Will Compton, Comedian Sam Morril, Mt Rushmore Of Orange Things And The Finale Of Barstool Summer Camp
02:50:43 Share

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music at Academy sports and outdoors. We've got the trusted brands you need for hunting season in Texas gear up with a wide selection of rifles, ammo, and optics at unbeatable prices. Plus find all you need to attract and scout big game all season like deer corn and game cameras.

Need a hunting license? We've got that in store too. Swing by your local Academy today or shopacademy.com for free in-store pickup. Get everything for your next hunt at Academy Sports and Outdoors. And have fun out there.

At Academy Sports and Outdoors, we've got the trusted brands you need for hunting season in Texas. Gear up with a wide selection of rifles, ammo, and optics at unbeatable prices. Plus, find all you need to attract and scout big game all season, like deer corn and game cameras. Need a hunting license? We've got that in store too. Swing by your local Academy today or shopacademy.com for free in-store pickup. Get everything for your next hunt at Academy Sports and Outdoors. And have fun out there.

On today's part in my take we have the finale of part of my take at camp and we've got two great interviews for the people we have our good friend Will Compton sober this time

To talk a little football, get us excited for college football, some funny stories from his NFL days. And then we have comedian Sam Morrell, our friend, who was on a year ago, pretty much a year ago today, back in studio. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of orange things. It's getting tight. We have four Mount Rushmores left. We're going to maybe do a, we're going to start the show maybe reading some headlines because there's not a lot going on and we've also been at camp.

And then we are going to do Firefest of the Week, which you will not want to miss. The MMA event of the year, Battle of the Giants, is coming up fast. Lineal heavyweight world champion Francis Ngannou makes his return to the cage versus Hanan Ferreira. Women's MMA GOAT Chris Cyborg takes on 2023 PFL champ Larissa Pacheco.

Johnny Eblen goes toe-to-toe with Fabian Edwards with the Bellator middleweight title on the line. Battle of the Giants and Ganu vs. Fajera goes down Saturday, October 19th at 4 p.m. Eastern Time on ESPN Plus Pay-Per-View. Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the...

Well,

Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. Score big with DraftKings all college football season. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Now use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers. Get 200 in bonus bets when you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, August 23rd. And boys...

I am the sorest man alive. Yeah, football's back too. Football is back. But yeah, very, very sore this morning. Every part of my body, really. We were in the water yesterday. When you swim, you use muscles that you don't know that you have. And yeah, my back is sore. Arms are sore. Shoulders are sore. My soul is sore. I wanted to do... I was talking to our good friend, Rudy, who works with us. And I was like, I'm so sore. And he's like, I'm sore than you. And I thought...

In my head, we should, next year when we come to camp, the last day we should do a SOAR relay race.

That is just simply like picking things up off the ground, sitting in a chair, getting out of the chair, like reaching in the backseat for something. I think that the getting out of the chair, it shouldn't be like timed. It should be judged on merit. So like the noise that you make when you get up. Yeah, it's like the belly flop. How many parts of your body crack. Right. It's the belly flop. You have three judges watch you get out of a chair and like the sounds, the angles, the

Maybe, you know, touch your toes. The sore, the sore relay race would play. And absolutely no stretching beforehand. So it's just pure a hundred percent your body at that time. I, my body now, when I stand up, it, it makes cracks in places that aren't joints. I don't know what's going on. I think I have, I think I've had like a sprained or broken thumb for about three weeks now. Yeah. But it's one of those things where I don't know what it, when it happened. So I can't see a doctor because they'll be like, what?

why is your thumb hurt and i think my best guess would be playing video games yeah yeah i don't that's the only time i probably would have injured it yeah can you get carpal tunnel in places that aren't your wrist i think my body has just gross carpal tunnel yeah so i think as a podcast so we could beat pretty much any other podcast and swimming relay are you sure about that if as long as

We showed some impressive skills. Would it matter, though, about going straight? That would probably matter. Yeah. Maybe if we had an app where it's distance covered, so if you veer off, kind of like you did, Hank. Like three times in a row. Yeah. No, you looked like Pat Mahomes Sr. trying to drive. Yeah. You were a blind person in the water. Well, yeah, I couldn't see.

Yeah, but it was quite something. But yeah, we're a water podcast. Maybe we should get more into the Olympics next four years from now. Water dogs. Yeah, we are the water dogs who have been eliminated. They were the first team. Already? They got eliminated like three weeks ago, dude. We got to figure out what's going on there. We won a game after we got eliminated and our social team was like,

look at this, we could finally get a win. It's like, yeah, could have used that a month ago. It was an embarrassment of a season. As owners, we don't tolerate that. We don't like losing.

If me and Big Cat cared enough to be at the games, we would be like Arthur Blank and we'd be down on the sidelines, standing behind the coaches and glaring at them. Yes. So should we do some reads, read some headlines? We have been at summer camp. Great football teams are built by having the right capability in the right positions. It's the same with great trucks like Chevy Silverado. You start off under the hood with four powerful engine choices that deliver massive towing capacity.

Then you've got available onboard technology that gives you extra peace of mind while towing. Finally, the rugged, purposeful design of Silverado screams grit and determination, just like a winning football team.

Visit Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado today. We've got a great, great video that's going to come up. I don't know when it's going to be out. We haven't even taped it yet, but Huey is going to learn how to swim. Yes. Huey famously, when we asked him if he could swim before surfing in the Pacific Ocean, said...

I kind of can swim. I think you said, I think I can swim. He said, I think I can swim. I haven't swim in seven or eight years, but I think I can swim. Yeah. Yeah. We know Hugh is not a witch because he's going to sink. Yes. Okay. Quick read a headline. So we do have football tonight or Thursday night, but no one's playing.

Any of your guys starters playing? That's disrespectful to Lindenwood. Are you talking about college? No, I'm talking about NFL. Because we do have college football, actual college football tonight. Missouri, NC State, Kansas, Utah playing tonight.

You're just off by an entire week. Am I? Yes. God damn it. Couldn't even be further off by an entire week. That's close, though. God damn it. You're close. Week zero is Saturday. Yeah, I know. Week zero is Saturday. I thought we might get an appetizer on Thursday. No, that's week one. Fuck. All right. No, no stars are playing tonight. Yeah.

No starters playing tonight. There's actually an interesting thing, though, about the Bears-Chiefs game. No starters are playing, I think, on either side. Right. But the way that it's set up right now with TV rights in Kansas City, you can't watch the game. You can't stream it. You can't watch it if you have cable. You can't watch it on the local channel. The only way you can watch the game in Kansas City is if you have a TV with the bunny ear antennas.

Oh, I thought you were going to say the only way you can watch the game is if you have a family member playing on the second or third team of the chiefs. Yeah. That's another way that you can. Yeah. Yeah. That's, you can definitely do it that way. But yeah, I just wonder if there's anybody in Kansas city that's like we were for hard knocks. That's going to be like, I've kept my bunny ears this whole time just for a moment like this. Fuck you guys. I get to watch week three of the preseason. Yeah. Week three of the preseason. What do I mean? It used to mean something. Yeah. It used to be starters all the way through the third quarter. Yeah. It was a dress rehearsal back in our day. Uh,

Okay, so there's no college football tonight. No college football. I'm sure. That was a test. Yeah. For everyone out there. I hope no one failed that. Also, it would have been a funny test because this would have aired after those games had aired, if you were correct. Yeah. You missed out. So you were double off. Okay, you guys want to read the headlines real quick? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Sources, Ferenc suspended for QB recruiting. So Kirk Ferenc is out for the week one game against Illinois State. This is just a funny story to me because the fact that he got in trouble for recruiting and it's Iowa is very funny. That is very funny to me. He got suspended for doing such a bad job of cheating. Yeah, I hope it was recruiting for a punter.

Yeah. I hope he went like a, you know, all expense paid trip to, he did like a vacation in Australia on the state of Iowa's dime. He stayed over at a punter's house. Yeah. Like hardball. Right. So if he was suspended for QB recruiting, so I guess he was trying to, was there one specific guy he was going after? Uh,

I don't know. I can look up the story real quick. We can go even deeper than a headline. You ready for this? Here we go. Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz and assistant John Budemare will be suspended one game for violation related to the recruitment of transfer quarterback Cade McNamara. He was on Michigan, and then he obviously got hurt last year. He's going to be the starter this year. So he must have been tampering maybe. He must have been tampering during that season. Yeah.

Okay, that's a good story. New NWSL CBA drops draft increases salaries. So they're going to try out the Mike Florio rule. Love that. Which is what happens if there's no draft and it's just the free market. I think that's a good idea. Pure capitalism. Yeah. Just, yeah, let's do it. I'm in for this. What are the richest teams? Who are the richest owners that are going to benefit from this? Probably...

Los Angeles doesn't LeBron Serena aren't they involved there yep I would I would say like maybe the Spirit the Gotham the Red Stars without rain the Royals all of the racing Louisville FC's I'm just naming these off the top of my head yeah I think the best way to treat this is just to say LeBron has ruined women's soccer yep that's that sounds like a good path forward okay I

Yanks back judge after criticism from Little League World Series coach. So there was a story. This is where we're at in the sports calendar. Right before football is the deadest time. I actually think as much as we think July might be the deadest time, you usually have like

Some soccer tournaments going on. We have baseball. Olympics. Yeah, all-star game. This might be the deadest week of the year right before we get to the busy time. This is the fourth headline on ESPN right now. This week is so dead that I mentally fast-forward an entire week. Yeah. Yeah, you did. Next week. Just erase it. So there was a controversy that I guess Aaron Judge big-leagued.

The South Shore Little League coach, Bob LaTerza. I think this is the Staten Island team.

And then everyone was like, no, he didn't big league them. So, yeah, he said, Latourza said, how about turning around or waving to New York and the kids that think you're a hero? They're the ones who pay your salary. Fact. The kids pay his salary. Also, wait, literally, he is big leaguing them. They're the little league. Yes. And Aaron Judge plays in the major leagues. Yes. And then the Yankees had to release a statement that said, Aaron Judge always acts with kindness and respect. The coach could learn a lot from him.

I love that. Yeah. This is a great battle. Anytime you can work, you could learn a lot from somebody into a sentence. It's always you win that argument. Yeah. Yeah. Aaron Boone said, not even going to dignify Latourza's comments with a response. Aaron judges as good as it gets. That's literally you responded. But on the other hand, I would like...

I would like Aaron Boone to show some of this fire that the Little League coach shows. Yeah. Like the Little League coach, he goes on the attack against people. It feels like Aaron Boone's always playing defense for his guys. Yeah. He said, Judge said, I got no response for that. I'm not going to give him a response because it's about the kids. Again, this is a response. This is what it's all about. We got a chance to spend a lot of time with quite a few kids in Williamsport, make some great memories, had a great time in the game, you know, besides the loss. So I kind of want that to be the focus.

This is, I hope this keeps going on. Latourza's got to fire back. Yeah, I mean, right now it sounds like Aaron Boone big leaped him. Yeah, Latourza, Latourza, you need, you're kind of on the, you're on the defense now. Let's see. Ronaldo creates YouTube channel, breaks record. This is kind of crazy. What happened?

He joined YouTube and got 8 million subscribers in like one second. I think he's up to 12 now. Did he do a giveaway or anything? Did he run suits? He's not a charity guy. Did he do the shock collar? He did a mukbang. Did he do the shock collar or the lemon in his eye? Mukbang. That would do numbers. What are you going to say, Max?

Never mind. We'll get to it in Russia. Yeah, we'll get to it. I think Messi could dominate these numbers if he came out with a YouTube channel. By the way, I had this thought about Messi. I don't know if I talked about it on the podcast. What's stopping the United States from just giving Messi a U.S. passport for the next World Cup? 21.3. The fact that Messi wouldn't play for us?

Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. Pocatino, Argentinian guy too. Now our head coach. I also don't know if he'll play in the next World Cup. He's getting a little old. He's getting old, but wouldn't you want him on the U.S. team? Of course I would. I think Messi really likes Argentina. What if we gave him a shitload of money?

I don't know if that's legal or not, but I still think Messi, like he's a god in Argentina. What would happen if he does that? I'm just dreaming. He loses God's debt. I'm just dreaming and I'm thinking outside the box. There's got to be somebody out there that's got money to burn. And if you're Jeff Bezos, give him like a billion dollars to play for the U.S. Passport. I don't think Jeff Bezos cares about anything besides being rich, bald, and doing TRT. Allegedly. Is Jeff Bezos going to buy the Celtics? No. Why did you say no so fast?

Because I saw a report that said he wasn't interested. Oh, okay. So I guess that's good. No. Good report. Wouldn't you want him to buy the Celtics? I think so. Yeah. I don't. I want him to buy the Bears. People are throwing out this new stadium shit, though. I'm not a fan of that. Yeah, the Amazon Touchless Stadium. I don't think the Boston doesn't need a new stadium. That's just like an owner would want a new stadium. Jeff Bezos would just build a new stadium because he can. But we don't need that.

I listen, I'm fully supporting Jeff Bezos buying any team because it goes back to my original, my, my longtime take that if you're that rich and you don't own a sports team, you're a fucking weirdo. Yeah. It's the, it's the only thing you should want. The point of getting money is that you can own a sports team. It's the only thing that actually like costs the amount of money that you have. You know what I mean? Like there's, once you have the billions and billions, Jeff Bezos has millions.

There's nothing left to purchase. Yeah, you want to own the best toy in the world, and the best toy is an NFL team. Okay. Jason McIntyre said Simmons was doing that to get his name in the headlines. To get Bezos' name in the headlines? Simmons' name in the headlines. This is what McIntyre said on Coward Show. He was basically alluding that Simmons floated that out there.

to get his name in the headlines because he's going through some type of contract dispute or something, which I don't believe. I don't understand. I don't believe that, but it made me laugh. Simmons is going through a contract dispute with Spotify. Wait, so he's saying that Simmons is going through a contract dispute, so Simmons decided to talk about the Celtics for once? He threw out an unfounded theory about the Celtics, and this raised a lot of red flags?

Sounds like he was just doing his job. Did Bill Simmons do a potential draft of Boston Celtics owners? And then everybody was like, this is unusual. Yeah. What's wrong with him? Is he sick?

Okay, so Bezos maybe, but probably not. I think maybe. My favorite Bezos— Or poor Game on City has no plans on purchasing the team. He should start the plans. Yeah, start the plans or buy the Bears. Yeah, he probably wants to buy a football team. The rumor was that Dan Snyder would not sell to him even though he was the highest bidder for the Commanders because he doesn't like Bezos because of the reporting the Washington Post did on the Commanders.

Also, if you're a billionaire like Bezos, it's probably easier to buy a team that's not in complete disrepair and take that over like the Celtics. Right. Like you've got a winner, a proven winner already.

So that seems like I'm connecting a lot of dots here, but I'm going to dispute that report and say he's not done. No, he's not done being interested. He's not. He's still interested. He's definitely still interested. My favorite story about Jeff Bezos is that remember when the mistress came out? Yeah. When he got that divorce a couple of years ago, he got caught having a mistress because he was hanging out. He was at some business conference with MBS, the leader of Saudi Arabia. And MBS was like, let me get your number so that we can text later.

He gets his number. MBS sends him a text and has like a link on it. It's like, thought about you. Check this link out. Bezos clicks on the link. Now Saudi Arabia hacked into Bezos' phone. Oh, no. And so they released, they found out all the dirt on him and they released all the information about Bezos. That's fucked up. Yeah. Have you guys seen Zuckerberg? It'll always be your friends that just want to send you links. I know. What happened with Zuckerberg? Have you just seen him? Yeah, he's trying to get into his swag era.

Which again, I respect that too. Like if you're, it's the buying a team or if you're a very rich guy, you have to essentially do enough performance enhancing, do some kind of weird Navy SEAL, CrossFit, Krav Maga or whatever the hell it's called to try to wipe away the fact that you were a nerd. Yeah, you do that. You also just put yourself in positions to make yourself feel uncomfortable because everything about your life is super comfortable. So you go on like,

two week long retreats where you don't do anything but drink water. You just try to make yourself feel like you're poor again. Yeah. In order to tap into some like deep yearning missing piece that you have inside. Or when Zuckerberg got choked out, but then had to release a statement saying he did not get choked out. He did not in fact get choked out. I also would love to interview the guy who choked him out because I feel like he didn't choke him out as hard as he would any other person. You think he let up at the end? Yeah, of course he did. If he's getting paid by Zuck...

He definitely let up a little. That wasn't a full choke. So actually, now that we're talking this out, Zuckerberg got choked out in a half choke. Yeah. I also think the billionaires sometimes they if you get that much wealth and power, you have this deep, dark instinct that takes over that makes you want to be an evil billionaire and take over the world and potentially destroy it. And so you just have to do everything you can to, like, steer yourself away from that instinct. Yeah. They're all evil.

They're all evil. We got Bernie Lockwood. Oh, little Rose Avatar Hank over here. Yeah, eat the rich, Hank. Like that. They're all evil. Yeah, they are. Because Hank thinks that anybody that's worked that hard to become a billionaire is an idiot because they didn't take any vacations. Right. But now they do take ultimate vacations. That was kind of all the headlines. So it was Ronaldo and Aaron Judge fighting with Little Leaguers. I just pulled up CBS Sports. Purdy leads young QBs on contenders.

I like this as a topic where you can rank Purdy number one, but not have it be number one. Like if you do the age thing, so you can leave out Mahomes, Allen, Burrow, all those other guys. Like who would you start a franchise with right now? The answer is still Patrick Mahomes. Yeah, Patrick Mahomes. I was going to say CJ Stroud if you're doing age, under 25. Oh, I do Jaden personally.

Yeah, I'd like to be Caleb Williams. I want to see him play in the NFL. I'm being realistic. I'm not going to get crazy. Okay, anything else? Will, did you just fart? Hank just farted. You just farted? Yes, Hank definitely farted. You gave me eye contact and farted. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. You looked at me and farted. You're sitting in a wood chair.

What does that have to do with anything? It makes a louder noise. Like, it was a very clear fart. I'll have to check the tapes. Yeah, no, Hank, you farted before the podcast started. You just looked at me and farted. And that was the exact same sound. We're going to have to check the tapes. You're real comfortable, huh? I just had a lot of, I don't know, a lot of Stella Blue. Was that it? Oh.

Now you're mad at us for acknowledging that you farted on our podcast. You're the one who stared me in the eyes and farted during the podcast. Hank, there are people that are... There's a million people listening to this right now. They didn't hear that. And you're just like, ah, fuck them. I didn't mean to fart. Slipped out. Control your sphincter. Oh, man, Hank. Okay. Hank had a lot of nitrous this morning. What? Loosens your butthole. What's nitrous? Whippets. Yeah, Kanye. Uh...

