Brianna Chickenfry Telethon: Friday, November 8th, 2024
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Good morning millennials! Welcome back to the toast. Cut your pants on fire. Tell me you're a liar. Tell me you're a liar. Trust me. I have spent my morning sat in my makeup chair watching EFF's pod.

I don't know how the hell we're supposed to wait until the first story to talk about it. Like seriously, fuck that square headed. Fuck. I hate that ugly loser so much and I am so proud. So fucking proud. I never liked him and I never turned on Brianna LaPaglia like you other snitches did. Now I see everyone on social media like, oh Brianna bitch, you were the ones who turned on her. I didn't. Okay. You know what feels so good? To be on the right side of things. Well, I still love

like 20 minutes left in the pot, but I've got the gist. No, by the way, she tells the craziest story. You'll have to tell me. Two stories at the end. Okay, you'll have to tell me when we talk about it. So I haven't even gotten to like what social media's reaction. Like I have no idea what people are saying. Like are people riding with Brie? Of course, they're like, oh, you know, and she has, I mean, should we get into it? Like...

No, just finish this conversation, and then we'll get into, like, what she said in the podcast and the stories. She said on the podcast, like, that she really lost herself. Like, if you look at her social media, like, you can see, like, the girl that she was before this relationship is not the girl that she is after it and during it. And everyone's like, oh, you know, I loved Bree, and, like, I really, I see that, you know? Like, I could see, like, I did unfollow her because I, like...

You were on the hater train and I wasn't. Like, this feels... It feels good to know. Like, I'm not like some of these bitches, you know? Yeah. No, I'm so proud of her. The $12 million thing. I was at dinner last night. Jenny, wait. We have to wait. Like, seriously. Okay, but now I'll segue. I'll segue out. Okay. Because I was at dinner last night when Margot... We were, like, both just, like, waiting for 8 o'clock. But we went to dinner at 7.45. And, like, Margot was like, oh, my God. He offered her $12 million in an apartment in New York in a house. And she turned it down. And I was like... Okay, just stop. Just stop. Honestly, I was like...

I didn't know he had that much money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's definitely something people are talking about too. Because I haven't put a red cent in his pocket. Oh, yeah. That's another thing to feel good about. Like did not contribute to the richification or the famification of Zach Bryan one iota over here. Right.

So our hands are clean. We are going to dive into the full podcast recap in part, in story one of the day, I assume. I mean, we are going to be doing Queenie and Meanie, although it's just so clear. It's so clear, but maybe we'll have... To even do the segment is like a slap in the face to the common sense of our listeners. It's true, but maybe we'll have like more to add as we anoint. Yes, and I actually was...

Only able to watch the podcast this morning because last night I was out at the theater. Have you ever been to the famous Apollo Theater? Yes. You have? Yes.

It's Uptown? Yeah, it's in Harlem. What did you see there? Darius Rucker. Oh, classic. Well, the Joan Rivers tribute show that I went to last night was for, was at the Apollo. And they, like when Brian said, like, I have tickets, do you want to come? He sent us the poster. And there was like a lineup of people, like pretty, like decent lineup. So I was really excited. But they didn't put anybody on the lineup, like who was actually there. It was star studded and it was all filmed for NBC. There were cameras everywhere. They didn't say exactly what it's going to be. Yeah.

Who were the stars? So, Tiffany Haddish, Chelsea Handler, Nikki Glaser, Joel McHale. Who else? Who else? Who else? I don't want to spoil it for when it gets televised. And then, like, a bunch of other comedians who, like, you know and like. But, like, big, big stars. Yeah, the big names. Yeah, yeah. It was shocking to see. Who was the best? Nobody knew.

that's a really good question. Oh, Aubrey Plaza was there. So, and I knew this and I was being such a know-it-all, like, because between every comedian, they had like a package. It was a big screen and it was like archival footage of Joan. It was,

A combination of like so much stuff from her documentary. I was literally like, honestly. Quoting it. If you ask Taylor Donahue, she wished she sat next to someone else. I was literally finishing the sentences. I'm like, but so much of the show was about Joan. Did you tell her how he had walked through the apartment? No, no, I didn't actually. It didn't come up. You'll have to text her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But really the whole show was kind of built around the fact that like Joan wrote so many jokes and she had this crazy filing system. It's in the documentary. She like put them all, she would write jokes and once they were done, she would put this in this filing cabinet. She would type them up on index cards and file them based on different categories. And they were just like reading some of her jokes and the RB Plaza did a whole segment of like Joan jokes that haven't aged well. It was like really funny. Um,

And then so the whole event was for charity. It was for God's Love We Deliver, which is, if you watch a documentary, Joan's like favorite charity, which started as an organization to like send meals, medicated meals to AIDS patients. And now it's like for the whole city. If you're elderly, if you're sick and you don't have meals, like they deliver meals. And so...

so they were auctioning off some of the OG index cards for, and the starting price for an index card was $5,000. Like I was, I was gonna like auction, get involved, but then they were like starting price 5,000. I'm like for an index card. That's really crazy. I know. And so somebody, Oh, you know who bought the first one sitting right in front of me? Lorraine Schwartz. Oh,

Oh, wow. Jewelry designer. What did one go the most for? Nothing. So literally nobody was bidding. They should have started at like $1,000. Yeah. Because after a while, Lorraine Schwartz was like, okay, I'll do it. Then the second one, like nobody did it. And I saw some producer raise his hand. So they obviously like just to keep the show moving. And then the third person, they gave out to free for someone in the audience. Like it was, I was, I didn't want to be cheap. But if they were like $5,000, $5,000, I would have, I wanted to be like $1,000. I would have spent $1,000. Yeah, they should have started it

- For charity, like you overpay, but $5,000 for an index card is absurd. - Of which there are thousands. - Well, she in her career wrote 77,000 jokes. There are 77,000 index cards. - So that would mean the value of all of the index cards is 77. - Well, no, it's not a value 'cause it's not like a real value, it's for charity. So it's like, it's all,

obscene, obscenely overpriced, but they weren't auctioning off 77,000 of them. Just three of them. - No, no, no, but like just the idea, it's still, it's about value. Yes, you might overpay because it's for charity, but like it's based on the value of something. - Well, you really can't put a price on, honestly, if they were auctioning off the one card that she read in her documentary, when she's explaining to the documentarian, like all these different jokes, she pulls out a random one. It is so funny. She's like, why should I learn how to cook? So my husband can say, my wife makes a great roast to some hooker.

If they had pulled that one, because I literally remember that joke. You could buy that for $5,000 and get it framed. Yeah, I would. But the jokes they were reading, they kind of gave away like three not great ones. Oh, the curation. You didn't answer my question. Who was the best person? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Let me really truly think. Um...

