Giggling about hobbies, high fashion, and happy crying
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What is up, my galactic gigglers? Did you say that because somebody described a dress last night as, like, galactic? No, but were you watching the Emmys? No. No.

You're so funny. I was never into pop culture. Now I'm obsessed. You're obsessed. And then I kind of was like, fell off. I'm texting you about the pre-show interviews. No response. I didn't even know. I'm posting fashion looks. I didn't even know the Emmys was this weekend. I didn't even know the Emmys is. Well, you know why it's confusing. The Emmys were twice this year. The last Emmys were in like January.

because of the strike. So there's been back-to-back Emmys. I was confused. Because it's not usually in September, correct? I think it's normally September, but it's like once a year. So these people were like, Jeremy Allen White just won a second ago. Well, I mean, I did see all the controversy. Oh, wait, can we, you guys, let's get in because, and then there was the VMAs. We need to get into this. Yeah. First of all, Jeremy Allen White,

I went to middle school with him. It's my biggest claim to fame. I need everyone to remember and never forget. Hi, Jeremy. People are mad. Yeah. Not at Jeremy. No.

Arguably at the Academy. I'm mad, I think. Explain. The Bear won for... No, no, no, no. He won for The Bear. The Bear won a lot of things, and last year I think they won Best Comedy. I could have made that up, but basically The Bear is up in comedy. Why? Hannah Einbinder's mom, who apparently is an SNL alum...

is going off on Twitter. She said, fuck the bear. I hate the bear. She said, the bear is not a comedy. It's not even dark humor. LAUGHTER

Which, like, it's not. Because some people are like, well, yeah, it's just dark and funny. It's like, no, it's just sad. I didn't last. I watched three minutes of The Bear. But that's my favorite thing is to make comments about shows I've never watched, like Challengers and The Bear. Why? Question on why. What made you turn The Bear off that you were like, eh, not for me? It was giving. Yeah.

What's the movie with Adam Sandler that's like... And Julia Fox with the jewels? Uncut Gems. Uncut Gems. It was giving Uncut Gems energy where it was like... Oh, like anxiety. Yeah. And like...

You're definitely a little bit more depressed after watching an episode, for sure, I would say. See, that's crazy, because watching Hacks, my life is light. Yep. Jean Smart is my everything. I'm so happy Hacks is winning, because I feel like when it started... There's three seasons in. Yeah. I feel like no one knew about it. Yeah, and I remember falling in love with it the first season. I'll be honest, second season, fine. Third season, spectacular. Everyone needs to watch it. But the thing with the bear...

Dan Levy and Eugene Levy. Hosted. I have a lot of thoughts. Do you think they actually get along? People said they crushed it. They're a father-son. They did amazing. But I like to have a theory that, like, they hate each other. Like, for real.

No, I think they get along. I mean, I'll go with your theory for sure. I'll make up rumors also. But I think they... If I had to put my finger on it, I would say that they're a pretty chummy duo. No, they're so cute. I want like a reality show of like their family. Yeah. I mean, they look...

They're so cute. So, Eugene. Wait, but I think it is kind of funny to think about, like, he's famous. He's obviously, like, an Epo baby. Yeah. But, like, imagine if it was, like, you and your mom hosting the Emmys. That would just be so—my mom would be so nervous. The fact that he's flaming gay is so great. Like, it's so beautiful. All men really should be.

All men are. All men really are. All men are. So Eugene Levy goes, I know some of you might be expecting us to make a joke about whether the bear is really a comedy, but in the true spirit of the bear, we will not be making any jokes. So it's known that the people are annoyed. So my question to the Academy would be... We love saying the Academy. Does the Academy choose what...

category you're in or do does the production company like say hey why don't you take a look at this show that we just put out we're putting it in the comedy category because do they think they it would be easier to win yeah like is it their team putting it up because some people like it's not the decision

All good questions. When people were getting interviewed about it, some people were just like, look, like some parts they made me smile. And you're like, that's not comedy. I have a gripe. I have a gripe to pick. First of all, no one has respect for stand-up comedians. They don't even – they have a –

variety special and it's like Nikki Glaser was nominated. I think Noah, Trevor Noah was nominated and then like Billy Joel and the Oscars were nominated. Like they don't even have their own stand-up comedy. Yeah. And it's like how are you guys not appreciating the art? With all the like specials? No. And then they have the written ones and the written ones is like a different thing. Like comedy writers? With like Mike Birbiglia. No, it was like nominated for like a written special. Long story short, they're just...

They're snooty. The Academy has no humor. The Academy has no sense of humor. So I think they watched The Bear and they were like, that's hilarious.

It's like the Oscars. To win an Oscar, you have to be in a movie about everyone dying or like you have to have like an insane fucked up nude scene. You have to like... You have to be traumatized. Someone has to be traumatized and then they're like, that is art. But like comedy, they just started to like even acknowledge it as like talent. And you know what? I'm fucking mad. Yeah. Because you know what's harder than crying? Laughing. Being funny. Yes. Because arguably, if you're a stand-up comedian...

You are acting at the same time as performing in front of a live audience. You've also written all of that yourself. So you're also in the writer room. So arguably comedians are more talented than if you're just an actor or just a singer because you have to be all of them. Period slay. Period slay. Period slay.

You just burned the house down. I'll never be nominated for anything. I don't think I will either after this. No, but I think it's... While we're at it, where's the fucking podcast section? Where's the YouTube podcast section? I wish that some nepo baby, like almost like a fire festival thing. I wish that some nepo baby would create like a social media awards. I think it's called the Webby's. Oh, okay.

But we've never been tapped. Yeah, we've never been tapped. Nothing's coming across my desk. Best fight on TikTok this year. And it's just like all the Mormon moms like, thank you so much. Or like best comedy duo in TikTok clips. And me and you get up and we're just like, hi. Wait, I love that. Why can't there be something for like this new age of entertainment? You just nailed it. New age. Because the...

older generation who runs the Academy, and I'm talking old. I'm talking like that guy who's alone in the hills just with cable and watches stuff on DVDs is making the decisions. And it's not a girly. It's definitely not a girl. It's not a 23-year-old girly that's like, this is what's in right now. So I think we just solved that. But award shows...

There's something about art and getting awards that's weird to me. As a tennis player, when you win, you won that tournament. You get that trophy, bitch. Where everyone's just creating art and then you don't even know who's voting, why they're voting, what they're voting on. It's very subjective. So subjective. I would surmise that the Academy, I have to bring it back to them, I would assume there's a lot of politics.

So much politicking and apologizing to the Academy. Yeah, and I would assume that, like, the Academy gets into a fight with some production company or some network or something. And it's like, well, let's see if your shows ever win. And then that trickles down to, like, the actors. But I do have to say, which is so amazing, what I realized recently is I know why we, like, we're, like, obsessed with each other right now. We are. We're, like, really obsessed.

Paige and I are so obsessed with each other. You're definitely obsessed with me. I haven't really talked to you since we got home. And we're obsessed with Grace and she literally hates us. No, I'm obsessed with Grace.

I called her. I was like, hello. Do you have a second? And she was like, yeah, what's up? Mom is working. What's up? No, but I realized that, like, you love comedy and you are comedy. And we've been at the airport and I've been introducing Paige. I'd be like, we're comedians. Well, they'd be like, what are you guys up to? And I'm like, oh, we're just two comedians being comedians. Well, it's too much to be like, well, we host this podcast. Yeah, I'm not going to explain. I go, look, we run around a show. I got fired. And then she. Long story.

