Giggling about mistakes, marathons, and making money
55:51 Share

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

Hannah and I travel a lot and let me tell you I am so sick of hotels. Like there's not one hotel that impresses me anymore. I'm just done with them and that's why Airbnb is such a great option. And who wants to go on a trip and share just one bathroom like hotels? And also I feel like you make so many more memories when you're in an Airbnb because your rooms are all in the same hallway, you can be in the kitchen together. It's just a lot more fun.

I've stayed at so many Airbnbs for bachelorette parties, and it truly is the difference between a good bachelorette party and a eh bachelorette party. So next time you're planning a trip, try Airbnb. Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Happy geriatric giggler birthday to me.

I'm officially having a geriatric. I would officially be having a geriatric pregnancy. No, in my head, you've been 32. I didn't know you were 31 because I'm a year older. So yeah, there's like two months where I'm like really a lot older than you and wiser.

but now we're back and then i catch up in november how are you feeling you just woke up daphne's on your lap daphne's on my lap she's grabbing at my microphone and my headphones and i'm just so blessed because her why do you sound like a mormon tiktok wife i feel so i'm holding my baby and i just feel blessed i'm just happy to be here on this planet with my loved ones and god looking down on me

No, that's how I feel when I see Daphne. I'm like, you're just a blessing. I realize we never told people about some tour updates, like some stuff we've been doing on tour. Yeah, we have some tour stuff. Wait, before we get to tour stuff. Yeah, what should we do? What are we doing? I'm so scared right now. Wait, that's such a ballad. You ever just like, you look at your friend and you're just like, what are we doing? What's the plan? What are we doing?

What's the plan of attack? Because I'm scared right now. Okay, I just need to get this out because I feel like I'm the only one with this perspective and I just don't know why. I'm so proud of the marathon runners. I love that they have a commitment to something and they're so much healthier than everyone else in the country and I'm so proud of them for running the marathon yesterday.

Getting in a taxi from JFK to go to the Upper West Side on the Sunday of the marathon, I wished that they all got shin splints. Like, I was cursing. I couldn't have been more pissed the fuck off. I was like, what is she going to say? Okay, shin splints, good. I forgot that it was marathon day, which I should have remembered because it literally is always right by my birthday. I'm surprised you know what shin splints are.

I mean, I wish them upon everyone that ran yesterday. - Wait, how long did it take you to get home? - Hannah, I don't even want to talk about it. I don't even know the route my guy was going. And then like, we took taxis from JFK because they were just like all lined up.

This guy refused to talk to me, too. I was like, let's figure out a plan here. You're like, we're in this together. Let's get our heads together. We're in this together. I called three different people in the back of his car. He must have thought I was insane. Or you know when they get cocky and they won't go on...

He wouldn't go on any apps. I was like, I get that we're like fighting against Uber and I'm like so with you in this fight for this moment. You should have just hung out at my place. We could have recorded the pod and then later on. But it's fine. I mean, Grace and I got home real quick because we're downtown divas. No, I mean, it took me like another hour, I would say, to like get home. I'm so sorry. What happened when you walked in and Daphne saw you?

Give us a play-by-play. Just like pure love and joy, admiration, affection. Because my baby, when I see my baby, it changes the world for me. I love my baby. And she's changed me. And I like to say that she saved me. You know, she taught me.

me about what unconditional love is and i thought i knew but i didn't can i say something controversial yeah i would love it do you know when people have a kid and they go like this kid made me a better person i'm always like so you didn't want to be a good person until you had that's fucking weird

It's like until you had a baby that you were like, oh, this baby looks at me and I should like question some things. What were you doing before? Like pickpocketing people every day? Like, what do you mean? You know, it's funny now is to think that like, I mean, I think about this all the time because we are on reality TV, but like.

now kids will be able to go back and see like what their parents were like putting on TikTok when they were a baby. And like, do you know what's like my mental illness? I'm like, yes, bitch. You better see me do that crowd work at that douchey guy up front. You better be like, that's my mama. Yeah. And just like things that like their moms say about them. I love that your, your daughter's going to be like, wait, my mom's outfits were so good. Unless she doesn't. And then I have to put her up for adoption. Yeah.

Unless I'm like go to your Aunt Hannah's and play your stupid sports. Wait, should I tell them how I got abducted basically? But it was so early in the morning I didn't know.

Yeah. Yes. Because then I need to we need to tell the Minneapolis story. OK, so the thing with tour is the show is the most fun, easiest part. Once we're on the show is the easiest part of when we are on the stage with the gigglers. Every worry and problem leaves the room. There's this. Yeah, it's this fucking incredible energy. I can't explain. Every second leading up to that is actual torture. No torture. Yeah.

All we want to do is just get on stage. So anyway, we have to wake up at fucking 4.30 a.m. to get to Seattle in New York City. And I get in the Uber. And 10 minutes in, I look down at the app and I realize he's never accepted the ride. So I'm like, oh, hey, can you accept the ride? It's still dark out. It's actually prime sex trafficking time. Yeah. But I'm like not... You would think that. I personally am like...

i don't feel like i'm sex trafficable like that's my own problems i'm just have you seen your ass you're sex trafficable okay they'd freaking love that thing okay wait i'm blushing stop i'm blushing so i basically was like sir can you accept it and he goes oh it's not letting me because he was like so far away from the pickup location that's where you said you would have jumped out of the car i would have been like and we're

And we're pulling over. Me, I said, if this is how I go, this is how I go. It's too early for me to fight for my life. So I said, that's fine. He goes, can you just cancel the ride and then Venmo me? And I said, sir, yes, 100%. Because I'm not thinking of a solution here. I hope Lenore is listening to you and listening to this right now and drafting a text message to you as we speak.

The thing is, so basically I canceled the ride and then I realized because it was like a pre-reserved ride because I reserved the early ones, it automatically charges you $100 for canceling. So now you're paying this man. So now I'm in $200. Before 5 a.m. I've spent $200, which has to be some kind of record. So I'm sitting there and I'm just like...

