Giggling about fall trends, athlete love, and grilling
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my grilling gigglers? Anything you were going to say, I was going to laugh. Why can't women grill? Like, why is that? Like, oh, women don't grill. It makes no sense to me. Women have to be cooking in the summer. Like, oh, we're making the food. I mean, not me. And then, but God forbid we grill. Yeah. And then, God forbid we become the head chef.

And like a lot of Father's Day gifts are like grill master. That's the only gift you can give your dad. Yeah. Have you ever grilled?

No. But I've also never cooked. Maybe the stereotype is correct for us. I saw a girl grilling on Instagram and I was like, this is the most feminist shit I've ever seen. I was like, fuck the Olympics. This girl's grilling. Should we just buy George Foreman's and plug them in? Maybe start somewhere. Also, why is it George Foreman? Why not Georgina Foreman? Well, because the guy that invented it, his name was George Foreman.

And, you know, do you know that he named all of his kids George?

That's something you would do. Google George Foreman's children, but I think it's true. It's giving Leo season, and I'm here for it. Well, I have always wondered, like, why don't women name their daughters after them the way men do? People are trying to figure out what Justin and— I was about to say Hilaria. Justin and Haley are going to name their kid, and people think they might name it Baldwin. Right.

But then you like call it Baldi. No, they say you call it Winnie. I actually kind of love that. I know. Baldwin Bieber. Baldwin and name her Winnie. Winnie. There's a lot of Georges, but there's also Natalie, Leola, Georgetta, Frida. But there's a George Jr., George III, George IV and IV, V, VI. Yeah, he named all his sons George. Yeah.

Is that crazy? The things men do not to go to therapy. No, like, that's an insane move because you know that the fight with his wife must have been in... She was like, we can't name another one George. Also, it's, like, the pain to get that baby out of your pussy to then have it named. Like, what do they say? George number one, George number two. And, like, a lot of people say, like, the most narcissistic thing you can do is have a child. That's what they're... People be like, you're selfish for not having a child. But...

It is selfish to have a child because it's for you. It's not for them. They didn't choose this life. You want something that looks like you, acts like you, and is you walking this earth. We have enough yous. I also realized that we are on the board of the childless cat ladies community. We're there. We're the exact demographic he's speaking to. We're kind of the forefront of the market. Also, what are the... We didn't sign up.

I didn't sign up for it, but here we are. What are the chances I got a cat like four days before? I think you pissed them off. I'm like, they're taking all our women. Like, as the president of single cat women, I will speak for all of us. How dare you? I thought we both act like we're single. I know. I know.

But you're married. So it's like, it's like you don't have to talk about it. But the truth, I don't have a boyfriend. No, you don't. You don't. You don't have a boyfriend. It's actually so funny because whenever Craig says stuff like, oh, you're like going and doing this or like, oh, you said this, like blah, blah, blah. I always say, Hannah has a husband and he's not mad. Yeah.

I'm like, Hannah makes fun of her husband. I'm trying to get one reaction out of my husband. We just poke the bear all day and we get nothing from him. It's a joke. It's a joke. Speaking of husbands, I just heard that this family or this bride and groom,

Got an owl to bring them their rings as the ring bearer. And the owl flew away with their rings. As he should. As he fucking should. Gotcha, bitch. That's an instance where I'm calling PETA. That's what you get for trusting a feral bird. PETA actually commented on one of my posts of Daphne and I immediately like straightened up. I was like, oh my God, PETA's in the room.

The judge. No, PETA's like really, really scary. It just reminded me of when PETA and Pete Davidson got in a fight. Yes, that was a fight I'll never forget. About how he got a puppy Labradoodle and he was like, I'm allergic. So I had to get a Labradoodle.

That was my favorite. That was peak. Was that this year? Who even knows? It feels like yesterday when I think about it. But this is what that couple gets for not eloping. Like, this is what you get for doing a showy thing. How did they think? Did they tell the owl? And now it's your cue. Walk down the aisle. How the fuck did they think the owl was going to walk to them?

Give them their stuff and then what? Fly away? It's also giving... What are we overcompensating for? Get fucking married. If you have to get an owl to come in and bring it, you're distracting people. Someone's cheating. Also, what...

I wonder what the significance of an owl was to their relationship. Significance? It's all made up shit. I feel like it is funny to start a company being like, an owl is going to bring you the rings and all owls just fly away and then you sell it on Etsy. That owl like swam. That owl like flew to his girlfriend and was like, look what I got us.

Look at these dumb humans, what we do. Yeah, I'm like, what are the owls talking about? When you were, like, a kid and they would do, like, showing animals, would you raise your hand ever to be like, let me hold the crocodile? Never. See, that's another...

huge massive difference between us. My hand was raised before they asked. Yeah like a perfect example is like living in New York City there's so many people like walking their dogs and I can be with any friend walking down the street. My friend is stopping for whatever dog. Not once in my life have I ever stopped.

Not once in my life. Because I don't know you. I don't know your dog. I don't know your vibe. I'm not bringing it into my world. See, I am like you at that where I don't know dogs. Yeah. And I'm not going to assume they want to be touched. I have so much respect for animals. And as a cat, I would never. I've seen my friends roll around on the ground. I go, you look ridiculous. You look ridiculous. Get up. We're going. And now we have to go. Yeah.

But it's like touching a woman's pregnant belly. It's like you have to ask. Is that frowned upon? Yeah. You don't just touch it.

But I don't think a lot of people know that. Obviously, it depends on the relationship. I was just going to say, I feel like if I know you, I'm touching it. My thing is, like, me and you, we never touch because we have our own issues. But I will be offended if you don't touch my pregnant stomach. But I would give you at least some, like, you know how a cat, you put your hand out, let that cat smell you, and then you slightly go. That's what I would do. I would reach. I would stop and look. And then you would let me put my bump into you. I would do the hitch, the 90-10 for the kiss. You go a little. Let the bump come to me. Yeah.

This is so sick in my head. Talk about like us acting like we don't have significant others. When I think about being pregnant, I think about like what are we going to be like? Like sitting on a couch together. That's why I really want to do it together. Should we just have it together? I can't believe no women in STEM have figured that out yet. At this rate, I feel like...

