And I could do it with a broken heart. Exactly. Those four are necessary. I loved, loved, loved that set. And I actually, you know, inspired by you. I tried not to watch so many TTPD videos. Like I wanted to just enjoy it like kind of fresh. So I really did not know what to expect. And I thought it was excellent. And I thought the song choices like were probably the best of all the eras. Like I think that.

She did a good job. Oh, and she did Fortnite and she did Florida. And I wonder if everyone's going to get Florida with, because we had Florence and the other nights had Florence too. Or did we just get Florida because we're in Florida and you have to sing Florida. But it's such a good song to sing live. Like it's so underrated. And I think we all like all pretty much like felt Florence in the building. And it was still like so exciting to see. I love that song. Yeah. And that felt like really special.

It did feel really special. And enjoying the TTD set so much, which felt more like its own concert, made me actually get excited for whatever's next for Taylor that's not Eris. Because you keep saying, how is she ever going to end Eris? Yeah.

It actually made me excited for a day when we get a concert that's like focused on a singular album. Like what we should have gotten, but we didn't because of COVID. No, even a Folklore Evermore concert would have been like such a Pargy vibe. Yeah, good experience. You know, so it made me excited for the future because like that chunk felt like just a standalone concert. And it was so strong, like to be in one cohesive era. Yeah.

Yes, I agree. And I happen to have loved the, and I love TTPD. So I felt like she really did it justice. Yeah. In that moment. I felt so as well. Then my probably, I always, I have so many favorite albums. Even I just said it was Fearless. Yeah, you did. And it's also Red, but it's also 1989. I mean, 1989 is a bop factory. It is. It's so, so good. And you know, I've had a recent renaissance with Shake It Off. Yes. Of course it came out and I thought it was like, why is this the lead single? Yeah.

And then I saw a video of it at ERAs when like the VIP tent was popping off on that. And then like it's come up a few times. It's played in the car because it's actually a really good kid song. I think they cover it in sing. And I just like have fallen in love with the song again. And that was such a highlight. All of the 1989 songs are just so fun. You guys, Jackie was seriously being Prince William. Someone commented that on Claudia's TikTok. And that is a fair assessment. No, but it was so...

Like you and actually like no shade to anyone. Like I did use Shake It Off as a break song. Like I did take a seat. Like I was really tired. We had two completely different experiences during Shake It Off. Jackie's losing her mind, like pure joy. And I'm seriously like heavy breathing. I mean, that's so fair. That's us during Folklore and Evermore. Yeah. Oh, during Folklore and Evermore. Which I love them as albums, but I did use it as a time to sit. My boots were made of crap. I might've been walking on like actual cardboard.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were broken. I had such a different experience going with you. I don't know if it had to do with you or the fact that the show has changed so much. Like the order is completely different. So many songs got cut. She also did this thing where instead of cutting some songs, she really shortened them where she just like skipped over the second verse, which I actually thought was a smart idea. Yeah, she did like first verse, chorus, bridge, chorus. Yeah. Beautiful.

Which I enjoyed. Some of my faves did get cut, which was disappointing. Like? The Archer. I would have liked that. And it was like one of the best parts of the Lover era. Like I really, I enjoyed it a lot. But I had such a different, like high, you know, certain songs that stick out to you randomly that you enjoy so much. And for me, You Belong With Me, like I seriously was having the time of my life. It was so good. For me, The Fearless Era is like my favorite. I wish it was longer. Same with Speak Now. Speak Now is now one song enchanted. Yeah, I don't know why she cut out Long Live.

So I've never seen Long Live. I've seen the show four times. Why won't she perform Long Live? What's the beef? So at first it was that Speak Now Taylor's version hadn't come out. But the second it did, she added it to the set list. I just want to say, her not playing Long Live kind of like backs up my theory that the song is about Joe Jonas.

- Wow, not about the fans. - Right, you know that I think it's about the time that she sang with the Jonas Brothers and it's like we were the kings and the queens and now that like Joe has been so like disgraced and like all this stuff, like he was not a good- - Out of loyalty to- - Like I think that's- - That's honestly not a bad call. - It's as good as theory as any because otherwise why? - It doesn't make sense because the Errors Tour is a celebration of her and her fans and her music and that song we thought is also. - For her to get all dressed for the era to only play one song, like also doesn't make sense. - No, it makes no sense.

Like I'm offended by like the skipping, the erasure of Speak Now and Fearless. The erasure. And I would have wanted Dear John. I know I'll never get it. No, you'll never. But for Fearless, she does Fearless, You Belong With Me and Love Story. Like it's not enough. Yeah. You need forever and always. We do.

And that's the way you loved me? Is that fearless? That is fearless. We needed that. That's the way I love you. But then again, it's like those early eras like didn't hit for me as much as the later ones. Yeah. So maybe I didn't need more of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Red was really good. I really, I didn't expect to be so moved by like the hat to the child. No, by the way, I could have seen you being obsessed with that. Like it's so, and that's really what we were, like we were looking around, like it was just so cute. No, you couldn't cry. Like the girls and the kids.

I can't even talk about it. They were like... It was so sweet and so precious and like so joyous and like positive that like her doing that, like it's her doing the hat to like a little girl or a little kid. Like it's so... Little girl. It's so emblematic, if you will, of the whole experience. Like there were so many little girls there just like... You know what? I actually wanted to talk about that. So tell me... I didn't say anything. I did not say anything. How could you? You can't say anything, but we could talk about it on the show. But there was...

A daughter and mom in front of me. And the daughter, how old do you think she was? Nine or ten? Like she wasn't tiny. I'm not good. Me neither. Actually, maybe younger. Okay, but she was tall. Like she was like at least like. Eight. I'm saying eight. I think eight is fair. And the eight-year-old girl stood on her chair the entire time.

Right in front of me. And by the way, like she, I'm not super tall. Which made her like taller than her mother. Yes. Like then she was like a basketball player. But if she's on the floor, she can't see anything. But that's literally not my problem. Like. Yeah. And what am I going to be like a big grown ass woman yelling at a kid at the arrest court? But like, I was just like, this is wrong. But is it? You know, I don't, I don't know what the, what the right, I think she could have taken breaks from standing, but it was the entire time. Yeah.

I did not say anything, but I did want to bring it up on the show as just like a question mark. Well, she's not the only eight-year-old there, so what were the other kids doing? Right, right.

