Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 4 Episode 3
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Please remember to pig out responsibly. Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chums. A six-part series with Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Let's get started. Well, here we are. Summer S'mores, episode three at Sona's house. Maybe we should start this episode by putting another log on the solo stuff. Yeah, log it up. Log it up. Log it up.

You have a nice yard, Sona. Hey, thanks. I think I want to do some stuff to it, but you know, I like it. How long have you lived here now? Four years. We moved here right before COVID, right before the lockdown. Remember you said, should I buy a house? And I said, I think you should. There's going to be a pandemic. Remember? Yeah. You said those exact words and it wasn't, it was like two years before it even happened. I'm always looking ahead. I had done, I had my ear to the ground. I

I knew stuff was brewing. And so, yeah, I remember coming over here and you've done some very nice. The place looks great. You know, it's it's nice. It still needs a lot of stuff. Your house is beautiful. It's wonderful. Oh, I appreciate that. But I need new bathrooms. Can you just do it? What do you mean? I'll just pay for it if you want. Yeah, that's what I'm asking. I want to give me money. Guys, I want to redo my bathrooms. I want a bath. I want to.

What's wrong with the bucket I gave you? It's full. You're supposed to empty it occasionally, you idiot. I don't need a bathroom. I get it. Okay. You didn't understand how the bucket works. It's full. Well, I guess I'll never excrete anything again. I have a tremendous stomachache. Also, I don't know this area as well. It's a very different area of Los Angeles, so it's nice to get here. Yeah, it is. Altadena, next to Pasadena, where you live.

Christmas Tree Lane is here. Why do they call it Christmas Tree Lane? It's amazing. There's these big deodar trees. I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right. And they put lights on all of them, and it's this...

long street and you're driving down, it's like you're driving by a bunch of really tall Christmas trees. It's beautiful. Okay. This, this just, it's like therapy. It just sparked the memory. So when I was a kid, we used to have, uh, just regular Christmas trees, you know, sawed off Christmas tree and you put a little water at the base just to keep the needles green for whatever, 15 days, 20 days until it would start to die. And then you'd toss it out after New Year's. So,

So then I remember sometime in the mid-70s, my dad, who was always trying new things, found out that you could get a Christmas tree that had the root ball intact. And that way, and he said, this is amazing. It's fantastic. We're going to have our Christmas tree have its root. We're going to bring in a live tree with its root ball. Right.

Listen to this. We're going to bring in a live tree with its root ball into our living room, and then we're going to plant it in the side yard after we're done, and it will live with us forever. And over the years, the different trees that we have will create a forest. Now, I need to explain to the listener that we have really no side yard. No.

Our side yard is like a 40, it's a 45 degree angle drop. And before you get to the Strom's house who are next door, it's a 45 degree, it's like a cliff and it's very narrow. I mean, maybe, maybe it's 15 feet across if that. And so what a lush forest. And so my dad, sure enough,

Christmas is over and we all had to haul this tree out to the... Even the birds are laughing at this story. We had to haul this... It's true! It's true! He's off to tell the other birds. You won't believe it. This guy's dad was an idiot. So we would then have to dig a hole

You actually did it. Yeah, we would have to dig a hole and it was really hard ground. And my dad was like, come on, hurry up. And I'd be like, I just want to play with my Christmas toys. Hurry up. So we'd dig it and we'd put the tree in the ground. We did this for like five Christmases in a row until they would always leave soil all over the place. And my mom was always furious and saying, Tom, Tom, there's soil all over the place. The tree, it'll shelter us. There'll be a forest.

And finally, my mother said no more of this because I think one year the root ball completely exploded and there was just soil all over the first floor of the house. So that killed that. But anyway, those trees, they never did shit. No? Like they died pretty quickly. I think there's one or two that are still there. But they look like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree and it's been like 35 years. So you go back home and you see the trees that you planted a long time ago and they're still...

kind of there i try here's what's funny i go back to visit my parents still live there my brother neil is there and i try to go and every the other last time i was there i tried to go into the side yard and first of all it's like descending it's like descending a mountains in switzerland and i you need to tie a rope around your belt to go down and i go down and i'm just looking at these little oh hi there like it's not the mighty tree my dad thought it was gonna be oh it's not a

No, it's not a forest. But that's a nice idea because otherwise you cut it. First of all, did you guys go get the trees yourselves? Yeah, it was 1720. Okay. And we would get in a sleigh and we would go out and get the trees ourselves. No, we went to a lot like everybody else. I didn't know that they did that with the root. What is it? It's a root bulb? A root ball. Root ball. I didn't even know.

