Money Is About More Than Math, You Can’t Put Peace Into a Formula
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Live from the headquarters of at ramsey solutions. It's the ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create amazing relationships. I am racal cruse hosting at this hour with my good friend of best in aur doctor john.

And we'll be answering your questions all about like money, relationships, uh, anything and everything. So give us a call at tripoli. Eight, two, five, five, two, two, five.

We're going to start off with greg and houston, texas. hi. Greg welcomes to the show.

Hello, thanks for having me solution.

How can we help?

So ah my wife and I ran into a situation with family and we wanted to know if we are wrong, our selfish uh for not allowing our family members to come and use our vehicle for two weeks and conjunction with their holiday.

Vic, greg, no, what? I'm just kidding. Why would you think you're in the wrong there?

We live far away. They haven't seen us in a while. We have a new baby do. And all of those are kind of some of the circumstances that let us to kill back as we do want to see them. But I was in.

how did they are are flying in and they don't want car for two weeks or what? What's the scenario?

Yes, there was a little bit of like their financial planning and they said, hey, we wanted come see you and we're gona fly in. Will spend a couple days for you but um if it's okay, no is IT not but we would like to use your vehicle for a couple days to go around the state of texas, see other family and then will bring you back and then leave for a little bit and fly back to their home. And I always have to call with her family and immediately set up we we really don't comfortable but i've talked to grancy and ultimately we were very alive but IT but her in that our decision were not gonna family for the .

holidays with a new baby but they said they said since we can bar your car for our texas tour um we're not coming at all forget you guys will .

do that .

all you need to know because .

they can't afford, I guess, to they can .

afford to come visit .

yeah yeah but .

they can't they're not going to come if they can turn IT like a muli multi family tour and you're .

not going to foot the .

bill for OK yeah ah greg.

let me I doesn't .

doesn't make you feel like guys understand even the question, greg, because I probably would feel that way.

I erway from so people that see, you know, family during the holiday. And so I made her stressed out and we were like, but you know, we just now were like, we made the decision and they said, well, we're not going to be able to, we just want to a dot of check. And we felt like that answer you gave us was right. But you know, there's still that that dealing of like that. We really wish we could have something different.

I guess what I really wish is I really wish a her parents to her family, wanted to actually see this newborn. E they don't. They wanted to use this newborn as an excuse to come to town so they could take a two.

And the whole things are silly. But like the meter here is, and by the way, you're gna face this for the rest of your time together. Different fAiling members who want to use you guys for their different expectations are the different pictures of what they want their life to look like. Um just make peace with whatever boundary feels right, you guys, as you're got to do that and whether I think it's stupid or Rachel thinks this stupid IT doesn't matter and it's what works for you guys and almost every boundary comes with the cost yeah just think sometimes and hate for you well and I .

think that would be another thing, greg, I will come and you know one of the evenings we're gona drive and see some of our own friends, whatever whatever done the street. Can we use your car for that night? You do me like if it's if it's like a twenty four hours, I don't know.

but for a week two.

eight, five days and beyond, I know like we need our car.

Yeah and and we're actually plugin along with our baby steps and our both of our cars are paid off and they have mine has over two hundred thousand and over hundred thousand yard .

that word like if there .

is the main issue. And now we're working on our emergency savings, though, but now we're going to have to ask that bad. And obviously, if they didn't have the funds to get a room themselves, they're not going to be king in. Greg.

this isn't about a rino car because it's not like Rachel said, it's not like they were going to fly there and they just needed a car to get around town because then I would tell you, do you have two cars and your wife not driving anywhere little about your car? This is they wanted to use your home as a, as a landing place for them to take a two week tour around the state. And for those who don't know texas, you can drive fourteen hours one direction and not get from one side to the other, right?

yeah. So it's not like you're .

going road island and you can make a lap on the whole state. Number two, this is like major travel. Thousands of margin from the car.

I guess I want you go to internalized. They aren't not coming because they can't afford a rental car. They're not coming because you would not let them use your houses, a landing pad for a big two week vacation.

And that's something to grieve. yes. right. Did you write, call limn and say seriously not coming to see the birth .

of your new grandchild? No, he has. He has not done that. I'd recommend that.

why? Um sometimes people hold a boundary down and they get stuck and then people responded that boundary and they get stuck. And then you got two people making up stories about the other side of that boundaries.

And it's it's hard to like is hard to go find in olive branch. And I always want to know if I have a boundary and somebody responds poorly to IT. I always want to make sure that they are responding in the way that the story i'm making up about them.

right? right. So are you guys really not onna come because of a car? Are you are really not gna come because you can't change listen to a two week vacation? Um just actually want to clarify, you don't want to see the birth of your first grandkid because of this .

is that and .

let them be adults and respond .

back and it's not a guilt trip .

on them is a clever .

it's a clarification so that you, greg in your wife can get the full information from their side say, okay, that's really what that I mean as they stumble through figuring out their response to IT it's yeah IT gives you a level of clarity and a piece in the puzzle in this kind of conflict situations to say, okay, this is the truth and this is what i'm hearing from them and now I can take IT and yeah.

I was recently talking to a Young professional and they got cross to the really close friend and really, really closed friend bombed a bunch of text messages in a way that was at a character and that person was clearly going through something else. And then there was kind of a costive like no fly zone. And I got awkward in weird and then my this this Young professionals like they told me, don't want talk ever again.

So I get that this is your best friend, your old friend. Um it's been two or three weeks in the message, the decisions, you miss him and if they have already talk because IT gives them a chance to go. O did I had a bad night?

I sent a bunch of crazy things. I hung up the phone. I got mad. Give him a path back. And if they then don't respond, then all of your story, your stories, appeared to invite you got, got agree with, and you got to move on from there. Yeah.

OK. In twenty seconds, john, talk three, setting up a boundary with families because holidays are coming. What is IT written down? Clear community in the gone house.

We write him down. We detail them. By the way, there is a trend now, which is to cut off all family for any mean thing.

They said twenty five years ago, if you, if at all possible, if you can go see your family, be with your family, if you can find that in your heart to forgive yourself, don't go to abusive situations, of course, but if they have different politics and you are to eat weird fit, go see your families for crying out loud and just know it's good. It's not going to be perfect. That's good.

This is the room to show.

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So the holiday season is here officially. We are in november. I'm about I want to put up my Christmas story all next weekend.

I can't wait. Is that like .

a controversy? Oh yeah, yeah, yes. Some people are like the .

anti before thankfu giving. Oh yeah, you hate gratitude. It's not your thing.

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go get IT .

guys of next. We have jazmine in long island, new york. Hey, jazzmen n welcome to the show.

Hi rhal. Hi jone. How are you .

guys good doing?

great.

