WCN Presents: [Amy B. Chesler] Season 7 Update
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I actually cannot believe that this is an update that I have for you. I still am in shock that all of this happened. I had no idea when this podcast came out two months ago now that I would have IT update in my journey already.

IT has been willed to say the least, but the last month or so in my life, I have a renewed faith in the system. To be honest, IT feels wild to be saying that, but these are some wild fucking updates, and I can't wait to tell you before I continue. I do want to say thank you to Tiffany.

Any I don't know what I would have done without you these last couple months, the last month for sure, without your present there day with me, i'm just so thankful for you. So let's pick up where episode one left off, I had mentioned I had a petition going to keep my brother in prison forever just so he wouldn't get out. The parole system had been kicking in high gear.

He had a parole hearing at which he had threatened my life, my children's lives. Then he had postponed to hearing after requesting a move up north to prisons I had filed with the al system. But that death threat, this is a letter I gotten response from the prison system after I had filed against my brother for the death.

Read this, says this corresponds is informing you that the prison not going to name IT has conducted an inquiry into your concerns regarding the statement made you buy your brother in mate just when ic during his paul suitability hearing specifically we retrieve the transcript and they actually quoted as as according to the transcript, he stated, i'm going to ask some friends to come to see you then he says, my address, which I obviously won't say, is that where you still live? And then he he repeats my address. IT says, although we understand and empathy with you, what you've been through in the loss of your mother, that statement alone is not suitable and does not meet the area for a threat.

However, that is completely ignoring the fact that he was slicing his thumb, ross his throat. Full interview. And also, I believe there was an explicit threat about two sentences later. So not only did they not take my rat valid dly, they also just kind of ignored me and pushed me.

So that was where I was, that when I received the march twenty third phone call at about eight thirty in the morning, I literally woke up to a phone call informing me that my brother, Jesse, which I don't like to call him, my brother, I want to claim him. I also, for what it's worth, I used the word belongs in season seven. That was because I had just used the name rora in my book that was gonna coming out.

And I chose to do that because writing the word Jesse that many times and having to see IT was a task that was insurance table for me. So on march twenty third, i've got a call, and the call said Jessie has spots, phoned his Pearl hearing again, I about lost madam mind. First of all, I knew that I would be getting a notification at some point because twenty twenty three was when the postponement was until I don't think I would be another postponement.

I didn't think that was actually a possibility. However, that phone call, they said he has been phoned, his poor hearing. I had a meltdown.

I start crying immediately. I was like, how is this even possible? You need to give me a more information.

The poor Young girl on the phone did not have that information, so he said, i'm an opportunity. Ch, with my superior, I think within a maybe an hour. So I was speaking to her superior. He also had really nowhere to go.

He had asked me, do you have the transcript for the purl hearing? Because I explain to him, how is this possible? How is he approved? How is he controlling the whole situation when there's a death threat hanging over my head? He says, mam, he has postponed his paul hearing.

I can give you that much more information. How about I put you in touch with my supervisor as well? I absolutely said yes.

Set me up. Send me to whoever is in charge that put me in touch with the chief of victim resources for california prisons. Now at what I learn to this processes, there are factions of victim resources.

Before the inmate is sentenced, you would be getting victim resources from the jail system or the court system, and afterwards, the victim resources is specific to the prison system. So once you are a victim of an inmate in the prison system in california that could sent to the victim resources that I was in touch with on that day, the chief calls me back. This is all within one day, by the way.

I feel very blessed and thank for that. They were taking this seriously. I obviously was having a very hard time. The chief hops on the phone. She's very gentle, very kind. He said, look, I can tell you that your brother postponed his poor l hearing because he has too many charges against him currently and I said, what do you mean?

He said, well, last time you know you were there the hearing, he postponed IT because he wanted to take self help classes and try to go into his poor hearing being more suitable and I said, yeah, I heard that pallet shit he did IT right after threatening my life saying, yeah, maybe i'll take himself hoping s and get Better then SHE said this paul hearing. He actually postponed IT because he's up for new charges I said, I think I know about that a woman at the prison last time said he was up for attempted murder, and he's got a lot of charges against him right now and I said, what does that mean for me? The chief victim, resources person said, IT means that you should probably get to the bottom of what those charges are.

I see he attempted to murder somebody that is a big charge and preparing myself for everything mentally, basically at this point, thinking, I don't know if this is good. I don't know if this is bad. I don't know what happening and he said, i'm going to walk you through getting the information off of the internet.

I'm going to help you figure out what your brother's charges are exactly. Let's fear out what's happening, and let's get some more information. SHE literally SAT her on the film with me and guided me.

I didn't even know there is a website. I don't know what's public information. I'm not a lawyer.

I'm all in the system in the ways that I get reintroduction that I share on my social media. Anyway, SHE sit in there on the computer with me. He says, here, it's only four dollars.

