Giggling about cheerleaders, ice cream, and threesomes
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What's up, my delightful gigglers? Wholesome, sweet, nice for a sundae. How is my goddaughter? She's doing good. I had like such mom guilt.

No. This weekend I was like getting picture and text updates of like what she was doing all weekend. She's like growing. And I'm like, does she know I'm coming back though? The thing is when she does see you, you're going to realize how like cats are so excited to see you. When people think cats aren't, it's like she's going to be so happy. I'm going to meet her after this pod, not to make it about me, but...

She has to meet her godmother. Yeah. What if she likes you more because she just knows? Well, that's why I let you guys bond for a week because I didn't want to have to take her. No, I'm like so obsessed with her now. No, but she's literally so you coded. She's going to see me and like barf. Can I say something though? This is like a bit, this might be a bit off-putting, but here we are. So like the first day I got her, like obviously you're like, this thing is so cute. And then like the second day I was like, okay, like-

I like her, obviously, but I'm not like in love with her. You're not bonded. Right. And then I got so nervous for like when you have a baby, like when it comes out, like everyone's like, oh my God, it's a love you've never felt before. And it's like, you're just like overjoyed. Like, what if I'm not? Didn't Khloe Kardashian come out and just was like, I pretty much did not feel that for a while. Yeah, but she didn't have it.

Like, she wasn't pregnant with her son. Oh. Like, that was a surrogate. So I think she was. But I was like, oh, my God. I could not imagine. Like, postpartum. I feel like a lot of men feel like that because they didn't carry the kid. Right. They don't feel as connected. I'm wearing my sunglasses right now. And this reminds me of this meme. Sometimes you wear your sunglasses and you can't talk, hear, or see. Right. Like, I need to take these off because I, oh.

Okay, I'm awake. Because you're like, now I need to try. You have like no stimulation. I don't know why. No, I can't. How come you can't hear when you have sunglasses on? You know when you're like walking the street and someone says something to you and you're like, I have my sunglasses on. It's like when you're driving and you're trying to find it so you like turn the radio down and you're like, I can't see where I'm going with this music. No, yeah, men will be like, okay, it's the thing.

But that's the thing with having babies. Like, it's a lot of the unknown, but it's a journey. Right. Motherhood is a journey. Look at us speaking as a mother of six years. It's a journey. But Butter, I wasn't even trying to adopt. She just wasn't coming out from under the bed. No, I definitely feel different. Like, I think about things differently. I'm like, I have a child at home I need to provide for. But I also was very careful when you were, like, picking out the cat that, like—

You have to pick a cat that's right for you and a cat that likes you, like a cat that picks you. Yeah. Because, like, some cats could take weeks to, like, settle in. Like, a lot of cats will do this thing where you get your cat and then the next day you cannot find your cat. It happens all the time. Like, if you look at Google, it's, like, a top search, where is my cat? Like, multiple times because cats are insane at hiding. Like, they will find –

In radiators. Yeah. So many times I've gotten a kitten and they hide and we think we lost the kitten. No, she got inside of my bed frame. Yeah. I was like, okay, you're so skinny. No, they're creative, they're stealth, they're spies. No, they literally are. But it sounds like you guys have connected really well early on. No, even Craig said he's never seen a cat with this personality before. I'm like, well, yeah.

She's like her mom. One green flag about Craig. Is he loves cats. Yeah. Yeah. And you know I hate a compliment. Yeah. Hate giving a man a compliment. Especially for Craig. Right. But it's, that's one thing that I'm like, that's a good man right there. Right. Because cats require consent. Do they? Yes. Like you can't just like go up and pet, right. You can't just like go up and pet a cat. Like dogs, you can literally just like put their face in your mouth. You can steal a dog. Right.

For sure. So easily. And the dog will say thank you. Yeah, the dog's like, of course I'm going to come with you. Like, you can't kidnap a cat. No. Couldn't catch it. Dogs will pay you to kidnap them. Yeah. This is a cat podcast. Truly. It's truly a cat podcast. That was my caption. This is a cat podcast. This is a cat podcast. Also, what happened to you protecting Daphne from...

Because it lasted 47 seconds. You know, she's so pretty. Yeah. You were like, it's actually a disservice to our nation. It's actually a disservice, especially in an election year. I was like, the country needs something to unite on. Also, Biden just stepped down. Is Daphne ready? They do have the same shade of hair. They do say that. Being a president is just about being good looking. It's like 90% being good looking. Being the president? Yeah, like, think about there's been no, like,

Really ugly presidents. Have there been really good looking ones? I mean, I don't want to get political, but some of them are hot. This is a political podcast. Some of them are hot. Abraham Lincoln was like 6'9". Abraham Lincoln was like... I know they say like JFK was like our best looking president, but like when I see pictures, I'm like, oh yeah. See, I... I like him. You're into him. Oh yeah, well you like that look. You like like light hair, light eyes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean...

Like your boyfriend. Okay, anyways. Craig doesn't have light hair, does he? It's like light brown. Yeah. Okay, so I was violently woken up this morning. By? My husband. Mm-hmm. Who we forgot. Wait, you never say the word husband. Because when I'm mad at him, he's my husband. Okay. My husband. Yeah. Plays golf, so he wakes up at 6 a.m.

Which is fine, because I don't wake up. But I feel like he wakes up at 6 a.m., like... Naturally. Yeah, like... No alarm. Yeah, like, around 5.30. Yeah, no golf. He'll be up. No, Des' schedule is my jet lag schedule that I'm, like, trying to, like, hold on to all the time, and that's just, like, it is just his schedule. No, it's crazy. So he...

He's, like, getting his golf shorts, and I guess he's, like, he's seeing what's in his golf shorts, and a nickel comes out and hits the floor. I thought we were getting bombed. Like, I thought we were under attack. I bounce up, and he's like, sorry, there's a nickel in my shorts. And I'm like, are you—it's 5.30 a.m. on a Sunday. You've been in a nickel.

Like, and then I just couldn't really fall asleep because... So then you're up at 6 a.m. So I'm up, but I'm not productive when I'm up. It's just, like, the demons come early. What does Butter do? Oh, Butter's happy I'm up. Butter, she starts cuddling. Because cats are up, like, they don't... They sleep during the day. Right. And then, like...

3 a.m. Yeah, we're talking about cats again. They have things to do. They are busy. Yeah. They're getting things in order. They're getting things done. They're organizing things. They're working like multi-level marketing cat schemes. And then...

They're kind of like, when is she going to wake up? And some cats will annoy you and wake them up. But her nose, like, this bitch is not getting up. So she'll wait till I murmur. And then she'll come in, start the petting. But then that's why, like, I hunky-dory or whatever they call it, honky-tonky. When you know when you stay in bed... Hunker down? What's that thing going around on TikTok about, like, it's like a Swedish thing for when you wake up, you just, like, stay in bed for a long time? Oh, um...

