Ep 476 - Blonkies (feat. Theo Von)
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Hey! There we go. There we go, that's good. We gotta get that rattlesnake venom out. Yeah, that's good. Oh, yeah. Dude, yeah, good to see you guys, man. It's good to see you, dude. Awesome, thank you for doing this. Oh, yeah, thanks for having me, man. Happy to be here today, dude. Hell yeah. Yeah, I was just thinking about something earlier. Like what? I don't know. Uh...

We're on the carnivore diet. We can talk about just eating meat. We can talk about having fucking diarrhea. Oh, I'll tell you. Yeah. Oh, you guys are on it? Yeah. But are y'all dipping also? No. I believe he is. Yeah, I dip. Oh, I think that kind of... It is plant-based. That is... True, but you're not eating it. But I'm spitting it out. Spitting it out. Oh, you're spitting it out. Yeah. Yeah, I've done the carnivore... I had a... One time I had a podcast. I was doing the carnivore diet, and I could barely talk at it. Like...

I didn't have no energy in my body. How many days in was it? I think almost maybe 34 hours in, 39 hours. It's about that. Yeah, it fucks you up. I thought you were about to say 34 days in. I was like, fuck, I have no shot. I would like fall asleep, like listen, like I would talk in a conversation and then as soon as I was done, I would like rest for a little while. Yeah.

Like, it dried. It was very strange. I was shocked at how much energy I didn't have. Yeah, your body's switching a whole different, your brain's using a whole different fuel source. Yeah. Which is like, I like it. Once you get out of that weird period of like, shitting your pants and stuff, like, once you stop shitting your pants. I haven't broken through. Really? Still in the full shit your pants phase. Dude, I'm taking dumps I forgot even existed right now. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'm like prehistoric. Yeah. It's like just small. Yeah, I'm not going to get detailed. Yeah, something like a kid would stop and point at it. Yes, dude. I think we dumped today that I was like, it was like deja vu. It's deer shits, dude. You literally dropped like a little pile of a little bit of shit. Sucks. Rogan lied, dude. He was fully like, he was like, I'm on the carnivore diet. I was like, how are your dumps? He's like, perfectly normal. He was fibbing. It's only eight days, though.

So I got past like the watery explosive diarrhea, but I still have to wipe my ass like a baby's ass. I have to wipe my whole ass after eating a Tom Ford on the carnivore diet. You don't lay on your back though, huh? I wish I could. Get a little baby powder. I wish I could. I wipe my ass on this carnivore diet. It's just like...

Man, it's disgusting. It's no good. It gets on me. It gets on me. I'd like it to not get on me, but it's gotten on me. I'm glad you said it. It's gotten on me. It's gotten on me every time I took a shit, dude. I hate it when it gets on you. Shit is just so dangerous, you know? It's crazy how dangerous it is. Yeah, it'll fuck you up. Dog shit. There's dog shit everywhere now. Dog shit's nothing, dude. Really? Yeah, you can throw... I mean, yeah. Well, I grew up in an area, I think they had a lot of like...

that white dog shit or something. I think before we moved, there were a lot of dogs that lived there for like a decade or something and then all like kind of passed away or something. And so there was a lot of that white, the prehistoric kind of looking stuff. You know? That is crazy shit turns white.

Our friend, when I was little, when we were growing up, this one kid, he was like a bad kid from a bad family. And he shit behind a bush outside. So we'd all go like every day. We'd be like, yo, let's go see this guy's shit. And then one day it turned white and we're all just like, what the fuck? Oh my God, this guy's from the Bible. Yeah, dude. We had a guy. I've talked about this before, but we had a guy who

He was kind of this aggressive guy. He would defecate in his yard and he would make me bury it. You were the undertaker. Huh? You were the undertaker. Yeah, basically, I guess. I mean, I was, yeah. But you had to be friends with him, dude. And he died years later. He drove a bass boat into an embankment in the middle of the night. Yeah, it was heartbreaking. I saw his sister not long ago at a crafts store.

But, yeah, but I remember that like it was fucking God, I have to walk down there every day with my little pail and shovel. And but he only let people that he liked to do it. No, he just I think my brother had went to summer camp or something. And so I had to like suddenly I was like the closest in age to this guy in our in our street. And he was just an aggressive dude. And he just he would fucking shit and look at you and you knew you had to do something for him.

And it was bury it. What do you think was driving that? If you had to like now, like years later, what do you think was like, what's like the impulse and what are you getting out of someone's? I mean, obviously the total fucking servitude, I guess it's like a power trip. It's a bury my dumps. Yeah. I don't know at that time. I don't know. I just think it was some maybe camaraderie. I don't know. Like,

communication skills were off for him probably. I don't know. I've tried to think about it, but I haven't, but I don't have a ton of memories about it. I just remember feeling like I was, I wanted this kid to think I was cool. True. You know, and I think he, and he just kept using that against me. We had some weirdos that lived next to us that would make me and my friend play torture with them.

what'd you do they would just beat the out of us yeah they were like seven years older than us yeah they come over this is a fun game they just us up yeah yeah that's awesome my friend quit i was like what the dude you can't yeah this is fun come on get towards yeah i thought it was fun yeah we said we used to do i think the parents found out we're like this is up about what was like what was it like indian burns like titty twist yeah damn that's actually kind of it's kind of

It's kind of bossy. It was weird, yeah. They did have a beta fish in their house, and they showed us one of those fighting fish. Yeah. That was pretty cool. Yeah. The fight takes forever, though. Yeah, they didn't fight once in front of us. It's bullshit. Me and my friend bought them. We're like, whoever wins buys dinner or whatever. And they took... The fight was like five days. Eventually, we were like... I was like, mine's dead. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know who won this. These fish are just dead now. How do you tell the difference? Different colors. Oh, nice. Would you have a dead fish, you're saying? No, we had betta fish. Me and my friend bought betta fish from a pet store and put them together like, let's watch these things fight. Dude, that is definitely something gay dudes do. No, no. Betta fish? Straight into hell, dude. Gay dudes keep them separate. Let's watch our fish just bang into each other.

What the fuck, dude? Yeah, right. It's the most alpha shit you could do. Fight animals. I'm with him on this, dude. You could fight mammals. Animal fighting? Two kids watching their little fish bang into each other, dude. Get out of here. It was that or we were going to do it. Yeah. Yeah, then you guys may end up doing it. We did the whole time. We took our clothes off and wrestled the whole time our fish were out. Oh, yeah. Then that's way straighter. Yeah. It was Greco. Greco.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight. Did you ever hurt animals when you were little? No, we didn't have anything like that. We would have people... I just actually went to my old apartment the other day that I grew up in during the holidays, stopped over there, and the people... People were always stealing our balcony, so people would steal the wood.

where our balcony was like and uh they would just take the wood from the actual balcony yeah they would take the wood and go use it to do shit or whatever so you'd always have to be way fucking careful like if you were upstairs and you wanted to go outside of the apartment you know cause like literally the wood would be missing man I'll send you guys a picture of it and uh yeah and then you'd see it somebody would have built their kids something for Christmas or you know built like uh some you know used it on their fence or some shit and you're like that's our fucking balcony you know

Just a spindle rocking horse. Yeah, but it's pretty crazy. I went back. Yeah, still same shit happening around the neighborhood. But yeah, I'm trying to think of something about animals. Yeah, we didn't have any pets. No one was hurting animals when you were a kid? The mayor squeezed a frog, killed it. Yeah, dude. It was in the bag already. I just picked up the bag. Someone bagged the frog. He stumbled upon someone's pet frog and squeezed it and then left it.

Yeah, we used to catch catfish and put fireworks in their gills and just... Oh, dang, really? I'm trying to think if I ever did any... No, we didn't do nothing real crazy like that, dude. We didn't do any... Just turds. Oh, I seen a guy throw a grenade one time, dude. That's pretty tight. I've seen a senior citizen hum a grenade into a group of... Not calves. What are old cows called? Older calves. Heifers. Heifers. Yeah, heifers, bro. And...

Yeah, that's a fucking... That had to be pretty... Yeah. It was unreal. And people were like, no way this dude's gonna do it. Then he took his shirt off. Bro, when an old dude takes his shirt off, he's gonna throw a grenade.

Like people were like, no way, this guy's got a grenade in his truck and somebody's like yelling, you queer. And because he's just like he got pissed, you know, and then he he had a grenade and he fucking threw that bitch, dude. Damn. Yeah, it was unprecedented, man. I didn't like hurting animals. We shot we would go out and shoot animals with our BB guns. Yeah, I'd feel terrible every single time. Yeah. Yeah, I did. I didn't I didn't get that till later. Then when I was when I'm older now. Yeah, I'm like, that's not nice. But yeah.

There was nothing. We had a bull living near our house. We'd sit in these crab apple trees and just, we'd have slingshots and take crab apples and just fucking sling this thing with crab apples. And it just, it got like unruly. It had to get removed. Oh, wow. They had no idea why this bull's whole fucking, you know, his piss. His mindset got all fucked up. It was like, we had like an angry fucked up bull because it was getting stung by crab apples for like 24 hours. It just didn't stop. Oh, wow. It's messed up. Yeah, it's just sad to think sometimes of all the stuff that happens. Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of bad stuff going on. Yeah, I think I get stuck with those thoughts a lot, I think. What's the worst thing you think is happening right now? If you had to pick one. I mean, like, the rest are just, like, whatever. But, like, the one worst thing. Yeah. Probably, I don't know, the Golden Globes were on. Did you watch any of it? I just saw, I watched maybe, like, 30 minutes. I didn't watch it. I just wanted to go back and see, like, because a lot of people were ripping on, or not ripping on Joe Cole, but they were.

They got Joe Coy to do the opening, right? And so, yeah, people were just... I don't know if they were ripping. It just seemed like... The whole thing seemed kind of disorganized. Yeah. Is what I thought. They need Gervais. Those are the best. He said no. You won one for his album and he didn't show up. Damn. But he was up against people I didn't even know that had comedy albums on them. Schumer, Silver... Really? Yeah. That's just... You weren't up? No. No.