Do the kids just stand on the chair the whole time? But I think if you're young enough and small enough to stand on the chair and be like the same height or shorter than your mom, like I'm not offended. Right, right. But if you're beaming over your mom, like. And all of a sudden you're like Amari Stoudemire. Scram! Like it was like, it was really annoying, but I didn't say anything. I just like was bobbing and weaving around her. Yeah. But yes, not to like make it positive and negative. The little kids were so sweet. And that moment is just so pure. That's like the real essence of like the fandom and like Taylor. Like I think she knows her influence always on young girls and like

I loved it. Yeah. That was really cute. The energy. What other eras have we not. You didn't get into your thoughts on a surprise song. Cause I know you were like deeply unhappy with that. Like, like I just, I was robbed of my joy. No. So like at first it's so personal. She starts playing a tune. I'm like,

Whatever it is, I know it. Yeah. And it's Tim McGraw. And like, if you told me like, if you tried to gauge my opinion, like that Tim McGraw would be your surprise. I'm gonna be like, but like considering I knew it and I was excited to hear a song I knew great. Cause then she mashed up into timeless, which is a vault track that I don't know. Yeah. I was surprised you didn't know that. That one is like a big hit. Like that was a, that was a good get, you know that.

You know that I'm not like super into vault tracks unless they're from 1989. I do know that about you. And I look so forward to reputation vault tracks. Me too, me too. But like vault tracks prefrontal lobe, I don't really. You don't fuck with. I understand that. That's fair. So she played Timeless, which sounded like a poverty song. I just like couldn't get involved. And then she played. This is me trying. From. It's. X.

What did she mash it with? What did she mash it with? It's on my story if I need to go look. Yeah. By the way, that's the thing. I was hoping we weren't going to get a mashup, but we did. We got two. But you know what? Considering like, you know, you could get kind of screwed. I was glad it increased our odds. It's true, by the way. Instead of two songs, you're really getting four. Oh, this is me trying X Daylight, which is a song that I love. Yeah, Daylight, like,

So I wouldn't say we got, it's so personal by the way. Like someone. I'm sorry. The other night got Lommel X White Horse, which I texted you when TTPD came out and I said, do people say Lommel sounds like White Horse? And they got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's not right. They got it. Well, it's so personal. And I got Timeless. So I think that some people would hear this and be like, I can't believe you got those songs. Those are my dream songs. Like it's, I mean, everyone knows like MetLife, Night One, like,

We won. Like if there ever was a time. What was it? It was full songs. So it was just two songs and it was Getaway Car and Maroon. Like we won. Oh, Maroon's not for me. Here's songs that I would have liked to hear. Okay. Snow on the Beach. The Great War.

Bigger than the whole sky, which I know is a lot to sing. You know, some people did think that she was going to sing that. It's one of her songs like about grief and death. And perhaps you would do it as a nod to Liam Payne. So there was like theories that that was space for that. There was space for that. Gold Rush. Agreed. Holy Ground. State of Grace. State of Grace. Like seriously means the world to me. And you know, at the top of the red era, they kind of tease it. Yeah. And then that's the state of grace. That's all we get. State of Grace.

That's all we get. She like opens a trunk and it plays. And it's so fucking good. Oh, we didn't talk about ATWTMB. What about, oh, ATWTMB was the highlight of the show. Agreed. She could go on a tour called ATWTMB and play it 30 times and do a three hour show of ATWTMB. And that would be enough for me dying you. I completely agree. It was pargy. It's so fucking good. The song is not long enough. The song is not long enough. It is.

It is such a good song. And I love that there's no one else on stage, no drama. I don't even think that there's like graphics. It's just her and she's like lifted in this big red coat and they throw confetti that looks like leaves during the fall scenes and then confetti that looks like snow during the winter scenes. I like no, no. It was snow on the beach. Correct. Correct.

No notes. That was, and that really makes the red arrow one of the best arrows because we have that. Agreed. Like it was really, and she moved it up. When I first saw it, it was like much later in the show, but I think it's, it's so good for morale. Yeah.

It is good for morale. And then I guess the only thing else that we didn't talk about is Evermore Folklore, really. Which was majorly condensed and really made into one. They used to be completely separate eras. They're made into one. As they should be. It's like a similar vibe. Well, only people who don't understand the album say that. They're sisters. That's like you and I should be one. No, we shouldn't. We're individuals. We are Evermore and Folklore. And Snitch is Woodville. Totally. I love Evermore and Folklore, but...

It was like more of a relaxation part for me. Did you think there were any songs in that era that particularly hit? Like, what did you think about My Tears Ricochet? Because it's like lauded as one of the most like best part of that era. When she's like walking down with like the funeral girlies behind her. Oh, yeah. Didn't... Like, I wasn't looking at like the lore as closely as everyone. Like, I couldn't even tell you they were walking down with the funeral. You know what I mean? And whose funeral is it? Like Scooter? Scott. Scott, sure, sure, sure. For me, I'm just like...

My tears ricochet.

Yeah. And then she played Kurt again. She played Kurt again. She played an abridged version of Betty. The last great American dynasty got the boot. Not fair to me. Agreed. I love that song. Not fair to everyone. Right. To human beings. I love that song. It's what's not to love. It's more than standing in your car again. Even though that's not card again. Betty, you know, it's not card. She kept August in there. I love the card again as much as I do. So true. And now we can relate. A hundred percent. She kept August, whichever one was excited about. That's a big hit. No,

No, it was really like par-jelicious. Par-jelicious. And then right after the last surprise song, we left to like hit the road early and beat the traffic. And we went through the Midnight set list, which were all songs that, and I love Midnight. Me too. But more than you, arguably. Yeah, no, I am having a Midnight's Renaissance. But the songs that she sings, and we could hear them as we were walking away. I was like, okay with the decision. The only song I would have really liked to hear was Masterpiece. Mastermind. Yeah, she loves it more than me. Masterpiece by Jessie J. Okay.

- But it was worth getting home at a reasonable hour. - Right, Midnight's is really for like the mainstream fans, like Bejeweled, Karma, Antihero, like no, give us Dear Reader, you know? - Give us Dear Reader. - And I had seen it many times and if, by the way, I heard people were stuck there for like two and a half hours trying to get out of the parking lot. - Yeah. - So I have no regrets about what we did. - Yeah, so me neither. That was the heiress tour.

Jackie's version. Jackie's version. Cute title. Cute title. Yeah, no, we had a fun Swirly's night out. It's a great night out for the girls. It is for the kids. I don't know how them kids were up till midnight. Like, I don't know.

Oh, to be young. To be young. We were such grandmas. We were like being particularly Granny Smith about it, but like we had to conserve. It was an endeavor. No, and Jackie had to like wake up and like be a mom. At least I was like literally laying in bed all day. Right. It was a very difficult Saturday. Yeah. It was. I mean, it's like we left early too. I really felt it. And then we were maybe going to go out to dinner Saturday night, but I was like, I can't have a Sunday like my Saturday was. Yeah. No, we seriously were like teenagers the next day, sleeping all throughout the day in different parts of the house. Yeah, like everyone like taking breaks, like.

