NFL Preview With Dan Orlovsky, CFB Week 1 Recap + The Mt Rushmore Duel Between PFT And Hank
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Oh, and by the way, we also have a Mount Rushmore duel to decide the Mount Rushmore season. After Orlovsky, we have Hank and PFT going up in three head-to-head Mount Rushmores that we then had the AWLs vote blind polls. So we don't know the results. We're going to reveal it at the end of the show.

There's a lot of tension in this room. It's a great episode back from a long weekend, and we're brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. NFL Week 1 is here, and a new season means new ways to get in on the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. Fans have spoken. We want to bet on touchdowns. DraftKings heard us and is delivering. DraftKings Sportsbook is the number one place to bet touchdowns. Ready to place your first bet? Try betting on something simple as, like, picking a player to score a touchdown or

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Okay, let's go. Yeah.

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And Brian Kelly is on the hot seat. Oh, my God. It's a yearly tradition. He hates week one. Brian Kelly has lost three straight week ones at LSU. He's got to start playing in week zero. He's got to volunteer the Tigers like, hey, we'll go to Hawaii. The standalone games have not been nice to Brian Kelly. He's trying to find the guy who did this. He's the hot dog meme basically saying afterwards, this is the first time since I've been here at LSU that I'm angry at my football team. Mm-hmm.

that's a football team you put together, buddy. That's the football team you coach. That's his football team. That is your football team. Maybe he was angry before, but it wasn't his football team yet. So like year one, they lose that opening game, Florida State, right? Yep. With the weird shit that happened at the end with the extra point. Maybe he was mad, but it was at Coach O's football team that he happened to be coaching at the time.

But Brian Kelly, his face was turning redder by the second on the sideline. He looked like Tom Coughlin in that game, but it was indoors in Las Vegas, not in zero-degree weather in Green Bay. Yeah, it's a tradition unlike any other. Brian Kelly getting upset week one of the college football season. I would say we can go winners and losers the whole football weekend, but I think the number one winner, by far and away, not even close...

is the Notre Dame fighting Irish because they got to watch their team win on Saturday night in a game that Brian Kelly would have probably lost. I said afterwards, Brian Kelly actually cost the SEC two wins this weekend because LSU, who he coaches now, and the fact that he left Notre Dame, Texas A&M would have beaten him if he was still at Notre Dame because he doesn't win big games. But Notre Dame won a game that was the biggest win of the weekend. Probably, if you look at their schedule, they

They don't have a ton of tough tests after this. They're in the driver's seat. They might be ranked number one at the end of the season, and then they'll get the fifth spot in the playoffs. Yes, and then they got to watch Brian Kelly, and what was the big three things that Notre Dame fans tried to warn LSU fans? They were like, hey, you can't win the big one. Check. Practice safety. Not practice safety. You can't win the big one. Check.

He likes to blame everyone else but himself. Double check. And he's just kind of a jerk. Now, in his defense...

I know I guess this is an indictment on Brian Kelly. I won't go to his defense. He should have had a word with his players before the game that it's against the rules to act like you're shooting your opponent with a shotgun after you score a touchdown. The kids can't know that. The penalty was so bad. Running on like, you know, he basically looked like he was scarred from last year's defense and being like, we got to just keep USC off the field.

and preventing themselves from winning the game. Yeah, and the targeting at the end was pretty egregious. Well, he said afterwards, he's like, our team feels like we have to be able to get over the hump. There's this vibe that we've won a game when we're up. It's like, dude, you're the coach.

Yeah. That's your vibe. Yeah. It was not a great, great show. It wasn't a bad showing from LSU. They weren't terrible. No, Nussmeier was good. Nussmeier was good. But then Brian Kelly threw Nussmeier under the bus later and said their quarterback played a lot better. And Miller Moss is very good. No, he was incredible. I told you, 35-1. I think he did. Down to 22. I think he did play better than Nussmeier. But their quarterback wasn't the reason why they lost the game. No. No.

They lost the game because they had penalty after penalty. And at the end of the game, they kind of were playing scared because Brian Kelly can't win the big one. I think he's like 4-13 against top 10 teams. Yeah, against top 10 teams. He hasn't beaten a ranked opponent in a long time, right? He beat...

Clemson in 2022, I want to say – or no, he was already at LSU. He beat Clemson in the DJU game, which we can now say. Yeah, Clemson was four, but it was the backup. It wasn't Trevor Lawrence. Yeah. I feel bad for – I love LSU fans. I love LSU. Every time we've gone there – this is basically a repeat from last year, by the way, word for word. Every time we've gone there, they've been the best people, the most hospitable people, just so much fun.

They deserve better than Brian Kelly. The guy's a shithead. Yeah, with Brian Kelly, if you're an LSU fan, you're like, well, he better win. We'll love him if he wins. But with him, he gets no grace period if he loses. No. They're like, well, you can't be an asshole and lose. Yeah. You can be an asshole and win. We loved Nick Saban when he was here. We're okay with that. But you can't combine the two because especially as a complete fish out of water in the SEC, they'll be like, he's not supposed to be SEC. He ain't supposed to be SEC, Paul.

No, he's the guy who, his name's escaping me. I think that's going to be, I'm going to stand on that take. Jerry DiNardo. He's Jerry DiNardo. That's my official take on Brian Kelly. You can put this on a quote card. He ain't supposed to be SEC. No. LSU did it with Jerry DiNardo, who was, I think he's a New Yorker, and hired him, and it was like, dude, what are you doing here? You don't know our culture. They need to bring Nick Saban out of retirement.

Imagine that. Yeah, I think he'd do it. That would be fucking sick. I think Nick Saban, he probably really enjoyed not having to work on Saturday in the fall for the first time in a long time. He enjoys, like, there was one moment... Well, he did work. Yeah, he kind of, but not like, you know, not coaching a football team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was on game day, and he seemed like a little bit more relaxed. He talked about how, you know, he does miss it a little bit already, but...

You can see that the pressure of the NIL era was not – he just hates that. He's like, I don't want to deal with the salary cap. And he would have dominated because he's Nick Saban. By the way, I should have paused this for a second. Hank, are you okay with us talking about college football right now? Yeah, of course. Are you sure? Yes. Because I know that you hate college football and you don't want to be bothered by it. That's not true. That's not true. I like college football. What's your favorite part? Hitting on Kent State Pittsburgh on Saturday morning.

Well, yeah, people get mad. People got mad at me for saying I was doing anything but watching college football Saturday. And I just said, I'm not locking in my entire 12 hours of the day on Saturday, the only day we're not in the office, to watch a random-ass week one game when there's only like three good ones. You didn't have to watch Kent State and Pittsburgh. I actually did. There was a punt return in the second quarter that I tweeted at you. It was awesome. It was sick.

There are lots of good games. Yeah. I actually have no problem with your take Hank because people should just do whatever makes them happy. And that's really the end of it. Like if you, if it may, I am happy. My happiness comes from watching 12 hours of football and watching Kent state Pittsburgh. Your happiness is from golfing. You should do what makes you happy. And we do 12 hours of football on Sunday. Yeah. But that's the beauty of it. You do 12 hours Saturday and Sunday. What?

I'm like a 20 hours total. What if somebody had that take, though? Like, oh, I'm not allowed to do anything else on Sunday. You have to gear your entire Sunday around watching the Panthers and the Patriots. People do that. College football fans do that. Yeah. I have no problem with it. You got no problem with them, but they have a problem with you. I have no problem with them. You had college football fans at your neck. At my neck. I didn't even think it was that controversial of a take, but a lot of people said thank you. It sounds like you were triggered a little bit, though.

Because you would have tweeted that out if you weren't triggered by something. I mean, any response, I wouldn't say I was triggered. It didn't upset me. I literally sent the tweet and then went about my day. It all started because he said he was going to think about wearing a bucket hat on the golf course. And then someone was like, dude, how could you miss college football week one? Yeah. And he was like, what am I going to watch? Kent State, Pittsburgh? Yeah. Did you at least watch your Washington Huskies beat Weber State? I checked the score. Weber State? Yeah. Yeah.

That was late night. It was a late night. It was late night. That's what you got to get used to. How many points did they give up? Three. Yeah. That's a Belichick defense. All right. So are we okay to keep talking about college football? Of course, please. Okay. All right. So yeah, Brian Kelly was the biggest loser and Notre Dame fans are the biggest winner because Notre Dame is,

basically going to the playoff. I'm fine with saying right now they're in the playoff. Yeah, we can pencil them in. Yeah, that was actually... They don't really play anyone. That was... And Marcus Freeman did take a shot at me in his post-game press conference talking about analytics. It was the next day saying we need to have a further conversation. I don't think the conversation we had popped up, the gopher 2 down 14, but I will say Marcus Freeman...

Notre Dame fans have to be so happy that Brian Kelly left. Even though it was weird when he left, he just basically turned his back on the whole team. Marcus Freeman's a dude. I watched that video of him bringing the team out from the tunnel. That's a guy you want to go to war with. And he's just... That's a game that Brian Kelly doesn't win that Marcus Freeman did. And Notre Dame played... They pushed the envelope. They went for some fourth downs. And Notre Dame is...

Yeah, they're in the driver's seat. It's a hard stadium to win in, too, especially week one. That's your first game of the season. You go to Kyle Field. You got the yell leaders being all weird. They probably had a hell of a pep rally the night before where they said all the really strange cult-like activity stuff that they do. And I was told Conor Wegman was good, and he was not.

I'll give him he's just a kid but he looks like shit I keep thinking about do breaking moves yeah biting your fingernails we'll see Hank and I have an arrangement right now actually all of us do which is we're not looking at our phones to see what the polls are for Mount Rushmore season Hank was so affected by the season I don't know what to do not having a phone in my hand I guess I'll read a book yeah he was reading a book stuff they don't want you to know what don't they want you to know

MKUltra, Political Assassinations. Wow. Lots of stuff. A lot of stuff. A lot of stuff. Okay. Other college football. So we're free to continue. Please. I like watching the college football kickoff now.

It's like a little treat. Oh, the actual kickoff. I was like, oh, it's an old kickoff. I remember this. Old school. And college football is smart. But the one thing I don't like is the two-minute warning, which is not a two-minute warning in college football. They call it a two-minute timeout. And then in the booth, they're like, yeah, we're not supposed to call this a two-minute warning. We have to call it a two-minute timeout. Guess what? Everyone's calling it a two-minute warning. That's what it is. I do have a college football observation. Oh, give it to us.

Wisconsin's QB is way too old to be playing. Tyler Van Dyke? Yeah. Well, what about Miami's... He's just not good. Who, Tyler Van Dyke? Yeah. So you did watch college football. Yeah. You just happened to watch that game? Yeah. Max is a real sicko rooting against Wisconsin. I never said that. I texted him because I knew PFT was at Pop Punk. I knew Max was watching. Yeah, he's... What do you mean he's too old? There's so many old quarterbacks. Yeah, but he's just old enough where he's clearly not...

Good enough he's just like holding on and costing Wisconsin. Oh, damn. Do you know that we don't usually get good quarterbacks? I don't think he's good. Okay. But we don't get quarterbacks. What about Graham Ertz? Didn't go well in Florida. No, he did not. You disagree? I was watching that game and I was like, this guy is bad. And then they were like, he's like 27 years old. The fake field goal was sick. The fake field goal was sick. He's 23 years old. So I don't really know why...

That one. I got my eye on him. There was a tight end on Miami who's in his ninth year of playing. Yeah, that's too much, too. Dylan Gabriel's on Oregon. He's 23 years old, but it's just my guy. I haven't watched any Oregon yet. I'll let you know. I think Hank's saying. How did you only watch one game? I watched Colorado, too. I watched Colorado, too. Hank doesn't like watching an old quarterback who's bad. Yeah.

It was a bad game. Memes has got something to say. Yeah, Memes. How old's Washington's quarterback? Oh. Good question, Memes. Cam Rising is like 25. I have no problem. I'm just meaning he's not good. How old is what? I don't know.

Worry about your own team, buddy. Sorry, I won't. No more college observations from me. Well, you only came with one that my team stinks. I know we're transitioning. It's not great. I didn't know that. I wish we weren't doing the air raid. I was actually texting my friends during the game. I was like, dude, old Wisconsin football, we just won this game 27-7, and it would have been so boring, and I would have been so happy. Instead, we're trying to do this air raid, and it doesn't work.

It's the truth. Just run the ball up the middle, and the game takes like two hours and 30 minutes. We win 27-7. We throw nine passes, and that's in and out. Mames, how old is Washington's? 23, Will Rogers. Oh, yeah. Will Rogers from? The U. Mississippi State.

He's been around the block. There was a tight end on Miami who scored a touchdown in the swamp who was in his ninth year of college football. I think Hank's whole gripe with this is that it's depressing watching an old quarterback who's also bad. Yeah. Which is true. Well, Will Rogers isn't great. 35-3. Okay. FCS? Do you know what that is? Scoreboard. Hank, just tell him scoreboard. Do you know what FCS is? 1-double-A. Okay. Okay.

I don't like this new college football, Hank. You only watched one fucking game and it was my game. We're going through things. Listen, we're going to beat South Dakota State and then we're going to lose by 30 to Bama. All right. I'm telling you right now that's what's going to happen. I've made my terms with it. Any other thoughts from that game? Feels very directed that you just, we're working on some things.

Colorado Travis Hunter stud. Yeah, there it is. That touchdown catch that he had. Travis Hunter is unbelievable. I don't know how he caught that ball in the corner of the end zone where he reached across the other guy at the last second and dragged it in. He's going to be the number one pick, obviously. Probably not. Really? Probably quarterback. Quarterback. I might have to bet Tyler Van Dyke to win the Heisman now that Hank's doing this. You can get some pretty juicy odds on that. Yeah, I don't even know if they have him on the board.

Probably a billion to one. If you do that, yeah, a 1-800-GAMBLER number should pop. It should hack your phone. You're going to be like, are you sure you meant to do this? For your own good, sir. All right, other notes. You have to have like a nuclear submarine. You have to have two people that share the same bank account turn the key on that one. Hank, let me give you a quick...

30-second explanation of what's going on right now. I'm having a crisis, okay? Because I believe in Luke Fickle, and I think he's a very good coach. They decided to do an air raid offense. It doesn't really make sense for Wisconsin when all we should do is run the ball down your throat and beat –

everyone on our level and then lose to Ohio State and Penn State. I was happy with that. That was a good life. Going like 9-3 and 10-2 and playing boring football but just fullback, fucking down your dick, you're not going to be able to stop it. It was a good life. Now I don't have a good life because now we try to throw the ball and we don't throw the ball well and we're going to win like six or seven games and I don't have a good life anymore. Yeah, you're at the mercy of...

What's his name? Van Geichel? Van Geichel. I don't know. You think about Van Geichel. You're just so. Yeah. You're just offended. You were offended by my quarterback.

Yeah, I was like, this guy is horrible. Where did he come from? You know he's like a seventh-year transfer. He's not a seventh-year transfer. He's not a seventh-year transfer. All right, other losers this weekend. Billy Napier. Billy Napier, big time. Sunbelt Billy. He coached at Louisiana, right? Yeah. Ain't cutting it.

He ain't supposed to be SAC either. He is. That's another situation where they got rid of Dan Mullen, who went to some New Year's Six bowl games, and now Billy Napier. I think I saw that he is 7-5 at the Swamp, and if you take FCS teams out, he's 5-5. Yeah, Dick...

