Ep 469 - Joesthetics (feat. WARMODE)
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- I gave myself hemorrhoids twice not eating meat. - Yeah? - You spent so much time. - Hey, we're here live with War Mode. - Happy Thanksgiving. - Big Bill. - Coming off of an amazing game. That was electrifying. - Me and Bill have been having such a fun time playing John Madden football against each other. - I didn't realize he was a contender. - He really, that was it. That was...

Bill played both sides of the ball in high school, dude. True. All-state. You started playing defense. Were you all-state? That's what I'm talking about. You started playing defense. It was pretty good. I know. I tried. What else? Dude, don't be deflated. You got literally stopped on not even the one. You finally played on the real skill level. Yeah. Even skill level. Dude, I know I fuck around and shit, but sometimes I'm actually sad. It's not fun? I've always known as the guy joking around and stuff, but sometimes I get sad.

Dude, you should start. You got to start a thirst trap IG. I know we talked about it a hundred times. I'd rather kill myself. Now you're sad? That's a good thirst trap. Dude, there's ones on there that's like a picture of their kid, like newborn, and then it's like a flashback sound. It's like life after my newborn died. It's like, probably.

What? On Instagram, I swear to God, they don't have those. It's like morning, like women in morning. How about that girl doing the fucking like, I love you TikTok to her baby in a fucking incubator. Yeah, that had like an incubator in the nose. Yeah, that was fucked up. What? She does a TikTok dance and she's like, about pointing to a baby, her baby in an incubator. Oh.

You know what's shitty? When you go to whatever it's called, NICU, it's like the neonatal intensive care unit, a lot of the babies you just don't see any parents anywhere around the whole time. That's wild. People just like crap babies out in their home, like ventilators from the beginning of their life, and nobody comes and visits them.

Really shitty. Either way, what do you think, support? I'm so thankful that that wasn't me. So thankful that wasn't me. True. Spade was left to die.

On a mountain. She was bald in the dock in St. Charles. Yeah, for a little bit. Just a little. Yeah, just a little bit. For a minute. For a second. We're all orphans for a second. Yeah. That's what Mother Teresa was doing with people who were dying. She would just have a whole fucking thing of just people dying on towels. That's fucking sick. That was her shit. The beach. What? Was that the beach? It was like a trip to the beach. It was like a beach day. Everyone was like.

In Calcutta. Yeah, dude, don't sleep on the fucking... That is a legend. Don't sleep on the nuns. Nuns are, you know, a central part of the church. I saw two on my way, and I said, sister, you can go ahead of me. You saw a nun? Yeah. I had a goat fourth grade teacher named Sister Elizabeth. She was the best. You all saw the young nuns. I've been getting pumped on the nuns lately. I told you, I'm reading that book about the guy making the pilgrimage from the Via Frangelica. Start in Canterbury, England, walk to Rome. It's pretty tight. Hell yeah. And you get the stamp here. You get to stop at like little...

Like anywhere like the monks are chilling, you get to stop and just be like, this is where you're like buying your sins out of hell, like buying your way out of hell. It was now. Now you can just like do it. And they have a little pilgrim passport and you stop. They'll be like, yeah, you can sleep here for the night. They have to give you lodging. Nice. It's pretty tight. It's like all West rules. Yeah.

It's pretty tight. I want to do it. I'm going to do the BF Frangelica. You go through all the little cities and they have a little history of every city in France. It's pretty sick. That'd be really cool. Dude, like the angel statues get their heads blown off in World War II and then a monk will find them and save them and put the statue back up and they'll say, check this out. This angel got his fucking head blown off. We saved it. Shit got obliterated. That's deep, bro. That's nice.

Oh, there's tons of stuff like that, dude. Do you actually... St. Omer's tomb. You know St. Omer? No. He walked... He wandered the countryside for like years trying to beg the lords like, please give the peasants some of your guys' land. And he just walked so much that his legs stopped working so he became crippled. And then he died and then all the little crippled kids in France visit his tomb and lay their shoes on his tomb. That's nice. I was reading it on the plane. I was like... So fucking sweet. When was this? Huh? When was this? I don't know. Probably in like the 1700s. Actually, probably the 1500s.

It wasn't Napoleon. It was probably the 14, 1500s. Don't even get us started on Napoleon. Napoleon. Napoleon. Yeah, Bill thought Napoleon was from the 1400s. I could see you. Well, I'll be honest. I didn't really know. We talked about it earlier. I was talking to these two people. They didn't know Napoleon. I know him. No, I know, but I'm saying people don't even know. He had a huge effect on the world. I didn't know that his whole family spread out and started running stuff. Yeah, dude. His grandson started the FBI.

Yes. Yeah, it's crazy. Federal Bureau. And there's current Bonapartes. The one dude looks exactly like him. What? Yeah, he married some baroness or something. They must be loaded. Yeah, dude, they're the Bonapartes. Fuck, that's pretty dope. I think he... Didn't he donate a million francs? They never try to hit him with racists or anything like that? What? Didn't he donate a million francs to the town he went to military school in?

I don't know. He did help out Corsica a lot. He was a loner in military school. He was writing some weird shit. We all know a lot about him. I don't know shit about him. Compared to the other boys, yeah. A little. Yeah, he was ashamed about it.

And he wasn't sure. But I mean, that's how you make such a man. I'm a spoiler. What happens to him? He ends up on an island. Yeah. Exile his fucking ass. Twice. Why is he twice? First time. So mad about it. How do you get on exile? First time they put him on an island. He broke out and took over Europe. Jack Sparrow. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you serious? He was a bit of a papillon. They put him on. They put him on an island. He escaped. French for butterfly. And did it again. What? And then they sent him to. Fuck. I forget what it's called.

Real far. Jamaica. That's right. Jamaica, man. Wagwan, Napoleon, man. Yeah. Big ups. Big ups to motherfucking Napoleon, man. Damn, how the fuck did he get up? St. Helena? St. Helena? Got it. Not a big deal. Not a big deal. Nailed it. Dang, bro.

He's not my favorite. Ulysses S. Grant's my favorite dude. Ulysses S. Grant versus Napoleon, who would win? Didn't Grant study Napoleon? That's like LeBron and fucking Michael Jordan. I mean, now we're talking. And Napoleon studied the great and Caesar. True. He studied all the boys. He loved those boys. It's like a lineage. Yeah, studying that shit. But... I wish I studied that stuff. What's his name?

Duke of Wellington was like Napoleon was the goat. Really? I beat him. Napoleon was the goat though. Damn. It's pretty sick. Anyway, I'm excited for the film. I've heard negative reviews about it so far. Yeah, I'm not liking this whole... I'm not happy about it. Allegedly, they're making him out to be like a super simp, which bothers me. He does have some nasty letters. He's horny, boy.

Wait, so what's the complaints about it? Are they saying it's just not real? Not real? Somebody texted me and said it was maybe an intentional comedy. What? And I was like, no, it was not. That would be great if it was true. They ironically did a Napoleon movie? I think somebody told me that. It would be so funny if he came out and he's like, I can't even. I think they had to do it again because Joaquin Phoenix just changed his interpretation of Napoleon. Like after they wrote it and gave it to him.

I don't know. I think I heard that. Really? I think they had to just change the movie from what it was written to just accommodate. Sounds familiar. Joaquin. What? It sounds like the Trump Hitler. Trump Hitler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually think that's what happened. Joaquin. I think Joaquin just was like, no, this is how he would do it. He's just the Joker. He's just the Joker the whole time.

true the role that role changes people dude it changes people i told him i told him i said you want him i told uh what's his name he glad you i told him i said watch out that rolls that changes you did

That ice machine gets going, dude. See how scary that thing is at night? Dude, that would fucking kill me. Startling you? God, you can turn that off. Yeah. I felt bad because I have ceiling fans that have a light on them. You can use the remote. That machine goes nuts, dude. I thought someone was in my kitchen. That's crazy. Was it making the cubes? Giant blocks of ice.

Dude, I turned my remote to trigger other fans in different rooms. I turned my light off, my fan on in my room yesterday, and it turned the light on downstairs where the dog sleeps. They just slept in, like, total lightness. I came downstairs in the morning. Matilda was just looking at me. Just laying on her thing with her eyes wide open, like, what the fuck? Jack's probably was fine. He's blind. He didn't give a fuck. He passed out. But, yeah. Dude, I'm under severe duress right now. Yeah. That ice machine is just going. That's all right. It's just ice falling.

I get to make some turkey. I'm tasked with making the turkey for the family this year. Oh, that sucks. How are you doing? I'm excited. I'm going to brine it. I'm going to brine it, but I have the toughest of judges coming down, dude. What's brining it? It's when you put, it's like you. Yeah, you will get accused of under seasoning no matter what. I get the toughest of, but dude, the brine. Just intentionally put too much seasoning on it. Yeah. So when everyone's like, this is a little, you know, I'll be like, oh yeah, you guys don't understand seasoning.

