Ep 531 - Bluesky (feat. Billy)
01:23:03 Share

Hey, I don't want to lose again. Just give me the word, Sean. It sounds like the chanting. Sorry, I fucked up the clap. My bad. Is it good? We'll be able to identify it. In the editing room. We should do a nonverbal episode where we all just go, Primal? Totally primal. That's a better way to put it.

Primal screams? That's probably what's been happening here the last few months. That's a black caveman. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Please speak on it so they don't think I'm just being a white racist. I thought it was hilarious. Thank you very much. Bro, no, you can't talk about it. White comedians. Never speak on white comedians. That's law. That's law, bro. Y'all are done. That's law. Kendrick Lamar is joining The View as their sixth host. He looks like whoopies. That's what I was going to say about him there. Fuck.

I was literally, I was like, oh, we'll save it for the pod. I was like, Lemaire's political views line perfectly with the view. He's like, Israel needs to defend itself. Also, we need Kamala. How, I mean, dude, could we get him on? Could we get him on the view? What would it take? To get Lemaire on the view? Maybe we could just knock out whoopies. Fucking have Lemaire take the chair.

The side of LaMare's hair and his face and he might be on there. Oh, fuck. That's love. What the fuck are you guys talking about? Secret. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's got it, dude. I don't know why. When did he become like the ruler of everybody? He sucks, dude. Kendrick Lamar.

We have a black president. It's Jay-Z. Kendrick Lamar needs to stand down, dude. Jay-Z started sacrificing. He'll sue you. He will sue you. He came at Piers Morgan and asked about that. Fuck him and the Beehive, bro. Huh? Fuck him and the Beehive. What? I don't fuck with them. Once they opened up for the DNC, shout out La Mer, I was like, dude, these people are scumbags.

LeMaire wanted a mama love. LeMaire cried with mama love. Before I get out of here. The tweet I heard around the world. Before I get out of here. One of the all-time lamest tweets. It wasn't that bad, dude. You had a tweet right before it, before I get out of here. Then you had another tweet after that, before I get out of here.

I'm still tweeting though. What was the full tweet? Huh? Do you remember what the tweet was? Before I get out of here. No, it was before I get out of here. No, it was about China won because Trump won. China won because Trump won. Where did you get such an idea from? You know. Spots is wrestling in the view. Dude, I didn't know wrestling fans were all liberal. Oh yeah. I didn't know that either. I thought for sure they'd be the boys. I think...

I just think there's no in between. Every time someone trashes me on Twitter, I click it and it's like, yeah, it's cartoon wrestling. Every time.

They're very binary. It's either far right or far left. Or you're a Nazi guy with Down syndrome. I could see becoming a staunch feminist being a wrestling fan. But guys, for real, these women are strong as hell. China? Yeah, all of them. Yeah, all the divas? Women are jacked and have big, huge butts. They can do whatever they want. I think they just do exactly what their parents do.

What do you mean? The bros. It's like if you have a lot more parents, you're just a drag queen, Down syndrome kid, or it's like you're a fucking beast. Holy shit. Oh, you're talking about people with Down syndrome. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Those guys are making some choices. They have a lot of choices. They're stubborn as fuck.

They make any choice and it's over. That's their choice. Same here. I'd love to see him form a real political bloc. It would be great. To where politicians would have to start pandering. Yeah, we're going to have wrestling again. It's a government mandate. There will be 10 new Shreks by the year 2035. There will be 20 new Shreks. That'd be nice. They'd win. They'd get mobilized.

The music easy So what you have a man's house a little sticky when we walked in to what oh, yeah, the I remember that smell I haven't been here the last time I was here was when I did a Trump on kill Tony it's sitting on the in the bathroom my I'd literally just took my clothes off and left your clothes are sitting there. Yeah, they're just still sitting there like when a homeless person sheds Two bags of chips Bottle water on the ground. It looks like you got evicted. Yeah, I

But I haven't been here since. Came back in, house smells entirely like shit. You think so? It's getting better now. At a roommate, it smelled just like this. Blunt guts and throw up. That's what it is. You smell blunt guts? I just smell it. The whole back room, he's been sitting back there smoking blunts, jacking off. Come on, Leon. That sounds kind of nice, actually. I wasn't jacking off in there.

You didn't catch one? You only beat off in that room. There's no way you got horny in there and walked across to your room to jack off. I know you stayed in there at least once. At least once. I had to reclaim the room. But every other time you did a boner shuffle straight to the pool house. I had to do the bone shuffle. So you caught one in there. That's the one thing I'm proud of. My laptop. I've never caught one off my laptop. Really? It makes you feel good. Yeah. It's untainted. It's clean. Yeah, it's a clean machine.

It's got no... I haven't smutted my laptop out. It's just a workhorse. Sometimes it calls for me. And then this little fucking bitch... That's your roast toy. Takes the brunt. Yeah.

This poor thing. That is our toy. That's a picture of your kids. Bro, that's the worst. That's so funny. That was on True Life. I'm addicted to porn. The guy had to put in a password. You think they'll stop you, but you're just like, yeah, I love them. Anyway, let me... One day they'll understand their father was a complicated man and right past him.

Yeah, it's no stop. Yeah, I'll decline. Mom phone call, jacking off, you know, decline. Yeah, do you ever stop? Do you ever actually stop while doing it? Take the call, and the whole time you're like, please just let me get back. I'd love to tell you I never did that. Yeah. Yes, I've taken some phone calls mid-beat, and they've gone right back. They've got to work it back up again. I know. It's actually kind of nice. You get a second beat. It is. Cooks would hit me with that all the time. He would call me at like 3.30. I'm like, I can't talk right now. He's like, you're jerking off. I'm like, no, I'm not.

Who would hit you with that? Cooks. Really? Yeah. Oh, it's true. 3.30 is like prime time after work. If you're working a 7-3 like a man. Yeah. If you're on a girl's schedule, 9-5. Just kidding. Love you guys. I love all you guys. Sorry, man. We didn't mean to be sexist like that. So did you get attacked online for your views? He cried when Trump won. He cried. I didn't cry. He did. He did. You saw him cry?

Damn, bro. I did not cry. I did make hot dogs. You made some sad hot dogs? It was post-Noctis hot dogs. It was...

Did you boil them or how'd you cook them? Of course. Oh. You gotta boil the dog, dude. Damn, bro. Just boil your misery. If Kamal would've won, you would've hit the grill. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You would've got the Bluetooth speaker going. Pig's feet. That's footlongs, dude. Yeah. That's grilled footlongs and kielbasa's. Kielbasa's for a kabambola. Kielbasa hair.

Where is she? Is she still hellbent on saving the country? She's $20 million in debt after they raised a billion dollars. She probably would have been a great person. Is she not fighting the fight still? I thought that's all she wanted to do. What? I thought she'd be fighting the fight still. No, they're not done. The message of joy continues. At least they got those missiles to Ukraine. That was important. Yeah, that was huge. Good thing Shapiro signed them, too. That was real huge that Shapiro did that. Yeah, we're going loving humanity domestically after we ship those long-range missiles to Ukraine and blast Russians.

That was a wild move, by the way. It really bothered me. Yeah, that was just like, what? What a fucking spaz. Stop. What a spaz. To be like, okay, well, fuck that. I don't care about money at all. Trump's going to end the war? Fuck you guys. I know. We're going to fire everything we have. It did feel kind of like, oh, yeah, you think he's a great peacemaker? Watch this. And it's like, you guys are nasty. They did it with the jab, bro. Although, dude, nothing worse than a scorned woman, dude. Fuck you. Hell hath no fury, dude. She might be in there, dude. They might get rid of...

Biden for that. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. She'll get to taste the president. That'd be cool if she had to taste the president. She got to do it for a few days. She had to taste the president? Yeah. She had the White House tour? They said that Joe Biden hates that man. One week. Shit was just great. Did you see that? Fucking Joe Biden voted in an all red suit and Trump said, yo, he hates you, Kamala.

And it's true. Fucking Joe Biden wouldn't shake her hand. Hold on. Jill Biden wore the red. She flew the flag. She rocked all red to go vote. Dr. Jill? Yes. The doctor. Now she's officially got a doctor. Was she Dr. Seuss? Why was she wearing all red? I don't think Byron's going to step down. Joe Byron. Byron's not going to let them hit 25th Amendment. Although time traveler Trump at the end of his thing said, be careful what you wish for. They might hit you with that. Byron's going to stand down. He said that in El Paso, Texas. Dude, he's definitely standing down.

no way time traveler trump said be careful what you wish when we said that in el paso you ever see like the it's a book about it it was a book written in like yeah the adventures of baron trump or whatever yeah he has a fucking he's a time traveler i know but what did he say in el paso oh be careful what you wish for because they were trying to hit trump with the 25th amendment and now byron might get hit with it that was like four years ago joe byron

When they... I always forget he's the president. Yeah, it's felt very long. The last two months, or I guess now, it's been a couple weeks, I've been like, okay, so Trump's the president. I'm like, oh yeah. Whenever someone's like, president-elect, I'm like, oh yeah. I've got to remember stuff like that. President-elect, you mean? It's going to be sick. It's not yet the president. Blue Anon's going crazy right now. Oh, yeah.

