Christmas With The Hanks: Friday, November 15th, 2024
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Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to The Toast and happy Friday. Just pat yourselves on the back. Congratulations. Congratulations, Class of 2004. We did it! Congrats, grads. We are graduates of this week, which I think is probably like the 48th, 44th week of the year. And doesn't it feel like just yesterday that I sat on this show and was like, ah, it's

It was just Friday and now it's Monday. Like that day will be here before we know it. So make sure to just take a moment, acknowledge the space that you're in. It's Friday morning slash afternoon. We have so much goodness ahead of us. It will be gone before you know it. And you will be devastated that you didn't take a moment to appreciate and acknowledge the space that you're currently in. I'm appreciative of the space. You're appreciative?

But it's just like, it doesn't feel like a Friday anymore. Do you know what I mean? Maybe because my schedule is like off kilter. We had a crazy night last night. She was out at the clubs and literally left her kids at home. I went hard in the paint last night. You were literally out of your house at 9 p.m. Like, that's insane. I was, you guys, I was partying in Miami last night. Woo, woo. Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. No.

What made the thing so crazy is that I didn't leave my kids at home and my kids were with me. We went to this like really cool light festival. That's what I was talking about at the top. A lot of people thought there was a secret project reveal, but no, Jackie took her kids to a holiday lights festival. We went to a holiday lights festival. We were out so late. It was really, really cool, but really tiring. Went to bed late, just broken today. And now it's a Friday, which is a cause to celebrate. But like, I have a version of a hangover. Did you feel like you created a core memory for the kids? Yeah.

A hundred percent. Okay, mission accomplished. It was so cool. Nothing worse than like doing all this work, packing up the snacks, packing up the car, getting all the kids and like it's not even good. And that happens. And that's just like part of life. I thought this festival you were going to, like while I was excited for you, I was worrisome that it was going to be like a sort of Wonka thing.

type of like fake, like folding tables put together in the middle of Miami. So I was worried. So happy that it was not Wonka. It was extremely premium. If you're considering going to Luminosa in Miami, you should do it and definitely bring your kids. This is not the balloon museum because I'll tell you when not to go. You know where I thought you were going? Because it reminded me when we were kids growing up,

something we used to do was there are these neighborhoods in Southern Florida that are known for their Christmas lights and they put up like these really extravagant displays and people just come and drive through these neighborhoods like and take I thought that's what you were doing and I was so jealous. Well we can do that all season and also something that we used to do as kids

Is that like butterfly world or the trade winds? There are these like other light installations. These ones you drive through. It's just like drive through lighting experience. And that's really fun. We did that last year. We'll do it again. We don't have to get out of the car. This one like,

I should have worn workout clothes. I was working hard. I had like a total opposite type of evening. I started a book. I made myself mac and cheese. Yeah, I was eating like processed foods because Ben was gone and I had nobody to make me dinner. So it was fine. I survived. I had noodles. They say they have protein. Don't tell RFK. They say they have protein and fiber in it. So like I'm good.

Do you see those memes, like me going for a late night snack? Like, and then I think about RFK looking at me. That's funny. And I put it down. I can't relate to that. Like, I also, like, I feel about like processed foods and like the big food, industrial complex food. Like some days I'm like such a believer and I'm like, I have to eat from the ground. And other days I'm like, what, I'm supposed to upend my whole life? Like I have to eat. Right.

Like I feel like it just depends on the day, like how truly like lazy I'm feeling. - Yes, I understand that. Also, if you're an ingredient household, I'm sure you've seen the memes like,

going for a late night snack, but realizing like we're just an ingredient household. So it's like all the things to make a late night snack. I am definitely an ingredient household. And it's not even because, I think a lot of people end up ingredient households because like they don't consistently grocery shop. They eat out a lot. For me, it's like if any food comes into my house, it gets eaten. Except for like the bottles of ketchup. So like anything you could possibly eat has already been eaten by Ben or I. But you guys don't keep a stocked pantry. That is like an ethos. No, we do.

I feel like whenever I'm at your house, it's like need to have food is there. Well, isn't that like, what do you mean by that? Like you buy the snacks to eat it right then. Ask me if I have something and I'll tell you if I have it. Okay. Do you have Tostitos? Okay, not like that specific brand, but I have like Big Lays. No, but like chips and salsa. The thing with chips and salsa is like they get eaten. And we just had chili. Chili.

We just had chili. So no, I have Tostitos salsa, but not the chips. Okay, the chips got eaten. That's classic because the jar is bigger than the bag. The jar lasts forever. Maybe that's what RFK was talking about.

I've been recently going through jars. Like I find myself without my Tostitos salsa a lot and it's, and it puts me in a bad spot because I do know at some point I need to reevaluate Tostitos salsa. No, no. Listen, RFK will have to go through me if he wants to come for Tostitos. Like the thing is some items, no, seriously, I'll be so upset. Some items are worth it.

That really is the difference. Like, you know that they're not great for you, but you're like, you know what? I'm enjoying it too much. When it's like in everything, like not everything is that good. Not everything is worth, you know, the chemicals, but I'm sorry. Don't tell me shit about fuck about Tostitos. Like I'll be so upset. I'll feel sick. Nothing to tell you, by the way. I'm just saying like, I just know there's probably better ingredients, better salsa. I don't actually, I don't think that there is.

Maybe it doesn't taste as good. But that's what RFK is supposed to do. He's supposed to take the bad ingredients out of the Tostitos so we can enjoy our Tostitos guilt-free. It won't be good. Okay. Sorry, we need to have a conversation about all the bad things in food. That's what makes it taste good. Sorry. That you want to keep around. I'm not saying I want to keep around. I just think we have to be...

- I don't know, but look at you and Goodles. Look at you and Goodles. - Okay, so yeah, guys, I tried Goodles and I had it again for dinner last night, even though, you know, I was making it kind of, I was making it and I'm eating it and I'm like, it's good, but it tastes like a little dusty. Like, I don't know, it's just like something. And then this morning-- - Did you not mix the dust in properly? - No, I was mixing so hard and it like wasn't liquifying. And like, I put in a little bit of like a splash of water. I was like, come on, let's go. I ate it and it was fine, but it was chalky, you know?

And then this morning I was watching this girl on TikTok and she was making like mac and cheese for her kids. She was trying a new brand and she put in milk and I was like, oh my God, I forgot the milk. Like, no, I know. The ingredients are literally on the back. The recipe is on the back. Like the butter is optional. The butter is optional. Literally milk is the only non-optional one. Like, I don't know. I just like forgot. Yeah.

- I still ate the entire box. - Do you even have milk in your house? - I do, I do, for coffee and yeah, like when I go to the grocery store, I'm always picking up a bottle of skim, you know? - That's good. Milk was something I'd never had in my house before. Kids, 'cause I use half and half. - I think that growing up, like they teach you that milk is like so volatile and like, you know, spoiled milk, spoiled milk. Meanwhile, I got a box of milk in my fridge for like a month. Like, I don't know why they acted like it was gone in like less than a week.

Who is warning you about spoiled milk? Spoiled milk. I just feel like spoiled milk is like a thing. Like when you were kids, like you were always like afraid of like spoiled milk. Don't cry over spilled milk. Like I don't milk. I just feel like I have been conditioned to believe that milk is like extremely sensitive. Meanwhile, I got this box of milk carton. I swear to God, it's been in my fridge for a month and it's delicious. Do you feel that Carl? I feel it.

I do feel that cold, but I also feel like it's like, time feels so much longer when you're a kid. So like a month when you're a kid feels like a year. So you have to be careful. I just want to say. Whereas now, like you're much more aware of the days of the week and the time space continuum. We are like really turning into the good guys. Like every episode we start talking about food.

