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Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my dick-guzzling gigglers? That's after Easter Sunday.
Jesus just rose yesterday. But like April Fool's being today makes me feel like it was a bit. Like was Jesus coming back a bit? And people didn't realize it was April Fool's. Then they kept telling each generation that he really did it.
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When he was like, guys, it was a joke. Like, obviously. Or let's think of, like, Mary Magdalene being like, he's gone. He's gone. Like, all of her friends probably being like, okay, you're, like, being so dramatic now. You've got to let it go. He was never going to marry you. Or the fact that Mary was like, oh, I got pregnant by God. And it's like, you slept with everyone in the town? Wait, I saw a meme the other day, and it was like, imagine if you only knew Jesus professionally. And it said,
It's like this guy to his wife. He's like, honey, they crucified our carpenter. And he had beautiful hair. Was it Rory Scovel? Oh, my God. We're two seconds in and I can't breathe. It might have been Sarah Silverman. Oh, fuck. I forget. But they were just talking about it. I think it was Rory Scovel on HBO. He was talking about how, like, people making God hot. It's like...
So you want to fuck God? Like, why would you paint him hot? Like a zaddy? Like, why is God a zaddy? He's literally ripped. And it's like... Jesus too. Like, was Jesus hot? Jesus 2024 would 100% be wearing rings.
I feel like a lot of rings. He'd keep the long hair. He'd throw it up into a man bun. Like today's Jesus would be different. He'd be a fuck boy. Jesus is a fuck boy. Jesus was getting people. Well, Jesus. Actually, I'm going to be honest. I don't really know what happened. Okay. Some people say JVN looks like Jesus. Oh, yeah. Jesus is just JVN.
That one really got you. He parted the middle part C. Can I tell you something? I don't go anywhere without my Stanley anymore.
I actually have been drinking from my Stanley too, but only when my mom's around to make sure it gets clean. Because that shit cultivates. Well, here's the other thing. There's all these people being like, you got to wash it every single day. Yeah. Fuck no. Am I washing it every single day? I'm not drinking straight up water. I'm putting Mio drinks in Mio. I'm putting tea in it. I'm putting a Noom flavor thing. I'll put every fucking flavor. So then it starts to become- A juice. A juice or like a-
No, that's lemonade. It's a greenhouse of bacteria. And so then... It starts blending. I mix it. Yeah, it blends. I feel like there's two types of people. People who go to Panera. Yeah.
And they get their cup. Either you go, I'm like a Dr. Pepper girl or like I'm a lemonade girl. Or the ones that are go, I'm going to fuck my shit up right now and I'm going to go with vibes. And you're like, you start putting the lemonade and you go, but I need a little bit of Powerade. But what about a little spice? I feel like there's a moment in your youth where you learn that like, oh, you could do all of them and no one's going to yell at you.
And that sometimes there's a reason that they're not all together. Right. And that's called adversity and learning and growing. My favorite was then, like, giving it to someone and being like, try it and guess what I put in it. Like, guess what is in there. That's a really fun game. We should do that at parties. I was a little worried about this week because the only notes we had, I wrote, fuck April Fools, and Paige wrote, I miss Giggly this week. Yeah.
I have to say. Because sometimes during my week, something will happen, and I'll be like, where's my microphone? Like, I want to pod about this. I know. And, like, some weeks are harder than others. Well, when I feel like the gigglers haven't heard what's going on. Yeah, like, we haven't even talked about the girls getting punched in the head. Let's talk. Like, I...
Like, I... It literally rattled me for an entire week. I didn't say anything about it on social media because, like, I... Because you didn't get punched. I didn't get punched in the head. I didn't want to, again, make it about me. But I had so many things. I was, one, enraged. And, two, I will die for New York City. But this is the first time in 10 years that I felt scared walking somewhere, like, during the day. I was a little annoyed with New York City because New Yorkers, like...
especially since 9/11 growing up, you could say whatever you want about them, but when someone needs help, New Yorkers come to the rescue. You ever, someone kind of faints on a subway, "Who's the doctor?" That's how New Yorkers are. So I understand it must have been busy and stuff, but part of me is like, why did no one beat that guy's ass? I do have to say, there were so many funny quality TikToks that the girlies were making. They took their Stanley and they were like, "I'mma beat someone's ass." I do have to say, I woke up and I was not scared.
Yeah. I said, I've been waiting my whole life to have a physical altercation with a man. And I'm ready. You like wish that he would. I wish you fucking would. Yeah. 1-800-TRY-ME. I saw so many TikToks of girls being like, giving like their subway route to get to them. To like punch them in the head. Not these like young, like 20 year old girls in the West Village. Wait, so girls are sacrificing themselves? Yeah. They're like, why don't you come here? Yeah.
- She's like, "What tribe are you in?" - One of the girls was coming to Park Slope, Brooklyn, and I was like, "Oh my God, Hannah lives there?" If you had to pick, if a situation happened, you would say you're fight, not flight. - When it comes to a man, I'm fight. When a girl, I say, "You're having a hard day, I'm leaving." I said, "You work it out with yourself." - I feel like there's gotta be a moment of shock first.
I was getting upset because they were gaslighting that girls were like... No. The New York Times. The New York fucking Times was like, girls who are distracted on their phones getting punched. First of all, these girls are working. Something's going on. These girls are social media managers, influencers. They're fucking... They're working. They're doctors working on their phone, responding to emails. No, the headline was like, are women...
it didn't say the word hysterical, but it might as well have. Inducing anxiety on the internet. And it was like, no, men are punching them in the head. It's like women are gossiping about possible men like punching them because they're on their phones. And it's like, no, women are spreading awareness. Also, the women haven't done shit. The men have
have gone rogue and are punching women. And then I thought about this even deeper. The New York Times is on my list. They're on my list. By New York Times, we actually mean New York Times. We don't mean TikTok. No, we mean the literal New York Times. The literal New York Times for the first time ever. The publication. Were the men in New York kind of keeping an eye out, though? Like, okay, if someone's going to punch a girl, like, I'll defend them. We're happening, for sure. Chris, your hair is...
Giving such a quaff today and such volume. That's high respect. Yeah, I appreciate that. You're welcome. I actually made Craig walk me to Amazon the other day. You know what else is so crazy to think about? If the rules were reversed and I walked by a woman punching a guy in the head, I'd be like, he definitely did it. What did he do? He definitely did it. I'll be like, tag me and tag me and I start fucking. And another thing. No.
Imagine there was a woman going around punching men in the city. People would be like... It'd be our Lord and Savior. Someone would be like, where are Paige and Hannah at this exact moment? Someone would be like, oh, Paige finally snapped. Does she have very long fingers? If you hear that men in New York City are getting poked in the eye...