Long story short. Long story short. The guy's like, I'm here taking your order. Like, I don't need to know. Well, I...

actually, the Midwest and Southern airports want to talk. These people want to talk. No, they want to talk. I've never seen security be like cracking jokes. I think now like on tour because we're in so many different airports and hotels that they all like seem to be one. The only way I can tell where we are in the country is how nice or mean TSA is.

And a perfect example of we touch down in New York City, Hannah is the first person to get off the plane. She's turned around talking to the person behind her.

Three people, no, five people back is a man saying, let's go. Like, let's move it. And I literally could not have been happier. I go, thank you, sir. Someone needed to get some fucking structure because it's been chaos in these southern airports. Being in the south for as long as we were to then land in New York, nothing feels better than just someone being like, get the fuck out of the way. And you're like, fuck.

Thank you for being so real. No, I was so happy. No, the South, they kept doing this thing where when you go in so many airports, you can tell when people do different things. So they were like acting like our bags had stuff in them, but then not even opening the bags and then just giving it to us. No, why did they keep doing that? No, they kept doing it. The South is like how I would picture you treat your in-laws. Not you specifically because you don't have in-laws, right? Yes, I do.

How you would treat your in-laws and then like the Northeast is like how you treat your family. Oh my God. You are a literal poet right now. Yeah. It's like the TSA agent. I go in, he's looking at my ID. Normally in New York, they just look at you like they're about to call the police and they don't. And you're like, thank you. I feel safe. Yeah. Where these guys is like, he starts reading out my address, which is obviously an old address. Also a safety hazard. No, he reads it out. And then he's like Long Island city. And I'm like, yeah, I used to live there. And he's like, okay.

Is that Long Island or is it the city? And immediately I'm like, this is not good. No, keep it going. No, I can't. But then I realized that, yeah, you love comedy and I have comedy. And then I realized, like, let's be honest. I've always loved fashion. I just have a complicated relationship. You love fashion. I love it, but like...

So like, I feel like you love fashion. Okay. This is a great, no, you're actually nailing it. You love fashion the way I love comedy. I love comedy and I can like relish in it, but I would never be like, I'm going to go try standup. Yes. You love fashion. You love seeing it, but you would never be like, and now I do fashion. I'm a fashion girly. Let's talk about my first Michael Kors show.

Your first runway show. My first runway show, period. So I didn't know. And you nailed it. Okay, well, that was very nice of you and not true. My mom texted me and goes, Hannah looks amazing. And that's a hard text. I don't know. I rarely even get that. I don't think Kim's ever said that. No. She goes, Hannah looks amazing. I was like, no, she really does. Well, I obviously tried really hard. They sent stuff. And when you walked in, there was like...

a ton of cameras. Yeah. And I wasn't in the car with you, so I started freaking out. And it's so funny, because with comedy, anything could be going on, and you'll be freaking out, and I'm like, it's literally fine, no one cares. Yeah. I'm literally in the car like... I have panic attacks before we go on stage, and you literally kick me.

You're in a car and you're texting me like, what do I do when I get out of the car? She was like, wait for me. And I was like, do I wait in front of photographers and look like a fucking loser? Or do I go in and then you're left alone? And like, I was, I was fighting for my life. But then Paige goes, you know, it's eight minutes. And I was like, what do you mean? And she goes, fashion shows, like it's not a podcast. Like it's literally, it's quick. And I was like, maybe 15. Yeah. So then I was like, okay, I can fuck with that. That's like,

100% for my ADHD. Well, because you're not there long enough to get hungry. And that is how I register if you're going to come to something or not. Don't test me because I was hungry. But you're on your way home. You're like, this is actually timed perfectly. But we walk in and they brought us straight to the seat. They were like, bitches, sit down. We're going to be mingling with other people. No. Tell them the Coco Rocha story. First of all, Coco Rocha, she's the kind of person that like, she's just...

An icon? Yeah. I can't really place where and how. But everywhere and all the time. I just saw her teaching people how to walk and stuff, which I low-key, I think we should do a modeling walking class with her. That would be so funny. That would be so funny. I'd love to see where I'm at naturally. Well, because let's talk. Some people I'm like, how are you walking worse than if you weren't trying to model walk? Right. Like you're trying to look weird when you walk. No, I've been to some runway shows where I'm like...

I can't watch you walk. I do have to say, delusional me. Yeah. You're like, I could do it. I can do it. I don't think I would, like, I'll be bloated, but I can do it. Yeah. Like, it's sports. It's like one, two. It's literally like, get a little rhythm. It's footwork. It's like.

And then it's like, it's like tennis. It's literally just footwork. It's literally technique. Like put your shoulders back a little bit. But some people, you have to be a little athletic, I think. Well, it's funny because like when you're at a show, you can automatically tell like, wow, that girl has a great walk. Like she just looks so good walking down compared to like other girls where you're like, oh, she's like a little too like dancey. Some of them like, they gallop. Yeah. And I like it. I like it when you, and I like the hip, I like the 90s. I've been on TikTok supermodel walk 90s once. You can tell when a supermodel walks out during

a runway show. Oh my god, when Irina Shayk... Perfect example. So you nudged me because I'm all over the place. Yeah. Lizzie Lohan was there. I also sent her a DM but she didn't respond. You did? You sent her a DM? Yeah, because she was right there. Because you fully convinced me that she was looking at us and that she listens to Giggly Squad and she loves Giggly Squad. Yeah, I made that up but I think she does. She goes, no, no, no, she listens to the podcast and I go, that's crazy because she just walked right by us and called security on us.

I felt like she was making eye contact with me. I think she was. I feel like she was. Or she was looking at Coco. I feel like she was like, I feel like I know her, but where do I know her from? Like, she was one of those. And then I had an opportunity, but I freaking chickened out. I do have to say, she looks...

So good. Incredible. In person. Because you know the photos, you're like, yeah, she looks amazing. But like, you know. There's got to be a little face to there. She looks incredible. And it makes me so happy. It makes me so happy. She's just the best. But sitting next to Coco Rocha.

is not what I wanted for my first runway show. Like, I wanted a random journalist who was just, she's everything to the point that like, also they don't have separate seats. Like, you're all on a bench and there was not enough room for her to sit and my fat ass was not about to get smaller. She slithers right in. Slithered. You were like, oh, I think, let me see if someone can move. She was like, it's fine. And she just sat down. You were like, okay.

And then I kept, I like said hi to her or whatever. And then she got up. And then I started to bit with you being like, Coco Rocha hates me. You changed her name. Coco Rocha. Let's get going. Ro-co. Ro-co. She's going up to Michael Kors. She's saying, who is this girl you sent me next to? She comes back. Could not be nicer. So nice. Laughing, like big personality. And then I was copying her during the show. Did you notice? No. Well, I didn't know how to like.

I didn't know what to... I told you to sit and be quiet and watch. That's not how I move about this life. So first of all, these fashion shows are so funny. Well, I loved it. I love creativity, so I love that it was creative. And as people are going down, I...

I wanted to acknowledge the looks that I like really like. Oh my God, I forgot about this. So at one point I was like, yes, like let's go. No, Hannah turned to me and goes, do we ever clap? Do we not cheer? I said not till the very end. But like when I see something I like, I want to be like, no, if you cheered during it, they'd never invite you back. Well, I was this close. Actually, some things were coming out of my mouth. Yeah.

