S6 E1: So Many Lies | Kaelyn
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Today's interview features Kaylin, who I actually discovered thanks to many of you. Kaylin was shocked when her TikTok video went viral. It currently has over 6.5 million views. Here's the audio from Kaylin's TikTok video. Put a finger down if your friend was getting married and you didn't know anyone at the wedding. So she says that you can sit with her friend Tyler after you get to know him. So you start to text Tyler every day for about three to four months. Get pretty close. But then he doesn't show.

That's okay. You guys are still friends. You're still going to talk to him. A few more months pass, and he ends up getting a girlfriend named Lexi, who he eventually knocks up. At this point, Lexi goes crazy, starts making his life a living hell, and he develops depression issues. After talking to Tyler about his depression, you say that he needs to leave Lexi for his general health and well-being, but he decides that the best course of action is to commit suicide.

So for years you harbor all this guilt, not knowing what to do or say to save your friend, and knowing that he's gone forever.

About ten years later, you find out that nobody in the story was ever real, and that you were catfished by your friend who got married. You think you know me, you don't know me well. You think you know me, you don't know me well.

My name is Kaylin Neermeyer. I am 28 years old. I live in northwestern Pennsylvania. I currently work at Meadville Hospital as an RN, and I'm here to tell you about how I was catfished by one of my good friends.

I originally met Kristen through a Facebook status that was posted. Somebody that I knew from the town I grew up in had posted a random number stating that they were trying to figure out who it belonged to. So I was bored, had nothing really better to do and began texting this number to see if I could figure out who it was for them.

After talking to this person for so long, we ended up just BSing about other things not even relevant to the Facebook status and kind of hit it off just from that, which I know is the oddest way to meet somebody. But that is how I met her. We ended up becoming friends and started hanging out from there. I never ended up telling the person on Facebook that that's who it was either.

When we had first started texting, she had told me originally about a girl named Lexi who had consistently harassed her. She stated that Lexi was her older brother's ex-girlfriend.

Her older brother, his name was Ryan, and he had apparently died in a car accident. And Lexi just harbored all this hate towards Kristen. I'm not sure if it was because of the accident or if it was because of just drama in general from when they were together. But that was what she had told me was that they just never got along. And it was just a constant texting harassment, bad drama all the time.

Me being the naive 19-year-old that I was during this time, tried to intervene in the situation and just wanted to make things right. So I began to text this Lexi girl as well to try and figure out what the problem was and if there was a way that we could solve it all together. After talking to Lexi for a little bit, she did decide that we could all meet up together and talk in person. So I stated that we could do it at my house. I had Kristen come over and we waited for Lexi for about an hour before we determined she wasn't going to show.

When we went outside to go back to Kristen's car, we saw a huge scratch on the side of the car.

And a note that was left on the windshield saying, I don't know, am I allowed to swear? Yes, please. Okay. It said, it said, fuck you, bitch, on the note. And that was basically the end of that. After that point, I had no longer tried to get along with Lexi. We just kind of kept her at a distance. And I was just more trying to be a supportive friend for Kristen during this trialing time for her.

This continued to go on for quite a long time. Kristen told me that she drove a white Jeep that had a pink browning sticker on the back of it. Sometimes when we were hanging out, we would see her driving around town in this vehicle. I know that there were some times that we would even drive by her house and things like that just to see what she was doing, which I know now is incredibly inappropriate, and I would never condone that kind of behavior. But once again, I was 19 years old, and I was very...

Very easy to manipulate. So as this time went on more, basically she had started harassing me as well and Kristen. And it just kind of went on like that for quite a while, really. When I first started talking to Kristen, she was starting to get closer to her wedding date.

Because I had never really hung out with her other than the few times that we did with just the two of us, I didn't know any of her friends. I'd only met her family a handful of times, but even during the wedding, obviously they would be sitting at a different table. And Kristen wanted me to come to her wedding, but I just didn't know who I would sit with or who I would even bring because I was recently single and didn't really know anybody.

She told me I should start talking to her friend, Tyler, that she had grown up with since she was a little kid. And because he was saying the same thing, apparently, to her that he didn't know who to sit with.

We started texting, Tyler and I did, about three to four months before the wedding. And we got pretty close during those months. I would say we probably talked at least every day. I know that we flirted. I don't think that we ever really like sexted or got like super intimate or personal like in that sense. But I definitely enjoyed his company and I enjoyed his friendship. When the wedding came, he ended up not showing up.