You could even say two if there was like two really great people. Oh, sorry. Nikki Glaser. It's actually insane how Nikki Glaser like is the funniest bitch on the planet. Like, and she really, she went, the thing is, Joan, if you're like a female comedian, like Joan means so much to you. And that was coming through from everyone. Even Chelsea Handler was like my entire career, I have been, you know, everyone compares you to Joan and it's like the greatest honor you could ever. And then Nikki Glaser was like everybody, like,

Everybody compares me to Joan and I'm like, not in a physical way, right? She was being really funny and it was like, it was interesting to see people toe the line between being funny but being really genuine and like really sincere because Joan means so much to female comics and like Nikki really slayed it and she talked a lot about like Joan's plastic surgery and like her openness about that and like how

She gets made fun of for it, but at the time when she would talk about it, it was so out there and crazy. And now everybody lying to you, saying they drink a lot of water because they have a perfect face. Joan was just different. And what was so great is these little packages between... Remember a couple of years ago, we did a story that somebody bought all the archival comedy stand-up footage of Joan, and they were going to do something with it. I feel like maybe this is part of that, because I was watching clips from her stand-up, from her old...

late night show that I have never seen. That was the best part. I was like, can we get more footage of that please? So I'm sure they're gonna put it all together and make it like a nice special. And it was excellent. It was just nice to see like somebody getting their, I feel like we're always honoring people who like stink. Joan was that bitch. Joan was a queen. Like it was, and she would have loved being like

like that. Cause she, you know, she was very turdy and jacks coated. She had a chip. She had the chip of all chips. That like she wasn't taken seriously and like really respected for the icon that she was. And I loved that they had like. And like she is really respected, but it's still not enough. Agreed. Like for what she is and what she was, like she doesn't get enough respect. And there can never be enough respect.

Most of the comedians there like had met her and had stories about her, which was so nice because like Joel McHale and Chelsea Handler went back to back talking about like that time at E! where everybody was like working in the same studio and Joan was like actually a delight and like a pleasure to work with. And then Melissa Rivers closed the show with this like letter that Joan had written. Like, if you guys ever do honor me, please read this. Like, and it was really funny. So, oh, and it was star studded in, oh, but the craziest thing is that literally we're about to, the show's about to start, me and Ben sit down. Someone taps me on my shoulder. I turn around, who is it?

My mother-in-law. And she brought me a snack. She knew I was going to be there, but she didn't tell me she was going to be there. She brought me a snack. Did Ben know she was going to be there? No, we were shocked. I think she wanted to surprise us, but she had tickets and we had tickets. Jen, what's her name? Luann de la Seps was there. Lorraine Schwartz was sitting right in front of me. It was very New York theater crowd. It was fabulous. And I had never been to the Apollo before. It's really, like I knew it was special. Yeah, it is. And it's gorgeous inside. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's what I did last night and then ran home and started watching a little bit of BFFs, but it was late, so I watched most of it this morning. Yeah, I watched all of it this morning, and I can't believe there's so much juice at the end that I didn't even get to see, but I was out last night, and then when I got home, I might have started to watch it, but then I saw what was going on in Amsterdam, which we need to talk about, and I had nothing but a pit in my stomach and didn't want to watch anything fun or funny. Pittsville, USA. You might not have seen...

what happened in Amsterdam last night because like per usual, like nobody gives a damn about the Jews. But there was a pogrom in Amsterdam last night. The Tel Aviv Maccabi soccer team was playing a soccer match in Amsterdam against Ajax, whatever that is. - So like a bunch of Israelis flew to support their team. - Yeah. - Like people knew that, you know, lots of Israelis were in town. - Right, and they were staying in hotels and like many groups, I think it was maybe like hundreds,

of extremists, like organized. It was very organized is what they said, like organized outside of train stations. Like as soon as the fans came out of the stadium, they were like hiding in alleys and like cutting off entry points outside of train stations, outside of hotels where they knew the Israelis were staying and viciously, physically, violently attacked Jews, stabbing them, running them over with cars. Some of them jumped into the canal while the others stood there. And-

- People were stabbed, people are still missing. Israel had to send two passenger planes to literally pick people up to get the fuck out of that shit hole. - Because the police were doing nothing. The whole time if you watch the videos, and they filmed themselves, it was very like October 7th style. - Very Hamas coded. - Yeah, they're filming themselves like making these Jews say free Palestine. They're saying this is what's going on in Gaza. So this is what happens when you globalize the Intifada. - The Intifada, it's just beautiful, isn't it? - Bella Hadid's dream. And it was so, so upsetting to see like,

And then waking up this morning and see how like American news reports it. Like the New York times has vicious anti-Semites. I fucking hate. It was a soccer led fight. It was a soccer. They make it seem like, you know, a football game and they beat up a fan. Yeah. That's not what it was. No, not at all. It was very coordinated. It's like, you know,

Just blatant anti-Semitism. Again, but anti-Semitism is not related to anti-Zionism, even though they're breeding up Jews and telling them to free Palestine. But no, no, no. It's just a conflict about land, right? You know, if you are a Jew living in Europe, like it's so dramatic to say, but like get the fuck out. Like seriously. I mean, we've always thought that, but this is one step further. It's that a Jew can't visit Europe because it wasn't like Jews living in Amsterdam. We'll be okay. We'll be okay. They don't even have air conditioning over there. Come to America. It's great here.

- Yeah, no, that you can't even go to a soccer game in Amsterdam. And there were so many comparisons drawn to like Anne Frank, that's the city that she grew up in. And we know how her story ended and that like Amsterdam isn't safe for Jews in 2024. To live or to even visit is so crazy. Like Europe is so far gone.

Do not go and do not come. Do not go. Do not go. That was really upsetting and even more upsetting to like wake up and then see like...

how it's being spoken about. I mean, people don't know. And if they do know, they think it's like a soccer kerfuffle. Yeah. Like I knew about it, like from our family chat. So like, then I went looking to see what's going on. And like, you really have to go like deep in X and like find the tweets of people who are sharing this stuff. Um, but it's not like headline news where it's everywhere you go. Like, it's very possible that you didn't even hear about this yet. And it's so important that you do, because it was like serious, like 1930 style pogrom. That's what they used to be called like back in Germany, back in Russia, when like

gang violence would like organize themselves and attack Jews, attack Jewish businesses. And last night it was Jewish soccer fans, Israeli fans, so much so that Israel had to send two rescue planes to get the people out of there. And the police were doing nothing. They broke into the hotels where they were staying, throwing fireworks into the windows of hotels, beating up fathers who are with their children, beating up women. Don't you care about women? It's don't you care about women?

No, you don't. It's disgraceful. It was really hard to watch. And like, I'm sorry, like trigger warning. No, this is happening. The footage is beyond graphic. These filmed by the people who did it. They are so proud. They weren't caught. They were proud. So...

- That happened. - Right, so that's why I didn't watch BFFs last night. - So this morning, yeah. I didn't wanna like ruin the experience. - I wouldn't have, yeah. And like, I didn't wanna associate the two. So then this morning while I got ready, I watched my BFFs and- - It's the perfect thing to watch. Oh, okay. I'm just gonna say one thing and then let's just get into it. - Okay. - I do have some notes production wise. - I can't believe they didn't get together. - Were you in a Hamas tunnel? Like what was with that, the quality? I was shook from Josh Richards is like hotel room blurry.

