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Except for, you know, those days when I was in Coconut Grove at the Tavern.
I got my shirt pulled over my head and got kicked in the ear and stopped traffic and went home with a bloody ear. Stugatz. Los mas grande que son, lo mas duro kind. 20 mediocre years. You're supposed to be NBA champion and NBA finals MVP. You gonna let down Nike, Ron? You gonna let down your team? You gonna let down the city? We're talking legacy. Give me all you got. This is the oral history of the 10 Levitard Show with Stugatz.
In the nostalgia and revisiting of some of this stuff that I haven't thought about in a long time and haven't thought about at all, I have discovered some things that I did not know. One of them is a general reticence to change at every turn. From very early in my career, I didn't want to be the University of Miami's beat writer. I wanted to be the University of Florida's beat writer. When I became the University of Miami's beat writer, I didn't want to become the Marlins beat writer. I didn't want to be
become a columnist. I got comfortable in the places that I was and I realized that this special thing, having worked in a lot of different kinds of media environments, this special thing, I didn't want change and
growth to be something that got in the way of the intimacy of the special thing. And so I became very attached to how we were doing things and the combination of Hawk leaving and Stugatz and Mike wanting to push toward national pushed me into a discomfort that represents growth and the growth of our show that I did reluctantly and I did reluctantly.
at least in part because Stugatz and Mike Ryan wanted something a little bit different than I wanted. And my agent, Trace Armstrong, was finally in cahoots with Skipper on trying to build something larger out of Miami that combined with LeBron James and made ESPN feel sea to shining sea in a way that they hadn't been before because they were making so much of their content out of just Bristol and they wanted to go to New York, Los Angeles, and Miami. I just wanted more money.
I mean, you talk about growth. I wanted to grow my bank account. And the only way to do that was by going to ESPN and going national.
I thought that it was great that now we're going to expand our little local thing that we're doing nationwide on the worldwide leader in sports. I thought that was going to be great, especially for my career. You know, just a little radio producer going big time. Yeah, I thought that us getting a presence down here, especially with LeBron James and the Miami Heat's ascension into national relevance. I thought that, hey, our show is going to get the big time just based off of this LeBron bump. This is going to be great. Excellent.
First time I heard the show was going national on ESPN radio, I thought I was gonna be rich, honestly. I thought it was really cool and I'm like, wow, this is awesome. Like I started here as an intern, we're gonna be a national show, I'm gonna make so much money. This media thing is gonna pay off. I really shouldn't be second guessing this decision anymore. And then I realized what people made working for an AM radio show nationally or locally. And I was disappointed in that aspect, but it was cool nonetheless.
So for the initial venture, the joint venture between Levitard Show and ESPN, I didn't really have much influence there. I think you're possibly confusing the level of influence that I had when we later decided to go to Middays. I was more along for the ride here. I certainly wanted to go to ESPN. I certainly wanted to leave what was happening over at 790 The Ticket, where Lincoln Financial was about to sell to another company and
I wanted the stability of being a Disney employee. This, as I recall it, was more of a trace-led thing. And the instructions were kind of barked down to me. I was up for the challenge. I was really eager for the national platform such that it was because we were still an afternoon show and we were going to go to a place that in radio, historically, Stu, you could give voice to this. Very little clearance. Most local markets wanted to be live and local during drive time traffic.
So it's funny, if you're a national network, you put your best shows in the middays because you want the stations, the affiliates to air those best shows. And the place they're most likely going to do it is in the middays. And locally, you wanted to be big at afternoon drive and morning drive. I was relaxed by this, by ESPN telling us, you're not on in too many markets.
Just continue to do the show you've been doing for the last, you know, 12 years or so. I recall it being low stakes, but before we get too far ahead of ourselves, let's talk about Heat Title 1 to Heat Title 2. And in between that, I grew as a producer. The show sounded clean. We were doing very complicated things for local radio that the audience was probably none the wiser to. They don't know how difficult it is to coordinate with Sam Van Gundy. You go. Your question here. They don't know about ISDNs. That's how Roy, Billy...
myself, we really earned Dan's trust as he tried to navigate who the third voice was going to be because I wasn't quite there yet. I started getting there a little bit more to the second Heat title where I found this cocky Heat fan character and Dan started to trust me a little bit more there. But Dan started having faith again in the show when exactly after Hawk left because I know the specter of Hawk was always hanging over me. He was still on our station and he was so regarded as someone that had so much influence and sway over why exactly we were popular.
I'm realizing in the revisiting of a lot of this stuff, and surprised to realize in the revisiting of it, that I thought I was handling the steering wheel, and in a lot of instances, I was a passenger sort of being pushed into places...
on my career discomforts, pushed into growth beyond where it is that my limits were. But I do remember very specifically in the uncertainty of footing that was Hawk leaving, we need to bolster our credibility here in some places. I need to find new talent, diverse talent. Stan Van Gundy was very helpful in this regard. And I remember a whole lot
of amateur shit happening around Stan VanGutti, not just me paying him or just paying for his equipment so that he could do the show from Orlando, but the difficulties in trying to get his credibility around what it is that we're doing.
while not having him here in a room with us. That wasn't something we were doing a lot of. Bomani was the same thing. We're doing these shows on remote. I think I underestimated how difficult a chemistry link that would be, given that so much of what we do is music based on eye contact, where we're looking at each other, and the ISDN lines made that difficult. So initially with Stan, it started with
Mike, coordinate with a station out in the central Florida area. Coordinate with Stan what's close to his house. See if we can get an engineer there. Bomani, same thing. We had him at a radio station in North Carolina for those early days. Then we got Stan, like a really old ISDN.
It was mine. It was my old ISDN that they originally gave me for the Sunday morning show. I just sort of sent it to him. It looked like the computer in Matthew Broderick's war games, like this giant 1981 computer. I still have mine. We sent it to his house.
And we also didn't send an engineer to Stan's house. So many times I'm on the phone landline with Stan Van Gundy walking him through. The listener can probably piece together how difficult this was of a technical achievement. But over the course of this year, your trust in the team, Billy, Roy, myself, has probably grown just because the shows are starting to feel good. It's a lot more work than probably you're used to, but the show is changing. Having that
third voice with credibility does give the show, whether you knew it or not, more national appeal. And also Greg Cody. The voices with credibility and also Greg Cody. He was the greatest of the third voices, though. Not the most credible of them. Who cares? He was always going to be along for the ride. Now, your deal at ESPN starts cooking the
little bit. Dan Levitard is highly questionable. Shortly thereafter gets renamed to highly questionable. Starts finding traction with an audience. It was hard at first, but you start getting your groove. You get taken away from the radio show briefly. It's just for like a handful of months where Stu Gatz and I cover that final hour, but most of the times it was like 30 minutes because we were leading into a broadcast. Right.
And that's also where I kind of felt my skill as a third voice get sharpened a little bit. So it wasn't very good, but I got my chemistry down with Stu gots a little bit. We created these bits, a critical mind could consider these. These are a little bit lazier. Like we did open.
We did open phones. I think Wake and Take was somehow discovered during that open hour. But also Game Notes, which later turned into Weekend Observations, where we see that during games, you would just take notes, and then Dan was soon thereafter in on that bit. Yes. Well, I mean, it's classic Dan, right? Because I was reading something off of my phone, and Mike said, what are you doing? Why are you reading off your phone? And I said, I take notes while I'm watching games on the Notes app. Okay.
And Mike said, well, read all of them. And I did. And you laughed. And Dan was laughing. And then Dan, of course, wanted it more. And he wanted it to be every single week. And now we've created a game around it. People are betting on my weekend observations. I am very thrilled about that. We dressed it up. I remember that 6 o'clock hour that we did. Dan didn't really like it. We conceded that it was a very different show. It was lazy. It was a little bit lazier. It was also the strongest hour in the old radio books. I remember that. And that's when I really knew that.
ratings didn't make all that much sense. But then the conversations with ESPN get to a point where now you're talking about a national show and you're going to be with a show from four to seven with a local hour on the front end. We initially start doing that from Miami gardens. Dan, as I recall, Trace Armstrong, your agent at the time was kind of leading talks here. Was there any kind of delay with Hawk leaving? Was this always the plan? I think part of what sold you initially with ESPN radio was it was low stakes radio.
low clearance you can kind of maintain doing your show catering to a local audience and keep in mind at this time here going for their second straight title LeBron is a very national topic this was a really tough decision for Dan I remember he would call me and he would ask me and talk to me about the fact that we have this great little thing we're buried down in Miami no one really is paying attention outside of the audience and sometimes it's cool just to have your own little thing in a small market and he has said on radio he has said a number of times that
this market is the only market that matters to him. So speaking to people in Topeka, Kansas is not something that Dan wanted to do. It's something I wanted to do. But he was really torn on this because he loved what we created and he loves this city and didn't really care about the rest of the city. But what we were doing didn't quite feel little. It felt like destination stuff to me because we were expanding and people were finding us. We weren't going to seek them out.
