Shownotes Transcript
It's the toast. It's Jackson Claudius. It's your favorite show. The fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's the toast. I sound amazing. Yes, you do sound amazing. I am so... Oh, excuse me. Now my iPad are like not behaving. Of course, we play the intro song every time the show begins. But today it is especially...
Because I'm so excited that after talking about it all week, we were able to finally get, finally, honestly, we turned it around really fucking quick. Our song on Spotify is like a regular song. It will be on all the streaming services. In due time. Yes. Like they're all being processed. Spotify went up first and thank God because like I think that's the most important one. So your kids can stream it in the car. Yeah, that's what we're going to do. We've been needing this and glad to have it by the end of the week. It's New Music Friday. Stream your new favorite song. Toast theme song.
Correct. Happy Friday. You'll be able to say like Alexa play toast theme song because it's going to be on Amazon music. It's going to be I think on like Google whatever. So whatever might play our podcast episode that's called the toast theme song. Oh, that's actually really confusing. We'll have to we might have to change that episode title.
Okay. Wow. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, at the time, you should be able to be cooking and be like Alexa. Like we, we can't, we can't interfere with that. Yeah. Especially cause that episode, like I think 10 seconds in I cursed, which I'm seriously regretting. Cause if it does come on by accident because you are with your kids and you want to play it, like that's just not the vibe. We're going to take care of it. Like one thing about us, we are doers, movers and shakers and we have moved, we've done and we have shook. Mm hmm.
What a week. I can't believe it's Friday. I feel like I really earned it. Every day was just sort of like working hard for the man. Yeah, it was a long one. It was a good one. It's the last day of February's. God, it is the last day of February. So it's very much a Friday's because it's the end of the week, the end of the month. And then it's March. Like, hello, March. It's giving in conclusion, March. Oh my God, March. I didn't really put together that March was beginning tomorrow. It changes everything for me. We're marching into March.
I love that. Yeah, that kind of changes things. Like, Marsha's a new vibe. I mean, I guess we should have known because yesterday we dropped our final episode of the month on Patreon, which was a real kind of hot button, radioactive. Everybody's talking about our episode. We do this series and we've started to do it less and less because it's honestly hurtful. We've probably done it, I think this is our third time ever, maybe second time.
It's inspired by the famous YouTube series Celebrities Reading Mean Tweets on The Jimmy Kimmel Show, where Jackie and I sit down and like read our mean podcast reviews. Now, podcast reviews are interesting because people come to compliment, but they also come to like troll. And we're hearing some hard truths about ourselves. We're pretty much disagreeing with all of them. Well, that would make them not truths.
You can't call that true. Oh yeah. No, we're hearing some fucking mean ass shit about ourselves. We're hearing some neurotic opinions about ourselves. Some lies. And we're responding to them quite directly. I feel like I didn't really respond to them. That was like, that's kind of like, I didn't know if like, if this is in a debate, like we're just like reading their views, chuckling, being like, no thanks. There was like a couple of things that's like, oh, that's an interesting thing.
No, but really most of them were in interesting notes. They were just like hate filled and I don't feel like we risk I didn't respond to them because like I don't yeah waste my time Well, you know, you'll just have to tune into the episode to find out what we did Really figure out exactly what we did do but if you listen to it You'll figure out know what we did and what we did not do and what we did not do is what we're doing, you know No
Yeah. Oh my God. You and I haven't even spoken about this and it's so internet. Like I'm embarrassed to even like share that. I know about it. Um, but there, yes. Oh my God. How did you know? So internet and I'm embarrassed to even know about it. There is a conspiracy theory. That's like really taken off.
mostly on TikTok, but it's that Mason Disick, you know, the 15-year-old firstborn son of Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick, has fathered a child. They're saying that he got a girl pregnant in his high school and they have a daughter named... They have a daughter named Piper. She's one years old.
- I don't think he would have a daughter. I just wanna say, I don't think he would have a daughter named Piper when his sister's name is Penelope. I just wanna say, so that's how I know that the rumors aren't true. - Oh, that doesn't convince me. The thing is, so everyone's like, there's these rumors. I'm like, what is the source of these rumors? Where do they come from?
apparently they come from Mason's self. Like he posted to his Finsta. He did a Q and A and you know, he just kind of like let it rip. He's always starting stuff. He lets it rip. And in his Q and A, like he seriously said that he has a one-year-old daughter. He posted a picture of her and said that she was a failed protection. Now there have been a lot of Mason Disick Finsta like moments. Are we sure? Is this a verified account?
I, that I don't know, but like I saw screenshots of a alleged Finsta from Mason and that's where this is coming from. Cause he like kind of goes on Instagram, Finstagram and spills the beans. Like he told us all that's like about Travis and Kylie, if they were still together. Every now and then he figures out the wifi password in his house and like uses it to spill his family secrets. Yeah.
You know, he's a grown-ass man. Because when people were saying this, I'm like, ew, don't talk about a child like that. But he's, like, literally a teenager. Like, this could happen. This is where the rumors stem from. But because I didn't see it with my own two eyes from the primary source, like, anyone can make up a screenshot and make up a thing. And you can also make up a Finsta. Yeah. So, I'm, like...
not going to report on it as veracity we're not reporting we are not reporting i'm just remarking yeah it's definitely weird like it's a it's weird to talk about the 15 year old kid and the one year old child and the girl in the art class and piper like i it's weird to talk about i kind of love the name piper just want to say if that is the name that they went with it's cute and that may call me a grandma and then piper and rocky are the same age
Well, that's always like a weird part in Hollywood when you have like children later in life and then like your kids already have kids. So like your grand baby is also your niece. Yes, but I feel like that happens more so not unnaturally, but because like men can have kids until a certain age. So for a woman to have a child and then another child, but the first child has a baby when she's like, that's, it's kind of beautiful. Courtney having children like 16 years apart is...
Biblical. Yeah. And that's how they did it back in the day, right? Like you were 16 years apart from your parent and then your grandparent until you have four generations living under one roof. Maybe not 16, but like 22. 19, 20. No. So you're 20, 40, 60, 80. So that's not a story by any means. I just felt like I had to speak on it. And then Piper would be having a living great-great-grandmother in MJ. Yeah.
Yes, yes you would. Honestly, have him young. It's a beautiful, if true, it's a beautiful story. There's beauty in it, if true. I had kind of like an experience last night. Kind of a frustrating one. Okay, share your truth. You know, Jackie and I are very proud Jewesses. And just like a fun part of our religion is like a deep sense of superstition, right? Mm-hmm.
And I kind of like that about us. Like we don't really plan for the future. It's like, it's not something I take umbrage with in my religion. You know, there's something. It's a little inconvenient sometimes, but. Well, when you're trying to plan for your future with as a pregnant lady, like it's definitely inconvenient. And last night for the first time, I was like, oh my God, I don't even have like a napkin. Like I don't have anything in my house. Like, and when you go on TikTok and there are girls who are like the same stage of pregnancy as you doing, doing nursery reveals. And like, you seriously don't even own a crib. Yeah.
It's jarring. And so I don't need a crib, obviously. But I was just like last night, like maybe I should just like make a plan, you know? Not buy anything. Right. Like grab a neighbor, grab a snack, make a plan. Not buy anything. Then, you know, once I started, I got like really crazy. And she's on Canva. I ended up designing on Canva my whole nursery. And I haven't bought anything and I will not buy anything and I will not do anything. But let me tell you, it's so party G. It's so aesthetic. Yeah.
It's so aesthetic. I'm so proud of myself repurposing a lot of the furniture that's already in my home because I'm really not in the mood to like spend money. You know, this is already going to be an expensive venture of my life. Like I don't need before the kid even gets here to like be spending money. So I like was on these like room renovator design AI websites like trying to come up when
When I came up with this, I'm not going to share it because that's like giving Kanai Nahara like superstition vibes. And I'm not buying anything. But I feel good knowing like when the time comes to buy, I know exactly what I'm buying. Like I don't have to spend time planning. It's just a click of a button. Yeah. And you can like just design nurseries on Canva as a hobby in your spare time. Like that's just fun. Oh, I would love to if anybody needs one designed. I'm kind of good at it. It doesn't mean anything. Like it's not Kanai. Like it's just a fun thing to do.
Now, it goes without saying, like, I think designing a girl nursery is so much more fun. Although I love where I ended up in there. There are less obvious themes when it comes to boys and you can't have like a monster truck themed nursery. But I was like looking at inspo pics on social media, like the girly ones with like the cute like pink wallpaper. Like, it's so cute. You got to put a couple frames in. We do have extras, by the way. I could spray paint them blue.
