Fantasy Football Preview With Jerry O’Connell, Mt Rushmore Of Everything + Great Listener Submitted FAQ’s
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Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have our fantasy football preview with the one and only Jerry O'Connell in studio. He took the red eye to get here.

It was great. It's great to see JOC. Mount Rushmore of, pardon my take, guests. So we did it all. He also had a nice poem for Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of everything. We're very close to having Mount Rushmore season end. We're going to do FAQs, listeners submitted FAQs, and talk a little football. And it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings.com.

We had the appetizer last week. Now it's time to feast. College football is back. Don't miss any of the action. Jump in at DraftKings Sportsbook. It's a full slate of games for week one, including the big matchup in Atlanta between the preseason number one and number 16.

Clemson and Georgia are playing on Saturday. It's super easy for first-timers to get started. Try betting on something simple like picking a team to win. Go to the DraftKings Sportsbook app, select your team, and place your first bet. This is going to be DraftKings' biggest college football season to date.

Enjoy the ride now all the way through the expanded playoffs. And for all newbies getting into college spirit, here's something extra special. New DraftKings customers bet $5 to get 200 in bonus bets instantly. Score big with DraftKings all college football season long. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Now use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Okay.

Let's go.

Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings. Score big with DraftKings all college football season. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. Use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers. Get $200 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Wednesday, August 28th, and it is cut day, boys. Yeah, we're going through it right now. We're all going through it. Going through it big time. A lot of guys that you thought were going to make the team based on how they did in week three of the preseason.

A lot of those guys ended up not making the team. How they sang in Hard Knocks. How they sang. Austin Reed got cut. Yeah. Oh, how do we feel about tonight's Hard Knocks? Can we do a recap of that? Oh, yeah. Recap of Hard Knocks tonight. It is 2.30. We were in it again. Yeah, we were in it again. The whole thing. So we just went back. It was a recap of our episode from last week. Yeah. We went back and we rewatched week two of Hard Knocks. Yeah.

They should need to show more Caleb. More Caleb. Yeah. No, we phase out Hard Knocks around this time. I'm going to watch it. I don't think...

Anyone else is going to watch it? No. But that's okay because real football is about to be back. But we do have cut day. I saw a rumor that Jameis might get traded. Yeah. So Jameis, the $4 million vibes guy, I think it's a clear case of the backup quarterback being too popular. Yeah. Especially when you got Deshaun Watson ahead of him. So I feel like the Browns, they- I mean, they could have anyone traded.

So DTR is going to make the team, they said. So Jameis might get traded, and we should all be so lucky to have Jameis Winston. That's actually great news for us because everybody has something to look forward to. Maybe Jameis Winston will be on our team by the end of the day. Yeah, I mean, well, I was going to say our team, Barstool Sports. He might be traded to Barstool Sports. If he gets cut and no one picks him up, he's got a seat ready to go. Listen, if you want to make Deshaun Watson happy, all you have to do is you trade Jameis.

Jameis Winston to Barstool Sports in exchange for our personal in-house masseuse, Hank Lockwood. Yes. To the Browns. Talk about a vibe switch. Huge vibe switch. That would be the greatest vibe trade of all time. Max, you just yawned and made me yawn. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Now people are listening right now, yawning. There's someone who just yawned because of that. Hank was laying down earlier, so that's what made me yawn. We had to do an ad. We had to do an ad. We had to do an ad. Do you guys want to get mad about an anonymous poll?

Yes. Okay, let's do it. I still think PFT, it was fair. It's not that big a deal. Oh, no. We'll get to that with Mount Rushmore. ESPN polled over 100 NFL players to rank quarterbacks according to a variety of criteria. Let's get angry. You guys ready? Yeah. So, the GOAT standings according to over 100 players as it stands right now, Tom Brady 85, Mahomes 7.

Okay. Good, Hank. Feels like he's still holding a lot of ground there. 85-7. That means that 8% of NFL players don't have either one of those two as their all-time favorites. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like some people just missed some of these questions because there's... Oh, I guess there was several other players receiving votes. They didn't list them. I would like to know. Yeah, I want to know, too. I would like to know. Maybe Peyton Manning? Paul George? Yep. Yeah, throw that out there. Okay, rank the top three current quarterbacks. Does anyone want to guess what the top three were? Patrick Mahomes. Yes. Lamar Jackson. Yes. Yes.

And for the third, I'm going to say Aaron Rodgers. No. It was Patrick Mahomes with 291 votes. How does this vote? Oh, points. They get three points. Top three in their point totals. Patrick Mahomes blew out Lamar Jackson over double the points, who blew out number three, Joe Burrow. Oh, okay. The players know. The players do not forget about Joe Burrow. And then other receiving votes were Josh Allen and then Aaron Rodgers.

Being in the others receiving votes category for Aaron Rodgers, that's a tough look. Yeah. It is kind of funny that whole VP thing. He could have been the VP and still made it to week one. I also think that he would have gotten more votes as VP than his percentage of who the best quarterback in the NFL is. I'd agree. Bad decision, Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers does not have Secret Service protection right now, though. Yeah. Who will be...

the best rookie QB, best career. And this was a poll that was done before J.J. McCarthy got hurt. Not that it matters, but we'll just throw it out there. Jaden Daniels. Jaden Daniels finished second. He's so good. Kale Williams was first. See, this is, PFT, this is one of those situations where we do have same conference, same

Both have new quarterbacks, but I feel like we're in a good spot together where it's like I'm rooting for your guy, you're rooting for mine. That's not going to last. Shut up, Hank. Shut the fuck up, Hank. That's not going to last. Shut the fuck up, Hank, and let me get to the point here. Cale Williams and Jaden Daniels both were very close in votes, 34-30. Wow, that's really close. J.J. McCarthy was third. He wins. Other top vote-getters, Michael Penix Jr. and Bo Nix. No Spencer Rattler. No Drake May. Interesting. Interesting.

Not even on the other top vote. He's not others receiving votes. Bolton board. Tough summer for Drake's. Okay, that's tough. Most overrated quarterback. Drake May. No. Okay. Most overrated. Trevor? Josh Allen actually won it, was number one, but there was someone more important, number two. Only actually two people tied for second, a vote behind. Deshaun. No. Tua? Ooh. Tua's on the list. And...

Jalen Hurts. I was going to say Dak, but he's properly rated at number 17. Jalen Hurts, overrated. I love every single second of all of the Jalen Hurts slander this offseason.

Is there a chance? He was hurt last year. He wasn't himself. You said it yourself. Brandon Walker had this question to our co-worker, Connor Griffin, who's also a Philly fan. He said that at some point this season, you were going to utter the words, Jalen Hurts is a bum. No. Do you think you will utter those words at any point? I think you uttered them last year. No, I didn't. At any point, not even in the heat of passion.

Well, we've said it ourselves that in the heat of passion, I'm a passionate guy. You are. You're Italian. You run hot. I could say that after one pick. I don't actually mean that. I could say that you could be having the best game ever. Question for you, Max. Is there even a small, small, small, small, small, small part of you, you said no, that thinks Jalen Hurts is good? Oh, no. Oh, no. You said no to that? Please make that a quote.

Big head asses are a small, small, small, small part of you that thinks Jalen Hurts is the guy. People just have the quickest memory of all time. Yeah, thank you. Wait, did I say that wrong? Did I say that wrong? I appreciate that, Max. What'd I say? You said the quickest memory. You meant the shortest memory. That's the same thing. No. People have a short, I mean, he played. Max is moving. Max, cut him some slack. You're moving right now? How long does this move? Moving sucks. Yeah, but how long is it?

I mean, I had to move my girlfriend from New York to Chicago, and then she moved into my place, and we moved into a bigger place. I got to unpack like 50,000 boxes.

The toilet is fucked up. Toilet's fine. Toilet was fucked up in my last place. My entire apartment is just filled with boxes. Sounds like you're not ready for football season. I got a shit couch. I just bought a new couch, which I'm very excited about. Okay. Can I give you a tip? And Jalen Hurts, I got to listen to these knuckleheads over here talk about Jalen Hurts. These knuckleheads. That's a good use of knuckleheads there. It's a simple matter of fact, though, that they don't have their center anymore.

And Jalen Hurts' best play was the quarterback sneak right behind his ass. He's got to learn an entirely new ass. He's going to be fine. People forget we went and got fucking Saquon Barkley. Wouldn't you say, though, just the fact that we're having this conversation means there's a little part of you? You started this conversation. I didn't. The anonymous poll did. We are podcasting here. I'm answering a question. The anonymous poll started this conversation.

Those are idiots. They don't know anything. They play in the league. Yeah, stupid. I'd like to know what his receivers would say. AJ Brown came to Philly because of him. And is he going to stay in Philly because of him? He just signed a long-term deal. Okay. So maybe he'll get Jalen Hurts out? No. Okay. Max, can I give you a tip? No free ads, but just hire ServPro to come and get all the boxes.

I don't even know it. It's the best move. They get rid of the boxes? Yeah, they come and just take them all and get rid of them. They move them out of your apartment. Yeah. It's not that expensive. You just call, schedule it, because that is one of the worst parts about moving is when you get everything out of the boxes, and then you're like, I have a house full of boxes. There's like a little entryway to my apartment. It literally is. It's just all boxes. Spider will call them up for you. Spider's the man with that.

Okay? There's your tip. So then you can not be grumpy. And you can maybe be honest. You can be honest about Jalen Hurts. You'll see. Everyone will see. Everyone will see. Others receiving votes for most overrated, Justin Herbert, Trevor Lawrence, Deshaun Watson, Kyler Murray, and Brock Purdy. I don't know that Kyler Murray is that overrated. I don't think he's highly rated at all. He was last year. Like going into last year. Maybe a little bit. Yeah. Most underrated quarterback. Brock Purdy.

Number one tied with, this is a good one I agree with. Matt Stafford. Correct. Matt Stafford. Kirk Cousins tied in third with Jared Goff, Jordan Love, and shocker, Bryce Young.

Most underrated. Well, I guess he might be most underrated because everybody thinks that he's the worst quarterback. He's rated so poorly. So low that it's impossible for him to be overrated. Yeah. What about the best, biggest trash-talking quarterbacks? Fun one. This is the last one. Ooh, this is fun. Patrick Mahomes. No. Kirk Cousins. Not even close.

Josh Allen's number one. Okay. Love that. Baker. Yes. Yeah. Number two. Baker likes to run the Jaws. And then Aaron Rodgers, number three. Fun anonymous poll. It's just like another thing. They just keep throwing us little appetizers back and forth right before we're just waiting so desperately for football to come out. There's like, oh yeah, here, discuss this for a second. We'll give you a little tidbit to run about. Yeah. I can see Aaron Rodgers being very sarcastic with his trash talk. Yeah. Yeah.

He definitely spit something at you from the comment section. I also feel like he's one of those guys who does the first down in your face after a penalty when the DB is arguing and he'll just walk by and be like, move the ball. We're going that way, buddy. He'll pick the ball out of your hands and be like, we're over here. Yeah, move the chains, buddy. Nice flag. Yeah. What else we got?

I don't know anything else that's going on besides content. We can read some headlines. The NFL is considering approving private equity investment in teams. Saudis? No, that's not Saudis. So they're still against foreign governments being able to invest in it. That's next up. And so this whole thing is just that we're running out of people who can afford to buy NFL teams.

Got it. Because they're getting so expensive. So there's like 40 people in the United States that right now, in theory, could purchase an NFL team. So they're like, how do we make this work? Oh, yeah, we'll just let private equity buy it. And everyone knows everything that private equity touches turns to gold. Yes. So this is going to be a great move by the NFL. No downside to the fans. They should do a raffle for one NFL team.

10% of the team goes to one fan? No, or just like one fan gets to own an entire team. Next time an owner dies or someone gets ousted, this one's going up to a raffle. That would be fun. Imagine the... Because they could do it probably if they did a lottery. How much money do you think a lottery would raise if what you got was an NFL team? It'd be billions. Probably more than the value of the actual team. Is this not the best idea ever that you then get billions...

Billions of dollars for the actual, so the sale actually happens. So you sell the team to the lottery. To the lottery. Yeah. And then one random fan will end up being an NFL owner. Or the first one that gets picked in the lottery gets stoned to death by the opponent's fans. I also like that. And the second person to win gets the team. Oh, yeah.

Imagine winning an NFL team. Or you pick two people and they have to fight to the death for the team. Oh, I kind of like that too. I like that as well. Then the fans of that team will instantly be like, he fought for us. What if the team that wins the next Super Bowl, they split all the shares of that team, that brand new team? Yeah. What if it's instead of fight to the death, the two fans have to start a quarterback for their team during the preseason? It's who can last the longest. I like that too.

That would make preseason fun. Who can survive the longest? Yeah, who can basically just keep going out there? That's not a bad idea either. Man, I think we just solved the NFL's viewership crisis. Yeah, we're in trouble. We've been in trouble. This year, I think the NFL's back. It's too bad. If we had this idea for the NBA, Adam Silver, we'd just have to post it under, you know, like respond to one of his tweets, and he'd probably be like, this is a great idea. Okay, if the NFL...

fan winning lottery idea was it has to be a fan who is delinquent more than uh fifty thousand dollars on child support yeah well that's part of it too is that when you go by the lottery you get arrested you get arrested yeah yeah but i and if roger think about it maybe it's an expansion team

Do you think we're going to get an expansion? I would hope not. 32 is a great number. It's a good number. It's always weird when you have the offset leagues where they're not the same amount. I don't know. What's the next team? Everyone keeps talking about San Antonio. Now that Las Vegas is Las Vegas, that was the one boogeyman that every owner could point to and be like, we'll just move to Las Vegas. Well, it was LA too. Double LA. Yeah. Now San Antonio is probably the next one out there.

I feel like they're also just throw out a third team in New York. Or Chicago. There's been talks every now and then about that. Imagine if the second team in Chicago was just awesome. Yeah, they're really good. That's exactly what happened. I've always said give Pittsburgh a second team. It's a football town. Yeah, absolutely. Youngstown. Yeah, give it one in Alaska.

I don't hate it. Hawaii would be fun. Yeah, Hawaii would be great. That's what they're going to do. They're going to give one to London and Mexico. Yeah, that's true. That's exactly what they're going to do. And Brazil. So private equity. So private equity, they're going to be allowed to invest in the NFL. So what does that mean? It means it's going to suck. The league is going to get 10% worse.

Why? Because private equity, they're going to come in and they're just going to try to figure out how. Oh, yeah. Streamline it. Only streamline everything. Got it. They're going to fire all the mascots. You're done. That makes sense. Okay. Anything else going on in the sports world before we do our Hotsy Coulterone and Mount Rushmore? By the way, we have a big college football preview coming on Friday with Brandon Walker. So it'll be fun. And.

and we're going to have more football previews, NFL preview coming next week. We're going to do Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday shows. Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday shows. That's what we do. We work extra hard that week. Oh, Kadarius Toney has been cut. Oh, no. The Chiefs just became Super Bowl champs. Yeah, well, this is also very bad news for anybody that's playing against the Chiefs because Kadarius Toney was one of your better players if you were playing against the Chiefs last year. Yeah. Just by him no longer being on the Chiefs,

What was his war? It was probably like minus two last year. Yeah, no, it was, I mean, that opening game, the Lions game, that was a, he lost at least two full games. He lost two full games. Yeah, two full games. As wide receiver, which is very hard to do. Do we think that we don't give enough, not credit, because it's not credit yet, but the storyline that the Chiefs could make history this year, have we not talked about it enough? What do you mean? No team's ever won three in a row.

I mean, I think the Chiefs are...

We'd be glazing pretty hard. I understand, but I'm just saying no team has ever won three in a row. If they win three in a row, that's going to be... It feels like one of those records that probably will never be touched just because it is so hard to win one Super Bowl, let alone two, let alone three. I honestly forgot that the Steelers never did it. Nope. Cowboys didn't do it. Steelers didn't do it. Patriots didn't do it. There was always that one little year and the Cowboys and the Patriots, and I believe the Steelers as well, won three out of four.

but three in a row is really fucking hard to do, are we not talking about it? We should talk about it more. We should probably talk about it a little bit more. I like the Chiefs over this year. Yeah. Who was the closest? I mean, the Cowboys in 94, did they lose in the NFC Championship game to the 49ers, I believe? That sounds right. That would probably be the closest, but I'm sure there was a... I mean, the Pats lost to the Eagles, but if they had won that...

No, that wasn't for three. Oh, I guess I was. That would have been two. Yeah, you're right. No, that was a very close game. You're absolutely right. Pittsburgh did not go three out of four. I'm actually wrong. They went four out of six. Okay. So they had two years in between.

