The Big Suey: It's All Fun And Games, Baby
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Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Stu Gatz has a updated list on Jewish quarterbacks in celebration of the Jewish quarterback for BYU. BYU. BYU. Is anyone making those t-shirts? Because if they are not, I believe those t-shirts are something that should be made because this is the best BYU team we've seen in a minute. The most relevant BYU team that we have seen.

in a minute. Probably, can I dare say this? I'm going to say, am I going to go back to either Ty Detmer or their undefeated seasons of Steve Young to go back and find, bring them young teams that might be as good as this one? I think Steve Young, Ty Detmer, Robbie Bosco, all those teams, right? You have to go back to like the early 80s to find a BYU team that was this good. What was the last BYU team to win the championship?

Was it the undefeated one late 80s vote that won the national championship that was 13-0? Maybe 90s? We will look that up in a second. But Stugatz has another list, and we will get to it in a moment. I want to get to the Mike Tyson-Jake Paul fight as well. And there was a fight in hockey last night in the Panthers game that I want to get to. BYU won it in 1984. I believe it was Ty Detmer. No, no. Ty Detmer was after that.

wasn't it? Yes, that's not tied up. Maybe Robbie Bosco.

Great quarterback name, by the way. It is a great quarterback name. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Is Robbie Bosco a great quarterback name? Chris, I was surprised and delighted in the last segment because you did almost effortlessly and proudly a read of a GameTime app, that GameTime ad that was professionally done, segued well, and your reading was, much to my surprise, excellent.

Excellent. However, you made what I'm going to call a tragic mistake.

And I don't think I'm overstating it. You cannot do an ad in which you get the information wrong on what someone's savings can be. You have now false advertised by reading something that I thought you read well in the worst way you could possibly read it. Because it would be better if you stumbled all over it than you told people during a live read that they're getting more of a discount than what it is you've advertised. That's right. And this is a good old-fashioned, what we call in the business, a make good. And here it is.

Download the GameTime app, create an account, use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase, which is a huge savings. But not as huge as 20% off, which is what you said. It honestly depends on how cheap the tickets are. Mistakes happen. Honestly. So I don't know. But it was a mistake by me. Use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download the GameTime app. And we remind you, Tony, what time is it?

Game time. Is that going to haunt you forever? I mean... I'm like Spoh. I'm like Billy, how Billy thinks Spoh is. I'm good. Yeah, you'll be fine. Shake it off. Yes, that's right. That is why you're not as excellent at coaching as Eric Spoh is. He's won two titles. Like...

Get over it. Should have won four. I mean, we digress. You're not wrong. Billy, and you're not wrong either. Like, yes, Eric Spolstra should be gentle and forgiving on himself in a way that is humane and kind and decent to himself based on a lifetime of success. He will not be.

It is not the way that human being is built. I mean, they're going to lose plenty of games this year. Why let this one be the one that bothers you? Billy, you are right as a life coach, as a therapist, as a philosopher. You are correct if you're trying to lead Eric Spolster to happiness. To sanity.

But it's not how he wins championships. It's a cop-out. He's going to be like, well, the whole season fell apart because of this. It's like, no, it's all the other losses, bud. You should have been a better coach all those other games, too. Not just the one loss. It wasn't the timeout that derailed this season. I'm a little confused. Jimmy playing 40 games this year. I'm confused why Billy's confused about this. He rarely is the reason that they lose. This was him. It's on him, yes. If you believe in coaching, he's always the reason they lose. That's the difference in other losses. Third quarter adjustments.

I will tell people some of the stories in the relationship that Pat Riley and Eric Spolstra have because it is a fascinating relationship, at least in part because Spolstra, not unlike Billy, Mike, Chris and Roy, grew up in a professional environment where Riley was daddy. And the way that Riley lives is there is winning and there is misery.

I do not think of Pat Riley as a happy person. And he's done a lot of winning because there's so much misery around the way that these people care that makes winning feel like a relief sometimes instead of a joy. Eric Spolstra learned at Riley's knee and has had so much success that he he'll brawl with Riley in a way that.

is healthy and the way that you might think of a father and son arguing because of what we're talking about here, where Eric Spolster knows no other basketball life under the, other than working under that man. And that man knows you cost them the game last night.

