Hour 1: Back In My Gay
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This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast. ♪

Stugatz just muttered under his breath, kind of defeated, kind of jealous. He saw Dave Annable there on the screen and said, man, good looking guy. Am I lying? No, you're not lying. He was ranked number seven on People Magazine's list of sexiest men alive. Wow. So he technically, what are you saying? Outside of top five. Outside of the top five. Outside looking in. What's the point of being Stugatz on this list?

If you're seven. Dave, thank you for joining us. What is the point of being on the list if you're just seven? Billy knows because he's often in the top five of all sexy lists.

You know, here's the deal. Actually, I was on page seven, you know, so I don't know if I really was in the top ten. It just happened like that got out. I might have started it. But yeah, you know, it's really I don't think I was in the top ten at all. For the people who do not know, I don't know if they associate you with Yellowstone Brothers and Sisters, Lioness. When people want to come and talk to you, it's probably not about Yellowstone, right?

Well, they do. It's just to really bust on me, you know, like, Oh, you died in act four of the most popular show on the planet. And I, you know, I'd say, thank you for reminding me. Uh,

You know, I do have a Yellowstone sticker on my truck. I'm really holding on. You know, I'm really trying to grasp onto that as long as possible. What did you think the show was going to be in its initial stages? And how crazy is Costner about these Westerns that he would like gamble his homes to make Western stuff outside of Yellowstone?

Yeah, you know, that's a whole wild other story. But, you know, I sort of knew going in that I was going to die, right? So obviously I read the script. What I didn't know is how fun – I mean, it's been out for five years. You know, I mean, catch up. You know, but –

You know, I did know I was going to die. What I didn't know is like how much fun like being a cowboy would be up from New York. So like being on a horse in Montana and Utah, like with everybody, I was like, yo, I don't I don't want to die at all. Like, this is way too fun. So, you know, we're shooting my death scene and I got all the fake blood and everything. I'm like, wait, no, no, this is makeup. You know, guys like I'm I'm going to live. This is fine. Please, please don't kill me.

I started a whole Save Dave campaign. It was one member, me.

You know, I'm still holding on. I was like, you know, any flashbacks? And Taylor's like, nah. Could be a force ghost, maybe. Come back as a ghost, you know, talking to Hayden. Yeah, yeah. You know, I did pop back for one little scene in season four in the finale. And it was, you know, it was just so great. I mean, everybody there is, I mean, they're like the Beatles now, the cast. It's crazy. I did a stagecoach with them and, you know, they couldn't walk around at all. And, you know, I was trying to get recognized. Yeah.

I was like, hey, you know, once a dozen, you know, and they were all like, yeah. Lee, you know, first seven minutes.

So you guys knew you had a hit, though, when? I never understood how it is that that show grew that quickly when you have to seek out your entertainment. And I was wondering what that show was doing that its word of mouth arrived at, hey, this is the most popular show in America. Yeah, I think, you know, my take, which means nothing on this, is there's so much.

there's so many things to watch out there. And, you know, nowadays I think it, it really is kind of those word of mouth shows, you know, things that are, are really, you know, catching on water cooler and then COVID, I think Yellowstone really blew up in COVID. I mean, everyone's home, you know, everyone plowed through tiger King and just had, you know, something else to watch. And I think Yellowstone, you know, it's fantastic. And Taylor is,

you know, the best in the business right now. So it's, um, you know, and they're on their, they're on their final season. Uh,

So, yeah, I mean, it's a great show. You know, Cowboys, Costner, you know, it's awesome. You're a Giants fan, a New York Giants fan. Don't say that out loud. Don't say that out loud. And you're a New York Mets fan as well. That's an odd combination, by the way. It is, yeah. It's usually Mets, Jets, you know. And, you know, I did – the Giants are great. You know, they were – I mean, you know, we got two Super Bowls in there with Eli. But, I mean, man, what happened? We're in a –

We're in a real rebuilding stage. And obviously, the news just came out. They're benching Jones, third string. What's your take on that? Are we trying to lose? We're trying to get a pick? Dave, let me help you out here as a fellow Giants fan. We are the best team.

fan base in the world. You know why? Because every day you and I are roughly the same age. Every decade of our lives, they've won a Super Bowl. They won one in the 80s. They won one in the 90s. They won one in the 2000s. One in the 2010s. We still got six more years of the 2020, right? You guys are really roughing it. Dude, I'm telling you, as long as they win a Super Bowl in the next like five years, we're fine. We've got one every decade. And then we coast the rest of the time.