Hercule. Hercule Dercule. Yeah. You guys knew what I was talking about. Hercule Dercling. So we're cuddling. We're cuddling. Are you Googling that? He doesn't even want to. He's like, I'm not even acknowledging that. But the thing about cats is like, however hard it was to get off the couch now, it's like a hundred times harder when you have a cat with you. No. I literally had to go somewhere this on Friday and I texted the person. I said, sorry, I can't come. My cat fell asleep on my leg. I said, okay.

The memes are real. What am I supposed to do? The memes are real. So, Sierra and I have been sending each other cat memes, like, since the day we met. That's, like, the one, like, crazy things will be happening in our lives, and I'll just be texting her a cat meme, and it's just how we connect. We don't talk about anything important. Right.

So now you're kind of... Wait, when's the last time you talked to Sierra, you know? We'll like have an insane phone conversation like once every couple months and then go back to cat memes. And that's true friendship though. It is so true friendship. Because then when you do talk, it's like no time has passed. And she knows that like I know what's going on through you if I need to get information. I forget where I saw this. Where did I see this? I don't actually think it was TikTok. I think it was...

Instagram reels. I don't know where it was, but someone said like the sign of a good friend is if you haven't seen them in a long time or like talk to them in a long time and then you see them, it's like they had just come back from the bathroom. Yes. And that I feel like is so true. And you can't like fake that or force that. It's just there or not. I also hate when like

You feel like you should know more stuff about a person because they are online, but they're like not on your algorithm. So they like expect you to know things. And you're like, I don't know why you're not my algorithm. You should be. And I should know. But I'm like, did they get married or did they just go on a long vacation? Like, do they have a honeymoon? And that's confusing. And then some people, you know, too much when you see them and you're like, I need it. I'm freaking them out. And I need to like not say that I know that you just went like here, here and here with your boyfriend and then you broke up. And then like, yeah.

Also, I haven't been following too closely, but did you see Brooke Schofield got a cat? I didn't see that. She got a kitten. But I thought she had a cat. She has a cat, but she got a kitten. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And I don't want to, like, make it about us, but everything goes back to Giggly. I was texting her and I was like, by the way, Paige got a cat. Don't tell anyone because it wasn't out yet. But I was obviously telling everyone I knew. Right. Right.

And she was like, oh my God, this is so cute. So maybe I inspired her to get a cat. What kind of cat did she get? She got a Bengal from like the side of the road, she said. Oh my God. But Bengal cats are known to be like really feral. Aren't they big too? They will grow big and they also like, they're talkative. No, what's the one that's like huge? Oh, I was going to say a monsoon. Mancoon. Mancoon. Is it Mancoon? Yeah. Yeah, but they're like...

When you said monsoon, then it popped in my head. See, that's why we're friends. Because like I, that is a perfect example of our friendship. Monsoon. And then I thought of it. Mancoon. Got it. Like you led me there. Hang out with your man though. And like you say something really stupid, but like, obviously I'm like, I'm going to get there. I'm just taking my time. And they're like, there's no, the word. Yeah. Sometimes when I'm with Craig, like I'll say something and he'll just like, look at me or like,

continue doing what he's doing and like under my breath I'll be like Hannah would have laughed. Hannah would have gotten it. Not to talk about men again but I'm trying not to talk about cats. I do have to do a shout out to my husband though for just being like really cool during a time of like his girl life

doing something big. I'm so happy you're bringing attention to that. Because I thought... I was talking to my mom this morning and I was like, let's wait a second because we're talking about previous men in my life who've tried to destroy my life. Yeah. And I was like...

Is it a miracle? Past boyfriends would have cut the cameras when you were filming Netflix and been like, shoot, a technical difficulty. Like, the amount of men that have actually tried to ruin my career, like, go out of their way to, like, blackball me. Like, I've dealt with so much shit. Really? The girls have been amazing. It's truly just been men. And I was like, how the f— Like, not to reward men for doing nothing, but, like, thank God he's doing nothing right now. Well, here's the other thing that sometimes, like, I get a little bit annoyed with the men. Like—

Now we're mad at him. That lasted all of 30 seconds. We're like, you know what? Actually, sorry, you're doing the right thing. One time Craig was like, well, yeah, but I don't have the reputation of cheating. I don't cheat on you. And I'm like...

Okay, so you want me to be so happy that you don't do the thing you're not supposed to do? Taylor Tomlinson, shout out to Taylor, an amazing friend and comedian, has this hilarious joke where a guy would tell her every time a girl hit on him. And she was like, thank you so much for holding to the one thing of this arrangement that you have to do is not cheat on me. The literal one disclaimer before you get into it. And it's like the only thing you had to do and also like,

She's like, do you not realize that we could fuck any guy we want at any time? No, literally. Literally. We're fighting off men all the time. When I'm at my ugliest, there's a man in the Lower East Side that is ready for me. Beyond ready. Sweaty. And disgusting. Actually, for Burner Phone, we have...

Like people call in on the pod and it's the best part. We get to like hear from people. And he calls me and he goes, I think this is the next level of your comedy because we have men starting to submit stuff that like in inappropriate ways. Like what? Like give me an example. This dude, like I said, like submit to the pod. And he just submitted this like sexting type thing.

phone sex type message to me about, like, my pussy. About, like, loving you? Not that romantic. Oh. Like, gross. But, like, hitting on you. Yeah, like being like, Hannah, you're hot, and I, like... Oh, my God. Something, what do you want to do? What do you want to do? And Des is... I'm, like, literally... I'm... Des literally...

is the one who listens to them all. So he's like, babe, come in here. You gotta listen to this. And I was like, don't you? Like, isn't that fucked up? Yeah. And he's like, yeah, but it's kind of funny that he thought it was going to you, but it went to me. And I was like, yeah. I also, I went on Howard Stern's summer school thing and we got a call in from a guy

And he was being so nice. Like, he was like, I love your hand on the street interviews. Every guy talks the same in my accent. Love your hand on the street. I like how you interview people. You make them be themselves. And then he goes, have you ever been spit roasted? Wait, let me. Chris is laughing. Guys know what it is. Because you know what it is. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Okay, hold on. Let me just. I know what it is now, but at the time I didn't know. And I'm sitting there with four men. But I'm funny though, right? I'm funny. So I go.

Don't tell me what it is. In my head, I say like a pig and they all just look at me and they're like, we're sorry, we're going to get this guy off. And I go, no, no, no, let me answer. And I go, sorry, I don't cook. And no one laughed. No one laughed. And I was like, oh, so I have to be sexually harassed and I can't make a joke? Give me, please use the phrase in a sentence. Like last night, me and my teammate spit roasted a girl. Is that what they say? Spit roasted. Is that what they say? Chris, what would they, how would they use?