Miami also had two in a row and a chance for the third. I don't know where they finished back way, way back in the day. But yeah, three in a row would be pretty crazy. That'd be cool. We'd have to be like the Chiefs are bad for the NFL. Three-peat. Also, kind of the way you could also talk about it is there's 0% chance.

Because it's never happened before. Because it's never happened, and if you know anything about gambling or life, if something's never happened, it will never happen. Yeah. That's where I go. So what are their Super Bowl odds right now? I think they're 5-1. 5 or 6-1 on DraftKings. I might ride. Yeah? I might ride. You going to get in on it? I might get in hard on that, yeah. But that's also one of those ones that...

Remember last year, they went from odds on favorites to then 10-1. Time it out. Let them lose a couple games. Yeah, I think the Chiefs are definitely 5-1 on DraftKings right now. The Chiefs are definitely in that mode of the Tom Brady Patriots where it just doesn't matter until... Kelsey could suck.

And then he's like, all right, I'm going to play now because of the playoffs. I'll tell you what I'm thinking about betting on is Lamar Jackson to win MVP because I think he's like 16-1 right now. Oh, back-to-back MVP. Yeah, it seems like just purely from Nod's standpoint, it seems like a good bet. How weird. I watched the Steve McNair doc last night. Have you guys seen it? I've not seen that. It wasn't great. It was kind of weirdly done because there's – I didn't realize this, but there's a lot of –

conspiracy theories or just murkiness around his death. Yeah. They didn't touch on it till the last five minutes. It's just about his life. It was about his life, but it was also Jeff Fisher was great. Uh, it just jumped around a lot and it just felt like at the end they told us, Oh, Hey, we actually don't know if this is actually how it went down. Okay. Documentary over. So, but I was thinking about it. It's so crazy. They gave out two MVPs that year.

It is wild. In 03, Peyton and Steve McNair both won MVP. I feel like that'll never happen again. So weird. That's not MVP. Steve McNair was awesome, though. He was. He was such a fucking tank. So, yeah, I mean, it sounds like maybe they made that documentary and they had something they wanted to put at the end. And then for legal reasons, they cut it. And like, I guess we can't get into this. I don't know. It was the rare documentary where...

It was only one episode, 58 minutes. And I was like, this could have been a two-episoder. Because usually with documentaries now, they just stretch them for way too long. This one was the reverse. It was like, do an entire first episode about Steve McNair and coming up and his story. Finishing third in the Heisman voting at Alcorn State was insane. Do that whole thing. Then do the football. Then do the death. Three episodes. I'm good with it. Yeah, he was a monster. I'm looking at the MVPs right now. Lamar is 18-1 to win MVP. Yeah.

So I think I'm hitting that right now. Right now. 18-1. Same odds as Dak. I'll tap that with you. They might know something about his ass. Maybe they know what's been plaguing his ass. You know who I like for MVP? I like Jalen Hurts 14-1. That's pretty good. 14-1? Yeah, I like that a lot. Eagles MVP? 14-1 for MVP of the Philadelphia Eagles.

I also don't hate, you know what, another one out there? I don't hate Matt Stafford 30-1 because it feels like he's due for the everyone, you know, just picture yourself. Actually, well, maybe not the first week because they're playing the Lions and that's too early. But picture early October PFT. Let me look at the schedule. I'm going to give you the Matt Stafford visualization right now of how this can happen. It is we're going to go to...

Hold on. I'm going to pull it up. We're going to go to, let's say, early to mid-October. You turn on your TV. It is Rams versus Vikings. So Vikings are not great. Rams, you know what? Actually, let's go in November. It is Rams-Dolphins. Two explosive offenses. Monday night football. Joe Buck comes in with his big-ass head and his terrible hair plugs. Where's the game?

The game is in L.A. Okay. I love L.A. Randy Newman. We love it. So that's the intro. And they're like, Matt Stafford, who's having a sensational year, takes the field with the Rams, and did you know he's never even received a vote for the MVP? I don't know if that's actually a fact. I'm just saying it. Troy, I can't imagine that trend would continue after this season. You're right, partner. And the upstart Rams, who last year...

Put it together to get into the playoffs are an insane 7-1 to start the season, and Matt Stafford is playing MVP football, and this guy is a gamer. I like it. 30-1. When you watch that game, it's going to be 5-1. My only disagreement is in that matchup, it's definitely going to be a lot of talk about Sean McVay and Mike McDaniel being from the same coaching tree. That's how they're going to start it out. But then right after that, they'll say, can you believe this guy's never got an MVP? Let me see if that's actually correct.

But I think this might be a narrative year with Matthew Stafford where it's like, you know, one of those, hey, do we appreciate him enough? I do think the Rams are going to have a really good offense this year. Do we appreciate him enough? That kind of stuff? He won Comeback Player of the Year. Is that CPOY? No. Yep. Is that? Yep. Why did he win Comeback Player of the Year? I think he came back from being on the Lions. That's weird. He played the whole year.

He played the whole year before. Sometimes if you just stink for a year and then you come back and you play good, they're like, okay, yeah. Like Joe Flacco. Yeah, I guess so. Joe Flacco came back from being on the Jets. Yeah, I guess, yeah, they were 4-12 and then went 10-6 and he won Comeback Player of the Year. Yeah. He did receive at least one vote for MVP, but it was four votes in his rookie year.

Yeah, no, sorry, not his rookie year. That was last year. He received four votes. So we'll just pretend that the four votes didn't happen. Okay, what if at that game... He's never finished higher than eighth in MVP voting. Can you believe that? You know how they always zoom in on the player's parents or a close friend of theirs or their wife that's in the stands? The camera does a slow zoom in on Jake Felt.

You know, this guy played high school football with Matt Stafford. Yeah. This guy was actually better than Matthew Stafford, who's the MVP of this season. Five touchdowns. Visualizations are fun. It is fun. Very fun. Right now, what that was was an exercise in teleporting into the future. Also, visualization for that game, over-under was 52. I hammered the over. Final score, 20-13. I just took that. I took Stafford. Stafford? The visualization worked. Yeah. It's narratives. It's narratives.

It's narrative. Yeah, I don't know. It seemed too good for 30-1. Right. Especially they win primetime game on Sunday night to start. They're playing at the Lions. He's got some big games. Think about this with Lamar. Lamar at 18-1. You know that you're at least going to be in the conversation. That's a fact.

Also, Stafford has a bunch of primetime games. They play the Dolphins on November 11th, and then they play the 49ers. It says 7-15, so I assume that's an ESPN game, maybe a Thursday night game. It is a Thursday night game against the 49ers. Yeah, he's got some. And the Eagles, they play the Eagles Sunday night football, November 24th.

Narratives. Narratives. Narratives. We also have the NFL deciding not to use the electric measuring system instead of the chain gang. Thank God. Which is good because we like the chain gang. Yeah. Listen, we're very dumb, but sometimes the way that we watch football is very smart in that we can tell you, oh, I like this. This is fun versus no, that's too much technology. Yeah. And the chain gang is a part of football. I like having old guys who are 75 years old. They're wearing that white hat that doesn't fit them correctly. The giant black vest...

with the X marker on it. I like that guy waddling out onto the field and holding up a chain next to a football. Stretching it out. Yeah, to determine. And also, again, it goes back to if you're rooting for either team in that situation, that's another win that you get during that game. When the chain's on your side, that's a bonus play that you get to cheer for. That's huge.

We did it. We were the ones who said that we were going to fight for it, and boy, did we fight. We fought. We fought hard. We talked about it on a podcast one time. Yeah, and forgot about it until this very moment. Okay, let's do Hot Seat, Cool Throne. Then we have Mount Rushmore of Everything and an awesome interview with Jerry O'Connell.

Hot Seat Cool Throne is presented by Coors Light. Fans of even the biggest rivals agree on one thing, the mountain cold refreshment of Coors Light. When rivalries start to heat up this season, choose chill and reach for a Coors Light to keep things cool. Rivalry getting a little overheated, choose chill with Coors Light. When you're looking to keep it chill, there's only one beer to choose, Coors Light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. So you know when your mountain cold refreshment is ready for you to choose chill. When things heat up, choose chill and then open up a Coors Light Refreshment.

Even the biggest rivalries agree. When it's time to cool things down and enjoy the game, you choose chill and then reach for Coors Light. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Instacart or GoPuff by going to CoorsLight.com slash take. Celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Coors Light is the most delicious beer, the coldest beer out there. Thank you to Coors Light. Hank. I'll see you at Boeing.

Boeing? Boeing. Why? Boeing? Another Boeing explodes. What? During maintenance at an Atlanta airport killing two Delta employees. Another? Another Boeing? Another Boeing exploded. What the fuck is going on? Did that plane have information relating to the arrest of Hillary Clinton? I don't know, but I feel like they should be on a hotter seat. I think it's like... Agreed. I wish I knew if I was flying on a Boeing or not. I think you can't tell. How? You absolutely can't tell. You can look at your app. Look it up.

I'll tell you right away. But what are you going to do? You're going to change to a different, like everything's a Boeing. Yeah. It should be on a hotter seat. So I'm putting him on the hot seat. I'd agree with that. Allegedly, but don't kill me. Yeah, Hank is very happy, not suicidal. Oh, it looks like the tire exploded. Shit. Well, that's two people dying. That's terrible. So Hank is just pointing something out, but again, he's not suicidal. Not suicidal. I love my life.

Do you? Everyone listening to this podcast says that. Yeah. Hank's a happy-go-lucky guy. Yeah. I am in my own personal mind. You're not trying to take that ultimate vacation, Hank? No, not yet. Although summer is over. But we got next summer coming up. So is next summer. You're already looking ahead?

I'll be honest. I'm looking at Christmas. I'll throw one thing out there. I am already looking ahead to chill week next year. That was like one of the best things we've done. Camp week was great too. Two editions of good vibes weeks. Yeah. All the haters out there that say that all Hank does is complain, complain, complain, complain. Hank, you're demure. You know that?

Oh, are you demure? I think Hank is the most... I saw that. I saw that TikTok trend. He's the most demure person on this podcast. Define demure. What's the other word she uses? Language of origin? TikTok. TikTok. What does it mean? It means demure. Demure. I learned about Taiwan yesterday. Demure today. What is it? What's the definition? If you have to ask, you might not be... I'm going to just guess off the top of my head. Can you use it in a second? Reserved, modest, and shy, typically used of a woman. It means unbothered.

You are demure. You're a chick. You choose classy over trashy. That's facts. And isn't the lady's name LeBron? Isn't she the one that's making it famous? I believe so. Yeah, Hank and LeBron have a lot in common. Very demure. What is it? What's the original video? I honestly hate that word. Why? Whoa. I never understood what it meant, and every time people use it, I just hate it. You never were like, hey, I can just look this up real quick?

No, but it's like... You get angry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hank gets angry at words. Don't use words I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not it. It's just the trendy... When people just hop on... I mean, I guess I am maybe just a hater, but it's like... What other words do you hate? That's such a weird word to be like, I hate you. No, but it's like the Costco... No, but it just becomes all of a sudden...

This word goes viral on TikTok, and then every single team, every single person, every single brand account. Yeah, that's how internet trends work. I know, but I judge the people that just follow them and just use it without... Sometimes when it's funny, it's funny. But if you're just like, all right, everyone's using Demir, I'm going to use Demir. I agree with what you're saying in that when everyone latches onto a word...

And it just becomes like you have a word that you've never you'd never see. And then you see it every single second for like a week straight. That's annoying. But do you specifically not like the word demure? No, just just the usage of it. Yeah. Just the people that are using it. I thought you were triggered by just the word. No, no, no. You know that something's up when you've never heard a word. And then all of a sudden you hear it three times in the same day. Yeah. And like this is the world conspiring against me with this word.

And obviously this has happened over the last five years, but every brand and team account has gone super cute, and it's like they just are the first ones to hop on and kill it instantly. Very cutesy, very mindful, very demure. Oh, that's the TikTok. And you actually kind of... Wait. I crushed it. What kind of look? Do the amigliata. Uh...

What's your drink of choice? What is that? Spagliato. There's so many things that happen. I mean, that one is old. I just said it the angry way. Wait, what's the last one? Ooh, study. See, like, there's so many things that happen in our day-to-day lives now that are objectively not funny. Correct. But because you've all seen the same video, it's funny. Yeah.

And it's also what it's become is it's just funny. If it's funny for like one single second, then everyone's like, well, this will be funny for the next thousand seconds. That's basically what you're talking about. Who do you think is, we should do an anonymous poll. Anonymous part of my take poll. Who is the most demure quarterback in the NFL? Reserved, modest, and shy. Typically used of a woman. Deshaun Watson? Reserved, modest, and shy. Justin Herbert. Yeah. I think he's the most demure.

Dak Jalen Hurts No Jalen Hurts is demure as fuck Shut the fuck up No he's not Yes he is No he's not He's not He's not demure at all He's got a fucking ass That he flaunts everywhere Brock Purdy He's literally just existing With that ass Well What'd that ass do? Alright Boeing? My cool dude's pop punk Okay Thank you Back Back on tour This weekend

Oasis? I think we might have to break it Hell yes You have to Me and Roan will just scream at each other In Liverpudlian accents Yes Throw bottles and shit Manchester

Oh, they're not from Liverpool? I'm pretty sure you'll... I'm pretty sure you're going to get fought over what you just said. Okay, what part of London... I think you're about to get beat the fuck up. What part of London is Manchester in? Because I know that Liverpool is West London. I think it's South London. Okay, South London, Manchester. Okay, my mistake. I just know... I didn't know my London neighborhood. Yeah, they're from Manchester. PFT, oh my God. Okay, I didn't know my London neighborhood. They're going to get... Apologize. Because Liverpool is like...

That's where the Beatles are from. Well, that's also... Liverpool is one of the places in the UK that I feel like it's like someone from Texas. Yeah, they're like, fuck you. I'm not from England. I'm from Liverpool. Yeah, if someone was from Texas and you're like, oh yeah, they're just a Yankee. Yeah, Patty the Batty. New York, yeah. Yeah, that type of vibe. My mistake. So yeah, Manchester accents. But yeah, it'll be fun. DC Friday.

Philly Saturday night tickets on sale. Pup punk rocks. R a w x.com. Love it. And maybe some, uh, maybe some guest appearances after parties after party at Barstool Sansom in Philly. Awesome bar. Yeah. Should be good. Max will be in Philly, but he will not be at the show. He's moving. He's moving. He's moving. I have a wedding. I have a wedding. I know, but in case people connect any dots and see Max's in Philly, he will not be at the show because he doesn't care about you. That's not true. That's not true. Hank, are you going?

No. Would you just ask for the after parties? I was just curious if there would be one. Would you like to go, Hank? Where is it? Philly. Where is the after party? The people in Philly go nuts for Hank. Oh, my God. They love you in Philly. DC and Philly. I do love the Barstool Bar in Sansom Street. Yeah. It's a great bar. Okay, PFT, your hot seat. Cool turn. My hot seat is John Cena.

He's on the hot seat big time. Retirement tour, John Cena. I don't know if you saw the recent bombshell report that came out in Rolling Stone today. Uh-oh. But apparently John Cena follows multiple white supremacist Twitter accounts. Oh, no.

Now, the person that wrote this, I don't know if they saw that John Cena follows everybody on Twitter. Yeah, he follows 700,000 people. I also think you could have found something even more weird or damaging than white supremacist Twitter accounts. Okay. Because there's a bunch of those. Follows me. I don't even follow them. Oh, really? That's a power move. Also, 857,000 people. Is this person going to next tell us that Joey Batista...

Follow some white supremacists? Taye Diggs, probably known white supremacist. Yeah. Now, just saying that out loud made me realize John Cena's account should be locked, shouldn't it? Why? Because you can't see him. Oh.

Oh yeah true You can't see any of his activity I can't believe that someone actually wrote this story And didn't point out the fact that they just follow every single person They might have I didn't read the entire story I just saw the first part of it And they listed the accounts that he followed But yeah he follows 800 He follows like half of Twitter Didn't we ask him about that and he said It's a blessing to be able to see so many different people's perspectives

I just assume whenever someone does that, they just don't run their own account. Like, I don't think he's ever probably logged into his account. Yeah, that's probably someone else is running it, following everyone. Yeah. Somebody else dig through John Cena's Twitter followers and just see how bad you can make it for him. All right. So X hate speech is so common that celebs like John Cena follow white nationalists. Hmm. This is I mean, they have to mention it, right? Oh, I'm not paying for this article. Never mind. Oh, wait.