I buy that. I buy that. You know, who's it going to be? Who's our QB? Who's going to lead us to the promised land? Can we get Eli back? How do you end up feeling about that when it happens to you a couple of days ago? Because your allegiances to football are greater than they are to the other sports, are they not?

Yeah, I mean, football and baseball. You know, I'm a huge Mets fan. We had quite a ride this year, you know, and it was fun. We came up short, but like, man, we had some moxie, you know, we had some real fight in us, which was exciting. We needed it. It's been a long time since we could cheer for those guys. So, yeah, you know, it's easier to turn the Giants off nowadays, you know, watch the red zone, you know, catch up on my fantasy because I'm like, they're just they're real bad, you know.

And so you get the Daniel Jones news and you're hopeless about the future? You're like, I'm done with him. I don't think he can play anymore. I'm guessing he's excited about it. No more Daniel Jones.

Yeah, you know, it was tough because I was kind of a believer and I was like, oh, give this guy a shot. But I feel like we've seen enough. He's had enough real estate and maybe it's going to be a change of scenery for him or something because I'm always cheering for guys. But, like, you know, it ain't it. You know, it really – I think it is time to move on. You know, we paid him over Barkley. Yeah.

You know, it's not like he's brushing it in our division or anything. Are these real tears? I guess I was going to ask, what does it feel like to watch Saquon Barkley do what he's doing for the Eagles?

Well, he's on all three of my fantasy teams, so I don't really mind it. You hedge your feelings. I like that. I'm like, yo, this guy, he needed a team. He needed a young team, a great line. But it's tough to watch. But again, I'd rather see him...

you know, sort of go off and succeed than like just being a bad team the whole time. You know, Dave, like myself, you seem to be somebody who has embraced your graying hair, right? Silvering hair, if you will. Mine, if it grew out, would look pretty much very similar to yours. I get compliments on my hair color more than anything else. Why is it that everybody else has missed out and gray has been the way to go this whole time?

You know, that's a great question. I mean, it makes me look like somewhat intelligent, like I could read or something. And I'm really riding this. You know, thank you. No, it's really, you know, really when it fast forward once I married a Cuban. And now, you know, it's really all I got, to be honest. You know, it's my only calling card. So I got to ride this. Did you learn any Spanish marrying a Cuban?

Un poquito. You know, it was in our wedding vows. And I really, you know...

If she were here, she would say I need to learn some more. But, you know, it's great because we go to her house in in Reno Valley. And, you know, there's like every barbecue is like 150 Cubans. You know, there's like two other white guys, you know, speaking English and everybody else is just speaking Spanish. And it's, you know, this really just fun, beautiful family. And, you know, it's great. Do they call you gringo? Gringo.

Yeah, you know, that's what that means. No, they don't talk to me, actually. Ever? Okay, yeah, they're talking Spanish, yeah. Every time I'm there, I'm meeting like a new family member. I'm like, who's that? They're like, she's like...

That is the way that goes with Hispanic families. Did you get the Yellowstone gig because you just look like a cowboy? You don't identify as a cowboy. You're not the cowboy type, but you do. If I'm just looking at you and you walk into a room, I'm like, that guy, I can make that person a cowboy. He identifies as a giant then.

Yeah, yeah. A sad, sad giant bad thing. No, you know, it was funny because I, you know, obviously I'm from New York and Taylor happened to be my wife's old acting coach. And, you know, I was running a scene with her for a show I was on at the time. And she had this really like sort of confused, sad look on her face. She's like, have you ever tried coaching? And I was like, no.

