Giggling about husbands, friendship, and reels
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my Gaelic gigglers? Gaelic is the Irish language. Yes. I, so funny you say that because I found myself at the parade yesterday, which is my worst nightmare. We know parades are like my, the end of time is me stuck in a parade.

I'm so happy you said that, Hannah, because I'm literally on the phone with Craig last night and I was like, and I got stuck in the fucking parade. No, Craig loves parades. He goes, how fun. Did you watch? I go, what? People who watch parades are actually crazier than the people in the parade.

And that's something to be said. No, that's still... At least in the parade, you're a doer. Because half the time, I feel like people that are in the parades, it's like contractually. And we also have to do this fucking parade. Like your boss was like, you got to be in the parade. It's two hours, but we'll give you lunch. They're like, no, we have to do it every year. The people watch the parade. What do you think you're going to see? It's just people walking. He was like...

are you not going to take your children to parades? Like, and all the kids are going to go. Let's not bring our unborn children into this. I go, first of all, how will they know parades are a thing if I never tell them? I once, like, started a new friendship with these girls in New York City, and they were like, hey, let's watch the Halloween parade. And I thought they were kidding. So, like, went up to the apartment, and then they were like, let's go. And then I dipped, like, three minutes in because I was like, this is unsafe. No.

I don't like this energy. I think we had a miscommunication earlier in the week and I never spoke to them again. No, that's stranger danger. You had an immediate gut feeling. You're like, I need to find a safe space because these people are not safe. Well, I just don't like tons of people in general. I don't like when men organize things and then carry it out. Parades are homophobic. Parades are homophobic. Except...

The Gay Pride Parade. The Gay Pride Parade. But I feel like that's more of a performance. It's performance. It's entertaining. That's the one parade your people are allowed to support. Yeah, like I'm fine with that. There's a few parades in the summer that I...

No, New Yorkers are crazy. Like, if there's any parade, it could be for, like, the greatest cause, and New Yorkers would be like, I'm in fucking traffic because of the stupid, like, save the children fucking parade. No, it's so, it's one of my, it's parades, musicals.

It's like, if you want to piss me off, it's a musical day parade. But this, not to like completely go back into our mental health therapy from last week, but like, if those are your two biggest fears and hates, why did you find someone who it's their favorite loves? Is it because you want to see life from a new perspective? I think it's, I like watching the joy seep out of men. You know, I like to watch their smiles go to a frown.

So, like, when he says he really loves something, I love turning and saying, that's funny because I hate that. Speaking of hating men, I have some stats. Okay. I'm, like, about to be a woman in STEM right now, but I saw on Instagram, Shakira said something basically about, you know, she kind of disappeared for a while. Yeah. And then...

She found out the jam jelly thing. And then she like came out with a diss track. And then she did the Super Bowl. During like the eight, nine years she was dealing with this man, she was like, he pretty much ruined my career. And then I was like, mm.

That sounds like Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson, who is now in a battle, but she basically looks amazing, feels amazing, doing well because she doesn't have a man's. He was suing her for a ton of money. I don't think he won, though. I don't think so. See you in court. Mandy Moore. Was in a very abusive relationship. People don't talk about that. You wonder why people disappear? Yeah. See who they're with. Yeah.

And it's like sad, but it's true that if you're looking for a relationship, it's not always the healthiest thing. And they do say the happiest or the most successful people are unmarried women. No, there's a legitimate statistic.

that when men and women get married, the men's life... The men get more successful. Like, their level, their quality of life goes significantly up and ours goes significantly down. Like, and that's just science because, yeah, they are now moving into a home where, like, everything's clean, everything's aesthetic. Like, there's a refrigerator with, like, more than just ketchup. And so, like, their minds are blown. Where, like, we get in that situation and we're like...

Towels literally don't go on the door. They don't... Like, towels don't go over the door. I do have to say, because I can't be fake, maybe it's, like, my form of feminism. I've decided that I'm going to take on the male qualities of, like...

I don't cook. I put the towel on the door. I take my clothes. Do you put the towel on the door? I mean, it's lucky if it gets to the door. It's on the floor. I take my clothes off wherever I'm standing and I leave it. I eat food and I leave it. It's like this empowering thing that I do where it's like, it's not my job. No. Because guess what? Mom is working. No, I will say I never cook.

And, like, Craig is, like, the whole cook. Who knows? Maybe if I have kids one day, this side of me will come out where I could see myself being, like, I would love to cook a nice meal for them. Yeah. Like, I have it in me. I've done it before. No, I'm going to be, like, obsessed with cleaning their room and, like, making all their shit perfect. Yeah. Because that's an accessory. Yeah. I actually, speaking of, saw this, like, meme, and it was...

Just like a thought starter. The guy, okay, the man in the relationship makes $180,000 a year. His girlfriend, who he lives with, makes $40,000 a year. Their rent each month is $3,000 a month. The question is, how should we split the $3,000 a month rent? Obviously not 50-50 because she simply can't afford it. But what's a fair split, you think?

I actually saw this and it was very interesting. I feel like first you let him decide. You give it to him. He can say if he wants to pay it because let's be honest, we're fighting the patriarchy, the wage gap. She's taking care of all that shit. But if he's like, I'd like you to pay some. Okay. Then you figure out what you feel comfortable with. Bethany Frankel jokes. Actually, I don't know if it's a joke.

She says, like, my money is my money. And your money is my money. And I wholeheartedly agree. And there's something to be said. And, like, we're not trying to be, like, men deserve money. But, like, the wage gap is real. Yeah. It's so much harder for me to earn. Like, think about even the top ten actors of the year. Two out of ten.

out of 10 were women. Right. Wow. The directors, it was like, I'm throwing out crazy stats and this is not even true, but like- No, this is a financial podcast. It was like 10% female directors. Like, this is just, we are behind, okay, in this kind of stuff. And I think if you're making that kind of money, bro, like, pay for some shit. I-

First of all, I was like, leave in the middle of the night, change your name and your cell phone number because that's insane. I think it's insane to even ask her. I think he should pay all the rent. Yeah. And then he should be like, you get the Netflix subscription.

