Local Hour: The Fun Police
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Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show.

Mike Ryan, I need some executive guidance from you because I just tried right now moments ago to do the show with an assembled committee of judgment in

in Chris Cody and Amin Elhassan. And I was asking them both a question on if I should do something during the Shadow show. I was asking for their editorial judgment. That's generally editorial judgment I've gone to you on. But I looked at you in the back row and you're wearing a jaguar head. And so it didn't project safety to me. And I stayed with Chris Cody and Amin. And this is the question I asked them. And I'd like a ruling also from Tony and from Jeremy on this. Good balance.

Well, since we're here, right, because I just I tried to decide something seconds ago and I could have been the deciding vote. Chris went one way. Amin went another. And I was the deciding vote. And I didn't want to do it because I wasn't sure. That's why I asked them. I generally don't ask them for the opinion on these things. I wanted to just hit shadow show. And then after last night, right, the fun we had, that great football game.

I wanted to start Shadow Show and then just play RFK talking about Trump five straight times and just play it again and again.

And I asked Chris Cody and he immediately slumped down the middle. Chris just fell apart. He did not want to do it at all. I saw it on his face. I went to a mean and it wasn't with a lot of conviction, but he's just a yes man on this one. He's like, yeah, why not? Yes. And yeah, why not? So it wasn't a lot of conviction, but the mood of today when James is doing snow angels on Thursday night football, the mood shouldn't be no fluoride in the water guy, brain worm guy, you know,

doing Trump sound in his distinctive voice without any explanation. But if you could find any of that stuff funny, RFK doing that in that voice that you immediately recognize would have been funny with no explanation, but a little too political. It's a little too political. I love polio. This I'm here for. You say I love polio? I love polio. All right.

I don't think we should do that. Okay. No, I think this is a great time for us to stick to the sports now. Yeah? Yeah. Just check out on the whole politics thing altogether. Look, hey, we gave it a run. Mm-hmm.

We lost. No, we can't be bad. We tried hard. We tried so hard. We made sacrifices. Incredibly hard. Tangible sacrifices. We lost. Okay, capitulate. Remember the porn thing? That smoked. Dan, you ever remember back in the day when you played pick up, you go to the park, you go to the gym, and it's like 100 people waiting for next. And you play that game, and you know, like, if I lose, it's going to be a long time before I get back on that court. Guess what, man? I got back.

tony the way tony looked into my eyes and just searing said you got smoked we did try we did you just got accepted and we got trampled by america

Look at Jeremy. You can't see him because it's the shadow show. But he's dead in the eyes. He doesn't think anything. And he's funny. And Jeremy, I'm with you. I ain't going to quit. I'm not going to give up on the fight and just talk comedy. Get ready to learn Nelk Boys. Check, please. Play the RFK sound.

Quote, the way that you build a truly vicious nationalist movement is to wed a relatively small core of belligerent idiots to a much larger group of opportunists and spineless fellow travelers whose primary function is to turn a blind eye to things. We may not have that many outright Nazis in America, but we have plenty of cowards and bootlickers. And once those fleshy dominoes start tumbling into the Trump camp.

Fleshy Dominoes. Holy crap. He missed the best part of that, by the way. What he says after that is better than the entire thing. He says, speaking of Fleshy Dominoes, Chris Christie. I mean, isn't he a Fleshy Domino? We're all Fleshy Dominoes, Dan. If you go from that voice to then taking the power that he gave you. Hey, hello, Andrew Hawkins. Hey. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast. ♪

Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I said to Mike Ryan, how do we gloriously celebrate a Brown season that rises to three and eight because the second worst of their sexual offenders maybe kind of is more likable than the first when he plays football and when he talks about football, allegedly.

Whatever it is that happened with Jameis, the details of which makes him likable guy today. The closest thing to Mike Tyson we have.

As far as redemption in terms of someone who has some sordid allegations in his past, but now, ah, he's fine. I was saying likable, not the allegations, but his personality. How do we celebrate these three and eight Browns and they bring me a former Brown immediately? A legend. Andrew Hawkins, a legend. They bring me immediately. They fly him in.

Took about two hours to get here from Pembroke Pines. Miami's overcrowded and there's too much traffic. Dude, we got to get a Meadowlark helicopter.

That's a great idea. That's a great request for day one. Day one. I mean, that lead-in, that Browns lead-in, a helicopter, that's the least somebody could do. Welcome, man. Sexual assault, am I right? Jeez. Goodness. Welcome, Hawk. It's been a while. Jameis did and does rap in Charming. I dare to say it. I...

Is he fun CTE? He is fun CTE. He's got the fun kind. You know how, like, with alcohol, there's some guys, there's, like, some fun alcoholics and some bad, mean, sad alcoholics? Yes. Same thing with the CTE. We're learning. It's on a spectrum. He's got the fun type. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. Should we not go there? Let's play some sound from last night. It's too late. We're already there. We started with sexual assault. Well, we started with a RFK. I'm not sure that impersonation is allowed. Yes, and? But I allow it.

I want to ride, because I don't know what the history of whatever it is makes his voice sound that way. Do you want to go there, or do you not want to go there? No, I don't think I want to do that. I think I'd rather plead ignorance and keep doing it. I love that Tony has a theory ready. No, it's not a theory. It's the truth. Oh, you know why? Yeah, but I'm not going to go there. Well, I kind of feel like we've got to go there now. No, we don't have to go there. No, maybe later. Maybe in the postgame. We'll do it with Andrew Hawkins. Let's...

play just an assortment of Jameis Winston sound. I hope it starts with some of the sound from last night, because every time he gets in front of microphones, it's fun CTE time.

