Postgame Show: The Box Apocalypse
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Alright guys, as you know, I'm gonna become a father very soon. Jenny's at 33 weeks of pregnancy. We got seven weeks left. The baby shower is done. But I've got an issue. Okay, and as you guys know, when you do your baby registry on an Amazon or something like that, everybody sends stuff to your house instead of sending it to their house or bringing it over on a baby shower or whatever.

I've got a bit of a box apocalypse at my house right now. So we had the entire family over Jenny side, my side. We were all fixing stuff up for the baby's room, doing this, constructing that, moving this over here, this over there.

And when I got into my garage, I looked over and I've got, you know, regular 10 foot ceiling or whatever the garage would be. I have cardboard boxes from the floor to the ceiling of my garage. Just one half of it is absolutely packed with boxes and I don't know what to do with it.

These are made boxes, not broken down boxes. There's some broken down, some still kind of intact, some cut in half, some ripped apart. But it's just I have so many boxes. I don't know what to do with them. I started cutting them with a box cutter and stuffing them in the garbage. The problem is... Recycle them. Well, in the recycling bin, you know the blue one, you have the green one, whatever. The problem is the blue one is always smaller than the green one. Yeah, I have one every two weeks. Yeah, and I can only fit in so many.

So I don't know what to do with all of the boxes. - Have you considered telling David that they're from movies and maybe he'll buy them off of you? - That's actually a good idea. - Lie to him, go ahead and do that. - Tell him. - So what do I do with all these boxes? When you guys were getting stuff for the baby,

Did you have a box apocalypse at your house? What did you do with it? Yeah, and the holidays, it comes back. So this is not your last box apocalypse. Wow. Have you seen the videos? Because people have sent them to me, and I'm not particularly interested in doing it, where they hose down the boxes. Yeah, somebody told that to me today. Yeah, it's... Like, you basically wet the boxes. They become mush. Yeah. And then you pick up the mush, and then you put it in the garbage bag. Yeah. It's not a bad idea. People do that? I would not. They become very, like...

malleable or whatever like you can fold them into anything right but then they also become like stinky and heavy and it's gross that's the thing you put in a bag they're heavy as hell and i'm like over my shoulder like santa claus like trying to you just gotta start cutting it's a pain but you just gotta start cutting them with your box cutters and like cut them into like small pieces yeah that fit into like your dude situation so i did that when we had the first round of box apocalypse now this is the second where's your registry i can't find it uh i'll send it to you okay i

I want to get you something. Yeah, but I can't find it on here publicly. Don't send anything. I actually have no idea. I'd have to ask Jenny. Should I just give you something out of a box? Yeah, give me whatever it is. Take it out of the box and just hand it to you? Yeah, just hand it to me. My box apocalypse was when I moved.

I didn't really experience this with the baby. I remember having, after we moved, I didn't know what to do with all these boxes. Yeah, just packing up the entire house and going to the next one. That seems like a... I just feel like it's never ending, right? Because more and more things start showing up at my house, and then that means more and more cardboard boxes are in my garage for this wall of cardboard. What kind of diapers are you getting?

See like size wise I've gotten newborn. Oh you want to avoid those don't get any more though I didn't buy them, but don't get any more people give you don't get any more newborn But what I heard if you have a big baby, I'm probably gonna have a big baby Okay, based on what you have so far your information so far information. What way do we buy?

They said that she's a week ahead. I don't know what that means. Me neither. Usually they throw it around in percentiles. Her head is in the 84th percentile. That's all nonsense. They'll tell you, oh, this baby weighs whatever, give or take.

12 ounces and it's like that's almost a whole pound like you're giving yourself a lot of room for error yeah but that's what that's a lot of medicine a lot of room for error and that's a story for another day friend I feel like you don't want to go down that path the doctors made me feel like my daughter was going to be like six feet tall yeah when she was born was she

She is tall. She is tall for her age. She's not six feet at birth. That would have been problematic for your wife. Could you imagine your wife's body just gets stretched out and her skin becomes like a six foot baby inside of you and then all of a sudden there seems to be a head coming out of her arm because that's the way the baby grew. You look like a snake that just ate something. Exactly right. It's your baby. I don't like when snakes eat stuff. How do they digest that thing?