You were mumbling a little. I tried to hit you. Well, Nina Garcia was across from us. Yes. Who I convinced was staring at us, but she had sunglasses on, so I made that up. And... You were sitting next to Camila Caulo. Yeah, Camila Coelho. I told her that I'm, like, the biggest fan and my mom's obsessed with her, and I just, like, think she... I don't know if this sounded creepy. I was like, I watch everything you do, and I just think you're a really good mom. And she was like, thanks. Aw.

Honestly, I think I did better with Coco than you did with Camilla. No, I did such a creepy. I was like, I've been following you for years. I love everything you do, everything that you post. I'm such a big fan. Me and my mom always talk about you and your baby and what a good mom you are. Yeah, I'm calling the police. I mean, I just kept rambling. She goes, thanks. Wait, do we want to talk about how, well, Michael Kors didn't even notice me. Anna Wintour walked by us. Wait, let's tell the Michael Kors story because it's so fucking funny. It's really funny.

Now I understand the stress that the gigglers feel like in like when they're about. In a meet and greet. Yeah, in a meet and greet because like before I'm like, okay, I have something to say, but should I say that? Like, is that weird? Is he even going to care? Like, whatever. So we walk up to like take a picture with him. He's staring right at me. I almost feel like he opened his arms to me. Well, he goes, wow, you look so pretty. I think he said that. He was like, you look amazing. I was like, oh my God, thank you so much. And I was behind like, hi.

He didn't notice me. I don't think he knew I was in the photo.

I literally felt like your head just popped out. Hi. And I was like, I'm talking to Michael Kors. Please be quiet. And so then I said like. But I was good. I stayed quiet. I said like the bit. I had seen him at our Italy hotel like two years ago. And my dad was like, go up to Michael Kors. And I was like, I'm not just going up to Michael Kors. Tell him you like fashion. Yeah, what am I going to say to him, dad? Tell him you put together outfits. You wear his stuff, don't you?

Don't you? I'm like, dad, stop. I can't. So whatever. So I said that to him when I saw him. Do you know what's the problem? If you practice something, it never works. It never works. Which is crazy because that's all I do is stand up. But like, you start doing a monologue and...

He wasn't... He was like, he's working. Yeah, he's working. And you were like... And I got it. You got a little nervous. And then I was like, it was too much. And then... And then we went to take a photo. We go to take a picture and then I look at the pictures and we got back, Hannah, he didn't even put his arm around you. So... Okay, this is the thing. And by the way, Michael Kors, I'm so obsessed with you and it made me love you even more. At one point,

At one point I realized I have my hand on this man. Like I have my sweaty hand on his back and I realize he doesn't have it back on mine. I'm just holding my go-kart. I think he thought I was your security guard.

By the way, loved how the photos came out. Loved. I loved everything about it. I post them everywhere. No, there's nothing better. No, fashion shows are great because it is you go, you do the look, you get the pic, you sit for seven minutes, and you go. Or you go to your next show, which I've never done before. But I do have to say thank you to Michael Kors because for believing in me. No, literally. Let's bring comedy to the runway. No.

Apparently, well, Tiffany Haddish got in trouble, comedian, because she got up and walked. Because Kathy Hilton told her to. Because Kathy literally bullied her. Literally bullied. Here's the thing, too. Peer pressure. Peer pressure. Does it never end? I feel like if Kathy Hilton told me to do that, too, I'd be like, Kathy, I can't. It would feel like reality TV to me where I'm like, I know how to make a good moment for the show, but social media is going to hate me for three months. Um.

Oh, God. But yeah, Leslie Jones apparently also yells when people are on the runway. She'll be like, that's amazing. I love it. No, not the fashion community. You're not supposed to. So...

It's kind of like tennis. There are certain times during tennis you don't speak. You don't cheer. Yeah, it's like when someone yells in the middle of a point, I literally am... It's so funny because I'm such a snob when it comes to tennis, but everything else I'm like, come on, let the people have fun. But tennis, I have a stick up my ass. Well, because that's like a real...

rule like a real like it's no it's a rule like that's the same thing if you were got yeah if it was a golf tournament like no one would do that they have respect for the players yes it's out of respect and I guess you know what I like to show respect and I guess I felt like I wanted to cheer on some of the models but it would like throw them off yeah also Lisa Rinna was there yes her daughter walked her daughter walked and Delilah was also there I think Delilah stunning

I was just going to say, I don't think she gets enough credit for like,

One, how gorgeous she is, but like how uniquely gorgeous and like striking and like cool. It's cool. She always has her hair really cool. She's always like doing a cool look. Yeah. It always looks like she's like, oh, I wanted to try it today. Do you know what's funny? I didn't really follow her. I didn't know that much about her. And then I saw her at the fashion show and I was like, wait, I want to be her friend. No, she's very cool. Like part of me was like, oh, we should say hi to her. But then, but I think I was, I think the Michael Kors team was like eyes on Hannah. Yeah.

I also... That's what they were saying at their walkies before the show. Make sure she doesn't go backstage. I had this bag that was so cute. And, like, I had a ludicrously capacious bag, which is, like, very in right now. Apparently suede right in. But then I didn't know where to put it. And obviously I didn't have room because, like, poor Coco Rocha was trying to fit.

So anyway, Coco, we want to do a YouTube video of you teaching us how to walk. I would love it. That would be so fun. I have a question for like the Gen Zs and the millennials. I'll answer for Gen Zs, yes. When we're putting our photo dumps on Instagram now, are we putting music to them? Because in my head...

It's insane. It would be an insane move for me to put a song attached to a bunch of pictures of my cat. Now, I have seen Gen Z kids, the people doing it, but I'm like, is that okay because they're Gen Z? Well, yeah, I also have to factor in you and your brand and your personality. Grace, what do you have to say?

She's right. This is the thing. If it's funny, it's good. Okay. If you're literally like trying to look cool with a song, it's not cool. Got it. Like for example, I did the Space Jam song. Oh, you've done a song. Oh, I thought that's why you brought it up. Oh. I've been doing songs. No. Wait. I've been doing the songs. Do I not like your Instagram? I don't know if you've

Did you block me? How have I not seen this? So when I was throwing a pitch was the OMG song that a Mets player sang. You know what my problem is? I never have my sound on. Yeah. So why don't I actually feel like I'm not even seeing when people are putting them on. So what I think for you. I didn't mean to directly call you out. No, no, no. I.

I had to think about this. Like, is it me? Because it's giving, you know what it's giving? MySpace. Right. And I heard that they're going to, like, now if you go to your page, there could be an update that it's like you could have a song for your whole page. See, that's a lot of pressure. And that's a lot of pressure. And I left that. We left that behind a long time ago. And it's very stressful. Next thing you know, they're going to have fucking top eight. But for you, let's be honest, you hate music and joy. I do.

You hate little kids singing. Oh, well, I would hate little kids singing. You hate songs. But I do think if...

If there's a song going, like a TikTok song, a funny, you know, it's more like a funny TikTok. Yeah. But also, like, when everyone's posting Charlie XCX Apple or everyone's doing Sabrina Espresso, don't do it. Okay, got it. So it's not the top 100 songs. You're not putting the top. I don't think you should unless it's, like, a new, like, Diet Pepsi. When Diet Pepsi first came out, you could do it, but then now it's already done. Got it. I would.