This is how far I got. I found all his information. You just see to pay the extra four dollars, and then you get everything.

So I did, and I received a bunch information. I decide red IT with her. In the end, he says, this is the courthouse that your brother has a hearing at.

Do you see that? He says, much thirty of this is march twenty third, by the way, a week before his hearing for these attempted murder charges, which actually ended up being five charges. SHE says, this is happening in this courthouse in one week from today.

This is what you can do. You can file a police report to try to get your brother for this extra crime of the threat you can try to call the da on the case. Figure out what's happening on the thirty F.

I called the courthouse. A clerk picked up. I ask her for information.

SHE said, I can really give to you. I said, what can I find out the D. S.

Name on the case. He gave IT to me. I went to the internet. I google that da and I found his information. I had also filed a police report on march.

Tony, third, after talking to that woman, I was like, i'm going to cover my ice all the way. I didn't even know I could file a police report. I'm educating myself in the process, but that day I found a police report against my brother for the death at, and I also reach out to the D.

A. That was handling the charges against him for the attempted murder. I left him a message he didn't call me.

I ended up sending him an email as well. I sent IT from my broken cycle media email. I didn't say who I was.

I just said I want information about that case. I made IT very straight forward firm and clear. That's generally how I try to communicate. I sent that by the next day. So within twenty four hours I had heard from him.

He had said, what do you want to know about the case? Do you want something on record? And I said, no, i'm that mother. Fuck your sister. I explained the whole last sixteen years in the legal system.

I explained his death threat at the poor hearing, explained everything, and the da said to me, wow, IT sounds like we might have another set of charges against him. And I was like, what does that mean? The charges that we're being delivered were explained to me as such.

He was being given one count with five charges for attempted murder, a attack on the public official, two weapons and something else. I keep forgetting that we all live result as one strike. That is what the da eventually told me, that Jessie ended up building a medival weapon called the mace.

It's basically a ball with Spikes on a chain. He built one in prison. He also created a shank, and he attacked a correctional officer with those weapons.

And they created the big fight. Bunch of other officers got involved and got her in the process of trying to stop. My brother IT was caught on camera.

He said, well, if you can get me that transcript. And magically, by that time, the chief officer of the victim resources had gotten me the transcript for that Pearl hearing. IT was pretty mind lowing how swift everything happened for me.

Once everybody involved had that level of advocacy and intention set towards me. I had already been in contact with the D. A. And this is six days until my brother's hearing leading up to that march thirty of hearing, he actually refused to attend the other ones before he was refusing to even get on the fuck and bus to get to his hearings. Eventually they had used force to get in there.

There has to be a decree delivered to get somebody thereby force, or some order, given he had been moved up north to a prison to be near family that support him. Yes, I have family that support him. It's mind boggling to me everyday.

It's even more mind boggling because when I was reviewing the transcripts that the chief victim resources officer sent me, I noticed Jessie actually literally asked to be moved up north. They said, yeah, yeah, yeah. We probably can.

And then he said, if you don't. I'm gonna can kill somebody here. He basically said, if you keep me in the prisons, men right now, i'm going to kill somebody.

And then he attacked an officer. The fact that his victims were correctional officers also made IT. So the system wanted to work for their favor.

I know he had been in many other incidents with other inmates, and they had never seen any more consequences for that. That's another reason why I think this unfolded differently. In that week before Jesse hearing, I also sent the D A information from the transcript.

I said, hey, he actually threatened to kill somebody if they left him in this prison. He tried to kill somebody and then they moved him. He was like, thank you for the evidence.

In the week leading up to the hearing, I also turned in all the paperwork that I letters, that just, I tried to hire the hit man and created a stocking plan for this inmate that was from jail that lasted attempt four years after my mom's murder. I have those letters. I gave him everything.

He went on to say. I reviewed the evidence from the hearing, everything. There is absolutely enough evidence to go after him for the death threat.

The da made IT very clear that he was worried about getting these sentences tacked onto Jesse's crimes before his parole for my mom's murder was up again. He was worried if we couldn't put these extra crimes on him, he could be paroled LED out. Then we loose track on him.

So there was this time crunch that I felt we ever, ever meet or be able to find justice within, which was really think, because my experience is, up until then, were that the justice system was slow, chac, supportive and often didn't deliver what I needed to deliver within any sort of predictable time range. The di asks if I can come on march thirty years. Fortunately, I had my kids.

Unfortunately, I couldn't attend. IT was about an hour half drive from where I live anyway, so I was kind of a slept to do that. He said, you know, I know, worry is it's just a hearing from the hearing.

I get a text message from the da saying he wants to represent himself, which is a good thing because i'm a trained lawyer and he's a homicide maniac. He didn't want to have a lawyer. He wanted to pleaded guilty that day.