- It sounded personal. But she introduced me to Taylor and we had started coaching together on the show. And basically when Yellowstone came around, I saw that he wrote it and it was Costner. And then I was supposed to be like the best cowboy. And I was like, ah, shit, I'm not, I gotta pass on this. I've been on a horse twice in my life.

and out of nowhere because i hadn't spoken to him in years he calls my wife and he says why did your man just pass on the audition for yellowstone it's like kevin costner apparently

And he starts giving her all this, you know, all this crap. And she's like, Dave, we got to put you on tape for Yellowstone, like, today. I was like, okay, let's do it. And, you know, and then I got it. And, you know, Taylor called. And I was like, sir, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Like, I don't know how to ride a horse, you know, properly. And he's like, we'll get you on a horse tomorrow. And then from that day on, you know, for, like, literally two months, I was on a horse every day. And we were in cowboy camp in the mountains of Utah and Montana. And it was like this, you

you know, incredible experience that I had that I, you know, forever just will cherish. It's a lot of work to get killed in three episodes. I just hired someone that can ride a horse, waste the money. Billy, I was like, how bad was he at riding a horse? And they're like, we got to kill his character, man. Yeah, exactly. Day one, they're like, no, no, he's dead. We're going to change this all up. No, we're going to shoot him in the chest.

What has been the experience on Lioness? It's a weird time in Hollywood. Season two is out now on Paramount+. What has been the experience being involved with the new hit series, Lioness?

You know, it's great, you know, if I'm going to be honest with you. It's, you know, Taylor right now is sort of top in the business in television. And, you know, he's got this incredible knack for writing dialogue and characters and relationships. And, you know, it's espionage. It's Zoe Vildana, Morgan Freeman, Nicole Kidman, and Michael Kelly. And, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know,

And, you know, I get to play Zoe's husband. Doesn't suck. So, you know, it's really been a great ride. And I feel like this is, again, one of those sort of water cooler shows that is starting to spread. And I think people are really enjoying it. And, yeah, you know, go for the ride here. Let's see what happens. Is it easier to ride a lion? Oh, Jesus Christ. You know, there was a lot of jokes there. But, you know, just, you know.

He chose the bad one. Yeah, he chose the one. Of all the good ones that were there, he rejected all of them and decided to go with that one. You ain't lying. Oh, there you go. No, no, no, no. Do not encourage him.

I'm sorry. It got me. I'll be honest with you. I feel like Dave isn't doing a good job of selling this to you. The show's called Lioness, but it's called Special Ops, colon Lioness. That's all it takes to hook me in. Lots of machine guns here. Lots of spies. That's all you need, right? In order to get him interested in any of this stuff. So no lions. You just need some special ops. I don't think there are lions. No. Maybe. He's so disappointed. Yeah, he seems upset about that.

Can you take us through what your Mets experience was this year? Obviously, it was better than a lot of years, but it still ends in heartbreak.

Yeah, you know, I mean, I think at one point, what, we were 17 and a half games back, you know, like in June or something like that. And, you know, to be that far back and then sort of, you know, the end of the season, the Braves at Monday, you know, the only two teams playing and trying to get their way in. It was so exciting. I was literally in school pickup and

And I was late. I'm sorry, kid. When she sees this, I was late, you know, because I was watching the game. You know, I'm screaming, I'm texting, and then, you know, the Braves came back, and then blah, blah, blah. The Mets won. And, you know, it was great because I got my wife was on board for the whole playoff run, my kids, and we're sitting around watching the Mets. And, you know, this team, like, didn't quit. They really didn't quit. And, you know, they had so much grit and fight, and it was exciting, you

to get behind him. It's been a while. So it was, you know, I think we got great prospects for next year. Do we get Soto? I don't know. You know, who's getting Soto? Fans love to identify with grit. Fans love when they love so much when their teams are gritty. You also love this, Stugatz. Listen to this description.

Lioness is about a CIA special ops team led by former military specialists willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of their lives for their country. And it will plays Dr. Neil McNamara, pediatric oncology surgeon and husband to Joe, a doctor. Amazing. It's the hands. Yeah.

It is the hair. It is. It's exceptional hair. You also look a bit like Ryan Reynolds if he had more gray hair. Yeah, if you were older. And like just softer. You know?