When I asked him why he didn't show, he said that it was because he still had feelings for Kristen. Apparently, he had some big crush on her and he couldn't see himself watching her marry somebody else, basically. I said I understood that guardless because we weren't really a thing at that time. So I had no right to be jealous about that. And I saw him kind of as more as a friend anyways at that point. So I brushed it off and said that that was okay. We could still talk and it would be fine.

We had still stayed friends for a little bit after the wedding until he started dating Lexi, the one that was harassing us from the beginning. After he started dating Lexi, he was no longer allowed to talk to me. And if he did, it was always very rude and ignorant. Just once again, the harassment that Lexi caused kind of came through Tyler at some points as well.

I hadn't talked to him for a really long time until he messaged me one night telling me that he was extremely depressed and that Lexi had got pregnant and was making his life hell. He said that she was never going to let him live a normal life again and was going to take him for everything he had and he would never have the kind of life that he wanted because she was pregnant with his baby now.

He told me he wanted to kill himself and I kept trying to talk to him. I remember staying up until probably four in the morning that night. I was driving around. I was texting Kristen trying to figure out where he could be so I could meet him and get him to not do anything stupid. And around four in the morning, he texted me, I'm sorry, Kay, I can't do it. And that was the last thing that I heard from Tyler. I had a really hard time with that.

especially because we had been kind of fighting. So I had guilt from the fight that we had on top of guilt from not being able to stop him. Not that that was anything to do with me, but you know, as a 19 year old, you just want to save the world. And when you can't even save your friend, it's really hard on your heart. The funeral was arranged for a couple of days later. And I asked Kristen if we could go together.

I got ready and was dressed and ready to go. Went to Oil City to meet up with Kristen and she had a complete breakdown. Just started crying saying that she didn't want to see Tyler like that. She did tell me that he was cremated. So that was kind of a red flag there right from the beginning. But we ended up just getting lunch instead because she didn't want to go. She didn't want to be around Lexi and she just didn't want to be in that type of environment.

I tried to respect that decision, even though I really wanted to go. And so I just tried to be a good friend and stay with Kristen during the day. After that, things with Lexi and Tyler kind of calmed down for a while. I was supposed to buy a vehicle off of Tyler because I was really desperate for a vehicle at the time. And he stated that he had an SUV that he was going to sell me for a really good price.

So after the passing of him, I told Kristen that it was really unfortunate that that happened because I still really needed a vehicle and I was hoping that I could still get it somehow. She said that he had a younger sister that she could give me her number and that her name was Emily and I could meet up with Emily probably and get the vehicle from her. So then I started texting Emily.

I had tried to meet up with her at least three or four times before I gave up because she never showed. I had even gone to her workplace. She stated that she worked at Walmart and Cranberry. So I even went there and was asking if anyone knew which department she worked in so I could see her. And I remember a scheduler even telling me that she made the schedules and there was no Emily Baxter there. I asked Kristen about it later and she stated that the scheduler

scheduler was newer to the facility and probably just didn't know everybody yet. So once again, I blew it off. Eventually just dropped the whole thing in general because it was just never going to go anywhere and I was tired of wasting my time.

About that time, it was pretty close to the time that Kristen ended up moving to Florida. So when she moved to Florida, I really didn't hear from Lexi hardly at all anymore. Like that, the whole drama kind of faded because I wasn't really around Kristen anymore. So I wasn't really a target to those people anymore. So I would still see Kristen every once in a while when she would come home and visit. And, you know, we would talk on Facebook and that. But otherwise, our friendship kind of died out when she moved away. It wasn't until nursing school.

We were in a lecture and we were all talking about suicide. Everyone was opening up about their stories, about what they had gone through with the situations, and I decided to share my story. So I told them about Tyler and how it always bothered me, you know, that I couldn't find the right words to say and to stop my friend from, you know, taking his own life. And, you know, had an emotional moment. Basically, everyone in that class was crying that day. And it got my mind starting to think about him again. So...