Listen, Dan Mullen, yeah, his wife kissed players on the lips. Big deal. He won football games. He's a guy that looks so happy to be on TV. Yeah. He loves being with his big old head. Yeah. Billy Napier had trouble during the game. He had trouble after the game. He couldn't get the top off his water bottle. Yep. Which was a bad look. You should at least have the forearm strength to remove a bottle cap. Hank's doing it right now.

And he's got tiny little arms. Yeah. It's that easy, Billy. He does. He's probably on the hot seat. He was on the hot seat before the season started. He's fired. And then we looked at when Andy Staples was on the show, we saw their last, what, seven games? Yeah. He's fired. Billy Napier, unfortunately, has been pre-fired by me.

Florida to do that against a team where you're competing the same recruits that you're trying to get are on the sideline watching that game. Yes. And to just get your shit pushed in by an in-state rival. Conversely, the, you might be back. The U is cam ward is electric. He was electric, uh, last year. Uh, he,

He's awesome in the U. Yeah, it does feel like they're another team where a week one win on the road in the SEC, they now are in the driver's seat where their schedule is not super tough. And Florida State looks like shit. I mean, they're 0-2 now. DJU, that's gotten its bet. Florida and Florida State game, by the way, will be the most depressing game this year. Yeah.

Florida State looks like shit. Virginia Tech, the dark horse in the ACC, lost to Vanderbilt. So NC State struggled on Thursday night. So Miami, maybe their toughest game is Georgia Tech if they play Georgia Tech because Georgia Tech's 2-0. But Miami was another big winner from the weekend. The U might be back. The U, I think, is back. Right now, they're in pole position to win that conference. And credit, by the way, to Bill O'Brien.

Yes. Bill O'Brien, Boston College. Did you see his polo shirt tonight? No. Oh, Big Cat, you got to look up a picture. Oh, did he have sweat stains all over the place? He had sweat stains, but they weren't like the normal sweat stains that are limited to your armpits that usually go down to the chest area. These pit stains went down the side of his arm in the polo shirt to the very end of it. It's hot in Florida. It's very hot down there. It's muggy. He's not a Southeast boy, but it's...

Bill O'Brien called a hell of a game. Yeah. And Florida State is a complete disaster. They've looked so bad. I mean, they have a bye week next week. Thank God for them and their fans. Did you see also there's a fan online who now has to delete his account. He did delete his account. Yeah, that was going to be my who's back. Oh, 321 Noel said, if Florida State loses to BC this weekend, I'll eat dog shit out of a red solo cup with a spoon and post a video of me doing it. Book it.

He's now gone from this world. Coward. Coward. Deleted his account. You got to follow... Now that... Listen, they're not going to win any more games until this guy eats the dog shit out. That's facts. That's how it works. Yeah. So Billy Napier was a big loser. Florida State in general was a big loser. And then Dabo. Poor Dabo. Uh...

Said before the game, it's not about the scoreboard. It's how hard you play. And then after the game, after they got absolutely crushed by Georgia, who looks like, you know, they look like back-to-peak Georgia, where it's like now that Saban's not there, their only loss was ever to Nick Saban.

There's a rollover people Davos said after the game, one of the positives from the game was that the Tigers matched up well with the Bulldogs in terms of pure talent. The scoreboard doesn't show that, but we matched up well. Some details really cost us. I'll give you one detail.

Yeah. Or the scoreboard. Scoreboard is a detail. Yeah. That's a minor detail. That's a pretty big... When you score six points. Yeah. But Clemson was a great team. They were a great team in college football. Yes. And then they just became a not so great team. It felt like overnight, but the overnight was just when Trevor Lawrence went to the NFL. Yeah. And since then, they haven't been able to find out who's throwing the ball for them. So they're going to stink for a while. Yeah. Deshaun Watson and Trevor Lawrence were all world out of this...

World quarterbacks And they haven't been able To replicate that They haven't gotten anyone That's nearly as good As in back there Did you also see Roddy White Yep Said that he's like Clemson has too many White guys out there And then people got mad at him But I think When he was talking about Was there was a Possession where it was like 10 out of 11 guys Yeah On the field That is too many white guys That's too many white guys You can't have that many White guys out on the field And play against Georgia Yeah Georgia No

You cannot. I mean, listen, I'm all for equality. I think it's a meritocracy on the football field. You can't have 10 out of 11 guys. It's a lot of white guys. We're...

We won't be able to beat Georgia. A lot of white guys. But yeah, Dabo, he's going through it. That reminds me of that quote from the Air Force coach back in like 2002 where they asked him what he needed to do better. He's like, we need to recruit more black players because they run very, very well. That was his answer after the game. There you go, buddy. Yeah. Yeah.

Penn State was a big winner. Penn State looks awesome. Is Drew Allard good? Drew Allard looked sick. He looked like the guy that everyone thought he was going to be last year. Well, if you listen to our preview with Brandon Walker and Tom Fornelli, they correctly pointed out that Penn State's new offensive coordinator will make up a lot of ground for them, and it did look like that. They were running some plays that had guys running wide open.

Yeah, Trey Wallace was great. It was fun to watch. It was not an offense that you were watching last year with Penn State. Yeah, yeah. Big win for Penn State. Winner, Tennessee. Winner, Tennessee. Nico is legit. Nico is as advertised by Tom Frenel and Brandon Walker. Yes, Nico is awesome. Winner...

The Idaho head coach, Coach Eck. I loved him. He just basically, he had a, so Idaho was, I think they were down seven in the fourth quarter to Oregon. He had an entire binder of plays. Like he would just have, he had a guy hand him a binder and it was, there had to be like 3000 pages in there.

And he just kept on having these trick plays that would work. And it was so much fun to watch because it just doesn't have, it was kind of like watching a 16 seed versus one. And you're like, this is just, this is insane. How are they still in this game? Yeah, I didn't, I wasn't able to catch any of that game, but I, every time I looked at the scoreboard, I was like, is Oregon in trouble? Yeah. Is Oregon going to lose this game?

And I went back, I watched some of those plays, and they were just absolutely emptying the tank against them. It was like they knew they couldn't line up and beat them playing normal football, but they're like, we're going to try to just smoke and mirrors our way to a win. And it would have been an all-time smoke and mirrors win. Yeah, it was incredible. I'm trying to think any other winners or losers.

I mean, the big losers was really just Brian Kelly, Billy Napier. Dabo. Dabo. Dabo. Poor Dabo. Those three. I said there should be some sort of football guy preacher that should get in touch with Dabo Swinney and tell him, like, you know who used the transfer portal? Jesus Christ. Yes. When he went into that tomb. So you can get in there for three days a year, Dabo. Well, three days a year is good enough. And you can just get in, get out, and just transform into a new team. I feel like he's also at this point where he –

He really should take a hard look and just be like, should I just retire? Because if he...

If he walked away after this year, he would be a Clemson legend. And it would never be like it got bad. But if you stay on too long and it keeps going like this... And again, Clemson still is winning. They won 10 games last year, I think. So it's not that they aren't still a good football team. It's just remarkable how far they've fallen off from the superpowers that they were in five years ago. They need a good quarterback. Yeah. If they got a good quarterback...

and maybe didn't have 10 out of 11 white players on the field at one time, which is kind of weird that Roddy's last name is white. It's true. So he gets a pass. Yeah, so he gets a pass on that. He's allowed to use that word, the W word. But if you just take that roster and you put a good quarterback on it, like a very good college quarterback, then Clemson would be fine.

Yeah. They might not beat Georgia, but they'd be fine. No. Georgia's... Those first games when you have to play like a Georgia or LSU just... LSU should just not play week one anymore. They're tough. Yeah. Because it's like...

Clemson could still win the ACC, could still go to the playoff. There's a 0% chance Clemson is winning the national title this year. No. Because you saw what it looks like when it's the best teams versus, like, there's a few teams that have that level of talent, and it was just Clemson was never –

It was never like they were never in that game. I know that it was a tie. It was a six, six and a half, but it still was just not. You just saw the line of scrimmage. You're like, this is going to end quickly. Like they're going to as soon as as soon as the dam breaks, there's just nothing they can do about it. What's the spread for Tennessee NC State?

I think probably like seven. I think 10. Yeah. Cause it's on the road, but NC state didn't look great. No. And Nico looks so good that I feel like, I feel like Tennessee is going to compete in the sec. Yeah. I feel like there'll be right there. No, absolutely. Also shout out the big 10 went 17 and one. No big deal. Yeah. USC 17 and one and Washington. Yeah. The only loss was Minnesota to North Carolina. Yeah. When PJ Fleck pretended he had Justin Tucker, what were you gonna say? No, no, it was close. Yeah, it was close. They lost by two. Um,

I watched that one. Oh, you did? Yeah. What did you think? UNC's kicker is fucking... Insane. Has a bomb. Crazy. And then P.J. Fleck was just deciding that... I don't know why he thought his kicker, after he had missed like a 30-yarder, he's like, no, we're good with a 47-yarder here, and was never close. But yeah, Big Ten, 17-1. It's just weird seeing 17-1. Yeah, that's a lot. So many fucking... So there's 18... What? What?

The Big 18. Yeah. I mean, we haven't had 10 teams in forever. I know. And we've been the Big 10. I know. So I like the way he's keeping it. We get the Pac-12 when it's a two-pack. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Any other college football thoughts? Anything else? Hank, you want to just keep twisting the knife? Say something about the Big 12, Hank. Everyone's team won. Yeah. That's what he was going to say. Quinn Ewers. It was on Sunday Conversation. I watched that. Oh, Hank. Hank. Not the Big 12. My friend Texas. Oh, fuck. Shit. Shit.

I need some analysis from you about the Big 12 before we continue. I got nothing. Oklahoma. Oh, no. Oh, no. Name five Big 12 teams. Let's go. Kansas State. Yes. Oklahoma State. Yes. Get hot, Hank. Get hot. Get hot. Kansas State. Oklahoma State. Kansas. Yes. Yes. You've taken all the Kansas. You got no Kansas left.

Kansas State. No, no. We're not in Kansas anymore, Hank. This is making me feel better about his analysis of Wisconsin. Okay, yeah. This guy doesn't watch college ball. Texas Tech. Yes. That's four, right? Yeah, I said five. You watch one of the games. Colorado. Yeah. Bang. Wow. Any more? Any others? Slip one in. Nope. He talked about one of the other games. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. Nope. Nothing. Oh, Iowa has an offense. Iowa State. Iowa State. There you go. Yeah, Iowa's offense, it didn't show up until the second half, but it did show up. The first half was very funny. Started exactly how an Iowa game always does. Yeah. It's like punt, punt, fumble, interception, missed field goal, punt, field goal. And then they're like, we figured it out. Yeah. The iPads. The iPads came in handy for them at halftime. Yeah. Arizona on the Big 12? Yes. Hank, good job. Recently Big 12 team.

Good job. Arizona State? Yeah. There we go. We're cooking now. You just got to find the pairs and just hammer it. Yeah, think of Pac-12 rechecks. You got this. That's good for now. Okay. Yeah, I think that's more than enough. That was our Big 12 recap. That was our Big 12 recap by Hank. Name some Big 12 teams. I think you should actually – well, no, because I don't want you to have to study it. But let's – Oh, he won't. Yeah, you probably won't. Maybe tomorrow, can you name all the Big 12 teams? Yeah. Yeah.

We should have done the Mount Rushmore Big 12 team. Just let Hank fly on it. All right, anything else from this weekend before we do Who's Back? No, I'm looking forward to next weekend. Yes. Texas, Michigan. Texas, Michigan. I'll be there. The college football show will be there. You know who the captain's going to be for Michigan? The honorary captain. Who? Derek Jeter. Oh. Michigan legend. Yeah. I did watch the Conner Stallions doc. What'd you think? It was interesting. What'd you think? It was...

I ended up like being like, I love Connor Stallions because he just seems like he is, he's essentially just every fan ever. Who's like, I'll do anything for my team to win. And then he actually did do anything for his team to win. Um,

But yeah, I mean, they definitely cheated. I think everyone cheated, but they definitely did too. And Harbaugh didn't know. They cheated the most. They tried to implicate Harbaugh by having a scene where Connor Stallion showed off the game ball that Harbaugh gave him. But look at this. Look at this. Yeah. See this right here? See this right here?

This is Game Ball presented to Max Delente from Big Dom. Max, have you ever met Big Dom in your life? In spirit. That's my guy. Exactly. I rest my case. How did I get back there, by the way? I rest my case. Harbaugh did not know. Just because you get a Game Ball doesn't mean you know the guy. And also the pictures with them together. But whatever.

And he was on the staff. Yeah. Don't downplay my relationship with Big Don. That was an artful gift. Well, you haven't met him. You have not met him. I'm defending our guy Harbaugh. There was a great story in the Connor Stallions doc where Connor Stallions, like, after everything he went through, he went to the Ohio State-Michigan game. And he said that after when everyone was on the field, he was on the field, he was wearing a ski mask, and he went up to Michael Barrett, one of their linebackers, and he was just like –

He had his full ski mask on and he was just like, great game, Mike B. And Michael Barrett was like, are you fucking kidding me? Is that him? And he pulled down his ski mask for a second and Michael Barrett went crazy. How did he get down there? I don't know. But he was like, he became everything that he was. The internet was pretending like he's everywhere. Yeah. It kind of felt like at the end of the season, he's like, yeah, you know what? I'm just going to be everywhere. Oh, Cotter Stallion is like, okay, say what you want about cheating and all that stuff.

But the man had a plan, he had a course of action, and he followed through on it, and he worked very hard at his goal. Yeah. And he accomplished his goal. He showed a little bit of his manifesto, but he said he's still saving it for when he's going to be Michigan's coach. Because he's going to reuse it. Yeah. Well, he used some of it, but no one's ever seen a lot of the things that he's done.

Do you think Harbaugh was having secret meetings with Conor Stallions? Harbaugh didn't know him. Never met him. Never in the same room. He was giving the info to other guys, and then other guys would kick it up and take credit for it like it was their idea. Correct. And then be like, hey, what do you think about this insight, coach? Don't you like this insight? And then he'd pat them on the head and be like, great job, assistant coach. I appreciate that. And they never gave credit to Conor Stallions. I didn't realize, too, that it was great that he started –

his coaching at Navy because he was in the Naval Academy and his first game that he ever was on the sideline was against Ohio State, Navy versus Ohio State. I love that. They were competitive. I love that. He's doing the signals. I'm going to watch that tonight. It's very good. I enjoyed it.

just because it's one of the best college football stories that we'll ever have ever. Yeah. It was so much fun. Living through it was so much fun. It was made for memes. It's an AI. If you think about quantum computing over the next 20 years, if you took whatever AI they have then and then just focused on the craziest message board that you've ever been on, that's essentially what Connor Stallions is. Correct. And he made it all happen. Correct.

Okay, let's do who's back the week. Then we'll get to Dan Orlovsky, talk some NFL. And then we have the Mount Rushmore duel. Who's back the week brought to you by our friends at Game Time.

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Can't wait for the NFL season. Download the GameTime app today and use code PMT to easily score great deals with new GameTime picks. What time is it? GameTime. Go check it out with the GameTime app. Henry. My host back of the week is Scotty Scheffler. Yes. He won golf's biggest event of the year, which is done at the worst time of year when no one cares about golf. Was that the ending?