He's got a Clooney vibe to him, doesn't he? I know what I see in you. We're really fawning all over you right now. Ryan Reynolds and Clooney. This is good company. You should have finished higher than seventh in 2007 on People Magazine. I should have been on page five. I should have been on page five. Do you know the six guys in front of you? Do you know them off the top of your head? No, I want to get to know them. I want to get in that studio. I mean, you know, I got my fan club.

Dave, thank you for being on with us. We appreciate the time. Again, season two out now on Paramount+. Lioness is the name of the show. Enjoy the time, sir. Oh, thank you. And thanks for having me, guys. Big fan. So keep it going. Thank you. All right. Bye, guys. Thank you.

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Don Levitard. It sounds to me like everybody could use a hug because a hug is always the right size. Stugatz. All I have put in my body today is three cups of coffee and an entire cup of honey. Don't let him fool you. He said in the break that he's jittery. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

We're going to get to an Izzy Gutierrez back in my gay in a second. What a wonderful man. Yes. I love him. Yes, we all fell in love there just staring into the lagoons that he has for eyes. Can you tell me, Billy, because I've heard you guys talking about this for a couple of days and I don't know the story. The Paul Skeens card offer, the Pirates fireballer who is the...

Rookie of the year and nobody can hit him and he's got a tremendous mustache. What is the card offer? It's a baseball card offer. So Topps has done this thing where like when a rookie makes their debut, they have a little rookie debut MLB debut patch, right? And then they take that patch off of the jersey and then they put it in a card and then they autograph the card. One of one.

now it's a one of one so it's a rare situation every rookie presumably gets one of these made Paul Skeens as you guys are well aware is a rookie sensation from LSU plays for the Pirates Pittsburgh stays in all the nice Hampton Inns and he won rookie of the year two days ago now

The pirates seemingly want this card back, but they don't know where the card is. It gets put out in a pack. Or, you know, if you go into the card truthers, you find out that some of the best cards get leaked to some of the more famous collectors. That's just what the truthers out there are saying about the card. The underbelly of the card world says that maybe there's some favoritism there. They can kind of actually control where those things go. And it's not just old Billy Gill opens up a box atop.

and gets the Paul Skeeton's card. Not exactly how it seems to work. That's how you talk in the underbelly. I love that character. Anyways... Underbelly baseball card. The underbelly is a good character. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. And now we...

I know we indulge in some tomfoolery here, some shenanigans and the likes, but I don't want any part with the dark world of the card collectors. So do not enlist me in this battle, my friend. I want no part of being in wars with the underworld of the card collection game. It seems like you inserted yourself there. Okay, sorry. Anywho, so here's the thing. The card is out there, and the pirates want said card, and they've made...

insane offers to the person who finds the card and then gives them this card. So they've offered two Pirate Season tickets behind home plate for the next 30 years.

is one of the things on there. A softball game for 30 at PNC Park, plus coaching from Pirates alumni. A spring training experience like no other. Private tour of the Pirates spring training facility, two Paul Skeen's autographed jerseys, meet and greet with Paul Skeen, batting practice, warm up with the team, and other unique experiences. Then Livvy, Paul's girlfriend, has said, you will also be sitting in a suite with me for a game if you give us this card.

So the value of this card now, just in these things that they're giving you, is millions of dollars. Like, 30 seasons of season tickets behind home plate should you flip them. I don't know if you can. I'm assuming you can, even though they probably wouldn't want you to. You can get millions of dollars over 30 years for this card. It is the Pirates, though. Yeah.

It is, but 30 years behind home plate is going to be expensive. And when you mentioned reselling him, didn't Joey Porter Jr.'s family sell his will call tickets for $400 and just tailgate? And they were quoted as saying, we've seen him play. We know what that kid can do. We don't need to watch that again. There's a lot of money in what it is that you're talking about behind home place, even if it is the Pirates. But what is this card actually worth? Because...