It was me. Actually, I do have to say, I was going through a particular hard time with men. And I was walking around the city with Ashley Hesseltine, who's a tall, very independent, strong woman. And I was with her. And it was dark. We were leaving a comedy club. And there were these two really drunk guys behind us. And they were kind of like saying stuff to us. Yeah. And we both got a little uncomfortable. I go, Ashley? She's like, should we like...
What should we do? And I was like, I fucking dare them. Yeah. I fucking dare them. And she was like, who are you right now? And I go, fucking, I will defend you. I said, I want to punch a frat guy in the face for so fucking long. Give me an excuse. Give me a reason. I fucking dare. Like, you know the motherly strength of like, if you're, that's how I felt with Ashley. I was like, if he fucking does one thing, I'm going to do it.
I don't know where the power's gonna come, but I'm gonna do the, I'm gonna stab him in the eye. I'm gonna kick him in the balls. I'm gonna kick him in the shin. See, when it comes to physicality, I feel like I get nervous, but when it comes to, like, fighting, like, if someone's behind a counter, you're great. Then I can verbally fight. See, I'm only physical. Yeah. I do have to say I've never gotten in one physical altercation in my life.
But I like to say it's because I think people are like, she's fucking sturdy, like strong. Like no one in school was fucking with me because they could tell that I... I've also never been in a physical altercation. I've been hit, but I've never done anything back. But we both have brothers. Yeah, and that's like... But this is the thing. I understand men are stronger. I play dirty.
Same. I play dirty. I'll pretend I'm dead. No, I'm... Then I'll slip on... I'm slimy. I'm squirrely. Like, I'll get out of there. I'll be like, ow, ow, that was too much. And then I'll jump in here. Yeah, I'm a younger sister. I'm literally trained to get out of the most insane maneuvers, yell for my mom, and walk away. Like, that's my... Do you know when you just, like, get in a crouch position where they can't really get you, and then they finally leave, and then you jump? Yeah. Or you do the fake punch. You, like, fake punch them. I've never...
Okay, you and Daniel had like a really intense childhood. Gary would just honestly beat me so badly that I couldn't even like reach him. Like there was one time where he beat me so badly. My mom legit thought I had a concussion. Like he just beat me with a pillow for like 20 minutes straight. And I just laid there and I was like, this is how I go, you know?
It was right when The Rock became famous and guess who knew all the moves? My brother. So my brother is younger than me and I think something happened where he started to go through puberty and he decided he wanted to learn MMA.
Okay. They all... Every guy has to go through an MMA phase. It's like if you just told your mom what was bothering you at that age, she probably could have helped. You don't have to get into a cage. The thing Ben will do to not go to therapy. Now it's insanity. Actually, a really interesting parenting lesson that my mom did. My brother was 17 years old. He's now like...
He's a businessman, successful grown adult. He's a father. 17 years old. He goes, mom, I want to get a tattoo of like Chinese characters on my neck. Okay. So that's every mom's nightmare. Yeah. A neck tattoo of a language you don't speak. Yeah. And, but instead of being like, no, she goes, you know what? Let's just wait, let's wait till you're 18 and we'll talk about it. And by the time. I thought she was going to say, you know what? I'll get one too. I think she's going to say,
Because that would have been a great... Well, nowadays they have the ones that fade, which is like I recommend. But like think about that time of his life. That would have been so fucking cool. You could get a corporate job. It would have been cool for all three seconds. Chris, did you want one of those too? Like Chinese letters on my neck? Or just a tattoo in general. Oh, kind of. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have one picked out. Yeah. That's all we're going to say. No matter what he said, I wanted to do that.
Daniel just like didn't get it. But yeah, he was doing this Taekwondo shit. Yeah. And MMA and stuff. And he would have me like fight him. Like show him. Show me what he learned in class. But I would like grab his hand. He'd be like, no, you have to grab it this way. Because it was like certain moves. And I'm like, you already lost. Like I'm not grabbing your hand that way. You're going to be on the subway and be like, sir, actually, if you could grab the other way, that's how I know my move.
He's like, can you move your arm across? Because that's how I flip you. But then he learned how to, like, make people, like, he could, like, knock you out by, like, pressing a certain thing in your neck or something. And that's when I was like, okay, maybe I should be nicer to him. I feel like in that situation, I legitimately would be, like, Cher from Clueless. Like, if I'm in a good outfit, I'd be like, are you fucking kidding? Like, I'm not getting messy for your childish bullshit. But also...
I do want to say, like, in all seriousness, the girls that got punched in the head, like, I would throw myself in front of a bus for you. Like, if I was there. Yeah, we love you so much. It is, like, serious trauma. Like, walking outside and being assaulted like that. No, it is scary. Like, it's something, like, they're going to have to. Like, I definitely looked around a lot more in the past couple of days, like, walking. But I will say, too, I never walk with headphones on. Like, I've never done that before.
Which brings me actually to a great segue. I have a question for you. And no shade, no hate. I don't have AirPods. Is that what you're asking? No, but let's absolutely circle back to that because that's insane. Continue. That's insane. When someone says, when an artist, a musical artist puts out their art, an album, if you will,
When someone says to you, oh my God, have you listened to the new so-and-so album? What's your answer? Okay, so I've never ever done this in my life until Ariana Grande because I had a six-hour drive to West Virginia. That was the only time. Everyone who's listened to the Beyonce album, I want to. Totally. But things come up. Right. And by things, I mean not a lot of things, but like... And also, what am I just putting it on my Spotify? I'm listening. I'm not cleaning. I'm listening.
No, I'm not going about my day. That's exactly what happened. I go, I want to listen to it. What can I do while listening to it? I go, well, I can't watch TV. So I guess I can't listen to it. Because that's my only thing too. I'm not watching TV on mute. But here's another thing that's also a little bit weird, I think, about me that the average person would also think. I'm not a huge music person. Yeah. Like in general. Yeah. Like I...
Like, I only knew music, one, because I had an older brother, and two, like, I lived in the suburbs. So, like, what was on the radio, I knew. But, like, I don't—I never go to Spotify. Like, I never listen to music, I feel like. What about, like, when you're getting ready? No, I'm usually, like, on the phone with someone or, like— Who? My mom. Oh.
No, you know what? I realized in my therapy that like ice is my therapy. But no, certain music really does help you get out of your own head where when I wake up in the hotel room at like 7 p.m. and I have a show at 8 p.m. Yeah. I need a blast like rap and it puts me in a new mindset or like
It is fun to pretend you're in a movie when you're walking and you put something on and you think you're in that scene where it's like, she finally figured out her life. I feel like that's a form of mental illness. True. No, for sure. When you're watching condensation drip out the window and you're just like, and that's
life and she knows what's going on now. She doesn't care about her past. I would say the only time I really listen to a song. I don't listen to sad songs. I think people who listen to sad songs are crazy. I would say maybe when I'm in the shower, I'll turn on Spotify and like put it in my sink. But like that's what? 15 minutes? Do you know people who listen to sad songs because they want to be sad? I think that's crazy. I've done that a few times. But like aren't you sad already? Why do you want to be more sad? Yeah, just because like the drama, you know?