I can't believe they, the remote setup like was really pretty seamless, but I can't believe they didn't get together. Maybe they got together for the first one that they kept alluding to. I can believe that they didn't get together because for the most part they don't, but like wherever Bri is, like she has been in this house that,

I guess she was referring to a lot. She had like a full studio. Josh always goes to the studio in LA. No, she went to someone in Barstool Studio. No, I'm saying up until this point, they never record in person. And it's completely fine. Like they all really, the three of them have premium setups that it's seriously like the toast. Like, but for the fact that

It's fine that they weren't together, but two out of three of them were, where the hell was, what was the scariest looking studio Brianna was in? Was he in Milan? Cause he said he got on a plane to Milan when Brie called him. But like, he didn't even bring a podcast microphone. He was using his wired headphones. Like I was shocked, even though the quality was fine of the audio, the video was really blurry. And Brianna was like in a professional studio, like, uh, hello, a light. Yeah. I was shocked. Yeah.

No, but that's BFF's pod. So much information in the podcast. So let's get into it. Yeah. What do you say? Without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are brought to you by State Farm. When you get a new car, a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is literally what? But really the words you want to be thinking or singing are... Jax, would you like to intro us today? Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

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Right now, our listeners are getting 15% off any annual membership, an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash toast. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash T-O-A-S-T, masterclass.com slash toast. Thank you, slash turt. You're welcome. Our first story, BFF's pod ex-Zach Bryan, Brianna Chicken Fry, sat down to tell her story about the last year or so of her life with Zach Bryan, the last two weeks since they've broken up, and...

where we're at now. So I think the biggest, the main theme from the podcast is that in the last few weeks since they broke up, his team has offered her $12 million to sign an NDA and not speak about the relationship, plus a house and an apartment in New York. The money would have been paid out over three years. She went back and forth with deciding whether or not to take the money, as did Dave and Josh. They did not know how to advise her. Yeah, I thought that was interesting that she was like,

leaning on them. And you know, it's smart. Dave is a smart person, especially when it comes to money. So I thought that was wise of her. In the end, she decided not to take the money. And I think that really shocked a lot of people. And I think it also shocked a lot of people who maybe have never been in a relationship like that because, you know, $12 million is $12 million. Yeah.

But I was reading because someone in the toast was like, would you have taken the money? And all these people were commenting and everyone was like, honestly, yeah. But then people were like, no, I've been in a relationship like this. And like, there's no amount of money that you can't put a price on your own freedom. Like, yeah. When you're out of it, like,

no amount of money is even enticing to you like to have your your voice stripped from you is so you were in a relationship for a whole year where your voice was stripped from you so like I think it's really unbelievable to a lot of people then a lot of people are like well she's rich she's famous and actually Barstool notoriously like pays their talent like not a lot of money if she was a podcaster and an influencer like free of a Barstool contract she probably would make a lot of money but she makes a salary from Barstool that I'm sure is you know generous but it's not

what people probably think someone at that level makes. So many interesting things. I mean, when her barstool contract was up and she offered her double the money to not work there. Yeah. Just to like, I don't know, lay around and follow him. I'm so proud of her that even in the relationship, when she's still like under his spell, that he's still like,

She said no to that because that was shocking. He was making her like, hate, she said herself, her job, her coworkers. So I'm so glad that she said no to that. But I also think dollars and cents wise, of course, like you don't want to take the money because I can't be bought. And like my story and my truth, like you can't silence me. But I also think when you break it down, like,

$4 million over three years for an influencer at her level. I know she has a barstool contract, but I think Dave is going to be very generous with her. He said he would buy her Bronco. He said he would give her the money. I think all of the money made from yesterday's episode will go to Ms. Chicken Fry LLC. - 'Cause there was a lot of ads and I have some notes for Dave on reading ads.

But yeah, there was Game Time. There was Raising Cane. There was also YouTube ads. Yep. I think they made a lot of money on that episode. I think we'll all go to her. Maybe even all the diss track stuff would go to her. I think she'll make a lot of money. And we read the creator list recently. And if you're a pretty big size creator, you can be making about like $2 million a year if you're decent at the job. So like, I think over time she can out earn that money. But if she...

and she didn't tell the story. And as Dave said, like BFF's pod was going to end soon anyway. And especially if she didn't share anything about the breakup because she couldn't, I think that would affect her career in the same way that the last year affected her career where she wasn't being herself.

And it really affected the BFFs pod. I was shocked to hear them say that. Like I received that like just as a consumer, I feel like it kind of fell off a little bit. But for Dave to say like, yeah, we were going to end it one. Cause like I'm a little too old to be talking about like internet drama, but like two, like we weren't like doing much. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that if she,

signed the NDA and like didn't share the truth that it would affect her earning potential because people were sort of like waning in their interest from her. And so. Well that's the other thing. That's what's so fucked up about this whole thing is like he

made her into a version of herself that like the internet hated. And if you could like the reception on TikTok before she started dating Zach Bryan and now after is so different. Like she really like that's valuable. That's part of your job, how people see you, how they engage with you, how they follow you. And like for him to have stripped that from her, like he really, it's so textbook,

and like isolating you from your friends and family, from your career, from your job. It's so many things that he stripped from her and the fact that she's only been out of it for two weeks and she's able to see it so zoomed out. Jackie, she's 25. Like she's very, well first of all, extremely smart and well-spoken, but like just to see these things, like I think it takes some people months and years to really kind of zoom out and understand what they went through and dissect random moments being like, oh yeah, that was abuse, that was narcissism. Like she,

kind of like woke up in an instant and it's beyond impressive how mature she is for her age. I was shocked when I found out she was 25. Yeah, very, very mature. And also like I liked what she said when it's like, there's obviously stuff about him that he doesn't want out there because that's what the $12 million is for. Like whatever he's struggling with, whatever, you know, even...

just a lot of things. And she was like, I didn't not take the money so I could like tell all his secrets. I didn't take the money so I can say what happened to me, what I experienced and I could like go forth and tell my story. But she's not spilling his secrets and sharing all the dirty details about him. And that's why like she really is being so respectful about it as much as she can. While also like she had a public relationship, she's having a public breakup. And so she, if the, if she wants the public like to,

care for her still and like be invested like she also has to do that last chapter which she wouldn't have been able to do and if there wasn't that then that's not what being an influencer is no because she still is protecting him and she's not you know when you break up with somebody she even protected him by telling us that he called them idiots and not

- R words, yeah, that was interesting. - I mean, you could see when Dave read the text of the screenshot, she's like holding her head 'cause she's like, she's even protecting him 'cause now people know he uses that word and like,

- Now we know. - And so for him to have gone up to, like if you would have asked me like how much money do you think Zach Ryan offered Brianna to like not talk about their, I would have said like maybe $2 million. The fact that it was 12 is indicative of something greater, right? And she's not, but he's such an idiot because if he had just ended the relationship with a modicum of decency and respect, she obviously has a lot of love for him.

she would have probably continued to protect him and talked about it in her personal life, but that's it. He's such an idiot to do the whole thing via text, speak to her so fucking disgustingly, even when they're showing screenshots, get your shit out. Fucking monster. If he had just acted with the smallest bit of grace, they would seriously, we would not be here, we would not be having this conversation, and he wouldn't have even needed to pay her. - He could have even broken up with her, went to Oklahoma, had the conversation over text, just not been on Raya,

Let her announce the breakup when she wanted to and let her like go forth and heal. But yeah, it would have saved him $12 million potentially. And then also whatever this is about to do. Right. She gave him a lot of rope and he hung himself with it. Like he is so dumb. I every little window into who he was. Okay. So you didn't get to this story. It was, I can't believe they saved it to the end. Jackie was so shocking.

