Despite the convenience of dating apps, young people in America are lonelier than ever because the search for long-term relationships has become commodified and detached, leading to shallow interactions and a lack of genuine connection. Researcher Niobe Way calls this a 'crisis of connection.'
Modern romantic love originated during the Romanticism movement in Europe, particularly in the late 1700s in Jena, Germany. This movement emphasized individualism, emotional experience, and the liberation of the self, which laid the foundation for contemporary ideas of love.
Karoline Schlegel was a central figure in the Romanticism movement in Jena, Germany. She was a fiercely independent intellectual who organized discussions and debates that shaped Romanticism. Her ideas about the self and freedom influenced the movement, though she has not received the recognition she deserved until recently.
The four facets of the romantic ideal are: 1) Love conquers all, 2) Soulmate, one and only, 3) Love at first sight, and 4) Idealization of the partner. These ideals are often perpetuated by media and shape our expectations of relationships.
Dating apps evolved from early platforms like Grindr, which allowed LGBTQ+ individuals to connect safely, to mainstream apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble. These apps have made dating more accessible but have also contributed to a sense of disconnection and loneliness due to their hyper-individualistic and market-driven nature.
Dating apps profit by gathering user data, which they sell to advertisers or use to attract investors. Their economic incentive is to keep users engaged on the platform rather than helping them find meaningful connections, as their revenue depends on continuous user activity.
The paradox of choice refers to the overwhelming number of options on dating apps, which can lead to indecision and dissatisfaction. Users may feel that there is always a better match out there, making it difficult to commit to one person and form meaningful connections.
How did love – this thing that's supposed to be beautiful, magical, transformative – turn into a neverending slog? We went searching for answers, and we found them in surprising places. On today's show: a time-hopping, philosophical journey into the origins of modern love. (This episode first ran as Love, Throughline)
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