What's up with Blue Anon? Blue Anon, it's there. I feel for them because I was there. And they're like, oh, no, you don't understand. In two weeks, it's all going to come out. It's like it's always two weeks and nothing ever happens. Have you seen Blue Sky? No. It's different than the other place. It's Blue Ski. The other place that we don't talk about. I thought it was Blue Ski the first 30 times I saw it. I was like, what the fuck is Blue Ski? No, we're talking about X.

x is the other place oh blue skies live twitter it's blue skies it is blue ski can we stop blue ski i'm sorry it's obviously blue ski blue ski it's crazy starting with twitter is so funny juice i actually know it was a genuine mistake that's good boomer juice though i was fully like the hell's blue ski that's got to be so fun to go over there they're deranged it's crazy

It's like seeing the opposite of me. Why are they starting blue ski, dude? Trump's... They don't want to go on the other place, dude. There's nothing but anti-Semitism and mean shit over there. And we're going to call it Twitter. We're not calling it X. Everybody calls it Twitter still. I know. It's the layman. So that's the fucking pronoun joke for the left? Yeah, true. You know how pronouns... They're like, my pronouns are... I love pussy. Yeah.

Theirs is like Twitter or X or whatever it's even called these days. That's what they say every single time. That's funny. And then the mayor goes, oh. All the fucking, they're called skeets too, bro. They're called skeets instead of tweets. At the skies, they're called skeets? At Blue Skeet, they're called cums. You're skeeting? Yeah, we got to put out a new cum. Yeah, they might get me over there. I'd love to skeet all day. Either skeet or re-skeet. Re-skeet? I swear to God.

If skeet don't get you, reskeet will. It's all like hinge jokes and then like horrible fucking stuff like before I get out of here, try to walk. It's like true social. It's just probably just completely deranged. What do they call a like over there? I don't know. I think it's a like. It's a yes. It's a yes. They gobble it up. It's a yes. Yeah, you get yes. You yes people's jizz. Nice jizz.

I never thought of it that way. They hate that chick Nancy Mace on there, though. Did you see that chick? Oh, Nancy Mace? I love her, dude. Yeah? She just reminds me of my mom. What was Nancy Mace doing? She's pissed about the people. She's pissed because there's a fucking train in Congress. It's huge. It looks like if Shane had a wig on, bro. And they're like, dude, fuck that. You can't come in the bathroom. Why not? What? It's crazy. But they all want to kill Nancy Mace because she's like, dude, I don't want fucking dudes in our bathrooms.

And it's really- The videos they make. I saw a video of her rip, because they put up a bunch of trans flags over the bathroom sign, and she had somebody film her ripping them down. Whoa. So literally, they're all teachers making TikToks. That's what Congress has become. It's like, follow me on my day as a Congresswoman. This is what I wear. And then I signed a bill. I'm not-

I make no sense before I ask. And then I had to have the mocha latte. We are at war. That's, it's fun. That's terrible. We haven't addressed the homeless situation. So she was like, watch this and just rip down the flag. Damn. Yeah, their days are numbered, bro.

Yeah, I mean that chicks are about to start rising up against the trans. No, it's gonna be one of the great battles like they Titans versus God's rise if the women's rise up against the trans I'm sorry with the trans. Are you serious? Yeah, I'll be hilarious. That would be very fun to do It's gonna be a lot of covert psychic warfare, you know, it's gonna be a lot of relational I'm gonna walk in and be like

Nice shoes. Imagine just barged into a chick's bathroom. Especially a locker room. The thing about this, it probably doesn't work on them. They probably try to hit the tees with what would hurt a woman. Your shoes look shitty. It's just a guy going, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I'm sneaking into the bathroom. I got these for 12 bucks out of the Ross. Comfortable as hell. Wearing cell phone clips on their belts.

Shirt tucked in, just huge tits. You think it was just a giant dump? Pull up. Pull up. You think there was a moment when the congresswoman was sitting there and it was just like a full like, oh, it's a giant dump. That's it. This is my one place of peace.

Take it like a 6'3 dude airport dump. I'd get political. I'd be like, all right, this is enough. That is exposing them, too, because they hate shitting around dudes. Oh, yeah. That might be fucking the number one problem. Yeah. Well, they want to say that's an intimate thing they want to say for their husband or boyfriend. Well, man, how do you feel about all this bigotry?

You know what? I'm starting to join The View here. I'm a little uncomfortable by what the McCusker brothers have done, and I have nothing to do with it. Join The View. I might pull up a chair at The View. The show has to go on forever. I hope it never stops. It's getting better. Is it really? It's crazy. Turn it on. It's fucking hilarious. I only see the clips, and it's them just fighting all day. Watching dresses like she's from the Galactic Federation. It's fucking crazy.

I like Whoopi on there. Whoopi's the voice of reason on The View. I saw your wandering ass eyes, you fucking liberal pervert. Whoa, dude. That's some respect. Come on, man. Me and Billy were talking the other day. We have a little respect. Me and Billy have came to the agreement that if you're an atheist, you're a pervert. It's just by default. It's just fucking, it's just masochism.

You're just taking a belief system and like, oh, yeah, I'm so fucking alone in this universe. It's a perverted stuff. It's a cop out. It is a total cop out. It's fake big boy. I don't have a boss. I guess you do, brother. Yes, you do, bro. Capital G-O-D. Yep. His name is Jesus Christ. Save that bull crap for Blueski, dude. You go on Blueski. You go on Blueski. You'll be like, God's not even real and my fucking dad won't fucking talk to me.

I told my dad to take down his Trump sign and I kicked out a thank you. I can't wait for Thanksgiving, brother. My parents were like kind of like they were like they're asking me did you put up a Trump sign? I was like no, I didn't put one up on my lawn. They kind of looked at me like bitch. They're like we had four. I'm like alright dude. We had four. I didn't want to do that. I did get to watch a guy collect his signs. I was on the way to

Tires and on my way to work and I got to watch a guy in the morning, morning after the election picking up his Kamala Harris signs. It was really fun to watch. I'm going to put up a Kamala forever. It was so funny to watch it. Just to defeat it. And he was one of those guys that had like 90 in his front yard. He just had to go out there.

8 a.m. How many did you put up, LaRae? You put any up front? Yeah, you probably had a couple outside. This place was damned out. This is Blueski headquarters while you're gone. That might be Blueski headquarters back there. Are you the king of Blueski? Dude, I had a Colin Allred up there. Oh, my God. What happened? Nothing. I'm sorry. Hold on. No. What did you say? There's another guy running named Colin Allred. What was his deal? I don't know.

Was he a local Dem? He was just a local Dem, yeah. What did you like about him other than just that he was a Dem? I liked his name is all red. All right. True. That's good enough. I tell you, I got to vote this year for the first time. Nice. How'd it go? It was kind of swell. Oh, yeah. You told me. It was kind of fun, yeah. I went in there. Dude, everyone sits in a voting place very, like,

You would think, for real, they were all rescuing babies. Everyone has a face. They look at each other and go... Doing your civic duty. They're nodding at me. I said, hold on, brother. To be fair, there's the main thing, the big election, the big vote. And then you have to do a million tiny votes. And there I got... I just started just throwing them to whoever. I was going, bing, bang, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Bing, bong, bing. Anyone in the court, I'd be like, Democrat, just in case I fuck around. Get in trouble for something. Yeah.

I want to get a little catch and release action. We need a big one. Go to. We also need to say I won't say I won't say if we're going to sit here and cross the list. We have on the lips for the first however many minutes. Yeah, we've been on in the lips. Yeah. It's time to focus on the right a little. What are they up to? There's a lot of pedophiles. What? They're all pedophiles. Are they really? Every single one. Yeah.

Dude, did you say this before? I'm trying to think if I heard this from you. It's not funny. Have you talked about this before? I was like...

Has anyone ever talked about how Michael Jackson became so successful he became a white pedophile? He's not a pedophile. Relax. He's not a pedophile? He is not a pedophile. This is the true conspiracy theories. You call everyone that is not a pedophile a pedophile. Yeah. The king of pop, dude. Bro, he is not. Do you think he was like taking the fuck out? Schmooly had something to do with it. Candace Owens came out and said that. What? Yeah, he was not a pedophile. At least I don't think so.

Hold up. There's all sorts of shit where, like, the first dude that accused him, the kid, the mom and dad, like, liked him or whatever. But then the mom and stepdad liked MJ, and that kid would chill there. And then the fucking dad was like, well, you're at whose house? Fuck that. And fucking sued him and got the money and shit. And that just kept happening. That boy was fucked. Hold on. The dad was like, you're at Michael Jackson's house? I'm suing him for pedophile? Yeah, the dude's a scumbag.

So you have a pedophile. Dude, I swear to God, I think he got set up and then I think he got killed for his record shit.

There's this whole thing where it's like... Apparently he owned a bunch of stuff in vacation properties. I've heard that. I heard he owned stuff in... Yeah, what are they saying on the Blue Skies? They're saying... I heard he owned a piece of sandals. I've heard that before. They killed him for the... Sandals? The resorts? Yeah. MJ owned the resorts? I swear to God, I think he had... In one of those giant companies, he had a huge stake. I thought he owned a little bit of the Beatles. He did. Yeah, and I thought that's what they... One of the best bands of all time. He owned the Beatles. Yeah.

I get it. Oh, not so tough now.

I just keep defending Drake. That's all it was about. It wasn't about none of that. Drake is number one, dude. Yeah, they go, nah, I'm a pedophile. I said it on the pod. No, you're not. No, you're not. Drake's a visionary, dude. He was totally right. Kendrick is, I don't know why he's so anti-comedy, dude. He's totally crossing lines. He's anti-comedy, dude. And there's one thing I hate is when comedians get censored. They are the canaries in the coal mine. We're the canaries in the coal mine. We're the modern day philosophers. Soldiers tell me, I think Pedro's telling me I should keep

uh tape on my mouth until i go out on stage and i go yeah just write society on tape i was holding that one in what no i'm just saying just oh just something horrendous so ajax used to put ajax has listened to a book for a while he would post on instagram of just uh do a duct tape over mouth and just said society on the duct tape remember tommy simbazzo's headshot

At my goobies. He had the caution tape and the fucking microphone was a gun. That sucks. Caution tape. That's fucking sick.

