Ep 477 - Father God (feat. Cole Beasley)
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Yeah. Whenever I get high, I'm so happy when it's over. Oh, you're relieved. When it wears off, I'm like, dude, I love you guys. Thank God I'm back. That was the worst day I've ever had in my life. Your high must not be a good one, man. It sucks, man. Coming from the bug out is just, thank you, man. It's like, thank you. If you're fully just vibing and all of a sudden it wears off, you turn into the grump.

So you're out there vibing, walking your dog. You're vibing, walking your dog. You come back in. Your wife's immediately like, where'd you put this? Well, you've forgotten to do 25 things. You didn't blah, blah, blah when you left. You're like, dude, why do you worry about this shit? It's the trash. It's the trash for me. Yeah.

I missed the trash. I don't take the trash out of me. I left the front door wide open. I'm like, who cares? Dude, you're annoying right now. We shouldn't even have borders. I can't do edibles though. Edibles are the ones that make me freak out. Yeah. I'll get sick and start freaking out.

I like want to pee. Also, I feel like I'm high for five days if I take a fucking edible. Yeah. Yeah. It's such a longer high. Yeah. They get you. Yeah. I don't enjoy them. I used to eat them and forget. I would impulsively eat them. I used to make gummies and I would just be like, yeah, what the fuck? And I'd munch a couple of them, forget and be driving and be like, ah, shit. I forgot about that. I forget. Yeah. I mean, we've talked about it a thousand times on here, but Matt, Matt used to make edibles and I would, we live together. So I'd just be sitting there.

Just playing Xbox all day. And he'd be like, it's not a bad day. He'd be like, here, I'll test these out. And I'm not good at getting high. So I'd like, I'd be like, yeah, whatever. Totally would forget that I'd eaten one. 30 minutes later, I'd be like, I'd be like, yeah, these are strong, dude. They're either too much or not enough. It's either you don't feel them and then you overdo it because you're like, I need to take another one. And then it hits you and you're like, fuck, what just happened? Yep. Yeah, I've been off them for a while. It's been nice. So I've gotten a lot. I get so much shit done now.

like it's insane i was really not firing all cylinders there i thought i was yeah i really my productivity is already at a minimum if i toss weed on top of this it's over

Well, it gets you because you're like, I'll be so stoned and I'll be like, I just got to enjoy my life. And I'll just not do anything for two days and come back and like, fuck, I need to do stuff. This is not ideal. It's like a Aesop's fable. It is. Yeah. Like you can't just enjoy life. Yeah. No. You got to do something. You have to.

You just enjoy life. Winter comes. It's like the grasshopper. You knock on someone's door and you go, can I come in? Yep. It's a grasshopper. Winter's not cool. Especially not right now. Yeah, winter sucks here. Nothing compared to it. Good God. I was furious. Matt was in San Diego this weekend. I was in Peoria, Illinois.

New number one on the power rankings of shittiest town in the entire country. Peoria, Illinois, that was hell. Never heard of her. Yeah. It's in the middle of fucking Illinois. Is Illinois second biggest city? I think it's Chi-town and then maybe Peoria. I could be wrong. I'm sure a bunch of suburbs of Chicago count. Yeah, true. Because Peoria was like a small, shitty Harrisburg. But it had political administrative buildings and stuff? Uh...

I don't know. Impressive domes. There weren't very many impressive domes. Really? No, there was a hospital. I think that was the entire economy. Oh, really? So it wasn't even as big as Harrisburg. No. There's a hospital, Bradley University is there. Bradley Cooper University? Bradley, the University of Bradley Cooper. What?

and uh but yeah then the the weather hit and that was so cool that was what were you doing out there though I was doing a show I did a show I did a show in Peoria and St Louis and I had to get in a night early because of the weather here to make sure I got to the show so I just had a Thursday to do nothing in Peoria Illinois and uh there's nothing to do anyway yeah what'd you do nothing play that show laid down

Really? Tried to go outside. I think Chicago's where we got stuck last year. This little snowpocalypse or whatever in Chicago. Chicago's so fucking cold, dude. Oh, you went, did you go during Christmas last year? Yeah. I was supposed to go during Christmas. I was supposed to do like an in-law trip and we got our flight got canceled due to the snow. Which is really cool. They let me come hang out at the end of the season. That was fun. Oh yeah, Cole Beasley, everybody. Cole motherfucking Beasley. The interesting thing about Peoria is that there's still bumps.

What? There's bums in every town, but there's like just five black dudes walking around outside in Peoria. They wear their full snowsuits? They're just in full fucking like, the one guy was wearing like a, he was working on a traffic construction. Nice. He just had a nice reflective vest.

Yeah, just me and the bums were the only ones outside walking around. Then I tried to, I was like, oh, here's a mall. I went into a mall. It was just totally abandoned. Really? Filled with like three bums. What? Just bums sleeping in the food court. It was hell, dude. That's fucking crazy. That town fucking sucks. Yeah.

That's fucking... Yeah, dude, I'm telling you, man. My wife's from... Brittany's from Chicago. She brought... My wife's from Chicago. She brought me there in the wintertime and I was just like, we'll never live here. We'll never live in Chicago, dude. It's so fucking... Midwest winters. The wind hits you and you get furious. Buffalo's fucking cold, too. Buffalo's... Buffalo, the wind... Chicago's worse, though. Yeah, for sure. I've played two games in Chicago that were worse than any game I've played in Buffalo. Dude, there's... It's so chilly, dude. It's like cold and then the wind hits you and you're like, this is just bullshit. It's so fucking... It's...

Yeah. They're like, where'd you go originally? Tejas, America. Yeah. So you must have been cold Beasley up there. You know what? You get used to it, though. I actually started enjoying it a little bit. Really? So I would always, a big sleeve guy when it's cold. When I was in Dallas, we'd go to the Giants. We'd play there.

And it'd be like 30 and I'd be freezing my ass off and hate it. And then I come to Buffalo and then I'm out there in warmups and sleeves. And by the time the game starts, like I always do the old man sleeves. I like cut them. You know, they, they have the half sleeves, but I cut them. I like the second raunchy trail. So how, but does that really fuck? I mean, it has to fuck you up when it's that cold. Like,

It's got to be tough to concentrate. I can't imagine. After a while, you get used to it. Actually, the cold here feels way worse. 20 degrees here is way worse than 20 degrees in Buffalo, and I have no idea why. I don't know if it's the moisture in the air or what, but it's not good. I'd much rather be in Buffalo. Tell you what, minus four in Peoria is...

Sucks. I don't think minus four is good anywhere. Sucks. Yeah, man. At least it's good. It drives people into indoors for the show. The bums are still out. True. The bums. You don't like the outdoors? No. When you do stand-up, it's good. I have to try to use nature to coerce people to go inside. So you want it to be really cold so people have no other option. So there's no comedy clubs in Miami. Yeah. In New Orleans. Yeah.

Because people would rather have fun than go listen to a guy talk about his problems and his small dick.

Let's get drunk and watch a guy talk about a small beer. I had a good time. You know, that was actually, I think that was the first comedy show I've ever been to. It was yours. Really? Yeah, I think so. Which one? The one here. At the Vulcan? Yeah, that was fun. That was the first time I've ever been to one. Sick. It was cool. How did you guys meet? How did you guys? Gabe. Gabe Davis? Gabe Davis. The best. The best ever, Gabe Davis. Get well soon, Gabriel. We're praying for you. Trying to get him to come to Texas next year. Let's get him out of there, huh?

Chill, chill, chill, chill. I just want him to be closer. If I'm not there, I don't want him there anymore. He can't be a Dallas Cowboy. Why not? No income tax? I'll switch my allegiance. It's a good spot. I'll wear this. I'll put it on Dallas Cowboys. Just flip the hat backwards. Put it on, buddy. Put a little Dallas Cowboys Gabe Davis hat on. Philly fans are the fucking worst. They're never a good experience at the stadium. Yeah, but it's fun when you're one of the guys that are making it a negative experience for other people. Probably. Probably.

Isn't it fun to ruin things for people? They're probably one of those fans who told me on Twitter one time that I look like I fumbled my baby after a fumble. After that, all hell broke loose. I tell a fan to eat a dick and it goes viral. I get in trouble. Oh, you tweeted back? Oh, of course. Oh, I've been there, brother. Yeah. I've wanted to tweet back so many times. I've shut down my Twitter at least four or five times. What did the guy say? What did the guy say? The guy, I posted just a picture of me and my child at the time. Oh, he went for your child? He said he looked like I fumbled my baby, you know?

What a dickhead, bro. When they go for the children, it's fucked. When they start hitting your children. That's what I'm saying. Dude, I don't even think my kid could talk at the time. It's like you're going at a toddler who can't even speak. You can't feed them, bro. You cannot feed them. That's bullshit. I'm good at feeding them. You think that's... You are. You are. Good at feeding them fuel. What did you call him? You just called him like a pussy? No, I told him to eat a dick.

That's fair. Coolest thing ever, though. If a fan actually blew up that tweet, brought it to Cowboys camp the next season, I signed it. That was the coolest thing ever. That's pretty tight. It worked out. Yeah. That is funny he said that, though.

I mean... From his perspective. It's so funny to attack an athlete's child anonymously. In his defense, I had one catch that game and I fumbled the bitch. But we blew him out. It was in London versus Jacksonville. Shout out to Dez. He balled his ass off that game. Nice. Hell yeah. But yeah, fans are ruthless, man. What do you think about playing over in London? I wasn't a big fan of London. It was always cloudy. It was always rainy. Yeah. Bullshit.