Really? Okay. We talked about meat yesterday. We're just like, I just feel like we're in our food era. It's fine. Lean in. It's the holidays. Everybody's going to be carrying a little holiday weight. It's so that time of year. I think I'm actually making a beef stew today if I can find the time. Oh my gosh. I was thinking about beef stew earlier this morning. I have some beef stew chunks that I took out of the freezer a few days ago. So like it's now or never. It's kind of like shitter get off the pot.

No, it's like, I don't want to waste this precious beef. And it is Shabbat. Like, why not a beef stew? Why not me? Are you worried about getting beef between your teeth? Yes, but I have really great floss teeth. Yeah, and it would be lost without your floss. And beef stew is worth getting beef between the teeth. I can't say that about everything. Okay, so that's what I'm saying about Tostitos. Like, some things are worth the journey. Yeah. I mean, I haven't replaced my Tostitos salsa yet, so...

Take that with a grain of salt. And it'll be the last thing I ever replace. How about that? Okay. Oh, you think so? And you know, I'm a little worried about RFK. I can't lie because I heard him say something about Ozempic. And he was like, listen, I think it's great because obviously like obesity is a huge problem in this country, but I really want to tackle like why? Of course, like this is a cause and effect type of thing. And I get it. But like if he touches a tiny hair on the head,

of ozempic he will hear from me i think until the root causes are tackled and the problem is solved we leave it he didn't say he was going to do anything about it but i am worried that is what i've heard like that is a counter argument i've heard to ozempic it's like okay it's not fixing the problem people are still eating like the bad food their insides are still not great and we're not

stopping the issue from continuing to happen. So I agree with, you know, the root cause. Ever since Lady Tan, I've just been such a root cause. And this is just my official message slash threat to Bobby. Do not come. Do not come.

to ozempic hq because i am the ceo and you are not welcome here leave it alone imagine do you imagine by the time i finally get around to getting to get out of those i need to stock oh yeah i should be doing that although it does expire like you have to be careful how what's it's pretty decent that's so fucking classic that's what's gonna happen and then the prices are gonna go even more up because now it's even more in demand

- Worse if it's just gone, but not forgotten. Oh my God, could you imagine? That would be seriously so funny. - No, it would actually not be funny to some of us who rely on it. It's a life-saving drug. - I mean, it is, but then you have to question why the life was in jeopardy to begin with. - Oh please, consider this. - Root cause. - I've put Bobby on notice. - Okay. - I'm older. - I'm older. - What's on the docket for today? Stories are, give them a letter grade.

Stories are fun. F is for fun. Well, F is for failure when I said letter grade, but okay. I know, but I couldn't, it doesn't fall into the rubric, okay? Some students just are not good test takers. We also have Queenie and Weenie, which I studied like extensively and thought really hard this morning about who I wanted to nominate for my Queenie and Weenie. And I want to say it has not come to me, which doesn't really happen. Sometimes I struggle with one, but there's usually like multiple candidates. Was this like kind of a blah week?

Was it a blah week? Let's look at what the stories were. Let me just reorient myself. Sexiest Man Alive, John Mulaney and Olivia Munn. Right. Like, I don't know. Oh, Megan Fox is pregnant. Like, okay. Right. Yeah. I guess it was a bit of a quiet week. So I'm still going to think, and maybe by the end of the show, I will have come up with something, but I just want to let you know, it's not coming naturally to me this week. Everything comes naturally. And in the spirit of transparency, it was important that I share that.

Thank you for sharing that. I think I just saw a weenie candidate in my midst. Well, I mean, there's always Mark Ruffalo. We'll never be truly without a weenie as long as Mark Ruffalo is still roaming this earth. So true. Well, let's get into the fun story, shall we? Yes, let me think. Was there anything else I wanted to chat to you about? Chat to me, Molly Mae. Oh, yeah. I ran into it. Okay, so I was walking on the street today on my way to work listening to Philip Phillips. I'm definitely having like a Philip Phillips renaissance. Actually, not a lot of people know this about Philip Phillips. I discovered it yesterday on TikTok.

He actually is taking a Taylor Swift approach to some of his most popular music because he released it like post-idol when you're in that like piece of shit contract. And he has a couple of Phillips versions out there floating around. He did Home. He did Gone, Gone, Gone. Now long after you're gone. That's what I was listening to on the way to work today. And as I was listening, I see this girl like walk by me and it took me a minute to register.

I was like, oh my God, she's wearing a TMT beanie. Like it's not our logo anymore. But back in the day when we were the morning toast, most of our merch had that TMT logo when we made beanies and it was really old. It must've been like 2019. And I was like, oh my God, it took me like a second. And I literally chased her down the street. I was like, I love your hat. And then it occurred to me like sometimes, and I've heard this happen, like people will find toast merch at Goodwill or like, I don't know, like stole it from a friend and doesn't know. And I was like kind of attacking this girl. I'm like, maybe she doesn't know.

And then she was like, oh my God. And I felt so relieved. And we took a picture together. But like, I seriously wanted to ask her for the hat. It's kind of like, I don't have it here. I actually haven't seen it. Which one is it? I have a lot. I pretty much have every piece of merch we've ever made. It's pale pink. Okay. With a white like stitched patch on the forehead. Patch? Yeah. Not embroidered. Pale pink. Okay, let me look. It was like so random. I haven't seen it in years. This must be how like Calvin Klein feels when he walks around town seeing people in his designs. Yeah.

It's so true. Speaking of merch is still available. Shop toast, merch.com. Place your orders, get your things. Cozy winter wears. It's something that I meant to send you as a story this week that I thought you would find interesting. Um, but now we can just talk about it. I don't know if you've heard, cause the department stores are doing their thing in New York city. Like this is where they shine. A lot of them. I walked past Bergdorf's the other day, curtains up. They're going to do like a big unveiling. Bloomingdale's just did this huge unveiling in partnership with Wicked. Um,

So everyone's kind of like, you know, spending the dollars. And it turns out Saks has announced that they are not doing their big light show this year. I saw it. Did they say, did they give a reason? Yeah, like money, the economy, like they're not doing as good as they once were. Money, money, money. But usually it's sponsored. Last year it was like Christian Dior was so sick. Me and Ben actually saw it when we took a dying Theo to see the Rockefeller Center trade. But I saw an interview with the CEO and he was like,

When we announced this, I think people kind of ran with it. You guys are a little bit misunderstanding. We're still going to have lights up around. The whole building is going to be lit up. They always do a very pretty installation with different windows, and then the whole building is covered in lights. We're just not doing a big show where people are invited to come. Remember Jennifer Lawrence was there because it was Dior. So they're just not doing a big ta-da. But rest have no fear. The light show will go on. It was a nothing burger. I'm glad we didn't choose it as a story.

That's like half a story. Yeah. They're just not having their like two hour thing, but everything else for the season will be the same. Yeah. Like they're still. It's even like a little bit pick me. They're still getting dressed up. And then blaming us for. That's like when Kylie said she named her son Wolf and was like, oh, well, I don't know why everyone's calling him Wolf. That's not his name. Oh, it's like I wonder where we got that from. Because you told us. It's because you told us that. I wonder where we got that from. Oh. Another thing. Is Skims X Dolce & Gabbana a story today? It's a story. Yeah. I'll give my thoughts there because I saw it yesterday. I wanted to talk about it.

So I think you're leading us into the fast five stories that you need to know. - The fast five stories that you need to know. Oh, sorry, hold on. Let me stop my timer. Just been like having a lot of trouble recently. - Oh, I'm sorry. Turdy, you wanna talk about it? Excuse me? - I'm just gonna get my glasses. - Wait, why are you wearing glasses? Why are you wearing glasses?

Today's episode of The Toast is supported by... Whose glasses are those? Is it a sponsor for this next sponsor? You're wearing the glasses? No, this is like an inside... It's not. Our first sponsor isn't Warby Parker? This is an inside joke between me and my TikTok followers. So basically, this pair of glasses materialized inside my home. I have no idea where they came from.