More like look at the theme of what you're posting. Okay, next time I do a dump, I'm going to send the dump to the group and I'm going to say, if you were to put a song to it. Yeah. And maybe we go no song. And maybe we go no song. Maybe that's your thing. Maybe your song is silence. Maybe your song is shut the fuck up.

You know, I could see like for your Italian one, you could have done a Frank Sinatra song. I could have. I could weave it in. Yes, weave it in. Because I love how the first thing you're thinking of is how will this affect my outfit. If the song is off, the vibe of the outfit could be off. Yeah, what's the journey? What's the story I'm trying to tell? And I know that some people have called me out because I did post...

20 photos. Did you? Which I talked very, very, very bad about. Look, if there's one thing that we are at Giggly Squad, it's hypocrites. It's hypocrites. And I think it's okay to be a hypocrite.

You know what it was? It was for my first pitch. And the footage, we got a lot of footage. And there was a photographer and there was a dog. Like, there was a lot that ended up happening. But it turned into a full Facebook album. I don't want to do that again. Okay. It was overwhelming. It was too much. It was scary. And then you lose track of the plot. Yeah. Like, 12 photos in, you're like, I don't know what the story I'm telling anymore. Yeah. So I think we should keep it to around 10.

10 to 12. 10 to 12, if we have to. Well, you're good at, you'll go for a while and then do like a beautiful artistic dump where I'm like, if something happens to me, I'm like, we need to tell everybody. You know, that's so funny because that's how I think about you. I'm like, Hannah's so good at like something happened, she got the photo, now put it out. Do you want to know why? And forget about it. Because of my...

whatever my mental illness is, if I don't post it immediately, then I don't care anymore. Well, that's where I get to. Because, like, if I wait four days, I'm like, who cares about a New York Times article? No, that's how I am. Or who cares that I threw the first page? Like, I don't care anymore. We're on to the next thing. Well, I also think that has to do with, like, our own personalities of being extremely, maybe even sometimes too self-deprecating. Like, we do cool things.

All the time. I do a lot of cool things. Sometimes when I put it on social media, I'm like, I'm not going to brag that I went and did this. We're so... Well, yeah, you're not going to be like, this is what I did this year. Yeah, we take ourselves so unserious. Well, this is the thing. Also, we're not posting to be like, look at the shit we're doing. We're posting for the gigglers and the gigglers only. Are the gigglers going to laugh or not? No, honestly, sometimes I get...

so annoyed when like people from like who don't get it yeah who aren't gigglers are like looking at my page and like commenting I'm like it's not even for you no it literally feels like mean girls where someone goes you know they don't even go here yeah but the gigglers will just be like hey you're not getting it that's okay you don't get it and that's fine if you want to do the research do it but we're not gonna get offended that you don't understand like the culture I think gigglers are really good at fighting in the comments because they're so polite and

sarcastic. So polite and funny. Like, hey, sorry, baby, you didn't get it. And we love that for you and your specific journey. Well, because they're creating an energy in the comments section. Like, our comments section is a party. And it's like someone comes in with bad energy and they're like, ooh, can I talk to you first? Can I put you aside? Like, I don't want to do in front of everyone. What the fuck are you talking about? What are you doing? You're embarrassing us. Wait, speaking of, what the fuck are you talking about? Is this a new segment? That's a great segment.

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I got a lot of DMs checking on my health and wellness this weekend because I was in a car with three blondes. They had me surrounded. Wait, did you post about this? I did. I was in a car with three blondes and all my- Oh, Stephanie. Yeah, and I couldn't like say anything to my friends because like I don't think they would really get it, but I'm like, haha, everyone's DMing me that you guys are all blonde and like whatever. Yeah.

I was okay. They're my friends from high school, which is funny to think. Are they real blondes? No, they're like, I think they were blonde babies. And then it went to like that mousy brown. They all get that same like mousy brown. You calling a girl mousy brown is so cunty. Like that was the meanest. If Paige Zerbo was like, you know that girl has mousy brown hair.

Mousy Brown is actually very in. Mousy Brown. Mousy Brown. Yeah, actually, you're so right. Because in high school, like, if someone said Mousy Brown, we'd be like, oh, you bitch. It basically means, like, lackluster. Yeah, dusty. I said lackluster. Okay, well, they, like, then turned Mousy Brown. And so then, obviously, like, they're blonde. But my one girlfriend actually is a natural redhead, but she's a blonde. Okay, don't go for me like that. Don't go for me. She...

I'm just listening to the story. You don't have to come for me. I don't even know where this story was going. Well, everyone's messaging you. Everyone's messaging me like if I was kidnapped. Like no one believed that they were my actual friends. They're like, we've never heard of these people. And then someone was like, oh my God, the Stephanie that you always talk about. Well, I do want to clarify. Stephanie is my favorite name for like a generic girl that we're joking about. It's not actually that Stephanie. We love that Stephanie. But yeah, Paige and...

has like other friends sometimes and it comes out of nowhere. It comes out of nowhere. Nowhere. And she'll be like, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. No, but you said it before. You're like, I will say Stephanie does know me very well. Like the night before her wedding dress shopping, she said, Hey, so tomorrow, um, do you mind doing me a favor and just like be really nice? And I was like,

No, she had been with me all week. I literally got home from tour. She was there. Hey, you know how you've been?

Can we not? I feel like how you are all the time when we're together. And I was like being nice. Like, what do you mean? She's like, you know, just like when I walk out in a dress, like you're very passionate about fashion and I don't want you to be like, I hate it. And so like I actively was like had to take a step back and I was like, oh my God, would I have done that? Did you have fun saying yes to the dress? We had the best time. We had the best time.

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I think I picked her dress essentially because I said a certain style that I wanted her to try on. And she was like, I'm really not about that style. Oh, I love that. I love that. I really don't think it's going to look good on me. And I was like, just try one. And then that particular style, she did end up like picking. You do enjoy styling people. I do when there's no pressure. Yeah.

No, like that, like I could say freely, like I like this and that and like try these on. Yeah. And it wasn't like we had to pick the dress that day. And if we didn't, like we were fucked. Yeah. If we didn't find it, like we would have had other days. So not like my special goddess dress. Hey, we're live in 20 minutes. What is Hannah wearing? I don't know.

That was stressful. What Olivia Draco wear this? No, I think that's, like, so intimidating, I think, to have, like, Stephanie trying stuff on and you sitting there. But I think, like, you being honest is the most important thing. No, I was definitely honest. Did she cry? So funny because...

She teared up a little. Our one girlfriend teared up a little. Her mom obviously teared up a little. And then Stephanie looked at me and said, no one expected you to cry. Oh, they were having like a moment. Yeah, they were having like a moment. Well, sometimes crying does get contagious. So they like sometimes I'll start crying, but about something else. But also in my head, I was like,

Like, this is a fashion experience. Like, I guess I... There's no crying in fashion. We've got 10 more dresses in 30 minutes. How are we doing this? Like, there's no time to cry. It's also like, I'm not a big happy crier. I'm not a happy crier at all. I've done it before and it feels very weird. It feels like... Can I tell you the only time in my entire life that I can ever remember happy crying? Your wedding. You were drunk. Yeah. No, I... I happy cried. I remember I like...