We're going to get pregnant at the same time. Wait, we definitely are. Wait, I completely forgot to tell you this and I was laughing so hard. So Friday night I went to the Yankee game with my brother. And you know how like before they start the game they do things like on the field, like someone throws the first pitch. Yeah.

They had a high school from the Bronx and it was all women in STEM. It was a group of high schoolers like and their women in STEM club was like being honored. And I was like, okay. Okay, Gigglers. I was like, hello. I didn't know the Gigglers were showing up today. Wait, who?

So cute. They were all like, and there was one girl, she was like the president of the club and they like went through all their names. And I don't think I've cheered louder. I cheered louder for the women in STEM than any part of the game. Also, I love that when you go to a Yankee game, you like never post the actual game. You just post the aesthetics of the hot dog on your outfit. Yeah. And that's all we're going to get. Yeah. Not a field. Was it fun? It was actually very fun. It was a rain delay.

Fine. So I looked at my brother and I was like, I'll kill you. So no one won or lost? Everyone just had fun? No, then they played and then I think the Yankees ended up losing. I left by the seventh inning. You know that traffic. You got to beat it. You got to beat it. I can't do that traffic. I did see a TikTok about someone being like, there's always that one person.

that can't enjoy the event because they're obsessed with how we're going to get out of the event. Yeah. That's me for sure. I've turned to that too. But I think that's a New Yorker thing. Like my parents were always like, we got it. I don't care if it's tied up. Before the fourth quarter you have to leave or you never get home. No, people are going to get so mad at me but the best decision I ever made at the Taylor Swift concert was leaving before it ended. Say goodbye to Goose Girl podcast. Because that fucking traffic. No, it's insane. I got back to the city in 20 minutes. It's,

Oh, it was beautiful. Can I say something so fucked up? Yeah. Des and I got invited to the VMAs and it was amazing. Like the most insane red carpet ever. It was so fun. We finally get, I got some hot dogs. We get down to our seats and we looked at each other and we're like, we're not doing this. No. And he was like, we're not doing this.

We finished the hot dog, got up. And left. Was back in the city in 16 minutes. No. It took us two hours to drive into the city. We was in New Jersey. Yeah. So did I go to the VMAs? Yes. Did I watch them all? Yes. From my couch. I literally was home in time to watch it from my couch. That's a perfect thing that you don't need to stay. Another argument. Super Bowl. I want to be at home. I want to watch the commercials. Okay.

Unless a brand invites us this year. Unless a brand invites us this year. Would you go? Yes, I would go to the Super Bowl if I was going there.

Well, this is a loaded question. I'd have to go the way I want to go. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Which you can't really do always with a brand because they'll be like, you got to do this and that and this and that and this with these people and that. Yeah. Like, so I don't, I feel bad. Actually, same thing about Taylor Swift. I felt bad taking a Taylor Swift ticket. Mm-hmm.

Because I was like, are you sure you don't want to invite someone that's a bigger fan than I am? And then Craig was like, I want to go. So like that's, I was like, okay, well, we found our fan. And so that's really the only reason I went. But I felt bad. I was like, there's another girl that would like cry for this. Like you should give it to her. And then Craig was like, oh. Also, can we normalize Taylor Swift fans, as in me, who are,

I love Taylor Swift. I love her music. I love so many of her songs. But I haven't been a full Swifty. But there's no room for us. It's like you either have to be a Swifty or you hate her. And I'm like, I enjoy Taylor Swift. I didn't know I had to know every word of all her extended albums. I think for our age specifically, it's because we're the same age. Yeah, so we were...

Her music, we were a little late to maybe? I feel like in high school, like it very much... It was more like the younger girls. Yeah, like I feel like it did relate to like some things in high school. But then like as you get older, you get out of like, oh, I'm so obsessed with this one like celebrity. You kind of like grow out of it. And then once we were in our 20s and she like really got big and it was like, no, yeah, I love Taylor Swift, but I'm not obsessed with her the way like...

15 year old girls are now I think also me and you are weird we're like we are so fucked up in our own heads that we don't have the capacity to like idolize anything

No, I wish I loved anything. I wish. The way people love Taylor Swift. They've never met her. They'll never meet her. They've never spoken to her. They love her. I wish I cared for anything like that. People will say it's like mental illness to be obsessed with a celebrity, but I would argue the opposite. You found happiness. Like, if playing one song could make your day or her, like, I wish anything. Anything brought me joy like that. Like, that's how I feel about foot fetishes. Like, if I wish...

All I had to do was look at a foot and I was having crazy orgasms. Instead, I have to fucking like, I have to watch like two hours of porn. You have to be like so, you have to be ovulating. You have to, the room has to be perfect. If one wrong thought comes in, you're like, I lost. You can't say one thing to annoy me. Yeah. So anyway, speaking of dicks. I love how we really try to have good transitions, but there's no logic behind it. Continue. No.

Yes, as you were. As you were. Did you see that guy who lost pole vaulting because his dick hit the thing? Yeah. I feel like he can't be that mad about it. I think the pole vaulters, I have a lot of thoughts. The fact that any of them have long hair or some of them are wearing long earrings, I'm like, that could be the difference between a silver and a gold medal. I think it's an absurd sport. Yeah. Like, I don't.

Here's the thing. I think it's an absurd sport. I also think it could be my hidden talent. I do. The pole vault? Yes. Grace, can you figure out how we can pole vault? Because that sounds like a vlog I'd want to watch. My whole life, I've gone through my life in any sport I've tried, I've thought this is going to be my hidden talent and I'm going to blow you guys all away. And I have yet to find it. Beer pong? Yeah, but that's like...

Not respected in the community. Yeah, it's like a phase. How is there not an Olympic beer pong? Right? There's... Break dancing? Pole dancing? I think my extreme sport is literally what can I reach from my bed without getting out of it. That truly is the...

I'm actually really not good at that because I have a long torso, short arms. Right. So the weight doesn't work. Distribution. You're like the Simone Biles physically for getting things from your bed. With your fingers can like hook something. No, you should see things that I've like inched over. I'm like just a little bit. Got it.

I think there should be. You know who you want at a dinner party? You want me. And you want me in the middle because I can reach literally everything. Thanksgiving, my family stresses me the fuck out because I can like reach everyone. Wait, that's a really good question that no one talks about. When you walk into a group dinner, which you know is my nightmare, and you have a choice of where to sit first, where should someone sit?