It's like, maybe you'll get it all out. See, that's worse than having me skipping on the street to, like, a theme song. But I had a friend a couple years ago, I would say maybe, like, four years ago now, where he would call me to, like, ask me a specific question or, like...
Like there was a reason he was calling me. It wasn't just like shoot the shit. And every so often I'd be like, are you in the shower? And he'd be like, yeah, this is where I get like a lot of my calls done. And I would be like, okay, that's insane. Like I'm hanging up now. I do have to say I do a lot when I'm on the toilet.
I now exclusively take shower phone calls. Like, if I know that there's someone that I have to talk to them for, like, a solid 20 minutes or 30 minutes, I'll do it in the shower. Is it, like, important calls? No, no, not like business. But, like, if I, like, have to tell my mom something and I'm getting ready to go somewhere. Well, what if you accidentally get slippery and you drop your phone? I have an Octobody right on the wall. Do you do FaceTime? No, sometimes. It depends who you are.
It depends who you're talking to. Well, that definitely depends on who I'm talking to. This is the thing. I want... The shower for me is peace. Yeah. It's like no one can get to me unless if someone breaks in and that's... I'm like, why don't you do a Zoom in there? Why don't you maximize your day? Are you ever... Well, you're always alone. That seemed loaded. It seemed loaded and pointed. Okay? Right? To me. How come whenever... Well, you're miserable. So you'll kind of...
You're a loner and no one likes you, so you'll relate to this. Whenever I'm alone, which is not often, I always think I'm going to get punched in the shower. Oh, really? The showers where they'll get me. Like, if someone's been hiding in my apartment all day, they're going to come out when I get in the shower. And you're a nighttime shower. And I'm a nighttime shower girl, so it's dark. So I will go and make sure my door is locked before getting in the shower. Yeah. You know what's something...
Like, okay, now that like I go down to the suburbs or like I was just home and people will always make the argument of like the city is so scary. That's so terrifying. And no one ever does the opposite of that.
Are you kidding? The suburbs are one of the scariest places. The crickets? I'm home alone at Craig's house. I'm like, but no one would hear me scream. That's the thing. When you're in New York, there's people everywhere. There's police everywhere. Everyone is on call. Yeah, some people do get hit every now and then. Like if someone broke into my apartment, realistically, it's two feet big. Where are you going to go? I can get out the door. Also, how are they going to escape? You have to wait for the elevator. No way.
No, literally. You're like, can you get lobby for me? No, elevators are never working. Certainly not going to work for my murderer. You know? No, I always get scared that, like, a crazy drunk lumberjack is just going to, like, be running around the suburbs. I'm like, I... Oh, my God. I'm so scared of, like, vast plains. Just, like, I don't know what a plain... Like, a vast plain. Oh, I hate that. No, that's scary. When you're driving and you're like, if my car went down, like, we'd get...
It's like The Hills Have Eyes. Have you seen The Hills Have Eyes? No, but I can surmise. And it's just, it's scary. The Hills Have Eyes actually was the scariest thing that ever happened to me. It's a movie where, like, I guess there was some kind of Chernobyl shit that happened. Okay. So there were, like, creatures living in the hills that, like, had some kind of fucked up eyes, I guess. They were just, like, creatures. Suburban moms who go to parties.
Because that's a really scary species. Also, when you watch all these murder things, most of them are in the suburbs. 90% of them. My biggest worry right now is that my neighbors know I smoke weed because they can smell it. And when I walk out of my apartment, I'm like, prove it. You know, bitch? Prove it's coming from this unit. But I know that if someone was killing me inside my apartment and I ran out there...
They'd be able to help me. You know, like... Someone would hear. Someone would hear. I mean, Jeffrey Dahmer did kill, like, a lot of people in his apartment in Milwaukee and no one knew for a while. But they got him eventually. Right. Yeah. And the silver lining. Anyway, speaking of AirPods... Wait. Yeah, let's circle back. Okay, so, like, I'm... I don't know what's wrong with me, but, like, I don't trust them.
Because... In what capacity? Like, do you think the government's, like, in your brain? No, not at all. Do you know, like, Wi-Fi doesn't really work? Yeah. So I'm, like, I'm not going to risk... Bluetooth, like, doesn't work a lot. So I'm, like, I just don't believe it works. Wait. You know when you're... Someone sits next to you and it tries to connect to your phone and you're, like, yeah, this thing clearly doesn't fucking work. Like, figure it out. You're...
No, I don't think it works. I've never tried it, but I don't think it works. And then it's a tic-tac. I'm going to lose it. I think it's, I know I'm going to lose it. I know I'm going to like, it's going to fall in the sink. I know something bad is going to happen. So I'm like, I'd rather save my money. Also like, so what are you, what are you, what's your headphone of choice?
So I collect Delta headphones. So I have like hundreds of Delta headphones. No, no, no, no, no. Like hundreds. And then I just tuck them away. They have the, with the string? Yeah. Yeah.
But it doesn't connect to your phone, though. So what are you using it with? Your iPad? I'm a speaker girl. I'm a speaker girl in the house. Everyone's on speaker. When you get on a plane, you put the Delta headphones in your ears and you connect it to what? The TV. The Delta TV. And if there's no TV, we're sleeping. No headphones in? No. Because I sleep.
The second one, I'm in a moving vehicle. I'm sleeping. This is so... This is so... And then when I'm walking around New York, I'm fighting for my life, trying not to get punched. So, like, there's no... First of all, Bluetooth works. It works 90% of the time, if not every time. 90% is not for me. I couldn't tell you the last... 90% is not enough. I couldn't tell you the last time my Bluetooth didn't connect. But do you ever feel like it's my connect to the wrong person? You'd be like, hello? Hello?
- Never, not one time. - Not one time has there been a man just like, "Hey." - You know when the radio station's a little off, it's just an alien, they're like, "Greetings, earthlings." - It's like, "Hey, I'm in 13C if you wanna come back here." No, Bluetooth works. Secondly-- - Do you have to charge it? - Yeah, that's so much admin. - When do you charge it? - When you charge your phone.
I barely charge my phone. Okay, but when you get on a plane also, like there's technology now that like you never have to hear the sound of an airplane ever again. Like the noise canceling is game changing. Sometimes when I fall asleep, I'm not listening to anything. I need noise to quiet my own thoughts. I don't want to be sitting in silence. That's the scariest thing you've ever said to me. So you get on a plane all the time.
