A Little Bit of Chickenfry: Wednesday, October 23rd 2024
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Good morning, millennials. And welcome back to the shows. Happy Wednesday. Hope everybody's having a gargi-pargi hump day. And speaking of gargi-parginess, the act of humping, I introduce to you without further ado-do-do-do-do, it's Ms. Jacqueline Follet. It's me, yeah. Hi. Hey. Hi.

Yes, GPH, Gargi Parji hump day. What about it? What do you know about it? I know a lot. I hadn't taken stock of the fact that it's hump day. This week is not like a real week because you're here. So like the days are a suggestion. It's more like a dream, you would say. The days are a suggestion, you know, and then you leave. I don't even want to talk about it. I know. You're not leaving on a Friday. So the day you leave will feel like a Friday, but then it's not a Friday. Ben's like, we have to get home. I have tickets to the Knicks home opener. Like,

Ben and his hobby. Like, I have gotten so invested in sports. And Ben happens to be obsessed with the worst sport. I have tried. And let me tell you, I'm so into baseball now. Like, I'm seeing the benefits of all different sports. Baseball, like, you can't even argue with me, is the worst. Like, professional baseball is the worst. Excuse me, basketball is the worst sport. Like, Ben was watching it last night. Maybe it's because Ben is, like, a lifelong fan of the worst fucking team on the planet. They lost by, like, 40 points last night. But I don't know. Basketball really doesn't do it for me. I wonder why.

I wonder why it's not any worse than anything else. It's pretty fast paced. Oh, and by the way, I meant to update you on this. There will be no subway series. The Yankees made it to the world series, but Shohei is going with the Dodgers. I saw that there won't be a subway series. I never really thought that there was going to be like, I would have loved that. But the Mets, they don't have what it takes.

Wow. You just, by the way. No, no, no. Like that's just a fact. Like I wish that they did and I would have loved that for them and I would have been over the moon if they did. But like the Yankees and the Dodgers, like they're always in because they're always in. It's like actually not fair. It's like the Chiefs and the Patriots at one point. It's always the Yankees and the Dodgers. They're just the best. It's so true. Well, I'm happy for Shohei. That's a small bright spot. Yeah. I'm happy for baseball. Mm-hmm.

I see you took a big dump on the beautification committee this morning. Why? Putting your big white. No, but I can't see when it's like I want to see more turt. And by the way, like as far as tumblers go or drinks, this is pretty parge. It is. This could be a centerpiece on its own. Speaking of drinks, I'm kind of drinking a. That is a big dump.

You mean it's going to make me have a big duty? No, like the drink itself is a big duty. Yeah, I'm drinking like a Starbucks coffee. Ben went out. He goes to Starbucks every single morning. At home, he's like walking around me. He's like, you want anything from Starbucks? I never, ever say yes. Like, Starbucks is just not a facility that does anything for me. But I was like...

Okay. You know, I actually really wanted a grilled cheese and I was like, well, I need a beverage to wash it down with. So I got this. It's like an ice shaken. Like I literally don't even know. Let me see the label. Drink it. It's literally like not good. No, no, no, no. I can't. Tell me what it is. Grande shaken espresso double. Like, am I okay? Is that a drink? Do you like it? No.

No, it's really like really disgusting. But I don't know if there's one drink at Starbucks that I would like except for a classic vanilla bean. Need to have a vanilla bean. You need to make your own vanilla bean at home. You need to make me my own vanilla bean. So that it's not like packed with sugar and I can use like Stevia instead. Do you remember when we were in middle school? Like we didn't drink coffee. We just went to Starbucks and got vanilla beans. And like in high school later on in our lives, we found out they're literally like 1500 calories. When we were in middle school, you got vanilla beans.

Some of us were over here getting like passion fruit iced tea. Oh, by the way, don't clown on a PTL. Passion tea lemonade from Starbucks is divine. Yeah, no, it's nice, but it's not a vanilla bean.

No, but like... It's a healthier option. Some of these bitches in my crew, like they were getting like double chunk chocolate cookies. That's literally you with your vanilla bean. Chocolate frap, like literally giving the Costco guys. That was you. You were that, like you were that young in. The Costco guys were getting so famous, by the way. They were referenced on SNL. They like...

They took over this college football thing and everyone was doing their little dance. It's actually crazy how I invented the Costco guys. No, it's really crazy. And I didn't get to have a natural experience with them because I met them so early on in life. And the craziest thing about this entire, like the whole world, is that Jackie has met the Costco guys. And I haven't.

And I invented them. I was literally a fan of them. Like I saw their video and I said it to Olivia and I was like, this is going to be your family. Like I was meant to connect with them because as a couple of creators, like we were maybe going to collab or, you know, that's what you say. But like, I don't even think I got a business card because I should totally have them in the studio.

Oh my God, you guys need to do the dance. No, they need to get sat in these chairs. Yeah, they actually do have their own podcast, I think. But I would like to talk, you know, mask off, learn about them as parents, you know, as human beings. Yeah. The Rizzler, of course. Ben is obsessed with The Rizzler. The Rizzler doesn't do it for me. I'm really like an OG Costco family, that kind of gal.

The Rizzler. Major, major update just in time for me to actually leave tomorrow is I did shave my legs. I wore my hairy legs out to Olivia's son's birthday party because like whatever. And they were like really hairy. They were beyond the pale. Like I could have been confused for like a child at the party who's like seven years old, you know? No, like 11. No, I don't think so. Okay, one of the dads. Like I literally could have been confused for one of the dads. One of the dads. Yes.

And let me tell you, Bentley doesn't- Don't flatter yourself. Yeah, not me. I have such skinny seven-year-old black boys. Like-

So Ben doesn't notice things like that. And we were in the car and like the sun was really hitting my legs in like a really unflattering way. And he was like, wow. I just want to say the sun was hitting the legs that day because I was like a few days post shave and you could like see and it's like very light and like you could still see. And when I was looking at my legs in the car on the way to Olivia's son's birthday party, I was like, oh, I could stand to shave. Seeing your legs in the sun like is seriously traumatizing. But I'm

I haven't shaved my legs since swirly summer. Like we went right into fall. You live in Florida. So you have to maintain like what once every two weeks? Well, I've actually been shaving my legs a lot because I've been doing myself spray tan a lot. Correct. Kind of like once every four days. I do it like twice a week, which is crazy. I thought I'd show my legs off the other night. Very sad. I thought I'd show some leg on today's episode. So I don't want to get anyone too excited. But if you're watching on YouTube, I am wearing backer shorts. There is one leg because the other one is tucked under my tissue. Yeah. I definitely look weird. Well,

We'll move around. It's hard to sit in these chairs. Like, it just is. We always move around. So back to what I was saying about Harry Lykes, the Rizzler. How did we get here? We've got a great show. Let me just give a quick run of show for those who might be confused. It's Wednesday. So we have Pargy stories, really Pargy. And we have Dear Toasters. The submissions were making me laugh so hard this morning. Like, seriously, the girlies are not okay. And we've arrived just in time. Okay, well, I'm glad for that.

And I'm glad for the fact that this is not going to be my final trip to Florida for quite some time. I will be back in literally like a month and a half. Jackie and I are performing. We are taking our live podcast, The Girly Swirly's Night Out, to Hollywood, Florida at the Hard Rock Seminole Casino. We're going to Hollywood.

Florida. Like seriously, where's Ryan Seacrest with my ticket to Hollywood? Like that's, we should literally like give those away. That's funny. You need a tiki to Hollywood. A tiki. A tiki to Hollywood, December 8th, Jizno Live at the Hard Rock Casino Hotel shaped like a...

guitar. Such fun for the weekend. Do a little gambling. It's going to be like very holiday themed, the show. It's going to be a holiday. We're calling it a holiday spectacular. Yeah, just no holiday spectacular. Like do a little gambling, make a little love, get down tonight. If you're local, like make it a staycation. If you're not local, like come spend the weekend at the Hard Rock. I've actually been there before. Me and Ben have like gambled many times there because it's like halfway between, it's like, it's like 30 minutes from Miami. So like Ben and I, when we go to Miami, sometimes we're like, should we just...

Go gambling. And it's so fun. So I'm really excited. It's very much like a, I know it's a homecoming show for you, but for me as well. Yeah. There's just going to be a lot of great party vibes. Yeah. Swirly energy. The rumor mill is sort of churning out rumors that it will be the largest gathering of girly swirlies in the continental U.S. Yes. And even though not all the tickets are sold yet, I think we sold more tickets this

Yes. Then like the biggest show we've ever done. So it's already going to be the most amount of swirlies in one place. It's a 6,000 person venue. I believe the last time we checked, we were at like 5,000 tickets. So like it's on track to sell out. And the biggest venue venue prior to this that we had done was the beacon theater, which is 2,900, but now we did do it four times. So that's like 12,000 tickets. It wasn't all swirlies. It wasn't all at once. Yeah. Under one roof. It wasn't a singular congregation. And it's,

not clear if like the roof of this joint is going to bust off from all the swirliness. I know I have to talk to some of my friends in witchcraft, but I do believe like when that much swirly energy is congregated into one particular space, it can have catastrophic catastrophic consequences. We also need to talk to some of our friends like in construction just to make sure the foundation can hold and we don't blow the lid off this place. The foundation and you have a lot of friends in construction.