He was like, sentenced me. I wanna go to prison. I'll take all those charges you want to throw at me because I just want to get the fuck out of jail.

I want go back to son. And this is something a lot of people don't understand. But basically, when you are up for charges, you are in jail.

When you are convicted, you go to prison. Because he was up for new charges, he was moved back to jail. Jessie post should about not wanting a lawyer and just wanting get in a jail.

And the lawyer says to me after the hearing, Jessie is saying he wants to play guilty. This might be all wrapped up. We're gonna set another day.

Do you think you can come to that? And I said, yes, if that is the final date, if you think that's onna happen, I will be there. I will do my best.

He asked me, me to make a statement. I said, absolutely. So we started working towards that date, and that was April seventeen, s twenty three. I am going into IT, extremely nervous, absolutely hopeless, thinking this is just gna be some more trauma. I don't know what to expect.

The da, who at this point I had built this relationship with leading up to the wims, I would text him and I would say, oh my god, what if he has, like a killer tried to show up at the court house to kill me? What if he hired somebody? I don't know.

My mind is running wild. So I would always text him with these worries. I said, look, last time he was in jail, he tried to hire a hit man to kill me.

Can he be put in solitary confinement? Can you keep him away from other people? And he said, absolutely.

Doni on one, it's called administrative of segregation, although in jail, it's called something different. In prison it's called administrative segregation at but basically, that's how much he delivered for me. I said, can he be solitary? He said, absolutely.

He will be solitary, so he cannot hire someone to hurt you. That was really only my biggest sphere in jail. I applied to be media so I can record IT the first episode of what he knocks.

I explain for that poor hearing. I was like, oh, I wanted have someone record IT. I didn't align in time.

What is misunderstood often is that we're not legally allowed to record those hearings unless we get cleared for that. So what I tried to do was get cleared as media. I wrote on my paperwork, I only want to bring in a hand held record, something small I can hold.

I explained to the lawyer, look, I really want that because I need to protect my us. I want to have a transcript this immediately when it's over. Obviously took me two years to get the other one.

I even know I was allowed to have IT. This is madness. So I apply the next day.

The judge denies me the way IT works is that application actually goes to the judge I would be recording. The judge said, no, I had another meltdown. I was like, what the focus woman trying to keep me from.

I reached out to the da. He was so gracious and Graceful in his responses to me, which I am super thankful for. Any time I had an issue or a worry, he would always respond in some craigie when I was passed on about the media approval or disapproval.

Rather, I said to him, I like why, and he said, I don't know. I'll go talk to the judge. He went down to the judge and he pleaded with her.

He said, look, this woman has been victimized for so many years. IT took her two years to get the transport from the Pearl hearing. He just wants to cover her ass.

SHE said, no, it'll make IT a hoop law. I don't want that in my courtroom. I was pretty upset. I was like, this woman is not a lining with me. He does not want to support me.

I felt very unsupported going in the friday before the sentencing, which was on monday, my ant ant, the one that I keep in contact with, who is basically my children surrogate grandmother, in the wake of losing my mom, SHE text me and said, my other unt was gonna in town. So immediately the first thing i'm thinking is she's there to support Jessie and I start panicking. I'm thinking, oh my god, he reached out to her and told her that he's up for a death threat against me and she's not going and speak on behalf.

My mind is just running elsewhere. I tested the D A. Hey, trying to manage my expectations here, but will anybody be able to speak for juice behalf? And he said, no, nobody will have the ability to speak except the victims.

At that point, I didn't even think to ask whether the correctional officer that Jesse attack would be there. IT turned out he wasn't. The D.

A explained that the people that are attempting to add charges to the inmates, they almost never show up. So literally, the people in this courtroom almost never hear an impact statement from a victim. And that will come up later. I, after hearing that, felt a little Better about my aunt in the town.

I was thinking, well, if she's going to support, at least you'll just be sitting there then I thought, I guess this is actually almost a good thing to hear the reality that he is pleading guilty, supposedly at this point, to a death threat against me and my children. If he continues to support him after that, then that's just completely denying my entire experience. But I had you, Tiffany, you checking you were so amazing that sentencing week, literally, I could not have gotten through without you.

The person who's Normally there for me, my aunt, is experiencing something right now that is keeping her from able to do that. She's still very much in my heart and giving me support via text and calls and stuff. But he couldn't be there in a physical capacity, so I just don't know what I would have done without you to any the listeners don't realize how deep are friendship is in how much we support each other offline.

Tiffany, any lives far for me, we don't see each other physically that often as much as we talk. So for her to say, look, i'm going to drive this many hours to get to you. I'm in a book so you want to drive in the morning and deal a traffi C2Be at the thi rty hea ring.

The next morning I woke up, we went the courthouse, not knowing what to expect. IT took five minutes to get there, which was just the traffic of loan is so stressful. So you have combated cars before combating my brother.