Netflix doesn't put out the only ones they offer up because I guess studios just decide and Netflix only puts out the ones they they licensed my special they didn't put any of the licensed specials up for nomination they just put out why does that mean it's like you don't you're not worth of I have no idea but it just goes to say it's like that's what blew my mind I was like what yeah

This isn't like, so wait, so you're only up if you like work for the studios or if you work for a, like, it's just like, I have no idea. I don't know. It's just like, why your shit's not even re it just made me, I think, I don't know if that made me mad or whatever, but it just was like, what are, what are we, what are we even doing? Like, it just seemed like fictional then it's like, Oh, we've all just been living in a fictional world where this, where it seemed like maybe the awards meant anything or something.

I don't know, man. But yeah, I think you should have won. Oh, thanks, dude. I appreciate it. I don't... Yeah. Get a recount. I should demand a recount. Demand a recount. I should stop the steal. You should. You should. That's bullshit, though. It is kind of bullshit. They should allow YouTube specials. You watch it and you're like, what even is... It's fucking... The whole thing, I mean, it looks just fake. Or nobody really cares anymore that much. Oh, yeah. I think nobody cares anymore. Yeah. I think it seemed crazy. Yeah, I just... Part of me was like, I didn't get to ask Joe Quay...

I guess they paid him a good amount. I don't know. It almost seems like they set the comedian up to be the scapegoat, though, because it's like they know it's a trash show. They know nobody cares, I feel like, anyway. Yeah. I mean, you can't... Nobody could name probably even 13 good movies from this year. No. Or even seven or eight. No. Yeah, I bet they could name seven or eight, maybe. Oppenheimer and Barbie. That's it. I can't think of a single one. Did any other movie come out? Marcelo Shoes On. Marcelo Shoes On? What? Right.

Marcel the shell with shoes on. That was pretty good. Was it good? Yeah. What is that? I haven't seen it. What is that about? Huh? It's about a snail with shoes on. Yeah. He has to find his family. Marcel. My niece wants me to watch it, but I have a job. It's so good. I'm going to try to get to it, though. I got to check it out. But yeah. But anyway, I think, yeah, it just seemed maybe fictional. I don't know. Yeah. This year just seemed like... But I...

It seemed like they're setting the host. They almost hire the host just so they'll have somebody to be like, because how could you even do that? Well, I wonder, like, how would you even call all pedophiles? Yeah. Yeah. Gavis just made fun of everybody. Yeah. Gaffigan called him pedophiles. Did he? Did he really? Yeah. You see that clip? No. Oh, it is. Gaffigan called people pedophiles. Gaffigan.

He's fucking back, bro. He's back. He's fucking on the bacon. I love Gaffigan. Dude, he had fucking seven hot pockets and fucking went out there. When was this? And showed his soft white dick to those people. How did they not have Cat Williams host the Golden Globes? That's bullshit. Let him go. Five hour monologue to start the show. That would be his reign in truth down. Oh, Gaffigan, he goes, I can't believe I'm here. He's like, I'm from Indiana.

You know, not a pedophile. Did you say that? Damn, dude. That's going to be it. The line's drawn now between people who are just being like, yeah, I'm not a pedophile versus people who are like, hey, you know, don't say that. That makes me uncomfortable. You're either not a pedophile or you're a pedophile now. It's just wild. It sucks, dude. Well, Hollywood just doesn't have any fucking balls. That's the saddest thing about it. Yeah. It's like you don't have any fucking balls. You're not making anything with any balls on it.

You know? I wish they would. Like, they don't. That's what it seems like to me. Also, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. No, you're right. No, we don't either. It's fine. You're totally right. Okay. I heard there was. I'm just making sure we're all still dumb. Yeah, we are. Okay, good. I've gotten so dumb. Dumb, man. It's crazy. Just watching Jeopardy. I'm not even close, dude. I used to have it. Did you? Or at least the confidence to think I had it. You know? Like, if they'd answer a question, I'd be like, I was right there.

Now I just stare at the screen. True. Yeah, a lot of Jeopardy watchers are doing that. That's an absolute time suck. I got a cousin that's pretty fat, I guess, and my uncle would always be like, don't get it wrong or you're fat. That's what he would say to me. Well, I got it wrong. It's so sad, I remember. Don't get it wrong or you're fat. It's very funny. That kind of shit makes me sad, but that kid is pretty smart. It helps. I don't know. I bet it's interesting.

Just crushing quizzos now. Which is a game plan. At least you have a game plan with your child. True, yeah. But yeah, if they had Cat, we could even imagine. First of all, they only have like three black people at the Golden Globes, dude, right? And then, yeah, last year they hired him. Who's the guy, the comedian they did last year? Gerard. Gerard, yeah.

And I don't even remember what, I don't know. He just kind of told a story about being black kind of. And then. Yeah. He made everyone uncomfortable. Yeah. He just went up there and was like, there's no black people here. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, y'all basically had to pay a black guy to show up. Right. Yeah. True. True. We might be pedophiles, but we're not racist. Um,

So yeah, I kind of felt like they maybe said, like, if you're the host, you know, I think you're going to be set up to be the fall guy. That's what I think. Yeah. I'm trying to figure out what I'm thinking about. No, he got. Did he get in trouble for? I don't know if he got in trouble for necessarily, but he said something that pissed off Taylor Swift. That was that seemed to be kind of a thing. Carmichael? No, no, no, not Carmichael. Fucking coy.

Apparently that was a big thing Apparently he went for her Yeah he had a It seemed like a joke that a writer had written That wasn't What was the joke? It was just like you'll see less shots of her on the Golden Globes Than you will at a Chiefs game

right so just i thought it was just a what it just it's nothing oh so it's a total media invention they try to be like pissed she was so pissed you won't believe what he said they're stirring up the swifties they are but it's almost like that's the whole thing now it's just like let's just make this moment like we're just gonna make this moment we're gonna hire a comedian he's good they're gonna be the fall guy because there's really no way to win true unless you just call everybody pedophiles that's what people want right now

It's really what people want. People want these pedophiles. The list just came out publicly. Copperfield, bro. David Copperfield. I was waiting for prominent politicians like David Copperfield's a pedophile. David Copperfield. He fucking... Yeah, there's like fictional characters like Andy Dufresne on the list. I feel kind of bad for those actors and the pedophiles. Yeah? This was the one list that ever got leaked. Do you know how many other...

These types of rings are going on. The Diddy Parties are next, dude. Diddy Parties are good. People keep talking about Diddy Parties. Oh, dude. Fucking Cat Williams, the dark narc, baby. Cat is free cat, baby. That's it, baby. I mean, if he didn't expose Black Hollywood, I was coming next. Y'all ain't spaying or neutering anybody in this motherfucking sun.

Free cat, baby. That's where I'm at with it, dude. I'll vote cat president right now, bro. Ooh. That's what we need, dude. We could use it. We need a real fucking brother in there, bro. Or sister. Yeah, true. Don't leave that out. But cat. Cat, the interview was...

It was fun to watch, but then he would make these claims that were just like... Sub 4-3-40. Sub 4-3. That got me. 3,000 books a year. 3,000 books a year. That's 100 a week. It's crazy. That's like medical. He must be including medical pamphlets, dude. There's no way. 3,000 books a year. That's how much he said he could read? That's how much he said he was reading a year. He said from age 7 to 12 or something, he read 3,000 books a year. So what you're saying is they offer you $15 million to go to Jacksonville State?

What college are you talking about? I think it was. Remember that kid in that video? Yeah, that was so good. Yeah, I got a bunch of scholarships. I think it was near Jacksonville. And the guy's like, whoa. They offer you $15 million. I said, yeah. I said, no. Wait, what? What does this mean? Yeah, that line was nice. The sub 4-3-40 was, I think that was the one thing Shea Shea could fucking be like,

I know you didn't do that. Yeah, yeah. You're not faster than Tyreek Hill. That's the craziest claim. Let's check in with this dark oyster over here. LaMare, what do you think about what Kat said? What does the black community think? I think it's kind of like they kind of agree.

Yeah, I think we're in agreement with Cat. You're in agreement with Cat. I think a lot, except for the 340, but like the, you know. The 430? Yeah. But he was talking a lot of junk, and then, yeah, I think his junk is being responded to nicely. You know who else got a good response out of that? Gary Owen.

Gary Owens, he got real one cred now. He kind of got big up during the whole thing. So did the fucking blue-collar comedy tour. They did? They got big up that whole time. They did? Yeah. Cat was like, those are the guys I like. Let's enemy my enemy, though, too. Yeah, true. Because they were enemies of the Steve Harvey squad. Kings and blue-collar were serious enemies. Yeah. Yeah, that was wild, dude. I mean, because there's always like a... I feel like, do you see a lot of black...

Folks go... You don't see a lot of black men go in like that, huh? No. Not that hard, yeah. Also, in comedy, you don't really... Comics, they don't really go in on other comics, really, because everybody knows, I think, that it's an interesting... We're all weird people. Maybe. Yeah. Does that make any sense or no? Well, the first part does. You really don't see...