He won like $26 million from winning just that one tournament. But this weekend was the tournament? It's over. They did it on Labor Day weekend? FedEx Cup, yeah. You remember the trophy? I remember the trophy. Who could forget the trophy, PFT? But...

Why do they do it? I don't know. There's big breaks in between some of the majors. They draw it out for this long and then do it on a weekend that's a holiday weekend when college football is back, and it ends on – it should have ended on Monday, if anything. Do it – and do it the weekend before. Yeah. Like, when will people realize you can't compete with football? No. Like, well, I guess Hank can with golf and bucket hats, but everyone else cannot compete with football. You can't.

Yeah, and just the way it's set up where it's – Scottie Scheffler had a three-stroke lead to start the whole week, and it was like Colin Kornmorkauer had a better score than him over the three days, but because of the early lead, it didn't matter. So what did he win by? I don't know what he won by. Two or three, but he was – He won $25 million, so he's won like $60-something million. It was $62 million, I think I saw. So his caddy has made $6.2 million for being on the man's bag. That's a lot of money for being on a man's bag. That's crazy. Yeah.

That's crazy. Max Homa had a good tweet about it because PGA Tour Communications sent this out on August 29th, which was Friday, right?

I believe. They said, Scottie Scheffler cards a 6-under 65 and holds a 7-stroke lead after the first round of the Tour Championship. Scheffler is the first player to hold a lead of 7 strokes or more after 18 holes of a Tour event on record. And Max Homa said, the Chiefs scored two touchdowns in the first quarter and lead by 30, a new record. Yeah. Yeah. It's a weird format. Yeah. Yeah, he won by 4 strokes. I see what you're saying, too. He, Murakawa played better.

But this weekend. I also think it should somehow come down to match play. Yeah, but Scottie did deserve the lead because he played better. That was his whole thing when he was like, does this really decide the champion if I have to play again for something I've already won, basically? So I get that he should get the lead. Yeah, they should figure that out and play it at a different time. Okay, good. Who's back, Hank? Thanks.

Golf on college football week one. Yeah, great who's back. Now we'll move on to real sports. The air raid offense is back. My who's back of the week is Joey Chestnut. Yes, I'm fine. A real athlete, Joey Chestnut, is back, baby. He ate 83 hot dogs in 10 minutes. 83 hot dogs with no dunking. He could sip the water. He competed against Kobayashi. It was never really a competition after the first two minutes of

He got a lead. He kept the lead. Kobayashi ended up with, what, 66 dogs? Yeah, it was something like that. He just dominated. Which is still a good... That's a large amount of hot dogs. Yeah, it's a good day of dogs. For a man to eat in 10 minutes. Correct. Probably, like, the second best...

that that uh bout by Kobayashi would put him as being like one of the top five yeah of all time yeah and then chestnut just ate 83 hot dogs in his fucking face yeah 83 hot dogs he got a lead he didn't look at the scoreboard didn't slow down kept building the lead and uh it

It was... Goddamn, it was impressive. Now, it didn't have the same pageantry, at least for me, as the 4th of July hot dog eating contest. I like it because it's on the 4th of July. I like it because everyone's waving American flags. I like it because it's outside. So this was in a dome. And just like in the NFL, if you eat indoors, I'm sure that's a little bit easier, staying out of the sun.

I feel a little bit bad for Kobayashi, though. Why? Because imagine eating 66 hot dogs and feeling like you didn't accomplish what you were trying to do. You got a bag. You got a bag. But, yeah. Okay. Money aside, eating 66 hot dogs and losing has got to be an all-time bad feeling. Yeah, I think...

I would normally agree with you if it were, like, on the 4th of July, the guy who... You don't get bags for 4th of July. Yeah, 4th of July, if you're, like, the guy who finishes 3rd and you're in Coney Island or on Coney Island, you had 50 hot dogs, you came 3rd, no one even remembers you, you're standing there hot, sweaty, that...

Kobyashi got a bag. Got a bag. I'm saying money aside, though. It stinks that you ate 66 hot dogs and you're just a loser. Yeah. Yeah, that does stink. But 83, that's so many fucking hot dogs. So many hot dogs. It's unreal. And he'd probably drink after. Where can he go from there?

84 dude what's amazing about Joey is he continues to push himself yeah like normally he's the greatest of all time you would need somebody that would come along and like put away 90 dogs or 100 dogs to prove to him that he could even eat more to even believe that it was possible to eat more but every time he sits down at a dinner plate he's like fuck it I'm gonna I'm gonna there's no iron sharpening iron for Joey Chavez he is the iron yes um okay my who's back of the week is uh we should have talked about this with college football um

Kirk Herbstreet's dog. Yeah. He's back. He was back. He was in the booth. Starting some controversy. Max, what do you think? A close personal friend of mine. Yeah, you did meet him. The dog. I don't know how I want to say what I want to say. I like Ben a lot. I love Ben. Ben's very cute. I do think... This got us in trouble before. Yeah, you know what? I'll pass. I love Ben.

I love that. Max and I got to see ESPN. ESPN bringing, yeah, it's kind of the same thing. ESPN, like, no one. Like, if you had a kid that was like a little baby that you would bring on the set. What if I brought my kids to tape every show? I've heard this before. I'm trying to think where I've heard this before. Who said that? Yeah.

Well, I like Ben a lot. I just wish I want Ben to be as happy as possible. I don't know if he's like sitting under a desk at a football game. Loud noises like that might suck for him. But Herbie's a friend, so I'm not going to say anything bad about that. He's an emotional support pet. Yeah, I'm not going to say anything bad about that. I like that. I don't like that. Herbie has to defend himself online against dog haters. That's sickening.

What did Herbie say? Ben was a controversial figure because he was –

kept on going into shots during little i broadcast so people were like enough already not me it was the most yeah he was he was right there in between reese and himself right and i kind of had to like almost credit over i think credit to reese yeah reese handled that like a pro yeah it was the worst controversy uh involving a booth and a lincoln that i've ever seen yeah

There's a little bit of a stretch, but I like it. Yeah, but I was trying to get there. Yeah. I got in the vicinity of it. Yeah, you got around there. Yeah. I like Ben. I like Ben. I love Ben. I love Ben. I want to see more of Ben. I would too. I would like to see more of Ben. I would. You agree, Hank? Yeah. Yeah. We like Ben.

He's a good boy. Hank saw none of Ben. I think Ben's a very good boy. Yeah, Hank didn't see any. Hank only watched tape on Tyler Van Dyke. That's it. That's it. He watched every second of Wisconsin, nothing else. Should have at least come over and watch it with me. Oh, well, Herb's... Like, fuck it. I didn't know they were on. I was sitting there. Yeah, you had to defend him. Herb, he's got like...

30 tweets about Ben. Yes, I told you. That's why I brought it up because Ben was controversial this weekend. I like the way this tweet starts. Dogs should be playing with other dogs. Yeah. There's a lot of that. Yeah. Like, hey, this dog should not be on a private jet or this dog should not be at a loud stadium. I'm more saying... What if he got a second dog that he brought up into the booth so that Ben would have a friend? Yeah. Now we've got two dogs. I like Ben a lot. I'm happy that Herbie gets to be with Ben.

Is there a place Ben could be during the broadcast that he doesn't have to feel? I feel like Ben probably feels like he's getting in the way. I don't want that for Ben.

Would you guys agree? He was just big-bodied Reese, though. He literally just walked in the middle of the live shot to start the game. It was so funny. Yeah. It was funny seeing his tail. He's a happy dog. I like Ben. I love Ben. I love Ben. I give Ben 13 out of 10. Very good dog. Yeah. This might be worse than the Taylor Swift stuff. I haven't said anything besides I love Ben. Is he really Herb Street's dog? I need to see video evidence of Herbie booping him. I don't know.

I want to see F on in. I love Ben. Ben's a great dog. Great dog. It has nothing to do with Ben the dog. Ben does nothing wrong. He's literally done nothing wrong. I'm just saying, is there a place he can sleep comfortably and not, like, that floor didn't look comfortable for him. He should have a bed. Right. Let's get Ben a bed.

But yeah, I had to mention because when I saw Herbie go, he was like 30 tweets deep. Yeah. Going after the Ben haters. You know you're down bad when you're retweeting Florio. He did? Yeah. What did he say? Florio said, this is awesome. Take your dogs wherever you can, whenever you can. Fact. I agree. I agree. I disagree with that take, but I love Ben. I disagree with that take. There are some places dogs shouldn't be because it's not fun for the dog.

Chocolate factory. Yeah, chocolate factory. Fireworks show. Yeah, agreed with that. There's definitely places where dogs can just be like... They could still be dogs and just be home. Yep. Uh...

Yeah, like a mortar exhibit. At war. Yeah, war. Yeah. Well, one of them got the guy from ISIS. He died like a dog. He did die like a dog. Grape vineyard. Yep, good point. That could fuck a dog up. Raisin packaging plant. Yep. Avocados. Onions. Yep.

Chicken bone. Mm-hmm. Please. Dog fighting ring. Dog fighting ring. Thank you. Michael Vick's backyard. There you go, Hank. Bad news kennels. These are places dogs should not be, so Florio. Around Max. Around Max. No, no. I'm pro-Ben over here. What have I said a hundred times? You've been in some word that I can't think of right now about Ben. What? Insinuating. I have not insinuated anything. I said I like Ben.

I think Max doesn't like Ben. This is bullshit. I love Ben. No, because this is classic projection. I said I love Ben more than you. All we've said on this podcast is how much we like Ben and love Ben, and then you're projecting your own thoughts about Ben when you're saying that we're insinuating something.

I just love Ben. I want more content from Ben. Look, you can't even be happy when he says it. He's basically... You're lying. I can tell you're lying. Yeah, you're lying. You guys are lying. Wait, you want more content from Ben? Yeah. Whoa. I think whatever's going on with Ben right now is perfect. Yeah, you want to push Ben to the limit? He's 10 years old, dude. You're going to make this dog do everything? I want Ben to do whatever Ben wants to do. You want Ben to travel more and fly more? God, you're putting the...

on Ben. Load management. I don't like you guys. Okay, let's get to our interview with Dan Orlofsky. Awesome interview talking about the NFL season and then we're going to do our Mount Rushmore duel after

After that, Dan Orlowski is brought to you by our friends at Coors Light. Big rivalry game coming up. Choose chill with the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Light Mountain Cold Refreshment that can chill even the most heated rivalries. When you're looking to keep it chill, there's only one beer to choose, Coors Light. Mountains in the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. So you know when your Mountain Cold Refreshment is ready for you to choose chill. When things heat up, choose chill and then crack open a Coors Light beer.

Coors Light is the one to choose when rivalries heat up. I'll tell you a big rivalry coming up. It's going to be whenever Wisconsin plays Washington.

I'll circle that. I don't think they play this year. Throughout the record books. We'll have to go to 2025. Hopefully Tyler Van Dyke is going to be 29 years old and slinging it all over Hank's face. So when you're looking to cool things down and enjoy the game, choose chill and reach for Coors Light. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Instacart or GoPuff by going to CoorsLight.com slash take. CoorsLight.com slash take. All right, here he is, Dan Orlovsky.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, our good friend Dan Orlovsky. It is week one week, NFL, and we thought no one better than Dan Orlovsky to give us a little season preview, talk some storylines, maybe some picks. Dan, I want to start here. You're the QB whisperer. Top 10 quarterbacks going into the 2024 NFL season. I know you got this off the dome.

Yeah, yeah. I thought we were going to talk about Tyler Van Dyke and Phil Longo. Oh, no. That's going to be... All right, so let's go Mahomes. In order, I'll try to get into you. Don't hold me to the order that well, but I'll get into you. So Mahomes number 10. Mahomes 10. Mahomes. We'll go Mahomes 1, Allen 2, Burrow 3. Okay. Lamar 4. Okay. Okay.

Five has got to be Stroud. Six, and I'm assuming, you know, obviously Trent Williams and Ayuk are there, would be Purdy. Whoa. Seven would be Stafford. Okay. You have to do that. Legally, you have to do that. Yeah. I'm bound by it. Eight would be

And I'm going to forget somebody that's not going to go over well with some humans. That's why we're doing this, with some humans. Yeah. I'd probably say Jordan Love. Oh, wow. Nine, Tua, 10, Rodgers. Okay, so no Jalen Hurts. No Dak. Yeah, I mean, I would put like the Trevor Lawrence's, Hurts', Dak, Kirk Cousins. Herbert. Yeah.

Herbert, those guys are right in that like kind of next group. It's kind of why this whole offseason I've been saying to mainly ESPN producers, stop asking me for top five and top ten. So thanks for that. Because there's so many good ones. But Hertz is right there, man. But it was like, here's the reality with Jalen because everyone, my wife from Philly, so she gets mad at it. This is third offensive coordinator in three years. Yeah.

most times guys take some time to acclimate to that. So I just kind of want to see exactly what he is and Kellen's offense. So about that, uh, cause we always say that as a cliche, but how difficult is it actually to go from a different offensive coordinator year to year? Like, is it, uh,

okay, this is a tough training camp, OTAs, whatever, but we're ready to go week one? Or is it like, hey, this is two guys speaking a different language that basically have to learn, you know, get fluent on the fly when the regular season starts?

Yeah, totally. It's not necessarily like completely different languages, system to system to system. At times it is. But, you know, I think with the style that they ran in 22 that Jalen ran with Shane Steichen was so unique to them, you know, and the way that they were relatively simple with their formations, but they were like very –

dynamic in the way that they operated the quarterback run stuff and some of his reads and their past games and their RPOs. So like that was very unique to them. That wasn't necessarily like the,

LaFleur Shanahan tree that there's probably a ton of similarities in. And then last year it goes to Brian Johnson, who maybe carried over some terminology, but it wasn't nearly as effective. And also like there were terrible versus blitz and whatnot. So like how different was their terminology, their protections and like the flow of a game? How does he want to start games? How does he handle third downs when we're 0 for 4 to start the game? How does he handle...

the philosophy of we just got a turnover, a takeaway, or we just got a huge play. And so he's gone through like one guy in 22 and another guy in 23 and another guy in 24 now with Kellen. And it's just how,

How is Kellen going to call his stuff? Because Kellen's stuff comes from Scott Linehan, really terminology wise. And he had a little bit of like Joe Lombardi and Jim Bob Cooter. So like there's a ton of different verbiage that Jalen's had to handle now. And like to your point, like now it's like,

Just getting a feel for the type of play calls that are coming into your headset situationally, it's a completely different world in that regard. Yeah. So among these offensive coordinators, which ones have the craziest play calls? Like the longest to remember, longest to say out loud, and which ones have simplified it down to a point where it's just like a couple words? Yeah, the longer ones are the guys that come from the traditional West Coast philosophies. So anybody that usually has an attachment to –

A Kyle, a Mike Shanahan, a Gary Kubiak, a Sean McVay. Those are the wordy ones. I mean, in many ways, that's why Sean – remember years ago when, you know, the whole – it became the thing where Sean was keeping the headset as long as he can and calling the plays into Jared Goff, and they were at the line of scrimmage. Like, in many ways, it was because the play calls are so long, and they were trying to get information from the defensive. Jared, he would just – instead of calling 18 to 20-word plays –

Sean took it and shrunk it down to maybe a one or two word code. They would get to the line of scrimmage. Jared could say, you know,

double to the offense and then, you know, one word to the receivers and another word to the other receivers and another word to the offensive line. And he didn't have to memorize it. You know, Sean was telling him it. He's also kind of telling them what the defenses were. So I think Sean shrunk that down a little bit in those situations, but anybody that's attached to those old school offensive systems, those are the wordy ones. The people that expedited it are usually the ones that,

want to play with tempo. So like Shane Steichen has done that. Like I just said, McVay's done that a little bit. I think most coaches have the ability to do it. It doesn't mean that they do it all the time. But,

But anybody that's, you know, attached to that stuff, man, it's just words on words on words. So a team that kept their offensive coordinator, the Detroit Lions, who got a lot of buzz, your Detroit Lions. I had a question about them, though, because they were incredible year last year, really tough football team, Dan Campbell mold. Are you nervous at all about the Lions losing? I always like to go into the season and think, like, who did they lose? And is that person like an under the radar, impactful guy?