I have to speak up for myself like Paige does, but not to that extent. So I go, sir, they charged me a hundred dollars. And he's like, oh, can you like question that? This is during like a 50 minute drive to JFK. So there's a lot of time for me to jump out if I wanted to. Right. And I'm just like, I'm not, I'm honestly too tired to jump out of the car. I don't want to.

So he just takes me away and I message Uber like, hey, can I get a refund? And they don't respond because it's 4.30 a.m. And no one should be doing anything. Might as well sex trafficking people at 4.30 a.m. So anyway. The sleep schedule that sex traffickers must be on is probably debilitating. Yeah.

Like, you guys are nocturnal. So then I kind of just, like, went with it. And then we got there, and I think I actually was, like, so nice that afterwards he felt bad because then he was like, hey, like, if you want, I'll pay you back for the money. Like, he wasn't being sleazy about it. Like, he literally was like, you can text me. But then I was like...

I feel like you're a perfect example of like when you get into a situation like you go the nice route and you end up getting like a better outcome where I immediately switch and I'm like I will kill everything you love and care about.

If you continue to fuck with me. I'll end up flirting myself into like a full relationship. Like the niceness sometimes is not good. Yeah. Like next thing you know. I still think about the day I told that woman to fuck off at LaGuardia. And I relish in it. And I love it. And I hope she thinks about it. You know? No. My toxic trait is I feel like if we got kidnapped, I'd straight up be like, look.

What's going on at home? Did I tell you like when guys would DM me for feet pics, I would try to get to their psyche of like why they wanted feet pics. Like what does this do for you? Or he'd be like, hey, can I be your sugar daddy? And I'd be like, did your mom not hug you as a kid? Now listen to what happened to us in Minneapolis. Was it Minneapolis or Indianapolis? Is there a difference? Yeah.

I actually don't remember. So let's just continue with one of the Appalachias. I'm pretty sure it was Minneapolis. And so like if anyone works at the airport in Minneapolis, listen up. I think it was on our way home from Indianapolis to New York. Oh yeah, maybe you're right. Yeah. Indianapolis. Shut up. So we get to the airport again. It's early. It's like what? Like 637? Yeah.

We're early at the airport. So we get through TSA, get through security. We're walking to our gate. Hannah sees like a smaller Delta lounge, like a little literally looks like a little one room Delta lounge. And we have 40 minutes till our flight. And she's like, let's just go in there. We'll like get food, go to the bathroom. Cool.

I scan my boarding pass first. I'm waiting for Hannah and Grace. Hannah goes up. She's like, oh, I have a plus one. She's scanning her boarding pass. The lady goes, no, this boarding pass has already been scanned in. Hannah's like, okay, well, I just got here. So I don't know how that's possible. Hannah looks at her boarding pass. It says Paige DeSorbo. We're like, perfect. Awesome. The lady's like, oh, you guys booked on the same reservation yesterday.

your boarding pass has to be there. Just swipe and see. Hannah's like, nope, don't see it. Not here. I go, first of all, in the club, we all fail. Yeah.

So let me into the fucking club. How did I get up to this point of I went through TSA and security and you're telling me I don't have a boarding pass? Wait, this is actually a perfect example of you went so nice and I went this lady. If this lady starts to give us attitude.

I'm going to freak out because how is this our fault? I know, but in this moment, I realize I have no grounds to speak on because I possibly don't. I broke into this airport. So I'm like, can you just look her name up and see what her confirmation number is? Or can you see her ticket? So they're typing in Hannah's name and they're like, sorry, you don't have a ticket for this flight. She goes, you actually...

I don't exist. You don't exist. You don't have social security. You're a ghost. She's like, you don't exist in Indianapolis airport. And so I immediately am like, well, how the fuck did she get through TSA and security? Cause you go, cause she's not that smart. Look at her. I'm like, she doesn't.

have a ticket and they're like, oh, well they use your ID when you go through TSA. And I'm like, there's no way in hell that you can get through security with your ID, not having a ticket. And if that's the case, then what the fuck is the point of secure the TSA security? Like you can just let anyone in if they have a valid ID, like then why am I here taking my ID?

taking my shoes off bitch when we're standing there we have that like spider-man meme moment where like the spider-mans are shooting towards each other and we're like whose page is our bow here who's really here I'm just looking at her so then I immediately wait imagine if we like full-on went into a bit and you were like I'm page is our bow

She stole my identity. They would have hated us. No, but we actually had... He's not with us anymore. Rest in travel. Um...

a travel agent who was out to get us really had to get us and we don't know why but earlier that week he had booked like a random flight from Madison hired someone who specializes in admin to only be annoyed by the admin that we should have just done ourselves so this is the thing we were driving from Madison to Milwaukee which takes an hour for some reason he had booked me a flight

And I just was like, Grace, I have a flight booked that's not supposed to be there. Can you tell him to cancel that? And she's like, sure. When he canceled that flight, it canceled the entire reservation of flights he booked for me. It canceled 87 flights. So fast forward, the next week I had to go to Seattle and I'm going to sleep at midnight because I have to wake up at 4.30 to get sex trafficked. And I realized I don't have a flight to Seattle. I'm like...

And then I have to calm myself down and get a flight. Oh, you didn't have a flight to Seattle either? No, I didn't even tell you that because I didn't want to stress you out. Oh my God, yeah, that would have stressed me out. So anyway, the fact that we make it to any show is a miracle on 34th Street. No, truly, truly a miracle. Because here's the other thing, though, that I just want to point out.

Things happen to us that like are not our fault. That like we did not, it's not because we did something wrong. It's literally like the universe is like, how can we fuck with them today? But that's the thing. I wake up in the morning and I say, I'm putting out fires. Where's the fire? I'm going to put it out. I don't ask what, what's the saying? I don't ask for fewer burdens. I ask for broader shoulders.

