Local Hour: The Miami Dolphins "Show Me" Game
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Still tastes the same like back in the day. Right now, get two pieces of chicken starting at only $2.99 or ten pieces starting at only $10.99. Church's. Offer valid at participating locations. Greg, do you still not know when we're starting after all these years? Um, I'm getting there. Ha ha ha.

I call it progress. How are you frazzled? You were here as early as you've ever been before. We were having a pre-show meeting, and you were just sitting in that chair for like an hour. But he was locked in on something. You know what? I'm doing pre-I'm-doing-Miami-Herald work. Tying up loose ends? Yeah. This is a big thing. We do our podcast, and my dad, anytime we're like, Dad, you ready to go and record? I got to tie up some loose ends first. Never know what that means. Everybody's got loose ends. Yep. You know, you got to cross your T's and dot your I's. Yep. By the way, it would have been nice if your mother...

to tell me that there's apparently no school today. So I breeze down here. It usually takes me an hour and 20 minutes. I breeze down here in like 45 minutes. - You were here early. I'm bummed to hear that that upset you. - Did she tell you the weather?

I did. I asked her the weather. Right. Guys, I'm amazed by this. Earlene is his internet and his ways, and he cannot—did you just hear what happened? He blamed his wife for not knowing that there wasn't going to be traffic on his way to work. She doesn't drive this way. Well, she knew, I think, that there was no school today because she keeps track of all that, even though we haven't had students in school for—

12 years. But she neglected to tell me, look, she's not perfect. You know, she's a wonderful woman. You know, does she have shortcomings like this morning? Of course. Was Chris in high school at 25? No, but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. He might have still been trying to... Billy, if you think Chris isn't going to be the same overgrown toddler that his father is, and if you think Chris... I checked the weather. Yeah.

I check the weather, too. I open the back door and stick my head up. That's how you do it. I notice that you got short sleeves on. Yeah, good arm week. Is it a good arm week? It's a better arm day than I was having last week. Wow, they look great. Well, that's great to hear, because today is a huge day, not just for you and your improving arm health, but for our friend Stu Gotts. It's a massive day. Oh, my God. And I'm talking because...

I walked outside and it was clear as day. Yeah. It's a good whistling day. Oh, it is. The weather outside is perfect whistling weather. Yes, it is. And good smoking weather as well. Let me try a whistle out here. A little dry. Mouth's a little dry. I think we need to go outdoors. Well, I have a heater too, so that would be nice. Izzy taught me. Hold on.

You hear it? Not bad. Barely. From the throat. Lick your lips. From the bottom, he said. What did he say? Is he said from the bottom? Baby! I think that's A-O now. Oh. It's not A-O. Wait, there it is. Yeah.

All right. Holy shit. What a giant day. One of the biggest days in show history. I can't believe the celebration we're about to unleash upon America. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Imagine my surprise and delight to see that this day has arrived. Amazing. Stu Gantz is an author. Yeah. And Stu Gantz. A best-selling author. Before you. He is an author before me.

That was very aggressive the way you did that to me, Roy. It was a day to celebrate Stugatz and you immediately came after me. You come into the show three seconds before it starts. You come in and you point a finger at me. I'm trying to celebrate Stugatz on his big day and all you do is throw in my face that he's an author before I am. No, I'm angry about this, Dan. Like, you need...

to write a book. Legitimately need to write a book. That needs to be a goal of yours before your career ends is to get this book out here. But congratulations, Stugatz. Thank you, Roy. Okay, not about me. Not about me today. It's about Stugatz because we've arrived at the day. And Roy, I appreciate it. He's right.

Please help me build the company so I have time to write a book. You don't need to write a book, Dan. You're on the air four hours every day. What else do you have to say? Seriously. I mean, you've written enough forwards at this point. It could be a book. Right. If you need me to ghostwrite the book for you, Dan, just let me know. I'm dominating the book game right now. I prefer you out of it. I mean. Listen, Stugatz is about to crush this because I can't believe that the day that Stugatz finishes something, because we have arrived at the

publishing of Stugatz's personal record book that what will immediately happen at this point in his career that I didn't think could have more conquering and mystery and wonder in it as he climbed to the top of media, I think Stugatz can legitimately become a New York Times best-selling author because of the way this book is already selling, and it wasn't on sale until right now for real, where we launched this book into the sky and demand that America make Stugatz a best-seller, and

And I'm going to tell you, Chris, coming in here, seeing your father not know that there was no school and getting here too quick through traffic, he was not enjoying, as Stugatz talked about, some of the numbers coming in on his book. And he thought to himself, my books didn't do quite that well, and his hasn't gone on sale yet. For real. Not for real. Ha ha ha.