Most of the time. Raw dog. Raw dog. Wait for her, or he. To walk around and say, does anyone need headphones? Does anyone need headphones? And I always go, yep. And then I say thank you. Because regardless, I like free shit. I'm going to take it. I'm going to take it. The amount of Delta headphones I have in my bag is crazy. This is a wild revelation. And then I love a fresh new pair. You pull it out. I think you're single-handedly keeping the Delta headphones.
Headphones alive. Because every time she walks by and says headphones, headphones, in my head I always think who the fuck is
Without headphones. I can see one or two times, oh, I forgot my headphones. But there will be multiple people raising their hands. Do the AirPods connect to the Delta thing? Well, there's an attachment you can buy. It's called an AirFly. I have it. And you plug it into the TV. Again, it's like capitalism wins again. Like, how many attachments do I have to get when I, like... You know what happened? I have a little pouch that has all my, like, headphones. You love a pouch. I love a fucking pouch. You love a pouch.
I love a fucking pouch. When she came with her tanning stuff, she brought it in a pouch. The cutest little pink pouch, a little leopard. I own 8,000 pouches. You'll never throw away a pouch. I'll never throw it away. Actually, my mom was like that, too. She's like, why are you throwing that pouch away? We could use it. And I go, what are we using this pouch for? You can always use whatever you wear a pouch. It's true. And then she'll put all this stuff in pouches and put it, and then I take it all out, and I'm like, why did you put it in all these pouches? Well, all my pouches are in a pouch that lives in one big pouch. That's how you...
Control that. I think you have a pouch problem. A pouch addiction. But you know what it is? Now I can never look at a pouch again. When the AirPods first came out, their PR wasn't good. It was like people were dicks. You're holding it against...
AirPods came out 20 years ago. No, when they first came out and like guys were walking around with their AirPods and they were like yelling with their AirPods. Everyone was like, okay, you're a fucking loser. Like, oh, you have AirPods. Like, what are you selling stocks 24-7? Chill out. Okay. And I think I just never got past that. I was like, I'm not a dick. I don't wear AirPods. And then like one day I looked around and everyone was wearing AirPods. I think I joked with one of my friends. It was like AirPods are for fucking dicks.
And then, like, I'm still in the corner joking about it when everyone's like, no, we all use AirPods. I thought AirPods was going to be, like, threads on Instagram. Yeah, you thought they were going to die down. Yeah, I thought it was, like, a thing, and then we were going to be like, okay, we all lost it. How many have you lost? I think I'm on my third pair of AirPods. But I've had an iPhone for 20 years. I would say that it's probably not great for the environment that I have 4,000 Delta headphones. And also, they're all...
They're all in a knot. I can't believe you haven't got 100%. It's one huge knot. You've never used one twice. You can't use it again. Once you put it in, it just dies. How does it do the most intense Boy Scout knot that you've ever witnessed just by me putting it in my back? What is the science behind that? No, that's a black hole. That's a quantum theory. But you see when we do the podcast over Zoom, you always see...
And that's a Delta. Yeah. I actually, I'll do interviews, like, promoting comedy, like live TV. With your Delta headphones. Wait, have they been laughing? No, because people probably don't know, but I can't believe you don't have, like, a good pair of, like, headphones, not AirPods. It's so big. Like, I just don't want to bring it. Like, it's like an umbrella. Like, why? It's like so much. Dude, I literally couldn't get more compact.
compact. But also, I feel like it's a little like when you have big headphones, it's like, okay. It's like when someone sneezes loud, you're like, how much attention do you need? You know? Like, calm down. And then you can tell it's for the outfit. Wait. Like, it's... I'm on two days. Yeah, colors. Like, people are like...
Hanna, I have the green big ones because I was like, they're so pretty. And I saw all these fashion girlies having them and then like matching into their green fucking cute. Capitalism ones again. And then. Are they Bluetooth?
Yes, every headphone is Bluetooth. It's 2024. Every headphone is a Bluetooth. When COVID hit, I did Watch What Happens Live. Yeah, and you swore off all headphones. And someone had Bluetooth and Andy was like, oh, like the Bluetooth, like you don't...
good with the Bluetooth. Okay, but yeah, because that's a computer onto a television show that they're trying to rework it. Not you listening to your TikToks on an airplane. You can watch TikToks on airplanes? I'm just kidding. I was like, wait, do you never connect to the Wi-Fi? I recently learned that you could text, which I don't like. Because that was
That was the one time when I'm like, I'm on an airplane. Like, sorry. And then Des was like, connect to the wife. I go, what? And then I was like, I'm on a plane. I can't text. I remember. Yes. I know like the first time that happened to me, I was flying to LA and I was like, good. No one can talk to me for like six hours. Someone was like, okay, cool. So like, you'll do this while you're on your flight. And I'm like, no, the act is I'm on my flight. That's the best part about flights is you don't feel guilty because you're like, I'm literally traveling through there. Yeah. But,
You know when you would land and you'd be like, let's see all the people who've been texting me. That was a great feeling. And then it's literally just your mom. Yeah, like, okay, tracking you. And she's like, did you make it? Did you land? Text me when you land. I'm like, oh my God. You go to Instagram, zero messages. You're like, okay. No, but now you can just see it. I will say, though, the past couple of times I've flown Delta, I've had no Wi-Fi for like over six hour flights. Yeah, sometimes they're just like, oopsie.
No, they're literally, like, our bad. Also, I had a six-hour flight, humble brag, and I couldn't, like, change the screen. And you feel like a dick if you're like, hey, my screen's not working. Yeah. Because they're like, you're flying. They're like, well, we have to shut down everyone else's screen just to make yours work. I do have to say, there was this one person that was like, my chair is, like, a little, like...
Yeah. Or something like with the chair. But like nothing. I think it just like moved a little bit. And I remember thinking like this is not going to be good. Yeah. And I look at the person next to me and they look at me and I just was like I don't think this is going to be okay. But I feel like we had to deplane. Stop. We had to deplane because they had to get a mechanic in to like tighten the thing. And we were like three hours late because this one person was like her chair was clicking a little. I don't want her to be uncomfortable but like instead be like hey can you just give me a reason.
a refund for this flight but like we'll go that happened to me it was a over like four hour flight yeah my seat never went back yeah we're like up in the air and the flight attendants were like we have nothing for you like we can't do anything and i was just like okay and then when i landed i called and i was like give me that fucking money back like yeah i'm not sitting there and paying that some people don't they think going back is rude if you put your seat wait did we did you say that
I didn't say that, but I've seen that, that people think it's rude. But, like, the whole point is we all go back. If this ego's back, if it's made to go back, I'm going back. Also, like, if you go back when I go back, everyone's happy. Right. And even if you don't go back, I don't care because I'm going back. Well, also, like, I consider myself an empath, and I've never once thought about how the person was feeling behind me when I went back. No, because when the person in front of me goes back, I go, oh, and we're going back. I feel like we're all... Yeah, you go back, I go back, we're all...