I've never heard that saying ever in my life, but it does seem like it's in the Danny Burner. That is a Danny Burner. If there's something that sounds like your dad, it's that. I said it wrong, but it's so funny. My dad loves a quote, but that's it. Does he? He'll just say something inspirational and leave. And I'm like, that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. But thank you.

That's so funny. You're like talking about what to have for dinner with your mom and he just walks in and he's like, believe in yourself. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take and he just walks out. Literally my dad and my mom is like, what the fuck was that? And I'm like, I don't know. You married him. Also, we realized that airplanes are made by men for men.

airplanes are made by men for men and i'm quite frankly sick of it because like there's no reason that the overhead bin should be smaller on one side like what about the people on that side like i don't i don't accept that well now they have new seats which i was like oh cool new seats these are probably ergonomically like perfect for the the modern person um

Made for men. Like it's too high. It's too high. Nobody's shoulders are up that high. I also feel like it's not made for childbearing hips. It's just not made with women in mind. I'll say that. I do have to tell on myself because one thing about me is ever since 2020-ish, 2021, I don't look at comments unless it's

on like my photo and I noticed the gigglers are commenting and then I'm all in the comments but like in terms of like when a clip goes viral like I'm out like someone yeah or like someone else's thing of you you're not yeah no I don't look at it I also like when something goes viral you kind of like lose control so I post well it doesn't belong to you anymore it doesn't belong to me it belongs to the internet yeah now I posted a new bit that I'm working on it's still being worked out about pilots

And the premise is like how men are delusional to think they could fly planes. Like no woman would ever wake up and be like, I can fly a plane. And that's why there's more male pilots. But then I go into joking how like we should have more women pilots. But I go, but.

For me personally, and I joke like I would get lost. I would say sorry all the time whenever there was... You don't have a license. I don't have a license. I tell my dad to park it. I sometimes like to lean in on...

like women's stereotypes as a way to kind of like joke. Yes. It's like you're kind of leaning in and playing with it and you're not, if you're always like, no, women are perfect. That's, it's not the game we're playing. We're trying to show women are multifaceted. Um,

obviously women are fucking amazing pilots, right? But I'm joking about how I would say sorry all the time whenever there's turbulence. Like those kind of things that like, it's a fuck, it's a joke. And I'm not trying to be like, sorry, I got worked up. It's a fucking joke. It's a fucking joke. It's a joke. We're breathing. We're breathing. We're breathing. We're growing. We're learning. We're changing. I'm sorry women are not emotional. So we got on female pilot talk. TikTok. TikTok.

Because I started getting noticed. And the female pilots are not happy with me. I like occasionally will accidentally see something where people are really mad at me. The female pilot community is so mad at me. And you know what's upsetting? They're the only people I want to like me. Like a female pilot is the most powerful, cool, amazing person who's had to get through so many obstacles and had to believe in herself so much. And also, so I have female pilots currently being like,

This bitch is the worst thing for women. Wait till I get you on my next flight, bitch. You think having the wrong boarding pass was the least of your problems? So I'm so scared to fly right now. Then I'm not commenting in it because obviously I want to be like, guys, this is a joke. Like, it's women making fun of women. And I'm playing, like, it's not even a complete joke yet. Like, I'm figuring it out. I'm joking about how men are delusional. It's a sensitive time. I know. I know.

I hate to just say it's a joke because part of it's true. But what I'm joking, I'm trying to I guess I'm trying to figure it out right now with you. The joke is that people could obviously think women can be pious. Yes. It's that they're more humble than men in general. Yes. That was the overall concept. But I think it hurt people personally when I was like, oh, my dad will park it for me. It's like, obviously, that's not true. And I'm joking that people could think that because...

Like, that's what men would say years ago on why women can't be pilots. So anyway... You're just so intertwined. You're just so highbrow, is what it is. And people don't realize...

how intellectual you are with your jokes because they're light. It is just so funny because the only thing I care about is like questioning the girls laugh. Yes. And questioning gender roles and making men like feel bad. So the fact that this is somehow heard a woman pilot is really funny.

It's really upsetting for you. But I can't fight for myself because I'm not getting into it. No, you can't. The female pilots are busy. I don't want them fighting with me online. Like, fly your planes and don't worry about my little jokes. But I'm going to finish that joke and I'm probably going to have to add to the joke and say, the female pilots are busy. No, we're just trying to call more attention to how men are really delusional. I'll tell a quick story about what Craig said to me this week that really made me just question...

our humanity. This man starts talking about like production value of like movies and different shows and like shots that he really likes. And he's like, you know, I'm really into that. Like maybe one day I could do something like that. Like what is that job? So first and foremost, it's like you can't do something like that one day because you don't even know what the job is because you're asking me what that job is. But I go along with this man because I like to

You know, build them up only to tear them down swiftly. So we go, oh, are you talking about a director? Or maybe you're talking about an executive producer. In what genre are we thinking about? Are we thinking scripted? Are we thinking reality? I love the beginning of the conversation when you're supportive. I'm so supportive in the beginning. Is it a director of photography? Yeah.

So I'm really trying to get all the information in the beginning. To use it against him. Yeah. And he says scripted. And he and I said, OK, so then I think you're thinking of like a director or like the person that owns the project. And I said, hey, let me ask you a question. What prompted this love of cinematography that you all of a sudden feel in your in your body?

And this man proceeded to say, well, I filmed a TikTok the other day. And I said, I'm sorry. That is where I have to pack it in. Okay. You filmed a singular talk. Okay. And now all of a sudden you're the next James Cameron. I just don't get where the audacity. Also, Craig, if you're listening, we all know that the first two years of TikTok, you just talked about soup.

And you couldn't figure out you. I don't know if you have figured out TikTok yet, honestly. No. So I but again, I love the confidence and we have to learn from that. We have to learn from that.

It's the blind like audacity and confidence. Because you know what the hardest thing is? Showing up. That's what my dad would say. Yeah. 90% of the battle is showing up and men will show up because they won't question things. That they're not supposed to be there. Yeah. We will think of every possible thing that could go wrong and how we're not supposed to be there and how embarrassing it will be and then how we'll have to explain it to people and da da da da. Men will just be like, yeah.