Claudia, you should. Do you see the balloons popping up around us? It's cause to celebrate. Oh, I think that's a party idea. I like that. That's really cute. I do need to have a nod to the toast in there. I didn't throw that in my canvas design yet. I'll get on it. Yeah, there's so many things you could put. So many. And then I also put together, you could put together like a private Amazon cart. Cart? Because I wanted to put all these things in my cart. I'm obviously not buying them. Yeah.
But like when the time comes I'd like to be able to just buy my cart But I don't want them sitting in my cart for the next yeah You have to like take them out and put back in so I made like a private Kurt I need to run it by you obviously like it's just so crazy cuz what I need something as an adult like I need a towel Mm-hmm. I get on Amazon right you know like whatever you need anything. I need I really love getting towels on Amazon Okay, fine fine fine fine not towels, so I need like a nail file. I get one on Amazon okay? Yeah
And like, I understand why people get so crazy. Am I like the mama industry? Because I think I'm so chill. I'm like the top seller on Amazon works for me. And then I'm like, does it? I don't know. Where has this elephant towel been? Like it was so cute on the kid, but I'm like, I don't know. It wasn't in like some of the brand names were giving like AI generated mom cozy, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know. I'm feeling like I understand why people get so crazy with just like every little product because I'm so chill, right? I was like putting shit in my car. I'm like, oh, this is totally like filled with chemicals, you know? Yeah. It's a slippery slope. I don't get crazy about like everything. Like towels, I wouldn't get so crazy because you wash them before you use them anyway. And hopefully that takes away the chemicals. But like what about the thread count? Do you know what I mean? Oh, that they're not cozy enough? Yeah.
not they're not like warm enough is it gonna be harsh on baby's skin harsh on baby's skin i don't know sometimes like i found myself thinking really critically you have a towel that's too soft it doesn't absorb the moisture and then the baby is wet and right i found myself thinking really critically about like random things and you know what else i found out but then also it's like if you have a party towel that you like that's the right amount of roughness and softness you could just use that and then you know but it doesn't it doesn't have the little ears yeah
Like where is the ears? - Yeah, if you don't have the ears. Well, you could also get like a little cap. - No, no, I remember bathing your children in that like gray elephant and it was the highlight of my life. It's too cute. I'm not giving up on that. Except can we talk about like a newborn baby towel? Like even the shit on Amazon, like the crap from Mom Cozy China for one towel, $26. Like, hello? It's a washcloth. It's literally a washcloth. - When I see that, I'm like, oh, maybe it's good.
No, they're taking advantage of like mamas who are unwell. Well, that's true. But you do need a towel for your baby. So. Correct. You also don't. You also don't. Like if you have a towel in your house. But something like that, you, it's kind of nice to go to the store and like feel stuff. Yeah.
Yeah, I know. But that's so not happening. I can barely make it to work. Like, let's be real. I feel like you live at Bloomingdale's. Like, that's where you sleep there on the seventh floor. I feel like up until this point, I'm like so chill. Like, no, I don't need things. And it's like, why? This is my first. Like, I can be crazy with my first child. No, like, I just I want stuff. Okay. Literally 180 from you saying four minutes ago, I'm not spending any money on this.
No no furniture I'm not spending money on Like that's the prices For some of these things like it's actually disgraceful I'm just well if I could Share some lessons I heard you say now I'm remembering I heard you said on FaceTime yesterday like you don't need A changing table because you have a dresser You can use a dresser as a changing table I didn't say that Because I picked out my changing table yesterday Get a changing table
Yeah, no, I picked it out. It's from Pottery Barn. It's part two. Okay, great. Get a change. So you'll buy that. You'll obviously buy the rocking chair, which you will use. You can start using today. Yeah, I honestly got a great tip because, you know, they make gliders. I was talking this. The legs going up is super important, right? And they make the manual and they make the electric. Or the flyback. Yeah, but I'm like, why would anybody not get the electric? Uh-huh.
And then I was talking to my friend Margo and she didn't get the electric. She's super religion. Like, is it because you don't want to use electricity on Shabbat? She was like, not really. Like it hinders where you can put the chair in the room because you need an outlet. And I realized that the room that I'm using for a nursery has seriously one outlet. I have to get the manual. OK, there you go. Also, the electric gives off a light that if your chair is like facing the crib, there's a light in their face. I used to like put a tape over it.
Oh, silly. Yeah, that's problems. Okay, so you're gonna fly back. I like how they make baby. Yes, I like how they make baby gliders with like Bluetooth speakers and chargers like lazy boy. You don't need that. Like they have a cooler. No, I think mine had charging ports. Like, are you joking me? No, but you know what I did find out? Like fun fact, and I feel like people probably know this, but I'm obviously like new here. But if you don't, your breast pump is covered by insurance. Mine was $4. Yes, you do know that. $4.95. Did you already order one?
No, no, I just checked what my insurance covered on the website. And you got to go blue spectrum, not pink spectra. Of course, blue spectra. And do you know that the pink spectra doesn't work unless it's plugged in and the blue spectra you can charge and take on charge. I only got blue because I had a boy. So I'm like, I guess I should get blue. And then I regretted it. I was like, I could have pink. I'm a girl. And then I learned that pink has to stay in the wall.
Do you know that there's a blue spectra in this very room that I sit in? You must have left it at one of the studios like you bought an extra one to pump with. Yeah. Can you share breast pumps? Yes, I can. There's nothing like. So this could be my work, my work pump. Yeah, there's something wrong with the screen. Like it still works, but you can't really see all the numbers I want to see. Oh, you left a broken one here. No, I still used it, but that's why I brought it to the office. And then I got myself a new one that I used at home.
Got it. Got it. Well, I love that because it was $300 on Amazon. I'm like, well, obviously I'm not going to forego a breast pump, but I'm like, damn, that's just funny. It's funny what costs a lot and what doesn't cost a lot. I feel like breast pump is premium technology that like, and does an amazing service and they can seriously charge what they want. And the fact that it's covered by insurance, like they could charge more. No. And you know what else was covered by my insurance that comes with my spectra? 400 bags. God willing, I should make so much milk that I use the bags. Okay. That's it. You don't want 400 bags in your house.
Oh, I don't, but it's free. I couldn't choose a different amount. You couldn't? That's going to like be annoying. It was automatically added when you put in the blue spectra. I think I got a hundred bags and I never went through all of them.
Okay, but maybe I'll be a super supplier. Maybe you will be a super producer. I mean, with jugs like mine. You would think it has nothing to do with breast size, shockingly. No, I don't mean more about the size. I mean the personality and girth of my breasts. They give super producer energy. Do you not agree? I understand you, but it's crazy how it doesn't work that way. But I'm not talking about size. I'm talking about real grit and personality. You're talking about energy. Yes.
Because I don't know if I would say that your breasts have the energy of super producers. Well, they're not super. They were never a super producer. I would say you were a little below average. Well, for the first, a little below. For the second, partially adequate. So, I don't know. No supplements. Yeah. I didn't supplement. Yeah. I feel like I could feed the whole block, honestly. That's kind of the vibe my breasts give off. Oh, yeah. I really don't want you to jinx yourself. Even though I've heard being a super producer is like,
Just as bad as being an under producer. Like it's, it's not a blessing. Like when you get to a certain point. Okay. At a certain point when you're filling up like actual milk jugs. Mason jars. Yeah. So you're not going to, hopefully that would be crazy, but good for content. You're not a super producer, but like you might be parchy.
I just want to let you know, if I am a super producer, like I am becoming one of those girls on TikTok who says like, they give you a breakdown. Here's what, and they literally fill up like, you know, when you go to Costco and you get that big gallon of milk, like they fill up three of those a day. Yeah. That is like one in a billion person. It's burdensome. I don't know anyone who's had that experience. But I'm actually pregnant at the same time as a lot of my friends. Like I could share and they would know it's coming from like a good clean source. You could. You could sell. Yeah.
- You could donate. - I just keep finding out like even more of my friends are pregnant and I can't tell you how fabulous it is. - That's very exciting. - It really is like, just kind of crushed it honestly. - Yeah, you're like so, you must love that. Like you're part of something. - Yes, yes. Being a part of like every time I hear something new. - You're not early, you're not late.
I'm just with the rest of them. And for a lot of my friends, it's their second, but a lot of them, it's their first. Not me, living life on a good timeline. Sorry. You're not supposed to compare. Everybody's on their own timeline. And that was me too, because I was literally not wanting to have kids when I'm 26, 27. I'm like, oh, no, still no. 28, no. 29, not really. 30, okay, fine. So for somebody who cares a lot about timelines, sorry, that's my toxic trait.
