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cover of episode The Big Suey: The Cowboys, The Coffee Table, and The Weekend Observations

The Big Suey: The Cowboys, The Coffee Table, and The Weekend Observations

2024/11/25
logo of podcast The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Key Insights

Why is Stugatz's Personal Record Book significant?

It marks Stugatz's debut as a published author, launching with significant preorders and potential to be a New York Times bestseller.

What was Dan's proposal for Jerry Jones during the Cowboys game?

Dan suggested Jerry Jones should have fired Mike McCarthy on the spot during the game to maximize publicity, despite the team winning.

Why did Mike find the movie 'The Coffee Table' disturbing?

The movie's central plot was highly disturbing, leading Mike to stop watching it due to the intense tension and discomfort it caused.

What does Stugatz think about the SEC?

Stugatz believes the SEC stands for chaos and predicts a seven-loss team from the conference will make the playoffs.

How does Stugatz feel about the Florida Gators' quarterback situation?

Stugatz suggests the Florida Gators may have found a competent quarterback, improving their performance over the last month.

What is Stugatz's view on the Carolina Panthers?

Stugatz feels the Panthers are turning things around and had a productive day despite not winning, potentially finding a good quarterback in Bryce Young.

What are Stugatz's top five things he can't resist?

1. Dolphins as heavy favorites. 2. A goof parlay. 3. Ripping James Franklin. 4. A good NBA two-team teaser. 5. A good book.

Why does Stugatz criticize electric bikes?

Stugatz believes electric bikes are misleading as exercise tools and advocates for traditional bicycles like Huffy.

What does Stugatz think about C.J. Stroud's performance?

Stugatz questions whether C.J. Stroud is in a sophomore slump, noting his frequent sacks and interceptions.

How does Stugatz describe the weekend's witching hour in football?

Stugatz calls it the best witching hour of all time, filled with unexpected and exciting moments across multiple games.

Chapters

The hosts discuss the upcoming launch of Stugotz's new book and reflect on their 20-year journey together.
  • Stugotz's book launch is a significant milestone in their 20-year history.
  • The book has already garnered significant pre-orders and positive feedback.
  • The hosts reflect on their journey and the loyalty of their audience.

Shownotes Transcript

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Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

As we celebrate 20 ridiculous years together, I will tell you that I do not believe that Stugatz has any segment that is more popular. Do I have this wrong in 20 years? Then weekend observations like your most popular segment.

segment is either that or Wake and Take, right? I think it was that, Wake and Take, or maybe the restaurant reservations, which I'm actually planning on doing one coming up here soon because it's anniversary time, Dano. Nice. Okay. Well, we are going to celebrate Stugatz here in a moment with what is his most featured bit. And I will say that tomorrow is a giant day in our history. And I don't want to just skip past it because we've been talking about it for a while.

This book is a real thing, and Stugatz wants it to be a New York Times bestseller, and we want it to be a New York Times bestseller. And it launches tomorrow. Like, the preorders are crazy already. All sorts of gifts to the people who have gotten in early. But this thing is happening. I've seen the book. It exists.

And tomorrow, it's no longer a broken promise. It's not a lie anymore. This is a very real thing. Stugatz, beginning tomorrow, is going to officially be a published author. Most of the material is borrowed from his author friends.

Not most of it, just about all of it, yeah. I would say 99.5% of it. Regardless, the book is going to come out tomorrow, and we are going to celebrate that tomorrow in a big way. I am super grateful to Dan Stancic because if not for him, this book doesn't get done. So I am grateful to him, all the people that contributed to this book, and all the people on social media. I was moved over the weekend to see how many listeners...

actually purchased the book. So I thank you very, very much. Tomorrow's going to be a very exciting day. What just happened there? I don't know. I got caught up in the air. I have weekend observations coming up. There's a lot going on in my head right now. I had a stroke. All that stuff. So listen, I just want to say, 20th year, I was moved over the weekend. It was nice. It was a relaxing weekend. The Jets weren't playing. I watched former Jets perform and excel all over the NFL. Sam Darnold, Geno Smith, just to name a few.

