cover of episode Marching To Your Own Drummer

Marching To Your Own Drummer

2025/2/24
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#conflict avoidance and confrontation#psychological techniques#personal growth and self-discovery#power dynamics#anxiety and stress management#personal growth and resilience#self-exploration#educational People
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Shankar Vedantam
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Sunita Sah
Topics
@Shankar Vedantam : 我们常常在思考,如果置身于历史上的重大事件中,例如二战或卢旺达种族灭绝,我们会做出怎样的选择?我们会选择勇敢地反抗,还是选择沉默地服从?许多人都有过这样的疑问,我们倾向于认为自己会做出勇敢的选择,但实际上,我们可能更倾向于服从命令。 我们都经历过既感到自豪又感到后悔的时刻,前者是我们勇敢地做了正确的事,后者是我们选择了沉默和懦弱。这些经历促使我们去探究为什么我们会选择沉默,以及如何才能将我们的言行与我们的价值观统一起来。 @Sunita Sah : 我在医院就医时,尽管知道CT扫描并非必要,但由于害怕冒犯医生而未能拒绝。这让我意识到,我们常常因为害怕冒犯他人或被认为不友好而选择服从,即使我们知道这样做是不对的。 我的朋友Rick在接受按摩时,尽管感到疼痛,却因为害怕冒犯按摩师而没有提出异议,最终还付了小费。这再次印证了我的观点,我们常常为了维护表面上的和谐而牺牲自己的利益和感受。 从小,我就被教育要听话、礼貌、服从权威,这种教育模式让我在成年后难以表达自己的不满和拒绝。将“好”等同于“顺从”会让我们将“反抗”等同于“坏”,这种观念影响了我的行为模式。肯德基麦当劳的案例说明了逐步升级的服从是如何发生的,员工们一开始只是小步地服从命令,最终导致了严重的后果。 “暗示焦虑”是指人们担心不顺从会被人解读为不信任,从而导致他们选择服从。渡轮实验表明,即使人们知道建议者有利益冲突,他们仍然更倾向于服从建议,尤其女性更容易受到“暗示焦虑”的影响。伊拉克战争中,年轻海军陆战队员Matthew在目睹朋友被杀后,服从了上级的命令殴打俘虏,这体现了群体压力和“偏好伪装”现象。 在危机时刻,内心的紧张感可以作为警示信号,提醒我们应该反抗不公正的行为。在面临压力时,给自己留出时间思考,可以帮助我们做出更明智的选择,避免盲目服从。提前预知并准备可能面临的压力情境,以及通过第三方获得信息,可以降低服从的可能性。通过自问“我是谁?这是什么样的情况?像我这样的人在这种情况下会怎么做?”三个问题,可以帮助我们更好地理解自身价值观,并做出符合自身价值观的决定。

Deep Dive

Chapters
The episode explores why people often fail to stand up to unjust rules and authority, from dictators to petty workplace tyrants. It examines the reasons behind self-silencing and how to align words and actions with personal values.
  • Many people fail to stand up to unjust rules and authority.
  • Self-silencing is a common phenomenon.
  • The episode aims to explore the reasons behind self-silencing and provide solutions for aligning words and actions with personal values.

Shownotes Transcript

What would you have done? It's one of the most enduring questions in psychology. We all like to think that in a moment of crisis, we'd rise to the occasion and show courage. And yet many of us have had experiences where we followed orders and did what we were told to do. This week, we talk with psychologist Sunita Sah about the reasons why many of us silence ourselves and follow orders, and how we can align our words and actions with our values.

In today's conversation, Shankar mentioned our episode with Timur Kuran, in which we talk about self-censorship and a concept called "preference falsification." You can find that episode here. And if you'd like to try Hidden Brain+ and hear our bonus conversation with Sunita Sah, you can sign up for a free trial at apple.co/hiddenbrain or support.hiddenbrain.org. Thanks for listening!