I am absolutely crushing it. Yeah, for someone who cares like what everyone else is up to. But literally for somebody who's always looking over her shoulder. Yeah. Crushed. I'm happy for you. And your aforementioned friends who are pregnant. Yes, of course. I'm not going to blow up their spots. But it's and it's a really party crew coming together. Oh, it is. Yeah. Of like NYC moms. Will you be like sad and happy? But like when you leave them?
'Cause like you will like graduate from the program soon. - Why am I leaving? Oh yeah, 'cause some of them are like further behind. Some of them are ahead. - Okay. - And I feel like I kind of crushed that too. Like there's a couple ahead and a couple in the middle, honestly. - You're not gonna be the first one leaving. You're not gonna be the last one there. - No, no, Rachel totally goes next. Like it's kind of hard, G. No, I won't feel sad. I can kind of be like a guiding light for others. - That's so beautiful.
Yeah. Yeah. It's been nice. And now it's just my phone knows like I'm my phone knows that I'm debating between the upper baby Vista and the bugaboo Fox five. And they're torturing me with it. They're torturing me with it to the point where like, I actually don't care anymore. Just like, give me a stroller. I shared my thoughts. Cause I have both. Yes. Like, but let me tell you, I actually have, um, uh, the bugaboo is in New York. Like if you wanted to just take it, Oh, it's my, it's my stroller. Oh, you know, I'm being free. Yeah.
- There's a stroller in this studio. - There should be. Or is it like in, it's in New York. - It's not here. - It's in my storage unit. - Yeah, like you are so up a baby Vista, up a baby Vista, up a Vista. - I love the up a baby Vista. I recommend it to everyone. - And then I saw a girl on TikTok this morning, like they know she was so chic. Like she had her up a baby Vista.
But a lot of my friends in New York City who like live similar lives to me, like they're working moms, but they like, you know, spend half the days with their kids, like very similar structures. They swear by the Bugaboo Fox 5. So I don't know. I don't know. The Bugaboo is like definitely like the cooler, chicer stroller a little bit. But like. Oh, it is. Like everyone.
really has the upper baby but like Bugaboo is very nice and I know some people do the Bugaboo donkey because it will easily convert into a two kid stroller if you're thinking ahead. I can't think that far ahead. But then it's really wide but then there's like a little you can make it like a little smaller and then there's a little compartment you can put Romeo in there. Just think about that.
No, I need you to tell me honestly, like, because all I care about is like being a cool mom. Like when I walk in the streets and when I finally start looking like myself again and I have the sick stroller, like what is the Rolls Royce? Oh, well, the Rolls Royce, like Dior makes a stroller. No, no. But of baby brands like, yeah, I know Dior is cool.
But like who has better like branding? - Well then there's also Silvercross. Like now we're like, it's not just Bugaboo versus Uppa Baby. - Yes, I took a look at Silvercross. - But really like the Uppa Baby, you will see if you start to like go to the parks and start, everyone has the Uppa Baby like for a reason. I love the Uppa Baby Vista.
But Bugaboo has like something cooler about it because maybe it's like, yeah, we don't care how easy it is to break down. We like how it looks. Right, we're too cool for that. And you know, I'm just now remembering because our sister Olivia, when she gave birth to her first, like we were all so excited and I remember my gift to her, like what's her stroller? I feel like I should remind her of that. Yeah, you should. I feel like she just doesn't remember. I bought her like the silver cross. I remember I was like, oh wow, strollers are expensive. But of course it was our first baby. Like we were all. Between Olivia and I, we have every stroller.
- Right, right. - I've literally teased this so many times I could do a whole blog on strollers. I have so many strollers. They are my passion. - That's so crazy. I just am like, I'm more vapid. - Like nothing was more exciting than getting a new, and in the beginning I was like, I'm getting the Duna 'cause I knew we were gonna move in a few months and I was like, I don't want a million strollers like in my hallway and I didn't have a love of stroller yet. I was like, we can walk around in the Duna, like that's fine.
And then I like just started to see other people's strollers and they had like bassinet attachments. So then I got like the yo-yo because it's collapsible and had a bassinet and it was like just this little bassinet stroller. But then I had an itch. And then I remember I was like, fuck it, I'm getting a little baby. It's kind of like purses. Kind of like purses. Like, yeah. So that's like the journey I went on last night. Like now I know about the products and the names and I'm like one of those girls. But you know what? Sorry, it had to be done. Just wait until you get your first. Yeah, I'm excited. It's exciting. Now in terms of show.
How are the stories? The Epstein files like were not released. No, like 200 pages were released of like things we already knew, like, and just like his contacts in his phone. So there's like new names, but it's like, that doesn't, I don't even want to say those names because it's not a smoky gun. Not at all. He had Mick Jagger's phone number. Like, like, sorry that I said Mick Jagger. Sorry.
It's useless. Waiting for the Epstein files is like waiting for rain in this drought. Apparently, like, thousands of pages, like, were withheld. No, and, like, good on that lady, Pam, who's, like, all about it. Yeah. You know? She's figuring it out. Like, thank God we've been...
like waiting for somebody to take on the job. And so take your time, but like figure it out and stop like teasing us. Yeah, the tease was kind of hard. And then like the binders and it's like, okay, they're here. And then it was a nothing burger. But then apparently a whistleblower told Pam that there's thousands of pages that like the FBI or the Southern District of New York withheld from her. So Pam is gonna get them. So it's a developing story, not the big breakthrough news we thought we were getting today. No new news.
But we have Queenie and Weenie of the Week. We have Southern Charm Recap. And the new episodes of Love is Blind dropped today, which we will be enjoying all weekend long. I don't know. I have to read this weekend for Redheads. So My Love is Blind. We'll take a back seat, but do what you have to do. I'll be there for you guys, Joey. Do what you have to do, Turdy. Yeah, I will. Do what you gotta do. Are there Oscars this weekend?
are they it feels like they are people are talking about them a lot like i'm seeing they're just talking about carla sofia gascon oh no that's like separate what i'm seeing is like people magazine like remembering oscars 1993. oh tributes no not like but just like going down oscars memory lane like in preparation the fabulous thing about this is that we could google it oscars 2025. but i'm liking using context clues
So that would make it March 2nd. That feels right. Do you want to put a final guess as to when the Oscars are airing? I think they're airing on Sunday. March 2nd, 7 p.m. Yes, you are correct. Wow. That feels right. You know what else feels right? Diving into the Fast Five stories you need to know. You do-do-do-do-do. It's a garcha-parcha morning with Jackie O and Turd-a-loo.
And the Gargi Paji Mining is brought to you by Netflix and their new comedy series, Running Point. It comes from Hitmaker and, you know, potential ideal guest. Dream guest. Dream guest for the toast, Mindy Kaling. And its stars are rom-com queen, Kate Hudson. So it's a really edgy, bold, and funny twist on the underdog comedy. It features main character, Isla Gordon, played by Kate Hudson, and her rise to one of the most iconic personalities
professional basketball franchises and her dysfunctional yet lovable family trying to block her shot. So basically, Kate Hudson's family owns this big basketball team and a scandal forces her brother to resign. She is then appointed president of the LA Waves, which is one of the most storied and professional basketball franchises, and it's her family business. So she's ambitious, often overlooked. Isla is going to have to prove to her skeptical brothers, the board, and the larger sports community that she was the right person
This is everything I need to enjoy my life this weekend. Like, Made by Mindy Kaling, check.
Starring Kate Hudson, check. Women in sports? I mean, this is a sports podcast. It makes sense why Netflix wanted to sponsor this episode. I'm so down. And it launched yesterday, so you can now watch it on Netflix. It's really pargy from the creators of Never Have I Ever, The Mindy Project. You can stream it now. Running Point isn't streaming now, only on Netflix. Thank you, Turdflix. You're welcome, Flix.
First story. Fans are blasting Justin Timberlake after he cancels his final concert of the U.S. tour minutes before showtime. Wait, Justin Timberlake is getting hate and I don't know about it? That's so crazy because I'm kind of the creator of a lot of it. I think you were like busy on Canva and missed sort of some of this. Oh my God, on house.com. Also, why is it so fucking hard to create a 3D rendering? I don't know.
Like, why do you have to be an architect? Like, I know the room is a square. I know the dimensions. I could put a picture. Like, why do they make it so fucking hard? No, it's seriously so crazy. I had this experience when I was in the guest room for you. Your guest room is like unique shaped room. Like, this is literally a square room. Why can't they just let me play around? They won't let you. They don't play around.
