Big Suey: Mike Schur Is Creating Monsters (Feat. Billy And The Onion)
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Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Billy, I am seeing here on the preview screen that our little show, one of the most popular in America, every time we land somewhere, I am always moved, Sugat, by people who fly in and drive in from a long way away, even if we're just at a local bar party. And we're doing another one of these for a game that we could turn this place into a real zoo. Jets...

And Dolphins. Yep. 1 o'clock Sunday, December 8th. I need the Dolphins to have that game matter. I need Aaron Rodgers to come into town. I need not so many quarterbacks to get hurt between now and then that Tim Boyle is starting for somebody. But

That game, Billy. Yes. That day, what are we doing and where are we doing it? Well, we've been doing a little God bless football country tour here. You know what I mean? We started in Chicago. We went out to Arizona. Now we'll be landing here at home in Miami. Dolphin Mall. Oh, man.

Vivo. You guys remember Vivo? Vivo was the site of a fun watch party we had last year where the Dolphins played the Titans. That ended up being a disastrous game that ended up really ruining the Dolphins' season, if we're going to be honest with you. It was so fun. It started off great. Dolphins seemed to have it

game in hand, and then all of a sudden they somehow magically blew that lead, and then we all thought, Will Levis, wow, he's going to be something in this league. And no, no, he was not. He's pretty bad. Not very good this year. So that game ended up being a disaster and a bad time had by all. It was fun for most of the night, but then a bad time. So we said, you know what? Let's have a bad time again. So come out here. We're going to have a bad time together. Dolphins versus Jets, December 8th, live from Vivo at Dolphin Mall.

Kick-off's at 1, but we're going to get there around noon. Go until about 5 or so. We're just going to kind of be enjoying football. We'll have the Dolphins game on, the Jets game on. And I would advise you, and this is not on the script here. This is not Sunday's service presented by Smirnoff. This is not on the script. But I will tell you this, because our partners at Smirnoff have been great. I will tell you this. December 8th,

to Sunday. I would get there a little bit early because you're headed into prime holiday shopping season. So if you want to find some parking, it's going to be a zoo generally just because of that time of year at Dolphin Mall. Oh, but no, the growing property of God Bless Football landing in your town after touring the country, Arizona and Chicago, landing closer to home to Billy Gill, the people that matter, the people show. These are Billy Gill's people.

We're not closer to home. My actual home. I grew up at Dolphin Mall. That's where I met my wife. My wife. Yeah, at Dolphin Mall. So the point is, get there early because if you want to sit down, you want to have a good spot at the bar, you want to have some, you know, a good vista of us. Like, there's a lot of bars and stuff around that area, and it's going to probably be crowded just because of the

that time of the year, you know? So come out and enjoy the Dolphins and the Jets with us. It'll be fun. Who knows who will be the Jets quarterback at that point in the season, if Aaron will be released, if he'll be on the team, if he'll be on IR. It could be a disaster. Hopefully it's a Dolphins win. It seems like we're trending in that direction, and we have a big prove-it game tonight, right? Or show-me-something game tonight, tomorrow? Tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow. You're tired. Get ahead of yourself. Which is it, Billy? Wait a minute, those are two different things.

things. What do you mean? Tonight or tomorrow? A prove-it game or a show-me game? Well, you said it was a show-me game. I said it was a show-me game, and then Billy guy looted it. A show-me game at the show-me state, some are saying. Billy downgraded it to prove-it game. Wisconsin. Show-me state's Missouri. Missouri. My first date with my wife was also at Dolphin Mall. Really? Really? At Bevo? Where'd you go? TGI Fridays, and then we saw the one-down starring Christopher Walker, Sean William Scott, and Dwayne the Rock. First date movie. You don't really talk a lot. Yeah. We were smooching. You talked before. This guy.

