Annie, Hallie and Messy Chessy: Thursday, October 31st, 2024
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Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to the Toaster Win 2024 Extravaganza. I'm Hallie Parker. And I'm Annie Parker. No, you're not. What's her last name? Annie James. Annie James. Oh, I did know that. I'm Annie James. And we are joined with special guest... Oh, hello, I'm Aunt Jessie. Hello.

Oh, and Jessie is here. Hello. What's her last name? Hello. And Jessie the hooker. Jessie Doubtfire Garton Kelsey.

And Jessie is here to see you both. It's so good to see you. Chessers, we miss you. By the way, everybody says Chessie with a C. It's a J. Her name is fucking Jessie. It's not, actually. You look it up. You Google. It's Jessie with a J. Why do people say Chessie with a C? Ben, you might want to take several seats. It's literally Chessie. Google it. I love that none of us know the names of our characters.

Excuse me, none of us. I literally knew my name. Two thirds. It's Jess. You're positive it's Jessie. Yes. I was getting ready. That's what makes the lore so strong. If she were Jessie, she'd be any other Jessie. Understood. Jackie, as I was getting dressed today, I literally had to say, Alexa, I could not remember Hallie's last name. Like, I knew Annie James, and I literally said, Alexa, what is...

What the fuck's her name? Annie's... Halle's last name. And Parker, yes. Nick Parker. Nick Parker. My daddy. It's true. Legend. Legend. What's so funny is I googled Annie James this morning for accessory ideas, and then I forgot my own name. So, Ben and I are in the same studio. We're on different cameras. You just... It's important to know what's really going on behind the scenes at Toastoween. It is 6,000 degrees in this place. We are both wearing...

You have no idea how hot it is. Oh, you have no idea. On my FaceTime, like, Claudia, we always have this angle, but Chessie looks like she's been taken hostage. I can't breathe. This is like the tightest. Look at this sweat mark. Can you see? I have under boob sweat marks. It's so hot. It's giving summer camp. It's giving summer camps. And it's giving cross transatlantic continental podcasting, which is so parent trap coded.

We have one fan, and I was very generous because Chessie was already sweating through her shirt when we got here. But Ben, I am letting you know, we will be sharing that fan. You have no idea how hot it is over here. You have no idea. Chessie's bosom is moist. I can't breathe. So is Annie's. No, Claude, do you see? No, Annie, do you see? Do you see Ben's sweat mark? Annie, look. It's getting bigger.

Look. Look. Listen, it's that summertime Napa Valley heat. It's that summertime Napa Valley heat. And, you know, growing up on a vineyard with my servant, Jesse, I obviously know what it's like to exist in the warm climates. And I travel a lot because my dad is, like, really wealthy. So I'm only at this camp, like, for fun. I'm spending the rest of the summer at my vineyard. Most of us are at this camp for fun. Yeah.

I would hope so. Nick Parker is so rich. Not enough people talk about how rich he is. They both are. Both the parents. Independently wealthy. And then when they come together, blended. Well, that's good.

By the way, alternate title for the parent trap, three identical strangers. Or blended. Yeah. Like the way they were both so wealthy, it's better because if they had gotten separated and one had to go with a poor parent and one went with a rich parent, that wouldn't have been fair. No, it was just really like two completely different lifestyles, but both at a very high level of living. At a very high level of living. So happy Toast-a-ween, everyone. The day is here. Halloween. What fun.

Yeah, and it's nice. I like October because I celebrate Toast to Ween, but also my birthday, October 11th. My birthday is October 11th. Halle, we're not sisters. We're twins, Basil. And by the way, I know a lot of you guys think that I'm Annie Parker, the twin from The Vineyard. The Vineyard twin. However, that's just what you think. However, you look like the camper from The Camper and the Counselor.

I do, because she's kind of wacky looking. What do you mean? She looks like me. You know, but she has like wild red hair. Like my hair is really insane in this wig. No, you really look like her. I think you should tell people that too. And the uniforms are also green and white. And is Ben the counselor? I look like Sadie Sink's older brother in Stranger Things. Is that her brother? Yeah. Does that make Ben count as Mitch? That kid.

Yeah. Because Counselor Stitch has like a sexy physique. Yes. Always showing off her bosom. Right. Hmm. How scary is this tank top? Thanksgiving maps. Better than Amazon's finest. You love that shirt when you're dressing like a lady. I don't think that there could be...

I don't think that there could be a thicker version of this shirt, though, Jackie. The thin one that we wore for Ina Garten was nice and thin. Very Olivia. This one, this is a coat. This is a winter coat. That's not your Ina Garten shirt? No, that Ina Garten shirt is long gone. It's probably at your house. Wow, and I wonder, what did you wear for Donna Kelsey? I wore a knit sweater. Oh, he wore Jenny Kane cashmere. I bet you were so hot that day. At least you're not wearing cashmere.

I think it was cold that day. - Oh, you look fantastic as Donna. I just pulled it up. - It's such a shame. - A beautiful woman. - 80 degrees in New York on Halloween. What are you? - It's so true. - Disgusting. - Ben is also wearing like an excessive amount of House Labs blush and a Makeup By Mario lipstick. - It looks really nice. - It does. - Thank you. - You've got a lovely blush to you, a lovely sheen. - Thank you. - So out of all the ladies you've played over the years, who's your favorite?

Like, I am Ina Garten in my soul. How easy is that? But...

The Doubtfire Donna Kelsey was really fun. Oh, my sons. Sugar in my sons. I just want to say all the women that you're playing are the same, are the elk of the same woman. It's so true. Very like maternal spirit. Even Chessie, like she's always whipping shit up in that kitchen. Not like a kitchen is not an unfamiliar place to them. Home in Hearth, a big chili. Chessie loves a chili.

loves a chili and her golden retriever. We should have brought Romeo. Should have brought him. They had a dog. They did. They did. Romeo could have cosplayed as a golden retriever. If Margot still worked for us, she would obviously be Meredith Blake. Obviously. Somewhere out there, she is being Meredith Blake. She literally was born Meredith Blake. I'm just saying justice for Martin. Martin was a strong character. Martin's your man. Stand by your man, Chessie.

Martin's a strong character with those leather pants. Although it would make more sense for Ben in the context of the three of us to be my servant, not yours. Of course. And he has to be a woman. How boring. Oh, of course. Of course. But I was telling my friends, I went to dinner with my high school friends, what is Tostaween? And I was like, we're being Annie and Hallie and Ben is being Chessie. They're like, not Martin. I'm like, no, you don't understand. He has to play a woman. He has to.