And like I was on fucking Reddit, like people being like, what do you use? And I was like caught like just using making free accounts at all. Like it was seriously so annoying. I ended up just doing it on preview on my computer, but I slayed it. I wish I could share it, but I won't. No, no, no.
That's like, you know, evil eye, evil eye, evil eye. I know, I know, I know. Justin Timberlake posted to his IG story, you guys, I'm heartbroken. I have to cancel the show tonight. I went into Soundtrack battling the flu and now it's gotten the best of me. It kills me to disappoint you and my team who worked so hard to make the show happen. I want to reassure you, you'll be getting refunds for your tickets. I love you all.
So this was the final show in the U.S. tour. Don't forget, though, it's a world tour. Of course. Who could? So, like, there will still be global shows, I think. But this was the last show of the U.S. And he had to cancel due to the flu, which I understand. Now.
Of course, nobody understands better than us falling ill. But, you know, there is a way to cancel a show and it's going to get backlash no matter what. Right. Like people are going to be mad, sad, angry. And this is probably the worst way to do it. Like very Morgan Wallen when people are already like in the facility. What's the better way to do it? The better way to do it is like I think you have until the morning of to make a decision. And if you're not canceling it, like you have to do the show. Got it.
I mean, the best way, the only person who's ever canceled a show and gotten no backlash is our King Luke Combs, where he was very sick and halfway through the show, he said, listen, you're all getting a refund. I'm still finishing, but it's not going to be my best work. So sing along with me. If I like take a break, you sing the words, you'll get a refund. We're rescheduling the show, but I'm still going to spend the next hour here. Like that's our party king. That's so crazy. And so when people like that exist,
It's hard to like say to Justin Timberlake, why couldn't you do that? You know? Yeah. And then remember like Kelsey Ballerini played through the flu a couple of weeks ago and she had to leave in the middle of the show. Oh,
Also. So yeah, leaving in the middle is different than canceling right before. Like at least she tried and she, people got like half a show and then are getting another one. So you get one and a half shows for the price of one ticket. Like they're getting, she rescheduled or she refunded. No, your tickets will be honored for a rescheduled date. Like she, she's re, she will be doing the show. Yeah. So that's not so terrible. The worst is obviously like Morgan Wallen, like while people are like, the openers already have played. Yeah. So there's a bad way to do it.
There's not even a good way to do it, but the Luke Combs way was obviously the one people say now. That's insane. You don't need a refund. Did you have to do that, Claire?
Have you seen the clip? People are like, he's like, listen, I'm really- You got a whole show and a refund? I can't sing, so I'm going to refund your tickets. And everybody's like, boo! But, and then everybody starts cheering when they realize they're getting a free show. That's crazy. And I've seen clips from that show. He sounded totally fine. I'm sure it was amazing. Yeah, but- It's a tough spot to be in, especially when you feel really sick. Like, you really feel like shit. You can't do much. And I think Justin just-
expected too much from himself, like pushing himself, thinking like, I'm Justin Timberlake, I've got this. And he didn't have it. He definitely has like a toxic sense of self. He didn't listen to his body. He tried to push through. And if he had listened earlier in the day, he could have canceled like with reasonable time before the babysitter showed up.
Yeah, I mean, I obviously choose to see the worst in Justin Timberlake. If this were someone that I loved, I would say, oh my God, feel better. You're such a queen. Like, take the time you need. That's really sweet. That like 10 minutes before doors open. Like, that's amazing. Who's even there at that time? No one. It's so funny. Yeah, you can really like paint this in whatever way you want to. Like if this was Kelly Clarkson. Oh my God. I would say Kelly. She works so hard. She loves her fans so much. She must be so, so sick. I feel horrible for her. I wouldn't even want to go. I wouldn't even want this. Yeah.
Keep my money. I wouldn't want to participate. Keep my money for your IV drip, okay? Yeah, so we're obviously like haters, so that's what you're seeing reflected here. This is such a neutral way of handling it. Like nothing really wrong happened. It's unfortunate. No, it's a little too soon. Minutes before. You need to give people time. What if it was Kelly? She was pushing through to the end, and then the doctor came in and said, Kelly, you can't.
Well, the thing is, I can speak hypothetically because it was in Kelly. So if it was Kelly, I would also say, girl, give people a little bit more time. But I know if we were actually recording an episode and it was Kelly, I would be like... The thing is...
You know what it comes down to? It's like my Karen Huger blind spot. It comes down to trusting your faves. No, because if Kelly did this, I would say like, she must have been so sick. She must have wanted to go on so badly. And they literally were, they were holding her back from the stage. Because I know that's Kelly's work ethic. Now, Justin Timberlake is not my fave. I don't trust him. I don't know that he's always trying to like do the best thing. That's why I can't say the same.
Yeah, no. And we actually have recent proof that he's not always trying to do the best thing where he literally drove under the influence after having a couple of martinis in Sag Harbor. So I know that decision making isn't his strong suit. Let's be real. That's what I learned from the great Justin Timberlake DUI. Well, you know, I would have been in the front row and I would have been really upset. We take all the time you need.
Yes, I heard Karen Huger is thriving in jail. She's there already. She's been booked. Yeah. Okay. I think she'll she'll do okay. I hope. Yeah. I hope they're filming like at some point. Someone somewhere. But yeah, like there's a camera somewhere. Although she didn't show up for the last reunion. And I thought it was like implied that she wasn't returning. But I can't imagine she would have turned down whatever paycheck they were offering her to cover this part of her life. You know what?
It's time to throw that rule out the window for Karen. I like sometimes I'm throwing a lot of rules out the window. Like sometimes it's a hard and fast rule. Like you don't answer for your sense of the reading. You're not on the next season. Sometimes you're Karen Huger. And like, seriously, sometimes you're Mary Cosby. I'll wipe my ass with this rule. Right. And sometimes you're Adrian Maloof. Blacklisted forever. And the rule wiped its ass with you. Right. So I just think different strokes for different folks. How about that?
- Yeah, I wanna normalize. - How about inconsistencies? - Yeah, normalize being inconsistent 'cause people are always like, especially I got like a lot of backlash for my Karen Huger take and people were like, so annoying to see Claudia. Like, I know, I feel that, but I just wanna say, do not come to me looking for like consistency in all my thoughts and opinions when it comes to celebrities or just like random things. Like I have my faves, I have people I hate, like I'm really mean to people I hate and I'm really lenient with people that I like. Kelly Clarkson could seriously like drunk drive and kill me.
And I wouldn't care. Like, I just, I'm sorry. I have my faves. And I, yes, I am an inconsistent hypocrite. Ah, okay. I don't fucking care. No, it's important to have rules. And then also, like anything else, there are exceptions to the rule. Like, there just are. Rules for thee and not for me. Rules for thee and not for Karen Huger and Kelly Clarkson. Correct. Yeah, well, we need to make a list of people who the rules, like the regular rules don't apply to. The notebook is out. It's for eye dairies. Okay. Okay.
This will be called Those to Whom the Rules Don't Apply. Can you find your pen? I'm scared. I can't find my pen. Oh, my gosh. Oh, hopefully you didn't take the cap off and it's leaking all over your new chair. No, no, no. That's not what's happening. Do you want me to write it down on my phone and we can transcribe it later? You could start while I'm scrambling. I need to find my pen because it is mightier than the sword. It's not. What did you want the pen... Rules to Whom... Rules to Whom...
Those to whom the rules don't apply. The rules don't apply. Karen Huger.
Kelly Clarkson. Who else? And this isn't just like a list of our favorite people. It's just different. Like it's, we're not going to start going. It's not like dream guests. Taylor's my favorite, but like if Taylor Drunk can drive, like I actually might have some harsh words for her. I completely agree. Because she's so influential. She shouldn't be knowing better than that. And like a younger person, like really knows how to call an Uber more than an older person. Agreed. There are so many things. Okay. Leave it. No, no. I think we just leave it at that and we let it build. Yeah. We'll kind of let the chips fall where they may be.
So we're foolishly meant to Justin Timberlake. I actually, I don't know if you guys can hear I'm coming down with a little something. Not again. I know, but I do think because I had like the big bad flu, it shouldn't be as bad. It's giving antibodies. It is. Hopefully, hopefully they kick in. Are you ready for our next story? A little sports news.