I wanted to happy cry a lot of things. And, like, you can kind of make yourself. I fully happy cried when I got the Adidas foot commercial. I was in, like, Midtown living in Murray Hill, called my mom, and I said, I got it. I'm going to be a star. I'm trying to think if I've, like, happy cried recently about, like, my own self. No. No. I don't think so. Happy crying is weird because you're doing something that—

is about something sad, but you're so happy that you're sad. Yeah, it's such a weird... I don't like it. I don't like it at all. My wedding dress shopping, now that I think about it, if anyone forgot, we literally went to a strip mall in Long Island. The place doesn't even exist anymore. No way. Yeah, it doesn't exist. And I just wanted to try on shapes. And the first dress I tried on, I was like, this is it. Well, Stephanie tried to do that too. The first dress she tried on, she was like, this is it. She tried. And I said,

Maybe not. See, my nana was like that. Yeah. But my mom is like me. I just was like, I'm not about to have a stressful. It's not going to stress me out. I have other things going on right now. Oh, see, I can't wait for it. And here's the other thing. No one's coming with me. It's me and Kim. And we have things to do. You have work to do. I have work to do. I don't know. I used to love watching Say Yes to the Dress. I loved it, too. Do they still do it?

I don't know if that show's still on. Yeah. I don't think anyone goes there anymore to that place. I think that place is like, it's been so many years now. It's not like the, I think that was like considered really cool, but like back in the day, but I don't ever hear of anyone. Klarsfeld's listening right now, feeling attacked. I just never hear anyone bring it up. Did you watch The VMAs?

I watch, like, snippets. Honestly, I do feel like with these award shows, if you watch the clips after, like, you're fine. Well, here's the thing with the VMAs. It's basically a musical, okay? You're so right. Actually, they didn't have, like, any awards until, like, the end. It's a full musical. It was a full musical. And no shade, no hate.

What did Katy Perry do this year that we were honoring her? Like, not, again, no shade, no hate. I love Katy Perry. She's created my whole high school experience. So that was what she did. It was a Vanguard Award of, like, your career overall. Overall. So they're looking back at, like, who's fucking consistently killed. Did I miss something crazy? But, you know, now that we're, like, kind of in the biz a little, I understand how, like,

certain timing is good for people. Like, it was good timing for her to push her new album coming out that she would even be wanting to be up for it. Like, because there's no rules to these awards. Here's the thing. Everything's PR. Everything's made up. Everything's PR. Everything's made up. And granted, I think she did amazing.

You know, when I realized everything was PR, this is years ago. I think I was at ABC News and someone was going to be in Sexiest Man Alive. They were announcing who the sexiest man alive was like the next day. And I knew early for whatever reason. And I said, oh, my God, that's crazy. And they said they have great PR. And I said, people didn't vote. Like how like that, I think, was like one of the moments that I realized everything in entertainment is PR.

Like, it's very rare that you're getting a cover because, like, they really thought of you. Like, yeah, they thought of you, but also there were people being like, she would be great because she does this, this, and this. And it's also like, hey, he'll do a photo shoot for this if you let this person. And we'll help you do this if you give it to them. Yeah. What do you think is the PR behind Ben and J-Lo being seen together? I think that's just them, their own mental...

Instability. Like, isn't there, like, getting back together? Here's the thing. Not you, but you can't relate to this, but, like, how many times do you break up with someone and you're like, I think I got another couple months in me. Or, like, you want to hook up with them again. Like, they're in the public and they got kids. But that's the thing. Don't go public if you're... Yeah, don't go to the Beverly Hills Hotel. Yeah, that was crazy. I mean, have sex in the...

You think they had sex? The house. Do you think they fuck? I think that's probably why they got back together. I bet they always had really good sex and it never dwindled. And then when they got back together, it was right back to it. And that's why they got married so quick. They were probably like, see, we're like always connected. Wow.

I also just made all that up. You did, and I was like valid. No, you answered like I'm right all the time. Because I think you are. And that adds to my delusion. No, because I think you're psychic. I'm like, Hannah validated it. I think you're psychic. Thank you. Sabrina and Barry Keoghan. Yeah. I'm going to say it. As someone who loves the Irishman I support, Barry's not end all for her at all. I do think they got a lot of good press from it, but I think she's already passed it. Interesting. Interesting.

I saw a thing that he has a son. Yes, he had some crazy quote. And it said, we don't have like the typical father-son relationship. Yeah. Because I think it had to do with like he was saying he didn't have the typical father-son relationship. And someone tweeted and said, imagine if any woman who's ever given birth to a baby ever said that they don't have a typical relationship, how she would get...

just canceled immediately her head chopped off and handed it could have been like an out of context thing but the quote sounded so crazy where he was basically like my dad wasn't around so like i'm not around yeah no he's basically like i don't even know this fucking kid he was like just because of my stuff that also like it would had no detail so it made it just sound like i'm not a dad like other people do that this is the first time i've ever heard of him having a child a full child so

Yeah. But obviously him having a child didn't encroach on his career at all. But someone's at home taking care of the baby. Someone's, yeah. Not at the VMAs. What did you think about Sabrina Carpenter singing the song about Shawn Mendes and Camila while they were there?

Okay, I'm feeling loose today. Yeah. I don't give a fuck about Shawn Mendes. I don't either. I don't have, I could be ovulating and I would not have a tiny bit of wetness for that man. I'm going to go out on a limb and say he doesn't want to have sex with us. You said it. I also thought he was in a cult.

I think he is. So... He was hanging out with a lot of long-haired people at one time. Which is very culty. Very culty. Very culty. And they're in L.A. And you know the type of long hair. They're in L.A., yeah. It's not just long... It's not Mormon extensions. It's not Mormon extensions. It's not Mormon extensions. The Mormon girls are like, let's come down there for two minutes.

I'm obsessed with the Mormon girls. I'm so obsessed with the Mormon mom TikTok. Oh, so it's continued? No, the show's over. I can't get enough. There's still drama? Oh, the girls are fighting on TikTok.

They're fighting, and I love it, and I'm obsessed with them. The only thing that I really like about it is that they're all making the money for their households, and I feel like it's going to change Mormonism forever. Because women are not supposed to have any power. Well, that's one of the, I think, one of the, like, backlashes that they're kind of, like, rising up against. Like, all the Mormons are basically saying to them, like...

You're bad for our community. And they're just like, no, we're not. And it's like, no, we're not because we can't be controlled by men anymore. Because if they leave, guess what? We have our own apartment. We have our own house. The one girl, Jessie, is doing everyone's hair. So she's really like doubling, cashing in. She's doing the extensions? She does all their extensions. Okay, well, can she change them slightly per girl so I know the difference between each girl? It's what they like. It's what they like. It's just what they like. It's her.

That's how it is. But that is such a good example of like when you have a small community and that's all you see is beauty and you're like, that's beautiful. When it's like, you know, you could have it straight. You don't have to have the same wave. No, I want one of them to cut...

Like a bob. Have a fuck-ass bob? Yeah, like a fuck-ass bob. Not like the one Whitney cut. Like a fuck-ass, sharp, blunt bob. Speaking of reality TV, do you know what's on Netflix that I highly recommend people watch? Unreal. Wait, I saw it. I'm too, like, confused. Wait, have you never watched it? No. Well, I watched Unreal before I did reality TV. Okay. And...

I kind of like blocked it out because I was like, that's silly. Yeah. Oh, no. I don't know if I could watch it then. I want you to try to watch the first. I think it kind of goes off the deep end, but the first season. The first season.

