WCN Presents: [Dara] SWW Season 11, Episode 11 Update
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Season eleven, episode eleven of something was wrong entitled dara very sorry first aid on march seventeen, twenty twenty two. The episode pointed tly shared doras account of a horrific sexual assault SHE experienced while on her spring break seeing your trip. However, her headache did not end there, though years later, after dara had become a mother and began to cultivate her own healing journey, her sister experienced a similar trauma.

From that moment on, dara was compelled to share their stories and hopes of changing the criminal justice landscape for future survivors. Although something was wrong was the first public space SHE shared, her efforts have not slow down at all. The broken cycle media team is incredibly grateful for doras time, energy, legislative efforts and for sharing with our audience all that come next to her to change the statue of limitations for inDiana survivors of sexual assault.

On something was wrong two thousand eleven, episode eleven, I was dara to, I used that name for a famous swimmer because I was a competitive nally rank swimmer for most of my summer career. That was a big part of my life in my identity for a long time. But I wanted to be million big summer someday.

That didn't turn out. I had one idea who I wanted to be in that change. I blew my shoulders out, and I put on this path of self destruction in a way of trying to figure out who I was.

I was sexy, assaulted by a group of my peers, people that I grew with, that I knew for a long time that shook me to the core and really broke me down. What IT happened to me at eighteen years old? I kind of thought that no one cared when I came home and share what happened to me with a dear friend of ours.

He went my parents and told them because I couldn't add of the words. I remember when I came home, my dad went right to me and put his arms around me and said, I love you. I love you.

I love you over and over. And that's the thing that sticks in my head. Would try to prosecute IT didn't work out.

And I felt like I was brush under the red. We didn't talk about IT. I wasn't able talk about IT with my brothers, and I just felt alone.

I went one way and became a very destructive person. That was the path that I LED a lot of drinking and doing things that were productive to me. I didn't have people rilling behind at that point, but there were people along the way that really spoke to me.

An example would be the same. SHE was my tutor. I'd be out of a party and SHE call me like i'm just checking on you.

Are you doing okay? And like i'm trying to have fun. I don't want to deal with what you're talking about.

She's just want, you know, that god loves you and I love you. I'm here for you. So it's just little things along the way.

It's like one person here or that one person here IT wasn't a flood of people that we're like. This happened to you. We're here for you. IT was a lot of dark moments along the way, and and there was a little light.

I can look back and see that I am so grateful for all of these small moments, because now they're really big moments, navigating that healing process. Becoming a mother of my children and a little girl really changed that direction of my life. If i'm gonna be a strong, healthy mother to a daughter, I really need to see killing the statistics on same sex children that can go to the same things their parents went through, like sexual saw trauma.

Then you've got that cycle in my family. That statistic is correct. IT looks generational.

So when I had my daughter, I was like, good enough is enough, more not suffering this anymore. It's going to end with us. I realized that I really need be a strong role model for my daughter.

And then just when I thought things were getting Better, lightning struck twice. And my sister was brave. At thirteen years old, when I got the phone call, I rushed home.

I brought my parents and to talk to my sister and my dad again. He just cut, saying, I love you. I love you. I love you. In inDiana, the only difference with the file, three and a family, one and two sexual salt, is that without a deadly weapon, I think that a lot of sexual assaults are without a deadly weapon. I don't think you need a weapon to harm, and that can be horrific.

In inDiana, just because he doesn't have a weapon, you only have five years to seek justice and bring that case to the forefront of our justice system. I knew that if he wanted to bring a case to call that, that time was closing in, I would like to say that i'm really good player, but that is just not the case. Kind of a wing at person and I go full force.

Sometimes that really benefits me, and sometimes that doesn't. I have to regroup and then reorganize myself and plan. But we were like, let's change this lot for so many men and women out there.

I wanted to make sure that they had a voice when they were ready. So we started to go to work. I shared my story on something was wrong.

I think it's absolutely healing. It's terrifying. But what was worse for me? As if I didn't do IT, I knew the ramifications.

If I didn't do IT, I knew that I wouldn't be advocating for my r or for other people. I phoned in on the goal. So the podcast was a great way to start.

I think it's an intimate way to share. You have that person on other line ready to be there with you in that moment and share that space with you. I just cut out the noise in my head of how scared I was.