Just put habanero sauce on it. It's like a fruit punch bowl of hot sauce. No, you put it in a sugar, salt, herb combination and it penetrates into the flesh and flavors the flesh of the turkey. Nice. I'm going to knock their fucking socks off. I think you will.

If not, it's going to be the house will totally melt down. If that turkey doesn't come out right, the whole house is dry. Do you have a baster? Yeah, I got a baster. I got a flavor injector. This is big. This is like a racial pressure of making a... I'm representing, dude. I'm fucking... You have to represent. I'm representing. You got to become the colonel. We can talk about it. I got bullied, dude. This is why...

try not to wear cool stuff whenever I wear cool I literally put on a represent t-shirt that one not this one a different one it's all I have they gave me a box of represent t-shirts all I wear is represent t-shirts but one of them just says represent huge across the back and I was like I'm just going to get coffee I literally when I put it on I was like

Why do I care? No one cares. This doesn't matter. Nothing's going to happen. I went into this coffee shop. This guy goes, all right, you can go ahead in front of me. We're going to take a while to order. And I start going and he pulled his wife back from the counter. It was like, you gotta let this guy go first. He's representing right now. Sometimes they just got to feel like the big fellow for a little bit. Why do you do that to me? You should have just turned around and just go, just out of curiosity, what's the point of it? Why? Why?

Does that make you feel good when you talk about me like that? You should have spazzed, dude. I should have bent down and screamed as loud as I could in his daughter's face. She went, ah!

He wasn't big. I could have had him. I could have mangled his family. Yeah, this fucking dude, when I was in Liverpool, this dude was like, are you filming my kids? And I was like, nah, dude, my GoPro's off. I was just trying to buy a backpack. So my backpack broke. And this fucking guy just goes, he starts talking to his wife, pointing at me, basically accusing me of videotaping little kids.

I could have killed this fucking dude. He was like in his 50s. He accused you of being a pedo. Yeah, man. He pedo popped you. He tried to pedo pop you. I hope that dude feels good. I hope he feels like a big boy right now. Fuck, I wanted to kill this dude. What did you do? Did you just turn around? Nothing. I just stood there and I was like laughing. I'm like, yeah, dude, I'm filming your kids, dude.

In my head, I was like, I'm going to give him his fantasy. Why didn't you just... See, I film little kids and I really like your kids. That's what I'm up to. You should have been like, dude, the only reason you're saying that is because you think about filming your kids all the time. I mean, I don't play those games. Rubber glue. In my head, I was like stuttering, silent, and for an hour after that, I thought about rage, dude. Rage. I'd be so mad if someone accused me of pedophilia. Oh, man.

It's a fucking heavy charge. That is crazy. That's what I told him. That's like grounds for a fist fight. Oh, big time, dude. There's nothing. I was trying to think of things that would have gotten me. Yeah, but then you're risking it all because if you lose, you are a pedophile. Or if you lost the fight, it would be like, I beat the shit out of a pedophile. A 57-year-old dad. I have so much rage, dude. I know. You got big. You look good. That would be nice to be like, camera's on now and I'm going to beat your ass, dude. Bumfights. Dude, if you record yourself...

He should have called himself having duels across Europe. You should have fought for the honor of his children. You should have said, if I win, I get them then. I was imagining throwing down steps. Really? You were thinking bad things? Yeah, dark stuff. Couldn't imagine what goes on up here. He invited it, dude. He did invite it on himself. You should have dueled him. It should have just been like full-out hockey, like drop everything and go. Throw your GoPro down and go. That's how I was laughing when he was saying he was screaming in a little girl's face. That would have been hilarious.

True. I don't even like you. You're not even hot to me. You're going to probably be hot eventually, but no. That's not even what I'm into right now. That's not a party scene, bro. You should have fucking started kissing. That's not a party. No. That is not a party. What?

Getting accused of being a chomo in public. In another country, too. They could have fucking... Literally just have a camera on my chest. What the fuck do you want me to do? That is wild as fuck, though. It's like bombs seeing drones. You know what I mean? If you just see a dude on public transportation wearing a camera vest, I'd be like, what are you, a fucking child rapist? Why do you think, come on out, you rapist? What are you, the worst thing I can think of? Yeah. Yeah. Actually, in fact, sir, I am.

My intention is to film your children. I would never touch them. There's a minor attracted person. It's actually legal. We are in public. I'm filming your kids. Yeah, like the Black Panther Party used to do it. They used to film the police. They used to film the police, yeah. They used to have parties. They squirrel busted the police. Huh? They squirrel busted the police. They used to just watch them from like 10 feet away. I'm like, we are allowed to watch you. They were the first dudes on YouTube to be like, I know my rights, sir. You cannot pull me over. Sovereign citizens? Yeah. Yeah.

That is the tightest YouTube. Oh, my God. You can watch it forever. Sir, I do not have to roll down my window to talk to you. This is enough for me. Thank you, sir. Please give me my pisses me off. So they're so funny. Also presents himself. I know I usually am not supportive, but then I see a dude being like, actually, no, I'm like, beat his ass, dude. Pulls his ass out of the car.

They do. The cops spaz and yank them out of cars and shit. Yeah, dude. There's certain states. I'm pretty sure this is true where you can technically try to pull a cop over. There's certain states if you pull up on a cop, they have to pull over. You can pull them over. I just want to check to make sure you guys are who you say you are. They work for us. You can audit them.

huh you can audit a cop yeah you can pull them over and then you can be like i must you have to be a fucking psycho wait you're allowed to you can pull them over like i'm like what's your badge number what's this you like can i call your and then you i think you can like verify that they're who they say they are or something pretty tight

there's a lot of dudes roll around like fucking the lights and they have regular like yeah are yellow and white ones and then every now and then cops will pull let me check it all it's like red and blue it was like why do you have this oh i do like stuff i'm like a contract i do stuff on my eyes you're not allowed to have this there's dudes over there pretending to be cops that'd be fun to do that's a nice job auditing cops if you're retired would be nice hitting the hitting the lights on people

Occasionally you're going to get a high speed chase. Somebody's going to run when you hit those lights. Then that's a fun night. Yeah. Oh my God. And you just don't even chase them. Dude, I'm telling you, I thought about being a cop for so long. You would be a brutal cop. I'd be tough. I'd be cool. You'd be cop-like. I'd be fair. Matt, it's consensus. You would not. You'd be a brutal cop. I'd be fair. You're allowed to be a brutal cop. Don't worry. Dude, I'd be so fair.

You would be like the wire. I'd be so chill. McMulty, bro. Yeah, you couldn't stay away from the grease. You'd be a dirty cop within three years. I would be a dirty cop. I remember hearing about it. You'd be a dirty cop right away. It's so bad. There's got to be a way to make some money. I remember hearing about they used to do these things in Baltimore. They're called backpack pops. If they see a dude with a school bag, they would go, boop, the same thing. They would throw the backpack down and run. They would just take it, confiscate their drugs.

but there was a guys in philly that were just going through like convenience stores and just they give us money nice they're fully just extorted them so they go pay us that's pretty much what that's what people spaz out and say cops are

what they just do that shit all the time no they don't dude i'm a thin blue i got me i got their sex that's like that's i'm with you're with cops i had their sex until they gave me a speeding ticket in arizona that's literally all it takes those big was it state troopers or is it uh i don't know was it just no it was yuma county motherfucker got me well it took that 310 what i don't know what it was dude it was so straight and long pause and i

I was like, just driving down the whole time. And he's like, you lose yourself. The cop sped away. You lost yourself? Yeah, in the music and the moment. Fucking, I'm driving down and this dude's hiding behind a cliff. Yeah. And then he got you. He brake checked you. He brake checked me. He warned you and then you got caught. Brake checking someone on the highway? It's like, dude. How much was the ticket? $400. Damn. How fast were you going? I was in a Dodge Durango, so I think I was targeted. Probably. That's actually an undercover cop car.

Yeah, but that's why I kept telling Spade the whole time we were driving when I saw a cop, I had a six. And then they fucking pulled me over. I should have ran an audit on him. You should have. Yeah, watch videos where they do audit. They walk, journalists walk in and start auditing people. It's nuts. It's all in the whole YouTube hole or TikTok hole or whatever of...

Busting pedos, stealing valor, all this shit. Are you on the talk right now? I was to try to make intros. He just does dances. But I'm just the IDF girls. I mean, it's hard. Look at me. That's a good idea for that one. That's the only TikTok one I'm confident I could do. Dude, that was a huge thing before. You know that one? What is it? Before TikTok. And then they just do that.

I'm so very exciting. Really? Yeah, it'll get you. You watch it. My wife wants nothing more than for us to do interracial TikTok dance. Holy shit. Fuck, dude. Please do it. Internet, social media couple. Yeah. Please do it. Raise your relationship to the next level. Well, they also those videos do so well. Andy Elliott and his fucking wife. Huh? Andy Elliott and his wife. Are you afraid of success? Please do it. I can't do it. I see the couple she's talking about. There is like a thing of like interracial TikTok.