It's about a producer's life on The Bachelor, and it was made by people who produced The Bachelor, so it's actually the closest thing that they could legally say. Yeah. But they do make the reality TV people seem like real bimbos. Yeah.

Well, here's the thing. Where's the line? Where's the line? But I think with, like, the Bachelor franchise, they do keep them so in the dark and gaslight the shit out. Here's the thing. Bachelor is such a different animal than, like— Well, a competition show, too. So basically, like, there was just a clip that was on Netflix when you're, like, scrolling through, and it was basically the head showrunner being like,

in the back telling everyone like okay um if you get a fight like you get a raise yeah if you can get this girl to cry you get a raise and um don't feed this girl and she'll start being bitchy in about two hours and i'm like that's what they did the right no literally if hannah doesn't have food in one hour and you bring this guy and tell her something mean she's literally lose her mind and i was like wait i feel so puppeteered

Daphne Chegg. How's Daphne? Okay, so I told you when my brother came to visit and he accidentally locked her in the living room and so then she did the only thing that she could do and that was pee and poop on his head. So Saturday morning, so my girlfriend stayed Thursday night and Friday night. And Friday night they both slept in my room, like in my bed, and I slept in the living room on the couch. Because I have this thing where I can't sleep in a room with people anymore.

So that's the thing I'm dealing with. No. Because they were like, are you sure you don't want to sleep in your bed? And I was like, sorry, I actually don't want to be around you guys. Like, sorry, I have to be alone. So anyway, so I'm sleeping on the couch in the living room. Kat's with me like all night. But she goes and she does her things at different hours.

Like, 11 a.m. Saturday morning, they come out of my room and they're like, oh, my God, Daphne peed on the bed. And I was like, what? I was like, oh, did you accidentally shut the door? And they were like, no, she literally jumped up on the bed, looked at us, and peed. And so...

I love it so much. I think Daphne is doing this thing where like when she's ready for people to be gone, she's like, I'll pee on you. Well, I was going to ask you how she was dealing with like having other people in her territory. I think she was like, who are you? And this is mom's bed. I'm the owner of this house. I'm the owner of this house.

Like, this is not your bed. Who are these two blondes? That's very naughty of her. Yeah. It's naughty behavior, but it's her communicating in a way. Yeah. You have to buy, because cat piss smells. I already sent it out. You did the, they'll spray. You have to do the whole thing. I immediately sent it to the guy. Okay. So Butter, when I first went to college, she would go and shit in my room.

Because she basically was like, where is she? I'm fucking mad. But here's the thing. It's never to me. I'm never even around for it. It's almost like she's like, I'm defending my mom. Get out. She literally was like, this is not right. You've overstayed your welcome. She's like, it's Saturday morning. We do our things and you can't be here.

So I'm like obsessed with her even more because I just feel like her personality truly is so me. They do kind of become their mom. Yeah. She's like, I've had it now. She's really, really. It's a good thing to just lay with my mom in peace. She's really perfect and beautiful. No, she's so perfect. And I think about her more than I should. No, I think about her all the time. Speaking of girls I think about that need to be spoken about. Mm-hmm.

Dakota Fanning. That should be a segment. Girls I think about that should be spoken about. I'm just weak about it right now. Yeah. Dakota Fanning. That's where you're at. Have you seen The Perfect Couple? Sure have. Yeah. I think the first episode, it was bad. I think the whole series is probably not that great. Okay, thank you. I thought I was being gaslit. Yeah. It's Nicole Kidman, for some reason...

is working her little butt off. Yeah. Amazing cast. Amazing cast. I don't think the writing was good. Yeah. And it was, like, a little corny. Yeah. I mean, I couldn't get past the, like...

Opening scene where they're doing the dance. I didn't get that. Yeah, they didn't even get that. They didn't get that. They did an interview. They're like, we don't know. Really? Yeah, they were like, the director just said, hey, we're gonna, and they were like, please no. Someone tried to get their, called their agent and was like, I'm not doing a dance. Really? Yeah. Yeah, there was the second, you could tell they're all uncomfortable. Yeah. They all do a, what's it called when everyone stands in like a, like when someone's proposing and they do a, and everyone's singing. Yeah.

Quartet? Wait. No, let me get this one. I can get this. When everyone's standing. Everyone's standing. Flash mob. Flash mob. It's giving flash mob. Thank you. I can never, ever get flash mob. Like, I'm 0 for like 100. Why does it say quartet? I said getting proposed to and I got like string quartet. Yay.

So anyway, it's not that good, but like it's the kind of thing you'll get sucked into if you keep it on. 100%. And like I watch, I feel like a lot of things that aren't that good because I like certain people. Like I'll watch Nicole Kidman pretty much do anything in a movie. But I do have to say.

Do you remember, like, when Dakota Fanning first came on the scene as, like... Uptown Girls. How old is she? Seven? Yeah. Like, I remember being like, she's a genius. Yeah. She needs to be protected. She's a star. Yeah. Then, of course, disappears. Yep. And now, like, no one's... There hasn't even been, like, a...

an article about it. She just kind of casually is appearing again. One of my favorite movies of all time stars Dakota Fanning, and it's called The Secret Life of Bees. Oh, yeah. I read the book in middle school. Yeah. Correction. Sorry. My mom read the book to me in middle school. It is one of the... Talk about crying at a movie. Every time I watch that movie, I cry. It is one of the best movies. I actually think...

I feel like she doesn't do many interviews, but I'd love to know about her parents because I feel like... I want to know the whole story. It was probably one of the best things to disappear because that would have been the age where it was like, is she a drug addict? Is she going crazy? I want a documentary because then we're not even talking about... Then Elle Fanning comes out. Then Elle Fanning pops out. Who's her own star. But then Dakota...

This girl's clearly a genius freak in terms of acting. I want to know what's been going on. Also, in it, like, I can't look away from her. She still has her big eyes. There's something very captivating about her acting in anything. Like, you're very focused when she's speaking. But I want her to be back-back. Like, I want her to be, like, starring in something. I want her to, like, take on...

Hollywood. The Academy. I want her to be the next, not the next because she was probably, I would assume, more famous before Jennifer Lawrence, but that vibe of career. Yeah. You know there was a time where J-Law was in everything and I loved it? Yeah. And then she was like, I need a break. I'm going to take a minute. I'm going to take a second. No, we should do what Adele does. She works for a couple months. Gone for seven years. She takes a couple years off. She comes back. She does a show. Looks gorgeous. She says this was insane. Yeah.

I'll be back in a year. Like, I really. I also want to talk about, do you know who Juno Temple is? She's in Ted Lasso, which I didn't watch. She was in this movie about a stripper. She's a girly hair. Yes. Yes, I love her in Ted Lasso. I think she's the most talented person ever. People don't talk about her enough.

She's in Fargo. She's incredible. She's incredible. I never saw Fargo. She's incredible. She's incredible in Ted Lasso. She's incredible. Her character is also so easy to play. I saw her one stripper movie. I love a stripper movie. Send it to me. Do you know Temple Stripper? Oh, my God. She's so... She's funny. She's great. I watched her on the carpet, and she was like... Again, another person that should be bigger. Should be talked about. Bigger, bigger, bigger. Someone that you think about that should be talked about. I wrote... Oh, okay.