How can we help? I have a budgeting question on. So I right now, with the holidays coming up and in my life, all the birthday just top up from september to december um but I often baby step too so I really just trying my question is how do I budget first self for exact?

If do I know if should be because only seventies. I don't know if I shouldn't be putting my my thoughts into that. Just not not be budgeting great or at all so I really entirely sure what to do um yeah i'm thirteen, two thousand and debt and I make around seventy. I don't I don't pay and you right or anything like that like and I back home, I like I started this that every dollar oh, good last on september you and tell me about the who .

are the people in your life like who's have in the birthdays and for Christmas? Who would you be in charge of buying gifts for? Like do you have kids of your own or these are needed in a few?

No, he would hit my brother in law, my boyfriend, my set mom, um my best friend and and Christmas would be we're doing a secret sand for Christmas. So I Normally that's that's fine that i'll just do the secret fence that I have like three secret thing and a part of a at work and myself finds that work important and I exchange kids or um at at my house we're doing a secret sea, but then I always end up my oh I really so bad sure not getting this person something or they got me something. It's like I also have OK you have such events that I want to go to that, okay, can I get my hair done so ff, and force my hair not tube.

So I had I had to think of.

I had to come out a lot of things and I just feel guilty. I feel like.

yeah so I think so here's the deal. I think the um you're looking at this a little bit of a short term perspective like here in the next six days. Here's all these things that I have to do and the people have to buy for.

Just remember that four years from now, no one's probably going to remember this Christmas, right? I mean, like so so if this Christmas looks different, which is going to be in IT, should Jason, if you're on if you're doing that, that snow wall, it's going to look different than Christmas. When you weren't budgeting and when you learn in debt and you weren't paying attention with your money, it's going to look different.

So how different is IT going to look is the question. And I I just, uh, jade warshaw said at this on the show last year, and I I just owned IT too. I think adults don't need to buy adults gifts. I think brother in law is fine, like brother in law has a job hopefully and can buy brother in .

the stuff for and lots to get.

No, I just think I could. I hear people just me all the time. I mean in a similar similar your situation as you and y're like, well, my ap reda and my ap reda can buy her own blind derling like we don't need to be funding adults and like hoping, do you know, in saying, like I understand the generosity piece, I get that.

And if it's maybe something small and sentimental that meant something maybe saw funny coffee mug and I was like, h that's funny because it's like the since joke at seven dollars, right? Like if you want to do something little bit. But this idea that we have to be somewhat even extra against, you know, fifty plus for adults in our lives, I don't know. I not about IT.

I'm not about IT. So we call her fun rule. No.

i'm the fun one out of every all the personalities. So if i'm saying this so so get .

about in terms of like here, for example, because I if I wanted to get my hair down, if I needed a hair quite like I I .

allowed yeah I mean, yes, yes. I would say, you know basic necessities, right are gonna be in your budget throughout this debt free period now is are you going to different versions .

of because my wife gets don't yeah I mean.

I mean, I would say I wouldn't go if I were getting at a dead. I would not pay for, uh, like an update, like to get that done for a party specifically. But if you teach her hair cut and collard in life, I would put that in the budget while i'm getting out of debt.

I would not wait.

Are you everything you would buy a brother in law gift?

Oh, no. Was I like? Just no. Because you use the thing and adjustment hold of you.

I'm twenty two. okay. This is the rest of your life. There will always be another thing, right? So as soon as the new year comes around, there's gonna a something with the election and then there's going to be we have to all go get drinks because we're sad, we're really happy and then there's going to be somebody's .

birthday and your neck .

he's gonna have destiny cookies that you want you to order for school and the his clear net program is always going to be a thing. And unless you draw a line in the same and say, right now I am broke because I my network is negative, like I have less than zero when IT comes to my name.

I do have a salary that comes every month, but I have less than zero until you draw line in the scene and say I at least have to get to zero and get to aware if anything happens to me, i'm going to be OK, then you're not a place to buy gifts. And i'm telling you this, as i'm twice your age, i'm down the road. There's just always I feel like the older we get, the more these we have to use. Just accelerate and accelerating.

get more expensive because it'll be friends getting married brighten's main special at parties, weddings, babies. I mean like yet that why continues .

thing you'd find out of this dudes, for real your boyfriend tell them we have to do the most loving gift for each other for the holidays and I can cost no money. Competition on ready go .

ay and I have .

one worry .

i'm taking um how do I do when .

there's like .

five parties I get paid for every thursday and freak in october has five thirty days in a month. Do I treat the last week a part of november? Or because i'm not sure if I should see an extra money or that could they obviously, how do I really view that?

yes. So you would look before the month begins and see how many weeks are there and then total up. How much am I going to make for that month when you are budgeting in september four october, you would have look to see to say, okay, we have five weeks in october coming in and i'm going to use that income of those five weeks to be my the top of my october budget.

So IT doesn't matter when you get paid, it's how much you get paid throughout the month. So sometimes you may get paid less because of where the payday hits within the week. And if that week is technically this month or last month does make sense.

So if I have like a my turn will, for example, comes out on the on the second that before the payday in november that I take that I would .

use october money and to fund that to fund for the second yep, uh, do you have yeah do you have every dollar premium, Jason? Yes, okay, yes. The paycheck planning part of every dollar premium is exactly what you're talking about.

And that's going to help you if you go into that function. I think it's only on desktop, so good on your laptop and do IT and it's able to you're able to list out what win all of your bills hit. So exactly like that. Your insurance is like the second I know you don't have rents, but you say you have a mortgage and IT comes out the tenth and then you have um you know all your cable and electricity comes up the twenty years like so you're able to actually see win dow built hit wind.

Is my paycheck come in and do I have enough with that paycheck, two funds that week or that two weeks and make sure that I don't go into the red so the paycheck planning part of every door premium will help and it'll show you like Green or red, like I like literally walk you through IT, which is so great. So make sure to check that out. Thanks for the call.

I've been doing this show for over thirty years. Some of the sad calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable.

Yeah and it's so hard as I feel like one of those, especially the ones that i'm like a it's terrible air people that call in and their spouse has passed suddenly and they don't have life insurance when you have to think through how I going to pay my bills in the middle yeah in the middle of all that grief like just IT is it's terrible to life insurance is the thing, especially a mom with three little kids, so big on for people to give because it's inexpensive. Thunder is the place that once and I actually get all of our life insurance.

And IT doesn't because ander shops among a gazillion, an different companies. IT does not cause much. You just have to admit that someday you're not gonna be here. You got to say that out loud and you got to say, i'm going to say, I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put the stuff in place. The costa stinking pizza to get a free quote call eight hundred three, five six, forty two, eighty two that's eight hundred three five, six four to eight two are go to sander dot com.