That's fair. I think that's fair. Spit roasted. Chris, when have you used it? Is it like a porn thing that you guys do? Yeah, it's a porn thing. Spit roasted. That we do? That you guys like fucking freaky little freaks. But, okay, hold on. But if it's happening, the man is doing it to the girl or the girl is doing it to the guy? It involves two men and one girl. Two men and one girl. See, every man knows it and we don't. Spit roasted.

So you don't know what the origin of it is? Is it? Okay, he's spitting in your mouth and the other one's... It's not that literal. This is awesome. This gas is awesome. Spit roasted. I literally had no idea, but it sounded violent. I literally, I can't, what I'm thinking in my head is disgusting. And I can't even say it out loud. I would assume that like, if you're having sex with two guys... Yeah. Yeah.

One is in front of you and one is behind you. Yeah, but how's that different from the Eiffel Tower? I don't know. I think they're like... Can you boys figure out your words? Like, figure it out. Is that what it is? Well, I don't know. What is it? Do you want me to look it up? Yeah, Google it. For the HR. No. Go to Urban Dictionary and look up. Part of being a woman in comedy is you either deal with men... You learn something new every day, you know? And...

That's what we should all take from this. We're learning and we're growing. Okay. Okay. It's a verb. Okay. To spit roast. A sexual activity involving three people, two active males, and one passive male or female. Man one penetrates person two from the rear, in parentheses, anal or vaginal, while he slash she sucks the penis of person three. Okay. Okay.

Oh, so just a Tuesday. Oh, so Eiffel Tower is just when their heads connect. What? No, they slap hands. Oh, they slap hands. I thought that they were like... I don't know. Are people like out there doing that? Do you know what like gives me the ick? Men Eiffel Towering. Yeah. Them holding hands on the top. If two men are acknowledging each other during the threesome...

Should I leave? Whoa, guys. Whoa. It's also like, ugh, I mean, I don't even, anyway, so. So anyways, you got spit rose to do on Howard's turn. I got spit rose on Howard's turn, which was like on brand. Yeah. And then Des is getting messages. Um,

But not all guys are bad. No, that's true. I've realized if you're a girl listening who you've been having trouble trying to find like a guy who's not intimidated or who can handle you, that kind of shit. Well, I feel like I do always get more nervous in front of people I know. Like doing anything. I'm like, I...

Stop looking at me. Also, it's all about the process. Like it's every single day that like we've been helping each other with our stuff. The actual day of filming, it's like I did my work. You're ready. I supported you up to this point. I don't need to distract you because I'm so beautiful. When you're on stage, you're like, oh, my God. Sorry, my wife. The police are coming for me. Can we talk about bikinis for a second? Yeah. It's a gripe.

Yes. Okay. It's not really great because I support all women in the arts, but have you seen the new trend where the girls are wearing a normal bikini, but suddenly everyone's showing their underboob? No, I haven't seen that. I thought tankinis were coming back. I would love tankinis to come back. No, I think tankinis are having a little bit of a moment in Gen Z. Wait, that's so exciting. Cancel all your plans. Tankinis are coming back.

Because my thing is. Limited to, listen up. Why are you not the face of it? Because it's for kids. And it's sold in Kohl's. Okay, don't come for Kohl's. Even Chris was offended by it. Don't come for Kohl's. I'm not coming for Kohl's, but it's for, it's, they brought it back for tweens. It's a missed opportunity. It was a missed opportunity. And we could have done a whole tankini line. Oh.

Well, I just want to do a shout out to Lindsay Payloss, who started the whole, like, bikini on half her boob. Yeah. And, like, she's been doing it for, like, a decade. Like, getting a smaller top and it's underneath. Yeah. And it's, like, you don't have to have big boobs. Like, all girls are doing it. Yeah. It's just risky. It's risky. Would you rather an underboob or a side boob? I've, like, actually never done an underboob. I think side boob is, like...

Yeah. I actually, I like an under boob. I'm trying to think if I ever really do it. It's just like, have you ever done it on purpose? Like, I feel like. Not on purpose. I've done a side boob on purpose, obviously, but I've never done an under boob on purpose. But I feel like it does look hot. Wait, I have some fun, like, summer themes that I wrote down.

And I was like, I have to ask Paige this on Giggly Squad because we went to Snowflake, which is the best homemade ice cream in Long Island, in Riverhead.

That sounds so fucking good right now. It's literally like so... You know what I would kill for right now, which is so niche? Remember when you were in middle school and you would get those Dixie cup ice creams and one side was chocolate and the wooden spoon, which would send me into a literal coma. But I would devour like 12 of those right now. Would you combine it or would you eat vanilla then chocolate? I never combined it. Is combined it the word? For sure. Yeah, it is. I've never combined it.

I'm freaky with food. You know that. So I was like being naughty. You're all up in there. I think I ate the wooden spoon. See, oh my God. They were all, we're both so fucking opposite. I hated the way the wooden spoon felt in my mouth. Cause you felt like you were going to get a splinter in your tongue. I was like, this is dirty. I was like, give me a goddamn spoon. Give me a goddamn spoon.

The turtles are fine. Give me a fucking spoon. That was very ahead of its time before they even knew the turtles were drowning. Yeah, I wouldn't spoon. Would you prefer a cup or a cone? Because someone made a TikTok like if you're not getting a cone, you're crazy. And I was like, then call me fucking crazy because I'm getting a cup. Okay. Okay.

This is about to blow your friggin' mind. It depends on where I am. And if you're taking a photo. And if I'm taking a photo. If I'm taking a photo, we're going cone. We're going cone. But I'm not talking about photo. I'm talking about...

authentically you not for the camera authentically me not for the camera I like to get a cone because I do like the taste of the cone and I like to start out with like eating the cone but then sometimes I get sick of the ice cream but I don't want to throw it out so I will also ask for an additional cup and then I'll just put the ice cream right in there and then I'll spoon off the ice cream as much as I want then I'll pick the cone back up with a little bit of ice cream on it and then I eat it beyond high maintenance I have a process

Because here's the thing. I feel like up until like a couple of years ago. You started a full LLC to eat ice cream. When I was younger, like in the summer, my dad, honestly, I don't know how he didn't like gain a thousand pounds. Every single night in the summer, my dad would stop and get me ice cream. Like every, I'm not kidding. Every single night, right when I got out of school until I went back.

We had ice cream every single night. He would take me to Friendly's. I'd get the same thing every time. My dad loved Friendly's. Yeah. My dad would do this thing where we'd be like playing a game or golf or something and whatever I'd do, he'd be like, if you get it in, I'll get you a milkshake. And he'd just keep doing that until, so he could get a milkshake. Right. So he would play that game. Not a huge milkshake girl. Milkshakes are overrated. Like take it or leave it. Take it or leave it. I mean, they're so good, but like you feel sick.

Yeah, you can have like a few sips. Like I'd rather eat the ice cream than really get a milkshake. My thing is, do you actually like the taste of waffle cones?