It was just. It was crazy. It was crazy. But then we had a pargy Sunday because we conserved on Saturday. We had a big taco dinner on Saturday night. I made a turkey a pie. She made me a pie. I've been eating so good, you guys. Don't worry about me. Like, you can probably tell, like, I'm hiding under this blanket. I'm huge. Same. I'm literally huge, but I'm so happy. Like, it's fine. Well, I just have to cater to turds.

Yeah no And she's being catered to Like she's having meals From scratch She's really enjoying herself She is eating good In the neighborhood Last night we went out To dinner to a restaurant That had a kosher steak Like we Oh my god yeah We all went out For steak dinner last night You're seriously gonna have To roll me back to New York They're not gonna recognize me When I show up No same It's fine It's fine

It's fine. It's October. Tis the season. I'm just embracing my inner pumpkin. Tis the season as the lurd says. Oh, that got cut. I would have liked Christmas Tree Farm. Same. If there's any shows around the Christmas time, they'll probably get it. That's so sick and twisted. But at least I got Florida.

And there's a lot of Florida lore and TTPP for some reason. So like Fortnite. Oh my God. The way that the girls would scream every time like Taylor breathed. We didn't know if like people were cheering for something that happened or like something in their heads. They started screaming at the beginning of Fortnite. Like you could tell something was happening. And we were like asking everyone, what's going on? What's going on? Post Malone.

And we're like, oh, sick. Post Malone's here. And we kept looking for him. Narrator. Post Malone's not there. The whole crowd literally played themselves into thinking it was Usurper Dancer. That happened a couple times. Yes. It's really funny. You get so crazy. You really psych yourself out. There's so much going on, and you're just clowning the entire time. It's really crazy.

- It's true. Well, our first story is gonna be like other eras news, like Miami version, not Jackie's version. So we will find opportunities to talk more about the Lurd. - Yeah, and if you have like anything that you forgot. - The Lurd and the Lur. - The Lur of the Lurd. - And the Turd and the Lur. - The Turd and the Lurd. - And the Lur and the Lur. So now I think without further ado,

I mean, you tell me because this is your house. You make the rules. This is our house. We make the rules. Without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five

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It's embarrassing not to. Thank you, Turd. You're welcome. Our first story is Era's Miami Recap, the VIPs, the changes to the set. But also, I just realized, what were last night's surprise songs?

Oh, I just saw them on Liz Woods' story. Do you want me to pull them up? Yes, I do. I just need to know, like, I need to rub it in more to myself of what I didn't get. Wow, okay. Not to be such a nishvigina. You're being a nishvigina like an ingrate. I am, but I'm just like, I don't know. I just, it didn't go my way. Oh, this one was hard for me because they did Out of the Woods. X, all you had to do was stay. And then the second one was Marable. Okay. X, guilty of sin. Okay. That one doesn't do it for me. Okay, so night two was the night. Night two.

Night doing. Yeah. What was also with that night? The first one. Lommel Whitehorse. And what was the first one? I just closed Instagram. Okay, let me open that. Sorry, sorry. Go to that page. Yeah, back to Liz P. Wood's story. Find the page. Sparkle graphics. Sparkle cookies. TS tour tips. That's the page. TS tour tips. Oh, also what else is on there? Because I did want to know who was in the VIP tent all the nights.

Yes, there was two VIP tents. There were a lot of celebrities there. Not all of them were in tents. Night two was should have said no, X, I did something bad. That's cute. I like that.

Night one, like we need to talk about the fact that Luke Combs was at the heiress tour. Luke Combs was at the heiress tour, which is so crazy. Because obviously- Because Luke Combs does a lot of things, but he is a husband, you know? And like, I'm sure his wife was like, listen, get me and the girlies tickets. Like you can come, you don't have to, but like we'd love to have you. And he was like, you know what? I can do that. Like, let me get it for my girl. Yeah. And so he was like sat there for three hours at the heiress tour. And-

I need to know his thoughts. You know, my ass was looking for him. Like, so our section was right behind the VIP tent. That's like Taylor's VIP tent. That's where like her parents and her family was. And then on the other side, like, like kind of parallel to where, yeah, that's where like the other celebrities were. And, um, is that why we didn't see, that's why we didn't see Luke. Got it. Okay. So who else? And there was another, he went with Eric church.

No, Darks Bentley. Same thing. Like not at all, but yeah. So Darks Bentley was also there. Yeah, Darks, like you know his daughter or something's a toaster. That is so funny. Dave Portnoy was there. The next night. Oh yeah, night two. And we need to talk about Dave Portnoy. Yeah. Because he put out a video talking about his experience because apparently last week he was like posting online that he wanted to be, that he was going to Arras and he like wanted to be in the tent. No, and in the podcast they were like, you're such a big Swifty, but like Taylor's like never even like acknowledged you. Like-

What do you have to say about that? And what did he say? And I think he was just like, no, like, and then like literally the next day, like I

I guess he was welcomed into the VIP tent. Yeah. So he knew he was going to be going. He posted a video yesterday saying that he had the most amazing night at the Eros tour. And he really just wanted to like throw it in the faces of people who have like doubted his Swifty hood and also like Taylor definitely hates you. Yeah, said like Taylor would never like you. Yeah, you're disgusting scum. Like, and he was like, oh, well really? Not only was I invited to the VIP tent, but her brother came up to me and gave me this note and he showed us this handwritten note from Taylor that was basically like, so glad you're here. Thank you so much for all the support over the years. Like you're hilarious and enjoy the show. Love Parsley. And then he, and then,

Love Parsley. And then, wait, the brother was like, wait, come to this tent. My mom wants to meet you. So, like, obviously they know who he is. And they love him. Yeah. Without knowing who he is, like, maybe Austin is a big stoolie because they love him. Yeah, no. Or maybe Taylor is. No, the thing is. Maybe Travis is. Like, Taylor loves, and by the way, same, anyone who just, like, fiercely, fiercely loves and defends her, like, blindly. Like Spencer Pratt. Exactly. Like, that's.

Like that is so relatable. Like anybody who wants to be up my ass, like I love you. Yeah. Bestie. No, but I feel like one of them is a huge stoolie. I'm going Austin. I don't know a lot about Austin. That's the thing. Like he used to be like really involved. Didn't he play football? I don't know. I might've made that up. He used to be like really involved in like the public life and he like decided a couple of years ago, this is not for me. And I feel like he's like a hermit. Like I never see him now. Like remember when he was getting involved throwing his Yeezys in the trash? Do you remember that? Yeah. Like he doesn't play like that anymore. So.

