Giggling about our book, weddings, and we ride at dawn!!!
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I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, we ride at gone, gigglers. I don't know what that meant. I'm announcing officially right now, 3 a.m. Talk about bad admin.

We're announcing a bunch of things. We're doing housekeeping right now. We're announcing a bunch of things. We haven't announced anything on the pod, and people were like, hey, can you say it? And we were like, okay. So my Netflix special is coming out 3 a.m. Tuesday, East Coast time, midnight, L.A. time. I'm going to stay up until 3 a.m. because if I did it for Bridgerton, I'd have to do it for you. Wait, that's the nicest thing you've ever done for me. Also, if you live in between L.A. and New York, we don't know. Figure it out. Do the math. Do the math.

You want us to know mountain time? In what world? In this economy. In an election year? I just found out there was mountain time two years ago. I thought it was a bit. I thought we were kidding. So anyway, that's happening. We write at dawn. You guys...

I love you all so much. It's literally just because of the gigglers that this even happened to me. And apparently, apparently all Netflix cares about is retention rate. Which means what? So, like, put it on and make sure it ends till the end. If you love me a lot and if I've ever made you giggle once with Paige, if Paige has even ever made you giggle. Can we keep it? What if we just put it on a loop? I want it on repeat. I don't know if it does the loop, but I would say go to your parents' place. Turn on We Ride at Dawn. Put it on mute if they don't like stand-up comedy. Yeah, like, I wonder if from the same account if I just keep...

playing it. Let it play. If it will count. Go to your ex-boyfriend's house. Put it on play. Hide the remote. Throw it into the garden. If you have a garden, if you don't, throw it outside. If you have anyone else's Netflix password, log in. Add it to my list up next. Yes. Yes. Add to the up next. This is the moment we've all been waiting for my whole life. It's like it's no pressure, but like it's all boiled down to this. It's all boiled down to this. Like this is make or break. I feel good. I'm not worried because I did my job. I'm in charge of looks.

And I did my job. So if it fails, that's on you. This is our conversation before every live Giggly Squad show. She goes, I'm good because I look really good. And the gigglers are going to like my outfit. They're going to be fine. One time we almost didn't have microphones and I was like, what are we worrying about?

She goes, I'm wearing a peplum. What are we worried about? What's the concern? So we write at dawn. And when I say we, I mean us. I mean, you guys, I love you so much. Number two. Sorry, we wrote a book. Sorry, we wrote a book.

It was one of the easiest things to keep from you guys because in what world? Not a single person in a message that I saw said book. I got a couple, but they weren't confident about it. They were like, is it a book? No, no, no, no, no, no. It couldn't be. And we're just as baffled as you. And there was a couple like, is this going to be an audio book? Obviously. Yeah.

Hannah did say, I feel like we can go down a chapter because we do want a lot of pictures. And the publisher said, not how it works. And we fought for it. We need to explain the book because I feel like the gigglers were blindsided. They don't know how to process it. Let's start from day one. We were approached by Simon & Schuster. Again, we thought it was a bit. I thought they got the wrong email.

I was like, this guy's a fake Simon and Schuster. Also, you responded like fully misspelling every word. I'm like, clearly this girl doesn't know how to write. It's not. It's not for me. And they didn't even offer us a coffee table book. Like, they were like, you're writing a book. Yeah. And it's funny because I think subconsciously we were like, we want a novel that also cosplays as a coffee table book. Well, I went into it and I was like, surely...

they'll give us a ghost writer because everyone that I personally know that has written books and it's not a lot of people but like any TV personality people that have written books like you can see on the cover like ghost written by blah blah blah and they're like oh it's like you just tell them all your thoughts and then they put it into like a nice format and Simon and Schuster was like

no, you're not, we're not giving you one. You don't get one. So I went to sheer panic mode. I think they said, we will give you a ghostwriter, but like, you have a challenge. I love a challenge. And also the ghostwriter is not going to be our voice. Yeah. It's because it's,

Some random guy named Steve. Yeah, isn't getting the vibe of the gigglers. No, and we couldn't risk that. And also, I do have to say, I do love to write. Like, stand-up is all writing. No, Hannah wrote the whole book in one weekend. We literally were assigned different chapters, and then Monday she was just like, oh, I realize that you're stupid, and I did it.

No, I assigned you things and you nailed what you were assigned. That's true. I missed just a few deadlines. They did have to rework the whole schedule at one point. Let's say this took over a year. This was our blood, sweat, and tears of we wrote this fucking book and we're so proud of it. It's a guide to

To giggling. To giggling. It's how to take life less seriously. Yeah. It's all these, it's stories of our life, but also just like opinions. It's a lot of vibes. Vibes. A lot of, my favorite comment was people saying, so Grace wrote a book. And we were like, yes. So to give credit where credit is due. When I was younger, we all know,

My dad was tough on me with tennis. Why am I bringing this up so early in the pod? But then you think, well, at least school, you weren't. Nope. My mom was very firm with school. Yeah. Where, like, I'd write an essay, and she'd have to read it beforehand because she's a teacher. And she would take a big red pen. Oh, my God. Aggressive, right? Yeah. And she would just be, like, X-ing things, writing question marks, which is the most. No, question marks are so passive-aggressive. The most passive-aggressive cunty thing to do is put a question. What do you mean?

You know what it says. - When a teacher would write, "What did you mean here?" question mark, my butt would boil. - Let's fight. - Yeah, I'm like, "Oh, really?" 'Cause my mom's about to call. - Hold my fucking hoops, 'cause I'm just an idiot. You don't have to put a question mark. So she would give back to me, I have to rewrite it. So my mom was basically like, "You guys write the book and I will make sure that there's no grammatical errors, that it makes sense." And my mom also-- - I got a lot of, "Don't know what you mean here, Paige." Got it, thank you.

I will redo that. Not to completely call you out, I think that you would get high. Surely. And forget which the beginning of the sentence was. Probably. Or like you'd write it sober and then start getting more high. Yeah. So my mom was navigating your artistic mind. And my process. And your process. And we don't question your process. And I would never say to Lenore that I was on a bunch of edibles. No. When I wrote that specific paragraph. Lenore is too pure for that. I would never say that to her. And I just said, sorry.