Obviously, this is based on the idea that it's not just that the card is valuable and exclusive because there's only one. It's also based on the idea that this guy is going to be an all-time baseball player. That this card is going to be one of one for a player that is going to dominate baseball if he does not get injured. Well, so if you get the card...

it would greatly benefit you to live in the Pittsburgh area and be a Pirates fan, right? Because if someone in, you know, I don't know, California gets this card, 30 years of Pittsburgh Pirates season tickets are pretty worthless. A punishment more than a reward. Well, even if Paul Skeens, by the way, pans out, you will be married to the Pirates longer than Paul Skeens will be.

Like you will be going to pirates games much longer than Paul Skeen's career by far two or three times his career. Possibly. I texted David about this. He says, if Skeen's is a hall of famer, it's a bargain. If he blows out and fizzles out another story, like, well, tell me who the guys are. When you think of these names, Brian Taylor, Carrie wood, uh,

People who were going to be Paul Skeens, but the human arm isn't meant to continue throwing baseballs at that rate of speed. Mark Pryor. Cubs had two of them. Yeah, the Cubs had two guys like this that debuted this way where you thought they're going to be winning 20 games a season for 10 seasons. Strasburg, to an extent.

Right. Like he had a good career. He won a World Series, but he didn't live up to greatest pitcher ever hype just because of injuries. He was the World Series MVP, wasn't he? Yeah. I mean, he would think. Yeah. But he still felt. I mean, it's like the argument is like Andrew Luck, like Andrew Luck. If you look at what he did was kind of a disappointment in the NFL. That's what you thought he would be. And it was just because of injuries derailing his career. I would say Matt Harvey is another one.

It's a great one. When you're mentioning Strasburg, though, I don't think we're allowed to say Strasburg's career was a success only because the expectations were in this place where this is going to be an all-time dominant person, not a major leaguer for seven years.

who is serviceable, but somebody who is going to be unhittable in the sport for 10 to 15 years. Yeah. But like when you win a world series, I feel like that kind of mitigates a lot of the disappointment, especially for a franchise like the nationals. Didn't they don't have anything. And you crush it during that post season. Absolutely. Yes. I think in his debut, Bobby Q was calling the game and said he was going to be a hall of famer and

in his first game. Strasburg was supposed to be one of the best pitchers ever, whether you win a title or not and win a World Series MVP or not, because of where the expectations were, that career can be considered nothing but a disappointment. If Skeens has Strasburg's career even now, it will be considered a disappointment, even if it wins a World Series title in Pittsburgh. He did play 12 seasons. He was 113-62 with a 3-2-4 ERA, but I agree with you. Like, you're right. The expectations were set at such a ridiculous spot.

This is not an indictment of Strasburg's career. It's an indictment of the expectations for Strasburg and an underestimation of what it is that the ravages of throwing a baseball that hard does to the human body. It's going to be interesting to see with Skeens, too, because we've entered this age of...

starting pitchers not really throwing that deep into game. So when you go and end up looking at his stats, Dugat's like, he's not going to have it no matter how long he pitches. He's probably not going to have that many wins. Oh no, but he goes, he'll throw a hundred pitches and go six or seven innings. For now. Yeah, for now, right? And he's probably going to get hurt because they all get hurt. Very few of them go. In fact, he hasn't had the Tommy John that he needs to have yet, right? Because they all have to have Tommy John so they can come back as the second

version of themselves because again it's not a tenable human act to continue to throw a baseball that hard going back to Strasburg so his career was 13 years but it was really only 10 right like all of his production was in those first 10 years and then 2020 to 2022 was just constant injury high years he just wasn't playing very much he never really got to be himself again

That list of things that who is it that wants it that badly? I love the idea of someone being like, well, you do get a softball game with all your friends. So now I really want in on this. The 30 years of season tickets, that's fine. But I get to play a softball game with all my friends. Well, it's on their field. I think for me, it's like a tour of the spring training facility. Ty Wigington is going to be my coach.