Enjoying life together. We're all going back. We're not going to sit up straight like a nerd. I have a question. Do you know that when, and it's different on all these different flights, but- And it's different for everyone. It's different for everyone. No one's right or wrong. You know when the window is like, it's not your window. Yes. And it's not their window. It's like an in-between window, but no one's putting it down. It's an uncomfy window. Do you reach in front-
And push it down. I have before. Because I believe in certain etiquette on flights in terms of the windows. Yeah. Like if it's before noon, put that fucking window down. Yes. Put it down. It's too bright. Yes. And so if we're taking off, and sometimes they want them all down. Also, if you are going to wake someone up when you're like about to land in New York City because you're going to tell them you want to see the view, grow up.
Yeah. Grow the fuck up. And if I'm in the window, don't even look at it because I own it.
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Oh my god, Sheena just texted me. Wait, it's so funny because... Let's see what she said. What do you think she said? I feel like she's always in town watching Raven's Live doing like the most fun stuff. Yeah, she was like, she's definitely like, hey guys, I'm in town. She didn't text me.
I think she knows that I'm with you. Hey, she's definitely like, hey, Hannah, I'm in town. Yeah, she's like, I'm— Do you want to get together? I'm doing X, Y, and Z. She's always doing— She's always doing something. Like an event. And as someone who just spent four days with a toddler, Lois, who's the greatest, I don't know how people do it. Yeah. Yeah. Give us a little insight. She's the cutest. What time was Lois getting up? What's her, like—what's her sketch? So she was having a little time change from Indiana, but, like, she goes to bed kind of late. Like—
She's a party animal. She's a creative. Like 8.39. I get all my best work done. All I know is the only person that can wake me up in the morning is Lois. Yeah. And she walks in and her hair is always like, you know, when you wake up from a nap, it's like, and she looks at me and she calls me, Henny. Oh, that's so cute. Henny. And you went to all, I saw you at museums. I went to museums. I went to, um...
I went to museums. What did we do? Like, playing on the playground. A lot of playing. Yeah. When she was leaving, I was like, I didn't want to get emotional. Good riddance Lois. No, I didn't want to get emotional because I was going to miss her. Like, she's the cutest thing ever. Me, good riddance Lois. Guess if I got to be her. Either I'm going to be like, I'm exhausted. She's going to leave, but obviously I don't want to make it a thing because I don't want her to be traumatized because she still is. Right. It's crazy to see a thing that isn't traumatized. I'm like, I don't want to cause trauma for her. Yeah. So I was like, don't make eye contact. Like, give her a little wave. She doesn't know. Yeah.
And she starts walking because everyone's leaving to go to the elevator. She loves the, um, Ever Later. Mm-hmm. And then she comes back and looks at me and I said, bye. And then she runs up to me and she goes, honey, come. And I said, well, now I'm trying to, I didn't say my name in front of them. No, that. She's like, come. You immediately go third person. Honey's doing money for this family. And by this family, I mean butter. I don't know where my husband is. You're like, Hannah, Hannah can't do another museum. No.
Hannah is museum bound. Hannah needs to sleep and Hannah needs to get her life back. So it made you more like, oh my God, I could do this. She leaves and Des was like, do you really want that? It's fucking exhausting.
But it's funny because then I have Nick Viall content like all over my page for some reason because Nick had a kid. Yeah. I feel like there needs to be a study for like all new dads who are like, who are like, no one's going to ever hurt her. And it's like, you know what? We're someone's daughter too.
I'm also someone's daughter. And my dad looked at me one day and said, no one's going to hurt her. And guess what? Just burnt. No, Nick is actually becoming the ultimate daddy influencer. And he, I don't know what he said, but he was like, you wake up and like, you have a purpose. And I was like, I have a purpose. And that spoke to you? No. Oh, like having a kid. That's so funny.
I'm trying to make funny jokes about stupid things. I need to think of jokes. That is my purpose. Yeah. The whole purpose of keeping something alive seems a little dramatic. Yeah. And then he was like, you know, for all the guys out there who are partying in their early 20s, being a dad is actually pretty cool. And I was like, what kind of riddle is he trying to confuse people? This is the thing.
If you have it, you'll figure it out. Right. If you don't have it, the question is, like, are you going to miss it? I do. Are you always going to be like, what if I had kids? Yeah. Yeah. Like, am I even going to travel that much? Do I need an advocate because I want to travel? Like, I don't really, like, I travel to shows, but, like, I'm not, like, going to the Maldives all the time. I think it, here's the thing for us. I think that what it is deep down, we. Are selfish. Yeah.
Love ourselves. No one loves me and you more than me and you. Yeah. Like, I don't think... Like, our moms come close, but, like... Like...
No, I know. But like I love myself. Yeah. My mom, for example, was like decided wanted to go into medicine. Yeah. Was like in hospitals and was like, you know what? This isn't for me. And she didn't like the vibes and then was like changing careers and was like, we could have a kid right now. There can be a part of our life when something happens that we're like, maybe this is actually the perfect time for a kid. Yeah. But then people have kids in very not ideal times. They make it work.
Right. This is the thing, though. You know what it is. I think me and you should freeze our eggs this summer. I've been thinking about it, and I've been talking to my mom about it, and she said, well, why don't you do it with Hannah? Why don't I envision you just taking out, like, your makeup fridge? And, like, okay, I have one girl here, two girls here. You put your serums, your eggs, your embryos. No, I feel like there was a moment in time where I thought, like, you took your eggs with you. Like, you froze your eggs, but, like, you put them in your own...
Like, you got them. Let's be honest. No one actually knows how to freeze your eggs. No. Even the girls who are doing it, they're explaining it. I'm like, you're not. You don't know how to freeze your eggs. No, but I think freezing your eggs is, like, very normal now. But this is the thing. Who decided that just because we can have kids is what we should do? Like, what if the...
life is actually happier without kids, but everyone is just trained for evolutionary purposes to make kids. And it's a life hack to actually not have kids. And you can just visit your aunt. This is one of a struggle that we're different in. I know for sure I want to have kids, but also I'm over here like...
I don't know if I want to like get married ever. Yeah, you can't even commit to getting married, but you want to have kids. But then again, it's very celebrity to just have a kid. Yeah, I feel like it's really chic. And out of wedlock is so in right now. Wait, I love that you wrote on the thing spring trends because literally as I was typing something, I looked up and saw it. Capri pants. I can't wait to wear them.