I'll take care of it. And then we had Grace, you know, in the weeds as well. It was all hands on deck. But then the most exciting time came, which was the cover. What would the cover be? And I know what you're thinking. You guys are so creative. What was your inspo?

Rainbow Fish was part of our inspo. Hannah found this random picture of the Mona Lisa in a sepia filter, and that was also our inspo. So this is where I have to apologize to the Academy, because there was a point where I said, Paige, I'll write the book. Can you handle the cover? Yep. And not to say I'm a control freak, but I get excited when I get creatively inspired. So of course, I run it by Paige, and I'm like, look at this Mona Lisa. And over her mouth was like a

a collage cut out of like a different mouth and I said Paige it's like a serious thing but then a smiling like giggling I said I ran it past the important people which was you and you said let's do this yes so we do an entire photo shoot we get our looks everyone at the photo shoots like you're nailing it it's gonna be perfect we get the vision we know exactly what you guys are going for

And I'm also being like, so like, we got this. I'm so, I've never been more confident. I'm like, it's so different. It's so new. No one's ever seen it before. It's iconic.

A couple days later, we get a very humbling email. We get a very humbling email of four renditions of the cover. Now, when I tell you one was worse than the other, I thought it was a bit. I said, no one sent this email being serious. No, but it was in that they were like, we like three the best, maybe four. Let us know your notes. Paige immediately responds. I went...

This is where it's bad that I forget that I'm dealing with, like, professional publishers, writers, editors. These people are real humans. I emailed back and said, absolutely not. You were not that turt. Is that the word? Turt? Kurt. You weren't that kurt. Is that the word? I think I said, I think you're making up words. You weren't that. Kurt? Who the fuck is Kurt? Who is Kurt? What are you trying to say? You're not, you weren't that. You weren't that quick and mean. Like, Kurt. Kurt.

Kurt? Don't you ever gaslight me on my own podcast. K-U-R-T? C-U-R-T.

Oh, you like that word. Okay, that's short for Curtis. So I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about. Never in my life. No, what did I say back? I felt... Do you want me to read it? Okay, then here's the worst part. Wait. So then Hannah finds this artist on Instagram who like literally did the exact type of cover that we wanted like in her art. Wait, can I write what your response is? She goes, hi. Hi.

Exclamation mark with a bunch of eyes so you know shit's about to go down. Yep. I'm sorry. I'm going to be so honest, comma. I actually don't like any of them at all, period. I hate the coloring. The pictures aren't lined up at all and we actually look scary. So that was actually so polite. That's a great... Because in my head I was like, are you guys fucking stupid? When I tell you this cover made Paige DeSorbo look ugly... No, I couldn't...

Hannah keeps texting it to me just randomly throughout the day. A Tuesday at 1 p.m., I'll just get a text from her with this cover photo, and it jumps there. I do have to say the professional people who have worked

to get to this point in their life to create that first draft. It was not their fault. I do have to say it was fully my fault. I had a vision and it didn't work. I looked, I had the hills of eyes because we had like serious eyes with like a smile on it and it wasn't matched up. No, it's not. We're going to put it in the newsletter. We're going to put it in the newsletter. Hannah wants to put it on Instagram, but honestly, I'm fearful because I... You don't want it living on the internet. I don't want...

I don't want my enemies getting a hold of this photo. Because what happened is this weekend, my friends saw the cover and they were like complimenting it so much. And I was like, I got to tell you the tea of this cover. Because also they weren't just like, let's figure out a cover. They were like, we did a whole photo shoot and this is due in like four days. Yeah. And they were like, so you have to pick one. We start dying laughing though. Like we were not mad. We were laughing so hard that I actually...

It was a great memory. It honestly was a great memory. Like, I'll never forget that first cover. I laughed so... Gutterall laughs, and that's what the book's about. It is. Taking something... Take life less seriously. Because we could have cried. We could have cried. We could have been angry. We could have sued. But we were just... Now we just... Now it's my profile picture in your phone. Now, the thing is...

I really do feel like it was my fault because I pushed everyone towards this hard creative vision. So I think I follow this random girl. Labyrinth of collages. If I like something that's artistic, I follow it. I think it enhances my energy. Yeah.

And I was like, let's just message this girl. It'll be easy. Of course, she lives in Australia. No, the time difference was insane. Talk about admin. She was like, I can get on the phone at like 14 hours ahead. I'm like, what is going on? And she doesn't realize like we are to the wire. Like this is a panic move. This is like our last chance to get this cover right. Thankfully, the cover artist pulled through like perfectly.

Like, beyond. Beyond. She gave us so many different options. We, like, added things, took things away, like, formed them together, and then we got the cover that we have. And did you get the mock-up sent to you? Yep. Did you? Yeah. Did you get emotional? I did. Yeah. I got, you know what? In true Giggly Squad fashion, I got emotional because I was so happy, and then I felt, wow, what revenge to all my teachers that said I would never be able to read or do anything in...

In intellectual capacity. I almost texted your mom to be like, aren't you proud of that daughter that you really thought couldn't put two words together? Proud of the daughter that you thought had a speech impediment growing up? Look at her now. Look at her go. But I do think...

It's a great example of like when you see someone or anything accomplish something, it really is just the tip of that iceberg and the bottom is like so many failures and confusion trying to get there. So keep failing up because you might publish a book one day. No, we've manifested all of this. It's crazy. And I do think for the gigglers, like we're in this weird energy where gigglers hit me up that they're manifesting shit for their own lives too. So I'm starting to think this is a witch podcast. No, we've literally started a religion and it's scary. It's scary, but like we don't even get texts like.

breaks on it, but it's fine. I feel like we haven't been here in weeks. Yeah, because we haven't. And we never take, I can't remember the last time we took a week off from Giggly. We never take a week off. We need to let you guys, I know I've been taking the blame for a lot. I'm not taking the blame on this. No. The people power of podcasting of our whatever. Yep. We're like, you guys contractually like need to take a week off. Yeah. Like you don't take any weeks off. Can you take a week off? And we were scared. We were scared. Nervous.

