Synced: Mary Katherine Paulson
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Okay, we're recording and we were just talking about the fact that we think that maybe my therapist is Taylor Swift's therapist. Based on no information. Yeah. Other than her therapist has to be really good and my therapist is so good. It's highly likely. Okay, well, how would you feel if you learned that your therapist is Taylor Swift's therapist? Well, first of all, I would feel...

So elite. So elite. Also the fact that she makes the time for me when she has to make the time for her. Right. That's huge. But also I would feel like, oh no, have I said anything about her?

But it only would have been positive stuff. So it would have been fine. I wonder if someone is bringing up Taylor Swift in their therapy sessions in a negative way. Probably. I mean, I will. I'm going to be very vulnerable. Do it. There were times, and I feel like no one has really admitted this, so maybe it'll create a platform. Yeah, maybe it'll open the door. Yeah. I was very happy for her. And at times, I was like, you can't.

a billionaire and meet the love of your life in six months. And you were, wait, you were saying it as in I'm skeptical or I'm envious? No, I'm envious. Oh, wow. I was super happy and elated until the Super Bowl night. That's never...

really happened to me at a wedding. I've not been to enough weddings for me to be in a bad place. Only many funerals, which usually make you more grateful. Yeah, it has the opposite effect. It does. But you don't have sometimes you can get sad at a funeral. Like let's go to you go to you go to a funeral and you're single or you just went through a breakup or something. And you're like, I feel like that was the Super Bowl for me a little bit where I was like, all right,

This is getting a little, like, now I'm feeling sad about my life. In comparison, like, everything's working for her. And I felt like my life was not like that. And I was, like, weirdly comparing myself to Taylor Swift, which is, you know, a hilarious thing to do. I'm sure a lot of people felt like that. You felt 0%. Yeah, because you... I didn't. For a few reasons. One...

I love her. I respect her and admire her so much. We always have to say that. But I don't want to be her. I think her life's hard, really hard, actually. I think that level of fame and the amount of eyes on you at all times, and because she's smart, I would say like the smartest business person alive, she...

busy. Like, she has to work. She works at this. She feeds her fans. It's an all day, all night. All encompassing. Exactly. And that's a lot. Like, that seems exhausting. That seems tiring. I think she's earned it. So now, did you think before

Before she had a billion dollars, but she still had like $999 million. Did it not matter? It didn't. It wasn't the same. She wasn't successful yet. I think it was just all of it combined and a lot of it constantly in my feeds. And this is always the cycle. And I feel bad because we do this to women all the time. I know.

Every woman. And it was very difficult for me because I felt these emotions, but then I also felt judgmental of myself. I shouldn't be feeling like this. Yeah, this is bad. I think this is what you wish. I mean, because I've been trying to get into manifestation. We're supposed to meditate. Shoot. I forgot. So did I. Okay. I think we should start it July 1st. Oh, okay. I like that. Should we do a month of it? Yes, for July. How many minutes? Oh.

20. Are you kidding me? 20? Too many. Can you do 20? I don't think I've ever. I'm not doing it right the whole time, but I can like. Right. Just no right way to meditate. That's what I hear people say. I can like commit to trying for 20 minutes. Okay. Wow. This is huge. I mean, maybe I should do 20. I was going to say

10 because that's a lot, but 20 is going to make me face some shit because I've never been able to sit there for that long. But are we allowed to do guided? We must. I can't do the other one. Okay, we'll do guided. Okay, guided. Actually, this is better for our challenge because then if we're doing the same exact thing, then that will be good. There's a really good woman, Penn. I want to talk about this. There's a really good woman named Tara Brock. Do you know her? I love her.

Tara Brock. Is it Radical Acceptance, our book? I think so. It's a really good book. If you're jealous of Taylor Swift right now, go read it. Radical Acceptance. Literally. Hi.

Okay, but she has meditations. Do you know that? Oh, I didn't know that. That's perfect. And they're different. So like Wednesdays was 21 minutes, meditation, relaxing, open into full presence. And these are free. So if people want to join us. Exactly. They're on Spotify. So they can join the mod. The meditation mob, or is there a better term? I like it. But yeah, Sing Squad can join in on our challenge. We're going to start July 3rd.

But some days I don't have it, so we'll have to figure out something else for those days. I like to redo meditations. Okay, so should we- Because I know I like it. Redo until a new one comes? Yeah, I think that's good. Okay. Already feels chaos. I love it. Also, speaking of a sync squad, I met a sync squad member, many in New York. Shout out to Mary Kate. And Ashley. Wait, Mary Catherine. Sorry, Mary Catherine. Oh my God. Oh my God, now I'm-

Wait, I wrote it down. Now I feel bad. I need to reply. I wish it was. I know. Wait. If it was Mary Kay, that would have been so freaking. I think I would stop breathing. I think it was Mary Catherine. Mary Catherine Paulson. What's that? I don't know who that is. It's like almost Mary Kay Olsen. Oh, Olsen. Oh, my God. I'm smoking too much weed. Okay. Mary. Who are you, Pim? I mean, fuck.

When am I not? Okay. Mary Catherine. Shout out to the Sing Squad. Many members came up to me in New York and one of them, I was on a date, on a brunch date, and she came up to me, which I loved because it made me look good in front of this date. Oh, that's great. And actually, I went on two dates with them and both times, and again, it's not like this happens to me every two seconds, but it was...

Really like I'd paid people to come up to me. Oh my God, should we also start doing that? Honestly, it worked. I mean, I got a second date and it made me look awesome. I have so many pins because I want to hear about that too. Well, yeah. So Mary Catherine said that she has a synced chat with her friends specifically for when the show comes out. Isn't that sweet? Well, I really hope they join us on our meditation journey. Me too. Turn that sync chat into a meditation chat. That's so cool. That's so cool. Woo woo.

