cover of episode The Conversations that Bring Us Closer

The Conversations that Bring Us Closer

2025/2/17
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Hidden Brain

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#conflict avoidance and confrontation#conflict resolution techniques#emotional intelligence#psychology discussion#personal growth and resilience#self-awareness and introspection#psychological techniques#emotional management#literature and publishing People
A
Alison Woodbrooks
S
Shankar Vedantam
Topics
@Shankar Vedantam : 在日常生活中,我们常常会遇到需要进行艰难对话的场景,例如告诉别人他们对我们不好,要求加薪,或者拿走年迈亲戚的车钥匙。这些对话之所以艰难,是因为我们常常会回避它们,或者在对话中无法有效地表达自己的观点和情感。本期节目将探讨如何克服对艰难对话的回避,以及如何运用心理技巧来更好地进行这些对话。 @Alison Woodbrooks : 我自己也是一个回避者,我非常理解为什么这么多人会回避艰难的对话。我们常常会避免与难以相处的人互动,或者避免那些预先感觉会很困难的话题。例如,我小时候看到我的爷爷为了避免和欠租的房客谈话而躲在灌木丛里。这种回避行为虽然很常见,但我们需要思考是什么导致我们回避,以及回避的原因是否合理,是否会阻碍我们建立更深层次的关系。现在,我就可以和我的学生谈谈,我对他们目前的表现感到失望,这不仅会影响他们的成绩,还会影响他们的学习以及我对他们的看法。但我通过让我的助手给学生发邮件,告知他们缺少的作业来避免与他们进行艰难的对话。

Deep Dive

Chapters
This chapter explores the commonality of avoiding difficult conversations and delves into the reasons behind this avoidance. It highlights the tension between honesty and kindness as a major factor in this evasion.
  • Common avoidance of difficult conversations
  • Tension between honesty and kindness
  • Reasons for avoidance: hurt feelings, misunderstandings, unhappiness

Shownotes Transcript

Last week on the show, we looked at the science of conversation, and how even ordinary chats can involve a delicate dance of coordination. This week, we explore the discussions we all dread: the tough ones. Telling someone they treated us poorly. Demanding a raise. Taking away an elderly relative's car keys. We talk with Alison Wood Brooks about what makes difficult conversations difficult, and a series of psychological techniques to help you navigate them.

If you missed part one of our conversation with Alison, be sure to check it out! It's titled "We Need to Talk."  Shankar also mentioned our episode with Julia Minson, in which we discuss how to keep conflicts from spiraling. You can find that conversation here.