Hannah texted me and was like, should we just record anyway? I didn't respond because I was like, shut up, bitch. We were worried about the gigglers' mental health. We were worried about our own mental health. I feel like there's so many things. If you don't have a podcast, who are you spewing all of your nonsense to? 100%. Like, I had so many things come up that I was like...

This is a gripe. What do you do with this now? Here's another gripe. What do you do? Just tell it to your friend and not... Yeah. Giggly squad? That's insane. No, and because gigglers give us such positive reinforcement back, like, that we're not crazy. But it's like I realize that we're all just crazy together. Side note. The gigglers get it. One thing about Grace, who's back in action. Thank you for the prayers. We're, like, back to regularly scheduled programming. For sure. And you're back in America. Thank God. So...

Do you know that it was Grace's birthday sometime over the last couple weeks, but she hid it from us? Like, I had to see, like, a friend of a friend tag her that it was her birthday. Wait a minute. I texted her, and I was like, is it your birthday? And she was like, LOL. And I was like, how did we find the one person who hates attention so much? Wait, when was your birthday? The 15th of June. What the fuck? She didn't want us to know.

Oh my God. We were sending her smoothies during that time. So that does kind of count as a gift. But like, how funny is it that she hid her birthday from us? Did you imagine not telling everyone that it was your birthday? Even if I like someone was like gun to your head, don't tell people it's your birthday. I'd be like, I'd last three minutes. Yeah. And then I'd be like, today's my birthday.

Do you ever like going about your normal day? Like, yeah, like when it's your birthday, like you go and do your normal routine. Like, OK, I'm going to get a coffee. And like there's an urge for you to say like, oh, also, it's my birthday. You feel like you're lying to someone if you don't tell them it's your birthday. You don't realize how special this day is. And you get to talk to me right now because it's my birthday. Also, they're looking at you and I'm like, I can tell that he knows it's my birthday. And I should just confirm that the glow and aura I'm giving off is birthday. Yeah.

I can't believe you didn't say anything. But like, I feel like that's why we all get along so well. Cause Grace would rather literally, I don't know. Yeah. Anything. I actually don't really love my birthday either. I'm not a huge. Well, you're 31. No one cares about birthdays anymore. That's true. That's to bring it up. Haley, who came over, she was like, it's my birthday. And I was like, what's, what age? She goes 31. I go, nobody cares. Nobody cares. It's so true. No, until we turn 35, nobody cares. Can I say something really fucked up? Yeah.

So I'm 32, about to turn 33, and I realized I have like basically two more years of even passing as young. Why would you say that right now? It's a Sunday evening. I thought we were being honest with each other. I'm saying this honest thing because I want us to think bigger picture. Yeah. Being young sucks. Your frontal lobe is like... Not there. Not there. Hannah texted me this weekend. Wait.

Hannah texted me this weekend and said, and just in case you ever need to come back, just say, call me when your frontal lobe is developed. There's nothing like friendship when your friend is just like, in case you need an insult, I have one on deck for you. I always said, in case you get in a fight with this man, if you happen to this summer, for whatever reason, I thought of something that I can't say because I've been fired. But if you want to say it, I think it's good. You can use it.

I told everyone. I literally told Sierra, I was like, if you want to take this, you can. But I do have to say, our life is not about being old or young. It's the energy we are as people. It's the soul who we are that goes through a lot of states. Oh my, are you high? Yes. No, I'm tired. Actually, I'm kind of nervous just because I have an insane week ahead of me. No, you really do. But in like a fun way.

So tonight you're doing spots to prepare for Jimmy Fallon tomorrow. Okay, we didn't even talk about Jimmy. I'm nervous about Fallon because I have to do five minutes of clean material. And they film it during the day. It's not... It's at 4 p.m. And it's not actual... Like...

Even though it's not live, you can't they're not like redoing things. I don't think they can like cut anything. And if I accidentally curse, they'll like bleep it. But then I think you get written off like you can't work in this town again if you curse on Fallon. If you need something to say to Jimmy Fallon, you can bring up that we went to the same college that is now no longer.

So if you need a little anecdote... Wait. You and Jimmy... You went to St. Rose. That doesn't exist. And I don't know what that says about us, but...

The funny thing is the booker was like, we're so excited to have you on. Let's figure out what five minutes of jokes you have that work. And I sent them some of my clean options and they were like, what were like the really punchy bits? Like we saw you do a JFL and I was like, oh yeah, the queef bit and the gun bit. I feel like Chris has heard me talk about this before, but it's like,

particular feeling that only women will feel is when you're sitting or lying down and you fart and the fart can't go down so it comes up through your labia lips and you fart upward. Men can never do that because they have pee pee. Why did I say pee pee? Am I the only honest one here? No. Am I alone here? No, I'm alive. And low key you're kind of like, ooh. No, it is a weird feeling.

It like hits too many. And you know what I hate about society and this misogynistic world that we live in? Every time that happens, I'm immediately like, oh my God, sorry. That's so embarrassing. But it's not because you did that to me. Oh, queefing. You queefed me, period. Yeah. Like I had no control over it. No girl has ever queefed alone. Yeah. And that. So anyway, I have a whole bit of one of my favorite bits on Netflix is about that.

So I couldn't do that. And then I have a joke about how all the girls should have guns. And they were like, let's not. It's a little. Let's not. In an election year? You just, we can't. So we're trying to figure out now what clean bits. And they want you to do multiple bits in five minutes. Clean bits sounds like a Love Island UK thing.

Spin-off? Yeah, spin-off. Clean bits. Clean bits. Dirty bits and clean bits. Dirty bits and clean bits. I do think that... I am going to go off about Love Island in a second. Actually, go off. Okay, because last time I talked about it on the pod, I was one episode into USA, and I was spewing not hate, but I was just like, I'm getting annoyed that people are just watching USA, and they think that's what Love Island is, when there's a whole...

history to love island and it started in the uk i'm not gonna take everything i said about it back because i do think that the american version is so dramatic and heightened and it's it's just not the way the british girls are when they meet who they're coupled up with and getting to know it's a different show i mean it's similar but like the vibes are completely different on each show

Here's what I will say. There is a man on Love Island USA who, I'm not kidding, is the worst man on reality TV that I've seen in a couple years. Like, he's so scary and manipulative. And the way he turns things into making it the girl's, like, fault. I actually said to the TV, I hope that there's a psychologist professor watching this and they're clipping this as...