I don't know what that mental space would have seemed like or felt like. I'm so grateful that I had that support. The search for truth never ends introducing junes journey, a hidden object mobile game with a captivating story, connect with friends, explore the roaring twice, and enjoy thrilling activities and chAllenges while support environmental causes.

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We got there and the da was just kind of a superhero I had explained to him so many fears. Reading up to this, I was literally thinking maybe his pleading guilty and taking the sentence, supposedly just to get me there because he knows i'm going to make a statement and have someone kill me. I mean, there so many things running through my, that was the worst one that I was gonna be leave in that day, and my kids wouldn't have a mom anymore.

That was literally, I thought I had to have my best friends sitting there. I'm thinking, like one of my best friend's kids are mother less because of my brothers selfish decisions. One person's actions can change so many lives.

This is what i've learned over over again in this process and their jest's s actions. I was just really scary. The da, though very much to helped me, not only in text that day, he was wonderful.

He drove us from the outside into the employee parking lot, walked us and got a security. He was just incredible. So we get there and he walks us, and he sits us in his office and he opens up his computer.

Is is like where the disconnect comes. But IT always comes. People don't get that.

If you don't get that, the da basically turns on to this computer and pulls up a file, is like, this is the video, and I was like, is at the video of justice attacking the correctional officer. H my, oh, I don't know. I don't wannsee IT.

No, thank you. And then goes, let me explain what could happen today. We didn't know Jesse was there.

Who knows if he show up? There were literally so many options coming into that day. He could have attacked me in front the bay leaf. He could have tried to get me there and then not shown up to try to exhaust me some more like he did before.

He could show up on the labus, which we'd mean he instead of eight thirty hearing, he could have a one thirty hearing, he could show up and say, i'm not pleading guilty. There are a million things that could happen. We talked about the biggest ones.

We also talked about all the charges that were being presented that day. We can charge him with a thirty six to life sentence for him if he takes that today. That is what the D.

A. Is saying to me. I'm thinking, wow, this is a very pivotal day.

But i'm also thinking, this is my brother. How is he going to fuck with me? We get to the courtroom.

We find out Jessie has gotten there. He is there. He's winning because of the way the day played out.

There are actually other prison inmates being taken care of before him. We were actually in a courthouse, four felonies. And as far as I know, I think all of the kisses being read or prison crime unit cases.

So there were other ones heard before hours. We had to watch them because we are sitting in in the courtroom. Every time an inmate would come in and out, I would hear the door open, and I would hear jse's boys sometimes.

And he was just so easy hearing that made me one of IT made me cry. There were so many poses. We did something before lunch.

We did something after lunch. All these things in the process to vi. I also sitting next each other whenever things are not in session.

We're talking a little bit quietly when everybody was up from their seats are whisper, which to increase a little bit. But otherwise we were totally listening, reading the sign that SAT right in front of us the whole time. There was a little sign at nee level behind the cordoning off from audience to the people.

In the case. There was a little sign that said, when court is in session, please don't talk. So we weren't. But what IT wasn't in session, we definitely were talking minimally and we kept getting rushed.

Even the court reporter came over at one point and was like, you guys, I need to be quiet and we like, you're not even setting IT. You're you're not typing. We are being quiet. She's like, it's a great room.

You can talk, we pointed to the sign and they basically were like, forget the sign IT was almost like a hostile area to be, especially considering I kept seen my brother and if if you went into form m mode when they the bailiff and the court report came at a full man kicked, you were like, you have treated this girl like shit. SHE is a victim. I just love you.

Here's that your bad as IT was so triggering and i'm so sorry you had to deal with that because I know what you've been going through telling your own story and how trigger ing that is, especially navigating that exchange with the police in your face and kable that despite everything going on right now, you harness that energy to do that for me again. That will mean everything to me until the day I fucked and die. The way IT played out was just, he sits down.

He has a lawyer. I said to my lawyer, I thought he had no layer. He said what? The judge doesn't want room for an appeal.

He is worried that maybe it'll come back. Oh, well, he wasn't properly represented, because represented himself, he can appeal IT. So he said, no, you have to have a lawyer.

This man will guide you. You, I didn't know how a lawyer, we gonna guide him. What if that lawyer said, I don't believe he should be pleading guilty?

I said to the d no, no, no, we have a video. He doesn't to spend extra time on this city. He doesn't have to. He will guide him logically.

Then just, he says to the judge, i'd like to plead no contest to all the charges and he said, do you understand what you're saying? I'm not going to let you plead guilty just to go back to jail like you said two weeks ago. That's not a reason you do this.

You plead no contest because you know you're guilty or that you are not contesting IT. And so he said, yes, I am pleading no contest because I know i'm guilty and I don't want to waste taxpayers money. And I am thinking in my head, okay, what's going to happen now? Where's the hit? The judge at this point then says, I don't really think I want to let you do this.