What? The enzymes in their stomach. It just turns it into acid? Yeah. What were you asking me? You were asking me a good question and I forgot what it was. Something about boxes or babies or something. Registry. No, not the registry. Diapers. Diapers. Diapers.

I heard that if you have whisper yeah no because this is true I don't know I'm asking Billy because I feel like he knows and you've had I'm going to send you something I'm going to send you a I'm going to send you a Pampers app so I heard if you have you can scan the barcodes and I'll get two dollars for you joining if you have unopened

You can take them to like a Target. Yeah. And then they'll give you store credit. Is that true? I have no idea. I know this. One time I went to a Target and I bought diapers and someone pulled the old switcheroo. And when I opened the box of diapers, it was something different inside. There were diapers. It was a different type of diaper. Someone just opened a box of the diapers, more expensive diapers, put cheaper diapers in it, then returned the box of Pampers. Wow.

got i guess a store credit for cheaper diapers and then i went back and i was like these are not the diapers that i purchased what are you guys doing dude if you need something returned at target

My wife can get it done for you. Really? She's got an ability to return things at Target that you didn't even buy at Target. She'll bring it back to Target. I think that's part of the problem here, I think. So the issue is that we have a lot of newborn ones, right? But as people told me that they grow out of them so fast that you kind of don't use the newborns for as long as you would for other things. Dude, baby clothes, giant racket. I feel like, look, I'm going to try to give you this piece of advice you're not going to listen to me on. Okay. Because...

I know you're not gonna listen to me on it. Baby clothes, they go through like that. They grow, it's ridiculous. And all the clothes that you're probably getting, especially for little babies, they'll wear it one time, if even that. You're gonna have clothes. - You look high on it and that's it. - No, you're just gonna have so many outfits that they're never gonna wear the clothes again. 'Cause I imagine you have a lot of friends and family giving you a bunch of stuff. You may have things that even you never take the tags off of 'cause it's like, this is ridiculous, we put it over here, we forgot about it, whatever.

Here's where they're gonna get you, and you're not gonna listen to me on this. Okay. And I understand that you're not gonna listen to me on this. Okay. Shoes. Once your baby is of shoe-wearing age...

Baby shoes are a giant waste of money. Okay. Right? Because they grow out of them super quick. And then if you start going into the realm of, I'm going to get my baby some dunks, or I'm going to get my baby... I want my baby to wear Nike. He's like, no, dude. Go to TJ Maxx or Ross for one of those if you want to get name brand shoes and get it there, if even that. Or just go get whatever shoes because they're... I have bad news. They're...

I knew it. I knew it. I bought her a pair of dunks. Those are her first shoes. But they're tiny ones. So she can wear them. For six minutes if they're tiny. Maybe her feet will be too big when she's born. Possibly. And then I bought her another pair of Jordan 1 Lows. But those I bought bigger. I bought those bigger though. Just stick with those. Don't buy any more. Just take hand-me-downs.

Yeah, dude. We did. We did. If you have a second kid, don't get rid of any of your stuff in case you have a second kid. So the good thing is that my Jenny sister gave us a lot of shoes, a lot of little sandals and little things like that that we have as hand-me-downs. But then I went out and bought a couple of things.

So maybe they can be multi-use as one kid wears them for a little bit, then maybe the next kid would wear them for a little bit, and then the next kid. Just don't go crazy because you're going to spend like $70 on a pair of shoes that this kid can't even walk. I've already spent more. Yeah. How much? $140. What? That's ridiculous, man. With tax? Taxes always get you. I should have bought it on tax-free weekend. Taxes.