With our show, people will get used to us instead of us being used to being national, you know? I would think that the national audience would be more prone to a different approach of sports talk radio, you know? Like, this is going to be a different show. This is not going to be...
greeny. It's not going to be anything like this network has ever had. We are going to have hijinks. We are going to be funny. This is going to be more of a pop culture comedy sports show instead of just straight sports talk. And the nation had to get used to it for a while and they grew into it.
I think the weirdest thing about radio is that while it's even like a national show and even when it was like on fusion or ESPN you or whatever when it later becomes like simulcast spoiler alert if you're just joining the show and you don't know the direction that the show is going to go in the weird thing is is like it could be on hundreds of networks and it can be listened to by like X number of people whatever it is but because it was like the same studio at the
beginning before we moved to the clevelander you know that more people are watching and listening but it feels exactly the same because it's like a small room and it really only feels like you're doing the show with like the seven people you don't actually realize how many people are listening and how many people hear the things that you say i never thought about how many people were actually listening and how national the show was because it was the same studio so it felt the same
I was super hesitant for a number of different reasons, and that hesitancy was not diluted at all. In the initial conversations I had weeks before we were starting our show nationally, and I realized yet again, my God, this business has in leadership positions a bunch of people who just don't know what they're doing. So I'm having a conversation with someone who's leading us, and he's asking me,
very basic questions that indicate to me he's never heard our show that we're being foisted upon a group of people by whatever it is that Skipper and Trace have cooked up that is going to be unexpected to them because they don't know what it actually is. I actually remember a couple...
of conversations really memorably. One of them was the first one with said executive where he's telling me how important the brand is and I keep coming back to him with I don't care about brand stuff so we're just going back and forth there and then he says to me the thing that makes it evident that he hasn't listened to the show which is how do we make a local show national and I'm like we've been doing that because the sports in Miami have stunk for a while and then I asked him the question.
have you ever heard the show? And the answer was no. And I'm like, how about we have this conversation after you've heard some of the show that you're about to put on in nine days? Kind of reverse engineered from my time over at ESPN well after that.
that radio and audio deals over at ESPN were often just throw-ins. And Dan already had the Cadillac, which was his main show, and he walks in the door as a full-timer at ESPN with a wildly popular local radio show, so it was a natural experiment to put on ESPN
in the afternoons. However, the executives there were totally different than what they were, at least for me on the local level. The local level, yeah, you'd have occasionally a suit that was put in place by a major company, but they at least had bona fides. They had climbed up through the audio ranks. And I remember initially being very surprised that a lot of the people making the decisions over at ESPN Radio didn't actually come from radio backgrounds, nor did they really listen to their own product all that long.
much so I imagine you were probably in situations where you had to explain who your co-host even was not only that I remember delighting in a conversation because I had to leave at six o'clock because I had to get to heat games to be in the locker room the reason I was leaving early is because I had to
be around this team for one of my other jobs. And I just remember being with the top down, getting on the highway as this same executive is calling me because I don't know, nine days into doing our show, he wants to have a conversation with me about someone from Utah who is written in objecting to the name Stugatz.
And so the executive is saying again and again, are you aware that Stugatz is derivative of cock and balls? And I'm driving and my top's down and I'm like, I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I can't hear you well. What are you saying? Stugatz is derivative of cock.
Cock and Balls, and I made him do it a third time before I said, yeah, so is Cocky and Ballsy. We're not changing the names to gods. I told Miami, we're not changing anything about the show. We're not changing my co-host's name. My real last name is Wiener.
I mean, would you prefer that? Let's walk it up to just about our debut on ESPN. This was kind of like, from my perspective, well decided. We start going down this path. I know for me, I was told that I was going to be a Disney employee. And literally the day before, I was told, no, that's not happening. So it was pretty evident that if the show was essentially not being paid attention to, the very bottom rung of the show was not at all even being paid attention to by Trace Armstrong, really. So-
Our whole attitude in the production side was just keep this thing moving. Rising tide lifts all boats. We all wanted to be Disney employees. We were all under the impression that we would be. And then when it got back to us that we wouldn't be, that stinks. How is this going to work? I'm producing a day part for you. You're my boss, but I don't actually have to listen to you. You're an ESPN manager. At the end of the day, you're not the person signing my checks. I'm not going to take advantage of that, but...
you sure this is an okay setup when we first started like we didn't work for espn or at least some of us didn't so we still were like employees of 790 the ticket so it was really awkward because we had to listen to like the espn bosses technically while they were not our actual bosses our bosses were the people at the ticket and then there were sometimes conflicts it was a weird thing to kind of
figure out because we didn't work for them, but we worked kind of for them. And there was different rules for everyone. It was probably weirder for the people at Lincoln Financial that didn't work for ESPN. For a while, it was kind of like we were in this building, we worked for them, but we were also not really employees of them. And I think that there was probably like strange feelings, I would say, from like other shows and our show and other employees and our employees, just because we existed in like this weird place.
where we just had different rules because we were listening to different bosses. And I would still obviously listen to like our bosses, but it was strange because we were kind of trying to not achieve different things, but like we were trying to go by like ESPN and this and that, and then 790 the ticket would have other things. So it was a weird like limbo that we were in. Actually, kind of, I think the awkward part about it, right? Is that when people would like ask you like, oh, you work for ESPN? And I'm like, no, not technically. Like I don't really get any benefits. I don't get anything.
And that's how I knew ESPN Radio was all kind of wonky. Yeah. It was run by executives. It was run by non-radio people. It was run by journalists, wasn't it? It was run by people who came up doing journalism and not radio, and they weren't paying attention to us. I love the fact that we were in Afternoon Drive at the beginning because...
We were used to that. And because we weren't clear to many markets, so they just said, hey, continue doing the show that you were doing. The thing that made that transition, I think, easy for me and Dan, I was thrilled. I was so happy to be at ESPN. Whether I was a Disney employee or not, I never thought that I would wind up at ESPN. It was insane to me, the thought of that. And it felt really good to arrive there. But the two stories locally were national stories. That was Richie Incognito and Bullygate.
and it was LeBron James to the Heat. And they were like, just do your show. And we're like, okay, this is in our wheelhouse. Like Richie Incognito and LeBron to the Heat. And I think that made that transition from local to national pretty seamless for me and Dan. One of the things, though, that I only realized sort of
years into being at ESPN. It's not just that the executives weren't paying attention to what it is that was happening on radio. It's that it was pretty clear that radio wasn't a priority at ESPN. It was explained to me that this is largely a hundred million dollar property and Skipper wasn't allowing anyone into his office for a meeting who didn't guarantee him more than the
$10 million a day that ESPN was making for Disney as its biggest property. So if you were somebody who could guarantee him $9 million, you were not somebody who was getting through that door. They were a television entity and radio, as it was explained to me, was a fly around an elephant's tail. It was not something they thought was important.
It was like a throw in. It really was. It was an afterthought. It was a promotional vehicle for all their TV shows and the play by play. But Dan is right. That's not where ESPN would make their money. It's not where they make their money. They make their money with play by play and television. That's what they're good at. That's what they're experts at. But that comforted me a little bit. I'm like, hey, we're here and none of the executives are really paying attention to what it is we're doing. I couldn't believe I had arrived at the worldwide leader in sports.
And I felt like nobody was paying attention to what it is we were doing or saying. Well, pretty early on in our experience, we got a reminder that nobody would listen. We'll get to that in a second. And a reminder that you guys weren't Disney employees because once I got suspended there,
I realized they just ran you guys off the road because they couldn't have people on the air with the liability issues who weren't Disney employees. Well, Stugatz keeps saying that's a destination. We're doing national radio syndicated on ESPN radio. That feels like we've arrived. Didn't really feel like we arrived anywhere in terms of a transition. I remember being really confused. Who do I speak to? How do I...
do this with your clocks. This is really complicated. We were still in our same studio. They sent down a ninja by the name of Juan that got everything technically up to snuff. There's always a Juan in Miami who's going to help you figure these things out. And he's always a ninja. He might use a toilet and part of an airplane wing that was found in a crash in the Everglades. Now you're making him a guyver. But he's, well, the Cuban resourcefulness and the Juans that we have down here helped make us number Juan. Ha ha ha.
Give it to him. I remember being really confused. We're days away from our big ESPN debut, and I haven't spoken to who my boss might be. And aren't I supposed to be a Disney employee? How is this supposed to go? I was given a hard copy of clocks from somebody. I memorized them. I think maybe I had...
One dry run, soft dry run with what the clocks would be. We started maybe trying to manipulate our own clocks on one of those other hours to see if we can get the timing down because that was always going to be an issue for us. Hitting a hard network time when we were just bastards with the clock. We were sloppy. We were so bad with the clock. So that was my main concern. I have no radio training in here.
I don't have any. Clocks, what are you talking about? I just talk until I'm done talking. No, because when we were doing the show locally, Dan would just keep going. I knew he was blowing past the break. And I would just signal to him, keep going, keep going. It's local. No one cares. Just keep going, keep going. We'll put this 12-minute stop setting when you're done. Yeah, and when the beepers came along, just give us five minutes. It has to have five minutes. But I look back thankful.
that it was so messy at the start because if we were just walking through the door with what surrounded say the midday show when we took over and so many more suits are paying attention and there's so many more rigidities this allowed us to say in our little ecosystem in miami gardens where dan was most comfortable he started doing the show with a local hour from three to four
So he was already talking to an audience he was comfortable with and it just felt like a natural extension. And I remember really quickly, this feels all right. This is not bad at all. Well, it felt the same, right? The show's actually getting stronger as we do this. The heat really helped because it allowed us to be our ridiculous selves and play to an entire nation. If we didn't have that, it might've been more of a struggle. But I think back to that.
