This Is Your Brain on Debt
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Live from the headquarters of RAM z solutions is the RAM z show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create amazing relationships. I am a Rachel cruise hosting this hour with my good friend, the best selling offer, or doctor john dane, and we are answer your questions about life, money, relationships, career, anything and everything. So give us a call at tripoli.

Eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. All right, we're going to go IT to the phones and is a torn from boston. Hey, welcome to the show 啊。

Hey, guys.

thank you. Like to take my call.

Absolutely IT torn. Did I get that .

right yet? But just perfect.

awesome.

Ah so i'm in eighteen year old in a senior high school this year, and I wanted previous to code. I've been watching you guys for a while now. And H, I know the biggest thing was, you know, don't go to that, don't take out loans if you can try and cash with IT.

But I figured out we want to go to cheaper school. I was math. So community is free. I figure I would go there and I can transfer to a state school where I one hundred seven three after all the community I want to go to and um my parents were very against the idea, uh, they want to need to go play a sport in college and go to pride university take me like that doesn't matter and yeah I just want to make sure you I was making the right decision because they don't agree with IT now not looking for .

yeah they don't voted.

I brought that up, but they had never be taking me to not give housing meals, like take a car in my phone away.

I mean, if they want to throw a grown up temper tantrum, it's like the, it's like the most babies thing .

of ever like they wait yeah I wanna more why that so that feels very extreme. Like it's one thing if your parents kind like turn there is up a new but to kick you out and take your car in your phone and when not to, they said is is a religious element to this like like to go to a catholic school. I don't like any level of like a religion conviction there.

No, I don't really understand why they just decided to look back on resume. And I think i'm making the wrong decision. I said I was being pretty rude about IT.

I think that's why. Well, if if if I I have no problem with the parents and hey, as for me in my house, you're going to this school and we're paying for IT. And if you want to go somewhere else, you're on your own.

I have no problem that at all. That happens all the time. And if they say, hey, in this house, we go to harvard and so we've created this fund and you're going to harvard, if you get in, I have no problem with that.

If they tell you you will not go to that school that you can afford, which is free, you will go take out loans and put yourself behind for the next fifteen years of your life, for twenty years of your life to putting on private school you go to. And if you don't do that, we're going to take your cell phone, were going to take our ball, we're going to go home. We're not playing with you anymore. That just sounds like real child list immature behavior because what they're doing is they're asking you to have all the skin in the game and they're just going to .

sit on the style lines and hollow tcha.

I thought the same saying I I don't really know what their plan was.

Yes, it's had a character for them like where you shocked by this? Or is this like I can see moment dad doing this?

I already knew that they didn't want me living there after A A K, I said they would help me out a little bit before I was definitely out of character ah for them like to once they kind of like that, like my mom said, I keep the car. My dad was very, again, keep the car for that.

We've been a jerked. We've been in an eighteen year just like a third. Or you've been kind and thoughtful.

I will admit, for like a first like thirty man sucks. But I was very kind and peaceful and then I started to, I was, I was not .

nice special to go be respectful eighteen year old son and say, hey, I got fired up and I actually like a kid. I'm sorry. Um I do not want to go into debt for college and I respect you. I respect you want your kids won't be to tell your friends that your kid graduate .

from this college .

and I get that. But like like he wants to be a good to bridge club until like my kid is eric used to call to call the we used to call the soccer mom scholarship. I worked at one university.

We would lose students. Um we would give somebody a half scholarship. I'm sorry, the tuition was making up a number twenty grand. yeah.

And they would go to another school that cost fifty grand, but they got a one thousand dollar J V socket scholarship will lose them, which is a right. It's a thirty thousand dollar a year move, one hundred twenty thousand dollar move car. So that parents could be like my kids plan on a sock scholarship, right, to cost their money, like six figures.

right two thousand .

I tell you prince story and then you have to make a eighteen .

old year yeah and let me say this too and joins the education he loves education so he can make back in the this um but just just for perspective. So you're in boston and we have friends that came from that area. And the way even the the northeast, I would say even specifically the way they view education, there is a there .

is a high premium.

high regard like IT. IT is everything when we come to south .

is a bore.

It's born. But it's not like like, like there's a belief of like you can scratch and clown start a business and be as successful as the guy that has the college degree. No, I mean, was to go to college or not.

There's kind of a mike row. Like just get in there, you figure that out and you can still be successful. But IT doesn't have this air about IT, which are not saying all new england have that, but I do think it's an eighteen old that's growing up in that environment.

You're in boston like it's so just know there's a world outside of that not that we have a right necessarily and not saying that, but but you can be successful. You can meet people in network outside of a college. There are ways to live life that is not one path of just IT has to be this procedures as education.

If you don't get this, it's going to look bad on resumes. You're never going get a job and to be homeless. You're and I like that's not not the that's not right. Um so just know there is there is more to life outside of possibly the bubble in which education has talked about in your family .

and for whatever is worth.

the john loves .

that so just no but if i've got i've got A I think one of most mission minded institutions united states is can be found inside a community colleges and for whatever it's worth, my mom, doctor tony, the first doctor tony was my mother who graduated in her fifties with her PHD started the community called as a tenured full professor right? So so you here's what you can do with the community college education anything you want to period um maybe you have to work hard to get job number one fine. But by the way, you're going to transfer out right you're go to a state school or to a private world up on a transfer out 就是 这 yeah that is a .

program called mass transformed and guarantee ant as well as some other scholarships。 As always, you maintain a certain grape average .

in community and that .

and fun orn like just run some numbers. The why of the private college that you'd go into debt for average to drive on the student long? How long that would play, take you to pay off when you if you got out to school with an average maybe in above our average salary, you would say a run those numbers out, having to repay that, starting in a financial hole. Significantly six figures probably for the school VS, getting through a det free, doing the free community college, working, saving up, graduating from state school, starting off and starting to invest the moment you get your first paycheck because you're onna have money and not been a whole financially from the math perspective who comes out ahead oh, so it's started.

Very proud you .

for think outside box.

but not be the tree, parents, dignity and everybody. I love private schools. I've worked at multiple prior schools. I would love for my kids like, I love prior schools. I just don't like parents love and grenade to their kids and saying, hey, to prop us up, you go do this thing that's going to cost you ten, twenty years of your life for making us feel good. I like.

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Welcome back to the ramsey show. We are taking your calls at tripoli, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five of next day of Linda in dallas, texas. Hey, Linda, welcome to the show. Thank you. absolutely. Help me. help.

Well, I am retired and I get, listen to other month I can afford, right? And I don't qualify for low income housing. How do I survive?

Yeah, you're a mass hand. How old are you?

Sixty eight?

Sixty eight.

And is the two thousand from social security?