I mean, I think it's all about, like, the person that's, like, right next to you. So, like, I don't care where at the table. But this is an interesting question. At your parents' house, do you have assigned seating? Like, silent assigned seating? A hundred percent. Yeah, where are you? The awkward thing is when you bring your new boyfriend and he sits in, like, your mom's seat and you're like, oh. I'm like, oh, that's not. You can't sit there. Hey, excuse me. Can I talk to you for a second? Okay.

You just ruined the whole night. What's your position in the silent assigned seating? So it's so funny because it's always, no matter what house we move to, it's always the same one. I'm sitting at the one like facing the wall. My dad's on the right. My mom's on the left. My brother's across. You're facing the wall. Your dad's on your right. Is your mom the head of the table? My dad and my- Or your circle table. Square table. Okay. And my dad and my-

Oh, but then actually in Shelter Island, my brother's on the left and my mom's across and my dad's on the right. It's always my dad on the right. Yeah. I'm always to my dad's right.

Interesting, I'm always to my dad's left, but sometimes I'm not allowed, when we're at restaurants, I'm not allowed to sit next to my dad. Why? Because he thinks it's funny to grab by my knee and squeeze it where it tickles, and then we get into kind of a physical altercation, and then my mom's like, you guys can't sit next to each other. And then I'm like, he fucking stopped. It's funny walking into a restaurant with my family because this has to be some type of childhood trauma. Yeah.

When I'm walking into a restaurant with my family, in my head, I think, where would my dad want to sit so that I don't sit there? Because I know, like, the seat that he wants. That's the patriarchy. Yeah, he doesn't want—he wants to be able to see, and he wants, like, a wall behind him. It's funny the little ways your dads fuck you up. My dad once, when I was little, he ordered a lobster. And I didn't really know what a lobster was until—

And I ordered flounder. Honestly, no. So the food comes and I'm like, fuck this bitch ass flounder. That shit looks crazy. And I guess I looked at him and I was like, I want your lobster. And as an adult, he should have been like, too bad, bitch. Next time you get the lobster we've learned, enjoy your flounder. And he goes, you know what? Let's trade. I'll give you my lobster. So you think, what a great dad. To this day,

He holds it over my head. He'll be like, remember when I gave you my lobster? Oh, my God. Like, he'll bring it up all the time. The memory of a camel. And then he did this thing when we were in the car.

Whenever we'd be fighting in the back or annoying, he'd be like, don't make me click the eject button. No, why do dads love that? And I guess he thought it was funny, but for me, it's like, no, I've never seen someone ejected by a car. But I'm not about to fuck around and find out. No, I actually can't go through a drive-thru like a normal person. I remember the first time I went through a drive-thru not with my dad.

and everyone in the car told me to calm down. They were like, your energy is like really intense. I'm like, well, you don't know what you're getting when you pull up to the window. Like, you have to know. Before they start talking, you have to know. Like, my dad would stress me out so much. And if you didn't know and give him your order right when they started talking, he would cut you. He'd be like, next, too slow. Gary, you're up. And like, you'd have to say it. And then if you ever wanted to

add oh and also no time was over you can't add that oh my god it was literally like military so like the first time I went to a drive-thru I'll never forget it with my favorite ex-boyfriend

We went through a drive-thru and he told the drive-thru person, I need a minute. And I looked at him and I was like, we can't take a minute. They're doing their job. Like there's people behind. He was like, you can take a minute, look at the menu. And he did it like in such a calm fashion. And I was like, I think you just healed my inner child. But also like how fun is panic ordering?

Yeah, because you're just like, I'll take it all. I never read the menu before I go somewhere. Like, I like being surprised. I could be surprised and be like, wow, this menu's shit. Like, that's just how the day is. Or be like...

between two things and you always ask the waiter he always says the one thing you don't like yeah then you have to awkwardly be like thank you but I actually no thank you yeah and then you panic and order the wrong thing and then the thing the person's eating next to you always tastes better Craig kept doing that in Italy and I kept getting so fucking annoyed he kept asking the waiter like oh well like whatever your favorite is and like they don't really speak English and so like the way he was saying it was like I'm deciding between I'm like you don't need to give them all those words

Like, they don't give a shit what you're ordering. They're not eating it. Mangia! Wait, can we talk about the controversial thing he asked for in Italy? What did he ask for? Hot sauce. No.

No, my dad's not over it. Like he actually brought it up not too long ago on the phone with me. We were laughing about Italy and your dad was like, you'll never guess what Craig ordered. No, he kept asking, oh, any chance you have hot sauce? And they like kept looking at him like we don't know what you want. And so like one place brought over like chili oil and

And he put it on his pasta. And my whole family just like I could see them in their seats just being like, oh, my God. Like he's a liability in Italy. He could just put chili flakes on it.

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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

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He goes, I'm not watching your food memes. I go, it was a sourdough chocolate brownie and we love sourdough and like people, it was like inside thing and he goes, oh, just stop sending me the food stuff. No, I,

I'm literally Des. And I was like, you haven't watched any of my reels. And, like, the sentence answered that. Yeah, yeah, I'm not watching any of your freaking reels. No, like, my messages to Des is just me sending. And I literally said, okay, I'm sorry for sending you. Yeah.

Stupid meme. I literally apologize. I was like, that is an oversight on my end. I thought you were going to be more interested in this. Wait. No, that's so funny. And I send you so many... Like, this is literally me. No, that's me and Craig's conversation. And then I'll say one, like, ha-ha. Or I'll be like, that's a cute one. I did send him a smash sweet potato pizza. Again, like, yeah...

Because you just see something and you're like, quirky, fun. Ooh, that'll go to Jez. That'll go to Paige. He likes potatoes. It's Irish. He was like, stop sending me food.

And then I'll send him cat stuff. Yeah, he just doesn't respond. But I don't even know he doesn't respond because I know he sees it. Yeah. That's all that matters. Do you look at mine? I look at all of yours. I know you do. No, I look at all of them. I don't need your affirmation. Right. It's actually, if you double tap, then I'm like, oh, do I have to respond to that? Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Low maintenance, low maintenance. I am in a good mood, though, because there's some trends that are favoring me for once.

Oh, wait. I was – before you say this, I have to do – I'm doing a fall fashion segment for the Today Show in two weeks. So I'm like, you know, just on my computer looking up all the fall fashion. The number one trend. Shorts? Ties. Like the number one trend is elevated work wear.