Sports? Travis Kelsey confirmed that he is not retiring. He said he can't go out like that. He has confirmed he will not retire after 12 years in the league. He told Pat McAfee, I'm coming back for sure. Going to try and get to the best shape I've been in this offseason and get back to the mountaintop. Got a real bad taste in my mouth with how I played in the last game and how I got the guys ready for battle. I can't go out like that. So he will be back for his 13th season. 13th.
No, I think this is the right choice. Like he could have retired. Like he's at a place where he's done enough age wise. Like he could have, but I understand a not wanting to go out like that. B him and his team are at a point where like they still can win another Superbowl. They should have almost won this one. Like it wasn't like, you know, impossible. So I think that he can go out with another Superbowl win. And if he is like spending the next year, committing himself to like peak season,
physical, mental toughness. Like no one's more prepared, like down and has, you know, experience doing that than Taylor. Like that's her thing, right? That's true. He can't go out like that. This is his era's tour. He needs one more season where he's going to play worse.
Well, that's the thing. You always run the risk. Of course. Of Aaron Rodgers-ing it. The good news, though, is that even if he plays bad again, like he's on such a good team that his mistakes are kind of hidden. They won't have a horrible season, even if they don't win the Super Bowl. He's not one of the players like a Tom Brady where if he sucks, the whole team sucks. Right. The team will have a respectable season. So even if it's not his best, like it'll be a fine way to go out. Although I do want to say it's not a terrible way to go out.
If you made it to the Super Bowl. Now, the way they lost was really bad, but you still made it to the Super Bowl. So I don't think it's like the most embarrassing way to go out. Like what happened to Aaron Rodgers and the Jets? Like that's embarrassing. Right, but he didn't retire. Did he, Aaron Rodgers? Well, I don't know what he's going to do, but I assume retirement is in his future like sometime soon. And you went to another team to like revive it very much like Brady and the Buccaneers. And not only did you get injured on day one.
You never won a game and then you got dropped. Like that's embarrassing. You know what I think about a lot? What? Like how much does Aaron Rodgers hate that guy who broke his ankle? Oh, that's so funny. I don't feel like he would because he came back and he got another chance. No, but it like ruined his season. And he sunk it up. Like ruined the most, like he had big things planned for this stage of his life. And like that guy in one fell swoop like.
And I'm sure Aaron sees the bright side now is all meant to happen. But like if I were Aaron, I would fucking hate that person. That's so funny. When you get injured...
As an athlete, do you blame the person who was it not? I don't know. But like if it's not clean, I would. I wonder if they have men don't like hold as much like grudges. No, like Jason Street from Friday Night Lights. Like, yeah, he ended up with a lot of resentment towards the person who injured him because he became paralyzed. Like, but when you're in the sport and getting injured, it's just sort of like a rite of passage. It happens a lot. You're out for a couple of games. You're out for a season. I don't know if you take umbrage with like every person who injures you. I think that's like a toxic mentality. Big one.
I don't know. I don't know. I feel like I would be mad. Would you be mad? Well, like it's circumstantial. Like if I'm DeMar Hamlin, like, yeah, I'm mad at the guy who like tackled me and put me into cardiac arrest. Like it's different varying degrees. I feel like a torn Achilles is kind of like expected when you're 40 and in the NFL. So of course cardiac arrest would be like the highest. Up there with Jason Street being paralyzed. Yes. However, I think like Achilles tear. So say that's 10 out of 10.
Jason DeMar. I would say Achilles is like a seven. Yeah, that's pretty high. Yeah, but it's not out of the ordinary. It is out of the ordinary to go into cardiac arrest on the field and to end up paralyzed. No, it's not out of the ordinary, but it's like, it's one of the worst things. It's a sports injury. It's what you're signing up for. I don't know. I feel like it's like worse than ACL.
No, I think it's ACL. You think it's ACL? Like it's up there. Yeah. And so I think if Aaron like walks around with this chip on his shoulder mad at the guy who injured him, like that's a toxic trait of Aaron's because I don't think it's warranted. I think when you get into sports, like you understand you're going to get injured and you can't be mad at every person who injures you unless you go into cardiac arrest or are paralyzed. I would include Achilles and ACL in that as well. Oh, I wouldn't. Anything that requires like, yeah, serious surgery and like out for the season. Surgery is like so classic. Like everybody gets surgery when they're athletes. Out for the season.
I disagree. Wow, that's big of you, Turdy. If anybody knows any football players, like, please sound off in the comments. Do they hold grudges? By the way, I know football players. Okay, do they hold grudges? Should I ask? Kyle, you check. Yeah. Say, hypothetically, and I feel like it would have to be, like, a non-clean. Non-clean.
Kyle, as a football player, I have a question for you, period. I'm doing research for a podcast episode, period. When you get injured, do you hold any resentment or anger towards the person who is responsible for your injury? Like the person on the other team who tackled you and ended up breaking your ankle? Is this a dumb question? No, it's just like if he hasn't experienced that, maybe he doesn't know. Has he had like almost a career-ending injury? Can you Google it? I don't want to be stupid and ask him a question that like,
It's like a big part of his career and I don't know it. Right, right, right. Okay, Kyle used check injuries. A finger, knee. Do you hate them, question mark? Or you just understand it's par for the course in this line of work? He suffered knee injuries. He missed time in 20. He had like standard, you know? Yeah, like I feel like he probably has a healthy outlook. Okay. I'm asking, but let me read it one more time because I'm actually embarrassed of this question. Kyle. Okay.
As a football player, I have a question for you. Does that make it sound like I'm a football player? I'm just going to say, Kyle, I have a question for you. Obviously, he's a football player. He knows that. I don't need to tell him. I'm doing research for a podcast episode. Not me acting like I'm like Huberman. I'm doing research that I'm actively recording. When you get injured, do you hold any resentment or anger towards a person who is responsible for your injury? When you get a serious injury. When you get seriously injured. Can you say when a player, because of, like. When a player gets seriously injured. Yeah. Yeah.
Do you hold any resentment or anger towards the person who is responsible for your injury? Like the person on the other team who tackled you and ended up breaking your ankle? Question mark. Do you hate them or you just understand that it's part for the course in this line of work? I think that's a good text. Can you also add like, and what if it wasn't a clean hit? Does that change things? I feel like there's not really room for nuance in this already long text message. Like,
I kind of just want to send it. Send it, fire it off. But he's on the West Coast. Fire Jackie. Fire, well, it's off season. I don't think he's on the West Coast. Oh. Fire it off or delete the whole thing. Claudia, fire it off. Like if you can't like use your friendship with him to learn critical information. Then what am I doing here? Yeah. And plus you want to know more about your friend. Yeah, that's a good question. I think so.
And people in the comics would be like, my husband plays in an intramural flag football league. And he said, we're not talking about that. No, we're talking about the pros. This is your career. And it could be career ending. You can't play for the season. I want to know. So Travi is back in the big game next season. We'll see you rocking the stage at Arrowhead. Precisely. Are you ready for our next story? Christina Hall.
is expressing some regret over not signing a prenup with her third husband, Josh. So Christina Hall, so this is a confluence of our favorite things. Christina, Tariq. El Moussa Hack. Heather. HGTV. And also, is she going by Christina Hall? Right now she's Christina Hall, yeah. Because I didn't know who you were talking about. She is, to me now she's Christina Hack. El Moussa and Steg. Hall. Hall.
Christina Hall regrets not signing a prenup with her estranged husband, Josh Hall. The HGTV star spoke candidly about her third divorce during a conversation with her friend Cassie in Wednesday's episode of The Flip-Off. Like, of course, The Flip-Off, making news always. Making news again. She said, oh my God, it's crazy. He wants to retire off of me. Honestly, if I would have really understood the repercussions of all of this, I would have gotten a prenup or I never would have married him. I feel like one of the benefits of being married so many times is that you do understand the repercussions. So I'm shocked.
I'm shocked to learn that A, she didn't sign a prenup and B, she's like regretting and wishing she did. Yeah. She said that he's tried to steal some of her assets, including ATVs and quad bikes from her home in Tennessee. She said, it's so, so confusing for me why someone would want to do that to me, especially someone that didn't have to work for a few years. She alleged that he's taking advantage of her by making asinine settlement offers that would result in her paying him more money. She said, it's exhausting. I just can't wait for it to be done, but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. So.
So, and then also- I hate to kick someone when they're down, but Christina should know better. Oh, true. But also, but you don't feel strongly about man leeching off of woman? Oh, I do. I do. I'm holding space for two truths. Like-
he gives Kelly Clarkson's ex-husband energy, like was looking for a wealthy woman to leech off of. And even in divorce is still trying to milk her dry. At least that man had kids with Kelly. So he had like a little bit of a leg to stand on. This guy has like seriously no grounds. And he's like a grifter. So I'm holding space for that. And there's also just something icky about like a man who wants to like take money from a woman, get a job. But also like, I'm kind of tsk tsk at Christina Hack. Like, yeah.