No, one thousand and five years of security.

Is that in addition to the two thousand .

or that include in instance thousand?

And okay. And where are you getting .

the other money from as i'm in the middle divorce and getting a pension part of service pension?

Okay, you're supposed to be getting IT or that's what .

you're getting. I know he's pay me. They're not pay me.

Is he going to pay you though?

Don't know.

You okay um do you know when you'll know that? Like I onder just how long you'll be in this specific situation for.

uh, yeah in a while um i'm a singing after my divorce final life, I will know.

Okay, Linda, are you divorce to sixty eight years old? What happened?

Elements.

no, i'm sorry. Thank you. Um there is no easy way to say what i'm about to say. okay.

在 沟 i'm sure you've tired .

people telling you that same exact line。 Aren't you tired of lawyers tell you that everybody tells that.

aren't you with IT that .

there's .

no easy way to say what i'm about to say.

oh yeah, yeah.

There there's literally only two ways, two things you can do with money. You can spend less of Better. You can make more of IT.

right?

And you simply, you simply don't have enough of a coming in.

right?

And the only path I see for you is to go find whatever work you can find with that work from home on a computer, whether that's going in somewhere that's IT.

I've been doing that and now the one is tired. Me and everyone's doing part time. yeah.

How much are you? How much are you in the whole every month, money wise?

Surprisingly, I don't know what's going on, but i'm not actually, no, I don't know what .

how is working OK? How much is two.

twenty four hundred?

Twenty four hundred a month.

But did you say you are only bringing in two thousand?

Yes, don't actually how it's working.

Well, I have to ask you how it's working. It's just a math problem.

I know that. I am, are not going down in my account, and I keep working, is getting paid, are rebel paid?

They're all again, pay. Is your human? Is your husband?

No, I am my check.

How much money did do you have in your checking account?

I have in my second and saving about sixteen thousand.

okay. So it's just probably taking money out of that. Well, what's onna happen is that's gonna dwindle .

pretty fast yeah like than six months to do something right .

that's exactly right. Um so your mortgage is more than what you're bringing in. And so that doesn't include any other utility. So you're looking at to keep this house for that big of a mortgage payment you're gonna need to be bringing and close to nine year in the month, which i'm not sure if that's got to be possible.

So I don't know for the house if you're going to be able to afford IT long term in order to sustain yeah any level of lifestyle. So are you how how much is left on the house? How much you .

oh and twenty five .

thousand oh okay um .

in the house um .

see well I think it's for three thirty, three fifty. So what is that hundred .

fifty grand if it's worth you says worth .

no i'm sorry.

was seventy five grain that's yeah well .

you old .

six hundred and twenty five .

thousand .

OK k okay yeah I mean I think um yeah long term went i'm going to say that ah you're gonna have to sell the house eventually here and then I I would do IT sooner than later. Honestly, I don't think it's worth the stress of what you're going to be under here after this account goes down mony wise.

So I would sell IT and I would find something like a one bedroom can do something that you could own, but it's gona be significantly if you can find something that's that's less than this and maybe a different part of dallas as as well in then finding yet any level of work that you can to bridge that gap because like john said, I mean, there's that's the hard part about money. There's not really emotion around IT IT. IT is the math problem.

And so understanding the okay, here's the money coming in, the money going out. But also my hope in the number one, you're so courageous for making a decision to leave a dangerous situation and in a marriage at the stage, like I commend you for that greatly like that that's scary. And taking that step is really difficult. And so am so proud of you for that and then I pray that your the divorce you know comes to to an end and that he'll have some of his pension that I hope we paying you to help supplement some of the things .

come to and and if you do not, not everybody has. This, in fact, is getting rare and rare, but if you do have kids, friends, adult friends, church friends, this is the time to say, hey, I need some help and people always tell me I don't like asking for help or makes me feel weird. This is the time to say, I need some help.

We sit down with me and help me map this thing out. Do you know a good reader um will connect you with um i'm going to connect you with one of our rami financial coaches. I'm going to pay for one of the sessions and um so you can sit down, they can walk through your budget with you and and so .

hang on the line here .

but here's everything for everyone out there um who who is in in what I would call A I protected class really but I can imagine what can sixty eight years old not having worked, been like any new job and people can look at you and o meana things right I I wish the world was in that way IT is um if you can only get a part time job, get a part time job and work work like your life depends on IT theyll hire you right? They will hire you um and if they don't have A A full time, I mean A A full time job available, some point they may rule you into one that is a full time job.

Call a friend, you'll be able to be a good resource for you. You can get a one two part time jobs welcome. Like that's all you got right? And then what let opportunities show in front of you?

Yes, so good. I am sorry, right? Let's go to facebook, john.

We have to VISA on facebook a social question, what kind of side jobs that did you get? Should you get to start tackling debt? So this is a question.

We get a light. People that are on baby. Step two that are trying to get out of debt.

The income part of getting out is a huge, huge part of the speed of which you can get out of debt, right? American cut expenses but only to a point, right? I mean you stop to pay for things.

So um this extra income is really kind of the the magic part of IT, but it's also difficult because it's it's high lift. I mean, that takes your time. I mean, you're you're working full your full time possibly and then you're taking some kind of side also. Um I mean, I have found the the most lucrative ones we've seen. And talk to people is like when you can have a direct connection to the customer, meaning you do tutoring, piano lesson.

long care.

long care, uh, house sitting, babysitting, dog sitting, dog walking. Like when you can go straight to the percent to the customer, you're usually going to get a higher rate of return per hour versus going and working a retail job or something, you know or if .

you can work at all hours, you can work a full time job and you can drive in hours where you oh wise couldn't go at .

a regular job. Yes, that's right. Yeah totally. And you know always the you know the uber lifts the food delivery services. A lot of those. I mean, we are talking to some people in a weapon earth last week, and people were making like a thousand fifteen twelve hundred dollars mean a lot by even just driving at night.

Um so again, looking at those options but finding and actually digg in to the details of ics, I think if you're going na be doing IT, you want the most oroya out of your time because all of that will be going towards debt and having the discipline to put that extra money towards paying off debt to get out of dead as quickly as possible versus spending IT to so having that that character quality of like you, i'm going to be disciplined in that and stay true that the sexual income is going towards death is huge. So all of you, all in some of you listening to this, listening to IT during your side, hostile. So we always just want applaud you and remind you that is possible. The step three journey really is takes a lot of hard work, but IT is possible. This is the rmc show.

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You can get ramp solutions, not come at slash store or click the link in the description to check out the Christmas sale or again for the give away to win some money, you can go to rampy solutions stock flash, give away. I'm next. We have Sarah in Virginia beach. Hey, Sarah, welcome to the show. Hi, hello, hello.