And I really had some time to reflect on the last 20 years and what this audience means to me. And this audience means everything to me. So thank you. It is very cool. Billy doesn't seem to believe you at all. He seems to be skeptical back there about whether the. Not at all. He always is. Oh, well. That's not true. Before we get to weekend observations, I will say I don't know that I've had a bigger surprise all year anywhere in my life than Stugatz showing up for that Flanagan's thing.

I felt the same about you. He does genuinely appreciate you. No, the expectations for us are different. I arrive after the first quarter. Dan, where were you? You're late. Sugats arrives at all. Giant celebration throughout the parking lot.

The expectations are different. You figured it out, buddy. Set them low, Dan. You have the game played perfectly because tell me, I was not the only one. You guys have had a big, give me a bigger surprise that you guys have had. Mike's experience with the coffee table might be one. No surprises match that. Ha ha ha ha ha.

The movie, The Coffee Table, I should say. If Anthony Jeselnik tells you, I found this movie to be a laugh riot and I smiled the entire way, that should be a pretty big red flag. Right. Dan, but I've been telling you because Billy and I have been making the tour around the United States. We've gone to Kansas City. We've gone to Chicago, Arizona. I went to Detroit-ish. And I am telling you, the outpouring from the fans during our 20th year is something you need to experience. And I'm glad you had the chance to do so last week. That's why I went.

I wanted to talk to our fans. Our fans have been great to us and loyal to us for 20 years. So tomorrow we're going to ask for more of that loyalty as Stugatz tries to butter you up. Before we get to weekend observations, would anyone have had any objection? Because I would have done this. I'm not saying that I'm better than Jerry Jones about anything when it comes to how it is you get publicity for your vehicle. But yesterday...

As McLaurin is running down the field when he's got 11 Cowboys in coverage and they've got no timeouts, if I were Jerry Jones, I would have run on the field and fired McCarthy before McLaurin got into the end zone. I would have made sure that I announced to the press before he ran those last 50 yards, McCarthy is fired right now. I don't care that they won the game.

During the return, you cannot have that happen at the end of a football game when the other team has no timeouts and they have to go 80 yards. That does not ever happen in professional football. When McLaurin turns around, there should be 19 Cowboy defenders there ready to greet him. They have 11 guys in coverage. I don't understand how he ran untouched for 80 yards. It's unbelievable.

That's a 0-0 score first quarter. McCarthy, it needs to be the last play of your career. That's it. You can't work for me anymore. What the Washington Commanders did is their best player threw it to their second best player and he ran 80 yards untouched. No!

No! Fired! Leave! Don't pick up your things! I'll throw them on the front yard! Get out of here! Never to work again! I'd prefer to never see you again! Why are you throwing... I know our families are friends! I know we all love...

each other you leave the facility and i never want to see you again but you're the owner and you're going to his house and you're taking his clothes and you're throwing them on the front no i threw all his coaching things out of his office but yes if he had done that i would have not convicted jerry jones for personally doing that as well you can't it's a big surprise that that player threw it to that player i would have fired him for winning i mean

It's a bad wit. Nothing can prepare you for the turn this movie takes. Nothing. Nothing. It needs a trigger warning just to talk about the synopsis. So you saw a movie recommended. Look, Mike, you have a lot of things going on and you do not put things at the front of the list for your consumption. You just watched the coffee table. The movie became...

because Anthony Jeselnik thought it was a laugh riot? It was on my list. I saw all these aggregated top 10 lists, top 10 horror suspense movies of the last few years, and the coffee table is always talked about, but I always found it curious the way that people spoke about it because they're like, we can't tell you what happens in this movie. And I understand it, even though it's very much the central plot line. People don't want to talk about the central plot line in the movie, and I understand because it's

It's unlike anything you've ever seen in a movie. I had to, for the first time in my life, stop a movie, not because I was tired, but because I needed to give myself a break from the tension that was building in this film. It's an unbelievable film, but you should look into it if you've had certain things happen in your life and see if you even want to give this thing a...