I think he's the big stoolie and he was like, okay, even though I'm not in the mix as much, like I'm going to use my sister's platform to my advantage. Like I don't want to meet my hero. We didn't really talk about the fact that I'm wearing a headband. It's your headband. Like what do you think? It's so cute. It's from Jennifer Bayer, I think. I just, I feel weird. No,

You look cute. I mean, it was weird with your outfit, but now that your outfit's covered, it doesn't matter. She's so mean. She's literally the meanest girl I've ever met in my life. I hate you. Even though you just said you look cute. And I said, now that your outfit's covered, it doesn't matter. You said you look cute, like even though you're a big turd. That's basically what you said. Kind of that lipstick that I had given you. Yeah. Anyways, also of note, like Taylor's signature looks like the word parsley.

Taylor's signature. Yeah. That's what went viral. He had showed everyone the handwritten note and like her signature. The way she wrote her name Taylor. Parsley. It looks like parsley. Parsley. Like every letter is perfectly spelled out. It was really crazy. Yeah.

That's like the funniest thing to me. Yeah, a lot of like interesting things were gleaned from that letter. Like what her personal stationery. Yeah, it says from the desk of Taylor Swift on the bottom. Songwriter and feline enthusiast. Yeah. Like cat lady. Yeah, you know, I got you stationery that says from the desk of Turdy Lou. I did know that. I'm so Taylor coded. Oh my God, it's literally in my desk. I need to like start writing stuff. Yeah, like when someone comes to your show, have your brother bring a note. Okay, I love that. Isn't that cute?

Yes. You can give it to my neighbors at Gizno. Also, speaking of an amazing show in Florida at one of the Hard Rock properties, your girls are coming. And what's crazy is we met a lot of toasters at the Eros tour who were obviously like from the area and were like, see you at Gizno in December. They're like, what do you mean? They didn't know. Did we not do a good job of promoting it? There were girls who were like so excited to meet us who did not, who live in Florida, who did not know that we are performing at the Hard Rock Casino in Seminole, Hollywood, Florida. There are so many names associated with it.

I know, like, where the hell is it? It's Hard Rock Live, Seminole, Hollywood, Florida. Guitar Hotel. Gizno. Gizno. Holiday Spectacular. December 8th. We'll see you there. Tickets available at thetoastpodcast.com. And tickets are still available. It's the biggest venue we've ever done. We are so excited. We're going to break the Guinness Book World Record of most swirlies ever in one place. So, yeah, you don't want to miss it. You don't. And it's the hotel that's cheap like a guitar. I'm sure you've seen it on the highway. We saw it. We saw it on the way to the...

To the tour. We were excited. Yeah. So hard rock. See you there. It's literally giving like eras of Gizmo. Be there or be. I'm in my Gizmo era. I don't know about you. I don't know about you. It's not the same thing. But my name is Cherty Lou. That's true. But it's not the same thing. You're like not remote.

I agree. Don't sing in my presence. No, I feel like weird. Yeah, like something at me. Why am I singing in the room with my sister? No, in this tiny little room. Stop, you can't think about it. Okay. You can't think about it. Yeah, if you think too hard about the fact that we are sitting in a room. No, stop. It's giving legacy box. Like, stop. Like, we're like two, like 10-year-olds. It's metaphysical. You know, I did just see a reel. Who posted it? Someone reposted it. Mary Orton, of course, because she's such a classy broad. And I think it was like audio of Ina Garten saying like, what did you love doing when you were 10 years old?

find a way to make that your career and like you will live a very happy life and like this is literally what we were doing so true I mean like I yeah I think if I if you were to ask 10 year old me like this would be great I would have loved to have been a singer but I'll take this you're fine you're worming your way into singing so true

- What else happened at Arrows Miami? What other celebrities were in the tent? I saw a lot of like notable people not in the tent, like a lot of models. - Well, the Kelseys were there, but they were in a suite and actually really interesting. They were there the night that we were there or was it the second night, whatever. - The night we were there. - Donna, Kylie, the kids, Jason, and they were not in the VIP tent. I think it's like a lot. You're kind of like a caged animal in the VIP tent 'cause it's on the floor. People can really just like walk right up. It's a lot.

Um, and I think with them, with the kids, they didn't want to be like overstimulated. I think they wanted the kids to have like a nice place. So they, they were in a suite and in a box, but I saw a lot of footage of Jason, Kylie and the kids walking to their car afterwards. Like,

Like where we were walking. No. Yes. And they had like a police like officer or two like escorting them. They weren't in the black lot? They didn't have like a fancy like they were walking out of the stadium literally the steps that we walked out of. Like isn't that weird? That is weird because there is like a parking pass that gets you into the stadium. Well not only that that's like any person can buy that. It's just expensive. If you're with Taylor like you get driven in. Right. You don't even go to the outside. No and apparently if you have a box the parking pass comes with it and they were in a box. It was weird I'm telling you. That is weird.

- Hmm, is that all for Hours Miami? - I think so. - Oh, and she changed her reputation bodysuit. That was the big headline. - She did, so night one that we were there, Jackie was so confused by everyone was like losing their minds and I was explaining that a lot of people thought maybe like that reputation was gonna be announced that night. - You know what I did? - We were looking for clues. And when she came out, so the entire tour has been so strange in the sense, well not strange, it's been interesting that like every single outfit that she has worn for every costume has changed a little bit. She's gotten a new one, she's either changed it a lot, changed it a little bit.

except the reputation bodysuit. It's the only set where she doesn't change. She wears it the whole time. And since the first show, it's the same exact one.

so everyone's like well when she changes it it means that reputation is coming so we like made up this rule in our heads and then she changed it so we were like oh reputation's coming i feel like she didn't change it because like the prior costume was perfect and i think it was like really easy to move around and like the even for the 1989 era she made the skirt shorter people were saying like maybe she saw like it won't i think the bodysuit was like perfect she could do her thing it encapsulates the era maybe she got a new one just because like whom's a fresh but i don't think it signified anything other than like she was really happy with

that well she didn't announce anything so maybe it meant nothing right and then the second night she changed her speak now dress she changes her dresses all the time but like from night one to two yeah like you never know what outfit she's gonna come out in it's like the same silhouette and the same idea but different colors or different shapes and there was a lot of like green and orange for the dolphins yes for the dolphins we're dolphins proud fins up yeah like that's the colors of the stadium fins up

So that's your Eros recap, Miami. Yeah. Where does she head next? I don't know. I feel like Indianapolis is one of those. Cleveland. Classic. When she goes to Cleveland, it's going to be like a big family affair. It better be. Yeah. It better be. If she is going to Cleveland. Like, not me making that up. Yeah. But maybe. Well, let's move on if we can. Yeah. We'll try. Might keep going back. We might keep getting, yeah. Because actually, the rest of the stories later on are like very...