I didn't mean to name the man. He was the man. Michael Jackson got killed by Sony. Oh, so it was over the Beatles music. Yeah, not the Beatles music. That went back to Paul McCartney, but he got killed by Sony because they were supposed to do a tour and they'd make more money off the insurance if they killed him. There's a whole thing in the music industry with that. Also, Bodyguard was at MJ's fucking...

when he died. P. Diddy's bodyguard? Yeah, the nutty like Ray Donovan Muslim dude that P. Diddy had was at Michael Jackson's hospital when he died. But there's a whole thing. There's a documentary about it where like once they're done with you and your record sales start dying off, they own insurance on you and they get double paid for killing you and your shit skyrockets and they get all the money. Damn.

So they get a light. They have an insurance policy on the artist. And when they kill the artist, they get the insurance policy because he fucking dies. And then they're saying, like, look at Prince's sales go through the fucking roof. They take all of it. Shit. Many, many cases. Is that what the sacrifice is all about? Part of it. When you're evil, bro, wants to sacrifice you. Quick announcement for Irvine, California, or really all of SoCal. You guys know I'm SoCal as hell. I've been SoCal.

But yeah, I'll be at the Irvine Improv 1129. That's this upcoming weekend. Well, I guess next weekend, whatever. 1129 and 1130th. And I've also added a show on 1131 or 12-1. I'm not sure how many days are in November, but you get the point.

Next Friday, next Saturday, next Sunday, I'll be in Irvine, California. And let me just say for the record, fuck LA, dude. It's all about Irvine. I'm sick of people from LA being like, oh, you're going to Irvine? I'd never go down. Fuck you, dude. Shut up. Irvine's where all the reels are. Not a bunch of pretenders out in LA. I'm going to be a famous actor. No, you're fucking not. Grow up and move to Irvine. I'll see you there. God bless you all.

Pardon the interruption. This may or may not be Sean Gardini speaking, and this may or may not be Sean Gardini on camera. Who is speaking and who is on camera is not important. I've come to tell you that Sean Gardini is doing stand-up comedy shows. The upcoming shows are in Cleveland, Ohio, December 8th, Buffalo, New York, December 10th,

and Baltimore, Maryland, December 11th. Please come to those shows if you can. The tickets are at SeanGardini.com. Thank you. And we're back. Hey. Okay, so MJ is not a pedophile. I'm not afraid. Everybody. So you're saying MJ is not a pedophile. You're ruling. Pedophile, not a pedophile.

I don't think he's a pedophile. Okay. Now do Donald Trump. Donald Trump, it's because I looked into all the fucking Republican, I'm blue and on now. Yes. I'm liberal. I watch a view with LeMire. Simple, yes or no?

It's hard to say because if he was a pedophile, they would have got him on it by now. That's the only thing that fucks me up. What do you think about the tape that came out right at the end where it was like the audio of him and Epstein? It wasn't him and Epstein. It was Epstein and this dude Wolf. So why were they trying to tie Trump to that? It's hard to say. That's what I'm saying. The jury's out. He's not my savior. It's the internet, dude. Just say something sensational and we'll capitalize. At this point, I have to say no because they would have got us. Matt Cates.

brother yeah i don't know there's all sorts of fucking weird shit about that he's fucking but he's not trump's cabinet now didn't he resign out of that what i heard that if he had stayed i heard that if he stayed in congress then they would have released like the findings of the ethics things but since he like resigned now they can't show people whatever they found

I don't know. That's what I heard. Bro, I don't know. I just... At this point, everyone's on fucking notice. Dennis Hasser was a Republican, I think, Speaker of the House forever. And he was also involved in wrestling, which is fucking weird. So was Jim Jordan. There was a pedophile there, but it doesn't matter. Fucking...

Dennis Hastert was a speaker of the house forever and he was on Epstein's Island he was friends with Podesta he was like the OG Pizzagate guy where like Hastert was a fucking scumbag pedophile and no one said a fucking word so now everybody who's in that fucking thing they're not my heroes I fucking hate them and they're all cool with pedophilia because they let that shit go do you have any heroes no you you're my hero everyone's always been cool with pedophilia it's always been cool not me what

It's always been elite cool being a pedophile. No, it has not, bro. Yes, it has. It's the beginning of time. It's a subversion, bro. Historically speaking, LeMary is right. Like, if you go to, like, the Middle East and you're with the dancing boys. I'm not saying it's great. I'm glad we've all elevated up from that. Great men were not pedophiles. Alexander the Great was not a pedophile. He definitely fucked a boy. Relax, bro. I think you actually might have named, like, a notable pedophile. No, no, no, no.

He's Alexander the greatest pedophile. That's all smear, bro. Yeah, he's cut down on it. It's all smear. It could be a smear. They hit that with every fucking great man. Oh, he's a fucking pedophile. MJ, pedophile.

It's a halls of memento, dude. Alexander the Great, MJ. Yeah. Guys like that. Yeah, I think there was a part of ancient warfare. LeBron James has not been named a pedophile, ever. I just love when he holds books. He does a thousand reads. I can't judge him on that. I was getting into that. I don't know who are we to judge, dude. Chapter one. Nailed it. I know that book. I'm with LeBron James.

wrong there the Dems are we gonna own the repubs dude we got on the repubs a little dude I don't know uh I don't know what's going on with them I know they're like there's yeah they got McMahon in there you like that LeMaire Vince McMahon is in the now Linda why don't you like that LeMaire Linda stinks and she divorced Vince dude Vince was Vince was crazy you guys are wrong dude Vince's demand Vince wasn't banging wrestlers who wasn't who what dudes bro

So what? Wait, he was banging the divas? He wasn't banging the dudes. He was banging some divas. He banged the dudes. He had the dudes bang with him. Like, he'd have his top guys banging the hot ladies. That's just a party, bro. That's not a party, bro. That's just a party. He's up to some weird shit. That's 36 Mafia. Yeah, dude. Dude, here's the thing. Imagine you have all these giant wrestlers.

You're gonna wanna see it. You're gonna wanna see how they work. Take down China. Yeah, you're gonna be alright. Put it in the fucking, yeah, break down the walls. He just took his toys out of the toy box. He took his toys out of the toy box. I showed Shane the Destiny chats that leaked, bro. They're so good. What happened? He's talking about having a butt plug in and thinking about sucking dudes. That's literally a quote. Who, Dest? Destiny's talking to Shane like, oh, yeah. He also might have just been being really funny. I had to find a butt plug. This is so intense.

Here's the thing. If he was joking, that might be the funniest thing in the world, dude. Yeah, what if he was being funny? If he was joking? That's hilarious. If he was being funny. If you're being funny, that's the funniest thing in the world, right? Oof, this is intense. That just sounds too real. Dude, chicks walk around with that shit in your ass, bro. Bubbugs? Yeah. That'd be sick to sit down in a political debate and just be plugged up. Yeah. I disagree, actually. Ugh.

tokens i'm not gonna judge a man for wearing a butt plug it is intense i bet he's not a liar you can say a lot about him he's not a liar truth on this yeah that's an absolute truth he's definitely telling truth that just and it's funny to wear one and act like it's like a medic like an insulin detective like hold on my fucking butt plug yeah i'm gonna check the app give me a second i need to board the plane first my butt plug's going crazy right now

I need to do a medical pre-pandemic. I need an orange juice. What percent of people do you think are walking around with butt plugs in day to day?

You think it's 10%? 10% is crazy. 10% is way too much. No way. All day? I think it's a solid 10%. You're walking around with butt plugs. Yeah. 10%? Chicks do it supposedly to prepare for anal sex later in the night. Not 10%. I mean, you got gay dudes who have sex there every day. Supposedly. That's what I've heard. To prepare for anal sex later in the night. If you wear it all day, it's intense. Yeah. You think you would just like... You would be crazy. Later in the night. When you do...

Deviant shit like that. It'd be nice uncorking yourself and take a dump. That would be nice, brother. Dude, popping the cork to dump, that would be nice. You ever take a dump that almost comes out sideways and it hurts? Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Not sideways, but I've had a... Or just like a fucking big fucker. Wait, you've had like a breach? It hurts. Wait, in your mind you think it's because it's gone out sideways? That's what it feels like, you know what I mean? It's like a piece on Tetris, just...

Yeah, I've got split one time. Yeah, for sure. It hurts, bro. Split open. Yeah, split open. Shower before bed, you wake up, you got a dry butt. You got a dry asshole prime for the crackling.

You drop a fucking square. A Tetris cube. You drop a cube. You go, where the fuck am I going to put this? You drop it next to four straight logs and go, yes, Tetris.

I just got my shit's been out of control. Happened to me the other day. Huh? Happened to me the other day. For real? Yeah. It was intense. Yeah. It was intense. Oof. Oof. You could have been more diligent and wore the plug. He's probably just getting ready for fat turds, dude. Yeah. He's probably getting ready for the fattest turds. Supposedly, he enjoys cock holding. Hmm? Cock holding? What is that? Cock holding? No.

My fucking girlfriend's dad forever just called it cockhole. I thought it was a dude who just sits there and holds his cock. That guy's a cockhole. That's what I was imagining. I was like, is that a thing where you just hold someone's dick? Follow them around? It's just his version of cock. I can see subbing out and just holding someone's dog. Excuse me. Putting a little leash on it. Dude, Tom was telling me there's a new movie out about Nicole Kidman is getting domed.

Oh, yeah. Spade was telling me about that. She's a power businesswoman. An intern comes in and is like, get on the floor. It's like a new Fifty Shades of Grey type. That'd be nice to see. Take your babe and go see Nicole Kim. I loved her. Oh, fuck. I don't know if I should say it. Society.