They look like something your husband wears. Jackie. First of all, they're not real glasses. Like, they don't have a prescription. They are absolutely fugly. They look like something like someone who's like an elf but also a librarian wears. That's a fun job. They literally turned up in my house. I don't even know where. Me and Ben just, I assumed they were Ben's and Ben assumed they were mine. And the other day I was like, where the fuck do these glasses come from? Jackie, you have to see them in person. They're so weird looking like...

And I was making TikTok about them and people were like, you should put them on during the ads and see what Jackie says. So that's what I did. Who makes them? Why are you acting like it's a designer? They're probably, they're like from Amazon. And to be honest, they showed up in my house around the same time that I started receiving a lot of packages from Amazon with our Halloween costume. So I think for a second, I thought Ben was using this for a Halloween costume.

Uh-huh. I have no idea where they came from. Now, a couple of people were saying, Claudia, if somebody wrote into your toaster saying they found this pair of glasses, you would assume that their husband. So, yes, my husband might be having an affair with an elf, part-time elf librarian. I'm not too worried just given the style. I'm not too worried given the style. Let's say Ben is having an affair with the owner of these glasses. Like, she's obviously got nothing on me. I'm not even concerned.

And they don't even have a prescription because if they did, then she's walking around and she can't see. So she can't find your husband. She's blind. And if, and because they don't have a prescription, that means she's like seriously phony below me. The only other real concerning thing is that I don't think they're a part of the costume because they're kind of beat up. Like these are not new glasses. Maybe you had a house guest who left them and they're watching the show, watching us make fun of their glasses. Like maybe it's your friend Abe. He hasn't been to my apartment in a really long time. The last person was that was there was actually the tailors were there.

And Shannon. I could see Taylor Strecker. I could see Taylor Strecker. You know, she is 40, so. No, but they're fake glasses. I could see her like committing to a look. Oh, sorry. These were in my apartment long before the Taylors arrived. Like way before. Shannon. Also, they were here before Shannon. And I don't have a lot of house guests. So the mystery remains. If these glasses look familiar to you or someone you know, please come collect them. Like I don't know what to do with them.

That is really funny. Well, anyways, they have been helping me read. So today's episode is brought to you by State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is literally what? Or, okay, how is this real? But really the words you want to be thinking or singing are...

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm is there with the coverage that you need for your car, your home, even boats, motorcycles, and RVs, and other things that matter to you. With a State Farm agent, you know someone is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With so many coverage options, it feels good knowing that you can find what fits for you, and when you need ways to get help, State Farm gives you options there too.

So maybe you're like me, a technology swirly who loves to do everything on their phone. With State Farm, you can get help on statefarm.com or on their award-winning app. Perhaps you're like Jax. You like to handle things in person or talk on the phone with a local agent. Well, that's what we love about State Farm. No matter what kind of toaster you are, State Farm lets you do things your way. So when you need help protecting the things that matter most, remember to sing it like Jax and Claude do. Jax, would you like to just give us a little taste of something? Double the song? Well, I mean, we still have some time left, so I'll probably wrap it up vocally, but...

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm actually really glad to be working with State Farm again because I feel like there are always rumors about whether or not State Farm is there. Yeah, and we are putting those rumors to rest. It's on us to sort of clear that up. Like 100%, Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is there. So don't get it twisted. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Oh, wow. Okay. I let you have your moment and you couldn't do the same because you're threatened by my talent. Today.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Chewy. The most wonderful time of the year is just about to be here. But, you know, for some of us it's kind of stressful. Your to-do list is a million miles long and somehow what your pet needs always seems to be a do it tomorrow kind of thing. Because there are only so many hours in the day. But that's why we do all of our shopping for the fur angels in our lives on Chewy.

Chewy is everything we need to keep our pet healthy and happy. You can shop on your schedule. Everything gets shipped right to your door in one to two days. And it's for all pets, not just dogs. I know some people have cats, which is crazy, but cats have needs too. And you can shop at Chewy. If you have a bird, fish, reptile, really whatever you could need for any sort of pet, they have at Chewy. This month, they have an incredible month.

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Throw something under the tree for your pet, whether it's a chew toy, new treats, a bone. They deserve it too. Shop at Chewy. They have 24-hour customer service. It's top tier, and they're help taking the stress out of the holidays. Take advantage of this amazing holiday savings and shop our personal favorites at Chewy.com slash toast. That's Chewy, C-H-E-W-Y.com slash toast. Chewy.com slash T-O-A-S-T. Again, they have top tier 24-7 customer service, so you can get expert advice

over the phone or chat day or night. Plus, if your pet doesn't love something, they have 100% satisfaction guarantee that lets you return it within a year, no questions asked. It's pretty major. Today's episode is also brought to you by Saks.com. Like we were saying, a go-to destination for holiday shopping.

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And that's just another great reminder that Moana 2 is coming out next week. It's also another great reminder that I actually am an artist. You can stream my music on Spotify, wherever you get your music. So true. I have a couple of songs. And by a couple, I mean, how many do I have? Two?

- Yeah, the first, which kind of took the music industry by storm, definitely wasn't appreciated in its own time, Toast by Claudia Asher, like a real summer pop anthem. And the second, the follow-up lead single was 100%. That was definitely slept on. - The sophomore song. - My sophomore album. It was definitely slept on by the community and I think I really need to shout out, seriously, the queer community, they're the only people who stream my music 'cause they understand. I'm kind of the Carly Rae Jepsen of the podcasting world. So yeah, just reminder.

Stream Toast. Stream Toast. It's so good. I heard it actually this morning because I was watching the Spritz Society Instagram stories and somebody used it. I mean, what would the Spritz Society Instagram stories and reels do if you didn't have original music? And let me tell you something, actually. If you're an aspiring podcaster, influencer, creator, I don't know what the hell we are these days, but if you're aspiring to do something of that nature...

having your own music that you own is such a smart business decision. Like I was able to use all my original music in my specials. Like you don't have to pay licensing fees when it's your, so I just want to say like from a business POV, like write your own music. Actually, I didn't write it, but you know, you produce your own music. I didn't produce it either, but come out with your own music.

Our first story, something that was alluded to earlier that's gotten bumped to number one spot is Kim Kardashian tapping Kourtney for a joint Skims X Dolce & Gabbana campaign after their wedding feud. So a couple pieces of news here. One, Skims is doing a collab with Dolce & Gabbana a la Fendi X Skims. Fendi X Skims and...

It's in the Dolce & Gabbana vein, very Skims vein, very cute. And then the campaign, she taps Kourtney for the photos, which is harking back to their feud about the wedding. The campaign says a duo while a Dolce Vita, like LOL. It's come full circle. It says starring Kourtney Kardashian and like all the pictures are just of Kim, but whatever.

I absolutely loved this. I actually think one of the last really interesting storylines from the Kardashians show on Hulu was that Skims Dolce & Gabbana thing. No, I'm sorry. Just that Dolce & Gabbana thing because it was so real. We all saw it happening in real time and we're like curious about it and they really didn't hold back. I feel like that was the last time they really unleashed with us and then they all just sort of like went their separate ways and I feel like we actually got no

What's the word I'm looking for? Resolution on that. I do wish there was like a bit of a shorter turnaround time on this because it has been a while since that whole scandal happened. Nevertheless, I think this is a great way to A, like make up with your sister. B, like alert to the public that we have resolved this in a funny way. Rising tides rise all shides. Like Kourtney gets to be in a Dolce spread. And I actually really liked this.