How can we help?

Um okay, so we ve got a problem alone or a use car um and the proper world had a seven and a half percent industry. And then when we went to when we saw the loans show up, like in our account, they have the interest rate at nine in a half percent and we might have to look to the think and ask them about the change. They said that they could do whatever .

they wanted. Do you know .

your calling provo allow to we were like, but we didn't agree to pay this, but we already have the car because we took like I was like our bank. So we took the check from.

Do you know I show you, I think you may have called the wrong show. Do you know show? This is a rainy show.

Yeah, we don't like cause you sell the car.

sell the car and don't do business with court.

don't do business with banks.

I'm going to dead yeah what what's .

the situation there so besides the interest because yeah we .

I might preapproval is different from an actual rate OK. Those are different things.

Um yeah so i'm pregnant with our first kid. We're twenty eight and we're living on like six thousand dollars months, but we fortunately live in military housing. So that makes things a little bit here.

yes. Um by we were getting a alone because that hasn't been like keeping my they are going for a while now. And he finally feels like he's kind of like at the end of what he can do with that.

They were worried like it's going to be it's going to break down and were like not going to be able to fix that. And we're not going to have a vehicle that can sit our family and IT. Um and so we don't have any other debt. So we were like, well, if we got a car payment that's around two hundred dollars and that's not so bad to that's like the only other payment that we have a side light car insurance.

So how can we help you? So like you've IT just like .

you've got figured out I was confused the approval .

yeah .

so that we don't make that mistake again because we thought like because we were preapproved IT something I have .

IT like a necessary locked in rate at that point.

Three approval means standing preapproval just says here's the four yet your credit worthiness would qualify for x. Give me um Sarah.

give me kind of a little bit more of golf financial situations. I would love to to make the help navigate and talk through this whole picture because I think you're a mom with you're pregnant with number five, which god blessed? Sera, well done. I have three and I like I have thirteen kids so that's amazing. Um and I know the stress that you know just growing a family takes and a car is one of the largest purchase is that know you make as a so I understand it's a big deal and for you guys to have transportation, I I totally get that. So your husband, what branches in the .

military name?

The navy? okay. Well, thanks for his service and for you as as a military wife, you guys do a lot for this county. So we really, really on our and appreciate that. So you guys are in military housing, so there's no housing expense for you guys per month? Or do are you paying a about .

something only technically there's like we get a housing allowance and when you live in military housing daga, the housing gets the full housing allowance .

perfect yep so so anything .

is coming out of his picture will stay under .

totally OK and you guys make what you .

say six square and a month.

Um so that is like with our housing allowance without our housing allow, our housing allow is twenty four hundred to close to four .

thousand without our housing while O K O K um .

and any money .

saved we have a little bit yes, it's like we have like five ground grounds.

okay and no other debt .

we have no other dead.

Yeah that's great. That's great. And are you working at all?

I am not because um for me to work we would lose money.

Yeah so .

yeah ah yeah .

for sure.

How yes .

how how much was the the venu .

guys bought sixteen thousand?

Sixteen thousand, okay. And how much are you going to sell the old day four?

We're hoping to sell IT .

for at least fourth alone. okay. Um and so what I would encourage you guys to do just as an exercise um you're probably not gonna IT, but um to save some of that money and continue to not owe anyone anything, I would do a lot of research on on a van at ten thousand right it's gonna older IT may not be as great as the sixteen because of you guys.

Have you guys officially purchased the sixteen? Or did you guys get the interest rate? And now you're like, o gosh, have you signed off on everything?

Um well, we haven't find like the promise. No, but if we take that and so my husson said that we could probably take the ran back to the dealership and they would just make us probably pay like a restock fears and think, yeah.

I mean, i'll be real honest. That's what I would do. I would I wouldn't mess with IT and I know the justification of its only two hundred dollars a month. And at that point, it's not as much about the money even though that's coming out of you're four thousand dollars. Um the interest .

the payment is actually too, Steven. I we were thinking that we were gonna like two hundred and one because we've expected sure that .

have three yeah well, the the idea of going through all of us, you're going to be on baby number five and there's just so much stress and there's something about having the piece of mind that if something whatever happened that you don't owe anyone anything and getting a car from the dealership is the more expensive out versus and individual.

So I do wonder if you could if you could talk someone in that seven and eleven ten thousand dollar van to say, hey, we've got some cash and we can and we can, we can buy IT out, right, or drive the four thousand dollar as for five six more months if you can um and just figured that out that way but that honestly that's as you call and Sarah, that's that's the advice I want to give you is is a different thinking paradise. I understand how you you fell into this um but there's something about taking on the identity of like that or just somebody that we don't borrow money. And when you draw a hard line in the sands, then other options come into play.

They have to because if this then break down, you're have to figure out OK, what are we going to do. But if you're not boring money and there's a hard line, you have to get creative with IT. And and I think you know for you, you know working would be very difficult that I understand that I do know some people that are doing night stuff, they're an admin. You type online, virtual, distant kind of things. But I made at this point, if I were you guys, I would scrape together what we had and said, this is, this is our budget, and this is what we have to spend on a car, and this is what we going to spend.

Yes, come to figure out. And again, for that preapproval thing is that just give you a floating number, it's an approximation is about what it's gonna in the depending of the retail on any given day.

And they flex IT and go up and down up some yesterday .

and it's it's all over the place. And so yeah, here's the bigger picture. The reason we tell people to borrow money a is because again, IT always feels like something like this comes up.

But if seventy box is is going to be a hardship, it's going to be this big. Well, we thought was going to be seven point nine. I was nine point nine.

Just stop, play the game. Just don't play the game. You get five years of seven people in on bed. housing. Solve for peace, i'd rather have a crummy van that no, no matter what's happening in our life, I, me, stitches, broken bones, whatever, got to pay that bank to to pay that, go to to pay the bank. I just don't want to buy, I don't want to pay.

says the rancy show.

I've been doing this show for over thirty years and some of the sad calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable yeah .

and what so hard as I feel like one of those, especially the ones that i'm like a terrible air, people that call in and their spells has passed suddenly and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through how I gna pay my bills in the middle, yeah, in the middle of that grief, like it's just IT, is it's terrible to life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids that I like so big on for people to give because it's inexpensive. Thunder is the place that once, and I actually get all of our life insurance.

And IT doesn't because ander shops among a guzzi ilian different companies. IT didn't call much. Just have to admit that someday you're not gna be here. You got to say out loud and you got to i'm going to say, love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put the stuff in place. The costa stinking pizza to get a free quote call eight hundred three five six forty two eighty two thousand eight hundred three five six four to eight two are go to sander dot com.