TikTok, social media things where it's like, we're going to do whatever. I know a dude who his wife made him start doing this and it's for 25 likes. Wait, his wife? Nobody makes it. It's always for 10 likes. They buy a camera light.

Wait, Elliot did this? Not Elliot. I know a dude personally. He got married on a mad one and then started having to do TikTok themes and Instagram stuff. You can get pulled into your babe's social media world and it's like, dude, I'm fighting it. I'm fighting it like the devil. I did tell her, though. I made a deal with her. No, dude. No, I'm not doing them. What I told her...

In order, because I was like thinking about... As your counsel, you have to deny. I just, I won't do that. But I told her, I was like, in order to get your... She does love to dance. So I'm like, I want her to go start doing like dance class and all that stuff. And I told her none...

I'm telling you, man, she fucking loves to dance. She was a cheerleader. It's crazy that that's on the table for chicks. And then if a dude's in his 30s, he's like, fuck it, I'm just going to go dance class. You're a fucking lunatic. Dude, it's chill. It is not. She's going to teach me how to dance off the record. She's going to teach me off the record how to dance. I'm going to start doing weekly dance classes.

That was huge when I was in high school. From step one to step just A to B to C to D. That's actually very nice. Be very fun. Yes. I told her I'll be your pupil but we're not filming any of it and stop bothering me. This is like a romance movie. Things might get heated. It's Dirty Dancing. You should document this on Instagram. She's going to teach you how to dance and then you're going to be like, I am good at dancing. Fine, we can do one TikTok. I'm not going to do a TikTok. Somebody should see these moves. I'm telling you I'm not going to do a TikTok. Why don't instead of a TikTok, one of these?

One day we just clear out the area for the podcast. We can just dance? That would be sick. If you guys broke out the interracial TikTok on our Patreon, that would be kind of tight. If we just came and did a 30-minute routine for the Patreon. Holy fuck, that'd be good. Is it a type of dancing or what? Just let me sit here. Dude, that's even worse. Moral combat level. That's as bad as the singing.

What are you talking about? Dead serious dance to something. Dude, I'm going to get nice. Dead serious dance to something is fucking crazy. Stone Cold Sober? Almost impossible. Dude, I'm going to be taught by the best, dude. She's a professional dancer. Yeah, I guess, but that's just fucking crazy. If someone busts out of count, unless I'm completely inebriated, I can't fucking sit there and do dances, especially choreographed ones. Comes from the heart. No, not drunk. A little choreography would help you.

No. You need to trust your choreographer. Soulja Boy dance was huge when I was little. That shit was nasty. I got kicked out of mass for doing it. No, you didn't. Swear to God. They stopped the fucking mass and me and my cousin were in the back and like behind the glass. You're cranking it. Dude stopped there. I was literally going like...

We thought it was the funniest thing in the world. You guys better get in here or leave. And my cousin was like, fuck you. And then I got fucking dragged in. I was just looking at my... I knew my aunt was there. So I was like, fuck, I have to walk in. You guys getting in trouble? Yeah. You read the paper, you know what's going on with the churches, right? True. You guys are pedophiles. You probably shouldn't stop mass. Just let me soldier boy crank in the back. So who was at the mass? Did they give word back to mom that you were messing around? The whole mass stopped.

At least I went, dude. What are you talking about? Don't talk to me like that. No, I'm just saying. Matt's tired. He's getting a little cranky. No, I'm just saying. It depends. The dude's sitting there. I'm not. I thought he was questioning my fucking dedication. He was spazzing and I was like, dude, at least I'm fucking here. You were not saying Matt didn't. Matt went to mass. I judge me before I judge anyone else. Heard that. Let God do that. That's why lawyers and judges go to hell. True.

I just saw an Instagram and said that. Really? Yeah. Spade, are you thinking about doing TikTok dances? No, no, no. I don't like any social media. It freaks me the fuck out. You got to get an Instagram, dude. Nah, man. I got to learn how to start it. I'm just, I'm starting my whole life. Let someone just, let Billy just manage it for you. I can do that. Nah, nah, nah. Billy can manage it for you. I do great numbers, dude. You do? Yeah, dude. He can manage it for you. Dude, just set up PAs, dude.

Pussy appointments. Now you're talking my language. Yeah, no, I don't like it. It freaks me the fuck out. You don't want to have pussy appointments? No, Instagram, all that shit just freaks me out, man. I hear you. I don't like being out there. True. It just makes me feel weird. But dude, just get out there for two seconds. Let one of the babes take a look at you.

I also just want you on there so I can send you Lord of the Rings. I just love sending Lord of the Rings. If you don't follow anyone, you don't have anything to look at except the ads will get you. The ads? What do you mean? They just have ads for all the cool shit. Everything you're talking about. Hand up. For real? You can't put a set of huge ones in front of me. You want me to click it? He just made a pretty big accusation about you. It's not an accusation. He showed it to me. He's being honest.

I'm destroyed by Instagram with huge tits. Girls with no names with huge tits. Not famous ones. It's a fucking legitimate problem. Fake real. What? Fake real. Nats, bro. Usually now. He showed me in the car. Really? No one has been told. Just girls with giant fat tits. Really? They rule. That'll get you. All Bill's shit is just how to restore a 20-year-old truck and tits.

Fuck. And bodybuilders. And bodybuilders. There are a lot of bodybuilders. Men's physique. Awesome. I mean, this is what I'm into right now. I heard you're in a total whole body right now. Whole body workout? Yeah, whole body workout. Yeah, it's pretty good. We got to switch up a little bit.

Stop trying to do bodybuilding stuff because I'm 32 now and Spade's 42. We just can't do that. Because guys like us, we're natural. Yeah. You're the same age as my wife. Really? I like that. Nice. You know, dude. Yes. You're the same age as Brittany, dude. That's crazy. I know. It's crazy what that does. What? Young babes? Yeah. You a fan? Yeah. Yeah.

I have a sweet new bio myself. It's vampiric. Yeah, it's fun. I'm telling you. Just set up a landing page. Don't even look at it. Billy can manage it. Yeah. Start putting cool stuff up there.

I'm begging you to get back to the art world. I'm begging him, dude, to get back to the art world. I'm just getting myself together. Don't even look at it. Being away for that long messed me up. I went and I had a cool pool lesson with Earl Strickland and it changed my life. So all I want to do right now is just practice on my pool, work on working out, getting fit. You could think about posting your pool videos. I could. That would be sick, but I'm not that good at it. You should just wear a GoPro and fucking film your pool videos. Pool videos? Dude, please create beautiful works of art, dude.

Yeah, I'm just... Right now, step one is just my shell. We got to keep the shell going. Heard that, bud. Same to you, bro. Get good sleep. Jim, sleep's tough. I don't sleep very well. Yeah, try to stay positive. Yeah, my buddy Ricky said... No sidebars. Yeah, my buddy Ricky said if you have a kid, you just stop sleeping. Huh? If you have a kid, you just stop sleeping. You do. It's fucked up. Yeah. And then you get used to it. Then you start to... I saw a lady...

she's like it's like a grandmom was like this grandmom runs on caffeine and kisses and i was like for real no that's no cap at all dude that's nice i saw that and i was like no that's straight from ohio you do run on caffeine and kisses after a while it's pretty sick your skin just slowly dries out and that's it yeah where the did you find that caffeinated snorters

That's fucking crazy yeah, Matt Tom said it to me it's called bump it's good. Yeah, it's a caffeine Oh bump. Yeah, I know you've heard of all you party with it. No, I don't party that you should party with White powder goodbye do that at the top told me to replace coffee with it Yeah, it's no that is pretty sick do it at the gym next time we like you don't blow everybody

morning bring back the snuff box dude i think caffeine will like burn your nose though people snort it's not a place for ingesting i one time dude hand up i fucking cut cocaine with no-dose pills one time people were not happy they were like that hurt what the fuck was that my bus i bought some no-dose what's no-dose it's like speed trucker speed yeah i just crushed it up and i was like sick now i have so much cocaine now they were like that hurt me

Why did you do that? And I said, I'm sorry, guys. I figured they're the same. I was trying to be greedy. I'm a drug dealer. I just wanted to trick you for your money. I thought they'd be the same fucking thing. I'm like, oh, caffeine, you can't tell the difference. And they were like, that really hurt. Whatever the fuck was in that. That's probably what dudes actually do. Well, they act it. Now you can snort caffeine. True. Especially there. Maybe it's like the fuck. This is what you call native ed. True. Bump might sponsor you guys. I hope nobody buys bump, dude. I hope they really don't. Really?