Yeah, I love the collab idea. Some of the pieces look great. And I think that this is a total no brainer. I think they actually, this is what they should have done when Kim started working with Dolce because when she did her like curated looks, that just like didn't. She was like a creative director. I don't even know. She did a fashion show and then they like re-released old pieces. I just don't think it had the impact that they thought it would. This should have been that. Well, by the way, it was supposed to be because if you remember in the Kardashians, they talked about how the, the,

they started working together and it was supposed to be at first Skims X Dolce, which is why Kim felt totally fine about not even telling Kourtney because it was just going to be like something for Skims. But I guess that didn't work out. Like they didn't have like the lead time or whatever. So he ended up doing this like half baked, whatever it was.

And I think that like kind of takes away from this and all that like momentum that Kim had with Dolce. But I love the collab idea and I love that she tapped Kourtney. I don't love the photos. Oh yeah, no, the creative direction is like not what I would do. It's also like... Like it's so close to like, I understand the vision, but I just feel like it didn't like come out great. And do you feel that like that aesthetic, La Dolce Vita, like, you know...

leopardy type of Italian big hair. It's like a little done for Kim. Like she had like a years long where that was like her whole shtick and she doesn't dress like that anymore. So it actually doesn't even feel authentic. This feels late. Yeah. Whereas if it happened a year ago or two years ago, it would have been just like so timely and so perfect. However, luckily for Kim, like that style is timeless. It's just like a feminine glamorous look. It's not like she's doing her like spaceship look that is very, very trendy. So like,

Everyone will always want to dress like this. It's just a feminine, beautiful way to look and it accentuates your curves and it's great. But yes, it's not congruous with the way that Kim's dressing right now. And it does feel a little played out because she spent so much time and energy

on that years ago yeah yeah and also I feel like it's just really interesting as like a consumer um my reaction to this because I remember when Skims X Fendi was announced like I was first in line not only did I buy stuff that morning on the website you and I went to the store and saw but wanted to see if they had extras like I was so obsessed and I didn't really move when this was announced like I liked that Courtney was in it I think that was kind of the most interesting part

Ironically. I mean, and the pieces are not anything I would ever wear. It's like underwear, boy shorts with like little titty bitty. Like, sorry, I have huge jugs. I can't. The pictures also make it hard to see what they're selling exactly. Like, is it just brazen underwear? I tapped over to the skim site. You can see Morgan Stewart posted on her Instagram that she like got it. So that's where I saw most of the stuff.

Oh, sweet. I got to go look. They're selling bras, panties, tops, and dresses. Like I click to see dresses, but it doesn't click through. And then the whole collection comes out on November 19th. I'm definitely curious, but what was so great about Fendi was that it was outerwear. Like if this is all bras and undies, like I don't need Dolce & Gabbana underwear. No, I don't, especially because I wear Skims bras and underwear, and I think they're amazing. Like, and they're way cheaper. Yeah.

But if these are like corsets that I can wear out, you know, with a blazer, I love that. I want to see like what's actually for sale. Also, a lot of the images are like black and white. Like, I want to see the product. Yes, the creative that she had posted on Instagram, like really did not highlight from, I'm no merchandiser, but I said, what are we selling here? The chair? Yeah, and I feel like sometimes like,

People go to extreme lengths to take photos like on set, like on a beach, a crazy circumstance. They like freeze themselves just for the shot. It's like, why? Just like go to the beach in Miami, whatever. Girl, have you heard of AI? No, but I feel like this is AI and like you can feel it. Here's what I'll say. It wasn't for me. I would, like this would have benefited from like, I don't even know if they went there. It just doesn't feel like they did. But it did get me thinking about Courtney. I think it's a studio in Calabasas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It did get me thinking about Kourtney because then I like went on a Kourtney stockage yesterday and then I saw she posted this in feed carousel. It was like either their anniversary or Travis's birthday. And so she just posted a bunch of like never before seen photos and videos of their life. And it was nothing crazy. It was just like all really cute. Them playing. What's that song? Heart and song. Heart and soul. Like really cutesy. It's just actually really crazy how unbothered and happy she is. And when we, when we zoom out,

It's just at least for me and like my journey with the Kardashians like Kourtney was never my number one really. She just totally came out on top like unbothered happy queen. She you could feel it in that carousel like pure joy. And yeah they're like weird with the tongues or whatever but like they are so in love like she is such an amazing marriage. Yeah. After being in such a volatile like fucked up relationship for so many years. Yeah. Yeah.

So I think it's all great. I'm excited to see the pieces. I got to go look at Morgan's story then. Whoever's idea it was to put Courtney at the center of this, like that's the most brilliant part of this collab, in my opinion. Yeah. It feels very full circle. It does. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Oscar's 2025 host has been tapped. I haven't heard. Let me get my true genuine reaction. Let me think. Let me think. Let me think. Let me guess first. Is it like classic Jimmy? Yeah.

No, this person's taking over for Jimmy. Okay, give me a clue. But it's not dissimilar. It's in the Jimmy vein, but his name doesn't start with a J. Seth Meyers? No, same thing, though. Stephen Colbert? No, but same thing. Conan? Yeah. Oh, okay, by the way, that's not in the same vein, actually. Like,

I know he's technically like had a late night show and whatever, but like Conan is, um, is different. Like if you know, late night, like drama, he is, first of all, I think like a lot of people would say he's much funnier and more talented than like the OGs, like the Jimmy's who just sit in a chair and ask questions and make Tik TOKs these days. Like,

Conan has like a cult cult following. People are obsessed with Conan. I've actually really like don't interact much with Conan. I know his podcast is immensely popular. He did take over for who Jay Leno and then like I fired immediately. He had like some drama. So I don't consider that TBS late night show, but I don't consider that like in competition with the basic cable networks. Right.

To me, he is of the exact same elk as those guys. I'm glad to hear you don't think so. No, no, he's really not. I think like he would be insulted at that too. Really? Yeah, because that I think is why he didn't really work in that traditional late night model when he took over whatever spot it was. He got a big spot. It's kind of like a Joan Rivers story where you get this big spot and it doesn't work out and you think your whole career is ending. But maybe much like Joan, like,

You can't put them in a box. Like, really, like, true, wild, outrageous, smart comedians, like, aren't meant for that sort of, like, kind of bland job. Yeah. And so, well, and I, and we always are clowning on, like, late night. I happen to really like Jimmy Fallon. I think he's, like, very funny. And I like his shtick. But I wouldn't say he's, like, the most innovative comedian thought leader of our time, right? Yeah.

Is this an episode of Body Snatchers? Wait, what? What is so crazy that I said? I happen to like Jimmy Fallon. I think he's really funny. I do. By the way, I feel like I've said that before. I hate Jimmy Kimmel. I think Stephen Colbert is literally the least funny person on the planet. Seth Meyers, like seriously, I don't even know enough about you to comment. How can you even, how do you even tell them all apart? Like to me, they're just one lump of the body.

of unfunnyness. Like I don't have different, maybe it's because I'm like a fellow comedian. Uh, yeah. James Corden. I can differentiate. The rest of them are all lumped together. I think Jimmy Fallon is really, um,

He's kind of like an America's sweetheart type of vibe. I would say he's the most successful one, for sure. I would say that all the celebrities seem to really like him, so he gets the best guests. One, because it's, of course, the Tonight Show on NBC, but people feel comfortable, and I think he hangs out with them in the real world. I don't know. Whenever we discuss late night and how they're all untalented weenies, I'm really not talking about Jimmy Fallon.

Okay. I swear to God I'm not. I sound like I've been booked on the Jimmy Fallon show, so I need to be cool. 1,000%. No, no. That is what you sound like. I just feel like it was important for me whenever we clowned on late night. I'm really not talking about Jimmy Fallon. Or Conan. Yeah, but I don't think Conan is in this group of people. He's not.