Like, in a way that is a real suffering for these guys who care about, can I get this guy this much of an advantage so he can be a better player? It's not even that Spohr minds the televised embarrassment. It's not even that he cares deeply about his job.

He's got to walk into that room where those guys are giving their body to the cause and be like, man, I'm always telling you guys to be better. And I'm the one with the amateur brain fart at the end. That hurts him most.

with his players and coworkers because he single-handedly brought that into the building today. Well, not single-handedly. Bam cost him the game yesterday. Yeah. What do you imagine the conversation was like after the game with Spoh and Riley? Yeah. What do you imagine? Riley probably knows how much he's going to wear, right, and takes it easy on him. I assume they don't talk at all after that. And I would further assume that if...

If Riley dares to talk to him, it's to offer him comfort and support because as a coach, he would know how bad that would feel. I'm telling you, there's not a worse feeling than that one for a coach anywhere in sports. Like it's not losing a championship.

It's single-handedly being responsible for betraying the guys who count on you when they count on you to give them a sliver of advantage. But we're acting like this game was in the Eastern Conference Finals, not a game that could have gotten them to 5-5 on the season. And now they're 4-6. Oh, no. In a season where there's...

understandable pressure given where the core is at. You have a game like that one where you were getting blown out of the building by the Pistons early in the game. You claw all the way back. Tyler Hero has one of these types of games that get you back into it. They get to overtime. Tyler hits a go-ahead bucket with two seconds left and

And just purely out of the frustration and confusion as to how a play happens, Spoh loses his mind. And not just like...

calls a timeout oh it doesn't happen they get a technical with the rule being they get the ball back that ends the game so this could have been a game that goes to double overtime Tyler leads him back you feel great you're on a six game road trip where now you get to five and five with back-to-back games against Indiana you're feeling so much better than you did at the start of this year where things have been weird and

and now that game ends up a loss despite all the good things to take away from it. Those are the types of games that do keep coaches up at night. I think that everything that Billy is saying is totally reasonable. And I think what Eric Spolster does for a living is not.

And the way that it has to be approached is not. Like, Billy is absolutely saying, come on, coach, have some perspective. And I'm sitting here thinking to myself, maybe the Derek White game felt that bad because of the stakes involved, who you're playing. Different for Spoh, though, because that wasn't necessarily...

100% his move. This is one of the only times in basketball where a coach can make a move that directly costs their team the game or at least the opportunity to win the game because it would have just gone to double overtime. Well, get it together because you have another NBA Cup game coming up and we can't let this one affect the rest of this group stage of the tournament. Get it together, Spoh. We can't let this keep us up at night. Focus on the next game against the Pacers. Billy, I...

Imagine if this season unravels because of this. Because he can't get it together. That's not what we need. We need now more than ever for Spoh to be a leader against the Pacers. Move on. I would actually like...

To have you lead us into a lighter, more joyful tomorrow by being the life coach. I know you're trying. And I would say that there is great learning to be done in the wisdom that you are presently giving Eric Spolster, who I'm sure is listening to this show right now. Probably not. Because he wants to consume every single thing today that's being said about an intergalactic brain fart.

I would tell him don't listen to anything today. Coach, if you're listening now, turn it off. I mean, put it on mute. We don't want our ratings to be affected, but put it on mute and walk away. But don't listen to anything else. Not today, buddy.

I think that buddy felt a little condescending the same way that my Latch, Rene Latchman baby felt condescending. No, it was a buddy. Like, we're friends. You didn't say it like that. Take a mental health day. I didn't say it like that. You know what I mean? I did say, Latch, you're in your underwear. I did not say it's all fun. That's something you would say. It's all fun and games, baby, is not what I said to Rene Latchman. Tidy whities for Latch, we assume, right? Yeah, absolutely. It's...