The beautiful thing about today is it doesn't matter what happened in the past. And no one really cares about the future. Reality are we are where we are. But where are we trying to go? What are we willing to do to be the best that we can be today? I'm with you. I got your back. So be thinking as you don't think.

Be the best that you can be today, together. All right, man? Let's go. What's something about you that a lot of people or that no one knows about Jameis Winston? Well, I like cartoons. That's something. I'm a big Looney Tunes fan. I have two beautiful

beautiful young boys. And we don't watch too much lawyer tunes because I get a little silly when I'm watching lawyer tunes. I don't want to see me in that space. But that's one thing. What does a silly Jameis Winston off the Looney Tunes look like? I mean, what's up, doc? You know, I'm just vibing, you know. I got a little Disney in me too, like Google, you know what I'm saying? Like I got a little, you know.

The horse is prepared for battle, but victory comes from the Lord. So I'm depending on the Lord. Is that the message to the team? Day by day, one player at a time. That's the message. Weather conditions tonight. We're expecting winds up to 15 miles per hour.

hour in a wintry mix, how will that impact your ability to throw the ball? I'm so happy and grateful that the Lord has blessed me to play in some snow, to be in true football weather in Cleveland, Ohio at Huntington Bank Field today.

to give him the glory. It's a beautiful day. You got certain things that we're all like, our body is so symmetrical, right? You got your wrists, you know, what are your wrists on the bottom half? You got your shoulders up top, what are your shoulders? Your hips, you know what I'm saying? You got your elbows, what are your elbows? Your knees, right? Like, so...

It's symmetrical and you just got to work different parts. That fourth quarter, it really was like, it was a whole paradigm shift. Like we were playing so well offensively and then bang, bang, back-to-back drives would turn over and I'm just like, oh my gosh, like this is really an NFL film moment. The snow starts pouring down. It starts getting like, I felt like my feet started getting heavy because I'm squishing through the snow. And man, it was so good and it was so great to end up getting that win.

I don't know if there's anything more endearing or contagious in the gulf between players and customers than somebody who is clearly enjoying what they're doing. Just joy, childlike joy, plays football, just throws it all over the place. 30 touchdowns, 30 interceptions, you get rid of them, you win the Super Bowl. That's how it happened in Tampa. I'll lead the league in passing and then Tom Brady will replace me and they'll immediately win the Super Bowl. And

And then he goes and does snow angels after the game and it's so infectious that the entire studio goes with him because he's like this because What do you mean? Of course? He's a leader. That's what leaders do. They lead the way everyone you you you you you get in you subscribe He did a but

Face down snow angel is ludicrous, though. Like, what makes him insane is that he did the snow angel face down. He's from the South, Hawk. Like, he doesn't know about snow. Like, teeth in mud snow angel. That's wild. That's a good point, though. He had no idea how to do a snow. That was his first ever snow angel. Oh.

That is great analysis. Because I'm from South Florida. You didn't think about it. Winter just blew in. It's 63 degrees out there, and I went through all the winter clothing this morning. If I were a child and had fun CTE, I, too, would go face first into snow angels because I don't know how to do them either. How am I supposed to know? So many things. I never know what's off limits on this show. I don't know.

You can't cross certain lines, but also fun CTE. We're workshopping it, huh? We might not be able to do it. You tell us. I'm just saying. It's hilarious, but it's one of those things, like for me as a football player, it's hilarious with other football players. So I'm like looking for the other guy to be like, yeah, that is. Wait a minute. Hold on now. I feel like they're laughing at me. But face down snow angels is like.

It's someone who grew up in western Pennsylvania, played in Canada, college in Ohio. You can dive forward, but you immediately flip for the Angel. You don't face down Snow Angel. I got to be honest, tremendous analysis I haven't heard anywhere else that only we in Miami need because everyone else seems to think that this is all obvious. I did not initially notice that he had done it that way. Look at Andrew Whitworth. Watch his technique. Dive forward.

Flip. It was not his first time. Can we do something, please? Can we play that clip in the other room and have Hawkins do telestrating on it to explain to us the correct ways to do this as a football analyst? Because everybody out there is a child right now, and Jameis Winston led them through the playground of childhood. Dude, I mean, Jameis is like, I have a theory that with Jameis Winston, and you talked about the season where he threw 30 interceptions, 30 touchdowns, 5,000 yards. Poor the LASIK, though.

Before the LASIK. That is a very important piece of that information. It's like 20 bad passes prevented him from making $45 million a year, right? But beyond that, once we're seeing his personality, it's kind of like a sitcom, right? When someone says, yo, you got to see this show, Arrested Development. That's my favorite show ever. Love that show. If you just jump in on Arrested Development...

One one episode it's going to seem like the dumbest show in the world, but once you learn the characters once you learn Buster once you learn job once you learn Tobias, then you're like oh I get it now It's like it's like the Dan lebitard show you got to get the show you

People now are getting the Jameis Winston show and early in his career, he was never like a terrible quarterback. But I would imagine behind the scenes, it felt so weird that they were like, there's no way this guy can lead our organization.

Dude, I'm telling you, I have never rooted for someone to have a Tom Brady, LeBron-esque long career as much as I'm rooting for Jameis Winston. I want him to be in the NFL forever. I want him to be in a position where he has to speak into a microphone weekly forever because every time he opens his mouth, I am delighted.

Yeah. Every time I hear sound from him, I get so happy. You know what Jameis did for me last night? What's that? He made me want him as the backup down here for Tua. Dude. I saw a guy that can play in cold weather. Dude. Come on down here. He'll build. He's a great team guy building up Tua, massaging his arm on the sideline. I can picture it all.