Welcome back to the rami show. Wanna start off with the James and ontario, canada? Hey, James welcomed .

to the show. Hello, you.

hi. We're doing well. How can we help?

no. okay. So I am doing my first formal budget, and I say formal because intuitive ly, I had a good sense of what was going on from paycheck to paycheck. But this is the first time when what what got me into every dollar was something that you said when I first discover you like last week, which was a budget enables you not to feel guilty about um uh putting money aside for certain things and I thought that i'd like that because I always held guilty saying, no, we can do this no, we can do that because I had an intuitive sense which was roughly correct so my met income from my own income coming home with thirty six hundred a month and pretty much all of that goes to the mortgage a glossy at edra.

But then we have another eighty hundred from our child benefit that we've been using to upgrade our house that we purchased in twenty twenty one uh because it's an old house hand. So the windows needed doing so we did that and the uh the insulation is doing. We did that and he gets two minus forty here, so we needed to not in the winter.

And now that those upwards are done, that child benefit of eighteen hundred is effectively spare now. And IT just never occurred to me what to what to do with that, though. I just never had budget.

I pretended like my income alone was the only income I had. And now this is actually tripping. Yup.

I actually have some money. I have some money to good problem. James h. James, do you have any consumer debt?

No, was just the mortgage. And ninety four thousand.

right? Okay, good for you guys. Do you guys have money saved in a bank cash? yes.

Ah, yes. So what we have about a fourteen thousand dollar emergency fund.

right?

And we have twenty thousand dollars just kind of sitting there waiting for something to do.

Okay, good for you guys. So yeah, I mean, if if I were you in this situation, I would start investing. You're at the point with investing, and I know some um investments look different in canada than here in america, but I would still I would still reach for that fifteen percent of your income.

And so when you start doing that, some of that maybe taken out of your paycheck if it's pretext or post tax. So I would account some of that, that would probably into investing your kids. Are they out of the house? You have ones still living with you there.

Five, three and one.

okay? Also, you have little ones. okay.

Have you guys have ones? And another one on .

the okay great .

looking far into the future that is part of um how I want to arrange this for you and .

yeah .

um and another factor, this questions were too pronk because part like the other pronk of this question but IT makes sense to pay off the mortgage early and the reason i'm asking that is when we first moved here I did what I thought was an a really thing. Go up and down all the streets around saying, hello, how are you on the new neither and that is not really gone anywhere in terms of us meeting neighbor's or people or anything. But when I visited my hometown, we made friend's red ways because I thought that was me the long time, I guess, for just for horrible people. Nobody likes us, but no IT part of this area just isn't working for us.

OK me somewhere else? Yeah, yeah.

yeah. And how to prepare for that because I not really sure what i'm getting into and I don't want to make this stake again because I thought this would be right for us and incredible isn't sure.

Well, um you know is always hard when you're moving somewhere to know what the chemistry is within the neighborhood, in the neighbors. So I feel like that is that that's a hard thing. It's kind of a gamble always when you're buying a home, you know not knowing exactly what the community is like.

Um but yeah so I me if that's not in the near future, then I probably would put some of this at that point towards the house. But I would also be thinking about these four kids and their futures education wise and I live that so putting some money away for that as well. So I would ably divide this sap a little bit in different ways.

I would be using some of IT for investing. I would be using some of IT for a kids future. And whatever that looks like for you guys, I don't know it's four year university or you know whatever is for them are putting some inside there.

And then if you do have anything extra, ya you can do out of the mortgage. But also I mean you guys make an thirty six hundred a month, is that right? A thirty six hundred .

for my incomes that another eighty hundred from the child yes okay.

yes. So forty four hundred um total so and I mean four hundred fifty four hundred yes yes. This is say i'm sorry. yes. And yeah I mean overall I would say you you could even take some of these two, James um and and up your lifestyle little bit if you guys you need some room for the baby coming and having some some money set aside a to upgrade some baby's stuff if you want that. So a bit a little bit of this as well, percentage wise. And you and your wife can decide on what that is, you know, put in your monthly budget just to give you guys a little bit of breathing room, baby, in the food categories or or whatever IT is.

Well, yeah, I mean, we budget most of my budget had fifty dollars for restaurants per month, and we basically never go out and buy all our foods on with fifty percent stickers.

So yeah, I would put some back to loosen that lifestyle. Yep, I would, yep, put that, put some of that back in the budget to spend as well.

Can we talk about the most concerning part of this call? For me.

a head explain .

forty degrees below zero to me.

IT doesn't always happen.

I'm from taxes. That sounds like like in taxes, they teach you that helps. Not hot, it's actually cold. And IT sounds like, yes, can you go outside or just die?

You you won't die if a bundle up welling up so i'm time and central canada where IT gets that cold, but it's drier used to drive you go time. If you want not well enough.

you're okay. It's a dry, cold OK took on and a druid and IT .

purses right? Throw you. I did not even walk out the door. And since our house still leaks air, even with all the upgrades, we're always jackets and blankets on inside during the winter anyway. So we we have this thing to see how .

they have that there is called fire. And I just warms up. You all should get that.

We don't have a .

fireplace in here either. OK man a, well, I hope that helps change. Congrats on the baby. On the way, it's very exciting. Almost could have a social question, john. We got back up from facebook and he says, what are some positive ways to redirect spouse that continues to push off opportunities for easy earned income?

Go see that again.

What are some power? She's bca. What are some positive ways to redirect spell s that continues to push off opportunities? He has doesn't to work and she's like, oh god, that's an easy way to make some .

money and he stop talking about your husband as though he's a doodle that is, the positive direction is what you say to those designer dogs that god never intended, that people in suburbs to create one. I know.

put a poo something.

and I put a kind animal, create an animal. And guys, what doing? Show me the problems to solve. But so I don't talk about your husb like a positive direction.

I think you sit down and you have a harder conversation about what is this money for, what are we trying to accomplish together and how we're going to get there. Um IT IT can be an easy like hair. Life's good.

We're paying off for dad or we've got everything okay. And then somebody offers a thousand weeks to come to a job and need to go. I don't need that.

Your partners, they're going. It's a thousand knowledge, not do a lot of work. That's a values conversation is not a money conversation. If your husband's just sent on not working and playing fortnight, that's a different conversation, right? But let's stop with the little direction. I don't know that how do we gently redirect our husband who either a won't provide or b um or she's I or a .

personal I so it's just say every you know if they're trying to get out of debt, if they don't an emergency fun and she's like all my gosh, we got to get on this have .

that yeah if that's IT.

But then if you're on the other end of IT and you don't have to write, there's a job for a thousand books and you're like.

I here at home with you .

guys and but what is hard to some spouses are more what is utilitarian s like it's just like this idea like, oh my gosh, how could you not go an opportunity like they're so driven they see, oh my, this time to what you're going to make. Why would you not anything that was crazy that can happen to sell things back up for your question, this is the rems show.