And showing it to a class because this is 101. He actually reminded me of someone. Yeah. And I was so I think I was so triggered by it because I was like, oh, my God. And everyone loves you because you're so hot.

And like you're the only hot guy on the show. And so there's also people are siding with him. People are liking him. There are some people that are like, oh, he's the worst, but he's not getting nearly as much shit as like one of the other like one of the girls that he was with this girl named Leah. What's an example of something he did?

He was coupled up with this girl, Leah, and unpopular opinion too. I'm full team Leah. He was coupled up with Leah, and then he started talking to another girl. Leah went up to him and said, like, why are you talking to this other girl? Like, do you like her? Whatever. He fully made it her fault that she wasn't listening to how he felt.

like about the situation he started crying whenever a man starts crying because they're frustrated like that's for girls and when we get pulled over and we're trying to get out of a speeding ticket like it's not for you guys no like I can't do it like I've been in so many situations recently where my

Come back not even come back but like my explanation is but I'm a girl and you're not So it's like you don't get to do this like well. This is the thing let's be honest, and I'm gonna say something controversial Okay, guy TV is for girls

The men on reality TV... No, it's for girls. It's for girls. Girls are the stars of it. Girls are the ones who get the hate. Girls are the ones who get the storylines. The men are accessories. And when men are getting good edits on reality TV, it is honestly... Scary. Should be illegal. It's...

Call your local representative. Call your local lobbyist. I've had enough with the men on reality TV getting away with actual murder. No, 100%. And will they get in trouble for some things? Yeah.

But let's be honest, if a girl did it, she'd be... No. No. No. So I'm just, like, I'm still watching, obviously. It is getting crazy and it is good, but I will never not be a true Love Island UK fan. I think it's also because, like, when men get emotional, like, if a man cries, it's like she must have murdered someone. Where if a girl cries, it's immediately like, oh, she misunderstood the situation, she's overreacting, she's trying to be a victim. When men cry to be manipulative to, like...

it's,

That's like a level of, I also want to say. That's when I'm like, oh, I'll really make you cry. People know that, I don't know if everyone knows, but I actually like loved reality TV and I can't watch it anymore because I know how the sausage is made. But how has being on reality TV affected you watching reality TV shows? Well, watching, I really only watch Love Island is like the only reality TV. Sometimes Craig makes me watch 90 Day Fiance, but they're so fucking crazy that I feel like fine about my own life. Mm-hmm.

So Love Island is really the only one I watch. Like, I don't... I can't watch anything else on Bravo. But you can just see...

- I can tell what producers would have wanted and how they made their dream scenario absolutely happen. So that's a little bit of a mind fuck 'cause I'm like, you guys don't even know that you thought this is all naturally happening. The producer said something to you specifically that changed your mind and now we're in this scenario. And I don't think like,

people who haven't filmed a show would ever catch on to certain things like that. So then I end up hating characters even more because I'm like, oh my God. You went with what the producer said. You went exactly with what they wanted. Yeah, and you knew it would hurt your friend and make your friend look bad. And you didn't give a fuck. Yeah. And it's, yeah. So I get, I have a hard time like not getting so emotionally charged. For sure. I also think...

When people are like, oh, how did people not know this season was going to turn out the way it was? It's because it's like think of a hang. Like when you're hanging out, one person is not the star and one person is not like completely the villain. You're all just hanging out throughout the night. So when it airs and one person looks like they are like a god and then one person looks like they're like the most horrible person in the world. Yeah, people have done things, but it's never that extreme that when you're actually like hanging out. And I always say...

if you talk to each person about what happened, they all will give you a different narrative. Totally different version. So you just have to pray that your narrative is the one that's shown. Right. And when you're in a large cast, it's a small percentage chance. I will say, too, one difference that I found to be kind of interesting, they're the same age range, UK and USA. UK truly is just more mature than us. Yeah. And I get it. Or is it because they sound smarter? Yeah.

A little bit of both. Like, honestly. Like, I was 24 years old and I definitely acted like the girls on Love Island USA. Like, I would definitely get obsessed with someone and I don't know anything about them. But in my head, I made it up. Where UK, the girls are more mature. They handle situations better. They just are more mature. And I feel like that's... One thing I've always loved about the UK, and shout out to British Dave who taught me this, is like, they're obsessed with chat. Yeah.

Is the chat good? Where in America, you meet a guy, you're not like, oh, our conversation flowed. We had good chat. You're like, okay, check. He's tall. Check. He has blue eyes. Check. Check.

No, UK is very into like- Chemistry. Yeah. Do we mesh? Do I even like laugh with him? Where USA is like- And I think we could learn from that. Do I want to sleep with him? When you go on a date with a guy, is the chat good or are you just hilarious and you could have been talking to a brick wall? You could have been at home FaceTiming your friend. Yeah. And that's just like dating. We just figured out dating. Yeah.

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This is so not me, but I... You cried? No. Oh, God, no. But I was on Instagram and I just kept seeing, like, all this, like, chatter about Olivia Colpo and it was just, like...

I mean, people were coming for this girl's neck on some things. And I really wasn't fully read into everything on TikTok and all of it. But I did see that people were like, oh my God, we hated her looks. I saw the aftermath. Yeah. And I was kind of busy. So I didn't watch all the TikToks and I didn't see all the comments. But you're best friends with Hailey Beaver. So I was like, let me just shoot my shot and send Olivia Colbo a DM. Have you DM'd her before? No.

- No, but then I looked back and like I've tagged her in things like years ago. I must have like copied one of her outfits or just like whatever.