Guys, I got to tell you something because I can feel it off of Jeremy in the corner. Forgive me for this, but Jeremy, sometimes around here, when the men get to a talking, some of the things that end up happening around here is how fun is Jameis Winston? And let's ignore the sexual assault stuff that makes him the most likable of the two quarterbacks. We acknowledged it.

It's tough to just celebrate the personality, right? Like I have... Look...

I was just having this conversation out there because I didn't want to be this guy on the show today, like bringing down the fun. Too late. Right. We're here, brother. Here we are. Play the RFK sound again because I'm here to support you. I'm here to support you. With RFK sound. If you want to bring down the fun, I'm right here with you. I'm not really sure where the RFK sound comes in. The way that you build a truly vicious nationalist movement is to wed a relatively small core of belligerent idiots.

to a much larger group of opportunists and spineless fellow travelers whose primary function is to turn a blind eye to things. We may not have that many outright Nazis in America, but we have plenty of cowards and bootlickers

And once those fleshy dominoes start tumbling into the Trump camp. Don't know what this had to do with what we were talking about. I'll tell you, your face was the same when I was playing this as it was during what we were just doing with the sexual assault stuff. Your face was exactly the same. He's talking about a sexual assaulter, too. You're a little bit of a fleshy domino right now. I am a fleshy domino. I'm always a fleshy domino. Barely laughing at CTE, though. I didn't laugh at shit, man. I didn't do that. It was from the diaphragm. He didn't laugh at that either. I didn't laugh at anything. I don't laugh at anything.

I don't find joy in anything. Jeremy did not laugh at anything that we were talking about. Let me make something clear, there is nothing joyful about anything. Also, if we're establishing that we have to mention sexual assault allegations in the past, you can't just cue it up for an RFK sound. He's got that too. Well, they all do.

Do you realize how ridiculous you look? For doing the grid of death thing? What is going on with the hat? I lost. So the grid of death punishment that I had is the team that made me lose and go to the grid of death is I have to wear their mascot costume. We'll keep it moving. We'll keep it moving. Guys, I think like as far as a media show goes, when it comes to Jameis Winston, no one awkwardly reminds you more of his past than us. I,

I genuinely think we're covered in that respect. It's a difficult thing to talk about, and we always point to, like, that happened. We'll say since then, totally kept his nose clean, and is now a beloved character in the NFL. That's not true. He hasn't since as a pro? He was suspended three games for groping an Uber driver.

Forgot all about that. Thank you. So remind me of that one. What you were talking about. No, I'm talking about what happened in college when he... Crab legs? No, when he was accused of rape. And that case was only dismissed because of...

How long things went along. He settled out of court right before his civil trial began. The criminal investigation never went that far because the initial complaint was dropped after the detective on the case told the victim that this was a big football town and they needed to be careful.

Okay, these types of things happen all the time all across America and we just I mean look we elect them the people who do this the president so I know that I'm on the losing side of this battle and I just feel like it's important that we bring these things up rather than just like celebrating Oh, look at quirky fun. Jameis Winston. It's let the guy play in the NFL He never ended up being criminally convicted of anything. He all of those things I'm not saying he shouldn't have an opportunity to do his profession from here. I

But it's just hard when we're now taking it from, oh, this guy's playing good at quarterback to like, let's celebrate how fun and quirky he is. I hear you. Did you see that snow angel?

So Angel was pretty good. Come on. He slid like a seal. You know what? Finally, someone who ruins the fun around here more than I do. You're welcome, Dan. I genuinely don't want to talk about it anymore. We don't have to. We did it. We did it. Look, I just wanted to make sure that it got set...

It always gets said. It always gets said. Did you see the pass of Jerry Judy over the top? It was an incredible pass. It literally always gets said. It's where Dan started. It's like the first thing he said about Jerry. You guys didn't even

- I didn't even know it happened! - No, no, no, actually I think you got confused because-- - I will go out and say I never heard that story. - No, I knew about the Uber one. I thought he was talking about a new thing. - I knew the Uber one, yeah, yeah. - Like that's the thing that I was talking about, but it's just, it's always said on this show. - Oh, bad, bad animation. - And I don't, at what point do we keep saying it has to be said and we said it? - Okay, I just think about the women who listen to our show who either are victims of sexual assault or are watching what's going on in this country in regard to, and I hate, like again, I hate the word, I hate Me Too.

I don't like me either. Jeremy, you're a scientist. But you do love yourself. You hate the movement. I hate me too? You hate the movement? Yeah, the movement. Yep, the movement. You know what? I'm going far right myself. That's a...

Jeremy, I understand where you're coming from. You're assigning us a virtue that you're not assigning the people that broadcast these games. We're literally the only show in the game, both covering it as a league partner broadcaster, both in the podcast media space. We're the only one that consistently reminds you that this is happening. I understand it's a responsibility, and I think we kind of live up to it.

But did you see that snow angel? Let me retreat for just a moment because during what was happening last night, because I want to get to this Miles Garrett sound after the game. It was wonderful. I loved hearing just one of the beasts remind you he's one of the beasts. I haven't heard him talk like that. And it's because it's simply because where greatness resides at the very top of all time greats. He's like, hey, TJ, watch, stand down.