I got on Facebook to see if I could find his old profile. I did end up finding it. And when I investigated further, it said that he had posted something about six months ago stating that he moved to Florida. So that automatically triggered some red flags to me. Instead of calling her out completely, I messaged Kristen and asked once again if she could send me an obituary because that was one thing that I had always asked her about in the past. But

She always had some type of excuse for why it wasn't obtainable. Or she would just say, oh, yeah, I'll send it to you. And then, you know, things would get forgotten and I never would bring it up. So I brought it up again. This was about five or six years after his death that I had asked again. I had tried looking it up by myself as well, obviously, but I couldn't find anything. And I really don't remember what excuse she gave me, but it was something that I had believed because...

I don't even know. I was very impressionable. As I got older, I feel like more of those red flags did stick out, though. And Catfish became more of a TV, you know, the TV show and everything came out. So it did seem like more of a plausible explanation for what was happening than all the stories that she had told me before.

So she said she would get it to me. A few days passed, nothing was shown. So I'd ask her again and she'd be like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm at my boyfriend's house. Like I don't have good service, but I'll send it to you. And then a few more days passed and this just kept happening over and over again until I was obviously getting extremely suspicious.

So instead of asking any further from her, I messaged her now ex-husband, the one that she got married to during all of this from the beginning. And I asked him about these people that she was telling me about, Alexi and Tyler and Emily. I figured if anyone was going to know who these people were, it would have been her ex-husband because obviously he would know about a girl who was constantly harassing her and a boy that she grew up with since she was a child, you know.

So I asked Zach and he told me he had never heard of any of those people. I told him I think that she had catfished me and he told me that he would believe that because when they were together, he would see her sitting in the driveway in her car on multiple phones texting people. Obviously, I was extremely upset finding this out. So I messaged Kristen and said, apparently Zach doesn't even know who these people are. And she read that and immediately blocked me after that moment.

So basically around that point, I knew I never got like any closure from her until just recently. But I mean, I basically it was about five or six years that I had held all that guilt and ignorance for this spring. I had I was on my Instagram feed and a boy that follows me and I followed him. I don't even know who he is, to be honest with you, which, yes, I know I should probably be more careful with my socials, but.

I didn't really think anything of it at the time, but I saw that he had posted a picture with him and Kristen standing together. And I immediately got anxious and upset. I thought that she was trying to use his account to get a look in my life. And that made me extremely uneasy. So I messaged him and I asked if Kristen told him to follow me.

He said no and was extremely confused. I wasn't trying to ruin her reputation or a friendship that she may have developed. And I was trying to just let things go because I thought, you know, in my head that this was just like a one time thing that she had done. And we all make mistakes. So I didn't want to I just I wasn't trying to ruin her life. So I didn't really say anything. I was just like, oh, OK, well, whatever. It's fine. Like and I just kind of let it be at that.

Shortly after, Kristen messaged me asking why I asked him that question. And I said, because it seemed like something you would do. And I was just really uncomfortable about the idea of you getting involved in my life like that again, because you really, you know, screwed me over and messed with my emotions and my mental health for years to come because of what you did, you know.

She ended up apologizing, saying that she knows that she screwed up and that she had changed so much and learned a lot over the years. I did ask her at that point if she could just tell me the truth and tell me if any of those people were real. Even though I knew they weren't, I just wanted to hear her say it.

She ended up telling me that it was just a big lie. It was something that her cousin had started, according to her, and she got roped into doing. She said she knew some other people of the picture she was using, but most of them she didn't know. And that she just kind of, it became a habit for her and like an addiction.

I told her that I understood and I was sorry that she couldn't tell me earlier. But I forgive her because I have to for my own growth. I have to forgive her and that I wish her the best in life. And that's basically the last time that I've talked to her. I ended up kind of pushing it in the back of my brain from that point on.

until August, I saw that catfish episode. She was on a catfish episode, but instead of her being the one that was catfishing, somebody was catfishing her. So I obviously watched the episode. I was interested to see what had happened. And I come to find out that Kristen had catfished multiple people. And one of them

who her name is Tiffany, ended up catfishing her back in order to get revenge. And that was what the whole catfish episode was about. So after hearing that she had catfished so many other people, it really sparked something inside of me where I just was extremely frustrated. And I think even more hurt. It's one thing to hurt me. But when I find out that you're hurting like so many other people continuously, like you didn't learn anything. That's like what I had like the hardest time with.

So I ended up making that TikTok and it blew up. I never expected it to get that kind of attention. And I've just been getting so many questions and support since then. I've even had people reach out to me about their own catfish stories, which has been a great opportunity to, you know, try and help people or even just relate with other people that have been through the same thing. Because I know that it's not an easy thing to understand. I know some people, you know, would never buy into something like that, but...