I didn't even know that existed. But I also... Well, any tree that's transplanted has a root ball, you know? I did not know that. Or a plant. Okay. Matt, you understand these things, right? I suppose I do. Okay. Wait, you know what a root ball is? You've heard root ball before? I feel like you're going to be mad at me if I say yes. Yeah, have you heard the word root? You have to just be honest. Have you heard the term root ball? Matt, when she's this out of control and this wrong, you have to stand up to her. This out of control? Yeah.

I'm not wrong. I've just never heard of the word, the words root ball. I don't know what that is, but okay. I'll just, anyway, I'll take your word for it. Yes. Uh, basically the roots are still intact and they sit in a, a ball of soil, a burlap sack, if you will. Yeah, I do know what that is. I was trying to picture. You didn't know what it was though. I don't think I did. But then when I, the burlap sack thing. You're the, you're the weird one. Who knew what a root ball was? Everybody here. Did everyone hear?

Yeah, a lot of people are saying yes. Stop. No, nobody knows. You invited your neighbors to come listen. Yeah. And your neighbors just showed up and they all gave the thumbs up. Thank you for showing up. I love that. You guys should go now, probably. I'm so glad that... Root ball. It's my neighbors that live on Common Sense Lane. Ha ha ha!

Anyway, isn't it funny how all I heard was Christmas tree lane and it took me on this memory lane of my dad saying, I've got an idea. Our Christmas trees will create a magical forest. And he was wrong. He was just wrong. Do you think he'd ever be like, I was wrong about the trees? My father admit he was wrong? Yeah. No. Oh. Anyway. Where'd you get...

Yeah. Did that get passed down at all? It sounds like it was passed down from your dad. Sounds like someone got a trait from his dad. You can't share your parents. Can't admit you're wrong. Gene was passed down from the mother. Any geneticist will tell you that.

That's just common science. Do they still get Christmas trees? Do I? Do your dad and mom still get Christmas trees? Yeah, there's still a Christmas tree there. A real one? I went fake a couple years ago. Oh, no, no, no, no. We would never do fake. Yeah, I wouldn't either. I would never do fake. You do fake? Yeah, I do fake. That's gross. That's blasphemy. That's a sin. Oh, you guys have a fire hazard in your house and you have to go buy one from an out...

What do you mean? You mean get to go buy one. And then you put it on your car and then you drive home with it. What do you have? You have something that inflates? It is in a box. It could be Christmas at any time in this house. It's in a box in our garage. That's sad. And you know what? I think everyone here thinks you're sad. That's just sad. It smells like plastic. Oh, another poll. Nobody else here does a fake tree? Thanks, Sam. Hey, my neighbor's coming through.

through for me this time. It's one to one. Nice. Who else? Yeah, David too. We win. No, you don't win. Yeah, I do win. You lose because you don't get the fragrance. If you have a fake tree... You can fake the fragrance. No, no, no. If you have a fake tree, it's just... You're just saying, I don't want to live life. I choose not to live life. I agree. You know? I hate that I agree, but I agree. And this is like the s'mores thing. Yeah. When you're right, you're right. Yeah. It's just... I'm not right a lot, but I mean, like, I'm in the upper 90s, but...

But when I am right, which is 98, 99% of the time, I am so right. It's crazy. It's off the charts right. And you have to have a real tree. That just, it's... You don't have to have a real tree. That's part of the spirit of Christmas. So where did you buy this thing? Also, what happens to your tree after? Where did you buy it? Where did you buy the tree? Target. Home Depot. Oh, my God. Oh, that's a nice tradition. Yeah.

It's not a tradition. You buy it once. That's the good thing about it. You buy it one time and then you have... I grew up with a fake tree. We're fake tree people. Oh, that explains a lot. What is... What? You guys have a tree in your house. It dies and then you just toss it. You know what's interesting? What a waste of a tree. You know what makes me sad? The Armenians are the oldest Christians. They are.

We're the oldest Christian nation. 301 AD. You guys should be representing real trees. You shouldn't be going to Home Depot and getting something that, by the way, I'm going to check it out. I bet you what you got is a bicycle rack and you think it's a tree. You're putting lights on a bicycle rack. How do you know it's a tree? I couldn't.