Who would say it that way? Because I'm going to make a musty reference, but I sounded like Telly Savalas. I sounded like Kojak. I don't know. I don't know why I threw a baby at the end of that story. Either of those people. Wow. That's unfortunate. Terry what? Uh,

It is Kojak, and his name is Telly. Telly, not Terry. He looks kind of like Pitbull. Telly Savalas. He looks like Dana White. Yeah, silent T on the last name. Bezos kind of. Go ahead. Yes, it's just another bald guy. The keeper for Atlanta FC that got caught in the net. Just anybody. Guzman. Yes, anybody.

Pinhead from Hellraiser. Go ahead, video. Find Telly Savalas for us. Kojak. Kojak was of a time that was so cool, Tony, you guys wouldn't even understand that he was a detective who solved cases, and he did it while sucking on a lollipop. How's that? Yeah, cool. How's that? And he was bald. And America loved him because he solved stuff while bald, and he would say things like, who loves you, baby? If Greg brought him up, you would...

crush him. This guy was born in 1922. Agreed. But it's the last time that I can remember someone... He looks like Dracula. He does look like Bela Lugosi. And I love that the photo they're using is black and white, as if Kojak wasn't on television that had

The first episode was in 1973. Who else would use the phrase baby famously at the end of a sentence, though? Austin Powers. Okay, that would have been... Yes, thank you. But he does say it facetiously. Well, no, I guess he does try and say it cool the same way that Telly did. Old Telly did. Telly Tavares. Oh.

I am right now a child. I'm on the floor as a child. I'm a six-year-old watching this because my dad loves it. And Kojak was the coolest back then. Telly's name was Aristotelus. Wow. Oh, man, you got to keep it the way that it was. You can't make that Telly.

That name, his actual name is better than Telly. It's cooler than Telly. I like Telly. I like Telly too, but how do you spell what you're saying there? Aristotle what? It's like Aristotle and then L-I-S at the end. A-R-I-S-T-O-T-E-L-I-S. Aristotelus.

Aristotelis or Aristoteles? I like that. That's pretty strong. Which do you like better? He's Greek-American. Put it on the poll, please. Judrat Lebitard Show. Cooler name, Telly or Aristoteles?

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That's 50% off at omahasteaks.com and an extra $30 off with promo code D-A-N. Minimum purchase may apply. Don Levitard. But it's just his titties are sitting on the shelf that is his belly. Stugatz. He said titties and it shocked me a little bit. I wasn't quite prepared for titties. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

Can you guys find for me the fight from last night's Panther game? They lost last night. They had the longest winning streak in the sport, right? It was seven games. Can you tell me, is Winnipeg converting on half of its power plays? Is it up?

to half where they're converting at like a rate greater than McDavid? I told you yesterday, watch out for that team. You did say that. The Panthers lose last night and the fight was pretty epic. If this happened in basketball, we would raid the facilities with a bunch of authorities and never allow anyone to play basketball again. But it's hockey, so we just watch it and enjoy it. 42.2% on the power play. Jesus!

Yeah, okay. So they just score every time they've got a power play. Watch out. Yes, watch out for the Jets. Not Stugatz's Jets, the other Jets. I actually want to play this with the sound because it has a funny call. So let's hit this, guys. And now we've got a drop of the boys. Heavyweight battle. Gajevic throwing blows with Brendan Dillon. Wow. Oy yi yi. Yeah. These are two tough, tough customers. Thank you. Thank you, sir.

Tough customers, as a phrase, Tony was asking, where does that come from? Tough customers. Because that was a good deal beyond tough customers, what I was just watching. It's a tough cookie. It was several realms. Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at Levitard Show. Tougher, cookies or customers? For the audio audience, the Panther somehow wins the fight while having his jersey over his head. Well, because he didn't get hit.

I mean, it was just like crazy. At one point, the jersey, the Panther jersey is over his head. So you're like, oh, this is bad news for him. And he goes on to win the fight, not being able to see. All right, let's do this, please. Just real quick. Restart the video in a moment. And I want, Chris, I want you and me to count on each side. I'll count the number of punches being thrown by the Panther. Okay.