Baby! Was the movie always the plan, or was TGI Fridays went well? That's sizzling. Hey, you want to go up to Dolphin Cinema's upstairs? That's sizzling chicken and cheese. You get the mozzarella sticks up there? Oh, that's sizzling chicken and cheese. Dolphin Cinema's one of the first places that I can remember in this area that had full food that you could order. Incredible. You do a lap, you do a loser lap around the mall. Always. Yeah, you got to. Free samples at the food court. Was the bowling alley there at the time, or no? No, not that early on. It's changed names. There was a Bolero.

at one point in time. I don't know if it still is a bolero. I'm sure they searched me or not. Anyways, that's Sunday. It comes out sizzling like it's fajitas. Yeah. TGI Fridays, I heard a bunch of them were closing. I think that one closed. The one next to UM's campus closed. I can't believe that. Sad day. Really sad. Yeah, Fridays, Tuesdays. Don't name your restaurant after a day of the week because it's not going well.

seems to be a bit of a trend. Jets-Dolphins, December 8th, yeah. I want to hear more about both of these encounters. You guys are going, this is a homecoming for you guys. This is where love began for you guys, for both of you at Dolphin Mall. You're such a writer, right? What a romantic. I just got frisky inside a movie theater. Yeah,

but what about it? Watch on the run now. Just amongst us girls, what pace did we get to? Yeah, come on. A little handsy? I'm still waiting on that roller coaster at Dolphin Mall. They promised that the opening weekend. Still no roller coaster. What happened

to that other massive mall. Dolphin Mall, great, by the way. Come check it out. That other giant mall they were supposed to build that was supposed to combat Mall of the Americas in Minnesota that's supposed to be the biggest mall in the world right off of the turnpike. It was supposed to have a ski resort or something. Yeah, indoor skiing. What happened to that? They're still building it. Who would have thought, now that we're talking about Miami malls, and I know that's what everybody wants to talk about this time of year, who would have thought, huh? Miami International Mall, outliving Sunset Place. No one would have had

that. And when I tell you it's on its last legs, International Mall is just nothing. No, falsehoods. Dude, International Mall is thriving right now. Yeah, no, it's thriving. When was the last time you went? Like two weeks ago. I went two weeks ago too. Oh, it's great. Is there a radio? One day, I went sooner. Is there a radio shack there? Radio shack. Now get out of here.

Anyways, Danny, you been to International Mall in the past couple of things? I will answer your questions in a second. You guys did a deep dive on local malls here. I still haven't gotten an answer to my question, though. How did you meet your wife at Dolphin Mall? My wife? We worked together. And I don't know the backstory. Of what? Us working together? Of how it is that you came. That was a while later.

Was it really? December 8th. None of his personal business. Seriously. Sunday service presented by Smirnoff. Yeah. 1 p.m. kickoff. We'll be there at noon. Yeah, get there early, too. Be there like 11.30, 11 o'clock maybe. Good seats, yeah. Billy, that mall you were talking about, the new deadline, it's 2026. The one right off the turnpike that they've been promoting forever. I don't understand. It'll be right in time for the World Cup. 2026. I mean, get out of here. Look, guys, let me tell you something. I'm going to call shenanigans on these primers.

projected dates of construction projects because just now driving in, I see they finally put a shovel in the dirt on that soccer stadium next to the airport. We're finally moving dirt around there and that's supposed to open in like four months. So I don't think that we're going to meet that deadline. And 2026, there's no shot in hell because I've driven down the turnpike and I don't see the largest mall in the world anywhere around there. So they haven't started that yet either. Hmm.

We managed to go a week without talking about Inter-Miami's manager leaving. Yeah, they just hired a new one, too. Really? That happened pretty quickly and out of nowhere. And I haven't seen subsequent reporting after I heard personal reasons because not a lot of people had that coming. I mean, seemingly out of nowhere. There were some people plugged in in the know. You're one of them, aren't you, Mike? No, no, no. I was kind of giving up that beat. They're nothing.

my biggest fan anymore. But it was interesting. When I first heard Datta Martino was in the mix, everyone's like, wow, that's a perfect...