Because it's a tree. I don't know. It's a tripod with a couple of things coming off of it. I'm not going to confuse a tree with a bike rack. It's a hat rack. Here's my question. It's a bike rack. You brought up Christianity. Where in the Bible does it say you have to get a real tree for Christmas? Page one. Does Christmas even exist in the Bible? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Of course it does. It talks about, oh,

New Testament says yes and ye shall get the tree the tree shall be of the earth of God made the tree shall smell of fragrant cream I'm gonna tell your mom that you're making shit up for the Bible you shall be smiting and smitten

And God chased Abel because Abel had a tree that was made from Home Depot. I don't care. Out of rubber and steel. Don't you remember? Have you ever read the Bible? No. Okay. All right. I love someone who's shouting about, show me in the Bible where it says. Oh, you proved me wrong. Sorry. I didn't know that. Wrong, Safji. Oh.

I didn't know that the Bible mentioned Home Depot. Where'd you get the hard G? Home Depot? The important thing is that we're all here together and it's not Christmas. Did you know that our sponsor, Whistlepig, is the world's leading independent American whiskey brand? Did you know that? I had no idea. I could tell.

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Some trips are better in an Airbnb. It's just true. Like the trip you want to take with extended family where you want to stay close, but not all be sharing one bathroom. That's key for me. Okay, that's why Airbnb is the choice I often want to make. Or, for example, the couple's getaway where you'd rather have your own pool than share one with a bunch of strangers. Ugh. When I'm in a pool with strangers, I start shrieking. Oh.

Okay, that's weird. Or that last-minute local getaway when you just really need to get out of the city for the weekend but don't want to deal with the airport. You know, I have to say, I've used Airbnb a couple of times, and it always makes me feel like I'm at home even when I'm away. Do you have that, Herb? I do, too. I mean, you know, I have two small kids who are loud, and so when I'm in a hotel, I feel a little uncomfortable. Well, you're loud, too. Oh, yes. Okay.

Okay, yeah, we're all loud. And then in an Airbnb, I just feel much more comfortable traveling. You're not as self-conscious. No. Yeah, and also you're staying in someone's home. It's got that vibe of comfort, relaxation, normalcy instead of some stuffy hotel. Yeah. I don't want a mint on my pillow. Yeah.

Hey, Blay, you use Airbnb, don't you? I do. I love it. And I will say, staying in someone's place really does add a lot. I'm a huge Stephen King fan, and the last Airbnb I stayed in had this book, From a Buick 8, which is one of the few Stephen King books I haven't read. So I actually started reading it in the Airbnb. It was pretty awesome. And you know what I do sometimes when I'm at an Airbnb? I often travel with a picture of myself in a frame. Oh, boy. And I take it out, and I put it up, and it feels like home. Yeah.

I travel with my own framed headshot. Do you leave it there as a gift? No! That's mine. Those things are precious. So if you're booking a trip soon, my number one tip is to check out Airbnb first to find the perfect place to stay because your accommodation really does make all the difference. Hey, NFL fans, you can start the season with a big return on FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook.

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Hey, it must be beautiful here at Christmas in Altadena, huh? It is really pretty. Are there any special traditions here in Altadena at Christmas time? Christmas tree lane! I know, but what... I mean...

besides that? Well, the lighting of Christmas Tree Lane is really fun. Does it happen at a certain moment? Yeah, it happens. We went this past year. You go and there's like a lot of like food trucks and little things. You know what's weird though? And then it just, at a certain time, it just lights up and it's so cool. But there are hours. It's like closed at certain points, you know? Like they don't light it up. It's not going to be on all the time. Hey, I have a question. Do you ever get snow up here?

yes you're at a higher elevation i bet you get some snow do you remember when it was cold as balls i don't remember when it was cold as balls no no remember when it was very cold remember when it was so cold in la and then it was like insane i love it and it snowed here at one point that's great that would make me happy i love snow i don't need it you've

You have to shovel. You want to shovel snow? No one shovels snow in L.A. You wait 10 minutes and it goes away. Yeah, but when you lived in snow, did you have to shovel it? Was that a chore for you? Yes, I had to go shovel out the driveway. We had...

our house neighbor, the Murphy brothers. The Murphy brothers were Irish guys from Ireland. Oh my God. So we would shovel out our driveway while they... That's too much Irish. So you have the Stroms and the Murphy boys. Yeah. Stroms Jewish family, Murphy brothers on the other side were these Irish brothers. They would be shoveling out their driveway and...

My mother would send me, Neil, Luke, whoever down to shovel out our driveway. And that's where I learned what a real Irish accent is. Because I thought that the Irish accent was Lucky Charms, Elf. Yeah. You know, oh, because she'd be Gora. Oh, that's what I thought from cartoons an Irish accent was. And these were real guys from the countryside in Ireland. And I go, oh, hello, Mr. Murphy. How are you? I'll tell you. You wouldn't know who he is. Well, you wouldn't. I'll tell you who he is. Hey.