So I sent her a message and I was just like, I didn't see a bunch of stuff, but like you looked gorgeous at your wedding and you look stunning and like, don't worry about anything. She messaged me back and was like, thank you so much. Like, it's been tough, but like, I appreciate it. And I just like sent another message. Come on, giggly squat. No, I didn't. But I was like, no, I'm obsessed with you. But I just felt so bad. Like regardless of if you like someone's wedding dress or not, like, and yes, she's like a public person.

figure and people are allowed to have opinions and say they don't like it. But I don't know for whatever reason, I think because I've been a fan of her for so long, I felt like, okay, but she's still a girl sitting at home looking at messages being like, you looked horrible on your wedding. Which is like,

what we've been trained to be the biggest day of our lives. And so for that, I felt so bad. So first, let's acknowledge that you only messaged her to make me jealous because of the Haley stuff. Number two. Sorry, Olivia. This was bigger than you. It was not like a girl's girl thing. It was actually...

Girl and girl crime. Don't let her confuse you. This was literally just about me. This was calculated. I did just start filming reality TV again, so I am in it. Not okay. I am not okay, and I am in it. I do have to warn people, yeah, during the episodes of the next two or three months... It will go rogue, and there will be mental breakdowns. I'm having a hard time seeing again, so...

Big picture with the Olivia Coppola thing is we're at this insane time where back then, like, for people to critique things, it would come from the mass media. Where now anyone could judge it and it get the virality of, like, way more than a newspaper. What are these words? Virality? Sorry. Sorry. I don't know where that came from.

But, like, a girl's viral TikTok definitely does better than, like, a magazine did. Absolutely. And then we're at the point not only where anyone's opinion could be considered, like, group mentality, whether it's right or wrong. Yep. But now the celebrity also can directly respond to them. And honestly, it's chaos. No, it's chaotic. And I don't think, like, our society knows yet how to manage, like—

these opinions going viral of anyone at any time. Sometimes people do opinions that they don't expect to go viral and then when it goes viral, they get hate because they just thought it was kind of a joke or like kind of an opinion but people are like, how could you have that opinion? So then celebs, when they comment, it tends to get worse. It blows up even more. It tends to get worse because then it's like a David versus Goliath type situation where it's like, oh, you're coming for this small creator type thing. Yeah. But then it's also like,

This is a human who feels attacked by the entire internet. So we are in Game of Thrones. It's literally, it's really stressful out there. And so I just like felt bad because I was like, oh my God, if that happened to me, like on my wedding day, I'm like, I love this fucking dress. And then everyone was just like, you're disgusting. I hate it. Do you know what I would say to the girls? And this could be powerful.

I'm not saying anyone was in the wrong. But if you have a moment where you want to go on a rant about like how Olivia Colbo said she didn't put mascara on, but she had a lash lift. So she's a liar. Take that energy. Which is such a like. Take that energy. And we're not saying you're wrong. Yeah. No. It's a fact. Yep. Take that energy and ruin a man's day with it.

And that's all we've tried to say since we started. Because you're smart. You know what's going on. Use it. You're in tune with things. You can see behind. Should be a lawyer. Yeah. Let's take that. Put it towards the enemy. Which is the men. Girl and girl crime is not what we need to do right now. I had one sentence that I kept saying all weekend. And people started to get annoyed with me by the end of it. And I kept saying, how do you guys run the country?

And I couldn't stop saying it because at every turn, here I am baffled. To men. Yeah. I said, and your species is in charge of all this. But this is crazy because the women run everything but the country. And that's where I get worried. Craig's actually getting really mad at me recently because I keep saying, you guys aren't natural born leaders. Because I saw one TikTok. I saw the same TikTok. We have the same algorithm. And it's now. Can we discuss it? It's now my religion. How much time do we have? Can we discuss it? Absolutely. I have like an hour for this. Let's go.

Men are not natural born leaders is a thing that was said that sounds fucking witchy. It hit so deep in the depths. It was almost like my ancestors were like, this is what we've been trying to tell you guys. And you know why I 100% agree? Because you know when you're in preschool, who is the person that decides she has to stand up? And I said she already.

It was me. Yeah. Who said, everyone sit down. I'm the teacher now, bitch. I mean, we could go as far back as Adam and Eve. Okay? Because Eve got the apple, gave it to Adam. Why didn't Adam get his ass up and look for his own apple?

So, like, we could go even further back. Here's the other thing. Military, all men pretty much, they're taking orders from other men. They love taking orders. They love being told what to do. Because men are dogs, women are cats. Wow.

Wow, we just figured out everything. And what this girl said in her TikTok was essentially like the way you can tell that men aren't natural born leaders is because when they're outside the home doing their job, that's their job. Like they're taking orders from someone. They know what they're doing that day. Great. When they come home, they don't know. They don't know where anything is. They don't know like what time kids have to be picked up. And women are doing everything.

all of the work stuff they're doing and also know where everyone that lives in their house is at every moment. And so, if so facto... I do have to say, if you're listening and you're still on the fence, think about your mom. Now we really sound like a cult. Think about your mom. You're on the fence of believing us or not. No, it's definitely at least...

This is going to ring true. A Tupperware marketing scheme. If you still don't want to buy our Tupperware. For $19.99, we're going to slash that price right now. Think about your mom and dad, and someone has a key to, like,

The nuclear weapon. The codes. Who are you giving that key to? My mom. First of all, my dad's losing it. Okay. The man doesn't even have an email address. They wouldn't even be able to give it to him. Okay. Also, just think about like going on vacation. Has anyone seen their dad pack, not only for himself, but for anyone else in the home?

Why do whenever you go anywhere with your parents, your mom has a whole duffel bag for what everyone needs. Your dad doesn't even have a wallet. No. He has a clip. No. He's running the world with a clip. I don't think so. My dad has a rubber band. My dad. Our nation is being held on by a rubber band. Literally a thread. Here's another example. Anytime you're with a man and you have a purse.

They say, can I put my stuff in your purse? Where would they have put any of their things? Because they didn't think. They don't think about anything. They live so like moment to moment in the moment. And we're big picture people. And you know what? I would say it sounds peaceful as fuck. It sounds happy. I wish. And some would say, yes, men are less emotional because they are living in the moment because they can. All I say to Craig all day long is, wow, I wish I could date someone like me.