I said, wouldn't it be funny if Jennifer Lawrence started dating Gypsy Road Blanchard's ex? Jennifer Lawrence is married with a child. Not Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Lopez. Sorry. Oh my God. Jennifer Lopez. Imagine if she walked out with him. I'm going to be honest. I'm really so happy that we're over like the Gypsy Road Blanchard hype. It was really freaking me out for a minute. No, it was...

I'm glad we didn't get caught up. I would like to say we did not get caught up. We look back on history. We were not one of those people. We did not get caught up. And we don't go with the trends. We don't. Except for Caprice. No. I love Caprice more than right now. We don't go with the trend. And also, we don't do guests. We don't do murderers.

Yeah, I guess. Look, she didn't actually do the murder, and she was abused. It's a complicated thing that I actually think is not appropriate to just do a TikTok dance with immediately. And we'll leave it at that, because I agree. We don't have the time. We don't have the capacity. Grace only has so much time on her hands. Grace needs an assistant. She can't even manage.

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But also, are we like in awards season? Like when did that happen?

Because we're not nominated for anything. When is the award season, though? I think it's now. I thought it was in the winter. Well, we had, like, two. I think it was in the winter because of the strikes, maybe. No, I think it's always in the winter. I think the Emmys is in the beginning of the year. Because that shows start in September. Oh. So I think that's in the beginning. Because it's, like, what was last year. Yeah. And then I think, like, the Oscars, the Grammys...

What's the other big one? Golden Globes. The Golden Globes is in the winter. It's in like January. And I also... Two more gripes about it. I want them to be more specific. I want them to say, welcome to the Oscars. I know they probably say it, but I want them to say it multiple times. Where it's voted for by who? And when they say the... Who is the Academy? Or by the... Like, tell me how people are getting the votes. You want a bio on each Academy member who's voting? Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. I just... I want to know. It's like...

I want to know the numbers. You need to put a face to the name. If we're going to play a sport, give me the rules. I don't like people just getting awards. I'm like, who got them? You want to see the judges. What are their qualifications? Yeah. I want to know who's voting because then I'm like, oh, well, that tracks that a bunch of old dudes gave you that award. Wouldn't like my queef joke. Yes. Got it. 100%. Because you don't get it. 100%. My other qualm is. Oh, qualm.

Why do we have to say the number of award shows if it's not like an important number? Like, I don't give a fuck that it's a 76th Emmy Award. Okay, that's interesting. I was going to piggyback off of that. And like when someone's nominated, sometimes I think it's like a tad bit rude to be like, and they were nominated eight times, but they've never won. It's like, okay, chill on it. Fucking chill out.

Like you had to tell everyone? No, because someone wins and you're like, yay. And then they're like, it's your first. This is the first time. Out of 47 years and everyone's like, ooh. Actually kind of bad. And then you're like, did you even win it or did they give it? Because it's so embarrassing. You've been nominated so much. Well, that was happening to Leonardo DiCaprio, remember? Yeah. They got to the point where we were like, we got to give it to him. Well, that's another example of people were saying that he pissed someone off about something and that's why.

Very interesting. He didn't get awards for movies he should have. But obviously it's all luck. Like, if you were making movies during, like, Lord of the Rings, like, you're not winning. I don't care how, whatever. I'd be livid. Imagine you're about, you're doing a movie and you're like, this is going to be so good. And then you just hear that some fucking trilogy is coming out that year. I would.

If a TV show is good, there's like multiple seasons. And once the Academy is on board with it, it's like, okay, so they're going to win every fucking year. Yeah. Like that happened with like someone. We know it's happened. We just can't think of like immediately who it's happened to. To wrap up this episode, I have a fun game. Okay. You know, there's like this account called Puberty. I don't know. It just like posts really random shit. Okay. With no context. Context.

It says, top 15 most attractive hobbies for men to do to women. Women are drawn to these hobbies that suggest a man possesses skills and knowledge. I said, I would like to see if they hold up. I would love to see this list. Because hobbies in general...

I'm out. Get a second job. If you have time for a hobby. You're in your 30s, you have a hobby? You're not working hard enough. Get a job. Also, hobby. Like, how depressed are you that you got a hobby? You know, like, no one gets a hobby when they're doing well. What quantifies a hobby? Like, you're not making money and you do it for the love of it. How often are you doing a hobby? Yeah.

I feel like enough that you... Is taking an edible a hobby? No. Okay. That's just a drug problem. Then I'm out. Okay, number one hobby that women find attractive that men do is reading. I'm sorry, if a man's reading... No. Look, it was a trend with the whole hot men reading on the subway, which I think is try hard. I think they're fake reading. I think all the men are fake reading on the subway. That's so...

No. No. I don't want my man reading. I don't like him scheming. I want to have to guess. Can he read?

I feel like women who read are too smart and they would win arguments against me and I don't want that. If they're going to read, I want them reading at their desk, on their phone, the New York Times. That's what Des does. They skimmed it. They know what's going on in the news. They're not getting on the subway and reading a fucking romance novel. I'll punch you in the face. Wait, men reading fiction...

Fiction is for the girls. It's not for you. Yeah. You don't even have an imagination. No, I have no time to read. You know what's funny? One of my girlfriends. Well, you should. One of my girlfriends this weekend asked Stephanie's mom. She was like, I know you love reading. What are you reading? And I started laughing. I was like, no one's ever asked me. No, people have asked me. And I have to be like. I always say The Great Gatsby. Absolutely.

If you're in a pinch and you're in college and someone says, would you just read? And you're like, The Great Gatsby. I buy a book a week. Are you? What do you do with them? I feel like I subconsciously... I'm like...

It's like me Googling Pilates studios near me and not going. Like, it's a weird thing I have. This is so us because I just bought a shit ton of books. For display. But all the same color. Yeah, to look cute. I mean, they're real books, but, like, I don't give a shit. Like, I'll read a book on attachment styles. Oh, you're doing self-help? Sometimes. I bought down a book in, like, the main living area that just says boundaries. And he was like, people walk in and see that. Dummy's guide to divorce. I know.

I like certain mental strength stuff, but I'm never going to read it. It's just fun to be like, if I need to, in an emergency comes along. No, we should read more. My mom and dad read when they go to sleep. No, my mom's always reading. They go to sleep. And when I say, oh, I couldn't go to sleep last night, she goes, that's because you don't read.

My mom loves, like, I love a period piece. She loves, like, a period piece book. Just watch a movie. Just watch Frigid Head. Okay, most attractive hobby that men can do to women. The way I'm saying that is weird. Men's most attractive hobbies. To women. To women. Foreign languages.

Okay. I'll give him that. Like, honestly, when Des started speaking Mandarin, I was like... But not, like, not, like, duolingo in the taxi other language. No, no. Like, I want you. No, like, you're in Italy, and he just starts, like... Yeah, and he just goes... And you're like, yeah. And he didn't even tell you. Yeah, he's like, don't worry. We'll go this way. I actually dated a guy who lied a lot. I love those. And he... In high school. But his thing was he was trying to... His parents were really religious, and he would hide me from them.

Which is kind of hot. And he was hiding that he spoke another language. I guess he wanted to be just American. And he was on the phone speaking another language. And I was like, you speak another language? And he was like, no. And I was like, what? I literally just heard you. And he's like, no. And my parents once were like, do you speak? And he's like, no. And I'm like, this motherfucker. He's a spy. He's a spy. That guy was a spy. Oh, he was talking to. You've been hanging out with Craig too much. Foreign language is hot. Okay, and this is where they lose me. Okay. Playing an instrument.