So there's a pretty big spoiler if you Google what this movie is about. If you're in, trust me, that's just the tip of the iceberg. All right. We'll continue to talk around this. But there's only one time in my life that this has ever happened to me during a movie where I had to turn it off. And I'm like, and it's not Midsommar or one of those. There are plenty of disgusting movies I have seen.

It was Ryan Reynolds spent the entire thing buried in a coffin alive trying to get out. And it became so claustrophobic to me that I had to turn it off. I couldn't continue to watch what I was watching. You're saying this thing has such disturbing material. It's not claustrophobia. Such disturbing material that you, who takes an ant...

An Anthony Jeselnik recommendation when he's dark comedy and he's telling you this is a laugh riot and he's telling you that this is going to be super strange. You immediately go listen to it and couldn't watch it. Had to stop. I watched three movies yesterday. Well, two and a half. I watched Gladiator 2. I watched Wicked. And to end my night, I started watching The Coffee Table. And I had to stop watching The Coffee Table because of what it was making me feel about

It's a great movie. It's a great premise for a movie. It's also highly disturbing and could be triggering for those in our audience. If you want, I can tell you in your ear what this movie is about and...

you will, I think, react. Well, I can't believe that none of us have heard of it, and I can't believe that all of us are staring at you, and there isn't even a curiosity that I can see among the group of, like, tell me more about what this premise is, because you've got me curious now that you don't even feel comfortable talking about it, because you're not squeamish. So, like, you go in. What was that Salt Burn movie that you were talking about? I love that movie. That movie was great. Okay, but that's got some plot twists in it. That's got discomfort. This is uncomfortable. This is not...

overly gory. It's what you don't see that really stays with you. It's about the situation that this married couple, this couple finds itself in. And the reason why you haven't heard of it is because it's a Spanish language film. This is one that's getting around by word of mouth. And everybody pretty much has the same reaction to the central plot line of this film, which is really rough, really rough.

So what are you proposing? Saying it into our ears and we decide from there? Here, I'll tell you in your ear and you tell me if you have any interest. Don't spoil it, though. Yeah, come over here. I'll whisper it. I'll go over there. Okay. Yeah, come here. All right. In the interim, and we will get to the weekend observations in a moment. Love a game of telephone. Billy, are you interested at all in this movie? Oh, no. Because Mike's, he's taking the recommendation. Anthony Jeselnik, it's been a very popular South Beach session. People appreciate.

appreciate his brand of comedy and he's got a following that is unusually loyal and he's one of the legends in the game. And so the South Beach Session has been very popular. Mike Ryan watched it, which he never does, at least in part because he loves Jeselnik so much. And the people who follow Jeselnik, he's got a giant cult following of loyalists that's uncommon for comedy because they always find him telling the truth away from comedy. I've been meaning to ask you, and it's probably better to ask you off air, but we're here now.

When you interviewed David Alan Greer, how did you not laugh? Because he was dressed like a train conductor. You thought I should have just laughed at his overalls? I walked by a TV and I was like, what is going on right now? Because it wasn't just the overalls. There was a kerchief around his neck as well, right? What was going on there? I don't know. You didn't ask? You weren't curious? I did not. Well, what would you have asked? I'd ask, how was the train ride over here? Something like that. What do you ask? I was taken aback.

I asked him an hour's worth of questions about an assortment of different things. None of which related to trains. None of them was about trains. None of them was about kerchiefs. I'm just watching Mike tell Stugatz this movie, and Stugatz is like shaking his head like I am. I don't want to see this. I want nothing to do with this movie. I mean. Watching Stugatz get that information was hilarious. Nope. Nope.