I don't know enough evidence about this case. I don't know why I wouldn't go to trial and my heart is like, what the fuck read the core documents in front of you do? But i'm sobbing like I say all those words now.

But at that point, I was a mess. The judge says to me, mam, are you his sister? And I said yes through my sobs, and he said, what are your thoughts? And I said, please, please, please let him plead.

Please let him plead. So at that point, he begins to consider actually letting him plead. They go through all the charges, the list, the fact that this does include this death threat against your sister.

They go through everything. And then they say, do you still plead guilty? They make him go through every single charge, every single count.

separately. He said, yes, I please, no contest. The judge says, okay, I will let you please guilty today and he says, great, i'm actually gna take IT all back. If my sister makes a statement, I about dam lost my mind. So he had said that to his lawyer.

I see him lean over, tell his lawyer something right after pleading guilty, then his lawyer comes and tells my lawyer, I see them talking, and I can make out their words enough. By the time that the da gets to me, I say to him, we did he just say he would plead guilty but take IT all back if I make a statement and he says, yeah and I was like, mother fucker. I knew he would do something like that.

So i'm left in this terrible spot of Younger amy being like, I knew he would do this. I knew he would do something like this. I'm thinking, oh my god, he wins again and i'm thinking of my head.

Do I lie and say i'm not gonna make a statement and then afterwards to make a statement anyway, but i'm not a fucking liar. Honesty is my number one trait that I stick to the most. So i'm thinking, I cannot do that.

And thinking, why does he went again? No, my learn. He's like, what do you wanted do? And I say, tell the judge.

The judge doesn't even know this is happening at this point. This is fucking crazy, right? Like SHE must have some feedback.

They go up to the bench. The judge says, sir, it's her legal right to make a statement. This is not signed and deliver get. But you can't say SHE can't make a statement.

SHE gets to make a statement whether you want her to or not, especially if there is a charge for a death threat against her. SHE is technically a victim on file in this situation today. So he actually fucked and ends up pleading guilty.

That was just like, uh, he has the right and he stepped down and after lunch, he ended up pleading one hundred percent guilty to all charges. Before I make my statement, just he starts swearing at me and they, sir, sir, sir, get in control. So he's only had an outburst. I start making my statement and and he starts talking over the entire thing.

Mind you, when I am reading my statement, which was pretty long chessy and his lawyer are talking through the entire thing, i'm thinking, why are they are not being pushed rather than lose my shit as I might have done as a child or as a Younger person? Just kind of was very stoic. I stopped talking whenever they were talking.

And at one point the judge said to me, mam, you can continue and I said, no, I can't. Not as long as he is talking goal points for him to listen, he can disassociate. But he may not talk over me.

He says, it's his lawyer talking. And I said, well, i'm just going to pause. If anybody y's miles are open, I will not be talked over so I did.

I kept pausing. IT took me a while to finish. I cried a fuck time, but I for the first time faced him and called him out for a letting me as a child.

I called him out for all the terror we faced. I talked about how wonderful my mom was. SHE was a tough cookie life harden her a little bit, but so many people looked to her for guidance and love. And yale SHE was a rock for a lot of people, and he took that from so many people. I talked about the petition of five thousand people that sign their names to be part of my journey.

And I do want to mention at this moment, as I was sitting there all day long, every point was hard, even in the post when I was listened to somebody else hearing, or there was nothing happening, that was where my anxiety was spiking. Because I had nowhere to focus my energies on. And so what I would do is I was sitting there.

I would read the pages of the petition and from page one, which was all the names of my dear friends and my loved ones who have been a part of this journey from the beginning, all the way to the last page that was signed the day before April seventeenth. And that sentencing IT was so impactful. Those names bed me.

I told Tiffany, I was reading those names, and that's what I was talking about most of the time. Then they were telling me, just sush. I was bashing myself with you guys, with all of your love in your support.

In my statement, I also read some comments from that petition. I didn't name anybody who shared them. I mentioned how often I feel like i'm alone, but in that day, on April seventeen, I was in, I was in no way alone.

I ended my victim impact statement by saying, what I learned through justice actions is that one person's action, one simple choice, can change so many people's trajectories, hundreds, thousands of people's trajectories, but in the same vain, the da s decision to do a little extra work for me to go out of his way, the judge's decision to hear this and let him be sentenced, not take IT to trial, that changed my life, too. All of these little decisions absolutely framed me of so much. I finished my statement was one of the hardest things i've ever done, but was freeing.

After I spoke, the judge said, third, you have anything to say and he said, yeah, my sisters, just a bitch, can't liar. She's just making all this shut up, which is funny, because I have all the s he had just played guilty to threat in my fucking in life. So what am I making up? The judge says, sir, this is not the time of the place to resolve that. There are other ways to do that and he said, yeah, I know, because if I tried to, the bail lives behind me would shoot me he basically saying, oh, the only way i'm to solve this is murder or attacking by sister. And I was thinking of doing IT right now, but those guys would hurt me, but that was that they walked him out.