I don't know that from being a swimming before your race, you feel like you're going to throw up and you have butterflies in college journalist, it's nerve racking. But the minute you get out there and dive off the block, it's gone. I felt kind of the same thing.

My nerves were there. But once you start talking, IT does get Better and goes away. And then I was grateful that I did IT. And then once I click share and post was like, cause nothing.

Now everyone's gna know that was little narrows king, because I think in that back on my head, I was like, what are people going to think? What's a talk from my class onna be like, what are they going to say about me? Of course, all of those thoughts on your head, I was tried to not think about that, and I try to keep my head down and focus on what the goal was.

The episode aired. We did some interviews with media. We did our petition. I reached out to a local mayor. I said, I would love some advice.

Can we meet? I had all these statistics, all these number are showing her why this is important, that indian is the top four in the country for highest rates of sexual saw among high schoolers, SHE said. They're not responding to you because it's just you.

And I was like, OK, what do I need to do? I had this paper that was from inDiana coalition of sexual sault human trafficking. And she's like, you need this group they should be able to love. You need to talk to them.

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A local mayor, SHE, got on the phone, got me the director. I got connected with her and met with her. SHE was bracing me for this journey because I was like, we're going to do this.

Be great. And she's like, that's all awesome, but this stuff takes time. So I was a little than even the process.

But once we got, that's why the director of the coalition behind us, SHE, started lobbing. Then I connected with our local senators, our local representatives that were in my jurisdiction. I think they were little where at first, but IT seems that gave him all information.

We start running with that. And IT just seems like we started to getting more and more amenable. I was really proud of IT because our senator, or to really hard with IT.

First, he called me instead, are you sitting down? And I was like, do I need to? The first step is where they go behind their committee. And they talk about bills here to our bill, build one fifty one we originally had on the bill, sexual salt thousand three. Then we were able to add child molestation on that as well.

I think there's fourteen states that either don't have a statuary limitation for sexual salt felling three and tram molestation or it's an extended period like it's thirty years or something. And they accepted IT. I said, okay, we'll put IT in a committee.

So either goes in the house side of the senate side, our senator authority, they went to the criminal committee, and in inside they gave IT a hearing. I think I met with as many senators that I could to bring awareness. So once they won for hearing, they knew our story and why we are passionate about this.

You sit down, talk to me here with them. You don't, anna, take too much of their time, but enough time to get to the point. So you core things quickly, but you want to share your passionate, why it's important.

We had some really good feedback from the senators. There was one particular that I didn't get to meet with, but I heard that SHE was maybe for this or not for this for different reasons. I saw that her husband was a doctor.

So I was like she's only one I had a reached out to. I don't know which way she's going to go. I think they're really cool part.

When we went to the committee, they said we do need some people to share the testimony. And so of course, I call my mom and and like, are right, mom, you need to do your testimony. I need you to speak because she's a physician.

And I was trying to get people that can connect in a way. And I was like, my mom can connect with her. She's a mother.

She's a wife. She's a physician. SHE can talk on the clinical side. SHE can talk on all these ways that maybe this person just need some clarity so that you can see why this is a good thing to get behind.

My momma test venue was a very powerful SHE spoke about herself and her being a victim as well. He is very successful children in different ways. And SHE came from a very hard homelife.

SHE became a physician and he said, sometimes the cards were dealt t aren't great, like what you do with them can be impacted. We went through that and IT was such an amazing experience to share our test money. How people listening? My mom spoke.

I set up there and spoke. My children went the hearing. I didn't share all the details because they can.

I just told more, fighting for people, for their voice, since the right thing to do. If they want more details as they get older, that's fine. But at this days later, see to know what happened and why we're doing, what we're doing.

I just try to encourage them to have that open door and there for them, and that they can talk to me. My dad was there too, and my dad was there crying as an adult. Now, after all this has happened, we're on this side of things working on change.

And I feel like it's easier to talk about IT. Their heart was broken. Having two daughters go through this, I believe they are very proud of us and that they would do anything for us.

It's nice to have that communication and that support. I got my sister's permission to share her story. He was there at the hearing, sitting right behind me. So she's is part of this journey to the whole thing and she's very supportive.

I know at times I checked in with her am like, how are you doing? I know i'm pushing full force, but I do have to remember that they are feelings that come on waves sometimes. And so we're all in different past, in different journeys, in our timelines.