Nope. Do you know what it is, Dan? No, I do not. You don't want to see it. Now you tell Dan in his ear. Can I ask a question? I know nothing about it. Is it kid-related? Ooh, hot-cold game. I love this. Listen, I don't want to see it related, okay? If it's bad stuff with a kid, I'm out. No one wants to see this. Nobody. In fact, Mike probably regrets watching it in the first place. Well, he hasn't watched all of it. He had to turn it off. Why would you? I'm going to finish it today. No, you won't. None of you have seen Buried with Ryan Reynolds? Buried a lot, yeah.

I don't think that people go to movies to feel bad. I would say I like to go to movies to just feel or like to watch movies to just feel, but I don't think that most people want to feel bad watching a movie. I think when the plot gets going in this film, you would rather actually be buried alive.

vicariously live through this situation at this couple. All right, put the train conductor on the screen right now. There it is, Billy. Now look at it. Are you happy, Billy? Are you happy? There you go. I'm just saying it never came up. It never came up. I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything about his overalls or his kerchief. Was he promoting his new doctor show? Because he should have gone in scrubs.

He was promoting his new doctor show. He did not come and scrub. That's what he came in. That would have been more sense. A lab coat, anything.

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Save up to 50% site-wide, plus doorbusters and a free professional measure at the Blinds.com Black Friday sales event now. Rules and restrictions may apply. Don Libertard. Bob Kraft. The only reason your organization is good is because of Bill Belichick. Stugatz. Belichick has done nothing since Brady left. He made the playoffs once. I think at the very least, he should not be a first ballot Hall of Famer.

They should make him wait like 10 years to get it. He's an overrated coach. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugatz. Let's do Stugatz's weekend observations. Don't see the movie, Dan. It is time for Stugatz to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu. I got to be honest. I'm not certain I could do him. I'm rattled.

Not the greatest judgment by us to rattle Stugatz right before his featured segment. Not great producing. I mean, what Mike whispered in my ear, that should never be whispered in anyone's ear.

I mean... Not great producing. Wow. I needed somebody... Let me ask you a question, Chris Cody, executive producer. Should we table this for coffee, table this for a second so that Stugatz could gather himself? These take work. This takes an effort. He's performing. It's the most expectations he has with a segment. Do we need to stand down for a second and continue the show because we have left him in disarray? I say we push through. Weekend Observations brought to you by Miller Lite.

Great taste, just 96 calories available for delivery. Man, tough day. Dan, the last decade or so has been difficult on the book industry. Really, if I'm being honest, and I never am, the last decade or so has been tough on the written word in general. But Dan, this week, this week,

There is hope. Because, Dan, if I could do it, anyone could do it. My name is on the cover of a book that was written by Dan Stanzik and published by Random House. And, man, are they selling like crazy. And, Dan, just like that. Yeah!

Make no mistake about it. For the first time ever here on Weekend Observations, books are back. Yes. Stugatzbook.com. It has happened. It is going to happen some more in 24 hours. Just don't put the book on a coffee table. I never want to hear about a coffee table again, ever. Now I'm more curious. Now I want to watch it. Don't be. I want to watch it more than I wanted to watch it when Jezelnik recommended it. Huh.

I love a good helmet sticker. Put it on the poll, Juju, at Levitard Show. Do you love a good helmet sticker? Dan, you know what the S, I'm sorry, you know what the C in SEC stands for? I do not. I was thinking coffee table. That's all you're thinking now. Chaos, yes. It is a bit of chaos. It stands for chaos. It is. There is going to be a seven loss SEC team in the playoffs. Yep. Who does Harvard and Yale think they are calling their game the game?

I mean, it's not the game. It's the game that no one cares about. The audacity. You're saying that Harvard and Yale might be arrogant? No. That they would think their game is the only game? I forgot who I was talking to. No. Rattle, coffee tip. No.

Pablo does plenty of annoying things, telling people how often he went to an Ivy League score. School is high among them. Night game in Tempe. Tricky. Dan, you know what the T in Tempe stands for? Tricky. Good guess, but no. I understand why you would guess that, but it stands for tough place to play.