I have friends everywhere. I've got friends in love. Oh my God. By the way, we never even talked about like those crazy allegations about Garth Brooks. I think we must've been like off or something. I think it was Russia Shunner or something. Yeah. Um, but pretty crazy allegations came out about Garth Brooks. Who's like kind of like the people's person, the people's Garth. And like, you know, he won't put his music on Spotify cause he's so principled, but he's out here like assaulting people, you know, allegedly. What was the allegation? I believe it was from like a glam, a hair and makeup artist from the last, um,

in the last like 10 years who had worked with him um who said Garth like sexually assaulted her a man or a woman a woman damn I know like it's funny when people like won't put their music on Spotify but they'll do that yeah not funny you know what I mean yeah I mean proud to like not have ever been really a Garth girl oh wow now she's distancing herself from Garth no it's not gonna be hard because like there's a lot of distance yeah it's over there

I'm humiliated to admit, like, I do love some of his songs. I just know the one, and I know it from Country Strong, so... Every song I know from Garth Brooks, I literally know. My hands are clean. From Country Strong, except Calling Baton Rouge, that one I learned on my own. Unlearn it. I have a lot of unlearning to do. You do. Yeah. You do. What else did I want to tell you? Because I actually haven't seen you all morning. You should be, like, Kiki in the kitchen. I know. I've had a migraine all morning because...

like one of the worst low key, even though there's no reason for it. The reason is I stayed up so late last night finishing my book because I just absolutely had to finish this book. I was like, I don't want to spend another day reading this book. I was like at 80%. It was midnight. I was like, fuck it. I'm just finishing it. If this book like creeps into one more day of my life, then the book wins. And like, it's a thriller. I just want to know how it ends. And I, and I want to,

Another perfect couple? One perfect couple. So I finished it, but like staying up so late and the lack of sleep gave me a horrible headache. I'm just like, I'm powering through. She's a survivor, you guys. Trying to hydrate. But anyways, also say I finished my book and I didn't like it. Okay. Mostly because I just didn't like the...

You know, the whole premises. I didn't realize that's where it was going. Like, I won't spoil it, but not for me. I started season four of Only Waters in the Building. Oh, so you finished what you had been watching. Yeah, we finished season three last night. I'm really behind on the show.

And let me tell you, they have such good like celebrity cameos. They have a couple of celebrities playing themselves this season because they're like talking about themselves. They're talking about making their podcast into a movie and like Eva Longoria is going to play Selina. So they have people playing themselves, which is cute. But our swirly events, events, I want to go to events, Catherine Cohen, she's in it. Like not as herself, she's like acting as like a director. So you just love to see women in comedy doing big things. Oh, that's exciting. It is. I was like...

I know her. When I saw her on TV, I was like, that's literally my friend. Events, events. I want to go to events. Invite me to your events. And speaking of content, Turdi and I published a vlog yesterday. We are published vloggers on the Patreon. It's a really fun vlog. There's a lot going on, a lot of different elements. It's kind of been taking place over the course of the last four days. So I don't want to spoil too much. Check it out. Patreon.com slash the toast.

Something crazy happens in there and it's that I have never eaten Pura Vida. And Pura Vida is like a chain down in Florida that's so popular. Actually so popular they just opened one in New York. Everyone's talking about it. And it's just kind of giving like parginess in the sense that it's like a clean facility that sells like wraps, salads, and sandwiches and they're all really good. And you're gonna be shocked.

That I didn't like it. Spoiler alert. So yeah, you're gonna want to tune in to find out. But it's more a reflection on me. You're gonna be shocked that Trini didn't order properly. Yeah, I kind of like, I shit the bed a little bit. So I don't want to blame Pura Vida. Yeah. But I'm so like mature recently. Yesterday I took, you know, responsibility for my role in the great Hilary Duff debacle of 2012. And now I'm taking responsibility for my part in Pura Vida. Like I'm seriously so evolved. That's beautiful. Thank you. That's so beautiful. Thank you.

We're proud of you. Thank you. Thank you so much. We got you flowers. Thank you. Oh my God. They smell gorgeous. Don't block your beautiful fudge. I would never dream of it. Oh, you know what I did today? Because it's so interesting. Every time I come down here...

I'm always like, I don't need to pack anything. I have everything I need. I literally have two pairs of underwear here. I have no clothing. There's like a stack of merch outside of your studio that I've been like pillaging. That's literally what I'm wearing. I don't like have a wardrobe here. I need to stop acting like I do. But I do- What about all that stuff that you got from Amber Crombie? Well, I liked it so much I brought it back to New York. Oh, but you do have, there were a couple pairs of jeans. I took them all back to New York. Like I literally don't have, I don't even have a pair of leggings down here. Like I'm just kind of free balling it. Okay. And so-

The only thing I really have on lock is like my I have a full set of makeup here so I always can really do my makeup really well but I it's so funny going through my bathroom here because it's kind of a journey through my hair journey. So there was a time in my life where I really loved to use like a hot brush and then I was obsessed with my curling iron. Now I really I will not do anything to my hair except for the Dyson Airwrap. It is my it took me a while to get there but it is the best thing on the market. It is so like not bad for your hair. It does it gets the job done. I love my hair.

Obviously, I can't buy a second Dyson Airwrap. That's like insane. It's $800. Whereas like my curling iron was like 40, 50 bucks. I could spare to have a second one down here. So I'm just kind of taking a trip down memory lane. My hair has kind of been a journey this week, if you guys haven't noticed. Today I went for the curling iron. I'm so over curling irons. It looks nice. It looks kind of nice too. It took me forever though. Like it really, I can't believe I used to spend that long on my hair. I used to have two Dyson Airwraps. So did I. And that would have been so great. I could have given you one, but I gave it to Olivia. Oh my gosh.

I came back to Margo. We're so generous. We're so sisterly. Literally. Oh, speaking of sisterly, Olivia cooked us such a fat fucking feast last night. Like she called me and she was like, you're coming over for dinner. What do you want? And like, usually when people like are being gracious like that, I'm like, Oh, whatever you chef's choice. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, no bitch, write this down. And she made everything I wanted. Olivia makes the best bolognese or as Jackie was calling it all night. The nizze. Um, she made a sourdough discard pizza, which I didn't request, but I died for like seriously. So good. Um,

And then she made, I wanted her to make, she's gotten really into sourdough. I was craving a dinner roll, you know, just kind of switching it up. So she made sourdough discard, like dinner rolls. Let me tell you, they had to roll me out of there. It was so good. And I just went to bed like with a full belly and a wide smile. Yeah. Dinner was so good. The naise was really good. The naise was on point. As was the lid, the salad. Jackie was being like seriously a teenage boy at dinner last night, like just abbreviating everything for no fucking reason. It's so good.

She goes past the lid and literally the entire table was silent. Like the lid to the jar. I was like, seriously, what are you talking about? It's so Ben's offer. Like pass that gorgeous salad, that GS. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's so Ben's offer. Ben's offer is actually having a crisis of identity this morning.

Because he went to Starbucks? No, he goes to Starbucks every morning. Because he's driving his Lyric? You know, Ben is, well, first of all. Have we spoken about the Lyric? We haven't. Ben, you know, Ben is like very connected. So all of a sudden we get to Jackie's house and he's like, by the way, I borrowed a car for the week. Like Cadillac loaned us one. I'm like, okay, you just know folks at Cadillac. He's like, yeah, I tried to get us a Hummer, but like they were out. They gave us this Cadillac Lyric and they give us this really cool.

gorgeous vehicle. It's a beautiful sky blue. But it is electric, which there's nothing wrong with, but I think like fundamentally. It's electric. An electric, not even a hybrid, like a purely electric vehicle really goes against everything Ben Soffer believes in. Like one thing about Ben Soffer, like he's a gas guzzler. Like he's old school like that. Even when he took your Tesla for like a road trip to Orlando. It didn't work for his lifestyle and his driving habits. He hated it. But at least with the Tesla, like Tesla chargers are so universal. Like I've never been to a gas station that doesn't have one. Um,

And so Ben's been literally driving around this car with 5% for the last couple of days. Because it doesn't use a Tesla charger. I have a charger at my house, but it won't use it. So he's been needing to go find like an easy charger in the wild. We spent the afternoon at the mall on Sunday. It was so nice. And they have chargers there. So we like drove to this rogue parking lot in the mall to charge. And what's great, you can like leave it there and charge and lock your car and like go to the mall. So whatever, you have to wait an hour, but you were going to go to the mall anyway. They were awful. There was only four. So like we couldn't even get one. So then he just kept driving. Like, and I was like, we're literally gonna be left in the middle of the road when this car is dead. Like what?