I got sick, and then I brought it back and got my baby sick, so that wasn't cool. And that guy tweeted that mean fucking shit. Yeah, dude tweeted that. While you're sick, reading that tweet. I blame it on the coaches, though. They got mad because everybody was like, we had curfew, and everybody was like, we're grown men, why do we have curfew? Everybody was going out and shit, and then the next morning, people were late to meetings, and so they make us do a walkthrough outside, and it's freezing and raining outside. And I get sick. It's their fucking fault. It totally is their fault. That's fucking bullshit.

Was it a Wembley? Yeah. That's pretty cool. It was a cool stadium. Cool environment. But it's like they didn't know when to cheer. It was still new then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're all wearing just random jerseys. Yeah, it was awesome. The whole stadium's wearing just any football team. Yeah, it was cool though. I was always curious. How did they react? Were they cheering? Were they just excited in general? It's like when you'd have a bad play, they'd cheer. I don't know. I don't know.

Maybe they were cheering for the other team, but it's just hard to know. I feel like Cowboys, you know, our fans travel better than anybody. So I like to think most of them were going for the boys, you know? True. And they would cheer sometimes when it's like, I don't think they should cheer right now. But...

I don't know. By God, he snapped the ball. Was it English announcers? By George, that's a first down for the Dallas Cowboys. I don't even remember any of that, dude. I have the worst memory. Maybe it's from playing 11 years of football after I should. Is John Madden dead? Yes. Is he dead? When did he die? That's a good question. I think he died two years ago. It wasn't that long ago. Really? Yeah.

he was the fucking man yeah he was the best i was like who the fuck else and there's always this oakland raiders he's the boom guy right yeah come on man he's more than that yeah i'm just sorry no that's fine play football but i don't know as much as i should about it uh there's a good clip going around of him he was the raiders coach and they were like dirty as fuck they were like punching people in the face and shit yeah and he's like you think we play dirty

do something about it it's like i like that that's cool that's awesome yeah he was just a big fat guy on the sidelines with just a team of goons i think he played for the eagles did he really yeah he was bird let's let's check that i don't know about that i think john madden played professional football for the philadelphia eagles yeah i didn't know he played i thought he just coached a unit dude he died in 2021 from what

Old age, I think. From what? I got to find the death real quick. Old age. I feel like it's very bad that we don't know this, though. What, he died? What, he died? Yeah. Well, you hear him on the video games. I still got it. Yeah, they should keep him on Madden forever. They should. Hopefully. Yeah, that'd be fucking bullshit if they didn't. It's his deal. You could just AI. Yeah, how'd he die? He played for the Eagles. He did play for the Eagles. Confirmed. Confirmed.

Eagles confirmed. Coastal Raiders confirmed. Although, did he Tupac his death? He might still be alive. Undisclosed. He was 85 and a huge guy. When was the vaccine rollout? 2020. Brother?

You said it. Let's not get on that here. Did you get a lot of pushback for that kind of stuff? I feel you might get on that here. We can talk about it a little bit if you want. What, are you talking about recent medical breakthroughs? You're talking about you don't trust the science. I don't know much about anything. You don't trust the science? I'm not a scientist. You don't trust the science? No.

I love the science. I wanted to get it so bad I never got to. No, I love all science. It came out super duper fast, man. I don't know. Yeah, no shit. I was just very hesitant about that one. They literally were like, this is warp speed. We shouldn't be doing this. Came out of nowhere there, buddy. I never got to get it. I tried to get it every day and I just...

It was hard to get a hold of. I was like, please, give me one. They went, we don't have any more left. I went, oh, no. Yeah. I survived, though. I did survive. I actually almost went home and talked to my wife. I was like, should we? Yeah. Turned out. Well, that was tough because. Yeah. Was she with it? No. No, I'm saying, were you like, should we get it? And she was like, what are you, a pussy?

No, no. I went home and was like, should we? She was like, fuck no. But after a while, you know, when you get so many people just coming at you and after a while, you're like, maybe I should just fucking get it. That's what I did, bro. I folded. I didn't fold. It was embarrassing to watch your press conference when I was sitting there after I folded. The statement, man. The statement. I remember the statement. But you only got one.

You're a muggle. That's all right. You're a muggle. I know. No, you're a muggler. I got one. One should be all you need, right? Isn't it one for all the others? I don't know anything. I don't either. I just knew they weren't going to let me work at the comedy store unless I got it. Yeah, that was a good move. Yeah.

Yeah, they wouldn't let us do a lot of things if we didn't get in. I had a QB. My family was like, my wife was like, I don't know what we should do. And I was just like, fuck it, we're not doing it. And then she was happy afterwards. She was pregnant. Turned out great. Damn.

Yeah, she was pregnant during the whole thing. So it was like... You really should not do it. What's going to happen? I was like, fuck, no, I'm not doing this. Maybe you should do it. If you're pregnant, go get the vaccine. Or don't. You know? No, you should get it. Get it or not. If you're pregnant, get a bunch of them. No, she didn't do it. It'd be funny to get flagged. It'd be funny to get flagged for...

misinformation of being like take a bunch of vaccines like actually that's not healthy either well they just it just they just went away no one it's like you it's like if you talk about it like oh my god get over that it's like dude like that was insane now it's just gone you can like you weren't allowed to talk about it now you can be like also you'll still see a Pfizer commercial they're still promoting the boosters well

Now the new epidemic is amongst the super elderly. They're like, this is the new epidemic of COVID. It's like, what are you talking about? It was the whole time. They're putting out a new thing now. They're trying to like, the elderly aren't getting boosters. So now they're just focusing on that. My parents got it. There was a while where my mom and dad were just like, hey, get the fucking shot and shut up. Yeah. I was like, I'm too far in. I'm in too deep. You're too deep, dude. It's too late.

I got all these people thanking me. I can't stop now. True. Oh, bro. That would have hurt. That would have hurt. The Patriots would have been down, dude. All the bros, all the young teammates were like. How worried were you about dying from it and have everyone been like, ah. I was never scared to die. I never thought that. It was more so like to. The funny thing is everybody who got in the NFL was like just kidding. I got to use the sauna, bro. I was like, dude, just go in the fucking sauna. What are they going to do? Sweat it out. You know what I mean?

I went in the sauna. It was great. I heard that. Did they, did you have to do all that weird shit where like you had to go in earlier and like, yeah. So that was my deal. I was like, all right. And then I got fined a ton for not wearing masks because of this. But I was like, I told the head, head man, I was like, I'm gonna do what makes sense. Right.

I get tested. I wait for 30 minutes. After that, why do I have to wear a fucking mask? I'm more safer than any of you in here. It's kind of my deal. Then I got fined over $150,000 or whatever it was over the course of the year. Could you pull your nose down like that or would they hate on that? So I did when I did the statement. Honestly, I wish I would have just not worn it at all. The one day, I just did it because I was in front of the camera. It's like, all right, let me. Yeah, yeah.

Let me just think about the bills here and not get them in too much trouble. But honestly, who can talk with that fucking thing? And the whole time it's just coming off my face while I'm talking. My chin pulls it down and people think I'm wearing it purposely below my nose. But I was like, no, when I talk, my chin moves. It pulls it down, you know? But yeah, it's a shit show. And what bullshit? In and all for what? I don't know, man. I just know the NFL made sure to get that last...

$75,000 fine in before the playoffs. True. Last week. And this, I'd already had COVID. So it's like, I don't know what they, I don't know the science behind everything, but after you have COVID, you know, you don't have to test anymore. So if I don't have to test anymore, why the fuck do I have to wear a mask? And then I got to,

Big $75,000 fine at the last one. And then all that shit was over. Playoffs, they just went away with all of it. I was like, those dirty bastards. Make sure to get that fine in. God, dude. It's wild. I was just laughing. I was just talking about when Rudy Gobert got it.

Do you remember that? He played for the Jazz. And he was like the first guy to get COVID. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes to the press conference. This is the NBA game they shut down at halftime. Yeah. Middle of the game, they were just like, all right, everybody leave the arena. Somebody's got COVID in here. I don't even remember that. Y'all still watching the NBA? No, it was like day one. It was like the first COVID thing. And this guy, he gets COVID first, and he comes and he does a press conference. He's like, I have COVID, ha-ha. And he touches all the microphones. Oh, yes. Yeah.

And everyone was like, ha ha ha, this is funny. I didn't get it until they stopped testing all the vaccinated players. The week after. Isn't that wild? Really? Stopped testing them all because they were all getting it. And then I get it. Now I'm an asshole and I ruined the season. They blamed it on you, yeah.

Meanwhile, all my vaccinated teammates are playing in the game against New England Patriots with COVID. I'm at home not being able to play. Yeah, it was unfortunate. They made a lot of money. That's good, though. Pharmaceutical companies made billions of dollars. They did. It is good. I'm just bright-sighted. That's cool. It's good for the economy. And then also, we got to basically mandate mail-in votes off of it. So that was good. Those are two good things. True. That's true. I trust that science, and we're happy about that.

It is also good to get a display of like total fucking subservience from your population. That was a nice watching our whole population fold under tyranny. It was just nice to know that. Yeah. America, the place you would think would be very anti tyranny. Yeah. But whatever. It was good to watch. Yeah. We can't make it any, any announcements. I bet. No, that's all right. I just had a feeling this was coming. No, it's. Yeah. I was going to bring it up.