All right, let's do... We'd kind of do like $60,000 of nitrous a month. He's addicted to nitrous. And then there was started this debate online. It's like, why isn't nitrous just legal? And everyone replied, because it actually burns your brain cells. Yeah. Like it's actually the one... To get high with nitrous, it's because you have a lack of oxygen to your brain. And your brain is dying. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Kanye got that hookup. There's a very funny text thread that was going back and forth between Kanye, his dentist, and I guess his old boss and his boss or his dentist. Have you seen his Instagram page? Yes. Dr. Thomas Connelly. Yes. He's a jacked up dentist with head and face tattoos.

He says,

Spinal cord will disintegrate. Why would anyone want to introduce another drug to an already depressed, addicted, demoralized and apathetic population of dopamine slaves? Then Kanye follows that text with, can I have the nitrous today? Spinal cord. What is it? I can't say the word. Disintegrate. Disintegration.

That's got to be one of the worst side effects for a drug. For anything, yeah. Yeah. Your spinal cord will disintegrate. It's pretty important. Turn into dust. Yeah. Okay. Let's do our college football picks real quick. It is not week one. It is week zero. Next week is week one, but let's get them in right now. DraftKings, you can bet them all on the DraftKings Sportsbook app. So we've been tasked with a national champion Heisman or conference winner,

I will let you go first, PFT. Okay. I do apologize for thinking that there were week zero Thursday games when I was looking at the app. Uh,

I'm going to, I got a national champion pick. I have two, but I'm going to tell you. Two can't win it. I have one that I already bet on, but I have one that I like more than the one that I bet on. So I'm going to give you a brand new one. Okay. The Texas Longhorns. Okay. I like the Texas Longhorns. What are their odds? Their odds are, I believe, 850. Okay. Eight and a half to one. Texas is back. Okay.

We might see Arch Manning if Ewers has any issues. But I think that Ewers is still obviously one of the best quarterbacks in college football. And their hardest game is Georgia. They have that at home. And with the expanded playoffs, I feel like— They have to go to Michigan, too. They have to go to Michigan. But I'm thinking Michigan's a big question mark this year.

They're still going to be good. They'll be good, but there's a lot different at Michigan from the national championship team. So I think Texas will also benefit from, obviously, the expanded playoff if they do lose one of those tough games. Still very much in it. Yes. All right, Hank, your conference champion pick? I'm going to go with the conference, our local conference, the Big Ten. A little long shot. It's more than a little long shot. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

They are the ninth. This is the ninth out of whatever team. Nine out of ten in the Big Ten. Washington Huskies, plus 8,000. Plus 8,000. Okay, 80 to 1. Damn. Okay. Hungry dog. All right, I'm going to go with my Heisman, and this is one that you're going to bet, and we're either going to...

have great value or was the worst bet ever within the first week, which is what I like to do with my Heisman picks. I'm going to go with Miller Moss, USC. They play LSU week one. I think it's actually the Sunday game. So it's going to be a standalone game. If he comes out in balls, it's right now 35 to one. It will be half that price if he comes out in balls. I also am high on USC this year.

Simply because they got rid of Alex Grinch, the worst defensive coordinator of all time. So they will be better on defense. If they're better on defense, the offense doesn't have to press as much. They could maybe have a better record.

Miller Moss, Heisman Trophy winner. And guess who just churns out Heisman Trophy winners? A guy named old Stinkin' Riley. Stinkin' Riley. Now, where's that first game? Is that neutral side? I think it's neutral, yeah. Yeah, LSU runs through the neutral sides. It might be in Louisiana or New Orleans, which would not be neutral. But I think this might be the Camping World game where they play in Orlando. Wasn't that stadium built during the war or something? Yeah.

Is there something weird with the Camping World Stadium? I mean, just based on U.S. history, it was probably built during a war. Yeah, that's true. Hold on. I'm going to find that because it's actually in Vegas. It's in Vegas. No, there's a weird... Because the fact that Orlando has a football stadium makes no sense, really. Right? Blake Bortles. Well, no, but they have their own football stadium. Camping World is just a neutral...

Football stadium. For just this type of occasion, yeah. It opened in 1936 as Orlando Stadium has also been known as the Tangerine Bowl and Florida Citrus Bowl. 1936? That's crazy that Orlando... If you had asked me when Orlando was created, I'd be like...

I guess whenever Disney. Yeah, Disney. So Orlando built this. Was that during the Great Depression? Was that like a new deal? I think so. Like FDR is like, I'm going to give money to build the Hoover Dam. We're going to do a lot of mining and bridge construction in Tennessee. And we're going to build a football stadium in Orlando. Yeah, so that Florida State can play LSU week one sometime. Save the economy. Yeah. Yeah, it was. It was under the Great Depression. Was it really? Stadium was built immediately. Yeah. It was...

It was built for that reason. Capacity of 8,900 is Orlando stadium. First college football bowl game was played on January 1st, 1947. That's not actually the first college football bowl game. I did a bad job of reading that sentence. Uh, so Miller for Heisman may, yeah, he's got a good Heisman name. He's got a good Heisman name. Lincoln Riley, USC, USC, no longer playing in the pack. 12. They're good. They got some big primetime games are playing like Penn state. Uh,

I believe they – I don't know if they play Ohio State. I know they play Wisconsin, but they start the season with LSU. Again, this is a bet that if he plays well against LSU, it's going to go from 35-1 to 20-1 overnight. Okay. Okay.

We're going to do a bunch of college football previews next week, by the way. So everyone get ready for that. We will make sure that we stuff your brain with college football previews. Those are coming. Let's do our Mount Rushmore. Our Mount Rushmore. So...

We are going to do our Mount Rushmore. It's brought to you by our friends at Mountain Dew. You know what we all need to get more of? Off our ass with bold flavors and refreshing citrus kick. Mountain Dew will get you off your ass and have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain, a mountain where the weather is always perfect, your friends ready to hang, and a day of epic proportions awaits. We love Mountain Dew. We've been playing. We've been in the

We've been doing softball. We've been doing rock climbing. Mountain Dew is the best. I love the original Mountain Dew. That's my personal favorite. So thank you to Mountain Dew. We've had an awesome time at camp this week. It's been so much fun, and it's in big thanks to Mountain Dew for sponsoring it and getting it all together. So go do the Dew.

Original is the way to go. Hank's a Baja Blast guy. I think PFT, you're a Code Red guy. I love Code Red. We got all three here. Absolutely fantastic soda. Okay, so Mount Rushmore of orange things. We have Max in first last week. We have myself on Wednesday. I was second. And then we have a tie for third and fourth.

So we have to figure out what we're going to do about the tie. Yeah, I have an idea. Okay. My idea is that it rolls over. It's like in golf. If you tie a hole in a skins game. Okay. So it rolls over to this Mount Rushmore. And then between Hank and myself, whoever finishes ahead of the other person, they get the third place points.

from Wednesday and the other person gets fourth place. Okay. I like that idea. I'll throw a counterpoint out there. I think we should give third place to the person who didn't try to meddle with the vote. Who tried to meddle with the vote? Hank, Max. Did anyone try to meddle with the vote? Charity. Yeah.

Yeah, PFT was so charitable online. I almost want to just give it to him as he really inspired me. Well, if he was so charitable, he'd give it to you. That's very charitable. PFT tweeted in the middle of the vote. So the vote had not been decided yet? No, no. And it was a neck and neck race. He said, I will give an autographed Game Ward Camp Barstool hoodie signed by myself and Big Cat.

I didn't agree to that. Somebody asked me to one person. Somebody asked me a big cap rush more poll. Hank, you didn't read the quote tweet part. Somebody had asked send proof of voting and read the rest of it. Hashtag rock. No, you left out a part.

You can vote for whoever you want. It will not affect who gets the hoodie. Correct. So there were plenty of people that sent replies and voted for you. Plenty of people that voted for Max. You know what's disgusting is that Hank thinks that the only reason that somebody can do something nice is because they're secretly trying to do something wrong. I've been... You were definitely trying to do something wrong. I was not trying to do anything wrong. Let's just be clear here. You were 100% sure. You've chosen the winner then, right? You've never done that. The person...

I have to. There's a zero percent chance you send a fucking hoodie to anyone. I've done giveaways before. I'm going to send the hoodie. Hank, why don't you pick who gets it? Okay. How come you didn't let Hank get to sign it? Well, because the person asked me and Big Cat for one. Okay. The person said, hey, Big Cat, PFT, can I get one of those Camp Barstool hoodies?

That's why I said me and Big Cat will sign. Did you think about waiting until after the Rushmore poll ended? No. Good question. I was just walking up to the building here. We were getting ready to eat lunch, and I took my phone out, happened to check Twitter. Saw that tweet. Saw we were in a neck-and-neck race. I didn't know that we were in a neck-and-neck race. It was a very close match at Rushmore. I think Big Cat had 23%. Hank and I both ended at 21.7%. Crazy. I don't think we've ever had a tie like that.

And also, after I put that out, Hank went up from like 20.3% to 21.7%. But you weren't paying attention to the vote at all. I did when we sat down for lunch and Hank came to the table and he was just looking at me and he said...

How was your lunch? But I knew what he meant. We may need a commissioner to make it. Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm just going to say in fairness, if Hank had done this, I would have gone after Hank. So I have to say that I think that's bullshit. I didn't do anything, though. I was just trying to be a nice guy. No, you're not super charitable. I was trying to be a nice guy. You're charity shaming. I'm not. I've been complimenting you the whole time. Memes?

What are the official standings right now? It is. What depends? Yeah. Max has 69 points. I have 57 points. And then PFT and Hank are three points apart. So they'll either be it either be there'd be two points apart or they would be four points apart.

Or we could roll it over into this Mount Rushmore and whoever wins this one gets the points from the tie. All right. Hank gets it and PFT loses one point. Okay. I get subtracted a point? Wait, you get subtracted a point? Wow. I don't think you should get subtracted a point, Commissioner. Well, it did break the rules. Commissioner, I don't think you should get subtracted a point. Wait, wait, wait. Memes, when Hank explicitly broke the rules and posted what his picks were during Mount Rushmore, he didn't get subtracted a point? Yeah, that's a bad precedent to set.

It should just be... Well, it wasn't a pic. It was an honorable mention. No, no. He posted his pics. No, I posted it. Coldplay. He posted Coldplay. And he posted... Can you see me in the back end who got the most votes? Wait, wait, wait. Hank, did I push people to vote for a certain person? Hold up. You're anti-democracy. I'm encouraging people to vote. I don't care who you vote for.

Just participate in democracy. Memes, just see if you can see the exact amount of votes. Is that possible? And Hank, I'm giving them literally the shirt off my back right now. I mean, you knew what you were doing. I had no idea what I was doing. Yeah, you do. I thought college football started tonight. I walked up to PFT and go, damn, PFT, you're so charitable. And he goes, well, it's not even going to matter. He instantly got defensive. And it actually helped Hank.

But you weren't watching the poll. No, I saw the poll when I tweeted it out afterwards. And then wait, how would you know you saw before you tweeted it after? I just said after I tweeted out. So how would you know it helped him because you didn't see it before? Good question. Right after I tweeted it. Oh, I looked like you had half a second later, but you hadn't looked. Yeah. Half a second later, I looked at it.

You hadn't looked at it before. What inspired you to start being charitable yesterday? I do a lot of charity. I just don't talk about it all the time. So what inspired you to talk about it? The real charity is, well, because somebody asked me publicly, so I responded publicly. And I care about our listeners. I don't care who you vote for in Mount Rushmore season. Let's be clear here. You have choices to make, and you're going to make those choices. Choose who matters to you, who speaks to you.

as a representative of your thoughts during Mount Rushmore season on this podcast. I just want people to take an active role in democracy and I want you to know that your voice matters. You can't see the actual amount of votes memes. All right. Ashley at a mangled and who does she vote for? Max. Okay. Ashley. Ashley mangled a mangled a mangled. You win. You get the shirt off my back. Big cat. Will you sign it for Ashley?

You don't care about the listeners? I care about Ashley. Maybe I'll just send her my shirt off my back and not have to have any strings attached on voting. Yeah, I mean, that's how much I care about the listeners. I don't make them do things to get free things. I didn't make them do anything. I said, if you're going to vote, I want to encourage that behavior. Voting's good. I just know I'm trying to be fair here that if Hank pulled this move, he'd be fucking, he would literally be on trial for an hour and a half.

Which you, I think, would agree with, PFT. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm trying to do a good thing. And Ashley, this is for you. It's a nice shirt. It is a nice shirt. Are you talking about the tie-dye one? Can you see it? Do you want this shirt? You want this shirt, Hank? I'm sorry.

I don't think PFT should lose a point, but... We'll get to it by the end of this. This Mount Rushmore? All right. Here. I also wanted to say shout out Carl Ham, who made a very, very funny Mount Rushmore graphic summing up all of our picks this year. I'll just read it real quick. This is the first round. Max, good pick. PFT, good pick. Big Cat, good pick. Hank, making a third round pick.

Then second round is Max. Good pick. PFT. Third round pick. Big Cat. Pick 1-1 for people aged 35 to 45. Hank. Something nobody even considered picking. Third round is Max. Good pick. PFT. Something hyper-specific that wins the votes of 50 people. Yeah, but they vote hard. Big Cat. A niche sports reference that nobody else was going to take. Hank. Something that Hank has to explain as to why it fits the category. Yeah.

Then the fourth round is Max. Good pick slash Italian. PFT, it fits the category, but it's just weird. Big Cat Wrestling or kid-related. Hank, a reasonable pick. Pretty much nailed it. That's really good. Pretty much nailed every single one. That's our show. All right, so we're going to do the Mount Rushmore of orange things. And we don't know the standings right now, but I guess we'll know at the end of this Mount Rushmore. So who's first? Orange things.

pfts first okay wait who's second me you hank third max four got it and it goes it goes four three two one and points unless there's a tie right or someone messed with the voting yes okay all right yeah never mind no what are you gonna say so hank got the point do we agree with that on that we don't know i don't think memes can find the actual votes can he

On the desktop, it breaks it down to the decimal point, and we were tied at 21.7 to 21.7. But I think we should be able to get into the analytics of the actual post and get an exact number. Can we get the overnight votes?

Huh? You get the overnight votes? Can we get the timestamp votes of when PFT sent out his tweet? Oh, yeah. I was winning before that. That's what I'm saying. I thought you said you didn't check before. Well, right after. Exactly. Exactly. I'm just saying. I was up. I helped Hank.

You keep saying you haven't checked. You didn't check before. I did not before, but I've learned a valuable lesson today. That's don't help Hank because he'll always accuse you of doing it. I have done nothing but compliment you for your charitable actions. Fact efficient. He did call me Dr. Charity this morning. Dr. Charity. He said when we were in the bunk this morning, he's like, what should we do for Mount Rushmore? He's like, things that you give to charity. Okay. PFT, your first pick. Okay. Okay.

1-1, I'm going to go with buffalo wings. Okay, good pick. Thank you. My favorite food in the world. Max, anything to say to that? That's orange. Yeah, it's orange. It is orange. Okay, so it's my pick. 1-1, I'll go with maybe the most important thing.

Ever created, although it wasn't really created. Maybe it was created. I'll go with fire. All right. That is my second. Fire is you need fire for everything for Buffalo Wings.

You can't have you, Buffalo is now fire. No, you can use an electric fryer to heat it up. But yeah, no, it's good. Electric fryer? Electric fryer. Yeah. And then where's the electricity come from? Fire. There's just a big plant with fire happening. A lightning that struck a kite that- But how did they get electricity? From the lightning. Fire. Lightning struck a key. Fire. Fire's good. Listen, fire's a great pick. I had it as my second overall, so. Okay, Hank.

I watched Hank put together his list. I think he has four picks. I'm going to go with basketball. Okay. Basketball is a good pick. Very orange. Good pick. Thank you. Okay. I'm going to go with mac and cheese.

Sometimes white. Mac and cheese? Mac and cheese. Oh, that's interesting. What kind of mac and cheese are we talking about here? Just plain boxed mac. You can say boxed mac and cheese. That's interesting. Are you talking about the blue box? It's pretty yellow. Boxed mac and cheese. Pretty yellow. Yeah, that's yellow. Orange. Orange. Pretty yellow. No, I mean, Kraft mac and cheese is definitely orange. Yeah.

I think it's yellow. It's definitely orange. There is yellow mac and cheese. There's white mac and cheese. Yeah, white mac and cheese. What color would you guys say that is? That's orange. This is orange? I believe that would be orange. You think that's orange? Have you ever seen the powder? Yeah, the powder's very orange. Yeah, it's about as orange as orange. And then I'm going to go with an orange. Oh, okay. Okay. You want to fight me on that one? Good pick.

Is orange orange? He just plays the one-word answers. Yeah. His graphic always looks better. He's hacked it. Okay, Hank. All right, PFT was a little too specific. I'm going to go with something that is more universal, hot sauce. Ooh, good pick. Hot sauce is orange? Yeah. I don't think hot sauce is orange. We've had this discussion before, Hank. It's not. Hot sauce is red. Oh, man.

The most popular brand of hot sauce, I would say, is... Frank's. And what's the word that comes after that? Orange hot. What hot sauces are orange? All of them. Buffalo sauce is orange. Buffalo sauce is orange. Because you mix it with the butter. Correct, because you mix it with butter. You mix it with butter and vinegar. It's red and yellow put together. Yeah.

Good pick, though. It is a good pick if it were orange. Wait, did Hank just take buffalo wing sauce? I'm going to go with goldfish. Oh, good answer. Would you like to take a specific goldfish that might help? No. Oh, okay. Because I had Larry the goldfish on there. Are you talking about the snack? Yeah, I'm talking about... Or the fish. The snack. Oh, I had Larry the goldfish on there. Did you want Larry the goldfish? No. Hank's going to fart again. All right, he's going to fart again.

Okay, I can't believe this lasted all the way here. I'm going to go with a tiger. Yeah. Tiger is fucking dominant. I had that. Very orange. Good pick. Very good pick. Very awesome animal. Okay, I'm glad. Did not. Did we do? I just remember we did do this Mount Rushmore of hot sauce. Or the hot sauce thing was the spirited debate. I think it was just us debating it off air. Yeah.

That you were very wrong about. Yeah, because we had the same conversation. Yeah. Yeah. It didn't work your way. Okay. It never does. Okay. PFT. You have two picks. I got two picks. Glad this one lasted as long as it did. Cheez-Its. Mmm. Cheez-Its. Love Cheez-Its. The hot and spicy. The big Cheez-Its. Extra toasty. You reduce fat. What are you going to say, Hank? You took goldfish. Yeah. Good pick. Thank you.

Okay. What color is the box? Red. I didn't say cheese at boxes. We might have to do the Hank gets third place and PFT minus one point because he's just blowing this draft. Hank's like an animal. How am I blowing this draft? I mean, because you... I didn't take hot sauce. Yeah. Okay.

You're doing fine. And I couldn't pick something. You're like an animal that doesn't have a real defense mechanism. Like you don't spit venom. You don't have a stinger. Just when you get upset and frustrated, you shut down and fart. Next pick. That would have been so great if you farted. Yeah, I was hoping you were going to fart.