I have to say, let me tell you that thing holds a lot of charge because we had like 10% for like four days. And then Ben was like, I finally, I said, you take all these calls. All you do is take calls. Like take your one of your calls at some charging station.

He did. He came back and he was like visibly like a changed man. Like now having sat at a charging station, it wasn't the parking lot of a target. So he ended up spending a hundred dollars on toys for the kids, which was actually so sweet. But just know Ben's offer is having an identity crisis. Like electric vehicles and Ben's offer are just not Congress with one another. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it's a really nice vehicle and it's called the Lyric and that's been fun for us. So it's not surface lyrics. It's called the Cadillac Lyric, but it's spelled L-Y-R-I-Q. It is? Yeah, of course. That's why we're calling it the Lyric. No, we're calling it the Lyric because we always call it Lyric. No, no, no. Because of the Q. Because of the Lyric. Jackie, because of the Q. Oh my God. I didn't know that there was a Q-munity. Lyric Q. Lyric Q.

- We're obsessed with the lyric. If you have a lyric, like that is so amazing. - So amazing. - I haven't been inside. I need to go inside before you guys leave. - It's really nice. - I feel like I would like it. I love the color. It's like the color of my outfit. - Yeah, it's like a baby blue. It's really parjie. - Parjelish. - Can you pass me the iPad? 'Cause you know, we are sharing today and we have a lot to get into. - Yes, we do. So without further ado about the lyric cue, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know. - Oh my God, wait, this is not my iPad. I didn't know that.

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slash toast, your mouth will truly thank you. Today's episode is also brought to you by Skims. So Jackie and I are two women of substance, I would say. And what that really means is that like we have lived lives, you know, some of us have fluctuated weight, you know, 50 to 70 pounds, depending on the day. Some of us have birthed and nursed two children. Like our boobs aren't what they used to be. And they kind of require more than the average, I would say. We're also Jewish, which just gives like an extra sag,

If I'm being honest, another SAG award. And so when it comes to finding bras that really fit that, that support, we take this really seriously. Let me tell you, the bras from Skims are not to be messed with. Like they are serious bras. I know I've told the story a lot, but I feel like it really speaks to the quality of Skims and their brassieres. You know, I was suffering from back issues really. And I was kind of worried. I went to physical therapy, which didn't really do anything. And I, it was kind of disheartening. I was like, am I going to need back surgery? And then I got a new bra. It was a Skims fits everybody t-shirt bra.

Let me tell you, I never went back to physical therapy again. And thank God because I had like an embarrassing experience. The pants. I cannot. And I have Skims bras for like all different parts of my day because I'm changing my bra like two, three times a day. One for laying in bed, one for, you know, maybe going out into the streets, one for just walking around the house. And they really have all different bras. My everyday bra that I wear like under shirts and stuff is the Fits Everybody t-shirt bra. It is so supportive. And they have so many sizes and they'll help you find your size. Like knowing what actual bra size you are is half the battle to this life. So shop Skims bras at Skims.com.

Available in 62 sizes, so that's 30A up to 46H. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select in the drop-down menu that follows the toast. Yeah.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Amazon Live. For those of you who've been living under a rock, Amazon honestly sounds amazing. There's a lot going on in the world, but you don't know that Amazon Live is a shoppable video experience from Amazon where you can learn about the hottest products from influencers and creators like meself and shop while you're watching. So you'll be able to find beauty must-haves, get ready with me demos, live try-ons of all the latest trends,

from the Gargi Parji Swirlies. It's honestly a brilliant concept. I feel like we spend so much time like watching different Get Ready With Me's, people's makeup tutorials, but Amazon does it with like your favorite creators. They have me, they have Paige Estorbo, not me putting myself first, Lala, Kent, Kyle Richards, like all these glam girlies that you'd love to follow, but they're actually making their videos completely shoppable on Amazon, which is where we're buying all of our stuff anyway.

And they have great concepts like for show. So Ben and I did like a great cooking once if you were looking for like new home stuff, cooking utensils, things of that nature. You could shop live as we were doing it. If you were like really are into like clothing, Paige DeSorbo is always doing like really chic styling ones. She also has her own show. It's called In Bed with Paige DeSorbo where she like interviews people. So if you're just looking to catch up with the Swirly's, like it's a great entertainment show.

channel, you enjoy an entertainment network, but if you're looking for like actually helpful tips where you can like watch a video and then buy the things that are exactly in the video, Amazon live is fabulous.

I've done some with Snitch, with Ben. They've been really, really fun. So you can stream now and shop my channel on Amazon Live by going to amazon.com slash live slash girl with no job. Or you can enjoy the best of Amazon Live and their new live YouTube channel on freebie or a prime video under the DIY section and shop along on your phone. So you can watch on your phone. You can watch on your TV. It's really a premium experience. Highly recommend following your girl swirly over here. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Our first story, like news that really has me heartbroken today. What?

Brianna Chicken Fry and Zach Bryan have announced their breakup. So one, the two of them have broken up. Zach Bryan is a country singer. Brianna Chicken Fry is a podcaster slash influencer slash just like swirly energy. Um,

They broke up a few days ago, which we wouldn't have known. But then Zach Bryan posted on his Instagram. No, he posted on his Instagram because there was a story screenshots of like him being on riots at active 24 within the last 24 hours. And of course, like the Internet and like Reddit and all these forms, TikTok have like really been so obsessed with this relationship that like they are.

Like they saw this and they were like, finally. So right. There was a story yesterday, like news broke that they had broken up, but like neither of them had said anything. And then a few hours later, Zach Bryan posted a statement on his Instagram and said, I have such a problem with this statement. Can you read like the first two sentences? I need to get to the last one. Brianna and I have decided to break up with Brianna. Like read it. Addressing something. Brianna.

Brianna and me have broken up with each other and I respect and love her with every ounce of my heart. Brianna and me have broken up with each other. This is the greatest songwriter of our time. She has loved me unconditionally for a very long time and for that I'll always thank her. I have had an incredibly hard year personally and struggled through some pretty severe things. I thought it would be beneficial for both of us to go our different ways. I am not perfect. Different ways?

Yeah, that's what people say. You go separate ways. Like seriously, no, the statement is not English. Yeah, it gets worse. I'm not perfect and never will be. Please respect Brianna's privacy and space in this. And if you have it in your heart, mine too. With everything I am to anyone I let down, I am sorry. That's like really confusing. It's a really crazy statement. I think he meant like to anyone I let down, I am sorry with everything that I am. Wait.

I tried my best in everything. I failed people that love me and mostly myself. That's me, myself, and the people that love me. Yeah. The statement makes actually no sense, but what I gleaned is like that he's a real piece of shit. And like, whatever went down in the relationship was not Brianna's fault. So what I gleaned was that like he broke up with her or he was like the real catalyst for the breakup because he needs to work on himself. It does then hark back to that like drunk Taylor Swift tweet.

like not to make it all about her, but like we were just saying a few weeks ago, like, Oh, he says crazy things, drinks and tweets. And like, and then he said he has a hard year and he's going through a lot of stuff. So it's sort of, it's painting a picture. I also immediately thought of the Taylor Swift tweets because it was like drinking and tweeting. It's like drinking and releasing statements. Cause this is also like seriously grammatically so fucked up. And this is something you would read a couple of times before posting. So then also what was the first thing? Uh,

update on something. What was it? Addressing something. Something? Like that's so rude. What about nothing? No, let me tell you, I have fallen onto the side of TikTok and I feel like we say this every time Zach Bryan comes up. Zach Bryan is oddly like a blind spot for me even though I should love his music. He's like a little, I think Gen Z for me. Whatever. Agreed, same for me. So I haven't like really been following this whole thing but because all this stuff was coming out yesterday and I'm a chronically online girly,

I fell into like seriously the worst side of the internet. - Okay, well let's just finish the story and then you can share what you fell into. - Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. - Then is Chicken Fry posted saying, "Hey guys, I'm feeling really blindsided right now. Gonna hop off social media for a while and attempt to heal privately when I'm ready. I'll be back and when I'm heal privately when I'm ready, I'll be back and ready to talk."