I'm just going to record this in the car. Amy is not with me anymore. It's three or two P M. On monday, April seventeen, two thousand twenty three, and I. I'm so incredibly proud of amy and what he just did reading her victim impact statement.

The amount of strings and courage and tenacity and bravery that SHE displayed is one of the most profound things i've ever witnessed in my life. And i'm so thankful that his sentence was increased and certain things were put in a place there was still a lot a fucked up shit that was a loud that was not okay, particularly the behavior of this dinocap. Her in the course was absolutely unhinged.

For no reason amy was having anxiety or needed to breathe between her legs or was whispers ing a question and as dinocap, her just could not flume careless even after i'm like she's having a hard time because she's about to talk about her mom's death. Meanwhile, everybody who worked in there was talking, laughing, making jokes. Amy deserved to be supported and surrounded by every single person in that quarter room, except for the defense attorney who was appointed before the court session started.

One of the sherifs, he threatened that he was gonna kick me out of the room and told me to be calm. And I said, I am calm. And he said, okay. And then he walked away. Meanwhile, they let Jessie literally turn to amy and call her a fucking fat, ugly bitch in open court.

Then he proceeded to talk, and his defense attorney preceded to talk wall ams in the middle of reading her statement, and he stops and says, like, I ve waited sixteen years to read my statement and he's talking, and I will wait until he has done talking, because I deserve that and then the judge was like, he's not talking. His defence attorney is talking they were trying to silently her while he was just processing the trauma and then they let the vicked fucking murder talk while she's sitting there reading her impact statement about being sexually abused by him and they let that mother fucker sit there and chat with his defense attorney. What planet are you people on? Even after they heard amy statement, even after they heard everything that he had done to amy, they were still worried about the wrong shit.

Amy does the unthinkable goes and puts herself through all this fucking trauma and all this fucking bullshit. After sixteen years after SHE talks about this in open court, one of the sheriff who had already yelled at her three times for existing to loud, he comes up to us and he starts talking to me. I didn't even hear what he said, and I said, and I allowed to talk key said yes and looks irritated at me like i'm just being a sarcastic C A bitch.

And I actually wasn't I was being serious because I am scared of cops since the los Angeles county sherifs treating us like we're the fucking murderer are the same people who fucking murdered my brother. He's now standing over me while i'm in a seat and i'm like, can I talk and he says, yeah and then I start talking and the pornographer start yelling at me and i'm like, he literally just said I could talk. We're being treated like that for anxiety, whispers ing in the corner, waiting for the fucking murdered, hopefully not attack amy as he threatened to do.

And he has harmed and has tortured her for thirty fluting years now. No, no, no, no, no. They were just worried about the wrong shit.

They're worried about us whispers ing to the police officer whether or not we need a police escort to get out of the building. That's what he was asking us, by the way. That's what happens when you have to go face a murder in court who's made death threats against you, like amy decided.

So they accessibly wanted our share of ice. And then they started yelling at us. And i'm like, cornered by this, los Angeles is counting share of. And I start crying. And i'm like, please just let me out of here. I honestly, I was so pissed, I had a leave of the building, I was crying, I was so upset, I was just so mad on any half on behalf of every victim that I talk to who has experienced that kind of treatment by the system. I'm just so pissed about that.

How about hold the fucking murderer to the same standard you're holding the victim while amy is literally giving her victim impact statement? Do you think the judge ever once instructed him to shut his filthy little mouth? No, not one, not anything.

This man is sitting there with three los Angeles county y share if he surrounding him because he's such a violent and dangerous offender, and they're worry that the victim might be crying a little too late for their comfort. So sick of people who are being worried about the wrong shit. I'm so sick of victims being treated like this in our systems, and i'm so sick of seeing the people who actually want to do the right thing, like the da being surrounded by as hole, who make their job harder.

I can't tell you how many police officers live met in the last year who want to do the right thing, but that they are afraid to do the right thing. We need to not only improve our systems, or the victims, or the victim's families, for the people who are convicted falsely, we also need to do IT for the people who work in the enforcement that are trying to do the right thing because they care, because they have empathy, because they're trying to actually do their job. I've had those conversations with long enforcement where they say, I love my body cam.

I love the law. I believe in your right to free speech. There are also the people that we need to fix these systems for because they're they're trying to do the right thing, working twice as hard as the people who are doing the wrong thing, that it's not only making IT harder to get justice, it's making IT harder for the people who we actually want employed in these systems to stay.

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How where does this feel to be called someone's fiance the first time you hear IT you do a double take from there? Let's enjoy this moment turns into we're planning of wetting as where sola comes in from a venue inventer discovery tool that matches you with your dream team to save the dates, websites and an easy to use registry. Sola has everything you need to plan your wedding in one place.