But also, I feel like black comics, black people in general, have a lot more respect for other people's business, too. Yeah. So you can't be putting up people's business like that. Fucking up somebody's money. Yeah. Unless you have receipts, too. So he did have receipts. But he was all in their business, which is frowned upon. Cat came in, though. It's true. I agree. It was exciting. It was definitely interesting to hear. I love Cat Williams. Dude, I saw Cat Williams, right? Yeah.

drive by the comedy store one time on a bike, on a bicycle. And it was one of those ones with the wheat where the lights are in the wheel. That's tight. In the wheels. That's tight. 100%, dude. Like 30 people at the same time on the porch were like, is that fucking Cat Williams? And he just, and he was standing up. He's like, I guess like,

Some people can stand up on it. You know when you're like a kid or whatever, you can stand up on a bike and hold on the, you know, and your body works out that way, right? So he can still do it, right? And so he was just looking over at everybody, dude, just cruising right down Sunset. Did he ever do the Storch? What are you like? I never saw him in there. I think sometimes he, oh, I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe I said seen him over there, but yeah, dude, I got a statue at a target one time. They were advertising it as a cat Williams and it was like a, it's like a black nutcracker from Christmas. Damn. And yeah, I got it. And I put it on my story and cat shared it. Really? Yeah. And it was like a highlight of my whole year. Yeah. That's awesome. Cause dude, there's really not anybody kind of, uh, I feel like cats like just, uh, he seemed really unique. I think.

Yeah. I mean, he made a big comeback this year. I mean, I guess he was doing well. I don't know. I haven't been following his stuff. I know he's funny. Everyone thought he was funny.

I don't know many anti-Kat Williams people who are like, he's not funny. He's funny. Yeah. Yeah. And now he's the funniest. Everyone agrees he's the funniest. Let's go on Shea Shea and just spaz, which is the best thing in the world. I was thinking, too, you could do Club Shane Shane. Club Shane Shane? Club Shane Shane, yeah. Have a couple drinks, sit down. Yeah. And you got to put some lipstick on, too. Why? Be the proprietor. You got to go, I'm the proprietor.

Fucked up. Yeah, why not? Nah, every white man in Hollywood has to put on lipstick and wear a dress. True, dude. I'm not doing that shit. Dude, is it in your contract? Every white man has to put on lipstick. I'm not doing it. Who do you have in your contract has to wear a dress if you're in the movie with him? This is crazy, though. Like, is that a real... Tommy Pope. Who does? Tommy Pope has to wear a dress. Yeah. I have it in my contract. You know, there's not a lot of trans male...

comedians really is there they used to be more cross-dressing didn't there yeah I feel like maybe yeah dude there used to be more cross-dressing yeah nobody's fucking thinking about that true that's because they used to be like there's no way I would ever actually do this well they also they legalized it yeah now if you wear a dress everyone's like damn that guy definitely wants to wear a dress yeah it's not funny anymore now seriously it used to be funny if I was wearing a dress right now people would be like that's funny hilarious peak of comedy if I was wearing a dress right now people would be upset yeah

I don't think I would like having a dress on. I wouldn't like my genitals just being open under a little curtain. You gotta cross your legs. Huh? You gotta cross your legs, though. Like a lady. Yeah, and I don't want to do all of that. That's why ladies cross their legs so we can't see their dicks. Really? Bro, that's gonna be our national anthem in this country in six more years.

Dude that's one thing we needed We gotta bring back The national anthem bro True Yeah Cause it was one point It is long though I was just When you gotta Anytime I go to a sporting event You gotta stand there The whole fucking time Unless there's a flyover Or something cool True we need some airplanes It does kinda suck Like I went to the Sixers game Like two weeks ago

Standing for the national anthem does blow. I get it. I did sit for the Canadian. I'm not standing for that. Beast. Beast. Bizzle's Canadian. My bad, Bizzle.

No, I'm not going to stand for another country. Even over there, they call it the let's go get a snack song. So I don't think even they respect it that much. No other countries get pumped on their anthem. It's like us and Middle Eastern countries. It really is. South American countries get pumped on it too. True. Every once in a while, you see them hit Nazi salutes. Yeah. Other countries still salute like weird. Really? Yeah. They'll hit it. Remember when, what's his name? Who's the Cuban fighter in the UFC? Yeah.

No. No, cute it. Yoel hit a fucking goose step fucking salute after he knocked the guy out. It's just a Cuban march. Was he just feeling himself? Why did he do it? Because he's just pumped. He knocked the guy out and then he did a nice Cuban march. It was just hard goose stepping. What? That's what he did. Why'd he do it? Other countries would toss it up. True, yeah. We shouldn't just say, you know, we shouldn't just be like... I think there's a video of like Iran. What? Timestamp that?

Why? I didn't do anything. Yeah, you kept your hand in the specter. This is just a Roman salute. Yeah. This is just a Roman salute. My one-year-old and we march. I'll pretend we're marching. She goose steps. And it's the fucking funny. Dude, it's so funny watching it. Tie-stepping down the sidelines. Neon Dion goose stepped every time he scored a touchdown. Did he really? Yeah, he was fucking. It is a celebration. It is. Yeah, and they've ruined a lot of good. They've ruined an ancient Hindu symbol for peace. That was bullshit.

I think there's a good video of the German national soccer team. They're playing in Iran, and Iranians are tossing it up. Iranians love Hitler. The whole stadium. Yeah. And all the German players are like... Well, they're the Aryans. Yeah, Iran claims to be the real... Iran claims to be the true Aryans. And so what they're saying, they're the true... What are you talking about? Like, what are you saying when you say something? Like, we never even said something. So in the Aryan race, a lot of Hitler's propaganda had to do with, like, we are the true Aryans.

Oh, okay. And they claimed, I think, I don't know when this was, in the late 1800s maybe. I think Caucus Mountains is like Iran. They should do Aryan off then. And they figured out that the Indo-Aryan, like the languages were all similar in these weird parts of like the English speaking countries in the Middle Eastern. So they had this thing that was like, they had a theory that the Aryans migrated from, Hitler thought they came from the West. What do you mean, flew in? No, walked. Horses pretty much. I think they were the first chariots here as well. They had the chariots going.

So they migrated a long time ago and conquered the Indus Valley. But then the people in the Middle East were like, no, no, no. We were already here and you guys came and we were like, what's up? And we taught you all the Aryan ways. So they're having a clash over who was truly Aryan. Seems like a waste of time. It's a huge waste of time. It's a big waste of time. A lot of people die because of it. It's like you're trying to put your hand on the top of the bat like you keep going. And it's almost unprovable.

Because when Jake Gyllenhaal... Remember Jake Gyllenhaal was in that movie, Egypt or whatever the fuck it was called? They thought people in Iran were going to be pissed because they were like, people in Iran don't look like that. And all the Iranians were like, yeah, we do. We look just like Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah, that's exactly what we look like. We look just like Jake Gyllenhaal. It was the opposite thing. They were like, shut the fuck up. We look like that. Yeah. So... Yeah, I think...

I don't know. I don't have anything to say. It's all right. No, no, no. I thought I did, man. We're getting into the race. It's a niche topic. It is a weird thing. They should have an Aryan off then. They should have whatever, whoever is the champion. Aryan Olympics, just golf. Yeah, looking for stuff. Bowling.

Looking for stuff so you can find it. A little scavenger hunt. Telling people to quiet down. True. Like a polite heated exchange in a grocery store. Polite heated exchange. Polite heated exchange would be nice. That's fucking intense. Both keep their cool so you can keep their cool the longest. Well, no, you go first if you're in such a hurry. I'm actually not in a rush. You. By all means. Yeah, we definitely got to refine the Olympics it feels like. Yeah. For sure.

Flag football is going to be fun. That's coming out in the Olympics? I think so. Wow, that's tight. I don't know. Is it this year in Paris? In Paris, we're going to be fucking hitting them with Tyreek Hill and Cat Williams. Cat Williams is going to blow by those defenders. They're going to play it? I think they're going to play flag football or seven-on-seven flag football. Wow. In America, we're going to, yeah. Who are we sending? They should do gay fist fighting as well. Gay fist fighting would be tight. That would be awesome. Yeah, they had a group that used to tour the country that would come to...

from baton rouge back in the day and you'd pay and it was gay men fighting and fist fighting what and you pay up five bucks over there get you a beer and get you some fights gay fights people would go yeah and it was their company they did it it was yeah true you were it wasn't like you know it was supporting gay activism you know and and yeah i've yeah there was a lot of

What happened to that? Why did it stop? It seems like a fucking smashing success. I agree. I don't know why. That's crazy. I think they could have ran out of fight. I think when you're traveling like that and you have to fight and then...

Yeah. And then you probably a lot of the men you're traveling with also want to date you or whatever. That's what they say. They're probably exhausting. Yeah. Burning the candle at both ends really. It just feels like it would just be a lot. And you're having like chem sex afterwards. Or just that you're, you know, having even argue with somebody in a van afterwards. True. Oh, those rides. They must have been such bitches the whole drive. It's like, it's hot in here.

I said it's hot. And some guy's like, that's me. Yeah. Pull over. Get out of the car. Let's was there a belt? Was there like a belt or was just like backyard? Sasha. True. I can't remember if there was a belt, but there was. And they called it F.A.G. Fist fights. Was it at least an acronym or was like F.A.G.? I'm not sure. Yeah.