This show, sponsored by Better help october, is the season for wearing costumes and masks. But let's be honest, a lot of us hide our true selves behind a mask and costumes all the time. We do this at work.

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If you feel like you're stuck hiding your true self, I want you to consider talking with a therapy. Therapy is a place where you can be honest with yourselves. You can take off the costumes and take off the mask and learn to live an authentic life.

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Welcome back to the ramsey show. I am racal cruise and with me today after john delon ey and today's ramsa network, APP question is from Mason and he asks, I would like A A reasonable explanation on why you only recommend a fifteen year mortgage. Why should I take a thirty year old end up extra cash into an etf, earning ten to twelve percent? And at the end of thirty years i'd leverage my health and pay IT off. Also have around seven hundred .

thousand dollars who spend from my investments. We go, wow.

just change, change your whole policy. No, so maxon the the the biggest goal, what IT comes to your money, one of the, well, not the biggest one of them starting out is to become debt free as soon as possible. And so for a lot of people, journey of even paying their house off, which is obviously the largest asset most people have IT can take around nine years.

And so there is a psychological change that occurs when, you know, here is my payment. And even though my intentions are good on a thirty year to either pay IT like it's a fifteen, put what would have been on the workers, but now I can invest that money instead. Know all of those are good intentions.

And what we see over and over again is that human behavior can definitely trump what we had plans and things come up, life happens. And if you think over you know ten, fifteen, twenty years, thirty years, there's a lot of life to happen. So um the probability that you would actually do this, write IT and do IT every single month consistently is probably pretty low considering the we're talking about thirty years, thirty years.

So the idea of of doing the fifteen, I mean, it's just there's mathematically is faster IT forces you into a faster payment plan. And then when people are doing the baby steps and they get to this step, they are paying IT off in nine years versus fifteens. You'll be paying IT off earlier or now some people I know get a thirty year because the rate is Better than you know, the payments is more reasonable for the budget, right? There's a lot of different reasons.

But again, it's it's putting systems in place that the rythm of your money in your life will get you to where you wanna go as fast as possible. And that's the fifteen over the thirty. And what's what about mortgages to? Is even an extra payment, one extra payment on a thirty year mortgage on half a million dollar house at like a four percent interest rate, you paid off four years faster and you save IT was like I think close maybe sixty thousand dollars in interest, one extra payment a year that's on a thirty.

So if you imagine a fifteen in doing that in extra or doing for extra payments a year, right? Like you can just see the map is just yeah, when you're talking about a housing, you're talking about a mortgage and interest in time, it's just big. So when you can like condensate and do IT as fast as possible, you're gonna .

Better off well. And I think it's important. Call this up. And i've noticed this among like georgia, which called the finance brows, like the guys with the spread sheet that they roll out thirty years and they put all these assumptions in there. They've never read a some to love, and they have never experiences the pain of in the whole thing collapses, right when IT crashes and when the rural al costa goes way, way, way down. Or when you lose your job or your wife gets cancer, when your kid passes away, you have to move, you get laid off, whatever. And I think if your if your goal in life is to school eze every last potential gap between an interest payment and a potential earned return on some sort of fun that you're trading, knock your lights out, not your lights out, and will be here when you react when you have taken call after call after call of somebody saying he taking my mom's house away because SHE filled in the blank, or my wife and I have to move to go take care of my dad .

because he fell and .

now we have data my if if your goal is to always be looking for the spread and try to cover spread this, this isn't what we're trying to sell you. We're trying to sell you as a total, total rejection of that way of thinking. We're trying to sell you something that the american household no longer has, and that is peace.

That is the ability to sleep at night. I will gladly, gladly cash out the gap between a thirty year mortgage and fifteen year mortgage right now, which is in a town right the sec. And in fact, I think the thirty year mortgage rates may be less than the fifteen years because they are trying to sell those because they can hold onto him no longer.

I would gladly sell that over this, this imaginary thirty year return I would have on this little bit of money if I constantly did this every month for thirty years. And nothing bad ever happened. My family, right? yeah.

I would gladly trade that gap from knowing that, knowing could ever take my house away, period ever. And I call up my sleep tax. It's my soul tax.

I just I just walk around knowing you can take my house. Yeah no matter what happens, my mom gets cancer. My wife passes what they cannot take my house. And so if that's not what you're into, there's no math problem that we're going to sit down in map at alpha a right, right?

Because that's that's the thing to about paying your mortgage off early because we hear kind of similar argument, oh, go why I pay IT off early, but I not just invest that money. If I have this money, it's making more you know in the market versus my two percent interest rate that I got ten years ago.

Why would I ever unplug something that's making that much to throw at debt that's only like a two to three percent interest rates? And it's the exact it's the exact same thing because peace and you take my comest doesn't show up on a spirit sheet. IT just doesn't.

And we had our money and marriage weekend last weekend here with about six hundred couples or so, and there were a lot on baby step seven, which means theyve paid off their house. There was a good amount of almost kind of surprise when I was asked him what baby step everyone was on. There was a good amount of baby seven and like, oh, wow and I said, okay, so for those of you that paid off your house, keep your hand up if you regretted zero, zero hands were .

still up yeah .

because it's like, no, you when you really don't have a market payment, you're not like dad government. And if you are still, you can always borrow back on your equity and go in investor right now, you can always get back into that because there is something to be said about about us as people are. Our human soul at a very, very deep level rests in a place that does not show up on an excell, doesn't.

And so we talk more about the person, then we do the math on the show because we really believe in the people we believe in you. If you're listening or watching, you are these solutions to your problems. You are the one that's gonna choices in your life, like empowering who you are as a whole person, not the little financial geek over here.

You as a whole person, as a, as a son, as a daughter, as a husson, as a wife, as a mom, as a dad, as a friend, like all these elements of you, money is just a part of IT. But on this show, it's the thing that is up being magnified into a lot of our dis function is what we end up saying. And so you can't forget you are a person, you are a whole person and that peace is part of IT. It's not always the math.

And to you leverage people, you're going to go read window berry, you're going to go read. And to love people who love risk because I love risk, but the the goal of risk I actually do i'm kind of a conservative, Christy, but I love IT um the thing that the modern kids that are all into like risk and level jung going to go is you can't leverage something that if the risk doesn't pay out, you lose at all, right?

And there's no Better way to risk when you have a house, when you are your own bank and when your kids school is taking care of brother got a vegas, then you can play right, then you can start doing these things. But this leverage, there's a fault room to leverage. And a year falcon is your home.

Did they're gonna come take your house. The market doesn't ride balls forever. They will come take your home. And that just tells me you watch a lot of instagram and a lot of tiktok and you have make use ChatGPT to make some cool excel algorithms.