I'm like, what the fuck is that? It's a bunch of... It's like a pirate whose jaw is broken. And that's how... And then you go to Ireland, it's like, if you go out to the countryside, that's how they sound. That's an Irish accent. Anyway, sure, I did my time. I grew up in a different era than you, Sona. I'm 110 years old. People shovel their snow now. I mean, I'm just saying, I didn't know... I can't see you out there, like, doing...

manual labor like that. You had to back then. Okay, I didn't know that. It's just something I can't picture. Back then, you had to do things. You just had to. Do you ever get out in your yard now and kind of pull weeds or, you know, prune hedges or anything like that? Do you do any kind of manual? Are you alive? What I do, I'm in a room. When I say a room, it's more of a hyperbaric chamber. Okay. Let me paint the picture for you. Okay. In the morning, the timer goes off and my chamber opens. Okay.

all the steams and gases come out. I climb out my pale flaccid body. A robe is applied by several attendants. Okay. Then I go to a big, I sit in a chair and I have my morning gel. I just have a little gel that I can have out of a pack.

And then I sit and I look at a screen and I see hundreds of workers working on the compound. Oh. And I suspiciously watch them about their tasks. Okay. And every now and then I point with my gnarled old finger to one area that I think needs more tending. And people are dispatched to tell the workers in that sector 7G what to do. I was going to say, you're turning into Mr. Burns. You are becoming him. Yeah.

When you guys get a Christmas tree, do you go out as a family and get it? Or do you have somebody for that? We go to Home Depot. Well, first of all, not you. And you go to the garage. See, this is where I criticize Sona. This is where you criticize me? Hold on, listen. That's all you do. You went to Home Depot once every year. Every year at Christmastime, come hell or high water, I call my agency, William Morris Endeavor, and I say, it's tree time.

Rick Rosen calls the literary department, calls the film department. The film department calls someone who works way, way, way down in the bowels there, and they go out and they get a tree. Okay. And they bring it to my house. Oh, man. And they also have to bring a B-list actor, too. Like who? Who have been some in the past? Well, Chad Michael Murray. Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez.

You had his name teed up. It wasn't teed up. The guy I come down every year and he's pointing the lights on. It's because you're obsessed with One Tree Hill a little bit. I'm always like, good job, CMM. And he's always like, no problem, Mr. O'Brien. And I say, hey, it's Dr. O'Brien.

And then I say, hey, weren't you married to one of the cast members on One Tree Hill for like a brief time? And he goes, who, Sophia Bush? And I go, yeah, but it was brief, right? And he goes, yeah, kind of brief. And then he says, how come you know so much about this when you're kind of an old guy, Conan? And I say, well, I'm a bit of a perv. And Chad Michael Murray says, yeah, but I mean, were you even watching One Tree Hill? And I said, yeah, I had a One Tree Hill poster. Yeah.

that I had Sona get for me. It was in my office. I know all about One Tree Hill, Sophia Bush, and your marriage to her. Now, hey, why don't you put a star on top of the tree, Chad Michael Murray? Let's go, buddy boy. You know, we're losing daylight here. You knew they were married just from having the poster in your office? Don't act like you

like you didn't Google them all the time. The whole cast. I never Googled them. Why did you have their poster up? I just knew stuff. For some reason, we were somewhere on the Warner Brothers lot and I saw a One Tree Hill poster and I remember saying to Sona, Sona, get me that poster, thinking you never would. The next day, that poster framed was in my office and people would always come in and there was like

There's a picture of me with Johnny Carson. There's a picture of me with David Letterman. There's, you know, a picture of me with Adam Sandler. And then there would be this, but bigger than any other photo. It was huge. Oh, actually the biggest photo in the office was one of Lincoln on his deathbed.

Don't ask, not a photo, obviously, but a drawing, a painting. I don't know why I had that being attended by like 30 people. Historically inaccurate. It was a very small room. But anyway, and then next to that was... What do you mean you don't know why you had that? That sounds very much like you. But then the thing that really always killed me was people would come in and go, what the? And there was a big picture of the cast of One Tree Hill. Where did you get it, Sona? She just went to the... Yeah, because it's a war.

and if you just say hey conan wants a poster of one tree hill they're like uh okay and then they just send it to you but he i also realized he said that about every poster we walked by and i didn't realize he was joking so i actually did get him a poster of one tree hill but then he would just do that bit he'd be like i want that poster give me that

poster. Because when you walk around at Warner Brothers, and there are posters of shows that you've forgotten about from a long time ago, like Klepler's Way, you know, you're like, Klepler's Way?