I don't remember. The fighters are good. Yeah, I was just, I was a drinking, you know. For sure, yeah. We would, you know, usually use fake ID to get in there. Nice. But I remember it as clear as day. I don't know why they don't have it anymore. It might just be the slap league now. It might just be the Dana White slap league. Yeah. Yeah, but it was definitely pretty cool. It's fucking awesome. A lot of cool shit's gone by the wayside, I guess. You know? Yeah, definitely. Wrestling, WWF.

it's going by the wayside it's over now huh well it's not it used to be wild dude we were just laughing about all the storylines yeah some guy one of the storylines is so funny is big show's dad died and then whoever his enemy was at the time showed up to the funeral put chains around the coffin

and drove off with it. And Big Joe was like, no, not my father. He chased after it. It was crazy. Sorry, like. It was the big boss man. It was the big boss man who did it. Big boss man who put chains around his dad's coffin. Why'd he do that? And then Big Joe tried to jump on the coffin and while the truck was driving away with it, he fell off. Oh.

it was yeah they did it was crazy dude he'd be like yeah he'd have to spin in that stick and he'd walk in i didn't know he was evil though it was evil he even had like a he had a match uh it was like a dog match without snow where he had like a bunch of nice dogs around the ring but they were supposed to be like ferocious he had dogs yeah he would also sometimes he would be like the parking attendant or something like make sure your vehicle's registered you know oh he would say like that in his like

You know, he'd be like, I'll put a boot on your wife's pussy. You know, stuff like that. You're like, what? Yeah. You're six years old. You're like, damn. You're like, what is going on? The big boss man was a cop. Yeah. And he was just, he stole people's dead dads and shit. Yeah. Stealing someone's dead dad at a funeral is the meanest thing I've ever seen. That's,

That's like medieval That's like evil Why do you think people are so mad at cops right now? It's a big boss They've been doing it the whole time Yeah They shut up to all the funerals That's so gangster You steal somebody's dead damn Especially the big show He's like 10 feet tall crying and he's like Steal his fucking dead He's like no dad Jump on the jump on the casket and falls off and rolls

We were talking about other wrestling. And then somebody plays that song, jump on it, jump on it, in the background. That's the worst song. It ruins everything kind of. Especially, yeah, it would piss me off. We were talking about Gene Snitsky with James. Oh, that's a storyline. Who's Gene Snitsky? Snitsky. I saw him in a Phillies game. He was wearing a Snitsky customized Phillies jersey. I didn't do it. And I said it wasn't my fault to him, and he turned around and was like, what's up? He Punnett Cane's baby. Yeah.

Hold on. Because now I remember. So Cain got, who was it? Lita? Lita, yeah. All right. Cain got Lita. He raped Lita. What? Got her pregnant. So then they were like, you have to marry Cain. Those are the rules. If you get pregnant from a rape, you have to marry the rapist. So they forced her to marry Cain. And where was this? Michigan State? Michigan State.

No, this is WWF. WWF, sorry. Yeah, this was the fucking gymnastics coach. Oh, I think I've seen this. This is Larry Nassar Kane, the big red machine. Not Foxcatcher, huh?

No, not Fox. This is Kane. But then. Okay. You're forgetting it. What? That's a good. Yeah. So Kane married Lita because he raped her, got her pregnant, raped her and got her pregnant. Greek mythology. This is what WWF used to be.

Bro, this shit is cat, bro. Yeah. What the fuck? We were in like fifth grade. I don't remember any of this. And then Snitsky came out with the baby. It was a fake toy baby. They were pretending it was the product of Kane's rape. And then he punted it into the crowd. No.

Into the crowd? Yeah. Someone still has that. Dude, someone still has that baby. Somebody has that in a glass box in their house. Like, this here I got. I remember watching it. I thought it was a real baby. I was like, no. No. What? Just when you think, hey, nobody's thinking that's a real baby. No, every kid in there. Every kid in that room. Dude.

Wrestling would get you fired. Like, Monday Night Raw would get you juiced up. Yeah. And then be like, all right, get to bed. Oh, I remember. Impossible. Impossible to go to sleep. Find your little brother in his tombstone. Especially with the credits. The credits, when they cut off like a rumble in the ring. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. At the end of the match, Stone Cold's just fucking everybody up and then it goes dark. Yeah, because, yeah, like the time had gone over or whatever. Yeah, it's true. You have to go to bed. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, you'd be so jazzed up. You're like, I can't possibly go to sleep.

Dude, I remember I went to when The Rock came back. I went to one professional wrestling thing. It was when The Rock came back. Must have been nuts. It was like March, was it night seven? I don't remember when it was. The mayor would get it. When did The Rock return? When? 2014? 2012. 2012. And I remember looking over and there was a Mexican father and son. It was a man, probably 38, 38.

And a kid, probably nine, right? Or six. Yeah. Perfect. And they were the same height. And they were both bawling, crying, dude. At the rock. Like, bawling, fucking crying together. At the rock. Holding hands, you know? At the rock. That's crazy. Yeah.

And it was just, I just realized, like, wow, this is just still such a powerful thing, you know, because it was that powerful for me when I was a kid, man. Yeah. It would be nice to have kids. A son, get your son pumped up. You get to get back into wrestling. Yeah, that'd be awesome. That'd be fun, dude. We would make a chart of all of the wrestling people that they had, and they all had to fight each other on the chart, and you'd, like, see who won, and it would take months to find out who the champion was, and it was just you beating up something in your room or different things in your room. Yeah.

Yeah, my nephew got my wrestling figures. Yeah, I had to wrestle Buddy Pillows. He brought them out. I was so jealous. I had a ring. I had all the figures. Oh, yeah. I saw him break them out when I was back home. Or fig us. We call them tit. Yeah.

I wanted to get in there. There are some figures. There are a couple figures. I mean, I don't... I got... I had D-Lo and Farouk. Oh, you did? So there are some figures. Well... I don't know what you're talking about, sir. You know what you're talking about. Don't reverse this. Hey. Don't hit me with the reverse. What's going on here, dude?

Yeah, what else is going on? Yeah, what's in the news, man? What are you thinking about? Well, that was just the craziest thing. I guess that you weren't nominated for the comedy thing. Oh, that's bullshit. I thought that was fucking pretty lame. So who was it again? Who was nominated on it? Okay. Amy Schumer. I think that's it. Yeah, the Titans of Industry. Oh, Trevor Noah. Trevor Noah. Perfect. Yeah.

Yeah, that's it. That's pretty good. What the hell are you talking about? That's it. I don't have to. I'm fine. Yeah, they're the best. Who needs a Golden Globe, dude? We got the Patreon. Joe. Oh, yeah, you got that beautiful. That's a Patreon award. Is it really? Yeah.

No way, because y'all have the best Patreon? Number one Patreon award they gave us that. You're lying. Yeah. No way can I see it? Yeah, man. It's broken already. You can fucking smash it. Wow. Don't smash it. It came broken. It came broken. Dude, that's a real thing? Yeah. Oh, congrats, man. They gave us the gay man's nutsack award. Oh my God, huh? That side's a face, but this side's actually, if you hold it up, that is just...

A dong. A gay ball sack. Oh, yeah. It looks like one of those balls on that special show, like my 70-pound nut or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here comes me with my nut, you know? And some guy will put a little curtain in front of him and he'll be like, da-da, and he'll pull the curtain, but it's still just his nut there, you know? And all the kids will pay a quarter. Yeah.

That's awesome, man. So how did you even get nominated? They just knew you guys were doing it. We just had, I think, just the highest patron. I don't know who did it. Wait, so you guys are rich then. Yeah. Oh, damn. This is what it gets. Try to hide it. Yeah, dude. Dude, for real, they called us. True. I might start stuffing with that thing. That's probably what it's for. Oh, definitely. It's huge. Looks like you have a real medical problem. Yeah.

Oh, the road to the Patreon gay tumor runs through fucking Austin, bitches. You want to take this? Come take it, dude. Come and take it. You come take it out of my butt. We're going to shove it up our ass, dude. What's that? You're going to like a cool party and Diddy's going to shove it up our ass, dude. Diddy better not find out we have this. Oh, yeah. Why did he get attacked all of a sudden? Do you think Diddy's plugging all these dudes? I don't know. I hope not. I'm going to look. Did he? That's what everybody's calling him right now. Did he? Did he?

Did he? Well, he got in trouble. The media just fucking fling their eye on people. And all of a sudden, it was like, I think Dwight Howard was in trouble. And then they just fucking spotlighted him. Was Dwight in trouble or was Dwight just kind of outed? He was just sending freaky texts. He was sending freaky texts. Yeah. I think Dwight was totally. No, there was a dude who was like. I think he's fine. Yeah, but a guy claimed he went over there and then was like, nah, I'm not with this because another dude was there. And then Dwight was like, they claimed Dwight was like, it's time.

What do you mean like it's time? He was exchanging. Pretend you and I were having a gay affair and we're texting each other. Slow it down. What's happening? So you and I... So it was like if we were having a gay affair and I'm like, yo, come through. Slide through. Come get this. And where are we? My house. Okay. So you're coming through and all of a sudden Shane's there just standing there buck-ass naked and you're like, yo, I didn't... This is what happened. What the fuck, dude? Yeah, dude, no. Wait, what do you mean? I don't want to play for the Lakers anymore. What the fuck?

What if I'm there naked? You would say you would be mad? I want to go back to Houston. I think that was the claim. I skinned the news, but I think that's what they're claiming he did. Oh, that'd be so scary.

The guy apparently, yeah. I mean, Dwight Howard's fucking huge. Dwight Howard's huge, dude. That would be so scary. You think at that point, tossing in another dude would not be that big of a deal? It wouldn't be a deal. And you think you could get tall enough away from being gay, you know? True. You could get far enough from your dick where you don't even think about them. Or just like, you know, I just wonder if at certain altitudes or whatever there is as much...

Gayness or whatever. Maybe it's gayer. Maybe it gets gayer and gayer. No, dude. Shaq, Yao Ming. True. Those guys are straight as hell. True, true, true. Sir Charles. Napoleon. Napoleon was a little... Yeah, he was a little sweet. Actually, Napoleon was straight as fuck, dude. Was he? Yeah, he was very straight. Maybe it's just us average-type guys. Maybe all the gays in like 5'9 to like 5'11. I guarantee you there is a predomination of gays at a certain height. I believe it. Yeah.

Can you look that up? You guys don't have anybody that works here, huh? Gay hype. No, we got it. Get the guy a fucking laptop. Fire up the quantum computers, dude. Crunch the numbers. All you got was a fucking canister of blood pressure medicine and a cell phone to look stuff up on.

It's on crack squad, dude. These guys are good. Ask him anything. Ask him anything right now. Gay height. What's his age? LeMaire doesn't need a computer. He knows. True. Did you hear that rock question? He got it right when did the rock come back? 2012. He is a computer.

That is an autistic man. For real, we do not need computers. Oh yeah, I feel you, dude. He's the mind of a machine. Now they do horsepowers, they might start doing autism powers on the computer. Oh, that'd be a great movie, huh? Autism powers? That would be... You make me horny. Yeah.