There are impressionable minds that fall for the stories that people make up pretty easily. And so it has been very nice to reflect on other people and build together in our experiences. But that's basically the story. I don't know if you have any other questions of things I didn't cover. I have so many questions. It's an incredible story. And I think what really stands out to me from the beginning is...

this ability that Kristen has to keep up with so many different plot lines.

Looking back, what are the red flags that you see now that at the time you excused because you gave her the benefit of the doubt? Well, I feel like obviously the biggest red flag was the fact that somebody was sharing her phone number on social media. Like obviously she was probably harassing somebody from the get and I was just like, oh, hey, let me be friends with this person. Like that's probably the biggest like thing

baseball moment that I can think of that is embarrassing to even talk about but hey um obviously can you explain that to me a little right so she had posted on Facebook no it was somebody that I knew from high school like said does like they posted a status saying does anybody know whose number this is and so I started texting it trying to figure out who it was okay well to be 19 you know and also when you you're of a different kind of generation when it came to the internet like

When I first was on the internet in high school and things like that, before Catfish even came out, you know, it was a different world. We have so much more awareness, like you said, of these sorts of things now and the age that you were. It's completely understandable to me that you got caught up in something like this. I think, like you said, sometimes we don't recognize that, like, we need more boundaries with social media and things like that until stuff like this happens. Exactly. Yeah.

So that's how you started talking to her. And then with Lexi, she was introduced actually before Tyler. So Lexi was introduced to you as Kristen's brother's ex-girlfriend. So they had broken up and then Lexi's like harassing her because she's mad about the situation happened with Kristen's brother and Lexi.

Right. And I apparently, apparently after, and I just realized this, um, after talking to Tiffany, cause I did reach out to Tiffany cause I had a lot of questions as well. And I mean, we were from different towns. So like nobody really knew Kristen that I knew. So I did, I asked her about Ryan, which was Kristen's brother. Um,

And like, because I was wondering if he was even real. And I asked if he did die in a car accident. And she said that Kristen was the oldest. Like she didn't even have an older brother. So that was a lie too. So she didn't even have a brother? Nope.

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What kinds of things did you start talking with Tyler about before the wedding? Was it just basically like sort of dating? And then he admitted that he was in love with Kristen, basically. And that's why he wasn't able to attend the wedding. But before that, it was kind of like the idea was that basically Kristen was doing you this favor by hooking you up with her friend. Yeah, she was trying to hook us up. But like, I don't I feel like we just kind of talked like normal. Like, I don't feel like there was anything like too crazy we talked about. But.

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I did flirt with him though. I just feel like I repressed a lot of this stuff because it was for one so long ago at this point. And obviously it was traumatic. So I feel like I did push a lot of it to the back. And I really, I just don't remember to be honest with you. But I don't think that it was anything too crazy, but just like, I mean, I probably called him cute and said like, we should hang out after the wedding too. Like maybe we can like go somewhere. You know what I mean? Like nothing, nothing.

nothing super inappropriate or like forward, but like, I definitely, I had to have flirted because you know, I'm Kaylin and that's who I am as a person, but. Nothing wrong with flirting. So then afterward, after the wedding, he doesn't show he's too in love with Kristen. What is Kristen? Is Kristen talking to you a lot at this time about Tyler and Lexi when you and her are communicating? Oh yeah. That was basically all we would talk about. Like all that.

that we would talk about during those times. She would be like, look at what Lexi sent me and now Tyler's doing this and now Lexi did this and so-and-so ran into them here. And like, it was so involved. Like,

it was just ridiculous. Like the stories and stuff. And obviously I like what, why would you think that those people were fake? You know what I mean? If there's three of them for one, there's three different people. So it was time to make up three different people with all of these stories. And then like the Jeep and everything, which I did actually, I found out who, who drove that Jeep. And it was somebody else that Kristen was harassing. And I apologize to her for myself because I just remember the one day that we stopped and

And she like left a little Debbie snack on her, like her windshield and said, fuck you, you fat bitch, like on a note and left it for her. But like in my head, I thought it was for Lexi. So I'm like, yeah, whatever. She's a bitch. Like, I can't stand that girl. She killed my friend, like in my head, you know what I mean? And I ended up finding out who it was though. And I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, I mean, I never, I never did anything, but I was in the car when, you know, she would be driving around sometimes. So I still feel like I should apologize, but

We're actually on good terms now and I feel like it's somebody else I can talk to about her that actually knows who she is as a person. So that's kind of nice in that manner. But yeah, it's just so many lies. I can't even imagine like what it's like to unpack something like that. And it's gaslighting on so many different levels.