Alright, I'll say it. Whatever. This is a tough one. This is exposing. It's bad? No, I just... Alright. So we're watching... I'm with my parents. We're watching Notre Dame football.

My dad's butt plug started to bug. No. It's worse. No, no, no. It's worse. So we're watching Notre Dame. I went back home to chill with the boy. My father's got to be sober watching football, and it's tough to watch, man. He's just white-knuckling the fuckers. He's white-knuckling NFL Sunday. It's just...

Oh, no. Makes the celebrations hurt more. Notre Dame's playing, and a guy makes a play. His name's Christian Gray. He plays for Notre Dame. My mom goes, where do I know that name? Oh, no. What do you mean? She's like, it's in a book. And I was like, I don't know what book it is. She's like, oh, I know. And it was quiet. And I was like, what are you talking about? Fifty Shades of Gray. Yeah.

Disgusting. I know, as soon as you said it. And then my other sister's there and she's like, yeah, mom read like fucking five of those books. They all do. And I was like, ew. And then she goes, yeah. And then she gave them to Katie when she was done. And I was like, dude, that's fucking disgusting. That's like training porn mags. Exactly. That's what I said. They all watch it. That's fucking disgusting. Most women are addicted to erotic literature.

Yeah, but you don't want to think about your mom fucking... Damn, she has them on, like, top of the VCR, like, at your desk. Yeah, she's hiding them. You can find where the bookmark was. You go, oh, that's where she finished. Oh, fuck. And then tossing it to your other sister, being like, yo... Get her fired up. Are they on Audible?

Oh yeah. Did you ever see that guy on Instagram who blasts... This is audible. There's a guy on Instagram who blasts Fifty Shades and goes through drive-thrus and it's pretty fucking funny. You see guys like... And then he grabbed my ass and you see a guy like Annie Fry's like... Fuck.

I thought that was more of a bombshell than it was. That is hilarious, dude. It hurt. Did you know right away? Ruined the whole second half of the game. I just sat there going. You just held your father's hand. You're like, it's all right, father. Don't worry. And my father, he's in poor health. He just had to sit there. I mean, that should have driven him to alcohol. A disgusting wife and daughter. No, all women read that stuff. It's nonstop. That's like, there's like the, one of the only books that sells. It's erotic. It's like romance novels. And they call them romance novels.

And then erotica. Are they the ones with Fabio on the cover and shit? Yeah, but they switched. You started hitting those. Yeah, you did. I'll jerk off to some erotica. Matt is not afraid to explore his feminine. I'm not afraid of a feminine. What was it? I do have a girl brain. No, you kept going like a fuck. There was a word for it. Oh, my anima? Yeah. My anima is well-developed.

We all have an anima. It's so funny to do gay shit and cope with it by being like, my anima is Will Phillips. That just means your anima is screaming into depths. We all have an anima. What is an anima? It's the feminine in the masculine psyche. And women all have an animus. And if you're animus possessed, my God, watch out. But yeah, my anima is totally liberated. And it's also, dude, I'm telling you.

You get very clean. There's a bro I like right now. His anima is fully liberated. Jerry McCain for the Sixers. He's the guy doing the fucking TikTok dances. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. His anima is out. He does not care. He's feminine, dude. He's dropping 30 and doing TikToks. Everyone's mad, dude. Pain in his nails and shit. Because I'm three days into college and I'm two lectures behind. Yeah, you show me this, guys. I love this dude so much. It's so nice, dude. I DM him. He doesn't answer. I love this dude.

I get drunk and DM him. Oh, you're the man. Oh, fuck. He's been killing it. They gave him a chance and he's dominating. That's awesome. He's going to be rookie of the year. He's awesome. You think so? Unless he gets hurt or something. If he keeps playing like he's playing, he's going to be rookie of the year. So you and me, we can settle the Kendrick Drake. Obviously Drake. Now we can settle Joel Joker.

- It's been settled. - Joel's acting like a punk. - I got no argument. Especially in their prime, I think Joe was a more skilled basketball player, but he might be, he might be, he's not washed. He had 35 last year. - I know, I was watching. Yeah, because he got called out and then everyone was making fun of him, so he tried. - He's not washed, his knee is, he's got a bum knee. - I pray for him, I hope he's-- - Bum knees suck. My knee's kinda bum right now, it's pissing me off. - Oh really?

Piss me off. How are you skating with a bum knee? Dude. Huh? How are you skating with a bum knee? Oh, is that how you bummed your knee out? No, no, no. My knee. I actually. Sorry. We can talk about Joe. I don't like it all about myself. I just. I've been skating. I was just sleeping wrong. I had like a pillow between my knees and I think that was really what was fucking it up or lifting. I like took two weeks off. I think so. Yeah, I think it's a pillow. But as soon as I switched that pillow out, it started to feel bad. How do people receive you at the skate park? Huh? How do people receive you at the skate park? Pretty good. I.

I at first I was a little tight and I was like not I do just going down those little ramps as hard as fuck. And then once I loosened up, so I talked to a couple of people. You can take a tumble. You can be Jay Leno. You're going to fall on your side and be totally bruised. Dude, I luckily I was all right. I wasn't going that big. I was just trying to get my feet under me. I didn't think I'd be that bad. I was terrible at first. So hard. It's so hard. But then I got I got it down. Now I'm way more comfortable.

The 180. Yeah, the videos were nice that you sent me. I was happy about that. Thank you, bro. Oh, the pump track. The pump track's sick. Dude, I, for real, I skateboarded. You going today? Huh? You going today? I'm going to try. I'd like to. Oh, fuck. But, dude, skating's fucking sick, man. I did it for two hours in one afternoon. Dude, I think I burnt like 850 calories. It's crazy. That's got to be intense, though, getting there. If people are there...

Yeah, I was scared. I was scared. And then once I got loose. Dude, did you fall and get the wind knocked out of you in front of like a family? No. By yourself? Dude, the skaters are very supportive, dude. They'll pick you up. They'll pick you up. They'll pick you up. All right. And when I finally landed the 180, there was a guy who was like, sick.

Because I tried for an hour and a half to land the 180. That's what it's all about. I don't know if you saw the pop show. Douchebag Central. What? FDR? Yeah, that's... I was like eight years old. What about the Tampa Am? I was like, dude, what the fuck? What about the Tampa Am? I don't know shit about the Tampa Am. That's Beezerville. You don't know Tampa Am? No. Fucking idiot. That's Beezerville. There is a... It's funny, though, because there are like... Beezer rode a scooter at the Tampa Am.

Yo, do not put sweat on the bees. I already bladed something crazy at the Tampa Am. Beater landed a reverse. I forget what he said. It's great. Rodeo flip? I forget what it was. It was awesome. You ever had a ripstick? No, Connor hit him with the Kamala could land a reverse whatever on you at the Tampa Am. And he was like, I'd fucking kill that bitch. He was hammered talking about the Tampa Am.

It was funny to do an activity where there was like a child there too. It was like me. There was a guy my age and there was like slightly younger. There was just one kid there who was like maybe 11. My balls. Dude, this 11-year-old kept doing this thing where he would go up the ramp and then he would just not even worry about skateboarding. He would try to launch himself as high as he could. I used to do that shit when I was little. Dude, it was the funniest fucking thing. Did you start tapping your skateboard on the rail? I didn't tap. I almost tapped one time. A guy did like a pretty nasty hard flip and I was like, let me just chill. I'm not going to tap. I can't talk skate. I don't know anything about it.

Really? All I want to think about is Jared McCain's TikTok. It's the only thing that's going on in my brain right now. I can't figure it out. I fully support him, though. It is nice. It's your anima recognizing his liberated anima. I loved it when he was at Duke. I wanted to hate it. Really? The first TikTok I saw, I was like, what the fuck? I watched the whole thing. I was like, what else does he have in here? He just watched all of them. Is it the orangutan on there? Just...

I love that gif. Come to me. Yeah, it's genius. Me and Dini have been getting it in at night. Pause. What did he say? Me and Dini have been getting it in at night. They're hitting the duty together. Oh, you guys have been playing duty. Yes. You guys are some duty bandits. Yes. Some late night duty bandits. Yes.

Our girlfriends are asleep. Sean, are you awake? No, I don't do that. Sean, are you awake? I do the exact opposite, brother. Scream. Yeah, I play kiddie. I have people in the lobby. Scream right now, bro. And if they can't scream, they're pussy. I scream all I want. I scream. I can't, dude. My fucking kids are sleeping. It's a fucking scream, pussy. Do you run this asshole? Scream. You scream the entire time. I fuck around the whole time. Pause.

You know, I've played duty with him. He screams the entire fucking time. Every single time he gets killed, he gets killed 50 times. That's my rule. He sprints at everyone with an RPG. He gets killed and he goes, fuck! One second later, fuck! That's my rule. I try to get in the lobby. I say, anyone on our team, if you get killed, you have to scream like it's real life. It is real life. That's fun, though, when that happens. What time do you play until? When do you call it? I get a few sessions an hour until like 12.

Oh, that's not bad. He was telling me his session. He's like, if I put in a good session, it's three hours. Yeah, it's a good session. That's child's play. On duty, it's a whole different story. That's literally child's play. Yeah, you just get warmed up. I didn't even game today.

Three hours. I didn't even game. It's intense on duty, though. I had a day off of work. I hit the fucking banner lord. I charged it back up. Did you really? 12 hours. How was your realm? Blew a fucking vessel in my eye. I was just fucking staring at the screen. You didn't blink for a day. Damn, you did a 12-hour session on the banner lord? The banner lord was crazy. Yeah, it was really fucked up. You play against the computer like a motherfucker. It was really fucking weird what I did. Yeah.