Dude, it's like 400 milligrams. You'd be just like, cup of coffee, cup of coffee. Yeah. One of these fools is going to keel over. There was that bodybuilder that died from... Joe Estetik, don't you fucking do that. What? Joe Estetik didn't die from fucking caffeine. Oh, you talking about Joe Estetik? Yeah, he did. Dude, come on, man. He was drinking 30 fucking... He was drinking like 20 cups of coffee a day, dude. You think caffeine took down Joe Estetik? Real nice fucking... Just the top of the page, it's all you fucking read. He would do a liter of decaf coffee just because he loved that shit. Decaf.

It was decaf, I swear to God. Never been a more positive person on the internet. Really? And he died during the coffee? No, he was worried about his blood. He thought some shit was in his blood. He did. He had heavy metals in his blood. He got a fucking transfusion because he got his legs waxed and out of nowhere he started feeling fucking bad. Yeah, yeah. It's real. He got his legs waxed. Yeah. And then he got...

shit in his blood exactly legs then he had decaf a bit of a leg wax leg wax why do you get what rhymes with wax oh you're saying you got the backs yeah no we're allowed to talk about it i don't know if you guys are sponsored by pfizer or not

Not yet. I was sponsored by Pfizer. Yeah. No. Yeah. He died. He went to a fucking hyperbaric chamber allegedly and fucking had a heart attack or something. So they were saying from all the coffee. I was just getting a lift. Coffee. That is live. That is Pfizer. That's that's big for. Oh, because I read it. I was like, damn, this guy was drinking like. No. They're like his friends were concerned for him. No, it was a liter of coffee day of decaf. Oh, wow. That sucks. See, this is how this info works on literally really smart.

That's crazy. You're going to put Joe's tight. Joe said it's positive light in this world. He was, dude. He was so ripped too. And he got the Vax. It's these Joe aesthetic. Yeah. Zizbro. We're all going to make it. All of us. Here's the most positive. I love Joe aesthetic.

Yeah, Joe said it. He seemed like the man. They literally said his friends were concerned for him. Who? The coffee intake was too much. They said the coffee intake was concerning his friends. Some fucking article. His friends said it. Dude, why are you watching? You getting news on Snapchat, bro? Come on. Dude, it was a fucking bullshit. It was AP. AP? It was AP. Oh, it was AP. Absolute pussies. Yo, nice.

What do you think about this upcoming race? Who do you think is going to win? Fucking Trump. Dr. Shiva. Let's go. Dr. Shiva. Donald Trump. Let's go. I'm not voting. I completely went in. I'm never voting again. Why? Huh? It's a sham, bro. They literally said Joe Biden...

Had the most votes of all time. Yeah, I know. And then they're like, dude, you're fucking insane that you denied that. Yeah. And now they're stealing elections again and getting caught. There's a lot of guys out there. What about eight inches and thick? We were talking about the bar last night. Two nights ago, we were talking about... We were just recapping the whole COVID thing. It's very funny. Just like...

It's racist to say it was from the factory that they have there that makes it. Yeah. And it's not racist to say a Chinese guy ate a bat. And then... Everyone's like, that's a clown world. It's upside down, world. They just literally were like, no, that's racist. It's called a clown world. That's how they eat in those wet markets. He ate a pangolin and a bat. He munched on the pangolin. Asians do that. Everyone's like, yeah. Yeah, for sure. I think it came from a lab that did COVID vaccines. That's racist.

That's racist. I know this has been covered 10 million times. It really fucking pissed us off. It is really funny. You get so lost in everything that's happened, the amount of lies they've hit you with since then is insane. If you replay one of the lies, you're like, no way that worked. That's racist about saying it came out of the fucking COVID lab? What lie is going on right now that you don't even know? I'm sure there's a bunch. The election.

Oh, dude, dude, let's never get lied to again. I agree. I promise I won't. I won't lie to you ever. I won't lie to you. I don't think I've ever lied to you. History is just lies that are agreed upon. Who said that? Napoleon. This movie sucks. We're fucked, dude. Huh?

No, dude. The Napoleon movie sucks. We're going to fucking kill ourselves. I think this is just a speed bump into the greatness of all the good stuff that's about to come out. I mean, you know how they say there's all these quotes and money bullshit? The pendulum's swinging. I'm feeling it. The pendulum's swinging. Was this lib feedback you got that were like, the movie sucks? I think they give Napoleon if he wants something done right, do it yourself. Yeah, for real. I don't think it's political. I think it might be a bad movie. I hope not. True. I'm very, very excited for it.

Let's go to the movie theaters tomorrow to watch it. It's a woke mob, dude. Well, at least you got a fucking... Parisian mob. You have a low bar for it, so you're going to go there. You might be pleasantly surprised. IMAX? I've never seen a movie in IMAX. I don't think I have either. I saw it. I fucking walked in on an IMAX movie recently. Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs. It's all dinosaurs. Sorry.

I walked in on one of these. All right, you guys talk. Talk, talk, talk. No, no, no. I want to hear about the dinosaurs. No, no, no. I saw dinosaurs. Go ahead. I was telling you the same thing. I walked in on one. It might have been dinosaurs. It was pretty fun. Just walked in. I was like, holy shit. Walked right out. I wasn't supposed to be there. Tokyo Hotel. Let's go. I saw Oppenheimer, but I don't know why. Everyone was like, yeah, I see an IMAX. You saw Oppenheimer. Not Oppenheimer. He dressed up in a suit and topped out. I saw Oppenheimer. I didn't see Barbie. I'm not watching Barbie, dude. I heard it was good. I hate fucking pink shit. What's the last movie you saw?

The Creator. No, no. In theaters. Barbenheimer. It was Barbenheimer. You didn't even think about going to the double feature. No, but I didn't realize why dudes were dressed like that. I thought they were just coming from work. What? Like Oppenheimer? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My buddy got in GQ. My buddy's in GQ. EJ's in GQ. For what? For Barbenheimer being on the runway. Yeah. What? It's basically Barbenheimer. Yeah.

There's got a room in his house. Dude, pink was for boys originally. Pink was for boys. Don't do that. That's disinformation. See, this is where you get fucked up with Joe Aesthetics, dude. Pink was for boys. You are fake news. It's not. Look it up. Guardini, look it up. Pink was originally for boys. Why? I have no fucking clue. Maybe that's why that weird flag's pink and blue because it's boys and girls. I mean, I bet that's exactly why. Wow. What happens if you mix pink with blue? What color do you get?

Maybe like a weird lavender? Purple, probably. Yeah, some fucked up color. I don't really know. I'm trying to unravel a mystery. Gardini, did you find pink was for boys? Obviously. Of course, dude. What the fuck? What do you mean? Did you ever watch any Joe Aesthetics videos?

I read the whole article. No, you didn't. Dude, me and his friends were worried. Where's he from? What else did Reuters tell you? Where's he from? Where is he from? The Netherlands? I don't fucking know. The Netherlands? Where's he from? He's from Germany. He lives in fucking Thailand. I was close. He lives in Thailand.

Do you know how much money our money is worth in Thailand? Their money is called butts. Yeah, you got to have butts. It's worth so much fucking money. I think their money is butts, actually. So much money. Dude, Iceland, expensive as fuck. Kronos. Really? Thousands of Kronos, dude. Father of time. RIP, Grindavik. Pray for Grindavik. It's fucking... Why does he live in Thailand?

It's cheap as fuck. Yeah, you get very cheap rent. What else was he doing? He had a beautiful fucking girlfriend. I swear to fucking God. That guy could walk around the world any girl he wants in the whole world. He doesn't have to go to Thailand. Why'd he go there? Chilling. It's nice. It's tropical down there. It's cheap.

I don't know. I don't know who he is. You guys are stuck in this. Joe Aesthetic was up here. You guys are stuck in this. He was a goat. I've never heard of him. If you listen to the thing he did, that Bradley Martin podcast, him and Joe Aesthetic, you cannot love him. That was a great one. What's he preaching? Just be fucking positive. Get fucking swole. Nice. Be happy. Not...

make a fucking associated press article and say actually he died because of coffee died not because the experimental vaccine that's actually as high level they got backs they didn't even mention it dude oh obviously bro what the fuck you want me to do that's i just heard a bodybuilder die from coffee we need to trust we need to restore faith in journalism there's no true we need to restore our faith in journalism about the lady who died from uh panera she drank the fucking super supercharged lemonade

What is a college? I swear you got a college student who drank Panera's lemonade. There's 400 milligrams of caffeine. That's not doing it, bro. Yo, you know what? Has it fucked on a caffeine? It's not the kids wound up primes. I don't know. They're one of your sponsors. Shane loves prime. No, primes are caffeine. He collects all the, all the, I do. I go like that. I flip them over and I go, what are they like? Energy drinks. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just a sweeter Gatorade. Okay. Yeah. They get all fucked up on them. Yeah. They love flipping them. If the kids are on Adderall. Shout out to the crazy boys. Kids are on tons of Adderall. Crazy boys, crazy neighbors. Shout out to the crazy neighbors. Let's go. Get the follows up. What is that? Ohio gentlemen? They are. Now they're Florida residents. No. Honorary Ohio. Visibly Florida boys. Obviously. They're the best.