When they're good. Really? You set a trap for me and I went right into it. Yep. Reminder, the New York Giants picked Daniel Jones over Saquon Barkley. Bo Nix tried to tell you, Dan. You starting to believe? Did you try to tell us? I did. You did? Yeah. Okay. You believing?

What are they, 7-5? Yep. Wild card team. I will tell you something that came over me yesterday that I was surprised by. Watching the end of that game. Oh, I trust Bo Nix more than I do Minshew. Oh, yeah. Minshew's a veteran, and I trust a rookie more than I trust... I was surprised by that. I was surprised it swept over me during Raiders-Broncos. You can't spell miss the playoffs without the M-I-S-S in Mississippi.

That's a bad loss. That's a terrible loss. Don't look now, but the Florida Gators may have found themselves a quarterback. Mike Ryan. Look at Mike Ryan got his back up when I said I was a bad loss. It's the best win on Miami's entire schedule is that Florida win. It keeps getting better. It keeps getting better over the last month. Not so easy to go in as a ranked team into the swamp, huh? Okay. Oh, but it happened in September. It doesn't count. Right.

Dan Stanzik, using my idea, my takes, my name, and my relationships, which are really Dan's relationships, to write a book. Stanzik, I'm proud of you. And the Stugatz is strong in you. Stugatzbook.com. It's happening, people. It's happening. Indiana played their way out of the playoffs. And the SEC played them back in.

It's crazy what happened. That is what happened. Yes. They started the day in, then they were out, and then they were back in. What a day for Indiana. Are you guys with me at all on the fact that I would have liked to have seen those two special teams touchdowns? I'd like to have seen a different game from Indiana. I think people are going to dismiss them too easily. Dan, you can't spell in the playoffs without the I-N in Indiana. Are we sure C.J. Stroud is good?

He's getting sacked a lot. Yeah, he's thrown a lot of bad interceptions too. But he's getting sacked a lot. I think those two things go together. I mean, maybe he's got Nico back. Maybe. I don't know. I think those things go together. I think your game gets a lot worse. He wasn't hit all that much the first season. It was weird. Right.

It might be time to stop asking if something's off in Kansas City and start asking if something is brewing in Carolina. No. No. Come on. I got a feeling they're turning things around. How about that? You got a feeling? Yeah. See what I did there? Panthers, best loss by any team this season and maybe ever. That actually gets them in the CFP.

Bryce Young has been upgraded from a pulse to a heartbeat.

What? Bryce Young might be good, man. Oh, come on. Dan, I'm telling you what happened yesterday. It's the perfect scenario for Carolina yesterday. You hung with Kansas City. You didn't win the game. You don't want to win the game. Bryce Young left too much time for Patrick Mahomes, but that's okay because you didn't want to win the game. And maybe you have a quarterback. That's a productive day for Carolina. What's above a heartbeat in this situation? I don't know.

That's a good question, Roy. I don't know why you laugh so much, but I don't. I've never heard that before. It's an asinine thing to say. Put it on the poll, please, at Levitard Show. Did Bryce Young go from pulse to heartbeat? I feel better about my bet. If you have a pulse, don't you have a heartbeat? Yeah. You like this one? What happened there?

If you have a pulse, you have a heartbeat. Correct. If you have a heartbeat, you have a pulse. Yeah, but pulses can be tricky and deceiving. They can be. It depends on the pulse. I don't think you actually upgraded anything there. I think Bryce Young is still in the same state that he was in before.

I think you're right. So are the Panthers. Everything is the same as it was before. A rattle, a coffee table. Nothing has changed just because they played Kansas City close as everyone has. You haven't heard about the coffee table yet. All right? I mean, cut me some slack. Okay, fair enough. All right. I feel better about my bet if my team gets the ball at halftime. If my team gets the ball to start the game, it might as well be a loss. Rip up the tickets.