Yeah. Like, it should be... I also feel like when there's different points, because I've had so many different points in my life where, like, I think of my roommates where, like, I was with these finance guys and they were making the most and I was making the least. Yeah. And, like, they treated me to, like, drinks when we went out. Yeah. And, like, they always gave me the smaller room. Like, it was that kind of stuff. And now that I'm making more money, like, I'm, like, treating them. And it's this nice kind of, like, understanding. It's ecosystem. But money is the number one thing.

thing that like causes a lot of issues in relationships. Yeah, because we want it and they don't have it. I do have to say money is a mindset. It comes and goes. It has its flows. I don't know if it's a mindset. It's pretty...

It's pretty there. But we always say there is something to be said about like when you want something. Yeah. Just get it for yourself. You don't want them attached to it. A hundred percent. Right? No. Like once you can afford something for yourself. They taint things. They taint it. It's like. I need to tell my crazy manifestation apartment story. Oh my God. Yes.

Because this was a moment in time where I think I genuinely scared Craig. And it was like it almost clicked. He almost burnt you at the stake. He was like, wait, I think like you are a witch. And I'm actually like, like he got off FaceTime. Like he was like, uncut.

He was like, I think you just put a spell on me. Yeah. He's like, this is like a little unsettling. And I was like, no, I know. And if it didn't happen to me, I would never believe anyone that heard this story. I love this. So when I first moved to New York City, I lived on the Upper West Side and I used to walk by this building all the time and be like, I love that building. What a gorgeous building. So fucking cool, whatever. Fast forward, I move out of that apartment. This is like five years ago. I move into my current apartment. Great, great, great.

I'm looking to move into a new apartment. I found one. I was going to sign a lease. I have to be out in like a couple of weeks. Like I'm really dragging this on. Got nervous. Like, oh,

something just doesn't feel right. I'm not signing this lease. But I wasn't like, fuck, I need an apartment. I was like, I'll figure it out. I'm on the phone with one of my friends and she was like, I was like, oh, I'm looking for an apartment. She was like, oh, one of my friends is a real estate agent. You should talk to him. And I was like, I already have a real estate agent. Like, I've been looking. Like, I just can't find anything. Hannah's sending me Lower East Side apartments and I'm ignoring the text. Ignoring all of them. I'm like, I'm not going to Lower East Side.

And so I'm like, it doesn't hurt to talk to him. So I call, I'm on the phone with him and I'm like,

here's my vision. I just want like the most fabulous apartment you've literally ever seen. And I want it to be so girly. And I want it to look like, I want it to look like it's in France. I want the windows to be girly. I want the handles to be girly. I want you to envision just like marble. And he was like, amazing. I've literally never seen that in New York City. But like, if I come across something, I will send it to you. And I was like, great. A couple hours goes by. I'm like on looking for apartments. And my mom says, what about that building you used to love?

On the Upper West Side. And I was like, I don't even remember what the name of that building was. I would never get an apartment in there. It just would never work out. Didn't even think about it. An hour later, I get a text message from this real estate agent sending me an apartment. He was like, hey, I came across this. Thought you'd like it. I open it. I'm looking through it and I'm like, this is my apartment. I love it. I look at the map. It's in that building. What?

And I'm like, there's just... Also, for people who aren't from New York City, there are 4 trillion buildings in New York City. No, there's 8 million apartments. I'm like, there's just like no way this is happening. I have to go see it tomorrow.

I text him back. I'm like, I must go see this apartment like in the morning. I must. I love how you turned it to Eloise. I must go. It's literally my dream apartment. I'm about to walk into the apartment. He gets me an appointment for the next morning and he goes, okay, before we walk in, like seriously, poker face. Don't even act like you like it. Like be an adult. Wait, I'm so not in with the strategy of these things. No, I'm so not in. So I open the door. I walk in. I look at him and I go, I love it.

I'm obsessed with it. You just start piddling yourself. You just pee. I literally, I started like tearing up. I was like, no, this is my apartment. You just started humping the refrigerator. So now I'm like, I'm telling Craig this story and I'm like, so like I got the apartment and he's like, wait,

What? Like, this is, like, really scary. So now I'm going through, like, in New York City, like, now I have to get my first child. Like, I have to get pregnant, give it to them to move into it. It's one of the most insane things ever. Wait, what's the deal with playing a poker face? Like, so the realtor doesn't try to, like...

Charge you more? To see if, like, I could get, pay less rent a month. Oh, okay. Like, oh, it's good, but, like. Okay. Yeah, I don't, I'm so bad with that shit. I'll pay over asking. Like, I'll be honest. Like, if I don't like something, I'm like, let's go. And I walk in and I'll be like, this is free, prove it. Yeah. And so I'm just like.

hoping that the I have to like go through like a board process. I'm annoyed because like it is beyond gorgeous like I was showing my mom and my mom's like this is beautiful and so you but like it's so far from me. It couldn't be a further point. From where we record the podcast from everything you do in your life but

I do think it's very, that's very you. Like you're like, I will pick the uncomfortable heels because they look so good with this outfit. Yeah. Where I'll be like, I don't care how beautiful the heels are. I don't want to be uncomfy for four seconds. I love the Upper West Side. Yeah. People hate it. Yeah. It's kind of choogy. It's beyond choogy. It's a retirement home. Oh no. Are you going to bring back the Upper West Side like how you're bringing back the poof? Let's talk about how I'm single-handedly doing the poof.

Let's talk. Let's. Let's. Let's. You know what? I thought you were going to have a different emotion behind this because... Wait. Wait. You know I have a widow's peak. No, but miss I'll throw a clip in wherever the fuck I want. I...

I feel like you would be excited to get the poof coming back. You know what? I think I have PTSD because I was like seventh grade. I had braces, acne. Like the poof literally was like showing more of my forehead acne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it was just like a weird time. It was a weird time. I think I was getting bullied. I don't remember. I just know that it was a difficult time. I don't know what you want me to do because I have bangs now. Well, how is your relationship with your bangs? Because I do all these bits about like –

and girls getting bangs and people are yelling out Paige is she okay and I'm like look I can't speak for her certainly not okay ever I think first and foremost we should get that out there

So like really the bangs thing for me, like I could be... Are you having fun with them though? I'm having fun with them. I love them. Okay, amazing. I think like it's who I am now for at least the next couple of years. Years? I think so. I love that the only thing you like to commit to is... Hair. Hair. Which like grows back. My favorite thing though is when you did that like...

plastered on your forehead like during fashion week I thought that was so sick and cool I loved that well my hair grows so fast so I like always have to get my bangs trimmed oh my god that's so hard for you it's so much she's like my nails and my hair and my boobs they're just non-stop growing and that's why women shouldn't have to pay rent oh