Look, I actually do like it. I think they're so cute. You know who's going to rock them? Who? Your mom. She looks so good. So cute in a capri. I can't.
First of all, massive calves. Also, my calves are short. So capri pants make my calves look even smaller. What do you mean your calves are short? I have short shins. Like I have a normal body up until my knee and then my knee to my foot is like three inches. It's short. It's not. Okay, short. Like I did a rowing machine and I just didn't move.
I was like, I just didn't go. And I was like, I have small shins. I feel like you should never not be this color hair. That was the funniest way you put a compliment together. You were like, never don't not do that. Don't ever change your hair. I love this color on you. Do you remember the limited two capris that were like plaid? Yes, yes. I used to wear those every day to school. That had like a matching shirt that has like a saying on it that's like cutie pie, like
Love soccer. Yeah. It was just the most insane slogan. Soccer girl. Yeah. 23. It was like weird presidential slogans for middle school girls. It was like, I love America, wink. It was like, if you don't love dogs, like love cats also. I mean, just so crazy. Activists and pigtails. Also, like we couldn't read at the time. We'd wear anything at that point. Yeah.
Okay, capris you can wear. What shoes are you wearing with the capris? And don't say a ballet flat. No, not a ballet flat. Like a little open toe heel. Kitten heel? It doesn't have to be kitten. Why are kitten heels harder to walk in than normal heels? Kitten heels are so fucking hard to walk in. No one talks about it. And then all they do is put like a little bit of a wrap around your ankle. And obviously I'm going to flop around in it. Yeah, those always never stick to my ankle. Why do I feel like the patriarchy invented these kind of shoes?
Because some shoes, the like people would just be like, yeah, you're not supposed to be able to walk in them. That's called a badly made shoe. Is the whole point of shoes to walk?
I call certain shoes, like, car-to-table shoes. But, like, see, I don't think that's cool. Again, we're different on this one because I will stuff my foot into anything that looks good and I'll bleed for six hours if it's, like, the perfect shoe. Because if I'm going out and I need to defend my friend physically, I cannot be wearing kitten heels. That's another thing in, like, fight or flight. I feel like I'm never in the right outfit. Yeah.
To be fight. Like, I, like, will want to be, but I'm like... You know what it is? I can't run in these heels. It's, like, why I don't like getting too drunk or, like, getting too high or, like, wearing kitten heels or, like, wearing something I can't... Say no to kitten heels! Don't do kitten heels! We'll just add that into D.A.R.E. Like, um, can you actually add something to the D.A.R.E. program? It's kitten heels. We're really against that. Kitten heels is a gateway drug. Kitten heels lead to stripping. Kitten heels lead to stripping.
And we support sex work. Do you know some outfits where you can't raise your arms, some you can't sit down in? - Yeah. - I feel so out of control. Like in that moment I'm like, but what if I had to? If I had to raise my arm right now. Or like, if I get high, I'm like, what if I had to put a sense together right now? - You have that of like when you're, you know like when you're a little kid and you just realized that like you could say no to your mom about something you're wearing. Like I feel like you never lost that. - Apparently when I was born,
They put a hat on and I got my finger stuck in it and then tried to pull it off and they called me crazy animal because all the other babies were like, and I was like, get this off my fucking head. I would like actively go get the bows that match my socks and give them to my mom. Oh, I wouldn't wear socks. I refuse to wear socks. I was like, I will not wear socks. I will not. My mom would have to dress me like the night before.
to like trick me into like wearing an outfit the next day. I would tell my mom, we're getting dressed the night before. My mom had to trick me and be like, what's that? And like put a t-shirt on me. I wish just for like one day we could have like met as seven-year-olds. We would have been obsessed with each other. Like I wouldn't go outside unless I had a cute outfit. I was like, I can't play with all the other kids if my outfit's not better.
I wore the same, like, striped T-shirt every day. That's so cute. No, I was really adorable. I think boots and a skirt are going to look so good this spring. My problem is when it's hot and I wear boots, it's just a disaster. Like, it's, like, slushy and sweaty. Inside your shoe? Well, you can't wear a tight boot.
Like a spring boot. Like something that has a little give to it. So it's not like your leg is right against the leather. Because I'll wear like black leather in the spring and I get like shin splints. Honestly, you know who has like really good knee-high boots that are like a little pulled away from your leg and like sturdy and good is Zara. Oh, I love that. Yeah. One thing I learned recently is that clothes...
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People are now like obsessed with tennis. Everyone's like tennis has never happened before and I'm just like, okay What's going on that like I've been just like everyone's wearing tennis this this summer everyone's wearing tennis I'm like welcome for your brand. Yeah, it does feel like wait when's that Zendaya tennis movie come out? Don't talk to that movie
Because I watch the tennis channel all day, so they keep playing it. I'm so... Okay, I'm going to have to say it again. I support women in the arts. Right. How dare they? Yeah. First of all, put the racket in her hand the right way if you're going to say she's the greatest player that ever did tennis. It's disrespectful to... Who is it? Zendaya. No, but who is she being? Just like... Oh, this is made up. Made up. She's the greatest player ever played, and she's holding the racket wrong. It's literally like doing a football.
movie about the greatest and then he's throwing the football and not even holding it the right way. It's disrespectful. It is. And then she tears her ACL, which is not a career-ending injury. It happens all the time. It takes seven months. Don't tell Desa. No, I don't. Man, Desa's recovered from it. That is an end career ending. Get back on the slopes. And she also tears it just stepping to the side. And she's like, ah. And then also, what really pissed me off
was that the two tennis guys that she like has a threesome with are so... I don't want to be mean, but like... Do it. Tennis guys are so fucking hot. They're all 6'3", big shoulders, chiseled, cocky, hot. They pick twerps that are like... Like find fucking hot tennis guys. Like the fucking...
tennis team I hope these two those two don't live in this pod I'm sorry no but like they're great actors but they're not like you know how tennis guys are looking and we don't like men in movies this is why
It's just been airing our grievances. When you first listen to a song, if you like that song, that's insane. Like whenever I first listen to any song, for me to like any song, it has to play in the background 800 times. And eight people have to text me about it and be like, have you heard the song? I need to hear it as a TikTok sound for four months before I'm like, wait, I like that song. Have you heard that song? If you listen to a song once and you go, yes, this song is good, that's crazy. Yeah. I don't know. Like I listened to Ariana Grande's album and I was like, the only song I...
I like his yes and. You say Ariana. Ariana. Ariana. So anyway, the tennis movie was Zendaya, Zendaya. I don't support it. I'm vocally speaking against it. If you are a journalist, notice how no journalist ever pulls a quote from Giggly Squad because I think they're like, oh my God.