They have to mention it. I'm sure they do. Okay. Either way, John Cena hot seat. Oh, yeah. They do mention it. Cena follows tons of users on the site, more than 850,000 at this point. What is his timeline? It looks insane. Somebody should do one of those accounts that updates you on who he's following and who he's unfollowing. Yeah. Because I want to know who he adds. I actually just want to know how bad you have to be at Twitter for John Cena to unfollow you.

Yeah. I don't think he's ever unfollowed. What would stand out enough where John Cena's like, no, not my company. I'll take the 860,000 other people I follow. What was the chick's name that Kyle Kuzma followed? Shit, I unfollowed her. It was... Today's? No, it was not Today's. I still follow AJ Today's.

For research. It was... Did she have a kid? Shit. AJ? Yeah, she did. Wow, congrats. To her. Kyle Kuzma follows... Oh, man, it was so funny. It was one of those ones that you just can't follow just based on the username. Some of the usernames you can get away with because you just can get a little, oh, what do they do? Who knows? Who knows?

All right, we'll figure it out. Keep going. Your cool throne. My cool throne is... Hang on, I just got an alert. Oh, here it is. Yep. Ms. Thick Overlord. Ms. Thick Overload. Overload. Ms. Thick Overload. Thick Overload E-N-T. So she's ear, nose, and throat. I think we knew the last part of that. Oh, I love it. I love it. My cool throne is...

Going to be Angel Hernandez Oh what happened Because he's not statistically the worst Major League Baseball umpire ever Who would that be That honor goes to Scott Berry

He was behind home plate in the last innings of the Cubs-Pirates game yesterday. Cubs might be back. Cubs are beating them, what, 14 to 5? 18. 18 to 5, 18 to 6, they were up. Kind of used up all their runs. So a position player from the Pirates got into pitch, as you do sometimes blow, it's like these, and there was a pitch that was 15 inches out of the strike zone that was called a strike.

Because he kind of lobbed it in. Also, I'm not going to blame him. You just want to get out of there. You want to get the fuck out of there at that point. But it would also suck if you were up to bat and you know that your contract is parsed based on every single statistical measurement that you can make. Correct. And so every strike or strikeout or if you get into a bad count unnecessarily, that probably pisses you off too. But I do stand...

with Scott Berry in this instance just because just call everything a strike. Right. It should be like, okay, no matter what you can, if you're a batter, you should have the ability to take an intentional strikeout. Right. Just like you have the ability to intentionally walk someone. Yes. Agreed. By the way, Nathan Peterman just got cut. None of these really make sense though because they all end up getting back on the team. You know what I mean? Like Nathan Peterman is going to be just a, he's going to be practice squad. Is he not?

Is he eligible? I don't know. He's been in the league for a long time. Oh, you can't be? I don't know what the rules behind that are. I think if you have like five or six years. Okay, my hot seats, I have two. One is dolphins. The animal? Yes. There's a report out of Tokyo that they found and trapped a sexually frustrated dolphin that had allegedly...

raped over 200 people no 45 people over 200 miles sexually frustrated is one way to put it yeah i think he would be sexually satisfied at that point this dolphin uh went on a multi-year rampage sexually assaulting beachgoers about 200 miles west of tokyo dolphin would will reportedly bite people and rub its genitals on them if they get close teabagging he's just been teabagging yeah is that is that really i don't know it seems like just boys being boys it does

Peyton Manning won co-MVP after doing something like this in college. Correct. Yes, that is true. People don't talk about that. My other hot seat is Will Compton memorabilia. So I'm in the business now. We're going to create a museum for Will Compton, our good friend, in the handicapped stall of the back bathroom in the Barstow Chicago office. I've already procured one of his old jerseys. But if you have any Will Compton memorabilia, I am buying. I want his teeth.

I would love his teeth. I will pay top dollar for Will Compton's old teeth. Anything Will Compton related, we want to put up in the museum, which again, will be in the handicapped stall of the back bathroom of the Chicago office. When you get those veneers put in, they take out all your teeth, right? I don't know. I think they shave them down. Are they shaved? I don't understand how it works, but they do shave them. It's your real teeth, because I've also wondered that. I think they shave them down.

I think they shave them down and then they put the veneers in front. If somebody can do a... Like, you know, you go to the dentist and you do the plaster and they give you the mouth like... Yes, Will Compton's dentist, please hit us up. Will Compton's dentist, please hit us up because we'd like to buy a plaster mold of his old teeth. I want to just... Pre-cap. I want to have one of the greatest museums we've ever put up. I think it would be the greatest. We'll sell tickets. The only. Yeah, the only museum. That we've ever put up. Yes, that's true. Give tours? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah, gift shop? Yeah. I like it. Tours while someone's shitting. That's extra. One of those audio pieces that you can put in? We can just release a podcast, actually. If all three... Black Friday, we'll do a personalized tour while Will's shitting. I like that, yeah. And we can record it, and then that way, anybody that ever goes into that bathroom in the future, they can just play that episode of the podcast, and it's like you're getting the tour with Will Compton. Yeah. If all three stalls are available in that bathroom...

Go to Wilcompton Museum every time. No, but before the museum existed. Are you going for the handicap? Yeah, usually. In this office, yes. I've just wondered that. I usually do too. I think the correct move. I've wondered because I've thought, I've realized that most people probably do that. The correct move if you're going for least trafficked is definitely the middle.

I think the middle always gets the least amount of traffic. Yeah, I don't care about the traffic as much. I just care about the luxury. Space. Yeah, you feel like you're in a penthouse. And now you're going to get to be in a museum. Yeah. Who gets to shit in a museum? Us. That's us. My cool throne is us, podcasters, because Jason Kelsey and Travis Kelsey signed a $100 million deal. Love that. Good for them.

How does that put us on the cool throw? That means the market has changed, bitch. Value goes up. I think that means we just get another Bored Ape in our paycheck next week. Yeah, we can drive a hard line in the negotiation process. We should allow private equity to be able to invest in part of my take. Saudis. I'd like to see the guaranteed money on that. I would as well. I'd also like to see if there's any notes on who has to be dated.

There's an escape clause in there? Hank, you have to start dating Rihanna. Come on, dude. How's the J-Lo thing going? Did she get back to you? No, I don't think so. Dude, I want to get the hundred million. All right, listen. We have a lot of famous women that listen to our podcast. Please reach out to us, and we'll do a dating show for Hank. But it's strictly based on who the most famous person is. A million followers or more. Yeah. Actually, that would be a great series. Yes, it would.

Hank? I'm down for that. Would you be intimidated dating somebody that was way more famous and rich than you? No. Fuck no. That'd be great. They're richer? Amy Schumer. Why not? She's famous. I'm just going to throw this out here, Hank. Not political. AOC, yes. We know that you love AOCs. Would you date any singer? Any famous singer? Probably. Chapel Roan.

Sure. Liz. Talented. Sure. Nice. I don't think Chapel would be into you. Adele, who's getting married to- I love Adele. You're not her dad? Love Adele. That's Chet Hayes' territory. Gwen Stefani. Yes. Bangers. I feel like she has kids. She probably has kids that are my age. Sexy Red. She might be too much of a thought for me. Billy Strings. But I mean, Hank, think about it. Billy Strings. He's married.

But what if he said, you know what? This isn't working out for me. Hank, you're the one for me. Probably not. I'd go on a man date with him. Okay. Okay. Who's your new guy? Didn't you find a new musician? Oasis. Oasis, yeah. This dude, this dude, crazy new man. You guys are like, you can have multiple musicians that you like. Would you date both of the Gallagher brothers at the same time? I'm a Liam guy. Are you? But he's not someone you'd date. That's just like a fling. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

There's a very funny video that I saw yesterday of him talking to like a fourth grade class. Oh yeah, so good. And they were like, okay, you have any questions for Liam? And one kid was like, yeah, do you get, what does he say? Do you get treats after? Yeah, you get treats after you do a good concert. And he's like, sort of. Yeah, of sorts. Sweets. Yeah, sweets. Yeah. Okay, Huey, your hot seat, cool drone. Yeah, my hot seat. Yeah.

The Detroit Tigers. Okay. Particularly Javi Baez. Oh, my guy. So Javi Baez will be out for the rest of the season this year with a right hip surgery. That doesn't sound good. No. And this completes his third year out of a six-year contract with the Tigers. In three years with the Tigers, he's...

He's ranked as the second worst hitter in baseball among 285 players who stepped up to the plate at least 250 times. And in three years, he has a total of 36 home runs. And he has three years left on that contract, right around $75 million. Still has to be paid to him.

And it's just a bad contract all around, another reminder of how bad it's been. And we're not out of the storm yet. We still have to deal with that big money. Is that a win for the Cubs? Yeah, oh, yeah. So the Cubs essentially, they can sleep at night knowing that they got rid of all their other good players because they're like, at least we didn't keep this one guy. Yeah. Yeah. And Pete Crow Armstrong, not exactly a hitter, but he did have an inside-the-park home run. Did it in 14 seconds the other night. It was pretty fucking fast. Yeah.

Pretty cool. Yeah. But Cool Throne, Reese's, particularly Angel Reese. Oh, okay. The new sponsor. You love WMH. Nice. That was good. The new sponsor of Reese's. They've dropped a collection of merch, jerseys, the whole nine. Yeah. I'm sure some candy is going to be around the corner. Maybe a basketball-shaped Reese's coming, potentially. Big things coming. It tastes like sour grapes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. She also, speaking of Angel Reese, we might be... She's also on the cool throne, but we might be on the hot throne. She has a podcast. Yeah, she does have a podcast. She does? Unapologetically Angel. Yeah, unapologetically... She's dropping tea. What if you... No, I think she says she's clocking tea. Clocking tea. She's clocking tea because...

This is a problem in the podcast space. A lot of people with the blogs think that they clock the tea, but if you clock your own tea before they clock your tea, then they don't actually have the real tea because you've already clocked it yourself. Got it. Clocking tea. Would you date Angel Reese? Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Chai Barbie. Yeah. Huey would be so upset. I'd be supportive. I'd be supportive. That would be a power couple.

That would be a power couple. Yeah. Hank, you got to start thinking how your kids could get it. We got to we got to milk you. The tagline for her. I want to I want to milk you for everything. Milk you.

Yeah, what's your tagline? What they gonna say now? Oh, nice. I like that. That's a Jason Tatum quote, right? Wait, what? That's a Jason Tatum quote. No, Steph Curry. No, Jason Tatum. He invented that. You're not going to respond. Okay, he's not taking the bait. That was smart of him. Point Hank. Okay, good job, Huey. Let's get to our Mount Rushmore. We have the Mount Rushmore of everything. It's brought to you by our friends at GameTime.com.

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Okay, let's do our Mount Rushmore of everything. Okay, Mount Rushmore time. Our good friend Jerry O'Connell is coming up. He is in the booth, though, for this Mount Rushmore, so he can talk at any point, chime in if he needs to. His best friend Huey. He's not talking right now. Jerry, just talk so people know. Your fantasy preview is coming up in a second. Hibbity dibbity. Okay, so there's Jerry. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of everything.

Mount Rushmore of everything. Now, Hank. Yes. You run the risk of officially losing. Yeah, I think it's over. If you lose this Mount Rushmore, you are now down four points to PFT. I think PFT comes in second in either of the next two. It's over. Yes. Yeah. I have to avoid last place like the plague. Was there any issues with how last Mount Rushmore was voted on?

No issues. PFT had a good, very basic looking draft. He did a good job. Was there any issue with the phrasing of Meme's tweet?

No, I mean, memes brought it up to my attention. He was like, oh, I realize I, you know, I usually do every single Mount Rushmore we've ever done in the history of this podcast has been prefaced with who won today's Mount Rushmore yesterday. Memes and accidents happen. He's a busy guy. He's got a lot of stuff going on. He just phrased it. What got left off the list with the poll? And I don't believe this, but some people online.

The few, the proud, the Hank fans. Very few. They brought to my attention that

based off of the wording of the tweet people might have been voting off who's got like who had the worst list oh i don't necessarily think that i don't either i don't either yeah so either at first when memes brought it up i was like maybe there's something to this maybe maybe memes is right but then hank was adamant about it not affecting the result of the poll so i'm gonna go with what hank says yeah good guy hank so friday you might be depending on how this goes you might be picking out of a hat yeah i'm assuming that's gonna happen okay this is pft's pick uh

So I'm sure he's got a good draft. What? You've wanted to do Mount Rushmore of everything. No, we talked about this in the group chat like a couple weeks ago. Yeah, I don't think... Into the season, we're going to do the Mount Rushmore of everything. But yesterday, we had the conversation... Well, this could be the last Mount Rushmore of the season. Could be the Mount Rushmore of everything. But why... Yeah. Are you saying you didn't... We didn't have a conversation yesterday where you said, what about Mount Rushmore of everything? Well, that was one of the ones that we had said we would do the last week. Right. But...

You brought it up. In fact, a fiction, this is the last week. We had the choice. I don't think I suggested it. But it was on camera. We'll see. We'll look at the tape. Okay. I think what's important is that Hank's sportsmanship is so good this year. Yeah. I said you should pick what we do tomorrow, and you said everything. I don't know why you're in denial. The Mount Rushmore of everything. That's kind of weird. Well, the good news is, Hank, you have the first pick. I do. And that's huge in this. It is huge. Huge.

So Mount Rushmore of everything. Hank trying to stay alive. What is your first pick? I am going to go with having sex. Okay. Okay. You're learning. I thought for sure he was going to take boobs. I was like, boobs are still on the table, right? Yeah. Boobs are on the table. Yeah. Of course. Okay. Good pick. Good pick. Hank having sex. I'll take boobs. Okay. I'll take boobs. That's a good second pick.

Good second pick, Max. Great pick. So I'm up third, huh? You're up third. You know what? I'm just going to say football. Okay. Football is my... Football is my 1-1. Yeah, it's my first pick. Yeah. No, that's a great one. That's a great one. It sounds like you guys are pandering a little bit with yours, but that's okay. Yeah. All right. So I have two picks. If you had to choose one for the rest of your life, you'd choose football? Football. Yeah. Absolutely. I'm not having any more kids. I'd take football. Easy. Easy. Okay. Okay.

I'll go with music, music, need music, and personal pick, ice cream. Interesting. Music and ice cream. Music and ice cream. Music and ice cream. All right, my second pick, I'm going to go with beer. Okay. So I got football and beer. Yeah, I mean, I love ice cream, so I don't. I love beer. I would take ice cream over beer. For the rest of your life? I think I would take beer over ice cream. Yeah.

I'm also going to, I did zero prep for anything. Same. I don't have a single list of anything. Same, I'm not feeling good about music and ice cream. I'm going to go with movies. Oh, movies. What's your favorite movie of all time, Max? I'm going to either go with Kangaroo Jack, Stand By Me, Jerry Maguire, Scream, just any of those, really. Yeah, those are good picks. Hey, Jerry, for when I beat Hank in Mount Rushmore and he finished his last, can you just give us a quick, you guys want to see a dead body? No.

Were you mad that we didn't pick that line, Jerry, when we did the quotes? I just thought you missed an opportunity. You missed points on the board. You left points off the board. How did you say that phrase? How did you say that quote? Typically, I charge money on Cameo for this, but I'll give it to you guys for free. You guys want to go see a dead body? That's good. Chills. Wow.

Wow. It's Hank. It's a little more fucked up coming from a skinny Jerry O'Connell. It's better when it's husky. Hank, I think you're up. All right, I'm going to go with A Dog That Loves You. Okay.

And winning the lottery. Yeah. Winning the lottery. Winning the lottery. Don't like 90% of people that win the lottery get divorced, dead, or broke within like two years. Well, they got to do the right thing. Those two years. Don't take the lump sum. Or no, you do take the lump sum. Take the lump sum and stay anonymous. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you take the lump sum. You're saying you take the annuity where you get paid like every year for the next 50 years? A dollar tomorrow is not going to be a dollar next week. Yeah, you invest it. Thanks, Biden. You invest it. Okay. Winning the lottery. Winning the lottery and a dog that loves you. Okay, Max.

Fuck. You weren't going to take dogs. No, I just didn't think. I forgot that I was up. I'm going to go with meatballs. All right. I had as a fourth round grade, but that's okay. No, I had as a fourth round grade too, but I couldn't think of a third, so I just thought I would go with it now. Okay. Okay. I'm going to take living in the good old USA. Okay. Living in the United States. Let's go, America. Yep.

And? Oh, no, you have one pick. All right. I will go. So I have music and ice cream.