Like, yeah, I know you got the giant hands and everyone's talking about you and you got the five-game winning streak. I'm defensive player of the year. Watch this. Like, when that shit, that guy's been wrecked by a car. Like, Andrew Hawkins wishes he had that body. Do you know what Andrew Hawkins would have done to that league if he had the body of Miles Garrett physically stronger than everyone he's playing against? I submit to you he would have never made the league.

because you would have rested on your laurels. You being given less made you work harder and made you the player that you were. Buddy, don't change for anything. Don't ask God to change anything. You were made perfect. He's the quickest guy ever. Thank you. I was waiting for somebody to say it. I was going to say when it comes to quickness and agility, you were looking at the Miles Garrett of movement. Okay? So please make no mistake. I did win the genetic lottery, Dan. Uh,

You just could have wanted even more, though. I never won a defensive player of the year. Touche. Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. I was insulted on his behalf. I don't have the fun CTE, so don't piss me off here today. God damn it.

Let's let's play that sound for the people because that was an enormously fun game It became all the more fun when it started snowing Jameis wins it so many giant plays in that game like where you can turn and be like Mike Tomlin What are you doing? What are you doing with your timeouts? Do I need to let him score here? Jesus Christ Jerry Judy looks a lot better when he's not in Denver and when Winston's just slinging it all over the place They were terrible on third down great on fourth down. That's the Jameis Winston experience. I

I mean, it's just him running around, enjoying himself. They love playing with him. That part is clear. And here's Myles Garrett after the game. Jeremy, what were his stats at halftime? Myles Garrett, so when they're up at halftime and you see that they're just smothering Russell Wilson in a deep play offense, what were Myles Garrett's halftime stats? Four pressures, three sacks, and a forced fumble by the half.

That's insane. Yeah, and so after the game, and you guys tell me because I've been watching these three guys, Micah Parsons and TJ Watt and him, and I've been like, that's the best that any of that can be done. But Miles Garrett is here to tell you, no, I do it better than the other two.

I'm number one. And, no, that's from edge defender one, edge one to defensive player of the year. I'm the guy. So that runs through me. There's no other person being defended as I am or scheme or plan against like I am. So...

This goes to show, you can throw that out the window. I'm going to find a way. Hawk, I'm used to somebody feeling that way in a locker room. I'm rarely used to someone just saying it like that on a broadcast. Well, someone's got to say it. You know, you won't know I'm the quickest person in the world unless I come on the Dan Lebitard show and let the world know. And the same goes for Miles. Maybe it's a Cleveland thing that, hey, you know what? I'd like some damn respect out here in Northeast Ohio. And, um...

I agree. I mean, you have to game plan for Miles Garrett in a way that people don't game plan for other people. I mean, again, we're talking about TJ Watt versus Miles Garrett. These are two Hall of Fame level players who are ridiculous. And it's really you can flip a coin. But I don't mind Miles making stake in his claim.

that he's the guy. We just don't typically see it from defensive ends. It's a cornerback thing. To be cornerback number one, you have to come out, talk shit, back it up, and then everybody anoints you as cornerback number one. What's crazy is how much the TJ Watt thing played into last night. Oh, yeah. Having watched Miles perform, and I know his body's going through a lot this year. He's tough and...

toughening it out quite a bit this season, but he got up for that game. It was visible. And that adrenaline was carrying over to the postgame. The T.J. Watt thing was in his head all week. He's like, we're having a bad season and no one's talking about me because of it. I'm going to remind you. Since February, whenever T.J. Watt tweeted and tweeted. And it was a nationally televised game. Everybody's watching. It's hard to get that kind of motivation for a team that's not doing well. If I may, though...

TJ Watt has led the league in sacks three years. I don't think anybody's ever done that. So Miles Garrett is like, hey...

Me, I'm the one all the double teams. It's never me isolated. It's never me not being chipped by a back like it. It's me breaking through double teams. But TJ, what the stats say forever that TJ Watt, the way we do it, not the way that Hawk does it, but the way we do it, the stats say forever that TJ Watt is better than Miles Garrett because no one's ever done lead the league in sacks three years. That's not has anyone done that?

I don't know. Reggie White, maybe? I'm just guessing. Reggie had two in a row. I'm looking through now. I don't think that's been done before. And TJ Watt just started. Like, he...

What we're talking about, their statistics, how do you measure these guys? Because when I saw Miles Garrett for the first time, I'm like, holy shit, I've rarely seen anything like that. It took me a couple of years with T.J. Watt. It wasn't like that from the very beginning. I'm as big a Miles Garrett fan as there is. And I think...

they're so consistently great. What I give the edge to TJ Watt is TJ Watt has this intangible flair for the dramatic with a game on a line. You feel almost certain he's going to touch the football. Now, Miles has come up for his team in big spots too, but it seems like in seasons that their entire identity is TJ is going to make a game-changing play. He delivers almost time in

and time out, and I think he's just got that extra little bit of clutchness in those big time moments that are huge game changing plays that Miles is just falling short of. - You know when Mike talks like that, he looks like a jaguar. - Yeah, he holds his arms up and he's like,

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Void in Ontario. Bet must win to receive reward. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG.co slash bball. Don Libetard. For weeks, months even, during the regular season, I wondered aloud what Kevin Stenland did. And then about three weeks ago,

It hit me. Stugatz. He gives them one of these, and he gives them one of those. This is the Don Levitas Show with the Stugatz. You guys do realize wherever the most competitive of excellence resides, that stuff gets stirred. It's not just Miles Garrett and T.J. Watt. Jerry Jones kept Robert Kraft out of the Hall of Fame again.

Like Jerry Jones hasn't done any winning over the last 30 years, but you can make sure. Okay, Kraft, you can make your Apple documentaries over there where you get the credit and Brady gets the credit and Belichick doesn't get the credit, but you can't have the jacket. Hold on. Jeremy, Jerry Jones, Kraft, you want to jump in there? No, I don't. I'm done. My bad. Go ahead, Dan. Thank you, though, Hawk. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you've given me an opportunity to continue to isolate myself from everyone else.