All right, next pick. He's a skunk. Yeah, I'm going to go with Hooters uniform shorts. Okay. Pretty great. This is the part of the draft where he gets the 50 people. Are you saying you don't like the Hooters uniform shorts? No, this is that part. I don't know if I'm looking at the shorts.

Personally, I don't think I go to Hooters to look at the shorts. You do look at the shorts sometimes. I'm going to Hooters for something else. The wings, which I already have. Yeah, that's a good pick. Yeah. Okay. This is what PFT just picked. Let me see. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. They're great shorts. Okay, I'll go with, it's my pick, right? Is it? Yeah. I'll go with Fall Leaves.

Orange fall leaves. Okay. Nice crunchy leaf. Something about the fall football. Love it. Hank? Good pick. Thank you. I will go with another food. Okay, nice. Or should I go with an animal? I think you should just decide whatever you want to do. Go Nemo, Finding Nemo. Oh, so you went goldfish, goldfish, back to back. Okay.

Hank, I'll be honest. I had Nemo on my list. That's awesome. That's good. So you know it's really good with both me and Eric. That's why I didn't want to take Larry. That's why you didn't want to take Larry. Because you're like, I already got this covered. Okay, Max, your last two. I know. Well, I'm going to go with the orange Tic Tac. Oh, okay. I think that's one of the worst Tic Tacs. There's only two Tic Tacs. No, that's not true.

Is there three? There's probably like seven Tic Tacs. I like the orange Tic Tac. It was like, that was a staple for me growing up as a kid. You got the white, you got the spearmint, you got the wintergreen, you got the fruit colors that are like mixed in. You got orange. What are those? It's like, I don't know, multiple flavors of fruit. I feel like orange and white are the two Tic Tac flavors. Those are the two OGs. Okay.

Yeah, I gotta say, I never was a Tic Tac guy. It's like, who cares? Or a Tic Tac guy. Have some gum. Tic Tacs. And also that you walk around. Tic Tacs are supposed to make your breath fresh, and you picked one that doesn't. Yeah, true. Tic Tacs are candies. The only benefit for a Tic Tac is to make your mouth... It's candy. I can't speak.

It's not candy. Tic Tacs are... No, they're breath mints. They're breath mints. The orange Tic Tac is just a candy. But that's just a shitty candy. No, it's a good candy. No, that's a... Shane is just agreeing with me ferociously right now. Actually, I don't give a fuck. I already won this stupid game. Did you say Shane, the guy who's never had McDonald's? You want to keep debating with the king of Rushmore? I've already won the whole thing. I want to just...

I'm standing up for candy. If we did a candy Mount Rushmore and we each got 10 picks each, so that's 40 candies, orange Tic Tacs still wouldn't be picked. I'm saying orange. Okay, pick another orange candy. So it's the lowest tier candy. Pick another orange candy. I might. It's not my pick, buddy. Okay. You want me to do it right now? No, because that's not how it works. Okay, it's not my pick.

Actually, yeah, I don't even care. Syracuse Orange. Last pick. You're the king of Mount Rushmore, so I don't really. No, I thought about going with another school, but they're literally called the Syracuse Orange. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. My last pick, I'm going to go with the orange hairs on weed. That's a great pick. That's a great pick. That's when you know you have good weed. That is the kind bud. That's a great pick. No, the good bud.

Kind Bud. Kind Bud's not good. What? In my day, Hank, Kind Bud was the best. Yeah. Mids, KB, and then the good stuff. GB? KB. KB is Kind Bud. Yeah, that's like a step above mid. What? Kind Bud is like not that great. God damn it. It used to be the best. Be like, yo, you got mid, you got KB, you got that. Orange haired weed guy.

Okay. You get a nug of weed and it's got orange. I think it's a great pick. I think it's a great. You just laugh pretty hard. What? Well, I laughed because it was very niche, but it was a great pick.

Who doesn't like weed? I'm telling you, it's a great pick, Hank. That was Hank's pick that kind of fits the category, but he has to explain why. That's crazy. It's literally whatever. I'm telling you. Every fucking pick is a great pick. It literally fits the category perfectly. Oh, my God. Hank, I'm telling you, it's a great pick. I was laughing because it's something I never thought of. That's funny. Thanks.

You don't believe that, right? You don't. Yeah, he's so mad at me. All right, my last pick, I'm going to take Snooki. Okay. All right. She's orange? She's orange. Yeah, I know. I could have gone DT. You could have gone DT. But then it's like, is he, you know. You would win half. Yeah, who knows. Not to get political, Snooki.

God, you're lashing out extra hard today. And I've had your back from the start of this Mount Rushmore. I was the only one trying to prosecute PFT for you. I wasn't trying to prosecute PFT. I laughed at the red hairs, orange hairs. Excuse me. There are red hairs in me too. They might be more red than orange. I actually initially said yes to the hot sauce. All you want to do is just fart in my face. Give me eye contact. All right, PFT, your last pick.

Okay. Last pick. I think I might just run the football here. Do something easy, simple, definitely orange. I'm going to go with pumpkins. Pumpkins make great pie. I don't like pumpkin pie. I've never been a pumpkin pie guy. I like pumpkin pie. It's great. Yeah. Pumpkin pie is good. And you like orange Tic Tacs. You like everything. Pumpkin pie is fire. It's a staple. Yeah. In the autumn. Yeah. You think fall, you think Thanksgiving, there's pumpkin pie. Uh,

You also get the jack-o'-lanterns. You get Halloween decorations. Yeah. I'm going to go with pumpkins. Okay. Good Mount Rushmore. We got honorable mentions. I had a lot here. Yeah. Mountain Dew Livewire. Yep. Yep. Peaches. Yams. Yams. I'd take a pumpkin over a yam, though, I think. Tennessee Orange. Tennessee Orange had that as well.

Texas burnt orange Tennessee don't like don't like Texas burnt orange cheese balls cheese balls are good cheese balls are the best sweet potato fries yep the sun yeah sometimes I kind of want someone to take the sun I thought about that but sunsets are orange but someone took the sun correct

You can't be both. The precedent was set. I agree. Yeah. Cheese. Sunset, probably. I almost took mac and cheese and cheddar cheese. I almost just did a full cheese. You're just running up the score. You're on the 10-yard line. I'm not going to lie. I think I had like five things written down. You're resting your starters. By me getting first place, it ruins the rest of...

the draft for the two of you that need those points. Not really. I don't need the points. It's so nice. Anyway, I'll probably just give me some at the end of the day. Can you move your mic a little bit? Tabby cat. What about the tabby cat? The orange tabby? Yeah. The one from what was the show? Morning edition. I had first edition. It was a show with Coach Taylor where he got the newspaper from the day. The next day. Friday Night Lights. Is that coach?

No, it was, I think it was morning edition. No, first edition. It was an orange tabby cat that would bring him the newspaper, tomorrow's newspaper today. Oh, I didn't see that. Home Improvement. It was a good show. I'm re-watching Friday Night Lights. Wow. Golden Retrievers. That golden? Yeah, that's golden. It's kind of orange. Literally in the name. Didn't you, you said this. We're doing honorable mentions.

Okay. No, Hank said golden retrievers for yellow. Nah, I didn't. Kyle Chandler. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. Hank, why are you so grumpy right now, dude? Oh, foxes. What's wrong? We missed foxes. Yeah, foxes. Foxes were great. We saw some out there. We saw a fox, yeah. Damn. What? We missed foxes. Early addition. Early addition. We missed foxes. You're on one. Orioles.

Yeah, Orioles. They're really cool if you ever see an Oriole. They're awesome. Yeah, good birds. I thought you were talking about the baseball team. Garfield. Yep, said that five minutes ago. Sorry. Garfield. I was looking up the show that is completely irrelevant that I was trying to figure out. Heathcliff. It came out 20 years ago. Monarch Butterflies. Yep. Orange County. Orange County. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You're not an OC guy? Orange County Choppers. Yeah. Yeah. Which is in New York. Which is in Laguna Beach. You can't. I know. That's crazy. You can't? You can't smoke cigs if you live in Laguna Beach. Like, even in your house? No. Your neighbors can report you. In your house? Yes. If you smoke outside or you smoke in your house and the smoke wafts into your neighbor's property and they smell it, they can call the cops on you. That's insane. Yeah. Wait, weed or cigs?

That's crazy. There's another orange political guy, not to get political. Yeah, we were saying that, DT. Frank Ocean, Chanel Orange. Oh, yeah, Chanel Orange. You say Chanel Orange? Is it Chanel Orange or Chanel? Was I wrong? Probably not. It's probably me. You're definitely right. Always are. Didn't Apple rank that album as like the second best album of all time? Yeah. Yeah, that's bullshit. Hank, I can't with you right now.

I literally can't. You can't exist. Do we have a conclusion? No. Okay, so what is your ruling? Hank gets third and PFT gets fourth. Or his original ruling you guys just didn't accept. No, no, no. We have a commissioner and it's like, all right, make a ruling. But you didn't get subtracted at the point when you broke an explicit rule. Don't bring it up to me. I broke an unwritten rule. Wait, so you're admitting you broke a rule? No, that's what I'm being prosecuted for is breaking an unwritten rule.

You were prosecuted for breaking a written rule that you invented and you didn't get to track the actual rule. Yes, you did. You guys just decided I did. No, you did. It was actually your rule that broke it. All right. So memes, what's the final ruling? Hank gets a point.

Hank gets the two points. Yeah. Okay. But PFT gets an official warning. A warning. Okay. And next time it's negative 10. Negative 10? How long does he have to send the sweatshirt? Because that should be part of it. Oh, good point. You have one week. Wow. Okay. I can make that. Huey, can you please send the sweatshirt? No, no, no. You have to do it.

Okay. You're so in the chair. All right. Big guy needs you to sign this sweatshirt. Happily. Okay. So then the updated standings going into this Mount Rushmore would be PFT has 48. Hank has 46. All right. So it's very close. Anyone's game. This is why we do Mount Rushmore season. It's fun, isn't it? So much fun. I'm having a blast. Yeah. I don't want to do the challenge again. Not because I'm afraid of doing the challenge. I don't want to do it for a second year in a row.

What challenge? The baseball challenge. Oh, no, that's for dingers only. Yeah, your brain is gone. Oh, this is for a different challenge. Hank and I lost about Rushmore last year. Yeah. Yeah. You'll get up to speed. Listen, we can't record before 10 a.m. That just doesn't work. Okay, let's do our interviews. We got Will Compton. He's brought to you by our friends at Mountain Dew. Yeah, I know. No, I know.

PFC just made another inaccurate. But we started recording before 10 a.m. Before 10, but Hank was... Hank is being a...

A real bitch. I don't know what you're saying to me there. I thought you were saying like it's 1030. We got to hurry up. You were just correcting him. Can we wrap up this little podcast thing that you're trying to do? Okay. I never said that. Let's do another Mountain Dew. I'm down. Just for fun. I'm down. Before we get to Will Compton, Mountain Dew. We're here at Barstool Summer Camp. Thanks to Mountain Dew. You know what we all need to do to get more of? Off our ass with bold flavors and refreshing citrus extract.

Kick Mountain Dew will get you off your ass and have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain. A mountain where the weather is always perfect, your friends are ready to hang, and a day of epic proportions awaits. The mountain is calling. You should answer. Grab your friends. Grab a nice cold Mountain Dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold and do the Dew.

I love the original. Thank you to Mountain Dew. This has been one of our favorite weeks. Barstool Summer Camp, incredible idea, incredible sponsor. Hopefully we can do this every single year and hopefully Mountain Dew is back every single year because we love Mountain Dew. So if you want to support us, uh,

And all these fun new things we get to do. Please support our sponsors, Mountain Dew. Go get an original Baja Blast Code Red right now and do the Dew. Okay, here he is, Will Compton. Bring back Mountain Dew Livewire. It is the greatest flavor. As good as all these flavors are, Mountain Dew Livewire is just incredible. Incredible. Okay, Will Compton. Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, Will Compton, the boy. Little Redemption. Little Redemption.

Because last time he was on this show, it was the drunkest episode we've ever done. So, Will, first of all, let's start there. How bad were the Scaries anxiety when you woke up and you're like, I did a podcast. Yes, bro. My Scaries and, you know, we messaged back and forth, but my Scaries were through the fucking roof, man. It was a great performance. Not only that, I remembered how...

You know, you're in the final game, and so you're shit-talking, you know, to get in the other team's head. And I'm just trying to recall the things I was saying to Joey, the comedian that was with Pac Tiari. And, you know, you have no clue. You go in the next day in the shop, and the boys were talking about how obnoxious I was getting. And you're just like, God, man. You were the drunkest man alive. Bro, when I saw you guys' first – the first clip, and I'm just slurring everything.

Every word I felt like in my brain meant so much. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know that feeling where you think you're being super profound. Yeah, bro. And you listen back to it and you're like, that is the opposite of what I thought I sounded like. Although you made some good points about Max and how much he hates J.J. Reddick. Yeah, do you want to apologize to Max or do you think he still might hate J.J. Reddick?

No, yeah, I think that you were explaining something that I wasn't quite following. No, I love J.J. Redick. I brought J.J. Redick into it. I was going to say, do you hate J.J. Redick for real? No, I love J.J. Redick. He was a great sixer. He was probably on the best sixer team of my lifetime, probably. Where did they win? No, he was on the Kawhi team. What year were you born, Max?

I mean, the 0-1 Sixers, but AI was just the best player. That team honestly sucked. The team was bad except for AI. AI covered up a lot. So does that make you mad that JJ took the job at the Lakers? No, I like JJ. I appreciate JJ for everything that he's done for Philadelphia. What if the Lakers beat the Sixers in the finals?

Then I would probably hate JJ. Yeah. He does. He does have the ability to hate JJ. There's pre-hate. There's the potential of pre-hate. Sounds like you're onto something. Yeah. I think Will is right. What's the word? In vino veritas, in wine there is truth. It sounds like Will tapped. Drunk man's thoughts or sober man's words or whatever. He tapped into the universe. Sober man's words or drunk man's. Right. So if the Lakers beat the Sixers, you wouldn't be calling for JJ to come home. Sober man's thoughts or drunk man's words.

Maybe. But I mean, that but that would be he would be tapping into my brain, which. No, no. Will's asking you if if the Sixers fired their head coach and they hired J.J. Redick, it sounds like you wouldn't like that. Like they were just doing J.J. Redick. Yeah. Would you be hoping J.J. comes comes to Philly?

I like JJ. Do you? Yes or no. I like Nick Nurse. I don't want anyone to get fired. I want JJ to keep his job. I want Nick Nurse to keep his job. So you wouldn't be excited about having JJ as your head coach? No, I would. I just don't want anyone to get fired. You don't think he's going to be a good head coach? I do think he's going to be a good head coach. If you thought he was going to be a good head coach, then you would be like, yeah, I would take him over Nick Nurse in a second. Right, but you ride with your guys.

So you do hate J.J. Reddick? Yes. Do you think Caleb Williams is going to be a good quarterback? What's that have to do with J.J. Reddick? Was that for me? Either one of you. Do you think Jaden Daniels is going to be a good quarterback? Yes. Would you get rid of Caleb Williams and take Jaden Daniels? No.

So you hate Jaden Daniels? No. We're not talking about Jaden Daniels. I just did the same thing. I just said he's going to be a good coach. Or a good QB. You think J.J. Reddick is going to be a good coach? Correct. Would you put your reputation on the line for it? I don't know. So you do hate J.J. Reddick. Oh, no. Yeah. He hates J.J. I would put my reputation. It's so clear. He hates J.J. J.J. needs this. He needs doubters out there. Yeah. Haters and doubters. But it's good to be sober. Yeah, it's good to be sober. Good to be sober. That was... I don't think we'll ever do that again. I don't think we'll ever do that again.

It seemed like a good idea in the moment. And then the next day we all were going through because we were going to interview Joe Burrow. And it was like we were just all silent in the bus being like just the anxiety. You could cut it with a knife. Yeah, it was a bad day. We were at each other's throats. Hank left his wallet in like three different locations and held us up big time and wouldn't apologize for anything. And so we were never mad at Will, obviously, because we were all in that same boat. We were hammered drunk. But then when the clips came out,

I think we all thought that they were hilarious. When you see the clips come out, you're probably just like, turn your phone off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I eventually listened all the way through on the JJ Reddick part. Cause I remember when we, yeah. You're like one of the only people who made it all the way through. And, uh, it's like when you guys are talking about like riding back on the next day, like with your boys, you're almost like sitting there with anxiety, hoping somebody is like,

Hey man, you, you were the MVP yesterday. Make you feel like, okay, all right. Everything is all cool. It was epic. Yeah. Yeah. But no, we didn't have, but you all sit there and just assume everybody else is thinking like you're obnoxious in this specifically to you. Yes. Yeah. Yes. All right. So we'll, we're on the precipice of football season. Actually, we can talk about this. It's coming out on Friday. We were all on the same team for camp bar stool. I think,

I don't know how you guys are feeling personally. This was just an eye-opening, like, God damn it. I know I say this all the time, but, like, another one of, like, damn, you are just so washed. Because the few fun activities we did have just made me... I actually am, like, 1% chance tomorrow I wake up and I can't walk. Yeah. I'm just paralyzed. Legs on fire. I'll tell you what, we won the real game, softball. Yeah. Dude, here's our list. Softball...

wrestling, swim relay, kayak relay,

What else? Tramp, tramp ball. Tramp ball. Like all like the cool ones where you had the actual sports. The closest things to sports we won. And they basically just won Donnie, Donnie, Chef Donnie, Chef Donnie. Like he just won all their sports. He climbed a rock. He won the belly flop contest. And White Sox Dave won paper, rock, scissors. Yeah. How did she do? I blame Stephen Che for that.

Like going 0 for 4 in Rock Paper Scissors, we had memes crunch the numbers on it. You know how hard it is to go 0 for 4 in RPS with no ties?

He had a 1.2% chance of doing that. Only Jay, bro. Basically 99 times out of 100. In wrestling, Jay bodied Whiteside. What are you talking about? Bodied him. He took his blow and turned it around on him. We also ended up losing, but we lost with class. There was the one moment, Will, where I had to correct you. Yeah, I was going to say, you were leading the charge of winning the class. I'm sitting in the back like, fuck this, man. Let's go. He's like, let's get out of here. I was like, Will.

They remember when the Pistons walked off the floor, dude. Like, you got to at least shake some hands. And none of us had any freak outs. Yeah, and it feels that way because...

We should have won. I know. We left some plays on the field. We might think that way if we were younger, but at this age, it's important to have that perspective. If one event doesn't go your way, you don't need to lose your cool. You don't need to shove a ref. You don't need to attack anybody. It's important to know, hey, it's just a game. So it's just a game. We had fun. We're all winners in my book, and I'm glad that we can look back on this week, all of us, and say...