- You brought it up. - We always bring it up. - True, we talk a lot. - But yes, this time for sure.

That's, you know, you did your thing, dude. Yes. It was hated for it for a while. You know, I didn't even get to do interviews anymore after that. It was wild. But they wouldn't let you? After the statement. Like, so the year before that, every Wednesday was my day to speak to the media. You know, when you're, when you like, I guess when you have success, you have your days or whatever. It's probably me, Steph, Josh on offense or something. But yeah, after that, no more the rest of the year, bro.

The Buffaloes Instagram wouldn't even post a picture of me. They were ashamed of me. Really? Yeah, it was wild. That's a bull. Yeah. It hurt my feelings, you know? Yeah, I bet. It's kind of the reason I was like, hey, get me the F out of here. That would have hurt my feelings. You guys turned on me. Yeah, man. It was also so easy to fake it, too. That was the other thing. Oh, buddy, there's, you know, Lin-Fel loved to...

you know, be the, be this, the spokesman for having the vaccine. But it's like, dude, half of us, half the dudes who got it didn't get it. But yeah, there were a lot of, a lot of fakes.

That was the funniest part of all of it. It was like, bro, you can fake this. Did you do that in your special, that joke? About dudes faking it? Yeah. Going out to breakfast with dudes. It was me. I faked it. Do y'all remember when Antonio Brown got caught and then Bruce Arians was pissed? He was like, let's test everybody to see who really got it. You can't even do that, though. I know, but if they would have, it would have been awesome. I was like, yeah, let's do it. True. I'm with Bruce. I'm with Bruce.

You start like doing the whole team becomes a medical experiment. You start like sawing their limbs off. I'm glad that's behind us. I didn't know Antonio Brown got caught.

Yeah, he got caught with a fake card. Damn, his fake card must have been hilarious. Dude, there were so many people that he could have got with that, dude. No offense to him, but in crayon, just, I got Vax. All right, thank you, AB. Man. Was that the year he, that was his last year, right?

Vaxxer? I think that might have been third quarter, take the jersey off. I think so. That was a wild moment. I'm a savage. He's a wild boy. Fuck this, I'm out. I should have just did that. He's as funny as it gets. His Twitter. Dude, this Christmas tweet he had. That's it. I follow him on Twitter, yeah. He was like, I'm not lying. Dude, A.B. the football player was an animal. I'm not saying some fat cracker came down the chimney and gave you all this. I bought it.

He hasn't been very happy with white people lately, I don't think. He's not happy with the whites. He's been saying cracker a lot lately. I was like, dude, I thought we were boys, man. How old is he? How old is he? How old does he be? Probably like 34-ish. 35 maybe? Makes sense. He got dinged up a couple times. Yeah.

I'm not saying that's why. You got what? You got popped a couple times. That's always, you know, why we're crazy as football players. It's always CTE, buddy. Anytime I do something stupid, I got CTE. That's a nice... Everybody loves to say that. Yeah, that's a nice one. Which, you know, maybe I do. I don't know. I would... Honestly, if you're 5'8", buck 75, you're playing in the NFL, you're probably...

Kind of psycho anyway. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the other thing is most guys in the NFL are psychos. I'm pretty crazy. Yeah. Pretty wild. I'm normal, but then when I get out there, it's...

It's a different animal. It's a different animal. Don't fucking make eye contact with me. You got motherfuckers trying to try you out here at all? Because, yeah, you see NFL dudes, usually huge linemen. Dude, I go under the radar because they don't know. That's what I'm saying. You have them try you and then you ever go beast mode. So I'll get, if I go, no, nobody tries me. If I go to Dallas, I'll get noticed or Buffalo, but out here, nobody gives a fuck. True. Austin, they're just like, who the fuck's this guy? I'm just a...

another civilian he's a honk yeah but they don't crack it huh just a crack yeah they don't know they don't know they don't know man that's fucked up which is cool makes it better anyway lay low rather nobody noticed me you know buffalo was cool about it but dallas is like i'd be walking through the mall and they'd be yelling my name across the fucking mall and then everybody knows yeah buffalo they'll just come up and be like hey i just want to shake your hand yeah it's awesome kind of pleasure shake your hand buffalo fans buffalo fans are great man

Yeah, I like going to Buffalo. Buffalo's, it's a fun town. It's a good, it's my favorite stadium. They're about to have a new one. They're about to demolish it. I know, I'm sad about that. Yeah, they could probably, Buffalo could use a bulldozer on a couple of their buildings. Buffalo's a pretty. Buffalo, the whole city could use a good fucking bulldozer. I'd like to touch a couple of those buildings. Did you spend a lot of time in the city of Buffalo or? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't go to the city much. Oh, you were on the outskirts. Just an OP, Orchard Park. There wasn't much going on in the city. Orchard Park and East Aurora. Those are my scenes. Nice. East Aurora's a nice little town. I think I've ever been there. East Aurora's nice, man. Go to the... Barbell. Barbell is like the...

The wing spot, everybody recommends you to go from the team. It is nice to go to a city where crossing wings is like something everybody's doing. Cajun, a honey butter barbecue. They're really good. The only thing is they're rich. I can only eat like three of them. I'm like, all right, dude. My son will freaking smash those things. Honey butter barbecue sounds, that's a rich wing.

I miss being nine, you know? Yeah. Just pound wings and just go run the 40 right after. Oh, all right. I was going to say, I'm still pounding wings. Yeah. I'm living like a nine-year-old. No, it was nice having no concept. Yeah, but you could go run. You can go sprint right after and not throw up. Yeah.

Never. I don't know when the last time I sprinted was. You probably must have been years. What do you think your 40 time is right now? Four, three, six, eight, four, three, four, four. I probably run itself for three, four. After I left the giants, I knew it was over. I didn't touch a weight. My agent's like, let's see if we can get picked up. And I'm just like, yeah, it's pretty much over. It's the second team I've left mid season. Nobody's going to get to let me come back.

But I was just, at this point, I was like, if you're not going to play me, buddy, I'm out. Yeah. Why don't you just collect the check? It's crazy. After COVID, I went from 82 catches off three broken ribs to just a practice squad player. It was wild. Really? Yeah. But don't they have to pay you the original amount they said they would? Because I would just collect the bag. Why can't you just collect the bag? What are you talking about? What do you mean? So they hired you and they're paying you. The Giants? Yeah. No, I mean, I was vet minimum. But then when you're on P-Squad, you get whatever the P-Squad amount is.

I was here today. Which was cool, but, you know, I think they just brought me there to kind of coach and get to hang out in the locker room. I was like, dude, I've hung out in the locker room for 11 years already. Yeah, you wanted to play. It was cool, but, and I do want to, I would like to coach at some point, but I didn't want to coach fucking New Jersey. Yeah. My kids are going to this school where, I don't know, I don't know if we should bring up those issues either. It's just a little different there than Texas. True. Yeah.

- Coaching would be rad. - Coaching will be rad. - Get me out of here. - Coach is fun, dude. I coached my kid's flag football team. It was a blast. - What was the record?

We lost one game, but we won the championship. We ended up beating that team we lost to in the championship. Damn, dude. 28 to nothing. So it was awesome. You're going to make a goddamn movie about it. Well, the flag football, you play them the first time. You have no idea what they're going to do. True. I got a pretty extensive football background. So once we got the playoffs, I was like, all right, now I know what all you fuckers are doing. You're done.

God, that's fucking awesome. There was this one team that gave us a run, though. Lake Travis Jaguars, man. They had a good squad. They played us close both times. I was super pissed about it. We still won, and I was...

I was still mad. I was like, I want to play him again after the championship. Yeah. They were good. That guy was probably talking so much shit after he won too. That guy probably hasn't slept in months. I had his ass. I had him. He's like, I just know the game better than anybody and fucking. What was the score of the final?

28-0. Yeah, so they beat us 29-28 during the season. Our defense had a meltdown. Switched up the defense after that. How old are these kids? Over.

They were like, eight. But that was the first thing. All you have is an NFL Blitz playbook at that point. Yeah, but that was... All right, we're running the bomb. Line up. Superfly. So that gave me faith after NFL was over, though. Yeah. I had a blast. Coaches yelled at me from the other sideline, and I was worried I wouldn't have anything to get that competitive fire out. And then until this guy starts yelling at the ref, you're only listening to him because he played in the NFL. Oh.

I was like, hey, shut that shit up. Apologize. I'll come over there. I'll fucking beat your ass, motherfucker. No, stop there. Oh, man. I felt kind of bad, but I got a little fiery. I was like, all right. Of course you got fiery. I was like, I love it, man. Dude. Coaching. I coached. I got an underage. And for community service, I was like, I'll coach the eighth grade football team. It was the best.

it was so fun dude i'd be up in the press box oh i remember at halftime i was like yo we run a draw out of this shotgun formula did you run a draw we got it i played just basically high school i played one year of college and then quit he's d1 bro don't let him don't let him for you we're not big deal we're at them probably one of the better d1 schools army really though no i quit right away and then i transferred but you're at army though for three weeks okay and then i uh went to elon university

I actually thought about going to Air Force Academy for a little bit. Good call. The whole nine-year commitment deal was what scared me off. The commitment was, yeah. I wanted to play in the league, and I was like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it, how that works. Nine years, damn. They were a little hazy with the commitment thing with me. They were like, it's like four years active duty.

And I was like, oh, nice. Four years I can handle. And then they're like, it's also three years reserved and we're in a war in the Middle East. So that's basically you're going to be. Yeah, you're out there. Yeah. Jesus. Under the lights. At least they were up front about it. No, they weren't very up front about it. Oh, really? Or I was just not listening.