Oh, speaking of, period update. The gigglers were so in my DMs. The gigglers were really worked up about it. No, really, really. They were texting me and I was like, I don't know. They were like, please do not take that vitamin and please go to like a different doctor. Thankfully, before like I saw all these messages and before I even started taking that vitamin, I went to like my natural doctor. Okay. And he was like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, don't take that. And so he put me on this vitamin regimen. Mm-hmm.

to try and help my hormones. And honestly, I've only been on it for like a couple of days, but I already feel. How many vitamins do you have to take in the morning? Like, do you feel like I take two in the morning for my period? I take two in the morning and two at night. That's just for my period. But then I take four in the morning for my hair. Someone was saying like, it's so embarrassing to get older because you're like, congrats on like basic things like you're getting your period to work or like congrats. You slept for seven hours last night without having to

No, it's so embarrassing. Yeah, I also saw something that it was like, if you have a boss, isn't it like low-key embarrassing, like asking for a day off? No, it's like, daddy. Like, hey, do you actually think that I could... I hate that. No, but that's... Boss shit is crazy. It's like dominatrix. Like, the bosses get off on that shit. Like, well, you gonna ask me to get you out, get through me? I would love...

How humbling, like, if your husband has a boss and, like, he has to ask his boss for something. Like, how? What a great opportunity that is for you to make fun of him. That's an egg. Yeah, like, oh, you gotta ask your dad if you can go. No, like, I for sure... So if they're ever pissing you off, bring that up. Yeah. Hmm. Ooh, good. Put that in the back of your head. I do have to say, I want to give an update from last week because, let's address the elephant in the room, I did have an episode. Right. And I feel like I can't just...

continue like nothing happened you could you can we do a lot we do a lot yeah but I do have to say the gigglers sent me some of the like most like heart-wrenching beautiful messages just literally being like Hannah like we're here for you like we love you like vibes so I want to let the gigglers know kind of how I

recovered in a way I went to my therapist that day right after and she actually told me the coolest thing about anxiety because my thing is it became very physical where like my brain was kind of calming down but my body was still like question did you have trouble like not seeing where you're like no yeah I was dizzy yeah it's almost like you're like I was lightheaded and then I was like nervous about like putting sentences together I just like freaked the fuck out

And I've really lost my mind. And you know what? Nothing stays. Right. Some would say my mind is still lost, but it's a little better. My therapist told me to like push on a wall.

Okay. I know that sounds weird, but like I was like, okay. And then she was like, no, like really push. Like you're really putting all your muscle into pushing down this wall. And like all this internal like nervousness. Yeah. You almost like put into the wall. So if anyone's having a freak out, just like go to the bathroom and push on the stall. I've also had therapists tell me if you're starting to have a panic attack, like make sure your feet are like planted on the ground because sometimes it can like ground you.

yeah and to not be like dizzy then she also told me there's like the breathing technique of like you visualize a square and you breathe in for four you hold for four breathe out for four hold for four navy seals do it navy seals do it and I was like okay I'm just nervous about a fart joke I feel like it's a bit dramatic they get locked in like cages and I'm just trying to get through the fucking day but you know it it was crazy to me and like

I guess whenever something happens to me, I think I'm like the only one that it's ever happened to. And that I'm going through the hardest thing that could ever happen to a person, which is so annoying of me. Like, it really pisses me off that I do this because I'm like, there's no possible way you're the only human in existence that this has happened to. But I was dealing with a parade on Saturday and you didn't think about me for a second. You know? No, I would have been so worried about you. That would have added to my anxiety. But it makes me think like.

The girlies are out here just, like, fighting for their lives, not telling people. Yeah. Like, we're so strong. Like, the amount of girls that were, like, kind of, I had to freak out two days too. Like, it's okay. It's also so crazy that, like, at any moment in time, you could be looking at a girl and she could be having...

the craziest war inside of her brain. No, I'm crazy. And just being there like, I'll be at an airport and I look at everyone and I'm like, everyone's so at peace except for me. Everyone is just loving their life when meanwhile we're all fighting our demons. So anyway, I appreciate that so much.

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There's a lot of front page news to get into. I don't know what's going on with me, but like for whatever reason, and I couldn't even think of the last time I've been this invested in a story, but for whatever reason, the Kate Middleton stuff has me on edge. So apparently in the next 24 hours, we're supposed to hear something. Okay, well they better produce this woman because I'm starting to get like really...

uncomfortable with it. I saw a conspiracy theory that was

William was having an affair with this Rose woman. And around Christmas time when we last saw Kate, that William told Kate, one of Rose's children is actually my child. And the conspiracy theory is that Kate had a full-on nervous breakdown when that was revealed to her. She did legit have surgery, but she's not in the public because of that. Mm-hmm.

And honestly... But, like, when you have a nervous breakdown, you can take a photo. Right. Especially when they're saying, like, the woman who, like, gave birth to all of her children then an hour later was in heels, like, leaving the hospital. Yeah. See?

See ya. Yeah. Like, she can't... I kind of thought what you said last episode sounded true, where, like, there's a power struggle happening, because they're saying Prince Charles is dying. Right. And that he's about to croak. Yep. And then... William will be... William will be... And I think maybe she's asking for some shit to be like, if I'm queen, I need this, this, this. I don't know... I love it. I don't know anything about the royals. No, me either. It's just like... But I feel like... I feel like...

Soon, the Brits are getting together. They're going to go outside that castle. Like, I'd be like, come on. We want to see her. She's napping. No, or she's literally asleep. Or she just literally was like, I'm taking a social media break, like Selena Gomez, and I'll be back. This is, I saw so many memes that it was like me, when I take a social media break, me thinking this is what's happening on the internet. Like, everyone's looking for me. Wait, that's so funny.

It's like, where is she? The one thing that does help me with anxiety is when you remember, and this sounds so morbid, but like literally no one cares. No, literally no one cares.

I realized that like one time, like when, you know, like if you go to a workout class or like you go to like the gym or something and you're like, oh, like you get a little insecure about something. And then like you just think like, oh, that's so funny because no one's looking at me because everyone's doing that in their own head. They're like, oh, do I run weird? Like and it's like no. I even think about like some people will not want to do things in their life because they're afraid what people are going to think. And it's like,

I mean this in the nicest way possible. Everyone just cares about themselves. Yeah, like I don't care about anybody else. No, I know. I was actually talking today with Andrew Collin and he was like, I love your friendship with Paige because you guys just like love each other for who you are. Yeah. And like, that's it. You're just like selfish, dramatic, lazy bitches. He's like, you guys never ask each other questions. You both just keep telling other stories about each other, but you laugh. And I was like, I don't think I've...