Welcome back to the RAM z show. The RAM z question of the day is brought to buy. Why refine? Why refile refinances your default ted? Private student loans that other places won't touch and gives you a low fixed rate to build that they built just for you.

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right? Today's question comes from linsey and ohio. My husband, I ve been married for seven years, and he refuses to combine finances. I make significantly less than he does.

And whenever we argue, he says i'm only with him for his money and he accuses me of wanting to drain his accounts. SHE is I don't have any log in info for any of our bills or his bank account. Oh god, his mom is honour checking account.

So if he died tomorrow, he could drain his funds completely while I waited for death certificates to access the funds. And supporter son, who is three, he, there are this next line doesn't surprise me at all. He recently told me he is not happy and has not been happy for a long time.

I'm doing everything I can to keep my family together because I love him. I even turned down job offers recently. They paid significantly more.

Just preserve my mental health and not calls him more stress from being honest. I don't earn t enough to afford apartment on my own, let alone eat and pay utilities. I'm scared in harbin and looking for some direction. That's hard. I would stop everything that you're doing, and I would call a therapies merry therapies today right now, and ask him if he will go with you, he probably will not.

And ask him the question, this following question at the dinner table, are you through with our marriage? I think more people avoid that question and go for months or ears with all these peripheral al behaviors hey, mom, my mom, a check in account you can have with all these proxy wars, sit down and say, are you done with this marriage and you might tell him i'm not onna file on you. You're going have to lead what everyone but ask that question and have a therapies already appointed book. That's where where they are at here. This is a man who is leaving this marriage, and either he is another courage to do IT or hasn't SAT with the tourney yet, but he is out of this relationship, and instead of, instead of doing a non integrating with integrity, which I know so silly, he is just going to let his wife of cake.

Yes, yes.

And then blame her for hurt the implosion.

how? Garcia, melanie, well, I do feel like in the images feels like an extreme decision. You guys don't have you access to money at that point of how to pay bills, and you guys are living completely separate lives in the money issue.

And how you guys are so separate with money is the symptom of really what's going on in your marriage. Would you know that? And so i'm getting to the root cause of that. But I do want to, you know encourage you that even in this, if IT doesn't sound like it's going well, like it's I I mean, you never wanted predict a divorce on somebody, but unless he's willing to do the work and you are too, it's not nothing is gonna change um but you've been offered money, you're offered jobs that you you're getting paid significantly more, but you're turning them down to preserve your mental health. If I were you, I mean, you guys are live in separate lives at this point.

And I mean.

I would I would start CNN we yet what's out there for me from a career standpoint to build your confidence back if if you're in a relationship, man, man or woman, right, like, and that your partner is not recipe ating any level of unity and that's which are craving you love him and like that rejection on a daily basis and that error S I would have to say you yourself confidence and so to kind of get yourself in a spot uh from like a mental healthy team point right that's that's somewhat stable is going to be really important in this for you to possible. Makes some hard .

decision in linsey. Um probably for a long time years you've been trying to do things to not make him mad, do not make him sad, do not make him upset, to make sure the house is quiet to corton cote, not calls him stress stop the source of his stress is coming from the inside out, has nothing to do with you. And so you're not turning down job opportunities and keep you safe.

Keep your keep food on you and your son's table, pay for apartment. If and when this guy finally leaves you what he's telling you he's doing, you have to start making those type of plans and stop living every moment to try and not stress him out. It's never been about you. It's always been about him.

I hate we. We're just on a break and meeting of the fabulous people in the lobby watching the shovel. We met with a couple that was here for our money and marriage event. And that's a theme, john. Throughout that, we can enter marriage once that i've been married fifteen years, and I was that even in the last probably four a years of five hours, that all of that click like what you just said, because I think they are so long we live in such a way that we really do believe if I do something it's going to affect you on on a level so I can either ah choose behaviors or know it's up to me to make sure you're OK right it's it's that .

way of I annoy my wife, I can be frustrating. I can make a mad, but like, I can't, I can't wake up every day and make her be okay. Yes, make her be whole. I can not power.

No, no. And when you put the layer of money on top of IT, for those of you listening and watching, we get the question on time, how do I how do I get my husband to see x experienced? How do I get my wife to see or um I don't have a spouse that's working with me financially, you know, how do I get them to change? And it's the way the questions are worded in our belief .

that we can .

change someone in. And I could just see I make I make this argument like really good, then they're gona get IT. Uh, but there's something deep in the core of who we are. And again, this is you know a lot about money in relationships. IT comes out when in the financial aspect, meaning that when you guys are not on the same page financially, you you can only bring the table what you are feeling, what you believe and hope that your spells were separated ades that are in a marriage that they're actually listening and responding. Um but to the point that that is not happening, then there is the marriage issues that are really going on and it's coming out of money issues and its sues.

I say all the time behavior is a language and this guy showing you to his actions, he trust his mommy doesn't trust you, right? wrong. Maybe you've earned that lack of trust, or maybe he just never like he trusts mommy. Y doesn't trust you. That's the marriage fracture of the highest order.

You need to address that right? When he tells you i'm not happy I haven't been for a long time that's usually coated testing the water language for are you gonna blow up, maybe you leave or you like make this mutual of like that just i'm testing IT out right um this idea that we're not going to be together um yes to start thinking about your four walls three year old right you start talking about different, different things yeah and I hate that for you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate IT um yeah it's where we are.

It's what IT is. Ah well, thanks so much, linsey, for the question. I hope that helps IT. Let's go to john in solid city. Hey, john, welcome to the show.

I thank you.

absolutely. How can we help?

So uh I am in a uh currently in a strict commission and sale position um been in for somewhere fifteen years or so um making about two hundred thousand years currently. And but the the pay structure of our company is changing from strike commission to a base plus bonus model OK.

Um the .

question is are um my concern? I am in a very stable market currently. So i'm i'm concerned about being able to hit those growth bonuses because there's not a whole lot of growth in my current area left, in my opinion. So the optimal they have proposed to me is, well, you you could pick up additional territory in some additional states where we don't turn they have market share or you could simply go read okay to a new area with you know skies of limit territory. So um how .

much how much how much of your question do is about your the integrity of the people you work for.

none. I'm i'm i'm not concerned about that. I I very much like the company to respect my bosses, enjoy what i'm doing. Um the the actual literal question is um financially does IT make sense to relocate or what I have to or or do I can put which is the option you know on a weekly basis and be away for the family, which is not something that I want want .

to do yeah I think you I think your professional life is more than your paycheck. And so if you need two hundred grand, or you need that more money to survive, basing the life job created and that's what you in your life aside, great, go out your lites out and commute, or you end up thinking about moving, if you like your life as IT is in your community and your friends and your family, what you all all do, and you can afford to pay up, and that's the life you want to choose.

choose that. This says the ramsey show.