I don't know what it says about myself. I love dressing as a woman. You know who else loves dressing as a woman? Who? Kate Bruce Jenner. Very good. And Bruce Soffer.

And we're in trouble. And we're in trouble. But... No, I feel like I can make jokes because I feel like Caitlyn Jenner actually appreciates those jokes. Like, she thinks they're funny. 1,000%. And because Ben is an ally who loves to dress like a woman. It's so true. And you do... And from the back, it's actually very funny to see Ben. Like, today when he put on the wig for the first time and then he walked, he turned around and walked away. Like, seeing from the back, this, like, six-foot broad, it is so funny. In person, you guys. And the wig is...

It's not 100%, you know? They don't have a Chessie wig. Like, it was, you had to really. This wig, I'm sorry, this wig is a Shonda. I think you've never looked better. This wig is a complete shame. No, it's perfect. But I'm just saying, she doesn't have these bangs, does she? She does. It's like very 90s Farrah Fawcett, but you look more like Morgan Wallen. And you didn't. That's who it is. You didn't shave for the occasion. Morgan Wallen.

No, it's funnier when he's a bearded lady. No, I'm Chessie Chest Hair. Chessie Chest Hair. Let me just pull it down a little. How's that? Oh my God. And by the way, this is the first show. Ben is going to be here for however long we want him to be. We set up a whole little studio for him. He's literally right next to me. We're pretending like we're not in the same room. We're literally right next to each other.

And I think Ben's going to stick around for the stories. Okay. Not a little sprinkle of Chessie on the stories. That's what they need. Yeah. And Ben, feel free to chime in or just scroll on your phone. What are the fast five? What are we talking about, ladies? Let's go one-one. Yeah. What are we chatting about, gal pals? Ooh, what are we chatting about, gal pals?

Oh, no. It's where Mrs. Doubtfire turns Jamaican at some point. You just sounded Irish and Jamaican. She is Irish. She is. She's Irish. I believe so. She's Irish. Yeah, no, that sounds all right. That feels right. What are we talking about, gal pals? Let's get into it. Honestly, Chessie was a little overbearing. I know, but Annie needed that sort of... Guidance. Boundaries in her life. Yeah, I mean, I just prefer my servants like a little more relaxed.

What are you going to do? It's also really crazy that like both girls had servants. Right. Like because Chessie was a little above and beyond. She wasn't just like a nanny. She was like a cooking and a cleaning. And Martin was dressed like a full blown. Martin was a straight up butler. Butler yeah. But I guess that's like in a single parent household like they had like they definitely needed additional child care. So true. So they arrived at the same conclusion. Yeah.

Correct. Just branded a bit differently. Yeah. You actually look like the twin, like with the headband, the whole thing. You look great. Thank you. This is the most comfortable toaster ween I've ever had. How nice. How nice. I honestly thought you looked great. No, this wig is like amazing to me. Should I go red? I think you maybe should. And I feel like today, because we're always talking about redhead representation, I feel like we're really doing the most for the redhead community. Yes. Which we need the most.

at dark times like this. It's so true. And by the way, yesterday when we were going through all of our Tostaween costumes over the years, we did forget Viserys and Daemon Targaryen. We did. So good. Does that make it our most forgettable? Because we literally forgot it. I guess so. I guess so.

But still, the thing about Toast to Ween is they're all really 10 out of 10. So like, fine, you want to find a 9.9 in there? Fine. It's so true. But it's crazy. I'm not wiping my lipstick. I was wiping the sweat off of my upper brow. OK, but I literally saw you wipe your lipstick and now you have lipstick. Because you wiped it on your pants. Honestly, there's nothing on my pants. Oh, crap. She's kind of a mess. Messy. I did. Shit. Chessie messy. Messy Chessie. Messy Chessie.

So Morgan Wallen, Annie, and Hallie are so excited to be here today. Happy Toast to you and happy Halloween. I can't believe it's finally Halloween, honestly. It's been Halloween for three weeks. Yeah, this has been one of the longest run-ups. People started so early. I don't like Halloween on a Thursday. I'm calling it. Did you tell the story, Claude, to the toasters of the hooligans below? No.

She did. Last Saturday night, she did. Of course I did. And honestly, let's not go there. Let's not go there. Oh my God. Let's round up the dreadful things we did this week, okay? That was the worst night of my life. Hang on. I saw a lot of comments about this yesterday, aside from my audio, which I believe is fixed. But the 45-minute conversation about the creator's list, which we did address at the end of the episode yesterday, if you made it there. Maybe some of you fell off before that. And we apologize. That went on too long. That went on too long.

And that's on us and our personal interests and really not being able to separate like our personal interests from the interests of the toasters. And usually the inner, like it's usually just a big circle, but there is a sliver outside of the circle, I guess we couldn't read the room because there's nobody in here. And for that, we apologize deeply. But have you cooled down? Like I have, I'm okay right now. This look, I can't breathe. Like you could literally make a soup with the amount of water under my breath. Do you want to take your blouse off?

I don't think the people are ready for that. Like, that is... Okay. That'll be the end of the show. Make yourself comfortable. Yeah, I guess we can't let it get off the rails. We haven't even started. We haven't even started. Martin, we haven't even started. And by the way, do you think Martin and Chessie were well-suited for one another? Like...

No. I don't think so either. I think he was like Mr. Right Now. You know, he's there. He's a warm body. There's really no one else around. They're going to be together for the rest of their lives. Let's make a go of it. It's convenient. There was honestly a 0% chance that Martin liked women. Like, it just like...

That's just like not a thing. Like I looked at them and I was like, this is mismatched. Like if anything. I think you're mistaking like British for gay. Like they're just different over there, you know? Maybe. That never occurred to me though. Now that you say it, it seems kind of obvious. However, Chessie was not like other women. Chessie is an all American woman. She was all American for sure. I'm so excited for our camping trip. I'm so excited for our camping trip.

Chessie, what kind of treats are you going to be packing for us? Oreos and peanut butter, of course. For you fat bitches. That sounds great, honestly. I know Meredith will really appreciate it. Chessie, what do you think about Meredith? I think Meredith is a stupid cunt. Oh.

Like, she's so fucking mean to my... What's his name? Dennis? No, that's literally his name. Nick. She's so fucking mean to my Nick. I feel like Jemay, private school girl. Yeah, by the way. Just talking shit. I'm Chris Lilley. And by the way...