Is there any instrument the guy plays that you'd be like, that's kind of hot? The recorder. What?

Actually, the fingers would be kind of hot. I'm like, oh, he's fast. No. Because I'm not a creative. Well, you hate music. In that sense. I'm not like, I don't know. I'm too like. Honestly, when he's too skilled. I'm too real to be with someone who plays an instrument. I do have to say musicians. I prefer athletes because musicians are in their head. They have emotions. I used to date a guy who would leave voicemails of him playing music to me.

At the time, I thought it was love. Drier than the Sahara. I thought it was love. Okay, this I can agree with. Cooking. Yeah. But I don't want them to talk about that they do it. I just want them to do it. Well, I feel like as you get older, that takes a different form. In my 20s, if someone was like, I'll make you this meal, I'd be like, ick, gross, you're so weird. Try hard. Now in my 30s, if it's like, we're really busy, oh, I'll whip something up for dinner. Amazing. Whenever a girl marries a chef...

Because I want to say it. Chefs are fucking insane. Yeah. They're all crazy. Yeah. I'm like, she chose her love language, which was food. Yeah. And I respect that. But I heard if you marry a chef, you're never eating their cooking. They're never cooking at home. Oh. It's kind of like us. Are we making? No, we're making jokes at home. I was about to say, it's like comedians. I go, you got to pay for that. You got to pay for that joke. I'm not giving you a fucking joke.

I was going to say, my biggest pet peeve is when guys would find out I play tennis and they'd be like, I bet you I could beat you at tennis. Or they find out I do comedy and they're like, oh, I could do comedy. It's like, I don't go to your accounting job and go, I could do your accounting job. Never. Okay.

Woodworking? No. No. Woodworking is like, did you Google how to make girls want to fuck me? Let the Amish have one thing. Okay. Also, like, there's no way you're doing it as well as, like, a professional. No. And if you are a woodworker, you're a nepo baby. Now, my ideal to woodworking would be, like,

If you can put something together from Ikea and not complain. Yeah. That's my version of woodworking. If I could buy something really shitty on Amazon that like all the pieces don't match and you put it together and you don't bitch about it. Yeah. And you're like, I just got to run to the hardware store. Fine. Hot. So hot. But to be a woodworker, you know how long it takes to woodwork? No. That's like years on one table. If you give me a bird house, I'll throw it in the dirt.

I've never heard you say that kind of sentence. Painting. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. Writing. Painting is for me and my iPad. My mental health coloring. I do have to say it's hot when Des goes. He goes to the. He's so cute.

You just love him. Wait, I'm obsessed. He goes to the coffee shop in the morning while I'm asleep. Stop. And he has a little notepad. Yeah. Where he writes joke ideas while he drinks coffee. That's so cute. And it's just chicken scratch. It's not full sentences. No, that's fine. And then he tries it on stage at night. I like that. Like poems? No. You know what's funny? Every now and then I'll look and I'll see his cute little funny ideas. Yeah. And then he once was like,

hey, there's a notebook that like you have some like serious stuff. You ever have like a therapist be like write down how you're feeling and you're like the world is so dark. He was like you should probably you should probably like take out that page because someone might read it.

Because it was like an insane, I wrote like something insane. Oh my God. I was like, I'm going to, you know, it was dark. Let it out. It was dark. Put it in the book. So Des has like cute stuff where mine is like, I hate everything. You're like, what is my purpose? What is drive? And who has it? Gardening? Gardening?

I like. Yeah, I'm not mad at gardening. I'm not. For some reason. Because then again, you are benefiting from the food that will be picked. Yes. Also, I like when men create. Men love to destroy. Yeah. I know I've been talking good about Des this episode, but now I need to grab some reality check. I walk into the kitchen and he has a crazy thing in the kitchen that's not supposed to be in the kitchen, just like on the kitchen table. And it's, I go, what is that? And he goes, it's a buzzsaw, like a little buzzsaw.

And he was cut. You're losing me. What the fuck is a buzzsaw? Chris, what is it called? A buzzsaw? You're referring to it as a buzzsaw. Yeah, it's a buzzsaw. It's like a little, it's like, it's like to cut like a tree. Okay, everyone just learned what a buzzsaw looks like at some point in their lives and looking at me like I'm crazy. It was to cut trees basically. Okay. It's like a cutter thing. So a saw? A saw. But like a,

it's an electric saw. Oh. And it's like a gun. It was like an electric gun saw. Is buzz? Are you saying buzz because it's electric and that's the sound it makes? Yeah. Do people call it that? I think they call it a buzz saw. Let's see what comes up with it. I don't think I don't think I've ever heard buzz saw. No. No. I doubt that's what it is. Yeah. An electric saw. Electric saw. Okay. You freaks. But it's not such a man thing to have a gun electric saw. Anyway. Yeah.

So he's using it to cut some branches that are on the deck. And I'm like, you can use a scissor. This was so aggressive. So aggressive. They love destroying things. It's never creating. Okay. Swimming. I like it because it tires them out. Yeah. I'm not mad at that. Go swim.

This I hate. Okay. Photography. I hate it. I hate it. You're not a photographer. You're not? And if you just picked it up... Get out of here. If you just... Yeah. Well, it's...

I feel like with, they just like buy expensive things and think they can click. We're like women, we have a vision. We like sense the energy of the room. Like I want a gay photographer or a female photographer. You can't get my shoes in the picture. Not a photographer. That's another thing. Straight men cannot take photos. How are they becoming professional photographers? They're not. They're not. Hiking. Well, we know how you feel about that. Archery.

It was medieval times. I'm actually not mad about it. Archery? If he was like, oh, I got to go arch with my friends. One time I dated a guy who loved jujitsu. Okay. My brother did that for a bit. I wasn't mad at that either. I wasn't mad. I was very passionate about it. I wasn't mad, but like I do think they're all making out. 100%. They're like rolling around touching each other's butts. I'm like, okay. They're all entangled together. I'm not mad at the archery because it's like. Old money. Old money.

It is giving a little bit of old money. It's giving old money. You have to have, like, a lawn. It's giving, like, quail hunting. Yes. Pigeon. Yeah. But I don't like when they kill things. Yeah. Finally, traveling. That's not a hobby. That's not a hobby. That's not a hobby. So anyway, puberty, do better. And men, just, like...

Get jobs. Get a job. Figure it out. We have Atlantic City coming up, which we have some tickets available because Atlantic City, people don't live there. Okay. It's like a party town. Nice. So, like, I highly recommend if you live near the area, go. It's in this crazy casino. It's going to be wild. This is our first casino. Yeah. Yeah. Grace, what other places are we? Do we have shows? That's not sold out.

Sorry. Newark. Come on, Newark, girls. Come on, Newark. Come on. Fly to Newark and come to the show.

If you didn't get tickets to New York, you could go to its cousin, Newark. Oh, yeah, Madison. We had another show. Badgers. Don't embarrass me now, Badgers. Milwaukee, we have some more. I can't fucking wait to go to Madison, Wisconsin. I've never been more excited to visit a place in this country, in the middle of the country, in my life. If I don't get a cheese curd upon touchdown, I'll lose it. Wait, I'm so excited that you're excited about Wisconsin. I think we're going when it's cold, which is a good thing.

End of October. It'll still be, it'll be cold, but it won't be too cold. Okay. We love you guys. Thanks for giggling with us. We'll talk to you later. Bye.