I love you guys so much. Thank you for all your kind words. Remember, you are so loved and everything's always going to be okay. Then she also posted a video to her podcast YouTube channel. It's like a few minute video of her on the floor in her bathroom, just obviously going through it. And she said, like, I'm not,

I'm so upset and explain why she's so upset that she's put everything into this relationship and how she's like embarrassed and been crying on the internet. Like, fuck it. She doesn't care. I also just found the video just like so entertaining because she really is like just an entertaining person. Yeah. That's why she's a successful influencer. She also said like she was just genuinely shocked. So she like, they had broken up the day before at,

after like five hard days. So it seemed like they were like going through it for four days. And on the fifth day they broke up. And then the next day he posted a statement confirming that they broke up. And she said, I was, she was blindsided maybe by the breakup, but she's saying she's blindsided by the fact that

The fact that he put out a statement, he didn't text her, he didn't call her, he didn't tell her he was going to do that. And that is something that you would run by like a long-term partner when you're going to bring something so private public. Of course. And I think it's so much more layered than that because the entire, like the internet has really played a part in their relationship in the sense that like all of his fans, like the girl fans who like love him, like they fucking hate Brianna. They are so jealous. Like I'm at like literally what happened to her is like,

something that happens in one of my books like she was the biggest fan met him once he was so dazzled by her literally got into a year-long relationship he's flying her all around the world private buying a house in her hometown getting dogs together so in love with her taking her to Paris like it's literally a dream and like these bitches are so fucking jealous like but and they have seriously like tortured Brianna like and the internet plays such a big part and like they love him and hate her interesting so for him to also put a statement out and just kind of like

Go fuck yourself. You're on your own, kid. That's why I think it's even more hurtful because he knows how ruthless his fans are, the female fans, are to her. And he's just kind of creating a space for more hate to be sent her way with just this random statement that they needed to strategize PR-wise together because it has been so toxic. To shield her.

Like he did not. He did. It could have been like the last nice thing he could have done for her. They could have put out a joint statement that would just like shut it down for the moment until they were ready to talk. And instead he just like put it out there for the world to read incoherently, might I add. And she's on her own. Yeah. Like to me, I think that might be and I don't know these people at all. Ben has only been met Brianna Chicken Fry once. He said she was really nice. Like I don't know her, but I think that probably has to be the worst part of it.

Yeah, I think that's what she was like really struggling with in the video because she and she was saying like about the heartbreak. She was like, she's devastated, but like she'll get over it. Like she'll be OK. And I also just like I like her as an as a creator. But even just her attitude, I just like her as a person. I feel like that's a really good message. Like I'm going to I'm sad, but I'm going to be OK. No, and it's devastating to like break up with a great love. And everyone's like, well, you should have known how you get him as he's traded on his wife. Like that doesn't mean.

That doesn't make the whole experience. Like you didn't really dated someone seriously for over a year. You built a life together. Like it's devastating. Jackie, people are so happy about this. Like it is so shot in for it. It's so literally, I don't know. I don't know what my TikTok thinks I am that they put me on this side. People dancing. Finally. Oh my God. Like seriously, like the best thing to ever happen to them. I've been waiting for this day to come. Like seriously, you're evil. That's so sick. And I didn't even know that that's the energy that's out there, but then it shouldn't surprise me. I was really, I was really like sad.

sad to hear that they broke up. I was really, really rooting for them. I thought they were like such a cute couple and they seemed so in love and so happy and yeah,

It was just, it was really sweet. It was a fairy tale. Like you said, it was a fairy tale. It happens out of a book. But the thing is, is like if you follow Zach Bryan and his dating history, which a lot of people do, like this is a pattern of his, like he gets into these really serious relationships and like writes these beautiful songs and like does everything like really like dream man and ends up like being so toxic and leaving in really terrible ways. Like I think he was married like a while ago to someone he met in the Navy and like literally served her divorce papers via mail. Like, like I never saw this lady again. Like he does. So people like Brianna should have known.

Like you can't help but you fall in love with. Like of course you're always going to think you're different. Like I am different. Right. And Jackie, I can't even explain like the vitriol I saw on social media. Like so jealous. So jealous. I feel bad. I was rooting for them as well. I didn't see this one coming. No.

neither did I and people are like well he's on Raya and I feel like there's been a couple instances in their relationship TikTok is always me informing me of like their like drama someone's like I had sex with Zach Bryan and like they make it into this big thing and like maybe you did maybe you didn't but it's like the internet really up until this point has created they've like manifested this breakup so like so many times there have been like Zach Bryan DM cheating allegations and like you don't even it's not real um but this time I guess it was yeah we

I'm rooting for Brianna. Of course, of course. Rooting for Brianna. And she did say multiple times that like soon she will tell. Oh no, I'm ready. I feel like now when you have like a meaningful relationship, I feel like we talk about this with like Taylor Swift. Like,

Even if your business is to like drag someone via music or podcast, if you have a really meaningful relationship with them and like it ends in a respectful way, you don't want to drag. Like it's disrespectful. But when somebody like he has wronged her, I feel like now she feels no sort of obligation. And also like that's her job is like talking about her life. So like she would have talked about it regardless and maybe been more vague. But I don't think we're going to get vagueness. I think we're going to get.

tit for tat which um i'm ready i i may have some lip gloss yeah i um i'm sat as the inside for yeah i agree um i'm team chicken fry can i ask an elder millennial question i'll do my best to answer why do they call her brianna chicken fry as that is not her last name it's not her last name that i don't know i can't help you there

It's like her internet name. Yeah, I know. But it's like so funny how it's caught on. Like page six, really blindsided Brianna Chicken Fry. Like I feel like nobody talks about the fact that like. That's not her name. That's not her name. It's just like so funny and crazy that like we call her that like it's her name. Yeah.

I can't help you there. Maybe Margaret. A little bit of chicken fry. Well, then that made the whole situation really confusing for a lot of people who were like just learning about chicken fry. They're like, wait, she dates Zach Bryan or Zach Brown who sings the song Chicken Fried. Did he write Chicken Fry about her? Right, right.

So that's why it got confusing. I can see how that's confusing for people. I agree. If you're not like in. If you didn't know any of this beforehand. I also think Brianna Chicken Fry is having a bad week because she said something on her podcast that got so much backlash. Like she gave her take on the TV show about the Menendez brothers, which like wasn't the take that everybody else has. And like people were so mad and she went on her podcast and she was like, I literally stand by what I said. I was like, oh damn. And-

You know, even if you're used to it, dealing with like blowback from just like an opinion, it's hard. Like it can be overwhelming, especially when like I saw it everywhere. Like it was all over TikTok and stuff. That's so crazy to have like an opinion on like, I didn't watch the documentary. And do I want to step in here? No. Yeah, right. No, I didn't watch the documentary either. Because truly I do not watch, the Menendez brothers are a blind spot for me. Same. So I'm not going to say a damn thing. Yeah, but she just basically like went through it last week and now this week again. So seriously, send her healing energy. But so are her like, are her podcast haters?

Really just like the Zach Bryan fans who hate her. Yeah, I think obviously dating someone that famous like put her podcast on a different level. Yeah. And he has just these rabid female fans who think that they should be Brianna Chicken Fry. Like it should be me. And so they just from day one have just fucking hated her because they're so jealous.

It's not gonna be you. - It's not gonna be you. - I don't know how to tell you. - Honestly though, like it could. He's so kind of unpredictable. - Yeah, but I mean, odds, it's gonna be one. So it couldn't even be two of you. - Yeah. ♪ Who knows, I might let you make me Juno ♪ ♪ I might let you make me Bruno ♪ - I might let you make me Bruno. - I don't know, you have to be really special. - It's true.

Brewie. I can't believe I never sang Bruno. Yeah. God, it's like...

It's right there. It's because it's like Brewis Lewis. His name is literally not Bruno. It's Brewis. Yeah. I think a lot of people have been wondering, millions actually, have been wondering where I landed with Romeo. Where is Romeo? Oh, no, he's at the trainer. Like, he was annoying as hell. I obviously wanted to bring him down here. He doesn't stop barking, like, in my face. That's not what I was talking about. Problematic. Problematic behavior. And he had to seriously, like, do his time. And I'll see him tomorrow. But a lot of people wondering what we ended up, like, nicknaming him. Like, you know, it's so funny what you...

Theo ended up being Croonch. How we got there, I can't even tell you. Romeo, and actually this was heavily inspired by you, is Scumba. Explain. So in...

The Hamptons, Bruno and Romeo, were like kind of this iconic duo. And you call Bruno Brumba because he's like a Roomba. He like eats everything on the floor. So I kept referring to them as Roomba and Brumba. So then when we got home, it was like Roomba, Scumba, Scumba. Scumba. I like it. Yeah. No, I don't have a Roomba. I have a Brumba. Yeah. It's kind of nice. It is nice. It's much cuter and fluffier. Correct. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm.

Martha Stewart is addressing the beef with Ina Garten. I had no idea. So Martha and Ina used to be friends and there is like some longstanding beef. Martha was on Watch What Happens Live and she was asked about something that she wrote in her book, which was about Ina Garten. So back in the day, the cooks met and became friends in the 90s in the Hamptons where they both lived.