Or do you like the sugar cone? I like the sugar cones. Okay, thank you. Let's raise awareness on that. Okay, I have actually never ordered... Like, I don't actively get a waffle cone. You have to say, can I have the sugar cone? Sugar cone. Okay, good. We're on the same page. Because waffle cone, it's cardboard. No, waffle cones are not good. They're not good. They just have good PR. They have amazing PR. And do you want to know what it is? It's the structure of their body. Like, the body of a waffle cone, it's different. It's unique. It's matched. Yeah, it's just...

It's never been done before. Where like the sugar cone is like its frumpy cousin. And it's like nobody cares about the sugar cone. I do. But it gets it done. It gets the job done. My thing is I think I'm too spastic for a cone. I think I'd be talking and I would like...

like, get excited about something, and then, like, I'd fling it, or I would crack it. I was so high maintenance that, like, eating ice cream with my mom, like, I'd eat it for a little bit, and then I'd give it to her and say, please clean it. You needed a team. Please clean it up for me. Oh, how would she clean it? She would clean up the parts that were, like, dripping, and then she'd give it back to me, and then I'd eat. You're a monster. No, I was a fling.

I hated like anything that was going to get me dirty. Yeah, I didn't want it dripping on me. I like would freak out. Like I really couldn't even play with the neighborhood kids because I was like, mom, they're so dirty. Like they're messy. So we shot something last week together and we're at the hotel.

I didn't want to talk about it. It was actually really upsetting. No. Hannah and I had to do something the other day. We were so excited to shoot something. No one ran it by us. The call time was 4.30 in the morning. 4.30 a.m. So we'd wake up at like 3.40. I mean, I couldn't even believe we went to bed. I remember waking up and just being like,

This is illegal. No, for sure it was illegal. And someone's getting arrested. It's child labor. But it was so funny because I didn't wake up with like morning face because I still. Because we hadn't hit a REM. The REM hadn't hit. I was like, I was like, this is amazing. I'd rather do this than shoot at like 9 a.m. But I got there and it's fucking it's hot. It's a summer. I forgot my Stanley there.

Oh, no. I know. This is my backup Stanley. As she's drinking your... The one that I... Anyway, she leaves her Stanley everywhere. This is the Stanley you brought. It's crazy because it's the biggest Stanley I've ever seen. How do you...

Not walk into it when you're trying to leave. You know, and I was walking out of the shoot and I was like, I feel like I'm forgetting something. And I'm like, I'm not. And it was my frickin' Stanley. Well, you're a mother now. Like, there's a lot going on. I have so much to think about. But I was in the hotel room at like 5 a.m. air conditioning and sweating. And I was just like, it's really fucking hot. And they were like, it's funny because we did a shoot with Paige the day before and

In it was 90 degrees in a school place or something. Yeah. That had no AC and she didn't sweat. Wait, wait. OK, I did this photo shoot last week and it was like probably one of the most fun shoots I've done. One of like the most like things I'm so excited to come out in September. Yeah.

Well, it's like seems artsy. It was very artsy. It was very like back to school vibe almost. Because you're trying to get limited to. I'm just like, guys, this could have been us.

I just send them all these memes. I'm a teenager. I'm like, could be us, but you're playing. And so they called me and they were like, we're so sorry, but there's no air conditioning here. And it was like one of the hottest days of the year. See that? If I was, the shoot's canceled. And I was like, oh my God, totally fine. I go, everyone's going to drown. Well, here's what I said. I go, okay.

As a child model. Because when I legit did do limited to all the back to school shoots were in the summer. So like your shoot, like model shoots are opposite. So like you're shooting winter stuff in the summer. So you're in full coats and you're in whatever. Like they would have to like make sure you had water. I can't wait for the documentary to come out about limited to models. Yeah.

It's just you in the front. It's just me and literally, yeah. We had to wear coats when it was 80 degrees. And it was, like, really stressful and nobody asked if we were okay. So I was, like, I totally get it. I'm used to that. Like, I can wear the coats. And I...

really legitimately did not sweat. Like they had this big... He said everyone was dying of sweat and you were just like... My assistant had to walk out because she thought she was going to pass out. I looked over at her at one point and she had taken her pants and pulled them all the way up to her thighs. She's me. I'm her. And like took off her shirt and was just like...

She couldn't even take content that day. She was like, I'm so uncomfortable. Her phone was just slipping off her hand. No, literally. And so people had to like step out and I was like, let's keep going. Like next shot. Like I'm ready to go. I don't think I can ever be fully accepted by the fashion world because of my sweating. And that's what I tell myself when I don't get an email from Dior. I wonder though if it's, that's not great for me that I don't,

Sweat? Well, I was sweating. Does it come out on like your back or something? Like where is it coming out? No, I was sweating a little on my back. I sweat a lot under like under my hairline. Well, that's perfect because no one sees it. But here's the other thing. I had about 2,000 pounds worth of hair extensions in my hair. So I was – it was like I had a fur hat on for the entire day.

Wait, I'm so dumb. I was like, her hair is so long right now. Oh, in those pictures? Yeah. Like, I really thought your hair grew. Did I show you those pictures? No, but I think you posted like a BTS of you lying down. Yeah, and I had hair extensions. What's your favorite hair length of all time? Say it now.

Say it now. Wait, that just sounded so like, what's your favorite movie of all time? What's my favorite color? What's my favorite hair length of all time? I either liked when I had my short, short bob or when I like had my long, long hair. Like I used to have hair like down to my like. I know. And you'd like wear it to the side. Yeah. Your old reporting days. My old clubbing days.

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By the way, I told you, I call everyone Paige. I call my cat Paige. I call my mom Paige. It's become, I literally was like, Paige, Paige, Paige, get out of my head. So we have to, I did sports broadcasting at University of Wisconsin. Close to around the time that you did

What reporting was that that you were doing? You know, when you're, like, on a desk when you first had Instagram and you were, like, talking to camera? That was my first job. I was, like, trying to make videos to, like, put on YouTube. News videos. But I did... We have to do a compilation. I worked at, like, a news station and would do, like... Was it in... In Albany. Albany. Albany CBS 6. I interned there for two years. I'm obsessed with that. Mm-hmm.