I'm back now really thankful that it was so Wild West. It was so ragtag. And we had such little corporate intervention. You were nervous the first day. How could you not be? And it was a little rigid, more rigid than it usually was, but it allowed you to quickly get your feet under you and
continue going with the main thing, which is let me just do a really entertaining show. Let me cultivate these voices. Now with the NBA, St. Van Gundy, this is really cool. And the show just continued to grow. We didn't miss a beat with our local audience. They were rooting for us. They were happy to have an ally speaking on behalf of the Heat when you were on ESPN where it kind of felt largely like ESPN was against the Miami Heat.
The thing, though, that I was clutching to with my death grip more than anything, more than even a reticence to be forced to change once I've arrived at something comfortable is I really didn't want anybody fucking this thing up because...
because I knew how rare it was to be able to sit around and enjoy something laughing together, shared with people. And the more people you invite into that tent, the more chefs you get in the kitchen. And so I negotiated a lack of interference. It was the thing that was most important to me is do not start contaminating or bothering us on what we do. And in retrospect, if we
my main goal had been the opposite of that, if I'd been more like Stugatz, it might have netted different power results because I really did just want to be left alone. I didn't want to team with ESPN on making us bigger. I just wanted them to air us and leave us alone. I wanted to team with ESPN and have them make us bigger. So that's interesting that you're thinking about that now. I mean, it's obvious now when you see what
We ran into so that McAfee could fly with a rented spaceship that is kind of complicated to get into the air. But it's just also funny to hear within these conversations that all of you guys wanted to be Disney employees when I really didn't want to be a Disney employee. Good benefits. It was great benefits. And also tickets to the park. We were not on stable ground in Miami. It was terrible.
not the most comforting conversations to be having discussions every quarter with people over at ESPN and you have a disagreement. There's no playbook for how to go about this when you're not actually my boss. That's cool for Dan to believe that he doesn't actually have bosses and that may actually be
fact, but I'm still a mid-twenties person producing daytime programming for ESPN, having fundamental disagreements over stuff with my managers and they don't actually have recourse. We didn't really test it all that much and I look back on it and it kind of felt like we were doing ESPN programming out of the Waxy Studios for a brief moment in time. We were. It was a year. Yes. It was a
full year because we go to the very next offseason and LeBron leaves and that's the first time we really test the management dynamic of not being ESPN guys you and I and Dan having to be the face of essentially all the punishment that falls upon the show.
Mike was really concerned about it and had every right to be that he was not a Disney employee because to us, ESPN and Disney felt like a destination. It felt like the most secure thing in the world. And at that time, it was not so secure down here in Miami. It also makes me look like an asshole to my team because while I was barely getting any communication, the message that Billy and Roy are getting from me is they should be talking to us any day now about,
your ESPN packages, they have families. And then the day before I looked like a total asshole saying, no, actually we're still here with Lincoln Financial. Who knows what happens with the sale? I'm a little confused.
It's a top-down deal, and the layers between Skipper and whoever's second, there's a whole lot of earth there in terms of guy who makes billion-dollar deals and person who just keeps the trains running on time who's an ESPN vice president. The difference between one and two at ESPN is the difference between number two and number 10,000 at ESPN. It's like the difference between Jordan and LeBron. I mean...
Is that fair? I think you're complicating it more. It's not at all. It feels like it is. Jordan's at the top. That's not. It's kind of, you did it the opposite of what I was actually saying, just so that you can have your LeBron opinion. So when this goes top down...
and you have it trickle down and forced upon people. I'm sure this is a story we will cover later on in the show, but what ends up happening is I learn later on that all of these vice presidents were saying to anyone who would listen, there will never be a studio at the Clevelander Hotel in Miami. And then the next day, all of, I'm not even kidding, the next,
day they're all like okay we're doing a studio at the Clevelander in Miami because what was done here is you flex no it wasn't me it was it's not me it's that Skipper and Trace had a relationship Stugatz I am a passenger on this I'm a
passenger on highly questionable where Eric ride home is dictating the terms on what it is that show is going to be. And I'm a passenger with trace Armstrong and John Skipper on what it is that ESPN needs to fill in terms of Latin quota and what it is that it's going to take to get
our crew over there when I don't totally want to be over there. You got to make it better for me than it already was. And I'm just learning now, honest to God, I did not know this when it was happening. The comfort that I had because I was a Miami Herald employee, like that's where my full-time benefits were. And so I wasn't answering to Disney. I wasn't answering to radio. The thing I respected most was newspapers. So I didn't really have a grasp of just how uncomfortable you guys were.
I know that it was a tough decision for you to leave. And I think the first few days to maybe the first few weeks, you were a bit nervous. Like I remember the first day I was terrified. Yeah. You sent me a text saying, thank you for being the least terrified of all of us on the show because I was irrationally cocky at that point in my career. But I am wondering Dan, because Mike is right. The audience locally in Miami, they were rooting for us. We were this rag tag bunch of guys. It didn't make sense what we were doing. And,
It felt like their show and they were in on this show and contributed to the show. Did that make you feel better? The fact that they really were rooting for us. It made me feel slightly better, but I was pretty concerned the entire time that the kind of change that was coming was not the kind of change that they would like because I
I realized in the very early fights about can Ron McGill stay on and stuff that they were going to try and change a show when they promised me they weren't going to change the show. But the person who had promised me the show wasn't going to change wasn't the
one managing the show. So there was just very early on a lot of interference that made me feel like I was fighting against somebody at the start. I do want to ask you about Ron McGill. I was also surprised by the support that we got from Miami. It was an unexpected byproduct because also in all of this, the RSS feed that people listen to today, it was owned by Lincoln Financial and
It could have been a complicated negotiation, but it gets absorbed by ESPN. This is the early days of messaging podcasts. It's still going to show up. Trust us. It's going to be there. And even though it changed ownership hands, we didn't miss a beat. And the show did grow some, but we weren't really clear to major markets. This is when podcasts as an industry start rising.
really eating into terrestrial radio. So we see our base grow. I know early conversations before I was even an ESPN employee, they were flabbergasted by our digital numbers. Now that they had it, I was super pumped because they had much better data than I had
over at Lincoln Financial. Lincoln Financial didn't have somebody staffed against it. It was impossible to get people to get to my emails in a timely fashion. Here, there was something on the books that I can calendar every month to really inspect how we're doing there. And I remember hearing someone be really astonished. They had big properties there, but they had never fully embraced digital.
And we were absolutely crushing it in their eyes. Now, it was super impressive to Pete, who was overseeing digital. It didn't really mean anything to anybody over there because radio, audio didn't mean anything to anyone over there. I do want to ask you about the Ron McGill thing, because I remember that being a battle that you had to have. What can you tell us about that?
There is nothing at ESPN I had to fight about more often than whether we could do the animal segment. I would say by a multiple of 10. Really? It always kept coming up till the very end. Would you please get rid of the animal segment? And
My response, I mean, I just remember where I've been in a strip mall in Aventura with Stugatz the first time I'm hearing it. That was unfortunate. It was a Morton Steakhouse. The executives thought we were meeting at the one in South Beach. We were not. That was too far from my house. We met at the one in a strip mall in Aventura. Stugatz had a high-level meeting at the shittiest steakhouse at a strip mall because he picked the location. That's the first time I remember thinking...
Is any of this going to work? Because they promised me they weren't going to change the show and they're coming in and they want to change Stugatz's name and they want to get, you know, our most popular guest off of the show. And so they were fights that I just kept reminding them, even though there was nothing in writing, hey, you guys told me you're not going to change the show. And you ultimately had the backing at the very top level. So these were little battles, but you won every single one of them. And I
I imagine there was a subtext of Skipper there the entire time. Somewhere around the summer that LeBron left, plans are already in place for us to move into the Clevelander. And you had actually gone pretty much a year scandal free. But then LeBron decides to take his talents back to Cleveland. And we talk openly on our ESPN radio show about a stunt.
And this is the first time we ever really get in real trouble with ESPN. Why was that, Dan? We did talk about for weeks on the air, buying a newspaper ad, finding out how much it cost and then getting upset because the newspaper in Cleveland wouldn't do that to LeBron, where we would put up an advertisement full page. You're welcome, LeBron signed Miami. And so when the newspaper wouldn't
do it and we were talking about all of this this is how we ended up getting liam a babysitter because nobody was listening to this stuff and when they suspended me they said you didn't give us any advance warning and all of our listeners knew about this we then end up putting for the same price that or less than it would have cost to put a newspaper ad in i think it was 11 billboards in act
Yeah, I was going to dress like John Cusack and say anything.
And that's when I had my first ever conversation with ESPN Global Security telling me straight up, I couldn't do that.