I saw you sitting for an hour in the jealousy. This is vintage, Dan. He's trying to pit the two authors of books against one another to deflect away from what Roy called them out on. I gotta tell you, Greg has been nothing but supportive, both to me, the book, and we should thank Dan Stanzik as well, because Dan Stanzik really wrote this book. He wrote it along with me and many, many others, and I thank...

All of them. We all did. We all wrote it for you. Dan, your forward was fantastic. Greg, your chapter was amazing. Greg and I are doing a book signing together. Yes, we are. You will not divide us, okay? We are two authors who are unified. We are going to do a book signing together in Miami in a couple of weeks. How about that? Uh-oh. I'm not...

crazy about the same biggie was Timeline. You better be careful. I'm super excited about that. We'll be a couple of authors just sitting around cutting it up. Yeah, baby. I couldn't help but notice when I tried to get the book on Audible that it said delayed. Yeah, that's the audio version of it.

Who's recording the audio version? Has it been recorded? I am. And what I decided, by the way, halfway through recording the audio book, now, I did the entire thing, but I just... Wait, wait, wait, hold on. You've recorded this. It's done. Yes. Okay. Yes. Because that was one of my chief concerns. And I told... Well, but wait, wait. Let me just, because I've got a little more information. Before you go into the full-on grift of this... Sure. I was just going to say, in the spirit of this show, I told the director of the audio book to save all the outtakes. Yeah.

And there are plenty. Stancing, big words. Before we get to selling the audiobook, which will be a different time of sales than what is being sold today, the big day when we're merely trying to get to Stugat's New York Times bestselling author.

Because the audiobook will be a whole different kind of Stugatz selling out. But it's not supposed to be. They're supposed to be out at the same time, if I understand books correctly. Okay, but over the last few weeks, Stugatz has been really grinding. He goes home and he has been doing this audiobook. But while he was doing it, I was telling him that...

I thought that it might be better if he had Cody read his own version, and then I believe Stugatz had the idea it would be fun to do show within the audiobook, which is just going to give more work for you guys. Just so that you know this ends in more work for you guys. Really, I wasn't satisfied with what it was I was doing, and so I said there's a better way to dress this thing up. And so whether it's, you know, I have top fives in there, breaking those up with a sounder, going to Chris, but you never actually hear from Chris, and...

just things I think would make the audience enjoy it a bit more than just me reading into a microphone. You know, audiobooks is pretty much just dudes reading. Yeah, but I want to change that. I love his train of thought, though. I need to change this up. I mean, I want it to be better. I'm going to do a top five in the book.

But you had everyone write the book for you. Why don't you just have the people read what they wrote? And then you don't have to read anything. I've asked enough of those people. They have done enough for me. I mean, seriously. And the top fives, I put it. The way we did the book is Stan's sent me the book, and I sent back a different book. That's what we did.

because I needed the audience to feel like I actually contributed something to the book. And so we tried to put it more into, you know, my personality. The whole thing is supposed to be your personality. It's your book. He is crushing Dion Waiters in one chapter, and I decided to do top five athletes that could note something you would find in a restaurant. I put that in. The rare book. That was my edit. Did you read any of this book? Bestseller. Yeah.

Yeah, I had to for the audio. I'd love to hear from Stanzik on this experience. Let's talk to him. Let's interview Stanzik. That's not how audio books are supposed to be. I was forced to. It's a good book. You're supposed to have faith that the audio book is the book. So Greg Cody worked very hard on his two books. Three books.

But I worked hard on two of them, you're right. One of them, actually. The two that have sold very well because they were pushed through this show back in my day, which was released just recently. Yep, new book. And Pride of a Lion, which you did with Ron McGill. Those sold. Our audience is crazy, man. It really is. And I couldn't be, we couldn't be more grateful for it. But they sell in the publishing industry thousands and thousands of books.

And yours did very well. But what Stugatz is doing right now is off the charts. And he hasn't really gotten started yet, and he's farmed out all the work. He did it in the laziest way possible. I will tell you that I was insulted about 17 times in how it is that I had to write that forward. And I don't think Stugatz ever read it. He just said it was long. It was hard to get through. You're a long forward writer. Yeah, yeah.