We take pride in how we compete. I loved our team. I did too. I'd go to war with our team all day. I hope it's the same teams next year. Yeah. It was so much fun though. Because part of me, like when I, you know, I think I believe I broke my toe. I just want to put that out there. Well, you went to the infirmary at summer camp. We've been here for 48 hours and you had to go see the nurse. After the nurse, after Will left the table, the nurse came up to me and she was like,

So I asked him what activities he was planning on doing later on in the day. And he said, I played in the NFL for 10 years. And she's like, why did he tell me that? That is not how it went. That's what you said. Are you calling the nurse a liar? No, the nurse is a liar about what she said. You don't respect her response. She said, what do you do? And Garrett, he had the camera on me. So I'm like making Garrett laugh thinking she's going to laugh. So I took it as, what do you do? And I was like, oh, I played nine years in the NFL. Wow.

I was like bouncing around a few teams. And then I was like, I'm just fucking with you. We're about to do swimming games. That's interesting. Because she said... But she had like a weird kind of like reaction where I was like, okay, I guess that one didn't land well. She said you told her 10 years.

You just said nine. Maybe I said a decade. You never know how long. You round up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got as close as you can to 10 years without having 10 years. Yeah, you kissed the wall. I got as close as you can. Yeah, you couldn't have gotten any closer. We saw the tapes of you dropping those balls in Atlanta. Yeah, I mean, Art, he clipped that up. That was the one drop I had. Well, I think there was a couple drops. I don't know if there's two. Hey, listen, there's a reason why you play defense. Yes. You're not supposed to catch the ball. You're not there to catch the ball. Yeah.

Are you excited for football season? Oh, yeah, I mean, of course. It's the best sport in the world. It is, but do you have, now that you've been out for, what, two years now? Yeah. A year and a half. A year and a half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are there any moments where, like, is there a training camp? Like, damn, I wish I was with the boys.

A little bit. I mean, we went to – Instead, you're playing swimming games. Yeah. Swimming through the pain. White Sox Dave and Che. Che is literally your coach. Yeah. And that's what you're dealing with. And he's like, how are you feeling today? I'm like, I'm going to figure out how to go. By the way, there's no worse coach or captain than Stephen Che. Oh, my God. Because he has no confidence in himself or in anybody. He'll come up to you, and you can put your chest out. You can be like, I'm ready to go on the kayak, Che. And he's like, are you sure? Yeah.

There was a moment yesterday where he was like, I didn't realize he was standing like basically right next to me. And someone asked me how it was going. And I was like, Jay's the fucking worst. And he goes, what? And I and I turn and I was like, oh, I didn't see you there. I said, Jay's the fucking worst. And he's like, fair. Yeah. Do you miss it at all?

Yeah, I do every now and then, but it's like, again, playing the games and everything out here, you truly realize, like, I see – when I see the hits that happen, I just think to myself, I have no clue how I was out there doing that. Yeah. What was the hardest you ever got hit? Man, it was this all-pro cat. I forget his name, but number 76 or 78 for the Saints, and it was my second year or third year, and they ran this, like –

They ran this dip platter where they pulled a couple guys outside and I just fucking took off because, you know, you're thinking I got to get to them before they see me or get to me first before they turn their shoulders. And I ran into this cat and he caught me just at the very end. And he didn't like do a whole lot to me, but he felt like I ran into a fucking brick wall.

And I dropped like literally right when I hit him, I lost all feeling in my legs and like my my arms are kind of wide and I was still trying to lean and I just go down and I can't like stand up because I hear him on the way. Like as he put me on the ground, he looks back. He's like night, night, motherfucker. And I was trying to like get up to like say something back, like say like a joke back. But I couldn't stand up. I was like, hey, stay down, stay down. And I just didn't have any like feeling in my limbs for a minute.

How long was that? How long did you not have feeling? I don't know, probably like five seconds. That's scary as fuck, I'm sure. Yeah, I mean, it was like everything went stiff, but like on the ground, I'm coming together, but you kind of feel like that baby deer trying to stand up. You like can't get your bearings underneath you.

And then, you know, you go out, then you get right back in. Because you love the game. Do the same thing on the next play. It's like, I guess I got to do this again. Go side to side and you just be like, hey, I'm good, man. I'm solid. I'm solid. Get me back. No, it was a beast. I did love watching Will play when he was a... You were a Redskin, right? Not a football team. Yeah, yeah. I was a Redskin. Loved watching you on that team. Captain Will, Captain Compton. Good story. Who...

Who do you root for more? Because you played on, let's see if we can name the Will Compton teams. It's just the Redskins. One might sneak by you. Redskins, Titans, Raiders, Saints. Yeah. Are you on the Saints? I was on the Saints for a cup of coffee. Yeah. And Falcons for the drop pass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost Falcons. Almost Falcons. You got a workout sleeveless shirt, right?

Yeah. Did you get the tummy shirt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or did they say like put it back in? No. We're going to watch this. They actually, when we went there in the spring, they let us put on gear and stuff for photos, but they're like, hey, do you mind putting everything back? Yeah. It's the last time you came. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, do you root for one of those teams? Or do you have, like, another squad? I don't know, man. Like, each of the teams I play for, I mean, outside of the Saints because I just wasn't there very long. But, like, the Raiders, Titans, and the Commanders, I want them to do well because it's cool to root for them. But –

The NFL is such a business to where once you're removed from and you understand how the machine works, it's like you're more tied to players than you are the actual logo. I want Washington to do well because it was the spot where everything basically happened for me. I want the Titans to do well because I still know a few guys. And then the Raiders, it's like you still got some players over there that I play with, like Max, that you're just like, yeah, you want the silver and black to do well. Yeah. Yeah.

That would be a weird moment when there's no teammates left. Yeah. That will. It was a weird moment in Nebraska when I realized I didn't know anybody in the locker room anymore. Right. And then I kind of feel weird going back. Right. But now that I'm this far removed from football, I find myself being immersed more as a fan like I was when I was young. Big season coming up. Yeah. For the Cornhuskers. Yeah. I...

Dare I say make or break? I actually think you guys would be good because Matt Rule, everywhere he's gone, his second year has been phenomenal. Yeah, I feel really good about the Huskers. Okay. I like their schedule. Yeah. They're over under seven and a half. I think that is...

I think that is hot. Get those first seven easy. You need to get that. I think you need to jump on that. They just named Rayola the starter. Yeah. Honestly, man, I think that they could compete this year. What does that mean? I think they could go 10-2. Whoa. I mean, you're talking about maybe sneaking into a playoff spot. Yeah. 10-2? Yeah. You got to think about it. If we're going into Ohio State, we're 7-0. Yeah.

How many times have you done this exercise and it actually worked out that way? Yeah, I know because I understand the history, the recent history of Nebraska to where it's like, oh, these guys are delusional, but...

there's something about this year, man. But the fact that you said if we get to Ohio State... I gotta find the clips where you say exactly that. The fact that you said, think about it, we could be going into Ohio State and we're 7-0. You're kind of admitting that Ohio State's about to kick your ass. They could, but I think that would be good for us. You think so? Yeah. Obviously, I'm talking way into the future like it's happening, but...

Number one, like, yeah, if I'm trying to be, you know, everybody's like, oh, we'll be realistic. Trust me, I want to say 12 and 0. But if I'm going to have some type of credibility in saying it, it's like I got to find a couple. I don't think you should have to worry about credibility. You know what I'm saying. But listen, we do this –

We don't have credibility. You're right. There's no reason to pretend to have credibility. But also, the fan bases that you're a part of, like if I'm just saying 12-0, it's like, oh, you know, comp, he's just delusional. Yeah, maybe throw 11-1. But if you say 10-2, a couple people are like, I mean. It sounds realistic. Well, and also, the trick is to do like a couple different versions. You know what I mean? Like when people ask me like, what do you think about this Bears season? I'm like, 9-10 wins. And they're like, what about the best? I'm like.

12, 13. Like you just throw out a couple different numbers, get a little cloudy and everywhere. Everyone's like, well, what'd he say? And it's like, well, I kind of covered all my bases. That's the key. Yeah, I'm fired up though. I think Raul is going to be a stud. We returned most of the black shirts, top defense last year. Last year we were 5-7. We had four one-score losses.

Yeah, and that Michigan game, if that fourth and one goes different, you probably win that game even though you lost it 42-7. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they knew our signs. So if they don't know then, we stop them. Oh, yeah, true. That was – It gives a different story. I got to say, Will, I was very excited to go to Nebraska and –

Maybe it's because the team, like that game was just not really competitive. I know where you're going with this. But that was tough. That crowd was like. They died in the second series. It just felt like one of those crowds where it's like they just had been, they just expect the bad thing to happen and they just can never fully get into it. And I know that like if they rattle off some wins this year, they're an unbelievable fan base. No one, everyone knows that. They sell out everything, sell out the spring game. But I was like, damn, what is going on?

on you bro i'm with you man it's like what i think it was uh they scored they had that long drive and then like a pass got tipped the very first player second play and they picked it yeah and then when you need the the crowd to be involved the defense getting back out there on some third and shorts like you need the the fan element to like a settle for a field goal bend don't break and then you go back and tell the offense hey we got you right go back out there clean that one off but instead it's dead

They drive and score. And then it is like, oh, now this shit's about to turn. And then it's like, what, 21-0 and you got to go out in the fucking t-shirt. That was awful. At the start of the game, they're like, hey, start of second quarter, you want to hit the t-shirt? I was like, oh, hell yeah, that would be awesome. And when we started to get...

bro. I'm like, this sucks. I'm going to have to go out here and just fake it. Hey, let's get loud. That's a very, very sad t-shirt cannon. They got to move that up to like the first quarter. He was on the little thing too. There's like a little buggy or something. I don't even know what it was. Dude, it was awesome. It was like, oh fuck, this is going to look ridiculous. One cool thing about Nebraska in college football, I don't know if you've seen this map, but this is the percentage of

People who live in certain parts of the country that actively watch college football. And if you look at the hot spots on the map, the entire state of Nebraska. Yeah. What Alabama might have us? It looks like Alabama, maybe. But like Nebraska, it starts and ends on the border of the state. Oh, yeah. It's like once you cross this line, you have to care about college football. It's oxygen out there, man. Oh, I like that saying. It's oxygen out there. It's oxygen out there. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, listen, I want Nebraska to be good. It'd be fun. They're one of the teams. Which you take in seven and a half over under. I'd have to look at the whole schedule. I mean, I like Will's confidence. Let's pull it up. I'm getting talked into it. Max, give us the whole schedule. Will sounds like he means. Game by game.

Now, listen, I don't think the Badgers are going to be that great this year. We have a really tough schedule and kind of a, you know, I think they're going to be, I think this is going to sound like loser talk, but I think you understand what I'm saying. I think they're going to be a better team than they were last year. They may not have a better record.

Yeah, because you guys have a tough schedule. Because I think Fickle, I think he's going to be solid. And we have to play Alabama non-conference, Penn State, Oregon. It's a brutal schedule. USC. So the Badgers could end up being 7-5, but I'd be like, I'm excited about the future. Yeah, and I'm with you. Let's go through one at a time, and we'll give instant reaction, win-loss.

Me or just you guys? They have the easiest schedule in September. Nebraska, home against UTEP. Win. Easy. Home against Colorado. Win. Ooh, Dion. Dion. Home against Northern Iowa. Win. Home against Illinois. Pilmus? Pilmus is a fucking salty motherfucker. Illinois is a sneaky team. Yeah, they are. I'm going to say Ty. Ty. Ty is good.

Okay, road Purdue. That's also another one. Yeah, well, no, because I feel like Purdue will use their crazy good game at home against a better team than Nebraska. Nebraska might be ranked if they're 4-0. But they're 3-0 and 1. That's a win. Home against Rutgers. So many home games. That's a win. Rutgers is also going to be salty. Some good teams. Road against Indiana. Loss.

Did you know that we were playing the Indiana? Signetti. Yeah. I know that's your boy. That's my boy. Here comes the gauntlet. Yeah, here comes the gauntlet. You know what? That's going to be a game that's actually Nebraska against JMU because Indiana got all of our best players and they got our coach. So that's me versus you right there. Yeah, when you were talking about it on the plane, I was curious. I'm like, do we play Indiana this year? Because if so, I'm assuming PFT thinks that they'll beat us. Yeah, Indiana's going to win that game.

Ready for the gauntlet? Yeah. Yeah. Road against the Buckeye. Loss. Home against UCLA. Win. Road against USC. Loss. Loss. Home against Wisconsin. Loss. Okay, here's the thing. Like I said, Wisconsin's, I don't think they're going to be great this year. Wisconsin handles Nebraska. That game came down to the wire last year, bro. I'm not even, but what's the record?

Yeah. What's the record with Wisconsin-Nebraska? And you know what you're doing. You know what you're doing right now, too. No, I'm not. I'm just looking. I'm asking for the record. I think it's like 10-1. Yeah, no doubt. I mean, when you took me on that walk with the fart video last year, you were kind of saying what the recent scene was. Yeah, it's 10-1.

That was a close game last year. You guys should have probably won that game. When you say Wisconsin handles, you're just talking in the scope of their overall record of all time. Against Nebraska. Since Nebraska's been in the Big Ten, you have been our bitch. That's a fact. Fact or fiction? What's the record? Total, it's Wisconsin 13, Nebraska 4. Okay, but what about in the last, since the Big Ten? Because I don't know. They probably got a couple wins when they did steroids back. 10-1? That's crazy I knew that.

You knew that. You fucking did. Thank you for fact-checking, boys. Yeah, yeah. That'll be a good game. You guys got our numbers. No, that'll be a good game. I'll be very interested to see because it'll be a big test for Wisconsin. Yeah. And then the last game of the season is on the road to Iowa. Let's loss. We got to control the border, man. Do you get mad when Iowa beats you because it's like, that's what we should be doing?

You might be the only person who's envious. No, that's more me. Nebraska at their height is better than Wisconsin and Iowa. Iowa and Wisconsin are kind of... When Iowa beats us, I'm like, what the fuck? Because we should be able to beat teams with punting and running the ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It pisses me off. Yeah. It's all of it too, right? Iowa and Nebraska are similar states, but...

I just get pissed because it's like the Iowa team last year is basically everybody in that division, but they just happened to win 10 games. You know what I mean? And then you got, what's his name, Butterbean out there beating you

Throwing dimes against your defense and you're just thinking, how in the fuck does this guy beat us? Yeah. Do you think that Matt Rule is the kind of coach, though, that if shit goes bad, is Matt Rule a guy that's going to turn it around? I think so. He literally turns it around. He's got the DNA. Yeah. I mean, you came across his speeches, I'm sure. And I feel like, I'm sure nobody's out there watching Nebraska Hard Knocks, but they do have some nice training camp episodes out right now on YouTube. Yeah.

But the way he interacts with the guys, the words he has to say, it always feels like he has the right thing to say at the right time. I think both at Temple and Baylor, his second year, he won 10 games. Is it? I thought the first year was like one. No, no. Second year was like seven. At Temple? And then he's double digits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But either way, he's a turnaround guy. Yeah. Like big time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he is definitely the guy. Yeah. I think he's definitely the guy. And you didn't say that about Scott Frost. And if he's not...

I mean, there were a couple. Yeah, we thought Scott Frost was the guy. Yeah, that's a weird position. I wanted Scott Frost to be the guy. Because he's like a hometown boy coming back. He was part of the squad in the 90s. Yeah, so he's like a legend, and then he comes back, and then he sinks as a coach. Like, does he feel like he's not part of Nebraska anymore? I don't know. I think that would be a good question for him because I get curious of that too. It's like, man, you're at the height of everything.

How you doing? Yeah, just being like, hey man, you still feel like you're part of Big Red? Okay, I can do that. Do it right now. How are you going to phrase it? I'm going to say what you just said. You're going to ask him if he feels like he's a part of Big Red? Yeah. Maybe throw in like a, I hope you know you are. Yeah, yeah. You know, just so he like feels that way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what do you think? She'd be like, hey, I'm having a debate with the boys. Like, do you still feel like you're part of Big Red? I hope you know you are. That's a good way to do it. Also, what do you think about JJ? What do you think about the Lakers side of JJ Redick? Thoughts on JJ Redick. I mean, I'm just – even as crazy as you've been, I actually do think, like, for the first time, Will, I'm actually on your side because every year that you've done the Nebraska, like,

where this year's different. I'm like, this guy's crazy. It's going to end up in the same spot. This is the first year where I'm like, he actually has a little merit. I think they're going to be a pretty good team. I think they're going to go to a bowl game for the first time in forever. How long has it been the bowl drought? Has it been over a decade? It hasn't really. It might have been. Pelini? It's been bad. Was Pelini the last one?

Or did Mike Riley get one? No, Mike Riley. That was the weirdest hire ever. Because I think Mike Riley's year, he started like 6 or 7 and 0. Yeah. It was a similar schedule. You guys did the same thing that Wisconsin did. Gary Anderson was our weird hire, where you hire someone. And Mike Riley, Utah State and Oregon State was Mike Riley. Like hiring someone from the West Coast being like, come coach this ball. And the AD, like. Just like, it made no sense. None. None. And he, you know.

We don't, I don't have to, I don't, I don't have to throw shit on, on Mike Riley. It seems like you have, do you want to text him and ask him if he's still, I don't have his, I don't have his, because the point that the time that he was there is like, you know, your staff gets fired. And then when he was transitioning, that last group of seniors was the very last class that was around. Yeah. So that was the time where I didn't, you almost, everything kind of felt weird. Is he driving a Tesla? Yeah.

Might have been. Or not. Maybe it was too early for a Tesla, but it was like a Subaru or something. I was like, this isn't a Nebraska coach. Maybe like a Prius. Yeah. It seems like, yeah. I can judge a lot by a football coach based on what car he drives. Yeah. I could tell you how many games he's going to win. Yeah. Andy Reid probably has a truck from 1996. Yeah, or even a minivan. Yeah. You could have a minivan for sure. Minivan would be good, yeah.

Matt Rule in a minivan would be kind of weird. I wonder what Coach Rule does drive. He drives a truck for sure. He has to. He's a truck guy. He's a Chevy guy. He's a Chevy guy. Yeah. There's no doubt. Yeah. All right. Anything else, Will?

No, you guys... We're going to see you a bunch more because you're going to be in the office. I'm excited for football so you can be in the office once a week. It's going to be fun. Yeah. We're gambling with the boys. Yeah. We got to get in on some action. You had a clip that was out the other day talking about like, you know, the whole it's not about winning and losing but having fun with your boys. Yeah. You guys just put...

Your money and one thing and you're all rooting for it. I can't wait for that. I say it all the time and I know people are like, oh, this loser talk because everyone online is hitting 65% of their bets somehow and knows the outcome after the game. But to me...

Obviously, you bet what you think, but there's no better feeling than when you're sitting down, watching a game with all your friends, and you're all like, all right, what do we like? And everyone's like, all right, we like this. And then you're all in it together, and it's just like we're pulling up for this together. It's just the best feeling. I fucking love it. What's going to be your first prop bet on Thursday? Because you got the first game. Oh.