mesh with Messi because they know each other. But what I kept hearing was like, it's actually not that easy. There might actually be some conflict there. The fact that they've worked together in the past, that doesn't actually help this thing. Tata's a very prideful guy. And I think this is one of those situations where like, you want to do it your way. I had plenty of success doing it my way. You guys just don't.

do your thing. Are you interested at all, Stugatz, in this portion of it? For a while there, Mike was doing some insider reporting around that sport and obviously had very good sources in inner Miami because if you were listening to the show, it wasn't surprising to you that Messi ended up there.

when he says they're not the biggest fans of him. I haven't talked to him about this at all, but I'm assuming that that would be because you've been on here talking about how they price people out and gouge people and that you gave up your season tickets. I hadn't asked you about this, but I don't think we need to assume. I think that would be the reason. I would assume that, but I've also been more fair than them. I, I reconnected with some people over there and I,

I guess the way my perspective was they weren't that big of fans of mine. I know some people there aren't, but there are some people that I met over there that are totally fine with me. I think that I kind of feel, me personally, this is my personal feeling, I think Inter-Miami missed an opportunity here. Inter-Miami, from a stadium attendance standpoint, was doing very well pre-Messi. They had a packed house. It was a fun atmosphere, even though it was very far away from the base that they were trying to appeal to.

Which people have no idea how much further that is than it used to be because you'll see during Art Basel, we are wildly overcrowded down here. So for you to get to those games was going to take you two hours every day during that time. I was just going to say my car is well over the miles because of all the Inter-Miami games that I went to. It's 15 minutes away from Boca Raton. Okay.

It's a lot more convenient if you live in Boca to watch Inter Miami than if you are living in the populous center of Miami-Dade County like I am around Kendall. That's where I drive every day. It was tough. I just – look, they brought in a dude from Barcelona on the business ops. They have a certain way of doing things over there. It's a little different over here. I –

It felt a little less MLS-y, which actually appealed to me. I liked the direction that MLS was going in. But this is messy. This is a whole different ballgame. And by the way, on the field, even though they got eliminated in the first round by Brad Guzman, as Dan liked to call him,

Guzman. That's not his name? I made it Guzman. I put a Z in there. You're good. Well, the Z is always in there. You put an M in there. There's no way. But it's hard to argue with their path and they're monetizing it and they're getting sponsors and they're doing the thing. I did get a phone call for the first time since giving up my tickets from Inter-Miami, which I found interesting. Like, hey, you want to come back?

So I don't know. Read into that what you will. But they also told me I have a credit. I'm like, wait, credit? Wait, what? Where's my money? Huh? You got money? I got money? We'll see if it works out. I wholeheartedly want to come back and be a season ticket holder again once the stadium gets a little bit closer. Maybe the prices level off in a post-Messy world. I'm super excited about this Club World Cup that we have an opportunity to watch in Miami open up the whole tournament for. So, look, they got Messy.

They are building the stadium. It's not on time. Doubt them at your peril because they've proved a lot of people wrong. And I think on the whole, this has been very successful. And from a business investment, David Beckham made his money over several times over.

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Don Levitard. Go ahead, Billy. Ask him your question. Is gymnastics possibly corrupt? Oh, wow. Wow. Stugatz. I got some phlegm in my mouth. Yeah. It's okay. Yeah. Is gymnastics possibly corrupt? This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

Stugatz, you are seeing in the hat wear in the other room that Billy wears his allegiances on his head and the Marlins have fallen behind. Inter-Miami and University of Miami football and maybe University of Miami basketball? Like,

The dwindling fan base. I might be carried away. I think we blew that opportunity. During that final four run, it felt like that. It felt like the Marlins were like seventh place locally. And what I wanted to ask you, Billy, because I was surprised by this yesterday, although perhaps I shouldn't. Marlins are a year removed from the playoffs, I'll have you know.