You count the number of punches thrown by the New Jersey Devil. And I will just cover this with you because the video audience can see what we're showing, but the audio audience doesn't understand that this fight, Roy, you help me with this. Yeah.

This is super unusual to see these two guys throw haymakers, not just these two guys, but any two guys throw this many haymakers just holding on to each other. This is an unusual length for this to last without anyone getting in the way or anyone going down. No, this looked like a late 80s, early 90s fight.

Just so I'm clear, who is counting what? I'm going to count the Panther punches. Are we starting it again? Chris Cody is going to count the Devil punches. Because I want to give to the audio audience the understanding here of this is a fight that's lasting a good, what, 25 seconds? Yeah, and it's just constant punches. And it's just constant right hands from each of them. Go ahead and start it again. Go. Go.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 34. All of them can't.

of them connecting. Devil only 33. All of them connecting though. It's not like 34 and some of them are grazing. What was that? ESPN gave a number. They gave 37. That was an insane fight. That's what that was. That was Brendan Dillon, the Devils, and Jonah Gajewicz, the Panthers. So 37 was the number? Yeah. Is that a fine for Dan? That's unofficial. Wow.

It was lots to guts. I don't know if you think you're being helpful here. You're not. You're not. You're not. I was trying to organize it. Who's counting who? The messier it is, the funnier it is, the more ridiculous it is. I don't know why this is the moment you want order all of a sudden. I just wanted to find you. Today is the day you've decided, okay, everybody, let's get it together and do this correctly. Order, I say.

Who is that? That was from Titanic. Ah. The guy when there's people are going crazy and he like has to shoot in the air because they want to get on the boat. He's like, order! Order, I say! You have a lot of Titanic impressions. I'm a child! It's a good flick. Stop on it every time. I've never seen it. Overrated. What? I know how it ends. I'm good.

Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at Levitard Show. Is Titanic overrated as a movie? Tough customer is an idiom that refers to a person or thing that is difficult to deal with. But why? Why are they called? Because sometimes customers, Dan. They're tough. They're a pain in the ass. Wait, is your definition of tough customer just a customer that's difficult to deal with?

That is. He looked for a formal definition. That's a definition, right. I read it beautifully, by the way. Who said that first is what kind of weird. Yeah, I'm not looking for what tough customer means. I know what tough customer means. See, a customer is someone who purchases things. I'm trying to figure out how it is that the customer became so tough that all of a sudden I'd be watching a fight where someone is taking 35 blows to the face, and the phrase that I'm using is, that's one tough customer. Well, Tony told you.

Did you guys know Ving Rhames was Kojak? Tony said when you were talking about Kojak, he goes, I thought it was Ving Rhames. That's the only Kojak I know, Ving Rhames 2005. When was he, did he do a remake of Kojak? He did? Oh yeah. 33% on Rotten Tomatoes, but he did it. There was a black Kojak? Yeah, so when you said Kojak, I was like, oh, Ving Rhames is black.

And then I saw that guy as a Dracula. It's not the same guy. Roy, I'm asking you this question because you're a buff of trivia, not because you're black. Did you know that there was a black Kojak? Yeah. Okay. Nine episodes, that show. Gone too soon, Dan. Thank you. Bojack. What? Bojack.

Bo Jackson? Blow Jack? Black? Yeah, I understand. Thanks, Chris. Co-Black was right there. In 1984, Robbie Bosco was the quarterback for BYU. Trevor Maddich was the center. Wow, no wonder he talks about BYU all the time.

I didn't realize that Trevor Manich was on the undefeated team that, again, at the end of the season, you know how they decided? A bunch of sports writers got together and just said, they're champions. That's how that got decided back then. Here's a name on that team that you'll love. Bye, Sikahema. What a team! How much of our audience is learning right now? In the day of Kojak, people just wandered over and voted. Yeah, I think they're the best.

That's how we decided the champion in college football, like 60 sports writers. We're like, yeah. Sometimes there were ties. Oh, yeah.