Tour. Adjacent. Yeah, it's about like concerts. But our next story is not. Jennifer Lawrence is pregnant. She is expecting baby number two with her husband, Cook Maroney. She's so elegant. I know. Jennifer Lawrence and her husband are expecting their second baby, sharing the news via Vogue, Instagram post, and article on Sunday. Congratulations are in order for Jennifer Lawrence. The Oscar-winning actor will be welcoming her second child with art gallerist husband, Cook Maroney. The magazine wrote in the caption of the post, adding that representatives for J-Law had confirmed the happy news to the outlet.

No, so chic. Like she doesn't have social media. Yeah. Doing it on Vogue. Like so elegance. I like forget about her. And I think that's a good for her, right? She like pops up, makes waves with her work and then goes back to living like a really, really private life. I feel like she has such a healthy work-life balance. Yeah. And like the lack of social media. I just love this for her. Like I really do. I do as well. What's her first baby's name? Cy. C-Y. I don't know if that's a nickname. For Cyrus. Yeah.

Or for Cydia. Or for Cyclops. Or Cider. It's definitely short for Cider. That's a cute name. Yeah. Well, I love her. And like now that she's been like paparazzi since this came out with like her belly out, she loves a belly out moment, you know? Yeah. No, she looks great. Is my girl Robbie still pregnant? I feel like we haven't heard about her in a while. I think she's still pregnant.

Yeah. So they'll like, you know, tap each other out and then she can get the roles while she's on leave. Right. And then, you know, the cycle begins. That's beautiful. Yeah, it is beautiful. It is. Yeah.

Mazel Tov. Mazel Tov. That's all there is to say. Yeah, I like her a lot. I love that for her and her growing family. And it's funny when someone who's so cool and off the beaten path is actually quite traditional. Yes, yes. Married, one baby, two baby. She lives in New York, right? Yeah. That also makes her cool. Yeah. Because nobody does. Live in New York? Yeah, nobody. If you're so, so, that level, you always live in LA. But she's just so chill. So chill. So she goes to the grocery store.

Pertench. Pertench. I actually saw a TikTok. Somebody was saying like, who do you think is a person? We're always talking about like the perfect level of fame. And there was this one that went viral saying that the person with the perfect level of fame is Maggie Rogers, which I thought was interesting because she just played like three nights at Madison Square Garden. People are obsessed with her, but I feel like her fans wouldn't even talk to her in person. They just really love her music, not necessarily like her person. Okay. And she probably goes to the grocery store quite a bit.

But she also goes to the Met Gala, you know? Yeah. I thought it was a good answer. It's an interesting answer. I do feel like she can make herself look regular. Yeah. And that's good. But I also feel like Jennifer Lawrence could make herself look regular with a little baseball cap. Like, yeah, except the thing about Jennifer Lawrence and the reason why she, like, blew up in the way that she did is that she is so, like...

Like, she's the most beautiful, like, the most beautiful woman in the world can't make themselves, like, normal. Like, you know what I mean? You don't think with a baseball cap and, like, just sunglasses and, like, disheveled and, like, a canvas tote. Jennifer Lawrence, like, no matter what she's wearing, like, she can't get rid of her movie star quality. You know? Like, that's what made her, like, the movie star that she is. Like, I feel like Maggie Rogers or, like, any performer, you take all that stuff off, like, you really wear just sweatpants. Like, you can just be a girl. Yeah. Like, some people have, like, Jennifer Lawrence has that fashion.

Yeah. That movie star quality. That's true. Not to say that Maggie Rogers isn't beautiful. You guys know what I'm saying. It's not what you said. No, but I could see people being like, well, Maggie Rogers isn't beautiful. Well then, yes she is. You don't have listening comprehension. That's not what I said. It's not. It's not.

- Thanks. - Are you ready for our next story? - What number? - Three. Things that happened this weekend, the big night out at the Academy Museum Gala, which is like the most confusing event. - We talk about it every year because we have no idea what it is. - 'Cause it happens every year. - But every famous person, it's literally the same level of talent as like the Met Gala. - Every famous person goes and they bring out their best

objectively nice looking looks. They look beautiful. They don't look like kooky or weird or like too avant-garde. Like they just genuinely look gargi-parchi. And I know that now having done this job for, you know, X amount of years, I know that it is a benefit for a museum. Yeah.

Yeah. I could not. Academy of Motion Pictures. Oh, it's not like an art museum? No, I think it's like a movie museum. And it may be in some ways tied to the Oscars. Like maybe the Oscars Academy of Motion Pictures who votes on the Oscars has a museum of motion pictures. Okay. That's my guess. Well, I was just going to say like that's as much as I know. So they have this event every year to raise funds for the Academy and the museum and the gala. Yeah.

And don't forget about the museum. Right. And the girlies go. Everyone goes. Everyone goes. So this year, a lot of people went. The people that we care about most, including Kendall and Kylie had a sister's, an SNO, a swirly's night out. I love when they decide to just like act like they're, they act their age. And it's like every, maybe once a year, they remember, they are like reminded that they are the most famous, the most wealthy and like the most connected girls. And like, let's go out and

out and have a night let's go out like what's everyone doing tonight oh that gala okay let me get like a dress nobody could ever get let me just call up Mugler like it's like they remember that they're like these Pardee sisters and they're like let's be Pardee sisters for a night yeah so they were Pardee sisters they both looked amazing Kim was also there but like didn't like roll up with them no she was separate they were together inside I thought Kim's outfit was like a little crazy I thought it was crazy because and I don't

think it was bad I think like objectively it was very beautiful but like when you see everyone showing up it's like this really elegant gala and like she's wearing her underwear where are your pants everyone really looked black tie like would you everyone wore what they would wear like someone's wedding no if Kim showed up someone's wedding in that she seriously like it was crazy for that and it's like that movies is like an industry she's like trying to break into like

I feel like it was a very brave thing to do, not wrong or right. And she should show up everywhere as Kim and be herself and be confident. And she can wear whatever she wants technically, but- - I just feel like it's like a dress code for things that you should kind of abide by. - Like put your pants on. - Yeah, it was crazy to show up. That's something you would wear to the VMAs. ♪ Put your pants ♪ ♪ Put your trousers on ♪

Put your trousers. Basically what we're going to do is dance. Yeah. I guess technically like Kylie's outfit was crazy because it was like giving thong. Yeah, but it was a full dress to the floor. No, but like it was superposed. Like that's the craziest level I will accept. Yeah, no. I like I wanted to say like

Like objectively, like I thought the outfit was pretty and like it was cool. And if she had worn it to like the VMAs, I think it would have been sick. Kim, yeah. It's wrong for this affair. It was wrong. And I still don't really fully understand the affair, but I still know this outfit's wrong. Yeah. Like it's a black tie fundraiser at the end of the day. Put your trousers on. Put your trousers on. So a photo that is like going viral. Three unlikely characters took a picture together. And like from left to right, I shall name them. Patrick Schwarzenegger.