No, no. Right? Ravens Chiefs. Yep. Is that one on Thursday? Yeah. Ravens Chiefs. Bears played noon on first week one against the Titans. Was it Sunday? Yeah, Sunday against the Titans. You know what I love? Here's what I'm putting my money on this year. I'm going to go big on this.

Kind of a sharp play. Kansas City Chiefs over 11 and a half wins. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Rollback question. RHOBACK.com. Promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Thank you for bringing that up, PFT, because goddamn were you so stupid about the Chiefs last year.

Why did you do that? In hindsight, just like you just said, yeah, guys, 65% of the outcome after the game. But that's the one guy. You said they weren't going to make the playoffs. That was my hot take. A take's got to be hot, right? They should all be hot. And that's one where it's like, you know. And I remember so vividly after week one when they lost to the Lions.

When they lost to the Lions, I was like, I'm telling you. You were like, I am the fucking smartest man alive. I'm telling you, this is the year where they start to go down. Well, there has to be one person every year that has that take. It's the same person that was like, this is the year that Tom Brady falls off. Falls off, yeah. And Father Time catches up. Right, right, right. There's always somebody that's out there being like, I don't believe in the Chiefs anymore. It's going to be a lot harder to not believe in the Chiefs this year. But in the take game, there's certain teams you just don't touch. I would never be like, oh, the Chiefs are going to suck this year.

year. Cause it's just like, you just, it's Patrick Holmes. Which she says, giving you a lot of shit. You don't think, Oh, they give me shit all the time. It's yeah. I get, it's like, it's fun now. Yeah. But, uh,

You don't think that division, Raiders, Broncos, Chargers, are going to be – Chargers will be better for sure. No, I don't think that division is going to give them any problems. I'm not too worried about the Broncos. Are you doing this again? Are you doing it again? I mean, I'm doing it again, but I'm – You're doing it again. 12 wins. No, I don't think so. You're doing this again, Will. I think that division is going to be scrappy, top to bottom. Will's doing it again. Yeah.

Will, what are you talking about? Scrappy top to bottom. I'm telling you. Will you have 10 wins? Nine? Will, Will, Will. I think they make the playoffs. I think they make the playoffs. I don't think they win the division. Oh, Will. Oh, Will, Will, Will. Okay. Don't do this, dude. I love it, Will.

Will's that mouse that keeps going back and touching the electric. I can't believe it. He's like, I'm going to get this cheese next time. Yeah, we were literally just talking about it. You just did it again. Yeah, but man, I know deep in that brain you're like, yeah, it could be a scrappy division top to bottom. It could be interesting. You're going to feel so smart though if it hits. I think the Chargers will be, because I believe in Harbaugh, will be better. But I don't think they're there. They're doing a full roster overall. I think the Raiders are going to be better. Herbert.

Yeah. Mahomes. Bo Nix. Mahomes. Gardner Mischu. Oh, you're taking a second. Mahomes.

Bro, I'm telling you, I think... Why do you hate the Chiefs? I don't hate the Chiefs. No, it feels personal. It feels like you hate the Chiefs as much as Max hates J.J. Redick. In your brief time in Las Vegas, did you develop that hatred for the Chiefs? No, not like that. I think it just developed over... Like, it's starting there, but I didn't hate the Chiefs. You just knew that that was a big rivalry. It sounds like a guy who hates the Chiefs. No, I don't hate the Chiefs. A lot of good friends on that team. Like who?

Harrison Buckner. Buckner. Wow, good friend. Great friend. Travis Kelsey. He dropped a fire quote about Winston Churchill the other day. He did. An NFL kicker is like, yeah, I'm just like Winston Churchill. Yeah. Oh, man. I know, I know. All right, well, Willie, you're the best. We'll see you again soon. You'll be on again this fall.

Great job. Listen, I said it. I'd go to war with you guys. I'd go to war with you guys any day of the week, even though we fell a little short. It's okay. The backstroke. And you were – I mean, you downplay yourself all the time. I think it's just part of the bag you try to work with. But you were – I did have the – it was a moment where Will Taylor and I – Taylor was on the other team. Will Taylor and I were in our cabin right before we were heading out, and I was just like, man –

I feel like I'm like 50% tops right now. And Will just turns to me after we walked out. He's like, that was so smart. Will, do you secretly miss just like after we're done today, we go, we eat dinner, we hang out, socialize a little bit outside, maybe hit the showers, but we're all not showering together in a big open area, all butt naked looking at each other. Do you miss that at all in NFL training camp? Well, Will showers with his shorts on.

He does. That's a fact. Yeah, that was. I was talking to Will about that yesterday, though. It is kind of weird that after practice, after games in the NFL, they're like, okay, boys, pack it up. And then they all just take all their clothes off and shower next to each other. We do, yeah. Yeah. And you got that nickname.

I mean, I miss being in the locker room. Yeah. And some of them shower conversations, man. That's when it gets real. Yeah, that's when it gets real. Yeah. The scrimp nickname. But you own it. Dago Skrill. What the hell are you talking about today? Yeah, they must be calling me Jumbo. Yeah, that's cool. All you can eat. Yeah. All right. Thank you, Will. Appreciate you guys. You're the best.

You know what we need to get more of?

Off our ass. Will Compton was brought to you by the one drink that will get you off your ass. That's Mountain Dew. We love Mountain Dew. Been drinking it all week here. Got the Baja Blast in a can. We got Code Red. We got the original. We got Zero Sugar. We're fueled up on Mountain Dew with bold flavors and refreshing citrus kick. Mountain Dew will get you off your ass, have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain. A mountain where the weather's always perfect, your friends are ready to hang, and a day of epic proportions awaits.

We were playing some softball the other day, drinking Mountain Dews in between innings. I could have been out in the outfield drinking Mountain Dew in one hand, catching Hank's pop-ups with my other hand. It was a great game. Remember that game of softball? Big Cat was lighting it up from the mound, absolutely lights out, twirled the gym out there. Hank was mad that he couldn't pitch like I can. Doesn't sound like Hank. But anyways, we were all refreshed. We were all feeling good because of Mountain Dew. The mountain's calling. You should answer. Grab your friends. Grab an ice-cold Mountain Dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold and do the Dew.

He was also brought to you by our great friends over at Verizon. I'm excited for the best time of year, guys, football season. Verizon can help you win Sunday and be fully prepared for watching football with NFL Sunday Ticket, meaning you get your favorite team's out-of-market games ready

Every Sunday afternoon. After the move to Chicago, I use NFL Sunday Ticket because I watch every Sunday Commanders game on my own terms. I can keep up with my team from afar. I can watch the Commanders games right at home or on the go with my phone. I don't need to go out to bars to catch the game. We can watch it because of Sunday Ticket. It relies on NFL Sunday Ticket to get the Commanders games that I want, I need, and I can't live without.

Now you can get NFL Sunday Ticket from YouTube TV to keep up with all your favorite teams and out-of-market games on Sunday afternoon too. Get an awesome deal on the NFL Sunday Ticket from YouTube with Verizon. And now, here's Sam Morrell. And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on a recurring guest, a little bit of a better setting than last year when he was on, it is comedian Sam Morell. Sam, first of all, welcome to the new office. We promised you last time you were here, we were in like a closet that we'd be in a little bit of a better spot. So here we are. This is crazy. Yeah.

But great to have you. I think last time there was a toilet that was flushing in the background the entire time. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. We had a pipe running through our studio. So whenever somebody would flush upstairs, we would just get a big dump going through our studio. It was a dark time for us. We just like, there was a couple guests that came through and were like, we swear, like we didn't move.

move to chicago for this and now we're here so no this is insane yeah yeah it's pretty it's pretty nice so you have a uh new special out on amazon yeah and you were saying to me earlier

Your new special's out, but now you have to get a new special, and that's the hard part about comedy. It never goes away, man. It's painful, yeah. It's like people are like, oh, my God, you have a new hour out. I'm like, yeah, cool. I have to start at fucking zero. Yeah. You're just like in the, you know, you feel like you're in spring training. You're just out of shape and shitty, and you're like, no, I swear I'm good at this.

But then they come out and I'm like, it's going to be all new shit. Yeah. Do you ever get a moment to be like, oh, that was awesome. I'm going to take some time to enjoy that. No. Well, you're addicted to comedy. Yeah. You have an actual like an addiction. Yeah. It's hard. It's hard to...

I really don't really, I'm not good at celebrating ever. I'm not, I was never like a birthday guy. I was never like, oh, this is awesome. No, I like the grind of starting a zero back on the road and just having to build it again. Yeah. It's humbling. It keeps you like from being a piece of shit. Wait, so you didn't celebrate the Amazon special coming out for even like a week? No. No.

no what are you doing it for i was getting too frustrated they were just turning down they every time i'd be like hey they'd be like what should we market your clip as and everything they'd suggest well that's not a joke oh they'd be like a setup and they'd be like that's that's it and i'm like no here's nine options and they were like none of those work yeah and i was like what do you mean they're like what's a bad representation of amazon and i was like well it's on amazon yeah you know and then i'd see like what they would post otherwise it'd be like homelander from the boys sucking on a woman's breast yeah i'd be like this is okay

And you got to be careful because like whatever they choose to market your standup with, that's what people are going to see. Yeah. And then they'll assume that's the entire thing. Like Netflix, they put out a bad clip of Joe Rogan and everyone's like, Joe Rogan is the worst per, he's a, he's the worst standup comedian ever. And so it's just like what they market you as is not always what's contained in the special. It's usually like someone 22 fresh out of college. Who's like, you know, like this should be like an important job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So you're, you're, did you also get almost called a pedophile?

Not to my knowledge. Wait, no, there was some... One of your jokes, I feel like, went viral and people were like, this guy...

huh recently maybe i'm pedophile yeah maybe it wasn't a new one i've never heard it no probably yeah probably for the best i can't remember someone maybe posted one of your jokes and everyone was like trying to take it out of context and it was like what this is bullshit like he's a comedian that's the hard thing with those clips right because it's like you put them on social media it's like it's like a comedy club where someone's opening the door and being like that's fucked up yeah right well it's not for you obviously i know i don't i've

I definitely have a lot of pedo jokes. - That was a bad question by me, being like, "Hey, did you get accused of being a pedophile?" - Yeah, now this is gonna get-- - What would your response-- - Part of some video. - Yeah, at least address it. - Hypothetically, what would your response be if somebody were to accuse you of being a pedophile, Sam? - I would say, "Kevin Spacey was exonerated. "Maybe I'll have similar luck." I don't, yeah, I have a lot, I definitely had a lot of pedo, I had a joke back in the day about how the best thing about pedophile jokes is no one ever gets offended.

Yeah. Because no one's going to be like, no one's going to stand up in the crowd like, that's enough. Right. You know what I mean? No one's standing up for them. I had a lot of pedo jokes in my last special. I don't know if I had any in this one. Did Amazon say like, let's not include those in the clips? They asked me not to include one joke in the special. They asked me to cut one joke. And, you know, my friends are like,

like dude fuck that shit you're an artist i'm like what are you talking about like i i get the joke back yeah i was like thrilled it was a i opened on a joke that was like uh my friend uh i texted her she was pregnant i said congrats on the baby she just had a baby and she sent me back a picture of her breastfeeding i was like oh okay and then uh she was sorry if that's like the female equivalent of a dick pic and i was like i think it'd be way worse uh i send you a picture of a baby sucking my penis

That was my first joke. I just thought it was like a quick, fun joke. And they were like, can you not open on that? And I was like, well, it's kind of hard to move it. Yeah. Kind of hard to put it in like the middle of the special. Yeah. So then, uh, that was an issue. And then I was just like, well, I'll just keep it. I'll just. Yeah. Yeah. That's a bonus. Yeah. There must be just one less joke that you have to write when you're talking about new material. Right. I know. Yeah. That's the tough thing. But, uh,

I mean, look, they didn't ask me to cut anything. They were just like, this will fuck it up in the algorithm. Like, people will get so funny. They always could say that, algorithm. I know. Like, anytime anyone's, they're just like, oh, yeah, well, we got to do this for the algorithm. I'm like, okay. I know. Sure. Take your shirt off and make this, you know, TikTok video for the algorithm. All right. That's Bert.

Yeah. Right. It's like getting the algorithm. It must also be weird taping a special and like you tape it and you know that it was good. You're happy with your performance, but then you have to wait and be like, well, I don't know if the actual standup special is going to be good because there's so much else that goes into like putting out, uh,

like a video of your performance than actually just doing the performance live. Right. I felt good about it. We did four shows, which is stupid. It's a huge waste of money, but I liked it. I did seven when I did one in Chicago. I'm a, I'm a psycho. Wow. I'll just keep taping. I'm like, no, let's just keep taping them. I'm just watching money just disappear from my account, but I'm like, no, it'll be cool. Just keep taping it. And, uh,

Yeah, by the fourth one, I knew we had a good moment to where a woman I didn't want hecklers. But like if someone heckled, I don't want to put any crowd work in the actual special because there's so much crowd work on the internet right now. And I was like, I'm just gonna do start to finish jokes. And but one woman heckled a joke. And I was like, I kind of got to keep this in because it was a quick moment. But I just said the words Fox News. And she was like, bitch.

And I was like, a joke is coming. It's not like a joke is not coming. You think I'm just going to say the words Fox News? And then she was like, I'm sorry. And I was like, hold on. I've never heard a woman say that before. Let me take that in. So that was like a fun quick one. But I'm like, I'm not going to. I didn't want crowd work in the special. Yeah. What is it about hecklers? What's the mentality of someone that goes to a comedy show and is like, you know what? Now is my time to chip in. It's a good question. I mean, alcohol, maybe just that you, you know.

you're that person i think you probably lack a self-awareness and maybe your group of friends around you is always like like you're that person there's like a weird thing of someone's like well i tell it like it is i'm like well that's not a talent anyone can do that yeah the person who's like i said i'm like anyone can say it yeah say it cleverly yeah i just wonder if those people if they're like that every single show they go to or if something snaps i

And they're like, I can't hold back anymore. I think it's also like, I know because I've seen Shane do a couple shows and I think that there's, and this is a good thing that you want your fans to feel this affinity towards you, but I think a lot of

hecklers show up there being like, I'm going to make Shane Gillis laugh. Yeah. And you're like, well, you're probably not because he's very, very funny and also he's doing a show, but like in their head, they're like, this is my moment. Yeah. I'm going to make him laugh and then we're going to be best friends. Totally. Yeah. Shane is, you know, you might make him laugh at the bar afterwards, but on stage, right. Shane is like,

His fans are also probably just all guttural alcoholics, you know? Shane's insanely funny, but his fans, Shane drinks heavily. Yeah. Oh, we've been with him many times. It's like a video game when I see him, just like, how do I get around Shane without getting blackout drunk? Yeah. And I lose most times, but I saw him in Nashville just recently. I was passing through Nashville. He was at some, I was at some Post Malone concert. It was really fun.

I see Shane. He's like, your beer looks light. I'm like, it's not like a see-through glass. You don't know it's light. But he just assumes you have another beer. And I'm like, I'm hungover. I flew in that day. I'm like, all right, I'll have one. He just keeps an eye on everybody. He's making sure. He's like a fucking bad cop. Well, he did a case race with us on the Yak. And I made the mistake of just being like, oh, I think you and I will be the two heavy hitters. It was like...

dissing Jordan. Like he was just like, oh yeah. And then he like took a part. Afterwards, he's like, yeah, you shouldn't have said that because he just dominated everyone. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I probably shouldn't have. That was a mistake. It's impressive. I like that he's like a coach. He sees people that aren't drinking enough and he's like a football guy. He's a football player. So he just gives you tough love. He's like, come on, pussy. Yeah. Let's go one more rep. Yeah. Get it in. It was brutal. It was him and Joe DeRosa who were just both. Joe is 46. Joe's got to slow down. Joe is like that dude. He like, you know, that friend who's like,

kind of happy to be at a funeral because it's an excuse to do shots. Yeah. Or he's like, we got to do this for Steve. I'm like, you fucking love this, dude. Yeah. You love that he died. Yeah. Another party. Wait, how old are you? I'm 37. Okay. So you still got some, I got a couple more years, but it's hurting. I'm hurting now. I had martinis last night with, with Krista Stefano. We're getting hammered at Shaw's crab house and,

he's with his family we're just pounding martinis he's like let's go on a boat tour so we're in we're doing like and by the way boat tour with a woman just narrating so it's like her comedy show where she's like don't interrupt me no no sound and i'm like so we just got drunk and we have to be quiet yeah so now i'm in my head i'm like yeah you can't you got to be respectful it's her thing but we're just like staring at each other shit-faced looking at your beautiful city yeah

Both knowing it was a mistake to get on that boat. He had a great... I think he liked it. The architecture tours are kind of cool here. It's very cool. It's beautiful. A lot of fun facts. It was also a perfect weather day. Oh, my God. You get one of those perfect, like... So good. Not too hot Chicago summer days. It was like 10 p.m. It was late. Oh, yeah. You guys...

You guys went after dinner? Yeah. Jesus Christ. I didn't know they did night tours. Yeah. It was cool. I want to check that out. It was very cool. So you are addicted to comedy. Have you taken any breaks? I did a little bit last year. Which is what? How long? A week. This is fucking crazy. It's so painful to get back into comedy. To stop and then have to start again is so excruciating. I hate going on feeling weak as a comic. I like always knowing I'm in comedy shape. Yeah.

And, uh, and I like touring. I've talked to like legends and comedy who were like, you're burning yourself out, which is totally true. But like, what else am I going to do? You know, I, I always wanted to make like a TV show or a movie. I'm working on stuff like that. But in the meantime, like I want to go all I love Stan is my favorite thing to do. Yeah. I mean, I laugh at it, but also whenever we take like a week vacation, I'm like, I want to talk about sports. I know. Like I get the itch where I'm like starting to go a little stir crazy in my brain where it's like, I don't have this outlet.

And you can't relax for like an extended period of time. Yeah, it's...

you've gotten to this level because you guys are workaholics. - Yeah. - You don't get to where you got, you don't get this studio by being like, I'm going to Mykonos next week. No, you fucking work your ass off. - I did go to Mykonos this summer. - Did you? - Yeah. - All right, you guys are falling off. - But we came back, we did tape while I was there to talk about NBA free agency. - Yeah. - That's cool. - So there was that. So it's not really a full trip, but like, are you, do you think you're a workaholic in the true sense of the word? Like no matter what you were doing, you would be like this or is it just comedy?