So after the wedding and you continue your relationship with Tyler, Lexi and Tyler got together. And then did Lexi still contact you throughout this? I know it started before you even met Tyler, but when did it end? I don't, I don't feel like it really, I don't think it ever really ended until Kristen moved. And even when she moved, it still like was there every once in a while, but it just wasn't as frequent.

But no, because even when she had Tyler, she would or Lexi would always text me and like rub it in my face like that he wasn't allowed to be my friend anymore. And she would just always say things like I can't I won't be happy until Kristen is six feet under with her brother and like stuff like that. So like, obviously, I hate this girl. Like she's always harassing both of us like that. So I don't think it ever stopped until until Kristen moved away. Wow.

Can you talk to me a little bit about when Tyler started talking to you about feeling like he was going to take his own life and what that experience was like?

Um, I remember I was still mad at him because obviously he just like up and stopped talking to me for this girl that we had told him was trash from the beginning. So when he told me he was miserable, I'm like, well, then leave. Like you have plenty of support. It'd be so easy to just walk out of it. And as soon as he said anything about suicide, I was like, oh, I didn't think you were going to be that drastic about it. But I didn't really have a lot of

experience with stuff like that in general. I didn't really know what to say or like how to help somebody in that situation more than just like I wanted to be there. So I knew he wouldn't, but since I had never met him before, obviously I didn't know where to go. Like I didn't know where he lived and he wouldn't tell me where he was. And I don't, I don't remember everything he said. I just remember that it was literally like between a six and eight hour conversation of just texting before like he stopped. Um,

But obviously towards the end, I was a little more caring and frantic for trying to help him. But in the beginning, I was probably a little more short and reserved because I was upset with him, you know? Right. How did you end up finding out that he had taken his life then? Like, did Kristen tell you? Yeah, she told me that...

because I eventually got a hold of her and asked if she could go over to his house because he wasn't writing me back anymore. And she said she went over there and that his parents had walked in and found him laying on the ground with a gun and that he had shot himself in the head. So that's why they had to cremate him. And yeah, that's basically how I found out was through Kristen. Everything was always through Kristen.

I feel like that would be absolutely devastating. Oh, yeah, I was really upset. I feel like I was, I was more upset because like, I couldn't stop him. You know what I mean? I feel like I just like had so much guilt about that. And I did, I broke down and I had a really hard time with it for a long time. I mean, even to this day, there's like certain songs that like,

you know, you always listen to the songs that like the lyrics match how you're feeling and your, your cry songs, you know, we all have our cry songs. And I still like the ones that I harbored or like had for him for those moments. I still like, can't listen to to this day, which is crazy to me because I know the truth now. And I still like, that's all I think about was like how I was feeling during those times. And I just, I just refrained from listening to them because it's easier, but I had a really, really hard time. I bet.

What was Kristen's response to Tyler's suicide like? She was really emotional about it, too. So I don't know how she played so well. Like, she should be an actress, I think, because I don't know how you can show that kind of an emotion to somebody that you made up yourself, you know? But especially, you know, when we were going to go to the funeral, like, she really did. Like, she was, like, crying and was like, I just don't want to, I can't do it. I don't want to be around him like that. And

So, I mean, it was totally believable. I thought that she lost like her childhood friend. So you reached out once you started suspecting that like this was BS, you had that like aha moment sort of in your nursing class and you went and looked on Facebook and saw that Tyler was quote still alive and had moved to Florida. Like, what were you thinking? Were you thinking that like he had just made up, they had just made up that he had committed suicide or were you automatically like, oh, this is Kristen?

I first thought this is Kristen, but then I was like, well, how though? Because there was two other people involved. So I was like, it was either Kristen catfishing me or maybe he just didn't want anything to do with me anymore. And Lexi was going to make his life hell unless like I was out of the picture. So he like faked it or something. Like, I don't know. My brain was everywhere trying to elaborate how any of it could make sense, but yeah.