So, yeah, we have to do a compilation video. If I didn't move to New York City, I probably would have stayed and done my local news. You would have been like, I don't know if you could do weather. Well, no, you have to go to school for weather. Oh, you have to, like... Yeah, that's... See, that's... Okay. Meteorology is actually, like, a... Yeah, like, you have to go to school for that. And, like, no. You can't just, like, one day be like, and now I'll do the fucking weather, bitch. But, like, don't... Why don't they have a meteor person? Like, why don't they have the meteors, like...

tell you and then you just say it like the people who do the news are not like investigating on the spot all the time well most of them are though like most that is the whole thing about being a news reporter is like you are the reporter okay like the nightly news yeah like those anchors yeah no they're reading yeah but like the field reporters they're the ones I just think

that's a lot to ask. That's being a journalist. I think there's a lot to ask for the meteorologist. That was your major too. No, I didn't get into journalism school. I was communications. Very different. Journalism at Wisconsin was like people are winning. I was communications but I was focused in journalism. Your college is canceled. Sorry. You know what? Did I tell you I talked...

to Jimmy Fallon about you. No, you didn't tell me. Did you say that I went to St. Rose? Well, there's this whole thing that afterwards you sit down on the couch and then you have like 30 seconds that you have to not embarrass yourself in front of Jimmy Fallon. And he was laughing at the Q-tip joke and I was like, ha ha. And then I go, by the way, my best friend Paige...

And my cousin Gianna went to St. Rose and he goes, no. And I go, and it's canceled. What the hell? And he's like, yeah, like, of course, I'm the alumni of a school that gets canceled. And I was like, no, he's like the most famous to come out of you and Jimmy. Just my cousin Gianna. No, literally. So where is she going to school now?

I don't know. To be honest, I have no idea. No, because I feel like one day they just literally sent everyone an email and were like, hey, guys. She's in New Jersey, and honestly, when someone goes to college in New Jersey, if it's not Rutgers, I get very confused. Yeah. There's like NJITF, JQ. Next question, because I have a lot of questions for you. Have you worn jorts yet? I can't do it, Hannah. I can't do it because I have a short torso. What?

I feel like, no, I could do it. But I just, like, can't. It doesn't. It's not my. It goes against everything you stand for. Yeah. And work and represent. Yeah. But you did. It would be like if one day I was just, like, Jorts and Crocs. And, like, um. And a jersey. And a jersey. A crop jersey. I could do a crop jersey. Did you want to tell everyone what you said about my outfit on Call Her Daddy?

I texted it. No, I said this to you, to your face. Fully to my face. I low key loved it. Like I, but here's the thing. I loved you in it.

Okay, you're making your point clear. I'm not trying to force that outfit on other people. This is the problem about me having a stylist who I love and understands me. Yeah. She lets me be you a little too much, which I love because she was like, what do you want to do for Call Her Daddy? You give them an idea, like this is a vibe I want, and I go...

Billie Eilish, Knicks. I also love that at Barstool you were wearing a shirt that said Meats. I don't think people were picking up on it enough. I didn't get enough credit. The Mets also messaged me. I don't think they realized it was a Meats shirt. Wait, dang. They were like, hey, we'd love for you to throw the first pitch, possibly, maybe one day. And Des was like, she's a fucking Yankees fan. No way.

Oh, what's going on here? Is that not the outfit? No. Oh, that's the Call Her Daddy outfit. I was like, oh, that's the Knicks. It's from this Instagram. You're going really sporty this week. So sporty. It's called Old Jewish Men. That's the Instagram that I got the Meats shirt from. And I am a Mets fan. Just half my family is Mets, half is Yankees, and I can't choose. But I can depending on how they're doing in the year.

And I would like to throw a first pitch. And also your ex-boyfriend played for the Yankees, and so it's like... It's a whole thing. You have to bring that up. People still send me that. Speaking of sports, have you watched any of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders documentary? Okay, so Grace was actually telling me to watch it, and I got upset after the first three minutes. I got too upset. Wait. I got, like, emotionally upset. No. Elaborate.

When they were going through which girls were like ugly or pretty enough, I couldn't do it.

I was like, leave these women alone. They're all perfect. Did you ever watch the original show? No. That was on TLC? No. That was on TLC. Brutal. Absolutely brutal. Yeah, apparently they've gotten so much better. Whatever really was happening was edited out, I'm sure. One of the girls is in trouble because she was like, yeah, we have eating disorders. And someone was really like, some girls are mean. And they were so mad at her for saying that.

No, it's... I was like, isn't that the point? I actually, I haven't finished it. I will say, I think it's shot, like, beautifully. Like, it's a really good way, like, they put it together. I don't know. It's like, the production value of it, I think, is really good. Yeah. There are, like, some things where I'm like, is anyone talking about this online? Well, this is the thing. I don't think... I haven't watched it, so I have no evidence. But, like, did

Do they realize that people are like, this is insane, but they're filming it like this is cool? I kind of feel like Texas in general is like in a little bit of a bubble. Oh, for sure. Like they're in their own kind of like world and they go by their own rules. So I feel like it's almost like if you don't live in Texas, like you wouldn't get it kind of thing. Also, full respect, cheerleading is such a difficult sport. Just the concept of when it's used purely to root on men is

I can't. Well, yeah. The mention of your whole sport is to support a man. And it was like, and it did touch on eating disorders, but like, it wasn't giving the root of, it was like, but it's because of you guys. Like, our

Are we all like acting like, oh, she. It's her problem. She made it up. Yeah, like it's her problem. Like you're not weighing her every time she walks in. Yeah, like she did it to herself type of thing. It's like, okay, but this is directly from you guys. Yeah, yeah. And so like that part is a little bit.

awkward and like uncomfy I couldn't get past the first three minutes when they were basically like turning down girls because they weren't pretty enough especially when like it was their idea of pretty okay well then you would have never gotten through the episodes when they're literally cutting people because these no I can't because before they cut they cut the people crush people's dreams Hannah there's a full makeover day that the swan no literally that like

This is before they've even gotten the full team. Like, they're in training camp right now. And so they do, like, a full makeover day. And they, like, bring all the girls into a salon. Like America's Next Top Model. Yep. And then they look at each one and they're like, and now you're going to be a redhead. And this is too, like, you need highlights. And these women are good at this because they know what images work of what men think is hot. Like, they're basically changing them for the male gaze. I don't know.

I don't know what the criteria is. Exactly. That's why it was so weird. It was just these like older women being like, she should definitely go blonde. And then the fit, then they do the outfit fittings. And it's like the skinniest girls you've ever seen in your life. And they're like, I'm not loving the way that's sitting on you. And I'm just like. The way? I would have.

Torch that place. No. And, like, the women that are telling, like, and then they're cutting, like, the girls. And the girls are devastated. And they're, like. Yeah, because they haven't eaten for nine months. And they're starving. And they're starving. And so they're, like, can you please. Like, it's almost like they cut you with no warning. They're, like, look. We think they gaslight the fuck out of them, too. They're, like, you're so busy. How would you even. Busy trying to become a Dallas cheerleader. And the girls are, like, I know I can do it. Like, give me another week. Like, and I'll nail it. And they're, like, okay.

No, we just don't think that like you'll get it in that time. And so like the way they let them go to like. Well, yeah, because they're not like devastating. It's all just like on their weird vibes. It's not like, oh, you won this match. So you get to the next round. It's like we just your energy that you were bringing to the function wasn't right. And here's the other thing. This is going to be a little bit of a controversial statement. I don't think I'd I respect anyone that much to let them tell me like you.