You don't understand what it's like to sleep in a house that you don't own money, what that is, and they can take your house away. All about leverage, more about the risk. I love IT, but I don't risk mom wife's house.

I just don't. And when you get that through your mind, then you can play these well that i'm going to leverage my house and pay IT off. But ever play that game after you have you've covered the .

ground floor and I think that's part of the most number two, you know that that the seven hundred grand you know that he has you know typed out, you know there's something about also just chasing money to a degree that there is a level of emptiness out there. All money is not a god. IT is not a night.

IT will not fulfill you like it's not. But IT also will destroy you if you don't have piece around this. So getting yourself in a healthy position mathematically is very smart.

But what we want you to do, but then on top of that, knowing that IT has a placement in your life that you're not constantly chasing because the finish line, the finish line, Mason is always going to move, is always going to move. So content ment is key in this as well. Thanks to everyone, all the guys in the booth and Taylor.

Thank you, Taylor and john for a great, a great segment. Thanks amErica for listening. This is the rams show.

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In hawaii, we have john. Oh, john, I had the wrong button, so sorry. Hey, john, welcome to the show. Hello, welcome, welcome. How can we help?

Hi, thanks. So thank you. Take my confer stuff. Um but insurance payout about around seven thousand minus five thousand. And I never really kind gotten a something like this. I am a little in that um IT before I knew my injuries happened, I wasn't no debt, not twenty of savings, was not able to be much survive and I made some advice. And you are looking at a investing that to myself of my career, of eating the rest of my pilot and sing and um open the opportunities for for that to come out. And the second thing i'm talking about is maybe buy a house or property, but the fact of what i'm seen in the market and eight percent interest rates pretty much scaring .

yeah what happens? What what, uh, happened that you got this payment OK. I I was .

injured and and I getting pretty much insurance pay out due to this injury, had to go through little bit of a time to get like super gono.

Are you okay how you do?

Now a couple of, O, K, I had to read thing, and I .

am.

but mostly back to a hundred percent. Yeah, I was, is pretty, was pretty.

pretty bad. So you've got some huge plans for the seventy thousand dollars, seventy grants, a lot. But but you mentioned, like education by an house, get a pony buying a drag.

And like you ve got a lot of plans for this money. My first question to is almost all insurance payments. They're not a lottery winning. They are to make you whole are you going to need a new replacement down the way? Are you going to continue to need extra medical treatment or physical therapy or counselling down the way .

that to put some of his money aside for I do not believe so um there should be no, there should be no other treatments more about this, keeping myself healthy and taking care of myself, which is I am very goal oriented on doing for .

the futures .

so what kind .

of dead do you have currently?

Um it's maybe about um thirty thousand power minus um a few grand. And before I need this happened.

I was in zero debt. okay. And what is that deck consist of?

Okay, I know I know all. I'm paying IT down very quickly now that i'm i'm back at i'm working .

right now. So been tty is that IT is a thirty thousand. Is that all medical or is there credit card dead? What kind of dead is IT?

right? So um about ten grain of IT is about uh personal loan, which is about five percent interest.

Okay.

why did you take that out? And the that was the actually kind of IT was uh little bit to put in in my savings and a little bit to pay off the reconsolidation .

credit t OK. okay. And was the credit card dead due to the injury because you couldn't work and you as were using than that to to get by? Or what was .

the credit card that no, no got person well before at the injury, I sustained .

this .

injury. O K O K O K.

O. So ten grand personal loan. What's the .

other r ti is credit card. Let's ranging between three different cards, not maxed out yeah anymore, anywhere between fifteen percent. And that my highest one is seventy seven, eight, nine.

okay. So what I would advise you, john, to do is, yes, I would pay off this this thirty gram, like today, I would get, I would be completely up free, and I would take the rest of the forty, and I would take some of IT and created emergency finds. I would produce six months of expenses just because of what you walk through. Do you have money saved?

Yeah, already have that already. I felt the first thing. And when I got back towards.

okay, how much is the next?

About ten. okay.

So k, if you, if you need to bump IT up, any u can just to cover that for six months. So my word of caution for you, john, is whenever we hear someone that gets a lump sum and IT could be from an inherited tance, that could be an insurance payoff. Like what you're explaining to us know some people like this like massive like you know tax refund to like whatever IT is and it's a lump sum.

I would use IT obviously to pay off the step. But I say that with a word of caution because sometimes when you go when and just you to get this, I want to say free money because you went through hell and all the stuff, like I am not, say it's free, but essentially you you're being handed seventy thousand dollars and nothing, nothing about john, changes mony wise with your behavior, with your habits. So people that work their way out of debt, like if you didn't get the seventy and you are working your way out of that thirty thousand, something changes in that process like the feeling of that sacrifice, understanding like you're cutting expenses, it's hard.

It's not always fine. But man, you're doing something. You're paying a Price to win. And when there's a lump sum like this, you don't always feel that emotion. And that feeling, I do think, is important blood experience because that changes you. And so while, again, I would pay this off today, I would take this money and pay off that thirty grand. I just want you, john, to promise yourself, are you married?

Um I am divorce.

You are diverse. okay. No, that's fine. So I would promise yourself promise yourself that you're not going back into debt. I'll be cutting up the credit cards. No more loans like we're not doing this again.

And if you can draw that hard line in the sand, I want you to do that as you're paying the dead off with this lumpsum that you're getting. Um but do you hear that caution that that the behavior of you is what's going to allow you to wind down the road and your behavior isn't necessarily gonna change through an experience of sacrifice? Does that make sense?

Yes, absolutely. Without any sacrifice, you don't really gain anything. And before I was even that most of this credit card death and in right now is actually from my injuries from print of trying to IT.

So I took over two years to get everything like turn back into Normal. And that not saving, I had A, I had no problem hard that a good savings ahead. Cryo, you and I don't know, like that down now?

No, that's great. Sorry, john ve got to go to to a hard break. So yeah, so again, that forty that's left .

but check local taxes because you have to pay state federal taxes yo, maybe if that's all you get out of this thing.

So yeah, look into that and then I would probably yeah, if you want to go back and get your pilot license and not something like career wise, if you're looking at, I would definitely be yeah think that's great. Thanks, john, for the call. Glad are OK. This is the rem g show.

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Welcome back to the rand zy show. We are taking your calls at triple s eight two five five two two five and next up we have marry in chicago elano y hey mary.

welcome to the show.

Doing well. How can we help?

Um so my question um regarding our financiers and now he just got a new job um be making like one hundred and forty thousand here um and one up from about fifty .

a while and big jump yeah yeah they .

just finally.

what's he doing? What happened?