Jeremy, how do I help you here? Because you already did. I want. Well, I want. I want this to be fun. But this has been the source of my unhappiness for the last three and a half years. It's fine. Everything's fine. Trump's president now. We're good. Should we get like a sounder, like a siren? Whenever we're talking about somebody who has something, we just play a little. We

The point gets pulled over. I don't know. Don't forget, there was that one time against the Steelers where Miles Garrett swung a helmet at Mason Rudolph. Allegedly. Allegedly. And he accused Mason Rudolph of saying the N-word, but then it just kind of went away. And then what are we all to do with that?

Yeah. Wow. I like this bit that Chris has come up with. Like, I think Jeremy should put on, like, a cop uniform, and then, like, as the conversation's going, we play that. That's good. Hold on. We play the siren, and he says, you know why I pulled you over? Like, no. Well, Jameis Winston has all these things that happen. Oh.

Oh, sorry. It's not a real cop. Hold on. Okay, I didn't know where we were. Wow, Jeremy. I was getting into character. How dare you? I already said ACAB. It would be great if Jeremy's character came in, I hate me too, on his jersey and then arrested Andrew Hawkins for being black. What a heel turn.

What a heel. Jeremy, you in? I hate me too. No commas allowed on this shirt. Just my punctuation. One word. I'm with Jeremy. It's frustrating that there is a fatigue because in every facet of life, through politics, through celebrity, through even sport, you're going to have to do this. Look, everyone, 60 million people allegedly gathered around a TV to watch Jake Paul versus Mike Tyson. There's a ton of baggage there too. I think that our show in particular, because I'm just addressing our show,

And I think our show and Jeremy kind of feels the need to maybe step on it a little bit more because no one else is doing it. No one else is doing it because it puts you in a really awkward position. You're going to be exposed. Hypocrisies are going to pop up every now and then. We're going to have things like it's not a good look if we're talking about Jameis and Robert Kraft and Jerry Jones get mentioned and nada. So I understand our show is trying its absolute best.

I think we've done the Jameis Winston shows. Hell, we did a year's worth. Nobody got into those allegations more than this show in the main media space. You can frame it in occasional discussions, but I'm not going to hold it against you if Jameis Winston has a funny interview and you just want to revel in the laughs. It's something that several years ago, it's a part of his story. You don't need to tell his story every time he does something. Don't worry. If you're a celebrity, they just let you do it.

I would say to Mike Ryan as I hear... That's right, no, and we were playing Nazi sound with RFK's funny voice because it's hard to laugh these days. Flesh dominoes. Yeah, fleshy dominoes is such a good insult. I want to make pink shirts that call people fleshy dominoes. Why are they pink? Like just...

Because it's fleshy. I didn't know what the color was. Yeah, but the domino is like an ivory color, though, Dan. My fleshy's brown, man. Go ahead. Okay, my bad. I would think that I thought that I think of it as sort of Canadian scarred by the sun, but okay. I'm sorry, my bad for cutting out a community. I hate me too. A lot of black Canadians there. He's been there. He played there. I played there. Shane Gillis Alexander.

The game last night, I think everybody was enjoying. Chris Cody, I know, didn't enjoy it until about four minutes left because he told everyone publicly that he would bet the college education of his child on Jameis Winston throwing an interception. And that had not happened before the last four minutes of that game. Flanagan went nuts when that happened. Everyone had that bet.

How fun was it to have Christmas football weather arrive out of nowhere in the second half where the game is normal in the first half and all of a sudden, okay, NFL November is here. White and here comes Jameis. There was one field goal where I thought it was good. You couldn't really see the ball in the air. It was just like, I think that's good. And Joku dropped an easy pass. Al Michael couldn't tell the difference. Al Michaels couldn't tell the difference between a joke. He couldn't see the field, right? Right.

I think he called a white guy David Njoku for sure. I saw that on the internet. Me and Tony had PTSD from our time in Cleveland during the NBA All-Star weekend because it literally looked exactly like that. It snowed on us like that. We were standing outside of, I don't even remember where it was, like McGillicuddy's Bar or something. Whatever that Irish bar is, you know, the one right across from the Q or whatever.

I can't remember. Let's figure this out. Let's figure out what it's called. It's McGillicuddy's. Don't worry about it. Wait, wait. Say here. Come on. Let's find it. Quicksand. The name of the place was Quicksand. No, McGillicuddy's. McGillicuddy's. Great place, by the way. Caddy Corner to the Q or right across? No, Caddy Corner. Caddy Corner. But my favorite part was as we're trying to...

Order an uber and ubers were like two hour 37 minute wait two hours It was a two hour wait lift with a way to go by the way everything was a two hour wait You know why I knew it we were in deep shit because huddled in the corner was Jake from State Farm Waiting for his own next to us He was just like shivering wearing the ridiculous jacket he wore to Saturday all-star Saturday night And I saw him get accosted by drunk fan after Douglas. Hey Jake was

And the poor guy wanted to be anywhere but there. Anywhere but Cleveland. Well, thank you for bringing that up, Amin, because I have some sound here from Jason Kelsey and what it is to be fame from TMZ that's uncomfortable. And Jason Kelsey handled it well. But Jason Kelsey, I don't know that he expected all of this that comes to him as a former center and what it is. I'm finding myself feeling bad for someone who's arrived at what would look like

dreams that everybody wants because Jason Kelsey got to fame very fast. You guys are pointing at another Kelsey commercial, right? Kelsey on a commercial right now. Yeah, because they took all the commercials and they're getting a bunch of football fame that usually only goes to the quarterbacks and it happened fast and

I don't know that you expect the TMZ sound that we're about to hear and maybe you'll find it funny or maybe it'll be uncomfortable and you won't find it funny because it's clearly a deranged fan being like just entitled. It's the worst manifestations of cartoon entitlement that there is in the relationship between fans in general and the people they worship.