Two things. One, you know, one night, one morning she woke up and was singing, last night we let the liquor talk, and literally they didn't talk for a week. You singing someone else's song in my house, in my apartment that I paid for? Like, fucking crazy lunatic, okay? Oh my God. But this other story, like, is really, and all the stories she told are obviously something that she's comfortable sharing. And when she, in the first clip, she was talking about how there was a night in, I think, December. She was like...

unspeakable things happen. I don't know what happened, but like, I feel like she's still not sharing like really what, like I wouldn't be surprised if there was different forms of abuse. Like, because she wasn't sharing all that. But the story she told at the end is like for her birthday. So December being like 11 months ago. I was having a hard time with the timeline. I know, so was I. Hold on. December being 11 months ago. Because we're only in November. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So...

It's her birthday, he's on tour, you know? And as a gift, he rented this huge house on the water in New Hampshire for her family and her friends and her to all go. And then he's like, "I'm gonna come." And she's like, "Oh, okay, great." And then the whole time leading up, he's complaining, "I'm gonna be tired, I've worked so hard." She's like, "Don't come, please, don't come."

Of course he comes. The first night they're doing like, you know, bonfire and beers, like chill, you know, she's like kind of like earthy like that. All of her friends are sitting around, they're sitting around the fire and like she could just tell like it's going to be bad. He is like making little jabs at people, like not being the kind of boyfriend. And she was like kind of panicked about it. She was like, okay, I'm going to bed. It was 1130 and she thought he would follow her and he didn't.

So she goes upstairs and she does go to sleep. She's just like, I can't handle this. She wakes up an hour and a half later, like screaming, smashing glass, like what the fuck's going on? She runs downstairs. Everyone's like hiding in the basement. All of her girlfriends hysterically crying. And she's like, what the fuck's going on? She looks outside. Her aunt, like her old lady aunt, is like holding him back, like trying to get him to calm down. Apparently, like while they were all sitting at the bonfire, like he just snapped. Like nobody was doing anything. He snapped. He's like, you're all low lives. You'll never accomplish anything in your life. I'm successful. You're not like...

Probably like having a chip on his shoulder that he paid for this house. Like I literally don't know. And she was like, I couldn't even go out there. Like when he would get like this, like you just, there's no coming back from you kind of have to just like let him deactivate. But all of her friends were like filming him just like have on record for Brianna, like, like this crazy, toxic, abusive behavior.

Huge fight, whatever. He goes back on tour. She comes with him. And like the fact that her friends had filmed him, like obviously had really bothered him. She was like, that's why they offered me so much money. Part of it. Like I have all this footage. Okay. From nights like this. Yeah. But every time for like the next couple of weeks following that event, like when they would be together, he would walk, like literally walk off stage onto the bus to see her and like start filming her. You like that? You like when I film you in your private? Like fucking crazy. Fucking crazy. Oh my God. Yeah. So it was a story she told at the end. Everybody was just sort of like...

Wow. Like the reception. I mean, there's nothing to say. I thought that Josh and Dave did a good job of like being supportive. But like there's no there's no correct way to respond to something like that. Yeah. Yeah. They did a really good job of being supportive. Also, like being angry on her behalf. And she wasn't angry. She was just sort of like sad. Yeah. No way. And by the way, and I'm glad she addressed it. She looked frail.

Like the light from her eyes had died. She looked so thin. She was like, I lost 15 pounds that I did not have to lose. Like she's always been a very skinny girl. My first thought when I saw it was like her bones are sticking out of her jeans. Yeah. And like that's what a relationship like that does to you. Right. And that's what happened in the relationship. And then the last two weeks have also been really hard. Like and also asking yourself like the biggest question of like,

- The money versus, and the thing is, even if she had taken the money, like I wouldn't, it's not like I would have any less. - I would not judge. - I mean, one, we wouldn't know, but two, I would not judge at all. Like she said, she doesn't come from much. Like her family will never see that amount of money in their lives. - That was really sad to hear, like talking about how, like turning down that type of money, like. - Her family was like, her family was like, take the money. - She grew up vacationing in like a trailer park. Like this is somebody who did not grow up like this.

You have to be incredibly principled and scrupled to turn that kind of money down and look your parents in the face. And them telling her to take it is completely understandable. Yeah.

Like, it's not like a hypothetical, like that's real money. And she said, I was ready to take the money and I was like ready to sign. And they actually were slow and sending me everything and weren't going to send me the money. Like that day, that's why Dave was like, send her the money. And in that moment, like she was like, okay, nevermind. So if they had moved faster, she said, they're stupid. If they had moved faster, like it would have been done.

Yeah, I can only imagine like what he's really truly hiding. Obviously, there's some sort of alcohol abuse. I imagine you get violent when you drink. Like there's your mind goes to a million places because she's not really sharing like I think the worst of it. Even though the stuff she's sharing is so fucking horrible. I hate this fucking guy. He better hope we never run into each other. Like I'm throwing hands. I am.

and so ugly to act like that. Like, I'm sorry, you can't act like that if you're that ugly, if your head is that square, you can't. - Yeah. - And you know what, he's not 5'11".

He is. He's not. He's not, right? He paid off that site. He paid off that website because so many people were like, I take pictures of him. I'm 5'7". He's literally two inches taller than me. Okay. So he's short, square-headed fuck. I fucking hate this guy. Like, I was actually, and this isn't a situation like I can relate to. So I don't know if this is where I worry, but I was actually triggered like listening to it. Just, it's so textbook. It's also like imperceptible, right? It's not like she walked into a room with a bruise on her face. So it's like, you're not being abused. It's,

It's verbal abuse. It's really mental abuse. It's emotional abuse. Like it's so hard to. Psychological, you know, hot and cold and you don't know what you're going to get and you're walking on eggshells. And then the amount of love that you got kind of like tied you over for the next time. And even when it's bad, you're like, well, I know the love party's coming. So like, let's just weather the storm. As she said, like deactivate him. Fame and millions of dollars. Like that's really fucks with the dynamic too. And they're both famous. And like, she's got her own thing going that he can like,

wheeled against her. Yeah, anything that brought her joy made him sick. Oh, I mean, the Golden Globes? Yeah. Dress? The tour, that's what ended their relationship. She took two weeks to do her tour. After being on tour with him for a whole fucking year. And he couldn't do that.