Well, he was kind of his own in construction and just he was very good all over the place. Some day's working some day is not and just wasn't consistent enough. So OK no Better job. You know forty hours a week constantly and them yeah wow.

good for him.

Yeah yeah much Better um opportunity for him. Um so my question like even now with this one, he has no kind of a retirement into IT. What's all on us? Um we have very little because of not making any money in the past. We have about eighteen no but seventeen eighteen thousand and I was say in um debt credit .

card OK um .

IT is a zero percent um I have the money stay away and I know you guys say to paid off but I just always scared me because until now we didn't have IT and I just know stashed money kind of um so I know I could pay that uh I have about thirty five in cash so I could pay that off and can I start from there I guess yeah but like I said, zero percent and I I know I should pay IT I look I said just cares me um so my question really is like how do we invest kind of for our future retirement um because he doesn't get any of that in order yes okay.

Um what does he say about all of this when IT comes to paying off deck? As you keep saying, I I have sent away thirty five thousand or that does he does he want to a paid off? Is what would he say about that?

Yeah he wants to paid off to he um doesn't really know how much I have stair stay because .

I just yeah there is .

a little by .

a little .

kind of are you say at home .

very no what is IT .

about your home that you've been had a yes.

I just here yeah so i'm afraid yeah but if he .

knew how much you would have, he would take IT and spend IT .

um no I mean that like usually spend but he would like say let's get get like kid all off and start like where is i'm i'm still afraid to I guess get rid of like you know it's still kind of like .

little cushion for me so yeah Richard gona walk to the money but I want I just feel compelled to say this um there is tension in your home. There are two people keeping secrets from each other. And if you're that scared of what's coming next for your family, you if in you're safe, you need have the courage to sit down your husband him know i've been hiding money because I haven't been because .

I must say I don't feel safe now because .

there's attention there and he doesn't t know what IT is and he blames himself for he's trying to solve IT and that is not fair you if you have to hide money from him because he's gonna blow IT and put all at financial risk or his strugling alcohol gambling, that's a total different story. But if you just said, well, he's going to want to pay our debts off and agree with that, i'm going to hide money from him.

I mean, I exception of said hit, but like he doesn't really watched with finances like I do and OK, he just doesn't know where I am out with home much. He doesn't realized probably that I have this much saved .

on the yeah in your motivation for IT, mary was that for some reason, if you wouldn't get a job because he was on his own for so long with construction that will easily have enough to pay for food next month because i'm just cashing, stashing, stashing. So it's like you're always running from behind on the defense. And I think.

okay. So yeah, I mean, I think I think john makes a great point. The first thing that I would do tonight, everything needs to be laid out.

Everything like here, how much we have saved. Here's all of our debt. Here's the income. Here's what we spend on food like here's every day ends. I end the I have the saved over here and it's probably more than you realized. And i'm doing that for a level of safety because I was so scared these past year, these past couple years when you weren't making, you know, the money coming in and I wanted, I needed safety. And now together we can start making this decision.

So um yeah, I would start there, mary, for sure because I think that's gonna great for your marriage because as you guys start this process and as he started a new job, there may be new stress or you that he can come home and talk to you about, there could just be new lines of communication open that may not have been there before. So so yes, so I would pay IT off today like I I would take that thirty five, pay off the credit card debt, cut up the credit cards, be done with all that. And then um I I would look to see how much IT costs to run your home. Is IT just in in or husband? You guys have .

kids two here OK.

How how are they? Eight, eight and ten? Eight and ten? okay. So um yeah I would I would probably an on the six months emergency fun side, considering that you're more of a conservative saver when IT comes to money and that safety very important to you.

And I get that you know we always laugh that and i'm kind of like this too like I want my emergency fun to have an emergency fun like IT just feels good to right know every year, if everything hits the can, we can pay the more agent and eat and eats, right? So like, I get that totally. So I would I would do, I would run your budget and just, okay, this is how much IT costs to run our life and then multiply IT by six.

And in that number, I would be curious for you if that feels good, like, okay, this feels right and and feels right from a logical standpoint that I know if something were to happen for six months, we could be OK like that's a long time, right? So, right. So that would be my next step. And then beyond that, when IT comes to retirements, um yeah there's a couple of places he does his I know his employer doesn't match. Do they have a one k program at all?

No, nothing like he gets. No, yeah, no benefits.

No benefits with that. okay. no. yeah. How big is the company that is working for.

You know like today actually like today is first week of .

OK OK okay. Ah I didn't know he was a large type firm or if it's just you yeah .

I believe IT I mean yeah I believe IT is okay.

Yeah okay.

So I would say, I mean, he's working with a group of like twenty, but the different um places around the city type of as a couple different what he call I am just .

surprised of a large company firm. Doesn't you offer red that point?

I yeah too like I think they do some that way and then they do some where they give you more a salary and it's not on them to pay out to pension to pay out.

No, that's right.

I and what I think I I don't know for sure.

okay. So um so yes, so that's the package. Yeah he signs on boarding and everything yeah I would open up next what would be a rough I E ray. And for this calendar, you guys may not make the mark for, but as of now, you can each put in seven thousand dollars. You can actually open up a spouse rathie mary um and then with his earned income he can um be able to qualify one fifty.

He may I think that the if you're acts a single filer it's one forty one ah I would double check but I think you both are still eligible to open up a rough ira. If not, you can do a back or rough but I would also sit dealt with a smart vest pro and you guys are in after all this is done after the death pay off. You have that emergency fun you feel good about and then you'll be investing fifteen percent of your income after that.

And I would sit down with investment professional and there's people in your area that um that we recommend and they're called smart vest prose. The tailor can pick up when we get off this call and you can help kind of direct you and sit down with them and and really look at the best plan and moving forward. Because also for your kids, you have Young kids.

And what does IT look like for them and college and all of IT, because yeah, one fifties and incredible salaries you guys can, especially if you're used to living on fifty, you'll have a lot of margin to be able to early great things and just making sure it's all directed a in the right way. So congrats, mary, on the new job. I know a prime makes you feel feel great to that.

There's some so more money coming in. So excited for you guys. Thanks for the call. This is the rmc show.

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Welcome back to the rams. I show our ramsey show. Question of the day is sponsored by why refer.

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states right together. Question comes from bEthany in vermont. BEthany rights and really struggling.

I work in the financial industry in an extremely embarrassed about our financial situation. I started using every dollar and had been diligent for ten months. Yes, i'm using.

I is my husband is not an agreement and is very frustrating. He's in poor health and believes he will not live in to retirement and is not need to worry about saving money for IT. Man, we're fifty two now.

We combine our money, but he hates that. I am caught on coat taking all his money. I pay all the bills and keep the budget, which I show him every month.