Okay, wait. So back to, you said you've been trying to manifest. Yes. Well, I feel like she went through this very difficult time and then just manifested this. I mean, even Travis Kelsey manifested her, like literally from like making a bracelet for her to then being on stage. It's just like, whoa, dude. So sometimes when I see that unfold, I'm like, why doesn't manifestation work for me? Which I know that's probably not how you're not supposed to do that. I don't think you're

supposed to measure the manifestation necessarily? I think that's the hardest part for me because I'm doing it. I'm doing all this work and but whatever. I'll be patient. Can you walk me through how your manifesting goes? Like is it in the morning? Do you write it down? What is it? I have basically a few sets of habits

of habits. I do have meditation playlists. Like when I was going through health issues, like my body's healing, like all of these things about things are being healed. And then I also have a thing with a few of my friends where we keep saying like,

everything always works out for us. And we keep saying that all the time, every call, every time even something's a little like off, but everything always works out for us. And so that's a thing we'll do. Or like I have a manifestation little bracelet that my friend Rihie made and she gave to me. Beautiful. What does it say? It says manifest. She made it. Kind of monotonous.

On the nose. On the nose. I love it. And then we wrote each other letters to open in six months from now about all the things for each other. The whole thing with manifestation is it has to be present tense. You can't say, I want to have a great job. You say, I have this amazing job. I have this amazing partner that is loving. And then the other exercise that I've done

is you write present tense. Let's say again, like you want to manifest a partner that is your perfect match. You write a normal day with them. Like he just brought me coffee and bed and we're going to the beach and our little toddler, whatever, right? You like write it as if it's present. And a lot of people have told me like, once I did that, I met someone. So you've done that. I try.

Because the alternative is, and I think I'm pretty neurotic, is like, I'll just do the opposite. I'll be like, nothing ever, you know, I'll just go into that. Spiral, negative spiral. And that feels as true, right? Maybe it feels dumb, like, I'm having this great job that I don't have yet. But then you're like, it feels dumb to say, I'm an idiot and nothing will ever work out. I'm going to die alone. What's the difference? If you're going to make up a story, you better make up like a positive one. Yeah, I agree. Do you ever manifest? I've...

I feel like I've accidentally manifested a lot in my life. This story has been told, but I think I manifested my friendship with Kristen because I liked her from afar. Well, you also said like you knew you'd be friends. See, that's what's weird. It wasn't that I thought, I know we will be friends. It was when I was watching her on Veronica Mars and when I would see videos, I thought...

we could be friends. Like, we seem very similar or simpatico and I feel like I get her, but I didn't know her, so it's a little nuts. I,

I was also very young when that was happening. I haven't done it. I think with age, I've dropped off a little bit. And then, as you know, it was around that exact time that I was doing that where she was living in the apartment that I ended up living in. Right. Insane. I also manifested my friendship with my friend Ashley in fourth grade. I also really liked her. She was in my class. She was so cool and popular. But she was nice. And I kept thinking, like, I feel like we should be good friends.

friends. I just feel it. Then I moved schools and then in sixth grade, she was on my bus. Her parents got divorced and they moved into my neighborhood. You did that. I know. You divorced them. I made them have a divorce, which is like that part's regrettable, but it worked out. But if for the best. Yeah, it all worked out for everyone. Right.

For literally everyone, including you. For sure. I'm glad. I was waiting for that to… For that divorce to drop. So I feel like I had powers at some point. No, you still have them. They don't go away. I might still have them. I just haven't put them to use. But maybe for…

So my friend Rachel is a bit witchy. She has diagnosed herself as a witch. And she texts me when there are like high manifestation days. I'll have to tell you when she tells me that. And then one time she told me that day I was supposed to write...

on a bay leaf, whatever I was manifesting, and then light it on fire. And I lit it on fire, and then it was supposed to come true. And I don't remember what it was, but I think it came true. I believe it does, just based on all the information you've told me so far. I mean, are you satisfied or is there something you would want to manifest? There are things I want, but nothing that feels dire. Although...

I had like a whole thing yesterday. Oh, no. I just cycle in and out of this so much. Me and you have talked about it a lot, but the oppressiveness of the hierarchy of life arrangements where single is at the bottom, couplehood is next, and then family is highest. Is Pavlov's highest need? Pavlov. Pavlov.

It's a Maslow. No, I know it's Pavlov's dog. Okay, okay, great. But all this is dumb anyway. We should make a new hierarchy of needs. The synced hierarchy. Yeah, we should. Because I think we get trapped in it too. Again, it cycles. Often I'm not, I feel totally fine. And then something very tiny, totally inconsequential. 100%. So dumb.

What was the tiny thing? And then Pavlov is just like, oh, the dog is running down the street, off chasing. It was so stupid. I mean, it's like it almost feels basically there was just like a text exchange, nothing crazy, but that left me feeling so unimportant. And I know the people in the text, they don't think I'm unimportant. They think I'm important. I know that. But the series of events mixed with

Obviously, how I was feeling at the time, without knowing, probably. I was sad, but I was also mad. I was like, why is it like this? That we just decide that these things are important and that these other things aren't important. Any time family or...

or anything are involved, it immediately, of course, I mean, that's the other thing. I also get it, but the priority, like it taking full priority and also like letting so much go

go, things you wouldn't let go normally in any relationship, you let go because there's children involved. All of a sudden, it just felt unfair. Today, it doesn't as much. This is pretty fleeting. But then I get very in my head about, does this mean that I just like really, really want that? And so I'm sad I don't have it. I don't know that that's true. I think there's more to it. Again, it's coming back.

to the hierarchy, that there's like one way that is favorable or better. And I feel the same way where it'll be like, I'll be fine and then something will happen. Or again, I'm just like probably hungry or hot or something, you know what I mean? And then I'm more like emotional about something. But it's even the way that I'll be talking to friends who have kids and they'll be like, we want that for you. And it's like, oh,

I'm great. And I'm not just saying that truly as much as I do want that one day and like that would be great. My life is so rich when we're having conversations with them. It's mostly centered around the kid and it's super exciting and fun. And but then sometimes

when I ask them about work or when I ask them about friends, like there's not as many friendships and things happening in their life. There's not as much interest or ambition when it comes to work. And that's also fine. But it should just be like, oh, we're different. Yeah. And your life is one way and my life is another way. And

I think it is the one weirdly accepted form of hierarchy that we sort of continue to enforce or to believe in. It does taint your relationships where there are certain friends that I was catching up with in New York and I went on this, which I'm just going to stop telling people I'm going on dates. If it doesn't go well, you just don't want to fucking talk about it, you know? And I just know I'm going to like they're going to be dying to know all the details and like the worse it is, the better it is for them. And I'm just like it starts to create these tensions, which

shouldn't, you know, you love your friends. Like there's nothing wrong with it. No. It's just this weird dynamic and hierarchy. It's just weird once you become an adult and then these divisions start happening and there's nothing to do. Like you,

You go through most of your life without that. Everyone's on the same playing field. And then once you like leave college, these like strata start happening. It's so interesting. Your life will change. Their life will change too. That's the thing to remember too. It's like something I just come back to all the time is no state is permanent either. That's a great mantra. Okay. What was the pin you wanted? Oh, okay. So I was at dinner yesterday.