Let me just go, I'll just go drugs and gambling. My last two picks. Solid. Okay. Yeah. All right. What kind of drugs? Even it out. Any kind. All drugs. Drugs and gambling. Okay. Prilosec. Sure. Okay. Helps. Afrin. Afrin. Yeah. Actually, yeah. Afrin should be on this list. Yeah. I mean, you could do it the PG way. Like, hey, it would suck if we didn't have Tylenol and antibiotics and we would all be dead when we were like 12 years old from black lung. Yeah.

Or you could do the other way and be like, hey, weed's pretty nice. Yeah, it is. And other stuff. It is nice. So my pick? Yeah. I'm going to go with family. Oh, nice. Family. I feel like family is a strong one. Your family. If you don't have your family, Hank was lucky enough to be able to bring his dad in from Mount Rushmore earlier this week. That's the kind of thing that you've got to cherish. Mm-hmm. Family. It's true. All right, Max?

I'm going to go with part of my take. Oh, nice. Bit narcissistic. Wow. Okay. I should have gone with the other one. First podcast off the board. Hank is really thinking hard. There's a lot on there. There's one that you really love.

Vacation. There it is. You got to pick it. I was going to go. Is it done? No. Yeah, it's done. Draft over. Yeah. What were you going to pick? Well, PFT, we were talking about how PFT used to back in the day try and be funny because it's a comedy podcast and pick funny picks. Yeah. But he kind of stopped doing that and just...

Well, when we made a punishment and I started coming in last place because people don't like the outlier picks, then you got to adapt to the game, Hank. But we were just reminiscing on how old PFT used to be so funny. But I was thinking about it. I knew this was going to be the line of attack. Truth in comedy, dude. There's truth in comedy. Comedy is true. It's true.

But I was going to go with just warm clothes out of the dryer. Oh. But I was PFT. Vacation is a great thing. Now, Hank, real quick. That wouldn't happen to be the first thing that pops up when you Google what are the best things on earth, would it? That wouldn't happen to be the first thing on the first link that you click on. You needed help on the Mount Rushmore. I've been doing oppo research on Hank for the last six Mount Rushmore drafts, and Hank always goes with whatever that first list on Ranker.com is.

No. Yes, you live on that list. Mount Rushmore of everything is the easiest Mount Rushmore to do. Yeah, and I didn't use any of them. You typed in, what are the best things on Earth? And I didn't use any of them. Fact or fiction. But you wanted to use... No.

You wanted to use putting on clothes out of the dryer. Yeah. I thought about it. Things that got left off. Buffalo wings. Pizza. Steak. Melted cheese. Melted cheese. Money. Coffee. Coffee. Great one, Jerry. The F-15 Eagle. Yep. Video games. Yeah, I was going to say video games. And then I saw a part of my take, the logo, and I was like, I should just say that. Yeah. Oh, you know what's a big miss? Yeah, dingers are great. Big miss. Getting a good night's sleep. Yeah. Fuck. Sleep.

Sleep is a very good one. Fast car. Boats. Boats are cool. Yeah. Yeah, boats are okay. Cheese. Selling your boat is good. Yeah. Oh, he said melted cheese. Being on a boat is cool. Being on a boat is fun. Being on a boat is awesome. Nobody took vaginas. No. Blowjobs? I guess that's in sex. What else? Chicks. Fuck. Chicks got left off. Chicks. Chicks. Getting paid. Getting drunk. College. College.

No. Come on. There's a lot of work. Yeah, but not really. March Madness. Pretty good. Basketball. Pretty good. Football. Football clears, though. Football does clear. Golf. Definitely golf. Jerry, what else did we miss? I liked coffee. Being retired. PFT said vagina. That's a good one. Sugar walls. Yeah.

That's about it. Coffee and vagina. Coffee and vagina. You don't need anything else. That's it. French fries? Oh, fries are good. Fries are really good. What else? Burgers. Burgers. Soup. Soup would have been a tough pick, I think, on this one. Oh, getting out of a speeding ticket, some sort of traffic violation. Canceling plans. Oh, that's good. Hank, what was that little smirk for?

I'm going to look up on this list of this thing. Oh, man, he's going full AI. You picked some of the things on the list. No, I didn't. He did? No, I didn't. Family? Oh, shit. Family wasn't on the list. I'll be honest. I looked at the top thing on the list, and I saw it was putting unworn clothes out of the dryer. Family might be on the list, but family, I feel like that's fairly generic. That is pretty generic.

Interesting. No, I don't need a computer to do my list. So do we remember what's in the hat if we have to on Friday do the hat? It is. We're going to have to go back and look it up. The nine darter is not possible. We talked about it. You have one veto. Okay, so that's going to be the nine darter. It's Rufferati Ring Girl. And Calendar Shoot.

In calendar shoot. I don't know. Well, Rough and Rowdy Ring Girl and photo shoot while you're wearing the Rough and Rowdy Ring Girl outfit. It's winning a season of college football. On Heisman. I thought we agreed that everything should be a stream. Yeah, true. But the Rough and Rowdy is a stream. All right, what was LeBron's points? LeBron's points. But, like, this is where, I mean, it is. What? What? It is what it is. You haven't lost yet, Hank. It is what it is. What? Um...

We go through these things. We say, all right, we're going to pick a punishment. Everyone pick a punishment. Then we push it off. Then we push it off. Then we say, all right, everyone pick a punishment. Everyone picks a punishment. We say this is going in a hat. After they go in a hat, we then decide everything has to be a stream even though half the things in the hat aren't a stream. And so even though there's things in the hat which we all agreed upon, somehow it's going to have to be something that's a stream even though some of the things in the hat aren't a stream.

Most of the things are streams though The Ruff and Rowdy one is not But like You guys are gonna be like It has to be Ruff and Rowdy is a stream buddy Right But the calendar shoot like Well that's just behind That's for PMC The TikTok thing is not a stream So why don't Why don't we just Why don't we get it to just Three stream things Or four stream things

Okay, I know. I'm just saying it's just, it is, and I'm obviously lashing out because I have to do the punishment, but it's like we come to this agreement before the punishment, before the season starts for a reason, so then to then change it after the season's over. I feel like you were part of the conversation that said it should be a stream. But that was, but that still. But you were, but like before your moment right now, you were like, yeah, it should be a stream, but now that you lost, you're like. But why didn't we decide this before? Okay, so it's very simple. What other punishments are not streams?

TikTok one? I don't know. We got to go back and check. What do you think watching this live happened? What's going through your head? Hank, you want to call your daddy? You haven't even lost yet, Hank. Get a landline to daddy? No, I'm fine with whatever. I'm fine with whatever. The only one that I would veto is Nine Darter because literally no one could do that except for Michael Van Gerwen. Oh, Michael Van Gerwen. I think you can do it.

I think you could do it. If I have a veto, it's going to that. I think you could do it. We wouldn't do maybe the exact distance. If you were a little closer, you could probably do it. Would be an electric stream. You said I have a veto, right? Yeah, you do. Yeah. Okay. Good Mount Rushmore. How do you feel about your Mount Rushmore, Hank? I think it's over. I think, again, new PFT has figured it out. He's going to come in second. Yeah. Yeah.

No laughs, but good. It would be a shame if I actually come in first. I'm feast or famine. I'm like Adam Dunn. I either hit a dinger, get first place, or come in last place. It would be a shame if the AWLs made Friday's Mount Rushmore do or die.

You can't. You're skewing the vote. You're skewing the vote. It would be a shame. Election fraud. It would be a shame. I'm not involved. Stop the steal. Stop the shame. Max, do you agree with me? That would be a real shame. It would be such a shame. And hey, I'm willing to take away some of my points here. If I want to get penalized for this, I'll get penalized. I heard that you're shipping this podcast down to Central and South America and getting all these new voters in trying to weigh it for you guys.

I want them to vote. This is Democrat. This is Libcat. I want to vote the right way. I want everyone to vote the right way. It just stinks that the AWLs are going to get a less. Jerry, invite Big Cat to your next Kamala rally. One less Mount Rushmore. Yeah, one less Mount Rushmore. We won't do a Mount Rushmore Friday. No? I mean, if it's over, it's over. True. It'll be over. Good job, PFT. Congrats. Hank, you did great. Thanks. And we'll see what happens with the vote tomorrow. Yeah. I'm sure memes will get the cash in, right? It'll be fine. Yeah.

Okay, let's get to our interview with Jerry O'Connell.

We'll get back to Jerry O'Connell in a second. He's brought to you by the Farmer's Dog, our great friends over at the Farmer's Dog. The days are warmer. The walks are longer. One easy way to help your dog shine this season is with fresh, healthy food from the Farmer's Dog. The Farmer's Dog makes real, fresh dog food, delivers right to your door. Recipes are developed by vet nutritionists made from real meat, real veggies, portioned just for your dog, making it easy to say goodbye to burnt brown balls and feed your dog real dog food with real benefits.

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Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, I'm not done, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, what if the whole podcast was me just doing that and then I just said, all right, thanks for coming, very special guest.

Jerry O'Connell. Oh, man. Thank you so much. That's so kind of you. I can't believe I think I got three more varies than Caleb. Yeah, you did. I think that was the max amount of varies. I don't think I can go further than that. I speak on behalf of all AWLs. When you popped up on that show, I was by myself in a corporate apartment in

naked actually because i i didn't bring many clothes to me so i had to wash like my underwear i had to wash everything and then make sure i put it in the dryer so i had underwear the next day and i went fucking berserk fellas that was crazy yeah it's fun yeah that was very real that was unreal so jerry's here so funny this show has been like our little secret as awls and like

It's like big time. I was so proud of you guys. I had an overwhelming feeling of pride. And I got to tell you, as an actor, sometimes you see people moving up and you're like, oh man, why aren't I in Deadpool? I go to the gym and it's so different. With you guys, I had such... I almost cried. I appreciate it. It was very cool and it was very fun for our fans to see us in a show that we all love and have been watching for a very long time. So Jerry...

Fantasy football preview. We have to set the table though because Jerry is such a committed guest and part of this show that we text him. We're like, hey, fantasy football preview. We're going to do it the week before Labor Day. And he's like, great. I'll fly in anytime.

You flew in when? So tell us what the last 12 hours have been, because you have your briefcase. I think you went to Planet Fitness this morning. Yeah. So when did you fly in? Are we a Planet Fitness podcast? We can be now, yeah. We're a fitness podcast. Yeah, I have a membership to the old PF, and I can go to anyone really in the world. Universal. Yeah, I pay for the Universal one. And...

I just went there. I just did a little lift. You flew it. You took the red eye? I took the red eye in, yeah. So you landed at O'Hare at like 6 a.m. Yeah. Went to Planet Fitness. That's right. And then came here. Chest and thighs, chest and thighs. What's in your briefcase? So in my briefcase, this is like just stuff I bring because...

For those who don't know, for those who may be first seeing me here, and Huey, I should probably introduce myself. My name is Jerry. I'm sort of the fantasy expert here. I'm part of my team. I don't think he's in the booth right now. No, he's right there. Okay, I can't see him. Yeah, and I don't think it's sort of. You are. Well, yeah. Huey, do you have any clue who I am? Oh, there he is. There he is. He's tucked away. Yeah, I know who you are.

How would you describe Jerry O'Connell to somebody that's never watched TV before? Or movies? We've got headphones issues. Oh. What's yours?

He used to be an actor. No. Did you hear that, Jeremy? No, no, no. His big hits were in the past. Oh, no, no. He's married to a supermodel. Yep. Fact. One of the most beautiful ever. Thank you. And he lost some weight.

Okay, well, yeah. I mean, I didn't... You were fat. Well, I was a husky. First of all, I was husky. That's true. You were a husky child. I was a husky child, and I just grew, you know? But listen, by the way, I should also note that a lot of the people here on this podcast are in incredibly good shape. When I hugged a lot of you fellas this morning, I felt...

I felt firmness. Yeah. She and Big Cat are getting the best shape of our lives by the time we're 40. Because your body, when you're 40, that's your body for the rest of your life. Yeah. So wait, so Jerry, what is in the briefcase? So in the briefcase, I just bring, so I manage your fantasy league with the- The mic's still on in the booth. Yeah, guys, I know I used to be an actor, Huey, but you got to turn the mic off when I'm in here. Mm-hmm.

I can't believe he said I used to be an actor. He's on TV every day, Huey. Huey, I mean, you know, I mean, I listen to all the NBA hole podcasts before you come here. I'm a big fan. And you hit me with the he used to be an actor thing.

I was in Kangaroo Jack, motherfucker. That's right. Yeah. And his name's being tossed around for the next Marvel movie. That's true. That's not true. No, we just tossed it around. We just tossed it around. Hey, Jerry. I heard that Jerry is in consideration. Yeah. It's not true. I would require me to go to Planet Fitness a lot more. It would require me to get a private trainer at Planet Fitness. Yeah, you get some steroids like Hank. Yeah.

No steroids. So you got your briefcase here. I got my briefcase. I love the briefcase because you get on a plane, I assume first class? Do we do first class? No, exit row. Exit row. Okay, because you're a hero. You're a first responder in case something happens. I like that. No, I just, it's a red eye and-

I mean, I bought the ticket myself and the price to buy a first class ticket at last minute was just the price of a used automobile. So I just went exit row. Did you raw dog the flight? I actually took a couple of Tylenol PMs. Oh, bad boy. Yeah. Be careful with those. Well, you have to time them out perfectly. You have to wait till the flight is definitely leaving and it's going, you know, and you're boarding.

And then you just chew them and just get in your exit row, kick your shoes off, and then get ready for the fantasy podcast. Yeah. So you got your briefcase. And I love that you bring that briefcase on the plane because it looks very official. It looks very businesslike. Yeah. But what's in it? So, I mean, really what's in it? Like, I mean, I have my shorts that I wore at Planet Fitness this morning. I have a rough draft of what I'm going to say here today. And then I have the final draft. I also have some deodorant here that I put on.

Get some of this. Yeah. Please. Yeah. Let's do the belly as well. Did you, does your wife know you're not home right now? So listen, here's the deal. My wife knew I was coming to do this podcast. Okay. Now I have to talk to you guys cause I manage your fantasy team that is in the high roller league. Yes. Okay. So I know it costs a substantial amount of money and I've been managing it. I think this is my third year. Prayers for tomorrow. Yeah.

Those who don't remember, that's a callback to we were in the championship game when DeMar Hamlin went down. Say it. Press for DeMar. And we were trailing by, I think, five or six points. And the person who I was playing said, that's it. I'm champion. And I was not on the text chain. And we were talking about the negotiations that were going to happen later.

And the negotiation was they had Josh Allen as a quarterback and we had Joe Burrow. I think it might've been the other way around. We might've had Josh either way. We were going to win. I think we had, I think we had whoever scored first and was getting ready to light it. Okay. So then we did. Yeah. Yeah. Cause we had Joe Burrow and then the other person I was playing who I didn't know, but it's obviously some sort of celebrity and high roller because the buy-in is pretty significant. Um,

said i'm the champion and i was like no no you you gotta fight this like you gotta fight this like we need to complete an entire game so then it was decided that the following week we would play joe burrow and josh allen and the next week like joe burrow was playing i don't know whoever has a tough defense uh yeah we got screwed yeah but prepares for tomorrow right and we lost and um

Listen, I want to come here today because you were kind enough to put me on the text chain with all those celebrities. It's not going well. Tossed you in there. I think it's going pretty well. I don't know. I was actually a little bit worried that we were going to get kicked out of the league the other day. And Jerry, I love your initiative. I love your passion when it comes to fantasy football. But with Jerry, you took it upon yourself because you're a self-starter.

you said i want to i want everybody to be able to get some mock drafts in under the belt so let's figure out this order about a week before we do the draft you win through mock drafts you know that right mock draft win yes yeah you gotta get reps in right you gotta get reps in it's like anything else so so jerry uh just sends a video out of nowhere to the group chat of himself shirtless uh at a beach somewhere it looks like you were at a beach and you've

You've got a hat, and you put all the names in the hat. And the camera angle, I don't know if you did this on purpose, but the camera angle doesn't show below the belt whatsoever. So it appears that you could be nude in this video. I couldn't really see. It was very sunny out, and I was not wearing my glasses at the time. So I couldn't really see anything. Right. So Jerry proceeds to do the...

draft order. No one asked him to do this? No one asked him to do it. But again, I don't have a problem with somebody needs to take the bull by the horns, right? Yeah, get the ball rolling. We didn't have a draft order. Yeah, we didn't have a draft order. Less than a week. Yeah, so Jerry does this video and he puts all the names into the hat and

And then he reaches down and pulls out the first name. And Jerry, what is the first team that you drafted? It's our team. Oh, so he picked us first overall. Hell yeah. You can imagine the reaction from the group chat, though. It varied from like, oh, he cheated. He took his own team to somebody saying, who is this? Right. Why is this man doing our draft order? Right. So Jerry had to clear it up real quick. And yeah, unlike Huey, he didn't say they didn't say he used to be an actor. They didn't.

just said who is this yeah but then jerry pointed out very helpfully i was in kangaroo jack i'm a fantasy football expert and then he posted a picture of uh him and his lovely supermodel wife yes who is very very attractive respectfully i'm hot big fan of your wife i've been a big fan of your wife since i was yes 12 years old okay all of us have huge fan when i was 12 especially when we were 12 when i was 12 i was a massive 13 14 those were our yeah

Respectfully. Respectfully. Okay. Thank you. Knock it out of the park. Respectfully. Thank you. So Jerry does the draft order, and then there's a bunch of pushback against it. And then Jerry hops into the chat to defend himself, and he wins the chat over. Nice. As you do. I think you won the chat over. Eventually, they were like, okay, this guy's funny. I like him. So what's the problem? So there's no problem right now, except I thought for a second we might get asked to leave the Fantasy League, but I think you won us back over. And now we're...