And this guy was entitled to an autograph from Jason Kelsey and then just hit him with an assortment of crazy. Well, they don't have it yet. I mean, is there anything they don't have it? I mean, they were filibuster. I was filibustering. Why do you think I talk so much around here? We just want to make sure we good to go with Jason Kelsey. Nothing in his history. Are we good, Jeremy? Officer, I believe we're good. I believe he's accused of ruining a cell phone of a college kid. Bring it up.

Let's play the Kelsey sound. Do we have it yet or we don't have it yet? Let's talk more. Amina has been stellar this segment. Did we ever find the name to that bar? Here's the thing. I'm going to find it. Which corner? I don't know.

- Let me give you some criticism, Mr. Levitard. When the filibustering starts to describe what's in the sound, then I feel like you're starting, you gotta filibuster somewhere else. You gotta dance around it. But once you start describing what's in the sound, it's like, well now you're giving it away. - Filibuster Bluth. - I want this to be, filibuster Bluth, thank you. I want this to be something where it's like, okay, build up, set it up, and then when it hits, it hits.

But when you start telling me what's in it, it's like reading the plot section of a Wikipedia. I told Lewis in the talkback, Jason Kelsey, in the middle of the last thought that Andrew Hawkins had, I threw it to Lewis and I threw it to Chris Cody and I told them, I need the Jason Kelsey sound. I'm still waiting for the Jason Kelsey sound. I know. I have to

say something in between and you decided to give us the corner of the bar in the Cleveland that you were in that never produced any video that I would still like to see from you and Tony in Cleveland at the All-Star Game. That's not my fault. Was it Buffalo Wild Wings? No, it wasn't Buffalo Wild Wings. Ye old Buffalo Wild Wings? Oh, wait, hold on now. Oh, Buffalo Wild Wings? Flannery's Pub. Flannery! Caddy Corner from the Q. There it is.

Hey, do we have that sound yet? Chris Cody, what is going on with the Jason Kelsey sound? Are you talking to Lewis or are you talking to me, Chris? I love this. This is a Friday. We're not doing the sound. The sound is not ready. There was an issue. We're not going to the sound. Let's move on. Let's filibuster some more. What did he say?

I was saying that. If you have not seen the video, have you seen it, Hawk? I have seen it this morning, yes. And your visceral thoughts? People need to be punched in the face, but that's not a good take. It's a solid take. It's a good take. If more people got punched in the face... Jeremy, you good with that? I agree. A lot of these things would solve themselves, right? Because I think that there's this like...

expectation that people won't punch you in the face. And if you say that you should punch people in the face, you get looked at a certain way. I've learned in my now, what, seven, eight years since I played professional football, that it is not normal to say, oh, when someone talks to you disrespectfully, that is okay territory to then punch said person in the face. So I am reformed from this way of thinking, but I do think in those situations that that would happen less

if people felt what the actual repercussions should be. Here's the problem. Ten years ago, you were right. Now we live in an economy where they want to get punched in the face. You see how many of those prank videos where they run the prank on the wrong person and then that person, oh, it's just a prank, it's just a prank. That video still gets posted and it still racks up numbers. So you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. The only thing you can do to save yourself is not give it any attention.

is to basically go catatonic. And that's what, look, as someone who's been a bully all my life, everyone knows, well, maybe not me because I do still like bullying people who don't respond back. But for most bullies, they get scared. Like if you don't do anything back, it's boring for them. It's like a bear. It's like you play dead. I want the chase. Me, not so much. I don't care much about the chase. I just like, I like knowing that deep down inside you're ignoring me.

but I'm still annoying you. - There's a part of me that's sad for Jason Kelsey. Because, I mean, the whole dynamic between him and Travis are they are polar opposites, right?

are completely different, ones that, you know, superstar tight end that wasn't even really a thing before Travis Kelsey, the way that it is now. Wanted fame, though. Yes. Aggressively wanted fame. Wanted the spotlight, knew he was built and made for it, and now it's like this larger-than-life offering from Jason's side, which is an offensive lineman, which is the opposite thing. If you know anything about offensive linemen...

They like don't do the things that Travis does or don't say the things that Miles Garrett does in a postgame interview. They pride themselves on being under the radar, you know, people of the people and not being this. And so it feels like for Jason, this thing is almost getting bigger than he ever thought it would. And he's.

having trouble transitioning to what life is like on this side of it. - It's what a lot of people find out, it's like your fame is different. There's a different level and whatever life he got to live literally as an NFL player and as a Super Bowl champion,

It pales in comparison in terms of attention to what he has now. And there's positives to it, right? There's blessings that come with that. But there's also a bunch of curses. And one of the curses is you can't walk around without people bothering you all the time.

They just announced a late night show with ESPN with Jason Kelsey. - Five consecutive Fridays, he's gonna be hosting a late night show. He was on with Kimmel and revealed that and now all the artwork is out on social media. My initial reaction to seeing that is like, oh, this is now a thing that's going to surround him that he has to guard himself.

because he had the phone incident where the guy was clearly going for something, and then just a couple of days later, it seems as though someone goes in with the intention to get over using Jason Kelsey and trying to get a rise out of him because he's already shown you he may throw your phone on the floor. So now he's going to have to totally shut it down before it spirals out of control. Mike, I'm going to tell you exactly what it reminds me of. Remember the Britney Spears documentary? And they were talking about when...