But I feel like anyone can get a tour of the spring training facility. Not for free. This is not what you keep the card. Hold on to the card. Force somebody's hand. That's what you do. Leverage. I'm at least putting it on. I guess if you put it on eBay, you have to actually go through with it. I want to see what the eBay market is. Do you think you're going to get something better than 30 years value of season tickets? You can start a bid on eBay and then just, if you're not happy with what you're getting, just end it. The problem is, yes, you can. But the problem, Billy, is 30 years of season tickets, $30.

to the Pirates. It's a commitment, man. 30 years. I had one season of full season tickets because I was tricked into thinking that's the only way I could go to the All-Star game. Man. They got you? They got me too. I think Billy and I both had season tickets that year. I had 81 that year. It was...

You didn't go halfsies with someone? No. So I split it with my family. We had five season tickets for 81 games. And we were like the first section where the price was like, whoop, boop, and they dropped. And I was like, okay, I can do this, brother. I was on there. I was on there in the secondary market wheeling and dealing. I felt awesome.

alive that season. Oh, really? Oh my gosh, yeah. I was going to say it was probably disappointing because now you're realizing it's all a fire sale when you're on there. No, I was wheeling and dealing. I was on there all day long. I was on there setting the prices, raising it, lowering it. Then I'd go out weeks ahead and be like, ooh, the Cubs are coming to town. By the way, I don't like the Cubs. I don't like Joe Maddon.

Thank goodness for them winning the World Series the year before because, ooh, that made me. Oh, yeah. That three-game series coming to town, and it was a weekend series. Oh, my gosh. Let me tell you something. Weekend prices, Mets prices, Cubs prices, another level. I only found out like a month left in the season that I had all these vouchers that I could use in addition to my tickets.

Had I known that, oh, I could have made a pretty penny. Speaking of the Pirates, on the Pirates season, on the Pirates series, that second weekend of the regular season, oh, I would have made all my money back. I'm telling you. You would have made your money back for the year or for the series? I damn near broke even, wheeling and dealing. And I went to like 20 plus games. Wow. I felt alive. Oh, I went to the All-Star game. Hell yeah, I went to the All-Star game. It would be funny if you didn't. Yeah. Oh, if I didn't go to the All-Star game.

That's what I did it for. That was the last of the good All-Star games. Not the game itself, even though it went to extra innings. That was the last of the good home run derbies and I stand by that comment. Aaron Judge, Marlins Park, that was a great home run derby.

Billy, I have rarely seen you, felt you, heard you more alive than when you make the word brother rhyme with utter, like a cow's utter, and you make it brother. I may have a verbal tick or something. You were feeling pretty good. I'm also sick under the weather. You are sick, but you were summoning the cow's *** of...

Hulk Hogan there. I feel like that if I arrived at the gates of hell, and I'm like, oh, no, this is terrible. And then they swung open, and they're like, 30 years of Pirates tickets. You have to go to all of the games. With Arp Riles. I'm like, I don't know if I could handle 30 years of Pirates baseball. Do me again. The most wonderful time of the year is just about here. Pfft.

We'll be right back.

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After one of wheeling and dealing, I talked to my family. I go, this was fun. I'm glad we had this moment. I cannot do this for another season. It's too much. I was at the hospital at the ER one day trying to figure out, I didn't want the tickets to go unused. So if I couldn't sell them, then I'm offering them to people because I didn't want them to go unused. It felt like a waste of money. So I'm in the ER like, hey, anyone want to go to the Marlins game today? Can't make it. Who wants to take these tickets?

Dude, I'm going to tell you, when I used to work for the Atlanta Hawks, we would get tickets in the lower bowl. Good-ass seats. And I couldn't give them away. It's like, hey, the Mavericks are coming to town. Dirk Nowitzki, they're one of the best teams in the league. Nope. The only tickets that were worth anything were Lakers, Shaq and Kobe, Sixers, Allen Iverson, Knicks, because it's Atlanta and they're a bunch of New York people. There has never been any sort of atmosphere in Phillips Arena ever.

Did you guys see, by the way, how Stu got sprung to life? Sprung to life when he could just shout into the microphone, you gotta force somebody's hand, leverage! Oh, man, I love that. I thought we were gonna follow that thread, to be honest. They're not offering enough! I mean, they're not! For...