No, that's why you almost got sex trafficked the other morning. 100%. Support for today's episode comes from Honeylove. Sometimes bras are just a must. There are certain tops where you literally can't go outside if you're not wearing a bra, and it has to be comfortable. Honeylove has revolutionized the wireless bra game. Their bras feature supportive bonding that eliminates the need for uncomfortable wires and unnecessary bulk. I like to get a good push-up.

when I can here and there, but I don't need the bulk under certain outfits because there are certain tops where I don't want you to know that I'm wearing a bra. There are so many times that it'll make my outfit to smooth out my granny panty lines. And obviously I love a granny panty, but sometimes the shape where it just makes me feel so confident.

But if you're looking for a more relaxed like lounge bra for every day, then I definitely recommend their V bra. It offers the support of a traditional bra without all of the wires and all of the stuff. And it's designed to lift and separate with molded cups. And it's not just like a shelf like bra that most bra companies usually are.

Honey Love is not just supporting women, it's empowering women. So treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com slash giggly. Use our exclusive link to get 20% off honeylove.com slash giggly to find your perfect fit. After you purchase, they may ask where you heard about them. Please support our podcast and tell them that Giggly Squad sent you. Elevate your comfort, elevate your style with bras that empower your lifestyle of flexibility.

You know when you discover a new binge-worthy show or a song that you bump on repeat and you have to share it with your friends so they can experience just how awesome it is? That's kind of what it feels like when you discover that Mint Mobile offers premium wireless for $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan. It's such an awesome deal and there's no way you can keep it to yourself.

Friends don't let friends overpay for wireless. Say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plan and switch to Mint Mobile. Use your phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with your existing contacts. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month premium wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash giggly. That's mintmobile.com slash giggly. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash giggly.

$45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by BetterHelp. November is all about gratitude and I'm always so thankful for my friends and family around this time, but also I don't think we thank ourselves enough. Here's a reminder to send some thanks to people in your life, but also to take a moment and thank yourself for everything you've accomplished this year and pushed through. It's sometimes so hard, especially around this time of year, to make time for yourself and it's also a

perfect time to start therapy if you haven't. And if you've been thinking about it for a while, then this is your sign to give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist.

You can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. It's a hectic time of year for everyone. So take a moment to do something for you. Thank yourself and give BetterHelp a try. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash giggly squad today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash giggly squad.

If you're the page to your Hannah, then there are certain things you would just never let your friend deal with. Men that can't commit, flaky friendships...

and your Hannah getting overlooked for a promotion. They deserve better and their skincare should be no different. Don't let your daily moisturizer do the bare minimum. Get First Aid Beauty's Ultra Repair Cream. This moisturizer really works. It's the number one moisturizer I use, especially during the cold months because I feel like it's the only thing strong enough to really combat that winter dryness.

First Aid Beauty's Ultra Repair Cream is the daily upgrade your skin deserve. It hydrates to repair your skin surface two times faster, and it's powered by barrier-building colloidal oatmeal. It's transforming your skin from dry and damaged to visibly strong and healthy in just seven days. I first heard about First Aid Beauty from a

makeup artist, and I feel like anything a makeup artist recommends, especially with dry skin, they know what they're talking about. The dry skin cycle ends here. Demand more from your moisturizer. Order First Aid Beauty's Ultra Repair Cream today. And we're excited to share a special offer available right now just for our listeners. Get 20% off when you visit our exclusive URL, firstaidbeauty.com slash giggly, and use our promo code GIGGLY.

That's firstaidbeauty.com slash giggly. Don't wait. Get 20% off with promo code giggly at firstaidbeauty.com slash giggly. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Wait, let's talk about Martha. Let's freaking talk about Martha Stewart. Okay, so...

We watched a Martha documentary a while ago. I think it was Amazon or something. It was fucking amazing. I made you guys watch it. And then I text Paige. I go, you have to watch the Martha documentary on Netflix. She goes, babe, I already saw Martha documentary. I go, I know, but I feel like this is her being interviewed in it. So it gives it a different je ne sais quoi. And Paige is like, I'll see.

Hour three into this flight back to New York, I feel the longest little skinny fingers poked into my arm because she was sitting behind me. She's never done this to me on a flight. I thought I was obsessed with you on that flight. I thought it was snakes on a plane. I thought there was a snake on the plane and I was getting attacked. The way you jolted me, like, I don't think you realized. Imagine I've been literally asleep for three hours and then I get...

Jolted from the window side. Something could have flown in. A bird could have hit me from the window. I kept looking to see if your head was lounging to see if you were sleeping or not. I like missed you on that. Sometimes when we're together for too long and then we just go cold turkey, I'm not with you. I'm like, um, hello? Wait, and before you say what you're going to say, someone literally came and said, wait, what?

What story are you telling? Is there a doctor on board?

They go, is there a doctor on board? So immediately I'm like, Paige, do not raise your hand. I'm like, look, I'm season 11 Grey's Anatomy. I don't, I'm not trying to say I am a doctor, but I'm not not a doctor. Now, one thing about me, I know when I'm not any help. So they're like, is there a doctor on board? Something was going on with someone. They ended up being fine. But in that moment, I realized. I started to think we did come from Scottsdale. That could have just been a very hungover person. Yeah.

Because they literally gave, I think it was a guy, like an IV on our flight. Which you asked for after. You're like, hey, can I have some? But I do think that in that moment, I was like, okay, well, either A,

a doctor's gonna help them or b we're gonna have to land the plane like with a stuffy nose on a flight he's like i literally need an id i can't breathe so i passed out i fell asleep page starts poking me i turn around like what and she goes first of all someone almost died i'm like did you hear that someone died and you were asleep the whole

But then you go, I watched the Martha documentary and I love her. And then you go, I'm saving it for the pod to tell you all my thoughts.