You really are. Thank you. Listen, I appreciate it, man, because I needed it, and you did it, and you did it well. I have not read it, but it was hard to get through. I got back edits from Stugatz. Billy, you'll love this. This is what I got back from Stanzig. More of a toast than a roast. After he had told me, just crush me. So I'd already written something that was just crushing him. You crushed me.

And then he doesn't read it and I have to rewrite it. Because Stanzig... I got instructions from Stugatz. I did some edits as well. How mean was it? Well, I thought it was too mean. I was reaching out to Stugatz who hadn't read it and I'm saying, I think this is too mean. I don't think this is what should be at the front of this book. I think this needs to be softer because...

But you told me to crush you. It's a great way to receive a forward from a guy you've been doing a show with that you consider to be a friend for the last 20 years. He hands me something and he says, make sure you read this. More importantly, make sure Abby's okay with this. I'm like, oh boy. Oh, Dan, what did you do? Well, I still got a sign.

me to do after he asked Will Bond to do it or after he asked me to get Will Bond to do it. Yeah, what happened with that? He ghosted me. Now he's ghosted both of us. You cost me that friendship too. I'm sorry. No, you're not. No, I am.

I don't want to cost Dan any friendships. If you lose a friendship with Wilbon, did you lose a friendship? Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at Levitard Show. If you lose a friendship with Wilbon, did you really lose a friendship at Levitard Show? There is a ton to talk about today, and we will continue the launching of the book over the course of the day. But I am ready to announce something, Billy, that I think...

everyone here will be moved by and it won't be hard to get Greg Cody to rally at my side and run into the breach. The Miami Dolphins

are about to play a show-me-something game. Wow! And if they win that game on the road, I will allow everyone here to hope. I will stop forbidding hope, and I will simply allow everyone here to hope freely. And without encumbrance, you can hope that the Miami Dolphins, a 500 team, will do something in the playoffs. What if we're already hoping, though?

No, you're not allowed to hope yet. Until you give us permission. I'll show you when at Green Bay because you've got to show me something. Show you something. You've got to show me. This is a show me something game. I like it. Yes. You haven't beaten anybody. Yeah. This is better. I'm loving this. Whatever you're giving off right now about the Dolphins, I love it. Much better. Give me more of it. No, man. Hope is a dangerous thing, man. I don't think I can do it.

I can't hope. In general or just Dolphins related? Just Dolphins related. No, no. It's too dangerous. Can't do it. Billy? Yes, Dan? I learned yesterday you need to be very careful when you're talking about the Dolphins. Dolphins fans are very mad at me.

very mad at me for my analysis. It wasn't you who said it. It was that other voice that said it. It wasn't you who said it. Did you hear what the other voice said? The other voice said yesterday, I don't want to say it, but in these games, this is where Tua gets hurt late at night when everyone's watching. It wasn't Billy. It was another voice. And people got mad at him because he was whispering, it's your subconscious talking, immoral football fan. I'm among you. I live among you.

I'm watching a guy who is more at risk for a concussion than anyone in sports that we'll talk about. The center of all the dolphin hope is a brain that will be talked about if it gets hurt again more than any other brain in the sports world existing. Which is crazy, because Denzel Ward has this same exact issue and no one knows about it because he's got two as a meat shield. Chris Olave, too. Yeah, I mean, there's players in the NFL who've had five, six...

but because they don't play a starting quarterback, we don't know about it. Tua played a completely healthy season just a year ago. It's fatalist thinking to go, well, but what if he gets hurt? Chiefs fan could say that about Patrick Mahomes. Imagine if Mahomes...

Breaks a leg? What's with the Chiefs then? You know, you could say that about the whole league. That's a good point. But if Mahomes tore his ACL twice, you'd be more concerned about his knee moving forward. Tua has had several concussions, so therefore you are more concerned about him. You know, I'm not concerned about Aaron Rodgers' injury.

re-injuring his Achilles, I'm concerned about Aaron Rodgers being 41 years old and not very good anymore. Billy, the storm you found yourself in yesterday was interesting to me because all that other voice was saying, and it was near you, so I can understand how people would think it was you. All he was saying is the greatest fear of Dolphin fans that's only here because of the things that have happened in this game situation where you dare to hope, oh, their offense looks great. Oh, I forgot their quarterback's brain is...