Yeah, you know what? No, they probably weren't. They were like, yeah, it's four years active duty. What position did you play? I'm interested now. Let's go. Tackle, guard? Tackle in high school and then guard in college. I was too slow and short. For tackle? For tackle, yeah. Why does being short matter at tackle? I don't know. They love long arms. Because DNs are all fucking 6'8".

skinny guys now that's true yeah everyone's skinny dude the nba is like everyone's six foot nine just emaciated it's like a point guard i can't watch that once kobe died the nba died for me yeah i don't know it's just i can't i don't i guess he was retired before that but you still like it i've never watched it though like when kobe was playing i would watch the lakers when they're on

But ever since then, I can't. There's no, like, I like Kyrie. You know, I like Steph. For sure. But there's. Kyrie rules. It's just not the same. He does, man. Kyrie rules. Kyrie's dope. Kyrie. He's one of the few. One of the few that stood up, man. Yeah, yeah. He plays for Dallas. I like his documentaries.

He does have good recs. He's like Cisco and Erie. He's got good recs. I'm surprised Cuban signed him. Cuban gave me hell for not getting the damn vaccine. Cuban did? But he was a cool dude about it. He was? I was going to say. He was an asshole on Twitter. And then I was like, hey, what are we doing? So then I reached out. And then we talked on the phone. He was the one who actually almost talked me into getting it. Actually, that was why I went home. It was like, hey, should we get it? Shark tanked it to you.

Yeah, he almost got me. Yeah, I'm out. He was close. So he's pretty persuasive. But I should have known. He's a great businessman. Yeah. And now I know how he's been so successful. Cole, I like you, all right? Cole, I like you a lot. Let's be friends. Yeah, he was good about it. That's pretty cool.

At least he was willing to talk to me and not just call me a fucking hillbilly and move on with his life. At the time, I had no tooth. So of course, after I do the statement, they post me in my picture with no tooth right here. Just make me look like a complete fucking imbecile. That's all right. That was their play, though, during that whole time. Sorry, I played with my daughter at home. We were wrestling. She just caught me right in the face. Damn. She didn't cry. I almost did.

Yeah. My tooth hurts. You can't cry in front of your children. No, dude, I broke my nose and had to come out of the ocean for my two kids and was just like, I'm fine, guys. When you hit your nose, you have no choice but to cry. True. My whole face was wet, luckily for me. I had to come out of the ocean. For real, I was upset and scared and I had to be like,

Because I was like, dude, what if my nose bone is in my brain right now? And if I sneeze, it fucking shoots up into my cortex and kills me. The whole time I'd be like, daddy's fine, guys. He's okay. Unless he's not. He might not be. Unless this bone fragment travels into my hippocampus. I love you guys so much. Being calm for your kids is so tough, though. Yeah.

I lose it sometimes and I'm just like, damn, I shouldn't have done that. So am I being calm? Being calm or being... Being calm. It's tough for me to do. Not screaming at the kids. Yeah, it's tough. My new thing now, I go, you're making me very mad right now. I have to tell them I'm getting mad. And they're like, whoa, what the... Why? And I'm like, because you're not listening to me. Yeah. And they're like, usually I'll just start spazzing. I tell them I'm getting frustrated, but it's probably too late. They already know. Yeah.

Or if one hurts the other one you might instinctively like what are you doing like push them? Oh, I'm so sorry My nine-year-old got it the worst cuz I was like learning how to be a dad with him He's my oldest and feel bad for the guy but he's nine now. Yeah, we've gotten a lot better. You'll be fine Yeah, and it's a boy. It'll be alright now. Yeah boys are like, yeah, I feel you just I feel like me my dad I don't think if you're young you shouldn't be friends with your dad. I

Until you're like 30. And then you go, actually, my dad was cool. I don't think my dad talked to me once. Oh, yeah, I know. Other than yelling at me. Yeah, I know.

My parents weren't really yellers, though. I mean, my dad would whoop our ass, but he didn't yell much. Oh, that's terrifying. He was a quiet ass whooper? That's so scary. He wasn't quiet. He just didn't, you know, he just wasn't yelling. He'd have a stern voice. My dad was scary, though. My dad didn't yell. He would just, he would always talk through the bottom of his teeth. Oh, man.

That's weird. Yeah, that would frighten me a little bit. Dad, I'm not coming over there. You're going to hit me. Get over here. Come here. Yeah, that's my kids when I get mad. They're like, I'm not coming over there. They're smart. Yeah. I remember one time, yeah, I was outside and my dad was like, get the fuck in the house. And I was like across the street. I was like, no, I'm not coming over. You're going to hit me. Why would I cross? Your parents cussed a lot? No, my dad would when he was mad.

My dad, my dad cusses way more now than I ever. Yeah. Once he retired from coaching, he, you know, the only time, the first time I ever heard him say the F word was like my senior year. And cause he's, he's my head coach in high school was my senior year during a football game. He's like, I don't know what the fuck to call it. I was just like mid game. Yeah.

But that's nice. Yeah when we were teenagers my dad brought us into the fold like against our mom he'd be like your mother's a fucking maniac Your mother just makes shit up she rewrites history it's fucking annoying I have no idea what you're talking about. That'd be hard not to do that kids on your side Just for the record your mom's a bitch It's so hard

I didn't want to tell you kids this, but I'm the good one. Just so you know. He would tell us, he'd be like, women rewrite history. It's just, it doesn't make any sense. Things happen. He's just like, it's Jesus fucking Christ. And you're just driving silence for 30 minutes. We'd all be like, all right, dude. Fuck. He's so mad. But that's tough. I'm one of six kids, too. So that's like...

It's tough, dude. Six kids a lot. You get lost in the shuffle with six kids, yeah. Bro, I was in the woods lighting fires and shit, just chilling, dude. I was having a good time. We were just like finding plants and smoking them, being like, this fucking rules. Smoking sugar packets. Yeah. Shit ruled. The woods were so tight, dude. The woods were so tight. My dad and my uncle found our porn fort and just fucking destroyed it. We were just all like...

Damn. We were the, it was our Jewish tunnels, dude. You had Jewish tunnels. Dude, you stood there and jumped up and down. You all stood next to the bulldozer. Yeah.

They turn into the Cameron Crazies. They go nuts, dude. They're like, oh. They're the Cameron Crazies, dude. What do you think about those Jewish tunnels, dude? You got to have some. You got to have some opinions on these tunnels. I don't know anything about them. Well, let me tell you. Here's what's going on. The funniest fucking thing possible happened in New York City. It turns out Jews were digging secret tunnels in New York City.

And they got busted. And they jumped up and down about it. It's nice now nationally you can see them because they are distinctive sex. So now you're like, oh, there's those tunneling Jews. So what are the purpose of tunnels? Tunneling Jews. Now, we don't know exactly what the purpose was. There's a lot of rumors swirling as to what the purpose was. But I would probably say something very bad. For sure. I don't think there's ever...

Every set of tunnels I know has had something terrible in it. Hamas, the Underground Railroad, Vietnam. Something we need to stop is going on in tunnels. Lady Di. I don't know. I feel like as a child, you think tunnels are super cool, though. True. Tunnels are cool. Yeah. I think that might be a rumor is that a bunch of children think those tunnels are not cool. Yeah. That's the rumor. Yeah.

Yeah, that's turning out to be a thing these days. Little kids and grown-ups. I don't know. I don't see it.

Is that always around or is it just social media? It was accepted. You'd have a child molester in your area in the 70s and you'd be like... Yeah, that's the weird guy. Yeah, that guy's a weirdo. I don't know if it's accepted. I swear to God, no one gave a fuck. We had some guys hanging around and everyone was just like, don't go near them. They're weird. If my child were ever to be molested...

Might be the last of me you see ever, buddy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I like that guy. If someone got your kid, you'd probably fuck him up. Unless it was a priest. There's a video of this guy who did that. One guy got accused and was going to trial for molesting his son. And he waited at the airport when he knew that guy was coming by. Does he know that he's guilty? Accused or like he's guilty? I think that guy had a feeling he was guilty. I mean, he risked it all. He shot him in the head. If he's guilty, more power to him. Yeah. I don't think he got a lot of jail time for it.

you know too when you see the guy if he looks a little yeah he looks a little fishy oh yeah he did it you ever seen a video of a guy in court who's like your honor give me five seconds with this motherfucker i'm saying there's been two i think there's been two different mothers and different things that have like come in court and just shot dudes just been nice dude that's man that's tough i don't yeah

And I think the one guy like beat the guy to death with a shovel and just called the cops, turned himself in and was just like, yeah, I just beat the fucking shit out of this guy. Yeah. Hell yeah. Dude, I had a, I had a head coach in a basketball in high school. There was one time where somebody, there was a thief issue in the, in the locker room. Somebody was stealing stuff. Our, my head basketball coach came in the locker room and talked to us. He's like, Hey, if y'all ever find out like who's stealing this shit, let me know.

He's like, well, get him in the locker room. I'll lock the doors and I'll stand by the door and let y'all beat the shit out of him. I was like, dude, I fucking love this guy, man. Jimmy Art, man. I love that guy. You're a fine thief. Miss him. Yeah, did you guys ever get to lynch the thief? Never found him. That guy was good. Never found him. I don't know, man. Damn. A little All-America. There we go. True.