But like outside of work. It's like siren slash like 80s work office and it's all ties. You know when you watch one thing on TikTok and then it shows you like a hundred things like that? So I click on the trend things. I like to know the trends because I want to be able to talk to you. I have something to talk about. And the girl was like... I was just going to say, how did we even get here? Because I think I started this with like that one Olympics dick. And it's like, where did we get... Did we even talk about it? No way.

We're decentering men. So this girl was like, ties are really in. Like, Ayo Edebiri is wearing... Who? Ayo from... Oh, okay, yeah. I think I mispronounced her last name. Ayo from The Bear was wearing it. Zendaya was wearing it. And then she goes, Hannah Burner, if you know, you know. No.

She's like, this is kind of niche, but Hannah Burner. Wait, that's so funny. Do you want to hear something funnier too? The gigglers literally, they keep me humble. I love them so much. So I'm sitting outside a coffee shop, as one does, because I sent Des inside to get it. And I'm sitting there.

And a car stops and I'm like, I'm going to get kidnapped. Yeah. And a girl jumps out and she runs up to me and she's like, hey, like I'm a giggler. And I was like, what's up, bitch? And she was like, I know it's weird that I jumped out of my car and ran up to you. It's crazy that I ran over that kid and then punched that dog in the face. I just wanted to really say hey. But she looks at me and she goes, I'm sorry I ran up to you, but you just look so normal. I...

Honestly, in the world we live in, what a compliment. Like, what a just—

Let's normalize just being like, hey, you look average. You look normal and average. And I know she meant it just like you just seemed like a normal person. And I was like, no, that's me, normal for sure. And she was so sweet. We took a photo and I walked off and Des came in. He was like, what's up? And I was like, I think someone just called me ugly. No. Not too long ago, I was with like two guys, two like guy friends that –

Like, don't really give a shit about me. Like, in terms of, like, they don't care about anything. Mm-hmm.

An older woman came up with her daughter, and the daughter was, like, so sweet. And the older woman said, oh, my God, you're so much tinier in person. And I just said, like, thank you. Like, oh, thank you so much. And then we walked away, and my two guy friends were like, wait, that's so fucking rude. Like, and I was like, no, she meant it in a nice way. But, like, I get it. When you see someone that you've been, like, listening to or watching on TV, like, you're going to panic and say something insane. Yeah.

her saying you're so normal, I really did take it as a compliment, but also like it's not her fault. I literally woke up and it was like 1130 a.m. And Des was like, can you come outside to get and get coffee with me? And I was like, no, like it's the morning. He's like, it's 1130. So I, in my pajamas and like hair a mess, was just sitting outside this coffee shop. No, I thought you blew dry your hair, put makeup on.

And didn't wear your pajamas. Imagine I just have a full glam at 11 a.m. in West Hampton. No, she was like, you just look normal. And I'm like, bitch, one thing I can do is I will bring that normal. I will serve normal. I have a good Daphne story. I'm all ears. First of all, she's, I don't want to say. Are you crying? Did you just start crying? No.

She is the most perfect cat. I haven't met many, but I know that she's so much better than them. No, she is. And so I realized I'm really not a cat person because I've been having so many people like show me pictures of their cat. And I'm like, that's crazy. Doesn't hold a candle to adopt me. But anywho, here for it. And it's much, it's like children. Like I feel like I'm not a kid person, but like I'll like mine. She's cute.

It's very similar to me because she's so smart. She's just so cunning. She knows exactly what's going on. But at the same time, she's very dumb. And she'll do things that I'm like... Just when you think she really knows what's going on, you're like, do you even know who you are? She's never met a mirror she doesn't love. Like, she'll literally watch herself walk by. And I'm like, that's my daughter. That is my full daughter.

But sometimes she'll also look behind the mirror to make sure a cat's not there. And I'm like, you're stupid. You're really stupid. So the other night, my brother was spent the weekend and he was in the living room. And I have like two doors to my living room and I always keep like one of them shut. But like the other ones open so that she can like go in, go out, whatever. In the middle of the night, he must have gotten up and like shut the door and didn't realize that like she was in there.

So he said it's like around like 7 a.m. She starts like poking him, like waking him up. And he's just like, OK, like, stop, like get away from me. And she's like crying and he's just like ignoring it. He then smells something and he's like, oh, my God, Daphne, like is farting because she does fart all the time. She literally reeks. He like moves his head over. She had literally shit right on his head.

Right on his head. And he runs in my bedroom, wakes me up. He's like, your cat shit all fucking over the place. And my first thing was like on my couch, like on my white couch. And I'd put like a sheet down for him to like sleep on the couch. And he was like, no, she actually did it in like a very neat and tidy way. But he was like, I didn't know she like I locked her in there.

And so Daphne loves revenge. And for that, I'm like, you're my full daughter. Cats are so funny. Butter got into this, like she loved going into this particular closet. Like she just likes sometimes hanging in this closet on her own. Like I'll go in and she's like, I'm in the closet. And get out.

So at one point, one morning, she was like waking me up and she never wakes me up. She knows that mom is not moving until like 11 a.m. I'm like, what do you want? So I get up and I'm following her. I'm like, do you want food? And she just leads me to the closet and the door was closed. So I open it up and she's like, thank you. And she goes in.

No, they're so smart. I like don't get it. But then sometimes they do shit where like I'll throw a treat and it like hits them on the forehead and then they like can't find it. No. And I got a litter robot that she's like fully using now. And it's great. It's great. No, it's great. I should get a litter robot. No, Hannah. It's fucking great. Can you put the link in the newsletter this week? Because I want to buy it. I don't know if you were going to bring up to me that like cat shit is weird.

way more vile than any dog could ever even imagine. Okay, this is the thing. I feel like dog pee and poop is like literally human, which kind of grosses me out. Like it's like a human shit. Yeah. Where like cat pee and poop

It's so smelly. It's on a different... I'm like, are you... I literally was Googling. I was like, there's no way my five-pound cat just dropped this. But that's why the litter is so important because it could be so potent where...

potent potent where it literally will mask it so it smells like chemically no this it's yeah the best thing I've ever invested it's important I'm really happy um and she's so smart she like goes right in it I mean she's like no she's a genius this is the thing not all cats are good with like many people like too many people some are more social some other ones but everyone will love their own cat and I stick by that and

It's funny because I was thinking about how me and Sierra met and how people didn't understand our connection. Now that you have a cat, you see how I was sitting in the house, scared, fighting for my life. Sierra walks in, new girl, and I look at her finger and she has a cat ring. And I said...