She had her kid in her lap or whatever. And one of the videos they had was her going to Starbucks and getting mobbed. And I was just like, all I could think of was like, baby, why are you going to Starbucks? You send someone to go to Starbucks. Don't you understand where your life is now? You don't get to go to the movies. You want to go to the movies? You got to buy the theater out. You want to go to, you want Starbucks? They built one in your house. Shout out to Jerry Stackhouse. Right? Like you don't.

You don't do these normal things anymore. No coffee for you. No, there is coffee. You don't get it like a regular person, though. And that's not because you're better than people. But because it is physically impossible for you to do this. Kelsey, when they hit the kid's phone or whatever it was...

You just walk in, dude. You can't do that no more. You got to have security. You got to have people doing this thing right here. And that's it. And it feels for a guy like that. What's that thing? Is that security? He's right about that. It's people holding people back. Imagine that. Imagine a guy who made all of his money doing this having to pay a guy to do this. That's crazy. He needs a pass blocker now. He needs a center. That's nuts.

Jason Kelsey needs a professional center. But he's also going to have to pivot because very early in his media career, he's the guy that's going to go out into the crowd and chug a beer. And he's just like, I'm the everyman. I'm going to come down from Taylor Swift's box and be among you guys. And now as his profile increases, that shtick is going to get a little bit more difficult for him. It's got to be curated.

Right? Like, hey, you ever, like the All-Star weekend, so-and-so's performing. Flo Rida's performing. And they have all these people here. You think these people are just people walking down the street? They were curated. They were selected. Like, you're the people who are going to be in the pit. And that's how he's got to do whatever shtick he's got to do. You guys...

are seeing something with the Kelsey's right now that is a real interesting look into some celebrities, societal discomforts in 2024. This is Taylor Swift fame. And this is somebody I haven't gotten the video yet, but I assure you, this is a person who's not totally,

mentally sane in what this behavior is shouted at jason kelsey and how it's um

Verbally, he's disguising it as love and he is going from love to hate very fast and insulting Jason Kelsey a number of different ways that if he did it in Jason Kelsey's face or in Hawks face any one tenth of the things that he said he would have stopped saying them immediately because anybody who's not a celebrity would hit that person in the face to get them to stop saying the things they were saying on the other side of offense. It was deeply offensive and

And I marveled at Jason Kelsey's grace coming back out there and signing autographs of someone who did not deserve anything other than to be pulled away, arrested, and embarrassed because of how bad the behavior was. But the point you guys are making, I think, and you help me understand it because I don't think either one of these two human beings knew exactly what it is they were craving.

But when Travis Kelsey starts dating Taylor Swift and has been looking around, was asking Stugatz, hey, how do I start a podcast? Was looking around saying, put me on this Netflix space show. I want to be famous. I'm a tight end. I don't like this. Showtime space show, different space show.

Wasn't? That's a fine. He was on the Showtime one. Okay, my bad. You understand what I'm saying, though. He wanted all of this. Jason Kelsey stumbled into it because he got drunk at the parade and was charismatic. And then he ends up in a place that he couldn't have possibly imagined. And I wonder, as the late night show starts, if he asks himself, well, do I really want this if I can't just smash the phone?

I can't smash the phone when somebody disrespects me like that. Oh, I have to eat it and go back and sign the autograph of somebody who was insulting me for three straight minutes?

I mean, he did get a TV show like a month after smashing the phone. So, I mean, it's like it seems like if as long as he's not in the wrong, people are OK with it. Quick turn. I'm unclear. Are we still filibustering? I'm asking you guys if you think that there are a lot of examples in front of us where you would say that person seems to have everything. I'm starting to feel bad for them.

I don't think anyone is mentally prepared for what Taylor Swift adjacent fame is because her fan base is kind of like another level of obsessed because they feel like

They know her and that she knows them in the way that she markets herself and communicates and has been there through social media for so long. So there's this like emotional parasocial relationship and attachment that the fans have that in turn turns everything

every boyfriend and everybody adjacent in that boyfriend's family into mega celebrity that are hyper analyzed in ways that are different from anywhere else that they are in their career. And you could look at kind of all the past boyfriends and the way that they've been analyzed by her fan base. It's turned their fame that was already rising into a rocket ship that I don't know that they were prepared for. For the love of everything, let's watch the clip.

Do we have it? I mean, you're trying to produce the show and no one's told me we have the clip. I'm running the show. I know, but this is tantric at this point. Yes, I want to see the clip as well. You're playing defense against me. I mean, it's not bleeped, this clip. We can play it, but there's... Okay, well, this is the problem. They need to edit it because there are so many things said in it that are offensive. And so you keep wanting me to play the clip and stop filibustering. I hate me too! No!

I don't want to talk like this much. I want to talk less. Just play the clip and let Jeremy and everything offensive that's said.

Siren it, and then explain why. Fine. Do we do that the first time? It's a long clip. Chris has control of the sounder. I don't know how bad this is. It sounds like it's pretty bad. Can we just not and then wait a little bit? I understand it's tantric, but okay, we don't have the clip just ready yet. Let's play it. We can do it? Okay, fine. Send me to the penalty box. You couldn't point it to our...

May we please? May we please? I have a habit. I'm not signing for people that follow where I'm going. We're here at it. We're not following you. We get every guest that comes here. Morgan Freeman did it with a busted hand. That's a hundred times bigger than your sorry ass. You're nothing. You don't love nothing but money. You don't know these streets. Your love is fake.