So who would you say is similar to Conan that's alive? Oh, that's a really good question. Like, nobody. And that's why he's so different. And I feel like I don't even get or know the full Conan lore, but I know that there is lore there. Well, you know what? I'll probably turn on the beginning of the Oscars. I think you'll like him. I think he doesn't give a fuck. Like...

Well, I do like that. Very Ricky Gervais-ish. I do like that. Nobody is as brave as Ricky Gervais. But I think Conan, at one point in his career, maybe cared about playing the game. But I don't think he cares anymore. His podcast is immensely popular. That's the power of podcasting. It's true. You don't have to act out. You can act out. Joan would have loved podcasting.

Oh my God. Joan would have had the most successful podcast. And she was actually really ahead of her time. She had a web show like long before that was even a thing in bed with Joan. And if you actually go back, she had amazing guests. Like RuPaul was on. I watched, she actually had Theo Vaughn on before he was like major. Sarah Silverman. But if what happened to Joan happened in modern times where she was like blackballed from the industry, she would have taken to podcasting and she would have been the world's greatest podcaster. Oh, you mean like if she had podcasting after, like in the 60s?

Yes. Yes. And she would have still done it up until this day. Yes. And it's disgraceful that we never got a Joan Rivers podcast because talk about like she's unfiltered and she was saying some wild shit on E! Like and she was getting away with it. I can only imagine if it's truly like you can't hold her back what she's saying. Right. Right. Weekly. We missed out. We missed out. It's for the best. Like this culture wouldn't even appreciate it. They would try to cancel her. They don't deserve it. They would try to cancel her because they don't understand her. Right. Right.

Sometimes I see like a snot nose kid on TikTok like crying about something and I'm like, you need a slap from Joan Rivers. Like you need to be sat down and spoken to by Joan Rivers. Yeah. But they don't deserve it. They don't deserve that kind of enlightenment. No, they wouldn't even be enlightened. They wouldn't know what to do with it. Anyways, you just made me excited for the Oscars, Turdy. Like just for the potential, the pretence. I think it's a good choice. And also when we think about the people who are always tapped, Trevor Noah, like unfunny, it's like uninspiring. I feel like Conan has never done this before.

So it's like fresh blood. Yeah. And I also think he's really, it's always interesting when like people like really well liked by like all the comedians. Like people, I was just watching Nikki Glaser. She was talking about

How she does everything she can to avoid like comments about herself. She's like, I cannot handle it. I refuse. And, but she's like a huge Conan fan. So she goes on like Reddit Conan to like talk with that fellow fans. And she ended up on like a thread about herself because she was on Conan. And like, it was the worst thing that ever happened to her. It was unavoidable. But then I was like, wow, there's even a Conan Reddit. Like there's, there, there is an obsession with Conan.

Okay. Well, by the way, he did host the Emmys in 2002 and 2006 and the White House Correspondents Dinner in 1995 and 2013. Damn, he's been around for a long time. Yeah. So he has like that sort of traditional hosting. I feel like those were the years where he was like playing the game, trying to get a late night show, like being like everybody else. Yeah. Yeah. And that's just my thoughts. I actually don't know if it's true.

Yeah, no, I like, even if you're wrong, like even if everything you just said about Conan is wrong. You like the story I'm telling. I like the story you're telling because it leaves room for hope and optimism. Yeah, even though that thing you said the other day about what Matt Damon said about movies has really stuck with me. Because now, like I said, I'm watching so much cable. And I'm seeing commercials for all the new movies that are coming out. Oh, and on Jeopardy last night, there was a...

about 2024 rave reviews. And it was all about, you had to guess what movie they were talking about based on the rave review that was written about it. My ass hadn't heard of one of these fucking movies. Jurassic Park, Big Godzilla 1. I haven't heard of any of these movies. And Double Chocobo.

literally, boom. Like I was, I'm such a media literate person. Like I go to the movies, I know what goes on in culture. And it was, I'm like, damn, that's really what Jackie said. Like all these big, stupid movies.

Yes. Double chocolate coffee. All these like huge action movies, franchises, things that have done well in the past. And so there's no room for just like a little, a little starter movie to find its way in the theaters. And then on Jeopardy, I saw a commercial for another movie and it was like big red or something. I just, it was, I was like, damn, Matt Damon was, was facts being facts. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyways, Oscars will be on March 2nd, 2025. So that's in a long time. I can wait. Like, I'll be okay. Are you ready for our next story? Which is like kind of a crazy controversy. Oh my God. Who's in hot water? Jenny Mullen is getting slammed for getting on a plane with lice. Oh, interesting. I saw Jenny Mullen the other day. Well, hopefully she didn't have lice when you saw her. Oh my God, I gave her a hug. Fans are slamming Jenny Mullen for getting on a five-hour flight with lice.

The actress revealed she had lice in her hair during a video shared to Instagram recently. She said, I can't even deal. This is insane. I've never had lice in my life. I don't know what to do. I guess it's important that people know, like while we give our take on this story, Jackie and I are experts in lice. There was like a five year period where every single summer we came home from camp with lice. We treated it the day we came home for two weeks after, like we know everything there is to know about lice. So we are actually experts on the matter.

She said, I've been itching for two weeks, so they've been living on me for two weeks. I hope not when you saw her. Anyway, her solution was to wrap a clear plastic bag around her head for the trip, but followers in her comments were appalled that she would put others at risk by catching a flight with untreated lice. Wow, are you kidding me? You got on a plane with lice and so on and so forth. You know what? I'm like, I'm really never one to side with the backlash. Like, I think if you're giving backlash, like, seriously, get a job. Having said that, like,

I fear that they do make a good point, especially because this is like a public transportation. Like someone else will sit in that seat. Lice can live in the fibers, maybe not of like leather, um, plain chairs, but like coach bus chairs that are like fuzzy. So maybe the chairs in the airport, they can live for like 24 hours in certain fibers. Um, so, um,

Like, here's the thing. I think people travel with lice knowingly and unknowingly all the time because you get lice, but you got plans. You got things to do. I think, like, really her posting about this and sharing this, like, was a huge mistake. You do not need to share everything that is going on in your life. And it does look bad when you're knowingly sitting there with lice in a seat that someone else, next to neighbors. It's just...

Especially because if she ended up on her Instagram like the next day in New York when she was in LA, I think a lot of people would have assumed that she flew private. Like her husband's a huge actor. Like there, it would have really not been a thing. Or they maybe would have assumed that she got the lights under control and whatever. They could have assumed a million things and,

it would have been fine. But like to just like brazenly be like sitting there with your half your head covered in a plastic cap talking about how you have lice on public transportation. Like that's not a good thing to do. I am in agreement. And honestly, I have not had lice since probably what? Like,

When was the last time? Oh, no, I had it once in high school. Oh, my God. And then I kept coming. So I was like treating it at home. And then I'm itching too. But it's just because we're talking about it. I had it in high school. Actually, there was like a rumor that like, okay, so it was me and this other girl like

her name was Daniela. And like every morning for like two weeks, we'd have to go to the nurse's office for a check before we could officially like start the day at school. And like almost every single day we got sent home because like we still had lice. And I was like not mad, honestly. Of course. Everybody knew that it was this girl, me and Daniela, like we kept getting sent home. It's actually kind of a traumatic story. Let me tell you. And then that following weekend, that upcoming weekend was Shabbaton.

So for those who don't know, like in, if you go to a Jewish day school, like once or twice a year, there's like a field trip. It's called a Shabbatom where you basically just spend like Shabbat together. It's usually like at like this big hotel. You all like eat and pray. It's actually really fun. Like, so it's like you leave school. It's like the social event. You leave school Friday and I think you come back Sunday morning. Like it's a nice weekend retreat.