I don't think Paige has ever asked me a question in the history of this podcast. And I did, but just for you to ask it back to me. I know everything I need to know. And he's like, and it fucking works. I ask you questions because I'm like, well, can I say my answer? I know. You give me the prompt because it's going to— I go, what do you think about poofs? This is the thing about poofs. No, I love that because I like being—

part of the setup like for you no it fucking works no it's oh my god people are so jealous of us people are so jealous shout out to Andrew um also I came across a Kate Moss um

Instagram account that's not Kate Moss. Okay, like a fan page? It looks... It's a girl who looks exactly like Kate Moss right now. Okay, okay, okay. Like, of her age. This is a real... She's, like, a real person. Yeah, I think it's called I Am Not Kate Moss. Great. Branding. And it's kind of crazy because...

She didn't have plastic surgery to look like her. Literally everything about her looks like her. She looks more like Kate than Kate. Yes. And she walks around and paparazzi comes. And I just wonder what that life is. Yeah. And is it legal? And then people are giving her brand sponsorships like I would. It's like, do you want to pay Kate $5 million for this or this girl $1,000? But she's being herself in the brand deal.

Yeah, but like if you just see it's like the Ariana Grande girl. How you're like, okay, well people think it's Ariana Grande. No, I would capitalize the fuck off of it. Yeah. Like why not? Yeah. Kate doesn't want to do it. And there's a Taylor Swift impersonator on TikTok. I think she lives in New York. Really? But she tries really hard. Like she does the red lip. She changes her hair when Taylor does. I've seen videos of people like crying and her having to be like, I'm...

Stephanie or something, like whatever her name is. And I'm just like, that's... I would go with it. I feel like, honestly, you don't have to deal with your own problems if you just pretend to be Taylor Swift. It's also like, what's the harm in making that person's day today? They have no idea. Has anyone thought you were someone you're not? Nice. Pfft.

People thought that. No, I don't think I've ever been like legit mistaken. People thought that you were Harry Jowsey's ex-girlfriend. Yes. No. Georgia Hazarati. Gorgeous. I forgot about that. Gorgeous. But she was literally blonde at that time, so I don't know what that even was. That was crazy. Also, people say you look like a combination of Kendall Jenner and Olivia Culpo. Wow. That's a good one. I might have made that up. No, I love it. Let's stick with it. No one's ever thought I was anyone. Yeah, Brooke Shields.

Isn't it? Yeah, that was when I put my hair to the side. Right, on the side. Also, Gypsy Rose... Gypsy Rose is off social media. I love how this girl came out of jail and was like, you know what's worse than jail? Social media. No. She's like, I can't take it anymore! That's so fucking...

She's like, I'm in a jail of my own emotions. I knew it was a matter of time. I was like, TikTok is not going to let this girl keep going. Like, there is just no way that people are going to let this girl continue to enjoy her life. I didn't even know people turned on her. Sweet, sweet baby. Here's what I will say, though. When she first, like, emerged into the public and, like, was doing a bunch of podcasts and was, like, on red carpets, I did think, like—

Okay, but this is a little weird. She murdered someone. And maybe she didn't do it personally, but she was smart enough to cook up a scenario. People got excited about it, and then she had that, like, raw, just, like, naive energy of, like, oh, people want to see me on a carpet? I'll go. You remember when every influencer was, like, shoving their phone in her face and, like, doing a TikTok with her? And I was like, she'll plot your murder. She's done it before. Like, that's insane to me. I mean.

I think it's good that she got off social media. But then part of me is worried, like, financially, is she going to be okay? Like, can she get her normal job? I think she's fine. She's married. She talks about, like, how much sex they have. I assume he has a job. But we just talked about how being married is not good. Look, she dug her own grave. No pun intended. No pun intended. But, like, I...

I'm going to stay out of all things Gypsy Rose Blanchard because it's just... It's eerie to me. No, I know. It's like the internet is so... If someone said 10 years ago, like, this girl's going to be famous because she killed her mom and everyone loves her...

I'd be like, no. No, they say it's very hard for scripts to get picked up on Netflix nowadays, but if you murder someone, you'll probably get a starring role in a Netflix documentary. No, it's... And that's not okay. No, it's not okay. Not okay. That was not good. That was a weird time. That was a weird couple of months, and I'm so glad we didn't, like...

We were like, no, this is weird. I mean, I don't think we were invited, but we didn't partake. No, certainly not. But they knew. They knew. They could have reached out to us. Hannah and I got invited to the White House. Hannah and I got invited to the White House. And when I saw the email come through, like... It was like capitals. I think everyone was just as shocked on the email chain as we were. Like, all of our agents were like, this is a crazy thing, but... So you get asked to do a lot of random shit, and a lot of it is, like, fake and corny. Yeah. So I thought it was a... I thought it was a bit. A bit.

I thought Ashton Kutcher was pranking us. Yeah, I was like, what? And you want to know what? I appreciate the recognition from the White House because they were like, look, we're in a pickle. We're in a real bind. Who can save the country? We should call the Giggly Squad. You know? Like, everyone.

I respect it. Who at the White House is a giggler? That's what I'm trying to think. Yeah. Because I'm like, okay, there's a girl there who's just typing away. And she's like, hmm, what if I just added them to the list? So what happens is Paige is like, we're going to the White House. Yeah. Then I'm talking to...

My team. Yeah. And they're like, we don't think you should go to Washington, D.C. Because first of all, you're having a mental breakdown. Second of all, like, you have to travel in three days to go to do your Netflix special. And they were like, we don't love you traveling around with Paige and doing God knows what you guys do. So then I messaged Paige. I'm like, I can't go. And you call me and you're like, Hannah, we're going to the fucking White House. And then I go, OK. I have bills to pass. I don't.

I have things to do tomorrow. You're like, the poof is back. So then I call my manager and she's like, I don't care that you and Paige made this agreement. You're not going. And I was like, okay. Then I texted you and I'm like, I'm not going. And then I actually felt like you were upset for the first time in a while with me. No, I was so mad. But then I had the mental breakdown and then I texted you and I was like, I really don't think I can go. And I was like, no, no.