There is a subplot within the film of obviously Chessie being in love with Nick Parker, correct? Oh, yeah. Yes, but I think she realized a long time ago it's just not going to happen for her when he likes like 26-year-old bitches. PR girls, yeah. That's really how it should have ended, though, with me and Nick Parker. No, but Elizabeth...

Elizabeth. What a queen she was. Oh my God, we've literally not even spoken about Elizabeth this whole time. Your mother. Yeah, she's kind of in the background, but... She's a simple woman like that. Yeah. Did they like intentionally name her Elizabeth so that we would like draw royal comparisons? So actually that's so interesting because I feel like when we were, like now when I think about Elizabeth James, like she is so, like reminds me of Princess Diana. I feel like I can't... Princess Diana. Keep the two apart. Yep.

Actually, there's a whole generation of young girls who grew up thinking that the mom from Parent Trap was Princess Diana. Me. William and Harry have said that the character reminds them so much of their mom and they used to watch it as a source of comfort. Yeah, I don't know if it was one or both of them, but like they've said it too. Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah. So it's not just us. No. Okay. No, it definitely is not just us. But yeah, there's definitely some intentional confusion. Intentional confusion. Yeah.

Well, we actually have a lot to get into today. So Annie, Hallie, and Chessie will, of course, be a part of this entire episode. But Jax Claude and Ben are going to be diving into the Fast Five because we still have a job to do. You know, a toaster wean is kind of the perfect balance of fun and work hard, play hard. Yeah, work hard, play hard, read ads, tell stories. Of course. Of course.

Oh my, Chessie thinks you're hilarious. Chessilish. That was funny. Chessilish. That was pretty good, gal pal. Pretty good. Gal pal. Okay, well now without further ado, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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boom, boom, boom. A lot of people thought we were going to be the Costco guys for Halloween and it definitely was like a top three idea. And if we had been, who,

do we think we each would have been? Ben obviously would have been the Rizzler. I think I should have been the Rizzler. I was going to say, I want to have been able to have been the Rizzler, but I would have needed to have been Big AJ. I'd have no choice. I'm just the tallest. And one of you shorter ladies would have needed to have been the Rizzler. I think you are AJ. Big AJ is the kid. Buddy is Big Justice, and I'm the Rizzler. Wait, AJ? No, it's not Big AJ. It's AJ and Big Justice. Big Justice is the kid, though.

Yeah, which do you want to be, Ben? AJ. I have to be AJ, but I want to be the Rizzler. I want to be AJ. I want to be AJ.

Have you ever heard him laugh? It's fucking crazy. I did when I met him. He was laughing up a storm. Oh, who was I talking to last night that like literally Jackie met the Costco guys and it's the craziest thing on the planet. I don't met the Rizzler though. I think Taylor Donahue. And the Rizzler is kind of just like off on the side. Sometimes there, sometimes not. They like go. Yeah. So that would be like perfect for me because you guys are in the room together and then like I'm the Rizz. Yeah, but the Rizzler. I'm the Rizz with the Rizz. The Rizzler Jackie's on a torpedo to fame. This kid, did you see him on Fallon? Yeah.

It's insane that they were on Fallon. Oh my God. He literally sat there just like in his big chair by himself. You had AJ and Big Justice together. It was the Rizzler show. He sat next to Fallon. He showed Fallon how to do the Rizz. I feel like, I can never remember which fucking twin I am. I'm Halle. I feel like Halle Parker showing a little vag. I'm just going to go fix my shorts off camera. You two talk amongst yourselves. Yeah, Chessie's showing breasts. I'm showing vag. Isolation cabin for you.

Okay. Not the naughty version of Parent Trap. So what's up, Riz? I'm back. Am I Riz? No. No, no, no. We're going to battle. You're AJ. I'm AJ. You're the chiseler. Chessie Rizler. I'm the chiseler. Okay, let's get into the stories. Because first up, we have some exciting news. And I actually feel like, Chessie, you might be able to weigh in because it's a blend of celebrity and sports news. Because Nina Dobrev and Sean White are engaged after nearly five years together. Yeah.

I am like really like this couple and I wasn't like waiting for them to get engaged. I don't know why they just give the vibe of like forever young. Like we don't need marriage. Like I like to snowboard for a living. Like I didn't think that they were on the traditional trajectory. He does snowboard for a living. This is added to the list that we can never remember of couples who separately I don't really participate in their work but together I ship wholeheartedly. That's exactly who they are. Like I never watched Vampire Diaries. Ben was obsessed with Sean White. Obsessed. Yeah.

You kind of look like Sean White with the wig. I was just going to say, I kind of look like Sean White. If you put on Claudia's wig. I kind of look like Sean White or a version of him. You look like Sean White's mom. When I tell you like a young me was so fucking obsessed with Sean White, like he is unbelievable. Those half pipes, those X game runs, those Olympic runs.

He's incredible. That said, I thought they were married already. They've been together. They've been together forever. It feels like for a very long time. Five years is like a long time to then get engaged because you think if someone's dating for five years, oh, they're not doing the marriage thing. The marriage material. But now they're going to get engaged and I guess married. I feel like some people get engaged just to get engaged. Don't you find?

Have you seen that video? By the way, Jackie, getting engaged in Hollywood isn't what it means. If you get engaged in the real world, you're most likely getting married. If you get engaged in Hollywood, it's just like new jewelry and maybe you'll get married. Yeah, I feel like someone got engaged recently and I'm like, I don't see these two planning a wedding, like hiring a wedding planner. Channing and Kravitz? No, no. Because she was married and he was married. They obviously do marriage. Yeah. Someone else. I'm like, they're not like, you know.

going to the chapel, going to get married. Have you seen the Sean White biopic on Netflix, Jackie? I have not. We weirdly have. We watched it. It's fantastic. That family, like they would literally sleep in their car so he could compete and win. He's so impressive. Like the true American dream. Love him. Ben is obsessed. Like Ben, if you could have like done anything in this life, like that's what it would have been.

right? If I could have been like an Olympic snowboarder. Or like skateboarder, like that culture, you know? Yes, sick. BMX. I loved it. I thought that's what like high school kids like wore. Like I showed up to the first day of high school like wearing skateboarding sneakers and skateboarding shorts and that's why nobody talked to me. And no, by the way, Ben had hair much like the wig that he is currently wearing. He had so much hair. He was like an obese ninth grader with his skateboarding outfit like this.