I figured that reaching out to her and trying to get her to bust her cover was my best option for figuring out the truth. So that is what I attempted. So when you reached out to her ex-husband, that's when he told you that...

He wouldn't be – he had no idea who these people were, number one, which is like huge red flag. And then two, that he would catch her with multiple phones in the parking lot at Walmart. Is that what you – No, in the driveway at their house. Oh, at their house. So he was doing this from multiple phones even? Yeah, apparently, yeah.

Okay. So then after you spoke with the ex and you confronted Kristen, she blocked you. And then later she did admit that it was her, correct? And she apologized and said, like, I'm moving on with my life, whatever. And that was when would you say? Oh, this was the spring. So I would say like March or April.

So right before the episode comes out. Right. Because the episode came out in August. Well, not right before, but this year. Like so much of this is just taking place. So then she says, I'm sorry. Like basically I moved on from that and acted like that was her only time that she had catfished. Somebody was you? Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Can you just talk about what it was like watching her catfish episode and what that experience was like for you after being through what you had been through with her?

Well, as soon as I saw that it was her, I immediately thought that it was going to be the table's turn, obviously. I thought that, like, Kristen would have just been, like, somebody's friend during the episode and then, like, found out that she was the one catfishing them. So to see that it was, like, from the other angle, like, that she was talking to somebody...

Just irritated me to know, especially because like in the beginning of the episode, they're all like, oh, we like her. Like, she's so sweet. Like, I really hope that this works out. And I'm like, you don't even know. Like, you don't even know what she's capable of. So it just like infuriated me. And then like even by the end of it, I mean, obviously all the truth came out. But yeah, I was just like it.

It was a little satisfying. I know that's probably not the most mature thing to say, but just that, you know, she got some karma back to her. And I hope that maybe now that it's such a public thing about her, she can change. But I mean, I don't know how somebody like that can change when it's been so many people that you've hurt and you just still continue with that kind of lifestyle. But I don't know. I'll pray for her.

I was able to find it like one place online. I guess they had to take it down because, but like somebody's kids were shown on the episode and that's why they had to take it down from my understanding. Yeah. From what I was told from Tiffany, it was like Kristen was using the pictures of different children and saying that they had like passed away or something. And that was, I think that,

I might be saying this wrong, but I'm pretty sure that that was the experience that Tiffany had with Kristen. Was Kristen manipulated Tiffany into thinking that some little girl had passed away and they ended up sending like money and stuff to this family that didn't exist when it was Kristen in return or something like that. So because it was like kids were involved in like pictures of those kids, they took the episode down because MTV didn't want like any legal action with that. So.

I think that that's basically what it was. Yeah, that makes sense. You never spoke on the phone. I'm assuming with Tyler or Lexi or Emily, it was all over text. Right. I mean, I had definitely tried because I know that that's what other people said too. Like you never thought to call him, but like I definitely had tried, especially Tyler. I was always trying to hang out with him or like talk to him on the phone, but he always had like

Some type of excuse like, oh, well, I'm at work. I'll call you after. Oh, sorry, I fell asleep or I ended up getting stuck late or, you know, something like that. Like there was always some type of excuse that I just bought into. So it was all texting. There was nothing else other than that.

It seemed like those sort of tactics were the same ones that she was like claiming that were being used against her. And that's like the ultimate thing that stood out to me about seeing Kristen on the episode. She has done all of these horrific things and catfished so many people and yet is now her cousin is now nominated her and made her essentially like the victim. She just seems to have an ability to manipulate people in a very real way.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, and then actually, this was another funny thing I had found out from Tiffany. She told me because I know in that catfish episode, she talks about how they got divorced because she caught her husband cheating on her. Kristen's husband. Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that. Was that BS? Well, yeah, because apparently I was the one that slept with him is what Tiffany told me. So I'm like, uh, no.

I definitely never did that. But that was what Kristen told Tiffany. Like she showed her my picture and said, this is who it was. And I was like, oh, okay. I guess I'm a homewrecker now. But no, I don't, I doubt it was true unless it was somebody else and she just wanted to use my picture for something. But I honestly doubt it. So.

How would you describe the impact emotionally that going through something like that has on you and your ability to sort of like trust yourself and future relationships? I definitely have been more protective of my emotions. I trust.