And that really gets them. And if you if your boyfriend is pissing you off, it's so subtle. But yet they will think about it for days. I say, wow, you have a great life. I wish that I could meet someone like me. Gosh, how less stressed I would be if someone just knew where all the things were in my home and didn't even live here. How crazy. No, I do have to say.

Shout out to Des. I don't know how I did it, but I found a guy who, because he's been single for so long, has had to function on his own. So he took him 47 years. A boot camp. And if someone would see his lifestyle, would they recommend it to people? No. No.

Like no one would be like, he's doing it well, but he is doing it and he doesn't need me. Right. But like, let's just say that when his nephew comes over, he goes, yay, we're going to Des. It's the messy place. Yeah. And we had friends over this weekend and I said, you guys, there's no rules. Like you can be messy here. Like I don't, we don't have like pillows on top of pillows. Like we don't do adult things. Guess why?

Because the woman doesn't have her shit together. Right. So if I don't do it, it won't be done. It won't be done. And I've just, honestly, mom is busy right now. I have Fallon on Tuesday. Like, I have stuff. You have things going on. I can't get throw pillows. Hannah, my boyfriend didn't pack for a two-week trip. Didn't pack for a two-week trip.

Yeah, I don't think you're understanding it. Didn't pack outfits for a trip we were on for two weeks. We got there the first day. He said, I really want to go shopping. I go, really? Like, that's the first thing? Like, okay, yeah, like, I'll go shopping. He bought so many things. He wore them for the entire trip. And then I put together, did you pack for this trip? He goes, no, why would I pack when I'm going to buy things here?

So I'm just, I was having a hard time. I go, not only did I spend seven months putting my outfits together, then went through a month period where I gaslit myself that my outfits were horrible. Okay, so I was dealing with that mental process. So I don't, again, how are you running the country? Remember growing up, we actually were told women couldn't run the country because we were too emotional. Like that was actually like,

The end of the argument. People were like, yeah, because women are emotional. Right. When meanwhile, I'm like, was my mom emotional when she had to raise two children with two jobs? No. And her own husband? I've never seen my mom cry. Literally, I've seen my mom cry. I'm not kidding. I have seen my mom cry.

Three times in my life. Wait, you're so right. I have seen my dad cry. Oh my God. Probably 45 times. Mom doesn't have time to cry. No, literally. My mom's busy. She probably loved to schedule in a good fucking sob, but the bitch is busy. Like, she doesn't have the luxury of just letting one rip. Like,

And you know what? It all comes full circle. This is what happens when we skip a week. It gets too deep. No, it gets too dark. But, like, we've been working hard, obviously manifesting all these dreams, and then now, like, there's kids on the horizon, possibly. For who? Oh, not me. Well, not me. Not us, but I'm saying in the next stage. Oh, like, children are being born. In general, children are being born. There is another generation. For women. Yeah. And then it's like you have to either teach him, which, again, is leadership, how to take care of the kids. Yeah.

Or just become a lesbian. Yeah. My friend Becca's a lesbian and she said parenting is so easy because they both are capable. No, do you want to? She was like, Hannah, it's the easiest thing I've ever done. I think about lesbian couples so much. Well, one, because I'm like fully on lesbian TikTok. But like all I think about is, wow, your guy's apartment must be so fucking organized. Do you know before a date? And it must smell so good. Before a date, they get ready together. Like they curl each other's hair.

And they, like, tell each other, like, this looks good, this looks cute. They, like, they get ready together. All I've been looking is for someone to split the bill with my skincare. Just, like, sharing bathroom products and, like, clothes. It's just, ugh. I think you have the potential. Like, your life can go many ways. Not to be, like, psychic about it, but, like, I could see you, like, having kids, like, whatever. Like, even soon, potentially. Yeah. Rome wedding. And then, or somewhere else in Italy. Yeah.

I'm getting a couple places. You're getting a few visions. Or you go full Breaking Bad and you have a full like Miley Cyrus, Caitlyn Carter-esque moment. You want me to be a lesbian? So you want me to shave my head, become a lesbian, do not like who I am as a person? Maybe. You want me to start wearing Crocs, which is against my religion. Me and Crocs know that about each other.

No, it's just like I unfortunately do love men. It's a lot of talking about feelings. That's the part I couldn't do. Like during sex they're talking. No. No. And they're eating hummus. I could do the hummus. Maybe not during sex. Jessica Kearson said they eat hummus and they talk about their feelings a lot. No, I couldn't do that.

See, because Des, sometimes I want to keep talking about my feelings, which is not healthy. And he'll just start playing his golf game on his phone. I am Des. And I'm like, you know what? That's what I, I don't need someone enabling my like intrusive thoughts every time I have one. He's like, I've hit my limit for today. He'll hit, he's like, it's so healthy. Like, I'll be harping on something. As you know, I harp a lot.

You do harp. I'm a harper. I will harp until there's nothing left to harp about. That's a good baby name for you, Harper. Harper. A little too Southern. Not that Southern's bad. It just looks like... Got it.

Sorority. Yeah. He will literally put his foot down and be like, and I'm done with this today. Yeah. No, there's so many times Craig has been speaking to me and I just start playing TikToks. I'm like, sorry, I don't want to be rude and say I was done with this conversation. This was supposed to like be that and you're not getting it. It's actually not rude. It means you really love the person. But I feel like with friends, they shouldn't do that. Like I would never do that to a friend. No, I would. Well, no, I would never do that to a girl. No. But like in a relationship when you could tell like,

okay, you're trauma dumping and I'm enabling your trauma dump. Where with friends, that's what friends are for. No, there's nothing I love more than being with my friend and being negative about everything. And honestly repeating the same story like 400 times. Over and over and over because there might be a small anecdote that we didn't forget or we didn't analyze enough. Or it could inspire a story we forgot to tell by repeating that other story.