I'm so proud of she's amazing on lady. I just check in with her from time to time. And i'm like, how are you doing? How is making feel? And she's like, i'm doing well this kind of a lot, but i'm doing well.

We've talked about things they share about the bill. Different updates come up. He said something about my superhero sister, so obviously that can make me cry. Her saying that really meant a lot to me.

Hopefully this will encourage her in different aspects of her life, when to stay up and fight with a gentleman that talked about his assault from his sister. And that was very powerful. We had some prosecute, speak on our behalf, and we had the doctor of inDiana sexual salt coalition, SHE, stood up and spoke.

And I go back and look at that video. SHE stood up behind me. I am, I know he was there, but he was touching my back and he never left my side.

We made shirts that said, here, my and me, that comes from a bible verse, I S six eight. And says, then I heard the voice of the lord saying, whom shall I send and he will go for us. And I said, here am I send me.

So we all wear shirts that represented about really just voice for survivors that we are sending up for them, and hopefully they'll come for in the future. But IT went through the committee unanimously. Everyone voted yes to send IT through.

I think IT was after the first committee hearing. We are just so excited, and we have been reaching out to different people just to get traction and show what we're doing on this issue. And so a group of us went to a really nice restaurant, had a bar in their i've got a pictures with the owners.

You go to the bar and you start talking to different people. And of course, we're sharing IT. People are coming up to us.

They're like i'm an attorney or i've been in the center for a long time. I love what you're doing because they're just over hearing. And we were just really excited about IT.

Of course, everyone on the bar is signing the petition and there's a gentlemen that walks behind me from what my mom said. He stood there for a little bit and then walks around and sits at the bar. And I didn't even notice any of this.

But then all the set, I look up across the bar and I see this man and I knew who he was exactly. IT was one of the people that were involved in my assault. He was the one that recorded IT.

He didn't do with other people dead, but he recorded the whole thing. I've run into him a couple of times. But this was really crazy.

We're here sharing what we're trying to do about this assault that happened and bring awareness. And the person that helped make that happen was sitting right in front of me. So I just felt at that moment to walk over there.

My mom was like, what are you gonna do? And I said, I think i'm going to go over there and talk to him. And so I walked around and I patted him on the shoulder.

He turned around and he knew who I was. I had my shirt on. I wanted him to see what we are doing.

And so I just shared that we are working on this. Bill IT just passed through the committee today. We're sharing our petition.

I look forward to changing the statute limitations for sexual assault. And I was able to look at him in the face and share that. And that was powerful to me, and he said, I know i've been watching.

I'm sorry about your sister as crazy as a sounds. I was respectful. I didn't want to come at him in an attacking way because we are around a lot of people and we're bringing traction and awareness to this very important issue.

I didn't want my motions to a distract from what we are doing, if I would, to freak out in that moment and caused a scene, even if IT was right for me to do that, that could also be away for someone else. Shed bad light on what we are doing, and I didn't want to destruct from that. I do believe in justice and doing the right thing as a human being.

I looked at him and there was a lot of heaviness. Whether that's on what he did or not, I have no idea, but my heart kind of wept for him. I didn't know what to do with that, but i'm glad that he sees what we're doing because I deserve justice to I don't know how that was orchestrate or how that all lined, but I don't necessarily think that was a coincidence.

In a way for my healing, IT gave me a little bit of confidence to keep moving forward and believe what we're doing that gave me some closure. But to also know that you can be a human being and also seek justice for yourself, I think that that freed me from all of the anger and pain that I was holding on to, because I can't go to them and say, I need you to say you're sorry. I mean, that I may never get that. I just was grateful that I was able to confront ham that to me as powerful IT did push me for a little bit to keep moving forward and fighting further people.

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So that passed through the committee unanimously that I went to false in the floor. That was amazing. Be a part of we had a lot of senators set up and fight for us.

And for this cause, we had one senator particularly that stood up and said he had been fighting his whole career for this. And IT was an honor for him to stand up. We had thirty five plus authors in the bill to pass unanimously on the senate floor.

That was awesome. deceive. When this happened to me, I felt like nobody was listening to me.

Nobody wanted to hear what happened. My evidence was thrown away. I was discarded. And so when you stand up and actually fight for yourself, and then to see other people rally behind you and fighting for as well, I thought that was pretty powerful.