Yeah, locker room thief is pretty dastardly stuff. Especially his teammates. He was like, I hate a thief. I hate a thief. I hate a thief. Beat his ass. Let me know if you find him. I got to get back to that. Just hating thieves. I hate a goddamn thief. I would just tolerate it like such a bitch. I'd be like, well, whatever. It's just stuff. Well, socioeconomic situations have forced him into this. I hate a thief, man. I hate thieves.

I hate thieves, dude. Or being like, I don't like people calling me a thief. Take me to a Walgreens, I'm fuming about thieves. Everything's locked up and I'm fuming, dude. I'm still fuming. I don't even like to think about it. It makes me angry. True, the thievery. Oh yeah, I used to steal. I forgot I used to steal a lot of stuff. You're a thief. I was a thief. But always, I was more of a Robin Hood. You were more of a Robin Hood. Where I just give to myself if I'm sorry. I did chill though on the auto checkout.

No more. That's good. I hung up the jersey on the self-checkout. I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore. It's just wrong. It's just wrong. I always supported it. I was always scared to do it, but I was happy for you. It was nice. I didn't like doing it. It became absurd, though. I was like, why am I doing this? Yeah, you don't need to. I'm like, I don't need to steal meat right now. This is ridiculous. It feels good.

Getting over on somebody. Yeah, I do like system breaking when you're like, I'm pretty sure they didn't account for this. And this is how you get around. It's like, yeah, you scan your product. This guy's supposed to be watching, but like he's talking to a lady. I mean, yeah, I do like that. Seeing exactly how because I think what they're really relying on is for people to be like, well, I'm not doing that.

Because it's just, there's no, it's crazy. Yeah. I think they're batting down on that now, though. They are. There's always someone there now. Yeah. There used to never be someone by the self-checkout. Yeah. They've always got an attendant right there. But they're not really fucking paying attention. Bro, one to the bag. Yeah. Do you ever choose the self-checkout over the regular one?

Sometimes. I prefer not to, though. Yeah, I don't trust the self-checkout. I don't like the self-checkout. I don't like it either. I don't enjoy doing it. Especially at grocery stores. I don't know what to do with the... It's like put everything in the bag. I'll tell you what to do. You bring it up as a fucking orange and put it in your bag. Bring up a PlayStation 5 as an orange. I don't even like my kids talking to Alexa, bro. Yeah, I don't have Alexa in my house. Get that thing out of here. Oh, have you gone to Whole Foods?

See the new hand scan. You can pay with your fucking hand. Bezos. I don't go to Whole Foods. Yeah, it's nice. I like it. Whole Foods is nice. What are you saying? I live in Wamberley, Texas. There's no Whole Foods. There's no Whole Foods. I'm out in the middle of nowhere now, buddy. Just at Bucky's. I keep moving further and further away from the city of Austin. That's kind of nice.

So now there's not a Buggies. There's, there's a Brookshires. That's good. They do have an H-E-B though. That's a nice H-E-B. H-E-B's nice. H-E-B's nice. It's crazy though. Everybody goes to H-E-B. Everybody goes to H-E-B. Shout out James. Empties out the store. Nobody goes to Brookshires. Yeah. They're moving in. Yeah. I go to Brookshires because everybody takes everything at H-E-B. No, you're holding it. You're keeping them afloat. Yeah.

I just like the cows, man. I like the cows eating grass. Yeah, I want the cows to eat grass. I've seen too many videos of those cows in a fucking box with their legs cut off just getting force-fed gruel. You like the grass-fed beef? Yeah. You make hamburgers with those? Hell yeah. It's too lean. You think so? I think it's not as good. True. In my opinion. I think it's yummy. What do I know? I'm not a scientist. True.

- I don't know, here's something that was fun. I watched this documentary last night. It's called Love Has Won. Has anybody seen this? - No, it's at a bar. - It's a cult, it's great. - Oh nice. - Just a lady who said she was God. And a bunch of hippies showed up. - Yeah. - And she ended up taking, she was taking silver.

She was like, it's a cure-all. Big Pharma doesn't want you to know about this cure-all. And she just kept taking silver. And they're like, you're going to turn blue if you keep taking silver. You're going to die. Turn blue? Yeah, her whole... She turned blue from the silver. That's a thing? And then died. Like how blue are we talking? Fucking blue at the end. Like fucking Willy Wonka. Really? Like fucking... She smurfed out and died, dude. But she was also... It's so funny. Because everybody in the documentary still believes that she was God.

Yeah, so they're all like just like yeah, I mean she she drank more than anybody could possibly drink Alcohol is a medicine if you use it right and she was taking all of our pain and sin So she needed it and then there's just videos just clearly a blacked-out drunk lady like I said I want a chicken parm you motherfuckers She did all the sins on and then just had an army of hippies that would fucking wait on her said the blue woman

Didn't they preserve her dead body? Oh, my God. Didn't they preserve her dead body? Yeah, it was in their house. I feel like people will believe anything now. It's kind of crazy. This is a good one. The best is her thing was she had lived through other people before, and she also had a team of galactic, the oracles.

- The oracles, so, but the oracles weren't like who you'd think it was. It wasn't like saints and shit. It was literally, it was like Robin Williams is my top oracle. - What? - Donald Trump, he's still alive, but he's one of the oracles. He communicates to me. It's so good. They think every cloud's a spaceship. They're like, the ships are coming. They're gonna pick us up any day now. - It's kind of fun.

It looked very fun. And then, oh, bro, you're going to love this documentary. I got a guy shows up. So she always has, she's mother God. She always has a father God. So whoever she's fucking at the time, whichever hippie is now the new father God, but the ultimate father God is still coming. Finally, just a dude that does math dude with a ponytail that does math shows up. She's like, this is definitely father God. And all the other hippies are like, fuck, this guy sucks. But he's, uh,

He's as funny as it gets. He's literally doing meth in front of all these people and being like, turn that fucking music off, put this on. He puts on like a hardcore metal and it's like, and all these hippies just have to sit there like, oh man. It's funny how hippies always get cults. They always fall in. They cult up and they, yeah, it's really great.

Damn, dude. That would be kind of a fun exercise to just follow a homeless, like a wildly schizophrenic homeless dude around for the day and be like, bro, you called the ball. What are we doing today? Yeah. Just make a month out of that. What? It's going to be meth. True. And once you're on meth, it's game on. Yeah, true. Then you're father God as well. Then you become father God to another father God. Now you're having gay sex in the tent because you're on meth. And it's cold out. Yeah, fuck.

But the meth will keep you warm. I'd hope so, yeah. You can sprint. Warm up, take some meth, sprint down the street, do suicides until it's not cold. But yeah, I suggest you give that show a watch. It's...

I got to check that out. It's on HBO. Oh, another thing I got into. This is exciting stuff. True Detective season four came out. How is it? Oh, you wanted kick-ass women. You got it. Is it real? Don't worry. You want to kick-ass women. Here we go. Now they've infiltrated True Detective and butt-fucked True Detective. Really? What is True Detective on? True Detective is on HBO. Season one is one of the greatest. Season two.

seasons of television i've never seen it do they show like a sex scene right away they do have a pretty good sex scene and it i will say so the one kick-ass woman's uh i believe a native american because it's in alaska for sure it's in alaska so she's like a inuit yeah or whatever i don't know yeah let's first nations there you go uh straight or les don't say eskimo america don't you dare bro uh

At first glance, you would say clearly a lesbian. Not. What? Not a lesbian. And the whole time I was kind of like, yeah, I don't like her. Then she has a sex scene where she rides a guy and fucking forces him to cream pie her. What? They're throwing forced cream pie into there? Yeah, I was kind of like, that's aggressive. If that was the other way around, that'd be a real problem.

If a girl was like, no, no. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, true. But. Yeah, but no panel of our peers is going to rule against that. You can't. They're going to go like, yeah, it is very stupid. Fuck, it's so fucking hot. It was so hot, dude. Yeah, dude, it's awesome. I was, yeah, I was laying on that couch. I was like, wow.

I didn't know this was going to happen tonight. Damn. What did the guy, was the guy fighting at all? He did try to fight it off and she fucking grabbed him by the throat and made him pie, dude. The forced pie, yeah. I might have to take a break. It was awesome. With the times we're in. We are in some interesting times. Makes sense. I was disappointed to see. Forced pie is kind of wholesome in terms of the shit that's on TV right now. True.

You know, you see the fucking New Year's, the New Year's Eve clock is one of my favorite things right now. So CNN, CNN does the New York, when the ball drops. So it's showing the countdown. It's on CNN. It's like three, two, one, happy new year. And then the camera just cuts to interracial dudes kissing. Yeah.

So 2024. It's so good, dude. And there's a guy, it's just a bunch of TikToks and reels of people watching it like, yeah. What the fuck?

god damn it dude i can't ever make it to new year's i'm like in bed by like 10 already knocked out that's the best i had a rough new year's dudes can't do it this was the first one i stayed up but i didn't even see the ball drop right now i don't even recall the ball dropping i was wandering on mushrooms you were you were father god i will wait till you see father god dude

It's awesome. It's just a guy who's been in and out of jail. He's a beast. Meth head, just rolled up on a cult. The best is how he decides he's the man. He's like, so he goes to this cult. He's out. He's working in the yard. He's raking leaves. And he's like, and I just looked around. I was like, fuck this. He threw the rake down. I was like, I'm the man. And all the hippies were like, oh, fuck. It seems like out there that's all you got to do, right? Yeah.