It's one of one. This is not a one-of-one experience they're offering. I mean, 17 other thousand fans, 17,000 fans have Pirate season tickets. That's a lot. That seems like it's too many. 5,000 fans have Pirate season tickets.

30 years of season tickets behind home plate and we're laughing at it? This is a great deal. What are you guys talking about? There was a collectible shop that offered someone $250,000 for the card if they bring it in. I think that's less. That's less. That's less than 30 years of tickets, you guys. 30 years of Pirates tickets. It's first, it's like behind home plate. What if you're a Pirates fan? I read that this is like in the millions of value.

It is in the millions of value. Billy just got done saying it's in the millions of value. And I do think that I speak for the general entitlement of this show as a sports consuming commodity that we would arrive at your 30 years of tickets and be like, don't think I want them. Don't think, do I have to go to all the Pirates games? Because I think most people listening to this would say,

That they don't want to go to all the Pirates games. You don't want to go. A lot of those tickets are going to be resold to others because they just don't want to watch Pirates baseball. And you heard Billy stress, just selling the tickets is stressful. So you have to wait every year to sell them. It's not worth it. You're taking a loss on this. You're never going to get face value. Like right behind home plate, let's say they sell those tickets like $5,000 a game or something. You're obviously never going to get $5,000. Also, here's another thing. And here's kind of what I was running into.

it's not good for your health to go to 81 baseball games a year. Like it's just, and it's not because you could, it's not like a shot of the team or the product or whatever. Like imagine 81 days of stadium food. And then you're like a 10 game homestand. And it's like 10 straight days I'm going. And it's like, am I eating a hot dog? Am I eating nachos today? Like what am I eating? What am I drinking? Like I'm in heaven right now. Human body was not made to do this.

Guys, you're forgetting about the softball game with your friends, coached by Tony Womack and Ty Wigington. That changes things. I will side with Jeremy on this. Seats behind home plate in a major league ballpark are wonderful, magical things to have. But...

If you gave me the equivalent value and said to me, where would you like to spend this money? The very last thing on that list would be at Pirate Games for me. I'm saying if you give me the equivalent value, if you just tell me, because the card's worth this much. What they're telling you is if it's 30 years of tickets behind home plate, they're telling you that that's what the card is going to be worth. What if it's 30 years, two tickets behind home plate, but it's the Rays?

You don't know where you're going to be. Now I've arrived at the gates of heaven. I can watch 30 years of Rays baseball. All muted, though. If you don't find this card and you want to. Angels singing. If you don't find this card and you don't get 30 years of season tickets and you still want to go to a game, you know what you got to do? You download the Game Time app.

You download the GameTime app. You use code Dan, create an account. You get $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download the GameTime app today. I did it the other day. I bought my wife concert tickets for the holidays. By far the lowest price of all of them. GameTime, you got to go now. Jeremy, what time is it? GameTime? Chris, can you please dust off the back?

Back in my gay imaging. We have not done this in a long time here. We're about to do Back in my gay with Izzy Gutierrez. And now it is time to take a trip down memory lane. Here's your guy, Izzy Gutierrez with Back in my gay. Insults.

Or are they even insults? These days, guys who want to make a gay joke, and let's be real, it's always guys, they usually accidentally say something that could be seen as a euphemism for a gay act, and then make sure everyone recognizes said euphemism, which encourages people listening to stop and think about gay stuff for a second. Is that an insult?

Back in my day, it was easy to tell when I should be hurt. A professional athlete of note, out of pure hatred or maybe pure obliviousness, would bark out the hard F slur, get fined accordingly, and we'd all know who needs to take a visit to the HR department the next day. These days, Lomelo Ball is getting fined $100,000, the same amount Joel Embiid was fined for shoving a journalist in the locker room, and for what? A terrible joke?

Ball, the last name of someone who probably suffered a lifetime of horrible gay jokes, told a reporter on live television the reason they were successful defending Yanis Antetokounmpo was because, quote, "We loaded up. No homo."

Let's dissect that for a moment, shall we? Mere minutes after getting a one-point home win against a two-time MVP, Ball decided in a millisecond to introduce a sexual thought, while simultaneously announcing his own sexuality, just in case viewers at the moment thought to themselves, wait, is he still talking about basketball?