Wait, wait. I saw an article. What the fuck was this article? I don't even know what the article was. And they quoted Reddit. And I was like, there's just no way people are out here quoting fucking Reddit. That's one of the craziest websites. That's like a student using Wikipedia. You're not allowed to do that. No, that's just like people's like...
opinions and like hobbies I could go on and say some of the craziest shit I know that there's actual reporters who listen to Giggly Squad for fun because they have amazing taste and I support all their work they've never once been like this is an important opinion from the Giggly Squad podcast when you're on a plane if it's seat back time it's seat back time direct quote
in front of you. Okay, direct quote this shit. I do not support Zendaya movie. As a former tennis player, I think it's bad for women in sports and we just started doing well in basketball and now you're taking us back with tennis. Also, get some hot guys. Yeah. They're like the same height as her. Tennis guys need to be minimum six feet.
I just, I don't know if there's much more to say about it you said at all. And I agree. And I wholeheartedly concur. Thank you. And you're not allowed to watch it. I feel like the outfits though are going to be so good because her outfit that she just wore. Did you see the set she just wore that was like a tennis brand set? But then she put like this crystal maxi skirt over it and it looks so cool. I missed it.
I'm not supporting the campaign. I'm not supporting the campaign. I blocked it. I'm going to send it to you. I blocked them all. For the tennis community, I will not support her press outfits. If she doesn't want to do a hand in the street, I'll do it. But I will confront her. We didn't even talk about this because, like, it's so crazy. But, like...
all the P Diddy stuff I'm in like deep deep deep deep I mean I can't even scrounge my way out of it yeah reddit so this is the thing we're Italians the whole Italian thing with the mob is like snitches get stitches yeah P Diddy straight up was like apparently he's gonna tell them everything of anyone who's ever been involved in fucked up shit that he did but like because it's all about like pedophilia yeah go no for sure but I'm saying like
They're saying stuff like, you saw the Jay-Z stuff? No, I'm in a deep hole about Jay-Z. Like, it's so intense. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Killed his baby mama. Well, his baby mama died. Well, we don't know. Allegedly. Allegedly. No, she's dead. Of a brain aneurysm. Of a brain aneurysm. Allegedly. And she was like a very, she was a fitness coach. Allegedly. Like, she was fitter than Zendaya in the tennis movie. Allegedly. Okay.
I actually really want to listen to Beyonce's full album because I want to decipher all the things she's saying. Should we go home and listen to it then? Should we have a listening party and just sit? I mean, I did once I kept seeing all the TikToks of like, did you listen to the album? I love this one. I love that one. I did like skim. I like that she was like, remember when she showed up to the Grammys and was wearing the cowgirl hat? Yeah. And that was her like Easter egg. Yeah. I want an Easter egg. Like, I don't know.
Giggly Squad needs to Easter egg. What should we Easter egg? Do you know what Easter egg is? Like give little hints? Yeah. But we're big mouths and like if anything happens, we're like, oh, let's tell the Gigglers. We're not mysterious enough to Easter egg. We're not strategic enough to Easter egg. I couldn't even wait two days till I got to the White House to be like, oh, we got to tell the Gigglers we're going to the White House. Also, I watched on Apple Plus, there's this thing called Dynasty about the New England Patriots. That's so fucking good. Wait, I watched Martha Stewart. Did I tell you that? Oh my God.
Were you inspired, kind of? Beyond. The poncho. The poncho. It's all about the poncho. It's all about the poncho. I mean, she went into jail and was like, sorry, I'm just going to take a quick re-example.
Rebrand. Rebrand. I'm going to rework. Honestly, jail was the best thing that ever happened to her. She got to sit and focus alone for a goddamn minute. Didn't give anyone up. Was like, I'd literally rather go to jail, get this over with, than have any of you continue to talk to me. She also wouldn't admit that she made a mistake. She goes, I'd rather do seven months in jail. I'd rather.
Then say you were right. No. She loves revenge. She fucking must love revenge because that is so women coded of like, I rather sit in jail and rot than ever say that I fucked something up. And also, let's be honest. Can we talk about her husband for a second, too? Because everyone was like, oh, yeah, like she just like worked so much. And he was just like, you know, he was a little bit like secondary. Yeah.
And then he left her because of that? Yeah. Like, fuck you. Yeah. Sorry that she was building a brand and just crushing it. I think she felt that way too. She was like, fine, go. No, literally scram. And you've never seen her with anyone else, which is kind of the ultimate de-centering. I wonder if she's on the low. 100%. Fucking. 100%. She probably just like,
picks a guy and tells, like, Secret Service to, like, bring them to her, like, chalet. She made me want to just, like, redecorate everything and just... I mean, the woman invented...
She was like, this is how to be a rich, stuck-up Connecticut person. Yeah. And just follow my book. She was like, it's clear that no one here has ever thrown a dinner party, you actual pieces of trash. I do have to say, like, the whole dinner party thing, when people are like, I love throwing dinner parties, what is that life? Like, that you, A, love to socialize. You're like, you know what would make my life better? If I had to cook...
decorate, invite people over and then clean after, that's my nightmare. Well, even the thought of people having people over to my own home to socialize. It's dirty. It's get out. Like, what if I hit a moment where I was like, I'm going to leave right now. I watch HGTV right now. It's like a weird phase I'm going through, but I'm obsessed with it. And they'll be like, what kind of house are you looking for? And they're like, we love to entertain. And I'm always like, wait, you just want strangers running around. Or you know those like,
You know those like celebrity documentaries where they wake up and there's always like a hundred people in their house. Like, oh, that's my assistant's assistant. And that's my wake-up ride. That's my agent. I'm like, get out! One of mine and Craig's biggest fights to date, driving down the street, block party on the corner. Like all these kids running around the yard. Parents talking. Which is basically a child parade. Continue. Yep. Craig said something like, oh, I can't wait to like go to like block parties. Like with my kids in the neighborhood. And I started laughing. And I go...
I will never. You'd have to literally drug me, tie my hands behind my back, drag me to that fucking block party. A party on your street that you live on with all the other people that live on that street? No. I don't even know who lives across the hall from me. We live three inches from each other. Get
Get the fuck out of here. You did get into a little altercation with your neighbor once. Well, that was like girls. Yes. Girls for the girls. Being girls. But like a man lives across the street. I have no idea what he even looks like across the hall. No. Anywho. Your entertaining is stressful. It was like, I don't even know. It was like, you don't even know me. Do you know what I would be like the worst at? Below deck. I would be fired. Yeah. So quick.
I was trying to think if there was... Even, like, the deckhand thing, I'd be like... They'd be like, is that clean? What does that have to do with entertaining? I don't just... No, because you know how they have to, like, make...