Probably comedy. I really like what I do, so I'm pretty fortunate. Yeah, if I hated what I did, I would probably not be going crazy working at it. Also, when people say workaholic, it's just hilarious to me because I'm like, I did two sets last Monday. It's like 15 minutes each. Less than an hour a day at work. Our job is awesome. They're like, you're a fucking workaholic. I was home in an hour 15. Yeah, when I say I'm a workaholic, it's like, oh, you did a three-hour video game stream.

exactly like yeah i guess i am guilty as charged my podcast is literally me getting shit-faced and and people like you had a hard day at work like you work all day i'm like i was drunk with my friends yeah yeah it's not pretty that rules yeah that sounds fun so you you do you tour a lot you do a lot of shows you're going to europe right yeah going to amsterdam never been it'll be fun only there at night unfortunately we added a show i can't but that's the weird thing is like you undersell in some places

And then Plays Lake Ames, and we added a show. It's crazy. Do you have to plan ahead to see? Anne Frank House? Well, stand-up comedy is like- You've got to get tickets like six weeks out for that thing. I know. It's a hot ticket. I don't want to be calling my agent. You've got to get me in, dude. It is crazy. But when you're doing shows, I would imagine that different audiences react differently to different jokes, right? Yeah. When you're traveling overseas-

There's also maybe a small language barrier sometime. Do you have to think about which jokes like a Dutch audience is going to be into? Totally. Yeah. You don't, sometimes you can groom your set. You go all the way through it. And then by the way, groom, that's why you go through it. And then you don't realize till you're mid,

and you're like, fuck, they don't have Panda Express in London. You know, you're just like, shit, I don't know. So yeah, it's stressful. You don't realize until midway through, but the shit that's universal is so funny. I had a joke in my special about like,

Like I went down a girl and it was, I didn't know how long it was down there, but it was at least 22 minutes because the entire episode of Frasier played in the background. And like how, you know, I'm like fucking Niles. Like I had a whole thing about that. And everyone like applauds when I say Niles in Australia. Like Niles is that global? He's huge. So it's funny the shit that people don't mix, but then they don't catch, but then the stuff they do catch, you're like, wow, this is global. Yeah. Yeah. We got to talk about your Knicks. Yeah, dude. Jalen Brunson. I love him so much. I couldn't love a player more. Wow.

he clearly like someone's paying him. Someone's paying him in New York city. I hope so. Yeah. There's gotta be something to leave that kind of money on the table. Like, dude, I, I was at so many games this year and like, I, I can't remember loving a player this much. I mean, I love Starks and Ewing and Oak and the nineties Knicks so much Mason, but like,

That team was lovable in like a way like they're going to fuck you up. These guys are lovable and like their best. We're just watching best friends win together. Yeah. Awesome. Right. It's cool. And I feel like, you know, for the most part, people root against New York City at like a national level. But you know why? Yeah. Why the Knicks is my question. I understand the Yankees. Because you're also Yankees fans.

That's kind of like the math that we do in our head. But the Knicks were so good and so fun that I feel like, for the most part, America didn't hate the Knicks. We loved watching the Knicks because they were a fun team to play. It was cool watching them, like you said, friends from college playing on the same team, having success in the NBA playoffs. And their style of play, I feel like it translates. It's like universal, so we love them. It's beautiful. It's like what you hear the 60s and 70s Knicks play, like just moving the ball.

You know, the injuries did us in, but, like, I think this year we're pretty good. It just hurts so much to lose Hardenstein. He's, like, he was one of my faves. Yeah. He's a bruiser. He's a high IQ guy, great passer. Like, I loved how he played. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Jalen Brunson is so much fun. I mean, like, he bet on himself and, like, the fact that he...

just ended up in New York where like people love that style, like New York point guards and all that stuff. It's just, we never had that guy either. Like, look at like a few, who are we starting? Shane Larkin. Yeah. You know, I'm like a fucking Tony Douglas. No disrespect to these guys, but like, no, all the new respect, NBA players, but, but they're barely NBA players. And now we have a guy who's like, I think it's fair to say he's at, he's in the combo of a top 10 guy. In my opinion, he's definitely in my top 10. Yeah.

You know, I'm sure people will argue that, but he's a hell of a player. Yeah, I got into an argument because I was like, superstars in the NBA are like, there's like five of them. Yeah. And I was like, he's not a superstar yet. And Knicks fans were very upset about that. But I was like, he's on the way. He's got to be like deep in the playoffs. Here's why I would go against that, though. Yeah. He elevates in the playoffs. Of course. To me, like, you have to, okay, is he a regular season superstar? Debatable, fine, but...

You got to put a guy like Jimmy Butler in that conversation too. See, he's not a superstar to me either. But in the playoffs he is. Yeah, and I also think he's going to be there. Him and Anthony Edwards are going to be superstars where it's like the face of the NBA in a year or two. Where it's like that was the first deep run for Jalen Brunson and this next year is going to be a big year for him.

And if he goes deep again, it's like, oh shit, this guy is, he's the real deal. He is the real deal. He is the real deal. And he's fearless and a closer. Just losing, we don't have depth at the big. I loved Hardenstein. I knew he was leaving because I DM'd with him a little and I invited him to the Comedy Cellar and he said, oh man, I would've, but I'm in Houston. I was like, would've? This is a week out, you know? So I know it means he's not coming back. Do you ever feel weird DMing players? No, because...

It's not like I'm a fucking chick sliding in all these DMs, but I'm just like, oh, great game. Occasionally, great game or something. Good game. Yeah. He had so many huge plays. Well, does he follow you? Yeah. Oh, all right. That's totally normal. So that's why I did it. I'm not just cold sliding in, but he...

Yeah, we were at a game and he came over to high five me in the playoffs. And Chris DiStefano and his fucking meatball cop friend got in front of us to try to intercept the high five. And I was like, what the hell are you doing? That was my high five. That was my high five. And he went away shaking his head because this guy was like 300 pounds of muscle, Chris's cop friend. He's like, no one's taking that high five. Break your hand. And then after the game, he DM'd me. I tried to high five you, but some dumbass got in front of you. And I just showed it to Chris. I go, you're the dumbass. You cost me a fucking playoff high five.

I loved him. I mean, the energy of the garden was something unlike... It is special. I was skeptical because I was like, it can't be that much different. But then I went to a playoff game two years ago, and I was like, okay, this is pretty sick. That was against Atlanta, you mean? The Cavs. The series against the Cavs. Oh, yeah, that was a good one. But I was just like, this is sick. Like, this is... You could tell that everyone's just in it, and it's so loud throughout the entire game. Dude, it was epic. I mean...

here in tracy morgan i had i you know i was lucky enough to get good seats some of those games one one game tracy morgan just he turns behind to it look at us and he goes real animals eat meat like i don't know what that means you're just like hell yeah dude it means something in that moment the way that he says you're like he's right no we were like not even like fuck yeah they do dude yeah you had all the old nicks there which was a little depressing because it wasn't like

You know, there were good players, but not like, oh, man. Bernard King's a legend. Clyde's a legend. Yeah, but it was like Steph Marbury and like Marry Stoudemire. Yeah. Hey, Marry gave us one of the best half seasons of our life. He did. That was a beautiful thing. Yeah. Look, Marbury, it didn't work out. That was a tough era. Yeah. That was a tough one. But he's a New York kid, and I think his story is still pretty cool. It is. So I was having this conversation with a couple of buddies the other day. The New York sports Mount Rushmore. Yeah.

Yeah. It's kind of depressing because it's probably all Yankees. Like I was thinking about it and I was like, is it all Yankees? Well, so it's Jeter, Ruth, Mantle. Yeah. But then you but then you say we could go like 10 deep. True. With Yankees. But and then and then it's better than a lot of other teams. Absolutely. Maybe Mariano Rivera is not even on it. Yeah. Yeah. He would. I think I settled on Mantle, Ruth, Moe and Jeter. But like DiMaggio. Yeah.

DiMaggio. You can't put Mantle over DiMaggio. So DiMaggio over Mantle. But then, like, what other sport would get in? Joe Namath? No, he sucked. Eli would get in over Joe. Eli is definitely in over Joe. Yeah. But, like, it's kind of depressing when you think about the other sports. You're like, who else? Razor and Reed are pretty iconic. Yeah.

But the Yankees are so iconic. Right. I get why. I mean, you didn't say Garrick. Like, Luke Garrick's numbers are fucking stupid. Right. And you leave off, like, Mark Messier. And, like, there's a bunch of... But, like, the Yankees are just the Yankees. Lawrence Taylor. Yeah, Lawrence Taylor. Yeah. But I think it's all Yankees. Gretzky.

Yeah, but Kretzky at the end. You know, Messier was older when he was a Ranger. Lundqvist. But it's all Yankees probably. Yeah, Lundqvist. He had to do it. He's a man, that guy is. He still is. He's still a gorgeous guy. Yeah. I mean, would Ewing even touch it? It's just tough because of the Yankees, you said, and the winning. But, like, yeah, Ewing. I love Ewing so much. Yeah. I mean, that voiceover he did for Brunson, I was like, fuck.

I love that we didn't even consider any Mets on this list. No. Yeah, the problem is who makes it? When he dykes for it. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of depressing. There's a lot of cities where you're like, boom, that's the Mount Rushmore. Yeah. And then New York, yeah, the Yankees can fill it up, but then you're like, wait, we don't even have any other sports? I think for the Knicks, you've got to put Stephen A. Smith on there. Yeah.

Yeah, that was a little much. What did you think about Stephen A during the playoffs? Like they made the game about Stephen A. Smith. Well, isn't that what he always does? Yeah. I was shocked to see that Stephen A. Smith made it. Did you think at any point like, hey, the Pacers are also playing in this or because you're New Yorker through and through, you're like, no, this is just how coverage should be.

No, I knew it was not okay for what he was doing, but I also don't really watch him. I kind of mute until the game starts. I don't want to watch his halftime show. It's awful. I mean, when they go from TNT to him, I'm like, this is the biggest turnaround I've ever seen. Yeah, he just kind of... It's like when you play in the park with someone who's an ISO guy and doesn't pass to anyone, that's what he does. And then you see Ernie and he's dishing it out. He's getting everyone cooking. It's like...

It's just not good TV to me. No. Yeah, it was very strange. I kept feeling like they were just giving the Pacers more ammo. It's like, this is exactly what they want. Well, they won because of the injuries. I know that I'm going to get shit every time I say this, but it's like, they're not beating us without... I mean, we didn't have one starter who's our current starter playing with Brunson. Yeah, it was pretty bad at the end. Yeah. It was... And when Brunson broke his hand, I was at that game. That was hell. Where do you land on the Tibbs argument? He's great. But...

Like, I know the injuries weren't exactly, you know, some of them were freak injuries, but this is what I struggled with with the Bulls is, like, he gets his teams to play so hard throughout the regular season. Yeah. And they just run out of gas in the playoffs and they get injured and they just, everything falls apart. Yeah.

We're in love. Is he toxic? Who knows? You know, like if I love a girl that's treating me like shit, I still love her. Yeah. So I don't know. You're asking the wrong guy. I love Tibbs. Like I think he's, they buy in. If you don't buy into Tibbs. Yeah. He's not right. But if the best player and all the other best players buy in, like Randall bought in before Brunson, Brunson buys in. No, they do. They all die. I mean, they all play so hard for him. OG is the only one that worries me a little because of his durability. Yeah.

and same with Mitch, of course, but like, I think if they're healthy for the playoffs, we're like, we're tough. We just need that backup five. Like a Hardenstein was so valuable. Yeah. He was so good. So what happens next year? I think we have to see how this plays out. Cause part of me is like, is our defense going to be insane? Or are we going to, is our shooting not going to be quite good enough without Dante in the lineup? So yeah,

I mean, but the length defensively with Bridges and OG and then Randall just beating you up. I mean, it could be a physical team. Yeah. And a fun team to root for too. Yeah. Look, Boston is an amazing team, but they're just not fun. Tatum is not fun. Does he have aura?

He has no aura. Yeah. I don't know. No, no, we're not sure. We're firmly on the no aura. I mean, Brown has some aura. Oh, he's definitely got aura. I think Tatum has no aura. I think Drew has aura. Yeah. But Tatum is like, once your mom starts being like, this isn't fair. It's like, shut the fuck up, dude. Yeah.

- Who gives a shit? Like this isn't, no, you don't get greatness from a supportive mom. You're not an alpha, Tony Soprano had a bad mom, he's a fucking alpha. LeBron's mom's fucking his teammates, he's an alpha. You need a bit of like, yeah, maybe he should be on the bench.

Look at the numbers. He should have been on the bench in Team USA. He wasn't a good enough spot-up shooter. Devin Booker's a better spot-up shooter, and then he doesn't play the D that Drew plays. He's a great player who should have been not getting minutes over LeBron or KD. His mom needs to be crazier. I like that take. I wonder, too, if they hadn't won the title, would this conversation even be happening? Because it was more like,

I mean, Tatum's a very good player. He should have probably played more minutes than just not playing some games. But if they don't win, are people as up in arms about not playing? Well, he kind of anointed himself. He's like, I'm the face of the NBA. And we're like, did you run that by anyone else? Yeah. Because there's Anthony Edwards. Yeah. Devin Booker's a great young player. Luka.

Jalen Brunson is a great young player. People have forgotten about Giannis. I haven't. I know you haven't because you were heavily recruiting him. I was, and I know that I fucked up last time I was here saying he'll definitely come to the Knicks. Yeah. And guess what? You did say that. And I'm not done saying it could still happen. Did you blame yourself? No, I blame... Did you DM him? I DM'd his brother and I got left on read. Oh, shit. I got left on... He follows me. I thought it was safe...

So you'd help the Nassus? Yeah, I did their benefit a couple years ago. And dude, I killed. I went up and I got applause break from Mayor Adams on an AIDS joke. I was like, I'm fucking locked in right now. I did this old Magic Johnson joke about how...

My ex was like, "You're not crying during this breakup, "you cried during the Magic Johnson documentary." And I was like, "You think you're in the same inspiration category? "Imagine if you played in the All-Star game with HIV, "you wouldn't fuck me when you had a headache." And I look into the crowd and Mayor Adams is like this and I'm like, "Man, I'm fucking crushing." And I see Giannis and his brother in the crowd going,

I was like, oh, they're so innocent, you know? And then his brother was like, hit me up if you're ever in Greece. And I was in Greece and I hit him up and he just left me undressed. Oh, no. That's tough. But that's also a great move by him to be like, because, you know, you always be like, oh, yeah, I'll see you next time. You're like, hit me up if you're in Greece. No one ever actually follows through except you. I follow. I never do it, but I was like, I'm in Greece and I think he's here. Told me. And I kind of want to see Greece with the Antetokounmpo's, you know? Yeah, the way they see it, yeah. Yeah, but...

No, I don't think I blew it. I think, you know, it's he was he's loyal. I think it was a really dumb decision to be loyal because Dame is getting older. Doc is not the greatest coach in the world. And Brooke Lopez is getting older. Middleton's injury prone. I think this might be the year Giannis complains. Would I be shocked? You wouldn't be shocked. No, I would be a little shy. I don't know, though. But like what you just laid out.

And like, if it doesn't go well and they went, you know, all in on the Dame thing. Yeah. This could be the year where he's like, what the fuck is going on here? He's been there. There's something about the European players. They don't really like maybe it's cultural. They just don't like complain the same way that. Yeah.

Our guys have complained the last five years that have kind of ruined the NBA in some ways. Luka, he complains. Yeah, Luka complained. But mostly to these people. But Jokic has never. Giannis has never. Isn't that interesting? Yeah. Giannis is... I think Jokic doesn't care enough. He's just like the great guy who's like, yeah, whatever. He's the best dude ever. He's like, I happen to be great at basketball. Yeah, exactly. It's like a side hustle for his horse racing. And then Giannis...

is so competitive that I think part of him's like, I don't want people to forget how great I am. Right. This might be the redemption year because we kind of have forgotten. Like, if you ask people right now, top five, he sometimes gets left off because he's been injured. He can't be just because of what he does on TV. Agreed. Totally agree. Like, he is top five, but...

Because they got bounced against the Heat in the first round, and then this year he was hurt. That was brutal. But that's what I'm saying. That's why Jimmy, you have to say, in the playoffs is a superstar. Different guy. Because what he did was insane, and it gives me no pleasure to give love to Miami fans. Yeah. Did you take any joy watching Team USA? Because you root against most of these guys. No, no, no. Were you able to put all that aside? It's amazing. I'm proud to be an American. It's an incredible thing to watch LeBron with Barack Obama gray hair –

throwing down crazy dunks kd hitting fat nut closing shots against serbia steph looking like a phenom like no it was a beautiful thing i i loved it and uh no i took so much joy it also was to me like the the significance of just like it felt like an era ending you know because those guys steph lebron kd if you had to bet would you bet any of them to win another title i probably wouldn't

no right so it's like not in this current right it's kind of like the end of like this era of basketball for america where it's like they went out on top the avengers right it's literally tony stark dying oh spoiler never seen it oh fuck yeah god damn it the sean mccoy wait tony i thought tony stark was the green goblin or whatever all right okay but uh you know uh

He is a Green Goblin. No, that's Willem Dafoe. Oh, who's... Who I heard has got a monster hog. Oh, really? Yeah, apparently his dick's so big, Lars von Trier had to cut it out of a movie. Like, he had to get a penis double, which is amazing to me that that job exists, that there's a guy just, like, picking up a phone, like, is it too big or too little? Doesn't matter. I'm there. I'll be there.

Yeah, you got to scout that out in the auditions. Put on something tight. What is Robert Downey Jr.? What character is he going to be? He's going to be Dr. Doom. Dr. Doom, yeah. So you're a big Marvel guy? No, but I know that. Yeah, we don't know anything. It pisses people off every time we talk about Marvel. I only saw Black Panther because I'm an ally, but I haven't seen the rest of it. I didn't see Black Panther. Really? Yeah, not an ally. It's so funny they got all this credit for doing that in all black cast, but it's like, dude, you did it after Ant-Man.

Yeah, you got Ant-Man first. You got Ant-Man before the black movie. We got to do Ant-Man first. Paul Rudd, superhero. Okay, I guess we've conquered all the hills now we can do this one. But yeah, we don't know shit about Marvel. Yeah, I'm not a big Marvel guy, but I know that. Sounds like you kind of are. Look, I mean, that one was fun. The Avengers one was fun.

Yeah, we wouldn't know. We didn't see it. Yeah, so the Olympics were fun getting to root for those guys. And LeBron, he did have, he's like embracing the gray hair. I don't know if he's going to come back and dye the beard, but it felt like he was intentionally showing I've got gray facial hair. It was real life Uncle Drew. Yeah. It was like, holy shit, LeBron could, it'd be so funny if he just kept playing.

If he just was on the next Olympic team and Tatum had to ride the bench again. That would be funny. Just as an old... Like, he's got gray hair. He's fucking, you know, he's taking Cialis. But getting to, like, truly love LeBron James when he's playing, it was a foreign concept for me because, like, he's...

He's corny, he's funny when you watch him try to be, like take himself super seriously sometimes, whether he's reading all these books that he never gets past, like page two of, or like catching him in a lie. Yeah, what is that? What is the posing with the book? Well, he read the biography of Malcolm X and then they asked him like what his favorite part was and then he like paused and he's like, you know, all of it. I just enjoyed all of it. Yeah, Trump.

What's your favorite part of the Bible? All the passages. I can't pick one. It's funny because he wants to be everything to everyone. And the way he goes about that, it's an interesting insight into his mind. Be KD. Yeah. Be the dude who's all of us, who's just writing back to angry people. Yeah, who's just mad online. He wins a game and then he's just calling out people's citizenship.