The Dodgers now got Blake Snell. Blake Snell has been just really exceptional for a couple of years now. He was unhittable in San Diego. He wasn't a lot more hittable in San Francisco. And I can't believe that the Dodgers have

the money to just add someone casually like this that I think that guaranteed money the Dodgers just gave him represents more money than the Marlins owe everyone they've got to pay in guaranteed money because the Marlins have only one year contracts and Sandy they've got Sandy and just one year contracts so the Dodgers the champions have now added Blake Snell to

And you put such distance between yourself and the Marlins, Dugatz, that you make it impossible for the Marlins to compete. I mean, I've heard all our lives the idea of ruining baseball. But if you can get Mookie Betts and Freddie Freeman and Otani and you can...

You just add Blake Snell, right? Yeah, Blake Snell sucks. Because your pitching got hurt. Yeah, but he was terrible. He was terrible until August last year. I mean, he was 5-3 last year. Billy's right. He was not good until the second half. Guy didn't even have a contract until like two months into the season. No one wanted him. What's his spot on the rotation there?

He's number two or three, I think. In L.A.? In L.A., yeah. But, Billy, he does have a career 319 ERA. Yeah, great. They already had Glass now for $100 million that they took from Tampa. He also sucks, by the way. He's terrible. Never can stay healthy. Good luck with those Glass arms. Yeah, keep paying them away, losers. Snell in the second half after the All-Star break last year was 5-0 with a 1-4-5 ERA. A little suspicious. Oh!

Go on. I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying it's odd. Such a rough start. Some people will say, time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. You're good. Here's the thing. You guys get me comfortable to just start talking to you guys. It's just a bunch of us talking around each other. I'm just here comfortable just talking, just speculating.

And then I hear this sounder, and I know exactly what's to come. Now the gaggle out there, they're all going to cut this up, and they're going to put this out there. Gaggle. And then a Bob Costas of sorts is going to get mad at me, and then someone else is going to... The Dolphins fans are all going to be... And it's just...

We're just talking sports. We're just sitting here around this fireplace Thanksgiving week talking sports. And no one wants to talk sports. No one wants to be real. We're just talking. This isn't for the public. This isn't for the masses. I didn't want Blake Snell in the Marlins. I'm glad that they didn't get him. Also, I don't want Juan Soto, if I'm going to be honest with you, too much.

It's too much of a thing. Too much expectations. It's too big of a deal. Too much money. Not going to be worth it. Marlins don't need a Juan Soto. They don't need a Blake Snell type. We don't need that. We need grinders on this team. We need Jake Burgers. We need more Jake Burgers. Find me a team of a bunch of Jake Burgers. Is that a real person? No.

We did this yesterday with Baker. Tony, stop doing that to Berger. I want to hear about a team full of Jake Bergers. What are you doing here? He's one of their stars. He's one of their name players. But we did this with Baker Mayfield yesterday. A team full of Jake Bergers would be one of the saddest teams. No, that'd be a good team. I'd love that. Good team of grinders. Yeah. Good man, too. Family man. He sounds like a Husky guy. Jake Berger. He's a Husky guy. He's been on this show.

Not on the day I was on it. Tony, he's been like, he's a genuine Marlins star the last year. I could wake up next to Jake Berger. Easy, easy. And wouldn't know. I wish I could wake up next to Jake Berger. This is Berger, lucky woman. They had Bell and Berger on the corners. Those are the

glory days of the recent playoff Marlins. Yeah, well, he's gone. Bell's gone, unfortunately. But Berger's still here. He had a mustache for a little time. You'd like him. You guys kind of look similar, to be honest with you. I love their corner infielders. They just hit 450-foot bombs. Yeah, sometimes. Could use a couple more of them. Most of the time, they don't. Yeah, most of the time. More often than not, they don't, but sometimes. Yeah, but they

They had a Kenk softball team, and they're like, come on, Dodgers. What do you got? Sandy's coming back. We got a new manager, Clayton something. Well, Billy is right. Like a team full, a roster full of Jake Burgers would be exciting. It's like a roster full of John Crux. I mean, Cruxies. Rotation's a big one.

bit of a liability. You're right. No, the rotation will be fine. It's just health. Health is really the game. You did say before the reckless speculation sounder started that the second half of Blake's sound was suspicious. That was a direct quote. You said that. Then I gave you the 5-0. You said that. And then we played catch up on you speculating recklessly. You definitely said it. You did say it. And then you throw a plume of smoke in our face. You're just a bunch of words. No, just sounders start going out. Bingo!