Kendall Jenner, Joe Alwyn. Now, the Joe Alwyn piece obviously hit me sideways, right? Like, this is a person who's, like, so anti-fame, like, he had to keep Taylor locked up. Like, yeah. I'm sorry. You're not, like, if you're anti-fame, you're not taking pictures with the Kardashians. Like, I'm sorry. I'm not holding space for both things to be true, you know? Well, they both can't be true. Oh, that's not. You can't be at an event hobnobbing with the Kardashians. That's not what bothered me. No, I'm sorry. If he's going to go to any event, like, it's the Academy of Motion Pictures. All the movies that he does, like, are in these. This is his wheelhouse. Mm-hmm.

it's not shocking to me that he was there taking pictures but it's like what are you doing are you doing with kendall talking to kendall yeah actually that really is part of like team enemy yeah kendall's place actually in the let me just you got a little oh my head on the other side my headband looks weird no you just have like i have a pay yes okay i have a curly q okay yeah yeah perfect perfect i look darling again okay um

Kendall's place in that whole saga is like actually really underrated and not spoken about enough because like we forget about the 1989 shows where Kendall Jenner walked on the stage like with all the other models, Mod Squad. Like she was very close to becoming like a core member of that, you know, Rhode Island house. They share a best friend. That's really weird. Yeah.

And I feel like Taylor would be the type of person like with, with Kim, it's like so personal that like she couldn't be friends with someone who's even remotely close. And Gigi's not only friends with Kendall, she's friends with the whole family. Yeah. No, that, and I,

I would understand that. Not to be like, you can't be friends with people I don't like, but like. Not wanting to be. Yeah. And like, I couldn't have a best, best, best, best friend who's like so, so close with the people that I hate most. Yeah. I couldn't. It's actually like not spoken about enough. Yeah. Although I do feel like if Gigi had to pick, right? She's definitely closer with Taylor. Yes. But she's super tight with, I feel like maybe her and Kendall are like work friends. Perhaps. Like, I don't think they hang out.

Like on the weekends. Like the way that they used to. They definitely used to. Like when they were in middle school. Yeah. When they were in middle school.

So yeah Kendall and Joe all win We're gonna speak to each other And that's just something And then also she dated Patrick Schwarzenegger At one point In a technical sense But for a second I got him confused With Connor Kennedy Cause they are confusing No and by the way Like nobody thinks of Patrick Schwarzenegger As one of Taylor's exes He's Miley's ex A thousand percent He's also like engaged now Like he's fine Yeah Like I don't think Anything But like

Just another random name to throw into the mix. So like how did these three sort of congregate together as a group? What did they talk about? What did Kendall and Joe talk about? Do you think like they hit it off? No, Kendall has like a lot going on. Like I feel like she's like, like she's like. Is she seeing someone? I don't know. She's like, I feel like she's still definitely like has something going on with Devin Booker. And then also obviously Bad Bunny. Like I don't know.

I don't think she has space in her life now for a third. But maybe you just need someone to come in and you've been going back and forth and you weren't able to choose because the choice wasn't there and you need that clear choice of Joe Alwyn. What did they have to talk about? For real. Joe Alwyn takes himself so seriously. He's fancy British. I feel like he talks about literature. He's so kind of snobby. And Kendall's like a swirly. I mean, as she would describe, she's a nerd. I think Joe would call himself a nerd. Yeah, but Joe is a nerd. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like I have like a visceral reaction. I really don't like him. I know you don't. Like get out of here. He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't do anything wrong. Like he loved your girl for six years and when it was unpopular to do so. Oh please. Even when it was

Even when it was unpopular, Joe Almond should be so lucky. Like who? Literally who? I'm just saying. He was like, they ran its course. You're right. But he did nothing wrong. What, because he was too blue for her? No, there are like rumors and stuff that like he cheated. But there's no way of knowing that. That would be in the music. It's not in the music. Yeah. And TTTBD was not a slam album because she doesn't want you to slam him. No, she doesn't want us to slam him. I'm sorry. Like I actually also didn't like him when they were together. So it's not like I'm just like, I hate him because him and Taylor broke up. Like I actually never thought he was right for her.

And I don't like him. That doesn't mean for hatred. No, not hatred, I guess. He didn't do... He's a nice guy. He's doing his best in this world. Yeah. And he did right by your girl for the most part. Okay. So it seems. Wow. Okay. I've been silenced. Like...

What else is there to say? He doesn't deserve it. A bunch of other swirlies were at the affair. Yahoo. Oh, you want to get into the swirl? You just like name a few of the A-list. Kaya Gerber, Nicole Kidman, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Sarah Silverman were holding hands, but in a platonic way. Even though like he is single now.

And did they date? No, the way they were holding hands was like... No, I feel like they're just working together to like... Absolute friend zone. To support Israel. They're both like big Israel supporters. Love that. Yeah. Like that was the vibe I got. We're holding hands in solidarity with Israel. That was the vibe that I got. Even though like I should like them and that, like...

I do not ship in any way, shape or form. - No, of course not. And we still, as I'm gonna speak for both of us, if that's okay, like we have unresolved feelings when it comes to him and Isla Fisher, like they're not done yet.

No, I think they were done. No, I don't think so. But like, not for me. Right. I stayed there. Dust collected around your pinned up hair. Right. Ari was there. Cynthia Revo. Oh, Ari was actually asked. I like... Okay, shout out to Ken Baker. Colgate grad, right? It was Ken Baker who asked it? Yeah, he works for Variety now. He used to be on Hay. There was a kind of drama when he left. And then he got this job at... And he's a Colgate alum. And he was like...

What do you think? Like finally, somebody asking a good question. Like Ari, what do you think about Cynthia Riveo's like breakdown on Instagram about AI? And Ari was very political. You could tell she thought Cynthia was crazy.