What does skateboarding sneakers and shorts look like? Is that not dance? Jackie, you'll know. Ben, what's the brand? Google it. CDC. No, DC is the brand. You will know. CDC. Jackie, it will literally. The CDC. The CDC. Jackie, this sneaker will light bulb in your brain such a classic look. Okay, DC shoes. Yeah, DC skateboarding shoes. Yeah, because they're giving me on clouds.

Instead, you know, they've taken over the search, clearly. Oh, my God, they have. Oh, oh, I know. Right? Oh, no. Oh, no, Chessie. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Yes.

I would say that they were dark times, but I remember them fondly. They were fantastic. I wouldn't say that they were dark times. I feel like you were so unburdened by like any sort of self-awareness or self-doubt. And I mean this in a positive way. Like I think a lot of people at that age like are so crippled with what other people think of them. And then there are people who just like do not give a fuck. Like and Ben was raised to just like have self-assurance. And he just walked into that first day. Like that was his interest. Like didn't he look like the typical skateboarder?

No. I had just watched Brink. Yeah. Like, I thought that, I thought this was my time. I thought me and my friends were going to compete. Little did I know, I went to a Jewish private school and nobody wanted to look like that. Got it. That is too funny. Yeah, you were barking up the wrong tree. Similar to how Jackie and I, like, really wanted to be cheerleaders who, like, you know, went to football games. Meanwhile, we went to Yeshiva that didn't have a cheerleading squad or a football team. Or a football team.

or any outdoor sports. Right, right. Nothing. You're correct. Feel free to cheer in the basement. Yeah. Feel free to cheer on your own time. Cheer your heart out. Wigs are so itchy. Like, it's insane. Yeah. Next year, can we do Glee? I want to be Sue Sylvester. Ooh, I'll be Roz Washington. And I'll be Mr. Shoe. We'll represent the faculty. You have to be Mr. Shoe.

I know do you think part of the reason I hate Mr. Shu like more than the average person is because I see a little bit of myself in him. It's projection. Yeah. No I don't. Okay. I think he's super hateable. Oh okay okay thanks. Yeah yeah. He's the worst. Are you ready for our next story? So Mazel Tov to the happy couple like. I'm actually really happy for them and they will have a star-studded wedding. They're not gonna have a registry you know what I mean? No no but they will have a star-studded wedding and they're definitely getting married on like top of the mountain. So you think they're getting married?

Oh, I'm sorry. If they get married. Yeah. I hope they get married. Like, you know, Kelly and Miles, Aaron Rodgers. They like running that crew. Yeah. So 50-50 in terms of marriage. Go and do the check. We watched the episode of Glee last night where Finn's mom and Kurt's dad got married. So cute.

It's like such a great show and such a terrible show all at once. It's so true. I'm sure you talk about it all the time. And me and Ben, we've pretty much come to the conclusion that the worst member of Glee Club is Kurt. And I'm pretty sure that's like a universal truth. No, that is not who the worst member is. No, I know who Ben's going to say. The worst member is Artie by far. Okay. Let me explain. Homophobic and ableist. No, let me explain. Let me explain. This is my problem. No, no, no. Artie, if they just cast.

a real handicapped person, I'd be rooting for him. That said, whoever that actor was, he can walk. So all I think of every time I see him is...

okay, eyesore, you can walk, get out of that wheelchair. But if he really... Jackie, it's funny that you said homophobic and ableist because the point of Glee is like no matter who we would have chosen, you would have said like, you're anti-Latino. No, it's true. You're anti-Semitic. I'm like, no, I'm not. Right. Every single person except for I guess like Rachel and Finn. All I know is it was a

that they didn't cast a truly handicapped person. Rachel's a Jew, yeah. I guess Finn is the only one who's like nothing. He's heteronormative. Wasp. Cognonormative. What's the word? Neurotypical. Neurotypical. Bad brother. Bad brother. He's a bad brother, yeah. Bad friend. Finn? Bad friend, yeah.

To who? Yeah. He didn't defend Kurt up against, what's his name? Karofsky. Karofsky. We're up to the part where Kurt is getting like relentlessly bullied by this piece of shit. Like, who's such a good actor, I want to reach to the screen and actually kill him with my own two hands. Like, he's so fucking evil. Awful. Awful. And what does Artie do? Just sit there. Well, he can't do much else.

He can! He can walk! Well, I think after Glee aired, like, it ushered in an era, not because of Glee, but just, like, times changed where it was, like, if someone is something, you shouldn't have, like, a straight person play a gay part or all of these things. And I think that Glee has been marred in scandal a little bit because Artie, in real life, could walk. And I think if it happened now, like, they would have chose someone truly handicapped. Yeah. And that would have been amazing for them. They literally have no roles. Yeah. What?

What did you say? No, you're right. Like, they have no roles. Like, it's like the nicest. It's like a gift to be able to write in a handicapped person and cast a handicapped person because they have no roles and they choose this incredibly ugly capable person. Ben! I'm sorry. That's a good person.

Holy shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said what I said. But he's like so normal looking like, what are you talking about? I said what I said. I said what I said. Hurts my heart. Hurts my heart. Jesse wants to trash talk today. First and last toaster wean where Ben stays the whole time. Why too unhinged? I'm bringing a little bit too much of the good guys. Oh, is that what that is?

Oh yeah, we go crazy over there. If you guys want to listen, Chessie's going there next. What are you doing on Good Guys next? It's a great question. Yesterday, we actually had Yvette Brown on, who was Helen in Drake and Josh from the movie theater.

Yes. It was really fun. That was really fun. So tune in when that comes on. She's big things over at Good Guys. That is big things. She was also in Community. Did you ever watch Community? No, we started it once like 10 years ago and like immediately didn't like it. I don't think Ben, I don't think Claudia, you would have the patience for it. But like Ben, you would fucking love it.

Okay, yeah, I know you love Community. I watched it when I was on and I loved it and then Zach did a rewatch recently so I would like let him finish out his episode in the bedroom and so, so good. Wow. Claude, maybe we need to try it. Maybe. No, it might just be like a Ben Solo mission. That doesn't happen. Like I have nowhere to watch. Right. Where do I watch? Oh, what about In the Frame?

No, that frame is literally meant for art. In the living room and in the second bedroom, but he has nowhere to watch. I can't. Master. Of course, but I'm always in the bathroom. You don't watch any shows that Ben doesn't watch, Claudia? Of course I do, but I watch way more TV than Ben. Got it. So you don't watch anything that your wife... I watch only what she watches and then she watches more. Got it. Yeah, it's a nice life. No, it's fine. I'm exposed to shows I would never have watched. I love Only Murders in the Building. We just finished it. Fantastic. Fantastic.