What are you accusing Blake Snell of? You said suspicious. Talking about gaggle? You were accusing Blake Snell of something nobody's accused him of. I accused him of nothing. You said something was suspicious. It's odd that you have such a horrible first half and second half, all of a sudden you turn everything around. That's odd.

You could say he was due. I didn't accuse anyone of anything. I just said it's odd. You said it was suspicious. It is suspicious. You guys are putting a negative connotation on the word suspicious that doesn't exist. Just talking sports. Billy, it's negative. Suspicious is negative. Not always. Depends how you use it. Billy, you're odd, not suspicious. What? I'm odd?

I'm not odd. Not suspicious. Having or showing a cautious distrust of someone or something. That's a definition of it. You said suspicious. Having the belief or impression that someone is involved in an illegal or dishonest activity. That's another one. That's not how I use it. I think I use it as a past participle. Don't be suspicious. Don't be suspicious. Blake Snell said,

Signs for $182 million and was unhittable the second half of the season. It's a big signing. Baseball is talking about it today because the conversation is, God almighty, Dodgers, knock it off. You can't hog everybody. And you're the first I've heard...

Call it suspicious on a day of great celebration. I haven't heard anyone in the national media, not Kirchen. He doesn't say anything. When would Kirchen say that? Baseball is great. It's the best thing in the world. Well, Dan, it's a little suspicious. See, he said it. Cosigns.

Isn't it just baseball that he was Cy Young Award winner the year before and then has a bad half season because, as you said, nobody wanted him even though what he got was... It felt like what happened to him is he got Boris, right? Last offseason was really bad for free agency, obviously without the Shohei Otani of it. But no one was really signing big deals, so he wanted...

a deal that didn't exist. And then he kind of stayed put, and then he ended up signing a two-year deal with a one-year opt-out, and then got a deal finally, but after spring training. So the reason that he had a bad first half is because he didn't have spring training and didn't sign with anyone until the season started. So he was kind of delayed a little bit. His spring training essentially was the first half of the season, and then when he started pitching again, he came back to his Cy Young form.

That's what happened. If we're going to drop the charade and be honest. Long spring training. If we're going to tell the truth and we're not going to do show, that's what happened. It's not suspicious. It said he didn't have a spring training, Dan. And he's a good pitcher. And now the Dodgers gave a good pitcher a lot of money. And they're going to be a really good team. And I was going to say that baseball is dead and they can't kill it because it's already dead. But that's not the truth. The Dodgers are just really good and they have a lot of money. But I will say this. Hmm.

Mike Schur, if your children are Dodgers fans, you need to do a better job of raising them because you're creating monsters that just get whatever it is that they want and they think that every team can just pay every player. They're the new Yankees and you're creating monsters if they're in fact Dodgers fans. If not, then forgive me for speaking on your children. Mike Schur, you've been called out. I have not called him

And you are right. There were a lot of ifs there, Dan. You are absolutely right on everything you said. You are a truth teller and Mike Schur's kids and Los Angeles fans. You're so right about this. There's a generation of kids that are saying, yeah, we get Freddie Freeman when the Braves are better. Yeah, we get Shohei Otani when he plays for another team. Yeah, we get everybody. They can just be scrappy underdog Red Sox fans who don't just get everybody they want. Well, they may get Soto's fans.

Yeah, they're in it for Soto, too. By the way, the AL East, everyone's in it for Soto, and the Orioles are better than all of them. Because Toronto's in it, Boston's in it, the Yankees in it. So why are people so concerned about the Dodgers? Because the Dodgers have been doing this. They've been conducting business like this for over a decade now, and it's gotten them, what, two World Series? Well, because they have to overcome Dave Robertson. He's a terrible man. Right.