With Eric and Molly and Erica and Charlie. We went to Craig's. Yum. So good. And-

Eric is, I don't mean this to be rude, but he would say it. I would say like the least fashionable person in the crew. So he was looking at my card holder and looking at it like really closely. And he said, do you guys know that the saddle stitch is the rarest stitch? And we all just sort of looked at him like, what? Who are you? How do you know that? So he had just started this new podcast. The podcast is not new at all. It's called Acquired. Acquired.

Each episode, they do one episode a month. It's like four hours of a deep dive into a business. But he was telling me that he was listening to an episode on Hermes. And that's how he learned about the saddle stitch. And then like, you know, we're just like all sitting and he goes, would any of you ever get a Birkin bag? Yeah.

It was so funny. But then, so then on the way home from that dinner, I started it and I got so obsessed. Oh. And it was bad.

Did you binge it? Well, I binged it and then I bought stuff. Because they were talking about it on the podcast? Yes. It sounds expensive stuff. Well, Hermes is not cheap. It's indeed luxury. And also they made a really interesting point. There's an episode on LVMH. So now I'm on that. LVMH. LVMH, which is the Louis Vuitton conglomerate.

The guy who owns that, Bernard Arnault, he's the richest man in the world. Wow. I thought it was, okay. I know. I mean, that's what's crazy is you would think it's a tech person. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's him. But yeah. So I bought some Hermes stuff. And then I was getting sort of obsessed with it. And I thought, man, they should really pay. Hermes should pay these people because they're selling these fancy towels now off the hook by me. I'm buying them all. Anyway, it's very interesting. It's a really good podcast. And I really liked it. But now I'm on an Hermes kick.

It's not a cheap kick. We're so synced because I've been on a different kick. What? And it's the complete opposite, which is I'm on a dupe kick. Oh, a lot of people are on dupe kicks right now. Did I tell you about dupe.com? No.

Okay, I discovered dupe.com. It's like your version of this where I can't stop. So I was in New York staying with my friend Suraj and he got these sunglasses in the mail and he was like, let me fucking show you. It looks like they are Ray-Bans, but they're actually called Pro Acme. And I'm showing them to Don Monica right now because I obviously got a pair. They're like 20 bucks, but they look exactly like...

And it says Proacne on the thing. It says it on the thing. As where it would say Ray-Bans. Exactly. And it's the same, like they're heavy. Don't you have some Ray-Bans? I keep losing things. And I got Ray-Bans. I did get them for free at that event. And then they have disappeared. Like, I don't know. And then he was like, oh, you don't know about dupe.com? Okay, you go to dupe.com. They should be paying us. This is not sponsored at all. But let's say you see an amazing Hermes. Am I saying it right? Hermes?

Hermes. Hermes. I mean, you can say it better than me because you know French. Hermes. Oh, God. I think that's probably not how you're supposed to say it. That sounds really fancy. But I need to learn how to say it so that I can get the Birkin. Okay. Birkin is different, though. Is Birkin Hermes? Yes. Oh, okay. The Birkin bag is their classic bag. Okay. It's... You can't get it. They don't...

I can't like walk into an Hermes store and buy it. In fact, most of the stores don't have it in there. You have to basically be like invited to buy it. What? Yes. Or resale market. Like, I mean, as soon... The thing is, it's so crazy with Hermes and those bags, the Kelly and the Birkin are the two ones.

Basically, as soon as it's in your possession, it immediately increases value. Oh, I like that. It's like the opposite of a car. But a luxury car is the same. If you get like an old Ferrari, it's also probably more expensive now than it would have been. And that's sort of the difference between luxury

What I've been learning about between luxury and premium, which is, it's such an interesting world. So premium, they were saying with cars is like a Lexus, a BMW. Utility wise, it is better. Overall, nicer. But from premium to luxury, there's no jump in utility.

Oh, interesting. It's just the brand. It's hard to have. It's a symbol. Isn't that crazy? Premium to luxury. Does that apply to other things or just cars? Fashion, same thing, like the bags and stuff. There's like a level of nice bag and that would be a premium bag. And then there's

luxury brand bags. It's not that like that bag does anything that the other bag doesn't do. What can a bag do? What do we? Exactly. That's the whole point. It holds things. Yeah. I mean, there is a difference in craftsmanship. Sure. In the Hermes episode, they talk a lot about that. The

Kelly's and the Birkin's are handmade, which is insane, but it holds stuff. That's the whole point. But the same as like a car, like a Ferrari versus a Camry. They drive you places like that. That's that. But it's this symbol. Anyway, I'm learning so much. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Synced is supported by Vegamore.

I was just with a friend and she was so upset because I gifted her Vegamorm, which is like a good hack. It's a great gift. It's such a good gift. And she was like, I ran out. She was like so upset because she ran out and she could really tell. And you can tell. You do. I mean, I've talked about the eyelash serum before, but I know and I can tell and I get the same kind of anxiety when it's running low because I know that it'll look different whether

Whether it's your hair or your eyebrows or eyelashes, it just makes such a tremendous, like verifiable difference. It actually works and it's made with clean ingredients. It's pretty hard to be able to do both and they have done it. Normally there's a trade-off. Give your hair the power of the little pink bottle with Vegamore.

Support for Synced comes from ZocDoc. Okay, there's a bug going around.