Okay, Chessers. Do you watch it? By the way, did we get through one story or two? We got through one story. Okay, let's keep it moving. Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Like Ben thinks that this is the Ben show. Yeah, my bad. Oh, whoa, whoa. And I'm doing the good guy. Whoa. Please, we don't care. Whoa. We literally don't care. Whoa. Okay, next story.

Kiki Palmer is revealing she was shocked to see her ex's comment about her Usher concert attire. So Kiki Palmer did an interview with People Magazine in this week's cover story, and she opened up about what really happened when she attended Usher's hit concert last year and how she handled the fallout with her ex. So for those who don't remember, like, Kiki Palmer was in a relationship, had a baby, all seemed well until her boyfriend went on Twitter and was like, what are you wearing to the Usher concert? Like, you're a mom. Yeah.

Yeah, it was like kind of the loseriest thing on the planet. And it was just like the first card to fall because eventually the whole thing came tumbling down and we found out what was really going on between them and he was like incredibly abusive. And honestly, I feel like we as a society moved on from that too quickly because it was seriously one of the craziest things on the planet. Yeah, his tweet said, it's the outfit though, dot, dot, dot, you a mom. To her, which was wearing like a Givenchy dress at a Nusher concert looking pargy as hell. She looked sick. Looking pargy as hell. So she says for her part, quote, I was speechless. Yeah.

I was at a photo shoot and everybody was looking all weird. I was like, are y'all good? And then I randomly was on my phone and I saw. It was so crazy. I didn't want to engage with something that wasn't reality and fan the fire. In her opinion, I was just at a concert doing what I do as an entertainer, creating a fun moment. How it became a storyline that me and Usher are in love, I don't know. I wish, honestly. They were, in fact, not in love and never have been. However...

She says as we all know things are never really what they seem as to for what contributed to the end of her unhealthy relationship with Jackson she blames the stress of new parenting and she says I imagine fame she says that fame it's always been a monkey on my back all my life I'm used to it but I've always known and not just with my romantic relationships but with my family my friends fame has always become a burden.

I mean, that's incredibly magnanimous of her because, like, no, what ruined the relationship is him being a big fat loser, not, like, fame or, like, stress. Anything to do with her. But this is, you know, the father of her child, and I guess that's, like, a role she takes really seriously, and she's not going to, like, disgrace him publicly, even though, like, I would fully support. Yeah, there's only so much she's going to say, but there's also a lot that we know just because of what's out there. So she's, like, addressing the obvious things while also...

Being respectful Protecting her family Yeah They're respectful To her child mostly Yeah And that's huge of her It is And seriously Can never be me Takes a lot of Self-restraint It does It does And she's doing A lot of press Because she has A book coming out And I imagine It's hard to avoid Questions like this Because it was This big thing last year And honestly It's so crazy Yeah Yeah it really is What do you think Chessie? Fucked up Chessie said it Fucked up You tell them Fucked up Straight from Chessie's mouth You heard it

No, like why is he being mean to her? No, not good. Not good. You're just like going out of the town trying to look good. And then all of a sudden your man's coming and stomping on your good night. They're talking publicly. I'm X nonetheless. Yeah, like fuck that. Yeah, Chessie doesn't like that. Fuck that shit. Chessie doesn't roll that way. Chessie. Fuck that shit. Chessie, what kind of woman are you in a relationship? Are you like very independent? I'm going to fuck him up in the relationship. That's what I'm going to do.

Oh, Chessie's from the wrong side of the tracks. Yeah, I'll beat him up. Okay. Thanks, Chess. Like, Chessie, what's your love language? My love language is a fist bump. Oh, okay. Okay, very Sue Silvestro. So Chessie coded. Yeah, me and Martin, we bump fists. We bump uglies. And uglies, yeah.

Well, our next story, some relationship news, because Ethan Slater, the man formerly known as SpongeBob, who's Ari, this is, I'm like. What do you mean former? It was a former role. Chessie, so you know Ariana Grande has a new man. She met him on the set of Wicked. He probably looks like one of the kids in your high school who was also wearing DC sneakers. That.

He's shocked to know that he's dating Ari. Meanwhile, they were both like in marriages. He had just had a baby when they met. And like the timeline is really weird, but Ari maintains nothing nefarious happened, even though that's like virtually impossible. But okay. She's seriously like, if you guys only knew. So I'm trying to hold space for that. She will seriously take this to her grave. Like she is not letting up on the timeline being acceptable. Without telling us anything.

anything. So anyways, now Ari's dating this guy, Ethan Slater, and Wicked is coming out. He was like a relatively unknown actor. He had played SpongeBob on Broadway, like really small potatoes. Oh, wait, he wasn't even, I thought he was the voice of SpongeBob. He played SpongeBob on Broadway? Yeah. The voice of SpongeBob, I'm surprised you don't know, he's like a 75-year-old gay man. He's like kind of an icon. And he's probably rolling in it, and that would be a catch. Yeah.

Yeah. But no. So she's dating this guy who's in Wicked. So now they're all doing this Wicked press and he's doing press of his own. And he's being asked a lot of questions and he's reacting to speculation that her song Imperfect For You is about him. So she put out an album last year called Eternal Sunshine. Just want to say it's ES, which is also Ethan Slater. And a lot of the songs are about her crumbling relationship, just like about her. And she has this song Imperfect For You that people think is about him.

So he did an interview with GQ. And when asked about the song's lyrics, he didn't exactly reveal if it's about him. He said, quote, she's such an amazing performer. And I think everyone knows how good she is as a recording artist and all that. But I'm just really blown away by the songwriting. I love that song, he says.

Yeah it's like Not really a Noteworthy interview In any way Other than the fact That he's really Acknowledging Ariana Like as a human being And his girlfriend publicly And saying nice things About her as a songwriter And a person Literally every question Is asked How's the movie Ariana's amazing in it You guys are not Gonna believe everything I mean Jackie If you It's like seriously It's the equivalent Of us dating Like Glenn Powell Okay like I would not Stop talking about it too Yeah

But I think he's like, I think this is his media strategy. Like I'm not denying anything. I'm just going to like constantly shower her with compliment. And what can anyone say to that?