But, I mean, it doesn't guarantee you anything. It guarantees you're going to get to the postseason, but they would have gotten to the postseason without Blake Snell. I had a Yankees fan yesterday text me and say, I get it. I now understand why everybody hated Yankees fans and why everybody hated the Yankees all these years. I'm finally understanding what it's like to be on the other side of this. Stugatz, how do you say with a straight face, it doesn't guarantee you anything, it guarantees you get to the playoffs?

The Dodgers are going to get to the playoffs every single year. So it guarantees you that. I know, but once you get to the playoffs, it's a crap shoot. I don't care how good your team is. The Padres had the Dodgers on the ropes. They could have lost to the Padres at the time Freeman was all shot up on medication and said so. Shouldn't have been on the field. Betts was coming out of a slump. But we can't dispute this part of it, right? This part of it's weird.

The Yankees used to be the team every offseason for decades in their rivalry against the Dodgers that got all of the players they wanted. The fact that baseball now has a sport that is being won by a regional television contract that's better than the others, that allows them to get Blake Snell, they were going to... Aren't they in it for Soto, too? Like, they can get every...

And they could pay for everybody because Otani was just great business. They won the championship. Like now you just start mass collecting, go grab everybody. What they're doing with the pitching staff, Billy.

It doesn't matter that their pitching staff was hurt last year, that Kershaw was hurt. They're just going to keep getting giant expensive arms because it doesn't matter if they blow a $200 million contract here and there. Well, it's not just that. It's that Otani's contract was almost entirely deferred. Like they paid him like $2 million last year or something like that. So like the $70 million that he got, all of that money is...

spaced out over years. Like, so it's basically not a real contract for them at the moment. They're going to have to pay for it at some point in time. And it's going to be a hindrance, I would assume at some point in time. But again, like all the business that he brought in, it was more than they expected. They can afford everybody now if they wanted it.

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Chris Cody, what time is it? Game time.

Oh, I like that one. I don't know if I like that one. I do. Yes. Sensual Cody. Yes. I would like Sensual Cody to become a character that sells advertising for our show. Whispered, sensual. Well, that's a little too far. That's a bridge too far. Bridge too far. Bridge too far. Yeah. That's good. No, no. No, no. Not Joe Rose sound talking about blue cheese. Oh.

Big Juicy Cheeseburgers. Wait a minute. No, hold on. He'll find it. Give him a second. Hey, you want some fresh fish? Give him a second. This is Joe Rose doing a live spot talking about fresh fish and getting watery mouth as he did his live spot. It was sensual in nature. Mmm. Ah, that's good. Big Juicy Cheeseburgers, a Philly chicken. Mmm. Ah, that's good. Onions, mushrooms. Mmm.

Excuse me, can I have a side order of... Mmm. Can I get some blue cheese with it? I like to dip my thick... Mmm. In that blue cheese they have there. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Hey, oh, you want some pasta and seafood dishes with fresh fish? Mmm. It's good. So good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is nothing like a thick... Mmm.

That is what we paid millions of dollars for to get from ESPN. The big dog. That is the library of stuff that ESPN could not wrestle away from us. He was paid $25 for that.

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Eligibility restrictions apply. New customers only. Opt-in required. Casino credits are non-withdrawable and expire in 168 hours. Terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos. Don Levitard. That was a long story. Yeah. It's the only kind he tells. It was a short one for me. I tried to speed it up for you guys. You forgot about the League's Cup. Stugatz.

La Careta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlins celebration because it was Levada. Well, when Fidel died the first time. This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugats. Stugats.

Speaking of onions, I just saw that behind the bit as part of our 20-year anniversary celebration that includes Stugatz going to the top of the bestseller list, we have the memory here, Stugatz. And I just learned today an assortment of other details that I did not know about Billy and this onion and the subsequent hospitalization. Ha ha ha!