I'm so hot I might throw up. Let's get into some things we're watching. Okay. So there's a lot going on. No, I'm literally getting lightheaded. Do you want to pause? Pause for a second. Turn the air on. Oh, no, we do not want bathing.

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And it has 700 legs. So I watched a Nickelback documentary. Okay. You thought, Grace thought you were a millennial with the dancing. This is insane. I didn't even know they were still alive. Oh.

younger than Des. No, I know. I'm just kidding. So it's basically about like why does everyone hate Nickelback? Yeah. Do you remember there was a time when Nickelback was just Nickelback? Yeah. Which shows our age but like Nickelback They were fine. Nobody hated them. Look at this photograph. Yeah, there was like all of a sudden there was like this culture. Well, it was when they put their album Oh no. Was that Nickelback? What'd they do? Who was

was the person that like you two when like everyone had it on their iTunes yeah and didn't ask there was no consent no consent and you two was on it but you two's fine you two's respected Nickelback has become a meme I think the guy's hair didn't do him I mean look I kind of feel bad for them you feel bad but then you watch the documentary and it's definitely made by them and it's trying to make them more relatable and you're kind of like

Yeah, this guy doesn't deserve to be canceled, but I don't... Did they bring up how they became just a joke? Yeah, it was literally... And the guy who's the main guy was like, the other guys in the band don't get it. It's much harder for me because I'm the face of the band, so everyone hates me and knows who I am. But I'm also like, yeah, and that's what comes with being the star of the band. Yeah. And maybe you're the reason why everyone hates you. Maybe the other guys didn't do anything.

The drummer's like, please leave me out of this. I literally haven't said a word. He also, like, dated Avril Lavigne, which I... Oh, he did? Yeah, like, he's... And I don't know the man, but it's... You didn't watch the documentary, like, being like, that man deserves to get all the hate. He does not. But you didn't leave it, like, justice for that man. No.

I rarely leave an interaction with a man and think justice for him. Because I personally do not think they should get any hate. Like, as in, they have such incredible music. They worked really hard to be where they're at. Yeah. And yeah, some people say it's corny or whatever. I mean, there was a time where people, like, loved listening to it. It was played more on the radio than the Beatles. Like,

Yeah. Someone argued they got so big it got overexposed. But then people would be like, oh, it's like pop rock bullshit. And I'm like, if you think that's too poppy, like then what about pop songs that are literally just like repeating a girl's voice over and over again? Like you don't hate on music. It's like calling music hack when like some people enjoy it. Right. So that was my thesis on Nickelback documentary. I didn't love the documentary. What was it on? Netflix. Netflix. Yeah.

But then I went to, I believe, HBO to watch the Taylor Swift Scooter Braun documentary. Oh. Which no one's been talking about. No one's been talking about that. I saw that on...

the platforms but I scrolled yeah I think well people were trying to be like why is no one talking about this she's the biggest artist in the world and it's because when I was watching it no one's hiding anything it's actually not one not that interesting and b it's very like pop news done like you tell it's done by like a TMZ type thing but long story I hate those I hate it's

Because I get so excited for them, and then I'm like, oh, this is like a fake... It's three journalists talking. And they say the same thing in different sentences. 100%. So their whole artistic vision was the first one is...

is Taylor's version of what happened, and the second one is Scooter Braun's version of what happened. But it's just like clearly journalists who hate Taylor Swift in the second one and journalists who love her in the first one. But what I gained from it factually is that Taylor Swift was offered her masters. If you don't know what masters are, which I didn't know,

I still don't know. No, Masters. The original recording? No, no, not the original. It means, yeah, the original recording. So, like, she owns the music, whatever, but those actual recordings are the Masters. So when her whatever people were going to sell it, they offered it to her.

But they didn't just say like, hey, you could buy it for whatever you want. They said you could buy it, but you have to do an album if you want the masters to a previous album. Every time you want the masters to a previous album, you need to do a new album for us. So that's not a good...

Right. Right. So that's... She didn't automatically... You don't automatically... The label automatically owns the master. Yes. Even though you own the rights to the song. Yes. Okay. So that's why she was able to re-record it. And she, like, I guess it was oversimplified, but she basically said, you know, I wasn't able to buy my masters. I wasn't even aware that he was selling it to Scooter. Like, and she basically told her, the Swifties, like...

make this known that this is wrong. So they all came for Scooter and stuff. Got it. So Scooter is like... Do you think Scooter is the name he was born... Scott, I looked it up. Oh, okay. First of all, never trust a man that goes by Scooter. Well, that's the biggest gripe I have here. How did we get from Scott to Scoot? To Scooter. It's just...

Just be Scott. Who has a nickname that's longer than their original name? Sociopaths. I don't like it. I don't like it. It's giving Braxton. It doesn't sit well. I didn't want to say the B word. Oh, my God. I didn't even say. I met Alex and Braxton at the wedding. Wait, tell me, like, the scene. Give me the scene. I was at... We were in Saint-Tropez. I was at, like, a welcome... Sorry, I was in Saint-Tropez. Just at a five-star resort. In walks Braxton. No, I was at a...

like welcome party, like wedding party. And I was with Rachel. Rachel from The Bachelorette. Matt and Rachel. Matt James. Okay, I've never met her, but we're like pretend best friends. No. Is she like a girl?

a girl's girl. I love her so freaking much. Is she a giggler? I actually don't know if she's a giggler. But she's like friends with us. Yeah, like she gets it. Like she's our vibe. Did you guys talk about me? I don't know if we did talk about you. I'm so...

Sorry. Why did you not lead with me? Why did you not lead? Hi, I'm Paige. Do you know Hannah? Hi, I'm Hannah Berner's best friend. I go by Paige. That's crazy behavior. No. Because that's how I lead with people. Because you want to know what? When I first really saw her, we were in like a club. Also, you didn't know that she and I are friendly. I didn't know that you guys knew each other. We don't know each other, but yeah.