People are getting it. I know multiple people who've got it. And so we just all need to be aware of

that we might have to make a doctor's appointment. And so it's so nice to have ZocDoc where you can find and book doctors who will make you feel comfortable, listen to you, prioritize your health, and it happens fast. Yes. Not only will you be able to choose your doctor based on their specialty and even look at their reviews and what other people have said about them, but you can look at it based on your location, based on when they have an appointment, right? Because sometimes you find a great doctor, but they can't see you until, you know, a month later. It's so frustrating. Or they don't take your insurance.

insurance. Like that's my favorite part of ZocDoc is that you just upload your insurance card. You don't even need to enter all the little tidbits and it figures out who is in your network and will only show you people who are in your network. So you're not spending, you know, or you have a surprise bill at the end. ZocDoc is a

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Well, anyway, you should try with a Birkin. You can't do a Birkin. Well, let's see. You put the link and then it literally figures out what the thing is. And then it shows you like all these other links, alternatives that are the same thing, but cheaper. And do they have fake names? Do they all have pro-acne? I don't think you have to get the...

Okay, this is probably the difference. If you want to date with someone and you squinted and saw pro-ag me, you'd probably be like, they would go down in your esteem. And for me, this would be a major bonding. You love it. I would be like, oh my God, you're so smart. Like, you know how to get a dupe. Well, I want to clarify. If I saw it, I wouldn't, my opinion wouldn't go down, but I would be like, well, those aren't rapes. Like, I...

I wouldn't think they were like smart for gaming the system. I would just be like, okay, well, you chose to do that. That's fine. But good for you. But I know that they're not Ray-Bans and that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But apparently it's like, if that's too expensive, which they are, like these things are. But maybe just get another cute sunglass that you like that isn't pro-acne. It also sounds like pro-acne, which I am not. Okay.

Proacne would be more funny. That's what they should change it to. To me, what was appealing was more just the quality. They do look, okay, if I had not told you. No, it is. They're heavy.

And they're polarized. Yeah, they look cute. They look like, okay, if you didn't squint, would you be like, oh, those are Ray-Bans? Yes, I would assume. Yeah, it's classy. I also think you could get that at Nordstrom, random brand. Not random.

really. I wear a dress that's a dupe of a band that I got off TikTok shop and I got it in all the colors. It's really cute. It's cute. It's comfy because that's important to me. It means I'll actually wear it. And I saw you wearing it and I did say, is that blank? It's not. You said no, which I like. So my opinion would go down. Oh, if I lied. Oh, no. No, I'm proud. I tell anyone I'm like, this is $20. Like, I feel so excited about

sharing a deal. We should look and see what the Birkin is. I'm not, I am like, I'm definitely excited. I'm going to get kicked off the potential Hermes list just by even looking this up.

Can you look it up so I'm on my search? Yeah. How do you get invited? Exactly. This is so this is upsetting. I think you probably have to put in the time, the energy and the funds. You have to go to the store and probably buy stuff over time. You have to like make yourself an Hermes customer. Oh my. Okay. So you are. Oh my God. I'm on my way.

So wait, wait, is this Birkin 30? Oh my God. Yeah, no, I know they're $30,000. It's insane. I mean, okay, so let's try. Insane. Okay, let's do the link. But see, I wasn't invited and it's letting me buy it. That's cool. No, it's not. One left. You could buy it on

On Revolve. Oh, because that's a resale market. What does that mean? People put up stuff on Revolve. Like that's probably someone bought it and resold. Someone bought it and resold. Is that a way to make money? Yes. And that's so a lot of people also invest in them so that they can resell. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Let's find some dupes. Okay, it's looking. What have you looked up? What's the most, what have you bought? Well, I've just discovered dupe.com. So I'm just starting. Suraj was showing me all of the things in their apartment that were dupe.com. That were pro-acmes. His wife, Emily, she was like, don't encourage this. Like she hates it. We are so similar and we were bonding over it of like, she'll be heading out to get a coffee. And she's like, do you, literally the bodega. And she'll be like, what kind of coffee do you want? Hot or cold? And he's like, which one's cheaper?

And she was just like, which one do you want? And he's like, are you going to Bar Bucks? Make sure you go to Bar Bucks. Bar Bucks.

I would totally go to Barbox. See, like to me, there's like a sense of pride. I've told you, my dad is like, if you're buying something full price, this was hereditary for you. Yeah, for sure. Okay, wait, instant dupes. We have a Hermes pre-owned for $16,000, 45% less. That's not that good, Liz, because if it's pre-owned, you can probably find it for real, right?

Like that's a fake Hermes that's $16,000? No, someone is selling it on Farfetch'd. But that's not a dupe. That's just the real thing. But for half price. That one probably was $12,000. Like they appreciate in value. So likely when it was purchased, it was probably like $12,000 to $15,000. And now it's $16,000. But then if you get it, doesn't it go up?

Yeah, probably. I'm not getting it. Oh, my God. If you get it off dupe.com, I'm going to die. I'm not getting anything off dupe.com. Wait, can you put in on dupe.com? The Roe Margo bag. The Roe Margo with a T? M-A-R-G-E-A-U-X. That's my therapist's name. Oh, yeah. Then I might be spelling it wrong, but you know. But it's with an O. Margo. Some people spell it that way. These are really...

They're real. I want to see the dupe version. Okay, that's interesting. So you're looking for something that's similar. Yeah, the dupe, the pro-Acme version of the Roe Margo bag. I want to know what that is. Okay, well, let's see. What if I do the link? Maybe they don't have it. I think it's trying to show you the Roe stuff because you want the Roe. Because it can hear me and knows I like it. Yeah, it knows what you like. Wait, okay. Should you put in dupe? No, I'm just going to copy paste the link.

I want this to work. I want to know, besides the Ray-Bans, what other dupes there are. For the designer stuff? Yeah, they only have the real thing. Oh, my God. Okay, wait. Let's do, like, a piece of furniture. Is there a piece of furniture you want? I don't know enough. I know, like, the Eames chair. Here's one at Walmart for $610. Oh, wait. Oh, my God.