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the headquarters of about ramsey solutions. It's the ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create amazing relationships. So I am at Rachel cruze hosting at this hour with my friend and host of the doctor. John loni show john colony. That's I A double john colony, an offer or of the john the loni books, so much of .

your name, hard children. Yg, even that.

But give us a call, a triple. Al, eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. And we're going to be answering your calls on life and money. First step, we have a jim and atlanta, georgia hey, jim, welcome to the show.

Hi.

thanks for me. absolutely. How can we help?

Uh so my wife and I are were consistently up will now after baby step for ah but we haven't bought our first home yet. So um that kind of the next thing, big ticket thing that we're looking to do. And I just I feel like our expenses so high, I just don't know how i'm going to be able to save enough in a lana to to be able to purchase at home.

yes. So what do you guys make an .

year um make about between two about hundred .

grand OK and tell .

me about your business.

Uh so we pay two five hours a month for rents. Um I can add another independent because it's like usage based. But four or five hundred dollars for util after that um uh we do our best with groceries is just crazy right now. Um around eight hundred and one .

food do a little ones.

No, just just my and nine hundred how on twenty six.

twenty six. So jim, I M this because I love U K. Um this is string as I can because I just don't I I think um the band of twenty two year old to thirty five year old just wasn't told the true and that is um yellow doing everything right, you know IT working really hard and you and you can you can finds on the jobs when you talk about all that kind of stuff.

But increasingly across the country, people are running into, I want to to live in this city, and they are just not enough houses in this city. So the ones that are available are outrageous ly expensive, are very expensive. And so there's a reckoning, which is, do we want to be homeowners more than we want to live in this zip code? And it's not in. It's a question that none of us. I mean, my forties, I IT never even was. I was never a question I was prepped for um but I think the idea of we have this picture, we got married, we want to live in a lana, we want to be brave fans got help you like this, where our family like this, where we want to build life and this ugly person that doesn't that care about your wants or desires, your dreams called math, this said, is not going to wear and so you have to decide we want to live in the city and rent or do you, anna, keep working really hard and begin thinking we might let's move to kansas, let's move to north, a code i'm making up places. But I think there's .

a minutes out.

Yeah, we're going. We have to commute. We have to do some different things. And I think I think more and more people are banging in their head up against mathematical realities and it's making them insane. And I get IT and it's good to be frustrated.

But I think a wise or use of your energy is to begin to go. Okay, then what must be true? We want to only house six hours.

awesome. I love IT. Let's get out a map and figure out where, across united states of america, we can live in actually a four house here.

You might be, love c texes IT might be, me know, highland park, you know, who knows? But that that's hard to hear. But man, what what do you all do for a living?

So I work from home. I worked for university of an academic advisor. Um my wife is a shark trainer, shark trainer a minute opportunities for her to be able to .

be a shark trainer like the shark, like in the ocean and he trains them, yes, I get the aquarium, the valence.

Qui.

yeah, your wife is the coolest wife who is ever looked?

No, I know I wanted .

to be a marine biology, so bad. And like, do this kind of work.

you took a left turn. Ww, she's a short trainer. De, so, so unbelievable.

So you're going .

to be living, you gonna living by the coast.

right, or buy an aquarium.

yeah. So we, because that's where the aquarius.

okay.

so how much do you make a year?

And SHE makes about forty eight. Okay, okay.

So you, you're gonna to ask yourself the question.

And I worked to the academic advisor for my whole life. You I don't make a bunch of money and you do a tonto work too.

I mean, just works for sharks on the wine.

Yeah, you're going have to ask yourself because my guess is he is locked into this thing that's probably not a job that comes open very often. You move whatever you can get that job as her world, right? yeah. okay.

Then you have to ask yourself, um is big an academic advisors that my future are my using this as spring board because the university is going to pay for my graduate school? So I go do this thing and do another thing and do another thing. And how quickly can you get on that wagin othe wise you're going to be spin your wheels. Van.

I have OK, so yeah, but but .

you make thirty two thousand. So you make fifty two thousand yeah. Okay, you can make that as a public school teacher in at land at two and have summer we can make more money. That's what i'm saying. Like it's about you saying, okay, I had this dream of being a university official it's not going to even if I became the head of all economic vision and eighty ground and that's I going to buy your house in a in a cool nights n lana and so it's you reckoning with, okay, what must be true for .

my career and dream obviously she's gotten levels of racial.

L she's a great train and this is not changing, right?

But but that's the grown up question though and we all and we that reckoning is real for people a couples all across the, you know the country, a guy we talk to last our it's like, do I do I take this to a to do the job I want or do I go and transfer and we move somewhere to make more money to have a different kind of life style? Mean, it's a lifestyle question .

you guys are asking or I want to to be a writer so bad and I ChatGPT is here and so my like my market value just wanted have and so do I want to keep doing .

things saying like just go chase money in your life is going to be OK. It's more fulfilling than that. But you guys will just have to make some hard decisions because the math has to line up and you're right to own a home minute and a georgia making a hundred k it's can be really hard.

Um and again, maybe you guys start off with a um not a single family home. Maybe it's a townhouse, maybe it's a condo not in the nicest building, right? I think like there there's these other elements of this that you need to look into, but I think that is your next step job.

I think come others ship from a financial standpoint is the wisest thing that you guys can do. You guys are out of that. You have an emergency. At our first time home buyers, we recommend about five per cent to put down and making sure that your payment is no more than twenty five percent of your take compared gn, and so that may take you guys another two years to save and and get a you know a good down payment to get you to get your monthly payment in a in a place that you want I mean um but but I think overall in the beauty as you guys you know you don't have kids right now um the world the world is as you guys and you guys are dual income, no kids.

The drinks and you get to make decisions about your life of, hey, what do we want to do is this um and that can change over time. But I think um that I mean the math has to work and that's the hard part of all of this. And IT is frustrated and I mean things more and um you know and even look at your lifestyle to jim, I mean would be curious um from that perspective, I know groceries are expensive, but a hand box for just you guys I think family .

of five lives off of that and so I I maybe this is the magic I O yes, and you ask that question about your two jobs, what's IT worth to us and it's about how we go out to eat the town IT is the concert in the baseball we go to or don't go to. It's the what does all this stuff work are being. Family being not, what is all this worth to us and let that dict some of your questions.

And I don't know, just a write a wrong answer for anybody on those. But math doesn't care how you feel. This doesn't.

Thanks, ja ma, hope that helps. This says the rem c show.

This show, sponsored by Better help this month, is all about gratitude. And most of us have people in our lives that were grateful. One of those people for me is the wonderful maryland fan in SHE gave me a chance.