And to be at Chabotone and I like I remember being like oh man am I gonna be able to go on Chabotone because I have lice. And they did let me go and I remember like there were some whispers about like nobody wanting to room with me but my friends like were really OG. They just all slept in one bed and I slept in the other. I kind of loved it. But it was I don't know why I was tapped that weekend to give a Devartura. So a Devartura like I

On Friday night of Shabbat, every week in Shul or on Shabbat, you like read a part. I was talking about this last week, like a different chapter of the Torah. And then a Devar Torah is like when somebody at dinner will like lead a meal, giving you a life lesson. I studied this chapter. Let me tell you what I learned and how we can apply it to modern day. And you know my ass, like I took my power back in that moment. I made the whole Devar Torah about lice.

and how like I was sort of a social pariah because of my, Jackie was such like a, it was a Phoenix rising from the ashes type of moment. I was this social outcast with my life. It's like, nobody wants to sleep with me. They didn't even want me coming on the Shabbaton. I'm sure some parents are like, that Asher girl's coming. And I gave, oh my God, they were cackling. Cause I think they were like, damn, wow, she's still going to speak brave. Not only did I speak, I acknowledged the elephant in the room and I slayed the house down boots.

That is so crazy. So like, what was the moral of the story that people should have been like more accepting and hugging you? Are you saying what's the moral of my Devar Torah? Yeah. I don't actually recall. And I don't think I was shaming everyone into, into accepting me. Into hugging you? I was just able to relate to what the character in the Bible was going through. Understood. Because I experienced it on a smaller level that week in school.

Understood. And a couple of years ago, I was going through some like random papers and I found the like printed out. And oh my God, I wish I kept it. I was cackling. It was honestly brilliant. It was hysterical. That's really funny. Yeah. Wow. I feel like the theme of this month has been like core memories from high school coming back to me. Yeah. I wonder why. I wonder why too. Something in the air. Something has changed within me.

Maybe it's like the lack of like a 10-pull story this quarter. You know, sometimes it's Royals, Taylor, Kardashian. Everyone's kind of quiet. So like, what about us? Yeah, what if we just turned the tables? What if we told our stories? What if we told our stories? Just this once. And called it her story. Just this once. Anyways. What was the story?

Jenny Mullen. Oh, right. So, oh, all that to say, the reason I got here is I haven't had a lice in my adult life. And I remember the experience of having lice as a child. Like it was horrible. It was really worse than you could have imagined. And at least you're a kid. Like I can't even imagine having it as an adult. But I guess it's something you have to worry about when you have kids, right? Yeah, for sure. Picking it up. Because you have boys. If your boys came home with lice, would you shave their heads? No.

Yeah, that always seems to be like the easier route. So probably. Yeah, that was like a thing we couldn't do. We were a house full of girls. But if you have a couple of boys with like short hair, bye. Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? No.

No, I don't think you are. You're actually, you could never be ready for this story. Is it the next story that's brought to you by Rakuten perchance? Perchance it is. If you're looking for a way to shop smarter and earn money while doing it this holiday season, then sign up for Rakuten, the ultimate free shopping companion that allows you to shop all of your favorite brands while saving money by earning cash back. So,

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because there are so many fabulous things you can buy and earn back with Rakuten. Let's do a little Would You Rather holiday edition, okay? I would love that. You're shopping at Ticketmaster. You buying tickets to Rascal Flatts or Taylor Swift? I don't want to get hate, but Rascal Flatts. Because we just went. Yeah. And Rascal's been off. And they're not going back on tour. Okay. You're at Lowe's. You buying a Crock-Pot or an Air Fryer? Crock-Pot. You're at Aloe. Even though I have two. You're at Aloe. You going for a cute Seamla or cozy sweater set?

Ooh. I think a cute simla. Love that. You're on Instacart. You getting ingredients for Jackie's chili or Jackie's beef stew? Ooh, now you're asking the tough questions. I think chili. I don't know. I kind of woke up this morning craving a beef stew.

You know what? I just realized I plan to make beef stew today and I don't have the ingredients. Well, thankfully, you can earn back on Instacart with Rakuten. No, thankfully, this just reminded me. Okay, this is kind of like the age-old question. You need shoes. You can shop either at Nike, get a nice, comfortable, cute pair of sneakers, or you can also shop at Neiman Marcus, a pair of stilettos.

Neiman Marcus, not stilettos, maybe a low fern in between. A ballet flat, if you will. Yeah. So for the girlies, we're at least playing at home. Just know you don't have to choose one or the other because Rakuten, you can save on all of your favorites. There's so many brands that they work with. Neiman Marcus, Adidas, Old Navy, Samsung, Dyson, Lego, Bloomingdale's, Disney Store, Clinique, Ulta, Groupon, Athleta. Really? Yeah.

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Our next story is some blossoming couple news that we have not checked in on in a while, but Kim Zolciak and Chet Hanks are fueling romance rumors again while attending a Jelly Roll concert together.

So Kim Zolciak and Chet Hanks fueled romance rumors while attending the Jelly Roll concert. She took to Instagram on Wednesday to gush about having the best time with the country singer and his beautiful wifey, saying she had so much fun and she was with Chet Hanks and her pal Jenny Doyle. She said, one of my absolute favorite concerts and everyone that was slash is part of this massive operation is beyond kind. Oh my God, you just reminded me. Brielle Bierman texted me the other day. She's like, I have a piece of gossip for you. And then she never answered.

Then I never answered. So you just reminded me that I never answered. I literally responded. Yeah. Well, I hope it's about these two being in love and getting married. I ship so wholeheartedly. And if you take a look at these two holistically, like it just makes sense. Sometimes you hear about a couple and you think that they could be related. And that's how you know that they're perfect for one another. Yeah. They look like siblings. And he looks like Croy. Yeah. Yeah.

Kim Zolciak being Tom Hanks' daughter-in-law is everything to me. It feels right. Kim Zolciak...

And I know there's so much lore around her. And I did definitely stop keeping up with her family at the level that I was because it was taking a dark turn with the divorce. But they could never make me dislike this woman. I just ride for her. I think she's so unique and so interesting. And I love her family. And I'm devastated, truly devastated that it didn't work out with Croy. But to know that she has found love in the arms of a Hollywood nepo baby, that brings joy. It does. Yeah.

Do you agree? It really does. And I think he really loves her. Like, they haven't confirmed that they're together, but, like, you don't go to a concert. Yeah. Like, I think that they are seeing things, seeing how it goes. But from what he said about her, like, I think he would wait forever for her. Like, I think she's his dream woman. Yeah. And can you just see... And she deserves that. I feel like every man that she is with, like, worships at the altar of Kim Sol Zee, except for Big Papa. It's true. He didn't choose her. Yeah. But...

Can you imagine like Chet bringing Kim Zolciak home for the holidays? No, like imagining that is what sustains me and fuels me. And I like to think that like Tom Hanks is not as like so serious as we, I actually think if he just sat down and had a drink with Kim Zolciak, like he might actually really like her.

For sure. Do you think Chet Hanks goes home for the holidays? Because there's a lot also like between them all. There is a lot. But and I think a lot of people assume that Chet's on the outs with his family because he's so nuts. But anytime like Tom's being honored for something, all of his kids show up. They kind of like let Chet do his thing. They know he's nutty and they don't try and silence him. Maybe they did in the beginning and they realized it like wasn't.

But as far as I know, they are this like tight family unit. I do think Chet Hanks goes home for the holidays, like dead ass. Sound off in the comments. Do you think Chet Hanks goes home for the holidays? I hope that Kim and her crew are going with him. Because Kim needs to be with her family for the holidays. Is she showing up with six kids? I don't know.

Well, she has to be with her kids for the holidays. So otherwise she can't go to the Hanks family function if she's not with her kids. She at least has to bring the younger four because Brielle is like engaged and I feel like probably spending the holidays like in this new life. You think Brielle's going to pass up Christmas at Tom Hanks house? Christmas at the Hanks's. I don't know. So Brielle has to bring her fiance. It's a whole family affair. Once they find out like we're going to Tom's, everybody's getting involved. It's beautiful. It is beautiful. And I know a lot of people like look at this couple and they have like their judgments. And I just want to say, I look at them and I see true love.