I mean, is it crazier than saying, like, I think this is the eighth best team in the country right now. No, we still do it the same. It's just as ridiculous. But you guys make fun of me every time I say the championship measurements are stupid. The bracket throws me off. Enough of this bracket. It's weird. UM is nine, but they're fourth in the bracket, so they're really four. Right. Georgia's on the outside looking in, but they're ranked ahead of Boise State. The whole thing is weird. Wait, you guys aren't in on this? I'm in on this 12-team playoffs.

I love the bracket. I love it. I love that everyone's still in it. No, I've completely flipped my opinion on this because before the season, I was railing against it. I like college football the way it was, but I am sold on it. You just ripped it. The way they present it is a little bit confusing. Yeah, the presentation could be cleaned up a bit. There is an interesting thing here. This is not the best crew to discuss it with, though, because the divide that we have on our show,

is to me where it is a lot of people in college football are, where you have Lucy and Mike and Jessica playing.

rabidly arguing over the details and Stugatz wandering over just being like, yeah, I like seven teams. I think I could put this one here and there. And I think a lot of people are doing it the way Stugatz is doing it. Including the committee. Yeah, yeah. Tell me when it's all over. I'll, you know, there are the people who care rabidly and will argue about this nonstop. And then there are a lot of people who are like, yeah, I care plenty on weekends, but not as much as you.

And I'll see you in a few weeks or a few months when the games are being decided. And all of them are welcome in the tent. I just think that one group gets really frustrated by the other. And I don't think it's Stugatz caring enough to get frustrated by Jessica, Lucy and Mike and the way that they care about this, which is totally different from the way Stugatz cares about it, which is just give me a tournament with Alabama and the five teams that beat Alabama.

And even if Alabama's got five losses, I just want to see Alabama play the SEC teams. Yeah, do it against Alabama. I mean, listen, I don't criticize them for taking it so seriously. They should not criticize others for not taking it that seriously. But that's what happens whenever somebody cares deeply about something that someone else doesn't care about enough except to criticize.

Like, that's the whole thing. The whole game is somebody cares deeply. You never care. You only care enough to bitch about it, and you don't know anything. People get frustrated by you being that person. The quarterback coach for that BYU team, Mike Holmgren. I might not know anything about the college football playoff rankings, but I do know that ultimately, because it's a TV product picked by the TV network—

the matchups are just going to be whatever sets up for the best possible storylines, right? Like, there's no way that they're not factoring that in when they're picking a 12-team playoff now because ultimately, like, you look at it right now, Tennessee sitting at eight, they have a matchup where if they win, all right, it's Josh Heupel against his former quarterback in Dylan Gabriel. You have Alvarez

Alabama and Indiana, which is interesting because it's the team that's never been there against the team that's always there. Ultimately, it's a TV product, and now that it's not just four teams, they're already on SEC Network doing the groundwork to make you believe that a one-loss Indiana that loses to Ohio State shouldn't be as valuable as a potential three-loss SEC team because...

It's about their tie-ins, their networks, their conferences, and the best possible storylines. I think, didn't McAfee have someone on yesterday, a committee member who said, she said, I believe. Yeah, it was Heather Dinich. A three-loss SEC team, sure, I'd put them in. Well, you said ultimately a TV, made-for-TV product.

been a made-for-TV product and always been a made-for-TV product that does a very good job of disguising that it's a made-for-TV product because you want it to be about merit, argument, sports discussion, and we're still doing it the way the sports writers did where they're just like, yeah, I think them would make a good story. Ha ha ha ha!

And we're pretending that it's something else. But no, it's a bunch of people getting together and giving you exactly the menu items that you want so that you can be entertained because it's all fun and games, baby. But we've also learned that like...

rewarding the record doesn't work. Like we've had a lot of blowouts in the 14 playoff system that were not competitive games because it's like, Hey, let's put this team in because they deserve to be there. Let's give them a seat at the table. And it's like, Oh no, they're not as good as an sec team after all. That is my concern.