Ina later penned a column for Martha Stewart Living and secured her first book deal with Stewart's help after bringing a publisher to her specialty food store in the Bay Area for Contessa. So they were like seriously swirling. They were swirling and they were like helping, like sisters helping each other out in the biz. Like they weren't even competitive. Yes. So while Martha was on Watch What Happens Live, Andy brought up Ina's new memoir that's not called

memoirs of an Ina but here it shall be yeah um and he brought up the feud and he said that that he had read parts of Ina's book and she said that they like fell out uh because Martha moved back to Connecticut and Martha said that's not true she said that she stopped being friends Ina had stopped being friends with Martha when she went to jail she actually wouldn't say she's like she stopped being friends with me when yeah

And then Andy finished her jail and she said, yeah. Cause I didn't know what she was implying. I literally forgot this bitch went to jail. Like, so I'm like, when, what, when, what, when you got divorced? Like, and then I was like, oh damn, that's totally something I know would do. Like Ina's definitely like, she doesn't fuck with felons. Like, and then Snoop Dogg chimed in as like a funny joke retort being like, yeah. And that's when I stepped in. Yeah. And, um, I didn't know any of this. I didn't even know that these two were friends. And I think if you would have asked me prior, like, do you think these two swirlies know each other? I'd be like,

Probably, right? Yeah, that they know each other, but I'm actually surprised to hear how well they got on. That's like asking if you know Joanna Gaines and Christina Hawk. It's not the same. Jackie, it's not the same. But like, do you know

mean like yes actually when two people are doing the exact same thing like you kind of pretend like the other doesn't exist so to know that they were right Carrie and JLo yeah to know that they were like real and true swirlies no it's it actually was so niche like in the Hamptons doing cookware doing lifestyle and they could have easily like disliked one another and like been competitive but not only did they like become friends but they were helping each other out like working together it's kind of beautiful and the fact that Ina ruined it like

Yeah. This is like a bad look for Ina because yes, of course, like Martha went to jail and sometimes you want to distance your friend to like did something bad. I want to say if you're, if your friend insider trading is truly a victimless crime. However, what I was going to say, like when that's your friend, it's just like trusting your faves. No, it's like trusting your faves. Like I love you. I know you're a good person. Like I'm, I'm with you because like I've always, I've always thought those things about you. But if your faves, like did something really deplorable, like,

- Murder? - Of course, murder. But like, what the hell did Jen Shah do? Like scamming the elderly and the vulnerable, like something really unethical. I don't know, I have a hard time feeling bad for like the government or whoever you steal from when you insider trade. Like I can understand Martha's just out here trying to make a quick buck. Like to me that's like, I can feel sympathy. And like, if that's my friend, like bitch, I'm not judging her at all. Like I'd probably do it too. That's a joke.

I like Ina distancing herself. Like that's just pure shallow, right? Like you don't actually care. Like I can see if a friend of mine like went to prison for something really like awful, like kidnapping, like that's not my friend. Yeah, that's not my friend. So this is like kind of losery of Ina. I stand with Martha.

I agree. It's a bad look for Ina. And at the end of the day, like Martha's completely bounced back. With her book just coming out, it's like, okay, liar. Like you actually addressed it in your book and it's not true. So what else in there is a lie? Correct. Makes you think maybe the title is a lie. What was the title again? And it's supposed to be Memoirs of an Ina. Yeah, it's a prank. The title is Be Ready When the Luck Happens. Seriously, the worst name of a title. Someone DM'd me what the title should have been for this book. Sure. Yeah.

Barefoot confessions. Barefoot confessions are like confessions of a, or contessions. Confessions of a Contessa. Yeah, something with confessions of Contessa. I think maybe she's over that specific, like it was the name of her store, her TV show, her book. Like maybe she wants to branch out a little bit, but like, sorry, branding is branding. Yeah, and be ready when the luck happens.

What the hell are you talking about? And it's like something about the sentence structure. It's like very a passive sentence. Yeah. There's no like proper noun or whatever. It's a bad sentence. You know what I mean? Yeah. A thousand percent. It's a bad title. Like I think we all agree. Yeah. So Martha wins this round. Martha?

Martha Stewart stays winning. And I feel like it could really be studied. Like she literally went to prison. She went through like a national scandal and she always comes out on top. I wonder what that's attributed to. Is it a strong sense of self? Women's strength. Yeah. Strength of one woman. I feel like Martha like truly at her core, like does not give a fuck. I never has. I just want to say all of the other press about like the ex-husband and the...

cheating like all of the imagery that they're using for it is like black and white photos like it's giving he passed away like but you're saying he didn't he did not pass away but and I know that now but even when I see all the other headlines like why are you guys using photos from the 70s and they're black and white that's weird wait speaking of like old I found out something this morning that like really shook me to my core you know and like you think something happened so long ago but like it actually didn't it came up on my tiktok it was a picture of Donald Trump and Rosa Parks

And I said to myself, literally how? That she was much elderly. Well, yes, but also like you feel like things because like her moment was we what we know her from was so long ago. But I feel like she probably only passed away like 20 years ago. Yeah. But also like the civil rights movement wasn't that long ago. I know. That's what I'm saying. Like when you think things happen like so long ago. Welcome to the 60s. That's also like Anne Frank. Like she could if she hadn't perished, like she could be alive right now. It's not like out of the realm of possibility. That wouldn't shock me. I was shocked.

I was also shocked to see like a contemporary photo of Rosa Parks. Yeah. I don't know why. In my mind, she's like ingrained in like a textbook. In 60s. Yeah. Welcome. I don't think that's appropriate. Why? Hey mama, welcome to the 60s.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I don't want them to. I don't want them to. But I feel like Hairspray is one of those movies that gets revamped like every like decade or so. When do you think the next one will be? Like not for a while, right? Not for a while. I hope they never do. Yeah. It would be pointless. You're pointless to me. Wait, I just remembered something. Hmm.

So we like a week ago interviewed someone that's going to be on the podcast like in a month. I don't want to be annoying. We're not going to spoil it. And we really had wanted to talk to this person about. I know. And we didn't. I know. I just remembered that. I know it didn't come up. It was like on my list. But we just kept having such great conversation. And then it was over and there wasn't a time for it, honestly. Oh, I would have loved to have asked. Without like disrupting the natural flow of the convo. And it was so natural. So natural. Oh, natural as my people say.

Are you ready for our next story? A little more few news. God, the girls are fighting. The girls are fighting Lala and Ariana. Lala is sharing a heartbreaking update on her friendship with Ari, Anna. That's confusing. And then also some better rules news came out that like this season has just now started filming and that, um, it,

It very quite possibly could be the last due to like salary disputes. I think a lot of the casts who are like renegotiating their contract are so far off from Bravo. Like usually you can meet in the middle, but a lot of them are like not budging. And so many of the relationships are so strained that they actually won't film, but kind of like Melissa, Melissa and Teresa, um, that it's kind of at a standstill. I'm curious what the season's going to be. Yeah. So Lala talked a little bit about it. She was on Jeff Lewis live, um, saying that she has no relationship, uh,

with Ariana and added that a reconciliation will never happen. As for the possibility of the Bravo series returning for another season amid its ongoing hiatus, Lala hinted that the series may be done after the cheating scandal. She said, let's just say there's no more story to tell, right? There's only two people to blame for that, and that's Sandoval and Markel. Okay, Ariana, I will always be a cheerleader for you. She said a lot of nice things about Ariana while also like

being adamant about the fact that there's no path to friendship. She said she was absolutely fantastic on Broadway. She, I heard, killed it on Love Island. I've never watched the show and certainly didn't start watching it because we're not gonna, but I have no ill feelings about anybody on the show and that's what it feels for the first time. I just feel peace. Yeah, I feel like...

People on social media, because I saw like all the Bravo, like people talking about this, like their automatic assumption when it comes to Lala and Ariana is that like Lala is so jealous of all the opportunities that came Ariana's way and all the money and the brand deals and the commercials and the opportunities, Broadway, Love Island. And like that is the whole reason why-

The two can't work it out. And I don't know. I'm not even like, like I know you love Lala and like you should trust your faves. Like I don't even see Lala like as, as I don't love her in that sense, but I feel like she's a little bit more like complex and mature than just to like write someone off out of jealousy. Yeah. I feel, and I also feel like from a strategy standpoint, if someone is like their star is taking off, staying close to them is actually like the best thing you could do. So I feel like that's just so like too simple and like, that's not it. It's not it. Um, and I, I think it,

It's fair to say, like if someone's getting all those opportunities, like yeah, like who wouldn't be jealous of that? Are you not a human being? Also like stand next to her, like she'll say no to something and they'll come to you next. Right. But I think,

That that is just like one small, small piece of the overall pie of why they're no longer friends. But something like that's so like basic. Yeah. And I feel like Lala's like smarter than that. Even if you don't like Lala, you have to acknowledge like she's a complicated person. She's not like so like small minded in the sense, I'm jealous, bye. But you can also like be jealous of someone without it like being a real issue. Like I think it's a natural human reaction to someone having something that you want.