The whole joke of the seven husbands of Christina Hall is like, she's had a million marriages and she's going to have a million more. And we love that for her. She's a hopeless romantic. But you are supposed to learn something from every marriage. Yeah, you should have a stack of boilerplate prenups in your desk. First marriage was Tarek. And obviously they split things 50-50. But that was like the most, that was where they built their business together. They had kids together. So them splitting everything in half was completely fair. Yeah.
Then was she ever married to Aunt Annstead or they were like engaged? And married from 2018 to 2021. So I feel like he has his own career. She had her own career and they were like happy to like come in and leave with what they came in with. Like it would have been too messy to start poking at each other's businesses. Yeah. So perhaps this is the first time she's been with a man who's not as wealthy or wealthier than her. And she hadn't learned this lesson yet that this can happen.
Yeah right because she kind of got lucky in the last two. Yeah so when you think about it like that it makes sense like this is almost like it's not like it's happened twice to her like it's her first time and now going forward with Christopher LaRocca. Oh right she's engaged again or just dating. They are dating but he's a businessman so maybe she doesn't want to prenup.
Maybe she wants some of that Loraca fortune. Right. She's going from dating somebody with less money than her to now dating somebody with much more money than her. Hopefully if his business is as booming as we thought, I think it might be. I think it will be big. Huge. Christina's got her finger on the pulse of that stuff. Except for Josh. I'm just checking to see if Kyle texts me. I'm like feeling embarrassed. Oh, I have a text. No, I think it's a great text. Like wanting to. He said, Hey, Claudia, that's a great question.
There's no resentment unless there's like a cheap shot outside of the rules, like a helmet to helmet hit or a hit after the whistle. So you're right. That's speaking for me, but I think the vast majority would agree. Extremely helpful. Could you ask him, like on the record, do you think, let him know it's on the record that you're going to share his answer. Okay, helpful. And Kristen said, because I put it in a group chat with Kristen, she said, that's actually an amazing question. Okay, helpful. Thank you.
Could you say on the record, do you think Aaron Rodgers holds a grudge against the guy who broke his heel? Do you think Aaron Rodgers holds a grudge against the guy who broke his heel? The guy who broke his Achilles heel? You could say we're recording live. Like we're currently recording. You don't have to answer, period. We are currently recording. Period. We are currently recording. I'm excited. You got to give people like a heads up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not everyone's Ben and knows that everything that you text him is fodder for the show.
- So true. - How is Ben? - Why, what'd you hear? - Nothing, I just like, you haven't talked about him in like a day. - It's 'cause it's been a hard week for us. It's been 50 degrees in New York and Ben has been like golfing in the middle of February. It's been hard.
I'm sorry to hear that. Did you see the reel that I sent you? I did. You didn't watch it. You are sending, I watched the entire thing. You are sending me reels propaganda. At first, Jackie sent me this reel and I almost turned it off because it was this girl being like, my husband golfs. He loves to golf. It makes him so happy. We have three kids on our board. And I let him do it every single weekend. And here's why.
And I was like, oh, this is a joke, obviously. But then she was saying like, no, on the days that he golfs, like he has to wake up early, take the kids to breakfast, spend the entire day with them, put them down for a nap, do all the work and then go once they're napping, then go golf for like four, five hours while they nap for two. And then I have to do the rest three hours. But he did everything up until that point. And I had all that time to myself. And then he'll pick up dinner on the way home from golf.
Right. So basically like it was her life hack being like, I don't take care of my kids all Saturday, but my husband gets to golf. I got it. I thought it was propaganda because she is in a unique situation, the woman in the reel, because her husband golfs for four hours. My husband has never golfed for four hours in his life. He makes it a whole day. They go to the spa, the locker room, they have lunch, they go to the range, they have cocktails, like
It's a whole, like he loves golf, but he loves the whole environment. Going in and out for a couple of holes, that doesn't do it for him. So her husband- You couldn't compromise with him and say like, you can golf today, but like just 18 holes period, like no spa, no goodies. Like I can-
But then that's not like what the lady in the reels was saying. It makes him so happy. No, she had a fucking gun to her head and like he was standing behind the camera with a gun. Like I didn't like it. Don't send me that propaganda. I didn't like it at all. Maybe it's because you guys also live far from the golf course. So all the driving, I thought she figured it out. Kyle Juszczyk said he would guess that Aaron Rodgers doesn't have any resentment. It was a pretty routine tackle. Okay, there we go. Thank you.
extraordinarily helpful, can't thank you guys enough, period.
I just feel like these are the questions Pat McAfee should be asking to Aaron directly. Maybe he does and I missed it. Yeah, I mean, it's amazing what you can miss when you don't watch someone's show ever. I just feel like if Aaron said, like, I fucking hate that guy, it'd be headline news. Well, yeah, Aaron, if he did, we should have known because if Aaron did hate the guy who tackled him, he would have given him a nickname and started hating him, going on Pat McAfee, like dragging him and his family. So we should have known because we didn't hear any of that, that he was probably cool with it. I just want to know who it was.
I'm so glad Kyle and Kristen thought that was like not a dumb question. I was like actually feeling major regret and embarrassment. No, I actually feel like it's a very insightful question. Like you want to know the emotions of your friends. Fun fact, Kyle Juszczyk went to Harvard. Isn't that crazy? I knew that from you. From my fun fact, from the fact queen. You call me fat? I heard fat. I said fact queen.
I posted a picture today on my Instagram story of like you and I looking cute to promote the fact that our new theme song is available to stream on music streaming platforms. And I got like a lot of responses from people like, oh my God, slay jawline. Oh my God, you were so thin.
Actually, I've seen people like make TikToks and social media posts about things you should never say to a pregnant woman. And I'm like, nobody says that. They fucking do. That's crazy. It was multiple. And maybe people thought it was like a recent photo and they're congratulating me on looking good recently. But it was clearly an old photo. Yeah. Well, or maybe like that's what they think that you look like. And like you do look like that. You don't look so dissimilar.
I really do. It's fine. You don't have to like, I'm on camera every day. Like I know. No, I'm trying to hold space for like your toxic mentality with this because I'm sure I was the same like when I was first pregnant. I don't remember you talking about it a lot, but you like, you did feel this way, but you weren't always talking about it. But were you thinking about it all the time? Cause I think about it pretty much every minute of every day. Maybe, maybe. Yeah. But over time, like it's just, you'll change your point of view about it.
So I'm just trying to listen and not judge. I love that. We listen and we don't judge. Even though I have a lot of things I want to say to you.
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Over eight times the national average savings account interest rate claim is based on data from the FDIC as of November 18th, 2024. Robinhood Financial LLC, member SIPC, gold membership is offered by Robinhood Gold LLC. Our next story is some more kids programming news. Big Peppa News yesterday. Big Spidey News today. SpongeBob is pregnant. Okay.
SpongeBob is pregnant. No. Spidey and his amazing friends has been renewed for season five at Disney Junior after a big ratings win. Don't you feel like Spidey and his amazing friends is like taking over? I feel like a kid show hasn't been this popular in so long. No, literally, I'd never hear of it outside of you and your family. I leave your house and I leave the Spideyverse. Really? I'm just curious. And I'm not complaining at all because you do an amazing job. But are we like now a kids programming update? Is this like a new category we're covering? I don't know.
Like I understood the Peppa Pig. We literally spoke on nurseries for 30 minutes. We popped off with Peppa Pig yesterday, like one of our most popular clips. Like maybe we just need to go where the wind takes us, Turdy. I'm not complaining at all. And I understood Peppa. I understood this one like a little bit less. Um.
But again, it maybe just is not my sphere. Do you want to hear like details about Gene Hackman's wife being mummified? Because that was the other option. Got it. Okay. So all you had to say was that like this is what we were left with on a Friday. I had two stories up. I was going to ask you which one you prefer. But then I'm like, I don't want to gamify the mummification. I'm never going to tell you how to do your job. I was just asking because we haven't had like an offline conversation. Yeah, I think the people like it. Listen, I happen to think Spider-Verse is a piece of shit.
I hate Spidey. I hate his amazing friends. I hate Ghostbiter. The only one I don't hate is Tracy. I hate the music associated with this show. I hate the books associated with this show. How do you hate the music? Because when I'm at your house, like, actually, do you want to know why? Yeah, I just asked.