I mean, even since this TikTok thing blew up, I've gotten so many friend requests on like Facebook and Instagram that I just have been ignoring because obviously I don't know these people. Like for all I know, they could just be Kristen, you know, making another account. So, and I have a daughter now, so I don't really want a bunch of strangers on my page that I don't know. So I think that I've been a lot smarter in cases like that. Obviously I don't put as much public for everyone to see.

I'm still pretty trusting in the basis of just being friendly with people. I probably shouldn't. I'm not going to lie. I feel like I just become friends with basically everybody. It doesn't matter who they are or what they've done to me. I'm just like, oh, it's okay. Like, forgive and let go. Like, we're good. We're fine. So I don't think it's ruined too much of my character. I think it's made me more...

I think it's just really, I think it's just been like a, something I've kind of pushed away for so long that I don't know how it's affected me because I've never really talked about it before. I guess after all this stuff had happened, I got in a relationship with somebody that didn't understand it at all. So anytime I would talk about Tyler or like cry about him, he would just be like, I don't know why you care. You never met him. Or, you know, he was just very like emotionally abusive. So I feel like because of that, I,

repressed a lot of it. And it hasn't really come out until talking about it now, because I've just never talked about it really before. So that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. And I think sometimes we do that in life to survive. Absolutely. You know, and you compartmentalize and you're like, okay, or I need to focus on my kid right now. Like that's what's most important or nursing school or whatever else you have going on. Obviously very painful.

What has it been like posting the video on TikTok and seeing the response and getting all the comments from people? I think that the internet is also very capable of emotional abuse. It can be very, like you said, it can be very great and you connect with other people and very positive. But then I also recognize that there's a lot of people who will question you or insult you and it's, you know, unwarranted because...

you don't deserve that, but you know, it's definitely part of the process of sharing your story sometimes. Right. And I definitely did get some, some lash back for sure, but it is hard, you know, seeing those comments and like the victim blaming or the, well, why didn't you think to ever call him? Like what, how can you even be close? Like once again, just going back to that ex-boyfriend who would always throw that in my head too, you know, I'm just hearing the same things basically. So it does make you upset. Like you're

I mean, it's not like I don't already think that for myself. Like I already look back at myself at 19 and think, why didn't you look further into that? Like you could have avoided so much if you just protected yourself a little bit better. You know what I mean? But I can't change the past, but I can hopefully change somebody's future. So that's kind of the outlook I try and focus on.

Absolutely. What do you think is like the biggest lesson that you learned through this experience about yourself?

probably that I am just too trusting. And I know that it is something that I'm still working on to this day. I don't think it's a bad thing to have a good heart, but maybe to just protect it until people deserve it more. But I still think in general, it's made me a better person. And it honestly put me on the path to my nursing career, which I am an RN now, which is great. And I love my job. I

And I just remember like in the beginning when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do, I just always reflected back on not knowing what to say to stop him and thinking that maybe in nursing school they would talk about that eventually and

I would have better knowledge about how to stop somebody else in the future. I feel like that's kind of what pushed me towards nursing more than the other things that I was thinking about doing. So I got something from it, and everything happens for a reason. I know that's a pretty general statement, but...

That makes sense to me. And I definitely try to like come from the place of like, even if everything doesn't necessarily happen for a reason, if people don't believe that or whatever, you can make purpose out of anything that happens to you. And I think that's so awesome that it like motivated you to go to nursing school. I mean, obviously, I think it's horrible that this happened to you. And but I think that that's great that it led to something great for you as well.

In terms of like after you saw the catfish episode and connected with Tiffany, have you had any other contact with Kristen? Has she tried to reach out to you since the TikTok or anything like directly?

No, I don't know if she just deleted her whole account or if she just deleted me, but I saw that we're not friends on Facebook anymore because I did add her back in the spring when we had our truths. I didn't really talk to her any more than that, obviously, but I at least added her back on Facebook. But I know that her accounts are all kind of dissipated now, especially her Instagram is not even a picture anymore and her username is different. But

But no, she hasn't. She hasn't tried to reach out to me at all. What would you say to somebody who is either thinking about or has catfished somebody else to try to help them understand that the impact that it has on other people? I would just say to really think about it first. Really think about the emotional damage it can cause somebody. I mean, like I said, this has been going on for like nine to 10 years for me now, and it's still...

it still messes with me. And it's probably something that you wouldn't think about after a month, you know? And I probably will, honestly, after all this has come up again, I probably am going to go back to counseling because it's been a while and it's not, like I said, something I've ever talked about. So it would be kind of nice to get a professional opinion on things and see how it probably has affected my life more than I'm seeing right now.