But he would rather buy a new six hundred dollar pair of boots and save money. I met my witz end. We tried counseling last year and didn't go well. How do I know to call IT quit? Well, you do think great.

Yeah this this is a hard one yeah bet. I mean, the first part of your answer, the the latter part of this question, but the whole I did that you're embarrass because you work in the financial industry that needs to just leave. I mean, there's a lot of bankers that are broke. Don't know how .

once merge therapist, there's a lot of .

yes yeah yes. So your occupation, you know I mean letting that dictate who you are. I would not let that be a shame cycle that I feel like I feel you're in um but ah you do have some major mayor issues. And in the thing that is always evident in these types of questions is that money just ends up being the one pipe that you're seeing the problems in and it's coming from a source. And the source is is is that your husband is an amateur y unlike just he does not look at life as taking care of his household. He doesn't look at life of worth living because he doesn't even think he's going to reach retirement, which is at that point in like another six years um so yet so this is someone that that um from a lot of different levels isn't okay and you happening married to them so when IT gets to this point, that's that's what makes IT difficult um within the .

marriage yeah and I think Rachel, you nail that David man saying this forever that that money is just a it's a it's an alarm was going on in your house in what you have here is a husband who is i've heard the phrase long tail suicide, which is I just gonna drink or netflix or lonely or just doing nothing in myself to death, right and i'm not going na die by suicide today.

But it's going to be this long fade out and i'm going to take every person who loves me with me because gonna watch in slow motion. And I don't care enough, like you said, I don't care enough about the spirit inside miles scan. I don't care enough about the woman who said I do and married me is watching the same happened real time.

I just don't care. Stop messing with my money and giving me rules and I want to go buy a new para boats that you can bury me right? Um I don't I can't .

answer that the question.

How do you know to call IT quit so I just can answer that with this little information um what I can say is that sounds like there needs to begin and I say this reluctantly you need to begin to separate your money um because this is good IT looks like I was for train lines and this is one of those that feels like it's escalating and i've been working hard for ten months he's in poor health now he think he he's onna die soon. So now he wants to buy that I can start to just train line one way in a negative direction.

protest and yet and at this point your future is is up in the air because of his choices of spending, right?

And so when IT comes to call IT quits about sharing your money, I think you'll there maybe you can share some household bills, but you need to make sure your four walls are covered yeah, because you have somebody who is actively trying to direct the car yeah and um and at some point maybe he goes and talks to somebody but that's down the road here um and I can say is I raised my hard for you but i'm i'm never going to tell somebody um endless it's a very specific situation you need to get out of this right .

now so I can't tell you i'm sorry for so sorry but I hope that's helpful. Mahli, let's go to the phones and we have cala in forwards texas. Hey kala, welcome to the show.

Hi, so we've had can you help me? Yes, we can't yet.

How can I help?

Um so I have son and I have had some bad like with our cars recently. Um we're following the baby steps, but we are so so frustrated and I just need an encouragement and not get alone for a new car and also advise so what to actually do. We've only recently finish our emergency for okay.

yes. So you guys have your thousand dollars.

we have a oo OK.

So what's the situation? The car or both of them what's going on?

Yeah so going back to july, at that point, we're working on our emergency fans and then after that, we plan to save out your place. My husband's car and but that's when my car, which is five years in two thousand thousand miles more than his car, the engine just went out um so the dealership and they are still know, four months later waiting for a backwater part. They have no idea when you're gonna have IT and they wanted meet with us tomorrow to go over some options and we're affecting them to try and get out of fixing our car. Um and then last month at an oil change for my husbands car, they found maintain needed that's worth that's like more than the cards worth, which just like going to broke me a little.

So I know IT before you go make up a story about what's going to happen tomorrow, wait tomorrow, okay, OK, and let's see what you're going to do because if this part is underwriter, they can do IT. They need to make you whole, they make you ride.

It's not under warranty.

okay? So you're trying to buy a part and they they .

don't have IT for you. So though we had they going to fix our car six, the engine, but they're waiting for a part to come in from like they're from their headquarter deal ship.

I guess.

um and that they been waiting for four months. They have no idea when they gna have anything.

even take the court taking shop.

So IT was the actual like dealership .

that we know. IT is a matter if it's not .

underwrote .

and they're just .

like a regular to .

extra money.

And as we go, is the car is the car driver able as have been sitting there for four months?

It's been sitting there for months. We've already got the engine take part. Yes, if they can fix your car.

then I have to put IT back together. The original shape IT was .

in and I here's a deal you .

have to go in tomorrow with out the possibility that you're going to take out alone like there's no kind of there's no encouragement to know like pat on the back, what a great night, man. What you're going to is, is my numbingly frustrating and I hate how bad you have been treated. Had this, had you called three months and two weeks ago, I told you to march in there, right? But four months they're just dragged you around, dragon you around and there they're going try to slow off a new car off here and say, here we're going to give you fifty hundred hours off just to make this thing right.

Have they have they given you any Price on what the part how much this is gonna? Because I would get that information tomorrow and then I would get a second opinion. I mean, even if you have to toe the thing to another mechanic um just to be like k that like I need you to look at this and how much what this part costs you and go get options because that's a frustrating thing about the car industry is IT like, oh my god, one person here, it's one Price one over here. I mean, it's just it's wild.

So the make on that that your husband's court, I would say thank you very much.

And take IT to a completely different person, different ion when I came um and how much how much your cars worth if you were to tell them .

mica and told would be about seven thousand dollars and is about twenty five hundred.

okay and how much he gets have new emergency fund.

we have twenty four .

thousand and well your emergency I yeah I think this is why you have an emergency fun so you don't have to go into debt so I would raise her and ship they have .

a very sure but I would be using some as money .

either to replace a car uh or to use this cash to be able to get IT fixed A S A P and do not buy a .

car from them. They are not people. integrity.

Thanks for the cauca a this is the rains you show.

Motivating your team to work and lead with the same passion you have is one of the toughest things in leadership, but it's crucial if you want to scale your business. Fortunately, ony leadership summer is the leadership of the quip to build a team that fights shoulder to shoulder with you so you can grow like never before. Join us and denver, colorado, may eighteen th to the first by going to ramsey solutions dotcoms like or click the link in the show notes.

Welcome to with the ramsey show i'm racal cruz hosting at this hour with actually john colony and taking your calls. So up next we have heather in orlando. Hey either welcome to the show.

Hi, thank you.

It's in order to beyond absolutely were glad you called. How can we help?

Well, I had written in because I we have two adult children that have moved back home and we are charging them rent. However, I do feel guilty about IT at times, and then I feel like we're being taken the other times. I just wanted to hear what your take would .

be on the way to high five you so tell me about .

your sons um so are our seconds that we have four children, our seconds fun. Um he lost his job a couple of about a year .

and .

a half ago and he was twenty nine, his now third and he um he was renting a place with our Youngest son and he was behind on his rant and we um we paid to have his rent caught up so our other son would not get panellists ed for IT then we allowed him to move in. He was without a job for six months. He did get a job and once he started, we were having him pay two hundred dollars back for the loan and two hundred dollars back for rent.