And I'm like, not only could he not, he was supposed to be with her. That was the plan. Like that was there. And by the, and like the, that's what's equitable in their relationship. A year for him, two weeks for her. Sure. Okay. Yeah. He couldn't be with her. He couldn't even just stay home. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

I obviously I'm kind of well known for my takes on cancel culture. Just know like when I talk about cancel culture I'm not talking about this. Like this is the exception. Like seriously I want him his record label to drop him. Like and I know this will make seriously no impact on his career. Like as a male rock star like this is the sort of behavior you just you let it slide. But he has so many female fans and it was those female fans that like really tortured Brianna over the last year. Like making horrible videos about her and

Like I want him done. I never want, like I hate, I'm sorry, like you are an abuser. You don't get to like be famous anymore. Stop it. I do really wonder how this will affect his career. I don't, he won't be dropped by his record label or anything like that. But like, I wonder how it will affect fans. I wonder how it will affect his fellow artists at award shows. Like Noah Khan is not fucking with him anymore. Right. But also like, he seems like a fucking piece of work, piece of shit. So like maybe he didn't have that many friends to begin with. But oh wait. And then we have to talk about Rose and Deb.

Rose and Deb? So Rose is his ex-wife. Okay. And then Deb was the girlfriend that he dated before Brianna, who like his fans loved. I think she was a toaster because people used to be like, Deb, Deb, Deb. I was like, who's Deb? And he broke up with her. Kind of now like looks really similar. Like abruptly out of nowhere started dating Brianna. But Brianna also maintains that he was broken up with her when they stuck together. Yes, that the timeline is totally kosher. Because people said like they both broke up with their people to be together. That they both cheated. Yeah. Yeah.

But now we know, I don't think when he got divorced from Rose, like he was liquid or famous enough to like pay her off. But I do imagine that Rose, who has been radio silent, like she's still like a content creator. So she went back to live hair, makeup, like that's it. Never once spoke about anything. And it's clear that like maybe she got a settlement of sorts. And so I think Brianna feels like- People said Rose is a toaster? Deb. Deb is ex-wife? No, Rose is ex-wife. But she does content? Yeah.

Deb. You just said, okay, you said Rose went back to hair and makeup. Okay. Deb is a toaster. She went back to hair and makeup. Rose was the military wife, right? Yes, exactly. But he didn't have money at the time, so nobody would have cared. Who could she tell? Like, we don't care. But then he was really getting pretty famous while dating Deb. And I think it's like safe to assume that perhaps he settled with her. Yeah. And so I think Brianna feels like they're,

other women who weren't in the position that she was in to not take the money. Like she can live and pay her rent and do things. You know, that's, see, like he makes them move out of their apartments, come live in my house and everything's in his name. But it's like, yeah, we're moving near your family. So this is our house. Our kids are going to live here, but then boom, get out, get your shit and leave. Like, so someone who's not liquid, like Brianna is Brianna has a career, uh,

is fucking screwed yeah so they he kind of puts him in a position to have to take the money why didn't margo tell me that the other what the past girlfriend got a million dollars she told me that is that what margo said yes i don't know that let me ask her where she knows this is what happens when satchel lives in my house i know stuff it's so true and like i don't have to download and send tiktoks jackie just goes down to margo i do i go to margo's room i'm like pull up this one it's it's tiktok hour everybody turn off the lights here deb got one million i didn't hear that but it's possible

Margot just knows stuff, you know? It's so true. She's so young and connected. She's probably talking to Deb.

- For sure. Now, not to make everything about me, but my immediate thought this morning was really just genuine pride that I never disliked Brianna and I never liked SpongeBob SquareChin. I am so real for that, like real sees real, and I'm a forever fan of Brianna now. She's got charisma, she's got talent. I want the world for her. I need $12 million, I could wipe my ass with $12 million. That's what I need from Brianna. - Margot said,

She heard it in a TikTok. She's not sure how true it is. Okay. Got it. Okay. So spreading, Margo spreading misinformation. Right, right. Now I need, now I know I need to fact check her. I agree with you about Brianna. Now it's on us, like people who are kind and loving. The women who were so excited, happy, joyful to tear her down because they were living, she was living a life that they could only dream of. Meanwhile, it was a fucking nightmare. Now it's on us to fill up Brianna's wallet. Like.

Like, subscribe, download. Follow. So true. I followed. I want to watch her tour documentary. Everything. And get her back on Surviving Barstool. It's now up to us to make her realize that she made the right decision because not only in her heart, but also in her pocketbook, it will even out over time.

It's just really also a reminder about the internet because I think that a couple of months ago you would have looked at this person, you know, plucked by a rock star, living a dream, private jets tour. Like this guy, everybody wants him. He's so ugly. They love him. They think he's so hot.

Literally, you would have thought like I would give anything to be her to be this life. It's a dream. Meanwhile, she's living a fucking nightmare. Yeah. So it's important to remember when consuming other people's lives. Like, of course, what do they say? Like comparison is the thief of joy. Like not only that, like you have no fucking idea. You can't compare when you don't know the

The truth. You're getting 10% less. Yeah. I followed her for a while. And I remember she like posted like happy birthday stuff for Zach. Like the most glowing, loving, like enmeshed. Him for her too. Twin flame sort of thing. And I'm like, wow, a perfect relationship. It's a dream. How amazing. Yeah. So social media is not real, but you should already know that. And everybody is fighting their own battles. One thing that I hope she...

unlearns a little bit is she kept like taking responsibility. She's like, because she was telling a story about something crazy he did. She's like, and I went back, you know? And that's on me. She kept like taking responsibility because I think she's been so beat down by the internet. Like, take accountability, take accountability. And so she sort of blames herself a lot for like believing him, for loving him, for, you know, getting swayed by him easily. And I

I think she really needs to like unburden herself from that. Like that's what abuse is. Like it's, it's literally not your fault. It's his. Yeah. I think over time she will, I think in two weeks, like you said, like she's already recognized it for what it was, which is like major strides. And that will be part of the next like phase of her healing is recognizing that it wasn't her fault. And that like,

this is what these people do. And she, as much as it's like, you have choices, like you could just leave. Like she couldn't, where, where is she going? She couldn't like, and he made her feel like nothing without him. She separated her from her family. So I think eventually like she'll,

unlearn that. But right now that's where she's at, especially because she knows that the haters response is going to be like, well, you could have left. But why did you say you're the one who went back? So she's like, that is on me that I stayed, that I went back. Eventually, I think she'll see like technically, yes, she had the choice to leave, but she didn't really have choices.