And Josh Reynolds was that guy for me where it's like he went to the Broncos. They now need Jameson Williams to finally take that big step to be that second receiver. Are you worried at all about their offense losing a guy like Josh Reynolds who maybe not be like get all the headlines, but he's one of those guys who will get those big plays and be a dependable receiver when you need a big play in the fourth quarter?

Yeah, it's also different roles and different styles. Like, Josh is a big-bodied guy that was a little bit more of, like, you know, a big part of these play-action-pass-centric offenses, which Ben Johnson, their play call runs, is like they want to work the middle of the field. And more often than not, you want to have –

either a big bodied person and work in the middle field or a person who's like, you've got great toughness, like I'm on raw, you know, and understanding the field. Jameson is a, he's not this big framed dude and he's a little bit more of a burner. So just replacing like the comfort level of, you know, seeing as the quarterback and you're like throwing the ball over the middle field, having a bigger frame person, it just feels more confident throwing, throwing the ball into that traffic window. So, um,

I think there's a lot of confidence in Jamison for me. You know, Jamison's got to become certainly like a little bit more of a complete guy and not just that vertical person.

but i always go back to this like are is their offensive line really awesome yes and if if the offensive line continues to be great it always elevates everybody else you know harbaugh said at this offseason that's the only position that's not dependent on someone else and that's true you know and so i think that when detroit's offensive line um plays to the level that we're kind of accustomed to now like they dominate and so jared plays better and amanra is better and the port is better and so

I don't think there's a regression in Detroit. The only thing that I have a question on in Detroit is the fourth down and going for it last year was such a hot thing. And it felt like every time they went for it, it worked, obviously, but the NFC title game. But, like, are they going to be that aggressive again? Because, like, last year, I don't want to minimize Coach Cam, like Dan, but, like, when you're the hunter, it's a little bit –

I feel like more freeing to go forward in those situations. Now they're the hunted. So you don't want them to tighten up.

So are they going to be as aggressive? And then also, will their success rate on fourth down be as remarkable as it was last year? I think that's more for me than replacing Reynolds type of thing. I think it will be. I don't think that Dan's going to change the way that he calls things there. I think he's going to be just as aggressive. And he's calling plays on third down knowing that he's going to go for it on fourth down too. And second down, that might even have an impact on what he calls on second down. So there are some people at home that are hearing like Josh Reynolds saying,

dependable guy you can go to in the fourth quarter of a big game and he'll get you that catch. And they're like, I don't know if that's necessarily a hundred percent true all the time. But you've had, you've had a, you've had an interesting take on what's going on in Pittsburgh recently. So it was supposed to be a quarterback competition, right? Justin Fields and Russie.

Justin Rossi. I feel like you're firmly in the camp of, I don't know if you're saying this was not a true quarterback competition or if you're saying that Justin Fields should have won the quarterback competition, but it sounds like you're saying that it shouldn't just be taken for granted that Russ should be the starter based on how he played.

Yeah, so I think, one, Russ didn't play as bad last year. People made it sound like Russ was absolutely horrific last year. I kind of thought he played top 12 football or something like that. It was nothing glamorous. He was fine. And just watching this preseason and really only the game that Russ played,

It was a tough watch and I don't get to watch practices or whatnot. It was a tough watch. So, you know, I go back to when they made the move for both guys, it was like, hey, Russ is in the pole position. But if it's a true competition, then on August 7th, I think Coach Tomlin in a press conference said like, no, this is a true competition and the games are going to matter more than practices.

So if you just watch the games and you take away the snapped fumbles for Justin or fumbled snaps, those are going to happen. I don't know if any quarterback was a complete failure in the NFL because he couldn't get a snap. So it's like people, you know, like, oh, my gosh, we can't get snaps. And then the sacks.

The two that happened in week, the preseason third game wasn't weren't on him. And so Russ is going to take sex too. So it's like, if you're Pittsburgh and I think Tomlin's amazing, I'm wearing a shirt. Like, come on. Standard. Love that. Yeah. Standard. This is standard. So like,

Are you with Russ playing fine at 35 or 36 really going to contend against Cincinnati and Baltimore in the division? Really? No. Like, so my thing was, if it really was a little bit of a competition and I, I think that coach Tomlin said it was,

It's are they somewhat similar past game players? Sure. So it's like, why not just say, you know what? The only real chance we have is if we strike lightning at a bottle with Justin and all of a sudden he puts it a little bit more together in the past game, we give him a little bit more confidence. We're a much better team than he's had in Chicago.

And you kind of did what Philadelphia did in 22 with Jalen and quarterback run. That's what, you know, kind of what I envisioned I would do.

But it just seems like they're going to go with a little bit more of what they think is going to be consistency from Russ. I just don't think they're going to get it. Yeah. I mean, Justin Fields in his defense, I saw it after cut day. I think Ryan Poles has maybe five guys or six guys left from the Ryan pace era. So that tells you what he was playing with. Like, and that was only a couple of years ago. So it's like, he was, he was not dealt the best hand when he was here. Um,

This might hurt me, your answer here, but I would like to know, what is the team that is getting a ton of hype that you're not fully bought in on, and then the reverse, a team that no one's really talking about, that you're like, this team is going to be a lot better than people realize? Yeah, I'm not going to say the Bears. I do think the Bears are going to be a really, really good football team. People are saying...

I will say this, like, can they win the division? It's like, holy smokes, guys. Like, let's just let them get off to a decent start in playing really important games and have a shot in December rather than are they going to win the division. So I do think that talk has gotten a little stretchy. I've been known to strut some conversations myself. So a team that's probably getting talked about too much that may not be as good as people are saying it's going to be, like, I will say this.

San Francisco is amazing. I love Kyle. We actually had McCaffrey on for the Madden reveal thing. I asked him. I don't think he was happy with the question, but I was like, all right, dude. Two years ago, NFC Championship game, heartbreak. Last year, Super Bowl, heartbreak. What do you got to do to finally get it done? He was like, score more points than the other team. I just think it's a real thing with

Can they get back and be the NFC champ or in the NFC championship game and try to replicate what's happened over the last two years? As much as I love San Francisco and give, I just don't know if I'm banking on that happening again. Like their offensive line without Trent goes to bottom five in the league. And so like that team, I'm a little bit hesitant on right now just to kind of see what happens with them and the team that people probably aren't talking about enough.

I'm super high in Atlanta, dude. I really am, man. I think they're going to be so good. Like, I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but like the starting quarterback last year got cut.

And, you know, from the Cardinals, like Desmond got cut. So this was the team that was in it last year, essentially. So I think the offensive line is going to be great. Kirk is Kirk. Drake London, I think, is a superstar in the making. I think that defense is going to be so good under Raheem. So I think like that's a team that no question can win their division. And certainly just if Zach Robinson, who's their play caller, comes from the Rams, is like any good,

I think they're going to be really, really, really good. I like that. I have not talked about the Falcons. And Joe, I put a bet on them to win that division. I think I agree with you. But to be clear, when you say Kirk is Kirk. What's Kirk is Kirk? Do you mean that? Is that a good thing? Because now I'm hearing it as a good thing.

Yeah. Oh yeah. I think Kirk is like, so Kirk's going to probably throw for like 4,000 yards, 30 touchdowns, 12 picks. You know, he's going to have a bunch of big time performances. Again, their weapons are really good. So like I'm saying Kirk is Kirk is in a way where like you can kind of bank on the quarterback play that you're going to get from him. And if they get good quarterback play with their young talent,

I just think they're going to be a really, really good, solid football team. Yeah, that's a good one, the Falcons. And I tend to agree with you on the 49ers. It's not that they're not great because they are. It's like a vibes thing, like with how close they've been and then all the guys with the contract things, like will the vibes be a little bit off? We'll get back to Dan in a second. He's brought to you by Cars.com.

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Yeah, I think Philadelphia is going to be really good. I know the conversation with Jalen and Nick Sirianni, and you hear reports of like they don't like each other. Then you hear reports that they're totally fine. It's like, I don't know. It's probably somewhere in the middle. But I do think that they're loaded on offense specifically. I think their young talent on defense has got to step up, you know, Jordan Davis and Jalen Carter specifically. But I think they will. So expect them to be really good. I expect the Rams to be really good. I think the Rams could have the best offensive line in football, maybe.

Maybe, you know, like the interior of their offensive line is freakishly big and dominant. So I expect – and I think it's going to be like almost – I don't want to say the Denver Broncos back end of Peyton Manning, but I think they're going to run the heck out of the ball and just like, hey, staff, make like five or six throws a game instead of 45 throws a game. So I expect them to be really good. Yeah.

I think Tampa Bay is going to be a good football team. I favor Atlanta in the division, but I do think Tampa Bay is going to be really good. I think Seattle has got to – like this is a little bit to the point of, you know, I was having this conversation with someone the other day, and they're like, what do you expect? I'm like, I can tell you the teams that I don't think are going to be good more so than the teams like I think aren't going to be good or are going to be. Like in the NFC, who's going to be bad? Like who do we think is going to struggle? I still think Carolina is going to struggle a little bit.

I think the Giants are going to struggle still. That's about it. You know, I think everyone else is going to be like a good, solid football team. Arizona's a little bit unknown, but like, I think they'll be good too. It is crazy how the NFC has, like the talk has been the AFC because it's got Mahomes, Burrow, Allen, Lamar. Yeah. The NFC's got, it seems like some really solid football teams this year. That's going to be a really tough way to get out of there. What about the Bills? Yeah, just...

I think the Bills are going to be really good too. Go ahead. I'm sorry. I was just going to say, dovetailing off the 49ers take, the Bills might be in that camp too where we like the Bills. They've been a fun team. They've been right there for the last several seasons, and now they had some contract issues. They've got new guys in.

And the vibes might be off. Like McDermott, we have a theory that coaches sometimes they just carry the weight from these bad vibes around with them. It just becomes a part of them. And McDermott's been through some pretty, pretty tough ones. And it feels like if you have to try to reinvent yourself every single year and get over those bad vibes, eventually they're going to catch up to you and you're just going to be kind of like, you know, maybe this window's over. But I hope that's not the case in Buffalo. What do you think about him?

Yeah, like sometimes the message just falls on deaf ears at some point and it's blah, blah, blah. So I still think Buffalo is going to be a really good football team. Obviously, the Milano injury is massive. I think they're trying to replicate what happened in Kansas City post Tyreek with, you know, but a bunch of good people around the quarterback defenses are playing us a certain way.

Josh is going to have to play a little bit of a catch-and-throw type of offense, and he's going to have to have the discipline to do that, but the talent to –

when it's necessary. I had someone say this to me this offseason about Buffalo, and they said they knew for like a year or two that this year was going to be the maybe retool, rebuild year, just contractually. And they were setting themselves up to be aware of that. And then next year, so the 25 year was going to be the year that they felt they could regroup

really go all in again financially and whatnot. And so I think if that's true, like organizationally, they're aware and ready for maybe not being the team that...

you know, wins 13 games or something or wins the division and probably still has a chance to get into the plus. I think, you know, it's a little bit unknown because you've got to see how some of the draft picks like Cole Bishop pans out and whatnot, like Keon Coleman. I still think they're going to be a playoff football team. I still think they're the team to beat in the AFC East.

But if what that person kind of said is true, like they're ready for maybe not the highs and getting, you know, gearing into 25. That was always the shame with what has happened. And we're obviously very biased for Josh Allen with the Bills and the Chiefs is that the Chiefs were able to restart their quote unquote rebuild. You're never rebuilding when you have Patrick Holmes a couple of years before the Bills.

and the Bills were all in, and they had this older roster, and they weren't able to beat the Chiefs. So it's like the Chiefs not only beat them to the rebuild, but they're already in a different place. We were talking about it yesterday. I mean, the Chiefs have a chance to make history and be the first team to ever win three Super Bowls in a row. What do you think? Like, it's never happened. So is there – do you think, like, hey, this team is just that good, and Patrick Williams is that good, and they've rebuilt so well on the fly, and even getting rid of really good players like Snead –

I mean, is it crazy to say the Chiefs are going to maybe do this, which is nuts?

Oh, not crazy at all. They're better this year than they were last year. And that's with all due respect to the Jerry's. The Jerry's is great. But I, you know, to your point in comparison to like the Buffalo thing is it feels like every chiefs draft pick has hit. I don't care if it's like the first round or the sixth round. So like they've been rebuilding this secondary with some like four, fifth, sixth round picks that they've just hit on that they've developed. And yeah,

I don't really expect the defense to take that much of a hit or that much of a drop-off, and their offense is going to be significantly better, specifically just speed and catching the football. So

I do. They're the favorite. If you told me them or the field, I'm taking them. I think the two things that are in the conversation, if it doesn't happen, obviously they got to figure out left tackle. That's going to be a part of it. But like one, there's more teams and more ridiculously good quarterbacks now than there were two years ago and last year.

Like, and you just have to hope that you catch Patrick on a B or C day. And you're one of the teams that has the quarterback that if you catch him on like a B day and you get your guys a game, you could beat them. Now there's just not a lot, but there's more than there has been. Like if the jets catch him on a B day and Rogers is on, you can, they can catch them the same with Buffalo, the same with Cincy, the same with Baltimore, the same with Houston, the

And that's probably it in the AFC, I would think. You know, and so like you those one of those five teams, you got to hope that you catch up on an AFC championship game day like two years ago or three years ago. Excuse me. When Cincinnati went like they just Patrick did not play good. And the second half was terrible. You know, they caught him on a B or C day. And Joe had a good, good enough game. And they go instead of Kansas City.

Yeah, I think the Browns almost caught him in the playoffs a few years ago, right? The Browns had a really good game. Totally, the Chad Henney game. Yeah, the Chad Henney game. That was with Baker, right? Yeah, Chad Henney had to go in for Patrick and led that long drive, and I think he converts fourth and one to Tyreek, and the rest is history. That is the thing, too. I don't know if it's very reminiscent of the Patriots where it's like, I don't think it's luck.

Because they're just coached so well, but they do always have those big plays. The fumble last year with the Ravens, where it's like that's the play of the game. That's where they knock it out on the goal line. The Chiefs always find a way to make those big plays.

Yeah, it's like Tiger Woods back in the day. Like, oh, you know, we're going into Sunday's round against Tiger at a major championship and he's one stroke back. You're going to lose. You know, it's just that feeling of you're going to be – you're going to hit a ball out of bounds on 15 or 16 and he's going to make par. And it's almost like you've got to – teams are going to have to at some point get over that mental block of, oh, it's Patrick in the playoffs. Like last year, remember, it was, well, they've got to go on the road. Yeah.