Even if it wasn't a mismatch, I'm just not sure that the boyfriend or the man would ever not just shower the wife or girlfriend with praise if asked in press. If Claudia was doing a movie and somebody asked me what I thought, I would say she's amazing. You're similar to Ethan in the sense that you're with someone who's totally out of your league. So what...

What do you make of all of this? No, but like if you were also in the movie, like yes, that would be one answer to one question, but like you would have other things to say about yourself. But Jackie, he's such an inconsequential character. You're right. It's very PR. It's PR driven. But I think it's like a good strategy. It's almost like word salad about Ari's amazingness. Like we fucking get it. Thank you.

It's where salad about Ari's And then you get fatigued By the answer So like you don't want To hear about it anymore It's a fantastic strategy When does Wicked come out? It's like out Oh it is? I don't know November 11th? No Thanksgiving November 22nd Okay people are talking About it like it's out

Yeah, a lot of people have seen it. They keep like hosting screenings and stuff, but it's out Thanksgiving. Yeah. This is like a really long lead time on the PR. I'm pretty down to see it though. I heard it's amazing. I just saw a headline. I am so down to see it. Oh, bitch, I'm first in line. Like I'm so down to see it. Me too. My husband's going to be excited. Oh yeah, your husband loves going to the movies. And he's going to be excited that I'll want to go with him to see something.

He loves the movies. He does love the movies. And you are a good friend that you typically accompany him to the movies when you're together. I do go with him to the movies when he wants to go to the movies. And the movies for me are just like... So that's really nice of you. And you know what? Can I say something about your husband? Like, he's so right for that. Like, what's not to like about the movies? The...

Snacks are amazing. It's literally an activity where you leave the house, but you get to do the thing that you do in your house. Sit down and watch TV. It's a good hobby. The last time I went to the movies with Zach, I ran into Cuba Gooding Jr. getting snacks. Did you really? Yes. In the Hamptons. In the Hamptons. I ran into Cuba. Oh, in the Hamptons. Yeah, I forgot you guys went in the Hamptons. Jackie, did you see that the first celebrity named in a P. Diddy doc? Because they're saying that the first one named was Cuba. By the way, that makes a lot of sense. So of course, it was just for 30, but I'm not sure.

It's not a reveal. I want to know like the people, we already know some of these people are dogs. Like who are the people who were constantly showering with praise? Yep. Who are dirty dogs? So it was like a promising concept that like the first name was revealed, but it's like, you can't mar someone who's already been marred. Like next up, who Kevin Spacey, like shocker. Right. I'm sorry. What the hell was Cuba Gooding Jr. doing in Pearl Harbor?

Oh, yeah. We talked about that when we watched... What was he doing? You can't do snow dogs in Pearl Harbor. You can't. Listen, that's why he was as famous as he was at the time. So versatile. He had range. Honestly, love him. Get you a guy who could do both. Are you okay? Not very ally of you. He's an absolute asshole. But snow dogs, he was great. He was great. I've actually never seen snow dogs. It's kind of like separating the artist from the art. Like Van Gogh.

Why? What about Van Gogh is not palatable for you? His ear? Wasn't he like a psycho? He did cut off his ear. Yeah, but he only hurt himself. I'm just saying he cut off his own ear. That's pretty nuts. I feel like that's something you would do. Maybe. For Claudia? Maybe. Would I cut off my ear for her? Yeah, good question. If I said to you, listen, I can't tell you how or why, but the universe will rip me from you. Like, I will never see you again if you don't cut off your ear right now.

And it was like fully factual. Like I wasn't having like a psychotic break. Fuck. All right. I guess I'll cut off like my ear. And like you have to be the one to physically do it. Yeah. But like he didn't cut off like his ability to hear. He just like cut off like the top of his ear. A chunk of the lobe. Yeah. All right. Look, I'll ditch the top of my ear. Okay. A chunk? It was just a chunk. Are you ready for our next story? Number four. What?

Am I? I don't think so. I'm ready. I don't think so either. Doesn't look ready. So unlike me to be so unprepared. Okay, is it the fourth story on Toast to Ween that's brought to you by Amazon Live perchance? Perchance it is. So for those of you who live under a rock, Amazon Live is a shoppable experience on Amazon where you can learn about the hottest products from influencers and creators like meself and shop while you're watching. So you'll find beauty must-haves, get ready with me demos, live try-ons from all the latest trends and the Garchi Parchi Swirlies, of course. So if you're looking for

So you can tune in and ask questions in the live chat and you'll be able to have a lot of fun and get your questions asked by whoever is streaming. So if you like tea, there's plenty of it. They've got reality stars like Kyle Richards, Lala Kent, Paige DeSorbo. Paige actually has a new show. It's called In Bed with Paige DeSorbo where she invites top tier guests to join her favorite place, her bed. Um,

Ben and I have done a ton of Amazon lives, different categories. The most recent one we did, we actually filmed in our apartment and it was very Ben cooked like a three course meal for us. We made mac and cheese and chicken sandwiches and it was super fun. And all of our home cooking stuff is like from Amazon anyway. So if you're into cooking, you could watch and have fun and ask questions and then also shop all the items that we were using. It's very Rachel Ray of us, you know, in a non-problematic sort of way.

So, again, if you're just looking for like fun gossip, I feel like a lot of stuff goes down on Amazon Live. You can find it from all your favorite swirlies. And you can stream and shop my channel on Amazon Live by going to Amazon.com slash live slash girl with no job. Or you can watch enjoy the best of Amazon Live on their new live TV channel on freebie or prime video under the DIY section. And you'll be able to shop along on your phone. So, yeah.

Make sure to tune in live and follow all your favorite swirlies so that you never miss a stream because then you can like ask questions live about like, you know, beauty or whatever, but also just like gossip. It's really fun. Today's episode is also brought to you by Taylor Farms Chopped Salad Kits. They deliver the freshest, best tasting salads to eat at home or on the go. So Taylor Farms is one of our favorite sponsors here. They're a family owned company and they're on a mission to create healthy lives through fresh, delicious food. Their chopped salad kits defy boring in every bag with over 30 flavors and even mini salads.

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Avara, everyone's going to be asking where you got your outfit. Thank you, Aklada. You're welcome. Our next story, a little memoir news. Someone is writing a memoir. Who? Tina Noles. The Rizzler? No, not the Rizzler. Tina Noles. I wish. Oh, oh my God. I had a dream about Tina Noles over the weekend. Okay, Gabourey Sidibe locked me and Beyonce up in this tree. Like we were stuck up there, me, Tina, and Beyonce, actually. And Tina. And Tina.