I love you. I said, I don't know you. I get it now. And everyone wants me to hate you. I love you. Yeah. I don't care what they say about you. Yeah. I don't care who's in my ear. She said to stop talking about Jasper on this podcast, but...

Oh, yeah. We got a text. She was like, hey, are you talking shit about Jasper? And we gaslit her. We go, we never spoke about Jasper. We would never talk about how he's so misbehaved. No, but Jasper, like she likes when he's naughty. Yeah, she does. So speaking of the trends that I, back to me, that I think are really good for me. Yes.

So you know how like the blowout was really in? Yeah. Which I still love, but like it's so hard for it to stay. Like it's for me, it just gets straight in like one hour. And it's a whole rigmarole with the hair rolls. Literally, sorry, I just like hiccuped. Now the trend is going to be undone waves. And like really long. Long looks like you didn't brush your hair. Very Daisy Edgar Jones. Yes, exactly.

So I'm thinking that I'm about to be a hair influencer and be like, hey guys, this is how I do it. You roll out of bed. Trezavay is somewhere right now. Can someone get Hannah Burner's email? But I also learned I do have a hair type because my hair, when I wake up in the morning, I don't have to do much to it. Mm-hmm.

it looks not great where like if I think if I had curly hair or like remember I guess wouldn't everyone be thinking that I secretly have curly hair but I just haven't been taking care of my curls I'm still not fully over that like I do think I was on to people's hair can get curly but like when you have to do your hair in the morning obviously it looks great okay this is a weird thing that I was like looking up on TikTok like I think it's because I like watching girls do

do their curly hair and like all the steps they have to do because I'm like this is insane that they have to do all of this and so like I always get hair videos. No like justice for them. No justice because I'm like they're like you can't don't use this gel and this mousse and I'm like oh my god this is a fucking lot and I'm I always think about like wow their hair must smell so good right now but yeah but they have to wake up at like 4 a.m. Yeah it's insane. You tricked yourself to thinking that you had curly hair. Oh so then I get this TikTok saying that

If you are Irish and have like Irish ancestors blood, there is a trait with Irish girls that the top layer of your hair is completely straight and the underneath is like completely wavy. But you're not Irish. I am.

Wait, what percentage Irish are you? My dad is... Half Irish? Italian, Irish, and like British. And my mom's 100% Italian. So I am like a little bit Irish. I'm more British than I am Irish. Well, I'm not 100% Italian, but I just say like, I'm majority Italian. So I just go with like, I'm Italian. But no. When are you going to tell me this?

It hasn't come up. In the 800 episodes of Giggity Squad, my heritage just hasn't come up. So your dad's like a third Italian? Yeah, his dad was 100% Italian. Oh, so your dad's half Italian. But his mom was like a bunch of things. Yeah.

Okay, we're going to have to do the math on that. So we'll just do a little. I think we should do like a 23andMe for a vlog. We have so many vlog ideas. We have so many vlog ideas. We're going to do it because we're going on the road. No, we're going to do a ton of vlogs on the road. So we're going to be stuck with each other. Also, do you remember when I FaceTimed you and I had egg all over my face? Yeah.

No, and you were like, we were like, so sorry. And you wiped it on one side. And I was like, you have it on the other side, you absolute Neanderthal. So we were calling. We were like a business thing. You were like, hey, this is serious. I was like, okay, well, you have egg on your face. So get a grip. Oh.

Gonna call me in the morning and tell me it's serious? For some reason, I don't care when I have food in my face. And I almost think it's rude when people get upset. Like, okay, crazy, you have food in your face. I'm like, I was eating, duh. Do you ever feel like it's rude when like a close, close friend calls you instead of FaceTimes you? Sometimes I'm like, okay, is this? I'm like, no. Calling's text. You couldn't even get that out. You were so offended.

So offended. If you had to tell me something, text or FaceTime. Des and I, we only call each other, though. See, Craig and I are only FaceTime each other. I think that's because you're long distance. Yeah. It makes you feel like. But he never FaceTimed before me. Like, he never even, he was like, who FaceTimed? My last trend, bikini bottoms are apparently getting bigger again.

Bikini bottom. Because you know it's gotten to a point where you're literally just wearing floss. Yeah, and you're paying like $200 for it. And I'm like, I could have literally made this. What pyramid scheme was like, hey, let's just separate them and charge $200 for each one. I'm buying Amazon bathing suits. Right, like it's very rare that it always comes as a set. Yeah, it's insane. Yeah. And as a...

I'm on the board of Childless Cat Ladies and Big Booty Bitches. Wait, I thought you were literally about to say some charity. I was like, what the fuck? As the head of the Big Booty Bitches society, I can't just wear these bikini bottoms to a family barbecue. No. It's not safe for anyone. My labia doesn't even stay in it. So I have to get these like granny panty ones kind of to keep it all in. But now it's becoming like...

It's funny you bring this up because since it is like Olympics time, I was like watching all the gymnasts. Oh, yeah. Where are their vaginas? Yeah.

No, truly, because I'm like one slip, you're out of there. Like, are they wearing underwear? Well, I like to play the game. Do they need to be wearing something that small? Did you hear the track athletes got mad because they gave them like ridiculously tiny outfits and they were like, yeah, they they I think they changed them. I mean, yeah, it's unnecessary. Also, even like the volleyball players like I get it, but like.

Do you have to wear bikinis? And, like, if they want to, sure. But I just want to make sure they're not being forced against their will. Like, blink...

if you're being forced against your will to wear... You know what's crazy, too? Like, I love watching the Olympics, and I'm, like, all about it for the two weeks that it's on. Yeah. But then it's like, where are you guys the rest of the years? Like, you never hear of, like, where the fuck is the gymnastics world? They're playing it, but it's never shown. And that's why, like, it's so hard to make money doing it, and they feel so much pressure because if they don't get the gold now, they don't get sponsorships, and they don't make any money. Yeah. Side note...

Why are the men not wearing Speedos when they're playing volleyball?