This is behind the bit. This is behind the bit. This is behind the bit. A segment where we highlight all these bits, the glory days, some might say. Not that it's not nice now. It's nice now, but it's...

Guillermo now has to do his challenge of eating a raw onion. Yeah, this isn't a good idea. And I didn't, like, now I'm starting to think maybe I should have thought of whether I'm allergic to onions and, like, looked into this and, like, maybe I'll die doing this. Where are you just going to start eating? Yeah, do I start? All right, go ahead. Let's hear the first crunch of this.

Go! Oh my God, that seems awful. That's a giant onion. I am going to vomit. Does the holding of a nose help? Nothing's helping. You seem to be doing

be doing okay though. You seem to be doing much better than I... Are you going to vomit on... Is there any chance that you vomit on your keyboard? It's possible. Oh, I mean he's eating it like an apple. And it's a raw onion and it's horrific. It's one of the worst things I've ever seen. We are in the equivalent of a hurricane shelter in here.

I feel like I'm watching Braveheart right now. Let me explain. If he throws up, we're all going to start throwing up because vomiting is contagious. Oh, my God. He's going to puke. He's going to puke. Yeah, of course he is. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, love is all I'm doing.

- So whose idea was it for Billy to eat the onion? - Yeah, this was a grid of death punishment and Billy had to eat that onion and it sucked for him because it kind of forced him to go to the hospital with kidney stones, actually. So yeah, that was not good for Billy. - Were you there for this moment? - Yeah, I was. I raised the sound fader up so we can get the sound of the actual bite. And yeah, I would have picked a smaller onion.

Personally, I would have picked the green onion, probably. First bite, it sounded, the sound still haunts me, but it sounded like a bite into a crisp apple. Does the holding of a nose help? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Does the holding of a nose help? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

He didn't have to pick that one. There were others to pick from. He ate an onion the way you would eat an apple. And so he took that was his first bite. And then he went to the hospital. He didn't finish the onion. And this part of the story, this was interesting to me. I learned on air, I'm going to say seven, eight, nine years later that that hospitalized him. I didn't know. I don't know whether they kept it from me on purpose.

but I did not know that that was something that could get you sick or that it did get him sick until many years later. Oh, the onion. The onion was a low point in my career and life. The onion was terrible.

The onion was a punishment that I had to do because I lost in the bucket of death and I selected to eat a raw onion. There was a double standard when it comes to grid of death and bucket of death punishments where some people were able to get away with kind of like half-hearted payoffs and others were not.

And I was not one of the people that was able to get away with half-hearted punishments. So I had to go and buy the onion myself. And I was trying to figure out the smallest onion that I could get to have this count. To avoid any controversy in, you know, the spirit of the rules, I went and got a legitimate onion, and I got a decent-sized onion. And I thought, "I'm just gonna power through this situation." - How awful was that?

Was Billy expecting it? Well, Billy knew what was going to happen. We had it

then learn the lesson that we now know post-onion that eating competition should probably not be a part of the grid of death. I myself had a very horrific experience with tripe. It just straight up tasted and smelled like poop. It was bad. We thought the onion, eating a raw onion would be fine. I didn't, I mean, I Googled it to see if it would be bad. It's natural. He legitimately threw up

I wasn't aware, and I imagine Billy still harbors some sort of resentment there. It wasn't my finest hour as producer. So I'm eating the onion. I'm powering through. I'm like halfway done or so. And what really made it terrible was Dan gagging in the other studio. So now the onion's hitting me. The fumes from the onion are in my face. I'm starting to tear up.

it's starting to collect in my mouth because I'm trying to eat it quickly, but I'm not really swallowing it as I'm doing it. And then the gagging sound over and over and over again ends up getting me sick. So he throws up, then I start throwing up, and then I didn't stop throwing up. What's not known entirely is

I ended up in the hospital as a result of the onion. He spent, like, I believe, three days in the hospital after doing that. But here's the thing. Like, Billy's always in the hospital. Like, that's what he does. He goes to doctors. But, I mean, this doesn't even sound right. Did you know that you could go to the hospital for eating onion? He didn't even eat the whole onion. He took, like, four bites. I don't believe that the onion is the reason for his hospitalization. You think it was something else? I don't know. You think Billy's been lying all these years? No, I just think that he had another ailment that, like, what...