Busted backboard. Dude, if I had cameras, it would literally just be like, yeah, we're going to film ourselves doing backflips on the trampoline all day. Yeah. Can you do a backflip on a trampoline? I used to be able to, yeah. It's an age trick, son, man. Negative. I'll probably fucking kink my neck. Fall off with it. You ever get double bounce on a trampoline and kink your neck? It kills, bro. Oh! No, dude, dude, seriously, I didn't kink my neck.

Getting double bounce was fucking terrifying. How high do you think we bounce each other now? What? Now that we're all grown up, how high do you think we bounce each other? I jumped on a trampoline a little while ago and I could feel my heart beating. Every jump. If I got double bounce now, I would shatter everything in my knees. My knees would fucking explode. Getting on a trampoline. If I double bounce, I would tear everything.

We used to have family parties where it was like Steve and all those dudes. They were like Ajax. They were like this close to touching the grass with the trampoline and shooting people literally up into trees. Oh, it's crazy. It looked like you were walking into a dream. Just giants on a trampoline. Skyrocketing.

Dude, I used to be so scared on the tramp. They would double bounce us. The tramp was scary, dude. Oh, it's terrifying. If you're older cousins, we're going to sky you and just fucking hit you up. Because you're coming down and the springs are like, and then you just fucking nail that post. Oh,

Oh, yeah. I humiliated a humiliation ritual to O'Connor at Notre Dame. I made him get on a trampoline at the Airbnb. I was so close to talking him into a flip. Dude, you can do it. He was he usually had the he's athletic. He is.

O'Connor's very athletic. Yeah. I talked all this shit going to the trampoline park. I was like, I'm going to rip backflips here. It's fucking scary there because it's just like little squares next to each other. I thought I was going to do a misty flip into the fucking foam pit. Dude, no such thing. What's a misty flip? When you flip and turn at the same time. Imagine doing a 360 in the air and flipping. I can't. Misty flip. I literally can't. It's a misty. That's crazy. If you ever try to do a flip in front of your boys and pussy out, you're like, oh, that was a misty flip. I fucked you in the misty flip.

I'm going to do a flip. You've been doing flips in the pool up until recently, right? I was doing the gainer, yeah. Did you retire? I said I retired it and I pulled it back out. You mentioned retirement. You're like Tom Brady. Exactly. You retired from the gainers. You said, I still got one more. I was gauging myself. I was like, am I truly getting old yet? I'd rip the gainer. Your family was like, you got to spend more time with us. You can't keep doing gainers. You're like, what do you think got us our fucking house? True.

What do you think got us everything? These fucking gainers. It was sick. The day I watched my cousin do it and I was like, it was like, there's no possible way I can do that. And he was like, dude,

Just do it. Yeah, I jumped up in the air and threw my head back balls and was just kind of like For real was like it was pretty cool. It's like damn dude. I can't jump up there to a backflip I was in the Gator Club. You're in a Gator Club. Yeah, I mean when you're a little kid you I mean not I'm not I've seen you I've witnessed it I'm certain you can I was also I thought I was doing everything I just must have looked like a fucking idiot. I for sure I was like, I mean I skateboarded flips I skateboarded all the four years land straight on my back or stomach and

People would be concerned. They'd be like, are you all right? I'd be like, well, I just did a flip. I just did a fucking flip. Are you all right? That's all I did. I skateboarded for three years. I never did anything but an ollie.

It's pretty good, dude. You can do anything. I would drop in on little half pipes, and if I had to go down steps, I wouldn't ollie the steps. I would just go fast enough and raise in front of my skateboard down. My tails would hit the bottom, and then I was like, that was a good three set. That's good. I didn't know you were a skater, boy. Yeah, we were all skaters. They would never let me skate. We used to build ramps, but I didn't let you skate. You guys were like, yeah. They were like FDR. I couldn't have you falling and getting busted.

What? You fell and hurt yourself. You fell and cried. You're being trolled. No, dude. I would go for it, too. They would have skate competitions. You might be forgetting one of your cries, man. What do you mean? You might be forgetting one of your cries. Dude, I have a fucking... I have a photograph of me. It's so pussy. You run it out of your cheek like a tear would come out, but it's not crying. That's so pussy. You weren't... I'm not being a dick. You weren't good at skateboarding, so you were like, Bill, get out of here. I know I was a kid, bro. Yeah, but still, dude, you could have hurt yourself. They didn't tell that to Tony Hawk.

They let him skate the balls. We had a ramp like this fucking high we were going on. It was a four by four and a piece of plywood. It's too high. And then they had one rail that they would sit there and they would have sessions on it all night. I didn't want the skate life. No one would grind it. I didn't want the skate life for you, dude. I fucking love skating. What stopped you? You should have stopped. I literally could only ollie.

Could you hit a kickflip? So you didn't even suck at skateboarding. No, I could heel flip. I was good enough to be able to drop in on headlamps, but I couldn't do anything. I could 180 on a curb, 50-50 grind it, and 180 off. That was my biggest trick. That was my biggest trick. You could shove it and stuff. That's easy. Shove it, yeah. That was all day. I was a manualer. Were you like Rodney Mullen? I was like a young Rodney Mullen. Then I was like, nah, I'm not doing the same thing.

You never skated? - No, my friend did in my neighborhood. He was really good at it. - What did you do? - I don't know, we played basketball and-- - So you guys never got into extreme sports? - I tried, me and my friends tried skating one night in my carpeted basement. None of us could do it. And we were all like, "Skating's fucking gay."

It was Tony Hawk. The video game fucked us. Yeah. When that came out, it was like, we're all skaters. They got everybody, dude. That got fucking everybody. Yeah, I could... That was the one thing I couldn't do. You get in like dirt jumps on your bikes or anything? No. Dude, that was nasty. That is how you get so fucking hurt. I don't know how anyone gets into BMX. First of all, I never even came close to having a bike that was capable.

Really? My dad would get me the shittiest fucking bikes he could find. Like mountain bikes? No, I never had a cool mountain bike. Oh, yeah. Like I got like, no. Like a rally. Like shitty bikes. Like a mongoose looking thing? No, no. Like an Englishman. It's a real bike. It's a classic bicycle. Literally like an old person bike. Big ass front wheel. Some of them, they would either be...

It would either be a child's bike or some guy's bike that my dad gave. So my legs could either not touch it or I was on the ground. There were so many times I was riding a bike, the chains just exploded off. I just fell. We would go to the top of my hill and ride the bike down. That was very, very scary. That's all we ever did was just go down.

I mean, it makes sense because fate was telling me it was the fucking he got lead to sales of Toys R Us and they sent him to the bike shop. Yeah. It's probably so expensive to get a fucking bike. I never had a bike. And there were plenty. Yeah. I mean, I always had one, but it was always like I said, what were those things called? Like devil boards where you'd sit? It was like a little triangle. It was like a seat that you sat down on and put your feet up and held the handlebars.

No, you don't just get on them and shit. They're fucking. Yeah, they said the Shutskies had them. My bros are living in Phil's neighborhood. You shout out to the Shutskies. You sit on your fucking ass on this. It'd be this little like bicycle seat. You had like two little handlebars. Yeah. You just put your feet up and just fucking flew down a hill. Then just crashed into the curb. Jackass came out and I was very impressionable. Oh, yeah. We set up the cameras. Get her to meet him. Dude, fuck this. This kind of sucks. Let's go watch Jackass. Yeah.

I jumped into a bush one time. I was like, dude, I'm never doing this again. That's all we did. Jump off a shed or the small part of the roof into a bush. I used to jump off sheds pre-jackass when I was a little kid. Just climb up, jump off it, climb up. They teach parkour to kids now. Do they really? It's like a class, yeah. I have a skate park near my house and it's like for real poser central. It's beckoning. It's poser central. Yeah, but you got to go in and say beat it posers and fucking drop it. Go in there with a scooter, bro. I got to get aboard.

I wanted to carry yourself right they might think you're somebody true I think you're an agent putting my fucking knee out yeah I mean technically I am your lord of dog time true no I was looking it's kind of scary dude the fucking the terrain's pretty terrifying I might dude honestly like not saying that I could drop in on a handpipe right now but if you just gave me like some mounds and stuff and like sweet shit I think I would do it I can have this at the skate park near my house it's like an area that's just mountains that was one of my favorite bees or fibs we were watching we were watching

What's that? I thought Beezer was like a pro skater. I'm not saying he's not a good skater, but we were sitting there watching the X Games snowboarding. It was a giant half pipe, and he was like, I could drop in on that. We were just sitting there like, dude, no, you fucking couldn't. On a snowboard? Yeah. Dude, they're snowboarding so fucking hard. Yeah, and it was an Olympic. Dude, those things are huge. What's that guy's name? Sean White. Sean White. Sean White.