Have you ever watched Below Deck? Yeah, but they're like working. This isn't like coming to your house. I know, but they're basically like, welcome to my yacht. And then they have to like make, and they're like, make this party. Yeah, like my mom loves it. Like this one girl was really good at... Tablescapes. Tablescapes. I didn't even know what tablescape was until Summer House. Yeah. When you were like, I'll do the tablescape. And I was like, that's a middle name. You were like, hello. Okay, go tablescape. And you put a candle in the middle. And I was like, okay, fucking Picasso. Okay.
Calm down. You put like a branch and a candle. It was very avant-garde. How dare you? And it was a lemon. I put a bunch of lemons around. Big lemons. I do have to say, I just started the New England Patriots dynasty thing. Yeah. And if you like sports or not, I love sports. But if you don't, it's so fucking dramatic. What's it? Apple? Apple Plus. So it starts with this guy, Drew Bledsoe. Hot. Why is every quarterback like the hottest guy ever? Anyway, so he's so hot. Yeah.
And he's the big guy on campus. And... Like, exactly what it was. Like, he's the man. Yeah. Like, he's the man. Yeah, I get it. Like, he's the face of the franchise, they call him. He's the shit. And then...
They select fourth overall Tom Brady, who's this kind of just like they said he walks around like a giraffe. Like he's kind of annoying and whatever. He's not even second, whatever. Drew Bledsoe. What's his last name? Bledsoe? Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe. So, he gets hit. Speaking of bleeding, he gets hit and like his insides get crushed or whatever. So he has to go to the hospital.
And they throw in Tom Brady. Okay. And Tom Brady, I think he like won the game. And they were like, okay. So he kept playing and he keeps winning. And then Drew Bledsoe finally feels better. And he's on a $100 million contract, mind you. Okay. $100 million. Tom Brady's playing for like Snickers bars. Okay.
Comes back and the coach goes, yeah, you can sit on the bench. We're still playing Tom. Talk about awkward in the locker room. Tom is this young boy. The other one's a $100 million quarterback, but they like what Tom's bringing. Yeah.
And it's, like, all this drama. And that was just the beginning of it. I love when the men have drama. But the men were, like... He's, like, look, like, obviously I'm disappointed, but, like, I support my team. Yeah. I love my team. They're always about, like, going... The coach is always, like, you know, they played good. Yeah. They put their blood, sweat, and tears into it. It's all about the good of the team. I do have to say, thank God I didn't become a professional athlete because...
I would have had too much fun with the interviews. Like, press conferences, they're so media trained to the point that their job is to, like, not say anything for anything to become a headline. Yeah. I, like, love headlines. Yeah. I've been trying to get a headline with the Zendaya thing. I love when there's, like, a rogue basketball player who, like, just learned how to spell and they put him in front of the media and he's, like, he's asking the media the question, you know? Like, he's like, what's, I don't know.
They give like one word answers. I love it. I'm like, how dumb can you be? I love it. Because it is reality TV where they're like, they create storylines. Even when it's like not important, they'll be like, oh, is there drama between this? Like I would lean in.
I'd be like, I'll pick a side. I can't believe they don't do more reality shows like that HBO hard knock show. I'm surprised there's not more. But you know what it is? It's because if you are causing drama off the court or the field, it affects the team in a negative way. And you have to stay focused on the goal, which is...
Because that's the most important thing in life is that you win. If you don't win, you're not lovable or important or worthy. And that's really what we've been trying to say here the whole time. Yep. That's what my dad said. Anyway. You guys, not to like Easter egg, but like.
Why? I think you're not allowed. That's not how Easter egging works. Not to tell you everything, but... We're definitely announcing the tour soon. Yeah. That's not an Easter egg. That's literally just telling them. Guys, we're announcing the date soon. As soon as one of our agents say that we can do it, we're doing it. We're taking the photo shoot tomorrow for it, too. Easter egg. Easter egg. That's our thing. Giggly Squad is like Easter egg, but it's just us saying it.
Also, fuck April Fool's. Because I went on my phone and it was like, Stassi's going back to Vanderpump. So I text you and I go, Stassi's going back to Vanderpump. And then I look back at it and people in the comments are like, LOL, April Fool's. And then I go, actually, never mind. Sorry, it's April Fool's. Like, we don't need an excuse for people to just lie.
I love reading text messages where people have resolved the issue on their own. I feel so accomplished when I read a text and I'm like, oh, shoot, that's a problem. Oh, they figured it out. I mean, cross that off the list. It's like I didn't even do anything. I'm always like, never mind. Ignore me. I love that. I figured it out. So yeah, April Fool's is stupid. It's April Fool's for me every day because we're giggly girls. We're having fun. We're being silly.
Don't use this one day to suddenly try to make a joke that's not a joke. Yeah. I've never seen a good April Fool's. And, like, some pranks I just, like, don't find funny. Most pranks are not funny. Unless, like, we do them. Unless we do them. I feel like I'm the kind of person where, like, someone will prank me and then I'll prank them back and they'll be like, whoa, that was way too far. And then I'm like, I don't know what we were doing. Yeah, like, it has to be a certain...
style of humor for me to think the prank is, like, really funny. If it's, like, borderline, I'm gonna get hurt. It's hard to get the right kind of prank. Once I, like, walked in my apartment in college and everyone was, like, laughing at me and I was like...
okay I'm gonna talk about this at therapy but like I was just laughing and I was like it literally happened for like two hours it's like three other girls and they all just kept being like and that was the prank they were laughing no and then like they go they were like you just don't like notice anything ever and I was like what like I don't understand what's happening right now and they were like look up and I looked up and there was like a photo of me taped to the ceiling and they were like
And I was like, you guys are so fucking stupid. Wait a second. Wait a second. That was the prank? They were like, you didn't realize it for three hours. We had to tell you about it. Were you naked in the photo? No, it was literally like my Facebook photo. You on the tennis team? It was my Facebook photo. And they're like, you didn't realize it. Because like the girl was like dating a basketball player who could like reach the ceiling. And I was like, I hate you all. Like I'm, that was so stupid. And then I probably pranked them. That would be like, that's so dumb.
Someone taped a picture of you to this. And the fact that I remember that, because I remember, I was like, what do you guys want? I just pictured Teresa Giudice, like, ha ha funny? Like, it's funny. Your picture is on the ceiling. Ha ha funny? It's like, what?
It's not funny. Honestly, it's a pain for the janitor. How dare you? There's a union because of this. I was like, why would I look up? Anyone who looks at the ceiling is a weirdo. I'd be like, now I have to fuck your boyfriend because he pissed me off. With that said, thank you for giggling with us. Thank you for giggling with us. And we're also working on something else, too. Easter is not over. Easter is not over. Love you guys. Bye.