And they obviously went and accomplished that. And so, yeah, it's just really a mental thing for those teams. And Cincinnati is like the only one that really feels like they've done it and their quarterback has done it. Yeah. Yeah. So let's talk rookie quarterbacks. We are heavily invested in this rookie quarterback class on this show.

Yeah, you are. Can you just give us a rundown? What can we expect? What is the ceiling and what is the floor on the first round rookie quarterbacks? Yeah, I won't touch JJ, obviously, because he's not playing this season for Minnesota. But, I mean, Caleb is remarkably talented. Caleb is as talented physically as a quarterback that's come into the league, both in the ability to throw the ball and athleticism.

as many of them, like the names that when you just say physical talent are, you know, Andrew Locke and Lamar Jackson, I'm not saying to do it in Kansas City because I've kind of made a promise that I'm not going to do that type of stuff. But like, he's got that type of physical gift that comes

combo of like, Oh, you were born to throw and you throw differently than a lot of other human beings on the planet, but you move differently than a lot of other people as well. And so, you know, I think that like if, if they can stay healthy and those, especially Keenan, Keenan's got to stay healthy because I think he's a really big deal when it comes to a,

you know, super physically talented quarterback. Like if you have a guy that is, can get open quickly and be a possession person, it helps you play a little bit more boring. It helps you get the ball to your hands quickly because he's capable of doing stuff with it. That inconsistency Rome's got to obviously play like a top 10 pick. So I think physical talent is remarkable. The thing with Caleb that, you know, is like one, uh,

And every young talented dude goes through this. Like you, he's going to have to learn what he, what he can and can't do. And when he should and shouldn't, you know, like at USC, he had to hit him on every play because his defense was God awful. There might be games when you just don't have it and your defense is balling. And like, you're, you might have to take a couple more checkdowns or sacks will matter. And so like, is he able to figure out that balance of like when to go chase the splashy play and when to be like,

No, no, no. This is the NFL and I'm on the road versus Jordan Love. And, you know, it's god awful weather. And really the most important thing is me not hurting our football team rather than, you know, chasing points. But I still think he's got a chance to have a really good season. Jaden, I'm a huge fan of. I think Jaden, you know, the number one quality throwing the ball in the NFL is where you can throw it. And can you throw it away from other defenders? I think Jaden does it better than anybody in the class.

And I think his experience at LSU and really learning, like he had to handle a lot of motion, a lot of formation, a lot of protection. That bodes well for him in the NFL. You know, I want to see what Cliff does with their offense. Cliff's offense is a little bit more standstill centric. Hey, dude, just go get open or get to space. That's contrary to what Jaden did at LSU, but I still think he throws it remarkably clean offensively.

and like has a complete control and understanding of windows opening and closing. And that's again, big part of what they did at LSU. He's got to learn to stay healthy in this league. And when he takes some shots and when he's not supposed to, but I just think he's so good in the pocket as well, you know, and his, his,

pace and feel in the pocket of Washington's offensive line is solid. I think they're going to be pretty darn good on offense. Drake May, development so far has been awesome. For me, I've always said the Jordan Love model. I wouldn't play him this year. I think New England's offensive line, I think rookies need three things. Plus, scheme and play caller. Alex Van Pelt is there. Don't know a ton about him. I know his scheme is a little bit LaFleur's and Stefanski's. I think it's his first time in a long-time call and play, so that's to be seen. They

They need plus offensive line, plus skill. They don't have plus offensive line or plus skill players. So I wouldn't play him, but not in meaningful games, maybe at the end of like November, December. But I do think he's shown the development with his mechanics that like you're super excited about. Penix, I don't expect to play. But the brief time we saw him, like he looked ready. He looked like he belonged. And then

Bo Nix really like – I remember when Brock started playing in San Francisco and you were like, huh, like you saw that the right way or, man, that ball came out quickly or, yep, that's where the ball is supposed to go versus that defense. And like Brock – or Bo had a little bit of that in preseason. Now it was vanilla stuff and whatnot and –

you know, they're not nearly as talented on the perimeter, but I am intrigued a little bit more than I thought I would be by Bowen in Denver as well. So I think all of them got a chance to get off the decent starts. Yeah. Is it a possibility, however remote that Kirk cousins comes back and he's, he tries to play and he's clearly not fully recovered. Cause that's a serious injury for somebody that's his age. Right. And maybe he struggles right off the bat and maybe they put Pennix in. And if Pennix doesn't struggle,

Then you've got Kirk Cousins on a brand-new contract, two years guaranteed at least, and they just have to go with Penix because he looks good? So I think the chances of him coming back and maybe the injury impacting, like I would say –

A lot of different styled quarterbacks, maybe like Kirk's a statue. You know, he Kirk's going to put his back foot in the ground. He's going to see the defense. He's going to cut it loose. Like, so I don't think the movement element is like that big a deal for him, you know? So I'm, I have no idea how long it takes or what it feels like. I've never done that. Thank God.

Uh, so like I would expect him to be kind of the version of himself, you know, and now if he struggles and whatnot, then it obviously could become noisy. Cause the expectations I think are relatively high and Michael is older and played a ton of snaps, but I just don't expect Kirk to struggle. I don't know the last time Kirk did it play well. And I don't think the Achilles is going to be the reason why that he didn't play well, really over a consistent period of time. Um,

Hypothetically, something happens. Kirk isn't playing well. Michael's got to play and plays really good. Yeah, you're playing the young kid. There's no question about it. And then you're just figuring out the cousin situation after that. I got to. So this is an interesting season because I think we have a lot of really good coaches that are not on the hot seat, so to speak, but they're in the category of they got to win a playoff game. Like Mike McDaniel, Mike Tomlin.

Mike McCarthy, I guess it's all the Mikes. All the Mikes. Do you think that there is something to that? Like if the Dolphins don't win a playoff game, they have a great offense all year and then they just do the same thing where they have a no-show in a cold weather environment. What starts to become the vibe with something like that where it's like you know you have a good coach, but you got to win a playoff game at some point.

Yeah. I don't think there's any chance that Mike McDaniel will get like is in jeopardy at all. Right. I get your point. Yeah. I just think like with the way the team is built right now, the makeup of the team personnel wise, what they've done with Tua, what he's done with Tua. I think also like sometimes like last year they were the one seed and then they just got the Baltimore Ravens syndrome of injuries. You know, remember that two or three year stretch where the Ravens were awesome and then all it felt like, oh my gosh, the whole team got hurt. Like that's what happened with Miami. Yeah.

I think Miami's situation is tough this year just because like they got to wait until about halfway through the season till everyone kind of gets healthy. Jalen Phillips and, you know, Chubb and some of their offensive line pieces and their back, like their, I don't know, you guys have checked it out. Their last eight or 10 games are absolutely brutal. Like,

If they're not firing on all cylinders, their final eight could be a nugget. Like their, their schedule is that hard. Like they go to Buffalo, to New York. I think they're up in like maybe Baltimore, like their last eight games are brutal. So yeah,

I just don't think Mike's at risk because of everything that's happened for that organization. McCarthy, we all know like they're going to have to, they're going to have to play well and win a meaningful playoff game versus like a good team for it to matter. You know, like I go back to the two years ago when versus the bucks, like the bucks were terrible that year, anybody was going to beat them. Um,

Mike McDaniel, Mike McCarthy, and who's the other? Mike Tomlin. I mean, Mike Tomlin hasn't won a playoff game since 2016. He just signed a new contract. Again, this is not hot seat. Like, I don't think there's no world that Mike McDaniel gets fired. But it's more like preemptive, hey, this is – you guys got to do something here. The Cowboys got to do something. You know? Yeah. No, it's fair. That's – you know, the Tomlin one is probably a fair one. You constantly hear that over the past couple years too. And that's a little bit why –

Like, let's live in the world where the Steelers and Russ, Russ plays fine. They win. They go 9-8, 10-7. They don't get in or they get in and lose. And what do they do next March then? Right. You're going to be picking 20.

are you going to pay Russ 40, 50, $60 million? So what do they do at quarterback again? So I think that's a little bit attached to the whole Tomlin situation, but I just don't see, I get your point with the whole, like it gets really loud conversation out there, but maybe not specifically hot seat stuff. I'm trying to think if there's anybody else that you can kind of put in that category. Yeah.

I think Doug Peterson in Jacksonville is fine. Yes, Sirianni would definitely be in that category. I think Sirianni is like mid-October. Right. I think Sean McDermott, who I like, is in that category where I know there's a transition year, but if it's a transition year and they're resetting, that might be the part of the reset. Robert Salah maybe? Yeah, there's these guys who I think are good coaches and a lot of teams would want –

But it's very interesting because it's actually, when you look at it, it's a Patrick Mahomes problem. Patrick Mahomes ruins everyone else because he sucks up all the wins and the Super Bowls that then you have all these really good coaches. It's like, well, you can't win the big one. Well, no, it's because Patrick Mahomes is Patrick Mahomes. Yeah, it's the Belichick-Brady thing. Like, I remember when I first got started in TV, like, I don't know, one of the things that –

I was super passionate about was trying to get people to understand like there were other great coaches outside of Bill Belichick, even though he wins like every game he coaches in and they only are the only team that's been the same with quarterback. Like, you know, there's other great quarterbacks outside of Tom.

And we're kind of in that world with Kansas City and Patrick. It's like, if you're not Andy Reid, let's fire our coach. Right. Like, no, your coach is great. And if you're not Patrick Mahomes, like you suck. Josh Allen sucks. And Joe Burrow sucks. And Lamar. So we are in that world a little bit where like, if you just fall short to, you know, those hall of famers in a way it's, but I do think it's not, I don't want to say it's fair. It's just the reality of life in the NFL, you know? And it's, it's like, if you are good, you,

and the expectations constantly rise and you're not meeting those rising expectations, like you're going to be moved on from because the patience just isn't a thing in that league. Yeah, we need to start an updated list of guys that got fired indirectly because of Patrick. Because of Patrick. Yeah, he's killing jobs. Yeah, because it is. It's true. Like he is going to get like if Sean McTierney – I jokingly say it all the time. Like I always be like, yo, this is Patrick's fault.

This is Mahomes' fault. We can blame Patrick for this. Why is this quarterback going to get drafted in the top five? Because it's Patrick. Everybody wants Patrick. What we say on our show is when you have a Hall of Fame guy, and it goes back to Brady, where their last level of being one of the greatest is they become a thief of joy.

So, like, you can go to, like, around the league and, like, oh, yeah, Tom Brady was a thief of joy. Yes, a 49ers fan. Patrick Mahomes is a thief of joy. Like, he's taking joy away from you. I'll never say this to him. I'll never say this to him because I'm a huge fan of his. I have a son who can't stand him. Oh. Hates Patrick Mahomes.

He's an Eagles fan. Okay, so that makes sense. He's a thief of joy. He stole the Eagles joy. Yeah. Hates him. Hates him. He's like, oh, Patrick Holmes. You know, he gets all the breaks. I'm like, no, he's just the best player on the planet, dude. And I would never say it to Patrick. Probably words you're going to get back to him type thing. But, yeah, I got one. He's like, oh.

Mahomes sucks. I'd be like, oh my gosh, dude. You know what's really sad, though? At least for me, I think Big Cat might feel the same way. I would love to be good enough to have Patrick Mahomes steal my joy. I aspire to getting my dreams crushed by Patrick Mahomes. I got a fun thought experiment for you, Dan. We're talking about the Chiefs and how great Patrick Mahomes is. Andy Reid, obviously a great offensive coach. They've got some interesting weapons there. If it was the Super Bowl and

You were on the Chiefs right now. Dan Orlovsky signed by the Chiefs to be the backup quarterback. And the Chiefs were up, let's say, 50 to 20 at halftime. Patrick Mahomes has uncontrollable diarrhea. He can't come out and play the second half. And they're like, Dan, you got to step in there. You got to be quarterback. Right now, do you think that you could hold off a 30-point lead in the Super Bowl? Oh, absolutely. We're going to Disney World. That's easy. For sure. You think so? Absolutely. Now, your defense gave up 20 points in the first half. Yeah. Yeah.

No, we're fine, dude. Like I could waste time in and out of the huddle. I could get the ball to my hands quickly to Travis, probably make one or two throws down the field. I would live in the Ryan Fitzpatrick world. That's what I would live in. Like, hey, dude, this ball's getting chucked. And like it might get picked off here or there, but I'm also going to make some big time throws. And make all your interceptions deep balls. So that way it's like a punt. They don't even count. What would be the points we would have to have?

Um, for like, as a chiefs person, like how many, what do we got to score? No, no, no. What would we, if we were quarterback? Oh, um, to not blow it. Yeah. Either of you guys were quarterback. Cause I saw some of the, some of the competitions over the summer boys. Like, um, well, we're swimmers. We're swimmers. You can't take that away from us. I saw the talk. Um,

You guys would have to have probably a 45-point lead for us to feel good about. I think that's a little bit disrespectful. Yeah, because we could just hand it off. I mean, I'm thinking the other team is going to get six possessions naturally, maybe five, and you're going to give them another three or four. They just go 11 in the box? Yeah, they just stack them.

Can we go under center at all with you two, or does it have to be in the gutter? Yeah, I'll go under center. Yeah, we might trip and fumble, but we can go under center. I'm short enough I wouldn't have to even bend down. How tall are you? I'm 5'8". Yo, PFD as a QB sneak would kind of be a weapon. Yeah, it would be. I'd just do the tush push. Yeah. I'll get in that guy's ass.

It's a good hypothetical. It's a football term, yeah. Yeah, it's a football term. Listen, I would go like six points of contact on the ball. I would run like Mike Allstott. I would be the only quarterback to ever have a cowboy collar, and I'd have the neck roll. And a cue collar. Yeah, just be like, give me the ball. You need one yard, I'll get you a yard. You need three yards, I'll get you a yard. Yeah. Yeah, you would probably look like Field Yates did at the fantasy thing this past weekend. Just get –

That was tough. He dislocated his shoulder trying to tackle an inflatable dummy. Yeah. On sand, too. On sand. Yeah. I guess on one hand you could be impressed that he was moving fast enough to land hard enough to dislocate it, you know, but that's a tough look. All right, so I got a couple last questions for you, Dan. This has been awesome. Give us your conference finals and your Super Bowl. Okay. Okay.

AFC championship game. I'm going to go the Kansas City Chiefs and I'm going to say the New York Jets. Oh, all right. So you're not a Florida. Are you not high on the Bengals at all this year?

I think this is the bounce back here. No, I totally am. Okay. No, I totally am. I just think, you know, it feels like everything always goes against the Jets. And yes, last year was such a disaster. I'm banking on a little bit of like good karma coming their way type of thing. But I think this Cincinnati team is going to be fantastic. I've got to see what happens with Jamar, right? Like, you know, what happens with Jamar. And then the NFC, I'll go Detroit and...

I'll go Detroit and the Los Angeles Rams. I like that. Repeat. Yeah, okay. And then Super Bowl? I'll say Kansas City and Detroit. That would be great. That would be, I mean, Detroit. And what happens? And Patrick Holmes steals the point. Should we just not ask you what happens? Would it be better if you didn't say what happened in that Super Bowl?