Oh my god. It's okay. Don't even give it a second thought. So, update on our lives. I just flew in from San Jose. I had a great weekend of shows. I'm very happy. It calmed me down a lot. Paige is leaving this podcast. To go to the White House. To go to the White House. To go to Washington. On her own. I've left her to fight for her life in politics. I started panicking because I was like, okay, well, if I don't have a friend, I can't go. Okay.

You know, like, I can't go to the White House without a friend. So I'm making my assistant come. Okay, it's a woman's initiative. Yes. What are you going to initiate? Just, like, vibes. Vibes. Probably, like, I think we should focus on vibes for 2025 and, like, or 2024. Probably both. What year are we? Sorry. Sorry.

But also, I was envisioning an Elle Woods pink, but you didn't go in that direction. I'm going more Jackie O. Ivory. Yes. And it's going to be a moment, I think, for my family. It's honestly the reason I'm going. Do you think in a past life you were a president's wife? No, I think in a past life I was like—

part of parliament in some like someone's wife in parliament like i feel like i lived in europe okay yes yeah i didn't fuck with the declaration of independence maybe it was like royal maybe like a prince maybe maybe who knows who knows we we still need to do that our past lives we need to do past lives and we also need to know our colors and you know for winter or spring or summer or fall or warm fall or

A cold fall. And I also texted Kennedy to get the name of the psychic because all three of us can't remember. I was about to ask you. Okay. So I randomly... I like when random things happen to me. I always think it's like for a reason. Well, yeah. So like I randomly ran into a comic who randomly said he was talking to a psychic who he said randomly worked with the Kennedys and you randomly were looking for a psychic at that time. So I don't even know the psychic. I just gave you the number. Who gave you the...

Wait. It was a comedian. Originally? Yes. Wait, Hannah, I got this story so wrong and I DM'd Kennedy. Ken Urich? Yes.

And I go, hey, did you give Hannah a name of a psychic? And she was like, uh, probably. And I was like, do you remember? And I was like, do you remember what his name was? And she was like, send me the number. I don't think so. And I was like, yeah, we can't think of any either. No, apparently. No, we're all so stupid. He's a psychic who like predicted the Kennedys. Okay, I had it. The presidential Kennedys. And then I need to DM Kennedy and be like, false alarm, false alarm. I love how she goes, yeah, it sounds like something I would do. She's like, doesn't ring a bell, but like probably. What's his name?

Why do you need to know his name? Because when I text him and say, like, I'd like to be like, hi, Brian. You could just be like, that's polite. What? I'm going to do the whole reading not knowing his goddamn name. Well, you can be like, I apologize. It's been a couple of months. Can you please remind me your name? I've lost my phone.

Okay, I'm going to caps it back. What happened that made you... No, it wasn't even for me. One of my friends asked me and I was like, wait, I had a great person. I got excited. I was like, ooh, we're going to get a life. No, I'll do another one in a couple months. I'm not ready yet. Yeah. Isn't it funny? I have too many vitamins I have to keep track of. I can't switch to psychics yet. Wait, I like bought all these vitamins, like vitamin D and stuff, and I just like can't get myself to take them.

It's a mental warfare. You know how like now you love hip hop yoga. You know, like when you get to hip hop yoga, you're like, wow, the hardest part was literally convincing myself to put the fuck my pants on and like tie my shoes and get here. That's how I feel about vitamins. Like it's the stress in the morning of knowing like I have to take my vitamins. And then some you have to eat when you take it. Yeah. And like I'm not hungry sometimes when I wake up. And you get a little nauseous for like 20 minutes, but you're fine. Yeah.

No, life as a girl is so hard. So Paige is going to the White House and I, after this podcast, I'm going with Grace to do my fitting for my special. Now people, I never knew what a fitting was. Like back in the day, the girls were like, I'm having a fitting. I'm like, what does it even fucking mean? Basically means you're like

It's really annoying. No, it's actually a lot of work. You know when you go to Zara and you pick out stuff you want and then you go, you know what I don't want to do? Try on all these clothes. I'm going to just go home. And then if something doesn't fit, I'll bring it back. You have to basically in front of a stylist and other people put on outfits that you didn't even pick. That you didn't pick. And then they lie to you and tell you that looks good. And then you have to be like, I actually hate myself in this. You have to read through the lines like...

does it look good or like it's really stressful and if your hair and makeup isn't done you're like you have to then envision it and then so you're like yeah you look like a mole rat and you're just like what's what's going on and it's a lot of pressure because everyone's judging what you pick yes

And so we're going to be sending you photos during it. Yeah. But then this week, I'm doing a self-care week. Hair done, nails done. Everything did. Face gym. And then you said that you're going to, you like, you'll say things to me. Yeah. And I know it's not like for reals. Yeah. But you go, I'm going to do your spray tan. Like, give me an example of something else. Actually, now I'm a little bit offended. When you're like, oh, I'm going to come like visit you. What?

When have I ever said I'm going to come visit you? First of all, I feel like the only thing I've ever like... Last summer. Okay, that's true. But that's because I'm a sleepy girl. But we will together be like... I wanted to come to your fitting. You changed it four different times. But I've literally had it in my schedule. Did I strike a chord? Did I strike a chord? No, but... Because I strucketh a chord. A chordeth was strucketh...

God damn it, Andrew Collin, you put, he is preying on the demise of us. He's like, you know what I've noticed? She never asks you anything about you. No, he didn't mean it like that. And you're like, yeah, and I,

never comes anywhere that she says she's gonna. No, he didn't. No, but what I did say was that I was gonna give Hannah her spray tan. And I just felt like you're a very busy person. No, I haven't. And people are professional spray tan artists. They're women of the arts. I just feel like you, though, who never gets spray tans, I don't recommend you do it for the first time like that. Because mine is, I'm literally baking in it right now.

it right now. So you've been crushing it with your spray tan. Crushing it. So this is my question. How are we going to do it? Like, am I like labia out? Well, we want to vlog it. So definitely labia out because we're on YouTube now. Like, are you going to just like... Imagine we just started an OnlyFans for literal spray tans.

That's fucking genius. Spray tans, people don't talk about the emotional... The vulnerability. The vulnerability and embarrassment. You have to squat at one point and they go under you. And you've met that girl 38 seconds ago and she's like, spread them. When I first went on TV, I remember no one recognized me. And I went to get a spray tan and this girl goes...