Yeah, he was the strongest one. What happens if another dude's like, no, I'm the man? Fight to the death. Does that happen? Yeah, there is. The last father god before him, he was kind of like, dude.

dude come on i should be father god please let me continue to fuck you that's not how i picture it going they're just trying to talk it through he tried to talk he cucked out it was sad oh damn he's not meant to be father god he's not true they did find the correct father god he had that good silver pussy too yeah that's him he fucking rules you're gonna get a good look at that guy yeah that guy's in your face on that he literally had to wear an ankle bracelet the whole time did he really yeah

He was on probation or parole? I don't know. When he's doing the interviews during the documentary, he's in a hotel with an ankle bracelet. What? And he has to continuously call his probation place and be like, I'm at this hotel. How do they find these...

people to and then decide they're going to do a documentary i think it comes from well this lady was a big deal because it was it was weird they went into a house where like 15 people were living and they found a blue lady wrapped in christmas lights that they were like she's coming back alive don't touch her did they not expect any of that stuff to happen or something what didn't they not expect they i heard they when they started that they didn't know it was like the blue lady existed

Maybe I'm wrong. Oh, the documentary? I thought it was a surprise. I could be wrong. But someone told me that they were just filming this weird documentary and all of a sudden there was a blue lady. They're like, wait, what the fuck is this? Maybe. Could be wrong. Maybe when they started filming, they were like, this is just a crazy cult. And then at the end, it's like, damn, she did turn blue. Fuck. It's scary when they show her laying in bed. Yeah, dude. You see a blue face. Seeing someone alive laying in bed would scare me. Creepy old lady. Yeah.

It's another funny one, though. It's like an Acapulco. Yeah. It's the yellow man at the end. The guy turns yellow from jaundice. The guy drank himself to death. He just, for real, turned into Homer Simpson. He's laying in bed like, oh.

The worst of all time I've ever seen was the HBO documentary I was telling you to watch where they followed heroin addicts for, it was like 25 years. That was really sad. One of the guys, spoiler alert, one of the guys dies. Dude, they show his body and he was lying dead in a house for 10 days and his body exploded. They swell and then they pop and they just show this exploded body and you're like, what the? I still can't not see it. It's the most fucked up thing. I can't watch shit like that.

I didn't know maybe like sick to most of me. Watch Blue Lady, dude. You're going to like Blue Lady. Blue Lady would be nice. That one I did watch. It's called Blue Lady. I didn't make it to the exploded body. It was too sad.

Love has won. Love has won. More of a love is blind kind of guy. True. Twin Flames was nice too, but I didn't see that whole thing. They talk about Twin Flames in this. Do they really? Yeah. Twin Flames was nice. Like, I'm trying to find my Twin Flame. This cult was on the Twin Flame thing. Twin Flames was bullshit compared to that though. That's the real deal. Lady drinking silver, Method,

Twin Flames is just people who tricked girls into being like, do you want to find true love? And they're like, yes. Yeah. I think they made people like trans. We don't have enough girls. You got to train. You don't have enough guys. You got to trans. They were just poking them up. That's awesome though. Kind of tight. Force trans is sick. Force trans for love. God, I can't wait to have kids. Oh yeah. Who?

Wasn't the guy who did like that one Bitcoin thing a part of that twin flames thing or something? Rob's the guy. Oh, the bankman, Sam Bankman freed. Cause I think they're like saying he's like anti-human, like all those guys are like anti-humanist, like a twin flames are kind of anti-humanist too. Anti-human. What the fuck are you talking about? Put your feet on the bar at the bottom of that stool. The anti-human movement is crazy. Yeah.

What do you mean, like, humans shouldn't exist? They'll stand. I'm going to turn off the mic. Like, people want to eradicate humans. Yeah, there's, like, a hardcore environmentalist that are on that bullshit, bro. Come on, now. That's bullshit.

How is it bullshit? What do you mean? I'm saying that's bullshit. I'm saying. Fucking love it. How are you going to be an anti-human human? Just a bunch of dudes hanging out. How are you going to be an anti-human human, bro? Yeah, you can't. Sorry. Sorry, guys. You lose. Unless you kill yourself. I'm inspired. I'm about to go home and start a podcast. You better, bro. You should. That is what we like to do. We like to inspire that in people. They go, God damn. Anyone can do this, huh? I'll do this. It's so easy. Just talk about shit you watched. Yeah, start the pod. Start it. Dude, everyone should have a podcast. You should do a podcast.

maybe it's like military service who do you have down here that would be who would be your bro

Are you going single? Are you going solo? I don't have any bros. You don't have any bros? No bros, man. My kids are my bros. Why don't you hang out with us? Yeah, come chill. That's why I hit you up, buddy. Do you like playing video games at all? Yeah, sure. The only problem is I have Starlink and it's not best for the game streaming. I was on Starlink. That's Elon Musk. Oh, you're on Starlink. I thought you were talking about Starfield, the video game. I was like, I haven't played Starlink. No, it's internet.

So when you're out in the country and you can't get anything else, you get like satellite internet. And so far that's, it's been probably the best that I've had when you're,

Kind of remote. That's tight. But it comes and goes, right? But no. Well, actually, I feel like they kind of effed us over recently. So my internet just stopped working. And of course, I'm blaming my nine-year-old. I'm like, what'd you do? Because he destroys everything. And it turns out he's like, sorry, I threw the football the other day and it hit the router. Oh, that's not good. But it wasn't even him. So they said, you can't even call support. You got to do it through the app.

So they like hit me up on the app and they're like, yep, you got a bad ethernet cable. We'll send you a new one. And internet wasn't working for like three days. The day the cable gets there, my internet's working. I didn't change the cable. Now my internet's working fine. I haven't changed the cable at all. So I'm like, I think you guys just kind of, I don't know, maybe you need an internet somewhere else. You fucking cut mine. Well, don't they say the more people who get Starlink, the better it'll be or something. I've heard they're like more people get it. More satellites will send. All I know is it.

takes like two months before you actually get it. Is it free? No. It's expensive as shit. It's like, I mean, monthly it's not that bad, but yeah, it's like $500 or whatever it is to get the equipment and everything. Oh, really? It takes forever to get out there. Isn't his whole mission to give free internet to everyone though? Yeah. That's his whole mission. He's like, I'm going to give free internet to everyone. Sign up once this gets big. It's going to be so cheap. Well, it's definitely not fucking free. Okay. So I don't know what that's about. I don't know. But,

But it's the best I can do right now. But I tried to fight somebody on UFC 5 the other day and

My punches are like coming in, not when I'm pressing the button. You like UFC 5? I love it. I just love beating the shit out of people. Hey, we like that too, dude. I like UFC 5. Get ready, dude. I'll punch you up in UFC 5. Come on, bro. Oh, yes, dude. I've only gone against the computer on Legendary. Oh, all right. Well, there could be a new contender in the house. Well, I tried to fight. You might be Father God. You might be the new Father God. I tried to fight online, but the lag is just shit. So I was like, fuck, I can't do it. I got to wait. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a frustrating game to have shitty internet on. But you know, it also probably doesn't help my Starlink's on the fucking ground just in the driveway point up in the sky. I'm renovating my house so we're staying in this little apartment above the fucking garage. You're going through a renovation right now? Yeah. Bro, you're going through, that's fucking brutal. Yeah, it's a shit show right now.

I got five people staying and we only got one bedroom and then the living room kitchen buddy my kids are just staying on the fucking kids are staying on the couch you know the sectional but they love it you know we go to Airbnb a day after we're there they're like can we go home yeah true they all got their own rooms at the Airbnb but they just want to be with their stuff man they only got their bikes and shit

Dude, we did a renovation. My wife was pregnant. We were on an air mattress in an apartment and she, every morning I'd watch her like do a pushup to get off the air mattress. And I was like, God, I'm such a piece of shit. You got such a piece of shit. Well, Lili's got a bed. It's kind of tight. She's fucking...

I do miss my bed. My back hurts anytime I sleep anywhere else. Yeah. I got the Tempur-Pedic joint. How long out are you on the Renault? What's the timeline going? Who fucking knows? It was nine months ago. Oh, God. I don't know, but I've been changing shit. It's partially my fault. I got to have my man cave right, dude. Got to get it right the first time.

True. And it's not exactly cheap to... Dude, that's hard. That's harder than a relationship, dude. Women's environment, especially their house, is like, when you disturb them, it fucks and sucks for everybody, but they can spin out. We've been sucking it up. You know, she's been all right. That's good. It's not too bad. That's good. Our friend was a...

He's a painting contractor, and he was saying he was painting house all the time. He's like, dude, I've witnessed couples just explode during renovations. I can't imagine. It always takes longer than you think. I would never handle it well. Bro, it's tough, man. Because the woman's going to make changes. If you don't handle it well, then you're going to be in trouble. That's what I mean. Because she definitely is not going to handle it well. Well, that's what I'm saying. She's not going to handle it well, and I'm not good at understanding when people are acting irrationally. My wife told me this morning. She's like, hey.

call Corey. He was our project manager. She's like, call Corey and get him to turn the fucking water on. And I was like, I just didn't say anything because they literally told us to turn the water off because our house is exposed. I'm like, I know that we're not going to be able to do this. I'm not even going to ask him, but you're a firewall for like six months. You got to be like,

okay, I hear you on that. And then you go, no, no, no, no, I'll talk to them. I didn't say a word. I'll handle it. I didn't say a word. I just didn't say anything. When I don't know what to say, I just don't say anything. It's usually better that way. Then I just walk off and go put dishes in the damn dishwasher. That's a good move, though. I got to start doing that. I'm like, well, you can't just not say anything. Just turn around and walk out of the room. I've gotten good at if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all.