Yeah and the power went out on this like fake island that we were on and so everybody down below like couldn't help us because the cranes and everything like couldn't operate so me and Beyonce are stuck in this like tiny branch we can barely hold our own weights like it was really traumatic and then we finally get down and we go to like a pool party and everybody's like hating Gabourey Sidibe including us like she fucking locked us up in that tree it was really crazy. I'm so sorry that happened to you well I guess Tina Knowles is now writing a book about it.

Good, good, because it was traumatic. She's sharing her memoirs, and the title is... Uh-huh. Matriarch. Okay, you know what? That's pretty strong. It should be Memoirs of a Mama. Uh-huh.

It should be. But Matriarch is a strong one and that really is exactly what she is. So the businesswoman, designer, and mother of Beyonce and Solange recently announced her new book. It will be available April 22nd. She shared some details on Instagram saying, I've always been a storyteller and it's something I learned from my mother. When I had a family of my own, I believed that my daughters needed to know where they came from in order to know where they were going. I'm now ready

ready to share my story with all of you so that we can celebrate these themes of strength, motherhood, black pride, and identity. She's a good one to write a book. I feel like she's seen a lot, but I do think that she's probably limited in what she can share because Beyonce is so private. Yeah. I would say like if this book couldn't, you know,

be real and not just like surface lyrics yeah i think it would be very good but you know the surface lyrics do get you wouldn't you say chessie they do and chessie who do you think is an artist right now out there who's like kind of notorious for their surface lyrics blake shelton blake shelton are you saying that as morgan wallen or as chessie he came out swinging

No, that's his name. Isn't that his name? Yeah. Blake Shelton? Yeah. Every single song he sings. That's like the classic surface lyric country. Like about the boots and the barn and the girl and the beer and the... I feel like you're thinking of Luke Bryan. No, no, no. He's not. I am. I am. I am. I am. Who did I say? You said Blake Shelton. Jackie, no, he's not wrong technically, but I know that Ben doesn't feel like Blake Shelton. Blake Shelton is married to Gwen Stefani? Yeah. Love him. I'm thinking Luke Bryan. I think both.

I think you kind of hit the nail on the head with Blake Shelton. No, I watched Luke at Stagecoach come out with his backwards hat and the beers and the broads and the beers and the broads. And I was like, this is fucking surface lyrics. Okay? This is surface lyrics. And the opposite of surface lyrics is like a Kacey Musgraves. She goes deep as shit.

and makes me feel something. And as Chessie, what sort of genre do you think Chessie is most drawn to? Honestly, Kacey Musgraves. I think Chessie is... I think she listens to Alan Jackson, honestly. I think she likes Billy Joel. I think she sits on her vineyard listening to Uptown Girl. It's kind of not a bad call. I feel that. I could also see her being a deadhead.

Oh, do you think Chessie does drugs? Oh, she definitely smokes weed for sure. For sure. And also another correction when we were saying like the OG Stan group, we said the Believers and then someone said justice for the Deadheads and they were right for that. Yeah, that's so true. I think the Deadheads are the OG Stans. With like a name. With a name. I'm just not, I'm just not a dead fan.

Yeah. Never was. Are you saying that as Chessie or as BSC? I'm saying this as a BSC. Yeah. It's just so funny how someone could be like a regular person and then like you find out they're a deadhead and it just means they have this like double life where they like, where they do drugs, where they travel the world for concerts and like upend, you know,

their personal life like for the Grateful Dead yeah it must be jarring to like have a co-worker who's like seemingly like boring and normal and then they mentioned that they went to a dead concert you're like oh you camp you do drugs like you're like you wear tie I know someone in my close like circle is a deadhead and you would never expect it it's not about the drugs it's I think you could be a deadhead without doing drugs that's not what's shocking what's shocking is then like his partner who's never listened to Grateful Dead like has to go on these journeys with him and travel to the ends of the country to see the Grateful Dead

You want to know who it is? You don't see one dead concert. That's the thing. You see a hundred. Who is it? Josh Webman. I knew it. I was going to say that. I knew it. And Dana goes to like campsites. Okay, but let me say this. But Dana is prepared for that because she is a Schumer head. Okay? Dana is a Schumer head and she does go to the comedy cellar once a week to try and see Amy Schumer. That's true. She's a Schumer head. But it only takes her to the comedy cellar. Like that's not very far. Like she's been to like Wyoming to see Da Dead.

Da dead. Da dead. Yeah. I could, by the way, I could easily peg Josh as a deadhead in the best way. Yeah. Josh is the best. Yeah. And he's very straight laced. Like he's not a party kid. So I guess he must really like the music. Yeah. No, it's about the music.

Yeah, it's always about the music. Yeah, I think people are like that with that band Fish. Aren't they the same thing? Like, okay. They are. If you're a Deadhead, you're also a Fish head. And Pearl Jam head. I think that Fish heads... No, Pearl Jam is pretty awesome. I think that Fish... No, it's actually not. Roger Waters. It's not awesome. Yeah, true. True to that. Even though we separate the artists from the art. No, we don't. Pearl Jam is the worst band on the planet. We don't. We don't do that. We don't do that. But Fish...

I feel like Phish is more drugs than dead. You guys are focused on the drugs, the two of you. Yeah, we're young. They're definitely a major player in these concerts. We're young like that. Yeah, we're... I wonder the Venn diagram of toasters and deadheads. What does it look like? It's small. I think it's small but mighty. Because I think toasters are mighty and deadheads are mighty. However many there are in crossover, I think they're strong but mighty.

They're weird for sure. They're mighty weird. Chessie, you don't mean that. I do. There's like 20 of them and they're mighty weird. Chessie's an asshole. Yeah. Chessie's a bully. And that's how she got to where she is in this life. I'm just saying you would be a bully too if you were this fucking hot. I literally have like a hair that's interacting with my contact. I have these headphones over my hair. Why don't you just leave your contact on the stairs?

Over my hair, Jackie. I can't hear. Do you see this? It's over my hair. My ears are clogged with this wig. Okay, well then let's get into the fifth and final story so that Chessie can finally unburden herself.

Ben's not wrong. The wig hairs are being pushed into my ear canals with the headphones. You're right. And they're like synthetic and really prickly. I was feeling that too. Literally Jackie's here wearing her own hair and AirPods. What a privilege. She's very laissez faire about her moves. We're here with these freaking cans. These cans. It's so worth it, Chessie. You look fantastic. You do. Thank you, darling. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? So then you can imbermine yourselves.