I'm not proud of that. I'm 28. Because it was three days into college, two lectures behind. This guy, let's name him Billy, says he wants to be mine. How's the kingdom? Kingdom's good right now. Does it freeze when you, does any commerce go on? Yeah, no, it freezes. Okay, thank God. I could leave it running for a weekend, just let my caravans do their bidding. But what if we got invaded while I was gone? Is it online? No.

Just a cop. It's just me sitting in a room playing against a machine. We had NHL in college. And there was a kid. We had live. And there was a kid who would just play against the computer and flip and go, this is how you get better. Fucking lives cheat. You hit the spaz last night in Madden. I love it. You tried to take advantage of me last night in Madden. I fucking rage quit constantly. Yeah, he tried to take advantage of me. I just liked the game. I was just...

So you got another pick as the exit game? Done. I'm done playing. He's as bad as the exit. As bad as he could. Yeah. It's pretty funny. People do try to take advantage of you when you're in an e-brain. Soder took advantage of me. Did he really? Yeah, he finally beat me in NCAA. He's a sober man, too. Yeah.

He's a sober man. He was sharking on you. He got me at the end of the night, and I was nasty about it. Shane immediately starts saying all sorts of mean shit when you start beating him. Like what? You're the cheapest guy in the fucking game. You're so gay, you run the same play every fucking time. I mean, that's how you get people to get off the game. I do the same shit, though. It works every time. Five and out. It is funny, though, having someone sober praying on you like you'd pray on a woman. Just be like, come on, let's go back to your place. Do one more shot. I don't know. Yeah.

Come on, man. Come on. Let's play in small. We're not going to play any. I'm just going to hang out. We're not going to play any games. I'll be Michigan. I'll be Michigan. I know you hate Michigan. Yeah, I hate Michigan. I'll play against Michigan. I was down like 30 to Soder. I was like, do you feel good about this? And he was like, no, dude, I don't. This sucks. Let's go to bed. I was like, yeah, exactly. We went to bed. I was like, you quit. I win.

- Yeah, Soder, I know I've definitely said it before, but it was making me cry the other day. Like I literally was crying laughing about it, 'cause I was telling Jay about it. 'Cause when me and Soder played each other,

He was up like 20, and he was finally gonna win. Was this on the stream you're saying? No, this was after. Okay. And we're sitting there and DeRosa comes in and sits next to Soder and is like, Shane's right, your guys are blocking way better than his. And he was like, shut the fuck up, DeRosa. And I came back and he missed an extra point and lost. And when he finished, he put his controller down, DeRosa was sitting next to him, and he goes, It was the craziest pass I've ever seen.

Was he serious? He was totally serious. Damn. The soda goes. I was like, what the fuck was that? Oh my God. It was so good. DeRosa was like, geez, man. DeRosa's bitch ass. He's like, you wouldn't do that to other people. Five hours later, still going.

It was awesome. Oh, that's such a good expression of a video games basket He does he hits the hardest video games passes of anyone Oh

Yeah. I can get him, dude. If I lose, I'm like... Yeah, but you hit the funniest badminton. I run away. I run away. I run away. You literally run away. I gotta hide my face, dude. That's like, you ever see a video of a little black kid losing a video game? He starts crying playing the controller. He just fucking chases it.

It sucks when you lose. It sucks so bad. Think about losing the computer in Barrel Lord after you've been playing for 12 hours. When you lose everything, you go, what the fuck did I do today? Remember when I played FIFA? I'd play FIFA for a week straight without getting up. Then I'd get fired. I'd get an email on the video game and be like, you're done, dude.

You gotta go outside. That'd be funny. You get like text, but in the game, but about real life. You'd be like, dude, it's your mom. What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck is this? This is bullshit, dude. Shut the fuck up. How come you're not married? What the fuck? I'm trying to bring Norwich to prim.

We used to have an N64 in our unfinished basement. That was fucking scary. Everyone had an N64 in an unfinished basement. But not N64. It was Super Nintendo or NES. But they would all play it. Whatever Mortal Kombat was on, maybe a Genesis as well. And I would never be able to play. And then when everyone was away, I would sneak down. That's nice. Someone would catch me, turn the lights off, and I'd be like, fuck! And run upstairs.

That basement was terrifying, dude. Yeah, it was not cool. Because of Cement Dungeon, there were spiders in the little water gaps. There was these big wolf spiders. That sucks. Yeah, I wouldn't be caught doing that. Lights out while gaming. Fed got PS1, though, on a mad one. Like, one day I rolled up in their room and he just had PS1 on TV. I was like, what the fuck? Cool borders. The best game of all time. Yeah. It was pretty good. Easily.

I forget. Yeah, Cool Boarders 1 and 2 was, I think 2 might have been better than 1. 3 was bullshit. Yeah. Whatever one you could be the alien was sick. Echo the Dolphin on Sega. You fucked with Echo? Yeah. I never got out of the first level. Just sat there. Yeah, you're saying that's hard to do. Sat there for a day. It's vibed out. Just being a dolphin swimmer. That's so sick, dude. You ever play Bully? Killing jellyfish with my nose. That's so sick, dude. I really don't understand this game. Have you ever played the Bully?

Yeah. That was a great game. That game was awesome. What was it? The Bully. What'd you do? The Rockstar game. It was like Grand Theft Auto, except you were just a bad kid at a school. Yeah. It was great. It was a good game. Sounds awesome. It was. I just got Fusion Friends and tried to play it. You played cool music when you rode bikes. Do you remember that? Yeah. The fucking game was amazing. Yeah.

You can just go around. Fusion Frenzy's sick. I've tried to play it with Ben, and she hated it. We can hit it. I love it. We can hit Fusion Frenzy today. This game sucks. It fucking rules. When you go in the washer, I love that game. Yeah, it's easily one of the best games, actually. Xbox controllers were fucking nuts. Original Xbox controllers were fucking massive, dude. They're just big chunguses. You had to hold it like this. Yeah, I despised them. That reminds me. Somebody made fun of me for that controller on the internet. It says my name on it.

So maybe I'm not that is psychotic. How's it like yourself? It was a gift. All right. Yeah. What am I going to rip it off? Yeah. That would be psychotic to scratch your face off the controller. I lose a game. I don't even deserve this. That's like Red Dragon. We need to get you. We need to get UFC going. Fuck you. It's true. So have you guys been playing at all? I haven't played at all. I haven't played.

Ooh, guard dog. I have. You have. Guard dog speaks heavy. You guys are partying. One guard dog's been training. Yeah, you guys have been out fucking around. He didn't tell us he was training. Just trying to get good. Wait, which one of you guys, when are you getting good on the ground in that? Nate. Little bitch ass.

Why my bitch ass? That's because that's how I got you. You never got me. You definitely never got me. Let's get fighting, dude. Fuck round and pound. There's a new boxing game that's apparently pretty good. It's all right. Is it good? It's okay. Yeah. UFC is the best. I can't wait to Logan Paul or Jake Paul comes out with his boxing game. It's him in the elderly. It's just him knocking out Asians on a subway. Sweet, dude. You showed them. We solved the crime. We know who was doing it all that time. It's Jake Paul.

That was his Rocky. I think Tyson did. He fucking chilled, though. First round, I was like, fuck, Jake Paul's going to get knocked the fuck out. And then Tyson just put the brakes on and started moving all crazy. I don't think. He was so shaky. That was the thing. At first, he was throwing those punches, and there was the thing in the clinch where people saw Tyson tap his head, and people thought that was Paul being like, yo, chill, or you're not going to get the bag. But he was shaky. Would they be able to withhold the bag if he won? There's no way.

stipulations that if he won he would be paid less money than if he lost there's no way there's no way they made that public check that that might be blue ski information that might be blue ski Russian disinformation or just X too or just Twitter Jake Paul kind of beat the shit out of Mike Tyson and nobody's willing to admit that he could he could have taken his head off he could have taken his head off if he did Jake Paul would have killed him if like they were fighting fighting

Jake Paul had 70 punches, landed 70. Mike Tyson only landed six. Yeah. It was unk first to punk. Dude, like, I would beat the fuck out of my dad right now. Huh? I would beat the fuck out of my dad in a boxing match. Obviously. The fact that he didn't get knocked down in the first round is crazy. Yeah, dude, towards the end, that was the one thing. It was honorable that he didn't just take Tyson's head off. He was going to become an ultimate goblin because he could have knocked him out.

I think at least he could. I just think the code switching they do is fucking crazy. The code switching the Pauls do confuses the show. What do you do? Mike Tyson was in the ring afterwards. He's like, oh, you're next, Logan Paul. And Logan Paul's like, I kill you, motherfucker. It was fucking bizarre. Yeah, yeah. It's like, dude, you're from Ohio. Why are you talking about this? He's a resident, too.

Yeah, but I feel like if you're a YouTuber for that long, I think you're allowed to. What? After like 10 years of being like a YouTuber, you can just say, you can talk however you want. Yeah, it's fucking. Those dudes. It's like Puerto Ricans in New York. Exactly. There you go. The grandfathered in. Filipinos in LA. Okay. It grabs the algorithm. Grabs the algorithm. Maybe.

yeah it might just be the best fucking it is funny for him he's like jake paul would fuck you up dude dude i have a gun you can fight all he wants shut up oh you're a black belt jujitsu dead pull that thing out oh you're a karate master you're gonna kill someone cold blood there's no reason you can sit there all day long and fucking fight all you want you're just gonna get neck kinks and shit it sucks

Yeah, but say you're at a bar. If you want to work out, you want to wrestle dudes, you're going to be hurt all the time. Here's the thing. Say you're at a bar. People start acting up, and you get to fucking everyone in front of your baby. You have to go, stop, dude. Dude, stop.