It feels like it came together really fast and it did somewhat come together fast, but it also was moving really slow at the time, like if that makes sense. There were like grand plans for that whole thing and some of the things ended up getting canceled because of the suspension or whatever it was that happened like as a result of it. So like we would talk about it every day and say we're going to do this, we're going to do that and like do it on air, but no one I guess was really taking it seriously and
until it actually happened. And I assume that someone from the NBA or someone stepped in and reached out to ESPN once it actually happened and
and said, hey, we're partners here. You can't be having your talent go and put up billboards. But I remember a back and forth and seeing multiple mock-ups of what it is that the billboards were supposed to look like. While it's going on, you're figuring out all of the dumb legalities that go into some of these things. So one of the versions of the billboard had the pictures of the actual rings on it, the actual Heat Championship rings. And then they came back and they said that we couldn't use the actual images of the rings
because it was like there's a copyright issue where like the design on the ring was owned by the ring designer. So then they had to go back and then mock up like cartoon versions of the rings and like recreations. Like that's why it looked the way that it looked. And then there was like a big debate with everyone here of what it should look like, what font should be used. And like,
Comic Sans ended up being the one that won and it was because of the Dan Gilbert letter. But like that was a back and forth. Do we use this font? Do we use that font? This looks better. That looks better. What should it say at the bottom? Should it say the Dan Levitard show? Should it say love Papi and Stugatz? Like what should it say? And that was only like the first phase because after that there was supposed to be, I don't remember if it was skywriting or a banner that was supposed to happen.
like the day of the actual I'm coming home party. And then once the suspension happened, then like all of the rest of the plans ended up getting canceled. There was a lot more that was supposed to happen, but it happened like very quickly, but also felt like it was taking forever because it felt like we were doing something bad, which then they ended up telling us you did something bad. Don't do that anymore.
I got to be honest with you, the entire time I've been on the show and at ESPN in particular, the billboards, one example, but it was basically a never ending feeling of, is this the thing that's going to get us fired? And I know it sounds crazy, but it was like a very stressful environment at ESPN where you
honestly or I honestly because like I'm you know an anxious person but it was constantly like is this going to be the thing that ends the show is this going to be the thing that Dan gets fired over is this going to be the thing that now I need to explain to everyone why I don't have a job and like it was never because of something I was doing it was always like I'm just kind of like an appendage here but is this going to be the final straw that breaks the camel's back that gets us all fired in
In talking this out, we have to mention that Allison Turner joined our team somewhere in this in-between. And she was really influential in helping you out with those bigger in scope types of activations. Allison was the first ever management person I spoke to. She essentially gave me my internship at 790. She had gone to QAM and bounced back and forth.
I don't know if she was still working in media by the time that Dan reached back out to her. Why did you bring Alison Turner back into the fold? Excellent radio ear. She was our program director. She was the PD at 790 for a good year, but she was a radio lifer. And quite frankly, I mean, we're a bunch of cavemen. We needed Alison around to kind of help us out. But she really did help Dan from this standpoint. She got the show organized.
We needed it to be organized. She was a big help to you. From guest booking, no doubt. She was one of the best guest bookers that I've ever come across. And that's where I feel like she really elevated our show from that standpoint. A production standpoint, an organization standpoint, a maturity standpoint. But the guests were better. I love Allison. My earliest memories of Allison Turner joining the team was her being brought on to book guests a little bit after Mike took over. And we had multiple studios and...
She would not sit in our studio. She would go and sit in a production studio at the Waxy building. It would be like a studio like down the hall and she'd just be kind of booking guests the entire time. And I didn't have like a great relationship with her at the beginning. Not that I had a bad relationship with her, but it was just like she was booking guests. I was, you know, editing. So we didn't really work that.
that closely together at the beginning when we were at the Waxy studio. My relationship with Allison really like blossomed and became solidified once we moved to the Clevelander.
Was Allison joining us more born out of Hawk leaving initially or we're on ESPN now? We need to punch up this guest list. I just needed all purpose help because it's soon thereafter. And I hope I'm not making a mistake here and how I remember this, but it's soon thereafter ended up with her also being my assistant where there's just a lot of stuff that I needed help with because things had become unbearable.
Unwieldy, unruly, having three jobs was a little bit too much and the show needed help in a variety of different places because among other things, when we're making this transition, I mean, you guys are kind of still kids. I'm putting that in quotes. You guys are really young people in this industry. And so we needed somebody who had veteran radio chops other than Stugatz because I didn't have them.
I didn't know how any of this stuff was supposed to run. I didn't have any experience. The only radio show I had done was a Sunday morning show that I did from the office of my house that never had any interaction with anybody on Sunday morning because I did not have any idea how radio was supposed to work. And she did. Her and Stugatz did.
She had tons of experience. Dan pointed out earlier, she was the program director at 790 to take it. I ended up firing her because I read an email I wasn't supposed to read. It was not supposed to land in my inbox. It was unfortunate. Dan told me not to. I regret it till this day. I really do. I've apologized to her several times, but I was so glad that she came back into the fold because for me, it felt like, okay, I'm correcting something that I did
wrong years ago by bringing Allison back into the show because I knew even while firing her how great she was at her job and how valuable she could be to any radio station and any radio show and especially Dan and she was valuable. This was another one though, Mike, and I'm taking some tabulations of this as well as we go through the rummaging of our past. I was paying her myself. Like, I don't know who...
else was paying her. Like there might have been some money she was getting elsewhere, but it wasn't enough for her to make the kind of living she needed to because this is such a shitty business. In the early going, she wasn't on the books for Lincoln Financial because she's not in the department meetings. She certainly wasn't on the payroll for ESPN because that took a long time for everybody to get on the payroll at ESPN. Yeah, you were paying her out of your own pocket.
We were very fresh-faced back then. We were all in our 20s, your production team. Chris Cody is starting to enter the fray as a nepo baby intern. And we have Chris, we have Billy, we have Roy, we have myself. All mid to early 20s at this time. Not married, not kids. But I also remember us really kind of growing closer as a family because you were moving Hawk.
You're bringing in young guys. We all had to figure this out together. We're at ESPN. Allison comes in. She helps us. I feel like it was probably one of the best times for our show in terms of off-air chemistry, where we were really close. We were working on things together. Booking was done by me, you, and Allison. It felt like teaching moments, at least for me. I don't know about Dan, but for me and Allison, these felt like teaching moments, and it was cool to see you guys grow. It's interesting to hear you say that. When I think of sort of the most joyful, creative time, it's
early, late at night with Hawk working on some of the stuff early that was changing what our show would be at the beginning. But it makes sense from the vantage point that you're talking about. Once you guys are now in charge, you guys seize on the creative hunger of, oh, here's our opportunity. And so you're doing the same thing in the second evolution of the show that me and Hawk
we're doing in the first evolution of the show. We'll close the billboard loop in a minute, but it's important because all this stuff is happening at the similar timeline. Initially, it's only human for me to be very threatened by the person that gave me my initial internship.
It's a weird dynamic. All of a sudden she comes into the team and you made it clear she's here to help you. She's here to help you. I had conversations with her. It felt very clear she was there to help. Oh, and now that you bring it up though, Mike. Yes, no, she was hired because we needed some help with how we were being produced. Now that you mention it, you're bringing back to mind. No, Allison was brought in as reinforcement to help some of the things where we were weak. Utility player.
Jose Akendo. That's what she was. You were threatened by that? It's only human to be like, okay, they're bringing in an adult, a person that has been in this industry for a long time. It complicates the dynamic a little bit more if your very first memory of that industry is this person gave you your internship and now,
all of a sudden, several years later, they're essentially reporting to you. I had never encountered that kind of power dynamic. And I say power dynamic loosely because at this point, Dane is very much in firm control of all the decisions when it comes to this show. Well, that's why I'm surprised that you were that threatened because you knew Dan at that point. You knew how loyal he was. I was still very much in proven mode. And the second that I felt like I had my feet under me on the local level, National came around.
And this just starts a series of events of anytime I got comfortable, something in the dynamic would change where no one had experience with. To be fair, Hawk didn't have experience producing a national radio show either. He would have had a lot to learn at that point, but at least he was an adult. He was a bald man with a family at that point. Like...
There is a certain je ne sais quoi about having a bald man at the helm and then looking at me with a snapback and heat merch on. It counts for something. Bald was a very important detail. I'm glad you threw it in there. He's been bald since he was like 20. He was a grown-ass man. Since he still smelled of embryonic fluid. He came out of the womb with a cul-de-sac for hair. But what Mike is bringing up there just brings back the memory. I didn't realize until you just said it now. No, it's your being threatened
that remind me and you reminding me of you being threatened. Oh, that's right. That's how that happened. Allison was hired because I just needed to get some young people who would be threatened some help. Like I just needed to get them some reinforcements behind them so that they could feel a little bit stronger. Yeah, so your intentions were good, but you hired someone who was a threat to all of them.