I'm just... There's something about perseverance. Getting knocked down and then perseverance is one of... You could not say perseverance just there. No, I couldn't. It's just a quality in people that I envy so much that I just think is so admirable. Once I see someone get knocked down and come back tenfold, I'm even more obsessed with them. She has had to reinvent herself so many times and...

And like people saying like she was the first influencer. She was the first person to be like lifestyle is what people want to see and like relate to. And she starts this whole media company. So many men were jealous. She literally went to jail because a man was jealous of her. Same.

Literally same. It's so diabolical. She's the first female self-made billionaire in the United States, which that alone I don't think gets talked about enough. No. That's...

That's really impressive. She was born into like a not wealthy family of six kids. Well, even when we're leading up to that, she goes on Wall Street, gets hired because she's beautiful, ends up being so good at her job, but gets like sexually harassed and like low-key assaulted throughout it. But she's like, that was just the time when you're back in a taxi with a guy who's going to grab you. And it's like, that's just what she had to deal with. That was like in the 70s. Yeah. She was like the only woman who worked at the company.

And then she creates this incredible catering company and she becomes this billionaire. She's catering for some of the most exclusive events in New York City. Yeah. But the crazy thing is then you see the DA basically be like, we need to take down a billionaire. So we're going to take down this woman for...

It was like a trade for like 40 grand or something. No, it was literally like a stock for like 45,000. Now the guy that actually was doing the bulk of the insider trading who was like knew that this stock was going to plummet because like the FDA didn't approve something.

the the da of new york city that little fuck says to this guy if you say like that martha was involved we won't prosecute you like we'll just put it all on her and it makes me so fucking mad think of the hundreds of men who are at these top companies ripping off people of like

All kinds, right? All kinds. And they go for the one woman who's a self-made billionaire, but not these big companies that are fucking taking advantage of people every day doing illegal shit. So anyway, she decides, basically they're like, if you say you're guilty, you don't have to go to jail. And she's like, I'd rather kill myself. I'd literally rather die. But I'm not guilty. I didn't do this. And...

Then Martha thrived in jail.

Which people don't talk about enough. No, Thread in jail. Here's the other... Yeah. Yeah, say what she did in jail. Oh, no. She just, like, connected with the other women. She, like, really made great friends. She was, like... She built a community garden. Like, she really leaned in. And then she left... No, she fully leaned in. She left wearing a homemade poncho. Shawl. A poncho shawl that they had made in prison. And she looked fucking amazing. Fabulous. But then... Yeah, her business fell apart because...

she yeah because she was the face of her business and obviously like she went to jail and it was in that time what was it like early 2000s maybe even late hundreds of millions of dollars but i do have to say she said in an interview she lost a billion dollars i do have to say like all in all no one needs a billion dollars but granted a woman needs it no i like need it i do say a woman needs it but also like she's

regardless without it she was able to keep her head up and for anyone i know like it's not that relatable to lose a billion dollars but like people don't try to take you down unless you're that girl

Wait, I feel like she says that in the interview. Did she low-key say that? She low-key says like... Being taken down is main character energy and that's what I've realized is that you're a star. She low-key says like if you have like a really bright light. I don't know if it was her or someone else like talking about her. That if you have a really bright light, it doesn't matter what you say or do. People automatically hate you. And they want to dim it.

And they want to dim it and they want to be like, see, she's not as great. See, she like lost everything. Like I was right. She's like basically a piece of shit. Particularly men are trying to take you down. You're doing something right. Look in the mirror and say, yes, I'm going to continue what I'm doing. The best part of the documentary was when she basically was talking about how her husband was cheating on her. And they go, didn't you make out with a guy in Italy during her honeymoon? And she was like,

First of all, shut the fuck up. How dare you? Second of all, I was in a cathedral. It was beautiful. There was a beautiful man. That doesn't count. She was like, it was emotional. We were looking at art. You're in Italy. That's what you do when you're emotional. You tongue a good-looking man with a jawline. And then she was like, so he just had countless affairs. And they were like, he said he had affairs because you had an affair. And she goes, again, shut the fuck up. I did meet one very handsome Irish man.

and had it fling with him and i was like i literally texted des i go how long have you known martha for how long have you been involved with martha stewart how long have you been fucking martha stewart so we found des's second family no i she was like he my husband didn't know about that affair and it was like nothing it doesn't it didn't even count it wasn't even real and

It did seem like she was like, he didn't know. So keep your mouth quiet. And then the interviewer was like, he said he did know. And she was like, no, no, he didn't. Which I actually believe her. Like, I believe that he like didn't know. And he was just having affairs on his own. What was fascinating about it is I do have to say the first documentary that she wasn't involved in. She actually like it made her look better.

I love that the Netflix one, like, she just sat down and she was not trying to be likable. Like, she literally was just like, this is what happened. I don't want to talk about this. Yeah, I fucked this guy. Yeah, but she was just so...

Real. Yeah. She was so herself. Do you remember about guys where she was like, I haven't had a lot of close relationships cause I don't care how men feel when they tell me about their feelings. I'm like, I don't care. It was like, she was like, you want me to be like, Oh Michael. And how do you feel about that? No, I don't care. And I was like, thank you.

thank you i don't give a flying fuck how you care about that's what's so fucking fascinating about her is that her whole life is about being a homemaker and having this perfect family when like that's literally what she doesn't have right and that's like the dichotomy of martha stewart that's so fascinating and what what makes her like the ultimate feminist kind of like me with the pilots but basically she talks about how you can be this homemaker

while ultimately being a billionaire and actually not depending on a man to make you feel important or valued. I think also one of the most interesting parts was like how the media just turned against her too and was like, she's a bitch. She's so mean. And like, she says things like, okay, but if I was a guy, like I own this billion dollar company, I want things to be right. Like I'm just telling them because like this should be done correctly. And like part of me,

I'm like, yeah, you have, you're employing all these people. Like you have this multimillion dollar thing here with like a magazine, a TV show, like a brand deal. Like, yeah, you need things, you need people to do their jobs. And like, if you're assertive, you're automatically a bitch. I mean,

not to try to figure out the whole why women get paid less than men but it's the overall concept that we are caretakers so like if a man sits down and is like give me more money they're like obviously because that man is the provider or when a woman's like i need more money they're like okay selfish cunt

because we're just seen as these caretakers, which is why day one when Des was like, you know, do you want to do the dishes? I was like, I know Martha Stewart might have done that for you. I don't. Which is why when women have a baby, the world sees them differently. And when women have a baby, it affects them. Yeah, their job sees them differently. Their careers are different. Their husbands see them differently. Like...