But I would just find another way. You want a different perspective on somebody else, just talk to them. Most people are pretty willing to talk if you just ask the right questions. You don't need some made-up imaginary person to...

get the details, you know, and it can be very detrimental to somebody. And I could even see it like from the other way around. I mean, I did have really bad depression that didn't make it any better during that time. So do you really want to be responsible for somebody else's death? Like in real life, just because you wanted to create some character for whatever reason you can come up with, you know, because I could totally see that happening. I'm sure it probably has happened, you know.

So absolutely, it's you're talking, you might be pretending to be a fake person, but you're talking to a real person who has real emotions and feelings and is going to be impacted. And I mean, it just seems so emotionally cruel. It's hard for me to understand and wrap my head around. And you seem extremely forgiving and very able to like, see her as a human being. And I really respect that. Well, thank you.

What was it like sharing with your family and friends, like on a personal note that this happened? What was their response like? I imagine they were very angry for you.

Yeah, I feel like I had only told a couple people. I mean, obviously I told my dad because he was one of the ones that took me a couple times to go get that vehicle from Emily and obviously never showed. But like even he never saw anything of it. He's just like, oh, she doesn't want to sell it to you. You know what I mean? He never once was like, oh, it's not a real person, Caitlin. You know what I mean? Especially in that generation, they're not going to see things that way. My mom is a very emotional person. I love her dearly, but she cried when I told her she was very upset.

And, you know, obviously asked me if I was okay. But I feel like I've never really shown a lot of emotions to my mother because she's always been the emotional one. So I got a big strong one, you know what I mean? But she was probably more upset than anyone. And then I told my best friend, Tilly. She's been my best friend for 15 years. So even when that episode and everything came out, I shared that with her. And she was just like, oh my gosh, like she couldn't believe it.

But she she's always been there for me. You know, she's always given me support and listened without judgment. Why do you think Kristen did it? I don't know. I don't know if it was just a boredom or if it was a crush or I just have no idea. I also don't know if it was like a financial situation, too, because like from what I've heard from Tiffany's story, like they did send money for like the cancer treatments or something. I might be wrong on that. But like I know that she had like given money.

to this fake family. You know what I mean? So in turn... That Tiffany had or... Yeah, that her family did. And then like with me, like she was trying to get me this, to buy that vehicle. Like, and I haven't said that from the beginning though, because she kept trying to send, get me to send the money before I even had the vehicle. And I was like, no, like I'm obviously going to wait until...

I get the title. Like, I'm not just going to send you money for something that I don't have yet. So I don't know if it might have been something like that as well or not. But I just really want to say thank you for making the time to come on. And I know our listeners really appreciate you coming on and hearing from you. And I also noticed when I looked at your TikTok that you are a singer.

Oh, you have like an amazing singing voice or do you just, are you just like, is that just like your secret talent or do you sing to your, to your, um, your patients or what's happening? So I can sing in front of a camera. I can't sing in front of people, but I mean, I enjoy singing and I'll take all the constructive criticism you want to give me, but, uh, it's just more of a hobby. I do enjoy it, but I don't think that I'm like,

American Idol worthy you know what I mean I don't know girl I think you're pretty American Idol worthy I don't know is that a still thing but like you have an amazing voice and you clearly have a beautiful daughter and like so much amazing things happening in your life and that makes me so happy so happy to see that you've gone on and you're successful and you have your own you know successful relationship and so much good stuff in your life too thank you so much

I just so appreciate you making the time. And thank you so much for the opportunity. I really appreciate you giving me the chance to tell my truth. So thank you as well.

Something Was Wrong is produced and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese. Music on this episode from Glad Rags. Check out their album, Wonder Under. If you'd like to help support the growth of Something Was Wrong, you can help by leaving a positive review, sharing the podcast with your family, friends, and followers, and support...

at patreon.com slash somethingwaswrong. Something Was Wrong now has a free virtual survivor support forum at somethingwaswrong.com. You can remain as anonymous as you need. Thank you so much for listening. They call me up on the telephone But I know that it's not this They think they know me They don't know me well

you think you know me

If you like Something Was Wrong, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. She struck him with her motor vehicle. She had been under the influence and then she left him there.

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