You're afraid of the first possession of the second? I wish I could make bets after the coin toss. Put it on the poll, please, Juju at Levittime Show. Do you wish you could make bets after the coin toss? Technically, you can, but you've got to be quick. Deion Sanders said, we lost because we didn't play Colorado football. No, Deion. You lost because you played Colorado football. Finally, someone talking about Deion Sanders.

All it took was a loss. Mike, did you pick Kansas? Put the town on alert. Oh, yeah. Third straight double unit. Put the town on alert. Rock Chalk. Man, I'm locked into that team. Mike was telling you all week. He was warning. He was shouting it from the mountains. Yeah. Look, Kansas has been playing better lately. Can't just go on the road and win college football games anymore. Yeah.

Did you see that Kansas had a punter that was celebrating Senior Day? He's from Australia. His parents flew 21 hours to watch him, and they didn't punt. Wow. That's unfortunate. Saying a manager got sacked is so much better than saying a coach got fired.

It is. It is. They sacked him. What is that, though? How does that originate? Is it someone placing a sack over somebody? It originates, Mr. Walk-In from...

I've heard it in the UK. It's always like a rap song. It originates. And anytime someone's losing a bad game, you'll hear the crowd sing, Sacked in the morning. The thing I'm asking you, does it mean taking someone out in a sack? Is that what it means? I would assume that. Right. Yeah, I don't think it means Max Crosby is getting Jose Mourinho out. Like you move things in a sack? You clean out an office? Is that? Okay, I'm sorry to ask so many questions. That's how it originates.

In honor of the top Jewish quarterback names, the top five basketball player names, if they were Jewish. Oh, wow. Okay. O-L-I. Victor Wembenyamaka. That's so good. Number five. Corey Hebrewer. Number four. LeBronica James. Number three. Joe Mazzuzza. Number two. Shabbat Napier. Number three.

Bravo. And number one, Chris Boshashana. I saw an Orthodox Jew plays for Texas A&M. What? Yeah, I think he's believed to be the first in college football history. He can only actually play. There was only one game he could actually suit up for and play in as a walk-on. Yes, because if you're Orthodox, you shut off everything. You can't do anything the entire weekend, essentially. Sam Soles. Interesting.

Do it against Alabama. Used to mean something. Dallas Cowboys. Bad win. I figured it out. The Alabama thing. It used to mean something. Doing it against Nick Saban. Now you're doing it against Kalen DeBoer. It's a big difference. Big one. I mean, Oklahoma's bad, correct? Yeah. A bad football team. Not a mediocre football team. Oklahoma's bad. Mm-hmm.

Just their second conference win? And they blow out Alabama. They win by 17 points. Alabama can't do anything offensively. Every single team that someone would have ventured to say is the best team in the SEC outside of Georgia lost in embarrassing passion. Every loss in the SEC should count as a quality loss. No? That was a bad one against Oklahoma, dude. I know.

You guys were talking about Kansas. If there was a national championship for the team who plays the best spoiler this year, it would go to Kansas. There. Maybe Florida. But Kansas, they live to play spoiler.

Florida, they don't want to play spoiled. They want to be spoiled. There was talk of Billy Napier being coach of the year this weekend. Oh, knock it off. He should be. I think Kirk Herbstreit said it. He held the team together. I mean, they didn't quit on him. So, wait a minute. We were going from talking about his buyout four games in.

Come on. Okay, we're going to fast forward all of the employment status that way that you go from what's the buyout four games in to coach of the year five games later. Interesting. Billy Napier should win coach of the year. People are talking about it. LSU Ole Miss, I mean, they're clicking at the right time. Ole Miss, the playoffs. You are sunshine today, Billy. You are a voice. I'm trying, man. You're a voice of positivity today.

If we got rid of kickers, would anyone be that upset? Got rid of them? Like in a purge? Well, no. They could still live. Okay. Just eliminate them? Just the position. Yeah, why are you killing all the kickers? I didn't kill anyone. He said eliminate. I said get rid of them from the sport. He didn't say from the sport. He said get rid of them. Like dispose of them. Sack them.