You should change this about how you look and you're not you're not going to be able to get this in one week. Like I love revenge. So like if someone was saying that to me, I feel like I would have stood up and been like, let me tell you about you yourself for a second. No, but this is the thing. Have like have you ever looked in the mirror? Who told you you could be a redhead? This is the thing. Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders is the ultimate. It's not like, oh, I'm going to leave and do better. Like this is the best of cheerleading.

Like, they are the ultimate. So it's like, you're not going to get to, like, the best job and be like, fuck you guys.

It's all I want. Yeah, we would. I mean, I would, yes. But I'm saying if you really want to be a cheerleader, like... If I got my dream... What is my dream job? We're doing it, though. So, like, who's going to tell... Who are we going to say? Look, let's be honest. We're at a point... We're not good with bosses. Here's the thing. I just wanted to go in and hug a lot of them and be like, I'll say something for you. Oh, I'm going to say it in a way I think you'll get it. Because we've all been there. Okay. The boy you're obsessed with.

He looks at you. Yeah. And he's like, I think you look really pretty when your hair's a little shorter. Like you have it. That's literally. Hold on a second. Oh my God, it's crazy because I was cutting my hair. I literally was cutting my hair when you walked in. I'm trying to think. When's the last time that's happened to me? And I've been like, yep, I got it. All of one second. All of one second. I was like obsessed with this guy and he dressed like very quirky. What did he do?

He, like, didn't even do anything. I just, like, knew what his style was. And so, like, I went on ASOS one time, and I remember, like, I was going to be, like, with my friends for, like, two days straight. And I was like, okay, I need to get, like, quirky outfits. And he's going to be like, that's so cool.

Your mom must have been furious. No, I'll never forget it. It was like I got this like polo dress that was like long sleeves. It would have like different colors. And I remember her holding it up at one point and goes, what is this? Don't ever wear this. I was like, it was a phase I went through. I was actually talking to Kate Kennedy about this. And I was telling her about how my best friend who –

Not doing well in school at the time. Yeah. Memorized the entire Yankees roster. Yeah. So a guy who liked the Yankees would like her. And I was like, you can't do math. Like, you can't even spell. And you memorized everyone in their positions for dick. Like, this is crazy behavior. Sometimes in my 20s, like, I... When there was, like, a lull in dating or I was just, like, over everyone, I would go on the Yankees roster so that I knew what they looked like so that...

If ever I ran into one about town, I would know that was a Yankee. Yeah. I mean, that is part of the game if you're being a jersey chaser. You got to know who they are. That's true. That's the first rule of jersey chasing. Yeah. Also, do you know like how moms get crazy strength? Like a drone? Yeah. Yeah, like if their baby's under a car, they'll like lift a car. That's just what I heard. You get like crazy crush strength where like you can do insane things. No. My stamina was...

When I have a crush is unmatched. Do you feel like you're like, you get elevated in like all your senses? Like you can see him from like 500 feet peripheral vision. You know where he is because he's your crush. You're like, everyone shut up. I'm watching him from the side. Like in a dark, pitch black club, I can see his eyes and I can see who he's talking to. We get straight up super powered. No, it's kind of scary. And then.

Even in the bedroom, you're like, I've never done this position before. But today, this is what I do. This is my thing. I pulled every tendon. You're just so into trying new experiences. I love it. I love it.

You're just so easy and go with the flow. But you know what? I do think dating gets harder in your 30s in a good way where just a lot of women are like, yeah, I'm not doing that. So then like, yeah, well, you're more authentically yourself. Yeah. Like I would be scared right now to like be actually out dating because sometimes I think about like, OK, what would I be like if I was single right now? Like 31? Because it's

so drastically different than when I was single at 27. Because you're like, don't tempt me to be alone. Don't tempt me to leave this. I would love to leave this date. And I'm like, oh, I'd be a shut-in. For sure. Like, I wouldn't. And anything, like, now I think if I went on a first date and someone said something where, like, five, six years ago, I'm like, he's zany. Yeah.

He doesn't shower. He's like all in that trowel. Like now if someone said something that I would leave. Yeah. I'd be like, look, I gotta go home. Like I don't have time for this. When you're 20s, you'll literally be like, wait, this is a new kind of guy that I've never experienced before. And he's going to teach me all these new things about hygiene that I didn't know. And now I'd just be like blocked. Like get out of here. Shout out to the girls who are dating because like, do you know how it's so hard to like engage with any man? Yeah.

You have to meet a new man like multiple times a week when you're dating, which is unsafe. Not me. Not now. The energy they bring to functions. No, that's the other thing. They taking on their energy. It's just like, no. Yeah. Multiple first dates. I couldn't. I can't. If I was single right now, I think I'd legitimately have to...

I wouldn't date for like a while. I would FaceTime. I would FaceTime. I would just do FaceTime and then I wouldn't have the balls to be like, I don't think this is working out. I'd be like, oh no, I'm under a bridge. I think I would do like one date a month. Like truly. On FaceTime. Yeah, like I wouldn't, I couldn't. Or it would be like you're at work. Well, we don't have a work. But you'd be like somewhere you want to go and you'll be like, you can stop by. I hate when people stop by. No, I know. One thing I learned recently is that close...

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I also finally watched the Brandy Helville documentary, which I feel like you didn't... Brandy Melville. Brandy Melville. Was it... Brandy Helville? I think Helville was the name of the documentary. Oh, was it? Did I make that up? I think you made that up. I don't think you did it justice. You were just like... Did it justice what? As in you were like, yeah, it was like bad company. Oh, did I even talk about it? You very vaguely talked about it. And then I was like, I don't want to watch it. Honestly, I didn't really like...

Watch it. You're the documentary girl. Yeah. I like, I watched it, but also like I was on my phone. Give me a freaking break. Like I watched it the way everybody else watches a documentary and that's on your fucking phone.

Well, I didn't finish it, but like it's fucked up. Brandy Melville is run by a weird Italian man. Is he Italian? He's an Italian man who like started. I thought he was Russian. He's Italian, but he had some Russian guys under him. Like it's a full mob. Yeah. Mafia, whatever. So in Italy, in Prato, there's all these like Chinese factories. So it says made in Italy, but it's literally like

It's a Chinese factory. And he wasn't selling that well in Italy, so he just started Googling, like, U.S. trends and then just did one size. You know they have doors that's, like, purposely hard to get into because they only want skinny people in it? Like, the doors are, like, really narrow. I really missed that part. No, it's great. I missed the skinny door part for sure. Like, you literally walk in, it's, like, the skinniest door to fit. And...