We're trying to decide whether or not to use Jerry's draft order or if to do a random thing. You have to.

Well, what are you going to do? Just have like a random, like a random mater, like pick it, pick all the picks. Yeah. Right now it's a, we put it up to a vote and it says, I think there's four votes for redoing the draft order and then one vote for keep Jerry's draft order. All right. Well, why don't you add all of us to the, to the chain and just blow it up? Yeah. We'll stuff the ballot. Okay. We can do that. I don't know. Would the vote still pull up, show up though? I don't think it would. Maybe not. Now, Jerry, uh, you did turn the group chat green.

yeah that was a sticking point for a lot of people yeah that's a dick move out of i think there are 13 or 14 people in this group chat jerry was the first non-iphone user yeah have you thought about getting you know like walter white and breaking bad has a second cell phone for dealing drugs you just have a fantasy football cell phone i'll never do it no ever i won't do it you're an android guy i'm an android guy that's it uh mostly because um

My entire family are all Apple people. And I just want that like one degree of like they can't FaceTime me or get in touch with me. Oh, that's smart. It's like one degree of like we were trying to reach you, Dad, and we couldn't reach you. And if you have that Android, like just that one extra step.

It's just a little bit of freedom. So I had one other question before. What was the DM you sent to Max yesterday? Oh, I wanted to... I have some things that I want to say because I have to talk about who we're going to draft if we're still... Yeah, yeah, no, we're going to get to all of it. But listen, I also want to ask...

I would like to help out with the buy-in for this. No. Listen, if you would just whisper to me what one-third would be. Don't say it on air because it'll be upsetting how much it is. $50,000. No, I'm just kidding. Just whisper to me what it actually is. You're not even going to be able to fly exit seat anymore. So the math. It's a tough fraction to do. I think he's good at math. Yeah. Okay, okay. You know what?

Why don't we take care of it? We'll handle this offline, Jerry. I think I can handle it. Let me call my wife and see if I can. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah. Because I actually had a question for her as well. All right, just give me one second. Maybe she's home. She was introduced to the AWLs when we were on Grit Week. Give me one second here. Okay. Come on, pick up. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please. Hello? Honey, hey, you're live on PMT. It's Jerry.

You're live on that podcast that I do. The podcast that I'm always talking about and we listen to. Yes, they're the Bing Bong guys. This is Big Cat. This is PFT. Huey didn't know I was still an actor. Becca? Hello? Yeah. I was taking the kids to school. Okay, but hold on a second. I want to join their fantasy league and it's going to cost...

Hold on. Can you come back in one second? Call me back. I think that went well. We'll call her back. I think that's a maybe. I think that went well. We'll call her back. It's not a no. So, Jerry, I actually had a question about your wife, supermodel. Yeah. Respectfully. She was introduced to AWLs because we were on Grit Week. Sure. In LA. You were in somewhere else. You were trying to get her to let us come over to watch Hard Knocks. Right. You tweeted out...

You know, hey, please let the fellas come over for hard knocks. I'm not there. My wife is not an AWL. She quoted and said, are these your bing bong friends? Right. And then all the AWLs introduced themselves to her in a respectful way. What was her reaction to that? She doesn't really know what who you are, what I do here at all. Right.

it's not like a secret relationship that I have with you guys. It's just, um, you just drive to a park in secret and send videos to us that she doesn't. Well, listen, typically during the season, you guys record on Sundays for your Monday show. Correct. If Max remembers to push the button and, um, that's like family time. And my wife is pretty, um, adamant about, um, not making plans on Sundays. So if I do come and see you, it does have to be,

Off hours, yeah. Sort of secretive. Here, let me... That wasn't enough time, Jerry. She's dropping off the kids. No, let me... This is not going to go well, Jen. She didn't say one minute. She's going to hate us, Jerry. She's going to hate us. Hello? Hey, honey, can you talk for like two minutes? Okay, hi. So they...

By the way, I should introduce you. This is Big Cat and PFT. They're huge fans. Huge fans. Big fans. Huge fans, respectfully. What the hell kind of a name does PFT stand for? It's a long story. We can get into it later. It's pro football talk. He left comments on... It doesn't matter, honey. They...

They are part of a fantasy league, and I would like to join. It is going to cost one-tenth of repairing our driveway. Jerry, you've never won in fantasy. I came in second, but remember DeMar Hamlin, the man with the heart condition? Say it, fellas. Christopher DeMar. And remember that? I came close. What do you think? You get mad at the entire family. Uh-uh.

You get mad at everybody when you don't win. What's the other us? This could be a very victorious moment for all of us. I just need to, because we have a joint account, so you'll see if I send Venmo someone money. Sure, you walk around the house muttering about

You mutter to yourself. Your girls still play volleyball? Oh, yes. Still blue coffee NIL deal for wherever they go to college. We're getting an offer to pay the girls if they play volleyball. At the University of Wisconsin, actually. That's the only place I can get it. Yeah, they may be Div 4. Okay. University of Wisconsin.

Yes, it's a great school. Go Badgers. Are these the guys who argue for hours about you? That's us. Do you think, what was it? What color is cheddar? Where are we on that? Yellow. What's your answer? Yellow. Yeah. What about Pepper Jack? Did somebody say orange? No, what about Pepper Jack?

Pepper Jack is like pale yellow, right? Oh, no. She's a Hank rider. Be careful, Jerry. Oh, wow. Yeah, Hank's the angry one. Yes, yes. Yes, Hank is always angry. She knows as well. Wow, you do know. You are an AWL, Rebecca. I've turned you into an AWL. What do you say? Can I take 10% to fix our driveway and give it to these guys? You can join the Fantasy League, but you need to do one thing.

Oh, God. Yes. You got to win. Oh, I love it. All right. Fire me up. Love you, babe. Thanks for coming on the show. All right. I'm doing it. Oh, yes. Oh, man. You got a good one there. You got a good one there. Man, that was like Adrian Taraki. We probably should have kept her on, though, to see what happens if you don't win. Ha.

Because I feel like that was if you don't win, there's something bad coming. All right, so I'm in. I'll get you that money somehow. So what did you send Max before we start? You sent Max a random DM yesterday? Yeah, I did. I just wanted him to know that... Wow, that was so much better than you calling Darren Revell. That really went well. Yeah, it did. There was no...

Fighting or anything. She likes us. Yeah, it sounds like she's a fan. Yeah. That's incredible. I think we should, yeah. We should probably meet her. Yeah. Would you like to come on the show? My wife? Yeah. I mean. I'll get her number and I'll set it up. Just tone it down with like the 12-year-old stuff and like intensely like with crazy eyes. No, it was when we were 12. Yeah, I know. So it's not talking about other 12-year-olds. It's talking about herself. It was just kind of, it was a little awkward. Well, you remember.

Yeah, but it's just a little awkward. Okay, come on. She was on the cover of the swimsuit issue, Jerry. A number of times. I think three times. Was she on the body paint one? I don't know if she was on the body paint. She had this one that had a zipper that went right down the middle. Do you remember the zipper one? Oh, I remember it. The zipper one was really good. This is inappropriate a little bit. Yeah, sorry. That's way in the past. We're almost 40. Yeah.

You sent Max a DM just saying, Max, let's get into it today. Well, I just... Because I have... This is what I do. As your manager, if I'm still in the league and...

I'm managing it. I just, I have to break down fantasy stuff for you guys. It's also fun as an AWL because you typically talk a lot about gambling. So it's fun to have a little fantasy on the show. Yeah. And, um, Huey, uh, while I used to be an actor, I'm also, I'm sort of the fantasy expert here at part of my take. Here we go. Um, our strategy this season. Now, last season, I know I said you got to draft, um,

Fields and Darren Waller. Yeah. Early. Yeah. Who could forget? And that was a double miss. It's a rare double miss. Typically, if you make bold statements like that, I think, PFT, you said, I'm standing on the table. I'm doing that. Yeah, you stood on the table for a guy who got traded for six-round picks, back up now, to Russell Wilson. Possibly starting. And another guy who retired. Yes. He was going through some personal stuff.

You know, we're sorry to hear about his personal life, but...

Yeah, it was a double miss. I hope that doesn't scare you away from making bold statements this year, though. It doesn't. Because here's my bold statement. Here's our theme for this season in drafting. There are so many talented wide receivers in the 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th rounds that we don't have to draft wide receivers until the 5th round. Now, if one comes up in draft in like...

If Garrett Wilson is there at the end of the second round, you've got to take him. You know what I'm saying? But I don't think we're going to touch a wide receiver until the fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth rounds. And it's because Devonta Smith, okay, Max, is there. Adunze is there. Keenan is going to be there.

Curtis Samuel. I know people are sleeping on him. He's going to be the wide receiver one in Buffalo. Rashi Rice. Team motherfucking Higgins is going in the fifth round. In the fifth round. We can wait. We can wait. So...

That said, also, I'm definitely going to Buffalo Wild Wings to do my draft. They have great internet. Let's go fantasy. Let's go football. You get the ring and you can talk. All right, so here we go. Let's start with the NFC East. Okay, Max? Love it. Now, Max. Ready. I want to draft all the Eagles. All of them. Every single one of them. Love it. We're definitely drafting Devonta in the fifth round. Okay? If Saquon is on the board...

We're probably going to draft him. Okay? That said, I'm worried about drafting any Eagles. Okay. But we're drafting all of them. But I'm worried about drafting any of them because if they go one and...

Four. One and three, which they could in the first few weeks, okay? They're playing the Packers, the Falcons, the Saints, the Bucks, okay? Who they lost pretty badly in the playoffs, Max, okay? New year. Okay, I understand it's a new year, and I understand you have a new defensive coordinator. And offensive coordinator. Okay, if they go one and three...

And people are fired and the wheels fall off of that thing. And they're spray painting defensive players names on garbage cans, which I saw with my eyes in the city of Philadelphia. Okay. What are you going to say when we have when the wheels have completely fallen off? That'll be my responsibility. I'm willing to take that. Okay. Just a few questions for you, Max. Can they tackle this season?

Yeah. Vic Fangio's got the boys ready. Okay. Okay. And you feel confident that there are two, not one, but two rookie corners who are going to be guarding your backfield? I don't know how much time the rookies are going to get early on, but I think we'll be ready. Okay. How about the offense since Steichen has been gone? Are they going to do anything? Yeah. Kellen Moore's got the guys ready. Okay. Okay.

Now, is Kellen Moore going to be coaching come week five when everything breaks down? You're telling me that you want to draft all the guys, but then you're telling me you don't want to draft the guys. No, I'm just telling you when it all falls apart, and it could very possibly happen. Why are you saying things are going to fall apart if we're drafting them all? Because it's Philadelphia, and if—

There's any blood in the water, it goes... It's like a bunch of piranha jumping in and jumping on them, and it gets insane. And then we've drafted three players from a team that is in a fucking vortex spiral that they can't get out of. A death spiral. Is that going to happen this season? You have to assure us, because I am now economically, financially a part of this fantasy team. A tenth of his driveway is going to be on the Eagles. Yeah, no, I love it. I love it. I want the pressure.

Okay. I don't know that you do. This is good, Jerry. You're learning. You've learned. Hey, Max, that was just a test. That was just testing you. But, Jerry, you've learned the simple trick of investing yourself monetarily in Philadelphia sports so either you can win or you can just blame it all on Max. It's the best strategy out there. That was just a test. I was really hoping to get more of a rise. That was a stress test. Yeah. Do you have a chamomile before the show or something? No, I'm just getting ready. I mean, this is preseason. No, this is preseason.

All right, let's move on. So all the Eagles. NFC East. All the Eagles. All of them. Jalen Hurts is available. Is he okay? Jalen Hurts? Yeah. He didn't look like himself last year. He didn't look right. Let's ask Max. He only threw one interception all of camp, and that was the last day of practice. That's a bad thing. No, but he did throw one. Yeah, that's a bad thing to only throw one. No, it would have been a bad thing if he threw zero. No, because if he threw one, it's almost like he threw that one on purpose just because we were on to him.

No, you thought that you were on to him. Also, he doesn't have a center. Pretty big part of the brotherly show. We'll be fine. We'll be fine. Okay. I'm going to have to rethink this whole Eagles thing. Yeah, maybe. Let's move on to another team of the podcast, the Washington Commanders. We're probably taking Jake Daniels in like the ninth round. Okay. Okay, I like that. You think he'll be around?

I think he'll be around then. I feel like a lot of people are drafting him fairly high this year. In the mock drafts I've looked at, he or Caleb are around. And I just think it's going to have... I think he's... I think of the two of them, I think Jaden Daniels is going to light it up a little bit. Sorry. And legs. He's got the legs. Can't draft any running backs. Ever since Alfred Morris, I'm still... I have bad vibes. Also, Adrian Peterson on that team, I just think of...

I didn't know what a switch was until he came on that team. And I always think of my kids and like switching them if they're bad. And you can't do that, you know? But yeah, this Brian Robinson, Austin Eckler, Antonio Gibson backfield, we're not touching it. But scary Terry McLaurin is going to be part of our

I think he's going in like the seventh round of these mock drafts that I've been doing. He is the wide receiver one. Jahan Dotson isn't there. He is going to have a killer year. That is what I'm talking about. Can I give you just one name that maybe we don't draft him, but maybe we just keep his name in our brain for the waiver wire. Okay. Martavis Bryant. Now, by the time this podcast comes out, he might have been cut. But if he's still on the team, I feel like Martavis Bryant. Keep an eye on him.

6'4", 208. He lost like 30 pounds by drinking water and eating fruit. Weed is pretty much legal in the United States, so he won't get suspended again. Okay. Just keep an eye on him. Okay. I'm going to... What was the office term? I'm going to put a pin in that. Yeah. I'm going to table that. Oh, man. Sorry, Hank. I don't think we're drafting any cowboys this season. Hank's gone. Yeah.

Did he know I was going to talk about the Cowboys? Yeah, he might have. He put in his 30 minutes of work. He probably got a call from... Oh, Huey, here's a fun little fact. Guess how many wide receivers are named Jalen on the Cowboys? Three. Correct. Wow. Divity. Divity fucking Divity, man. Right on. I can't believe I heard that in person. Maybe Jake Ferguson in the late round because you know Pack is going to have to dump that ball.

Uh, giants, absolutely none. Just can't watch any dimes. It's just, it's an, you know, maybe Devin Singletary if he's around in the seventh round, but man, it's, I'm, I can't even draft. I can't believe people are drafting Malik neighbors in the second round. It's like, who do they see who's going to be throwing to him?

Oh, let's go to the NFC North. Oh, man, Huey. I'm so sorry, buddy. Hibbity dibbity. We can't draft Jameer Gibbs. Somebody has a hamstring injury and is out for a couple of weeks. You just want no part of it. It does make David Montgomery a must draft. Oh, because, you know, he's going to be playing. I'm going to guess the majority of the season.

But you notice we have a theme here. Commanders, you know, bears coming up, you know, eagles. This is part of the pocket. Wonderful. How many patriots? Hank, I wonder. He's not here. Oh, he's back. Oh, he's back. Chicago bears and I've seen North. Yeah. Big cat. Yeah. All of them.