I agree. I think they are perfect for one another. And maybe it's just because Chet seriously could be Croy Beerman. They are twins. They met on the set of like one of those all-star reality shows called MTV's Surreal Life, Villa of Secrets. And like, I really love those shows because I do feel like a handful of people really meet the right person for them. I agree. We get a couple of like really strong couples, even the ones that don't work out, Pauly D and Aubrey O'Day. Like that was a good one, even though she said that like it was one of the worst relationships she's ever been in. Like at the time I enjoyed it.

Yeah, of course. Blake Hortsman and Giannina. Did they meet on one of those shows or just like through Instagram? Okay. They met on one of those shows. Yeah. Every now and then there's like a really good crossover. That was like when Ronnie Magro was dating Malika. So that was the same show as Pauly. Famously in Love. Famously in Love. Yeah. That was a good show on E! Why did they cancel that? I don't know. Probably because I liked it.

Once again, Jackie's at fault. And it's funny that I would watch Famously in Love, but like not any of these other shows. Yeah. Something about E! Like they have a way with us.

They definitely have like a chokehold on like millennial women. Like we can't quit them. I really liked that show. I should watch some of these other, but I was also more so in my reality TV era. So I knew everyone going on the show. Now I think I wouldn't know. There's a learning curve for you. Like I don't know anyone on The Bachelor except for Ariel Frankel. Yeah. And that's really all you need to know. It's so true. In my opinion. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Oh, bidding is such sweet sorrow, my lad. But yes.

A little holiday special news because someone's getting a holiday special. Who? And they're bringing in some other people. Josh Groban is getting a CBS holiday special called Go Home for the Holidays. Oh, I love this. With Jennifer Hudson. Oh, wow.

Cause she just came out with a holiday album. Are they co-hosting or she's just like one of the many guests? So it's his show. It's Josh Groban and friends go home for the holidays and it will be a variety of special featuring performances from him as well as Jennifer Hudson, Tori Kelly, who never misses a TV special, James Bay and the Warren treaty. I love the Warren treaty. Um,

Okay, I love this. But I also just want to add this one, I want to add this one note. It will be filmed at the Brom Goldsmith Theater. The program will also center on the American foster care system and feature a family adopting a child live on air. Wait, okay. I know that we can go down a hole and be like, that's weird, like handle your shit privately. But, but, it's like definitely traumatizing for the kid being adopted. But, but.

But I think it's a really crazy concept. It really is. But before you said that, I thought it was so sweet, like a mission. And I feel like like the foster care system and like that's like not a popular mission. People always choose always doing like world hunger, which is good, too, of course. But like I feel like it's the same couple of.

Like Stand Up To Cancer, No Kid Hungry, which are good organizations. I'm not saying anything. Yeah. But it's the same ones that always get like the PR on these. They get a lot of love. And I don't see anyone really sticking up making their cause like adoption in the foster community. So I was about to be really excited, but maybe they just took it a little far. Their live adoption. It's wild. It's so crazy. And it's like,

Do they already know who's getting, who's adopting? Or is it like they bring a bunch of orphans and they're like, oh, pick me, pick me. And it turns into Annie. Does an orphan like feel like a slur? It's kind of an outdated term because there are no more orphanages. Right, but what do you call like somebody who's in? A foster child. Oh, oh, oh, oh. But not because orphan is a slur, but just because there's not orphanages. Yeah. There's foster homes. I don't know why it's just like kind of, it's like a word that gives me a pit.

It's sad because it's a sad situation. So let's look past the live adoption if we can for a moment. And then there was that horror movie, The Orphan. Of course. That one really stuck with me. Oh, my God. I went to a sleepover and I came back like not the same. Yeah. Hey, I will do my best to push past the on-air adoption. One thing. And by the way, if I do wind up watching this, I know for a fact that will make me cry. Of course. That will have the impact that it's intended. I just...

There's something really sad about it. It's crazy. It's exploitative. It's exploitative. The one thing that the cable networks really do right is who they tap for holiday specials. They don't give them out to just anybody. I think, you know, one that comes to mind was most recently Kylie Clarkson's on NBC. It was seriously a work of art. And she had Ariana Grande. That's one of my, that's like, I'll never skip that on TikTok. Keep the mistletoe cause why?

I know is what I need. Oh, Santa, won't you hear me? Like, obsessed. The glam, the backup singers. Like, it was just, it was magic. We were watching it. We knew it was going to go down in history, and it did. So I think it's something that cable networks really get right. They put a lot of budget towards these types of things. And I think Josh Groban is a perfect person. And I think holiday specials on cable is really where you separate, like,

the people who can sing from the people who can't sing. Cause yeah, there's a lot of people in this industry who are super famous, who literally can't sing.

And they're not getting specials. So the Josh Groban's, the Jennifer Hudson's. They get a lot. They get a lot. Yep. You know, given that. But this is for the singers. This is for the singers. Like the David Foster type of people. And also for the people who like love the holidays. Josh Groban does have a holiday album. It's very old, but it's very good. It's one of the best. It's one of the greats. Somebody should give David Foster a holiday special that like it's David Foster and friends. Because there are so many girlies who like.

Let me tell you, David Foster's always doing David Foster and Friends. Yeah, he is on tour doing David Foster and Friends. But I mean, like, if a network would give him, like, a holiday special where he could bring out, like, obviously Catherine McPhee. Obviously. Celine Dion. You know, one of his people, like, is Michael Bublé. Okay, fine. Like, all of the people he helped make famous. Pia Toscano. He would just, like, produce the whole thing. Yeah, and he plays piano the whole time and, like, tells stories and then brings out, like, I think that would be great.

He does that literally every night of his life. He just had his birthday party and that's what he did for his, I think, 70th birthday at the Hollywood Bowl. It was David Foster and Friends. And, you know, back in the day when they did it, Yolanda threw a holiday party, not a holiday party, a dinner party. Oh, right. And that's, by the way, I'm forgetting about the Yolanda literal dinner parties that we saw. I'm saying he's always like at

an outdoor concert venue. And now knowing what we know, like at the time it was really weird that Yolanda invited everyone over and like was just like showing off her husband and like they pulled this piano like out from their asses and brought it to the dinner table and everybody was like, this is nice but weird. But now like knowing what we know about David Foster, it's actually not weird at all. That's like clearly like how he gives and shows love. Yes, 100%. And that's what he should be doing with his gift. 1000%. So I...

Would implore a network to tap him. He's good. I'm just trying to think of other people who I think are deserving of these types of specials. Yeah. And the streamers do it well too. Like I'm really excited for Sabrina Carpenter's. It's different. I think the cable ones are like just really, they're kind of like nostalgic a little bit. Casey Musgraves was great. Sabrina Carpenter I think will be good. Yeah, because also there's something like live about them. The other ones are so highly produced. You could have a million takes. Like they're perfect to a tee. Yeah.

but there's something just like more real and raw about these as there is because it's just live. We're raw dog in it. - So this is CBS's, I'm sure NBC will have one. That's like, it's kind of their thing. So I'm curious who they'll be tapping. - It should be Kelly again. Like we can never have enough Kelly. - It should be Kelly again. Did you see the Kelly's taking the internet by storm? She does her Kelly Okies and they're always like extremely well received. But every now and then like, ♪ You call me again ♪

Like she, she, something pops off. And did you see she covered please, please, please by Sabrina. And she kind of gave it like, it sounds very different. Um, a little bit country almost. And people are dying for it. Like they, they say it's better than the original. Oh, wow. That's the Kelly Oki. That's taking the world by storm this quarter. Go Kelly. Go, go Kelly. Go.