But I will say you were right when you said in terms of chemistry, everybody getting along off air. Yes. I got over my own insecurities, which were not totally unfounded. I had reason to be insecure. I did not master that job. Allison coming in absolutely boosted deficiencies that I had. So not just do I feel insecure because this person gave me my internship several years ago. Now, does Dan not trust me? But also I'm
very keenly aware of where my weak spots are. So that is going to play into the dynamic. Your job was never in jeopardy, though. It's so weird to me. Your job at no point was in jeopardy. Like, I know this better than you. These are your insecurities speaking. There was no point that you were going to lose that job. We were going to figure it out. It was at this point after a year...
of having clean shows with ESPN after coming out of the Hawk stuff that I did feel secure in that as long as Dan wants to stay in this version of the media game and I don't mess it up, I got a job here. But the insecurity came from my own personal insecurities. The fact that at that time, she was a different type of producer, but she was a much better producer than I was. They're natural insecurities.
I can't turn to Dan. How do I deal with this dynamic over at ESPN? Because the job was still protect Dan from ESPN, and it pops up during this billboard. But as you're saying this, do you realize that's why he brought Allison in? I know why he brought Allison in, and I can see that Allison...
absolutely helped us where she needed to help us. I will also concede that maybe not initially there because I knew I had a lot of ground to make up and she was so good, especially early on. And Dan was really good. You were really good. We're all a team. We're here to help you. I think everybody was aware that I was put in a weird position.
We're all 20-year-old shitheads. And here comes a seasoned radio vet that gave you your break. I think you all kind of knew that that would be a little awkward for me. But y'all did a great job with it. She was wonderful. And like I said, our chemistry was really good at this time. And we were doing good shit. I was feeling more confident in my on-air character. We had fun.
fewer co-hosts. The show was starting to hum and the ESPN stuff was starting to pick up traction. We had fans over at ESPN. We kept getting people from ESPN telling us that, hey, they're playing you in the halls because that's one of the places that you are cleared inside the ESPN internal office. And we really stuck out with their entire daily lineup over there. But we get into this hot water with the LeBron billboards that Allison helps with in securing planes and never go up into the air. I never actually make it to Akron.
Now at 11, it's a sign of the times. This billboard poking fun at LeBron James went viral yesterday. Well, tonight, the man, the Miami radio host behind the billboard has been both silenced and suspended.
GOOD EVENING, I'M DANITA HARRIS. CHRIS IS IN CHICAGO TONIGHT GETTING READY FOR TOMORROW'S VOTE TO BRING THE 2016 REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION TO CLEVELAND. WE'RE GOING TO CHECK IN WITH HIM IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS. BUT FIRST, MESSAGE DELIVERED. YOU'RE WELCOME, LEBRON. WE SHOWED YOU THE CONTROVERSIAL BILLBOARD IN AKRON LAST NIGHT. NOW THE ESPN RADIO HOST WHO PAID FOR IT IS NOW PAYING THE PRICE. NEWSCHANNEL 5'S MICHAEL BALL WENT LIVE IN LEBRON'S HOMETOWN WHERE DAN LEBITARD'S SILENCE
DEFINITELY HAS PEOPLE TALKING. "Yeah, Danita, we won't be hearing from ESPN host Dan Lebitard anytime soon. That's because he's been suspended for two days. He's been suspended for putting up signs like these throughout the city of Akron. And notice, Danita, I said these. That's because there's more than one. Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but six.
That's right, six of these You're Welcome, LeBron, Love Miami billboards spread across Akron. They cost about $100,000 and they were put up by ESPN TV and radio host Dan Lebertard, who lives in Miami. Well, the four-letter network suspended him for two days because they say they had no idea what he was up to. They released a statement saying in part...
His recent stunt does not reflect ESPN's standards and brand. We were not made aware of his plans in advance. Levitar sent a text to a reporter in response to the suspension, which reads, I guess ESPN didn't find it at all quite as funny as I did. Nope. And neither did people from Akron like the LeBron James Grandmothers fan club. I did not like the billboard, no. That's for my child.
Don't mess with our child. A Miami Herald reporter spoke to LeBretard and says we may be out of bounds on the sign's message. Dan did it all in jest. To him, it was all good-natured fun. It was never meant as...
No matter what the billboard's message is, people in Akron think ESPN did the right thing by having Levitard sit on the bench a few days. Well, I think he did it underhanded then. You know, if they didn't know about it, they did the right thing by suspending him.
OF THOSE SIX BILLBOARDS THAT WE FOUND, WE FOUND ONE NEAR SPRINGFIELD TOWNSHIP AND ANOTHER ONE NEAR COVENTRY. IT WAS JUST OVER THE ACRON LINE. NOW AGAIN, DAN LEBITAR'S PRODUCER IS SUPPOSED TO BE COMING TO THE RALLY TOMORROW. HE SAYS HE HAS ANOTHER FEW SURPRISES FOR US. WE'LL HAVE TO SEE WHAT THOSE ARE. ALL RIGHT, WE'RE LIVE IN ACRON. I'M MICHAEL BALDWIN, NEWSCHANNEL 5. OH, WONDER WHAT THEY COULD BE. OKAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MICHAEL.
We put up all these billboards and ESPN is in scramble mode because the top line didn't know about this. And when they asked their middle management what happened here, they didn't listen either. So they're all trying to play catch up because now ESPN is reacting to a reaction, which was pretty toxic. And Dan, you were the only ESPN employee at the time. We were off in no man's land waiting to hear from you. How many phone calls did you get and what were they like during this point? There was a lot of...
panic from everybody i remember where i was i was driving around in circles around joe's stone crab because i was headed into the show and they're like you're not on the show you're suspended and they yanked you two off of the air as well and didn't ask any opinions about it it was just a unilateral decision i thought you guys were going to do the show in my absence but
The whole thing was yanked off the air. And I just felt like it was people colliding into each other, confused. And he thought ESPN was going to put us up. If I remember correctly, we were pulled off the air. I had driven to Miami Garden. Minutes earlier. I was there. We were like, what are we going to do here? Like, hello, into microphones. Because they also told us we couldn't talk about it. We did have conversations about how do we go about doing this show? Like, oh, you can't talk about it.
And Sugatsu's like, we can't talk about why Dan isn't here? What are we doing? We were straight up like, we lose all credibility with our audience, both local and national, if we don't reference why Dan's not here. So it was actually kind of negotiated. You're right.
We'll just get some bristle guy to fill in here because we kept it real with our audience and we couldn't, with a straight face, look at our audience and be like, we can't talk about why Dan's not here. They told us you can't even mention that Dan's not there, even though it was pretty obvious. But I remember being really scared by it because it made me realize how outsized reactions are if it gets picked up elsewhere. Because we were talking about it for weeks. I was joking about it. And I remember I'm like, shit, am I in trouble? Because...
a PD reached out to me for details and I was kind of being vague with it because he hadn't been listening to the shows. Like, what exactly do you have planned? I'm like, you're going to find out with everybody else. And I'm also not an ESPN employee. So can I get away with saying that to a person that's my boss? Mike, the notion of people not listening to us, we come from a local radio background where the program director's job and really the GM is to listen to every second of every show every single day. And we arrive at this
Big corporate giant ESPN, and they're not listening to us. We're not accustomed to that. But so much. But Dan, that was the main topic on our show for days leading up. But so much of this was confusing to me because if you guys remember, our very first show, they say to us, where's the rundown?
That's correct. That's the correct response. What do you mean run down? We don't do it that way. There's not a skeleton of organization on how it is that we do these things. It's why it is that it stood out and was weird and sloppy and different from everything that was happening. But I wasn't scared when that suspension came down. That's exactly the job that Skipper hired me to do is make fires that don't matter to create a bit
of influence for the other shows that are formatted to have more permission to paint outside the lines. It was what the instruction manual said, but it was always interesting to me how as a shadowy figure, Skipper was protecting me, but I didn't know he was protecting me. I remember one time I went to New Orleans to meet him for dinner somewhere, and then-
When I got back that week, everyone at Bristol was calling me saying, I heard you had dinner with Skipper. And I called Skipper and I'm like, hey, I didn't tell anybody that we had dinner. I didn't tell anybody. He's like, no, I did. I did.
I want them to know because they weren't having a lot of contact with him either. You have to understand the gulf of difference between where the power was at ESPN and the people who were running it daily. And those people weren't listening to our show. So we just got a longer holiday that weekend. And I got to tell you, I listened to that show, though. And Bob Valvano was so good. I felt threatened. Yeah.
That was where your insecurities crept in. But I remember it kind of feeling a little badass and my chest was a little puffed out. Like, yeah. No doubt. People definitely lost their jobs. Not directly, but several months later when they did layoffs, I had a little guilt because the person that was overseeing us at that moment that I played coy with, like, did they get punished? Did they reverse engineer this punishment because of how poorly this went? So part of that has still kind of bothered me, but...