Every single one. Yeah, Jerry. I don't know if it's that fucking hard knock show. Yeah, Jerry. I'm just in. They're going to be good this year. By the way, getting back to our wide receivers, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth rounds, Adunze is going to be such a good receiver. And like, I know you guys are talking about my wife and things you did to her photos. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. Ourselves. Yeah. As 13 year olds. Looking at photos and stuff. So I do want to be respectful here. Um,

But didn't say his mom is a very, I don't think I've ever said that about someone's mom. Yeah. And by the way, it's also like a, it's like, um, I don't want to get really crazy here, but it's like, you know, when you're attracted to someone, it's a potential mate, you know? And like,

I don't know if she's still of childbearing age, but like you want to, everyone wants to have a child, a child that is a professional athlete. And I found her to be, I was very attracted to her. I went on a deep dive. You know, she's a realtor in Las Vegas and gets incredible reviews. That's like, it's quite a deep dive. Yeah. So I was looking for, I was trying to see if there is a husband, a ring. Uh huh.

And I think she's single. I believe so. Total respect, though. Respect. Respect. I'm in a relationship. I just... It's complicated. No, it isn't complicated. It's not complicated at all. Your relationship? Yeah, it's not. It's simple. It's very simple. Straight down the line. Nothing complicated. Not even like... Just like... It's... You guys agree on everything. It's like missionary, our relationship. Yeah. It's like nothing even crazy. Like, there's nothing...

nothing crazy about our relationship i just um all right listen uh i like keenan allen a lot too he's going in the ninth round are you worried that there's reports he gained a lot of i know i heard that i don't think it's a problem i think he'll lose it and um man i just i you know i live in los angeles and i watched that man for years just rack up fantasy points with those chargers um uh green bay oh you know i have a question for this podcast um

And anybody can jump in here. Huey as well. He's an NFC North guy. How do we think Josh Jacobs is going to do in Green Bay?

I thought he was pretty good when he got the ball in Oakland or Las Vegas. Oh, he was incredible. Yeah, yeah. I thought when they gave him the ball and they trust him to be the first running back, I thought he was still good. Yeah. So A.J. Dillon is a little hurt, I think. So that's good. I mean, bad for A.J. Dillon, but good for if you're drafting Josh Jacobs, who's going a little later. And Jordan Love is not a scrambling quarterback. So I think Josh Jacobs is a good... Oh. I think that...

I'm biased. Okay. I think Aaron Jones is better, and he's on the Vikings now. For the price and everything, I like Aaron Jones. I think the Packers just will always have a good running back. They always seem to be okay. But they won't use him. Okay. I guess I should just be asking Big Cat this stuff because he's going to be the most judgmental and really scrutinize these picks. What about Jalen Reed? How do you feel about him? Bum. Wow. Christian Watson, bum. Can't catch. Wow. Can run fast.

So I guess no Packers on our fantasy team. NFC North Vikings. Man, I've seen the Sam Darnold movie. It's terrible. Seven-year bump, Jerry. Seven-year bump. Let's go to the NFC West 49ers. I guess just that Christian McCaffrey. I just don't like anyone else. It's just such a boring team to watch. I'm sorry. The 49ers? Yeah. You don't like Kittle?

I don't. I'm sorry. I mean, I know he's a friend of the show. I understand that. He's a friend of yours. You're basically like step cousins or something. I know. I just think we have, you know, I do want to say in the third round, we're either going to take Sam Laporta as a tight end. I like that. Or we're going to take Mick Bride as a tight end because every mock draft I've done, those tight ends seem to go back to back. It's like.

Laporta, Kelsey, McBride. It just goes boom, boom, boom. And it typically happens in the third round, so you've got to get it early if you want one of those three. And Kittle's not one of them. I'm sorry. I just...

Also, you have to watch 49ers games. They're on kind of later. It's like dark out. It's a bummer. There's also, they use them in a way that's not necessarily great for fantasy. There's a difference between being a great fantasy tight end and then what Kittle does, which is some games he'll have those great fantasy games, but other games he'll just block the shit out of people. Yeah. I just can't do it. I'm so sorry. I'm not a Brock Purdy guy. No, you're honest. You're honest. I'm not a Brock Purdy guy either. About Kyle Juszczyk.

Do you see his wife's jackets? You just love fullbacks. I do. Yeah. Still can't believe that that gold medalist wore a Green Bay jacket. No, it wasn't a Green Bay jacket. It was a Jonathan Owens jacket. You know that, Jerry. NFC West, Rams. That gold medalist. The best Olympian we've ever had. Yeah.

Rams, I love Kyron. Yeah? He's going to be really good. I don't know why he's not getting respect on these drafts. Because Blake Corham, maybe? I don't think Blake Corham's going to do anything. I mean, you think Blake... Maybe. All right, I should do a little more research there. And I do want to say also, great Grit Week, great interview with Coach McVay, but... Man, when...

A head coach starts talking about their like beauty routine and their beauty regimen and also like, like aesthetic surgeries that they've gotten. It's just, look, I'm an actor. I'm arguably, I mean, don't ask Huey, but I'm like, beside Matt Damon and Casey Affleck, the most famous guy, Huey should look me up, but...

And you don't hear me talking about my implants that I get. Right. I couldn't believe he was, I guess, A for honesty, and he's got supposedly a photographic memory. But I want my head coaches like Dan Campbell with Shaw coming out of the bath. Yeah, you want them drooling on themselves. I want Andy Reid who looks like his spleen just fucking exploded and he took a shit and he's got heartburn and just chewing Prilosec.

I don't know if this is a Prilosec podcast, but that's what I want for my head coach. Yeah, no pretty boys. Like Dan Quinn, he goes bald. Guess what he does? He shaves his head and he just grows a goatee. He doesn't have to get the PRP. That's what you need out of a football coach. Yeah. Yeah. So that was a little annoying, but I do like Kyron. Arizona Cardinals are a really interesting team this year. Yeah. Yeah.

Their offense is going to be awesome. I think their offense is going to be great. You know, I cannot draft Marvin Harrison in the second round. He's a rookie. I can't do it, but I think he's going to be really good. If we were to draft one of those rookies, it would be him, man. And I have a feeling that Kyler Murray is going to have a great year. Yeah. I think they're going to be a lot of fun to watch. Warning, though, and I say this as someone who plays, Call of Duty's new game drops the 25th. Oh, wow.

And it is supposedly like incredible. Of September? Of October. October. Okay. And it's like, I'm not kidding. You usually throw a month on those. Sorry. It'll actually be weekend? The 25th. Listen, it's like a spy thriller. You don't know who to trust. I hear the single player is incredible. I hear the multiplayer. It's like post-Cold War horror.

We may lose Kyler for, I mean, six weeks after that. Maybe we trade him. Maybe we draft him, and then we trade him early October. That's a great plan. Yeah. Sell high. NFC West, Seattle, no one. Wow. Yeah, I just... Jackson Smith is never going to leapfrog those two guys, DK and Tyler. It's just no one. Like...

You know, Kenneth Walker is going to get injured. I just can't deal with it. NFC South. Also, DK. That actually was the best Kenneth Walker preview ever. Kenneth Walker is going to get injured. I just can't deal with it. And then they got Chardonnay. Charbonnet. I don't even know. There's usually two behind, and they usually split carries after that. I can't deal with it. DK will get you like two touchdowns one week, but then he'll also get ejected from that game. He's fun to watch. Yeah.

NFC South. Wow. The most powerful division in the NFL. That you're saying, yeah. Man, I have a question for this podcast. Is Kirk Cousins going to make Kyle Pitts a good tight end? I think he will. Interesting. Because that could change things for us. Yeah, they just didn't throw to him. Now, are you willing to take that risk of not taking Laporta or McBride in the third round and take Pitts in like fifth or sixth? I have a question. What if Kyle Pitts just isn't good?

I don't think that's possible because he got drafted so high, he got drafted so high and he did have a one incredible year. I think two years ago with a not great quarterback, somebody look it up. Um,

Okay, another question. Is Kirk Cousins going to make Drake London catch more footballs? I think so. I think Kirk Cousins is going to fix the entire offense. I also think Bijan is going to get a lot more touches. He's getting a lot of love in drafts, Bijan. And, I mean...

Wow. So we may be going heavy on the Falcons. So this is not a Falcons podcast, but we might become one. Kyle Pitts, his first year had a thousand yards. That's a good year. And who was how many touchdowns? Ritter said it might have been Mariotta. It might have been Mariotta Ritter. How many touchdowns? Kyle Pitts has been in the league for three years. How many touchdowns does Kyle Pitts have?

Okay, the way you're asking, I think it's going to be six. I think it's exactly six. That's a full year for a tight end that you'd want to draft at that spot. I mean, I hope Kyle Pitts, I'm just...

I've gotten to the point where I might have to wait and see because every year we do this with Kyle Pitts. No, but you answer my question. You would rather a Laporta or McBride than a Pitts. Laporta is a beast. Jerry, what you're doing, you're trying not to steal Hank's thunder as the econ finance guy, but you're trying to time the market right now. Correct. You think that you're smarter than the market and you're like, I think that this is going to be, we're going to see like three, 400% ROI on Kyle Pitts. Yeah.

Let's stick with the guys that we know that their past performance has been good. And then that way, we're just going to ride the market up. Well, I'm also questioning everybody here because that's what fantasy is about. It's about buying low and getting a big return. If Kyle Pitts outperforms Sam Laporta, we're going to be bummed because we wasted...

I mean... I'll make a bet right now that doesn't happen. Okay. All right, good. Then we're drafting Laporta or McBride in third. Are you concerned, Jerry, at all with the ops that are listening to us right now? People in our fantasy league might be listening to this fantasy preview that you're doing, and you're essentially giving the strategy away. Well, you know what's funny is last season, somebody immediately drafted...

and immediately drafted Waller. And I was like, wow, they must have listened to me on my fantasy preview. And that worked really well in our favor. Yes. Oh, so this whole thing might be a misdirection. Wow. Carolina, absolutely no one. Yep. Not even Deontay Johnson, who's going really late. You just can't do it. Saints, absolutely no one. St.

Sorry, Stephen Shade. No Tampa Bay either. Rashad White. I don't even know. I mean, they just have the worst running backs every season. No Mike Evans? No, I'm sorry. I know he's a friend of the show, but I'm just not a baker. I just don't think it's going to happen. Sorry, everybody. Is Michael Thomas still on the Saints? I think he left. Did he retire? Where is he?

Don't know. He's a free agent. It just popped in my head. I was like, where the fuck is Michael Thomas? He's had the weirdest last five years possible. Yeah. Okay. Let's get into it, guys. AFC East. Yes. Here we go. This is it. Henny, come on. Given our wide receivers in 5, 6, 7, 8, Curtis Samuel, I really believe is going to be the number one wide receiver there and

I just... Not Keon Coleman. Have you watched Curtis Samuel play? I have. I just think he's going to get a lot of... Let me put it this way. I think he's going to see a lot of targets from an incredible quarterback. Is there a chance, Jerry, that the number one wide receiver on the Buffalo Bills might actually be a tight end? I don't think so because... Okay. Okay.

Aren't there two tight ends? There are, but Dalton Kincaid is the one who is ready. If you're timing the market, he had 73 catches last year. But I can't tell you. I think we had Kincaid a couple years ago, and every time I'd fire up the old X, you'd just see Knox trending, and you'd be like, that motherfucker's going to have had a touchdown. And it really upsets me, and then I get mad at my children and my wife, and I start yelling at them for no reason, and I'm muttering about...

Dalton Kincaid in my underwear. So just to clear it up, I think maybe what happened if it was a couple years ago, Dalton Kincaid was still at Utah, so he was not going to catch any balls. It was going to go to Dawson Knox. Okay. I don't like it if there's two tight ends. I agree with that. Got it. Oh, where's memes? I brought him a little gift, actually. Oh. Yeah, here, let me get it for you. Jets fan to Jets fan. Is it a bomb? It's not that. That joke is actually going to get us all in trouble, so let's not even...

Jerry, do you ever think about it? Because we're doing a... Oh. Do you ever think about the fact that... It got tangled, but... Here. Memes. Here you go. Oh, look at that. It's a little Knicks pendant. It's a Knicks pendant. Jerry, do you ever think about how crazy it is that this whole thing happened? Because we talk about it. You actually changed the course of the history of this podcast. Do you know that? What? You changed the course of the history of this podcast. You can't tell the story of Pardon My Take without Jerry O'Connell.

When you first got offered to us, we were like, what will we talk to Jerry O'Connell about? And they were like, you know what? Let's have him on. Well, did you know I was still an actor at the time? Yeah, we did. We didn't. Oh, because your staff doesn't seem to know I still act. I'm very familiar with your work. Stand By Me, one of the greatest films of all time. Yeah. But what happened, Jerry, is we had you on and it was an instant, instant chemistry, instant love. Yeah. And we basically said from that point on,

We have to take a risk on anyone who we're like, oh, we don't know what to talk about with him because the next Jerry O'Connell could be that person. Oh, yeah. I like that. Yeah. Because we thought it was going to be a one and done. You come on. We talk about Kangaroo Jack. Stand by me. Ha ha. You used to be fat. Oh, shit. You know, we used to jerk off to your wife when we were 13. That kind of stuff. I mean, um.

Yeah, I'm glad I could help out. Wow. I just was the fat thing. No, it was the jerking off. That's the thing is just the image of like she wasn't your wife at the time. Yeah. Just pulling his puds like your wife himself in the mirror holding up a photo of my wife. It's just like frightening with your like hairy body. It's just fucking crazy. Like I was late to a couple football practices because I went home from school.

And then I was like, oh, I got to poop after school. I wasn't pooping. And then I was late for it. Your wife's probably the reason why I'm not an NFL player right now. Yeah. Because I didn't get starting time at receiver because I was cranking off. I got to say, it's the image of Big Cat jerking off that really fucked me up. Oh, it's gross. It's really gross. It's gross.

Because you know he doesn't do it normally. You know he squats or something or does something crazy and lays paper on the ground. Like a bird cage. He's into some weird stuff where he like... You know there's a pet watching him also. It's just... It's not okay. And you know I'm a man of a particular age so it's tough enough for me as it is. And...

I mean, I still have the last time I came here. I know this. I don't know if it is anymore was a hymns podcast. You gave me like a packet of stuff and it does work when I'm saving it for, you know, like my birthday. But how we got to this point was I wanted to thank you because you changed how we view booking guests on this podcast because we thought Jerry O'Connell was

What are we going to talk about with him? And then you've become one of our favorite guests, one of our best friends, and our fantasy owner. Expert. Thank you. I'm so glad. Yes. I want to say, you know, I want to take a moment to not only thank you, but I want to thank the AWLs. It's really fun to be a part of this show. I went to Cleveland a couple weeks ago, and it was a Saturday night, and I went to downtown. I went to an awesome bar called Town Hall, highly suggested, and I was there with a coworker.

Who has no clue that I come on this show or even what this show is. And the amount of people, AWLs, who came up to me and yelled like bing bong to me. But by the way, in like a respectful manner. Like I got to say, every AWL is funny. They have a light in their eyes. There's like a high five followed by, I mean, in my case, it's like a grabbing of my shoulders and then like a whispering like.

Hanky. You blew it. Bing bong. I love AWOLs. I love being a part of the show. All right, let's get back to this because last time I was on this, you cut out when I talked about the NFC North and a couple people got upset about that, so I'm going to try to do this quickly.

But that was nice of you, Big Cat, to text me and say we cut out the NFC North. I think because I said terrible things about the Bears. No, I think it was because it was like three hours long. Jets, we're drafting Breece before everybody. Okay, I like that. You know, I'm sort of bummed out that we got the first pick in that draft because you have to take Christian McCaffrey in that case. Who he...

We might have the first pick. But I would love to take Brees. I just think he's going to have a great year. Jerry, go into the group chat and then vote to redo the draft if we don't want to draft number one overall. I think we should all take our shirts off and redo the numbers. Yeah, we will. Three of us.

Oh, this is a fun trick to do on fantasy. You draft Mike Williams with your last pick. Okay. You immediately put them into your IR slot and then you pick up somebody off a waiver. So you put an extra person in there and it's like Mike Williams who's going to have a good season when he comes back. Miami Dolphins. Now, last season, last year I came on the show and I said no Dolphins.

And it turned out that was a mistake. One of the most explosive offenses. Well, fantasy is like you get points from offense. Yeah. And they had a really good offense. So it scores like 70 points in the game. Right. Mostert had like 25 touchdowns. So I'm reversing that and I'm saying all the Dolphins. Okay, good. I think Mostert's going to have a great year. Again, you're getting a value pick. He's a goal line running back. Look,

Devin, if we could get him in the second round, that would be fun. I would even get both of them. Jalen Waddle's going in like the sixth, fifth, late fifth, sixth round. That's part of that 5-6-7. Jalen Waddle, Tyreek has a thumb injury. Come on, guys. Oh, here we go. AFC East. Is Hank here? Yep. Hank is here. Hank, are you there? Hank is here. I'm here, Jerry. What's that sound? Is that the wind? That's the fall breeze. Oh.