No, like, cause anytime, like the great thing about being in TV is the only time that people care is when you're right. So like, if you say it's like taking 35 jump shots, you know, like eventually a bunch of them will go in. Uh, what happens in the Superbowl, Kansas city wins, um, brutal, which is somehow some incredible, somehow, some way. Yeah. Somehow, some way Patrick, you know, has the ball last type of thing like usual and finds a way to make some stupid throw and,

Yeah. Kelsey makes it play. You, you mentioned the Rams being the NFC championship game and their run game. I painted a picture yesterday. I'm a big visualization guy when it comes to my betting. And I said, Matt Stafford MVP is not a bad price.

because he's never been fully in the MVP discussion. It might be one of those, it's all about narratives, and if the Rams are really good, the one or two seed, he could be the MVP. Do you think he'll throw enough, though? Yeah, I do. I mean, and I think, like, there's...

Their play action game this year, I expect to be so good, you know, because of the offensive line, those two backs that they have, and then like just how they're going to build their pass game. You know, I think offensively, the chunks are going to be such a big deal. So again, I don't think the majority of their offense is going to be Stafford throwing it for, I don't know, 800 attempts type of thing, but I do think he's going to put up really big numbers and,

And like yardage touchdown wise will be extremely high. So I don't hate the Stafford MVP conversation. I don't know if like being LA minimizes that because it's not like a –

I guess like a massive NFL market, but I still think they'll throw up plenty with Sean in it. Okay. Yeah. I mean, the NFL office is like the media office is in Los Angeles. So don't they share, do they share a building? Are they share some of the facilities with the Rams? I think the Rams facilities around thousand Oakstone, like trailers. Yeah. I thought that they were moving though. Cause we were, they've been moving for like five years. Yeah. They've,

I don't know if they have yet, though. All right. So the other L.A. team, I just want to hear you say what you think Harbaugh is going to do because we're very high on Harbaugh. We love Harbaugh. We he told us what don't bet against us, which inspired me to, in fact, not bet against them. So I feel like I don't know the Chargers. They had a rough season last year. Things were way up in the air for him. But I feel like Harbaugh is going to fix a lot of stuff, even year one.

I agree with that. It's just at some point this league talent does matter, and I just don't know how talented they are on the perimeter offensively. Like, Justin's going to be playing hurt, so how much can he manage the pain with the whole plantar fasciitis thing? I think their offensive line is going to be a good unit, and they'll try to control the ball and get into good situations, but...

Like, if Ladd McConkie is the guy and it's really like the only guy on the perimeter, that is concerning because at the end of the day, like I said, like in their division, the Raiders are going to have a really good defense. The Chiefs have a really good defense. The Broncos, I think, are going to be solid on defense, especially with Sertan. So,

I do think the chargers are like a much more competent football team this year at the end of the day, but you, you gotta have guys on the outside to really, really, really matter. And unless Quentin Johnston, their second year kid from TCU, like takes that jump and consistently catches the football, they're just not going to be. And so, um, I,

I do think they'll be improved. I don't think they'll be good enough talent-wise on the outside to really, really matter. Yeah. Okay, last question, rowback question. RHOBACK.COM, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, swimsuits, everything, rowback.com. This has been so much fun, Dan. I mean, elephant in the room. We have to talk about it. Promo code TAKE, rowback.com. Elephant in the room.

Did you commission that piece or did someone just make it for you and give it to you? Because that's ridiculous. What's behind you right now? You guys don't have the shrine of your best moments. I just been staring at it. It's a, for people who are just listeners, it's Dan Orlovsky and all of his jerseys in the NFL playing and a huge American flag behind it and a huge NFL logo. And he's pointing at us.

please tell me someone gifted that to you and you didn't commission that. All right. So a hundred percent of gift. Uh, good. So do you remember the dude, Chris Myers used to play center for the Texans? Yes. Like on all time, like one of the best centers of his generation. So we've, I've known him for a long time. Long story short, we played together in Houston. We moved to both our wives from Philly area. Uh,

They were building a house. He made a lot more money than I did. So they were building a house. We had bought, they already built a house. And so like I was playing still and they, their family needed a place to stay for a couple of months. So they stayed at our home while they were kind of like waiting for the house. So this was like his thank you gift to him or to me. And so like, yeah, it's just a shine to myself that I thought would be a good background. The best is this, the best is this.

So the Texans won. That's where I played with Chris. The Texans won. I played a little bit down there, but not a ton. Like, jobs somehow went from the most injured quarterback ever to the least injured quarterback ever when I was down there. The Lions won. I think that's the year for Logan 16.

I don't know if I played in a regular season snap in Tampa Bay. I don't know if I did. So like that would technically be from the preseason. Actually, my chin straps unbuckled. So it 100% is. Um,

And then this is me to everybody on social media. The Indy one. Pointing, yeah. Shut up! It's quite something. I like it. And the American flag in the background is a nice touch, too. You did all that for our country. Yeah. Thank you for your service. Yeah.

There's a lot. Me and the military, same level of type stuff. I'm joking. Yeah. All right. Well, Dan, thank you as always. We'll have you back on this football season. We're just so pumped for football to be back. So you're the best. Yeah. And hopefully all of our predictions come true. I appreciate you guys. Always fun to be on. All right. Thanks, Dan.

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Dan Orlovsky is brought to you by Chevy. Great friends at Chevy have some great news for you. The Silverado is back and it is better than ever. And they're a great partner of part of my takes. They sponsored the low man trophy that we give every year to the nation's top college fullback. They helped us dig the biggest hole ever dug during Grit Week.

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Head over to Chevy.com, build your own Silverado or your Silverado HD and check out all the current offers on Silverado. Discover a world of strength and capability all behind the wheel of our favorite truck, the Chevy Silverado. Okay, we're going to wrap up the show. Good luck, Hank. Everyone has been waiting for it is the Mount Rushmore Duel. So we've done Mount Rushmore season all summer long. What? I don't know, 20 Mount Rushmores, maybe more. Felt like it just started. Blind Poles.

And we've ended with a tie for third and fourth place between Hank and PFT. Max clinched like 10 months ago. I clinched two weeks ago. And we don't know who's going to have to do it. No, PFT almost came in second. Well, if you look at the final standings, Hank and I were pretty close to Big Cat, actually. That's true. But you weren't. Yep.

Well, we weren't at your level. I just want to say congrats to the AWL. You guys did a great job on the pole on Friday. Yes. Absolutely masterclass. So hats off to you guys. I'm enjoying this duel. Yeah, so we've never done a duel before. So we thought the- Oh, it has. No, it actually did. It started. Yeah, it did start. Yeah, PFT did. It will probably be in the PMTV. PFT won longest drive. So he is going to go first.

on the first Mount Rushmore and the third Mount Rushmore. It will not be snake. It will be one-on-one, back and forth. The duel is going to work because we've never done a duel before, and we figured the best way to do this, the fairest way to do it, is we're going to have blind polls, truly blind polls. So we're going to put the polls out before the episode's out.

So if you're listening to this, you've already voted and it's already been decided. These guys don't know. We're going to show the polling after. When are we going to announce who won? At the end of the show. No, but when are we going to announce to the world who won? At the end of the show. So as of tomorrow morning, it's fair game for us to talk about. They'll know. They'll know and they'll also hear us at the end of the show. We're going to pull up the blind polls. So it's basically live voting.

Uh, we're, we're, we're going to do the Mount Rushmore and put the polls up right after. Not going to look at it. So we'll be surprised when we look at the results. No internet pen and paper, pen and paper. You guys each have a minute when the Mount Rushmore, uh, topic has been announced.

Max, Memes, and I have discussed, we've come up with three Mount Rushmore's that we think are very fair. Now, did one of you each pick one or did you pick all three? We threw out a bunch of different topics and then we whittled it down and we figured let's come up with a topic. Basically, our criteria was we want Mount Rushmore's that won't burn other Mount Rushmore's.

We want Mount Rushmore's that will have some good options. And then we want a Mount Rushmore that will make you think. So there's two that I would say are going to be a little bit easier. And then the third will be somewhat difficult. But you guys will have exactly level playing field on all three of these Mount Rushmore's. I'm excited. This is good stuff. This is exciting. This is good stuff. All right. So the first Mount Rushmore, you have one minute.

The Mount Rushmore of guitar solos. No, I'm just kidding. That was a joke. I started to write Freebird. I was thinking if we had just done like so, so slick. Do you just want to do that? The Mount Rushmore of breakfast taco places in Austin. Tyson's. All right. The first Mount Rushmore that you guys will be competing against. The clock is up. The Mount Rushmore of HBO shows. PFT has first pick here.

So they're going to have a minute. Max, would you like to discuss? This is thrilling. They're writing down. I just put up a minute on the computer that everyone can see so everyone knows how much time that they have. Yep. Who do you think has the edge in this one? I actually don't know. I don't know. I think Hank thinks that he has the edge, but he probably will end up not having the edge. Yeah. I mean, they both have watched a lot of HBO shows. Everyone has. And this is kind of... We picked this one specifically because...

It is really like, it's going to be tough to see the voting. I don't think people will be able to figure out who's picking what. It's going to be great. And remember, you really only need like eight shows that you can think of because there's only eight picks. 15 seconds, not 10 seconds. Five, four, three, two, one. Pens down.

PFT, you have the first selection on the Mount Rushmore of HBO shows to start off the Mount Rushmore duel. I'm going to take the meatballs of this draft. I'm going to go with The Sopranos. Great pick. 1-1. Great pick. And Max, we can editorialize because it won't affect the voting whatsoever.

So we can talk about it. That's a good pick. We can have a free-flowing discussion. Sopranos is... Maybe it's in the argument for the best TV show of all time. I agree. It was a clear 1-1. But here's where it gets interesting. And it's very funny. It's such a funny show. There's some really good HBO shows. So I love The Sopranos. One of my favorite shows. I think we can all agree it was heartbreaking when Tony killed Christopher. And when...

What's his name? Who's the guy that got... Phil Leotardo got run over by the car, right? Yes, he got squished. And Bobby got shot in the train store, the model train store. Yes. That was tough. RIP. Tough to stomach. Literally. I think you're a big Janus fan, right?

You guys ruined that show for me. You ruined it for thousands of AWLs. You guys should be sickened about the things that you've done to people, but for some reason you enjoy it, and that's all right. Okay. So I didn't get to fully enjoy The Sopranos. I haven't fully enjoyed this show. I've seen it a million times. I don't think it's the sexiest pick, but it really is my favorite show ever made. It's The Wire. Ooh. Good pick. Okay. I had The Wire as a round three pick. Yeah, it's a good pick. It's a great show. It might date yourself a little bit.

But that's okay. Yeah. You'll get a new Jews vote. Yeah. Yeah, Jason Whitlock's going to vote for you. Mm-hmm.

Okay. He only votes for winners. Okay. PFT. Your pick is up. I'm going to go curb your enthusiasm. Great pick. Easy number two pick for me. Great pick. One of the funniest shows of all time. If we had the live odds right now, PFT would be up 70%. See, there's a show that I think I enjoy more than curb. It's eastbound and down. Oh, great pick. Didn't see that one coming. I feel like that might have been a reach. Another good pick. It's a definite reach. It's a great show. Listen, I love Kenny Powers. Funny stuff.

It was a great, what, three seasons? Was it three seasons?

I think it was more than that. Well, I only watched three because then it started to fall off. There's some good picks out there waiting for you. I'm going to go Game of Thrones. I mean, Game of Thrones, it was a cultural phenomenon. You can say what you want about the last season of Game of Thrones. Are you worried at all that people will think that that was Hank's pick? No, I think they're going to say this is a person that knows TV. That could have been. To the voters, they might think it was Hank's pick. I can't believe Hank let that. I'm a football guy through and through.

I'm going to go hard knocks. Wow. So before we started, Hank said that one of his strategies he might use is trying to muddy the water where people, he believes the AWLs will vote for PFT. And he thinks that they'll vote for PFT no matter what. And if he muddies the waters enough, they'll vote for him.

thinking he's pft having eastbound and down hard knocks and what was your first pick the wire i think having the wire and hard knocks he's done a pretty good job of that eastbound oh my god pft you got to just go with the banger

All right, so you have Hard Knocks as your third pick. He smiled. Look at him smile. Yeah. Look at him smile. Now, see, the problem with this is... You know Game of Thrones is my favorite show. Yeah, everyone knows that. It's hard to think of it right off the top of your head because there's a lot of shows that I want to say, like, are these HBO shows or not? And I can't remember, especially some of the more recent ones out there. So, your pick. It's going to be one of the weird ones. Oh, no. I can't stop it. This is going to be a weird PFT one.

And I can't think real sex.

I'm going to take real sex. Oh, my God. They're both fucking just puking all over themselves. Real sex was great. This is a true version of Mount Rushmore. Now people won't know which one's VFT. Oh, my God. Real sex. Have you ever watched an episode of Real Sex? I have. I've jerked off to it. Yeah, I've jerked off hundreds of times. That one episode they kept on playing where it was just like,

porn stars uh fucking uh like dildos and they just showed it all yeah it was awesome this is enlightening yeah hey he's stunned he kind of just got you there because like you were going pft and then he went full pft yeah real sex but it was a horrible pick it was have you ever seen real sex hank no but but if the awls are voting for pft they'll see real sex and they'll be like that's pft

I had to do it. They will. He just pissed all over his Mount Rushmore. No, because they're going to see Game of Thrones and be like, Hank, and then Hank also had the worst pick of all time. No, here's how they're going to see it. I know exactly how the graphic's going to look. They're going to see The Sopranos...

And then they're going to see Curb on there and be like, that team dominated. Then they're going to try to look to see who had the weirder picks, but they're not really going to care because it's going to be the Sopranos and Curb Your Enthusiasm carrying my team to a championship. Okay, so Hank, you have your last pick. Yeah, you're probably right with that. Ali G Show. Wow, you guys. So Shane's listening to this. He's making the graphic right now.

Now, I know it's hard because you've got to think off your head. Yeah. The fact that no one picked Succession would have been...

See, that's the one I forgot. I wasn't 100% sure that it was HBO. Yeah. I thought that there was a chance. That would have been a dynamite pick in the third or fourth round. Yeah, I thought in the back of my head there's a chance that this is an Apple Plus show. Yeah, because that would have been recency bias. Everyone voting for it. Casey would have voted for it with a Chinese farm factory. Well, because she was in it. Yep. Entourage also played. Entourage. Oh, Entourage. Entourage. Veep. Veep's another one.

The fact that fucking Eastbound and Down went before Entourage. Yeah. Listen, those are three huge misses. But it's not so easy to do in one minute when you just have to think about it with no internet and just write everything down. Band of Brothers would have been a good one. Band of Brothers was a good one. Band of Brothers was a really good one that was missed. Veep. I love Veep. I think it's one of the funniest shows. Thoughts.

Thought that could have been a different network. You thought that one might have been different? Yeah. Sex and the City I also thought about taking just because it was a big show. I never watched it, but I know people did. Yeah, Mayor of Easttown, not really well known. That's a good one, though. White Lotus, The Jinx. I thought Rose did it the entire time. I still think... Euphoria could have locked up the Gen Zers. Your first three were so strong. I know. Thank you. They were so strong.

Okay. I feel very good about that. If I'm putting odds on that, I think I got minus. It's me minus 250. I'd agree with that. Yeah, I agree. I think Hank's in trouble. Yeah, Hank might be in trouble. All right. So Hank is going first in this next Mount Rushmore. Again, we're posting these polls live. So at the end, we're going to see who won all of these. So is that one up? No, it's going to be up at 8 o'clock. This one is going to be very interesting. Very interesting. Very interesting.