But plans kept chugging along. We were headed to the Clevelander. And at the end of that summer, we finally left our Waxy Studios, which we haven't given the proper amount of love throughout this oral history. That was radio. Waxy Studios. I have plenty of stories about us building out the Clevelander. I spent so many hours, hours on end, building out this studio from scratch with the aforementioned wand. And that was great because I got to basically curate a comfort zone and a new ecosystem for us to play with.
but I don't really recall ever being sad to leave Miami Gardens. I was pretty pumped up about it and all the possibilities that the Clevelander would bring. Do you have any positive nostalgia for the first place that we were creating our content? I remember Dan told me we were moving to the Clevelander, and what I started to do the next day was look at houses that were more north. They were in West Palm Beach. I was living in Plantation. I started looking and
making my commute a lot longer than it needed to be. I don't know why I did that. I still don't know why I did that. I should have moved to Miami. I was not sad either. The Clevelander felt big. It really did because you're watching like big sporting events in Miami and they're always coming in. Even though they're being played a half hour away in Miami Gardens, they're always coming in on the Clevelander. So it felt big to me. I was not nervous. I was not sad until I arrived at the Clevelander.
Then the sadness started to kick in. It's a sad place sometimes. Because it felt big, but the rooms that we were creating, very small. Yes. We felt like we were there to do our radio show because part of this was the discussions, hey, we're going to start putting your radio show on TV in some form or fashion. So we're going to design the studio with that in mind. And you get there.
And you realize highly questionable is this bigger operation. Yes. And we have a little broom closet, but it was our broom closet. And I was so happy to stop commuting to Miami Gardens. It was like a murder a block away. Same here. It was not the safest place. And I remember just being really jacked up about this is ours. Everybody knows the Clevelander.
What we had in the Clevelander, despite it being basically a closet, our equipment was far superior than what we had at 790 The Ticket, but dealing with Disney here. This is Disney money. So, you know, we kind of had the best there. You know, it helps when your host brother is an artist. Having the artwork around the studio, it kind of made everything seem more colorful. It seemed brighter. But it's better than walking into a studio that looked like it was straight-out disco.
And Dan, for you, that was one of the things that they sold you on, right? It was, but I don't have the bad feelings about Waxy that you guys do. It did feel like it was stuck in the 1970s, 1980s. There were no windows. So many boogers on that bathroom wall. Oh, I miss them. But...
I actually associate it with the charm and hunger and inspiration of our start when you don't really take too much inventory of those particular things. So I was happy to be going to do something that would be
and feel bigger because the difference between South Beach and Miami Gardens is the difference between Las Vegas and... Reno. I'm going to say... Jordan and LeBron. Okay, yes. Back to Jordan and LeBron. Yes, fine. Yes, the difference between Jordan and LeBron. But when I got to the Clevelander, one of the many things that I noticed was...
ESPN, smoke and mirrors making television look a lot bigger and badder than it actually is. It was a very small place that didn't look like a very small place on television because of how good Bristol had gotten at making that stuff look like magic. Mike, did you miss Waxy at all? Never.
part of the reason i got into radio was i wanted to be a part of like a local cluster so the one thing now that i'm thinking about it that i missed was i love walking through the halls and you just bump into ron st john you know and it's 1027 magic 101.5 light fm and 790 the ticket i missed that i missed magic 102.7 the old station but also where ron st john used to be would be a nude calendar photo shoot in the middle of the clevelander bar that if espn knew this was happening they'd
pull the plug immediately. It was a small space, but they had big visions for the Cleveland room. Instead of bald Ron St. John, there's a woman on stilts wearing only body paint dancing near the pool outside. At 11. Yes. It wasn't 11, but it was 3 p.m. He didn't have to exaggerate that. It didn't need the lie. It was 3 p.m. Oh, wow.
No, I swear to God, it wasn't body paint. I got there early enough one day that there was a fully nude woman taking a photo shoot for a calendar inside that bar that we'd have to walk through. That's right. Yeah. So coming up in the next episode, we'll talk about how we decided to hold that information from ESPN and create a whole bunch of content for a little network called Fusion. Fusion.
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- The Miami Heat are the biggest disappointment in sports. - I hope they are uncomfortable. I hope they are stressed. I hope they are embarrassed. I hope everything, because they have flagrantly failed to live up to expectations. There is so many things that they have done wrong. - I wanted another commercial where LeBron says, "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there with a clutch gene," because he doesn't have any clutch gene. - You don't just roll out people and win basketball games.
Is Miami done? Yes. Finished? It's over.
Wow, it's over. You guys came out there jumping on stage like idiots, so quit whining and bitching like a little girl. I don't believe they want it bad enough. What holes are you guys exploiting in this defense? Them complaining and crying to referees in transition. LeBron James was made for the regular season, but come postseason time, he's the most overrated, overhyped superstar in my history in this business. Seriously. Take that with you!
They're not what they were sold to be. They're certainly not winning an NBA World Championship. Not only is this series over, everything's over for Miami. Stugatz, how do you spell the name of Oklahoma City's star? D-U-R-A.
Well, you got to get rid of the D because Oklahoma City doesn't play any of that. And you got to get rid of the U because he plays for Miami. He doesn't play for Oklahoma City. So what does that leave you? That leaves you with rant. What is that? R-A-N-T. What is that? Rant. Give it to me! Yeah! Give it to me! Yeah! Give it to me! Again! Yeah!
What's Miami saying to Bill Simmons right now? Tell us how our asterisk tastes! LeBron just stuck a footnote right up your... Choke, Oklahoma City! Choke, Oklahoma City! And now your hearts are... Oklahoma City! You put your oil in... We put our oil in women! Where's LeBron eat, Stugatz? Where's he eat? Tell me, Dad...
Perkins! Yeah! John Barry was traded for Allah Abdul Nabi! No way! You stole the Sonics! We'll steal your Chronic! We traded Wade Fired Spoh and tore up the Blueprint seven games ago! I did that. National media! They can kiss my old Cuban ass! Give it to me again! Give it to me again! Perkins!
last three games with a pulled LeBron is gonna spend his entire summer getting groin pulled not one not two not three not LeBron wasn't counting championships he was looking through your for a total number of teeth oh no Mike Miller broke your back with a broken back back is broken spinal Eddie Curry has
I get buckets! I get buckets! Doodle jump! Doodle jump! Not one! Not two! Not three! Not four! Hey, Poppy! They can kiss my old Cuban ass. Give it to me again! Yeah! Give it to me again! Give it to me again! Oklahoma is known for tornadoes that blow everything around! Miami is known for women who do that!
has tons of natural gas. Miami has so much more artificial ass. A beach. We have hot models.
We have a trophy. You don't. You do have that boomer schooner thing, though, which is kind of cool. Yeah, it is. Mo Cheeks. Mo Cheeks. Is that an assistant coach or what Norris Cole says during a table dance at Tootsie's? My voice is done, Sukat. I can tell, Dad. Carry us out, Poppy. What do you have to say to the
to the national media. They can kiss my old Cuban ass. Dan, I am not going to let you stop. This is a chance. I got nothing left. No, this is a championship rant. You have never called for a fourth rant. I got cramps. I got cramps. Come and carry me out of here. You got to dig deep, Dan. You got to dig deep. You got to give it to them one more time. Just one more time. It's a championship rant. Give it to me again. You don't get to do this, Dan.
that off and give it to me. Yeah! Miami's team has onions. Oklahoma City's team has nunions. Team has onion rings. Oklahoma City has nunion rings. Nunion rings. That belt that Kevin Durant wears, that belt, it's very thin. It's a very thin belt. LeBron James couldn't even get that long.
Okay, sitting cage. Phil Empino Jackson. Eric's bolster is Phil Empino Jackson. I'm hopping around on one leg. Here's two dots. Dan did the last stanza on one leg. He's my personal LeBron James. Tell them what you think of the national media. They can kiss my old Cuban ass. So the traveling band of Heat players, here are Roy's top ten names.
for this traveling band of Heat players. Dan, before we get started here, because you know I like to write these things down, I keep them, I have a folder with all of Roy's top tens in them, and I list them, one through ten, and I haven't been good, I've been off my game lately, but I only have one guess here, but you would agree this should, this should be on the list right here, right at number three? That's pretty good. That should be on the list at number three. That's the first thing you've ever written down in all the time we've been doing this show that has been good.
I'm guessing that's on the list. You're guessing that's on the list? I'm guessing that's going to make the list. And you're maintaining it six and a half years of doing the show. That's the first thing you've written down on paper that is good. Because I write down a lot of questions during interviews and you've allowed me to ask them. That's just to let you talk. Okay. That right there is the first clever thing you've ever written on a piece of paper. How about this one? F you is what he just wrote down. Number E.
And you're on a roll. That would be the second. You're on fire this segment. Number 10, Roy. The 10th best name that you have for the traveling band of Heat members would be? Fleetwood McAdoo. There's always a McAdoo in this list. I think we've got five consecutive lists with a McAdoo reference. Number nine, Roy. Rage Against the McGlory.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think McGlore would make this. I think your number three is going to make this list. You do, right? I think it's going to be at number three, actually. Number eight, Roy. Hall and Arroyo. It's a bit of a stretch. Well, but now I'm confused by it because these lists tend to be Afrocentric and Arroyo's not.
It's pretty damn funny. Number seven, Roy. Earth, wind, and the fire in John Howard's eyes. Number six, Roy. Dexter's Midnight Runners. Now I'm just confused by the list. Number five, Roy. Gladys Knight and the Damps. You had to know that was coming. I did? You had to know. What number are we on here, Roy? We're on four. These are Roy's preferred nicknames instead of the Heedles.