So like when people are like, oh, I want to wait to have children because I'm like doing this career. I'm like, yeah, because people like even if you say like, oh, it's different. It's not. People see you differently. They treat you differently because they're like, oh, but you're a mom now. And it's like, OK. Honestly, like I did low key think of that. I'm thinking that like when I have my kid, I might like.

Literally not post them at all. Because you know how like people right now who aren't gigglers, like they don't even know I'm married. And like, I like that. Like, I don't want to. I think after reality TV, I was perceived so much inaccurately that now I'm like, I'd rather not be perceived at all by people who don't like. Being perceived inaccurately. I don't think people talk about enough how it's like a very violating feeling. Yes. You feel dirty. Yeah.

You feel dirty and you feel like so I can't imagine how Martha Stewart felt when like literally she was the number one most hated woman like in America for like a good chunk of time. Loki's so iconic. Iconic. I kind of love it. And then let's talk about what brought her back into like the forefront and relevant in pop culture.

literally laughing, cracking fucking jokes. Giggling. She was asked to go on the Justin Bieber roast and everyone thought like she didn't realize that like they also make fun of you if you're performing at the roast.

And people were just making fun of her left and right. And then she went so fucking hard in her roast. I want to know who wrote that for her. She walked so Nikki Glaser could run. No, literally. I mean, it was crazy that roast. It was iconic. But yeah, it's so funny how laughter and not taking herself too seriously brought her back. And I swear to God, I don't know if it's

because I'm a woman and I'm emotional, but I started crying when Snoop talks about meeting her and being like, she's a bad bitch. Like she's been through shit and I respect her and how they connect, even though you think that they're from two different lives that have nothing to do with each other. And he's like, I respect everything about her. Well, he said, he was like, I wanted to collab with her because I felt like she elevated me. Yeah. Like,

And I thought that was so nice of him to say because it was like he or she was like so hated. She went to jail like she wasn't on the top of her game the way she like was years ago. And he was like, she elevates when she made a joke about shanking someone and then explaining how she made the shank. Right.

It was so fucking good. I know. I wonder which writers helped her. Shout out to the comics behind the scene making that. No, they literally brought her back from the dead. So anyway, watch Martha on Netflix. It's really, really, really good. Also, some pop culture news. Speaking of hot Irish men, did you see Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson are like falling in love or something?

wait see this golden bachelor shit is what i am no it's it's getting like a little bit crazy i'm he was like i'm in love with her i'm obsessed with this you know i love an older irish man who hadn't found love is he irish he's irish and i think he he's a widow so it's yeah he would yeah i'm obsessed married to the mom and parent trap

Oh, and she's the one who had the accident? Yeah, she died in a skiing accident. She like hit her head and then went to take a nap and never freaking woke up. And that's why I don't go skiing. No, it's actually devastating. That death is still devastating to me. And I think it was like almost 15 years ago. I know. It shook everyone. And I know that...

This is a pattern, though. I love people who you think like, oh, Pamela, like had the love of her life and she lost it and she'll she'll always love him. And this sad sob story. No, she's found love again. And for anyone listening, mental health moment again. You can find love again. You can find success again. You can find happiness again. And I'm shipping the fuck out of them. No, I love when people reinvent themselves. OK, I didn't wear bras yesterday.

for years like from 20 honestly from like 2018 to like 2021 I just like never wore a bra I felt like I didn't really need one they were all so uncomfortable with underwire and then one day I just grew up and I had

Everything in my drawer is skims, all my underwear, all my bras, because there are certain outfits when I go out into the public where I need a bra. And I used to wear chicken cutlets everywhere and I thought push-up bras were behind me.

But the Skims Fits Everybody Push-Up Bra truly is one of the best. It really does transform the way you look in certain clothes. And a little lift never hurt anyone. It's not uncomfortable at all. And my old push-up bras used to feel like hard and lumpy and honestly like pillows on me. But the Skims Push-Up Bra is truly my favorite. So shop Skims bras at Skims.com. Now available in 62 sizes, 30A to 46A.

If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop down menu that follows. Hot girls have stomach problems and being on tour, my stomach problems only get worse. I feel like flying is a lot and just eating gross food is also a lot. With Symbiotic Plus from Ritual, they have a three in one clinically studied pre, pro and postbiotic.

Probiotics have really impacted my gut health. I used to get the worst stomach aches years ago, like where I would have to bend over. And since taking a probiotic, I really never feel that. Their 3-in-1 prebiotic, probiotic, and postbiotic features two of the world's most clinically studied probiotic strains to support gut and digestive health.

One daily pop of the mint-scented capsule for simple, streamlined gut support, and that's all you need. It's vegan-friendly and formulated without GMOs, major allergens, animal products, shady fillers, and artificial colors. Ritual Symbiotic Plus is designed with delayed-release capsules to help reach the colon, not the stomach, an ideal place for probiotic to survive and grow. So climb back on the porcelain throne and make us proud. Feel the difference?

daily with Ritual Symbiotic Plus and get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash giggly. That's 25% off at ritual.com slash giggly. If you're like me, then you rent your apartment. So listen up to

all of the renters. If you ever feel like you're stuck in this loop of rent payments, just watching your money vanish into thin air, then it's time to turn that rent game around and start earning some serious rewards. Built is breaking ground as a neighborhood rewards program that hooks you up with points on your rent. Every month, pay your rent and watch the built points roll in. Use points to jet off on a dream vacation, put your points towards a flight or hotel stay with

500 plus airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties. You can also use your points to book fitness studio classes, redeem them toward a future rent payment. They're designed to meet your lifestyle. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbuilt.com slash giggly. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T dot com slash giggly. Make sure to use

our URL, so they know we sent you. Join built.com slash giggly to start earning points with your rent payments today.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with AutoQuote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try it at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.