You can take Arizona State out of the Pac-12, but you can't take the Pac-12 out of Arizona State. Mo Salah. If I looked like that, I'd also take my shirt off when I scored a goal. Holy cow. Mo Salah. Jackson Dart was going to end that game with an interception and would not be denied. It looked like that. Yeah. USC. UCLA. Classic Big Ten matchup.

College football is weird. I do love how screwed up it is. It's so good. It is so good that any weekend you're watching, it's just like, yeah, everybody can lose. Yeah. I think it's just everybody can lose. Crazy. I can't resist a good snot rocket on a golf course. I mean, golf courses are like heaven for snot rockets, right? I mean, there's very few things that get you right more than a snot rocket.

I can see media. It's like a Bloody Mary. At Levitard Show, are golf courses heaven for a snot rocket? Top five things I can't resist. Number five, the Dolphins as heavy favorites at home against a bad team. Can't do it.

Number four, a goof parlay. So wait, the Dolphins are what the Chiefs used to be where you still believe in their offense enough that you will never trust getting points against them. Yeah, against the bad team though. Against the bad ones.

Your hope is they do what they did yesterday. What is the goof parlay you've told us before? It's just a wacky parlay, you know, a couple of different teams and over catches, you know, something just, you know, like a $10 parlay that wins you like $10,000. That's never going to come in. If I'm...

loading up my betting slate for the day and I have $10 left on my account, that $10 is going to be in a parlay that would pay me out approximately $34,000. Today's going to be my day. So you got to go 16 and 0? Something like that. Something like that. Number three, ripping James Franklin.

Number two. What's happened there? That's over the last 12 months. Did you just... You lost Harbaugh because Harbaugh won a championship and you just needed to go and find somebody? You turned on James Franklin from one day to the next and you've been crushing him for 12 months. Yeah, what happened was Harbaugh won a national championship and then he left. So you needed to pivot. Okay, you didn't want to go after day? No, I mean...

He wins too much. Yeah, I'm nervous for Day, though. Right now, I am. I'm nervous for Saturday already for Ryan Day because they play Michigan in the game. That's the real game. So I'm nervous for Ryan Day. But no, I just... James Franklin's my guy. It's him or Lincoln Riley. Blah, blah, blah. Number two, a good NBA two-team teaser. Can't resist it. And number one, a good book. Stugatzbook.com. Here come the Flames. They're good.

Keep an eye on them. If the committee said they weren't putting George in the playoff based solely on the fact that they were trailing 7-0 to UMass, I'd be okay with it. The Minute Man, Rick Pitino. Congratulations to Mike Norvell for not having to add another L to his last name. 11 seasons and still no playoff appearances for Jackson Dart.

I think it's just me. I feel like the guy's been around forever. I did love during the UM game, Mark Jones saying his ninth year of eligibility. Just hearing that phrase is so good. Weird time. I love a golf ball with a cool logo on it. Yeah.

Kids riding around on one of those electric bikes. Got news for you. You're not riding a bike. Electric bikes. Do me a favor. Enough. Kids riding around on those electric bikes. Do yourselves a favor. Go exercise. Thanks. I mean, Jesus, what are we teaching these kids? Electric bikes. Ride a bike.

Spokes and ride a bike. That's a good point. Thank you. Stugatz is dead on. Get a Schwinn. Stugatz is dead on on this. Mongoose. There must be so many more hospital visits now because people are riding around on these motorcycle bikes thinking that they're exercising. Do yourself a favor. Go to the bike store, buy a Huffy, okay, and then ride the bike. How about that?

Electric bikes. Huffy. Roy, can you look up for me how Huffy's doing these days? Because he just summoned a brand from the 1980s that I'm not sure is still around. I haven't heard Huffy in a long time. Roy, they had their best year sales year ever last year. Check it out, bikes.com. I was just there. I was there over the weekend because I was thinking about electric bikes and how they're doing in sales. They're not doing that great. But Huffy had a year last year.