Right? Like what is the best person on earth supposed to feel? Like nothing? Then where are you going? No, and especially like for all the girls who have been on that show for so many years and really went through like horrible things on the show and never got that sort of treatment. For Ariana, it was like this perfect storm, right? Everyone started paying attention and she was shot to stardom and it was so great. But I think...

It's very human to be like, why didn't that happen to me when my baby daddy cheated on me before? Right. That doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend anymore and I won't be there for you. But like, I think it's a normal human reaction. But I don't think it's the whole reason. No, not even close. But I don't know what the reason is. But like...

Say the perfect human being. How would they, like, how would even that person not feel like a little bit just jealous of an opportunity that they wanted that someone else got? You can feel like, oh, a little envious, but like, I'm so happy for you and I support you and I want to be your friend. Right, right, right. You know? But I would love to know, like, what the true...

Breakdown was maybe I think it had to do I think was a perfect storm of things also But I think it had to do with Ariana's contribution to the show and like Lala feeling like Ariana wasn't bringing it She does have all these things. She doesn't have to bring it here She is getting all of those things because of work that we all I think it was like a lot more complex than that Yeah, it's a good way of looking at well probably also like other things behind the scenes and like things that were said just like Petty reality TV drama right usual right right right um

So we'll see what happens with VPR. But it does beg the question, like with this reality shows and like a certain group of friends, do you get to a point where there is no more that you can tap from the well? Right. And actually, like I think they did tap decently when it came to the valley is like this offshoot that I think is really working.

Um, I don't know. Like, I don't even know what precedent we could like look at of like a, a show that got so big with just these regular people to what end? Yeah. Any or none, you know? I don't know. I have wondered. And I feel like we had this conversation right before Scandival because the show was sort of just like fizzling out. They were trying like Charlie and Danica and Brett and Max, and it was just like weird and wrong and off. And we were like, it's crazy.

probably time for the show to end. And then thankfully the scandal thing, like breathe new life into it. But now I feel like we're back at that standstill. So here are things that could happen to breathe, but they would have to be genuine because if it was Tom Schwartz and Lala getting together, him becoming the father of her children and then her and Tom having to deal with Katie and then everyone else like Sheena, where would she go? And by the way,

I can't recommend that storyline enough. Lala, get on it. Lala and Tom, if you're feeling that in any sort of way, I would say pursue it. Lean in. However, you can't do it artificially. We'll sniff it out. There would be nothing worse. What else could happen? Tom and Ariana could get back together.

As long as we're just like pulling things out of thin air. Or like Ariana and Brock. Don't even say it. I'm obsessed. Actually, the couple that I feel most protective over is Brock and Sheena. It's true. I think they oddly have the healthiest relationship. Scandival was also kind of easier to like

Swallow because Raquel was like no because like Tom and Ariana was never like I mean no one was really thought that they were OTP but you weren't actually watching no one was reading with your phone down because like they are no one was reading for those two like they were seriously awful together so like I don't know I don't want to see like a beautiful home being broken up like that's actually TV I don't want to watch Kristen Doty and Tom Sandoval could get back together that like doesn't do it for me it would do it for a lot of people but like honestly bring back Stassi

She would never, I think. No, she has never. Her own show withstanding, like if they offered her a ton of money to be like, come revive this show, I still don't even think she would. Well, you know what's so funny? She was on a podcast and she was saying how like one of the producers asked her to come back to Vanderpump Royals and she like really thought about it and she decided no. But they had a meeting and she like walked into that meeting like ready to say like, no, thank you. And it turned out that like it was just one producer who was like ideating. They hadn't even like- It wasn't a formal offer? No. That's funny. And it wasn't come,

Right, right, right. But she got to like really know like if they wanted me back, I still wouldn't do it. Yeah, and I think that's the right move for her. Yeah. And then of course ending up with your own show on like Hulu is so premium. But even if it hadn't, I still think she never would have or should have. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story? Number four. Yeah. A little more exes news. This is kind of crazy. Battle of the exes. Battle. Literal battle of the exes. Maren Morris and ex-husband Ryan Hurd are both set to release new music on the same day after they divorced a few years ago. So Maren Morris and her husband are both country music stars. They divorced a few years ago and they're each dropping a new single on Friday, October 25th. Now, I feel like

These two are not like and if you don't know country music, let me just say like obviously you probably still know Maren Morris. She's one of the biggest singers. Like I don't feel like him releasing a song on the same day as her like really moves the needle for her at all for him. Like no, no, no. It's not about like is this taking streams away from either one of them like that?

Is it's like it's just weird. And maybe October 25th is like a significant day. Maybe they're just on the same track. Or like maybe they actually get I don't actually don't know their divorce to have been particularly contentious. Like maybe these songs like are kind of sisters to one another. I would love that. And like one is responding to kind of like Jolene and Diane. For sure. It would be better if like they were married because.

Well, I don't think they're working together in this sort of like way because if they were married, it's actually a really good idea for like, well, maybe not Garth and Trisha. Tim and Faith. You know, this is definitely weird. Like I'm just trying to come up with like theories to make it not weird, but like it is weird. Yeah.

And I do know like when I think it's a pure coincidence. I know. But when you are releasing music and like you have huge teams with your record label, like they look at who's releasing on the same day. A lot of people move around. They don't want to be near Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift or Adele or Beyonce. Like you always look at who's on the release radar that week because you don't want to compete. So, you know. Yeah. Her song is called People Still Show Up and his song is called This Party Sucks.

I feel like they do not have anything to do with it. They're not not congruous. Look, she threw the party. People still show up and he shows up to the party. He says this party sucks. Yeah. Or it's like this party sucks, but like people could still show up. You know, there's a lot of ways that these two lyrics could be connected. Could they be connected on the lyric cue on the lyric cue for sure? Yeah.

So this is weird. We'll see you on Friday. Mimi Webb also has a new song coming out on Friday that she's been teasing. Oh my God, huge. And it sounds so good. Huge for the community. You guys do not sleep on Mimi Webb. What are the web Mimi Webb fans call themselves? The Websters? Just Jackie.

Literally. I don't know what they, I'm like big fans of a lot of people, but I'm not in any communities for fandoms. Well, I think I'm not even like a little mixer. I think sometimes, right. That's a good example. Like sometimes fandoms like, or even like the artists themselves are,

push this like branded name so hard. It's like, no one's calling themselves that. Right. But people very naturally call themselves like a Bay hive or a Swifty. But sometimes like you try to give a name to your fan. I'm like, when it comes to singers or like, I'm an Arianator. Yeah. Like, no, you're not. That's not a thing. But like, I feel like this, what are the smizers? What are the smiley fans? Smilers. Smilers. Like it just, some of them didn't take off. And I feel like it has nothing to do with the artists themselves. Like having a lot of fans or a little like, cause Ariana has a ton of fans. Like,

It's like, Arianator. Like, it was a bad one. Yeah. The Selenators? That's a bad one, too. I kind of love it. No, Swifty is really good. What are the Sabrinators called? The Carpenters? I don't know. I'm one of them. I'm one of them, too. I'm one of them. I don't know what they call themselves. I'm with them. I'm with them. I am they them. Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is a little sports news?

Is it about LeBron? Yeah. Okay. I saw this video. I have a lot of thoughts. It's a little familial news. So we had reported, right? That like his son was being drafted to the team that he was on. Yes. And now LeBron James shares the court with his son, Bronny in his historic first NBA game with a father son duo. So the NBA obviously like started yesterday because Ben was going on about it. I think this happened. I think it was on like in

the living in the living room boys were watching so lebron started the game alongside his teammates he scored 16 points and then bronnie came out and played for three minutes in the second quarter this article says that he scored no points one one rebound and this is people magazine they're not even as shady but that is shady like it's at bronnie who played for three minutes in the second quarter scored no points one rebound and zero assists and none for grudging wieners

And none for Rodney James. I, that was like, but that's just the facts of the story. So now let's discuss. Okay. History. Let's talk about history. I, to me, like, I feel like it's, the story here is not that they played together. Obviously they're on the same team. It was bound to happen. And it was the first game. Like, it's not that crazy. The fact that like a father and son are on the same team is like actually so crazy to me. One, you know, age wise, you would think like. It's a, I think it's a feat.

for the ages yes in a positive way like it doesn't at the top of his game and he's pushing 40 happen because there's no it doesn't happen because there's not a lot of like father sons who are playing but it's like because one person ages out at the same time that another person could play right and there are a lot of professional athletes whose dads were professional in all sports and you always hear about it like oh his dad Christian McCaffrey like yeah the great whatever so for them to have crossed paths like it is so crazy and for them to be on the same team like now I'm suspicious

Of? Of like, how did your son get, of all the teams in all the land? Well, I remember he said years ago before his son was even available to be drafted, like whoever drafts my son, I will go there because he's using his influence to get his son a great spot. Yeah. It's like, it's crazy. Yeah. So LeBron's 39 and Bronny's 20.