Very interesting. Very interesting after what we just saw. If he's going first and he's trying to muddy the water here, this one is going to be, Hank is going to have to do some thinking with what he wants to do. You guys would be great hosting Squid Games. You sickos fucking love it. No, we really, when we thought about which three, we're like, because we knew HBO would be like, there's so many options and there'd be some misses and there'd be some really good picks. But this one, Hank, you might outsmart yourself.

We are going to do the second Mount Rushmore and the Mount Rushmore of duels is the Mount Rushmore of quarterbacks. You have one minute.

This is going to be great. I'm going to miss the time of not dueling. I know. I'm obsessed with duels. I've been wanting this moment for so long and the fact that it's here and Hank just shit on himself. Next year we might have to just change Mount Rushmore season where it's like an actual schedule of duels. We just need duels. Yeah, like everyone plays everyone twice. We just duel each other constantly.

I'm so excited to see where this goes. Yeah, this is going to be very interesting. And Hank having the first pick in this one is great. Very interesting. That's the content gods just coming through for us. And PFT, I think, knows he's got one in the bag, so he can maybe get freaky with this one and try to reverse it on Hank. Ten seconds. Okay. Ten seconds. Hank, you have the first pick. Five, four, three, two, one.

Pens down. We can still keep thinking. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Of course you can still keep writing. But now it's go time. Now it's go time. Henry, your first pick on the Mount Rushmore of quarterbacks.

Tom Brady. Okay. All right. Okay. I mean, there was a chance. I could never live with myself. I could never live with myself. We didn't know, obviously, the order, so we couldn't have even planned that, that Hank would have to go first on that one while also trying to be PFT. Yeah. Okay. I got to go. Hank's going to win this one. I can tell you the way that this draft is going to shake out, his team is going to be stronger top to bottom than mine. So I'm going to go with the man Tom Brady passed, Joe Montana. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Congratulations, Hank. Henry, your pick. See, Hank kind of only knows Tom. Yeah, it's true. Matt Casselow.

So much time. Just make your pick. Patrick Mahomes. Oh, my God. Good pick. If you passed on that, Hank, I was going to be screaming at memes in the booth thinking that you were going to pass. Because you also just locked up. You just made a huge conglomerate of Mahomes and Brady fans have to vote for that side. That was smart. Because if he got Mahomes, then it becomes like an MJ LeBron thing and you fucked yourself.

I was debating Mahomes or Montana with my first pick. Mahomes is the pick. It's the pick for, if you want, people who are probably voting in this poll. Correct. Yeah. All right, so then I'm going to go with Peyton Manning. Okay. Good pick. Henry, name a quarterback not named Tom Brady or Patrick Mahomes. We should have put a shot clock on picks. Can he do it? Can he do it?

Folks, can you do it? Look on Hank's face right now. For people who are listening on podcast right now. Say a quarterback's name. This is Billy on the Street. Aaron Rodgers. Oh. Whoa. Interesting. How many Super Bowls? Oh, one of his Super Bowl? Some say the greatest quarterback of all time. Literally no one. I said some. No, but I fall on that some. You think he's the greatest quarterback of all time, Beams? Right now, yes. No, no, no, no.

You think he's the greatest quarterback of all time? Yeah. 100% you, that's what you actually think? Yep. Playing ability. He's a stud. Okay. You want to muddy the waters in the first one? Oh, no. Let's muddy the fucking waters. Joe Flacco, put it on the list. Oh, shit. That's tough. No, Hank, you just... I mean, Hank, you have this. I got to play defense now. He's playing defense. You have this. I thought you were going to say Danny Woodhead, that one time he threw a pass.

John Elway. Oh, good pick. Good pick, Hank. All right, you're playing it straight. You're back. That was a good fourth-round pick. I think we got a 1-1. I think we got a 1-1 as well. All right, so I'm going to go with Troy Aikman. Okay. Okay. Dan Marino would have probably played well on the draft. Yeah, but I just got done talking shit about Aaron Rodgers winning one Super Bowl, so that would have been tough for me. Yeah. Big man. Throw him up there. Jameis. I was thinking about, if you didn't pick Flacco, I was thinking about doing that to muddy it, but...

Well, I'm just going to hope and pray on that one. All right, so your four, Hank, were Tom Brady, Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers, and John Elway. Your four were Peyton Manning. Joe Montana. Joe Montana. Joe Flacco. Troy Aikman. Troy Aikman. That's got to be me. It has to be you. Yeah. Well, we'll see. Thanks.

The AWLs would be doing some nasty work if you didn't win that one. If I had to do one thing over that, I would have taken Patrick Mahomes over Joe Montana. But I think that Joe Montana does belong on that list ahead of Patrick Mahomes right now. But I think you get Montana in the second. Yeah, I could get Montana. I don't think Hank's picking Montana. I think he would have. Okay. Because he only— Oh, I would have picked Peyton Manning. No, he only knows about Montana because Tom Brady broke all his records. Yeah. All right.

This is a tough one. We've made it so that the third is always going to be the tough one. And you guys, again, have equal playing field. Can't believe I missed Entourage. You both have been present for this Mount Rushmore. So there's no way anyone can have an edge. The last Mount Rushmore in the Mount Rushmore duel is the Mount Rushmore of PMT Mount Rushmore moments. We only got one minute.

Give you two minutes. You want two minutes? Give you two minutes. Yeah, two minutes. PMT, not PMT moments, PMT Mount Rushmore moments. So it's basically the Mount Rushmore of Mount Rushmores. Well, again, you guys have both been present for all of these moments. And there's only two of you. Like, if there was four. Shut up. We have to talk. This is a podcast, Hank. We have to talk during these two minutes or else people will not listen to the podcast.

Some may say this is slanted against Hank because he's checked out of Mount Rushmore. Yep. Forever. I also don't know if he took his Adderall today. Oh, no. He had to have on a day like today. I mean, this is the biggest day of his life. When are you ever going to duel again? Seriously. We have 10 seconds of the first minute. Take your headphones off. We have to talk. All right. The first minute is up.

Second minute coming. So many great moments to think of, right? The way that Hank is reacting right now does not make me feel good for his chances. No, he's not acting from a place of confidence. He wants to say shut up again right now. Yeah, he does. He's mad. He's thinking really hard. Memes just said he has two 1-1s. Wow. Wow.

I'm not going to lie. I don't think I would be good at that. This is hard. This is hard. It's a hard one. Yeah, I think we might... I'm okay with going to three minutes. Three minutes? Okay, I'm okay with that. Three minutes. Do you want me to... I can't say anything to jog memories. Yeah, I mean, there's so many that I don't know if they were Mount Rushmore moments or that there were other moments from the show. I mean...

We'll have to just check the tapes. Two minutes are up. We're giving them a third. We're giving them a third. We're giving them a third minute. We're giving them a third minute. How was your weekend, Max? It was fine. Yeah? No, it was fun. It was a really good weekend. Good. Good wedding. Yeah, don't say fine because someone's listening who got married. Yep, shout out Jane and Mike. It was a great wedding. It was fine. I just felt like shit today. That's why I say it was fine. But that's because I had too much fun at the wedding. I don't know how you...

Well, I do know how you do it. You're in your 20s. Yeah, I have three more this month. Yeah. I'm exhausted from just watching football. Yeah. I'm going to the park with my kids. It was basically on loop. I know that I'm a famous hangover plane guy, but being on a plane hungover is... Oh, it's fun. If we were doing Mount Rushmore, like the last place you want to be hungover, a plane is...

easily on that list yeah all right we got nine seconds left boys do we need another minute are we good are we feeling good are we I would do another minute if Hank wants another minute do you want another minute it's not another minute another minute boys another minute the listeners gotta be they're waiting here you know what let's do a let's do a uh we'll cut this minute out let's just not talk for the listeners okay

memes just said he had three one but memes also all right we'll just keep talking we also had we knew this ahead of time i didn't look any of these up so a lot of these are going to be i'm going to be no i i i can think of a couple there's there's a couple one ones we also just never know what a one one is we never can explain that no although sopranos and tom brady was a one one

I don't know. I wouldn't have been surprised if Hank picked Game of Thrones 1-1. I'm not a Game of Thrones guy, but so many people. But he was trying to muddy the waters there. I know, he was trying to muddy the waters. Real sex was a crazy answer. Five seconds left, by the way, boys. Real sex was a crazy answer. Real sex was insane. All right, we're done. What are we doing?

Okay. All right. We're doing it. Let's go. We're doing it. PFT, you have your first pick on the Mount Rushmore of PMT Mount Rushmore moments. This could be to decide the duel. Okay. Right off the bat, I'm going to go with a recent one. Debating the color of cheese for four days. Interesting. What do you want that? Say on the graph. Yeah. I wanted to say I'm shocked.

I don't think that was one. I wasn't one. One. I'm going to say Hank is shocked. Debating. Screaming at each other about the color of cheese for four days. Okay. Okay. Shane. I'm shocked. Hank, you're one. One. My one. One. And part of my take Mount Rushmore moments is the pizza toppings. That's it. That's the one. One. That's the one. One. Fuck.

I forgot about that. But they might think because that was such a bad Mount Rushmore for Hank, they might think that that was you. Yeah, mind game. But that was shocking. That was bad. That was the first thing I thought of. Hank is in shock still. Okay. This is great. I'm so deep in my own head right now. This is great because it's all of our own moments. So it's like our stupidity. Then you have to pick which ones. It's really the human centipede going on right now in podcasting history. We're eating our own ass. Yeah.

I'm going to go with my second pick. This Mount Rushmore duel that we're doing right now. That might have saved him. Who knows? But people haven't listened. Cake's looking like he's home free. I'm going to go with a single hornet. I had that on the list. That was one of my one ones. I had that on the list. Single hornet, I stand by. The most outrageous answer in the history of Mount Rushmore. EFT might be playing a masterful mind game.

Because those are PFT, like the AWLs, they look and see pizza topping a single Hornet. They're going to think PFT. But then wait, no, no, no. I just reversed myself. You got to just play the game. Hank's playing it masterfully. We don't know who's playing it masterfully. No, Hank has PFT's picks right now. He has both your picks. Shit. No. Hank's going to fucking pull this off. No, there's still two picks. Hank could easily fuck this up.

I'm not sure if this is Mount Rushmore moment, so I might get denied on it. All right, that's fine. Jack Nicklaus. Yep. It was? Yeah. Yeah. Good answer. All right, so you want to say Billy's pronunciation? Billy mispronouncing Jack Nicklaus. Neams is challenging that. Why? He thinks that it wasn't a Rushmore moment. I think it was. Oh, it wasn't. Oh, no. Wait. He was doing it for a who's back. He was doing it for like a who's back or a hot teeter cool throne. All right. Damn, I had that on the list.

I think PFT can pick again at the end. No, he gets to pick again. No, he gets to pick again right now. That's fine. I was going to say it. I was going to say it. Confirmed. How's he colder? Okay. I fucked up. Why didn't you? Because I forgot about it. I didn't have the opportunity to look up. How did you forget about it? It's literally the entire. Listen, when you're under the bright lights. But that's a little bit different. That's the villain origin story of Hank in Mount Rushmore season. It's how we got here.

That's actually true. Hank, the pizza toppings draft, you hit it, and that's how we got to this point. Okay. PFT's pick. He's got to get a pick. Hank not taking boobs in the Mount Rushmore of round things. Did that just happen? I think. A couple weeks ago. We've been doing this for nine years, PFT. Oh, Hank's talking shit. Hank's doing a deal. All PFT's picks are this year's. Yeah, although that could help.

recent awls i will go with hot soup coming through oh was that about rushmore moment i believe it was i think it was memes can we check that out not rush more things we think we're elite at i said it during that probably because we're talking about moving through crowds i think i think one of my pick was moving through crowds yep all right okay so hot soup coming through counts as a as a mount rushmore moment

We've gone to the booth. We found it. So that is your third pick. PFT, your fourth pick. Okay. I'm going to go season one. Okay. Scott Van Pelt doing the bracket of Mount Rushmore's to finish off Mount Rushmore. Love that pick. That was a good pick. I had that on my list that I just came up with in my head. That was the first time we had SVP on the show. Yes. Yeah.

We had to go meet him in some rented office space in Bristol because he didn't want to bring us anywhere near home base. We're on a whiteboard. It's a good pick. Hank, your fourth pick. I will also go season one. It might give it away that it's me, but I don't think it should matter. Jumping off a bridge to cure a hangover. Okay. That's a good one. I couldn't think of much else. Would you guys have anything else on the list?

I played recently by us. Jack Nicklaus. Yeah, Jack Nicklaus I thought was Mount Rushmore. Jerome Bettis. Yeah, I thought about that. Taking Jerome Bettis. Hank

teamed up with Max and then Hank leaving town and Max dominating. Well, well, well, that's a great one. Yeah. Mr. Positions, Mr. Positions, Titty. Yeah. That was both in the same one. Yeah. The Mount Rushmore of numbers. Oh, oh, Mount Rushmore of draft positions with Jerry O'Connell. That's what it was. Oh yeah. When he just didn't understand. I think his third pick was like Austin Eckler. Yeah. Oh man. Uh, okay. Uh,

How do we feel? I feel great. I think I would say Hank is minus 170. I mean, that first pick was... Hank's minus... I couldn't believe it. Yeah, yeah. Big miss. Big miss with Pete Stoppins. You didn't even write down Pete Stoppins? I did not. Just didn't think of it. Didn't occur to me. It's like all I think about because it literally is the start of Grumpy Hank. I know.

Yeah. I'll never forget it. He's never changed from that moment on. Listen, you got to have a short memory in this game. It's before and after pizza topping. Like, if we do a part in my take book...

It would be like volume one would be before Pizza Toppings, volume two after. I'll say this, though. Not PBT. If I win this because of Pizza Toppings, it'll be a full circle moment. Oh, that's true. So you'd let go. I think I would. You would let go. I think I would. At that point, the Pizza Toppings draft would be the start of the championship DVD for Hank. Yeah. For your mindset. So next summer, you wouldn't be grumpy. No.

Wow. Because you used it. You reclaimed it. I don't believe that. You took that back. Oh, man. Okay. Like we couldn't use that as an insult anymore. It's a good point. That's true. Yeah. Memes, what were your one-one picks that you thought about?

Pizza toppings. One single Hornet. The draft positions was also just one of the funniest things. Because you guys just kept picking numbers. Jerry O'Connell couldn't figure that one out. I wasn't sure about single Hornet because I wasn't sure if I remembered it so well because it happened to my pick or if it was...

That was the worst pick of all time. Before Pizza Toppings, that was the most talked about Mount Rushmore pick. It was like animals you'd want in a fight to the death. Yeah, single hornet. Just fuck with you. Oh, yeah, to be on your side. Yeah, because it can sting you repeatedly. It doesn't lose its stinger. And then if the other person's allergic, guess what? They're done. You guys letting Billy pick eight picks when you guys only have four is also so funny. Oh, yeah.

I also thought about doing Hank blowing the Mount Rushmore of Taco Bell. Yeah. That thought crossed my head. Or Jake and Billy doing AI Taco Bell. Both of them admitting beforehand they'd never had Taco Bell, and they just were like, oh, these are Chalupa. I love it. I forget the one that I couldn't remember, which means it wasn't. Jake in the old studio in Chicago said something last summer that was legitimately stunning.

I just can't... I can't remember it specifically, but that was, like, the funniest. I just... I couldn't remember it off the top of my head. There were a couple Jake moments that I also thought about. One was the Mount Rushmore blue things. When he accidentally said a competing blue sponsor. And he wanted to kill himself. Yeah, he did. We just...