Autism powers. Do I make you uncomfortable, baby? Autism powers. Just an American guy dressed like Austin Powers at a Comic Con. Yeah, it's just one of our politicians. Dude, how crazy that the politics now, they're just blatantly stealing money and smelling it and molesting children. It's crazy. Dude, no one cares.

There's nothing we can do about it. We just realized even if we voted, it doesn't even fucking matter. There's nothing we can do about it. Not at all. There's nothing we can do about it. We're all trapped in this fucking just, this money funneling, all our money to fucking fight war.

It's literally like a game of like Risk or one of those. It's like a computer game someone's playing. They're so close to beating it, though. They're so close to beating the game. We just need to drain the swamps, dude. They need like $60 trillion more from us, dude. And then they'll beat the game. Once we save Ukraine, we're back. True.

I just don't understand the long term of it, because if you if everybody dies from drug overdose and is sad, then what do you even like? You're not going to have anybody to work in the workforce to make you any money. Like, that's right. I just don't understand it. Robots like how do you get the high score in whatever they're doing? You know, I don't know what the fuck they're doing.

I think they're pigging. They're pigging out. Yeah, it's probably. Then again, they have the technology now to really clamp down. So it's like someone could for real rule. If someone gets to rule the world now, they'll probably rule it for just thousands of years. Yeah, but they don't even need to worry about overpopulation. They don't live around people.

True. You don't need to, you know, I think it's not even about I think it's dude. There's just like seven dudes in like a fucking weird exclusive place and they're just like business is booming this year. We did 70 zillion. They're like I did 40 zillion fuck and they just they just started coin or whatever. I don't think there's any material concern really. It's just more of like fuck him.

I bet it does. At a certain level, it gets pretty weird. Because even I've just met a couple of rich folks, and they get pretty weird, man. Yeah. They get a little bit like, it definitely seems kind of scary. Dude, imagine seven generations of that, though. Oh, dude, crazy. It's fucking insane. Like salt burn. Yeah. I didn't see that. I heard it was good. I thought you were talking about literal salt burn. I was like, yeah, that would suck. No, salt burn, it's about kind of like, have you seen it?

I heard I wouldn't like it, but it was good. Is it about a weirdo that's just fucking people? The guy's naked in it, I heard. I'm not watching that. It's about... I'll say this. I watch naked guys every day on my cell phone. Yeah, fuck that lady.

Jack off to porn. Right. I'm not actually opposed to seeing a naked man. I thought it was a new genre of like dudes flipping out in public. I was like, ooh. I do watch that too. Because there was a guy in the aquarium who just showed his dick. Hilarious. Or the Bass Pro Store. That was pretty tight. That's great. Yeah. So you get naked and get in the tank? The guy got naked and got in the tank. Yeah, that's nice. And showed his penis, yeah.

You do have a small penis during a schizophrenic break like that. Before you finished that sentence, I was like, why are you doing this to me right now? What? You didn't finish your sentence. My mind was like, why are you doing this to me? You do have a small penis. I would never. You have a nice penis. That's all right. Yeah, during a schizophrenic break, you would shrivel up. Was Salt Burn about wealthy families? Salt Burn is about a young man

who's having a tough time and his bicycle breaks down and he meets another guy and the guy he offers him to come and live and work with his family and they are very wealthy and it's about like they have this like kind of valentine's party and people start just being fucking real just kind of gay and stuff and yeah and then you don't know what's going on and then uh

Yeah, people are like slurping each other off and shit. Really? Yeah, and it's nighttime a lot at the end of it. Oh, fuck. That's the best thing I can say. It's kind of like Shakespeare. Yeah. Okay. Damn.

Yeah, I mean, if you think about it, if no one you knew in your personal network ever had to worry about physical concerns, you're just off on this whole different thing where it's like you get 40 grand a month to live your weird life, and then you go to a Christmas party and you got to have a business, but there's no reason to really have one. And you get into this weird back and forth stuff. It is crazy that they did make it that many generations.

Like these rich families? Because usually the second generation is insane. Yeah, that's the saying. Yeah, usually your son spends it all. He buys a bunch of Popeye's chickens or whatever. Yeah, he's just an insane man. Fucking ruins it all. You know, and that has nothing to do with you, LeMary.

That can happen to anybody. It could happen to anybody. That's true. Yeah, I'm just saying that. That's true. But there is always like, yeah, I'm going to invest in dump trucks or something, you know? And he has 60 dump trucks and his wife fucking shoots him or whatever. And you're like, oh, damn, dude. It does come off the wheel. Yeah, it comes off the wheel. It comes off the wheel. You get a hundred.

The what? You get a hundred Biden. Yeah, true. You get next generation is going to be nuts. That's pretty quick, yeah. Trump Jr. is holding in tight, dude. He's holding it down. The Trump dynasty is impeccable, dude. Trump dynasty is in good hands. True. With the, what's the young fellow's name? Whisker or whatever? Barron. Barron. Barron's fucking, he's in gay altitude. He's like 6'10". He played, did he play ball? He's reaching gay altitude. Yeah.

dizzying heights does he play ball or not he's gonna he better play ball if he doesn't play ball dude nobody's gonna vote for him he has to if baron trump was good at basketball if they put out a highlight tape right now trump trump wins the election in a fucking landslide

True. Who do you think your vice president should be? Because you got to pick somebody now. You have to realize it doesn't even fucking matter. Like the guy's either going to go to jail for embezzlement or he's going to help you get votes because he's cool. Right. No matter who your vice president. So you almost want to pick somebody that just has like people like. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Yeah. That's no. I think that's all it is now.

Because no one knows who Trump's vice is going to be. Yeah, I mean, he had Michael Pence, that dude who collects fucking those... He collects those, like, Christmas villages. Yeah, he's nuts, dude. I don't know what the thinking was with him. I guess he was like...

Well, he was like the water to his flame. Yeah, Pence was the water to Trump's flame. You needed someone like real just fucking placid. I think we go double flame this time with Trump. I think he might. I think he should get Charles Barkley. Charles Barkley would be tight. Charles Barkley would fucking rule. Dude. That's a good call. Bro, if he had, it would be a wrap. Yeah, dude. Forget it. Yeah. Is that Mike McGraw?

Not Narls. Not CeeLo. CeeLo would be tight, too. CeeLo's fun. Can't wear future clothes? Can you wear future clothes, too? Future clothes, Dan. The best is when CeeLo just turns his neck like that. I love that, dude. CeeLo is fucking great, man.

Yeah. He's a sweet guy. We got to ride on an airplane with him one time. Did you really? Yeah. Really nice guy. But yeah, and also I want to say I don't know for a fact that Mike Pence collects Christmas. I believe it. It's so believable though. I have seen images and JPEGs and everything. I don't know. Yeah, but you can see it. You can see him like putting a final piece. Yeah. That's nice. Do you see what I see? Now isn't that beautiful?

And the train just comes through. And it says all our money is just headed to Ukraine. Now that's beautiful. Yeah, man. That's the spirit. It's just crazy to think the Ukrainian president is a comedian. Dude, it's fucked up. And he just embezzled fucking billions of dollars. What did he do? He sold all their farmland, basically.

He just sold the country's farmland. And I'm not saying that people over there, there's not a war and it's not horrific. Sure. But I just don't understand how, like, funding a war helps anybody. To me, that just doesn't help anybody. Yeah, you get gadgets, I guess. You get some gadgets. But you got to find some way to peace. I don't think funding a war helps anything. Yeah, true.

I mean, I don't know. They say America has, but again, not against Russia. Like, yeah, with all the technology, because Russia probably has similar tech. But we also should find, I mean, we should fund the war on drugs that's going on over here. True, we don't have many problems here, so it's good to focus on the Donbass region. That's next. We better not lose Crimea.

Russia, I want that back. Crimea? I need that to go back to the Ukrainian people. That's our red line. We need that, yeah. We need it back. We need Crimea. I had to take a second. I was like, which one does that end? I'm like, yeah, it's Ukraine. We need Crimea. We're going for Mexico next. We're going to war on the cartels. I guarantee it.

You think? Yeah, I think so. I think they'll just roll them out and then it'll just be like pharmaceutical companies just selling opiates now. I think they'll shut down. They'll just produce down there, but they'll probably shut down. I wouldn't fight Mexico. I like Mexico. Mexico's sweet. I wouldn't fight them. I hope we don't fight them. They're going to be population-wise, in like 50 years, they'll be coming up there. We're going to dip. We're going to dip hard.

Yeah, that's the culture we I'm curious to see what their move is as a pull as like a political power, because at some point population wise, they're going to tip the scales. So that's when they could, if they want, storm all of the houses and all of the they wanted to. Yeah. At that point, it's a numbers game and they could bring it down and it really has some control over stuff. They can take back Texas and half of California. Yeah, they could take their land back. That was Mexico.

And they're already... They're in position. What, can all these banks just shut the fucking bank down? Yeah. They'll come. That'll be... I read a book about the next 100 years and they're predicting Mexico will be... Really? Yeah. They think Poland too will be a... Oh, wow. Poland is going to be a rising world power. No, it is right now. Poland's giving speeches right now. Oh, yeah. Turkey, Poland, Mexico, the US. Well, Poland's saying we're not taking any of this bullshit, any of this fucking bullshit.

wiggle waggle bullshit that's bringing down all so many parts of the rest of the world hey we don't want any other who would have thought the polacks this guy's been fucking spot on dude i'm telling you i read that book like two years ago and it was like ukraine invaded russia right away they think china is going to collapse russia is going to collapse and it'll be mexico us poland we had a chinese waitress today beautiful lady south korean yeah yeah where'd you go

We went to lunch at a little rotisserie or whatever it's called. Yeah, nice. And... How was her service? It was pretty good. She was very charming. Yeah, that's nice. I will say that. That's nice. And she was a nice lady. That's nice. She's married. She's married. You're married. Yeah. Married. But you can still be friends. You could have been friends with her. You could have been friends with her if you wanted. Yeah. I looked up online if you're married or not. Did you really? Yeah. Oh, thank you, man. Yeah, I'm married. You have two adorable...

adorable children, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I thought was kind of cool somebody put that adjective, or is that an adverb? What is it? Adjective. I was like, that's kind of nice that somebody went, because Wiki is so like, you know. Oh, they did my, they talked about that. Yeah, this guy kills animals. They never put anything nice. But we'll say this guy is too adorable.