Their whole thing was when anyone wanted to work there, they had to take a photo and send it to the head guy. And he would say yes or no based on if she was

pretty and skinny. And then their job was whenever they saw a girl who was pretty to take a photo. So if you're just like shopping there, they go, hey, can we take a style shot of you for research? And they take it, send it to him, and then he'd be like hire her on the spot. So they just would hire girls based on being pretty. And then they would take photos of what these girls were wearing and then immediately replicate whatever their outfit was. And that's the entire business model. And then they would take these like cool like 16, 17-year-old girls and fly them like first class to...

China or Italy and just have them like look through everything and at first you're like this is so cool women in the arts giving these girls power but they're like these girls are doing jobs that like a full C-level team would do and they're getting paid in like nothing but the girls are like we got a free hotel room when it's like you guys should be paying they're like this is an honor to be asked

Exactly. And it's like, that's actually highly illegal. And then they would basically... That's legitimate child labor. And it's basically like the Dallas cheerleaders where they're both cults and if the girls gained any weight, they'd get fired. People aren't talking about that. How it's a cult. Yeah. It's a cult. It's a full cult. Yeah. The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. I feel like if you have to dye or cut your hair...

It's a cult. Wait. New criteria. For cults. If you have to change your hair, you're in a cult. You're in a cult.

Because in what other situation do you have to cut your hair? Unless the only acceptable one is like if you are a model and you're doing like some type of campaign and they're like, this is the vibe for this like one picture. Like, can we do this? Yeah. That's different because then you get to leave and go home at the end. Yes. But modeling is a little culty too. It definitely has culty vibes. For sure. You can get caught up in the wrong situation. Yeah. Yeah.

Such a good point. But I just want people to understand that Brandy Melville is not like a bunch of like, even if it was a bunch of like evil women running it, at least it's women running it. The fact that it's like an evil creepy man makes it so much worse. And it's like for teens. Like that makes me uncomfortable. Yeah. So it's like. I never went, like I never was in the Brandy Melville space. No. We didn't have one.

I remember walking in and it was just like a fucking disaster. I remember walking in one time realizing it was one size fits all. And I was like, well, that's like, that doesn't work. How does that work? And then like walking out. Getting confused. Never went through that. It was very California. Yeah. What's that other store that everyone loved in New York City? American. Not American Apparel. I was obsessed with American Apparel. L4, something force? No, LXL.

I don't know, but I remember all the girls from my PR internship would go there after work. And I'd be like, these are the most disgusting clothes I've ever seen. Like, why are you guys all obsessed with this? Yeah. And like leaving. It's very culty. Very culty. So yeah, everyone should just know about that. And I'm not taking down a small business. I'm taking it on a cult. A conglomerate. A conglomerate. I watched...

Some of the Simone Biles. I watched it all. Tell me everything. I love her. I'm obsessed with her. How funny is she? No. Like, goofy, cute, obsessed. Put her in my pocket. No, I'm so obsessed with her and what she's doing for, like,

Women in general, women in sports, obviously, and just like mental health. And the fact that she like I feel like no one talks about if your mind is not connected to your body, you literally can't do anything. And the fact that she called her mom right after she pulls out of the Olympics and says, I can't do it. And her mom says, then don't do it. Her mom was so awesome there.

Because her mom could have been like, what are you doing? We're all here watching you. You ruined everyone's night. What do you do? Like she could have been like, yeah, she could have been like very coachy. And Simone was like, I can't do it. And she's like, don't do it. You're not doing it. You know what you're doing. You're not doing it. And you could tell that she was just like, she just needed her mom's like reassurance.

And her mom was clearly fine. She walks out. She goes, she's pulled out. It's fine. We're good. Yeah. Then when she goes back to sit down, she's out. Like, it's fine. Next. We're good. Like, I loved that energy. Yeah, because everyone, like, we've been, I remember there's a lot of situations where you feel like you need to impress your family and everyone's there supporting you. And, like, everyone's watching. Everyone's watching, that kind of thing. And, oh, my God, I had such bad, I just had chills because I,

Yeah, well, they call it the twisties, but it's basically if you, it's like the yips. Are you familiar with the yips? I am not. Okay, so the yips, I suffer from the yips a lot in tennis. It was really bad. But it's like you get it in golf, you get it in sports. There's like in baseball, I think it was Chuck somebody on the Yankees like got the yips and he literally couldn't throw from second base to first base.

It's literally where you just get in your head about something. And then your body won't do it. And you psych yourself out and you can't do it. It's basically a severe anxiety disorder with performance. So it's like how people get into slumps. It's kind of like that. But Yips is like Tiger Woods when he was coming back couldn't chip for a while. It's like writer's block. It's exactly like writer's block. So the thing with Tiger Woods when he has the Yips with chipping...

It's embarrassing. Like, an amateur golfer can chip better than him. Honestly, that sounds like an ice cream parlor. Yip and chip. Yip and chip. I love it. I really love it. But if Simone Biles gets the yips, she could crack her skull open. Wow.

Well, right. Which people were not understanding. Yeah, people were, like, I feel like talking about that. Like, she could break her neck and be paralyzed. And she wasn't going for, like, she has to go for insane moves. So, like, the move she was doing, like, she could paralyze herself. It's crazy that, like...

She changed the rules, too, because she's so good. Oh, yeah. She has full moves named after her and stuff. But the thing is, is she was like, she's a human. And no one can understand the pressure of being the face of the Olympics. Right. I mean, Michael Phelps had to smoke weed to get through it. But, like, it's to be human and then be put, like, a superhero. Yeah.

Like, the stuff that she was battling... And then, it's true, she had a lot of past trauma from a lot of forms of abuse. Yep. And...

Like, with performance, and that's why, not to make it about my Netflix special, but, like, I felt, like, past stuff coming up when, like, a pressure moment arises. Yeah. Like, your demons are, like, ooh, we like this scary feeling. Yeah. Like, this is where we live. It's, like, bacteria, like, thriving. It's, like, yes, this is where our time shines. Yeah. And I think...

Her basically being like, I'm going to protect myself. And yeah, she was so depressed after. But she's coming back to Tokyo. And then when I'm watching it, she was like, I never thought I'd be doing gymnastics at this point in my life. And I'm like, oh, damn, how old is she? She's like 39, you think? Yeah. And she's like, and I'm 27. And I'm like, OK. You know, whatever.

Well, gymnasts, they're like 13. No, it's crazy. And talk about a sport with like beauty and like their bodies had to look a certain way. Also, it was like primarily white girls who would wear these like little bangs. Like it was all about these like weird...

Weird haircuts. It looked like an Amish institution. No, weird haircuts. But everyone was like, it's the skinny blonde girl with bangs is how you have to look. So then like when Gabby Douglas won, everyone was like, why does her hair look like that? And it's like, because she doesn't have blonde bangs. Right. And why does that have anything to do with her performance? So Simone Biles, holy shit. She's incredible. And her whole thing was just like,

Yeah, she had some mental blocks. No, the documentary is so good. And, like, it just made me jacked up for the Olympics this year. But now I'm, like, nervous. Well, doesn't—but this is the thing. Doesn't everyone have mental blocks in their own way? Yeah. And it's, like, when you're dealing with that kind of pressure— I could name five right now. Yeah. Your mental blocks just get exposed. Right. And, like, that was—like, when I was—when I played tennis, I couldn't—I lost my second serve. Not your second serve. My second serve.