Because the summer of Hank is over. Feel that chill in the air? No, I'm kidding, Hank. When it comes to drafting Patriots, we are going to draft none of them. None of them! We can't draft even Ramondre! Who can we draft? Hank, tell us. Who can we draft? Who? Ramondre. Summer wind is...

Gone, baby. I was at the Cubs game the other day and I was walking in some AWL's

got were very excited and started yelling hey bing bong bing bong bing bong and there was an old woman behind me who afterwards was like sir what was that all about and i just didn't even have the heart to explain it to her uh ma'am i uh had a relationship with a young lady named tiffany gomas and it didn't work out and this guy jerry was upset that the knicks didn't make it to the next round of playoffs and started um yeah hank you think we should draft remandre really

Nah, it's just not happening this year. You know who I will draft is Belichick's girlfriend, Bing Mang. Yeah, teach us some Zumba classes. She's an entrepreneur and a philosopher. Yeah. Yeah. And 23. Wow, you know what's so crazy about your Pats? They just have no speed. They have no speed. What's going on? Like, everyone's fast in the NFL now.

Hank? It's a rebuilding year. It's not going to be pretty. It's not going to be pretty. Drake May going to be there in a couple years? Drake May, hopefully, is not going to play much this year. He's going to see some stuff, get some reps in on the practice field, and then... So Jacoby's going to start? I think it's going to be Jacoby. Okay. All right. That was our... It's weird, though, because Jared Mayo said that Drake May was the best quarterback on the team.

I think he said second best. I think he said Jacoby's the best, but then the next morning he said Drake May has outplayed Jacoby. Interesting. Yeah, I saw the quote where he said second best. Okay, good luck with that. AFC North, Baltimore. How do you think Derrick Henry's going to do this season? I think he'll be fine. He's a perfect Raven. I see it whenever a guy goes to a different team. I like to visualize it and be like, all right, how's that going to look?

I can see him in a Ravens uniform. He's going to look big in that uniform. Yeah. He's going to look really big. I like it too. Now here's the problem. He and Kyron are going right at the same time in drafts. Who would you take? I'd take Derrick Henry just because you can say track Tarsito. Yeah. You can also watch Baltimore games. It'll be really fun. I get that. The Bengals, I told you T. Higgins is going in the fifth. Tyler Boyd isn't there anymore. T. Higgins is going to go off in the fifth round.

That is everything. Oh, how do we think Zach Moss is going to do there? Good. Why do you... Like, your voice went up like three octaves. Yeah, I don't really... I mean, I think Chase Brown, the backup, is probably more explosive. But Zach Moss will probably get the goal line carries. We're going to stay away from...

You're very intuitive there. That was a good pick. I tried to give you a good, but you sniffed that right out. Okay, and AFC North, I want to apologize to you guys because I think you guys were on the right side of history here. Last season, I really was sort of hot on Deshaun Watson, and you guys were upset about it because of his... Pervert.

We have morals on our team. Yeah. Yeah. And I was trying to convince you otherwise. So like I re-listened to it and I was on the wrong side of history. Like you don't want to be, I was kind of defending him. You don't want to do that. I don't defend that sort of behavior. I'm really against it. So we're not going to draft any Browns this season. Nick Chubb late?

Not Nick Chubb late. His injury, man. Do you remember that last season? It was pretty gnarly. But I'll tell you, if he's there in like the eighth, ninth round, it may be. What about Amari Cooper? He is not starting, so we could do that IR trick where we trapped him.

I'm just saying if he's around and you're like, oh, we're going to pick a backup running back somewhere, take a flyer on Nick Chubb. All right. No receivers there because it's like Amari Cooper, Elijah Moore, Jerry Judy. We're not doing that. Pittsburgh, absolutely no one. Yeah. No one. I mean...

Name a receiver on Pittsburgh. George Pickens. Other than George Pickens. That's it. Pat Fryer move. They don't have Deontay, right? No, Deontay's gone. He's gone. I think he's in Carolina. He is. Yeah. I heard they were going to get Ayuk, but that's from Jersey Jerry. Najee cancels out Jalen Warren, and Russell Wilson. I mean, who's starting there? Who is starting there? Probably Russ. Probably Russ, and it probably won't go very great. They have Van Jefferson.

and Quez Watkins and Scotty Miller of Bucks fame let's go to the AFC West because you guys are going to cut out one of these divisions I know you are no no no the Chiefs we're going to take Pacheco in the second if we can get him because Gerard McKinnon isn't there he's going to get all those he's going to get all those touches he's another fun guy to watch

And you're going to get to watch fun games with the teams. Oh, yeah. And so you want somebody on that team to root for. And Pacheco starts doing his run where he's like stomping through quicksand. It's great. It's great, yeah. Oh, man. We're not...

I'm a PMT guy. You guys know that. We know that. We very much know that. I don't go on other sports podcasts. I don't do it. Have you been invited? I don't do it. Has anyone tried to kind of cut you? I wouldn't go. But have you been invited? I wouldn't go. Okay. I don't talk about other lovers. I don't do it. Unlike you guys telling me in detail what you did with my wife's photo. It's fucking gross. It's crazy. Photos. It wasn't just one. That'd be crazy. Again, wasn't your wife.

At the time, but it is now. Right. I would never do that now. All right. Well, listen, I would never go on another person's sports podcast, and I would never draft someone who was in another sports podcast.

No Travis Kelsey on our team. I love that. Good. Good. Take a stand. This is the number one sports podcast. Yes. That's it. Yep. There is no other sports podcasts. There will be no talk of that person on this. Let's make a list. Make a graphic of Jerry O'Connell's undraftables for moral reasons. Deshaun Watson and Travis Kelsey. Yes. And what about Henry Ruggs? Yeah. I mean, would you draft Henry Ruggs?

Has he been through a trial and everything? I think he's in prison. He's sitting in jail at this moment. Okay, but... Killed a woman. God rest everyone's souls. It was terrible. Prayers for DeMar. Prayers for everyone. But has he been found guilty? He's literally sitting in jail right now. Prison. Okay, I didn't keep up on the trial. Yes, prison.

But I mean, look, getting back to what I was talking about, like others, like if chicks in the if NBA hole was like a like a the number one pod, the number two sports podcast. I wouldn't draft Huey, especially since he didn't know I was a fucking actor. Huey, I'm I was in the Big Bang Theory. Sorry, man. I'm.

I don't watch that show. Hugh, you ever see the Heartbreaker music video with Mariah Carey? No. Oh, Jesus. Guess who they asked to play the heartthrob? Jerry. Jerry. That's cool. You ever see Jerry Maguire? You know what? He just knows me as the fantasy guy. You've never seen Jerry Maguire? Jerry, how cool is that being Mariah Carey's boyfriend? It was so cool. I tried hard. Man, I went for it hard. Went hard. All in.

How fun was it being in Can't Hardly Wait? That was a lot of fun. I love that movie. Very young and attractive. Really fun. I felt like I was invited to young Hollywood at that time. Where's Jennifer Love Hewitt these days? She was the best. I just saw her. She's in a show called Emergency 911. She plays the dispatcher. Love it. Beautiful young lady has a beautiful family. Doing great. Great. Got a new tattoo. She showed me her new tattoo on her arm.

Okay. Rashi Rice, I think, is a great deal in our five, six, seven, eight. And I don't think his legal trouble. Oh, whoa. He just likes to drive fast. We talked about the morals. I don't think these legal troubles are going to stop him from playing this. Okay. Okay. Doesn't he have like eight felonies or something like that pending against him? It'll get dropped down. Yeah. They'll work it out. It's fine. Yeah. I just. He went back. Yeah. He was like, hey, hand up. My bad.

This is also another bummer. We're still talking about the Chiefs. You know, we spoke to my wife on this podcast. Big Cat may cut it out or something. Supermodel. No, we're definitely not cutting out that part. But, you know, my wife... How do I say this? Is like the breadwinner in our household, which is why I had to ask her if I can borrow the money to pay you guys to get in this fantasy league. And...

I love her working. It gives me time to really concentrate on fantasy. Yeah. And help you guys out with your team. That said, like I do like, like I'm so happy my wife works. That said, we are going to draft Harrison Buck Kerr. Okay. Yes. I know he's like probably against, I mean, my wife working all the time and being the breadwinner, he would probably, his head would explode if he lived in my shoes. Bread maker maybe. Yeah.

And also his head would probably explode hearing how much you guys talked about jerking off to my wife this entire episode. Yeah, not your wife at the time. My head exploded once or twice. He couldn't handle that. Sorry. But we're going to draft Harrison Butker. Okay. He's a really good kicker. Bad at opinions where women stand in society. Good at kicking. I just want to clear one thing up, Jerry, because I don't want there to be any awkward tension. Pamela Anderson was always my one-one.

It's a pretty rude thing to say. I thought like my wife was. I'm just being, that's a respectful way to say it. Yeah, but why are you dropping like people who you thought are more attractive than my wife? Not me, Jerry. Well, I wanted you to not have the visual, like the visual that you, the picture you painted, that was mostly Pamela Anderson.

Picture a picture of you laying down paper towels on the floor. Squatting with an animal watching. AFC West. Oh, Raiders. Zemir White. Yes. He gets a lot of hate, but you know what? I love a Raiders running back. I just love a Raiders running back. We're going to draft Zemir White. And he's going late in the draft, so he's like an RB1 going late. I don't think Brock Bowers is going to do anything. I keep hearing his name.

On radio shows, I just, I mean, you have any feelings about Brock Bowers? He's catching everything. He had a good camp. Also, I feel like a new head coach like Antonio Pierce, they're going to run the football and they'll probably throw some passes tight ends. Yeah, I don't hate also taking Carlson from the Raiders if Bucker's not there just because I think Antonio Pierce is going to be a take the points guy. Yeah, okay.

Okay. What are Carlson's views on women in the workplace? I think he's pro. It's cool. It's cool with it.

Okay. I think Daniel Carlson, is he from Sweden? Yeah, I think he, yeah. I feel like they're very progressive. Yeah. Super, super duper. A lot of supermodels from there. Yeah. He's from Colorado. Oh. But yeah. Who's the Swedish guy? Because I thought the same thing. I don't know. Like I imagined him in clogs going, it's okay that women go to work. They need to have a life as well. It's important. I don't believe in what Harrison Butker says. Yeah.

His dad's name's Hans. That's pretty cool. I mean, I think he just... I mean, I like the idea that he's wearing clogs to Allegiant and getting ready to kick some footballs. Again, Daniel Carlson, 100% American. I think... Well, he has a brother, right? Yeah. Niels. Niels, yeah. So his brother's the Swedish one. I think they both... They're Swedes, man. They're Swedes. Or Anders. Anders and Niels. Oh, yeah. These guys are... Oh, wait. There's...

Anders is the other kicker. Okay. Dude, you know they're like... Anders also born in Colorado. Big summer blowout. Yoo-hoo.

All right, over to the Chargers. You're going to cut this all out. No, no, no. How do we feel about Gus Edwards? Is he going to do anything? All right, can I say something right now? Just full disclosure. When we did the new places, new faces, new places thing, I didn't realize the Chargers just took the Ravens backfield. Yeah. Gus Edwards and J.K. Dobbins on the Chargers. That's kind of cool. A little Harbaugh swapsies. Yeah. So I am kind of high on it. I mean, late round running back.

Lab McConkie, how do we think he's going to do? Yes. Draft him. Okay. Someone has to catch the ball. Joshua Palmer obviously is going to be the receiver one, but we've learned that what's-his-name can't catch Quentin Johnson. Yeah. Lab McConkie, they're going to force feed Lab McConkie. Good. Then we're going to draft him. He's going really late. Denver, absolutely no one. Sorry. I mean, not even like...

Javante, who I love as a running back. It's just I have a feeling that McLaughlin's going to take... That Jaleel's going to take a lot of his touches. AFC South. Colts, given our 5, 6, 7, 8 wide receiver, Michael Pittman's going in the seventh round, fellas. Seventh round. If Jonathan Taylor's on the board, we might have to take him. I do think...

Man, I don't know why Anthony Richardson is getting drafted so high. I'm not a believer. Because he runs. I know, but he hasn't, like he's played two, a game and a half. Yeah, not only that, but. And he's being drafted 50 slots higher than he was last season. Listen, I might get shit for this, but Anthony Richardson is an insane athlete. Has he ever been good at football? For that one game?

Ford got hurt last year. He had some problems. I know, but like Florida, he was... It feels like he's just a forever prospect. We'll see. Oh, breaking news. Breaking news. Here we go. Brandon Ayuk. Brandon Ayuk. Brandon Ayuk? Kind of.

It's about a commander's wide receiver. Oh, okay. Commanders are releasing Martavis Bryant. That is perfect. Well, my take stands. Yeah. We'll bring him back. If he's still there. You know what? Dan Quinn's such a good guy. He's giving him a shot. He's giving him an opportunity to sign with the roster. Oh, that's so perfect. And then when he doesn't, then we're going to bring him back practice squad. That's perfect. That was not worthy of breaking moose. That was. It was. It was. Given the context, it was. That was really funny. Yes. Really funny.

um funnier than you guys talking about what you did to your young pre-pubescent bodies with a photo of my wife it was not pre-pubescent no that would make no sense that would make us weirdos decidedly post-pubescent yeah i'm sorry that got weird when i said that that's that that was weird i shouldn't have said that um afc so thanks for not making a weird yeah jacksonville uh

I'm just worried about their offense. I'm not taking anybody there. I'm worried about that offense. I just don't think they're going to have a good year. Etienne goes early, early. I'm going to try and pass on him unless he falls on our lap. I'm not worried about Tank Bigsby. Bigsby, everybody says he gets touches. Houston Texans, all of them, every single one of them. This is their year. C.J. Stroud, I think, is really like he's going in like the fourth –

Fourth, fifth round. He's going after Anthony Richardson. This is it. Stefan Diggs is being drafted in like the eighth round. Stefan fucking Diggs. Yeah. Tank Dell is in the seventh round. Nico. Nico's going earlier, but like, I just think, I think Joe Mixon is going to be that goal line passing back. You know that man catches like 90% of the passes that come his way?

I'm all in on the Texans. The Titans, the only one that interests me is Tony Pollard, and that's only because I live like two years ago when we came in second. It was such a disaster in Dallas last year for him. What was up with him? Was he injured or something? Tony Pollard? I mean, he's the only player there. You think Will Levis will have a bounce-back season? I don't know if you can call it bounce-back. I mean, do you think he'll have a good season? I think he'll be okay.

And with defenses, we're just going to stream, meaning we're just going to pick up each week whoever's playing the Patriots. I like that. That's a good strategy for defense, by the way. That's it, guys. That's what we're going to do with fantasy. I'm going to wire you some money. I have a debit card. I might have to somehow debit it to you. We can do a payment plan. My wife gave me a debit card, so I'll just figure out a way to just...

get a T somehow, maybe a Zell. Okay. Yeah, we can, we can make it work. I like your strategy this year. Oh, good. Uh, so who are the, who are the guys that we're targeting that you're standing on the table for? Who are the, uh, the Justin Fields and the Darren Wallers of this year? Um, so it's funny because we have the first pick in the draft right now. Currently, um, when it comes back around to us in the second round, um,

Pretty much all the really, like, the tier one running backs are gone. So we get one tier one running back in Christian McCaffrey. Then we got to take Josh Allen at the end of that. Okay. Just because he's there. If he's not there for some reason, we're taking Jalen Hurts. Okay, Max? Love it. Thank you. Then for our third pick, we're taking Laporta. If he's there, somebody could get weird and take him at the end of the second. Or McBride. Okay. Then...

Depending on who's in our fourth round, we're taking Devonta Smith or if there's a really good running back up there like Samir White who could be in the fourth round or Joe Mixon who could still be hanging around. And then fifth, sixth, seventh, we're taking all just wide receivers, all those guys I mentioned, Stephon Diggs, not Watson, not Jaden Reed. Mm-hmm.

Odunze is going to be there. I mean, it's going to be really, I just, I, you know, we're at an age in fantasy where everyone takes wide receivers in those first two rounds. And I just think all the good running backs are gone. And like you get the, those, those tier one running backs and tier one quarterbacks and tier one tight ends. And I think we can, I think we can wait a little bit for, for what wide, wide receiver. I like that little zig on the zag. Yeah.