Did they say that in the Wikipedia? It really did. That's really nice. I just thought somebody cared. That's nice. I remember Googling myself two years ago, and the top question was, what does Matt McCusker do? No one has any idea what I'm up to. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Little mystery, man. I like to have your daughter here. You know how much money it takes for me to keep that mystery going every month? I'll tell you how much. Where's that fucking Patreon? Don't touch our beloved. All of our money is inside the hardship with all of our bitcoins. Oh, yeah, dude. Bro, that's that Freddie Mercury kryptonite right there, son.

You throw one nugget of that into an American Legion and all those guys will fucking not know what to do. It's a flashbang, dude. You can flashbang an American Legion with this thing. One guy would pick it up and be like, what the hell is it? Everybody get out! What the hell is this? It's just foodie! Somebody would dive on it and take it for the rest of the Legion. But he'd dive under his butt? Yeah, like everything, everywhere, all at once.

Get out of here, Jim. Some guy just saddles it. Whoa, dude, that's not how we... That's how you know some of your military buddies are gay. I think if somebody has to jump on a grenade... Saves on a grenade and does it ass first. And they do it with their butt. Right before it explodes, you go... True. Oh, fuck. You're like, Rick? Goodbye, Rick. That would be crazy, exploding ass first.

Like having all that force. But at least you get to go like this. You get to go up in the air. Yeah, you don't blow into a million. Like when those dudes sit on there. Just kind of a dignified way to go. You're not the dude who's just laying there looking at the ground of a fucking bowling alley or something. While your fucking ass gets blown into the air and then you feel a little bit of it laying on the back of your neck before you fucking go unconscious forever. Yeah.

God, that's going to be so crazy. Jumping on a grenade? That's so crazy. You think they'll be able to simulate that in a while? What it feels like? VR grenade explosion? To die like a hero? Yeah. I hope so. I hope it's coming. They're supposed to have racism VR coming up. Really? Where you can put it on and walk down the street and like, yeah, people will just, you're supposed to be able to feel what it's like if people aren't cool with you. It's just white people walking by like, huh?

I know you're like, how unrealistic is that? I can't wait to see how unrealistic this is going to be. No, you're not allowed in here. What? It's a dog park. That happens. You want a sweet green as just 45-year-old white guys be like, we don't serve you in here.

You can't have apples with your salad. What if Snoop Dogg just shows up at dog parks and he's just like, la-da-da-da-da. It would be funny if in the racial simulation all the white people stay and then you get jumped by five black dudes. You still get jumped. Yeah, yeah, that'd be great, dude.

That'll be nice though because then you'll have the implicit bias so you can take the test to see if you're racist and then afterwards you can put the helmet on and be like, oh my god. Oh, it's so bad. Yeah. Some bullshit, man. That'll be fun. Test is nice though. It'd be nice. If they could put it into a Tesla, that'd be sick. True. Shit, that'd be nice. Everyone's just hating on you while you're driving around.

30% chance of black. Yeah. Or Mexican. Or dangerous Vietnamese. It just shows you what percentage. Yeah. Dangerous Vietnamese at 40 feet. Car autopilots and speeds through. It just runs red light. It just goes 180 miles an hour. Yeah. If you press the horn, it slurs.

No, it just hits the fucking... Give me the readout. Hits other cars and it gives you, this is what the driver probably is, like you've talked about, yeah. Oh, I've talked about it. You talk about that a lot. Every time I get behind the wheel. Guessing the content. So I got busted. I'm not proud of this. It wasn't my proudest moment, but I was with my wife and a couple of her friends and it was like a... Her friends, their kids. True. It was a couple of her friends. Like a claimant, dude. Yeah.

Her buddies. A couple of our buddies. No, we were driving and there was just like whacked out pickup truck and it like pulled around and like, I didn't, there was someone driving aggressively behind us and like this candied out pickup truck passed us. I didn't know. I was like, of course. And then she was like, what do you mean? I was like, oh, fuck. Nothing. Not my proudest moment. For context too, my wife's black. So it was like, I was the only white man in the car and I hit it. Like the thing came by and I went, oh, of course. I was like, tch.

Did you get a pass? It was a Mexican guy. I was like, yeah, these Mexicans drive like crazy. Fucking Indian guy. These fucking Mexican guys drive like crazy. They're pickup trucks, dude.

Wasn't proud. It came out. I went, damn it, man. The South's tough to tell. Well, I was pissed because I was getting tailed in the car. I'm like, what the fuck's going on? No, I'm saying it's tough to guess race in the South. Oh, the South. Yeah, true. There's a lot of honkies down here that drive. It's a lot more dirty in the South. Crazy, yeah. A lot of blonkies, too, dude. A lot of black dudes trying to be white. True. True. You see that shit much more than you used to. Down the South? Yeah, everywhere. True that. Every now and then you see...

Some brother trying to fucking whiten out. Pants high as hell. Yeah, his pants totally fucking high. Yeah, eating a Lunchable. True. That is our cuisine. Like, yeah, Clarence on that Lunchable. You're like, what the fuck, man? But that's also, you know, I believe in beige power. In the end, we all end up beige, right? So it's just, this is just how we're all getting there. True. In the meantime, so.

Yeah, that's just what's going on, you know? I agree, man. And I think it's fun to, as long as you're not out doing crimes or anything, it's fun to joke around about. True. I agree. I was actually wondering the other day, have the attacks on elderly Asian women gone down?

That seemed to reach a fever pitch. I bet you they're the exact same rate. It's just the news. You think so? That's a good point. It could have been. I don't think anybody that was committing those types of crimes was going home and watching the news and being like, I should stop. I should change my ways. Yeah, if you're socking an Indian lady at the subway, you

You're not going to watch CNN. You don't think Wolf Blitzer could look you in the eyes with a TV and transform you? Stop it. Anderson Cooper, he would have froze me. If I just got back from just fucking clocking a lady on the subway and Anderson's like, knock it off. It's like in every bank robbery movie where they sit down, they're in public and the local news comes on and it's like, this is the video. Yeah. Think of being the guy who socked an Asian lady at a train station in the neck.

That comes on the TV. They definitely wake up in the hospital every time, though. Yes. They probably, the guy comes out of the hospital like, oh, Jesus Christ, not again. Fuck. Thanks, buddy. Absolutely. That's a brutal move. That does result in a heartless move. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The hospital used to seem more reliable, huh? Yeah. I agree. I feel like it doesn't seem that reliable as it used to. You can walk in and- Yeah, you can go in the frame, dude. You're good. This isn't a professional. Yeah. Thanks, man. Yeah, don't worry about it. Thank you, bro.

Thank you to the Canadian man. The Canuck. I just got engaged, actually, Tim. Really? Congrats, bro. That's awesome. What's his name? Yeah. Yo, Canadian engagement. True. But Tim's an illegal alien for a long time. What? What? Tim was a visitor from the north. Yeah, dude. How'd you get past our wall up there?

He got past the wall because dragons burnt it down. How the hell did you blend in? How do people not pick you out? He came up with the Kawhi Leonard trade. Went to the Clippers.

He can't remember if it was part of that deal. Spurs? Where the fuck is Kawhi now? Kawhi did the Clippers. Wouldn't it be great if certain places could just attach local random people to their fucking deals? Like all the pork barrel spending and stuff that goes on where they just attach all the fucking, you know, we're going to give six homes to fucking, you know, people that don't have any fucking faces or whatever. Otani's going to the Dodgers. We're going to throw in a couple of cool ass dudes he knows. Yeah, Otani's going to the Dodgers.

I miss those days, man. That'd be a good blend. What's that? Wheelchair basketball with the NBA and just fucking... See who's better? Yeah, no, just like you have to have like two dudes. Oh, I like that. Rolling. Like a seventh man. Yeah. Five men on the court. Sixth man. Yeah. But the sixth man is rolling. Yeah. And a...

Just posterizing them. Swatting them. So one dude always has to be in a wheelchair? Yeah. Ooh. Six men on the court, one's in a wheelchair. But it's got to be a legit wheelchair guy. You can't just put... Yeah, yeah. You can't put... No bums. Ray Allen in a wheelchair. Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that. Wheelchair guys are pretty capable, dude. You see what Hawking was up to? Yeah, they're nasty, bro. Hawking was up to... They're nasty. Dude, who among us would take that charge? Of Hawking bearing down on you? Getting steamrolled? I'd get the fuck out of the way. Oh, yeah, Hawking was...

Hawkins was on the island, bro. He was pretty good. He was on the island, too? He had that fucking crossbow on him. True. Crossbow. Blocked the shot. It's fucking like... Damn. Yeah, Hawkins was on the Epstein's Island? Yeah. Give him a pass. I don't know. I think... He was just looking.

he is a national really didn't it wasn't his allegation something with like midgets yeah apparently he liked to watch midgets like solve math probably he would like make him do weird shit and he just like watch him and get horny msat prep yeah but that's basically substitute teaching i don't know if that's like that also sounds like an early uh it sounds like an early um uh

part of the wrestling thing like you were saying earlier. Sorry, I can't think of the word. It sounds like a wrestling story. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, true. That's what he was doing. He was making midgets do math. Yeah, but I think he was getting turned on, which is... I can't do that. Yeah. What? Which somebody made a... Yeah. Somebody made a video. Yeah. And the midgets could... It's like the math castle. If they couldn't solve the problem, they just got fucking molested, I guess. What was the fucking...