Isn't that his name? Yeah. We were watching him and he was like, I can do that. He did like a move. It was like Beezer. We were all, you know, just sitting there drunk. Beezer was like 42. He's like, I can rip a fuck. He's like, Beezer, you would explode. I've never seen you walk.

I don't know how he gets around. Have you ever seen him walk, honestly? Rarely. He's just in rooms. He's always just in a room. Like a vampire? Yeah.

Dude, I for real. Dude, he also can't swim. He cannot swim. He definitely cannot swim. He cannot swim, dude. That's all right. We shouldn't be putting this out. This is mean because he really vehemently defends his ability to swim. My thing is totally, I get it. He refuses to swim, dude. It's very easy to prove. True. That is some skater shit. What? Skaters never out swim and they're just always at the park. That makes sense.

That one time we went to the beach, he was wearing like DC sneakers, like skate sneakers and socks on. That's crazy. Yeah. Joining a beach is nice. Now I'm thinking about it, I don't remember him walking up. We were a fan. He does appear. True, he does. I can't picture him walking up here. He doesn't, dude. We were just sitting there and all of a sudden he was like, whoa, shit, what's up, dude? He was just in like full clothes on the beach. He might be a vamp, dude. Could be. Yeah.

He just does that vamp like flashes up on you. Beezer might be a vampire. It's like Interview with a Vampire. He just shows up. How hot do you think vampire girls are like in vampire movies? Super hot, dude. You into that? Yeah. Yeah, me too. You're dead. You can't get pregnant. I would give myself over so quick to turn me into a vampire. Vampire party? They would get me in two seconds. Vampire party's got to be a category. Oh, dude, for sure. I was actually thinking about that this morning.

vampire wife i was like yo fucking watch some tell some fangs i was gonna tell her watch some vamp stuff and get hot for me watch some vamp stuff and get fucking hot for me i'm coming and following that it works they like that stuff you're saying someone died from a 400 milligram lemonade they claim it dude they claim a lady just drinking two of these that's really dumb yep from what huh from what no she had a heart condition but she's so young how old was she

She's 21 with a heart condition and she died from caffeine. Yeah. Panera. Well, that's the thing, too. You drink. The bills are getting obliterated by heart diseases. Buffalo bills. Everyone that gets hit is like, I don't know what happened up there. Somebody got hot shots, bro. Somebody hot shot. I think it was the Jets. Yeah. J.T.S. I think the J.T.S. sent up some hot shots. I've only seen like four bills games and every single time I've watched. Every single game, someone's getting fucking.

They stop the game every game. Really? Yes, for like 20 minutes every time. That is funny when they're like, this has nothing to do with that. This happens all the time. It's like, dude, I've never heard of this happening. If you get hit perfectly, this will happen six times a season. That's what I was telling Tom. I was telling Tom, if we didn't just have all that pandemic and shit, you would be terrified of sudden death. You'd think there's like a fucking terrorist thing happening to people. You know what I mean? Everyone's going to have heart problems. Why is this happening? Freaky the fuck out.

Yeah. Like, microcarditis is up, like, 20,000% to every doctor. It's completely normal. This happens, like, everyone has it. They just don't talk about it that much. It wasn't us. You guys are like, it's actually medical malpractice number three. I do like how it just kind of ended, and one day they were like, we're good. Everyone was like, yeah, we've been just kind of doing our thing.

They're like, no, you're safe now. Exactly. They tried to revamp it. Literally, if you talk through it in complete, like not trying to be funny. Yeah. Like a guy ate a bat. That's racist. It did not come from the factory that makes the fucking virus. Yeah. Heart disease is up. Doesn't have anything to do with it.

COVID's done now. We all got it like fucking 10 times. Nothing happened. It didn't work either. We dramatically lowered our immunity. Allegedly. True. No, isn't it? It's pretty... It's been well...

These are the exact words to get you taken off YouTube. It's exactly what we're saying. Put the tape on the mouth, bro. You can say it didn't work as they first thought it would work because of the fucking variants, dude. Yeah. I was right there. I was like, these fucking variants keep throwing it off. I was like, of course. These variants are throwing off the whole room. These fucking variants are fucking up the whole thing. They fucked the whole flow up, dude. It was fine against the Beta B12Z6. You got to explain to the boys. This was one of my favorite onstage mats ever.

- Yeah, I was dying in a small room at the mothership not having a good time. - And it just happened. I mean, it's such a terrible event where it's like, you're there with your wife. I mean, we could do it tonight, but it'd be late. - Yeah, I'll probably fucking pass out. - But it was fun. - Tomorrow we'll be in town. - That'd be sick. - It was bad luck. My agent and his fiance who gave us this very wonderful candle. - I love candles. - Thank you. They were in town. Matt was there with his wife.

We have the three of us show up. His wife's there. There's just whenever that happens. And Adam, the guy books the fucking room. So I was just an added pressure of like, fuck. I thought I was just going to like try. I was going to try stuff out and like have fun. I show up there. I'm like, oh, shit. Yeah, I got to do good. Fuck. I'm like, God damn it. This sucks. And so I go up. I'm just not doing well. The first half of the set's not going my way. And I'm like catching myself doing that thing. You like disappear inside yourself. You're like, I'll just speed through this. And I was like, no, you can't do that.

So I started just fucking with the crowd. There's two people who are sitting next to each other, like elbows touching. I'm like, oh, you guys must be dating. And they were like, no, we're not actually. I mean, again, what else could go wrong? In the middle of bombing, being like, you guys, what's it like being a couple? We don't know each other.

So then all I did, I was just like, what the fuck? I'm like, dude, you've been throwing me off this whole time. You threw the whole fucking room off. It was so fucking funny. And then I got up, finally got a laugh and I sit my water and like the can went down and water splashed me right in the eye. And I was like, ah,

It was so fucking funny. And it was one of those like I was watching it. I was like, come on, man. Come on, man. There's nothing you can do. You got on stage. You've been talking about it. People are sour. They don't like you. Well, I'm used to just performing for God bless you guys and follow the fucking podcast, bros. So you get spoiled. Then you just go in front of people who don't know who you are and I'll come out and be like, oh, yeah. Like to say something.

You're literally used to it. You guys do have a lot of reach. I was in Ireland. I was walking along the Liffey. Some dude just goes, war mode. In Ireland. Then in Iceland again. It's kind of tight. That's where it fucks you up the most. Oh, yeah. Another country and someone's like, war mode. Bizarro. But yeah, now it's fun encountering just normal people. What is your fucking little bitch ass problem? That is you. That is you right now. What was that about? I don't know. He's being grumpy.

Are you sleepy? Not at all. Bill lost twice. I'm chill-acting. He's been very upset about the Madden. Now he's trying to win with words, you know? Absolute learning experience. What, with the Madden? You're not going to win every day, dude. Every day you get up, it's not going to be a double. You got to win once, though. Huh? You heard me, motherfucker.

Huh? No. That's when Bill gets tired. He goes, huh? What? If I lose at pool, my mental health is gone. Oh, yeah. You're telling me. I'm like a six-year-old that has been at the birthday party for too long. Get him out of the room. I'm like holding in a tantrum, like an adult tantrum. That Madden loss was. That was brutal. I got two real tough losses. What are you going to do? That was a really tough loss. I didn't suck, dude.

Scored on the last second and missing the two-point conversion on an insane... You should have scored. I know. The game actually glitched and didn't let you score. It's literally insane. Pretty tight. It's like you're running GameShark on it. Maybe I am. New grant that thought is coming out. Maybe I do. We have a game genie. Can't believe you guys are fighting when our Eagles won last night, dude. That was fun. That was a very big victory. That was awesome, dude. Comeback. We needed it, dude. The whole city needed it.

you know it's been a lot of bad shit happening in philadelphia yeah that's what i've talked about before but that always bothers me that's like this like what the hipsters with bad things happening yeah like the weird merch yeah you guys get gunned down oh it's about when trump said bad things happen in philly is that what that's from yeah but then they wear it like bad things happen in philadelphia it's like well it's not good it's cool for gentrifying people to wear a thing that's celebrating

yeah local gun violence it's fucking 313 it's so tough where i live pat nobody likes us and we don't care it's like no nobody likes you because you're a fucking pussy dude nobody likes us and we don't care there's like stores around me when i where i live that sold all that stuff get vaccinated just like it's got gritty on it oh i'm sorry did i upset you

It's like white pussies top stuff, dude. White pussies are fucking pissing me the fuck off. Nobody fucking likes us. White pussies. White pussies have had a near decade run of being complete fucking pussies. And in control. It might stop being cool. It's almost 10 straight years. The pendulum has not stopped. You put your finger at the dam of white pussies early on and almost bit it off. Yeah, dude.

I tried my best. You really did. Right when I moved to Philly, I was like, you guys got to stop being white pussies. And they're like, nah. They try to kill you. Yeah, they try to kill him with just white pussy methods. True. He was mean to me one time.