in narrative, mushier than the rest. Like, we're all doctors on CTE, and he's more fragile than anyone in the sport. And we forget if they put together a three-game win streak. We forget entirely. Oh, the offense looks good. To clarify, Greg, I didn't say any of that stuff. What I said was this might be to his...

biggest game. It sounds crazy, but it might be his biggest game because it's an opportunity for him to dispel a lot of the bad narratives around him. Can't do it in the cold, can't do it against a good team, can't do it in prime time. All of those things. And then somewhere, you know, off to the side, someone said, well, this is, you know, historically when these concussions seem to happen. But like it

Again, I didn't say it, and I would caution you guys to go down that path as well. And I would also say... Why do you say you didn't say it? You said it, but you said it in a different voice. It wasn't him. It was very clearly you saying it. It was somebody else. It was somebody else. It wasn't him. I'm not certain. So the point is this. I would caution you guys not to go down that path because it is not a path well received. The path you said. Even... Not him. Why do you do the...

You're insinuating that we're lying about you. There was selective editing, I would say. We were live. There was context. Yeah, no, but the problem is... You were right next to him. No, a lot of people... I saw the words come out of his mouth, but he just muffled them. No, no. Now he's going to say fallacies. No, falsehoods. Give him a chance. This is a situation.

A lot of people received that via social media. And I will say there was some selective clipping. And I understand the game. I understand how this works. We put out the spiciest things out there, lacking full context and full reasoning, where I specifically said, I'm rooting for Tua to succeed. I want him to succeed. However, some people may be worried about the situation. All of that.

absent. And this takes me down a sad path that I remember one Super Bowl week two years ago when we were in Arizona where a similar thing happened with this very same Tua in an interview where a question that I asked him

you know, ingest was replayed lacking certain context where the video that went out that upset the Dolphins fans everywhere was when I asked to ingest, ingest in response to another question that was asked previously when I asked to a quote

should mike mcdaniel be charged with your murder and they did not like that question at all and they said this is such bad form and blah blah but had you had you gotten the full context you would have known that that was me trying to lighten the mood because we went to concussion town with dan and the rest of right before that so i was trying to kind of lighten the mood and move away from that now you're often a victim of things being out of context finally you get it yeah it happens and if i

It oddly happens with starting quarterbacks inside the AFC East. No, no, no. And by the way, lacking also in the analysis is it's a big game against a team, which Dolphins fans, forgive me on the front end for saying this, a team that's arguably better than you. Forgive me.

Arguably better than you. And then in those instances, Tua sometimes tries to make things happen that aren't necessarily there. And that's when he gets in trouble. He tries to extend a play. He tries to dive headfirst for first down. Like that's when things get in trouble. Forgive me. I just someone mentioned it and I thought, you know what? Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe that's something that's a fear. It's something to be worried about, a concern. But again, this is a great opportunity to dispel a lot of this. That's all that was said yesterday. I think I've heard some murmurs worried that playing this opponent on holiday usually also means Tua gets a concussion. I haven't heard such things. Hmm.

I find everything around him to be wildly interesting because he's the epicenter, Stugatz, of how that position matters, how that sport matters, our conundrum at the crossroads between, wow, we really like violence. Not that much.

And should he retire? And I'm sitting next to a longtime columnist I accused of being a homer the last time he was in here. And we enraged him by having his wife come on and say, yeah, he roots for the Dolphins. He has said the Dolphins were going to win the Super Bowl last year. Tua is at the center of all of that hope. He has been very protective of Tua. And even he says one more concussion on Thanksgiving night while America's watching and he needs to retire.

No, I actually didn't say it quite that way. What I said was I think the next bad concussion, and there are different types of concussions, I think the next bad concussion will see him retire. I didn't say that he would need to. I always think it should be the player's decision.

I never think it should be the media's decision or the fans' decision or the team's decision. You said it would be a howling outcry for that career to end if we have to watch. If America has to recoil at the horror of seeing on television, wait, this is one of the guys I like. I'm going to keep seeing him spasm.

Nah, man, like this, I'm not okay with how all of this feels. But this talk is ridiculous because I regret doing it the first time around with Tua where I actually said he should retire. I don't want to watch him play football. And he quickly corrected all of us by saying, hey, this is up to me. It's not up to you. This is up to me. It's up to me and my family.