Yeah. I do wonder what this means for the future of the BFFs. Like, are they going to give it another go? Well, they fucking better until they make $12 million and then they can end the show. Correct. And so either they can wait till they make $36 million so that Brie gets her 12 or they can just give it all to Brie and

wait till they make 12 and give it to Brie and then they can move on. I wonder how they'll do it. Dave is really like, I know he gets so much shit, but he is such a generous person. He really like rides so hard for the people that he cares about. And I feel like he gets so much shit for being like misogynist, whatever. Like he's always like the girl, the women that like work for him. He's,

- Well, they love him. - Like always doing right by them. Like you couldn't ask for a better boss than what Dave is doing for her right now. - Especially in what she's gone through, like a better ally. Like somebody, I'm sure like her, like she had legal help. Like, I don't know, where do you even get a lawyer to negotiate a fucking settlement with your ex-boyfriend?

who's not scared of nothing. 'Cause another boss would be like, listen, this is a liability. We don't want the stink. They could sue the hell out of us. And he's like, we're telling the truth. You can't sue me. You think I'm extorting you? You're bribing her. Like just riding so hard for her and making her so unafraid knowing that she has someone in her corner who has her back, which is really nice, but also has like deep pockets. - Who has a lot of resources. Yeah, it's true. - Which is also important. - It's true. And I liked that Dave said that. Like it was important for him to know, like you're not the only one who has money. Like it's not a big deal. I have it too.

You want to pay me? I'll pay Brie. Right. So I feel like he deserves a lot of credit for that. And he's always been that way.

- Yeah, I agree. It was a good showing for him. - Do you also feel like so much of this is like Taylor Swift coded, not only because they keep saying smallest man, but because like Zach Bryan like trashed her like two days ago. Taylor wrote, Parsley wrote Dave a letter. - And Brianna, I was looking at her TikTok yesterday and people were like, you need to listen to the ex Taylor Swift song. Like now you know what it's like. And she was like, you're so right. You're so right. She's gonna become a big Swiftie. 'Cause she's like not a Swiftie. - Yeah, because she was with him. Who's tweeting that stuff. Meanwhile, Parsley loves Dave.

Parsley loves Dave. So that's like probably a developing story. Oh, he keeps like releasing music. Oh, he releases songs. Like girl, we don't care. Take your guitar and go cry. Shove up your ass. She literally shove it up your ass. Like the hate. I went from being like so indifferent about this person. Like I just kind of like never got into it. To it's my mission now to destroy his life. Like I hate him. No, I went from being like really sad about their breakup because I thought their relationship was something and like that it wasn't.

to being so relieved about their breakup that now I need to remember this for the next like couple that I ship when they break up. Like I need to realize like I need to have relief and not sadness because when people get to a place of breaking up, like that's a bad relationship. It's true. It's true. So I don't know if I'll ever learn that though. And I also think, I feel like, you know, this,

phrase of love bombing, people have really like, it started to lose its meaning. People were like, this guy's texting me so much. He's love bombing me. No meeting someone four days later and getting a tattoo of them. That is love bombing. Yeah. A lot of these terms have lost their meaning and narcissists really hard for the people who are going through it. Yeah. Every guy that's like not acting in a nice manner is a narcissist. Like that's not what it means. And we need to bring back meaning to those terms in it. Cause I feel like her situation is really textbook. Um,

But when those words are always slung around, it's like, it's hard to really picture it. Yeah. So I agree with you about the love bombing. And also sometimes people like will be just being nice and they're like, they're love bombing. It's like, yeah, no. And it's a girl's like only want to date assholes. So the guy's like nice incense flowers after the first date. He's love bombing. No, he's literally just nice. And like, that's still true, but she was love bombed. Correct. Great.

- Well, that's the first story. I agree that it's developing. - Oh, I'm sorry. I think that him waiting three days, yada yada, a lot of it had to do with the election they were saying, which I thought was so interesting. He really tried to bury this story. Meanwhile, Donald who? Kamala who? Who gives a fuck?

Literally, I feel like it's bigger than it ever could have been. People actually are so desperately seeking a distraction from the election that I actually think he so did himself a disservice. He played this so wrong. But I thought it was so interesting how they really tried to maneuver with the election. Yeah, if he had gotten it done before the election, then the election would have happened and we would have forgotten. But in this kind of dry spell post-election... Celebrities aren't doing much. This is all we've got.

It's true. It was actually really terrible timing. It's bigger than ever. Obsessed. Yeah, me too. So just rooting for Brie. Constantly. Number one fan. Should we start like a, I'm going to start literally like a fan page. Like just hyping her up. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Like if I have to talk about something else, sure. Yeah, it's not bad.

Okay. It's good. It's some holiday cheer meister because the Skims holiday campaign has dropped and it is starring Goldie Hawn and her kids, Kate and Oliver Hudson, and then their kids. So it's like a big Hawn-Hudson family affair Skims campaign. Really cute. So different. Unexpected. Like if you said Skims is going to tap like a classic family, I don't know who I would have thought of. I wouldn't have thought like the Hudsons, but they really are so famous across like different...

- Age generations and Oliver and the kids. - Oliver. - It was really cute, I love Oliver. - Oliver doesn't mean as much to anyone as he does to us. - Yeah, for some reason, like we are obsessed with him. - I don't know. - And-- - Well, he's in a lot of stuff, but there's something that he was-- - But he was in something we watched. He played someone's ex-husband. - He was in something we watched that's like one of our movies. - Wait, was he in "Daisy Jones"? - But that wouldn't be why we love him. Like he's in plenty of stuff. - Read his IMDb. - He's in "Nashville".

For six years. Yeah. That might have been the one. I think he was in Scream Queens too, but I remember already loving him when I knew he was going to be in Scream Queens. I feel like I really started to like him from his social media. That too. And then they do the podcast.

Yeah, and I want to say something. I actually think it's crazy that they've never invited us on their podcast. That's true. Because they only invite siblings, and there aren't a lot of siblings, especially siblings who podcast. Our podcast is bigger than theirs. I keep waiting to be invited on that show. Is that weird? Yeah, but then we'd have to go on it. I mean, yes, facts. We always start complaining, like, we don't get invited, we don't come, and then we get invited and we literally say no.

We just want to be invited. We don't want to go. We just want to be thought of. Yeah, it's really true. And that you also people could take solace in that, like knowing we're the type of people that if you invite us, we won't come. Like we'll save you the plate. So you look like a good guy. Yeah. And then you don't have to see us. And then we are not like chippy about you. Chippy.

I thought this was really well done. Like I loved the whole aesthetic of it. Like the green plaid pajamas. They were like at this like country club looking type of brunch. It was really very cute. And well, I mean, they just fucking crush it. Like the celebrity endorsements department of skims.com is so top tier. I have no notes. And I have notes for everyone. Yeah. I wonder if they have really big budget or it's like they have decent budget, but Kim has good relationships and it's an honor to be thought of.