And I bet it's just as good. No, it's not. They look good to me. 25home.com has one that looks pretty nice. It's just sourcing from places. From overstock. I'm so into this. Wow. What are you going to get next? I mean, I don't, I need to cool down. You feel like you've overdone it once you got one pair of sunglasses. God, I wish I had your brain. Oh.

one pair of $20 sunglasses and you're like, whoa. Gotta chill. I've overextended. I don't want to overconsume. You know, it's a good thing. I know. I know. I know it's good. It's good. But it's, well, happy medium would probably be better. But if I was moving or like needed like new furniture, I'm already kind of dupe.com honestly by nature. Yeah, you are. So I don't need it. You live dupe.com. I live dupe.com. The dupe.com lifestyle. Yeah, like...

You could be the spokeswoman for it. I mean, dupe.com is... Dupe.com got some free advertising from Liz. Not from me. I'm against it. I don't think it's fair. To who? To these craftsmen at Hermes. Although I don't see any Hermes dupes. That's surprising to me. Maybe it was so specific. Well, I will say, so when we were at the dinner and Eric was looking at the saddle stitch, the reason he was looking at it is Charlie had a Goyard dupe. Carly.

card holder. I don't even know what that Goyard is. It's a brand. It's a brand. And mine was also a Goyard, but mine was not a dupe. And so we were looking at them to see the differences. And so that's when Eric was looking at the stitching and stuff. And the real Goyard does have stitching. Charlie's did not. But it said Goyard on it. It's a dupe. I know it's a dupe, but it feels illegal. What if two people did synced

And then they pretended to be Monica and Liz. And they like put kind of our pictures on their cover art. You can't do that. But we're not like, I think it's fine. We're a backyard. It's going to be fine. No, we're the row. And the row is going to be fine. Like, I think. Tell that to Mary Catherine Olsen.

But also, I think I think of fashion a little more in the art space than maybe you do. I don't. You don't. I do like art, of course. But what I don't like is leaving people out. Exclusivity. Yeah. That's their whole business model. I just want to rebel against. I want to be like, no, you're not. I get that. To me, it's a win, even though it's illegal. Yeah.

It's obviously not illegal. Like, I don't know how they're— No, it is. It is, right? I mean, it is, but how can you stop people? Right? I'm sure there are lawsuits every year. Maybe it's not even worth it to them to do a lawsuit. Well, probably. I don't know. Pro-ACME is different. If it said Ray-Ban— Yeah, but I'm sure those also are everywhere. They probably go after those sellers all the time. But I'm like, good for you. Okay, I don't think you should be good for you on—

Well, I get it. But that's cheating. And I don't feel like you like cheating very much. I don't like cheating. And I don't, look, if someone has a fake Ferrari, I don't feel bad for Ferrari. I think Ferrari is fine. Yeah, because honestly, if you have a fake Ferrari, like, it's sad. Do you think that exists? No. I don't know enough about Ferrari, but you wouldn't be able to copy it exactly. Like a sunglass...

That's one thing. But there's all these details and crazy mechanics that go in that I don't think you could replicate. So many times in my life, people be like, oh my God, he had a, and I'm like, I missed it. Someone be like, he had a $40,000 Rolex. Oh, sure. I guess that has value for people, those symbols. But I feel like I miss them. I think it's good to miss them. If someone says, oh my God.

Did you see he's wearing a $120,000 watch? I'm with you on that. Like, I don't think it's cool to be just like, I'm wearing the most expensive thing in the room. But I like the way a lot of these...

expensive things. Look. And I like the way it feels when I go into the store and I like have that experience and the way it's curated and the way that they style their outfits. I know for certain that most of the time when I'm wearing like head to toe luxury, nobody knows it. Like, do you know what these shorts are? No. They're cute. But I don't want people to know that. It's complex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I...

I can't, even when I've had to go into one of those stores, like I feel- The fancy ones or any store? No, fancy ones. I feel like deeply uncomfortable. When I went to London this winter, I accidentally went into one of them because I didn't know it was fancy. And then I noticed just by the way that everyone was, and I was like, oh God, I got to get out of here. What does it bring up? Uncomfortable like-

Everything in here is too expensive or I don't belong here. Or this shouldn't exist. Like, what is it? Yeah, that's a really good question. There's something that feels like...

like you're not allowing everyone in kind of vibe. Pretty woman vibes? Maybe. I don't like, even when I'm at an event, this is maybe controversial, but like I'm kind of against dress codes entirely. No, I am. I agree. It's also race coded. Yeah, all the things. Even if they're being nice to me, I'm like, why aren't there more people in here? As we're talking about this, I'm sort of realizing the reason I like it

is because for me and my own privilege, that's something I can have, not always, but because of my privilege, I got myself to a point where that's something I can have if I want it. And there are a lot of things in this life I can't have that I want. Since that's a slice of this pie that I can have, then I'm gonna do it. Does that make sense? 100 million percent that you are denied race privilege. 100 million percent.

I don't have race privilege. You don't. That's not in your control. And I actually think I get off a little bit on walking in and feeling like they are wondering why I'm here or like I shouldn't really be here. Like I do walk in and feel that like,

oh, they aren't paying attention to me or they're like, what is she doing here? I mean, they're not, but that's like how I feel. And then I get off on, I'm going to try this on and I'm buying this. It's kind of amazing what happens to people's like faces and demeanors and you get taken seriously. It's,

Wow. I'm not saying it should be that way, but it's an interesting experiment. And it's probably all white women who typically, yeah, you feel this hierarchy and then you're reversing it. And often, and this is bad, it's older white women with a man. With a man? Yeah. The man is there to buy their thing. Oh.

Right. And so I like it. I'm like, I'm here by myself, this small brown girl, and I'm gonna buy it. Yeah. I mean, I like it when I'm with you and you're doing that. I get off of it too. I do get to watch that. And you're so cool. And like,

now that you're putting into words, I know exactly what you mean. And I don't think I had language to describe that. But that is fun. It's interesting. But we both have our lanes. Dupe.com. I can't wait to see what you buy next. I hope it's something really interesting. Me too. I will keep you posted. Yeah, I want to know. Okay, let's do some questions. Let's do it. Let's see here. Okay. Is it bad that I would rather masturbate than have sex with my husband? Anonymous. Yes.