But she said, that's my sister. Like, and if she feels that way, she feels that way. But she was like, listen, you know, AI is this big thing. Like none of us know. She kind of got like philosophical. I think she took it to a really good place. It's really complicated. That's what she said. I think it's a really good strategy that when asked a question that you don't want to answer, like you just confuse people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really a smart one. No, she was put in the top spot. Cause I think like Ari's used to this sort of, and, and,

And Ari did say that. She was like, a lot of this is new for Cynthia. Like for Ari, it's not. Like every time she farts, like there's memes made out of it. I think she meant AI is new. And we don't know, like. Oh. Maybe she meant both. Maybe she meant neither. Well, here we are questioning everything. But I think she was saying like, it is new. And we all need to figure out as a society. Yeah.

How we're going to navigate these new muddy waters. I guess Kylie's dress like was a little suggestive, but it's covered. Yeah. It's like a lot of boobs. Yeah. No, I'm sorry. The more I look at Kim, like looking next to Kaya Gerber, who's wearing like a flapper dress from the twenties, like Kim looks crazy. Yeah. Nicole Kidman looked bomb. Yeah. The swirlies were out. Everyone looked really lovely. Yeah. It's nice when everybody gets dressed up like Kylie.

They're not like trying to get attention. You know, sometimes like people end up looking crazy on red carpets because like they want to be photographed. Whereas like here, everybody just like moving the needle and they're pushing fashion. Everyone here is like actually a list. They don't have to do stupid shit like that. Yeah, no. And it's like it's a respectful event. And so I it's it's always nice to see the pics from it. Now, we do have obviously more to get into, but I did want to let everyone know that the remainder of the show is brought to you by DraftKings. Oh, thank you. So

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Our next story, a little update from what we discussed on Friday. Love like a quick turnaround update. Okay. Sand in my boots fest. Oh yeah. Morgue fest. Okay. Also Morgue fest. By the way, I learned a little bit more about Morgue fest. It's not like a brand new festival. It was a preexisting festival that he's kind of taking over. So when we were talking about like celebrities just throwing festivals and how scary that can be for like, you know, safety, there actually is preexisting infrastructure that like,

makes this like a much lower lift for Morgan Wallen. Got it. Okay. Infrastructure is key. And apparently like fans of this festival, I don't know if there were a lot since it literally got shut down, but like they're devastated that it's Morgan Wallen's festival now. Oh, interesting. I wonder what it was before. I'm not sure. I hadn't heard of it. It sounds similar to Tortuga, which is in Florida on the beach. And it's like they put on concert venue on the beach, but like there's a lot of hotels that you can stay at. They're not responsible for like food and lodging. We don't need to go to Tortuga Festival. We have to go.

So the last few years where we've been able to go, the lineup wasn't worth going for for us. We'll have to see what they're putting on this year. And then the years that we couldn't go, of course, it was like Luke Combs and Morgan Wallen together doing a joint song singing about the girl who swirled the night out. Because the country music industry literally hates us. And they just don't work with our schedules and they're not flexible. They're not flexible.

The lineup is here for Morgfest, aka Sand in My Boots Festival, which is Morgan Wallen's beach side festival on the Alabama shores, of course. Alabama. How did you not know that? Have you been to Alabama? Alabama is a gorgeous place and they have beautiful beaches where you could listen to country music at Morgfest called Sand in My Boots.

This is not a paid endorsement. No, because if it were, we're doing like a terrible job. The festival will feature headliners such as Morgan Wallen. Of course. Post Malone. Huge. Brooks and Dunn. Huge. Hardy. Classic. Morgan Wallen doesn't do anything without Hardy. Along with a mix of country hip hop and rock performers, including Wiz Khalifa. T-Pain. Oh. Wiz Khalifa. 2 Chainz. Not to be confused with 2 Strands. Not to be confused with 2 Strands. 3 6 Mafia.

- I like that he's like crossing genres. - Moneybaggio plus for Ben, the war on drugs, Three Doors Down. - For Ben, what's the war on drugs? - I don't know, but they were right before Three Doors Down. - Three Doors Down is for Ben. - Future Islands, real estate and more. - So it's kind of like hodgepodge. - Hodgepodge, however, I think altogether,

It's nice. Chase Rice will be there for the girls. For the Ratcherette girls. Ella Langley, Ernest, who also works with. I like Ella Langley. Morgan, Ernest. Do you know that song? Yes. Excuse me. You look like you love me. It's so cute. Yeah. And everyone only knows that part. You look like you want me to want you to come on home. I'm not like other girls. Keep going.

I can't blame you. You must have been home, man. And there it is. Morgan Wade will be there. Will Kyle Richards be there? TBD. She's not on the lineup? Not on the lineup. That's a huge flop for Morgfest. Riley Green. Classic. I hope grandpas never die. I hope grandpas never die. So I'm going to tell Snitch.

Yeah, that Riley Green is a handsome fella. Yeah, we saw him at iHeartCountry Fest. I've seen him a few times. He opens for Luke. So when I saw like two random Luke shows, he had opened for both of them. He's really on the up in the country music scene. That Grandpa song really did him in. He has a couple really strong songs. And he's also like...

so incredibly handsome that like, he has what it takes. It's hard not to be dazzled. And he also performs like in overalls with nothing underneath them. Like, yeah. And not that, you know, there's like real countrymen and non-real, but like, he's also like from like, like he's like grew up on a farm, like doing the real thing. He talks the talk and he walks the walk. You know, Luke Bryan has said, you know, some of these country guys, they wear more makeup than the girls. And like, he's basically, he's never said that by the way. I have like a memory of him saying something similar to that, but basically like you can tell when you meet a country artist and,

And like you take them hunting And like they've never been hunting It's like It's giving inauthentic But he did not say that thing About makeup That was like slanderous of me But that was like implying I understand though That like they're kind of posh I kind of like like the quote Yeah no I kind of I kind of slayed honestly Yeah

you know some of these guys they'd be wearing more makeup than the girls do but then it sounds like he's like being like homophobic and that's not what he was saying i think we know what he was saying once again yeah he meant like prissy once again yeah jennifer lawrence isn't more beautiful than maggie rogers and by the way luke bryan's not being homophobic and turn his fake quote it also might not have been luke bryan but i think it was i just i just think we all understood what you meant like even if it wasn't sometimes people like love to extrapolate

And I need to get out ahead of it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Like I am the anti-extrapolation. Extrapolation is good when you know what you're doing. But it could be a messy business. And extrapolation is good like when you know the person personally. Like I would never extrapolate from somebody I don't know. Right. But also extrapolation is good when you trust your faves. That's beautiful. And you're not assuming the worst. Make it a quote card. Extrapolation is good when you trust your faves.