It's not funny, man. Sorry. Did you ever play Math Castle? It is funny. It's not funny, dude. That's the harshest allegation. I know there was children on the island, which is a bad allegation. I know their butt, dude. Midget Pipeline is crazy. Flying midgets down there to do fucking math. Thankfully, our government is protecting all these people. That's the best thing.

And they killed Epstein. Bro, I can't get a pothole filled in fucking New Orleans, but you can fill a fucking nine-year-old out in the middle of the fucking ocean? Fuck this whole fucking government, dude. It's crazy. It's a bunch of sick fucking people, bro. Yeah, man. And a lot of it, I just wonder if it's just power. Like you were saying, generations of fucking power. Do you just get so sick that...

even caring about somebody doesn't even seem like it makes any sense to you anymore. Yeah, dude. Who was the one who was... Joffrey was the lady. Virginia Joffrey, I think, was like the original victim. Lord Joffrey? Guffrey came out and was like, these people did all this stuff to me and they settled. Epstein's original charge was because of Guffrey. And then they sealed all the documents. The court was like...

all right, we'll settle this. And like, yeah, like my are bad about all that stuff. But like no one can ever find out about anything that had to do it, which is like why? Cause it was intelligent. Yeah. True. It was just staying up. Literally blackmailing every single person that went to there. True. Yeah. They did. They found him at his house in Florida. The docs. No, just cameras. Oh yeah. The honey pot. The whole thing was. Yeah.

Yeah, but at least they killed him. They said he killed him. Which is most egregious. Fucking killed him, dude. And we can't, you know, all we can do is continue to say it over and over again because none of us will do anything about it. True. They killed him in front of everybody. We got to steal his casket and drive it away. We got to drive it. We got a big ball. That's a good move. Bill Clinton would jump on it, dude. Did he have a funeral? I don't think he had a funeral. Who went? I think it was a Zoom funeral. It was a Zoom funeral. The worst is that guy they caught

Jay Owen on a Zoom. Yeah, that was a good one. He got brought back. They did an interview to try to bring him back and the lady, the female interviewer had to address it like right away. She was like, you got caught masturbating, didn't you? Oh yeah, the little guy. And he was like, yeah.

What? Yeah, my bad. A lot of people got busted during the Zoom. I think a lot of people got busted. What's scary now to think, even if you watch pornography, they're saying that a lot of these websites, that's how they get stuff on people because they can just turn your camera on. So they're watching you watch porn and that's the footage that they use of almost everybody whenever they need to come to you and say, hey man, um,

You can't do this. You got to host the Golden Globes. Yeah, you got to, yeah. You got to host the Golden Globes. And that was Shane's joke. But I just want to make sure that it gets out. Okay? So, Cat Williams, I didn't fucking steal it from Ricky Smiley Harvey. Okay? I don't want to mention it. Don't mention it. Don't talk to Cat, dude. I don't want him coming after it.

Dude, I would love to get to spend time with Cat, man. He's super fascinating, I think. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I would like to see his new show, his new hour. And he has a long, his body has like a very long torso, I think, you know? I think he does. My sister's boyfriend has like really short legs. Really? Yeah. Have you seen him, Charlotte? His knees kind of go in his shoes a little. Is that, yeah. What? He's got no shins. I don't know what he, I didn't look at him that, I'm not fucking perving out on him.

Would you want him to be ripped though? You want him to be kind of ripped though, don't you? Yeah, I think he is probably kind of ripped. Sister's boyfriend? Yeah. You don't want him ripped. You don't want him to be ripped? I like a good soft deli boyfriend. He's built like a rural otter. That's good.

Short legs. Jacked fucking sister's boyfriend sucks, dude. Yeah, I never really had that. I'm trying to think. Oh, that would be the worst. Yeah, you go, God damn, this guy is fucking... It'd be a sigh off. It'd have to be destroy from... Yeah, destroy the mentality the whole time. But yeah, I never had like a jacked... You'd have to poison him, huh? True. Yeah, you couldn't fight him. Yeah.

You have to get in his head. Bro, that must be the worst if you hate your sister's boyfriend. Like, really hate him. Yeah, dude. That happens all the time, yeah. It's gotta be crazy. Our family's pretty tight. Everyone's... I love my brother-in-law. I was always, yeah, I was always a coward towards him. Really? I would always like whoever my sisters were dating. Like, he's fucking so cool. Yeah, well... One guy gave me a Stone Cold t-shirt right away. I was like, dude, I'll fucking die for this guy. Oh, yeah. I loved him, dude. Oh, that's like an autism valentine. Yeah, I was locked in.

um they broke up i was sad damn oh yeah you're just sleeping in that stone cold t-shirt still smell him no my sister's boyfriend is actually a neat guy that's cool yeah if you get a dud that stinks yeah well yeah because also it's like we don't need another loser in our family yeah

But that's who loser families attract is more losers. But at the family, this used to be cool back in the old days. The family would get together and vote. They would have a say in what. And a lot of times it was because we are fucking our family is horrible. It's mentally unwell. Yeah.

Not even doing well, not reading well. Yeah. Not even seeing that well. Some of us can't see. Damn. And you're going to go out and bring in another. Another loser. Add another mutant to our fucking clan of fucking dipshits. You better take that cooter up the hill, baby. Trill. All right? And find something with some fucking shekels in its pocket. All right?

It's got to be. Just adding another poor guy to the mix. That sucks. He's poor, but he has to have a skill. He has to have an ability. He has to have at least a flicker of hope in his eyes. Yeah, true. You know? Because if you're just, yeah, you got to fuck uphill, man. Yeah. You know? That's just a lot of women. You just need to turn around and just point that vagina northward. Yeah. I agree. And shoot for the stars, ladies. True.

Yeah, I mean, or get like the nice, like, because you don't want to go too, too high because they can chase that dragon forever, too. That's true. But like a nice, dependable 401k, yeah, I totally agree. You're the opposite of a power couple. You've addressed this. What? That joke. Oh, the... Those guys walking? Yeah, yeah. The unpowerful couple, yeah, the opposite of the power couple. Those guys are tough. And you see like the crackhead couples walking on the highway? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Our friend Eric Meyer has died out on the highway. Remember that? Yeah. What? It was heartbreaking. Died on the highway? Yeah. How? Yeah. I shouldn't have brought that up, but. That's all right. It's fair. I'm sad about it. Steelers had a quarterback that died that way. No. Ben Roethlisberger? No, Ben. Didn't get in the car. He got in a motorcycle accident. Road rash. Musical hero. Yeah. Don't try to cross the highway. Haskins died that way. Fuck, that sucks.

Yeah. You're a pedestrian. That sucks, man, walking down there. Damn. Getting hit by a fucking car on a highway like that. Especially you see it coming. I don't think you do. You think? I don't know. I would just imagine when you're trying to cross the street and you're like, that thing's far away. Dude, they come up quick on you. And they're so fast. And the truck goes... Nobody hits their horn on them. That's a myth. They're not swerving. They're just beeping. Yeah.

You feel something start to press into the side of you. That's all you ever...

That's all it is. And you get, you ever see someone get hit by a car? Because you go up in the air high as fuck. Yeah, pants fly off. Yeah, shoes fly off. It's fucking crazy. You go long. You go straight like a fucking noodle. It's a tiddlywink. It's real. You go up and just like that. It's bizarre. There's a couple of interviews with people that have survived falling out of plane crashes and stuff. Falling out of the sky, I guess. What? What were we talking about? Alaskan Airlines the other day? The fucking door ripped off. You see that one?

That's the scariest thing possible. Did anyone fly out? I don't know. Do you get sucked out? That's fucking Biden there, dude. Did anyone get sucked out? I think that's like a bit. So you don't get sucked out? I don't think you get sucked out. That was kind of like all the things I saw in the headlines. They were like, a panel can just fly off the plane. Dude, I've been thinking forever. I thought you'd get sucked out. All I think about is... I still thought that until right now. I think we're good. That's cool. It's got to be cool because some people were sitting right close to it. So they're basically just throwing peanuts out. Must have been freezing cold.

Oh, that's true. That fucking door ripping open. You must have been so scared and cold. I would have gotten exposed. I would have been like, we're getting sucked out. I would have screamed, dude. I would have been making the weirdest noises. The door rip off the plane. Yeah, you'd be making the noises you didn't. You'd be making noises you didn't know you could make. People are like, what's rolling back? Anyone else feel the G-force?

I'd be sucked into my seat like the Gravitron. Hopefully you would faint. True. Hopefully you would faint. G-Force. I like to forget, but I like to play. You just start singing shit. People are like, what is going on? You would lose. You might. Yeah. Who knows what reaction you'd have. You might be like euphoric. It might be just a crazy. You fucking hum somebody's dog out of it. Somebody has to die. It's this dog. And I'm joking. And the dog has a parachute on it. True. True.

And he knows how to use it. He's trained. Has anyone done that before? Throwing a dog out with a parachute? I'm probably skydiving with a dog. Skydiving with, yeah. That's pretty good. The dog's mouth. That is the ultimate roll down window though for the dog. It's kind of nice. Dog skydiving. Search that and just report back on what you see. Verify that exists.

Surfing dogs, that's good. Surfing dogs is awesome. You see dogs surfing? Yeah, yeah. What else we got? Skydiving dogs, that's good. Bam, two seconds. Oh, yeah, fucking military skydives dogs. Oh, yeah. They'll drop those boys out of the sky.

This is how we do it here. No, it's fucking great, dude. Damn, we forgot to turn the fire on. Ah, crap. We'll start over. We need that thing on. Yeah, get that blue flame going. Oh, having one of those indoor fires is so nice.

Yeah. It's good it's not a real fire. We could fuck that up. Same reason I'm probably not going to get a gun. The what? The gun? Yeah. I drank a lot. Come back here late. Yeah. I just want to show everybody the gun I got. Dude, you have to. You play with it. Take it out. You want to play with it in your room. That's how Chris died, dude. It's not loaded. Who? Everybody's a friend of Chris. Yeah.