I associate it with my first trimester, like being nauseous. You're like when I was at your house on repeat on my Sonos and your kids like, let's read the Sandman. Let's read the Sandman. And I just think I automatically feel nauseous. That's why I'm glad I got down to the bottom of it. It reminds me of a time where I felt like crap and I was like taking naps and feeling averse to. And then we went to the arrow store and I felt so sick. Like,
Like I'm associating that negative time with that one book in particular in the Spidey universe in total. Yeah, go Ebsco. Oh, please. Like I actually just felt a chunk of food rise in my throat. Like go Ebsco. That's such a shame because I feel like
Spidey could be something that's like big in your house one day, especially because of the soundtrack. And like Ben will love as much as you can love a kid soundtrack. Like Ben would will love Spidey. Maybe I'll get over it by then. I don't know. Okay. Well, if I know not then at end, like I'd known your distaste for Spidey and his amazing friends. I maybe would. They're not amazing either. That's the thing. And aunt may, um, who's like in charge of like these three kids. She's never around. Yeah. She's gone.
Like definitely somebody needs to call CPS. She's always leaving these really young kids out on their own in like really dangerous cities with dangerous criminals like the Goblin. - The criminals like constantly wanna exterminate Spidey and his friends and like the entire town. And then they always thwart them and then just let them off the hook. Like there's no real justice. That's what bothers me. - Where's crime and punishment? - Why are you giving them another chance to rob the bank and the hotdog stand? - To get away. - Put them behind bars, call it a day and live in peace.
And it's an important like lesson for kids to learn. Like there are repercussions for your actions, but not for the Sandman, not for the Green Goblin. They just get away and they get to do bad things again. Doc Ock? Like she's a bitch. I'm not familiar with Doc Ock and I'm so glad. Please don't tell me anything more about her. You wouldn't like her. But anyways, what's actually really remarkable about Spidey and his amazing friends, like I feel like it's like a rebooted version of Spider-Man like for the children. And I,
I have not seen like a reboot have this much success. Like it's crushing it. It's really crushing it. Five seasons. A Walk to Remember is being rebooted. That could top Spidey. It could. Although I don't know how you reboot like a movie. You're just making it again? We're going to run it back. And Mandy Moore is still an actress and could still be Jamie. And I feel like they're going to make it like very modern. Like instead of having cancer, she's going to have like Lyme disease or something, you know?
No. No, I don't know. Like, I wouldn't like that change. I often think about that line from A Walk... I mean, I think a lot about A Walk to Remember, but... He was like the wind. I could...
Couldn't see him. Her. Actually, he's talking about her after she died. Her love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it. I hope that when they do re-imagine it, it's to a T. I feel like I could see them changing some of the themes because it's obviously very pro-religion.
- Oh, is it 'cause her dad's a pastor and like, oh, and then he ends up finding Jesus. - Like he's with his Bible and he's been found. - Yeah, yeah, well they need to leave it. Yeah, you're right, you're right. - But I could see them like doing away with that and instead he's like manifesting his dream, like stop it. - They're replacing Jesus with manifestation for sure. - Keep the Bible in A Walk to Remember. - Now who's the heart, like the young heartthrob? Who's the Shane? That's his name, right? - I feel like I know three young actors. Of course, Noah Centennial comes to mind.
Jacob Elordi. Wait, Jackie, it's actually a good call, Noah Centennial, like the bad boy turned priest. Jacob Elordi and Austin Butler. He's not right for it. No, they're not right for it. You need someone who's, because they're high schoolers. Yeah. Wait, I really like Noah Centennial. And then who's the Mandy Moore? She has to sing and she has to be like this young ingenue. Olivia Radley, though.
Okay, by the way, that's a really good call. Like I could see it. She obviously has acting history. She sings, Pardalee. And she has like a nice voice for like a girl who just like gets on stage and is like, no, I'm afraid. Yeah, it's giving her character in High School Musical. And then who is like the really strict dad priest? Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid's a little old to be a Libby Rodriguez dad. I was going to say he's too old to have a daughter in high school. Should it be Mason Disick? No.
Should it be? How old are you when you have a daughter in high school? You're like 40. Yeah. Kind of like the dad a little bit from White Lotus. Claudia, Jason Street. Oh, Scott Porter, yeah. Scott Porter. Parchee. Parchee. Wait, we just absolutely crushed this. And that's like the only other character, right? Like she has the friends, like the mean group of friends, but I don't need to. That like, yeah, that mean girl who like she stole like Shane from. Yeah, yeah. Just that could be like a regular mean girl. Okay. Wait, and wait.
Joshua Bassett has to be Shane. He could be. He could be. I'm so down. This movie sounds amazing. I'll always remember.
She would kill it. The late afternoon. Yeah. Like that soundtrack, that movie, Only Hope. Only Hope like actually changed our DNA cells. Yeah. I don't, I know the movie was really popular and I know the song was really popular too, but I don't think that particular song had as much of an impact on our generation as it did on us specifically. Like we, we,
loved that fucking song. - I think it, what I've learned, you know, we've, a lot of us have had the same experiences. Like I think a lot of people had that experience with that song, like in a good way. - Oh, okay. Oh yeah, that's good. - I think it was hard to hear that song and like not be changed. ♪ So I lay my head down ♪ The first time I saw that movie, I was choking on my own sobs. Like I was so upset. - It's a lot. - Yeah, and that opening scene with that kid. - At the water tower.
Yeah, where he like hits a pipe. Oh my God, just devastating. There's a lot of big themes. A lot of big reboot news, essentially. A lot of big reboot news. So that's a twofer. Yeah, I love that. We'll add it to the story. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? It's a little fashion news. A new trend has emerged at Milan Fashion Week and we actually called this one.
We did? Models are bearing their butt cracks at Milan Fashion Week. Oh, no. And style gurus are outraged, saying, I do not want to live in that world. Low-rise jeans are back, and there's no butts about it. At Milan Fashion Week, Diesel debuted its fall-winter 2025 collection featuring a gregiously low denim cut in which models bared their butt cracks. So there's a stream of models walking down the runway in low-rise jeans plus crack.
And this just proves to you that butt cracks are ugly because models are supposed to have like the most beautiful of everything. And even their butt cracks are ugly. Sometimes it's like, yeah, it's kind of a crazy look, but it looks good on a model. You know, it's not going to look good on a regular person who has like a hairy butt crack.
Yeah, and so it doesn't even look good on models. This doesn't bode well. The only time I've ever enjoyed seeing crack, and I didn't even see crack, is when Hailey Bieber wore like that really low dress. But it was like a fake, and they put like a diamond thong in it. That was really party, but we didn't see her butt crack. So my stand, my point stands. Butt cracks are not attractive. Even of the elite fashion European, your butt cracks are just as ugly as mine. It makes me feel good that I don't have like a particularly ugly butt crack.
I kind of have like a big crack. In what sense? Tall? Long? Deep. Oh, well that is not visible to the eye. Yeah, no, it kind of, it's something you need to feel to believe. Right. Which obviously I have. Okay, show it off. Pop off, crack. Pop off, crack-tia.
And I feel like the fashion community, like they're always trying to like push boundaries and they do like radical things and it's always applauded as like art or whatever. And I kind of love that this happened and the fashion editors and the people at large are not down for it. Like I really feel like they they're running out of bits to show, you know, like because pretty much people walk around naked, but they do wear on these. Not anymore.
Here's crack. - What's next, labia? La vaginaplasty. - Yeah, but then not everyone has that. So what's next, dong? - Is that penis? - Yeah. - What's next, dong? Like, you seriously live on a different planet. - Dong? And I think you're getting confused 'cause I think you're thinking of schlong. - I think I'm thinking of dong. - You're thinking of like dick and schlong, dong. - Dong meaning. - Is it there? No.
The deep resonant sound of a large bell. No, dong definition from Merriam-Webster. No, I guess it would be an urban dictionary. Wait, but Merriam said dick. Penis dong. Usually vulgar. Penis dong. Penis is here. I think you meant schlong because I think you're just getting lucky. No, no, no. Schlong is like a different energy. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I actually like the energy that schlong emits. It's very like...
- Yeah, it's like schlongy. But I actually like the energy of dong. - Yeah, right. I'm thinking of, of course, like a bell. - Right. Now I just, I need to know if there are other people who think this is- - I think you should take the W and just run with it. - Etymology online says penis.