The problem is some of you. Asterisk. Asterisk. The problem is some of you were not your faves. Right. Which is like crazy that you're an hour and 10 minutes into a show of people who aren't your faves. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Crazy. Crazy generous. Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is kind of some major touring news? And someone is getting her flowers and deserves them. Who? Shakira. Shakira.

You know what? I'm obsessed with this story. I'm so glad you brought it up. Shakira is postponing her North American tour. Not for the reasons you might think. To switch from arenas to stadiums after overwhelming demand. Apparently, like the tickets are flying off the shelves. There's not enough tickets to go around. So she said, hold my beer. Oh, you didn't think these arenas aren't big enough? Let's do stadiums. I love that. You know, it takes a certain kind of person to do a stadium. And these days it's only the core four. Add a fifth

to the mix. Who is the core four in your mind? Taylor, Beyonce, Luke, and Morgan. Ed Sheeran. No. And Coldplay. No. Okay, I'm sorry, but it's true. Then we're just like, we're in a different, like,

- Okay. - Like yes, technically Ed Sheeran. I don't even think about Ed Sheeran. - By the way, I never think about Ed Sheeran. - I literally go weeks of my life. - Weeks, years. - Years. - Agreed. - And I do not think about Ed Sheeran. - But the crazy thing is like nobody on the planet sells more tickets than Ed Sheeran. He's on the same level as Taylor. Like it's really crazy. - That is so crazy. - In countries that are not like his, like he's huge in the UK. - So who are the core four for you?

Well, I don't think that there's four. What you think that there's six? Okay. Beyonce, Taylor, Luke, Morgan, and. Ed. Ed. Yeah. Like I guess Coldplay like doesn't count. You are right about Coldplay, but they don't count. They don't count. Yeah. Like they're not like, they've just been doing this forever. And like they have these standing audiences and like. Yeah. It just is what it is. It's like, yeah, it's pre-existing. It is what it is. Yeah. They're like a football team. Like I'm not shocked they're selling out stadiums. Correct.

Shakira has entered the chat. I'm so happy for her. Now, what's devastating is that you really can't talk about this without bringing up JLo. Like when I was on Twitter, like everyone was talking about. I just want to say like I could have and I would have. Because she was like the one to most recently postpone her North American tour for very different reasons. I just want to say like I was planning to have this conversation and JLo never entered my mind. And because they don't like necessarily compete, but they definitely are in the same space. Like they did the Super Bowl together. So it's actually really crazy to see them having such conversations.

moments. Not to like seriously bring JLo into this, but everyone else on Twitter did. So like, that's why I did. Yeah. I wouldn't have. Also JLo like spreads herself doing a lot of other things, including acting and, you

Busy herself like she she was very focused on music and so for her seeds to bear fruit like I'm very happy for her and Shakira for me like obviously I know Shakira but I don't like download her new music I don't really follow her career and so it's kind of crazy for somebody to like be having like something so big happening and like I kind of don't know about it don't know about it like didn't participate in it I'm not like she's not having the success like none of it is due to me same

And that's really cool. I know. Not to center ourselves, but like. No, she's like working hard and it's paying off and like hard work pays off. She's the example. And by the way, for someone to like be having like this level of success, what, 30 years into their career? Like when did her first song really pop off? It was when we were kids. Yeah, probably in the 90s. That's so crazy. And just like to see, like to sell out an arena.

by yourself, like as a woman, like that's sick. Yeah. As a woman at a certain age, I think she has kids, which means she took time off. And she went through like a really bad divorce with that piece of shit. I mean, she's like still going through it in the jelly. Yeah. And the jelly, the jelly, you love to see her raking it in.

- Post divorce. - Post PD. - This is money that she will get to keep. - It's very Jessica Simpson. - Yeah, it's very Kelsey Ballerini, having all that success after you file. - Yeah, no. - Well, other things- - Kelsey Ballerini was married for two minutes and I think they just split the commission on the sale of the house. - No, no. ♪ Knowing you got half ♪ - Half asterisk. - You think of just the house? - Yes. - Oh. - She said that on "Call Her Daddy." - Oh.

I assumed it was like 50% of her finances. No, I think we all did. But I just remember learning that it was, he got half of the house, even though like she spent more on it.

Okay well that because that made me sick if she was seriously giving. I'm pretty sure like feel free to fact check me. Okay. But that was my takeaway. My takeaway was that like she made way more than him so like in order to get him to get the fuck away she just gave him half of everything. I think that they had a prenup right? Had a prenup and it was half of the house that he did not contribute half towards. Okay well that's taking a loss on the house. You got half asterisk of the house that you do not contribute half towards.

What are you thinking? I'm just thinking. I actually think I need to do a live fact check because that's a big thing to say if you didn't get half. I don't even know where I would find this information. Kelsey Ballerini. Morgan. Divorce. What's his last name? Wallens. Evans. House. Half. I was actually thinking about Morgan Evans last night as I fell asleep.

I forget why, but I was really thinking about how that era where like these three young hot things in country were all coming up together. Kelsey Ballerini, Maren Morris, and Kacey Musgraves. And they all got married so young to men significantly less famous than them. And now every single one of them is divorced. So Kelsey Ballerini says ex Morgan Evans gave her choice of giving up half the house or paying alimony on call her daddy. She discussed her marital struggles and explained her side of the story about where things stand now. Okay. Um, that's better.

When you who you marry is not who you divorce as he's putting out a song about being blindsided He's taking half the house that he didn't pay for. Okay, so Alex said so you didn't get a prenup She said I did get a prenup. It was kind of like that or alimony. So he got half of the house. Okay. Okay Okay, yeah Okay not that makes you feel better as to get out of a marriage that like you're so unhappy and I'm like All you'd lose is half a house like when you're a celebrity like that's fine, right?

Okay, okay, that's better. So I think that's a good way to end things. Yeah, me too, amicably. Yeah, on a high note, on some good news. That's our show. Nice long one for you. I hope you enjoyed the Eris Tour recap, Jackie's version. N-L-O-F-Y. Nalafi. That's what you could say now when it's long. That's our show, Nalafi. That's our show. Nice long show for you. Nice long one for you. Nalafi, thank you so much for listening to the show.

to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube so if you're watching us on YouTube please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up we're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found so it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iRadio, CastBox all the places where you can listen to podcasts find us at Toast leave a five star review about how beautiful, stunning and wiggly talented we are hope you have an amazing day you guys and we'll see you tomorrow love ya hopefully it's another Nalafi one Nalafi bye