He told me, boys and professionalism and SHE chAllenged me. But there's one person that we often don't take time to think ourselves. We don't always acknowledge that we're barely surviving or that we're moving forward or that we're working towards a Better life and Better relationships.

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Well, brand new tour just launched with dave M. C. After john loney, and they are going to be hit the .

road with the money .

and relationships live in around. So travel. We'll do some here at our event center. But this events specifically, it's a different one because the audience in each city gets to choose the topics, right?

yes. And you know Better than any of us, David. I will be on the stage together most of the night and IT will be the wild west. And so whenever you're on stage of day, if you've never been on stage of day, mi, you you have to know you're talking about and you just have to be ready and you .

never know what's gonna en never know. Sometimes with you to john, we I was I was like john, you host a john is like forty percent. You never know what's going to happen. You always have to be room and dave the same way. So it's going to be a very entertaining, very fun event. So if you are in lual dorm, atlanta's inx, fort worth or kansas city, they are coming to you or any surrounding areas, so to get the dates and the tickets, go to ramsey solutions dock comic slash tour and make sure to check IT out you guys again the money and relationship tour with the ramsey and doctor john loni or hit the .

road and me say, when we are a sitting on dave table talking about that and talking about, we ve got to laugh and so hard and I thought for a laugh in this hard and here it's going to be, wheel off to be real off if you think you know the range the event show up let me is so fun.

so so fun all right next, if we have a Matthew in west palm beach, hey, Matthew welcomed to the show.

Thank you.

Appreciate how you got to do and or do and well.

how can we help? fantastic. So I A quick question. So my wife and I expecting our first child.

congratulations.

SHE is very pregnant.

You get in baby john.

we are not. It's a girl. It's a girl.

Rills in .

the eighties.

I love that. Um but yes, so we are trying to figure out what our work life is going to look like. Just a little bit context.

I own two small businesses. I work from home very flexible life. My wife works in Normal nine to five job that he is not thrilled with.

So I think it's a really good time for to kind of take a break, take a little reset and kind of see everything goes and then you know jump back into work if SHE feels like he wanted to and so he doesn't feel the same way, we're kind of going back. And what about IT? He goes. So all you call the rainy show, i'd dare you get on the rainy show. So like, you know what?

I will get in the rain show.

OK.

does he want to work? yes.

Do you want to work? yes. So he wants to work. He is working since was thirteen, but SHE hasn't love what he does. So I just think it's just a good, a good time in our life. I think we're really set up where she's able to take a small break if shoot, you know, and then jump back in if you you want to go back toward.

right there's something beneath that though.

Yeah.

you either need to have the courage to say, I always had this picture that the woman I married to be a state home mom or I, i've been married to you for this many years, three years, five years, seven years, and you hate your job and that that I I wanted see you smile again that's underneath hey, you know, I think it's a good time for you to take a break that's like when someone's like, are you gona have another cheese ker, huh? You're going back. It's a proxy war for the truth and he might be saying, you know, I just i've been working to us fourteen that might be heard saying I am nervous about your two small businesses .

and or my dad told me I had work less.

I don't know who I I mean so it's it's getting beneath that saying here's a map financially we're going to be OK. I want you to know that I love you more than life itself and you can earn that anymore, right? And maybe that's a conversation to have um or if you want to keep working, I want you to work in a job that brings you joy and makes you feel like you have purpose and not something you hate every day because I am scared to have that kind of poison in the house with with a newborn .

thousand percent, you hit the day on the head and definitely stamps from you know, her mom was A A was a bread winner, her family. And so she's used to that used to, you know the woman working in the home where I came from a household. My mom was a stat home mom, and that's kind of what I used to. So, well, yeah, I mean, if you want to go back to work, obviously I would not make her know, not work to say, you know, he do ver SHE wanted. We could obviously use any income we can get, but I just feel like .

you want her to be the healthiest version of her and that's correct. Not going to a job SHE hates and or go fighting her own demands of gosh. Do and do I have value if i'm not producing or what or i'm fearful that you're not going to make enough money and whatever that motivation is for her to work, uh, is important to get to because because or IT simply is d SHE just enjoys I get, i'm going to a job.

You hate that we don't want that long term for anybody out there but maybe it's like, yeah I still cause I know some women I mean, there they can't stand stand being at home go functioned so much Better, a Better mom being working or whatever IT may be right. And then also, no, Matthew, you guys the first time parents leave your hand open to a lot that can happen because the moment that baby is born IT changes your world unlike anything you can ever ever explains to someone. So her um her viewpoint may change. Your viewpoint may change. Mean you just you never know until that babies here.

because I new parents take every major decision, three months of OK, give yourself ninety days to be like i'm going full stay at home and then you will we calibrate, put on the calendar?

Does he have a good maternity leave in everything with her? An insurance like how from a corporate samples SHE yeah he does .

get three months off.

So we do have .

a three months window. And yeah I mean, like the ninety days that makes a lot of so stay home here. But just talking to peers and friends are all just like I wish had too much more time with you know, with my baby. And I feel like we're in a position to take .

a venture I know, but you keep using we don't put your story under hers. You'll need to have the conversation about because both of you'll have been saying we're gone to have a baby and he had a picture what that meant, and its informed largely by her childhood. You had a picture what that meant, and that was largely informed by your childhood.

You all need to now do the hard work, which is can also be really fun if you approach you with curiosity, which is, oh, he was my picture of having a baby and here is my picture of having a baby. Now it's let's create one that's going to include both of our pictures that were both in the same page. Otherwise he goes back to work, and you have this, this, this, this building resentment in your gut that your wife are banned in your kid, or SHE just feels forced to stay home, and he starts to resent you, because SHE feels miserable in her house.

He feels trapped in, lonely in her house and he really liked the idea of working IT brought a broader of a fuller picture herself. And you stole that from right? So let let's make sure we avoid that and just call out of the beginning.

No judging the pictures. No judging the pictures. This, just be curious about m, and you thought this be a state? Mom, how do you know me ten years? Yeah, just, I love how my mom was able to do this, this and this. I love seeing a picture of my mom working really hard and coming home with projects. So had explore that together and then come up with a with a ninety day plan or a one hundred eighty day plan, a six month plan, and then promise each other put on the counter, will rea asset OK.

And i'll tell you, I have had some of the most gangster co workers ever who were women who had babies, and they were going to be back in the office the day after the birth, and they never came back and they're off and they're like, did I help my baby and they're like, I think, go back to your stupid, whatever you dumb boys are doing at at the dumb broom table and then I ve the the exact opposite i'm going to be a stay. I'm going to be a stay home and they had that baby in six months and they are like, get me out of here yeah. So just keep your hands open and make sure you have the conversation on a regular basis together because it's going to evolve and shift and change.