Does it make any sense? What do you think? Do you think that three or four bites of an onion are... If I told you right now, absent this information, Stugat, somebody takes three or four bites out of an onion, are they going to be hospitalized? Your answer to that's going to be yes? No, it'd be no. That's fair. A lot of people say, how did eating an onion get you in the hospital? So much so that when I was in the hospital and they were trying to figure out what's wrong with me, I was telling them I've been throwing up all day. Like I had to eat an onion. Can eating an onion cause...

you to come to the hospital? Like, what was it? You know what, Billy, you lied. I don't believe him now. I think it was something else. I think Billy's blaming us. I think Billy might be trying to get us to feel guilty because he had to suffer something that wasn't our fault. Maybe Billy was just home and took three days off of work. And if he did...

I taught him well. A little bit of Stugatz in everybody. Dan will claim that he had no idea that I was in the hospital until just recently, which is nonsense. And if you look at the tapes and you go through the archives, you will find him making mentions of my hospitalization on the show, openly mocking an employee's hospitalization on the show.

Unbelievable. And I sent them a picture of my hospital bracelet. I'm like, I'm in the hospital. Like, this went terribly. This is a terrible idea. It was either Mike or Roy said it gave him the kidney stones. Do we think that's malarkey? Kidney stones? Do we think-- we think onions cause kidney stones. So the kidney stones were trying to get out, but the onion triggered it. There were no stones there. Then he ate three bites of an onion. All of a sudden, he's got kidney stones. What kind of quack is he seeing?

They were 100% caused by the onions. This is just a liability issue at this point, and I'm sure they've talked to lawyers or whoever in HR that has told them, like, deny, deny, deny. They know that they are damn well responsible for my hospitalization that day. I haven't had it confirmed to me through an independent health expert that it was the onion that sent him to the hospital, but it doesn't really matter. He ended up in the hospital afterwards.

You know, I ended up in the hospital after I went to Vegas. Could it have been the booze? Maybe. I put it on the gazpacho. So Dan and Stu emphatically do not believe that the onion sent Billy to the hospital. I'm not going to disclose what he was in the hospital for. I'll leave that up to Billy. But it's a bit of a stretch for the onion to...

to what I call wind up to affect what it maybe it jump started it. Maybe the visceral reaction he had to the onion brought about some other things in his body. Again, look, you're trying to trap me. I'm going to leave it at the apology. If I hospitalized them for a completely unrelated body part, fine. It was the onion. Sue me, but don't actually sue me.

because the statute of limitations is up while we're pretending no one knew i was in the hospital and that was just a bit and whatever i got stuck with the hospital bill i had to pay like 1500 out of pocket because i was hospitalized and i was just a lowly employee and i was like how do i even like tell someone like i got charged this for going to the hospital months later espn found out about it because they were our employers at the time they're like

yeah, you shouldn't have had to pay for that. I'm like, okay, cool. So are you guys going to cover that? Well, and I had to eat it. So I had to eat the onion and eat the hospital bill and the kidney stone. It was just a disaster. I hate the onion. Was Billy mad at you guys for this one? We don't know. I learned about it. If he was mad, he stewed in the resentment for seven or eight years without telling me.

Hello friends, this is Billy. If you find yourself in a situation at work or home and you're challenged to dare to eat an onion or you're just hungry, look around, there's nothing in the cupboard but a raw onion and you think, what's the worst that can happen? I'm here to tell you hospitalization is the worst that can happen. I was one of the lucky ones. I was just hospitalized for two days as a result of eating a raw onion.

And then my employers denied any involvement in this and had to pay out of pocket all the co-pays involved. So it's better to starve than to eat a raw onion. Oh! Oh!

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