When we landed in Arizona, we had about four hours before the show. I said, perfect. I'm going to watch the Meg the Stallion documentary on Amazon. Do you know the drama? I do know the Tory Lanez drama. I didn't know it to the extent. I just was like, oh, she got shot and I hope she's okay. Meg the Stallion, talk about men coming for her.

No, this man came for her. This little hobbit. He's 5'3". Yeah. No, I'll put him in my pocket and squish him. Squish him. He's 5'3". And that's besides the point, but you know what that means. It means we're scared. But it's also extremely relevant. Extremely, extremely relevant. Now, she...

She blew up in my orbit during TikTok. You know, she's blowing up. WAP, we dance to that every single day. She has a Beyonce Savage collab. You think this woman is, you know, probably on top of the world. Her mom had just passed away.

And her mom was this amazing, like, rapper. She had a job, but that night she would just, like, write rhymes. And, like, her mom was this incredibly talented rapper, but never, like, made it. And then Meg starts to rap, and her mom's like, you're a star. And her mom basically helps her, like, her mom saw her rap.

Like not break through, but like do pretty well. I think she might want to be T award or something by that point. And then the mom has a freak like medical thing happen, like a seizure. And the mom dies when she's like 19 or 20. And her mom was her everything. No. And her dad had died earlier. So she's an orphan. No. She's an orphan. And then all these great things start to happen to her career.

And then, but I think because her mom wasn't there, she starts drinking and hanging out with the wrong people. And people are fucking leeches sometimes. And there was drama. I think her and her best friend were both hooking up with Tory Lanez to an extent. They get in a fight in a car. He shoots her in the foot.

it's just like it's not funny it's absolutely not funny but it's also like what like how the fuck does that even transpire that's why everyone was like this is so weird but and she says in that moment like this was during blm and she's like if i like accuse him of hurting me like he could get killed and she just was like i don't want to fuck with the cops i just want everyone to be okay i'm glad i'm alive bring me to the hospital

right but then it starts coming out that people are like she lied she this she that and then he comes out being like she's a liar because eventually she has to be like well he would he did shoot me and like he can't go around shooting people right so the

The whole internet turns on her and calls her a liar, says she's like trying to take him down. He's going around being like, she's a liar. I just want to say that I never turned on her. I never didn't believe her. Well, then she was having to defend herself. Like, well, were you hooking up with him? What was your relationship? And it's like, it doesn't fucking matter. You can't shoot someone. It doesn't matter if I literally was married to him. You can't shoot someone. So...

It took years. And it's following her. She does SNL. She hosts and performs on SNL. This is like everyone, like, if you're a performer, that's your fucking dream. Three weeks later, she checks herself into a mental health retreat. No, that's literally me after Giggly Squad. After traveling to Giggly Squad. I'm like, I have to perform Giggly Squad and then go to Miracle. So she's, it's so crazy. You, you.

People could be so envious of someone's success, but they're battling, like, demons you have no fucking clue about. And then she wins the court case, and they show it all. They show the moment that she finds out that he's guilty. And still people hate on her because they think she, like... Because she took down a man. And it's like, guys...

Don't shoot people for no reason. At least have a reason like the Menendez brothers. No, I'm just kidding.

Oh, God. No, literally. So Justice for Megan Thee Stallion. Justice for Megan Thee Stallion. It is so sad that there are so many different stories of people being at the pinnacle of their success, like the peak of success, and they're just so unhappy. Yeah, but it's also, there's so many women who were taken

taken advantage of but thankfully like meg had the money to fight this guy yeah but i mean like i've had i've had men in comedy if he wasn't if she wasn't famous and he just did this to some like random girl like the outcome would have been completely different not to turn it to stand up but like a lot of men

because it's a little bit of a boys club will yeah for whatever reason they hook up with a girl or they don't like something a girl did and they'll tell all their friends not to book that girl and next thing you know you're like why aren't there more females or women in stand-up and it's like oh because they got blackballed early on because they gave a hand job to the wrong guy that's so that's

I just saw a meme that was like, you literally never hear girls say, oh, my crazy ex-boyfriend. You only ever hear guys say, oh, that's my crazy ex-girlfriend. Yep.

yeah someone commented and was like because they don't make it out alive which was like a little bit dark but i was like okay well that's actually so valid but not to like be spilling fucking tea on giggly squad but like i was blackballed by a male comic but i was lucky because i had an agency and i had followers in the beginning and i was able but if you were just starting if i was just starting off with no followers you would have be having you would have a different job because of a dude

So anyway, keep that in mind. And can I say something about the marketing gigglers for a second? A quick shout out. I know some girls get PR packages from, you know, YSL and fancy places that are beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. I got Louis Vuitton bags, David Yerman bracelets. I got one of the most spectacular PR packages yesterday. From? Lactaid. I opened it up.

It's lactate Crocs. I didn't even know that was possible. Oh my. No, they went so hard. No, they went so hard. Lactate Stanley and then a lactate tie. Did they give you any lactate? Yes. There were two. I could have used more, but it's fine. So I posted and then I realized...

Give these motherfuckers a raise. Yeah. So my new thing is it's the marketing girl. These gigglers at this companies who are going above and beyond. Now I go on Instagram and we just, I just keep saying, give them a raise because these girls deserve a raise. Lactaid, whoever your manager is, send this to them. I want 20 K more of their yearly salary. Cause that was spectacular work. Spectacular. Give me 17 of them. Give me 14 of them right now.

Also, when this episode comes out, it will be election day. So me and Hannah both voted early. We did we did absentee ballots. We did citizen homework. We did absentee ballots because like our schedule is so crazy. And like we're just like just in case let's get an absentee ballot and mail it in.