I would hate that, but it's a great question to bring up. No, because it is kind of crazy. Their outfit, like the volleyball girls' outfits are like cute and like little. Des made me laugh so hard. He made a funny video about it where he was talking about when you first watched the Olympics and you're like, these people are fucking incredible. Yeah. Like everything they do, they've put their whole life into this. Like they, I don't care what the judges say, like these people are incredible.

Yeah. And then like three days watching it, you're like sloppy. Yeah. Okay. If you, if you are not together, you have to even practice. If you had to pick a sport that you think that you actually, someone just said this.

I think it was Tinks maybe where it was like, okay, for the next four years, you can quit your job. You don't have to worry about anything. You can train. And which one you actually think you could do? Well, it would be the more like skill-oriented ones. Like this one. What is that? The shooting one. Bone arrow? Yeah. Is that an Olympic sport? Yes. Those like skill things where like if you just do it all the time. Yeah. I think I'm going –

equestrian dancing horse, whatever the fuck that is. When Snoop Dogg was like, they're doing the Crip Walk. Yeah, like, I don't understand how they train for that. It was going around. Like, are they telling the horse, like, okay, chasse, like, kickball change. Like, how does the horse know to go on the frickin' beat? Like, I'm not, I need a documentary on those people because it's, I feel like it's closer to the merpeople than we would think. Totally.

There's a rumor that Martha Stewart showed up because Snoop is afraid of horses. So he stood behind as a rumor and held his hand during the equestrian. Wait, also...

Did you hear that Flavor Flav like basically sponsored the water polo team? No, that's amazing. Like, is he the only feminist icon in this planet? He was like, wait a minute. These poor girls aren't being now none of them will have to work. Good. He pays for them to like that. This is their only job. Yeah. I do think there's like a.

hyper fixation and like addiction that happens which like if you're gonna be addicted to something it's better you're addicted to like rowing than heroin but like I guess some of the sports I was watching like the um javelin and it's like all you do every day yeah is throw this javelin yeah I think the decathletes do it but like or like throwing the like heavy ball like your whole day is just about throwing a ball and it's like is that what God intended yeah

Maybe for Miss Trunchable. Maybe we all should just like hyper fixate on one skill. Right. And like that's it. That's our skill. And that's what we do. And then if you lose by 0.2 meters, you just are depressed for the rest of your life. Like when you're born, you're assigned like a thing. Let's back my day. It's like you're a woodworker. I think that's like communism. I think we probably shouldn't promote that. I feel like that's jail actually.

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When I was sitting outside the breakfast cafe before. When you were just being normal. When I was being normal, these kids. You know when you hear something like someone spilled something and everyone goes, ooh. Yeah. So like one of the kids spilled like an entire thing of coffee and the table next to us. And we weren't really watching. And the family eventually got up and was walking out. And the two kids were at the end. And.

And I love hearing kids talk to each other. Love it. Like, Kid Conversations is... So good. They need a podcast. Yeah, no, they literally need one. This kid was probably, like, seven. Another kid was, like, six. And he goes, yo, that was type shit. And high fives him about, like... Type shit? That was type shit. What the fuck does that mean? I wrote, yo, that was type shit. That's what the kids are saying. So he thought it was hilarious that the kid spilled his drink. Actually, they didn't say type shit.

They might have said tight. They might have said tight shit. I thought he said type shit, but it's probably type shit. Google Urban Dictionary type shit. Is type shit a thing?

It's definitely a thing, usually meaning psych or just playing, sarcastic, a joke. A joke. That makes sense. That was funny. Type shit. And Des and I looked at each other and I was like, first of all, I want that kid to be my child. Second of all, we need to start saying that. Type shit. Type shit. Yo, that was type shit. It explains a lot, you know? Oh, one more Olympics thing. Are you familiar with the Czech doubles players lore?

That was so many words. Checks, doubles, what? No. So this mixed doubles team, mixed doubles means it's a guy and a girl. Yeah. Siniakova, and I think it's Maczek, they win golds, and it shows them, and it says, they were dating for a long time, and they broke up.

But they said, let's do... We can do... We've been training. We're going to do the Olympics together. And they win gold. And they're, like, holding each other and kissing. Kissing on the mouth? It was, like, holding... I don't know why I just asked. Sorry. With the hand or with the mouth? Oh, my God. And did they do mouth stuff? Did they go to second base or third base? And the reporters were like, are you guys back together? And they're like, we want to keep it private. And people were commenting, like, this is a Hallmark movie. Like... Oh, my God. Gets a day for challengers, too. But, um...

What I know about it is, yeah, mixed doubles, you have to have chemistry with the person. Because you have to like, if I move one way, they have to know to move the other way. You have to be able to keep each other positive. It's a very emotional thing. Okay, so if you had a boyfriend in college, just hypothetical, and he was on a mixed doubles team, would you inherently feel a type of way? If they had like a flirty chemistry. Yeah. Yeah.

I dated my high school mixed doubles. Oh, well, there we go. Wait, I'm trying to think if this was an interesting story. Oh my God, it kind of was. I was new to the school as I show up to schools halfway junior year and I got put on the doubles team with him.

And he initially didn't like me because I came from, like, a Florida tennis academy. He thought I might be, like, stuck up. And he realized, like, he's from... You're so normal. I'm normal. I was like, guys, I'm normal. Ask the gigglers. But I was like, I'm from Brooklyn. He's from Queens. I started to kind of get him to open up. And, like, we'd laugh. And, like, he'd hit a big serve. And I'd be like, that was huge. Like, I would, like, be fucking with him, joking with him. And then...

He would, like, ask me to go to practice with him. And then we'd, like, hang out after practice. And next thing you know, we, like, kissed. We were, like, kissing after practice. And then we were, like, not telling people that we were dating. You were keeping it private? Yeah.

Oh my God. So it was like. See, I feel like in high school when I got a boyfriend, I was like, guys, check your fucking texts. I just went official on Facebook, bitch. And then another guy on the team invited me to prom because he didn't know that I was dating the other guy. So what happened? Who'd you go to prom with? I think I ended up

Oh, my God. I, like, don't remember, but I think I ended up going with the guy who asked me because the other guy wasn't going to prom. Like, he was, like, thought it was too cool for prom. Probably because you had a date. Yeah. Something happened. But we... Maybe we weren't, like, official yet. No. That's when you... I...