Start planning at solar dot com. That's ZOL a dot com, I feel changed even though they were relatively hostile after we've finished everything and all the proceedings were over and he had gone back and they came at us again. What the d explained us, that never sees victims, that was a prison crime unit, which means that the people that are dealing with are either inmates or correctional officers.

In essence, in those are the only two people, factions of people, and either one of those are you, the victims or the perpetrators. They don't ever see victims like me. In the courtroom, the da was saying the reason why they're acting like this.

This makes a huge impact on us. We also need to hear this because there are other sites to a lot of these crimes, and we don't hear that side. So I feel like they're just not used to navigating careful relationships with victims, but they were coming out as like a whole lot of heat.

IT was really trigger ing was traumatic to see his face, to have to stand up against him. IT was really fucking traumatic to feel like he had more power in that room, was super fucking traumatic to hear him say i'm in a guilty, but if he makes a statement, I won't. If that was traumatic to have to worry about being shot every ounce of IT was traumatic.

But the moment he plead no contest, he took the sentence. That moment I walked out of that courtroom, I told the D. A. I felt instantly lighter. And IT was all because hard work he did the most he could possibly deal.

He went after him for the five charges against the correctional officer, which he received and took thirty years to life sentence for he got more for an attempted murder of a correctional officer than the actual murder of his mother. Yes, that is a fact. However, they also gave me retrospective justice, which I didn't even think was a possibility.

This is something I learned later in my process with Jessie, but Jessie was actually given a youth offender status when he killed my mom. He was twenty five years old and nine months, three months shy of the age of twenty six. Twenty six in california is the state hood at which you are an adult in terms of murder.

So if you're under twenty six year a youth offender, well, this entire time he's been Carrying this youth offenders. And that has been what's most enabled him through the parole process. In fact, when I got that transcript, literally said, sir, we are going to highly consider your youth offenders status.

So this judge in that D A on April seventeen to actually went backwards and gave my mom more justice. This is a piece that absolutely crashes me, builds me back up, fills me with hope. They went backwards and removed justice youth offender status, so he is no longer given that benefit when he goes to peul hearings.

I think that I want to share this more, not only just applaud the system working effectively, but also to give people resources and knowledge. If I can tell you, look, you can get more justice now, even though your loved ones murder sixteen years ago, even though your abuse was twenty years ago. This is something that can happen.

They also gave him six years for the death threats against me and my children, so to be heard and validated after i'd been denied from the prison, after i'd been denied from love, ones who didn't believe me to just be believed by that, D, A, and supported and told i'm gonna after him. He told me at one point, i'll care what he tries to plea. I will not take a predial from this min.

He needs to get this full sentence. And that's what he did. Then the gunch went on to deny his next spiral hearing.

He had postponed for twenty twenty five that the phone call emerge twenty third. That made me lose my mind. SHE denied the perl in that hearing on April seventeen.

S SHE basically said, so this is enough. We are not rehabilitator parole. You have all these new sentences.

So we are denying that he is no longer suitable for paul right now. I don't know how long that goes. That could be for two years.

That could be for ten years. I have, no, I need to do more homework in finding that out. So let me explain what this all means.

That sounds like a lot of numbers IT also sounds like why the fucking y up properly, still so confusing. And I didn't know what a large impact IT would be on my life until I spoke to the D A. About IT.

What he explained to me was Jessie may never be paroled for my mom's murder, especially because they removed the youth offenders status, but because these are the enter the perl system, that judge denied that parole suitability, once that perl denial is over and he's up for parole again for my mom's murder. Specifically, he may not get IT. I will make a statement, but let's just say i'm exhausted, which I am.

I'm fucking exhausted by this process. IT is traumatizing. IT is triggering IT is hard. IT is all the things. And I want freedom. And that's why just you fucked with me at the last moment because this was the last thing he could do to keep me from ultimate freedom from him.

So if I want to give up the pro fight, and let's say he get 4， he will automatically begin the six year sentence for the death threat. When he's done serving that six year sentence, he will automatically roll into a thirty year to life sentence for the attack on the correctional officer. What happens is if he's again never pulled from my mom's murder, he will never serve the other two sentences.

But if he is paroled and I just want to give up, I can rely on the fact that he has a thirty, sixty life sentence. In california, there's a three strikes law. If you have three major strikes on your record, there's virtually no way you're going to get out a person.

My mom's murder was one strike. The correctional officer attack was another strike. So the fact of the D.

A. Took my charge seriously and pinned the death rate on him, actually made IT. So he had a third strike and he's virtually never getting out.

To add on the fact that he is two life sentences is huge IT means he's just never fucking getting out. I should mention the judge also, before I made my victim impact statement, he said to me, would you like a thirty day restraining order? I said, my concern with a restraining order is that IT doesn't protect me necessarily against people that aren't Jessie, right?