And it is. Tua loves playing football. Tua wants to be out on the football field. Tua realizes, I'm guessing, there is a risk to him playing such a violent sport. But you know what? He is willing to risk all of that because he wants to be there with his teammates and play the sport that he loves. And I'm good with that. Okay, you're good with it now, those two guys. I understand you're good with it now. Damn it, he's the one who's going to get hurt, not us. I know, but you're good with it now. But when he says, till the death of me, and then you're faced with what happens.

But I'm not good with people making choices or thinking they have the power or authority to make choices on his behalf. I mean, he's a grown man.

DeMar Hamlin is still playing for the Buffalo Bills. Tua is still playing, and as well as he ever has. Tua, in the last three or four games, has not just been pretty good, he's been great. He's been, like, best in the NFL great the last couple of games.

And it's because he's much better this year in his progressions. When he threw that touchdown pass to Jonu Smith, Jonu Smith was his fourth option. Last year, he never gets to his fourth option. He's forcing it to Tyreek Hill or something. Two is a smarter quarterback this year. I think he's safer other than that one play where he went after an interceptor. If I may, though, Greg. Yeah.

to the point that the voice near Billy was making. In situations where Tua is being asked to do a little more in a big game against Buffalo, against Cincinnati, when everybody's watching. I just started the show with, this is a show-me game. The last couple of games Tua has played, no one's seen them. Even though everybody watches the NFL, everyone watches this one. What Tua has done, I don't mean that as dismissively as it sounds, but...

But Tua has played two games when all the other games were going on and the Dolphins game wasn't one of the interesting ones. So what he's done the last two weeks, if I'm saying this is a show-me game, it's against Jordan Love, the other guy who got money. The voice underneath Billy's breath was telling you these are the spots where he gets hurt trying to do a little too...

A little too much in the open field. And what I would suggest is that when you're 2-6, every game is a show-me game. He's played three show-me games in a row to get his team back into playoff hope, and he's won three in a row. And there should not be a presumption of...

the next concussion is right around the corner. You can have that fear and concern, but you can't assume it. And Tua doesn't and shouldn't. And if he plays the rest of the season healthy, as good as he has the past couple of weeks, they're going to make Dolphin history by going from two and six to the playoffs. This took a negative turn again. That's not what we were supposed to be talking about. I thought it was book day. Yeah, book day and it's a show-me day. Excited. Thanksgiving day. Oh, my God.

God, guys. And hope. 8 o'clock Thanksgiving, Lambeau Field. Yeah. Dolphins. Wow. Packers. Exciting. This one's great. Yep. It's a tell-me game. A win. People also got mad that I said that it's potentially the biggest game of his career, and then they started throwing out the biggest game of his career was the one that he lost against the Chiefs last year. The biggest game of his career is the one against the Bills.

biggest game of his career as a national champion. Those are all fair. Yeah, no, I get it, but moving forward, this is the biggest game of his career this week. Like, what's the big deal? Billy, when you were talking earlier, I didn't realize that you did deserve more context. When you asked him to lighten the mood, should the Dolphins be charged with murder?

Yeah, that's the proper way to respond to that. That was an attempt to lighten the mood. It was a follow-up, Dan. After an interview that I derailed with terrible questions and you were trying to save, you fell on the sword on behalf of the show and Dolphin fans were furious with you even though all you were trying to do was in that one instance legitimately help. Yeah, I didn't know that they were that mad until I was sitting at the airport like four hours later. I was like, let me check my phone and see what's going on. I was like, ooh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, Tua canceled all his interviews for us the day after that one? Oh, no. I was like, guys, you don't understand. He signed my jersey after. He was okay. It was fine. He wasn't that mad. He canceled everything. I was like, ugh. He canceled the entire tour. If you recall, though, we're fine because Tua does not remember that interview. Doesn't remember. That's the fun CTE. That's the fun CTE.

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The crown is yours.

Don Libetard. Hey, everybody.

Not here. Or can't come to the phone. Leave a message. See, doesn't that sound better, Chris? Everybody. No, no, it does not. It does not sound better. It sounds... He is absolutely slurring his, hey, everybody. By the way, not surprising at all that he would answer the phone and think just everybody is there. It's only one person calling you. It's everybody. Stugatz. He's performing, baby. Anytime you put a motor around him, hey, everybody. Hey.

He was 19 Miller Lights Deep when he recorded that. It's everyone calling him at the same time. He's doing a little show. A little show. Everything is good content. The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody. Hey, everybody. This is the Don Levitas Show with the Stugats.