I'd love to see her achieve greatness. And I think Josh Groban will be great. I'm not familiar with his holiday music, but he will. Yes, you are. If you looked at the album cover, it raised us, Claudia. Go look at it. Okay. Would you consider Like You Raised Me Up to be a holiday song? Like he'll definitely sing it, right? I mean, if you put a little jingle bell in there, anything could be a holiday song. Okay, let me look up Josh Groban holiday. It's called Noel. Noel.

Oh, I know that picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that. Oh my God. This picture. Oh, his little drummer boy and his silent night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, by the way. And also he has a version of I'll be home for Christmas that has servicemen and women like talking to their families on the phone. Like try not to cry. Okay. It's just by the way, try not to cry. When you were talking about, you were reading the sentence about the alive adoption. I thought what you were going to say is that they had like a foster child.

- Children's choir. Like I didn't know if a choir of foster children, like from like maybe like the boys and girls club or something. That's what I thought it was. And I loved that. My idea is better. - Honestly, David Foster should be the one doing the Christmas drive for the foster children. - Yeah. I wonder if Josh Gerben's adopted, like why this is a cause particularly near and dear to his heart.

I don't know. He said he's honored and excited to host a show with friends old and new to celebrate the unity and togetherness of the holidays. It's especially important because we'll spread the importance of adoption and we'll feature the most incredible kids. I actually ended up on an adoption talk. Oh no. Jackie, it was the craziest place I'd ever been. I ended up like following the journey of this girl who she said she wasn't adopted. She was kidnapped from her home country and she's like here in America. Like she's currently being kidnapped. How old is she? I would say like 22. 22.

Oh, she's making the video? Yeah, yeah, she's talking. She's like, hi, I'm Blank. No, she was adopted as a kid. And she said that like that adoption was a kidnapping. Oh my gosh. And she's now being held in this country against her will. Oh, okay, okay. I thought you were saying you were like getting served like videos of like,

children's stories of adoption. - No, no, no, no. - Oh my God, I was like, would be bawling. - She was adopted by a family who wanted kids and I think she was like, you know, available as a baby. And she says like, she's very against adoption. That's when I knew I was spending a little too much time on TikTok. - I'm gonna need more information before I comment on it. - I'll send you the videos once I see them. - So now she's 22. - She's like a grown person, but she's like advocating against adoption 'cause she's currently, you know, a victim of kidnapping.

Well, she should advocate against kidnapping. She wasn't kidnapped. She was adopted. Oh. Where were, okay. It was like a legal adoption, but she's very anti-adoption because she says it's a modern day kidnapping. Okay. Okay. That's. Okay. No, there are a lot of issues like with the system. Of course. I hadn't considered that to be one of them. That's actually what Demon Copperhead really opened my eyes to. The system.

Yeah. The system is broken, honestly. Now, what's not broken is our spirits because while it's Friday, we have so much to look forward to. We also have Queenie and Weenie of the Week, which is our weekly segment where we just sort of like to wrap up the week in a little bit of a bow, take a look at the week at a glance, and give out two awards, Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week. They're pretty self-explanatory. If you acted like a Queenie this week, you might win Queenie of the Week. If you acted like a big weenie this week, you'll probably win Weenie of the Week. So, Jax and I both nominate two people. Feel free to nominate your candidates in the comments. And...

Would you like to get us started? Yeah, I only have a weenie. So maybe we can like put ours together and have like joint nominee. Great. But my weenie and it's light fare because everyone kind of behaved this week, I felt. It was a very low key kind of week. So like of everything that we discussed and that we saw, I thought the one exhibiting the most weenie behavior was Calloway Fineman.

You know what? When I was searching for Queenie and Weenie, she did come across my desk as a potential Weenie candidate. It seemed harsh because... It's just a textbook Weenie, just Weiner behavior. Like harmless, but Weenie. Harmless, but Weenie. And she's been posting follow-up videos that are just like not... A little cringe.

Not doing what she thinks that they're doing. Yeah. The weeniness comes from the fact that every time she posts something, she thinks it's a slay. And it's not. Because she posted a rebuttal being like, everybody in my comments saying X, Y, and Z. Like, thanks for the engagement. I needed it. This algorithm is tough. And it's like, that's really not a search. And by the way, you just said that in four seconds. And her video was like 40 seconds. So there was a lot of slowness and not...

So my weenie of the week, because when in doubt, you know, Ruffalo out. My weenie of the week is Mark Ruffalo. He didn't do anything particularly this week besides being himself. I'm sure he did. I'm sure that he actually did and you just like don't follow him. But let's take a look at his pages. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't need to because I don't need to look because I know. Like the page itself. Mark Ruffalo definitely did something really weenie like this week. And so he's going to get my weenie of the week. On a slow week, when in doubt, Ruffalo.

- Love it. - Oh my God, I don't wanna be here. - And Queenie, Queenie of the week, did you say you didn't have one? - I did not have one. No one really shined this week. So like to me, I think that my title holder is gonna stay Brianna Chicken Fry. - She did have a good week. She's like coming back, she's making content, she's back in the city. - She's still exhibiting Queenie behavior. And like, this is when she needs us, by the way. She's rebuilding her life. - It's true. - She said in her video, she's like losing money right now. People think Dave just gave her $10 million.

She needs us. Yep. And so in the absence of anyone being more Queenie, like she will remain the title holder. I like that. I like that. I was also, I think when in doubt, like when you don't have a Queenie, it's always good to nominate ourselves. Yeah. Like I kind of did great work this week. Like I'm a Queen, you know? I agree. I made a hamburger meatballs. Yeah. Like I was, I'm the inventor of hamburger meatballs.

I was everything to everyone in my life. Like I was a good sister, a good daughter, a good friend, a good wife, a good daughter-in-law, like a good podcaster, a good creator. So yeah, I don't see why not, honestly. No, I completely agree. So it's good. You, me, and Mrs. Brie.

Period. That's our show. That's the week. Hope everybody had a good week. Hope you were able to get merch. I know a lot of people get paid on Friday, so they wait till Friday to get merch. The store is still open. We'll probably leave it open throughout the weekend so you can get, it's pre-order. So it's four to five weeks till it ships, but that means everybody can get what they want in terms of like sizing and amounts. So shoptoastmerch.com. You can look at our Instagram for like different pictures. Jackie and I wear a size medium and everything. Everything runs really true to size, although I would recommend sizing up for like, if you want like an oversized crew neck.

Today's the ultimate payday because it's Friday, but it's also the 15th because sometimes you get paid on a Friday, but in other jobs you get paid on the 15th. Like everyone's getting paid today. Yeah. The 15th is also the day that American Express bills are due. So that's what I think of. Oh. Not to be like such a downer. Not you at the American Express. Or do you mean American Excess? It's not really like a sleigh. There's like a bunch of different American Express cards. Some of them are even free. Like...

And I don't even have like a big fancy one. American Express is such a slay. And if you are like even remotely in tune with what's cool in the points world, like you definitely have a gold American Express. It's $99 a year and completely worth it. Yeah. So that's what Brian says. Like if you eat a lot and like you drive me, you need the gold card. A lot of people think the platinum one and it's really pricey. And they're like, oh, well, it's platinum. It's better. It's actually not. That's kind of like the biggest life hack for Brian. I canceled my platinum and I went gold.

Go for the gold, Turdy. Yeah. So that's our show. That's our week. Hope everybody enjoyed every minute of it. Like every little second. Thank you so much for listening to the Test of the Land. I'm going to share with you all the fast-paced stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please, please say

Feel free. Don't let us stop you. I feel like some of you guys are like a little worried. No, feel free. They get shy. They get shy about subscribing. Feel free to subscribe. Give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, any defunct platform. So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us at Toast. Leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and talented we are. Love ya. Bye.