Have started to, I also have like a horrible memory in general, but that's what makes me feel the most old. Like someone will say something and I'll be like, I have no fucking idea. Like that was in high school. I believe hypnosis works because we all are all living based on made up memories of ourselves. Like if you told me like that's literally not what happened, I'd believe you. So like if you've been telling yourself a story about your past life, mental health moment coming. Yeah.

Tell yourself a different fucking story because you probably aren't even remembering it right anyway. No, my friends will say things from high school and I'll be like, I don't know. I wasn't there. It was you. You made us do it. And I'm like, I don't think so. Well, it's almost like when you're like, was that a dream or was that real? Or did I did someone tell me that story about someone else? Yeah. No, everything's made up. We're starting fresh every day. No, time is a construct. It's just like old.

made up. You can literally do whatever you want. Something you guys have to watch. I have something too. Tell me. Presumed Innocent on Apple TV. Jake Gyllenhaal. Is it good? Okay, I'm really offending the Swifties this episode, but I fucking love Jake Gyllenhaal. I also immediately turn into a movie critic. The acting in this show is so fucking good and I don't

I feel like I don't ever really pick up on that unless it's like really bad or really, really believable. He is so good in it. The whole show is so good. I pride myself on being able to like predict things. I'm like, this is going to happen. This is going to happen. I really thought I had it. I fucking could not have been more off.

It's just I binged it in a full day. Like I watched it all like Friday night and Saturday. Apple TV like puts out a lot fewer things. No, they put out one thing a fucking year. But it's fucking good. But it's good. Like I'm sick. Like Ted Lasso is still in the top 10. I'm like, this show's over. Give us more content. Like Apple is really lagging on the content.

Yes, Severance is really good. Slow Horses is really good. But again, that was two years ago. You're right. Where's the next season? Here's the thing. It's 2024. You're insatiable. If you're giving me the whole series, know that that's done that weekend. So I need you cranking content. Who are you yelling at right now? I need Hollywood to get it together. I need more shows. I need more episodes. I need it faster. Yeah.

I'm over here binging. You know? And like... I don't know where you find the time either. Because your mother... No, I find it. No, I fucking find it. I finished two Love Islands. If she wanted to, she would. She would.

It's funny now that I've gotten to the point in my life where my friends are like, no, Paige isn't going. Like, Paige is home. Isn't it so nice? Yeah, like, it's so great. I actually came to the realization, we've been, like, joking about it, but I always was really ashamed that I wasn't excited to go to parties or social gatherings. And I've, like, finally fully accepted that maybe I'm just weird and normal. Yeah. No, so...

Sometimes I get really nervous, which is also like not completely wrong, where I'm like, do I just like not get excited for things that other people get excited for? Like, is that something in myself that I'm like, oh, my God, can't wait to like go to this club? I'm like, no, I don't want to do that. But I do think it is we are just getting everything gets repetitive. Yeah. I also think.

Just me saying I don't like going out doesn't mean you don't like doing anything. It means you like being in your own home, your own space. Like I'll hang out with you if you come to my house and we order my favorite Chinese food and we sit and watch my shows. Honestly, amazing. No, amazing. Where the fuck do I sign? Something you have to watch that you'll love. It's about Rock Hudson. Okay.

Have you heard Rock Hudson? Yeah, who is that? He's like the most gorgeous Hollywood actor. I mean, his name was Rock Hudson. In like the 50s? Yeah. And is it on? I think it's on Max. Okay. And it's about how his whole life he was gay. Hollywood's like...

- Number one guy. Like every romance, I mean if you look at this guy, like I watched the whole thing and I'm like, I wanna fuck that man. And how basically in Hollywood, everyone knew he was gay.

but it was so like they protected him because if it ever came out he'd lose everything yeah so like the makeup artist and the people on set everyone knew and he fucked like thousands of men like he had a guy a guy they call and the guy would just send over like the hottest guy to hang out with him so he lived this is he still alive no he died of aids did he ever come out

He had to come out when he got AIDS. Oh, my God. How traumatizing. And he's like – it was like 60, I think, or on 65. And he was like – It's on Netflix? It's on Max, I think. Oh, okay. But it was just crazy to see back then this like double life that he lived. But it's also like you think about –

So much of Hollywood was gay and they couldn't come out like the directors, the agents. They just loved Hollywood. That makes me so sad for people. It was sad, but he also lived like an amazing life where he'd be like, OK, orgy in Santa Monica. And then, yeah. And he just had this like close group around him. Orgy in Santa Monica sounds like a nightmare. Oh, my God. Sounds like you need a couple of doctors and a few lawyers. I think I overbooked. But he was able to like.

live his life to the fullest because he wanted that dream of being the leading man. Yeah. And it was very interesting. But he did, yeah, he had a really good circle of people he trusted who he, like, kept around him. And I really do believe that the five people that you surround yourself with, like,

makes you who you are. No, but do you remember when you, like, would leave a friend group or, like, graduate somewhere and suddenly feel like a whole different person and be like, oh, my God, like, when I would just share my ideas and my personality with them, they were mirroring, like, the wrong shit to me. I had a psychic say something to me. This is years ago, like, when I first started going to a psychic, and for whatever reason, this, like, really stuck with me. And he said... It was actually, like, kind of sad. He didn't say, like...

He was like, I don't want to tell you that you're not going to have a lot of friends, but I want you to know that not all the people you know right now or even friends that you're going to make can come with you. Oh.

And I, like, at the time didn't get it. Like, he was like, just know that when you lose a friend, it's fine. Let them go. They can't go with you on your journey. I have chills. And I might have sent you this in a meme you didn't read yet or watch. Alastas. You guys, I just put you on one thread. Snoop Dogg talked about how, like,

As you grow, you have to lose friends because that's assuming that they all are growing with you. And that's just not how life works. So as you grow, you have to keep people who are like...

With you mentally, because if not, they will try to bring you down. Yeah. Like, they will, or there'll be jealousy, or, like, and whatever you're chasing or growing, like, your friends have to be with you, or, like, and I think... On the same brain wave. Yeah. And I think also, like, when you have secret haters around you, that energy, like, seeps into your blood. It's scary. Secret haters is, like, a very scary thing.