Okay, so just keep IT fluid ID obvious ly, keep communication up, see how to leave, go.

but don't use proxy words.

don't use proxy. And i'll just say, as a woman who works, and I came back two weeks early from a training with my first, because I was, I was like, oh my god, I love my job. My god, I miss, I miss me with people. So I actually that versus my third, I actually pulled way back.

You do not I am working .

now but um but so you know I think for women I can feel like I can't take can off rap, especially in the corporate world. And when I hear this, some friends like, if I get off the egg, I can't get back on, that's how IT feels. But you can don't limit yourself, don't have those winners, because when you don't have other options, you make bad decisions out of fear and out of what could be.

Take that off the table too. The sky is the limit, so always remember that. And that's more for her math, you, not for you.

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rams here and i've got a big announcement. I'm coming to a city near you live on the money and relationships tour with doctor john the loney. This is the most interactive event we've ever done.

You get to decide what we talk about. You do not want to miss this were becoming the level germ atlanta, phoenix, fort worth and kenza city in April and may of twenty twenty five. Get your tickets and more information at ramsey solutions. Not come slash tour.

We broadcast this show live every day from wonderful right outside of national tennessee, and it's played on podcast in youtube. And it's always found because the way we built the studio, we moved into building, it's right in the lobby. The studio is with a big glass wall, and people come from all over, and we meet people during the breaks from all over the country.

We have people from organ and california Flora and in the lobby as well. There is a debt free stage, and we have ryan and john standing on that today. Welcome, you guys.

Thank you. Well, congratulations, you're on that stage for one reason and one reason only, because you are debt free. And congratulations. So how much did you guys .

pay off one hundred and ninety eight thousand dollars?

wow. How much money were you making .

there in that time? We started at ninety four thousand and ended about two hundred and seven. okay.

And then how long that take you? I MIT took us a little over seven years. okay.

And what was the almost two hundred k of dead? What was that?

Is our house? Yes, the house .

completely, what got IT was beautiful, completely different .

to broadhouse me.

It's a very california looking house. And you guys are from cycling .

o or a little north of mino, two years north. Coin wood.

having a paid off california home feels impossible. IT seems like the incredibly.

about seventeen .

dollars we wish. No, every about four fifty.

Wow, amazing.

great.

Double your income. God blessed in a lot of different ways. And I made a small career change in about ten years ago. And i've just kind of slowly he's opened all these doors for me and he's just trying to plug along the same way. And yeah, what you guys do, i'm a director for a county office of education.

Okay.

to feel patch.

Okay, amazing. You guys. okay. So what happened seven years ago to start the journey of paying after house?

This is wild. This is wild. SHE came home one day. She's okay. We're going to start this day. Ramsey thing, i'm like, OK, i've heard of him in the A. M.

Radio and and I was like.

okay, let's do IT. You know, we always kind of knew that that was dumb and and we just started and we one, two and three was pretty quick. And I just one, two and three. And then then we just get around in roman.

Yeah, you always talk about guzzle linton city for us. IT was like, we had a little savings. So we just kind of paid, you know, paid a chunk off. We had a little credit card. We paid that off and then built up our savings and um or more of the tortuous, slow, slow you know get IT yeah I had love spread sheet .

so I don't .

know well.

especially with the house and in the interest rate and when you are to see oh, g can cut this down, how much you're saving even just a motivating.

but we kind saved the longer of that. We had a goal of painted off and then starting a remodel OK. Those plans changed when we paid off a mortgage on a friday and the fAllen, like two days later, his car blue up, and then three days later, my car blew up, oh my god.

So thankfully, mine was a covered under recall. So that was all fine, but we ended up having to write to check for a new car, which thankfully we had. Yeah ah I used .

to yes yeah.

but I don't know IT just feels like god has laid this path for us, you know, because of the principles we've learned. It's just know we've had very little stress. Things come up and we just go, oh, you okay, move along.

So yeah so during that time when we talk about baby step two, paying off consumer debt like the aliens city and it's just like Scott dth, you're going on that. But when you get to wear you guys where babies up four, five and six, we say it's more intentional, right? There's gonna.

It's a longer game, right? Seven years, which is faster than the average babies, seven million early, that pays IT off nine. So you guys you had some intensity. So what would you say percent wise was like we're going to throw as much as we can at the house and we're sacrifice in themselves over here verses like we still had a life and we still enjoy things and did up with our family, but then had extra that we put towards the house. What was kind of the baLance for you guys?

I don't know. I feel like we did. I mean, we definitely lived not barred bones, but we were pretty frugal going through the whole thing. But any time we .

would get a raise.

we would just take IT and kind of a joke with my coworkers that I finally get a paycheck because it's like it's felt, you know, like we've been working towards this goal for so long. And so now IT feels a little surreal. We don't know what to do with ourselves.

How long a good you paid IT off.

We paid IT off. We were we were planning november first and we were sitting in foobar practice one day in. We look just went retired to this. And so we just said we're going to paid off tomorrow. So we paid IT off in september instead.

So we had one, if not two months of both of your checks depositing and are sitting there.

Yeah, IT feels really weird. So and you know the nerd and me, I have spread cheats built for the next year and a half. And i'm like, oh my god, like I you know, like IT just feels crazy and feels really crazy.

So what's IT like for you am summing you're not the the spread sheet? No.

not really mean I can use the spread sheet. SHE just tells me what I can and can money. I'm definitely .

the spender is funny because i'm the nerd, but i'm also the spender. Yes sabor, he's just like no lives.

He's good. Yeah ah good just a little yeah okay. You have like your kids felt the effects of IT, meaning like yle and everything like today, are they like all and we .

get I don't know. I feel like, I feel like we had a pretty good baLance.

Yeah, that's so great.

What was your biggest? What was your biggest fight? Your head in seven years .

over the money?

Or just just general five to talk .

about the big fight? Make good radio. Yeah what's your biggest money disagreement? Spending.

purchasing things? I don't know that we we don't really we have to find about money. We're very on the same page. Yeah on that we do parent a lot .

differently. That's for your show. That's all some of you guys. congratulations. So how does that feel?

That feels crazy.

Incredible inning lifted off their shoulders. You know the grasses Greener. Everything is a lot nicer when it's all paid off.

You're not making that payment every month. It's wild, wild where you guys are weird. And we always celebrate the hardness because, I mean, seriously, haven't paid off house.

And then you add california to that. That's the extra layer to this in my head of, I have people feel like that just cannot be done. And you guys, you guys did IT absolute incredible, absolutely a brain, brain.

The kids up. So we have is IT shall be in logan, yes. And how old are they?