Got it. So I was with Rachel and she was like, oh my God, I have to introduce you to Alex because she's friends with them. So I walked over and I saw Alex. Obviously she's so pretty on the internet, but she's so cute and pretty in person. And she just like, I immediately felt like, oh my God, I have to protect you. You're just like a young girl. I hugged her. She was like, oh my God, I'm such a fan. I said, I'm such a fan of you. And then I turned to Braxton. I was so nervous because I was like,

No, we dragged your name. For three years. All in good fun. All in good fun. He was so nice. Do you think he saw the videos? I don't know. Probably. Okay, but it wasn't brought up. But it wasn't brought up. It was very quick. And I wasn't like, oh, we got to take a picture together or anything. I said hi. We were very nice. And then, like, the party kept going. But they were so, like, normal. Just, like, normal people and just, like, really cool. And that's pretty much the end of my story.

He goes, she's human. I touched her. Yeah, she's a real person. She's alive. She didn't have, like, snakes coming out of her hair. No. And it was just, like, being at a normal wedding. Like, everyone kind of chilled with, like, their table. Yeah, we didn't even bring it up. Like, there's this crazy wedding that was going on. I think it got a lot of attention because it was, like, a vast amount of, like, not just influencers, but, like,

and people. Like random. You tell your mom to shut up and you don't pay taxes. You were at that party. There were a lot of people at that party that in the third grade said, fuck you, mom. And yes, that actually nails it. And then actually there was some drama and I don't want to call you out because it is the summer. Yeah.

You go to the wedding and you post all these photos and then your caption. And at first I said, how dare they try to pit two women against each other? Paige writes something along the lines of this was the greatest, most amazing, best, most beautiful wedding I've ever been to. What'd you say? I said the most gorgeous wedding I've ever been to. And I'm going to be honest, when I was about to post that thread, I said, Paige, you can't post that thread.

You're such a millennial.

Photo? Caption? The carousel of photos. Oh, dump. The dump, yeah. Grit dump. Whatever the kids are fucking saying. When I was going to post all those photos, I was like, okay, I can't do a caption about me when I was at someone else's wedding. I can't not include a photo of a wedding that I was at and just act like, oh, I went on a trip. And I can't not attack my best friend's wedding also. So I was just like, I don't even know when I'm making this. Best wedding ever. But I feel like everyone says that for every wedding they've ever been to.

You're getting defensive. Breathe. I'm hot. Yeah, it is like 400 degrees here because we don't like the air conditioning because it makes a bad sound in the back. So are you making a statement? That I lied. You don't have to. It was the most gorgeous wedding I've ever had. Can you at least do compliment sandwich and say something nice about my wedding? Your wedding was the most fun I've ever had at a wedding.

Do you even remember my wedding? No, and that's why I was so shocked. I blacked out the second I got there. I remember you walking down the aisle, me crying. Talk about me never crying. I cried like a fucking baby at your wedding to the point where Craig turned around and was like, are you seriously crying this much? I was like, that's my best friend. She came in. It's so nice.

So your wedding was the most fun wedding I've ever been to. This was a spectacle of a... Yeah, it was wild. The scenery, everything. The outfits. Like, it was... When you're at a wedding... Well, thank you for clarifying because I was getting a lot of tags and I didn't want to speak for you because I thought you were lying. Did...

Do you feel weird talking to the bride when you go to a wedding? I always feel like it's like a celebrity that you don't want to bother eating dinner. I honestly stay away from the couple at a wedding. I feel like making eye contact with the bride is disrespectful. I'm like, you don't even come to my table to say hi. You have so many other things to do. I feel like it's rude to like actively want to talk to the bride and groom. To take any of their time. Yeah, I'm like, who am I? But then what if the bride is like, why is everyone ignoring me?

I honestly, they had so many people and so many different events that I truly do think they did like talk to like that to everyone. Yeah. But actually, I didn't talk to them at the wedding. No, out of respect. Because I talked to them the day before. What was it? What else was I to say? Out of respect. Um, Kendall Jenner wore your dress. Kendall Jenner wore a navy blue Jacquemus dress and everyone was like, oh my God, she looks so good. This is insane. Sorry, I already wore it to meet Victoria Beckham. So my Kendall is a giggler.

Kind of a giggler. Could have tagged. Could have tagged. Could have said, I was listening to Paige meet Victoria Beckham and she wore a stunning outfit. And I was like, I'm going to wear that. Maybe she is a giggler because of Hailey. Let's talk about Justin Bieber reposting you.

Honestly, it's a weird thing with the phone because, like, you see it, but it doesn't really process. It's not like you're, like, he was, like, hey, Hannah, like, that was a funny post. I'm sharing it. If there's one man in the arts we support, it's Bieber. It's Justin Bieber. No, yeah, just, like, went on my phone and I started getting, like, messages

like crazy and I hadn't done anything. And I'm like, this is weird. And then the gigglers were sending me a screenshot and it was crazy because it was like the only story he posted. I also feel like we manifested that because the first time we ever did a live show, I walked off stage and I said,

I understand what Justin Bieber feels. Justin Bieber feels connected to us. And I feel like in the universe, I was like, us and Justin Bieber. But I also wonder, like, did he watch it and think like, wow, that was good. That was hilarious. Yeah. So that's really funny. But yeah, we didn't even talk about Hailey.

I actually, I don't think I even told you because I wanted to annoy you. Did I tell you I was interviewing Hailey? No, you didn't. Oh, yeah, I wanted to annoy you. No, we talked about this on the pod. We talked about it on the pod. Oh, yeah, we did. The belly bump and everything. So, yeah, that was just the aftermath with Justin. But, like, I get it. It's kind of like when me and you hang out and Craig, like, tries to FaceTime us because he knows we're having fun, which is, like, valid. Right. They want to, you know. What are you talking about? What's going on? Are you talking about me? Are you involved? Final thought.

Oh, yeah, I'm watching Breaking Bad still. Get over it. I think it's finally starting to get good at, like, season... I'm one of those people that's like, season 73, I kind of like where the plot's going. Yeah. So are you watching anything besides Love Island? Just my life fall apart. I'm a jet.

With that said, Tuesday, 3 a.m. Eastern, no idea of mountain time, midnight LA. Mountain girlies, you're on your own. And we ride at dawn, share it in any capacity. It means the world to me.

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