Now I've become better about it. True. Wish that would have happened while I was in the league, but it's coming a little late. You're fine, dude. You did some cool stuff. Yeah, dude. I like that, though. I'm going to start now just being like listening and going, I hear what you're saying, and then just walking away. No, don't even say that. Just look at the ground, act like you're doing something, then walk off.

I hate thieves. I have a question for you. What's up? Is it true that when you gave the statement, Gabriel Davis cried because he was so pro-science? No. Let me tell you something. The majority of our locker room... Didn't Gabriel Davis cry when you gave that speech? He was probably crying of joy. Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to... Just hoping this gets back to him when he gets back here. Gabe's one of the fucking dudes. Gabe is the bro. Let me tell you something. He's one of my favorite teammates I've ever had.

So first off, when rookies come in, they usually fucking suck, right? Mentally. And a dude came in, learned the offense faster than anybody I've ever seen at one. Two, he knew more than I did about the offense in like three weeks. He already knew it better than I did. Wow. I'm one of those guys that's like, hey, put me at the F and don't move me anywhere. Let me learn one spot and that's it. Gabe learned all the fucking positions. Wow. So dude was dedicated, you know?

Big fan of Dave. And he works hard, so usually rookies are lazy. I think the world's going to get handed to them right when they come in, especially now. It's a little different now than what it was when I first came in. Yeah, what's the shock like coming from college at the NFL? It's got to be fucking nuts. Well, I quit and went home as a rookie at first, so it was pretty big for me. My situation was just like...

I came in undrafted, free agent. And people asked me, they were like, did you think you weren't going to make it? Garrett even asked me when I went in the office and told him. But I was like, no, I actually think I am going to make it. That's the problem. I don't think I want to. But it was just going from Little Elm, which is a small town, to SMU. Nobody cares about football there. And then you're at Dallas. I slip up and say one thing and then they twist your words and make it something else. I said that

They were comparing me to Wes Welker. I was like, Wes Welker's good. I was actually a huge fan of him. Loved his game. Watched it. But I was like, I think I could play a little bit more outside. They took that as Cole Beasley says he's better than Wes Welker. And then after that... And I don't like a lot of attention. I know it's hard to believe after all the shit that's been going down, but I didn't like a lot of attention at the time. And then after that, the media just went fucking bananas. Oh, that sucks. And then I have a...

I already know this, but I have a coach tell me, he's like, hey, every day you can't have one off day. You got to like go above and beyond and make plays or else your ass is fucking gone. I'm like, all right, dude. Like, I know. And then I, after a while I started like waking up and every morning I would like throw up cause I didn't want to do shit. I was like, just. Yeah. It'd be terrifying. So I took my ass home. I was like, I ain't fucking doing this. This isn't healthy. Went home.

Uh, then my dad and my mom were at the house in, uh, Dallas, um, camp was in Oxnard, California. So I flew home. By the time I flew home, they had already driven from like this area to there and they were there, slept. And then my dad like gave me a stern talking for two hours the next morning. I was like, all right, I'll go back. I went, I went back for them. I didn't really go back for myself. That's awesome. Ended up working out. That's awesome. Good thing you went back. Yeah, it worked out. Bullshit.

What a mean way to coach, by the way. I feel like that can't work, being like, if you fuck up, I'm fucking firing you. I was like, dude, I fucking know. You guys didn't want me, really. I didn't get drafted. I just showed up here. I'm better than all these fuckers. Definitely better than the other guy. Who was the guy you mentioned before? Wes Walker's pretty good, too. Oh, no, Wes Walker's solid. Yeah, but then I saw the NFL for what it was. It was like, I'm undrafted. I'm not going to get to play.

And Miles is a great dude, great fucking player when he was healthy. But at the time, he was hobbling around on a hamstring and dealing with it. And I was like, dude, am I going to get to fucking go in there or what? When did you get your chance? Whoever's getting paid the most money is who's in the fucking game. You got to wait your turn. That's the only thing I hate about the NFL. But I got my chance. So it was like I was inactive for like three games. And then after that, they kept telling me, they're like, we're going to find a way to get you in there. So then I would just be...

I would go in and empty on third downs and catch a third down, make a first down, and come right back out the game. And I'd do that for two years before I actually got to start. But it was cool. But that's the hardest fucking way to ever play is, like, you just got to be ready. And then when you go in there – when I get in there, they were throwing me the fucking ball. So I was like, fuck, I can't fuck this up. Here we go. Jesus, bro. So you just sat there the whole time like, fuck, they might put me in any second. And then it's like, yo, we'll call some T. But I was fortunate enough to –

Get lucky enough to make those plays and then got my shot after that. That's sick. Miles Olsen is the coolest fucking dude ever. Yeah. Love that dude. That's awesome. Really? But yeah, that was the deal. How you feel about, how nice does it feel to catch the TD? Catch a touchdown in a game? Yeah. That's pretty fucking wild. Dude, the whole game in general is super addicting. That's why it's, it's like, you know, they, they try to get you prepared for retirement because there's nothing to, to simulate that. Yeah.

And they can prepare you as much as you want to. But once it happens, it's like, damn, where am I going to get that fucking rush from until...

Podcast. Until the coach is fucking yelling at you that you're getting special treatment because you played in the league and you're like, shut that shit up, man. There you go. Then you get the rush back. I'll fucking kill you when you catch. It's not the same, but it's a close second. You just start running routes. Yeah. You just get so fired up. He's downfield. Dude, since I left the Giants, I haven't touched a weight, buddy. Yeah? I haven't touched one. Me neither. Once you left, I was like, I'm done. Oh, buddy. I knew it. It was over. It's a wrap.

Yeah, but now you've got your son. You can coach, dude. Yeah, I'm going to do that. You can just follow his career. I'm going to do that, but I don't want to live through him. No, you're going to. It's going to be so sick living through him. I try to teach him the ways. I'm like, hey, be a nice person outside of the field. When you get on that field, be a fucking asshole. It's hard to tell a kid that. It's good times. Well, if you don't like the way he plays, just don't talk to him.

Yeah. Just give him silent treatment until he's ready to play exactly how the game should be played. You do that, they absolutely will fucking hate it is the problem. I know. It's tough. We had a friend whose dad would just like, we'd play basketball and he'd just be like, that was terrible. And I'd just be sitting in the back. He'd be like, you weren't any good either. I'm like, oh, leave me out of this. This is your guy's thing. I'm chilling, man. Yeah, I got in trouble when...

eighth grade during a loss a coach came into the locker room and was like oh you think you think you're so cool i'm in eighth grade dude you're a 45 year old man that is not yeah you can get lost you can get lost coaching kids

You can get lost into being like, oh, and you're the cool one, huh? Oh, yeah. Well... You quickly go down to their level. It's the same guys, though, who are just kind of like fucking... I don't know. Talking to a therapist is fucking ridiculous. And you go to a bunch of 12-year-olds. You're like, what the fuck's wrong with you? You think just because you're fucking handsome, you can get away with everything? Oh, dude. It's even worse when it's your own. When you're coaching your own, it's way harder because everybody else, you're just like, whatever. But then yours fucks up and you're like, hey, dude, get this fucking shit together. Yeah.

Someone I knew's dad was coaching like summer league basketball and purposely in the playoffs didn't tell three of the worst kids about the playoffs. Awesome. So they didn't show up. Awesome. So we didn't have to play them. Oh, that's awesome. That's a great move. I know. Because otherwise you're going to play those fuckers. It was just like summer league basketball. I was one of the kids that had to be played in summer league. Oh, the how to go in? I was a shitty kid. Oh, that's so funny. I remember just sitting on the bench being like,

please don't fucking put me in oh no i can't play we would i because we were on i was on a good team and we were it was in a it was in harrisburg and we were like the only white team yeah in summer league and it was a hot fucking terrible gym yeah those gyms and i was just sitting there just like oh man if i get in everyone in this whole gym's gonna make fun of me for how bad i am in basketball there'd be like a minute left they'd be like gillis fuck

Go in, air ball, free throw, get checked back out. At least you stuck it out, man. You finished the season. Yeah. That a boy. I finished that season. Did you not play ever again? No, I kept playing after that. That particular summer league was tough, dude. That's cool. The all-black team summer league was scary for basketball. I played a lot of AAU basketball growing up. Basketball was...

You know, they probably like basketball arguably more than football. Really? Yeah. Basketball was my jam. Really? What was your position? Point guard. Point guard. Point guard. PG. PG. Damn, basketball is my favorite sport to play now. It's so fun. It's just tough at 5'8", you know? I hear you, brother. All my cousins are like 6'6". I grew up playing with them. Yeah. 6'6". Lucky guys. They're big boys. 6'3", 6'4", 6'3". Yeah. I was just 6'0".

I would have tried to play Q. You'd have been Calvin Johnson. I'd have been awesome. You'd have been Megatron. I would have tried to play quarterback, bro. Quarterback was awesome. I played quarterback in high school. Did you really? Yeah, there's nothing better than having the ball in your hands every play. True. I never had the ball in my hands once. Yeah, I couldn't play football like that. It was great. I'll be honest, I don't know how long I can do it. My whole family's offensive linemen. My sister...