I highly enjoy having sex with my husband, but sometimes I just want to get off and go to bed. I feel with sex is his whole production and I do enjoy it. But there are times before I go to bed when I'm feeling horny, but I'm too exhausted for sex with him. And I feel so guilty that I want to sneak away into the bathroom, use my vibrator to orgasm and then go to bed. And what if he wakes up and realizes what I'm doing? I don't want to hurt his feelings. Should I just tell him the truth and risk having his ego bruised? Do I just suck it up and have sex with him every time I'm horny? What would you do? Great question. In theory,

theory, you should be able to go masturbate and get your needs met without the whole hullabaloo of sex. Because when you're single and you're masturbating, it is for that purpose. It's to get off. It's to enjoy the feelings. But it's not about intimacy. Obviously, it's yourself. Or intimacy with yourself. Self-care or something. Right. But it's not about connecting with someone else. Exactly. In some ways,

Sex is a completely different thing than masturbating. So you should be able to do both. But I feel like what you're going to say is if you were... If I walked in, it's that episode of Sex and the City, right? Where Charlotte, what's his name? The rich guy? He had ED. He had ED, but then it was like he can't have sex and then he was masturbating. That was tough. That would be tough for me. Funny, I was thinking about this the other day.

We often think about tech and AI from many different standpoints of like it's ruining our brain or like it's ruining the experience of things. And I guess people maybe are talking about it with sex, but we mostly focus on like men and like how men are, you know, watching AI porn and jerking off instead of going out and dating women. But I don't think we appreciate how much because the vibrator in many respects is a better sexual experience. You're in control.

It works. There's no safety risk. There's no like, what is he going to say or do? Or also just not enjoy it. You're going to enjoy it because you have full control. 100%. And it'll be quicker. Yeah, exactly. And your needs will be prioritized by the machine who's like, only job is to, you know. Serve you. Exactly. I do feel like

this is a really important conversation that I was thinking about and I was like, oh, I haven't heard anyone. There's no kind of public, not that there needs to be, but more collective conversation around it. So I totally think that this is something that's happening a lot more than we think it is. Maybe this sounds obvious, but I would incorporate the vibrator into like... I know, but it feels like this is separate. She just wants to like go quickly masturbate and then be dead. Again, I...

I think a way to approach talking about it, because here's the other thing. We do not do this in reverse. Men masturbate all the time and have sex with their partners. I mean, I guess that's the thing. If you're trading off, that's where it gets different. But if you're still having sex on a

And also, oh, yeah, I think that's fine. I'm just assuming that eventually. And look, maybe he has less of a sex drive than you do, which, again, if the genders were reversed, that would be totally great. Right. Like go off and take care of yourself. I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbating while you're in a relationship. I think that if you start feeling like you are replacing it with connecting with your partner, I think that's when I would incorporate it into the bedroom.

And I would also allow yourself to be like, hey, can we have a quickie? I'm like super tired just being open about it. And I feel like guys rarely are hurt. But then she's still not getting what she wants. What she wants is to masturbate alone.

a lot or not. But, you know, she wants that experience, which is not ever going to get replaced by sex. Again, they're different. I think you can bring up in a conversation that to you, they are different, but not to you, to everyone in the world. They're two separate things. And sometimes I want that thing. It's just completely different. It has nothing to do with you. As long as I do think you have to make sure that you

not make sure, oh my God, but I think you have to be aware of how much you're choosing that over connection. But remember that that's what it is. Sex with your husband or partner isn't about the penetration. It's about connecting. So if you're avoiding that, that's something to think about emotionally. Like what's going on that you aren't

aren't wanting to connect. This is purely based on my experience. But I just think when you're in a relationship, you're masturbating less overall because you're meeting that need. Again, this is not to say it's not normal or encouraged or like wonderful, positive and healthy to masturbate. I would just be wary of

Yeah, it's a tough one. It's because I don't want to tell you why don't you want to have sex with your partner? Like, right. But if it happens a lot and again, like maybe there's something that you feel like you can do for yourself that he can't do, but maybe he can. There's something that you're not getting with him. Yeah. And that might be something worth exploring. But if you keep just handling it yourself, you'll never really maybe know. Yeah.

So yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I just think often we just say this, like if you feel like there's something off or again, that your partner's like, I feel like we're not having sex often enough, then there might be something to sort of discuss. Yeah. And just think about on your own, am I avoiding something with my partner? And that's why this just seems easier. Yes. Really good question. It's really good. Oh my God. Ding, ding, ding. My husband is hiding his ED. Yeah.

Charlotte. Oh my God. This is from an anonymous Canadian. I love it. Hi, Monica and Liz. I recently was on my health insurance app to input some receipts and noticed a medication that my husband had purchased. When I looked it up, I found out that it is used to treat erectile dysfunction. I am nine months postpartum with our second child, so we haven't been as regular in the bedroom.

But whenever we have sex, I've never noticed any problems. This felt really shocking to me as he only just turned 40 and I assumed most complications for men happen later in life. We have a really close and communicative relationship, so I was also a little caught off guard that he didn't say anything. Now that I know, I'm struggling with keeping the fact that I know a secret from him. Is this something I just keep to myself or should I bring it up? Thanks for keeping me entertained every week. You ladies are the best. What would you do? You wouldn't bring it up. I don't think I would bring it up. For him, he obviously...

has some level of embarrassment or shame around this, or he would have told you. I do think that's a bit of a myth about age and erectile dysfunction. I think it happens at all ages. It definitely does. This part sucks for men. I have heard enough stories. I do feel bad because what ends up happening is the man is struggling with this and then they can't really have sex. And then the woman feels...

undesirable. So now the man is dealing with his own feelings of inadequacy mixed with the fact that he's like letting his partner down. And this is also probably not a conversation he's just interested in having right now, or maybe even like wanting to have with himself or accepting. He's just like, I'm just going to like take care of it. Also, if he's on a hair medication, that's a common side effect. So maybe if he's on that, maybe his doctor was like, you should have this just in case because it's a side effect. Like, who

But maybe just let him come to you with it or not. I think that's appropriate. I would definitely bring it up. How would you say it? Let's role play. Oh my God. I would just say exactly what happened. Like, I totally didn't mean to look at your medication, but it just popped up. Liz, you're not supposed to look at my medication.