I thought that IT keeps me from being harmed by Jessie, not contacted by Jessie. Well, that's not really in my concern. My concern is some stranger he hire to kill me, SHE explained.

No, IT actually protects you and makes any contact from any one. A filter would just see an automatic crime. IT takes away that time from you having approved with a crime. IT is a crime instantaneously. So I said, okay, greatly give IT to me.

What SHE offered was a thirty day restraining order but by the time I i'd finished my victim impact statement, SHE said, okay, i'm giving you a ten year restraining order so that woman, as much as he was doing stuff to protect to Jesse in the peace process, SHE was also doing not to protect the system. But in that moment with the restoring order, SHE was protecting me. And i've heard that it's pretty hard to get a restraining order.

I've never actually tried because I just didn't think I would necessarily protect me as much as I would. I'm so grateful for the judges doing that as well. I am navigating the world in a different way.

Now when I stepped in that course, I knew my life. I changed. I felt instantly lighter. It's a feeling I can't even explain to know that I would never have to see this face again if I don't want to.

When I walked into that courtroom, I remember the da said, like, how do you feel? I said, I feel so light and my first thought after that was, I don't have to like to my kids anymore. The one thing I ever lie to them about, the one thing I ever said to them that was a false od was is just ever getting got a person.

And I would say no, because I just would hope and pray that he would IT. And I didn't want my kids to live with that fear. They know about him.

They know what happened. He came out in a series of ways to end that day when the da said, how does this feel? I said, I can tell my kids without most confidence and honesty that Jessie is never getting out and felt so freeing.

So when people say, how does that feel like literally light? I feel light. IT is a good navia the world not having to say, yeah, but my brother might get on the prison and try to kill me.

There is still a fear of him trying to hire someone from within prison. But that wasn't my biggest fear. My biggest fear was him getting out.

And I never have to fear that again. I'm in love with the fact that mom got more justice that day. At this point she's gone.

There's nothing that could bring her back and there's nothing that can make IT Better. But I didn't know there was retroactive tive justice for her. I don't know we could get him as an adult offender.

No one educated me on that, and the da just did IT in my whole world changed the way I look at the country I live in, changed the way I look at the justice system that I have gotten traumatized for sixteen years by. It's changed. I have faith.

I have hope. The month after my podcast came out, and within three weeks of that filing of my police report against Jessie for the athlete, he received his sentence, he was convicted. I made a phone call to the detective that was assigned to the case on the death threat through the shares station that I was fAiling.

I said, hey, do. I know I just filed this like three and a half weeks ago or something, but he's already been sentenced and he was like, very well. And I was a guy I know swiftest serving of justice ever, which just infuses me with so much whole and so much knowledge.

I wanna put into perspective that this is the first peace and freedom I have felt in so long. It's been sixteen years since my mom's murder, but there was abuse occurring for at least ten years before that. So i'm talking about twenty six years of abuse at the hands of this man that continued while he was in jail, that continued while he was in prison.

And now this prison crimes unit, courtroom and the professionals that work from IT gave me the opportunity, be free to be lighter, to move on in a way that i've never been able to before. Because I kept being reinjected into the system. I kept having to make statements to make sure that he would stay in prison.

I kept trying that half to file charges. This is the first time in over twenty five years that I feel peace. It's kind of magical.

It's just a testament to how trigger ing and traumatizing the systems in place can be that my mom was still murdered. Her murdered still exists. He's still in prison. He still abuses me, but I don't have to deal with him anymore.

And the fact that that is a sentiment and that is what lessons so much trauma and darkness on my heart, just a true sign of how trigger ing difficult to navigate our systems are. I'm really thinkable. It's over.

I'm really thinkless. I have freedom. I am really thankful for your tifany for being there is a friend for being there as virtually a sister. And I think our listeners, because honestly, every little bit of support the signatures is on that petition.

The collection from my stories, the messages of hope and love, the i'm listening, i'm here with you, I get IT, I don't get IT, but i'm here with you. All of them mean so fucking much to me. They have boated me through some of the darkest times of my life.

And i'm just so fucking excited. I feel like the darkest times are all behind me. Thank you. Better help for sponsoring today's episode.

As a reminder, don't forget to use W, C, N for ten percent off your first month of Better help services. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. Next week on what came next, IT broke something in me for a period of time.

I was a very complex, multilayered journey that I experienced. There are times where I had a lot of support, and there are times where there was no support. That was in the moments where i'm like, something has to change in this process. What came next to a broken cycle media production co produced by amy b. Chesler and Tiffany? Any race, if you'd like to help support what came next, you can leave us a positive review, support our sponsors or follow broken cycle media on instagram at broken cycle media, check out the episode notes for sources, resources and to follow our guests. Thank you again for listening.

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