For this traveling band of Heat members. Number four, Roy. Jones Temple Pilots. I'm going to write that one in. Temple Pilots. Here's your chance to be right here, Stugatz. I think you're going to get it right here. And this one's better than Jones Temple Pilots, right? Yes. Number three, Roy. LeBron Jovi. Yeah! At three! He nailed it! At three! At number three! At number three!
He's in your head, Roy. He is in your head. I can't believe I placed it in my head. You had it. Yes, you got it exactly right. Wow. Number two, Roy. Haslam and the Blowfish. All of these would be Skip Bayless approved, right? Skip Bayless would be okay with all of these, yes? Well, yeah, it's not the Beatles, of course. And number one, Roy. The Mike Miller Band. Roy.
People writing in with heat loaf. Wow, how'd that get lit up? Heat loaf, the word. We can have some fun. I'm sure our listeners can come up with some great ones here. Tim Kirchhen is one of the nicest men in the world, so this is the reason we want to play this game because I can't imagine Tim Kirchhen saying anything bad about anyone. Never. So let's see. Let's go ahead and give me some of the production value on this new segment. Here we go.
And now it's time to play Douche or No Douche. Here's your host, Douche Labrador. Wearing sunglasses while playing poker, douche or no douche? I repeat, this is the dumbest show I've ever been on. Douche, take them off, you're inside. Exploding fist bumps, douche or no douche?
Douche, I hate that stuff. Just act like you've done this once. Guy who thinks he would score six goals out of ten on a World Cup goalie. Douche or no douche? That's a double douche. Hey! Whoa! Mixing alcohol and an energy drink. Douche or no douche? I'm going to say no douche, but you've got to be an idiot, I guess, to do that. Calling people chief. Douche or no douche? Douche.
Triple douche. Jeremy Shockey, douche or no douche? No douche. He can beat up all three of us by himself, and that's a fact, too. He would kill all three of us in a fight. Jager bombs, douche or no douche? I've never had one, but I'm going to say no douche, because if I drank one of them, I would throw up, I'm sure. Quoting from The Hangover, douche or no douche? No douche. That was pretty funny.
See you later, Kirchhen. Okay, guys. See you. Thanks, Chief. This guy didn't lose. For as long as the UFC was relevant, he did not lose. And he lost Saturday night, and it was embarrassing to anybody who loves the sport or loves him. And afterward, he sounded like the fugitive who has finally been caught. That's not me applying 44-year-old sensibilities.
To a fighter. I am not a fighter. Anybody who knows or listens to their show knows that I am not a fighter or haven't been a long time, except for, you know, those days when I was in Coconut Grove at the tavern and
I got my shirt pulled over my head and got kicked in the ear and stopped traffic and went home with a bloody ear. But I don't do that anymore. Yeah, it doesn't sound like you were fighting much there. It sounds like someone was kicking your ass. The guy knew martial arts. I didn't know that that's what I was up against. If I'd known that that's what I was up against, I had no idea. I actually got lucky. I lost a shoe in the street. Right.
And traffic got backed up because I was in the street with a bloody ear and my shirt pulled over my head. Lucky it wasn't worse is what you're saying. I am very lucky it wasn't worse. I shouldn't have gone down that path. I mean, because all of a sudden he starts doing martial arts and I'm looking at him and I feel like Indiana Jones in that movie, but without the weapon. Like I don't have a gun and I'm like, oh no, what have I done? Because once he puts the shirt over the head, you know you're in big trouble. Well, I knew I was in big trouble before that.
Long before the shirt got pulled over my head, I knew I was in trouble. I'm like, oh, no. Bigger than me. And he knows martial arts. Bleep. Oh. That's a bad recipe. Poor choice by me. And then my ear is bleeding. Oh, that's a new sneaker. I didn't even know why my ear was bleeding. I just, you know. Did you ever get the sneaker back? Yes, I got it. Yes. Shoe came off. Well, you are lucky then, you know.
♪♪
Excuse me. I hope you enjoyed this commercial break. We saw much drama in the LBC. It is kind of hard being Snoop D-O-double G. Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got. I'm still, I'm still, papi from the block. I hope you enjoyed this commercial break. I'm not a player. I just crush a lot. Aha. Okay. What's up? Shut up. I hope you enjoyed this commercial break. No one on the corner has swagger like us. My hump. My hump. My.
My hump, my lovely lady lumps. Check it out. I hope you're enjoying this commercial break.
Tell your friends to get with my friends and we can be friends. We could do this every weekend. Stop, drop, shut them down, open up shop. Oh no, that's a rough rider's role. I hope you enjoyed this commercial break. Never meant to make your daughter cry. I apologize a trillion times. I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson. I'm for real. Lo más grande que son, lo más duro caen.
Okay, kind kind kind do you have a pen? Yeah? Kind yeah kind like I but kind kind Yeah, Los mas grande. I'm just practicing Los mas grande case on is this Los. What is this? Okay, Los mas grande case on low mass duro kind
Is Dero right? Yeah. Try to pause between these two. Yeah, because you're saying the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Okay. Los más grandes que son, los más duro kind.
Los mas grande que son? Los mas grande que son?
But now, Juan
John Weiner, look for the perfect love. Why am I so alone? In all the places that you should not. Maria, I don't care that you are hunting my best friend, who is also a dangerous criminal.
Okay, dale. Maria, donde estas? Por que, Maria? Ranas?
¿Por qué hay ranas? Y un mejor amigo de gran maldad, quien no se detiene a nada para matar su romance. Juan Wither, estuve esperando que enseñaras tu cara de cobarde. Ron San Juan de Magico 102.7, ¿qué has hecho con Maria? ¿Cosas malas? Haha.
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He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan Wiener He is Juan W
Pounce his fists on the triple lemon Hoping he'll see the legend Glen Rice play more games And some moron sandwiches And it's a little peculiar Of eating ribs with his hands It's insane Oh yeah John's has low Catchphrase Bad news for Opposing teams in the triple
He's all smiles. Till the bloods are clutch again. Clutch again. Clutch again. John Taslow. How you like catchphrase? Oh, bad news for Ray John Rondo's stupid face. He's all smiles.
Boston's never winning it all again! Stupid face! Stupid face! Who's stomping round the Dolphin Facility? Topping up everybody he sees. Who's cracking skulls and stealing from Rookie? Everyone knows it's Richie!
Who's eating nails and poisonous kohlrass Intimidating guys on his team Who stole my wife and broke my new glasses Everyone knows it's Richie And Richie has monstrous thighs Be careful, he'll gouge your eyes Screams racial slurs at black guys But out of line
But there's one sound.
What does the guy say? Horror. Era. Ballylee. Sentinel. Communimate. Mirror. Rob. Jergy. Turk. Human. Comfy. Unpowerable.
What does the GAT say?
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for a ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I've acquired over a very long career.
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you. I will find you, and I will kill you. Marty, this town is like a memory. And the memory is fading. It's just a jungle. A gutter out there in outer space. Okay, very good. I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became self-aware...
That's nature creating an aspect of nature that goes against itself. LeBron James should not exist according to natural law. The honorable thing to do, Marty, is to deny your programming. Walk hand in hand with your brother, Stu, into your own extinction. Skip Bayless, the reason why the San Antonio Spurs should be favored to come out of the West...
and would make the finals tough is because of the emergence of Tiago Splitter. Thank you. Danny Green's not winning the finals MVP. Danny Green is not going to continue that pace of shooting.
In this series. That's what I like to hear, Lewis. He's not! That's what I like to hear. That's not what I like to hear. You're losing grip with reality. I mean, he only has to do it one more time. He's done it time and time again in this series. Welcome to Thunderdome! You're in Thunderdome now. You're messing with the champs. Three-time that core. Tim Duncan, four-time champs. Okay? All aboard, people. All aboard.
back-to-back. It ain't easy, folks. It ain't. Gotta dig deep down. Heart of a champion and it looks like they got a bigger heart than us so far. Who's gonna prove me wrong? Shane? Is it gonna be you? Battier? You listening? You're a Duke guy. You're smart. Gonna be you? Give me all you got. He wasn't listening. He hasn't been listening this series because he's barely into it. Talk to Ray, Mike. Talk to Ray. Ray, look at me. You gonna give me all you got?
Give me all you got. Chalmers. What the hell, man? What the hell? I'll get back to you. I'm still seething. Miller. Kind of confusing the last two games. Give me all you got. Udonis. You're a warrior. You've been giving me all you got for years and years and years. Two more games. Couldn't give me all you got. Joel Anthony. Don't touch the ball. You just stay away.
James Jones, nice looks in garbage time. Hit a three list. You always giving me what you got and you're always ready. Got no problem with you. LeBron. Why are you talking to the back end of the roster? I don't understand why you started this speech. LeBron James, big man on campus, four-time MVP, finals champ. Weighed the world off your shoulders. Now you're free. Now you're the boat. Boris DL stopped you. That fat ass Boris DL.