I'm not gonna lie it was confusing for me like I did it correctly I ended up figuring it out but when I opened it it was like it was giving standardized test no it was giving standardized test and I was like okay should I have like a practice one because like what if I don't fill the bubbles incorrectly no I got outside of one of the bubbles a little bit and I was like no no no no I call my mom is this null and void now then I was like am I supposed to use a number two pencil

I literally called my mom and she was like calm down you went to college and I was like there's a lot I didn't even think about the number two pencil that was the first thing I thought of I said did they still make number two pencils but then wait I used a pen yeah no you're you have you can okay you have I don't know I don't know but I've was never more scared also voting I do have to say

It's not easy, but they purposely make it not easy. I think that, yeah, I feel like they do that. They do it on purpose. But you guys, as women, we are detail oriented. We can be pilots and we are going to figure it out. And if you're a giggler. We can be billionaires that go to jail. We can be pilots. We can do anything. We can literally do anything. We can become directors off of one TikTok. No gigglers. You don't have to come to our shows. You don't have to listen to every episode.

We do ask if you do anything that you vote this election. Yes. And we love you, love you, love you. We love you so much. Speaking, can I say something controversial again? Yeah. Addison Rae.

I'm obsessed with her. I think Aquamarine, another hit. I think she's doing fucking amazing. Again, someone who people were like totally disrespectful of and she just kept working. I think she's amazing. One note, one note, because we're allowed to be critical of women. Yes, small note. Stop with the cigarettes.

You know, that's a very interesting thing that I feel like Gen Z is doing that like no one's commenting. Now, as a millennial, if I ever posted like an Instagram picture like a couple of years ago holding a cigarette in my hand, I'd be... Eviscerated. Eviscerated. Well, you know what it is? I think it's one of those generational things where like the generation before us fought so hard to like...

stop people from smoking cigarettes and then it's like the next generation like forgets and they're like wait that was cool why did we stop and it's like yeah so I just want to remind people I hate to be the mom of the group yeah I

It's not cool. But like young little girls are watching it. It's not cool. Well, she did like the two cigarettes in her mouth and it's like, I get it. It's art. Let's not, we can do other art. Let's do other art. I agree. And I'm saying Addison Rae, I think is going to be like one of the biggest pop stars of our generation. Like I really love her and I want her to be huge. And this is just a warning.

We don't need cigarettes. Especially because I feel like Gen Z has, I will give them their flowers when it comes to like drinking culture. I feel like they have like kind of changed like the partying aspect of like being in your twenties. But the cigarette part is like a little mind blowing. Yeah. Cause it's like, you guys want to be environmentally friendly, but you're smoking six. Yeah. Like take a shot of tequila instead then. I feel like it's as bad as a cow fart for the,

environment i mean i don't know about the environment did you see kamala just said she's gonna legalize recreational marijuana thank you finally we didn't even address the halloween show oh my god we didn't the halloween show here's one thing about your birthday though like i didn't ask for birthday admin to respond to everyone no i actually still i responded like when i had a

When I responded to all those texts, birthday texts, I'm like, this isn't you guys. I don't deserve this. It's fine. It's like, please don't do this to me right now. But low key, if someone doesn't, are you going to clock it? For sure. I'm like, they didn't wish me happy birthday. What's your ideal way for someone to respond to your birthday who's like in your friend group? What do you want them to do? HBD. HBD. Would you rather them not text you and do like an Instagram story? No, you have to text me.

don't give a fuck about an instagram story interesting interesting because i've had some people be like you better post an instagram about me yeah i think that's weird i think if people are like you didn't post an instagram story for my birthday you're a freak i agree like just send a text because also people will do it and pick the ugliest photo of you and you're like that was for you that wasn't for me

Yeah, it's also like I don't... Then you've just given me repost admin. I don't want to have to repost to this. Oh, so you're also thinking aesthetically you're not going to have a crazy repost Insta story. I don't think so. Unless if people post really cute photos of you. Yeah, and like if Daphne's in some of them, then like repost. Or if it's like a video montage. Yeah, like I died. You were the best, but you were the worst. People are...

anyway sorry that's a great c abrams reference um final thought that i wrote in the notes what is the difference between vitamin b and vitamin b2 i don't think that's um or like vitamin d and vitamin d3 no that's above my pay grade because nobody told me the answer this is the this is like the moment where i'm like men are superior to us

Men know what it is. No, I think men did it to confuse us because a woman would never just add a two. They would be like, this is what's different about it. Like, I don't want an exponent on my vitamins. No, because someone told me I was vitamin D deficient and then I bought vitamin D3 and then I was like, is this like negating it? The same thing. Yeah, so. I have no idea. I'm sure it's like derived from it, but I literally have no idea. Like a plant. Yeah. Yeah.

We don't know what's going on. So anything you just heard over the last hour, there's no substance or... No, I don't have any brain cells. My eyes are swollen. Swollen? My feet are swollen.

um my stomach is i we were on a plane three days in a row four days in a row yeah and my stomach is not okay also what time zone am i on because we went through time zone change and then daylight savings i don't know where my body has no idea time is a construction also time is a construct i'm bloated constantly no one asks if i'm pregnant which is now it's really starting to fuck with me

Nobody wants me to be pregnant. J.D. Vance was like, every girl should be pregnant but Hannah Burner. Hannah Burner should not have a family. But yeah, I'm just bloated for no one who was asking. Paige is bloated. Oh, I feel like I wanted to announce some shows coming up that we have. We have a couple tickets in San Antonio, Grand Prairie, Orlando, Manchuket, Cleveland,

Windsor, Ontario, New York. And also I just announced on the low, I didn't really announce it. I'm doing some work in new material shows in Timonium, Maryland, Irvine, California, and Birmingham, Alabama. So check out my website for that. Okay. God be with y'all. Bless up. God, thank you for giggling with us, God. We love you. Bless up. Talk later. See ya.