Which explains, but like him being a 39 year old. Oh wait, LeBron's 39. So he had him when he was 19? Yeah. Oh damn. So, but him being a 39 year old like star of the league is what is so impressive. Yeah. It's really crazy.

Yeah. It was cute. No, it's really cute. And like literally everyone was standing up cheering. Like it's, it's cool to see something happening for the first time, you know? Yeah. I like it. History. History. You and me got a whole lot of history. Oh, well, thanks for the sports news. We're so sporty today.

What else did we talk about sports? NBA in the beginning. The Subway Series. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Subway Series. We're kind of all over sports. The Subway Series that wasn't. We have Deer Toasters, which is our weekly advice segment. Said it should be called the Red Eye Series.

Oh, I like that because, yeah. You have to take the red-eye to get from, like, L.A. to New York. I mean, you don't have to, but most do. No, but that is the crazy thing about baseball. You play two games. You get one day off to travel. So when it was, like, New York versus Philly, it was kind of a dream. They're taking a six-hour flight every three days. That's messed up. It's wrong. I'm worried about the players. Me too. Shohei deserves better than that. They all do. Shohei specifically. No, no, no. They all do. Shohei's different. They're all humans. So we are going to do Deer Toasters, which is brought to you by Squarespace.

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Now, today's episode is also brought to you by Splash Refresher. Thank you, Jackie. Oh, and thankfully. Would you mind doing a little product demo for the swirlies who are watching on YouTube? I would love to because we have our Splash Refreshers in studio with us after yesterday when we needed a pargy little beverage. That was a huge mistake. We made sure. We need a fridge up here, by the way.

the way. Yeah. I need a fridge everywhere. We made sure to bring some with us. Of course, I've got mixed berry for my girl turd. Thank you so much. That's her favorite. And I will be sipping on a pineapple mango splash refresher. So meet the water beverage that loves self-care as much as you do. While hydration might be mandatory, being boring is not. And splash refresher, it makes hydration deliciously easy.

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I hadn't heard of Splash Refresher until they sent some to the studio to sponsor the toast. And I had like six in the first day that they came. I was obsessed with them. And then I didn't really care to check. But then when I found out they were zero calories and zero sugar, I was really shook. Like that's so crazy. They taste so good. I have such a hard time drinking water. And what's so annoying is like,

Everything everybody's told me my whole life about drinking water is true. Like when I get headaches, like it's really the only thing that helps. It really helps with that like midday fatigue. It just helps you really like overall feel better, but it's so hard sometimes. Like it's just sometimes not an option. And I love splash refresher. You've got to make drinking water fun. You've got to make drinking water fun. Plain water really just tastes like the color beige. No matter how hard you try, I'm always just like a little bit dehydrated. And ever since splash refresher came into my life,

I'm always stocked at the studio. Jackie has a ton in her garage. I have always at my house. It's just really good to have around and their fruit freshening flavors really cannot be beat. So they come in five craveable flavors. Um, they're really going to satisfy your hydration. So the flavors are wild berry, acai, grape, pineapple, mango, lemon, and Mandarin orange. Everybody knows wild berry is my absolute favorite. Um, I feel like your husband's also obsessed with splash refresher. And I think he's like a pineapple mango girl. Like he likes them all. Like

Like he's just happy to have them in the garage. He's a non-denominational splash for refreshers, swirly. It's true. He's not as picky as us. They are delicious. They are bright. They are flavorful, hydrating, and of course, zero calories. So if you are someone who also really struggles to like stay in the hydrating game, it's so boring. It's so tasteless. And like, honestly, it's sometimes gross.

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Okay, are you ready for Dear Toasters? I am. The submissions were so funny today, okay? Okay. So Dear Toasters is our weekly advice segment where if you guys want to write in, please, we would absolutely love to hear from you. Deartoasters at gmail.com is an email account that you can submit anonymously to. Also, you can go to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. Scroll down a little bit. There's a little submission box that says Dear Toasters, totally anonymous. Write in about anything you're going through. We would love to help, okay? Okay.

Oh, she wrote her name. I'm not saying her name.

Act like it didn't happen because there's a chance he didn't hear it. Also with voice memos, like when, once they play it, then it like disappears. So if you had the chance to unsend it, like you might've got it in under the wire, even if he heard it and listened to it, like you could have been doing so many things. Like you couldn't drop something in the pool. Yeah. Dropping your kids off.

I feel like sometimes. Deny till you die. And if he has the audacity to even suggest that was something that you did. No. What are you crazy? Gaslight the fuck out of it. What? I never did that. There's no proof. Also, wait. Also, I feel like sometimes when somebody leaves you a voicemail or a voice memo that's clearly an accident. You listen for like the first four seconds and then it's clearly an accident so you're not going to listen for three minutes of silence. But like if your crush sent you something, I don't think you would like.

Pass up the and then you realize it's an accident. You want to hear what it's a guy. It's a guy like yeah, if a girl actually got an accidental voice memo from her crush, she would dissect it for three years with all of her friends being like, did you hear a girl in the background? She did that keep so fast. So by the way, I'm really suspicious of people who keep my voice memos. I don't know. I feel like they love me. It's keeping a voicemail. I only send a voice memo when it's like salacious. And let me say this. Nobody uses the voice memo feature more than my friends who are influencers like Shannon Ford.

dies for a voice memo. Remy Bader, voice memo. Tinks, voice memo. Like all the swirlies. And it's always when we're like gossiping, right? So it's always a kind of sensitive information. And when people keep it, I literally called Remy out. I'm like, bitch, stop keeping my voice memo. She's like, my phone automatically does it. Like I don't know how to turn it off. I don't know. I felt very uneasy about it. Well, that's just something you need to realize. When I send a voice memo, it's just because I do not trust people

Talk to text to relay the information I need to relay. And like my thought isn't so cohesive and coherent that I just need to get in all my ums, likes and ands. Yeah. I send it mostly when like I can't write the whole thing out and I don't want to talk to you via FaceTime. Yeah. Yeah. But no, I had nothing that it's because like.

I wouldn't want someone to hear this. Oh, that's for me too though. Like if I don't want to, if something's like really kind of crazy to put in writing. Or I'll voice memo you if I don't want to FaceTime you. They could keep it. They could, but I trust my faves.

trust your faves trust your faves okay so for this girl like I honestly feel like that's horrible I'm so sorry that happened to you but I think it's more likely than not that he didn't like listen to it in full and didn't dissect the plops like I think you're completely fine and if he's still talking to you then either he heard it and he didn't mind or he didn't hear it just move on as if it never happened I would really like to know like how like in a technical standpoint you did that like leaves their

scrolling on your phone like when you're making a poop so like wouldn't you just be like scrolling right and like who would leave open such a sensitive chat like I wouldn't go in there for anything it's true you know that you just like willy-nilly I mean that's I don't want to judge you but of course but this as always like we must take a lesson we must extrapolate a lesson yeah and it's just like you were saying at the top of the show like you have to recognize your role in it too yeah it's so true you can't bear no responsibility in every situation in life but it's you already feel bad I'm just saying like who's

Who just like tosses their phone open with their crush. No, it's really crazy. That's like being on their Instagram, their ex's Instagram page. And just like throwing your phone around. Back in like 2016 and not taking such care. Mm-hmm. Okay, next up. Hey, girlies. Gay Toaster here. I, 24, have a dilemma about my boyfriend, 28, of six months, whom I adore very, very much. He doesn't like me.

He does stand up for fun at small local venues in the city almost every other weekend. And as a good boyfriend, I always attend. There's one problem. He is not funny, like at all. His stories are so long and pointless and it's just horrible crowd work and oftentimes is laughing the hardest in the room at his own jokes. Even my friends who have come with me have told me that he was awful. He's been doing it as a hobby since before COVID and I'm so shocked that no one has ever told him about his lack of humor. Am I the asshole for giving him critiques or recommending...