I was an other healing process for me to see that I had a little bit of that validation that I deserved a long time ago. The senate that's been working really hard to get this done met with me, and he gave me this picture. He had every senator that signed a bill, signed IT, and they wrote really sweet things like, great job, were so proud of you, great to be part of this.

That was really sweet that he took the time to do that and recognize our efforts. We made history. There has not been a senate bill, and history is successful going through the whole process.

Unionists, sly, that definitely sky rock at us into sharing our story on different news stations. We had some people really excited about that. You want to hear more about IT going on.

Fox betwen nine news was really cool. The experience was fine to be in the Green room and then walk through. That was the fun thing to be behind the scenes.

They put your microphone on. And then when he said we're going to go live, I was like, oh my god, it's nerve racking. But then there there to help you, you know what? They're gonna and then you just share your heart.

I think that the my thing the whole time is just sharing my heart and my love and compassion for others that have been through this situation once I start talking the nerves when away. So now I want to go talk as much as possible because if that's the avenue to get to our goal, then it's an absolute honor to do IT. The bill passed unanimously on the senate floor that I would follow to the outside and go through that process again.

The outside IT did stop. IT did not get a hearing in the criminal committee on the outside. That was really upsetting.

We reached out to different people on the hill side to meet with them. At first, they said they wanted to go through the safety committee in the summer. The safety committee goes over these deals, and that goes to the summer committee.

IT can keep the same name, the same senate number. I like keeping that because we had such good moments on the name of that bill and bill one thirty one. And a lot of people behind IT, I think that IT helps keeping the name and keeping the flow going instead of the halting IT in killing IT.

And then we have to start a worthy over with a new bill. We did get word that they weren't onna hear in summer committee. That was a tough phone call for me because I think you put so much into what you're doing and you're putting everything out there, you know you're doing the right thing.

And to hear that such an important bill for our state and for other survivors, hopefully nationwide, was halted and stopped, was fairly hard to hear. I had a little pitty party for five, three weeks. I was the middle of writing on a book proposal, and I just couldn't get passed that I wasn't past.

But then after I met with a senator, that author or bill, and has been rilling for us, he let me know, hopefully that will go through the summer committee. It's not dead yet. Still life, I believe, going go all the way through some really encouraged.

I think that we're on the right track. We're going to keep moving forward. Obviously, i'm not going to give up. I cannot wait until or in the driver's office with that signature already bought me Victory dress. Those are important things, right?

I'm really excited to share this and see what our next step is once it's accomplish and we move on across the country and hopefully we'll see what happens, what else unfolds. I go through sports wide emails as many people as I can like you, and stick on our bus who's gna purchase up the hill is many people that we can get behind us. I think it's helpful.

Do you have sites on a federal bill?

At some point, I would love federal bill. I haven't playing that out yet. I know it's different, but I didn't know how to tackle state legislation either.

So I know I can learn. It's hard for me because I have this rebellious personality of i'm gonna do whatever I want to do. If it's the right thing to do, i'm going to do that. But i'm trying to learn wisdom, being respectful to the process and how they do things so that they're .

willing to listen. Reliable, I knew you were punk rock. I knew that I just wanted to say how much a joy IT brought me and how much pride I felt.

Getting the updates from dara in real time, seeing them with their matching shirts on, getting to watch the live stream and hear them giving their testimony. She's such an incredible example of taking something that is absolutely horrific. What SHE went through big capital tea trauma examination point and continues to push forward, continues to advocate for others.

When you watch these hearings and things, you can see lawmakers faces changing and hearts softening and people coming around. A lot of times, people feel like they can't make a difference. They can't make an impact of this kind.

Dara has channel that into this. So many survivors that I, me, who have been able to reconstruct their trauma, almost reconfigure IT into passion and purpose and helping other people IT is a part of the healing for me. Doing the work in getting to see you do that.

It's inspiring to me. IT made me want to get more involved legislatively. IT makes me want to reach out to my senators more.

I was so inspired seeing you reading your statements and seeing you guys on the live streams. S you persisted and didn't take no for answer. And now look what you've accomplish. And I think it's just a good reminder to all of us that sometimes all you need is passionate persistence.

I definitely agree with that. I was listening to a survivor. SHE had something happened to her that was different than what happened to us, SHE said. When people have passion and a purpose, they can survive anything.