I think I saw you on that show. And I go, what are the fucking chances? As you're one legged up and it's like they're right in there and one side of your lip is open. Yes, my lip. I have to move my lip so they get it. Also, I'm a sweater, so I'm sweating. Oh.

We'll put air conditioner on. But like, wait. No, I'm going to powder you. I'm going to do all this. You have like a whole thing. No, I'm like a professional at this point. I feel like this is going to make us closer to another level. We're going to vlog it, so maybe we'll have you. Are you doing my whole body or just the part to show? No. Like, you know when you curl your hair just in the front? Because you're like, no one's going to see the back. No. No.

No, we're two different humans. I'm going to just do my arms. Actually, I've done that before, like just done my top. But no, I'm going to do fully. Because you know I don't own a thong. I know you don't. No, I need you actually in no pants. So it's like I need you no pants, no bra. And you guys, it's fine. Like I don't mind being naked in front of Paige. It's that you have to like spread eagle and like squat and hold yourself. But I'm not doing it with the spray. I'm actually...

Actually, I'm going to be more intimate. You're doing hands-on, wax-on, wax-off. I'm doing foam, hands-on, hands-off, and then I'm going to do your face in something separate. Do you contour? Can you contour abs? But no, it's going to be great. I'm actually really excited. I'm doing Amazon Live, and then I'm getting my little butt in the car and coming to you. Actually, our Amazon Live is you spray tanning me.

The gigglers have been asking for this spray tan. It's giving like beauty some torture chamber. Like I'm hanging and you're doing something. Beauty is pain. Isn't it crazy how much... Okay, now I just want you to think for a quick second. Your like beauty maintenance that you're doing this week, that's my fucking Super Bowl. Like my beauty maintenance days are what I was born for. That's so funny because whenever I do anything that's for myself, I...

I have that little voice that goes, you're a selfish cunt. No. My mom called me once. Wait till you're laying there at face gym and there's one finger in your mouth and they're just working your fucking jaw out. Wait, did you ever see those TikToks where they're like working on your jaw and the girl starts crying from past trauma? Yeah. What if that happens to me at face gym? I go to this face gym a lot. They know I've sent you. Please don't do that.

No, and like your hips. Oh yeah, your hips. I'm like kind of, I'll blame my like anything on my past trauma. I'll be like, oh, it's my past trauma stored in my sneeze. No, I like that. I wish that would happen to me. Like you could rub something and then you don't have to pay for therapy anymore. That'd be fucking amazing. Well, that's what they try to make you believe. And if you look at one of these things, you'll get all these Instagram ads like, oh, if you open your hip,

this way. Yeah. I'm like... Wait, so what else are you doing for the maintenance? Well, I'm getting my hair kind of, like, re-dyed. I want it to be, like, not too dark, though. You know, sometimes it's dark. So I'm gonna say, like, keep it a little brighter. But we don't bleach it. Whatever. So I'm doing that on Monday.

Tuesday. What am I doing Tuesday? Oh, Tuesday I'm getting a massage, but like lymphatic drainage massage. You have to drink water, which I'm like stressed about. No, you're going to crush it. I'll figure it out. Thank you. Do you still not own a Stanley? I own a Stanley. Oh. I do. And what? It didn't.

catch on or what happened did you fill it up or you just own it you fill it up but then you're like lying on the couch you don't want to get up to like go take a sip of your Stanley I don't want to put on my couch because it could spill and put it on the ground you have a husband so you literally never have to refill your Stanley my husband's like oh yeah and with his other family so the family right now well I think that also has been tough for me no yeah well I do have to say it's if

It's difficult because he had to go to Ireland for health insurance purposes. At least that's what he told me. Sorry, he had to go to Ireland for health reasons. I don't... Apparently, he tore his ACL. Now I'm trying to be like, did he just need a break? He's recovering. No, here's the crazy thing. Like, if...

I actually didn't see him fall, which is crazy. He just appeared in the hospital. Also, like, his, we didn't, like, actually believe him. His stories are so insane. Like, if you told it to a normal person, you'd be like, oh, sorry. You fell 1,500 feet down a double block? I have to go to Ireland for a month and stay with my friend. Can't reach me. But

But the thing is, like, we do, we're on the phone all the time. Yeah. But I was, like, getting off the plane today and normally I'm excited to, like, go home and see him. And I realized he wasn't there. And I just was like, no, this does kind of suck. Yeah. Because he can't fly for, like, three weeks after. Right. So we're just kind of in this annoying stage and I'm just. How long has it been?

It's been long. I don't even think about it. Yeah. Like, I don't... It's been at least two, three weeks, right? Yeah, but my mom came last week, so that was fine as long as I have... What is going... Chris, we need a fucking exterminator. What is going on? But, um... Oh, yeah, so then I'm getting my lymphatic drainage. Then Wednesday, I'm going to this place that I sent you, Ten Piece Nails. Okay. They're, like, a really cool Lower East Side nail place. And I just have to make sure that I don't go too crazy. No. Because in the special...

You cannot. It lives forever. You need to do something classy. It lives forever. And you don't want people distracted by like a roller coaster on your nails. I think just pale pink. Because they can go off. Okay, pale pink or a French. Or a French. Or a French. But I'll run it by you. I think those are the only two options. Just make sure you're on your phone during this week because I will be sending you panic messages. And I know the lady will be like, you know what would be cool? You know what? No. No.

Can I just confer with my friend really quick? Then I have to go to Maryland. Then I'm going to be spray tan. And then I go to Maryland the day before for one show. And then the next day is the special. You're going to Maryland Friday. Yeah, so I have a show the day before just to like... Got it, got it, got it. And then life can go back to normal. I can stop fucking freaking out. One thing I learned recently is that

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These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. One of the things that's really funny that I'm thinking about for the spray tan is like mine don't last as long as other girls because I shave my legs. You're not like other girls? Oh. And so I was like, oh, I have to remember to tell Hannah like don't shave her legs until like...

The day of. Oh, God. And I was like, no, I don't. Not my friend. I don't have to remind her to not shave her legs. But Thursday. Shave that day. Thursday before I get there, you need to have done a full girl shower where it's like you exfoliated, you shaved. And I don't know if I own exfoliant. Grace. Do you remember when they were like killing turtles? The exfoliants? St. Ives.