I will say, killing someone with jiu-jitsu at a bar seems kind of fucking lame. That's the whole point of it. Like on the ground, rolling with a guy. Yeah. You just choke him. You go, just tap, dude. Just tap, man. Just tap it. I'm going to tap it. I don't want to do this. I've been looking forward to this secretly my whole life. I don't want to do this. Get somebody in a triangle. Yeah. Get an armbar on the ground, and then his friend comes up and just goes...

Right on your face while you're like, dude, stop. Just kick two in the fucking head. But then your Jits bro is going to be there to be like, stop. But then your Jits bros will fucking... You're lucky I don't have my fucking key. The Jits bros at the fucking mothership would go nuts. They would. Every single fucking security guy in there is like a mutant. Yeah, dude. I was at... Why do you need a gun? If a homeless guy... There's a fucking dangerous Jitsu man out there. One of the homeless from 6th Street comes in there. He's getting every limb broken. He's getting wrestling. It's kind of like William Wallace in fucking Braveheart. He's like...

I... 10 fucking jiu-jitsu dudes are gonna rip apart all of us. There was for real a giant in the little boy room. There was this giant man who was being a problem and I watched three of the bouncers just like... This guy was huge, you know? It was like... I was like, fuck, I would be terrified to fight this guy. And there was like two or three of them looked at each other like, it's go time. And I was like, damn, these dudes are fucking out of it. I'm not touching this fucking guy. He was massive. They got him up and like walked him out the room and I was like...

Yeah, they were ready. They were like gearing up and I was like, dude, this is kind of scary. You guys are the real deal. He was huge, dude. What, the Mothership guys? Yeah. They're all like 10th planet or whatever. They're all like the best in the world. Yeah, man. You could tell they were kind of like, looked at each other like, if we have to fight this guy. It does make you feel kind of fucking gay as a comedian.

What? Like, yeah. You go like they're like troops. You walk up to me like, hey, man. Yeah. I feel you feel like I have a big day. I have to do comedy. I got this new joke. When I was there the last time, the dude said, what's up to me? I don't know. The security guards listen to the fucking fucking definitely taps up, brother. Yeah. Real men. They're good bros. That's why I'm friends with the jujitsu guys. But if they ever rise up, you

You have a gun. Stop. Get off my leg. Shoot them right in the back. Get the fuck off my leg.

You think they let you practice in the studio, like, pulling out on them while they're wrestling? Yeah. Obviously, Paul. Obviously, Paul. No, they train for fucking dudes with guns. Do they? You know those things you punch? What are those things? Oh, yeah. The jackdaws? They have those holding guns. Just hit them with one of these. Bet you didn't see this coming. Yeah. I'm never going to tap. You can arm bar me. Yeah.

Shoot myself in the ass right now. Now you have to clean me up, idiot. Let me take off my butt parts. I'm about to ruin your whole body. There's dudes who do that. What? There's a fucking gun store near my parents' house where dudes will roll in, buy a gun, be like, thanks. Where's your bathroom at? Go to the bathroom. Shoot it. In the bathroom? They've done it? Yeah. You're talking about the master? And then they have to clean it up.

Yeah, people don't talk about that enough. They just go in, buy a gun, go into the bathroom, done. You know, I peed myself in that gun range bathroom when I was a little boy. My paul took me shooting. I pissed the bed recently. If you're talking about the same gun place, you pissed the bed recently? Stone cold sober. I just had a dream I was peeing. Bro, I've been peeing in dreams and not peeing in the bed. It's been crazy. It comes for you. At one point, it comes for you.

I look don't get me wrong. I've done it and then I got caught too You got busted because I ran out took off my boxers and came back in and put a towel in the bed I went to see she's like what the fuck did you just do? I was like nothing. Did you pee? It's like yes I peed my pants I peed a little bit. It was a tiny little bit. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with pissing your pants. It's a little bit Well, man, I know you've pissed your pants recently No, but I fucking

I got drenched. I was sick and I got fucking drenched to bed in sweat. Sweat? Yeah. That's the best. That's the best. It was a pool, dude. I love that, dude. Waking up with a fever and just being like just soaking wet. I fucking love that shit. Yeah.

I actually kind of agree. That is nice. Especially you take a nap while you're sick. Wake up, you just ruin the couch. Yep. It's fucking awesome. Then you get like real, you're hot, you're chilly, and you wake up and you're wet. You're really chilly and you take off your wet clothes and get comfy under the blanket. Yep. Break this. I love a good Rhea. If you have like a day long Rhea fest where you're just fucking everything's coming out, I feel like it's good for me. It's awesome. I do too, but then you get stuck with like a three day Rhea fest. A what? A three day Rhea fest.

Three day Oh, refest Yeah That's where the bidet comes in huge If you have paper towels on your asshole And you have a fucking refest It's over Yo, baby wipes No baby wipes I'm telling you, dude That's how you clog the toilet Throw them in the trash can That's foul, bro Throw them in the fucking cream Put your shitted up baby wipes In the fucking toilet Wrap them up Then you throw something on top of them So it's easier Just get a bidet Your shitty little secret Get a bidet Huh? Get a bidet And also Yeah, but my kids will turn them on And shoot it everywhere Put a child lock on it

Then I'm not gonna be able to wipe my goddamn ass with the thing. You can probably get one that's on an app. Dude, then I gotta look. Well, I already have my... I'm not gonna pretend I don't have my phone out while I'm shitting. But I don't have to look at my phone, dude. I don't want screen time. I have so many fucking things in my house that require me to look at my phone. It's kind of annoying. Yeah, I feel like none of them ever work. They all suck every time. It's bullshit. There's a bullshit app with every fucking product now. And they're like, you gotta log into this. It's like, dude... I do it with an ear cleaner. It's so awesome. What's that? The ear cleaner with the fucking camera.

so what oh dude it's the best it's definitely just selling all your all your data some chinese company but you turn it on it connects to your phone it has a camera and you go in there and just scrape out of your wax dude i took one out where it's literally just like you know a whole thing in my ear like that got there got in there ripped it all out the chinese government's got your wax they're going absolutely there's just some huge data breach with um yeah

Billy McCuskey Waxer You think they caught you They got you on wax They're like Sir what do you think about that He goes Wax on Yes Yeah we got hacked We got hacked We got hacked by China They hacked our telecoms What by a Booger corporation Fucking Trump The country is trying To hack their telecoms Fucking Trump dude They hacked our They hacked it Probably a couple years ago And they've been Remaining dormant And they've been Collecting information On like a hundred What like four years ago Probably before that Like

They hacked our old infrastructure because we have all these back doors so we can spy on people. All right, that's it. Yeah, that happened. I think Joe Biden's son, Hunter, was over there and he got a diamond from a very rich Chinese man.

little quid pro joe was over there doing some bad deal big guy really 10 oh dude o'connor fucking tried to hit me with 10 he's like why isn't o'connor owns us dude why why isn't fucking biden going to jail is like they only refer to him as a big guy so since they say the big guy can't go jails like yeah they're not naming the guy they're just saying the big guy yeah that was a good argument he was he had us

at bonnie's annoying yeah he's like well he would go to jail if he was guilty yeah that's it trump's getting arrested yeah because he's guilty biden's not because he's 34 yeah that never even hit the that never do you like uh harry sisson dean weathers and those boys who harry sisson dean weathers and those boys i'm sorry this will fucking oh i don't like young dems young dems are so fucking gay

There you go. Your true blue ski. Blue no matter who. Put that on blue ski. Fire it up. Where is this video? This video infuriates me. I feel like they're just trolling me. You can keep talking. No, I want to see what you're talking about. I'm trying to find it. Can't believe Shana has your ears waxed.

Dude, it's the best. You like cleaning your ears? Yeah. It's very nice. I do it too much. You can see it. I just dug in last night. It was pretty nice. It's nice. Especially when I'm like, I can go a little further. You forget about it for a while and then you get in there and you go, holy shnikey. Yeah, you go. When you just get an orange Q-tip coming out, you're like, yo, what the fuck? Yeah, you got to hide that.

Yeah, true. The lady sees that. It's really, really gross. Yeah. Yeah. That's the worst one. I'll wipe my ass in the shower with a wet towel and every now and again, Brittany will peer over the ledge and be like, oh my God. I'm like, dude, how about you give me some fucking privacy? You have shit on your ass in the shower like that? Sometimes my ass is kind of fucked up. Yeah. If I'm like, I like wiped and I'm like, I'm going to have the showers on that one. The oil slick. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. It's like rainbow. It's like rainbow. Here's the duck covered in it.

Bring me the dawn. Capitalism.

So you're saying we're too damn rich that's why we have obesity? Yeah.

Turn this clown off. Turn this fucking clown off. That's the dumbest argument I've ever heard in my fucking life.

No, it's not. Yeah. Also, explosions in cars happen in the engine, not in the muffler, you fucking pussy. Could have been a Lamborghini. Lamborghini. True. I don't know.

Yeah, that was crazy. That kid pissed me the fuck off. That's crazy. It's not chemicals. It's because we have so much money. But I did comment on it and say, thank you so much for saying this. Finally, some sense on this. Dude, you know who I've been getting fired up on Instagram? Whenever there's like, this lady comes up on my feed and she is a, I believe a mask.

Traditional mask lesbian. Oh, she comes on the feed and puts on different fits and everyone's like beautiful. You're looking at it Oh, yeah, I only ever give her big ups more like fire fire fucking outfit. It's kind of nice I just gas her up and they just trying to get finned on by someone. No, no, I just everyone's I've been seeing it's like a crazy thing all day. Did was that I?