Yeah. Zag on the zig. Well, Jerry, love the fantasy preview. Yeah. Last question. Sure. Oh, is it a rollback question? It is a rollback question. How'd you know? R-H-O-B-A-C-K. R-H-O-B-A-C-K. Dot com.

Promo code? Promo code TAKE. TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, sweat, or sorry, bathing suits, very comfortable bathing suits. Roback.com, promo code TAKE. My last question, the Roback question. Have you prepared anything for anyone here? You know, I have. For those, Huey, this is your first time having me on as a guest. You should really, you should check out the,

Kangaroo Jack, you should check out science fiction film I did, Mission to Mars. I've been in some stuff. Crossing Jordan. Crossing Jordan. I plan on watching a couple of these. We'd love that. It's good stuff. But you probably also don't know, aside from being a fantasy expert, I'm also a little bit of a poet and I like to write poems for cast members here.

Part of my take. And this poem, my my rollback poem is for is for Hank. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky to the man of many championships, the man of many cities. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky to the man who would rather play golf than go playing with those big soft titties. Good choice. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. How's your summer been? We've all heard it's going pretty swell.

Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. Capped off by getting to ring that stupid useless bell. Elevator ride was fun. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. This summer has given you purpose. This summer has given you a reason. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. Will you be asked to ring that stupid useless bell during the regular season? Preseason don't mean shit. Ask Max.

Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. This summer you seem to check all the boxes on all of your lists. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. Topped off by that image of you at the top of Foxboro pumping your tiny little fists. How many pumps you get? Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. You would think that all these accomplishments would finally impress me. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. Even if you were less nervous than the very brave Kenny Chesney. He rode up in the elevator. You were brave. Mm-hmm.

Hanky, hanky, hanky. Yes, climbing to the top of that lighthouse would make most people quiver. Hanky, hanky, hanky. Even from all the way up there, you still can't see the Neponson River. The trees are in the way. Hanky, hanky, hanky. None of us are used to all this winning and all these victorious aromas. Hanky, hanky, hanky. Although you did take one L and her name is Tiffany Gomez. You blew it.

Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. Here's to hoping you have a great fall with victories and many a vacay. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. Even if you won't acknowledge the freedom and sovereignty of Taipei. Yara kami, bing bong. So Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. We honor you this summer and all your aura and all your might. Hanky, Hanky, Hanky. For the summer of 2024, you were our keeper of the light. Yeah.

Beautiful. Great poem as always. Love you guys. Jerry O'Connell, you're the best. We love you so much. Thank you so much. And I can't wait to see the update. I can't wait to see our team. And I can't wait to see where we go with this. We got to win. Your wife said we have to win. So we got to win. Jerry, what do you want to plug?

Oh, yeah. Plug anything. You want to plug Charles in Charge? Charles in Charge. Little Scott Baio. I was in an episode of that. Yeah. Huey. No, I got another plug. Okay. Nothing? I want to say hi to the AWLs. I love them. Keep it coming. TV? We can't watch it on TV? Oh, I host a show called Pictionary, a game show. I'm in a show called The Talk on CBS. This is broadcast TV, so it's...

It's on, yeah, it's, no, I have nothing to put. I'm on Yelp. I leave good reviews for places if I go someplace. Love it. Check out Jerry's Yelp account. Yeah. All right, well, Jerry, thanks so much. You're the best.

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If you want more confidence in the bedroom, use code PMT. Get your first month for free. First month free with code PMT at BlueChew.com. Check them out. Thank you to Blue Chew for sponsoring the pod. Okay, let's wrap up, Hank. Credit to us for not making any jokes about Jerry's wife during that whole thing. Yes. Very above board.

Also, that's why I love Jerry because every now and then I'm like, wait, did we go too far? And then he'll just like one-up us with something else. We'll be like, yeah, I looked into Roman Dunzay's mom. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Henry, FAQs. If Big Cat and PFT were in an empty room with all the podcast equipment unassembled, cameras, mics, etc.,

How long would it take them to record an entire episode? Oh, record? What a question. I think we could record if you gave us four hours. We might have to do this. But now uploading it. No phones either, obviously. Yeah. Uploading it and publishing it would be different.

We might have to do this. But record it. I think we could do it. Someone asked us this at camp. I think memes just added it to it. He did. Oh, this is memes? Yeah, this is a memes listener submitted question. It's FAQ. Or FAQ, yeah. Actually, Hank, why don't you tell us what you think? I think we got to do this. I think PFT's inclination, because he has some experience with recording equipment, is probably correct that you could record it.

But you would not be able to edit and upload. It would also take us a long time to record. But actually, PFT can use iMovie, too. I think it would take a long time. I can? Or whatever. You've made songs. The things you use to make... What's that? Yeah, it's like all the recording software. GarageBand? All the recording software is kind of similar. I think you could eventually be able to record audio. The guys who were here yesterday giving out free stuff, are they sponsoring us in anything?

Uh, not us, but the office. Can they sponsor us in something?

They can't do like hypothetically a live stream of us using their product and then trying to accomplish. Yes. Yes. We do a live stream of us using their product. Show us using their product. Right. So we use their product. Then we come in here. We'd company. Then we come in here. We have to build it and we live stream us building it. And then we we end the live stream and whatever we end up recording, we put at the end of a show.

That would be great. All right. I feel like you guys would just be calling for help. You would find a way to be like, I can't do this. Call for help. We are allowed to use our phones to Google, right? No. No, I like not using them. Google, I think. We should be allowed to Google. No, I don't do a computer with Google, but even... No, so you guys would still upload, but we would have to record it. We'd put it at the end of it. It'd be a part of my bake at the end of the episode. Actually, it'd be funny if you guys, if Max and Hank were sitting in here and you guys couldn't help us, but you watched us. I kind of...

I don't trust anyone else. You can read my eyes. I was thinking that if we had Fasoli or Zoot, they would just end up telling you what to do. Big Cat's a great... He will finesse people. What do you mean? Are we saying that we're going to use the same equipment that we do right now? Are you saying that we...

We go in with a computer. I think travel. Yeah, no, I think travel you'd be better off. I think if you had to use this computer. And we'd have to do video too. But PFT can use, like, I would be confident with the ability to use the travel record. But what if we did the thing where we were high?

So let's try to get a sponsorship deal. I've put so many sick filters. Let's do this. This should be so funny. So funny. And live stream. And then we cut. Yeah, but what if they do really well? I'm looking at it more as a PMTV. Okay, we do PMTV, but we cut it at the end. We cut at the end so people then have to listen to what comes out. Right, right, right, right. Because who knows what comes out.

It could just be us not talking for 20 minutes. Or if it sounds like absolute shit. Right. That would be fun. There's a buzz, massive buzz. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, great question, and we should do it. Good question, memes. Hey, PMT, when looking at the upcoming football season, what would be a shame if it happened? Oh, jeez. I mean, there's so many shames out there. There's a lot of shames.

I don't want to do the shames, but we got to do the shames. I mean, we know the shame. We'll say this. This isn't about football. It would be a shame if memes died via suicide bombing. That would be a shame. That would be a shame. The first five plays of the just season. It's going to be incredible. It would be a shame. It would be incredible. Listen, it would be a shame if any of our guys got hurt. Let's just hope for a healthy football season. Knock on wood. That would be a shame. It would also...

It'd be a shame if someone's quarterbacking here, they kind of open their eyes and are like, he's not good anymore. Yeah, it'd be... You guys don't even know... We're not talking about you. I wasn't talking about you. I have Jalen Hurts, 14-1, win MVP. It'd be a shame if after... You didn't take that. No, I didn't take it. I don't know. Five, six games, it was apparent that Kevin Stefanski wasn't the guy.

Excuse me, not Kevin. Wait. Not Kevin. I didn't mean to say that. We love Kevin Savant. I meant to say the other guy whose name ends in an I, Nick Sirianni. Oh. That is more like it. Kevin Savant, he's a very good coach. He's the guy. I like him. No, I'm back in on Nick Sirianni. I'm back in on Sirianni. Oh, you are? Yeah. Why? Italians got to stick together? Yeah, no. It's the start of a new year. We got good guys around him. We got good vibes going into the year. Listen, I hope...

that the eagles are good and i do mean that max i know that you probably think what you think i'm fucking with you no you want them to be good enough correct yeah correct that's what everyone should always be rooting for it's what i say when i do the doug stream where i'm like you don't want me to lose in the regular season you want me to lose in the playoffs that's when it's maximum pain so i want the eagles to be good but if they're not which would be a shame i'm

It's going to get weird with Nick Sirianni. Very weird. He doesn't feel like someone who's going to control that well. Because they basically hired two assistant teachers for him to come in. They're like, you can't handle the classroom. Yeah. Good question, but bad question. It would be a shame if Jordan Love won MVP. That would be a shame. It'd be a shame. Hi, Tall Guy PFT, father of three Big Cat, Captain Hank, and Meatball Max. We all know the odd jobs PFT has worked before the pod.

Who anyone else on the pod has worked a job not remotely close to what you guys are doing now? All of my jobs before. Yeah, all of my jobs too. I worked as a caterer.

I worked as a I actually for a while there I did focus groups do you guys ever do that yeah those I got paid like 200 bucks to like try shit out was awesome and you just fuck with people yeah yeah I did I did the worst job I had was I was the guy who would call you when you're sitting down to dinner asking you to donate to the University of Wisconsin that was bad

So my hours were literally like 5 to 8 p.m. And I would just sit there at a phone and just I'd have to call like 100 people in a row. That sucked bad. Cold calls are so hard to do. Yeah. I was a shift manager at a valet parking company.

Oh, you look like a valet parker. I did that for four years. You were always running, right? Yeah, you run a lot at valet, actually. Well, you do that early. Once you become a manager, all you do is ticket and then hand off the tickets to the runners. Yeah, that's what you got to do. So when people would bring in stick shifts, what would you do? I couldn't do stick shifts.

Do you get paid more if you delegate? That's where you delegate as the shift manager? Yeah, delegate the stick shift thing, of course. Another thing. That sounds like you might have tried to drive the stick shift. If you have a stick shift, do not ever give it to a valet. Yeah, so you definitely tried to drive the stick shift. Sometimes, I don't even know if I should be saying this. Yeah, say it.

Statue of limitations. Sometimes there's private parties. Sometimes there's private parties where someone will... They valet and then you know that they're not coming out for six hours because they can't leave the event early. If someone has a stick shift, at every site I worked at, there was one person who tried to teach everyone else how to drive a stick shift. I love it. There was five times with somebody's random car who went into the thing. I learned...

learned how to drive a stick shift enough to move it from point A to point B just on some random person's car. What was the policy like if at the end of the night somebody came out, asked for the keys back, and you could tell they should not be driving? That's on the restaurant. That's not on us. Here you go, sir. Yeah. That's a thing that we were told. They were like, that's on the restaurant to tell them whether or not they can drive. The worst part is sometimes you would lose a key.

If you lose a key, that's an awkward conversation. Yeah, do you lose a key? I was never a manager of a shift where someone lost a key, but I had been a runner in one, and it's super awkward. Like, the manager has to drive the person. Oh. It has to offer. This may have been before. The one that I remember may have been before Uber was very, like, ubiquitous. Prevalent. Yeah. So the person drove Uber.

the person home to get their spare key and brought them back. Yeah, and then obviously the company would pay for the spare key. I'm sorry, Mr. Romano-O'Connell, but I seem to have lost your key. One of the craziest ones is that memes was an accountant. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that's the least crazy. No, but we don't talk about it. I think Meme did cold calling too or something, didn't you? I've had so many jobs. I worked at Burger King, Panera Bread, Cheesecake Factory, Ruby Tuesday, UPS. How bad were you at these jobs? No, no. They were all like quick summer job for like one month. Demolition.

That rocks. I worked manual labor where I literally was not skilled enough to do anything but dig the trenches. I just dig ditches all summer. I did tree work where I just picked up the branches that fell after someone cut down a tree. Yeah, I dug holes and got made fun of in Spanish for an entire summer. Yeah, cold calling was not fun.

Cold calling is by far the worst Because you just I would call And if a successful night Would be getting one donation an hour Which would be like 50 calls Yeah you have to be a real sicko People who are really good at cold calling Really good at sales You have to be fucked in the head It really sucked Yeah because you have to be able to say Okay 39 people hang up on me Doesn't matter One person I get to talk to for 5 minutes That's a win My job's around Brando's Little League umpire

Taco Bell drive-thru, stock shelves, dishwasher, busboy, cook, landscaper, does dishwasher, prep cook, regular cook. I applied to be a busboy at a company that said, we need cooks. Can you cook? I said, sure.

And they never trade me. Yeah. And I just started working in the kitchen. I love that. I love that. And I was like working the fry later, which was easy. But then there was one guy got fired. One guy got the head cook got fired in real time for saying inappropriate stuff to a waitress that walked by, like got insta fired. And then I had to finish the show. Oh, my God. The head chef with no experience. That's a great. But it was a sports bar. It was sports being a caterer. Suck to just walking around, just hoping that people would take your like if you get like stuffed mushrooms or something, you're just fucked.

What about Little League umpire? What was your strike three call? I had good strike three calls. I was a demon Little League umpire. I was fast because, like, my friend was the one that would assign the ump. So he, like, always assigned me and my two friends, and we would just power through. Honestly, in hindsight. And I was, like, telling the catchers, too, like,

And the batters, they're like swing buddy. I was a soccer ref for like four years. I was a basketball ref. And then it turns out that the guy that was in charge of assigning all the assignments for soccer refs who I refed with all the time as like a linesman, he got busted by the CIA for being a pedophile. Ooh. Yeah. And then I was like, he never came on to me. Whoa. I was a basketball ref and I 100% it was like fifth graders, I 100%

like called against kids. I didn't like, like if they like cried or like were a little boisterous, I just, God, God, follow them out right away. I, I ref the one year I was in college. I did intramural roughing and I watched, I still think about it all the time. It makes me laugh, even though it was terrific for the kid. I knew him.

Wide open layup. Kid goes to do the wide open layup. Tears his ACL. I thought he was faking it. No one was even near him. It was like a free tip. Just make the layup. And he comes down and goes on the ground and is screaming in pain. And everyone kind of took a second to be like, is he joking? And he tore his ACL. I was on crutches for the rest of the semester. Do you guys have jobs that you tried to get that didn't get that you're like, wow, that was good that I didn't get that? Museum of Science.

Oh. What would you have done there? When I was applying for Barstool, I had a family connection in the Museum of Science to do video production for the butterfly exhibit. Oh, that would have been nice. Yeah. I would have not worked here. I got to my second interview in medical sales that they basically were like, you either had to be a hot girl or a college athlete, like play football at college. And I...

I think about that every now and then where I'm like, I would have 100% just been selling opioids and been like, what? It's money. Yeah. So that was good that I didn't get that because that was like the timeline lines up where I've been like, yeah,

It's fine. I applied to work for Bleacher Report in 2011, and they sent me the meanest rejection email. It said, quite frankly, a column like this is something we would never allow to appear on any of our sites. Fuck them. Yeah. I got to look that one up. I was a production intern. I applied to be a production intern for the Flyers. Interview went really well. I was still in school.

And the guy called me. He was like, we want you to take the job, but can you take this? Basically asking, can you take this semester off? Because the other guy, like Drexel gives people a semester off so he could do five days a week and I could only do three. And I remember I was so upset. I was like, I can't just like take. Flyers max. Yeah. Would have been awesome.

Dream question Here's my rejection letter from Bleach Report Just found it Your post included offensive language Such as mentioning of the Aryan race It was about Bruce Aryans Thanks once again We apologize for not notifying you sooner Below is a copy of your post For your own records This is something that we would not allow on any of our sites Whoops How are they doing now Pretty good Yeah

Okay. Do we have any others? I'll start with that one. Those are some good questions. Yeah, good questions. The main issue coming away from writing sample is that you were missing several things. For one, your points were not backed up with any supporting information or analysis. Not the point. Simply stating a coach's win-loss record is not enough. You need to actually back those opinions up. Nope. Anything about the grammar? Wrong.

This is an assumption. It comes with no backing. In all honesty, sentences like this that our content moderation teams would not let on our site, we'd rather have you produce an article that is based on results. Losers. And more importantly, the situation around Chuck Pagano is a sensitive subject. That's great. All right, perfect. Let's do numbers. 17. 3. 56.

Whoa, Matt. 38. Switch it up. Switch it up. PFT, have you ever gotten this? 21. How does that feel? How does that feel? Feels great. I love it because I'm about to get number eight. 78. Not even close. 78. Oh, it stinks. Love you guys.