I loved it. It's like 3 a.m. and he's trolling Serbia. I loved it. They just beat him. I love that too. We love KD now. But getting to root for LeBron James, it woke something up in me where I was like, maybe I've been a closeted LeBron sexual my entire life. Wow. And maybe now I got to tell my dad or I got to tell my mom and she's going to be disappointed in me. And it's like, what's this all about? What are these new feelings that I'm feeling inside? Yeah.

But he's great. He's fun to root for when he's your guy. Well, this is what we do. I think real sports fans, you don't root for the guy who's the number one, who's the anointed. He's literally called King from when he was a rookie. Yeah. I felt this way with Kobe. I didn't like Kobe until the end. It's like wrestling. They kind of reinvent themselves over time, and then you're kind of like, fuck, Kobe went heel for a minute, then he was back. It was kind of like, by the end, I loved Kobe. Yeah. But it takes a minute. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, when you're in the moment, you're just like, fuck this guy. And then when he leaves, you're like, oh, it's weird now. All my friends were like, Kobe's the man. So I was like, no, fuck that. I'm a spree guy. I think T-Mac is cool. I would go for the other guys. I don't want to say. What? I think Kobe's, he's very overrated because he's rated so high. Like he gets talked about like LeBron or Michael Jordan. I don't think he's in that.

That's a fair take. I mean, he was for that. It's tough. It's by era, really. Right. I mean, he was that era's greatest. But he also like he wasn't the best player on the three P team. No way. I mean, Shaq was an absolute monster. But he went back to back. Yeah. You know, I mean, he was. I'm going to get shit for that.

Again, it's not because he's not great. It's because he gets talked in a group that I just don't know. There's like a hollowed group of players that are in that upper, upper, upper echelon.

I think he's right behind it. Yeah. He's also become a mindset where like if somebody goes out there and like in high school, they win like 120 to 10. You're like, that's that mama mentality. Yeah. Like Kobe. Or if somebody doesn't do something, if someone doesn't act like an asshole, sometimes like Kobe would never do that. Yeah. There's also moments where I do. I like, I wish Kobe would have been there.

Like at the game on Saturday. And for the women's game. He was a big ambassador for. And he would have been like staring down the other team. Like it would have been cool, those moments. You know what I mean? Isn't it kind of annoying when the guys on the bench are trying to hog the, like when they kept panning to Mello. I'm like, Curry's the one hitting the shots. Yeah. Show Curry. Although Mello calling plays was sick. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. Yeah, he did. I mean, Mello was the best when he, he was at his best when he was on the Olympic. He was a sixth man. Yeah. That's what's so funny about it. It's like these dudes are coming off the bench.

He's phenomenal. I know. Mello is awesome. Olympic Mello was the coolest Mello, I think. Yeah, he just got passed by KD. I like having Draymond there, too. Draymond should travel with the team. Yeah. That was so petty. He should be just so petty. And you know, Gobert's like, dude, enough. You choked me. Yeah, and I'm a joke. Like, everyone laughs at me.

Yeah, Draymond just still twisting that knife. Gobert, the hatred for Gobert really does remind me when like a hack comedian blows up too much. Yeah. And he gets paid too much money and you're just like, fuck that guy. You didn't give a shit about him like before he got paid. He was like an afterthought. But then he gets like really rich and like this guy fucking blows. And then he's like, I just took the money. Yeah. Like you hate me for just taking the money, but we do. Do you think hack comedians like walk around knowing that everyone hates them? Some of them and some of them just...

drink their own kool-aid they yeah they're like i'm like why would i get all this if i wasn't the greatest yeah because that would be like pretty brutal imposter syndrome to walk around being like everyone else in comedy hates me but i'm selling out arenas yeah i mean it's those worst lives yeah yeah you're selling out arenas you're probably having a good life yeah true yeah you can delude yourself into anything

I don't think Rudy Gobert should be unhappy. No. Although deep down, like somewhere, he's probably like, man, I wish anyone respected me. It sucks when all the bigs are shitting on you. Like, you know, Shaq and all these guys are like, this guy sucks, you know? And it's like, and you're kind of like Shaq, you should be a little unbiased. This is, you know, but that's kind of funny that he's not. Draymond's hatred of him. It does stem from jealousy. That's the thing. It's like,

Because he's got four DPOYs. I know that's the problem. It's like you have that success. That's why you should just never have too much success because then everyone's going to shit on you. Like if he just had two defensive player of the years because then he wins one and then they go to the playoffs. It's like this is your defensive player of the year. Yeah. It's like he should just give one back. He should say I don't want it this year. Yeah.

You know what? If he takes himself out of it, that's actually the smart thing to do. That's what I would do if I were him. He plays really well against shitty players, against shitty offenses. And so he pads his stats a little bit. Then sometimes in the playoffs you see him get exposed and he gets cooked by good players. So just let some shitty players get some more points against you this year. Take yourself out of the running that way.

Yeah. And also, yeah, I'm sure the French thing for some reason isn't helping. There's a lot of problems. Oh, the French thing is always, we're always going to hate French people. And we will blame him for COVID too. Holy shit. But just kind of like wrong place, wrong time. Yeah, but he mocked it. He came back and he like touched every microphone and then they're like, yeah, it turns out he did have COVID and now we have to cancel all of basketball. Yeah, I'm now thinking about it. Wemby's going to be a great test. He's like, how much do we hate French people? Nah, he's already alive.

Yeah, no, I'm saying he's going to supersede that. The fact that he cried, too, when they lost. I love that. I love that. He could be the best ever. Yeah, no, he's going to be a problem. Cooper flag.

Cooper Flag's next up. The main event. I'm excited about that. I've already set my tanking watch on that. I want Cooper Flag in D.C. That would be great. That'd be cool. Man, you guys are making weird moves. The Valanchunas one? I like what we're doing, though, because we at least have a plan now. What's the plan? For years, the plan was basically tank. Yeah.

And try to just turn everything over. But for years it was like, you know, finish 10th in the East. And then maybe one year we'll get in as an eight seed. Then we'll get cooked. But post John Wall, there hasn't been a lot of actionable plan going on in D.C. But we got the guy from Oklahoma City running the front office.

He at least knows what he's doing. Then we got Kuzma and Jordan pool, which I think are great players to have. If you're trying to lose, you know, like give the keys to a franchise to Jordan pool, let him go out there and do his thing. And naturally you will lose a shitload of games. He'll get his points. He'll go like 10 for 40 shooting, but at least there's a plan now.

That's all I can ask for. That's fair. Yeah, I was hammered at a game once and I was just yelling at John Wall and I was just like, man, you fucking, you got fat. You let yourself go. And he turned and looked at me and I was like, oh, Jesus Christ.

And then years later he writes this book about depression. I'm like, oh, I fucking hate myself. Oh, he turned it on you. I got to dial it back, man. Shit. You were just being a good fan though. I was trying to be good. Cause you, you, but I do notice them now when people are going a little too hard. I'm like, I'm getting, I can tell I'm getting older. Cause I'm like, ah, that was kind of, yeah. Take it down a notch. If you become the take it down a notch guy, you're getting older.

I mean, I've done it like at restaurants where I'm like, he turned down the music a little. Yeah. I actually can't hear when every pill you take is a downer. Yeah. You know, you're like, whatever makes it tomorrow. Let's fucking wrap it up. That kid getting in a LeBron's face after they won the gold. Do you see that? He needs to take it down a notch. Yeah. What'd he do? He just went, he went up to LeBron on the streets of Paris and went,

wanted a picture and LeBron was like, not now, kid. And kind of pushed him out of the way. Wow. And then he started dancing. And then he started dancing. So people that hate LeBron James will be like, look what a disgusting human being LeBron James is. Michael Jordan would never treat a child like that. Michael Jordan was kind to every kid that he ever met in his entire life. I've found some really good hater LeBron accounts that I follow just so I can get my hate up.

Yeah, I'm not a fan. I've never been a guy... I love that he's on Team USA and I root for him there, but I'm not a LeBron guy. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's basically... It's probably the most like...

cut and dry either you're a bronze sexual or you're not like there aren't people like some people are no I'm still waiting for year 21 he's on the way you're coming we come in all stripes it's like your college years they need to yeah I'm experimenting with LeBron right went abroad I always told I was taught growing up naturally you're supposed to love the Washington Wizards a man loves the Washington Wizards and I've thought that I've loved the Washington Wizards but now I tried LeBron I think I like yeah you went pretty fun went abroad for a couple weeks and then came back you're like I

I kind of like that. Add another stripe to the flag for us bronze sexuals. Representation matters. I hate the Lakers too. That's another part of the problem. It's just an unlikable...

franchise and I've always felt that way I mean look it was in looking back they're great for the sport obviously Kobe Shaq those years were awesome but like have you had any like self-reflection where you're like the Lakers are the Yankees of course okay because like that's the the two franchises that do the oh he'll be a Laker soon oh he'll be a Yankee someday yeah that's the two like

shining examples of it where they and they're usually right where they're like oh yeah free agent will come here yeah no problem now the yankees it is complicated for me because i grew up because my grandfather was a yankees fan so i grew up just watching like bernie williams and paulo neo on his lap you know yeah and then you get older and everyone's like these are the fuck and you're like it's too late yeah i'm a fan yeah you know yeah and the yankees history is awesome yeah it is

Especially all the World Series they won before they let black players play. That's true. It's a lot of them. Yeah. There's a lot of them out there. They're really good now, though. I was watching a Babe Ruth documentary, and it was literally just old white men who were just like... It was like one sentence about how he walked out on his wife, an adopted kid, and it was like, he walked out on this family...

Babe Ruth was one of the kindest people I've ever been around. He was a gentleman. I'm like, didn't you just say he walked? That was one sentence. Yeah. Every other sentence was like, what he did for those cancer-stricken children was the Lord's work. Have you seen the theory that Babe Ruth could possibly be Dominican? I love that one. He looks...

A little bit. Yeah, right. And it's just like this would throw all the old sports writers into a tizzy being like, yeah, he was Dominican. The sports writers is such a weird... Because I've watched the Pete Rose doc too. And it is weird. Clearly, Pete Rose is not a good human. If you want to keep him out of the Hall of Fame...

You're looking at the Hall of Fame, do it for the statutory rape, not the gambling. That's such a weird line to draw on the sand. Like, you got Ty Cobb in who's pushing pregnant women downstairs. Although Ty Cobb had a little bit of a, like, when... Who was it? Oh, it was when they brought all the Negro League, like, records into MLB, and there was a lot of, like, Ty Cobb discourse, and I had no idea, but, like, Ty Cobb essentially...

Got completely slandered by this one writer who wrote a biography about him that just made up shit. Like everything you know. But he did beat his wife. Yeah. But like there's like the beating like a handicapped person and like him being like a crazy racist. Like none of that was true. No.

Which is nuts. Wait, did he like Babe Ruth? I don't know. That'll tell us if he was Dominican or not. But it was eye-opening to be like, wait, how did this happen that one person wrote a book about Ty Cobb and then we just were told Ty Cobb was one of the worst humans ever and a lot of it was just made up. I'm not saying he's a good... I'm not vouching for Ty Cobb, but...

But it was crazy to read about it and be like, wait, this guy just made up a lot of this stuff. That's what you could do as a writer in the old days. Right. He had a vendetta. I'll destroy you in my column. Yeah. That was the power. I mean, there's a story about Joe DiMaggio leaving a hotel room after he just banged someone.

and he sees, I think it was Walter Winchell on the street, and he just looked at him like, fuck, this guy's gonna write a piece on me. I'm gonna get trash or like poon hunting on the road. And he just looked at him, he goes, win today and I won't write about this. And they won. - He played the best game of his life. - Pretty cool. - Having your biggest hater become your biographer is an all time bad move, bad move. I don't want that, yeah.

Credit to that guy for at least having a vendetta. It worked. I'm going to ruin this guy for the rest of eternity. Yeah, if you polled 100 sports fans, like Ty Cobb, bad guy, it's like, yeah, the worst. Yeah. I bet he wasn't a good guy. No, that's what I'm saying. I'm not vouching for him, but it was crazy to read it and be like, wait, this guy made up a lot of these stories that we walk around being like, you know, Ty Cobb would go spikes

up on everyone. Yeah. Is that not true? I think a lot of it is made up. I don't know. I feel like most good players would try to spike the second baseman back then. Yeah, you play hard. I feel like it wasn't just him. Yeah, and there was also that story. You know the Mickey Mantle story about when he got head underneath the right field bleachers? Is that true? Yeah, he wrote a thank you note or something. What was the exact story behind that? I'm going to find it. I'll find it. Look that up. I thought that was Daryl Strawberry for some reason. Because back in the day, sports writers...

we were told growing up that like baseball is the most poetic sport. They wrote about it in the most like flowery terms ever. Yeah. A day at the ballpark is nothing like anything else you'll ever experience. They wrote about all the baseball players like they were gentlemen. No, Mickey Mantle was getting his dick sucked underneath the right field bleachers at Yankee Stadium. Oh yeah. During a game. So the Yankees hit up Mickey Mantle and were like, the 50th anniversary is coming up. Can you please write something about being a Yankee? And the,

prompt was I consider the following my outstanding experience at Yankee Stadium and he wrote I got a blowjob under the right field bleachers by the Yankee bullpen and then this event occurred on or about he got sucked off by all the middle he said it was about the third inning third or fourth inning I had a pulled groin and couldn't focus at the time she was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the come after I came in her mouth I said don't ask me I'm no cocksucker

Mickey Mantle. The All-American Boy. Poetic. Yeah. I don't know. Is that true? That's got to be a real letter, right? I think it's true. I think it's sold in auction. Pretty crass for a- Don't ask me. I'm not a cocksucker. It's such a great line. What is he, like a Tulsa, Oklahoma boy? Yeah. What a line. Yeah. Oh, man. And in doing it, there's a star next to it. He signed it Mickey Mantle star, and then underneath the star, he starred and said the All-American Boy. I love that. Yeah.

I had a sense of humor. Yeah. So are they back? Are the Yankees fully back? I don't know, man. It's hard to tell. That trade was pretty big, you know, but I don't know, man. Pitching is everything in the playoffs, so we'll see. Yeah. It feels like the Yankees just do the same thing every year. Yeah. A million home runs and they get to the playoffs. They're like, shit. Those are never the teams that win at all, except maybe the Astros have a lot of power. But they have pitching, too. Yeah, and they do the little things, too. Yeah, we'll see. Like cheating.

Yeah, cheating today. Baseball is such a weird sport where you can be by far the best team, and then in the playoffs, it's just about who's hot at that game. But hockey is the same way. Yeah, hockey, yeah. You're a big hockey guy. You get a hockey goalie standing on his head, then any team can win. But yeah, baseball playoffs, it's like pitching, and then if you get two guys that just catch fire out of nowhere, then it's like we saw the Diamondbacks in the World Series last year. Yeah. Crazy shit happens. Yeah. But it is fun to see like,

Yankees do the same thing, get to the playoffs. Same thing happens. Aaron Boone. Okay. Come back next year. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I wonder how long they're going to let him hold the reins. You know, he's got blackmail. He's got him and Cashman have to have black. I feel like I've been hearing about them getting fired every year for the last five years. You just don't want to waste Aaron judges prime. Cause this is fucking insane. Yeah. And he's just a beast. Yeah. Um, all right, well, Sam, this has been awesome. Uh,

I got a rowback question. Last question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Rowback.com. We were talking about it earlier, but for people who don't know, one of my favorite things that Sam does is he goes on local early morning talk shows, news shows, and just bombs on purpose. So are we worried that it's getting too big that it's going to be like, you can't do this anymore? Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, you said it, you know, back there, you're like, you have to go international. I've tried. It's not a big thing internationally. I'm trying. I'm doing Baltimore TV this week. So I hope I hope I can fingers crossed. Yeah, it's tough, though. You got to have the getaway car waiting for you got to have the car outside. Like I would say it's like a bank robbery. So so when did it start?

Pittsburgh is where it started because I was like in a bad mood. When you're a young comic, you're required to do morning TV. It's in the contract. They don't give you a door deal. So you're like, this is just for the club that they're making me do it. I don't see another cent from this. So after you do it for like a decade, you start to get a little bitter.

And I was kind of like, you know what? Fuck this. So in the middle of it, I just kind of snapped. They never do research. It's always like the corniest shit. No one who's watching this is going to come to my show. Right. It's like, you know, people who are like, you know, soccer moms or something who just will not find me funny. So it's like the only way this is selling tickets is if I just burn a hole. So I think the question she asked was...

So when did you first catch the funny bug? Have you always been funny? And I was like, no, but when I was young, I was molested by my uncle and he was funny. So I kind of caught the powers like in Spider-Man. And she just kind of paused and was like, okay, I don't know what to do with that. And I left and I remember asking them for the tape, the producer, and she just looked at me and she goes,

get out now you've been doing it like i see the clips they're so fucking fun i realized like people started sharing that to the point that i was like i guess i should do that i guess i should start doing morning tv and then it just got bad every time to the point that i was like i guess i'll just keep doing this is there an art to bombing yeah it's fun it's you know i mean look there's no really killing on those shows either there's no right so it's just like

I'm kind of, I'm playing for whoever's watching. I'm not playing for who's in the room, but they don't want, I've noticed though, they don't want you to come off as like, they're the guy there. They don't, the guys are the more insecure ones. The women are usually really cool.

but the guys are kind of like, no, I'm the big, I'm the big shot around here. I'm the funny one. Yeah. You see them try to be funnier. Like you ain't the funny one. I'll tell you that. Yeah. So I remember going on there and just rattling them and saying shit they can't say. So I'm like, you know, if I'm making like a pedo joke on like, you know, some NBC affiliate in, in Philadelphia, the guy's like, what the fuck is that? Like, I can't do that. So, uh,

It just started taking off. I don't know. It's weird. It's the perfect bit, too, because those people, those broadcasters are trained to smile through everything. Exactly. And they have to be cheery and they have to be bubbly. And then you just drop like, yeah, I was raped by my uncle. Yeah.