Of the 12 teams, how many of those teams actually have a real chance of winning a national championship? Well, this year more than ever. This year, yes. I would agree. And it's totally different than it has been. And the secret sauce that the NFL has that college football does not have is, oh, in the NFL, they're really all kind of equal every single weekend. College football is closer to that. But you guys know who you think are the best six teams in the country, right?

Like, you know who you take and put there. We'd all largely agree. And then the other six will surprise us to make some sort of, you know, or will or won't surprise us because one game samples. But all of us would agree on whatever the best six or eight teams are that we'll get in easily. And now we'll just argue about the other four as opposed to arguing about just four. But all of it has always been only a made for television event because it's disguised as something else. But

you do understand that right it is oh yeah only a made for television event like we file it under sports and we make it oh maybe this will be measurements and merit based and everything else but it's only meant to entertain you and it does that wildly successfully i'm okay if the committee is saying to themselves hey what are the games that are going to entertain the public the most and that's the feel they put out there for us to see but stugatz the

people who care the most get mad at that and those people is what I'm saying because they want it to be merit based not entertainment based what I'm saying to you about what we're discussing is it's the source of tension between people who care about something deeply it's the source of tension between Spoh and Bill

Yeah. I mean, there's no tension there. I'm fine. I'm trying to help him out. He's trying to help him out. Life coach. Exactly right. Yeah. And I would say, by the way, the people that get frustrated are the people that were arguing that FSU should have been in the playoffs last year. And look at FSU this year. Obviously, they lost a lot of people. Well, that's the point. FSU should not have been in the playoffs last year. Why? It's one season. Yeah.

Because they got blown out in their bowl game. They lost by like 60 points. They lost their quarterback. So that's why they deserved it. They deserved it based off merit. You win every single game, you're supposed to be there. That's why we're saying it's a made-for-TV product. And that's not necessarily a bad thing for the result. Because ultimately, look, I was the guy caping up for undefeated UCF in 2017, right? But the team that went in ahead of them was the team that was led by Jalen Hurts to the college football playoff as a four seed that ends with one.

one of the great college football moments of Tua throwing a pass at the end of the game to win it over Georgia, a four seed that ultimately wins that was a two loss Alabama that was picked ahead of an undefeated UCF. The committee does a good job. They create good storylines. They create what they believe to be the four most competitive teams in that case, now the 12. And it's better that there are things in place like the highest group of five team or the four highest ranked conference champions to now give at least a little validity to the

hey, winning all of your games matters. But they were proven right. FSU was not one of the four best teams after losing their quarterback. But then we're having a conversation about what are the four best teams at the end of the season and who had the four best seasons because those are two different arguments. And if the whole premise is the season doesn't matter,

It's about peaking at the end and having a resume that's good enough for me to argue you're now one of the four best teams. That's different than the rest of professional sports. It's necessary here because of the disparity between conferences, but it's not the same as arguing that any of this is merit-based.

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He's the one who's got to, like, worry about what the future is. And Mike Ryan bet on DraftKings because Mike Ryan bet on us. This is the bet you're afraid of doubling down on? Putting up a billboard in Edmonton? Stugatz! I care more about Matthew Kachuk than I do my daughter. This is the Dan Levitas Show with the Stugatz. Stugatz!

Stugatz, I didn't expect when we began today to end up in a discussion about last year's FSU Seminoles when I can enjoy this year's FSU Seminoles being 1-9. 9-Ls, yeah. Norvell spelled with 9-Ls. Yeah, 1984 BYU team, their wide receivers coach, Norm Chow.

By the way, Dan, I don't know if you intentionally did this or not, but we found a reason for hope for you in the last segment. I don't even think you're aware of it. You said that the big difference between college and the NFL is that NFL teams are all essentially the same. So if all the teams are essentially the same, then three and six team is something to be hopeful for if they're all in a level playing field. I was actually thinking about this. I would like to rank the NFL teams. Wow. I think that would be great. Like, imagine this Thursday you have number six Washington taking on number eight Philadelphia.