No, all my uncles, everybody's O-line. So it was always like, you're going to be a lineman. Not that I had a choice, but it was, yeah. And it is funny how much of a completely different sport it is. I actually played O-line my first year of football. Got moved after the first game. To O-line or from O-line? Away from O-line after the first game. Must not have been very good. My nine-year-old is a thousand times more physical than I was. That's good. Yeah, I was always a little bitch.

Made a living in the NFL out of avoiding hits. That's good. I'm not hitting anybody. Who's your favorite wide receiver of all time? Of all time? Randy Moss. Randy Moss? Easily. Nice. AKA Super Freak. That's my guy. Yeah, he's awesome. Straight cash, homie. Straight cash, homie. Play what I want to. He was a Notre Dame guy. He was going to Notre Dame. He was. That would have been nice. I'm a Notre Dame fan.

That would have been very nice. Zach Martin. Zach Martin rules. Let's go. Hell yeah. You're going to be a Cowboy fan before it's over with. I mean, if the Eagles continue to do what they're doing. Oh, you're a bandwagoner, huh? Yeah. Let's go, Bills. Go, Bills. Niners. Let's go. I want a Super Bowl for them so bad, but then I don't at the same time because I'm like, fuck, why couldn't we do it when I was there? True.

true yeah it's like i got mixed feelings about it i want that i want the bros to get a super bowl but then i'm like fuck man you'd be running around why this year why this year true yeah no i text bean as soon as i gotta let go from the giants but he said i'll keep you in mind and i knew what that meant yeah yeah sure bud thanks fuck so what are you doing to keep the fucking flame burning inside you're recently done with the nfl that's pretty recent right

Yeah, I'm still freaking it out. Thanks for reminding me right now. No, I'm saying, what are you doing? You gotta keep it going, bro. It's all in your mind, dude. Yeah, I don't... No, I'm not... It's all in your mind, dude. I know how the NFL works. Just get into Ultimate Frisbee. They decided after COVID I was a P-Squad player only. I've been battling uphill ever since. I see what you're saying. I'm like over it. I'm like, all right, fuck you guys. You're not gonna let me play them out. Yeah, but what if... Okay, yeah, that's bullshit. So... That's fucking nonsense.

Can you just play, though? Is there other places you can play? I'm telling you. When I asked for my release from the Bills, no way in hell I thought no one was going to sign me, right? I got nothing until P-Squad from me begging Brady to get me there. And Brady's like, all right. And then got me there. And then I played like two plays a game for two weeks. I was like, fuck this shit. I'm out. I wanted to play the whole time. I thought Godwin was going to be hurt for a little longer, and he came back quick as fuck next week.

I was like, well, shit, he's getting paid $18 million. I know how this goes. I'm out of here. Yeah, true. Yeah. That's bullshit. Some motherfucking bullshit. Yeah, you could find competitive outlets. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm telling you. Ultimate Frisbee, just come in and torch people. I don't want to do fucking shit like that. Dude, just torch people. Go down there. Don't say a word to anybody. Just get on the field and go fucking nuts on people.

They wouldn't know ultimate frisbee dudes would not know who you were Yo this fucking guy they're snagging shit yeah Secretly do that be like Uncle Drew I don't even know like I want to coach but I don't want to coach at college or NFL because I just I don't want to travel or be home with yeah with the fam coaching college I think is also

That's your entire life. You'll never be home. And coaching the NFL is way worse than playing in it. Those dudes never go home. Yeah. Never. That's fucked up. I refuse. Yeah, that's why they all look like shit. I don't do well with bosses either. Someone telling me what to do all day, I just don't want to do that. I want to be my own boss. So if I'm going to coach, I want to be the head fucking coach. Yeah.

That's why I took over a flag football squad, bro. Nobody's out there telling me what to do. Nobody gives you any shit. Even the parents, they just leave me alone. Most people are like, the parents suck for Little League. I was like, really? Because in flag, they left me the fuck alone and let me do what the fuck I do. I mean, you got the ring, dude. You got the ring on this. What are you going to say? Can you imagine being a dad and be like, actually, I think we should drop this. And be like, oh, wait, you played 11 games.

How many years were you in the NFL? I forget. Yeah, I guess I should listen to you. Highest I would go is high school, bro. That's probably it. High school would be fun. That'd be really fun, especially down here. I don't want to teach anybody, though. I don't want to teach. That's like a rule, you know, unless you go to like a private school. Oh, you usually got to teach. Maybe there's a way around it. I don't know. My dad was a science teacher. Really? Yeah.

Well, he head coached. Then he got the job finally of P.E. That's ideal. P.E. Yeah. Dodgeball. Every day. Yeah. I don't care what you guys do. Just fucking move around, all right? P.E.'s nice. You just got to not be a pig. You just got to force the kids to shower and stay in the room. Yeah. Gym teachers often have sex with girls, which is illegal. Oh, no.

They do. Dude, if you had to pick a class who has sex with the kids most, it is the gym teacher, dude. I mean, their jobs are so physical. Yeah, you're interested. And they got to talk about sex with the kids. Yeah, there's nothing you can do. Raise your hand if you have a pussy. Looks like you're... They were studying pussies.

I noticed all your breasts are coming in nicely. I don't know. What's this podcast gig like, though? What's this? Yeah, how's, you know. It's pretty fun. You get, I mean, what's the money like? Do you get anything off of it somehow? Money's big. How's that work? We get like. Bill.

billion dollars we get so much money yeah we're fucking those P-Squad guys up pretty bad are you still solid money it's not bad no it's great I'm not saying it's not P-Squad's not great but you know no yeah I'll tell you after I love that I love that alright actually I'd give this up comedy money should be good now though P-Squad would be nice P-Squad would be so sick got a big Netflix comedy money's good

Yeah. It's working out. Money is good. I saw you with a Bud Light beanie on. I didn't take you for one of those, but what's going on there? I'm glad you asked. What's going on there? Bud Light rules. Bud Light's back. We're back. How's it back? I'll tell you after. All right. All right. That's enough of this. Actually, I don't even remember if it was Bud Light. Pretty sure I had a Bud Light deal at a point.

In Buffalo. I had a billboard. But I don't even remember if it was Bud Light, dude. My marketing guy just comes to me with shit and I'm like, tell me where to sign, buddy. I bet it was, I think the NFL is Bud Light. Oh, so it probably was Bud Light. It was probably Bud Light. Well, then they, you know, did what they did and they fucking ruined it. No, they didn't ruin it. Are they making a comeback? They didn't ruin it. They're making a comeback. Okay, if they're making it, if they're right and the wrongs, we're all right. They are. They're doing the right thing. All right, okay.

I'll wait for that moment to support them. That was like high-level corporate warfare stuff that a lot of people don't understand. Right now, I'm with Kid Rock. I'm out here with AK. He's just fucking... I got bad news for you. Kid Rock still sips the Bud Lights, dude. Does he? Yeah. He's a closeted Bud Light man. Yeah.

You know what? I've seen pictures of him. He shoots on them like a vampire. He does. He goes back to his room. As long as the people don't know, but you just fucking told them. There we go. There's pictures online of him. Okay. The dam will break. The dam will break. I haven't seen much online. I just recently came back to Twitter, and I've been pretty active just talking my shit. Fuck you, buddy. Fuck you. It's good to get back into Twitter. It's good to get back into shit talking, you know?

Yeah, that's actually really funny. I guess it's not Twitter anymore. It's X. It is X. Yeah, true. Whatever. Yeah. It's Twitter. Whatever it's called. It's the same shit. Yeah, I don't know why they switched the name. They could have kept it as just Twitter. It's Elon's. Elon's now. True. Fucking X. Fucking X. SpaceX. All that shit. Information Town Square. What would we do without a bunch of fucking morons yelling at each other? Yeah, we need the information Town Square. Our democracy needs this fucking thing.

Yeah, I guess the people that say that are all the self-important people on Twitter. Yeah. That are like, we need this. It's like, no, you need this. Don't do it. Write five paragraphs about the Iowa caucus. Nobody agrees with each other on there. It's just a place for people to fucking bitch and argue. Yeah. Now it's getting rowdy. Now you get on Twitter, it's fucking beheadings. It's getting rowdy. I'm here for it. I like seeing people argue.

I like watching people argue for sure. The Aaron Rodgers shit on McAfee was great. He's back though. It was great. He was back the next day. Yeah, he put him back on the next day. I'm going to be honest. I was pissed at first. I texted Aaron and I was like, what the fuck is McAfee doing? Yeah. And then he brought him back. I'm like, all right, he's still cool. The next day. It was the next day. He's still cool. All right.

That's kind of tight. Which I, yeah. You can't stop Tuesdays with Aaron Rodgers Tuesday. Can't do it. You can't. You have to have more. You have to bring Aaron Rodgers right back on the next day. You have to. It was so funny. I'm so happy. And next thing he's like, he's back on. I'm just reading articles. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. And it's like, he's back. I'm like, wow. By the way, y'all got any snacks back there? I'm fucking starving. All we can get some snacks here for sure. All we have is fucking dumb meat.

All you have is meat? You have no snacks? We're trying to do this fucking carnivore diet. Matt's actually doing it. I've obviously fallen several times. Ritz peanut butter crackers?

I can get you some peanut butter crackers. Fire. So good, dude. All right, Cole. Thank you, brother. Yo. Oh, it's over? Yeah, it's over. I was going to snack while we talked. We can do a Patreon. Save for the Patreon. We'll do another one. What the fuck is that? You guys can head off. It's the money maker, bro. That's the money. All right, let's do it. Now you can say whatever you want. It's behind a paywall. I already did. All right.