Dan Stanzik is right there. I see him. How do I describe him, Stugatz, to the audience? He's your longtime producer, and he's the actual author of this book, correct? Yes, he is the author of the book. He used to produce Stupidity back when we were at ESPN. He is still at ESPN. He is a huge fan of the show. He produces Mina Kimes' podcast right now, Adam Schefter's podcast as well. He's shaking his head no. Well, maybe I got Mina Kimes wrong, but it doesn't matter.

Our audience, because I am telling you right now, Dan, this book, I never wanted to write a book. Stanzik loves our show so much, loves the characters so much, and he has a desire to write books. Stanzik wrote this book. And audience, if you are enjoying today and enjoying the books and enjoying putting us on the New York Times bestseller list, and we're number one in a million different categories right now on Amazon, you have one person to thank, and that person is Dan Stanzik.

It's more than that, though, because it was the hundreds of people that he recruited. Well, I did that. That was my contribution. All right. Anyway. No, Stanzik is shaking his head no. All right, Stanzik, what is true and what is not true here about what he has already presented? I mean...

What is he presented, Dan? I don't know. First time in a long time. Great to be with you. Yeah. What he just said. Yes. You like that, right? Yeah. Original crew. Big fan of the show. I told you, Dana, to sell the book that we will make a bestseller. The audience will make the bestseller. But tell us about the experience of doing this with Stugaccio. You were shaking your head. No. As if facts that weren't facts were coming out of his mouth.

Well, he didn't reach out to the 20 people that contributed to the book. I think he gave me contact information for about one or two of them, but I did all of the reaching out to all of them. Greg included. Greg has the emails to prove it. Yeah, I do. I can verify. Who made the initial ask, Danzig? Let's just start there. Who made the initial ask? Of...

Randy Scott and Field Dates, those men. Yeah, that was you. Those two were definitely you. Yeah, because I knew they were going to say yes. And you said, hey, I'll just reach out to them and take some of the load off you. I appreciate that. I don't think Stugatz wants everyone to see just entirely how lazy he was during this. But I'm going to dig over. You probably shouldn't have me on then.

Reach out to Field Yates on Sunday mornings. Well, Stanzik, Stugatz came on here and he really did every day was talking about how tired he was from writing this book. And as far as I could tell, it's just because he had to do three meetings.

There was a lot of meetings. I don't want to defend Stugatz too much, but he does deserve defense there. There were plenty of meetings. He was in a lot of those meetings, but he also had me in those meetings to provide the context that the publisher needed in those meetings. There was plenty of meetings. The work Stugatz has done has really been in the last few weeks.

which is probably why some of the things are delayed. I would also like to say Stu Gatz has finally now read the book as he's been doing the audiobooks. I was forced to. He has more information than he normally would be. You did a great job. How is it? It's great. I've got to tell you, it's fantastic.

I changed some things around. I sent it back to Stanzik, but he really did a good job. I mean, you really captured me. You did a tremendous, some big words that I would have left out, but you really did a great job of capturing the essence of Stugatz. Thank you, buddy. You did. You did sprinkle in some things after all the editing process was done. We needed to be done with the entire project. Stugatz did sprinkle in a couple of lines.

But I did notice that those sprinkles were in like the first three or four chapters, which led me to believe that he didn't get to, you know, five through 35. So I noticed that when I was reading the book, it was very inconsistent. The first four or five chapters were a lot better than the last, let's say, 16 or 17. You know, how many chapters? We started strong. Yeah, we did. Yeah. I'm proud of you, man. You wrote a good book. Seriously.

Thank you. It's holiday time bonus, maybe? What are we thinking here? You're getting bestseller? Is there a bestseller bonus? What do we get? I mean, I don't know. That will depend on sales of the book, right? I mean, it's all guaranteed money. I'm joking. Whatever I agree to with Stanzik is what he gets. Maybe a little bonus. We'll see. How does it feel being an author, Stanzik?

It's actually weird. I plan on going to a bookstore later today and hopefully the book is there. I think that will be a pretty surreal moment. Not that people go to bookstores anymore, but anyone listening should buy the book. Yeah.

It's great, honestly. It hasn't felt real. It still doesn't feel real, but the books came. They're in my house. So it is real. I'm sure the audience feels the same way. Stu Gatz has said a million things. He's had a million of ideas, and he hasn't executed many of them. This is one that was executed largely for him, but he did contribute. So I think this is a happy day for the audience.