We initially were like, Jake, oh my God, I can't believe you did that. We gave up the joke with Jake after about 30 seconds because it deeply affected him. Yeah, he was so upset. And then I also thought about Billy when he would go off script from Jake. Yes. And they get into such big fights. I mean, that's just an entire summer. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we're going to pause to do the rest of the show. And when we come back, we will pull up the polls that will be final by that time. And we'll figure out who won.

Good luck, boys. Congrats to Hank. I think Hank is the clear favorite. So I'm not feeling too confident in my guys right now. Okay. Okay, boys. You just listened to the Mount Rushmore duel. It's been the longest two hours of my life. Longest two hours ever. We've done the voting. We've all... I have not seen a single poll. Nope. Hank, you going to put the cans on? Hank, put the cans on. You're going to want to hear what memes and Macs have to say. We're going to pull up the polls and then on Wednesday's show, so we do have a show tomorrow as well.

On Wednesday's show, the loser will pick out of a hat to see what they have to do. Hank, it was a pleasure to compete against you.

Any regrets before we go look at the polls? Big regret. Entourage. Entourage, Succession, big regret leaving them off. Succession, didn't know if it was 100% an HBO show or not. Entourage was just a miss. Pure and simple, just a miss. Would have loved to have the internet to look this up. And then, obviously, I wish I had taken Single Hornet. We...

Are you still not saying your regret is pizza topping? Well, I completely... Well, obviously I regret that, but I didn't even write down pizza toppings on my list. I'm still flabbergasted by that because that's all I think about. Yeah, pizza toppings. The fact that I didn't think about it to even write down on my list, big fuck up on my part. And then...

I did have Single Hornet on the list, but I didn't take it because I thought maybe since it's about me, maybe I thought it was more important than other people would think that it was. I just got in my head on that one. Yeah. Okay. Hank, any regrets? No. You feel confident? Let's throw on the field. Okay. So, poll one. HBO shows. Do we have it, Max? Are we pulling it up? Memes. Pull it up. I'd rather hear it from somebody. Oh, you want to hear it? Okay. HBO shows. HBO shows.

Team one, 79% of the vote. That was PFT. I'm going to say that for the listeners. Team two? Team two got 21% of the vote on that. It's about what I expected. All right, so PFT's up one to nothing. How many of the replies were like, both these lists were dog shit?

Everybody was just mad about Entourage. Yeah, fair. Yeah, I mean, we should put, there's a disclaimer. You guys were under a lot of pressure in the duel. The duel is not easy to go right off the rip, not even have a second to think. You have one minute to think. So, okay. This one is going to be interesting. Team one is who in this one? Team one is Hank. Okay. Team one, 85% of the voting. Oh, my God. Bloodbath.

Congratulations, Hank. I would have loved to know what happened if you had Patrick Mahomes in that draft. And then I'm going to guess that in the third one, we're going to see a result that's very similar to the second poll. Oh, no. I think Hank took it home with like 80% of the third poll. Okay. The third poll. Who is team one? Team one is PFT. And the third poll, team one, 55%. Whoa! No way!

No way. Oh my god. No way. What? Wow. Hey What listen no way are you serious? serious, how He pulled it off. Thanks for the one Hank thought he had that in the bag shout out to the awls Oh my god, Hank. You thought you had that in the bag How is that possible?

I think What Color Is Cheese was huge for UPFD. Because it was so recent, yeah. Oh, Hank, give us your thoughts. This is justice for the AWLs. They wanted Hank to lose.

I'm stunned. Summer of Hank officially over. Yeah, I'm stunned. That hurts. That hurts a lot. When I heard 81%, I thought it was over. Yeah, 1033 on Monday, September 2nd, the death of the Summer of Hank. So, I mean, this is even worse for pizza toppings now in Hank's memory. 25% or 25,000 votes. Hank got double fucked by pizza toppings.

Oh my God, Hank. So now you're going to hold pizza toppings against us forever. Yeah, that hurts. That hurts. That hurts a lot. I don't know what... I can't believe that. I'm shocked. Yeah. Oh, also, oh shit. PFT with the... Now I'm seeing it in the graphic form. That was genius what he did. Oh my God. Your third pick, Hank not taking boobs, is the biggest giveaway of any of the graphics. Yeah.

Hank would never take Hank not taking boobs. Wow. I don't know if you meant to do that. I didn't. But that's exactly what it is. When you look at the graphic and you look at it, Team 2 has a heavier line, but Team 1, Hank not taking boobs is a dead giveaway. You should have taken Hank not taking boobs. I don't regret anything. I really have no regrets. You asked me before, PFT1, fair and square. This is going to hurt.

I thought you had it. I thought I had it easy. Hank, are you going to hold me taking Hank not taking boobs against me? No. I mean, you changed the graphic like three different times. Oh, no. Do we need another jewel? Because your pick was Hank not taking boobs in the X draft. Round things draft. Yeah.

Yeah. But then the draft was just Hank not taking boobs. Yeah. But your pick was Hank not taking boobs. Oh, I see what you're saying. It does look better just saying Hank not taking boobs. It's the start of the sentence. Yeah, without the finish. And you asked them to change it. Oh, man. I thought that encapsulated my pick. I'm seeing some of the replies and people are like, it's clear PFT's team won. Wow.

Yeah, I mean you... He outsmarted you. You won. You changed the graphic. You did good. I'm happy for the AWLs because I think... You know what, Hank? They really wanted Hank to lose. You know what, Hank? Whatever the punishment is that you have to do, I will volunteer myself to do part of it alongside you. No, it's all right. It's all right. I will. It's all right. You won fair and square. I wouldn't do that for you, so... I know you wouldn't, but I would do it for you. It was a good battle.

That hurts. I'm shocked. I thought I lost. Man, I want the clip of Hank when PFT didn't take pizza toppings. I want the clip of Hank when he just lost. That truly was a great moment, though, because I thought you had won it. Yeah. I thought the only way was somehow the Flacco thing. Hank not taking booze. I thought the third pull was a win.

I thought I lost the Mount Rushmore. People have recency bias, I think. Yeah, that's what I was planning. I think it's the third pick.

Don't you, Max? Looking at it now. The graphic change was big. The graphic change. The graphic change from what you actually said. Because Hank not taking boobs in the round things draft doesn't come off nearly as hard as Hank not taking boobs. Right. And you said Hank not taking boobs in the round things draft. Hank not taking boobs in the round things draft. The only way this could end is more conscious. Would have also heavily implied that it was me saying,

Hank not taking pics in the round things round. It pops. It is what it is. We're arguing about deleting a couple words. You did ask them to delete them. Twice. I missed that. Twice. So Hank. Did that happen in person? Yeah. And I think he went over there. Oh.

You made your pick look better than what you asked. Like, you should have just said Hank not taking boobs, but you said Hank not taking boobs in the round things draft. Then you saw that on the graphic and changed it to something that looked better. What were your picks in the last one? Is that fact or fiction? What are your picks in the last Mount Rushmore? It doesn't matter. I'm curious to know, Max. Can you tell me what they are? Memes pull them up. I had pizza toppings, a single hornet, hot soup coming through.

And jumping off a bridge to cure a hangover. And were those the ends of your entire explanation for what your pick was? Yeah, that's what I said. What's your pick? That was my answer. Okay, well, more controversy. Hank, I'll do some of the punishment with you. No, no, it's fine. You won fair and square. You made sure you changed those graphics, and you won. Wow. I didn't realize. I missed this whole graphic change thing. I think that's fair. I think that's fair to say Hank not taking boobs.

Then why didn't you say that the first time? Why didn't you say that? Why did you say... I did say Hank not taking boobs. In the round things draft. Yeah, but I also said Hank not taking boobs. Yeah, now you did. Jewel, jewel, jewel, jewel. It is what it is. I love the jewel. I regret nothing. I mean, my picks were good. I thought I won. I didn't. I'll do the punishment. I can read the room, and the room right now is thinking Hank's got a point. Color of cheese also got changed.

Yeah, we said two things. I didn't even know that. That wasn't one of the original two. What color is cheese? What did it get changed? But your first one was arguing about... Yeah, you just changed the answers to things you didn't say. But the moments are the same. But our picks, it's the same thing as what happened with Random Guy. Your pick is what you say, not what you want it to look like on the graphic. But my pick was the what color is cheese debate, so that's why what color is cheese was on there.

Your pick was screaming at each other about the color of cheese. Okay, again, I can read the room. Shut the fuck up. You also didn't, like Shane said this in the group text, you didn't answer this in the group text. You just went up to him and had him change it. No, because they asked me. That's why I asked. Because they asked me, are you fine with this graphic? Did I go up to you? I said, are those two correct? And then you changed the other two.

You said, is this graphic fine? I said, do these match what your corrections were? And then you were like, can we do it to Hank not taking boobs and what color is cheese? Yeah, I shorted the Hank not taking boobs to Hank not taking boobs. And the original correction was the Scott Van Pelt one.

This is Philadelphia 2020 all over again. Okay, so like I said, I can read the room. I can see that Max is saying that Hank might have a point here. I can hear in Memes' voice that he's thinking. Memes also might be upset because I asked him to do like one second more work, and that's what he's upset about. So I can understand. I would like to say on the record, I'm siding with you. You're happy that I won, but you know that Hank also has a point. He has a point, but I don't care. So what I would like...

After the Tyler Van Dyke shit, I'm out on Hank. So what I would like to do. Dead to me. Hank, shut up. No, shut up. You got what you wanted. I'm doing the punishment. I don't want your sympathy. I'm going to do one hour of a punishment after cheating. That's not what I'm saying. It's over. That's not what I'm saying, Hank. What I'm saying is I would be willing to run the duel back on Wednesday. Are we going to duel again?

We're going to duel again? I would be willing to run the duel back on Wednesday. A re-duel? A re-duel. Because I acknowledge that this could be looked at as me changing it. I wasn't trying to get away with anything. But what I was trying to do was just...

say what I said on the show have the text match the moment that I selected but I can see how it comes off the other way so I would like to offer a redo Should we let the listeners decide? Yeah we should have them vote I need a glove and Well they're going to vote for a redo I need a glove to slap Hank in the face with and challenge him Do you accept a redo? I challenge you to a duel We're never going to get out of Mount Rushmore season

Yeah, of course I would accept a redual, but I also don't like... Let's fucking redual! So Hank, if you win, do you tie in the redual and then we have to do a third redual? Let's fucking redual. Best two out of three? Or are we saying if you win the redual, then it's your win? Right now it's one-to-one Mount Rushmores. Yeah. Or two-to-one, you're technically up. But if you're taking that one off the board, then it's one-to-one. Okay, so we can take that one off the board and then do one more Mount Rushmore for everything? Yeah.

That works for me. One more duel? One more duel? Mount Rushmore? A single duel? A single duel. For Wednesday's show? For Wednesday's show. So we would re-duel and do the same thing post the poll right away? Yeah. If we do that, you have to say exactly what you want on the graphic in the moment. You can't have any, no modifications. So a single re-duel? A single re-duel. Works for me. You're going to re-duel?

PFT, you're going to re-duel? Yeah. Can we see a handshake? Anytime, anywhere. Shake hands. Shake hands on the re-duel. Wow. I didn't realize that there were so many graphic changes, but I still stand with PFT. Me too. Me too. So why re-duel? I could hear it. I could hear the controversy, and I don't want this to be controversial. I want this to be... No, it's not at all. No, there's no controversy. You won fair and square. May the worst man lose. You did win fair and square.

But you're taking it off the board yourself. I did not ask you for a redo. You offered it. I began to feel bad because there were significant changes that were made to the graphic. That is 100% correct. I don't think I violated the spirit of the rule, but I'm willing to acknowledge that the listeners deserve to have a clean cut, no excuses, fair amount Rushmore duel conclusion. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, so Max Memes, we got to come up with a fucking banger Mount Rushmore. We need a doozy. We got to come up with one that's killer. Yeah. It also doesn't allow for any hijinks. Simple answer. Hijinks. Or just, you know, whatever you say goes on the graphic. Yeah, or whatever you say goes on the graphic. Memes is mad. I knew Memes was mad. I didn't realize you went up to Shane that definitely. Shane, do you have anything to say?

Shane, do you have any? I talk to memes. Memes talk to Shane. Oh, that was smart of you. Well, no, because memes- Keep your out of direct- Yeah. It's like counter stallion. Yeah, that was smart. No, memes came up to me with the graphic. He's like, how does this look? And then I looked at him and I was- For the changes that you asked. Shane, so you were given orders from memes, right?

Shane? Hello? Yeah. Hi, Shane. It's a podcast. We're doing a podcast. Well, I didn't know if my mic was unmuted. I was given orders by multiple people. Wow. Who? First, it was, I think, Max. Max told me PFT had some... Well, the first one was justified, the Scott Van Pelt one. Okay. Because it got a little wordy, and it was not necessary. The cheese one...

What I initially had written was you corrected what you initially said, and you said you wanted it to say...

screaming at each other about the color of cheese for four days straight, and then there was another change after that was made. Yeah, to what color is cheese? Correct. Yep. And then the Hank boobs. Which just isn't what you said. Yeah. It was the moment, though, was the what color is cheese moment. The Hank boobs one was, I think, the most egregious. Egregious. Looking at the graphic, I now see why PFT won that.

Like, it's a clean graphic. It's a clean graphic. We should repost the original graphic and see who won. That should be the read-through. Who would have won? All right, so, wow.

So tomorrow's show, we're going to have a redo. So AWL. I'm curious if people are going to be happy about this or mad or what. Yeah, I don't know. If they're mad at anybody, they can be mad at me. No, be mad at me. No, I prefer that they're mad at me. I don't want anyone to be mad to Hank. So let's do the Mount Rushmore. We'll do it in the morning, and then we'll post the poll tomorrow.

Why don't we post a poll right before we record the rest of the show and we won't look at our phones again? So we'll only leave, like, we'll only be like an hour. We'll know, we'll time it up. So it's not like we have to be off our phones for the whole afternoon. Redual.

By the way, the guy is still not He's deleted his Instagram and his Twitter And everything else The guy who's supposed to eat shit I will Dog shit I will make sure this guy eats his shit He should eat I'm not going to rest until he eats his shit He should have Ben poop in the cup Yeah, yeah, I love Ben Max didn't say anything, wow I love Ben I love Ben I love Ben Okay, Redual We got to come up with a great Mount Rushmore, boys It's got to be awesome

We got to think. And when I say we, I got to think. Unless memes are max, you got anything. You're going to say color. Give us a color. A color would actually be pretty good. Oh, should we drop a color on that? You know what? AWLs, give us some tips. Give us some tips. Throw some tips to me, Max, and memes his way. We'll look through them. Okay. Good show, boys. Reduals on. And then we should have the hat ready to go as well.

So the loser has to pick out of the hat so we can just be done with Mount Rushmore. How about we do the hat first? Oh, I love that. I love, love, love that. I love that idea, Max. That's a great idea. All right, so we'll have the hat, so we'll be done. We'll be done with Mount Rushmore season. Okay, numbers. 56. 3. 8. 97. 40.

If either of you get it right now, do the other one's a loser? Yes. I love that. Yep. I agree with that. 8 and 40? Okay. Everyone say their numbers. Great. 10. Ben. 21. 56. Pug did 97. 15. 15. Love you guys. See you for the redoal. Redoal.