Yeah, that was funny. That's just not a way to live, bro. There's not a word you could say to me that I'd be like, dude, seriously, shut the fuck up. Like you say, yeah, that's kind of retarded. And like, you're not even thinking about it. People are like, dude, seriously, that's not cool. My cousin's retarded. I was like, is he good at shit? It's like, this is retarded. This isn't good. Is he good at shit or is he one of the like stationary ones? Cause the stationary ones are cool shit too.

I like all of them. I like the thing white pussies have been defeated a little bit. White pussies are, they're on the, this is where they're the most dangerous. They're a wounded animal, right? Yeah. This is when they're dangerous. It's like an old tiger, you know? True. The white pussies still have one more attack in them. You still see them out there on the airlines. They are all falling apart. They're fully mashed up. The white pussies got fucked by Israel-Palestine. Oh, yeah. Oh.

That's such a difficult one to be a white pussy on. True. They like to be bad things happening in Gaza. A lot of the white pussies are Zionists. So then there's a rift. That's what I said. That's what I was telling Spade that like there's all these like Twitter accounts that like make fun of all these people and this happened and it was just like an absolute blender and they have no idea

no idea. No one knows which side. I am just going to say this. People dying is bad. They've all got to be. It's like these hot girls in tight pants are protecting all these kids from Hamas. Body parts everywhere. What's happening?

I think they all... Might have been a mistake. No, no, no. The weirdest part is they all, like, all the white pussies will eventually fall off to either losing their mind trying to fucking turn into a girl or rape, like, they, like, sexually assault chicks. Chicks.

They all do. Dude, there is a lot of causation correlation with the pet. They're very pesty. The white pussies that we ran into, if you find them on the Internet now, they've all disappeared. Cockroaches, they've disappeared. But when you shine a light on them, you're like, oh, what the fuck happened, dude? Yeah. Why didn't you change your name to that? You changed everything. They're very policy. Dude, if I spent the last 10 years in my life,

my life that's rage quit i'd fucking i'd shake my ass this is what i'm saying like the internet did that because they could talk and say things that weren't to your face yeah true so it like ramped up a dark wolf inside them you don't feed that fucking fascist dude i don't even know what that means dude i'm doing an open mic i got 50 bucks for this

fascist no i'm like maybe a fascist is someone who works for their dad when they're 35 i guess i'm a fascist fucking capitalist pig anyway i'm sorry go fund me because the fucking capitalists are turning off my pico dude i i

i know there's a lot of sassy girls like anti-capitalist shit on yeah there's there's this one chick that i like know and she moved and all of her shit is like go fund me can't my friend can't make rent you guys gotta help them it's like dude get your shit together stop missing rent like this isn't good for you no one like this is bad it's like we need we need our like they'll get their surgeries paid for by go fund me all this shit yeah you're obsessed they're ultimate tricksters

What type of surgeries? Top. Needed surgeries? No. He's obsessed, dude. That's a tricky question. That is a tricky question, Bill, and I'm glad you brought that up because it is, and I was being a little insensitive. Yeah, but I really, at some point, the white pussies have to go by the wayside and let white bees come back. It could be a time for the white bees to rise up. If I had five more, like five years left in my life where shit just went back to normal, I'd be like,

What's gay? No way. That is pretty fucking retarded. Just in a deathbed. Rocking a chair. Don't touch the cast. Don't touch the cast. I have a fucking female nurse. Pussy. The doctor comes in. Yo, what's up, pussy? Sir, we're going to have you removed. Get out of here. You shouldn't have said pussy. You shouldn't have said gay.

We're not offering you healthcare anymore. I can't get over about getting angry and shit like that. Hearing someone... Like being out to dinner. Dude, being out to dinner and someone says something to you, you're just like...

You just go eating a Cobb salad. It's like, bro, chill. Like, just mind your fucking business. But it's girl brain. You're like, you're taking on girl brain. Because you're like, that's going to piss my fucking girl brain off. If you're out to dinner, though, also, you are in girl... I went to the... We both had a nice magical weekend where we went to the theater. True. Both of them. Matthew and I happened to both... And see, he's cultured already.

You dropped your marbles. You heard that? A little squeaky, dude. Legs crossed. Squeaker. A little buzzer beater. Matthew and I both had very cultured experiences at the theater. We did.

Matt's all Hamilton. I was on Broadway. Dude, that's the worst. I'm going to New York to go see Hamilton on Broadway. I'll say, at the beginning, I will say, it's so gay. Here's the thing. The beginning is just a never-ending Macklemore song. I'll take your word for it. Rap, rap, rap, rap, rap. Please, dude. You almost went to fucking, you know where, dude. Disney World? I told you I wasn't going to go.

You almost went though. They almost. I got out on a technicality. You got out on the wildest technicality. You got out on the funniest possible technicality. Here's the thing. I'm just collecting experience. I have a totally open mind. I agree. Matt, I've just had to take the opportunity to mock you for that. It was pretty funny. I knew the day was coming anyway. I knew my days were numbered, dude. So here's the thing. You evaded that for a long ass time. Hamilton? Yeah. Whose idea was that? My friend Wes's.

He set it up. Here's the thing. I had a good time. Dude, I went in there. I had a good time. Don't you fuckers. Did he bring his boyfriend? Huh? Dude, wow. That's gay. Wow, dude. I've really been jonesing to see Hamilton. It was a great production. You never hear his damn idea. He needs some sleep. This is a show. Come to New York and let's see Hamilton. You're being wretched. Dude, I'll be honest. I went in there. I said, I'm not looking forward to this play. I saw the beginning of it on TV with Brittany. I was just like, dude, I can't.

do this it's the worst how long did you last i might have gotten two minutes it was honestly about it was fucking insane she kept stopping and looking at my face and she paused and she's like what and i was like this fucking sucks bothering it's making me what do we do here's the thing you go to theater dude you get a pint they give you a pint of wine and you just sit there and you slowly start to sip it then they start they stop rapping at a certain point and then it's just beautiful songs and i was crying towards the end of it i'm not gonna lie

Dan, dude. They killed his son, dude. The woke mind about his gun. He told him to fucking shoot his gun and that was a beautiful message. He said, shoot your gun into the sky. Don't shoot the other guy. You shouldn't take human life. And he did it and the guy just was like, pop. Shot his son, killed him. Then Hamilton goes to do his final duel against fucking Bruce's face. Burr. Hamilton put his gun to the sky and Burr smoked him, dude. Just like, that was easy. He did, for real. Burr didn't give a fuck. Towards the end, they do have beautiful songs. I am a sucker for musicals. I didn't know Hamilton didn't

try to shoot him. Unless they just added that for flair towards you. Zero white pussies if there's duels. Yeah, true. Not saying we gotta bring them back. Matt, I was making fun, I also attended the theater. Dude, it was, it was actually sick. I saw Book of Mormon, which is, I swear to God, one of the hardest I've ever come. It was good. What? No, I laughed. I was laughing. I was crying laughing.

Laugh out loud for me. I was so happy. I was in the gate. When you go to the gate theater, it feels good. It's awesome, dude. I'm telling you, dude. I told Spade I like plays. This is nice. Plays are good. I know it sounds great. Also, it's Book of Mormon. It was literally a live South Park episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. South Park, yeah. Dude, I'm telling you, man. The first song they're singing about is fuck God. You guys don't cry at Hamilton. I'll give it up to you. At the very end, it was- Hey, man. Guardians almost got me. Guardians almost wrecked me in Spade. One seat away. Guardians. We were in the theater. If I was at my house watching- We were front row in the theater, yeah.

Me and Smeet were fucking chilling. We couldn't do that. I was throwing a row on Broadway, not bragging. I bought fake tickets for the balcony on SeatGeek and then I got there and they were like, we don't even have a balcony. I was like, fuck, dude. Where'd you sit? We got in the middle in the orchestra. Dude, I'm telling you, man, it was very beautiful. The songs kill me. See, we're just not cultured, you know?

No, it's just music, dude. You don't need to be cultured to listen to music. You guys are just preventing yourselves. This is a blockage. I like plays. This is a blockage. Reverse, reverse. I like plays. Good little reverse. That was good jujitsu. This is a blockage. What would fucking the guy who died from coffee think about this? I saw the Ebeneezer Scrooge. And now ground and pound, dude. Now he's ground and pound. He's in full mount. You know, the block is that's what they talk about in the Twin Flames thing. That's a cult mentality.

No, it's heavy emotional. Here's the thing with repression. Here's the thing with repression. It's not that your mind gets rid of it. You got to spend all that energy holding the lid on tight, dude. Like porn. Exactly. I'm still making a point. I saw somebody else jumped into the fight.

I saw the Ebenezer Scrooge play in grade school and I saw the Easter play that's up in Lancaster. It was fucking goat. I saw the Rockettes, but I was too young. I was wooded. Hamilton's problem is that they really... Hamilton isn't affected by the whole mind virus. Although, if you think about it, I'm super based. I was going like, damn, dude, these guys are praising...