Or recommendations as someone with no background in comedy. Should I just keep lying and agreeing with him when he tells me how happy he is that he crushed his set this weekend? I love him dearly, but if I have to sit through another painful set, like, I will seriously lose my mind. Love ya. Bye. That's hard. So, if you love your relationship, I would suggest not being the one to tell him that he's not good. Like, first of all, he's having fun. As long as he's, like, working and bringing in an income and is able to, like... Separately.

pay for his life like if he wants to do this as a hobby on the side that's his time that's fine I think you should try and find a way to go to less shows because you're not enjoying yourself and like you don't have to go to every single show you just don't and at some point like some comedy club owner or someone is going to tell him that he does not have what it takes the world is a cruel cruel place like also like

non-funny comedians have success all the time. It's so true. You never know what could happen. I would not be the one to stand in front of him in his dreams because he'll always like blame you for it. Whereas like, it's not going to work out probably regardless. And if it does work out like great, Hey, it worked out. Yeah. I also feel like I would, I would change your attitude a little bit. Like obviously it's cringe, right? And like, it's easy to just automatically press the cringe button. Like I hate this, but you know, stand up is so hard. It really takes like such bravery and like balls to do it. And I feel like

you could look at this like a little differently. Obviously for you it's unfortunate that you have to like spend your weekends at these comedy clubs like really like with your butthole clenching. I'm really sorry that that's happened to you. But you should also like look at your boyfriend and be like listen he like loves something so much and want to do it so badly and like have a dream and not give up on it. Those are actually really admirable qualities. So while you're not enjoying yourself in the moment I think maybe

you could change your perspective just a little bit and being like, oh my God, my boyfriend is so dedicated. Like, I don't know, you could shift your perspective. There is something like very endearing about this. Yeah. The fact that he's like laughing the hardest at himself. No, like the confidence.

it as a hobby like you don't have to be an expert at all of your hobbies yeah I also think like a healthy dose of honesty like is important like if you if you want if you are gonna have to keep going like I feel like you should be like listen that part of this joke like wasn't good but you did really good at this other one maybe expand on that really now you want to start workshopping instead and like really getting involved here I don't know how though he stops going

Like if your boy, like you. I'm sorry. Even if the comedian is hysterical, like that someone should spend all of their free time, like going and watching you do stand up and seeing the same show over and over again. You think Ben wrote the same?

- No. - Did it occur to you? - It did not occur to me 'cause you're not on tour. Like otherwise are we going through submissions from 2018? - So true. No, I feel like this is obviously unfortunate. You can and should stop going. - I think it's so fair for you to not go. That's insane to go and see every show. Well, I guess Ben comes to every show. But Ben didn't come to every DJT. - Nobody did come to every NLOG. But that was because Spritz was being sold and it was literally a work thing for him. - Listen. - No, listen, we're not the same.

With this guy, I actually, Jackie's 100% right. Like if you're the thing that stops him, even if he's never going to make it, like to have a hobby and something you're passionate about, like it's actually really healthy. And like as far as hobbies go and vices, like this is so healthy and good and cute. No, it's cute. And like he's, I don't know. I find his confidence really admirable. Like if he was doing intramural soccer, but he stunk, like you wouldn't have to sit down with him and be like, you are not good enough. Right, no, because like soccer is like socially acceptable as a hobby. But you know what? Like maybe comedy should be too.

And someone will let him know along the way. Someone will let him know along the way. And it doesn't have to be you. Okay, our third and final one is a little technology, you know, snooping type of situation. Like, where are his parents? Like, that's something his parents need to sit down and tell him. Yeah, but then he would just be like, oh, my parents. Like, this is my dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, classic stuff. All right, our third and final submission. Hello, Swirlies. I'm a mid-test toaster here dying from FOMO from Jizz now.

Anyways, I'm in need of some advice. I was snooping my boyfriend's Apple Watch, not because I think he's doing anything nefarious, but because I think I may be getting engaged soon. And I saw a text from his cousin asking how we were and if he was thinking about proposing soon, or if I quote, still needed to work on my work ethic.

Something along those lines. I'm shocked by this because my work ethic is something I'm actually really proud of, so I have no idea where this could be coming from. Do I admit I was snooping so I can bring this up to him? Am I wrong for being mad that he may say negative things about me to my family? Help, please. I'm desperate. No, don't bring this up. What situation?

That's such a random complaint. That's such a random thing. But now I'm actually thinking like, okay, so your work ethic is something that you're proud of. Are you focusing too much on work? Oh my God. By the way, Jackie's right. Flip the script. Like not that you don't have a good work ethic, but that like all you care about is work. Like how are you going to, if he wants to propose and like get married and have kids, like is your work ethic going to come in the way? Because like you're going to put your career first. I didn't even see it that way. That's obviously it. Right. It's just a weird, men are so dumb. That's like a bad way to phrase the question. Yeah. But,

I would say like, have you spoken to her about her work obsession? Like that's a normal way to say it. Don't use the word obsession. Yeah. Her workaholicism. Like, I don't know. There's just a better way to phrase it. Yeah. But like, it's not factually inaccurate. So I don't think he's saying like you have a bad work ethic and I'm just going to rule that out. And if that is the case, but you don't have a bad work ethic, objection overruled, like this person doesn't know what they're talking about. And you were snooping. You have, you have no ground. Um, but maybe you could bring this up in an organic way where in talking about the future and like if slow,

slowing down is something that you had planned to do. Maybe let him know that because maybe he's concerned that you wouldn't. Yeah. If you're talking about your future, like this is something you can bring up without making it obvious that you snooped. Yeah. Or you could be like, oh, work was such a bitch today. It's like, can you stay at home mom? Yeah.

Yeah. No, I think like a lot of people when they're also like not to say that you do need to slow down and you know, if you want to work and work is your number one priority, then that's great. But you should also make that clear to him. If he expects something different in a wife and a mother, because you guys are just going to butt heads and might as well get ahead of it.

This is what like people who are getting engaged. These are conversations you have like to get on the same page. Like some people are both on the same page, but like neither of them want to stop working. Some of them, you don't want one parent at home, whether it's the mom or the dad. Traditionally, it's like more so the mom, but these are conversations that you have like about the future when you're getting engaged to someone. So you actually probably like for the sake of your relationship should get clarity on this. Cause I think sometimes it's actually like,

It's kind of like a deal breaker for a lot of people where you're like, it's absolutely important to me to be at home with my kids at all times. A husband sees that as not an option or lazy or not willing to be a soul. Like Maria from Love Is Mine UK. It's giving Maria and Tom from Love Is Mine UK. Yeah. But then sometimes the opposite happens where...

like doesn't want to stop working and doesn't want to like, but he's like, we need someone at home with our kids, but their career on the back burner. And a husband didn't see that as what he wanted for his wife and his family life. So yeah, getting on the same page about that is really important. But I also think it is something that even at the outset of the conversation, if you're not totally on the same page about like things just naturally change over time. And like the way you're going to feel when you're a mom, like you could say, this is how I think I'm going to feel, but the way you're going to feel, you don't even know.

even know. Yeah, I think that happens. Like a lot of my friends who are having kids like who either wanted to stay at home and are like are hating it or who had to go back to work and like hate that too. Yeah, I think a lot of times like you make the what you think you wanted is actually the opposite of what you want. Like I was just talking to my friend who's like who gave up her career to be a mom and like

hating every minute of it. Yeah. And I think that the best way to go, to go into those conversations and also just to approach the situation in general is to be open and be like, I'm open to the idea that I'll have a baby and I'll go back to work because that's what I'm going to want to do. I'm open to the idea of part-time work. I'm open to the idea of staying at home. If you are open to those things, but like you should, because you don't even know how you're going to feel. And if you're not even engaged yet, like it is kind of far off. So like, don't,

Put the cart ahead of the horse. Yeah but have this conversation like one because you should and two like then you'll solve your Apple Watch problem. And also like if you do want to get engaged and married and have his babies then like just so he knows like you're down. What the vibe is. You're down for that. Yeah she's down. But if you're not then he should know that you're not because what are the two of you doing?

Correct. Is this a big time waster? Let's get to the crux of it. Yeah, for the both of you. Is he going to be like... Let's get down to the heart of the matter. Waiting for you at home every day with an apron to get back in the kitchen. And then you're working double duty, working a full-time job, and then you have to go and do all the wifely and motherly duties that you like...

You can't do all of them. That's what we're saying. You can't do it all. If you have written into Dear Toasters in recent history and we gave you advice and there was an update in your situation, we'd love to receive updates. So you can, again, email us, deartoasters at gmail.com or head over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. You can submit updates, new submissions. We would love to hear from you. Anything work-related, relationship-related. We'd love to just help a swirly in need. So thank you to everyone who wrote in and was vulnerable. An S-I-N. Anyone who's vulnerable with us, we really appreciate your transparency. And...

Like as we predicted at the top of the show, great show. - Parjilish. - Parjilish. - On all counts. - So much for listening to the Toast on Monday morning show where we deliver the fast time stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. We watch you on YouTube. Please subscribe and give us a thumbs up. - And Liz Nalafi. - We're also giving, we're also available as a podcast. What does that mean again? - Nice long one for you. - Anyway, podcast, we bounce outside of our agency. - Should we call it a Parjilish Nalafi show? - If we want no one to listen, yeah, we should. I forget where I was.

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