My algorithm's fucked What is it? A lot of guitars That's pretty clean right now You've gotten into guitars Not gonna lie Kenny Powers, guitars, wet dog Pretty clean I just feel bad You go on the cringe videos Never seen so nasty Yeah, yeah, yeah I love that

See what she's up to. Love it. What is that? I'm being crushed with public riz videos and shit. They kill me. Public riz are nice. Oh, excuse me. Those Indian riz videos are nice. What? The Indian riz videos. Oh, yeah. The game shows. Yeah, that's nice. I like the Indian street food gross out compilation. Yeah, just grab a shit with their hands. They're so fucking funny. Huh? They're a foul. Yeah, it's pretty bad stuff.

Please like and subscribe to my video. What else is going on, guys? Pretty much that, man. Dude, I've been doing school visits, like looking at different schools now. Hey. Dude, I went to one. I'm just thinking about McKay, dude. I went to this one school, and it was like a, you know, it's like kind of like an alternative. They have like a whole different approach to stuff.

And they had like, they're like these trees there. These are climbing trees with the kids climbing the climbing trees. It's good for their core. Dude, there's this guy, four people or like six people on tour. There's one dad. We go, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, so important.

They had marbles in the math class. Like, we want to give them a tactile sensory experience along with the math. And the guy goes, oh, I swear to God, he was going, oh, yes. Oh, that's so great. I look at Brittany like it's natural, bro. You think so? Probably. Oh, yeah. Fuck you. Oh, it's actually great. It might have been trees.

Maybe it was Adderall. I don't know what it was. It was the craziest reaction I've ever heard. I was like, dude, the what? You get pumped up about shit on Adderall. Yeah, I think it was with the school. I think it was like everything they'd say. I guess it felt good a bit. I totally agree. Yeah, it's so important. That is so important. We let the child. Oh, yes. So good.

It was crazy. I'm convinced that guy had a butt plug in. That's one of the 10%. We are the 10%. Yeah, he was probably covering his tracks. He was probably going, oh yeah, that's so important. Oh yeah. True, his wife might have hit him with a surge. His wife might have been in the pocketbook going, buzzing him up.

Do you watch New Dune? Huh? New Dune show? No. It's fucking so good. Shaving myself for the movies. I've been killing women written shows. The Penguin. The Penguin. Is that women written? Penguin is so fucking good, dude. Is it really? It's awesome. You're a hater. Did you fuck with H.O.D.? House of Dragons? Nah, I'm going to get back on it. I just, I kind of fell off, honestly. So you're addicted to powerful heroines?

No, not necessarily. They're just women writers. You're going to love Wicked. I'm not watching Wicked, but did you see the dolls? They fucking put a bunch of dolls out for Wicked, Barbie, or whatever, and it said Wicked.com on the back, and that's OG porn shit. So all these people are trying to find the dolls going to Wicked.com only to see Jenna Jameson's huge tits. That's Wicked. That is. Who's Jenna Jameson married to? Isn't she married to like a...

an actor right now or something? I think he's like a

I'm not sure. I got a guest request in my email, and it was like, and his wife. We went to Florida when I was fucking 14, 15. Do you know the computers that used to be in the hotels? Like in the lobby? Yes, the center. Me and my cousin went over to it, immediately went on Google Images, Jenna Jameson naked, and then some dude rolled down. We bounced. The hotel I stayed at at Williamsport, you missed out on that. They had a fucking computer in the lobby, but that was haunted as fuck. Right.

Also, Gardini, that hotel we stayed at in St. Louis, haunted. I know. I actually looked it up, and there was beds moving and shit. Oh, really? What? Yeah. It was really haunted looking. It was fucking creepy as shit, dude. I was scared as F. Really? The house I'm in now is... This one? No, the... Your house is haunted up there. We're in Westchester. Oh, yeah. It's not, though. I think it is. Nothing's happened. You love the haunt, bro. He does. You live for the fucking haunt. You know I love spooky stuff.

Did you ever watch a documentary on Hulu? Which one? About the dude who had the fucking legit haunted house. Really? He didn't have a haunted house. He was torturing people. Torture people, but you would sign a waiver, and he referred to it as the haunt. If you make it through this, I'll give you $10,000. He was just torturing people? People would get through it and be like, no. He would shave your one eyebrow. Yeah. Bury you alive, shave your eyebrow off, pull your tooth out. So he was haunting people. He was giving them the haunt. He was literally just torturing people. It was basically like, do you want to live in the movie that you saw?

He'd lock someone in his fucking house and beat the shit out of them and be like, yeah, you quit, pussy. They'd literally bury them alive. Like, oh, you're tapping? All right, don't get the 10 grand. They would just videotape this and definitely drink it off. A good soldier went through it, right? Yeah. Like a Marine got through it and he made it the whole way and he was like, no, I'm not paying you. It's pretty nice. It'd be nice if you yanked someone out of bed by their ankles. Dude, like he did this shit. What? They all called it the haunt.

Is it a documentary now? Yeah, it's amazing. It's very funny because the people that get tricked by it are also... They kind of have it coming. Ghost heads are a little weird. They're ghost heads. They're on the internet. They go, holy shit, this is the scariest thing ever. It's literally just a weird guy beating the shit out of you. Yeah. Like, this is so spooky.

It is fucked up though. You like fucking will try to pull your tooth out and shit. Yeah, that's crazy too to call like your loved ones. Like it's going great. My fucking inside. You can't call. You can't call. It's like the fucking Monroe's. I was literally going to say that. What? It's pretty much like the haunted, like people who are into haunts but for Monroe. Yeah, you can't disrupt the haunt. Yeah. Came all the way here from fucking Germany.

I had a spooky dream last night. Oh, no. I was on a train. They're like, do you want to take the seat on the top? And I was on the seat above the train. And I was on the seat. It just turned out to be a little swing. And I was getting propelled on a train. My little tether kept going further and further. Eventually, I started swinging around power lines. I had to abandon it. I feel like an astronaut. It felt like a fucking astronaut. Yeah.

It's fucking sick. I had a dream when someone died in my house and I took too long to call the cops and I had to fucking discard the body. What? Yeah. What the fuck? We need to get you boys to the Monroe. We got to go back. With dreams like these? I know. We got to go back. With dreams like these, who needs reality? True that. True. I will say, I was up probably like 60 feet just holding on to swing chains being like, I could fall the fuck out of here. And I'd experienced that terror last night. I was like, that's fucked up.

I got enough problems, dude. I was like, I don't need to be propelled like 75 feet in the air. Wake up and like, oh, to a kid crying. I'm like, fuck. Speaking of tumble, have we discussed Jay Leno's brewski tumble? No, what happened to him? He took a late night brewski tumble. He said he was just going to go eat. He's at a hotel. He hit a fucking, there's a restaurant down at the bottom of the hill. His chin is the hotel, okay? Yeah.

He just fucking damaged the floor. No, he went. I think he tried to walk outside of the hotel down a hill to a restaurant. Big time brewski tumble. He's two-faced. He's Harvey Dent now. The whole side of his body is fucking ruined. He took a geese tumble. That's not a brewski tumble. That's a geezer tumble. A lot of geezer tumbles are brewski related. Yeah, they're brewski tumbles. No, that is a brewski tumble. You said he was getting hurt before this? He's been getting fucking rocked, dude.

His car exploded, his fucking house. Jay Leno's been getting beat the fuck up. What's that movie where the guy has to keep his adrenaline up high? Yeah, he's doing that. What is it? Crank. Yeah, Crank. He's just in the next Crank. He's Crank.

Get in a car accident. I've got to get to that Applebee's. Oh, fuck. Craig's wild. Seeing Jay Leno drunk, it would be kind of exciting. Then seeing him fall would be like so good. He fell like 50 feet. What? He took the ultimate. That was like a princess ride. Remember how bad his fall is? Hold up. Let me see this.

Oh, I see. I saw the face. I didn't know what the fuck it was. Yeah, it's a brewski tumble. And also, he's taken so many brewski tumbles and car explosions that people are calling him gay. Why? Because he keeps getting beat up and people are like, obviously this is gay prostitutes. Yeah, this is the Illuminati at work. No, it's just brewski tumbles and people are like, this is the devil in gay shit. Ken, you're ass kicked by a gay prostitute. I just watched a gay dude beat someone up on Twitter. It was crazy. Nice. Did you see, like, he stomped on the guy's head like this.

What? It was fucking crazy. What was this? It was crazy. This gay dude just beat the shit out of his sister's boyfriend. Damn. And he went over his head. The guy was talking. He's like, what'd you say? Oh, no. And just stepped back over him like this and just stood over him the whole time. It was fucking wild. A gay guy beat his ass? Yeah, dude. Yeah. Ooh.

That sucks. Yeah, you got to just fold it up after that and become like a priest. That's when you pull it out. Pause. The gun. Yeah, right. Or submit fully and pull it out. That's what I'm saying. I've been worrying about pulling it out all day. Fine, I'm yours now. You've defeated me in hand-to-hand combat. I am yours. Will you have me? For what? Huh?

Just when I thought I was out. Okay. She pulls me right back in. She hates Bill Maher. Who? Janet Jameson. Janet Jameson hates Bill Maher? Hates him. Who gives a fuck? Said he's a piece of shit. Why? Just said he's a fucking piece of shit. Why? Known for the Playboy Mansion. Kid Love Productions. That's the company's name.

That is a production. That is a company's name. I've heard that before. Is what it is. He loved production. That's a fair question. What's Shannon Sharpe's podcast? Club Shasha. Yeah. I was thinking Club Random, Club Shasha. Yeah, two different fucking clubs, dude. Yeah. Did you see he had the Hawk Tua girl on? I saw Bill. I saw Bill Maher on. Can you believe it? Yeah.