That's such a violation of privacy. My medication. It was in our shared app. I said I didn't want to do the shared app and you were like dying to do the shared app. Okay, I would never date this person. We would never be in a relationship. But first of all, I will say he might be. Yes, that's how defensive someone might get in this type of conversation. It's so sensitive. I might send a little text and be like, hey,

just sending this as a text so that you don't feel. But what are you hoping to get from it? I think I just would hate to know that they're struggling on their own or feel like they need to handle this on their own or feel like there's any shame. Like I just would never want them to feel that way. So it's almost just a like, hey,

hey, you don't have to talk about this to me at all if you don't want to. I'm just letting you know that no matter what, this is totally not even fine. Like I have absolutely. I love it. Yes, I love your AD. But to your point, we don't know exactly what's going on.

But we do know he does not want to talk about it. He doesn't want to talk about it. That is the thing we do know. And so to talk about it, and we all do this, and I do this a lot. I've been trying to do this a lot. Like, what is the purpose of what I'm about to do? And is it real?

really for the other person or is it for me? Because it's slippery and it could easily be, well, you know, I just don't want them to feel alone. But you're forcing him to have a conversation that he doesn't want to have, assuming that then he'll feel like you want him to feel, which is seen and, oh, I guess it's fine now because she doesn't care. Like,

It's deeper than that. You knowing and saying you know isn't going to fix the other pieces. But maybe, again, it doesn't fix, but maybe then they don't carry around this shame. But they will because it's also societal shame. It's one thing if...

while they're having sex, she's noticing. Then you say like, hey, just so you know, I saw this. It's not a big deal. We will work through it or we'll... Oh my God. Like, I don't even know the verbiage, but it's not even affecting them while they're having sex. So for her to bring it up is...

only to have a hard conversation and put him in a position where he has to think and talk about it. It's tricky. Yeah, I guess it would be based on him as a person, right? Like if you have a sense that there's shame. And again, I don't think that would be for me. Like if it's just for me, I don't want to have that conversation. Like I'm not getting anything out of

having this, I mean, that's uncomfortable for me to bring up. You personally don't want to feel like he can't tell you something. No, it's really about just, I wouldn't want my partner to feel shame or feel that there's anything wrong with that. Because again, there is nothing wrong with that. People take medication for diabetes and for depression, whatever it is. I guess the fact that he's not sharing it

suggests that, yeah, he's and again, like men kind of do tend to do this where they don't share things and they just fix it and handle it. But then it can come out in other ways or I don't think it would be for me at all. That feels uncomfortable and kind of scary of like, yeah, I don't know how he's going to react and like feel invaded. But I think I just would it would just make me sad. I think more than anything, no matter what the medication is, if it's another health issue, I just feel like, oh, my God, are you OK? Like, can I help?

There could be a mix of both. You could give him some time, especially if you're not really having sex right now. Maybe there's no reason to bring it up. Or, okay, there's a third sneaky way. Oh, God. Oh, no. Dupe.com? Dupe.com. You could be like...

Maybe I wouldn't make up a fake story, but if you have a friend who struggles, like you'd be like, oh, like I'm not going to say names of people I know. So I'm just trying to say a name that's not like Monica. I know Monica and John, they've been like struggling with, you know, because I heard that that just like sort of happens in your 40s. Basically, like

set the tone for it to be total. Yes, normal and that you have no judgment and that you are open. Oh my God, no. Then what if, then he says something to John and he's like, what are you talking about? I don't have that. Yeah, I wouldn't make up a fake one. I would find one in your... No, because if that's real, what probably is happening is the wife is telling her every scenario that I know that this has gone down in, it's extremely,

Extremely sensitive and complicated. Yes. The idea that anyone else would know, that's a no-go. Right. I also think when you're going through something where there's any kind of shame involved, knowing that other people who are just like you are also struggling can help. In this case, you probably just want to like read that on the internet. You don't want it to be like, now your friend knows. No. I know what you're saying logically. Like I agree with you, but in practicality, I don't.

It's just so sensitive. Yeah. It shouldn't be. That's the thing. I think that's why I would just want to desensitize. I know, but sometimes we have to live in the real world and not in the world we want. No, no, no, but show that I am an accepting environment. Maybe she's not. Unless, yeah, if you're not and you're like, ew, which I don't feel like I get that from the letter, but yes, if you're not, then like...

Don't pretend to be, but I would just want to communicate that and it can be done through, oh, I heard this or, I mean, it's happened to me many times. And so just being like, oh yeah, like has that ever, you know, I would just kind of bring it up. Oh my God, you're so funny. And what do they say? I don't think that's a crazy question. It depends on the person. For sure. But if you're...

living together. I mean, I mean, like she's, they have a baby. I just mean their personalities though. It has nothing to do with like how committed you are. It's about how that person will handle it. I just think these things feel very daunting and scary and ultimately they most likely end up making you stronger. It makes you connect more. Because yeah, to me again, this is just like

It's a point of connection that's not happening. I know, but that's why I'm saying I think it's about you, the person who's now feeling like, well, they don't feel like they can tell me things. That's the underlying sensitivity that's happening on your own end. I don't think so. I'm sure in many cases, but I think this is different because it's like your sex life. But it's not affecting their sex life.

Again, that's where this is a hiccup. It seems like they're just not having sex. But anyway. No, she said. To me, it's like a health issue. I think that's of like anything that my partner is dealing with or struggling with. I would just want to be there for them. But she also says we have a really close and communicative relationship. So I was a little caught off guard that he didn't say anything. So more reason. He does not want to say anything. If you have built, you guys have built an environment where you guys do talk about a lot of things. Maybe also best case, eventually he will tell you and you'll just be like, oh, I know.

And he'll be like, what? And you're like, yeah, I know. So, I mean, it's not a big deal. It's not like he has a disease or something that's going to shorten his life. Yes. If you found some sort of pill that was... Yeah, heart disease. Exactly. Then I think you have to say something. I can see that. It's hard. Let's see. Do we have any quick ones?