Wade's doing it. I know Wade's giving me all he's got. LBJ, MVP. Now, don't think I don't know what's going on with that Nike campaign on the side of the building. There's one checkmark on there. 2013, MVP. There's supposed to be more checkmarks on there. There's supposed to be NBA champion and NBA finals MVP. You're going to let down Nike, Bron? You're going to let down your team? You're going to let down the city? We're talking legacy. Give me all you got. Give me all you got. Spoh. Oh, dear God.
You just watch the chemistry and the body language of these guys. Wade and LeBron, they don't sit next to each other on the bench anymore. It does seem like something a little bit funky is going on with this team. LeBron James is going to be thought of as Will Chamberlain, a guy who was a great, great individual player, but who could not influence his team to win. And I'll tell you one other thing. He'll be out of there the first time he can opt out because if they don't win this year, they're not going to win next year with this cast.
I am seeing shades of the '07 finals LeBron James here. Shane Battier just can no longer play. You need a replacement for Dwyane Wade. You need a new number two. I expect San Antonio as constituted now to beat
If I'm in one of the other 29 teams, I'm not looking at Dwayne Wade like we have to get that guy. He's a franchise player, totally worth $20 million. I'm looking at it as I'm going to just sort of let the heat roll with this for another summer unless they take on something really awful from my team.
I wouldn't be surprised if Riley fled the scene, regardless of how this season turns out. You've got to find a way to trade Chris Bosh. I don't think they can win four. I don't think they can win four. This Miami team that had built such a memorable, historic identity during the season has just now thrown it away. Give it to me. Give it to me again. Give it to me again!
San Antonio, as a franchise in its entire history, has never trailed in a final series until now. Tony Parker, your best player is French. Of course he's going to retreat at the end. Look out, here's Eva D'Angoria and wee-wee all over your dreams.
Duncan is from the Virgin Islands! When LeBron gets done vacationing there, they're just gonna be islands! Joel Anthony has as many rings as Will Chamberlain! He does. You can't spell manure without the man who... Give it to me again! Give it to me! Give it to me again! Again!
Drake couldn't get a room last night to hold the Larry O'Brien trophy. Hey, Drake, Barkley knows the feeling. Justin Varnado has as many rings as Dr. J. It's Jarvis, Dan. Whatever. Justin has as many rings as Jerry West and Oscar Robertson.
LeBron's 37 points in a game seven. More than any in any postseason game this year. Biggest game. Biggest time. Clutch this. I keeps it 300 like the Romans. 300, bitches. We're the Trojans. Give it to me. Give it to me again. Give it to me again. Yeah.
San Antonio is the fastest growing city in the United States. But it's only because of Boris Dio. Remember the Alamo? That's what he says to the waitress, kind of in his accent. Remember the Alamode? San Antonio is named after St. Andrews.
whose feast day is July 13th as opposed to Dio whose feast day is whatever day it happens to be. That's wrong. It is wrong. I feel bad about all of this. San Antonio's a nice, classy team, but Dusty San Antonio is known for tumbleweed. Birdman is going to spend his offseason tumbling in. Give it to me again. Give it to me.
Give it to Ken! Texas has San Antonio! One San Antonio! We have a million Antonios! Danny Green thought it was best of five! South Florida, kick that Texas! You pick up McGrady, while we'll pick up your ladies!
Done can. Done can't. Not one, not two, not three, not four. Now that doesn't sound so much like a joke anymore, does it? Now it sounds like a motherfucking threat. Give it to me again. Give it to me again. Championship rates. Give it to me again. Again. Back to back.
I'm five! 28 seconds left! The trophy got brought out! The court was roped off! I haven't seen anybody gag like that since two girls, one cup! We lost a shoe! You lost the game! We lost a headband! You lost a series! We almost lost the Marlins to your city!
Okay, you got us on that one. Norris Cole has two titles in two NBA years. Bill Russell, he's coming to get you. That's why Russell looked last night so old. He looks like he's wearing a costume of Bill Russell. My abs are cramping. Keep going, Levitz. Give it to me. Give it to Ken. Give it to me again. Again. Again.
We have a quaint boat that takes nice tourists down the river walk. We have a bang bus. You have actual cowboys in 2013. We have cocaine cowboys.
Hang in there, Levitts!
Larry Coker wins championships. There, he coaches the University of Texas San Antonio Whatevers. LeBron, bully. Bad hit, bully. Chalmers, bully. Anderson, bully.
Nobody else scored last night? No. That's it? Those are the only five guys that scored? Anderson had three points. Why am I calling him a bully? He had three. Nobody else scored? I don't know. Justin Varnado! Axe fucked up! Dan, it's Jarvis. Whatever! Ginobili! He'll just give you his cookies!
We pop that Gucci! You have a popovich! We pop champagne! You have a popovich! We pop a molly! I'm sweating. Woo! Give it to me! Give it to me again! Give it to me again! Again!
Oh, good Lord. I'm starting to feel bad for the Spurs. I felt three stanzas ago. I felt bad for them. They don't deserve this. They're classy. They're great. I feel guilty about it. They were hugging LeBron and Wade. America runs on Duncan. DL runs to Duncan. Wade dunks over Duncan.
You see that fast break with Duncan last night? Stugatz, only player in the league on the fast break who dribbles while looking at the ball. Poor Duncan. Only five Heat players scored during Game 7. But you know all of them scored afterward. Knock, knock. Who's there? Stugatz. Stugatz who? No, it's just you, Stugatz. You're knocking on the building because you left Game 6 early and you want back in. Knock, knock.
One more time. One more time. I'm going to have an aneurysm. Give it to me. Give me again. Give it to me again. Stugatz, two years in the league. Norris Cole, two trophies, two rings in two years. In 20 years, Norris Cole is going to be handing out finals MVP trophies. He's going to be the new Bill Russell.
Eat it. Eat more of it. Eat it with sauce. Come at the door.
Eat it with mayonnaise. What do you have to tell Simmons? Eat it with salsa. What do you have to tell Sid Rosenberg on General Prentable? Eat it all. What do you have to tell Michelle Peele? No, no, no. We need to stop now. No, no, no. Stop now. Go to break.
True or false? These are all true or false questions. True or false? I, LeBron, have talked to Dwayne Wade on the phone giggling about the beef with Kevin Durant. False. Oh, that ruins my next question. My next question is, I've talked to Kevin Durant on the phone giggling about the beef with Dwayne Wade. False. False. But I do look forward to talking to both of them about it, for sure. True or false? Mario Chalmers thinks he's better than I am.
True. Absolutely true. Come on, man. That's so great. True or false, I'm tired of having to tell people no when they ask me for money. True. Oh, you like that question? Yeah, he does. The end of the season, the first season in Miami, was the worst basketball pain I have ever known. True or false? Oh, man. It would be, yeah, I would say true.
You were Tom Hanks in Castaway. I can't even imagine, LeBron, what that was like. You went into hiding? Nobody could soothe you? Yeah, me and Wilson. You and him? You and him basketball? Remember, he told us he was in his house, and he'd come out for two weeks, and he didn't eat for two weeks, and he just hung out with Wilson? Me and Wilson. You and Wilson. True or false, last season felt better than even the first championship? True.
Why is that, by the way? Oh, man, I think, you know, just to be able to, you know, to repeat. And, you know, it was an unbelievable challenge for all of us, you know, and to be put back in that position where we compete for another finals, man, and,
To have the opportunity to have a game seven on our home floor, that was the ultimate. So I would definitely say true. So more rewarding because it was harder then, huh? Yeah, more rewarding because it was harder. Because, I mean, gosh, though, that seems hard to believe, though, LeBron, because game six in Boston, game six in Boston the second year was an insanity. It's not like that was easy. You're absolutely right. That was insanity, too. I mean, you can...
Probably 99.9% of America and the world thought, you know, it was over for us again and going into Boston to where we didn't have too much success. True or false, LeBron? True or false that he consulted me before going in on Odin and Beasley? False. You know, but, you know, I heard the name come up, but I definitely, you know, heard from Spoh a little bit about it, but
I think we have a great organization. Pat Spoh and those guys, they kind of handle all the
acquisitions, but I'm happy to have them. True or false, they should consult you. It's up to them, man. I'm happy to try to get guys down here for sure, man. I was excited about Odin's signing and B's for sure. True or false, Mickey Harrison was the worst dancer at my wedding. False. I think he's lying there. I think he just wants to save his own. Who was the
worst answer at the wedding? Name him. No, I can't name him. I can't name him, but I'll tell you what, I'm going to protect my owner for sure. LeBron, I don't know if Ron Rothstein was there, but if he wasn't, I'm guessing he was the worst answer. Oh, man, he was not there, but definitely would have been. True or false, when you guys do nick
nickname Jersey Day. Chalmers is going to fight you. He wants to be King Chalmers. King Chalmers. True. And finally, we'll get you out of here on this one, LeBron. True or false? And this is an easy one. It's just the easiest one of the interview. I'm going to play in Miami next year.
Oh, man. That ain't fair. That ain't fair, right? We'll get you out of here. We'll get you out of here. That was the one time you're going to be asked that. So that's it. That was your point. You know what? I said I've heard all the questions in the world. You guys had a first one. I appreciate that.
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