It's a Stugatz idea that has come to fruition for the audience. Yes. Something I was never going to do, honestly. I would never – anyone who knows me knows I am incapable for a number of different reasons for sitting down that long to write a book. It is never something I've had a desire to do until Mike Schur introduced me to this guy Richard Abadi. Okay.

OK, who is one of the great literary agents in America. And then he called me two hours later with an offer from Random House. And oh, my God, did my tone change in terms of wanting to write a book? I got an offer. Yeah, that would do it. Yeah. If we were to rank the reasons why this book happened or why you wanted to do the book.

I think money is probably number one. I would say the audience is number one. Money is number two. Stanzik is number three, and money is number four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. How about that? I mean, is that fair? Stanzik, you know I wanted to do this for the audience, and it was never going to get done unless you did it. Absolutely. I don't think you're lying at all there. I just think money is probably number one. The audience is probably number two, but

Yeah, there is some good nature there. Yeah, money one, audience two. You're right. Well, the fact that you all attracted Random House, a major elite...

NFL sports level publishing house is amazing and that's why when you go into that bookstore Stanzik chances are pretty good you might actually see the book a cautionary tale though when Pride of a Lion first came out I was all thrilled the day it came out I run to my local Barnes and Noble I'm envisioning a big display not just the book somewhere on a shelf I'm envisioning a big display nowhere to be found they never carried the book

But I think it's going to be different with a Random House product. This is where the jealousy comes in. Mango Publishing's fine. You guys thought I was making this up. Everybody here thought I was being negative and I was pitting people against each other. Okay. I'm just saying, you know, Random House is the NFL. I have a beautiful local publisher called Mango Publishing. I love Mango. Wonderful, wonderful local publisher. I love Mango, but it's not the NFL.

Random House is. And even Mango would agree with that. So that's the only reason that Stugatz's book is more successful than yours. I was given a note, and I'm wondering if you guys can confirm or deny this. I was told that you were asked specifically to stop saying this is going to be a New York Times bestseller. Is this so?

I don't recall at any point someone asking me to stop saying that. I mean, listen, whether it goes on the New York Times bestseller list or not, I don't care because the thing is, I'm a bestselling author today. And in my personal record book. What metrics? Well, in Stugatz's personal record book part two, this book has already made the New York Times bestseller. It's already there. So it doesn't matter. Yeah.

What were you guys pointing at? Who was being told not to say New York Times bestseller anymore? The audience, it is required of the audience. Again, Chris, not helpful to continue to point at a screen. Who's telling you that we shouldn't be saying New York Times bestseller? Stu Gatz denied it. I wanted to hear Stanzik's opinion on that.

I'll just say that there is some hesitancy within the publisher, our publisher, about mentioning it. But I have told them Stugatz has been saying it since February. Like, this isn't going to change. He's been saying Stugatz, beep, New York Times bestseller list, beep, Collision Course. Like, it's a thing. So we sent the book to influencers, 30 or so people.

Dan, you were among those who got the book with a note from Stu Gatz and I that, of course, I wrote. And in the note, I had that line in there. And someone with our publisher asked to take it out because the New York Times gets a little finicky when you mention the New York Times bestseller list in trying to get on there. So the publisher did at one point suggest that we not do that. And I told them we're doing it anyway.

I would like to urge the audience in this regard, because I don't believe in the history of all his grifts that we will have had a career achievement better than the world's laziest author.

Does the least authoring that can possibly be done and rockets to the top of the New York Times bestseller list? Our show, as one that is proud of the written word, the dying written word, can't do better than that as a joke. Cannot. Dan, you should take solace in the fact that you wrote more words than Stugatz in this book, and your name is also on the cover. Right.

In some ways, this is a tribute to you and your long career of writing. Thank you, Dan. No money, by the way. The first writing of this kind I've done since back in my day. Another best-selling book with a smaller publishing house. Not quite as best-selling as Stugatz's best-selling. But now you're in bookstores, Dan-o. How about that? You, Dan Levitard, you're in bookstores. Your name's on the cover. On the cape of Stugatz. I did it for

you again yes I'm very high on that list of money money audience God we all laughed at that one I did it for the audience brother Teresa I did it for you man you got the author he's got an author title and Stanzig when you expect what from what goes forward on this book because I don't think I'm overstating it when I say he made this very hard for you right you had to do what percentage of the work