Oh, that's a good one, but that's not quick. Okay, we can try this because this has an A or B options. Maybe we could do this quickly. What does exclusive really mean? This is from Paige. Hey, Monica and Liz. Coming to you guys to settle another ongoing friend group debate on the topic of dating. We love to weigh in on these. Here's the situation. You've been dating someone for a while. Things are going really well and the other person asked you if you'd like to be exclusive. Does that mean A?

A, you guys are not seeing anyone else and that person is now your boyfriend slash girlfriend. Or B, you guys aren't seeing anyone else in order to see how things progress and there will eventually be another conversation where you'll decide about the boyfriend slash girlfriend title. I personally agree with the second option, but our friend group is split 50-50.

So I'd love to get the sync squad's take. Our group is made up of males and females that are both single and married, and no one gender or relationship status seems to predict which option they side with. The origin of this debate started when my sister's now husband introduced her to his friends as his girlfriend, and she was caught off guard because she's an option B girly. Obviously, everything worked out, and they have two little twin boys now, but the debate remains. Does exclusive mean boyfriend-girlfriend, or is there another conversation needed? Love you guys, and love the pod. Love you.

Love this. What's your instinct? A or B? My instinct is B. My instinct is A. Really? Yes. Brecks. Yes. We are just perpetuating the divide. During my egg freezing, I became exclusive with someone. The person I was dating.

And they said, like, I'm not dating anyone else. It was early, but at the same time, it was sort of a big buildup. And so we were exclusive, but I wouldn't introduce him as my boyfriend to people. I probably would have been thrilled to be introduced as his girlfriend. And maybe he would also. Right. But I do think, to me, boyfriend and girlfriend is probably when you start—

I say I love you really early. I'm trying to work on that, like not doing that. I feel like the I love you is kind of when it's... I love you means boyfriend and girlfriend. To me, yeah. Huh. That's really interesting. What about you? The reason I think it's A,

A for me is because the older I get, the less of the term boyfriend and girlfriend is in my vernacular. It's like gone now. I feel like I've outgrown boyfriend and girlfriend in some ways. Interesting. To me, exclusive past age 35 is...

is the new term for that. If someone asked me to be exclusive, that means then we're together. Yeah. Because we are together if we're exclusive. What else are we doing? I think there's a little period. It's an important little signpost moment. There's a period where you're exclusive and you're figuring out if it's

going to lead to boyfriend and girlfriend because there's no longer other people. To me, there's like, there needs to be, it's almost like the, what's that when you come in and there's like a vestibule? What is it in English? A boat? No.

The mudroom? Is that what people call it? Oh, yeah. Sure. Like in between the house. The foyer. The foyer. To me, like the words was the foyer. Okay. It's just the both of us. And we have to try this out for a little bit until we're boyfriend and girlfriend. But you know what's crazy is that there's so many French people in Quebec. Yeah.

eventually in your 20s you will have like a French guy era where like you're just dating there's so many French guys and what blew my mind with French guys is that you hook up like I remember like literally meeting this guy at a bar hooking up and then we hung out one more time probably at a bar like again like trashed at a bar and he referred to me as my copine no which is girlfriend and I was like

I'm sorry, what? And he was like, oh yeah, no, in France, if you kiss, that's your girlfriend. I thought French people kissed everyone all day long. I don't know. Maybe it's changed because this was the early 2000s. And please, French people, sound off. But girlfriend is not as important, like is not as high ranking as it is here. It doesn't have the same level of gravitas. Are you sure you didn't get dupes.com by him and like...

He just said that so that you could be his girlfriend? No, it was like a thing. I remember talking about it with another French, like, they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you just, you know what? I kind of dig it. Because that's how I, when I was really codependent, if on the first date, you weren't immediately like, I'm no longer seeing anyone else. I was like, bye. Oh.

Like, I know I was so nuts. Very early, I wanted to know, like, you need to commit to just at least a bit and not for a long time, but at least for the first few times, which now, you know, I've become a totally different person. I'm the opposite. I run into dates during other dates. But I think it's sweet, but it's probably codependent and bad, bad.

But yeah, this is interesting. I bet a lot of people will have differing opinions on this. Yeah, we didn't help anything because we are on different pages. But if I had a conversation with someone and the conversation was, I'm not seeing anyone else. Are you? No, I'm not seeing anyone else.

I can't imagine having then a second conversation like that about the names. I think someone would just say, this is my boyfriend or my girlfriend. Like it would happen like naturally like that after the first conversation. Yes. By the way, even though I'm a B option, I think that

between we're exclusive and boyfriend and girlfriend, it's not many months go by. I think this is a few weeks. You're seeing each other multiple times a week. You're like in each other's lives. You're meeting people in their lives. And then I think it pretty much fast gets to, okay, make a break. If it's for a few months of like, we're exclusive, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend, I think that's a little weird. Like what does that even mean?

mean when you're exclusive and you're not boyfriend and girlfriend? I mean, I know you're in the foyer, but like doing what? Hanging out and like staring into each other's eyes. Why isn't that boyfriend and girlfriend? What happens once you become boyfriend and girlfriend that's different? The security of knowing, which I don't feel you know when you're just exclusive. Huh. Okay. I see how this is tricky. I also think it's

all off vibes. I've never really been in a situation where it's been, we've been completely on a different page. Yeah, I can't remember like the first time I called someone my boyfriend. Like, it's so funny. I guess you just at one point... It's just natural. Yeah, it just happens. Apart from middle school and high school, that is how it happened when it was like, will you be my girlfriend or will you be my boyfriend? Even early 20s, I think people would do that. But...

No, in your early 20s, there was no work exclusive or not. You just cut straight to that. It was so easy back then. I hate it here. It's so... No, you're manifesting good stuff. I am, I am. Sorry, yeah. You love it here. I love it here. I love it here. I love it here.

Okay, well, let's end on we love it here. And we love all of you listeners. Thank you so much for writing in. Please keep writing in. These questions just get better and better and better. I was literally going to say that. It's so incredible. It's so good. We're so lucky. And we love you guys. Love you. Love you. See you next week. Bye. Bye.