I mean, Nohomo is basically just the "that's what she said" joke with a touch of phobia. Or maybe we're all looking at it backward, and Nohomo is actually a heteromance coming out.

Either way, it's also pretty dated. More recently, pause has become the popular line to drop after any gay-sounding reference. I've always considered this one odd, too. It's effectively giving listeners license and a short amount of time to stop and think of homosexual acts. Okay, but an insult? Certainly not to me.

Then there's the AO community, which is effectively pause, but with a more defensive posture. - Ayo! - And this is certainly no offense to our pal Tony, and apparently a mean toot. Regular AOers. But this show already had a baby! Uh, hell yeah. And more recently, a hubba hubba, to acknowledge accidental sex references. The difference between those and AO is, the latter comes only after gay sounding references, and with the announcement, "Not in my backyard!"

Pause. Here's the thing. I don't even hate these jokes. But let's just acknowledge these lines for what they are. In the case of Ball, it was a lame joke with too harsh of a penalty. Other, more advanced attempts at comedy really haven't been that funny. I'd rather bring back gay euphemisms like "light in the loafers" or "a friend of Dorothy" What? Look it up. Than pretend to laugh or feign offense. What I'm more offended by is people who don't know when a joke is dead.

Perhaps the goal should be to load up

on some new jokes. I'm not even going to say. I'm Izzy Gutierrez, and that's how it was back in my day. All right, so I have a couple of questions for you. I knew you would. Follow-ups? Well, yeah, because he said too harsh, the penalty, $100,000 fine, which is the same that Embiid got for pushing a reporter. You thought the fine was too harsh. I did, and I also thought, well, by comparison, right? But Amin actually told me more information when I walked in this morning. So on Friday,

the episode of Basketball Illuminati that comes out today. We did a deep dive on the history of fines with no homo slash, yeah, with no homo in the NBA. So the last player fined for this was Cam Thomas. That was February of 2023. He got fined 40 grand for it. Before him, Niko Liokic, in November of 2018, 25 grand. But

But before him, Roy Hibbert 2013, 75 grand. Why the big difference between Roy Hibbert, 75 grand in 2013 and five years later, Nicola Oka down to 25? Roy Hibbert was fined by David Stern. How about the difference between Joakim Noah and Kobe and how they were fined for using a slur?

I mean, that's like I was mentioning in the thing. It's just the more obvious one. It's got more hatred behind it. It's not trying to drop a joke and have people laugh. And those are the more obvious like, hey, get that out of your vocabulary. Kobe got fined 100 grand 2011 for that. Right. And that was, I thought, worthy. This, I don't think, is the same thing. I think it's bad comedy.

I do miss, I wish it weren't pejorative, just the phrase light in the loafers. I was thinking the same thing. Also misleading, by the way. But wait, Izzy, quick question. What did you mean by friend of Dorothy? Isn't that you? Light in the loafers is misleading how?

I mean, do you need me to show you? Pause. That's the joke he was making. That's the joke the Tin Man was making. You didn't get it until Izzy repeated it. Because Izzy's funny and Jeremy isn't. So when Jeremy says something, I automatically... You didn't laugh. He made the joke dressed as the Tin Man. I know. He's in silver. He made the same joke. You refused to laugh at it, and then you laughed.

uproariously when Izzy did it. This is the uphill battle that Jeremy's had to fight all this time. And Jay Leno. That's why he went on strike. You think Jeremy has had the uphill battle? Yes, he has. Not Izzy. No. Jeremy. We welcome Izzy. We laugh at Izzy's jokes. Him? No. Look, man, I did theater. I got the same jokes Izzy got.

Season's greetings, podcast audience. It's Mike Ryan. And now is that time of year where you start hosting your family gatherings, be it Thanksgiving, be it the upcoming holiday season. You're going to have some folks in town. You're going to be doing some entertaining. So why don't you make your family time a Miller time? It's the first thing that I roll out when I got guests over at the house, an ice cold bucket filled with that beautiful white can. See, Miller time makes family time all the more special because for one thing,

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