No, we get everybody here. You're a hot shot. You're the guy that tells you off at Penn State. My name's KCL Keith and I represent the streets of Los Angeles, you punk. I'll take you out anytime. And I'll be running the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Watch for me, you p***y. And f*** your love. Next question, p***y. I'm with the shit. Morgan Freeman, Harrison Ford, I have the time, but you don't. F*** you.

I don't want shit. Yeah. Yeah. That's rumble. I'll put the glove down right now. Grab it. Grab it. He's got a sign. I don't want it. I don't want it. I'm not trying to be rude. I don't want. I'm not trying to be mean. You are being mean. I'm trying. Nice sword, buddy. People are dying out here. You are being mean. It takes a minute. Jason, you're nice. I swear. I swear.

I appreciate your time. Stop. I will never do that in my life, Lord. Do not put that on the internet. Oh, well, it's a little late for that. Don't put that on the internet. I regret. The part I regret, actually, in all the bleeping is that we didn't bleep out that guy's name because now something bad is going to come his way, too. I didn't hear it. It's not our fault. It's on TMZ. Jeremy, we good there? Yeah, we're good.

Anything? I'm glad it took all that time because we couldn't say the word f*** on air. Oh, gotta bleep out all those. No, there were two other minutes in there where he used more offensive language. I mean, let's go. I mean, you're gonna have to leave because you don't know what the video is. You don't know what it is that they're... Just get out! Just get out! Two minutes for ruining comedy.

I'm walking, but I just want to say this. Jared Allen of the Cleveland Cavaliers, every time he gets called for a defensive three-second call, he goes, yeah! Yeah! And I'm going to do that every time. You're going to pretend you did that on purpose. Okay. Five minutes. Screaming comedy.

You don't understand that there's a process that has to be edited. You want to always say and do whatever you want because we're all having fun here, right? But that clearly, that guy who's yelling at Jason Kelsey, fun CTE, right? That is the funnest CTE I've ever heard. That was pretty fun.

The interesting part of that clip for me is you can see Kelsey there. He's having this interaction with this guy, and he does the math of, I don't want another one of these bad ones. So he gets out, and that's him doing PR right there. He's like, you know what? This guy hates me. I don't want another Penn State thing, so I'm going to get out here, and I'm going to go try to...

fix it with this guy. You can see the wheels turning there of this is going to be another thing. I'm going to go try to fix this. Yeah, that was a bad move. He handled that wrong. He should have walked over, taken the pin, chucked it 70 yards, and went back to the SUV. He'd be a legend today. Hawk, help me with this because I really... He's saying this is a bad take, but it's the most human thing, what he is saying there. If I don't have to worry about fame and you disrespect me, I can just...

I could disavow you of that notion quickly by simply, you will not insult me. I'm hitting you in the face. We're done here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's...

Fame is interesting because, yes, you are held to a quote unquote standard. But if you opt into the standard that people create for you, that's when you're held to it. For example, Gronk can be drunk in public 24-7 and everybody loves it. And there are people that if they do that, it will be an article for the next three weeks about how he's setting a bad example. For Jason Kelsey, who is now like...

getting acclimated to this newfound fame, if he takes the approach that, man, I don't want people to think I'm a mean person, when you're well within your right to get off a plane, get in your car, and go the hell home, whether you want to sign an autograph or not, well, now you're going to hold yourself to that impossible standard, is what I'm saying with Kelsey. Like, Pac-Man Jones, who is a teammate of mine, a friend of mine, we have teammates, I've known him for a long time,

Jeremy, not now. I wasn't doing anything. He got arrested again last week. Nobody cared because he can get arrested anytime.

Once a week for the next 100 years. They change. They change. They change the entire conduct code, the entire conduct code because Pac-Man Jones existed. Yeah. And that's like so for Jason, instead of trying to hold up to a standard, he has to know with this level of fame, you do have the opportunity to create whatever your standard is.

That's all I'm saying. Well, see, but this is a huge one. What he's saying there is the difference between Jason Kelsey getting to enjoy this and Jason Kelsey being sad because they will try to change you, Hawk. They will. They will. He's doing a late night show now for Disney. He's leaving Jimmy Kimmel. He's not. I mean, he's going to try to be authentically himself. It pays it. Drunken public for Jason Kelsey has paid, but drunken public's not really allowed anymore, is it?

It is if that's how you get over. It's it. But no, but is drunken public allowed if he starts breaking phones in bar fights because you can't talk to him that way when you're right in his face? He survived that. It's...

He's just got to look out for him becoming meme adjacent in that, oh, this is a guy that we can go after and it becomes like a pop cultural thing to see if you can get a rise out of Jason Kelsey. That's what he needs to navigate. And I actually thought he did a good job there trying to stop it before it becomes more of a thing. Yeah. I mean, this is a guy that said he's going to be running the cinematic Marvel Universe. He also runs the streets of L.A. So he's likely a crip, right?

Maybe a blood. Maybe a blood. We don't know. Maybe a blood. That's valid. He also mentioned Morgan Freeman, who Jeremy has stuff. He said he's bigger. And Morgan Freeman, I've seen him. He's not bigger than Jason Kelsey. Jason Kelsey is a bigger human than Morgan Freeman. And he also mentioned that people are dying, which is true. People are dying. But it's always true. But it's always true. You said that. It's important. So I think Jason should have clicked. Okay, this guy...

Has fun CTE. Let me continue on with my life. You know, Chris, you mentioned the Penn State thing before. And speaking of them, they probably shouldn't have a program, right? No. It's a Friday, man. Howdy, loyal listeners. It's Mike Ryan. And we're getting pretty close to wishing folks happy holidays. I'm sure many of you are already in the planning stages of opening up your homes and hosting holiday get-togethers.

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