And here's the other thing. You can tell when your friend makes that switch because they could be like the most supportive. Like they want you to do good, but they don't want you to do better than them. And that goes for boyfriends, too. You know, deep down, like if you were to leave a friend, how they would speak about you. Here's the thing. Here's how you can tell if you have a good friend or not.

If something good happens to you, it's who you can tell good news to. Yes, who you're not afraid. And in your head, you automatically know like, oh, I'm not telling that person. Yeah.

And, like, it's, like, a sixth sense. I've been guilty before being, like, oh, I'm afraid to maybe tell this person because of my past and being, like, worried. And then you tell them and they're, like, you can tell they're authentically happy for you and you're, like, oh, my God, I was projecting. But there's also a difference of, like, you, I think, suffer from you don't want to put anything in the atmosphere and have the atmosphere fuck it up. True.

Do you know what I mean? Like in the universe. Yes. So you keep things like a little closer because you're like, I don't even want to say it because what if I jinx it? True. But that's not you not wanting to say. Or like I've been told like unless you sign a fucking contract, like I won't tell my mom things until like a contract is signed. That's insane. Well, I don't want her to get all excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you know like things don't happen. Yeah. It's like, mom, I'm going to, you know, like do this thing. Yeah, I'm going to be the president. Yeah. I feel like at this point we could freaking do it.

We could freaking do it. Did you see that guy in Turkey shooting team that just came in jeans and a t-shirt? And had his hand in his pocket. And everyone's like got the craziest gear on. He's like, can I turn this to the side? I was actually thinking about chapsticks recently. Have you ever like finished a chapstick? Never. Because you lose it, right? Yeah. Whoever actually finishes their chapstick without losing it should be the next president. Actually, one time in eighth grade, I finished a Blistex. And I'll never forget it.

Because it was the only time that's ever happened to me. Because I kept it in my desk. Oh, my God. Wait, I missed my desk. It was probably disgusting. No, I literally... No, that's two types of girls. I loved that day. My desk was always clean, though. So, like, I never... Like, those kids that would, like, dump it and they'd have, like, the craziest shit coming out. I'm like, how do you... It's literally two feet. How are you even getting it in there? Like, I had the cleanest desk. I'm like, where the fu... What's in your desk?

You know, what's funny is because I went to a private school, on the weekends, the public school kids would come into our school and take religious classes. Oh, yeah. And they'd freaking steal our stuff. So I could never keep my cool pens in, like, the front of my desk because they'd always get stolen. That's crazy because as a public school kid, my parents did drop me off at Sunday school because my parents wanted to get drunk at brunch. And I was like, Mom, what is this religion you're throwing me to? How long was Sunday school? Like an hour? Yeah.

Like, enough for them to, like, get drunk at brunch. So probably, like, two, maybe three. Oh, that's crazy. Anyway. Anywho. Also, yeah, watch Rock Hudson. Watch Sprint if you haven't. It's good. Oh, I haven't. It's really good. Okay. Because they have Sha'Carri Richardson, who's, like, that girl. Wait, can we just talk about her for a quick second? Yeah, she's in everything. Her...

Knowing that she's so much faster than everyone, first of all, gives me life. But second of all, her knowing that as she's running a race and then poses like for the camera because she knows she's so far ahead of everyone. Someone tried to do a study because apparently her knees stay high like longer than other people. And they were like they think that through physics like she actually could like run on water.

Because she keeps her leg... Like, she's so light on her toes when she runs. Something crazy. But also part of me is like... So she's Jesus. Yeah. She's Jesus. So...

Back to Sunday school. No, but if you're like going to win or lose a race by 0.2 seconds, my question is, are you afraid that your nails might slow you down in the air? Or their hair. Or the hair. Sometimes they have long hair. Some girls' hair is so long. Yeah, that makes me, like I would shave my head. I shave my pussy, shave my head. Same for swimming. Swimming. I saw the girls in the swimming had a lot of nails too. And I'm like, is that illegal? Oh, maybe that's helpful. Yeah.

I'm like, is that illegal though? You're just like... You have fins. I'm like... I've seen a Nalox extension in my day. Yeah, very interesting. And then there's Noah Lyles.

What's that? He just won. I thought you were saying it's no-aliles. I was like, what the fuck is an alile? No, no-aliles. No-aliles here. No-aliles. He just won the men's 100. So he's like an incredible character because he's actually like the sweetest, nerdy, cutest guy who's battled depression and asthma. He's just amazing. He...

basically like wants track to be popular so he like talks shit and like tries so hard to like be the drama but everyone's just like you're a sweetheart and he'll be like yeah I'm gonna beat these guys and everyone's like okay like did you see this swimmer that loves the chocolate muffins from the Olympic Village oh I saw that all the TikToks are about the muffins and it's just like kind of hilarious anyway I appreciate the Olympics um

I do find it adds, like, a little anxiety to my day. Just seeing people, like, have their dreams accomplished or completely ruined. Ruined, yeah. It doesn't do well for my mental health, I realize. So I have to, like, turn it off after four hours. I also think it's so crazy because obviously, like, the Olympics are run by men. And it's, like, a bunch of sports, you know? And it's, like...

Our world couldn't be more fucked up. And they're like, but guys, we're going to play basketball. It's such a dude mentality. It's like, okay, but we are going to see who the fastest swimmer in the world is. It is, guys. Like a guy could cheat on his best friend's sister and they'll be like, but we have to ball tonight. Yeah. It's like, okay, but we're in a league. Does that mean nothing to you?

It's like, okay. We signed up, though. I love ending the podcast in such a dark place. It actually feels good. It feels right. Yeah. We've been on a journey. Thank you guys so much for giggling with us. We announced our Voice Rest collection last week.

It's sold out. I do kind of like having these limited edition phrases that we love. I saw one girl texted her friend and said that her vagina was on voice rest. And that couldn't be more giggly coated. And that's the next shirt that's coming out. They go out on voice rest as well. That's amazing. So yeah, anything can be on voice rest if you say it is. Yeah. We have a couple tickets left on our tour. A couple shows. Yeah. That's like gearing up. My mom's like really nervous about our health. Yeah.

She's like, every day she's like, I need you to take your vitamins on tour. Like, I need you to get your rest. I'm like, oh my God. We will. We'll make sure we drink water. Yeah. Biggest lie I ever told. Thanks, guys. Okay, see ya. Bye. Bye.