They are kind of ranked. I know, but it would be really cool if we did that. Like, where would you rank the Dolphins right now? They're getting healthy at the right time. I think you guys should do that on God Bless Football. Maybe we will. You can go the anti-FSU argument, right? FSU was undefeated, but they lost their quarterback, so they're out. The Dolphins, hey, they have six losses, but who cares? With Tua, they're two and three. The offense is looking better. They're actually the 10th best team in the country. Stugatz, Chris has told me in my ear that you have something on your lip. Can you look at me here? I cannot see it.

I cannot see what might be. What is it? Oh, no. No, don't eat it. No. I'm hungry. No way. Was it a bugger? Oh, no. What was that? It might have been spittle. I hope it was spittle. No, it wasn't. No, that had a consistency to it that wasn't watery. No. It was delicious. Oh, God. No. You guys need to on video. You need to isolate that.

And Chris, I need you to isolate as well, please, the sound that the announcer made in the middle of that Panther-Devil fight. The single sound that that...

Do you have more of that? Announcer made. I don't know what that was. Roy, did you see what that was? No, thank God. On Stugatz's lip. Did any of you see? That was a solid piece of something. That was not water. That was not dry mouth. That was not. It could have been dry mouth because I had that bread that we have on Wednesdays when I walked in today. That's all I had. And I haven't drank any water. So it could be whatever.

Whatever it was, it's in my belly. That was not spittle. That was something that was solid. It's something that's being digested right now. And what you just did was deeply unpleasant. Billy, are you disgusted? Are you mortified? Are you just par for the course? God bless football is going to rank NFL teams now because I don't –

I don't dislike Stugatz's idea. I just don't like it as content very much because it feels to me like just going through the schedule and asking Stugatz's opinion on who's going to win. I'm not trying to do it here. I'm just saying it would be a good idea if the NFL did it that way. That's all. It would be exciting, I think. It seems like a fun thing for your social media.

Let's put this on television here, this thing on Stugatz's face. Let's do this investigation. Go closer up here, please. Can you get closer? You guys can see whether or not this is solid or not, right? That is not spittle. And that is, yeah, that is unpleasant. That's probably some piece of bread. I think there was probably in your teeth before. And as you were giving opinions, came out of your teeth and just rested on your lip. Right.

Yeah, we're all properly disgusted by that. Let's move on. It's distracting, but we don't need to stay there. And I'm sorry that I ventured there at all. Chris, it's your fault by saying to me in my ear, I couldn't see it from over here. It's been there for a while. Imagine.

This Sunday, 425 p.m., the number one ranked Chiefs versus the number three ranked Bills. Oh, wow. Would the Chiefs be ranked number one, though? Or would it be the Lions? They would not. The Chiefs would not be number one. The committee would shock everyone by making the Lions number one. Just to get us to talk. Yes, because the Chiefs have won all the games.

all their games by one score, right? Isn't that reminiscent of what the Vikings were a couple of years ago when we thought they were good, but they weren't actually good because they won all of their games by one score? Have the Chiefs had any two-score games? Yes. They beat the Niners and the Saints by double digits. But other than that, all single-digit games.

So do you guys remember the Viking team I'm talking about that started super strong with a quarterback and Kirk cousins that not, that not a lot of people believed in, but all they were winning was one score games. And then when they got to the playoffs, they ended up getting exposed. I do think it's funny that we're doing this with the chiefs and we're granting them understandably because they've won nine straight games when they're down in the second half and they've won 15 games straight overall. Uh,

I do understand why it is that people would be looking at that and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Oh, they just know how to do that winning thing. And they're not going to stumble against anybody in the playoffs because they have like, it's, it is fairly amazing to me that they got there before Mahomes turned 30, that they got there to where everyone will agree on. Man,

They'll just figure out something. No matter what you have, Lamar Jackson, Derrick Henry, great running game, don't care what you have. They'll figure out something at the end. They have spags. They do. They have beaten the 49ers. They beat the Bengals early in the season. They have beaten Baltimore. And people are still questioning this team, which is, and I'm one of them, by the way.