Okay, they didn't mince words over there. Penis, 1891 slang of unknown origin, perhaps suggested by dingus and other names for unnameable things. Shall we dive into the Southern Charm recap where you just pretty much tell me everything that happens? I also can't believe last week you did not...
bring up the scene because it came up for me all over social media and like now I'm obsessed with the scene where Shep has like the actual balls to recite to Austin the text message he wrote to Sienna is that her name yeah um and like the pure cringe of that moment like the the verbal diarrhea and then like Austin's reaction it was so funny Claudia he recites it to everyone
Oh, no. Last night he recited it to Molly, like the girl that he likes him, who everyone knows likes him. And he knows that she likes him. That text, if I hear freckled lips one more time. If I hear freckled lips one more time, I'm going to have to turn this off. But last night was like really bad for Shep and Sienna's relationship. We're still in the Bahamas. What's going on with Shep and Sienna is that like he sent the text. He's spiraling. They went out that night after dinner.
the dinner she went home early with a stomachache like the night before or something and the boys went gambling Shep got kicked out of the casino for being too drunk there were no cameras on at this point then when the boys go back to the room Shep's not there they're looking for Shep for two hours they can't find Shep Shep fell asleep on a pool lounge and
and then made his way to the room and like realized that he had like hit rock bottom that like he's literally sleeping on the beach because of this girl. That's not good. The next morning he wakes up. They're all going on a boat. Sienna is coming on the boat. And Craig's like, why is she coming on the boat? Like, why? Like she doesn't like a good question. Craig even FaceTime's Paige. So Paige can be on the phone and say she doesn't like you. Like girl talk. She doesn't like like literally everyone's yelling at Shep. She doesn't like you. And like Shep. But he won't hear a word of it. So it's like he will. And he knows that. But he's.
being a little like I guess it's like sweet but he's in his 40s so it's not where it's like well I don't care like I this is how I feel like I love her like I'm gonna fight for I'm not just gonna like you know pretend like I don't care anymore because I do care like and he so he really just wants her around and on the boat even if she doesn't want to be there which is like it's very naive and would be sweet in someone else but not but this is his first experience with something like this even though he's 40 like it is his first
We all remember our first. - Right, right. No, and we're all just doing life for the first time. - Meanwhile, they walk down to the boat and she texts, "I'm running late, go without me." - I'm not coming. - And he was like, "Well, wait." She said, "I don't know how long I'm gonna be. I'll meet up with you guys at dinner."
So he was like... So she cancels. Yeah. But not even well enough to cancel. Be like, I'm not coming. I'm going to be too late. Like leading him on. Like, oh, if we wait, then you can come. Right. Just be a little bit more definitive. Right. And then he's going to stay back. They all go on the boat and...
Thankfully he decides he walks down the plank as they're about to leave and he gets on the boat thankfully because they had a really nice day like at Rose Beach with Shep Rose. They were all joking it's Shep's beach. Like so sad how they have to cheer him up. They try so hard. Madison actually had like a nice conversation with her because she's a queen and she's benevolent even though like Shep was so fucking nasty to her for so many years when she dated Austin. Like she's going to put it aside for a moment. It's easy to be a queen when you're so happy and like in your own life. While also still holding important grudges. However like Shep is not
her enemy, you know? Yeah. And he's not a problem right now. Like, I don't know who her is, but not him. She like was giving him like good advice, like that he deserves to be loved. Like, this is not it. And then like, she was like, do you really? Cause he said, last time I was here with Sienna, we drove past that house and she said she wants me to buy it for her. And it's like a $10 million house. And, and Madison was like, I think maybe like you're just not rich enough for her. Like that might just be it. And he was like, yeah, I think so. Which is so crazy. Cause he like does have to admit. Yeah. No. And like he,
comes from like generational wealth um so that was sad then JT JT is spiraling I think this might be JT's last episode on the show because he finally makes it after like missing all of his flights he comes to a dinner him and Craig are fighting they're actually having like a fight that started out like strong and now it's like Craig is misremembering some of like there's this big issue where he told the whole group that JT called Miss Patricia a bitch
during a conversation that the entire conversation was filmed and there was no footage of that.
oh shit yeah and then also Craig told Madison that JT was like insinuating some weird things about JT and Madison which he was but now it's like well did you use the word affair he didn't use the word affair and it's like who cares about the word affair he was insinuating that like the husband called him to make sure nothing was going on it's also just annoying in a situation like this like why don't we all sit around watch the tape and then we can talk about it again because like spending time remembering is so annoying yeah and JT's just like not a worthy adversary meanwhile like
So I think that he then Vanita goes to his room and like tries to make out with him, even though he like told her he had a girlfriend. So that was like really weird. She keeps doing that. Yikes. Yeah. Yeah. But I think JT is going to leave the trip. And I think that's it for him on the show. Because at some point he quits the show in the middle of the show. Right. I think this might be it. The dinner wasn't even that bad for him. Shep actually had his back being like, I don't remember JT saying that. Mostly because he's just like completely in his own head.
Some people can't cut it. Yeah. Like if you couldn't handle that dinner, that was really like nothing. This shows this isn't the life for you. Beyond that next week, Shep and Sienna will finally talk. It's like that night after the boat. And like, he's going to be like, we were in love three weeks ago. And she was like, no, we weren't. Yeah. It's time to end it. And that's what you missed on Southern Cherm.
Thanks so much for keeping me up. I literally like, I watched the show. Do you know what I mean? Oh, I also wanted to mention some rumors because people are saying, I saw, I don't know if there's any truth to this, that like Craig and Sally have been spotted together. And she was on Watch What Happens Live, asked about it. Cause they were spotted out at Nobu. And she was like, like, yeah, we went to Nobu, but his friend was there. His assistant was there. Like it wasn't the two of us. She didn't say it wasn't a date though. She just said we weren't alone. Like, I feel like there's something to note about that. Something noteworthy for sure.
And I just want to say like my initial reaction, I'm not like, oh my God, ship. They have to be together. Like, but I feel like I could maybe get there. I just like don't know Sally well enough, but like. Also, maybe it's just like one of the things you need to do to like get over your ex. Like. I just want to say like my initial reaction is not ship. It's not anti, but it's not like if Craig was stepping out with Rachel Kirkconnell. Right. Even though Sally seems fab and she changed her hair color in the off season and it really suits her. She's totally a winter. Yeah.
And we're totally due for Queenie and Weenie of the Week, our final segment of the week where Jackie and I like to just sort of take a look at the week at a glance, give out two awards, Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week. They're pretty self-explanatory. Did you act like a Queenie this week and did you act like a Weenie this week? If you did, you might find yourself here on the toast at the end of Friday's episode as a Queenie of the Week. So for Queenie, I think it's pretty obvious. I think we could say on the count of three who our Queenie is. One, two, three. Becca. Becca, yeah. The...
Toaster who wrote and won our theme song competition series. I feel like her work was finally put on display this week. Our vocal abilities obviously were kind of like sub-Queenies, but she really did exactly what we were looking for. People are loving it. We wouldn't have had this amazing week without Becca. It's so true. Like the theme song is very Queenie, like is a nominee, but then when you really boil it down, like it's Becca who wrote the theme song. Who's responsible. So Becca is the Queenie.
I'm glad we agree. I think we might agree on weenie too. My weenie of the week. And I think that people are going to be shocked, but listen, I am like, I am woman enough to admit like having four DUIs is definitely a not, we'll get you nominated for weenie of the week, Karen Huger. I'm glad she's paying the price, but I also don't think I knew that she had four. Like I didn't even know that this wasn't her first. So if she had just like gotten a DUI, would she have been my weenie of the week? Maybe not, but that's because she's on that list. But with her fourth, I,
That's really uncool. Like I'm woman enough to say that. I thought about Karen Huger and just the last minute one came to me as I'm looking through former weenies. And actually my weenie of the week is going to be Sutton Strack for literally like the really lowest form of insult on Real Houses of Beverly Hills. Like it's giving weenie behavior. I like that.
I like that a lot. So Real Housewives, two for two on the weenies. I need to find my pen and write this down or else we're going to forget. You're kind of lost without it. We will be lost in the anals of history. Yeah, we will. Oh, I've been looking for this. We'll be lost in the butt cracks of history. I wonder what else is lost in the cracks of these chairs. This chair is very deep. I do wonder what is inside of them.
Correct. And on that note, thank you so much for a pargy week. And thank you so much for listening to the Toast the Melania Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We are also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where you listen to podcasts. Find us at Toast. Leave a five star review about how beautiful, about how stunning, and of course, about how wickedly talented we are. Have an amazing weekend and we will see you on Monday. Love you.