Yes. Alona Mar is getting personal with People Magazine. Alona Mar, the rugby player from the Olympics. She's on the end of the stars now. Yes, I do. I just didn't. I thought it was Alona Mayer. Okay, well, it's Alona Mar. You're not wrong for that.

Alona Marr? It's Alona Mayer. It's I-L-O-N-A. You made her a Jew. Who's Alona Marr? I'm alone at the bar. With Alona Marr. I'm alone at the bar with Alona Marr. She did a huge spread with People Magazine, some Gargi Pargi pictures, like dressing up like Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe. And she's complaining that her DMs are filled with mothers who are very proud of her and find her very inspirational for their daughters and not enough NFL players or billionaires. Actually, zero. Zero.

No, that's so fair because her thing is that because she's a rugby player, she's like built different. She doesn't look like a, you know, a stereotypical like feminine woman. She's very built. She's more jacked. She's stronger than a lot of the guys that she dates. And a lot of people find that intimidating. And on Dancing with the Stars, she's like always doing things that are like, you know, groundbreaking. Like she lifted her partner as opposed to her partner lifting her. And...

It's true. Like, honestly, the NFL players who date, like, 90-pound girls, it's not fair. Like, they should be, like, it's only right that they date Alona Mar, you know? Yeah, and I'm shocked that, like, there's not a handful of guys reaching out to her.

But there's not, she says. And she loves the moms. Like, no shade. And she's so happy to be, like, a great role model for their daughters. But, like, she's looking for the NFL players. And a billionaire. All I have to say is she is fucking awesome. She's awesome. She really is. I love her. Like, such a badass. Not to bring it up, but, like, every time we talk about her, it's worth mentioning, like, I knew about her so many years ago. But now that she's big, like, you don't talk about her anymore. People thought, like, you're boycotting her. I'm not boycotting her. We actually don't talk about her. She's always in the news. We don't always talk about her.

Well I'm certainly not Boycotting Ilona Mar Are people okay I just feel like Everyone's talking about her now Like I don't need to But I felt really passionately You did your part It's like you set her free Yeah I got her to where she is You launched her into the world Exactly I can sit back and watch No she's super cool I'm trying to think of like Who could date her Well we could put her on our list

Jason Momoa. Honestly, she's going after the wrong guys. NFL players aren't it. It's NBA players because they are so tall. Yeah. Like, she needs, like, a nice seven-foot guy that will feel like he's a six-foot woman is really five feet. Yeah. Like, the six-foot-one NFL player is not where she should be looking. But no, she's right about NFL because her thing is not so much her height. It's really that she's very strong and, like, broad. Yeah.

Yeah. No, but you're right, Ben. I think she needs to expand the search to include NBA because you could have an NFL player just like on Love is Blind, like Hannah was talking to Nick and she thought he was going to be so big, but he's a kicker. What about like a Chris Humphries? I know he's like old news, but like his build, 6'9". He's huge, yeah. 6'9". Yeah, I will always ship Chris Humphries with whomever. She's got to go for the power forward center in the NBA, 6'9 and above. They're going to love her. Okay. Yeah.

I don't disagree. Thank you for that. They're going to love her. She'll no longer be alone. Amar alone at the bar. Hopefully this reaches her. Yeah, I hope so. Cause I, we, we like to give like actual tangible advice here. Actionable advice.

Now then. Alona Mar no longer be alone at the bar. Oh, excuse me. Chessie. We need to make Alona Mar the Dr. Seuss book. Alona Mar alone at the bar looking for a man. Near and far. Near and far. A man who's a star. Alona Mar went to the bar and couldn't find the man, but he doesn't seem far. Okay, we lost it at the end, but it's fine. Alona Mar alone at the bar. Honestly, pretty good. I'd read it.

Went to find a man, again, who wasn't far. Does he have a nice car? Oh! She likes that, that Alomar. Wait. This drink tastes like tall. What's that from? Parent Trap. Parent Trap. Let me breathe out. Full circle. By the way, this wig smells like ass. Yeah, I do too.

I do think like... What do the people do to these wigs before they put them in the Amazon box and send them? Like wipe their ass with these wigs? Like he, hey, we have a really nice wig. Let me just wipe my ass with it before I send it to the customer. I honestly think that that might be what's happening for real. Like why wouldn't it be what's happening? Or like what is this hair made of? Is it like... Your mom's chest hair.

Yeah. Chessie's chest hair. Your mama's chest hair. Ben, and by Ben, of course, I mean Chessie. We can't thank you enough for devoting your morning to Toast to Ween. You've become a real cornerstone of it. And I just been wondering if Chessie has any last words that she'd like to impart any wisdom to the listeners of today. No, look, this has been great. Listen to good guys and go to sportssociety.com. Chessie's kind of a capitalist. She's just hawking product.

Hawking Products, right? I'm just saying the parallels. She sits on a vineyard. We sell wine products. And you get your wines...

From Dennis Quaid. Parker's Vineyard? Yes, from Nikki P. Nikki P's Vino. That's your distributor? Nikki P's Vino. Yeah, Nikki P's Vino. Nikki P.com. Well, I'm alone at the bar with a loan of bars. Do you think we could do a Spritz Code Chessie to get you something today? Absolutely. Let's do Spritz Code Chessie, C-H-E-S-S-I-E, for 20% off at SpritzSociety.com. I love that. Bringing it full circle.

You guys, another toaster ween in the bag. I will say, like, you know when you know you did something good, like this. This was good. This was good. And now, just like for a big reveal, I'll take off this, like. Yeah, yeah. Show us your final sweat stains. Oh, by the way, the under boob sweat stain cleared up. You're good. How do I look? You look naked. Not okay. No, I feel naked and afraid.

Also, the headphones are making the wig look even more like a mullet. Mullet. It's like pressing down and then fanning out. How do people wear tight tank tops? Like, what is the goal? Like, it's terrible. Yeah. It's terrible. It's not your best look. I'll say that. No, like...

You guys. I think we should sign off. You look good, Chess. You look good. How easy is that? You guys, thank you so much for listening to The Toast. Happy Toast-a-ween. The millennial morning show where we deliver the fast-paced stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcasts anywhere podcasts can be found. So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeart, CastBox, all the places you can visit. Podcasts, videos, Toasties, Five Star Review, Meta, Beautiful Standing, and wickedly talented we are. Happy Toast-a-ween to all who celebrate. Hope you guys have a very spo-o-o-o-o

Good day. Love you. Bye.