Be careful. That Vikings team started 8-1. This is back in 2022. They had one loss at the Philadelphia Eagles in Week 2 that was by a couple of scores. They had a win in Week 1 that was by a couple of scores. And then they rattled off seven straight one-score wins and then ultimately lost in the wildcard round.

Nobody would think that those Vikings had an ability to win one score games. Correct. Everyone thinks the Chiefs do. Everyone. Yes. Everyone thinks. Yeah, they'll figure out a way. The Chiefs do. And that is a crazy distinction to be making about a football team, because I remember how much we were trying to talk ourselves into those Vikings might be good and couldn't quite do it.

Couldn't quite figure out how to do it, but they're the same. In fact, my guess would be, Jeremy, that their point differential over those nine games, those Vikings, probably even better than the Chiefs. I'm guessing that it's even better because the Chiefs are just at like plus 50 or something, Stugatz. It's not...

some great point differential, right? Look at where it is they are at 9-0. The Chiefs are plus 58 right now. I mean, that's crazy. Nine games, 58. All they do is win closed games. I guess what I'm saying to you is most of my life outside of maybe Brady...

Ever since I got into the arithmetic of sports, the Bill James and how it is that you do the measurements, most of my life winning one score games is not an ability. Michael Jordan, like they're just a few legends where we say, oh, that person has an ability to do that, that no matter who you are on the other side, you're going to lose to that person. Even if you're MVP Lamar Jackson, I'm going to be watching the game and everybody's going to be watching the game.

And just like Brady coming down the field at the end, you've left him too much time. You've left Andy Reid, Mahomes, too many ways to still beat you, and they will, I expect it. Or you left them enough time and they'll block a field goal.

Well, Peyton got cute there. Peyton, did you see Peyton? You're right. One second left. I want only one second left. Watch how I do this. One second. Not two seconds. Not three seconds. One second. The Vikings were plus 32 that year through nine games. Okay. Even worse. That's crazy. That's winning them all by a field goal. Plus 32 at eight and one? Yes. That's winning. There it is. That's what I was looking for. That's what happens when tough customers square off in a hockey game. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That is an old Italian man having sex. Oy yi yi. I think he's Jewish. Oy.

Yeah, for sure Jewish. Are you ready to do your five Jewish quarterback names? Are you ready to do that now? I am ready to do it. I might have more than five. I'm not even certain. I spent the better half of the day doing this yesterday after the show. It was very popular. I got calls about it yesterday. I got calls, people celebrating saying yes, that it was perfect. Not only the list was perfect, but your mistake on just getting shaloms wrong when saying Patrick shaloms.

that the way you made the mistake was even funnier than if you had nailed the joke. OLI? I have some OLIs, sure. Johnny Junitis. Johnny Jew. Gary Dredelson. Todd Minorovich. Jacoby Brisket. I got to count here. One, two, three. Drew Locks.

Mike Bagel. Who's Mike Bagel? Mike Pagel. The old Colts quarterback. You don't remember him? My bad, my bad. He had some great years, Pagel. He never had a great year. I'm joking. Look up, Jeremy, Mike Bagel's best year. Nice. I'd totally forgotten about Mike Pagel for very good reasons. Yeah. Yom Brady. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Mel Kapoor Jr. Have we gotten to the numbers yet? Have we gotten to number five yet? Ryan Fitzpatrick. We need a coach. Robert Holla. Mike Pagel's best year was 14 touchdowns, 15 picks. Oh, it was a doozy. Back then, I mean, that was everything. Shofar Sanders. I'm done. So far?

Yeah, but you have to do it though. Season's greetings, podcast audience. It's Mike Ryan. And now is that time of year where you start hosting your family gatherings, be it Thanksgiving, be it the upcoming holiday season. You're going to have some folks in town. You're going to be doing some entertaining. So why don't you make your family time a Miller time? It's the first thing that I roll out when I got guests over at the house, an ice cold bucket filled with that beautiful white can. See, Miller time makes family time all the more special because for one thing,

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