But I think they make electric bikes. That's the thing. I think you're just lying. You just keep lying. Roy, find Huffy for me and tell me how they're doing. Huffy does make electric bikes now. Yeah, that's not good. What are we teaching these kids? Ride a bike. C.J. Stroud, the Dan Orlovsky is strong in you. Dan, you know what the S in C.J. Stroud stands for? Safety? Sophomore slump.

I know it sounds crazy, but the Titans somehow overcame their own quarterback to beat the Texans. No, that's exactly what happened. It doesn't sound crazy. That's the Will Evans experience, Bailey. Players on Notre Dame do it at the Army. Boston College, the rare college football program whose floor will always be six wins and their ceiling will always be seven wins. No team covers a spread in the fourth quarter quite like Miami.

Dan, you know what Ohio State did on Saturday? Took care of business? No, they did, but they also reminded everyone that they were Ohio State and that Indiana was still Indiana. That is what they did. Mm-hmm.

That was the best witching hour of all time. Sorry, Dana. No, that's okay. That's exactly what they did, though. You nailed that one. That's exactly what happened. Wow. We agree on an observation. How about that witching hour? Best one of all time. The games didn't mean anything, but it was awesome. I'm going to say it again, all right, for those of you who did not hear me earlier.

Me, Chris, and Stugatz are like, no reason to watch these games. And then there's Mahomes for 33 yards running again to save their 10-1 season. The Bears tie it on an onside kick. The Titans have just beaten the Texans. We didn't see that coming. And the Cowboys and Commanders are scoring four touchdowns in three minutes. Mm-hmm.

Including that turbo-turban spin move from a video game, which is who's crazy enough that you're a sociopath to turn your back to charging people on a kickoff. Daniel Jones, San Francisco 49ers, collision course. Sidney Crosby scored his 600th career goal. Sid the Kid, sorry, Roy. Roy. He got in a fight over the weekend, too. It was worth noting, Roy. I mean...

Terrible. Sid got in a fight. He dropped the gloves. Yeah. It wasn't great, but he dropped the gloves. Mm-hmm. He used to get in one fight a year. Now it's like one fight every two seasons. Right. Respect, though? I mean... No.

The number one recruit in the country reportedly got $12 million to commit to Michigan. Hell happened to college football. Speaking of hell, Harper Isles. Dan, those are the weekend observations. Was Tom Brady involved with that recruitment at Michigan? I saw some reports. A lot of people were apparently involved in that. It's a

It's a bold strategy. That's a lot of money for a high school kid, yeah. But that's where this is going to keep going if you make it no salary cap, free market. Hey, do you want to get good at college football? That was fun when we won the championship and we had Connor Stallions and Jim Harbaugh and everything else. $12 million gets us back into that game? Okay, that's worth it.

But I think Mike is right. That is a bold strategy. I'd rather see the kid play first, like what the Canes did with Cam Ward. I'd rather know he's going to be good than guess if he's going to be good. I think you could look at what Tennessee did in that they paid their quarterback a lot of money with the hope that he would be there for four years. And you realize that if Tennessee maybe changed their approach and got like a Dylan Gabriel or a Cam Ward, Tennessee's probably a national championship. If I may, just real quick, because I love this part of it and I understand that we're galloping on like –

that the sport keeps growing and there are rules, but we're kind of throwing everything we used to do out and doing it differently. Now you do understand that if,

boosters think they can actually buy themselves into this game, there's no keeping this part of it down. Like, this is anybody who wants to get in the game who wants a quarterback. Portnoy and Tom Brady want Michigan to feel like they did two years ago. They can throw $12 million at that. It doesn't cost them. Like, it doesn't cost those people anything. Well, two things will change it. Number one,

People will realize that's a lot of money for an 18-year-old that gets in the way of building out a team, and it's probably not the best way to spend money. I would prefer keeping my powder dry for the portal and taking something a little bit more proven, but that'll work itself out. Number two is the NCAA is going to get its way. They are going to get safe harbor status. And so the election kind of almost cemented that.

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