The Fennec Fathers. Yeah. Reverse. Reverse. You're talking about colonial sellers. Brother. Go see Book of Mormon.

Is it good? It was so good. So the first half, I'm texting Matt. I've also got a vat of wine. I'm obliterating. It's great that they give you guys goblets. They give you goblets. You get a double, it's $500. Get a truant of wine. It's literally a pint of wine. For the wine.

But I'm watching it. I'm texting Matt. I'm like, because I went on Friday. He was on Saturday. I was like, dude, you're going to love the theater. The theater is gay as fuck. You feel it's very nice. I was like, I'm literally crying about how happy I am laughing at this. And then there was an intermission. I come back. I go to war with this fucking...

of a woman next to me. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's happening now? - Whole second half of the show was ruined 'cause I was battling. It was me. - For your seat? - No, it was me and Adam Egan, not gay to go with just one guy. - I went to the city gardens with Spade. - We didn't sit next to each other though. - There was an autistic woman next to me and then there was a drunk horse and her husband.

next to them. She's a girl. She's a giant horse, dude. If you saw this lady, you would know. She was for real. That's a mare? In heels, 6'6". Whoa. Before the first intermission, she's drunk. She gets up. She's talking the whole time. It's kind of fucking annoying. She gets up to go to the bathroom and just falls directly on me. She's like, sorry. And I was like, all good. I wasn't even mad at her then. I was like, sweet. That's all I asked for was a sorry name.

inconvenience. Yeah, of course. So when we get back from the intermission, she's hogging the armrest talking the whole time. The autistic lady next to me is like, I'm going for it. I was like, I have complete support.

She fucking drills the elbow. So now they're fighting. So now those two are fighting. The lady won't shut the fuck up. Adam E gets like, I'm going to say something. I was like, yeah, dude, say that. I support you 100%. He goes, hey, you drunk giant bitch. I was like, oh, no. What the fuck? It was the wine, probably. Yeah, then people were battling. What did the dude say? What did the stable master say? The jockey didn't say shit.

I was for real. I was like me and Adam. I was like, we're going to have to fight. We might have to fight in this. And then finally I was like, dude, that's not how you do it. This is how you do it. I was like, hey, can you hear? She was like, why are you talking now? And I was like, well, now I'm fighting you for the rest of this. Logic own. She owned me with logic. Then she kept on. I was waiting for her ass to talk again. I just went, shh.

I was hitting her with aggressive shushes. Oh my God. It was a shush battle because then I talked to Adam a little later and she's like, shit. I'm like, oh, you fucking bitch. And nothing came of this? Nothing came of it. At the end, she turned around and I was like, yeah. That was it. Oh my God. At the very end, we went our separate ways and I was like, she's going to turn around. She's going to be rubbing your dick. You're going to be squeezing your dick. I literally, I wish. Dude, anything can happen on wine. Wine's a weird drunk. Yeah. True.

It got very aggressive. I had natural wine for the first time in Paris with your friend Sam Talent. Dude, that's a weird high, bro. Wine? Wine fucking rules. All I wanted to do was drink more of it. Yeah, that's alcohol. That's going to work. Yeah, that's how it works. Give you a little cocaine. I had a nice cut off. I had my two tequilas yesterday and I said... You're very good at that. I don't know what it is. Again, it's all to the vape pen. All power go to the vape pen. If you get stoned enough while you're drinking, your brain, your stoned brain is like, dude...

Let's go home. Yeah, make sure the weed wins. Yeah, you have to. It's a tough battle, though. Light always wins. Because eventually when the weed starts to win, it feels like, you know when you laugh really hard and you're like pressure inside your cheekbones? I'll just get that feeling out of nowhere and be like, I'm going to have an all right time tonight. I'll be all right. That's nice. I'm going to make it. You did have an all right time last night. I had a blast. Sorry for making fun of you on the intro. I remember that. I didn't even realize I came in. What did I even say? I was like, yo, what's up? You're like, hey man, how you doing? I was like, all right.

You get like a natural like entering a party. Uncomfortable entering a group of people. Yeah. Hey, man. How you doing? It wasn't... Walking in, I was fine. I was fucking shaking from the bar entrance. I caught you, bitch. Dude, I had to walk into that bar and I just like didn't... I was like, where is everybody? I saw a bunch of people looked at me and I went like...

And I like walked to like a year for the Eagles game. I like walked to like, I was going, maybe that backyard's out this way. And I like walked almost behind the bar and was like, excuse me. And then I just like walked and like just stood there and started looking around. I like tapped a guy. I was like, can I get outside? He's like, yeah, it's through the door. I was like, yes, thank you. And that bar was weird when you walk in. That was a cool bar though. Someone at the door? Yeah. Huh? Yo, dude. Come on, man. Come on, man. Yo, that smells, dude. What time are we at?

I'm about to bust your ass in Madden, dude. I'm about to cum in you. I'm going to cream pie you in Madden. For what you've just done to disrespect. Sounds like you already did. That's great. You made me look like a fucking idiot, dude. There's pie. No, I barely looked, dude. I fully turned my neck. I saw. I fully turned my neck. If I was in your seat, I would have looked. Then I strolled me back. God damn it. I will find that horse woman. So.

I'm mad at her again right now. After the show, me and Adam walked around trying to find her. Did you? We hated this one. He called her a giant bitch? She didn't hear it. He literally was... I cut him off. He goes, hey, you drunk giant bitch. I was like, dude, what are you thinking?

He literally was like, time to play. He's like, I'm going to say something. She should be quiet. I was like, yeah, dude, say something. It's fine. Hey. No. Yeah, he does rule. Out of me, it's very funny. He's the funniest dude. Why are you talking reversals nuts? Why are you talking while being asked to be quiet? I mean, that's standard girl attack. That's girl infantry.

First issue. Well, you're actually talking too, so what does that say? She would have been a problem if she got going in there. Female artillery? You would have had to swing. Oh, yeah. You would have had to put her down. You'd have been within your right.

Getting girls activated would be a fun YouTube of just finding women and just being like... Just shushing them at shows? Yo. Any comedy show, a lady loses her fucking mind. Oh, my. They explode. Somehow they never know why they're being shushed. They're the only ones talking every show. And the real problem is they're white pussy fucking boyfriends. Can you imagine taking your girl to a show and she's talking the whole fucking time? And somebody comes over and says, please be quiet. And you let your girl talk shit to them. And you're like...

Yeah, babe, but for real, could you please? My girlfriend's dad was just talking about this. What? His neighbor, when they were kids, they would just be swimming in the pool and shit. And he would come out, it would be like 7.30 in the summer. And he would have to come out and yell at them, like, dude, can you guys stop being so loud? We have a kid inside and all this stuff. And then the dude got divorced.

and ran into him it was like yo man i just want to apologize for always like having to say shit to you that was 100 my wife i did not want to say anything he was just like a sacrificial lamb having to yell at the neighbors just to make her stop oh dude that sucks yeah you gotta level with the other you gotta tell him that right away

The reason I'm yelling is because please fucking help me. Yeah, that's an easy one, man. Dude, Brittany will send me out. We used to live on like 16th and Girard. I'd have to go to like an active like drug house and be like, hey, guys, could you maybe give my I would always give me a little. Just a scotch. Thank God they're always cool because I would go up there just like harder. You're going to get shot like, hey, guys, how are we?

Yeah, that's my girlfriend over there. She's trying to sleep. They were being extremely fucking loud. Can you do me just a little kindness? Yeah, if you approach that, cool. Usually you get a good response. And I would say... Who says Lil Wayne? Love it. Turn it down a little bit. Weezy. It's good stuff. It's huge.

Well, a little tinchy. A little tinchy. Speaking of tinchy, could you turn it down a skinchy? And also, I know you're selling drugs out of the state. I know you're selling drugs out of here. Also, you're selling drugs all over the authorities right now. I am the authorities. Same birthday, same birthday. All right. We've hit a wall. We did. God bless you. Warm Up Podcast, train by day. What was that guy's name again? Shout him out. Guy who died from cataract. Joe Static, baby. Say sorry.

IP, baby. Just say it. For real, everything we said about the Vax, we were joking. Obviously. Get vaccinated. Literally, stop fucking around. Don't fuck around. Do it. It's not for you. It's for the other people. No, you can read the studies for yourself. They had like eight participants. They skipped testing on humans. That's debunked, actually. We're all joking the entire time. Jokes. Jokes.

That's your fucking rule. Do you have any final thoughts to the viewers? Do you have anything to say to everybody? I'm just hanging in there. I got one thing. Don't fart. What do you call an alligator that wears a vest? An investigator.

Let's go. That's fucking good. That's good. Taking notes. Let me get into Starship, bro. We built this city. I hate you, dude. You're not allowed to go into the Starship. You're not allowed in the Starship. Sorry. Beat me up, Scotty. Goodbye. We built this city on cock and balls.