If we're breaking it down that way, I'd say probably in the 90% range. Of the front end stuff, right? On the back end, I really carried it home, right? Like, you're not coming to the book signing with me and Greg Cody next week. You're not going to do that. You didn't have to sign 5,000 inserts, did you? I mean, you're not doing a media tour, are you? You can do it with me. We're talking about the work of the

Listen, Stantic, I'm not going to let Dan do this today. This feels like you guys are falling apart. I'm not going to let him fracture our relationship. We have more to write. I'm not going to let Dan do it today. You have more to write? You're resenting signing your own name to a book you didn't write? Are you charging for the book signing with Greg? No, we're not charging. I mean, Greg and I are doing a book signing together. It's included. By the book, they get Sugatsu to sign it with his beautiful signature. Oh, I mean...

How did the paper... I think you're talking about the audiobook. I don't know how the book world works, man. This is my first time around. That's up to Random House how they do it. I don't want to ask an indelicate question. Swinging books, man. Stanzic did 90% of the work and 90% of the money or how did that work? How did that break down? Well, it broke down in a way that I think is favorable for Stanzic. I mean, more favorable for me, but that's the way it should work. They are my takes.

I had the throwaway line of my personal record book. I didn't actually have one when I said that line because who would have that? Who would actually sit there and keep their own personal record book? But Stanzik was writing it the entire time. The first time he mentioned it to me was when he was producing Stupotity. He said, I will write your book. And I never thought about it much until he called me maybe a year later or so and said, I've written the book.

And I said, send it over. And he did. And I said, this is really good. And that was that. He wrote a book. It was good. And our audience loves it. So thank you.

Picturing Stephen King doing this same process. Well, I just want to ask you guys. Oh, it's a hard, grueling process. I would not recommend it to anyone. Writing books is difficult. It is really tough, especially the way I did it. I mean, when you pour your heart and soul into something for month after month after month, and then it's the audio book, and then it's a PR tour, and then it's another meeting, and then there's a book portal login. I mean, it's too much. What?

Where is your PR tour? I haven't seen you anywhere. I saw you on Todd McShay. This is his PR tour. I did The Art of Fatherhood. I did McShay. I'm going on some other shows next week because it's Thanksgiving week this week. Not a good day to go on shows. Your tour is two socks. I got Adam Schein today. I think I'm doing Brendan Tobin later this week. I mean, ow.

I'm making all the stops. I made it this week. Yeah, but I don't have to. I can sit back and cruise now because this book is already sold well enough. In fact, I'm thinking about canceling the entire media tour. I just need this audience. It's dancing. What does that mean well enough? I'm assuming you had to reach a certain amount to get paid in full or something? No, we get paid no matter what.

Stan Zick, I just want you to know, okay, as a longtime fan of this show and as we celebrate 20 years with what I believe is just... Please, please make this a bestseller because we can't do better than mocking everything than this. But Stan Zick, I can't believe that I'm looking in the shipping container who have been with Stugatz for almost 20 years, everybody, and...

They've reached a point where they are recoiling from the shame of whatever it is that this business arrangement was. I'm looking in the room and all of them are afraid to ask you a question because the answer might be a little too real. Like, I want the help of the do this with you and they won't do it with me. Hmm.

Some of them may know better, Dan. Yeah. Yeah. You're recoiling. I feel shame in the other room. I can't believe you guys are still capable of shame when this is the creature we're in love with.

Well, I just would have thought with the finished product, now's when Sugat shows up. You know, the bright lights are on. He's there to take all the credit, which seemingly is within his character or lack thereof. But he's too lazy to even take an unjust amount of credit for this because he doesn't want to do the PR tour. Well, no, I don't want to do that to Stanzik. It's our day. Oh, really? Yes. I don't want to do that to Dan Stanzik. Listen, Dan, this is a dream. Yo, chicken thigh. I deserve that.

I deserve it. I deserve it. I hate those chickens, man. I hate them. I hate them. I hate the chickens. Thanks for joining us, Danzig. It's that time of the year. Let's dial up Matt Sereta, general manager at Van Chevrolet. Thanks for calling Van Chevrolet, home of the Green Friday sales event. You mean Black Friday, right? Black Friday sales events are a bunch of nothing burgers. Everybody has them. We want everyone saving a ton of green.

Yeah, but it's for one day only, right? Together, let's drive to Van Chevrolet on Frank Lloyd Wright in Scottsdale.