And they just have to be like, oh. There were people who thought that was true. Someone messaged me like, hell yeah, speaking truth to power, taking your pain and making it funny. I'm like, oh, that's not true. I was just trying to ruin the segment. Did you miss the Spider-Man part of it? People thought it was real. Yeah, and then, yeah, it's just funny that they have to be so scripted. Anything that's off script on those shows is like, they're like, what do I do? Right. I'm used to this. They panic. So it's just funny to watch it go off the rails. It's so good, man. I have a publicist who's like,

losing sleep over these because I can't book them I can't cold email them so she gets the hate she gets they'll be like why'd you do this why'd you send this guy here but the funny thing is they don't remember she's like now you're ruining it for my clients who like take it seriously who want to go on she'll email them a month later and they'll be like we had some guy come on a month ago and we're

and pretend that Columbus, Ohio has a human trafficking crisis and he wouldn't let it go. And she's like, that's disgusting. Someone would, and they just let her know. No one remembers. So, you know, it ends up working out, but she's, uh,

yeah she just messaged me she's like i've up my xanax i what are you gonna do people get mad i did one in buffalo from the delta lounge i put like duct tape over gary veder who tours with me's mouth and i pretended he's my gim sex slave i just kept saying like he's not my gim sex slave the guy in buffalo was like all right well that's the segment for today like he just they abruptly cut it off and then rachel feinstein who's like one of my best friends was in buffalo and he's like do you know sam around she's like oh he's like my best friend he's like

I hate that guy. He brought a gimp sex slave on the segment. I was like, oh yeah, you can't tell these people that we're friends. They, they all hate me. Clearly said he wasn't his gimp. Yeah. It's been more clear. You weren't listening, but yeah. So then we do, uh, we do that. And then, uh,

it's like the thing i look forward to most my comic friends like starburst is always like what are you doing waking up at 7 a.m after a gig and i'm like i've learned to love it yeah it's it's like a challenge yeah i i love it it goes south a lot it will it will sometimes just not work at all but when for the times it does work it's it's it's worth burning a hole in the room yeah yeah definitely are you gonna do that in in uh the netherlands

I wonder if I can get on stuff. International is tougher. I tried to do it in... Because look, when they roll with me sometimes, it's great too. You know, if they just play... There was a woman for Texas who just... She got it and she played along. And it was funny her straight manning me to everything I said. But then we tried in Australia and they didn't really...

they they were too big of fans of it that it didn't work like they were like yeah hearing me on for every awful thing i said like well it's not funny when you guys are like doing you know yeah yeah but yeah they're they're not as scripted as american tv that's all the comments are like oh what is this that you guys do in america i was like oh i didn't know this wasn't a thing oh it's so good in the uk or whatever but yeah australia is more just like all the news yeah you know

Oh, sorry. No, go ahead. Oh, no. I mean, you go on like, I would go on like MSNBC and stuff and it would be like guys who are, you know, big and they don't want you to like, I'd go on like Ari Melber and he would just like, like he would like set me up for a joke and then just like watch it bomb and just like stare at me and be like, so why is that funny? I mean,

I'd be like, well, apparently it's not. I don't think it's, I guess it wasn't. I don't know. And he'd just be like, huh? It's like they don't want, it's weird. Like they want you on and then they kind of like. Try to psychoanalyze your comedy. They don't know how to deal with jokes because it's live. So I think, you know, then I just like went into Epstein jokes and he was like, all right, let's go to break, you know, but. Yeah, because if you're hosting a morning show or if you're hosting a TV show, your job is usually not to be an audience. Exactly. So then all of a sudden he's supposed to just like laugh and be a normal human being.

I would hope so. Yeah. I guess he isn't. Yeah. It's just not programmed for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Sam, thank you so much. Yeah. Everyone go see where I, we're going to probably air this in the next week and a half. Okay. So where are you going after Baltimore? Well, yeah, I got, uh, I'm in new Brunswick, New Jersey working on new jokes at the stress factory. Then I got, uh, Ontario, uh, casino. And then, uh, and then I'm off to Europe all over Europe. So Paris, Amsterdam, London, Belfast, Dublin, uh,

copenhagen i don't know you gotta i got we gotta see you on international tv i don't know if you guys have good listenership in oslo but i'm we do we do my fucking numbers there stink oslo come on oslo let's go and then and then yeah i got the new special uh you've changed on amazon prime it's one of my favorite ones i've done so i hope you guys like it it's perfect because uh all of our fans do have amazon prime because we got to watch football fuck yeah yeah so it's it's a perfect uh marriage there uh all right thanks so much sam appreciate it thank you guys

Sam was brought to you by our great friends at Mountain Dew. Love Mountain Dew. We got a big cooler of Mountain Dew right here. I was drinking some Code Reds earlier today.

I was drinking Code Reds and Baja Blast yesterday. I had an OG Mountain Dew around the campfire at night last night. Mountain Dew is great. It helps us get off our ass. Mountain Dew will get you off your ass. You got bold flavors, a refreshing citrus kick. Mountain Dew will get you off your ass, have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain, a mountain where the weather's always perfect, your friends are ready to hang, and a day of epic proportions on the way.

Firefest is brought to you by Morgan & Morgan.

Welcome back. It's another Firefest of the Week. It's brought to you by our great friends at Morgan & Morgan. You know what really stinks? Sitting next to a guy who's farting the entire time. It literally stinks. It's a stinky thing to do. Stinky thing to experience. You know what else really sucks? Having your boys all go at you because you're trying to give to charity. But, you know, that's the cross that you bear sometimes when you're trying to be a charitable person. But you know what doesn't stink? Calling Morgan & Morgan. They can help get you what you deserve.

They can't help a cranky co-host that tries to drag you down to the depths of oblivion through a sour mood, but they can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when you're injured. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to ForThePeople.com slash PMT or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone.

Okay, Firefest of the Week time. Hank, you have... Breaking news. Oh, breaking news. Breaking news. Breaking news. What do we got? We have a trade. An interdivisional, inter-podcast trade. There's been a trade. Toot toot toot.

A rare in-division trade. Matthew Judon to the Bears? Washington is sending former first-round pick Jahan Dotson and a fifth-round pick to the Eagles in exchange for a 2025 third-round pick and two seventh-round picks per sources. Ooh. Fleeced. What do we think, Max? Fleeced. Agreed. What round did you draft him in? We drafted him in the first round. Oh. And what did you get back? Not a lot last year.

What did you get back? He had a bad season last year. Apparently he hasn't looked good in training camp. Who was his quarterback? We got Martavius Bryant. Sam Howell. Okay. Yeah. We got Martavius Bryant now. I'm excited. Wait. Yeah. Martavius Bryant hasn't played in the league in like 10 years. Yeah, but remember when he did that somersault catch? I have a question, though, BFT. Wouldn't you want your rookie quarterback to have more weapons? We got plenty of weapons. Okay. Martavius Bryant. I'm just saying. Did you not hear me say what I said? Martavius Bryant? That would be the only part that would make me nervous.

Are you taking away a wide receiver? I like Jahan Dotson, a Penn State fan who's a beast at Penn State. Good wide receiver three. Give up a third, get back a fifth. You needed a wide receiver three too, right? Big time. Yeah. So wide receiver three for a third round pick. That sounds like a good deal to me.

Well, he was your wide receiver. Was he for you? But we can't. Well, he was fighting for the second spot. No, he was not guaranteed that second spot. It was like a competition. He was, I think, losing that competition. To who? Let's see. Martavius Bryant? Martavius Bryant, possibly. No, it's actually a former Eagle, Zacchaeus. So we got rid of him. Yeah. And he was our fourth last year. Yeah. And now we got him and he's thriving in our system. Yep.

Fleeced. Fleeced. Somebody got fleeced. Yep. Someone got fleeced. We'll find out later. We're not going to find out until the end of the season who got fleeced. But I can tell that this was a – between this and the Cooper to Gene trade, like we're – Someone's going to get fleeced. We're fleecing the Eagles big time. You're a bunch of bald eagles over there. Got fleeced so hard. That's good. Thank you. It smells so bad in here. Hank, your Fire Fest. Hmm. Yeah.

I hadn't thought about that. No, I mean, I have a few. It's been remedied, so I don't know that it really counts. It was over the weekend. Also, I've been just sleeping in like a hard shell taco this week. It's been fun, but it's camp. You can't really complain about camp. That's just kind of what you get. A hard shell taco. I mean, my bed is literally concave. No, his bed is broken. His bed is broken. The first night. There was other beds in our bunk. That's true. You could have just slept on a different bed.

Or you could have swapped the beds. But the first day it comes up to me and he's like, is your bed like inverted like this? And I went and I looked at it and it literally looked like the trampoline yesterday. Like the middle of it was just sinking to the floor. You sleeping in a taco? I think there were three other mattresses that weren't being used.

I don't think it was the mattress. I think it was the, the frame, the frame. Yeah. You've had trouble. It was ultimately like, I'll fix it tomorrow. Then by the time it's bedtime, I was like, yeah, I'll just sleep on it. So it's really my own fault. Uh, I also sleep on a bed that had fucked up slats for like nine months. Yeah. For like three months. I actually found that picture today. It wasn't even the slats. It was the construction of the bed. That's neither here nor there. Who made the bed? Me. Uh,

I was basically sleeping like downwards. Like I was doing like – I was like declined sleeping with blood just rushing to my head every night. I also had an issue with my stove over the weekend that I like – it wasn't working. It had an error message. It gave me a number to call. So I called and they told me I had to mess with my circuit breaker board.

And my circuit breaker board wasn't labeled. So the lady was just having me turn things on, turn things off. I finally fixed the stove, accidentally killed all the power in my bedroom hallway and like the AC. So I didn't have, and then no one was working my building till Monday. So I had to sleep like in my living room on the couch with a fan, like at my face for Jesus Hank.

That's brutal. Yeah, we fixed it. So you've been sleeping either in a hot room with a fan or in a taco. Yeah.

So I'm excited to get back tonight and sleep normally for once. Get that AC bus. Yeah. Yeah. All right, PFT? My Fire Fest of the week is... I mean, it's been a fun week. I don't have a lot to complain about because going to summer camp, it's fun. And getting to hang out with boys and basically just play sports all day, competitive games all day. Yep. Has been a great time. The first night we got here, we got in a little bit late, and it was myself...

It was actually all of PMT and then the Boston guys came in with us. So we get to our bunks, we set up, I believe, Hank, were you passing out mouth tape or was Big Cat passing out mouth tape? - Not me. - Will Compton. - Will Compton. - I was too. - I saw him mouth tape. - Yeah, so everybody, I did not use mouth tape. I'm afraid, like I'm asleep, I sneeze, I don't know what that's gonna be like. I don't wanna tape my mouth before I go to sleep. But everybody had it, we're going to bed.

And we're all sending pictures in the group chat to each other of us with mouth tape on fast forward a couple days. We're watching hard knocks. And there was one TV that was set up. We're seated in this very, very dark room. All the lights were out just the TV was on. And it was a lot of people from Barstool and a lot of people that are counselors here at the camp that are watching hard knocks with us.

And during that hard knocks, I was posting a picture that I just taken of the TV with Caleb Williams on it with us interviewing Caleb to promote the show being like, tomorrow's part of my take. And I'm taking out my phone, I'm going through my photos to select those pictures.

And there's some other photos that are in my phone that are saved right next to it. The guy, one of the counselors, looks over my shoulder at my phone as I'm selecting the pictures of Caleb from Hard Knocks, and he's staring at my phone, and then he's looking at me. I'm like, oh shit, he saw something else. So when we're passing it, when we're sending all these pictures from the mouth tape incident on Monday night to each other,

I respond to the group chat with a picture of my balls and I said naked balls naked balls and I said oh shit guys I think I just got bit by a bug mm-hmm classic bit with the boys but the counselor that was sitting next to me just saw like three pictures of your balls I had to get the lighting right he saw three pictures of my balls on my phone and he just thinks that I've got nudes for days and

saved on my phone of your balls of my balls never look at another man's phone and he gave he gave me quite a look it was partially confused and

I was just sending my balls to the boys. He didn't touch my leg or anything afterwards, but I don't know. I don't know, but it was a little bit embarrassing for me. So I guess that's the worst thing that happened to me this week. That's not that bad. Some guy just thinks that I have a lot of pictures of my balls on my phone. He doesn't realize you sent it to your boys. It was to send to other men. It's not like I'm gay or anything. Yeah, it was a very funny picture. Okay, I'm going to cede my fire because I've had a great time this week. I've had nothing bad happen.

Knock on wood. We were on hard knocks. We've been at summer camp. Can't complain. Living the dream. Got a blessed life. I'll see my fire fest to my good friend, Max. Max, have you, do you have a fire fest this week? Yeah, I got a little bit of like a call from, from the camp, I think. Yeah.

What about when you were competing in any of the events? Did you take anything too seriously and then have your team win so you were the guy who shoved the ref in a win? No, I actually, yeah. What happened? Big Cat was saying it all week that we, like, don't get, think about it. Like, if you get too competitive, you're going to regret it. You're going to regret it. I had the most instant regret I think I've ever had in my time here at Barstool.

There's a line when we do these events or these activities where I get competitive. Everyone should be competitive. But if you take it too far, you then come across as the guy who's just being a hard-o. I smashed that line. Like, absolutely smashed it. And it was one of those things where I smashed it so hard. And then I took, like, 30 seconds. And it was like, holy shit, what did I just do? So explain it to the people. Okay, this is what happened. We're...

It was the final event. It was the championship of the week, some may say.

There was some tactics to get in my head. There were some tactics to get in the referee's head. I think the person who was doing those tactics did a good job of getting in both parties' heads. He's referring to me in this situation. I somehow got into both of their heads with one sentence. Yep, yep. It's very true. I thought the referee was taking the words from Big Cat and

And purposely trying to screw me over. I think the worst part was the throw. Max took an egg and basically recreated the Billy football, wiffle ball throw. And then shoved Rico. When he just spiked the ball into the ground. Max, what were you so upset about?

He thought he got a bad. So what happened was the final event. Rico wasn't throwing him good enough eggs. Rico had to throw eggs to Max. And as the event was about to start, I said to Rico, because I was on the other team, I said, Rico, remember all the things we talked about this morning. And then I was basically the uncle from The Godfather 2 showing up to the courtroom just being like, hey, I'm here. And Max was like, well, Rico, don't you take your integrity seriously.

as a ref very seriously. And I just yelled, he takes his career even more serious. And then it was just on the two of them were locked in mental warfare that I had started. And, uh, Max pushed Rico, yelled at him through an egg at him, the egg. And they ended up winning.

Yeah. So, Max, basically it boils down to the fact that Rico was throwing eggs too high into the air. Play the clip. And so they're far. And so then you shove them. Which is the sound of the clip, of the end of the clip. Max. Oh, don't take off the headphones, Max. That's bullshit. Max was putting his fingers in his ears like a toddler at dinner last night when we kept on playing the clip. Look at him right now. He looks like a fire truck's coming. Charge, charge, charge! I mean, that's fucking horseshit, you know! Oh, yeah!

He got so Italian. That's horse shit and you know it. That's fucking horse shit and you know it. It was horse shit. It was horse shit. I'm sorry. I think I've apologized to Rico like 60 times in the past day. And to his credit, he didn't care at all. Of course he didn't. He was like, dude, I didn't mean to throw him that far. I was like, dude, I'm apologizing. I overreacted so much. He was like, I didn't mean to throw him that far. I'm just tired. And I'm like...

Me and Rico are good. Rico is like game, respect, game. I know where you're coming from. I would have done the same thing. Yeah, so I think that was something that I regret very deeply. I've been super anxious about it the past... You're fine, Max. ...24 hours, and it's just... I'm going to have to just... If anyone should apologize, it should be me for getting in both your heads with one simple sentence. I'm not going to apologize, but if anyone should, it would be me. But you're...

That was your... I said that. That was your Magna Carta. It's just like me and Rico, like the two people. Wait, what? That was his what? Magna Carta. Is that not right? Magna Mopus. Magna Mopus. No, I essentially was... I was the Joker just walking by and destroying... Is that Holy Grail though?

Magna Carta Holy Grail. I was throwing a lit match right in between the two of them, and they both just were on fire yelling at each other. Well, he didn't yell to his credit. He just threw eggs crazy. Yeah. The eggs were thrown high into the air. It was the distance. Why you got mad. I know. You're mad because Rico threw bad eggs. I know. It's so bad. In a game where they ended up winning. Yeah. All right, Huey, wrap us up.

My fire fest is I haven't taken a shit since I've gotten here. What? And I don't know what's going on. Wait, what? I don't know what's going on. I've eaten every day, three meals, that snacks. Don't know what's going on. Is your body just telling you like this is you're in a bad place right now? We need to consider. Maybe you're operating so efficiently that you're not creating any waste. I've done this as a kid before where we've gone on trips and I just I'll pee fine. Everything else works.

What the fuck? For like four days. Oh, I forgot to say too, one of the craziest things that came out of camp was, I don't know if you saw this, BFT, but I think it happened multiple times. If you walked by on the basketball court, it was just memes and Shane playing two-on-one versus Huey. And it was insane to watch. It got up to four-on-one. It was just... They were just...

Like, bullying him. Like, he would never touch the ball because it was two on one.

The editors look like they are Harlem Globetrotters out there. I mean, it was incredible. He was just floundering around trying to – and, like, I walked by actually before last night when Mames literally was like, Hugh, are you ready for some two-on-one? Like, they're still doing this? Yeah, it's his own sport. It was so funny. It's like a time game. How quickly can you get to 11 points against Hugh? I won one of the games. What? And I was within one shot on three of them. What? How? How?

I could shoot. Oh. Every time I would shoot, I'd yell, Caitlin. Caitlin? Yeah. He goes, I'm her. All right, so Huey, you got to shit, man. Yeah. Before you get on this bus. I ate some fruit this morning. Seemed to have done more damage than anything I've eaten so far. So have you shit? No, not yet, but I've- Have you had coffee? No, I'm not a coffee guy. Drink some coffee. That would probably be new to my system.

Yeah, if you drink a cup of coffee and you've never drank coffee, it's going to run through you like it's going through a goose. I'm also a little scared of these bathrooms, and I don't know if that's just... They're fine. Yeah, they're okay. Now, I understand what Huey... I think your body is just anxious. I think since you know that you're away from home base... There's a comfortability. Yeah, there's comfortability. Your body knows to shut it down until you get back into a situation where you're comfortable pooping. Yeah, something's up, but we're going to be all right. Huey, you want to finish this cup of coffee? Yeah.

It's just a little bit of coffee. Sure. Sure. I'll give it a shot. Okay. We got to have you shitting, Huey. Yeah, we do. It's part of your job description. Yeah, we do. Give him a sticker when he's done. Okay. Next week, football week. Fully. Fully. I know there's four games Saturday, which we'll talk about on Monday, but full football week. We're going to prep everyone for week one of college football. We got some great guests lined up.

So let's kick it to ourselves back in studio with numbers. Love you guys. Okay, let's wrap up the week. Let's do some numbers. 56. 8. 20. Go 97 pug. Juan. 21. What was that? Juan. Juan? Juan? Juan. I'm sorry. What is that?

I think it's 86. 86. You thought it was 56? No, I thought it was 98. Yeah, I forgot he did 97. Max, Mad Men mean, I don't think about you, okay? I mean, you literally only pick my two numbers.

No, they're my two numbers. Whoa, they're my two numbers. And you start off every single one of these asking if I've ever gotten it. Have you ever gotten the lottery ball? I've gotten the numbers. Have you ever gotten either? I've never gotten the lottery ball, no. Not on this machine. The lottery ball is all that matters, and you know that. You know that. I got the number. Love you guys. Talking away, I'm just saying that today is not the day to find you. Shining away, but coming for your love of the king.

Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take my heart Take

I'll be coming for you anyway. Take a take. I'll be going deep. I'll be going deep.