There's a bunch of people looking real intense standing around and they've got padded shoulders because it's 1986. And those things always fascinated me because they would keep them up on the wall. You know? I mean, it would make sense to me. Like, okay, yeah, you keep the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air up or you keep this up or you keep that up. But Klepler's way. Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah.

I don't know. So I got them at one tree hill poster. Yeah. And it was in my office. I don't even. And you know what? But I still have it because everything goes into storage. Yeah. Somewhere when I go and I hope it's not for a long time, but judging by the tone of my voice, it'll be sooner rather than later. When they go through my storage, it's going to be nuts. It is crazy. Because the stuff that's in there, there's a whole remote of me going through my storage unit.

Oh, this was funny because we went, I went with my wife to the storage unit one day and I don't remember if you were with us or not, Sona, but we went to the storage unit and we were like somewhere in the valley and then we were just looking at the storage unit and then someone said, see that storage building over there? That's the Kardashian storage building. And I was like, damn, that's the, I mean, mine is all things like, you know, a statue of Rutherford B. Hayes.

that I purchased. It's been put into storage. It's made out of tobacco, you know, and then, but there's, can you imagine what's in their storage facility? There's like basically a closet. Yeah. That's what I heard is that it's like all of their clothes and bags and stuff. It's just. Previous husbands are in there. The basketball player. I bet he's in there. He's just, he's just standing in a unit just waiting to be let go. Oh,

What's that? Humphries. What's his name? Humphries. Chris Humphries. Chris Humphries. Yeah, she was married to a basketball player and then they just put him in storage. They weren't even legally divorced. They just put him into storage.

Hey, he's there with their clothes and stuff. Imagine having so many clothes, you need a storage facility. That's basically just another closet. See, our storage facility is not that big and there's no clothes, but it is crazy things fans have sent me over the year. Yeah. Like fans that find out that I like to noodle around on the guitar. One of them took a bathroom scale and...

used it as the bass and made a guitar. And I think they're in Switzerland or something. They made the craziest guitar out of a bathroom scale. Plays like shit, but accurately measured my weight. It was then I knew I had to drop 15 pounds. And I never did.

That's nice. It's nice that you kept that stuff. I keep everything. I've got it all. I've got it all. Well, hard not to get nostalgic here up in Altadena. It brings back so many memories of when I got here for the first time about an hour ago.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It is really nice here. It's quiet. I should come up here more often. You should. No, you won't. And you know what? Your kids were happy to see me. My kids really love you a lot. They said Uncle Coco. Uncle Coco. I know. They actually really like you and they were excited that you were coming over today. Yeah. Did you tell them I was coming? I did. Yeah. They showed me their bedroom? Yeah, they did. They were really excited to show. We already talked about it. They have a monkey in there.

A stuffed monkey. I said, what's its name? And they said monkey. That kind of bummed me out a bit. Yeah, they don't have names. I said, what's the name of the monkey? And they said monkey. Charlie has a fox. And I just got sad. And it's called fox. Fox is fox. My daughter does that too, but she doubles it. You go like, what's this alligator called? Alley alley or monkey monkey or something. Well, sometimes my boys will go Armenian. So Mikey has bears and he calls them archuks. So they're bilingual. It's not a big deal.

My kids are bilingual. As long as, you know, English is sort of stressed. That's the important thing. It's the important thing. Well, just make sure that it's stressed. Were you recording when he said that's the important thing? No, I'm just saying. Oh, you're just saying. Geography, you know. What is it? The birds really don't like you. Crows, yeah. Yeah, those crows. Crows.

Well, well, did that anger you with the birds? Does that make you upset that they're loud while you're trying to talk? It doesn't anger me. I'm, this is true. And my brother, Neil's the same way. When a bird in a distance crows or cause, we think it's really funny. I don't know why I've always thought that was funny. When a bird goes, I just, I, I always think they're mocking humans. I,

I always think birds know more than we do, and they think that we're ridiculous. So whenever a bird in a tree goes, I just think, you know, they know that our endeavors on this spinning blue globe we call Earth are but foolish. Foolish and ephemeral. I think they're just trying to mate with each other. Oh, well, yeah. Trying to get it done. Get it done. Get her done. All right. Well, I think that's a really good note to go out on, he said, untruthfully. Yeah.

The important thing we learned here is that Chad Michael Murray puts up the lights on the Christmas tree that William Morris Endeavor places in my home and that I have done no manual labor since probably about 1974. God bless us, everyone. God bless us, everyone. From Altadena, this is Pasadena saying goodnight. Summer S'mores with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley.

Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. ♪

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode.

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