So that has been going on since last August. And then our Younger son, um he was supposed to get married and that didn't happen and his housing fell through. So he at the last minute after he could move in with us at the end of August. So he's been here for two months and we just started charging him rand.

So um they make .

a lot .

of money.

What they do they do um .

I mean we we're fine, my husband I are fine, but they do make a lot of money. And at times I feel like we're being taken for granted .

as you you are um I i've i'm working on a huge project and one of the chapters of the project right now is tentatively titled millions of unmarried men .

and these .

are men that always go through life with a safety net that is probably mom's house yeah and what is robbing them off is you mean you're just want a thirty year old who makes great money? Essentially what's happening here is, and by the way, the thought I have a fourteen year old, the thought of him moving away in four years, I can get choked up with that, even blanking twice.

so I get IT.

And if you throw in any sort of divorce for childhood issues, there's always this since parents feel ill, I want to catch up on to make this thing right. I I don't want to contribute anything anymore hurt or anything like that. But here's what's happening.

Millions and millions of parents are walking into the gym and watching their kids struggling, and they run over and take the weight of off the bar. And then their kids are thirty years old and they get laid off and the kid looks around and just goes, mommy and you and here's a thing, IT feels good, doesn't IT yeah? Yes, he feels so good.

So sometimes I get angry .

about IT o good. I got you feel both and and both those are Normal reactions. Um I want my son and my daughter to always know no matter what, no matter what, they will always know. The key is to come into my house. They're always welcome home and I want them to be strong enough to really never have to right?

Yeah and see my husband and I would got married Young, nineteen and twenty one, and we had four kids, you know right within seven years and we never really worked our butts off to know just as paycheck to paycheck. And so we never had a safety and either one of us. And so we always wanted to make sure that our kids didn't see that and that we were that.

So our oldest son is married, has A A three old in another on the way. He's never come back home since he's been married. But our other three kids have come back. All of them, two of them have come back twice, and then our Youngest just came back.

But tell why they come back because .

they .

can yeah because they can.

And so I I do think there's a moment in time when the greatest gift you could give them is their independence and I think there's something fair to say, hey um me and this old man over here, your husband, we get married or Young, we had all four kids and we want to have our adventures. You are moving.

You get three months.

You get six months. You've got ninety days. You got sixty days. What i've been telling arana is this, tell him they get sixty days or say thirty days, maybe sixty days of the most and say, i'll give you another thirty days, if you will watch all nine F, P, U, lessons. Um back to back to back, you watch all these lessons or give you another month you can stay to launch so hard about this.

Heather, is you what you intended as a mom to help and to be a gift and to be a lessing, when that is not done with boundaries, with clear communication, with an end dates like the sun that was going to get married, ended up fall IT didn't happen and so was housing know who knows what that story isn't on? My god, he's like, got my gosh, I was able to move here and now I can't, you know, get rent somewhere.

Can I stay with you guys for a month while I find another place? So right, like there's there's common since in this, right? So it's not that you're not being have hearted about IT, but also what that ends up being that gift and that great heart that you have had IT is up hindering your kids and and it's the enabling side that is so difficult.

I was reading a apparently book recently, and they are talking about how my generation, my the booming rents, ended up kind of becoming helicopter parents to a degree toward end, like my high school, when phones started to be a thing. And they said, no, have a hover, hover, hover. And the style parenting is not helicopter parents, but there's snowplow parents when they go through and they just clear the way where there's no bumps, no moguls, they don't have to get nervous that all I have nothing IT is a clear path.

And what that and what and again, if we knew that, that was the healthiest name for people and they would end up on the other side being a healthy person, and that's great. But IT doesn't. All the research shows it's the opposite.

IT is exactly what you're see, what the way that is picture because I end up being weak. There's no no string and of this helps at all. But we had Taylor are beautiful Taylor in the booth.

She's our phone screener. She's wonderful. And when you said yeah about unmarried woman, she's not in her head.

A lot of them in there, twenty years and thirties, are back home. And great irl are like all. But, but, but I got a failure launch. nothing. Ma hay, I got to go home to your .

parents to like parents. For those of listen, I remember pacing the house with my wife. I sleep not knowing how we are going to do IT.

Those those that I can get real visual, real quick. My son and my daughter hopefully think god will never experience that. That doesn't mean that they have won.

That means that i'm going to have to do different things to inject chAllenges into their lives. Meaning I could buy your car, i'm not going to. I could pay for everything, i'm not going to.

I've got to inject struggle because at the end of day, I don't wake up and and thirty. And because of me, they don't have strength and they don't have great. That doesn't mean going to intention they can suffer. But that means I ve gotta be intentional about making sure they've got string, that they develop different .

places that I developed. So the part of IT, yeah, in the relational aspect of life, whether it's within a marriage, you know kids, adult kids, I mean all of IT IT is there's there's a lot of obstacles and complications in different situations. But that's one thing john, you talk a lot about.

So i'm really pumped that you and dave he s they are going on tour. Yeah going to I know. So you guys are doing a money and relationships .

toward .

so even the kid and again, it's this is such a fun event because you, the audience shaped the content that they are doing. So it's calls just like this, like americus relationship. Here's the thing i'm dealing with or my money. Here's this over here and that depending on the city, depending on who's in the audience, is up building up the event.

which I I think that shows you different all these stories. And i'm pretty excited about this. I don't usually get nervous. I'm kind of nervous for this a mean a day, be on, stay together for two and hf hours and be a trip and the audience love in canada.

good. So if you are in luvly, they'll be there. April twenty first.

Dm, apple, twenty third and answer, April twenty fifth. That's my birthday. Happy .

birthday.

Oh my. Got a great gift. Phoenix may fifth, fourth th may seven and kansas city may six you can go to a mmc y solutions stock comet slash tour to check IT out and all of you listening on podcast and watching on youtube, but the show is ending for you.

But if you head over to the ramsey network APP IT is free. You can watch the third hour completely distract free, which is awesome um and go further into all the content we have there. So make sure to check out the ramsey network APP, and we will see you there.

Hey, you're still here. What are you doing? You do know that the rest of toy show is playing right now over on the rampy network, right? All you got to to do to finish the episode is search ramsey network in the APP store, google play store, or just click the link in the shower notes to downtown the APP for free.

Yep, you heard me right for free. Then right there in the home screen, you can watch the rest of today's but of being bota boom. All right, i'm get out here. enjoy. We'll on the APP.