Well, not that one. That one's aggressive, right? That one's like you'll grow a tail, I think. Like, I don't know. You'll find your childhood trauma through the exfoliant. I'll send you a good exfoliant. I just eat a Nature Valley bar and then roll around in it. Yeah, you could do that too. Okay, so exfoliate, shave. Then when you get out of the shower, lotion. Okay. And then sit and wait for me. She's a little naked in my room. I'm scared. You knock and I'm like, come here.

And you go, the doctor's here. What are those things in like when like, remember like in like the 1800s, every like rich woman had like someone that literally like got them dressed? Oh, yeah. Like that's what I feel like sometimes for you. I'm like, you have to do this, this and this. It's funny because my mom did call me at one point, I think when I was like doing the TV show and she was like, you know, Paige really puts in like effort to like be her best self. And she's like, when's the last time you did anything? I know.

And she's like, Paige got her nails done today. No, but I've always been like that. Like, pampering to me... Is priority. Like, the week before prom was...

Like, I would actually write out things for the girls. I'm like, if you do this, you'll be a star. See, but it is, like, preparation, and then you're ready for that event. It's also just, like, maintenance in terms of, like, yeah, I get lymphatic drainage once a month because it's just, like, good for your body and shit like that. And it's, like, what you can control. Yeah. Des was like, don't start doing, like, different shit the week of the special. Change who you are. Like, just do what you normally do. And I'm like—

If I was like, you should go get Botox, then like, yeah, that'd be insane. But like, these are just like, these are just also look, I fucking love a spa day. It's just I have to convince myself like, oh, it's worth doing this over like pining over like past mistakes. You have your hair and makeup book too? Yes. Okay, we're almost there. We're home stretch. We're home stretch. And I also want to let the gigglers know, I think I picked a title. Okay.

And I think I'm going to open with the worm. Wow. Wow. Like walk out worm. Walk out worm. Start the show. Start the show.

The girls know. Oh, yeah, obviously. The girls who are in that crowd know it's being filmed. It's going to be like a crazy experience because with filming, like, yeah, like afterwards I might come back on and like do extra crowd work. Like it's fully like filming a TV show. Yeah. Like we could pause if we want, if something happens. Oh, my God. Yeah. But it's like.

I just feel like so fortunate to have the gigglers because sometimes people shoot specials and they like don't have a following. Right. They don't know if the crowd's going to like them. Yeah. And like do the crowd know like what it's even like what's even happening? Like they might not even know. Sometimes they just have to fill a room where literally the girls are going to be like the girls are going to be coaching me through. No, I feel like they're like are going to make cue cards like in case you forget a line. You know, they're there and they're like it's just

And it's like the whole joke right now. Like they're in it. But you know what? Like deep down, and I'm saying this now, I feel like I'm going to go out there and like I'm going to give like one of the best performances I've ever done. I think so too. It's because like I'm going to be so excited and like fucking ready. And like I'm so fucking overprepared. Yeah, you are. But I do have to say all the anxiety and all the shit has been a very big good learning experience for me. That I'm human. You are. And I'm

Like when you want to do something cool, it's sometimes hard.

And that was Aristotle. What I'm saying is it's just really hard to be cool and not all of you can do it. I do have to say a lot of stuff you want is out of your comfort zone. So it's like when you feel crazy nerves or this is really hard or I don't want to do this, sometimes it's like if you can get past that, good things happen. No, that's so true. I said that quote earlier to you. We were talking randomly deep about something and I said, the universe rewards the brave.

And that's why I had a dirty martini last night and two glasses of wine. Where were you? I went out to dinner. With who? I went out to dinner with my... Oh, yeah, you told me. A couple friend. I was a third wheel. Oh, how was that? But we had so much gossip, we had to, like, get...

Isn't it fun when you're a third wheel with a couple because your relationship is fully perfect and then you get to just judge them. Yeah, I'm just like, what's going on at home, guys? Yeah, like any subtle thing, you're like, I don't like how he said that to you. I'm like, don't speak to her like that. And they're like, your husband hasn't been at your house in a while. We're not sure Craig really exists. Okay? We haven't been on a double date with him. And I'm like, back to you guys. Okay.

No, I went out to dinner. Have you been? It's called ZZ Club. Oh, yeah, I've heard. It was really cool. I'd never been. It's like two restaurants in one. It's basically like Carbone upstairs. So I had spicy rig and just like a bunch of...

Italian meats and then I literally sat down preparing for the White House I feel like because I was like what's on the docket today I think I suggest we start with this couple first oh because this is and then we move into this one this is a friend group that like you haven't

You're not hanging out with as often now? Well, I feel like we're... You're learning, growing. We're learning, growing. People are getting married, having babies. Yeah, so it's not like we're all going to the local club. Yeah. But this is one of those examples where gossip is a bonding thing. It's storytelling. What am I going to go and, like, give a speech about how the world should be better with everyone? Right, no, I'm like...

Like, when's the last time you talked to her? What is happening there? Is she mad at me? Does she think she's mad at me? So I woke up this morning. Hungover? No, it's like, I don't.

I can't do it anymore. Like, I feel like I've figured out, though, what my limit is, and it's three drinks. Also, wine fucks you up. A dirty martini gets the gossip. I mean, they're lucky. You don't even have to finish it. They're lucky back then the girls weren't gossiping and drinking dirty martinis because...

Then they'd really make it illegal. Yeah, and the patriarchy would never have existed the way it was. Yeah, because one dirty martini and I'll tell you everything. Can I say something so embarrassing about myself? I've never finished a Bloody Mary. Like, I'm, like, incapable. I'm, like, so dainty. Yeah. I can't finish a Bloody Mary. Like, it's so good. I like it. Never finished it. I feel like that is interesting because you give...

Chug a Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. And it's like, this came with a cheeseburger on top. Is this not the cutest drink? In college, in Wisconsin, end of the bar, it'd be like 2 a.m. and someone would be like, bloodies! That's insane. We did crazy shit in Wisconsin. But it didn't count because it was in Wisconsin. No, that would immediately... No wonder you have heartburn. I mean, come on. Wait, I want to start a new...

Segment with you. Okay. Called what I DM'd Paige this week. Okay. Because I've been like, I feel like it's how you communicate. Yeah. Like I'm. I'm going to say something. You're very active on reels. I think I haven't been scrolling TikTok as often. Because you're preparing for it to be taken away? No. Okay. I think because. Because I thought that the other day. I was like, should I start weaning myself off? Like it's like a.