What happened in the first one? The first one was fine. Second serve, not good. Well, it's because the second serve is a different kind of serve than the first serve. Got it. Because you, like, have to get it in. It's, like, more pressure and it's more spin on it. And I tried to change my grip and it was this whole thing. And next thing you know, I, like, could not hit a second serve.

And so then what happens? You just start, like, losing? I was hitting underhand. Like, I was, like... It's like you walk on the court. Like, everyone was like, oh, Hannah's doing great. Question. Specifically to tennis. Yeah. Because gymnastics, it's not like you're, like, going against someone. Yeah. If you're going against someone and you know they have a mental block...

About something? You destroy them. Yeah. Are you like purposely playing into it? The way I would win was because I was insane. Like I had so many mental blocks. The only way to win was to be like, I have issues, but this girl has even more issues. So like let's say like you slice it to their back end and they miss. You go, and now we're going to do that a thousand times until she wants to like chuck her racket out of the court. So tennis is just like. It sounds a little culty. It sounds a little culty.

That's a little bit scary. It is guilty. They did make you wear a ponytail. They didn't make you dye it or cut it, but you did have to wear it back. Did I tell you I got in huge trouble when I dyed my hair blonde?

from your tennis team? Yeah. We like, I think I lost a match and my coach was really mad and he goes, and instead of practicing, Hannah's over here dyeing her hair platinum blonde and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, that's so inappropriate. No, and like, obviously I didn't do it during practice but he basically

basically was saying that I wasn't focused enough yeah because I like dyed my hair and I was like I dyed my hair because I'm a fucking mental breakdown I have lost my identity sorry my friend just got a job at supercut and she was practicing okay sorry for being supportive supporting women in the arts and you have to go back because you clearly got the color wrong because it's kind of green

No, we can't. Well, I also, I connect it with Simone too because like I would get in trouble for giggling and laughing during practice. I remember I would laugh instead of crying because it was like 6 a.m. People don't talk about what a fine line that is. No, laughing and crying is the same thing.

Wait, laughing and crying is literally the same thing. No, it's the same. This is a crying podcast. Like, if I don't laugh, I think that's why we laugh so much. Because we want to cry. We will cry. And you know what's funny? I never cry because I laugh so much. Because it's a release of something. It's really not what we need to release, but it's something. I love how we just figured out everything. But also with the Simone Biles doc...

She's so sweet and fun and human and multifaceted. And even if she doesn't do well in the Olympics, the whole point in the Tokyo Olympics, the whole point is her just like being multifaceted and dealing with adversity and always just like being herself. What did you think of her husband?

Because that whole thing happened. I know there's drama. This is my thing. And then it was like. I mean, you can't tell from a cut up documentary what people really like. Right. He seems super supportive. Seems super nice. A little too good looking for me to trust. Take him serious. No, just to trust. Yeah. Fully. We hate a good looking man. I just, if he's too good looking, I'm like. Yeah.

Something's there. We're going to keep an extra eye. We're just keeping an eye out. Keep an extra eye. But I did like when she said like when she left the Tokyo Olympics, like that is when she met her husband and like that is when she got married. Like, and she said that those were such a good two years for her and like her mentally, she came back and she feels ready. So I was like, oh,

I do have to say, a lot of people do meet their significant other when they're going through, like, a really dark time. It's like when you're going through, like, you have nothing left. Like, you're going through an ego death. Like, you have nothing. Yeah. Like, I always say, like, Des... When I met Des, I was crying, like, every night. Yeah. And he...

This man was like, that's going to be the mother of my children. But it's like I've never cried in front of a man. Since then, I haven't really cried. Right. But he met me in a time where I was like dealing with really intense stuff. I feel like that's the universe, like does that. And it's like, here, I'm going to help you out a little. Yeah. But it's like there's something about being like metaphorically naked. Oh, my God. Like you're actually raw because you're like going through something. Spit roasted.

Wait, should we start saying that? No. Absolutely not. You're like, wait a second, should we do a t-shirt? It's like, I think we might lose a few people on that one. Oh my God. Okay, one final question I had for you. Okay. Spanx. Yeah. I love Spanx. People wear it. Yep. How the fuck are you supposed to pee? Okay. A couple years ago, I said...

What do we need Spanx for? Who's wearing it? Like, who cares? Now, I love them. I don't think I will ever wear a dress without them. Because I don't know if it's just...

I'm getting older. I just feel secure. That's what it is. I feel secure. It's like a hug you didn't have when you were a kid. Yeah, like I just feel secure. And so I'm going to say something that might be a little controversial. You don't drink liquids. No, I drink a full Stanley. Sometimes I'm a pull to the side girl.

Well, this is my question. When it's the shorts. You're on your own. Because I, for Fallon, put on the shorts that goes up to your rib cage. Yeah. And the second I put it on, I go, how am I going to get this off? Are you saying that they should cut a little hole? Well, skims, do you know what they have? No. They have this thing that like, it's, I don't know how to describe it for people, but it's like a

A crossover that you can pull and it opens up. But what if you peed on it a little? Like, I rather... Because when you pull and it opens up, you're not going to pee on it. It's kind of like a guy when he pees. This is so sexual. No, I know, but I'm just saying, like... I think, like... I've never worn the shorts, so I can't commiserate with your misery. But I think...

I think you either have to pull to the side or you have to take it down. Because when you sausage yourself up like that, part of me is like someone give me a scissor. No, full sausage-ed up. I'll give myself a labiaplasty if I need to pee.

No, undergarments are so interesting because I just can't believe I'm here and I'm wearing them. You know, like I thought never. I was like, I'll never wear that. Like, that's crazy. Like, I remember seeing my mom like put stuff on and then like putting on a dress and like putting her Spanx on. I'm just like, how uncomfy. And now I'm like, this is who I am now. Literally just wrap me up. Well, it's like modern day corset.

It literally is. Oh my God. But you can do levels. Like there's like medium, extra tight. Yeah. Loose. No, I can't do extra tight. Once my mom took off her Spanx and gave it to me before a show. I know. I was there. I'll never forget it. One of the highlights of my life. She was like, you can't wear that underwear here.

And that's girlhood. You guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. We love you. Sign up for our newsletter. Rate, subscribe, review, swipe up. Anything else going on? I mean, we've been promoting. We've been asking the gigglers to do a lot of heavy lifting. Literally, the president stepped down today and was like, and that's it. Okay, we got things. Love you guys. Literally nothing going on. So bored. Bye.