Yeah, I think that they're not like, you know, paying people extreme amounts, but I don't think they're lowballing people. I think they're giving fair offers, but there's so much that comes with. It's not just the campaign. It's really like the hype, the social media, like you get numbers, you get followers. And it's such a relevant kind of

internet first brand that for a podcaster like you do it yeah and there are just a couple of podcasters after all and they're just coming off of like banger after banger between the Tate McRae Olivia Munn and I'm sure they're gonna have a bunch of holiday stuff yeah Tate McRae was technically holiday also I meant to say we should go to Oliver and Kate's podcast for Halloween ideas because they have siblings it's a fucking great idea

Just go through all their guests. Let them do the legwork. I love that. Someone remind us next year that we said that. Please. Are you ready for our next story? I'm just going to take a negative turn, if I may. Oh, okay. Let's get negative. My favorite. Liam Payne's friend, hotel employee, and alleged drug dealer have been charged in connection to the singer's death.

Liam Payne's friend, a hotel employee, and an alleged drug dealer have been charged in connection to the former One Direction member's death, the National Crime and Correctional Prosecutor's Office announced in a press release on Wednesday. The friend, who was not identified but reportedly presented himself as Payne's manager, was charged with abandonment for allegedly failing to inform the late singer's family that he had suffered a drug relapse.

Police reportedly tried to get in touch with the Argentine businessman when Payne fell to his death on October 16th via a cell number that hotel managers had provided, but he did not pick up the phone. A lawyer from a major firm reportedly showed up later to inquire whether the friend faced any charges, which led to the businessman testifying as a witness. A judge then decided that the friend had allegedly breached his duty of care with respect to Payne. He now faces a sentence of 5 to 15 years in prison for abandonment.

Meanwhile. That's really crazy. I didn't know that like you could be held responsible. Yeah, it is really crazy. I mean, I don't know what the laws are in another country and if the same would apply here. But to me, that seems unfair. Like I don't.

Tend to agree. In this country, if you sell me drugs and I die, are you responsible? You can go to jail. That's like what's going on with Matthew Perry now. Right, right, right. Okay. So the drug dealer... But you're going to jail like not for drug dealing, but for murder, manslaughter, whatever you want to call it? I think so, yes. That's pretty crazy, no? I mean, like you shouldn't be dealing drugs. You shouldn't be dealing drugs and you should be punished for dealing drugs. It's really...

It's not a hard thing to discuss, but it's kind of hard to say publicly, like on a podcast, because I think there would be a lot of judgment from people if I said what I was thinking. I feel like, because I didn't know if you sold someone drugs and they ended up dying from those drugs. You should be going to jail because you are a drug dealer and that is illegal. Right. Does that make you a murderer? I don't know. Is this like a bad hot take? I've never thought about it. I think a lot of...

I think there's a lot of discourse about it, but I think that to say more than that, like, I think we just get shit for it. So I'm just, like, not in the mood. You know what I mean? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially because my thoughts would be, like, half-baked. You know, I'm just now discovering this, so I need to, like, sit on it before I come to, like, a full conclusion. Yeah. Feel free to influence me in the comments. Yeah, what do you think? Which way should we go? Should we be charging them with man's laughter? See, I know, like...

Like a doctor, like Michael Jackson's doctor, right? Like I know that, but that's because like you're a doctor, not a drug dealer. So that I understand completely. But I guess I have like lower expectations for drug dealers. I don't know. Yeah, but also like when you're a doctor, like you are asserting your authority over someone. And then like you took an oath.

To protect and make the best decisions on behalf of your patient. Yeah. And killing them with drugs is not that. Yeah. I understand what you're saying, but I do. But I think even more so this businessman manager, like. That he's going to jail because he didn't tell his family that he relapsed.

- Right, and like if you were to trace it back, like could things have gone differently if he did? Yes. Does that make him responsible? I don't know. - By the way, like the girlfriend who left a few days before, like if she had been there, would she be charged? - Probably, sounds like they've got some unique laws over there. - That's really crazy. Thank God she left. - I also haven't heard from her a lot.

But she also said like leaving is my biggest regret, but now like knowing everybody's going down around him, she shouldn't have been there. - And also like really what could she have done? - Right. But also I'm out of my depth here. - As am I, as am I. It's hard when something like this happens 'cause you don't desperately wanna blame someone and someone to be held responsible just 'cause it makes you feel better. But in a situation like this, it's like, okay, we can blame the hotel guy who sold him drugs, the manager who didn't tell his family that he had relapsed. But at the end of the day,

It might have still happened. Yeah. Okay. If he couldn't get drugs from this person, he would have gotten from that person. His family would have held an intervention. He would have said, go fuck you. Like you never know. Right. So it's hard to, to place blame, even though it feels good to do that. Yeah, I agree. But in this situation, it actually doesn't like feel like justice at all. It just, it feels like someone else. It feels a little bit like a stretch. Yeah. At least for me. Me too. Are you ready for our next story? Number four. Do you think I am? I think you are.

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Toast co-host Paige DeSorbo, who has a new show on Amazon Live. She's inviting guests into her bed where they're going to gossip, share nighttime beauty routines, cook snacks from the comfort of her fluffy bed, and it's all shoppable on Amazon.

So Ben and I have done Amazon Lives where we're cooking, very Rachel Ray, doing our favorite, all of our home essentials are from, especially our kitchen ones are from Amazon. So it's like really fun to share that. Me and Margo do like, you know, fashion ones, beauty ones. I love doing them. You can follow me if you'd like. You can head to amazon.com slash the toast where you'll find all of our Amazon Lives along with Paige DeSorbo's new show, In Bed With Paige DeSorbo. You can also stream and shop Amazon Lives new live TV channel on freebie or a prime video under the DIY section and you'll be able to shop along on your phone while you watch,

Such a fun way, like we're scrolling and we're shopping, like doing it together. Premium. Today's episode is also brought to you by Taylor Farms. Taylor Farms chopped salad kits deliver the freshest, best tasting salads to eat at home or on the go. Taylor Farms is a family owned company on a mission to create healthy lives through fresh, delicious food. And their chopped salad kits defy boring in every bag with over 30 flavors and even mini salads.

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It's giving nationwide. And it's true. Once you are aware of Taylor Farms, you really will see them everywhere. It's so good to have on hand, obviously for yourself, but also if you're throwing a dinner party, once they make the salad, just get a Taylor Farms. It's going to be better than anything you would have made. So Taylor Farms Chopped Salad Kits are available at all major grocery stores. Feel free to check them out. Today's episode is also brought to you by Saks.com, the premier digital platform for luxury fashion. With the holidays right around the corner, Saks.com is making it easy to find the perfect gifts for even the pickiest on our lists.