I'm a heroin addict? I've been, like, kind of annoyed with the TikTok algorithm. Oh, okay. And, like, because TikTok knows you so well, like, they knew I was, like, upset, so they kept giving— I was like, I don't want to talk about my mental health right now. Yeah, how dare they? So I sent you a girl crying and texting, pausing my mental breakdown because my bestie asked which nail color goes better with her outfit. Then I sent you a gorgeous white cat. Yes. Okay, so I sent you a cat on Craigslist. Did you—like, that cat's probably going to get, like—

taken soon. Okay, well that cat should go to a good home if they want it. Oh! Because I... You're a fucking tease. This bitch is such a tease. No, I said... Okay, but no, because you're like a little kid sometimes. When I say I want to get a cat, that doesn't mean in 20 minutes the timer's gonna go off and we... Sorry, I'm a doer. Sorry, I'm a doer. I get shit done. I feel like if I get this new apartment, it gives white cat. And so I was just saying, I think like

this is the time that I would really get a cat because like it's a new space. We'd move in together. You know, like I don't want the cat feeling like it's my place and she's moving into it. I texted you the cat on Craigslist and silence. Crickets. Crickets for three days. Like who knows if that cat's even okay. You didn't even check up on it.

Sometimes I do ghost you and it's things like I don't want to respond. No, I know. No, you actually never ghost me. No, I'm just like talking to her about it. You never ghost me, but you recently ghost me this week with the cat thing and the Lower East Side Apartments. And I took that. But I saw them all. You communicated. No, that's a cool one. Did you even click into it? Yes, I clicked them all. Okay, good.

When your bestie says, guess who I just saw, but you both have 23 crushes, 54 inside jokes, and 132 people you hate. That's literally you. She FaceTimes me and she goes, you're not going to guess what happened to this person. And I go, no. I felt like we were in that movie, Ted. You were like, Amy, Jessica, Stephanie, Brooke. And I was like, nope, nope, nope. You got it.

I was like, can you believe it? You literally go, guess which person did something. And I go, how long do you have? Because we have too many people. I was saying, like, you got it really quick, though. Oh, my God. That was so good. Oh, then I DM'd you a cat that said, bonjourno. Oh, then I wrote, wait, I think my, like, meme sending game is, like, so prestige. No, I know. That's why you've made a segment about it.

And we're all here just like, yeah, I'm standing here. No, you need positive affirmation right now. Keep going. Then I did me during exams just to be sure I've trusted you with myself. And it's a calculator going 10 plus 5 equals 15. That was you. That was so me. One plus one. Okay, two. Yeah, right. I used to write all the answers to the test on the back of my calculator. Like you could write on the calculator and pencil and no one ever noticed. And everyone was stupid and like didn't.

Then I sent you another white cat with eyelash extensions on. Yep. She looked really pretty. I like think that I'm like doing the subconscious thing. Well, that subconscious, no, you're doing it out in the open. You

You're literally one step away from showing up to my apartment with a cat in a basket. Wait, I made a huge mistake. I accidentally sent you a pit bull reel, which is supposed to go to Des. Yeah. I'm so sorry for that. That's okay. I'm so sorry. That was off-brand. Like, you must have been like, this girl's lost her mind. It's when I stopped looking. I know. Because when I type in Des, DeSorbo comes up. I know. I mean, it's crazy you haven't gotten more sexts.

But then I did a really good job and I found this girl, Hattie Culp, who her whole thing is redecorating this Upper West Side home that she grew up in to be like cunty and Parisian and girly. Yeah, I love it. And I think like it's the vibe I want. It's my vibe. And then you finally responded, wait, I need this for inspo after 15 memes. You know what's so crazy is?

I don't think I like that impression of me. That impression was crazy. That was very bitchy, wasn't it? Wait, let me do it. Wait, I need this for inspo. No, it wasn't like that. I immediately hated that girl. I was like, what a cunt she is. She thinks she's so good.

Well, when you ignore me for three days, I don't see why. I'm coming over to literally spray tan your labia. I know. I actually don't care. I'm about the journey, which is the catharticness, the catharsism-ness of sending people.

things that are relatable to you and I don't need the affirmation because I will read it out. You don't need the energy back. You just, you want to give it to the world. Yes. I'm a giver. No, we're good friends because that exact thing is like if you text me and I don't respond. Oh, I forgot you didn't respond. Yeah, no one's getting anxiety

No. You've never given me anxiety and that's why you're my best friend. I've never had a moment where I'm like, I'm really anxious right now and you, it's because of you. The only time I've ever felt anxious around you is because I'm anxious and I look and I realize you're also anxious. Yeah. And I'm like, we're anxious together. Well, we're not.

own different anxious world. I'm not making you anxious. You're not making me anxious. And then like 10 minutes later we'll be like, all right. If in anything, you make me less anxious. That's why I was so mad at you for the White House. You make me less anxious. Pfft.

You make me less anxious because you don't care. Exactly. And put it on my tombstone. And that's what Andrew Collin was trying to say. Yeah, I don't care. No, friends that care too much, I'm like, you care more than I care about myself. Yeah, I'm like, why don't you just write me a life plan if you're going to care this much, bitch? Like, yeah, no, we don't care. Look at our beautiful friendship evolving and growing.

The Gigglers are the glue that keeps us together. For whatever reason, when it goes just for one of us and then the other one, I feel like this is automatically PBS Kids. I don't know why. That gives PBS Kids. Hey, guys. We'll be back next week with how to count.

PBS kids. I do have to say, we posted our first ever full episode on YouTube. Actually, we did it back in the day, but we did like... We relaunched. We relaunched. With Grace. And we're not saying that we're doing it every week. Also, the newsletter is getting better and better, I think. The newsletter is off the charts.

The way that people are responding to it. Do you want to know why? One girl DMed me and she was like, you want to know why I like the newsletter? It gives you what you need and then you can click out. Like, she was like, it's basically a picture book. It's a picture book. Like, you just scroll through. You click what you want. And it's honestly, it's nothing that you need. It's nothing that you need. So don't feel pressured. No stress. You don't even need to open it, honestly, if you're having a bad week that week. And then they just...

That's it. It's a low anxiety. It's because you want to know why? We don't care. We don't care. We don't care. And that's what the newsletter is based in. It's based in not caring. At the end of the day, nobody cares. And if that helps you sleep at night, it's been helping me sleep at night. We love you guys. Thank you for giggling with us. And we'll talk to you later. Bye.