Key Insights
Why is joy considered a serious practice according to Ross Gay?
Joy is a practice of connection and entanglement, which is fundamental to our existence. It is the evidence of our participation in connection, making it as serious as it can be. Joy is not escapism but an entry into reality, highlighting our interconnectedness and need to support each other.
How does Ross Gay define joy in his work?
Joy is the ways we practice entanglement, the feeling we have when we actively practice being entangled with one another. It is the evidence of connection and participating in connection, making it a serious and fundamental aspect of our lives.
Why does Ross Gay believe that joy is connected to saving the world?
Joy is evidence of our connection and awareness of that connection. This awareness makes us want to love, heal, and support each other, which is fundamental to saving the world and each other.
How does Ross Gay describe the relationship between joy and resistance?
Ross Gay refutes the idea of joy as resistance because resistance implies that what isn't joy is larger than what constitutes joy. Instead, he believes joy is the truth and the offenses of joy are bigger, making it more than just resistance.
What is the practical discipline of capturing joy that Ross Gay discusses?
Ross Gay suggests honing a 'delight muscle' by studying and noticing delights daily. The more one studies delights, the more there are to study, and this practice can help rediscover and capture joy in everyday life.
How does Ross Gay explain the importance of sharing in the practice of joy?
Sharing is crucial in the practice of joy because it is an offense to a system that needs us to buy into it. Sharing and witnessing each other's delights create a communal experience that enhances the joy and connection we feel.
What does Ross Gay say about the role of laughter in our lives?
Laughter is a contagion that draws us together by reminding us of the breath we share, which also reminds us of the dying we share. This shared experience of breath and dying can lead to a deeper understanding of our interconnectedness and the desire to share everything else.
How does Ross Gay describe the experience of pickup basketball in terms of joy and connection?
Pickup basketball is described as a laboratory of care where players negotiate the rules and dynamics of the game without institutional control. It fosters a sense of interdependence, fluidity, and shared care, making it a space where joy and connection can thrive.
Why did Ross Gay decide to stop doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu?
Ross Gay decided to stop Brazilian jiu-jitsu to avoid cultivating a sense of defensiveness and to explore a different way of being. This decision was influenced by his realization of his need to be cared for and his growing understanding of himself through practices like observing and articulating joy.
What does Ross Gay mean by 'unknowing' in the context of relationships?
Unknowing in relationships means continuously learning and re-learning each other as people change. It involves recognizing that we never fully know each other and that this unknowing is a ground for tenderness and deeper connection.
Chapters
- The concept of unknowing people to delight in them.
- Recognizing ourselves through those who love us and those who don't.
- Joy emerging from shared sorrow and the reality of never truly knowing anyone.
Shownotes Transcript