Also, if you're just like shopping for yourself, like screw everybody else, screw your sisterhood, some would say. Saks.com has got you covered there too because everybody, it's like kind of exhausting being invited to so many fabulous events this holiday season. Like what are we wearing? Are we out for a repeating note? We're taking lots of pictures. So treat yourself like you're going shopping for everybody else. Like throw yourself an Allison Olivia dress at Saks.com. Like just add it to your cart. You really won't regret it. They have the best designers. They have you covered with the most versatile selection of fashion, beauty, home decor, and so much more.

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Spoiling yourself a little bit. So if you're looking for gifts that will help you win the holidays, head to Saks.com now for a seamless shopping experience. Whether you're shopping for loved ones, treating yourself to something special, Saks.com will give you endless inspiration that will enhance your holiday season. So get ready to be the best gift giver ever and find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every hard to shop for person this season at Saks.com. Let's make this holiday season memorable for you and your loved ones. And also there's nothing worse than like having reputation within your families, like being a not great gift giver. Um,

So let's reset. Shoppingatstacks.com is kind of foolproof. You will get something that pretty much is guaranteed to get liked, and then you'll get better gifts in return. So selfishly, you should be shoppingatstacks.com for those reasons. Thank you, turd.com.

You're welcome. Our next story, another day, another Martha update because- What is Queen? Oh, I'm obsessed with this story. Martha Stewart said that the New York Post reporter who covered her trial was dead now, thank goodness. But turns out she's not dead. She's very much alive.

And she saw what Martha said and she's rebutting. Yes. So in the film, Martha talked about how the New York Post columnist who covered Stewart's trial was dead now, thank goodness, except she isn't. The journalist's name is Andrea Pizer and she used her latest column for the newspaper to declare, I'm alive, bitch. She started working for the New York Post in 1989 and has published at least eight other stories in 2024. She said, news of my passing came as a shock.

She said of her uncredited cameo appearance, she said, but rather feeling angry or worried that Martha has offed me or to seek an emergency order of protection, I am overwhelmingly sad in the face of Martha's bitterness.

Loser. - Okay, I wasn't really interested in what she said. - But she's alive. - But her being alive is definitely like an interesting anecdote in this story. I'm choosing to believe Martha's version. I love that-- - That she's dead? - Yeah, like what's more mean than like, not only are you not dead, like you're so relevant, I thought you were dead. Like it's such a slay.

It's such a slug. And Martha didn't mean that way because they say the opposite of love is in hate, it's indifference. Like, I don't even think about you because I thought you were dead. Like, it's really, she, and the fact that this woman is alive is truly neither here nor there. Like, it's, Martha wins. Martha stays winning. She really does. And like now having the,

privilege of hindsight on this situation and knowing that like what Martha did was a big nothing burger and that this woman was reporting it like gleefully that Martha was going to jail for this. She's the villain in this story. No one is like feels bad for you that like Martha thinks you're dead. You have to get an order of protection. Like seriously, shut up Loserville. Population you. I couldn't agree more. Like the way I don't care. Like, oh, you're alive. That's great. We don't care. No, we don't care.

Give Martha back her millions. Then we'll talk. Yeah. Until... Like, we have to stay consuming Martha Stewart and Brianna Chicken Fry. And Brianna Chicken Fry. They should have a show together that we can all just, like, keep... Donate. Like a live... Like a live calling... Call-a-thon. Where we all...

Just call. I'd like to donate $5,000 to Martha and Brianna. And we just leave the channel on. Like I go out of my house, but I leave it on. So it keeps like streaming and getting plays and advertiser revenue to finally pay back these women. And then Brianna can come off the air when she hits 12 million. Martha will be sat there for a few years. Martha won't rest. Yeah. Works for me. Works for me.

Works for me too. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? I am. Just a little random Bravo news. A little update. Because Bravo was hitting pause on The Real Housewives of Dubai after two seasons. Oh. Yeah, Bravo has put a pause on The Real Housewives of Dubai. The most current season starred a bunch of women. And the cast was told a couple days ago the third season of the reality series would not be happening at this time.

I'm shocked. Not that I think that it's so good that it should be on pause, but people really seem to have liked the first season. Like, I actually remember not watching it and feeling like a little FOMO because, like, all my friends were talking about it. I haven't heard much about the second season. But I think if they were to put anything on pause, I have heard the most horrible things about this season of Real Housewives of New York. Like,

I like end up on like recap podcasts like seriously talking about how people want to shoot themselves when they watch it like it's dreadful and so I thought what I thought you were about to say was that they're putting it on pause because it's been so poorly received and the ratings were like abysmal interesting but I guess not no I guess they'll just you know trudge through that but when I hear this about Dubai like my mind obviously goes to okay well Caroline Stanbury is available how

House Ice of London is picking up. Like I do think it's time for Caroline to move back to London and join the cast there. However, I also saw Architectural Digest was at her new villa in Dubai that like she built and outfitted with her new husband. Like she's very much living there. That doesn't work for me.

She's putting down roots. Yeah. She got a new house. Like it's so, it's customized to like two with T. They're obviously like very happy and very much living there. But it's time to go back to London. They need you. Was she on Real Housewives of Dubai? Yes. Caroline Sanbury. Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought she was, but I forgot. Um,

Like this doesn't affect my life. And based on the fact that I didn't even hear this news, I don't think it affects a lot of other people. And that's why it's being put on pause. But it speaks again to like this weird jerseys on pause. New York is in the gutter. Actually, OC is having a fabulous season. I've been hearing fabulous. Yeah. Like John, John and Jen to this new girl, the girly Jen, they're loving her who has like a drama with Shohei Otani. Um,

But New York's on pause. Jersey is like indefinitely. They don't know if they're coming back. Beverly Hills is on its way. So it's, again, this conversation, and I won't get into it, that we talk about seriously once a quarter, is like where do we go from here? But there are places to go because Sex Lives and Mormon Lives did it. And you can too. And you can too. You can find like relevant women, housewives, mothers, who are going to flourish in the digital age, and it can all work. Yeah.

So those are the fast five. When it comes to Queenie and Weenie, it would actually be insulting to the intelligence of our listeners to say anything other than biggest Weenie of every week for the rest of my life is Zach Bryan. Seriously, only sending bad vibes your way and hope literally everything bad happens to you. Like, I fucking hate you. And Queenie, of course, Brianna Chicken Fry handled this entire saga like a queen.

So much maturity, so much honesty, so much vulnerability. And really, to see someone at 25 make the decisions that she has made in the last week, it is admirable. I think she's becoming a great role model for young women, honestly. And I'm sending her positive vibes and only good things her way. Only good things. Where can we mail the check? Yeah, just let us know. Just let us know how we can support chickenfryendeavors.com.

That's our show, you guys. That's our week. Hope everybody enjoyed the week and has a great weekend. We will see you on Monday. Thank you so much for listening to The Toast, the millennial morning show where we all deliver. Where we all. I think we all. I guess we're all doing it. I think we all deliver. Where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere. Podcasts can be found on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where we listen to podcasts. Find us at Toast. We have a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. We will see you on Monday. Love ya. Bye.