I heard that in the midst of all this now is like, that is so true when you do a passion and purpose, I think anyone can do this. I mean, on a silly know, I almost in graduate high school because I was such a rebellious kid and never went to class. My senior year, the only class I had to pass was my government class.

I didn't go to class very often. And pride do a lot of things. I went, suppose you and my teacher SHE toed world history and U.

S. history. I was like, i'm going going to get this test on and i'll going to do.

I graduate. I grabs the final, got IT done. And I was like, they have pigs.

I don't remember hearing that. And well, I can go to school very much. So I gave IT to and he goes, you took the wrong final.

You took the U. S. History, final year and world history. So I mean, if I can do this, anyone can do.

I think it's just when you meet with your representatives, ask questions. I think i've learned a lot that when the door closes, we find another door and we find another door. You keep advocating.

We are really working hard and pushing to let survivors know that we are fighting for them. When I get phone calls or text messages, people reaching out that this happened to them IT almost haunts me at night, those times where I can sleep. I want to keep moving forward because I know that there are people out there that need to know that their voice matters, that they do matter in this life.

I hope that they see what we're doing and that you can overcome hard things. You can stand and fight for yourself and see killing. You can have a great life.

Your purpose can be endless. You fight for yourself. I think a lot of trauma victims or survivors struggle with suicide, and I did as well.

There was appeared to time where I was a suicidal. And I share that because I don't want anyone ever to give up when a door shut or an opportunity to shut. Just keep trying, try another avenue, ask for help or ask another opinion, or keep bugging people. Thankfully, when I say that, these survivor stories hat me, it's because I don't want to leave one person behind if there's one person that thinks there alone.

I don't want to forget of autumn if it's one person that says, I know you're going through this, we're fighting for this and then they see that and they don't take their life or they get healing to be the mother that they want to be, or the sister or the brother, and get their passion back for their life, because destined for a great life. That's what haunts me, is that I not find that one person that needed to hear that people that reach out, that we're just sexually assaulted or just realizing that they need help or healing. I remember the beginning of that.

And IT does seem overwhelming and daunting. If you've been assaulted, or this has happened to you or happen to a love one, you find that one person that you can tell that your o'clock in the morning, person, if you don't have that reach out to someone, tell someone your local authorities. I know online there's a lot of resources.

I would look at your nearby sexual sol crisis centers or resources, but I think it's fitting to a place where you just take one step. I could be getting up that morning and brushing your teeth, and in the next day i'm gna make myself get up, brush my tea and throw in a little laundry. And then those small things over time, you start seeing that you can accomplish.

Because if you look at the big picture and goal, I have to put my test manian. I have to reach out to prosecutors. I have to do this. I have to do that. It's overwhelming.

If we look at IT like this big monster that we have to accomplish, and we try to do IT all in, in one day, you're gonna be like, I can do that, so don't do that to yourself. That's probably my best advice, is this stuff takes time. So I would say, baby steps on what you can do in that moment. I just want to healing for people so powerful.

you're strong for what you survive and brave for being able to tell IT. I don't think you'll ever even be capable to know the full extent of the positive impact that you have made. Thank you so much for being willing to do this.

Thank you so much. I thank you for your time, your energy, your legislative efforts. You're just a forced to be reckoned with.

I'm so glad the world has you in IT. You are a gift to the universe. I can't way to have you back on when it's past will have a celebratory episode.

I'd love that you have both been amazing. I'm so grateful that I can call you friend, and i'm inspired by you guys everyday. So I really appreciate everything that you guys are doing.

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. Next on what came next.

the process attorney asked me my name and what I had done the weekend before, and I was really excited to say I had just graduated from college. That was a big deal because I almost didn't make IT. I get to that point in the trial when they say, is the person who attacked you in the courtroom today? I look at him and I start breaking out and cold sweat. I know that i'm about to faint. And I think everybody in the courtroom realized that too.

to hear holy dance, I opening what came next episode entitled as long as I have my voice, and to hear from many more incredible survivors, including others, something was wrong. Former guests, please visit what came next on your preferred podcasting platform and don't forget to subscribe the broken psychometer. A team has currently curated over eighty compelling interviews with many more to come.

What came next to a broken cycle media production co produced by amy b. Chesser and Tiffany? Any race, if you'd like to help support what came next, you can leave us a positive review, support our sponsors or follow broken cycle media on instagram at broken cycle media, check out the episode notes for sources, resources and to follow our guests. Thank you again for listening.

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