Yeah. If I have a gun, I'm going to shoot it at that fence. Oh, you have to, dude. And you know he's going to be walking by that fence when you shoot, don't you? No. Chris. Chris is shot. It's just everybody has a friend named Chris that died from some gun accident.

And I hate to even laugh about it, man. It's fucking sad. I know it's sad for a lot of people right now hearing that. True. And it just makes me fucking sad. No, that's true. It's so dangerous, though. I know. But they're so fun to play with. They're awesome. So fun. I don't think they are. I don't think they are. Showing a gun, holding a gun. My fondest memories are me and my friends. You have a couple of drinks and show a gun. High on fucking hallucinogens. High as shit. My father's gun. Pointing it at each other. It's my favorite times. It is a horrible thing.

It's fun. Take mushrooms, put a gun to your head. My dad would come in and be like, did you guys get into my gun safe again? God damn it, get out of here, you little rascals.

My dad has a shotgun in our coat closet by our front door. I'll grab that. Get that. I don't know what he's doing with that. Put that on your head. You're like, oh, this won't stop the rain. You should YouTube prank your family for a family dinner. Just bust out the shotgun. Like, man, I fucking love you guys. Yeah, I'm just kidding. We're here. We get the cameras here, guys. I fucking pranked you. That's awesome, man.

No, we don't. I never, I didn't play with guns. I had a lot of guns in my house growing up. I had a ton of fucking guns. Yeah. I'd be so scared. But yeah, I think part of it is somebody teaching you how to use it well and just what's going on. I'm just, I'm scared to carry them. I went shooting with my wife and I was carrying the gun to the car, which I was like, I'll carry it. And I fucking dropped it. I dropped the gun and just dropped it.

Don't I have a bad I don't pay attention to things at all. What are you talking about? We're just carrying a handgun cuz you can can't you bring your own gun to the thing Yeah, I know how you I know having a how having a gun works. What I'm saying is how do you drop a fucking? Well, I don't pay attention to my head to the clouds all the time. Are you holding it? Yeah, I was fucking holding it You're walking back to your car holding the pistol. You didn't holster it or put it in like a case Carrying the pistol back Just straight in the air

I'm going to my fucking car now. Now I'm trying to remember why I didn't put it in the case. Yeah, what are you doing? But I remember dropping it to where like it hit the asphalt. And I was like, oh, fuck. It's probably scratched. It's heavy, yeah. It's probably scratched. What the fuck? I scratched it, dude. It could go off. Dude, the whole thing. It was after my wife was like, she can actually shoot. So she was teaching me. And I'm like, dude, get the fuck off me. And I'm like. Yeah.

So I was already in an all-time low. Wait, was she rapping around? Oh, yeah. She's trained. She was a fucking police officer. Yeah, but cops don't... You don't get trained that way. It's sexy, dude. It is sexy. But no, for real, I was like, get off me. Like, stop. You're embarrassing me. There's a bunch of one-armed men there. She's just using detention, baby. True. That's love. Dude, but then I was like, I'm carrying a gun. I wanted to assert my manhood, so I'm like, I'm carrying a gun to the car. I think I was just like, fuck. Should I get to the chamber? Fuck.

This is just mixed love, man. This sounds like every mixed relationship I've ever even... There's not one mixed couple that hasn't dropped a gun in a parking lot. She was so mad.

Yeah, but that's funny. Did she laugh? No, she was like, I told you I should have carried it. It's like, I know how to fucking carry it. I had one laugh. I have fucking butterfingers. Relax. I had fucking popcorn earlier. I thought I saw someone coming at us. Dude, it was ridiculous, dude.

Yeah, I can't have a gun. That was like in my head. I was going to get a gun and I was like, I can never have one. I can't personally carry one. I'm getting one, but it's going to result in. We have them in our house, but she's in charge. I'm hand to hand combat. I'd go down. Yeah, of course. Take the shot. I've seen you hit the bag. True. You could do some damage. I could wail on an intruder. Yeah, you could wail on an intruder. Yeah, and I'm ready to die. Especially you see him coming, you hide behind a corner. Oh, yeah. Do you think people want to live that much anymore?

That's a good question. First hand? No. Like I feel like 20 years ago people were like stoked about living. Yeah. Now it feels like people are kind of just on the fence. Maybe we were just young. That's a good question. That could be true too. Because when I was young I was pretty stoked on life. Yeah. You're right. Maybe. The suicide rate has fucking. It's gone through. The deaths of despair have definitely gone up. Really? That includes like overdoses. But there's also a lot more tall buildings than there used to be. True.

More land of opportunity. It is a land of opportunity. Yeah, dude, think about it. In the 1800s, you had to fucking drive all the way to St. Louis to even fucking jump off of something. You had to find a cliff. Yeah. And now you can just do it almost in your area. Yeah, definitely in your area. You can find a nice 5G tower. True. Oh, that'd be nice. I've seen some people fall off those. Guys trying to shut it down, being like, 5G's fucking us up. And then you just jump off of them. Yeah.

It's almost like that bums and drones. Have you seen that? Oh, dude. That's so sad. It is really mean, but God damn, it's funny when they bucket the drone. They try to throw shit at it. They fall down into their own trash. It's an understandable response, though. It'd be so scary. Well, yeah. Dude, someone who's flying a drone. If you're on meth and exactly what you knew was happening happened. You're like, the government's surveilling me with future technology. I know it. And then a drone comes into your tent. You're just...

Yeah, just 12-year-olds laughing hysterically. 12-year-olds on the other side of a hill like, oh, shit, we got him. Whose dads actually work for the government. So low-key, you're kind of correct. You know how sad it would be if a family member got addicted to drugs and you lost them to being a homeless guy and then you're just scrolling through Instagram and you see your fucking son getting attacked by a 12-year-old's drug. You know what's crazy? I bet that's a reality. Yeah, it's definitely a reality. And I bet part of them is like, just like...

It's fucking ridiculous. And part of them is thankful that their dad's even alive, probably. But that also doesn't have to be just bombs, dude. If a drone started following me, I would react the exact same way as those homeless guys. Yeah, if a drone just pulled up at your fucking party. I'd be throwing stuff at it. Who is that? Yeah, you'd get pissed. My friend had this. It went over his backyard. And he was like, I'm going to shoot this fucking thing. You should be able to shoot them easier. Can you legally shoot them? I mean, you should on your airspace. But I don't know. It gets into a hazy thing. Because they're technically in airspace. So it's not your property. But I don't know.

I think you could shoot him in a court. It would be like, yeah, that makes sense. It's the only reasonable thing to even do if you see a drone fly over you. I agree. Shoot it, yeah. Or call a drone catcher. Some guy comes out with a net on his stick. I do have a pool.

A pool net skimmer. I can swing at it. True. That'd be nice. If I was trying to get a drone, it'd be so embarrassing. I'd like spin around and fall. Try to get my shirt would come up. Oh, I think it's so cruel. I don't know. Yeah. Who would who would get that footage, though? It's pretty fucking cruel, man. But who would get it? Like probably kids. It's kids, right? Yeah. Hopefully. It has to be.

It is objectively very funny, though, to see homeless dudes fucking like shaking their fists at a fucking drugstore. It's so funny. It is funny. It's kind of like the new bum fights. At least it's safer than that. Yeah. That's true. And I think also that, oh, fuck, I don't know what it was. That wasn't me. Was that you? My gut going nuts. How long have we been going for? Oh, yeah, we can stop whenever. That's awesome. You ever watch bum fights?

I don't think I watched them. I didn't like the shit. I couldn't get my hands on it. I didn't watch it. Yeah. I knew about it and I didn't like it. There weren't enough prizes for them, I felt like. And there wasn't enough. There was no ranking. It just feel like it was disorganized. Yeah. That was during Girls Gone Wild. So it was kind of like. Girls Gone Wild was better. I never got a hold of one. I don't think I've got one either. It's the dishwasher in there.

Those were like the two fabled tapes. It was Girls Gone Wild and Bumfights. I don't think I saw either of them. I did get a hold of Faces of Death. Did you? At a sleepover. LaMare's answering the mailbox right now. Sorry. I'm just joking, LaMare, dude. He seemed like a really great guy. I shouldn't have said that. He is great. Answering the mailbox? He's a great guy.

But that's like a drone. But dude, if you pull a drone up early on anybody, it would be fucking great. Businessmen and drones. It could be absolutely anybody. That'd be nice to pull up on businessmen. Hookers and drones. Oh, yeah. They'd get mad at that. They would not like it. They get so mad about everything. Yeah, they don't like it. Hookers get so fucking mad. Yeah, they got a job to do. They're mad all the time. Are hookers nice sometimes? It's a tough run, man. It's a tough way to make money. I'm trying to think if they've ever been nice. They're not that nice. I feel like they're the meanest.

yeah i don't know some of them are nice really yeah they're not as nice as you'd want you want them to be so much nicer i just feel like yeah i'm just afraid of them right but i think you romanticize that it's going to be something real perfect and it's just a business yeah that's true yeah that's true it's my heart my heart yeah it's like my heart and it's just they're talking there's all business but what the fuck do you want to do what do you expect from um yeah that should do it thank you man it was awesome i think we did it yeah i think hey

Yeah, we'll do it again. Yeah, hell yeah. Thank you for coming here. I think we covered a lot of stuff. We did. Yeah, that should end it. It was fun. It was easy. Hell yeah. I'm really glad that I got to come. Sorry it took me so long to come, man. No, I've heard that before. Not that you were. Don't worry about it, brother. It happens to all of us.

Sometimes you can't, and that's fine. True. Hey, bro, let me autograph this Rockets jersey for you. Get out of here. No joking, man. Thank you guys, bro. Peace, man. All right, love you guys. Thanks, brother.