Also, there's another slap. The Tyson slap took over the fucking Will Smith slap. Nah, dude. Don't even know where it comes from. No. The Will Smith slap was way bigger. It was huge, but did you see that? I saw it. I saw it. I don't know if it was fake or not. I don't know. I don't know if it was staged. You see he stepped on his foot? Yes.

You never know. Tyson hates him. Dude, that was fucking confusing the shit out of me. The only weird shit was when the announcer kept telling Roy Jones Jr., oh, no, that's Mike Tyson's tick. He bites his glove. And Roy Jones is like, no, he doesn't. Yeah, that was kind of weird. What the fuck are you talking about? But he's always been doing that. He's always been his glove. He's always done that. But not that much. His trainer taught him. Otto taught him how to do that so he can keep his guard up. He's always done that a little bit.

Well, there you go. Who the fuck is out? Cussamato. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cussamato. I mean, I corrected you and I was wrong. So now I need to go to blue ski.

Now we gotta go blow that guy who kicked that guy. I was an incorrect know-it-all. That's where the blueskies... When you're an incorrect know-it-all, you head over to blueski. Take your pills and go on blueski. Guys, think about it. Our cars run on fuel and they propel us forward for snacks. It's capitalism's fault. It's capitalism. Yeah. He's making me buy all these snacks because I make so much money. At the heart of it, he's right that it is capitalism that's putting the chemicals in the food.

Yeah. So, you know what I mean? But he did it wrong. Yeah. He was an incorrect know-it-all, but... They all are, bro. They thought they were going to take over. Sissons, Withers, and all those boys. They were white dudes. They were the young white boys for Harris, and they fucking folded. Like, we let women down.

It's like, dude, not every woman wants to suck a baby. Dude, women got fucking some completely psyoped into thinking that they were going to be shot in the head by a doctor during birth. Dude, they're for real. It's called a... I don't know why they throw black dudes in with deportation. They're going to deport the immigrants and the blacks. It's like, why? How are they getting roped into this? You guys got roped in on the fucking gay pride flag, and I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, that's a tough L. Wait, are we on the flag? Yeah. You're right next to the trannies on the gay pride flag because it's two stripes in the flag now. Black and brown, bro. We should be spazzing. That's like the opposite. Yeah, you let it happen. All right, I'm leading the charge on that. Although that gay dude's this. The gay dude that beat that guy up put you guys. Yeah. That stripe's on the flag. He belongs on there. Yeah, he rocks. That guy rules. He's the strongest person on the flag. That happened during COVID.

What, that fight? No, no, no. You guys got put on the flag during COVID. They did. They used that. Congress passed it. I don't think they let us know that. I think everybody else knows it. I don't think black people know we're on the gay flag. Yeah, if you go on the gay broad in Philly, it's on the street signs. I thought that was like, you said brown blood? No, brown and black. Oh, I thought you said brown blood. I thought it was like a blood shit asshole thing. Yeah. White guys aren't on it. What was gay sex though? Damn, he's sick to be a gay racist and just rip off the...

No. Yeah, right. I'm not kidding. But yeah, dude, they tricked women into thinking that like if you it's an ectopic pregnancy is when you get an egg in the fallopian tubes. And like, dude, there was a lot of like a lot of like Britney's friends were like, be careful down there. And like we looked it up and it's like none of it's true. Obviously, like if you're dying, the doctor won't save you. It's like not true. None of it's true. We're not going to get a bonus this year. If you get pregnant, all your dreams won't come true.

No, for real. It was like you're going to die. If you have a miscarriage, you're like, if you have a miscarriage, they're not going to be able to stay in your body and rot. I was like, that can't be true. And I looked it up. I was like, no, none of it's true. Even in like Texas. Yeah, all those soy boys were like, we've let women down today. My daughter. It's like, dude, why are you so worried about your daughter getting fucking pregnant? My wife's going to get fucking killed during a C-section.

Yeah, it's kind of- The mayor's blue no matter who, bro. He doesn't care what they're talking about. Do you feel like we let women down, though, honestly? No. Really? No. So what are you crying about? I do like Project 2025, though. I do like it. That's the thing. That's all bullshit and has nothing to do with Trump. I don't- Brother, they already took the porn before it even started. They should, dude. So I don't think it's all bullshit. They should. That was a Democrat-

No, it wasn't. Abbott's Republican? Yeah. Oh, my bad. Take it back. Take it back. But, dude. You should. Here's the thing. I need to go to Blueski. There should be some sort of guardrail. Although you can't go on any porn site, really. You just can't go on porn. Oh, yeah. That is the Republicans taking our porn. That's fucking weird. I think it's good. Why should kids, if you can't go in and buy alcohol, why can't a kid just go look at fucking porn on the internet? There should be some stop measure against it. Yeah, you go, are you 18? Yes or no? Yes. Of course. Of course.

The honest porn kids are going to do the right thing. I like it. I like the blocks. It's good. I mean, it is kind of convenient when you're sitting down to do something nasty. You go, what have I done? Governor Abbott, you're right. When I hit nofaps, dude, you don't jerk off. It's a lot of time, you see. You can get right around it. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, I'm not totally against it. Think about the 20-minute sessions you hit every now and then where you got a little sweat hitting the phone. You're like, what am I doing? Yeah, dude. Just come. Just come.

Sweat's hitting the phone when you're jacking off? You sweat jacking off? Furiously. No. No, not actually. I sweat under my balls pretty badly.

Under your tank? Yeah, my tank gets so sweaty. I work up a vicious sweat underneath my balls. Really? Then I get done. That's part of my shame. Dude, I have like the sweatiest tank. You're jacking off like a fucking Greek emperor? Yeah. Absolutely. I'm literally doing exactly that. Probably in that seat before. I'm on the toilet. I get up. I'm in the driver's seat, brother.

clean you're fighting something dude you're fighting something if you're sweating jacking off to that stuff that's what it is there's a battle going on i wish i could search something else but i would never do it's the battle for the ultimate vid you're going this one's all right but there's a better one out there there's something else oh fuck i'm so fucking how do you guys feel about this sweat versus not sweating jack off thing

I'm trying to think of the posture. In bed. How are you getting it on your phone? Because he jacks off on the toilet. Obviously, you're finishing with a self-suck. I'm institutionalized, bro. This is where I've been all my whole life. For real, though, jacking off on the toilet is a blue ski. No, it's not. That's what it's called. What? Jacking off on the toilet is called a blue ski. No, dude, don't do that.

You do blue skis. That's alpha. It's prison shit. Jizzing on your shit. Yeah. It's prison shit. It's always flush, bro. Jizzing on poop. I would feel so bad to jizz on my own shit. I've jayed on a tee. You've jayed on a tee? Yeah. Aiming right in the toilet. Because it's like, I don't want to, I'm like leaving it there because then I want to like. You're trying to preserve some water. I don't want to alert the jerk off police if I flush once. And then it's like. The jerk off police will be on you. Yeah.

So it's like, let me get. That's two stars. That's what I'm saying. This is like institutionalized shit where it's like you can't flush twice in the bathroom. So you got to take a shit and jerk off. You guys had a wild fucking childhood. I mean, dude, people. Two flushes. The force is strong. The J.P. is on you. They'll get your ass, dude. You had one half the population watching the other door bang. What are you doing in there? Nothing.

I was talking about my wife. Yeah, I know. Yeah. But then you were institutionalized. I was Metal Gear Solid. Yeah. Before that. Yeah. I was Solid Snake before that. You guys were dropping stuff. Ew. Yeah. The worst is the cleanup in a toilet. You got to be careful because like one flush doesn't take everything down. They'll hang on the fucking side of the bowl. You got to clean around the edges. Yeah. Yeah. It's the last thing you want to question. Like, what the fuck's going on with the toilet? Be like, what?

Huh? You got to check the perimeter. You might miss and hit the sides. This is a whole thing. It's a big thing, dude. It's a major operation. Yeah. It's a major operation. You had your own room your whole life. Yeah. You could never do it. True. Being in my room would be devilish. That would be crazy.

I just read a book about a guy in prison. He was saying that they used a sock that they would flip inside out so it was like the outer part of the sock, but you would flip that in where it's softer. And he said like an old school, like an OG dude had been locked up there for a long time. It was like you roll the socks together, you hit like the soft part of the sock, and right before you come, you just...

jack up the base or not the base like underneath the helmet what fucking erotic fiction was this it was just this guy he was like the guy like put me on the game did my mom give you this book said an older inmate schooled him was like dude if you want to come really hard just jack off on the top but then you have to like press the top and he goes dude it's a knee buckler every time

It was such a weird life. I just watched 60 Days In and everyone in jail was just dumb as shit. It's all just a bunch of dumb ass dudes. I think we tricked them this time. Let's smoke weed. The guards come and check this out. Like, we fooled them. It's like, they definitely just don't want to do that. You're just back in eighth grade. I know, that's what I'm saying. You're back in eighth grade. Every single one. 60 Days In is a crazy show. I love it. Yeah.

It is good. Do you ever think about how you'd be in there? I would never, dude. Fuck jail. Really? I would hate to be. I went through the Monroe Institute. What if you're a political prisoner? You'd have to go to the gun shop and go to the bathroom. I went to the Monroe Institute. No, but what if you're like a political prisoner? What if you like, what if the Dems won and then like you had to take back what was yours? Oh, I thought about that before I would take the L. I would immediately turn on road to Moscow, put the AirPods in, just wait for the fucking bus to pick me up. Crossed over the border. General Flynn. I think we've done it. We did it.

I just got to stretch my knee out here. I think we've done it. I think we done did it. Bill. Same shoe. Same shoe. What does that see on there? It's blue ski. For real? It's Drew ski. Yeah. Yeah. Is he blue? He's blue ski. Drew ski's blue ski. That's crazy. All right. Thank you guys. God bless you guys.