Logan is ten and shall be is twenty. So logan.

you've never known your parents not to be crazy right now. You're going to two boring, rich parents. Fine, you want to .

just please. Yeah.

now is the toy phase of our life because we have cut we we don't have many big toys or anything like that just .

between me and you and a couple of million other people. They don't have any more excuses now.

They have got to get you some fun stuff off. Okay, your mom is spender. I see IT and shall take you out, all right.

So you guys so proud of you, I mean incredible family. And to do something that is above and beyond, uh, more people doing the sacrifice is so real. And you get the reward on IT.

You live like no one one else later, get to live and give like no one else. We are so excited. Baby seven, can't believe IT, all right.

So we have johna and ryan shelby, an logan from screen o california. They paid off one hundred and ninety eight thousand dollars in seven years, making ninety four thousand to two hundred and seven thousand. And that includes their house.

So counter dout lets you a big debt free scream three, two, one. AA, incredible. That is so impressive. All is impressive today.

Seven years of doing a thing. Most people in amErica can do something for seven minutes .

without being like .

i'm board something to get a plan. And IT for seven years, not even a house payment .

in in amErica .

what the election results come in either way and not worry that someone is going to want to take your house because they can't cause it's yours. Amazing to congratulations.

guys. Gratulations, this is the ramsey show.

These days, the internet is chockfull of so called investing advice from random gobs with zero qualifications. Listen, folks, you deserve guidance from someone who knows what the flip they're talking about. That's why I recommend the smart vector program. Smart vectors can help you find a professional financial advice, or who can teach you to make your own best decisions with your own money. Get connected at ramsey solutions dot com slash smart vester again, ramsey solutions dot com slash smart vector rams y solutions .

is a paid non client promoter participating prose or more rams y solutions that come slight smart. Hey, welcome back to the rainy show. I'm john, the only joined by Rachel cruise. So here's a trend out. And if you've listen to my show, Rachel, over the last couple of years are taking more and more calls for people strugling with gambling, more gambling and more gambling and now as sports bedding as as municipalities, cities and states have been want to get in on the gambling action, more and more uh places are are legalizing sports bedding specially um on their phones and check this out to this is a an article here. Just as americans spend more money betting on sports than investing in stocks, recent data reveals that since sports bebear has become legalized in much of the U. S, households are divert their income to gambling or rather than investing in the stock market, net in investments have dropped fourteen percent, as in twenty twenty three alone, the american sports sporting industry hit a record breaking ten point nine billion dollars in revenue. So can I say this?

I, as a woman, a girl, I don't know. I, I don't understand, I don't understand. And now going to vega s and i've admitted IT on the show uh and roll some dice and playing some craps is so fun.

The single biggest loss ever taken in my life was standing next to Rachel.

Sometimes IT doesn't always happen, but when you get on when you get on a hot street, it's like so fun because everyone's cheer and and you're making every money. It's IT is a fun entertainment moment. When you bet on sports, you do nothing for the like. You're not you don't get to participate in IT, but I don't understand the fun is it's more fun when you're bedding and you like you're the one playing the game.

yeah. But you're think this is like the whole sports industry of amErica is and instead of going out like my dad, my dad, I have these vivid memories going when I was a kid and my dad had was always in a softball league, always in assistance. We don't do that more. We pay men, other grown men and women, but jillions of dollars to play sports for us. Now we pay them to, like, make us money, to make us money, or to lose money, right?

We've outsourced and those commercials, first part.

what I don't want to give anybody here.

but that was crazy to me, is now you wouldn't you couldn't see that ten years ago, but the commercials for go my g thirty eight .

states have legalized gambling and it's become a growth industry. More than one hundred .

twenty .

billion in total. Oh god, tip.

seven .

billion dollars, two hundred billion investing has taken a hit. And so there is an average seven point seven percent of households made online bats of one of these studies, with about eleven hundred dollars a year. And here's here's the chAllenge IT.

Here's a deal. They know this about a lottery IT impacts low income people more, right? If you, if if you don't only body on your house, a house payment, if your only body credit cards, if you get a stable job, you can go to vex and the box and s if you don't have .

two hundred .

dollars to game well because actually light your water bill and yet you think, mind, if I hit this could change everything for me yes, it's an outsized impact on you for doing the same exact behavior right? Um the study says that financially constrained households um are particularly noticing the negative um effects here .

and I think it's hard to this is what I don't like about gambling the lottery anything anytime you are delegating out winning financially to someone else or to a system is as you're putting your hope in something that that there there's no pay off ten right at different when you're investing over a period time because there is a proven track record that you will your money will try lottery.

somebody wins. Maybe it's gonna be me this time.

but every time you put money in the market, for the most part, over time, over the long call, your money going to make money. But for gambling the lottery, all of IT IT is like this quick is a quick win idea that my life is gona change because of this one play that i'm doing and that's so much easier then playing the longer game financially and check this out um .

as IT applies to the message that dave been talked about for thirty years, increase embedding and consumption drives and increase in financial instability in terms of decreased credit availability and increased credit card and a higher incidents of overdrawn accounts. Was that mean people are putting now that it's all so easy on your phone, everyone who is put on the create card, they're just taking out money and put them on bats and you people going into debt to make financial bets, which in you lose and I ve got to make IT back to to my take out another ones and not found myself over my head .

yeah because what is that? I mean, I think the same is true. Like when you buy something right, the um the excitement the dopa mean, but when you're bedding the .

anticipation, anticipation til page and then whom pay off and which is what your quarters .

are like what like what's going on.

And the nurse ss doesn't matter as much as you have A A biochemical response in your body that begins to build that apprehensions, apprehension, apprehensions and um the great on olympic y describes IT as a teater taught ter the more on one side of the teater er taught ter your bodies way of leveraging IT is to is pain IT hurts right the next morning after a bender IT you are in physical pain in the only way people sometimes handle that pain spite doing IT again right is increasing IT again you use get on the teater title of of anticipation anticipation and well and IT IT dropped you below baseline and so of european falls off a Cliff here and is where the addiction .

starts to playing because some people now it's like the addiction .

is I don't want to hurt, right? And so i'm going to come up with the behavior instead of dealing with that core hurt. I'm going to come up with a behavior in my going to begin to automate the behavior that helps hurt less and unfortunately comes to addiction.

You need more and more of that behavior to cover up higher and higher mounts of pain of as if everybody trying to equalize itself right, give back to they just hurts on top of hurts, on top of hurts. And you find yourself, i'm putting sports gambling on a credit card. It's mess, mess, mess, mess, mess.

What a mess were in um what does this mean? Don't gamble unless you can set that money on fire your living room and you can laugh about IT. Yes, right?

totally. yes. yeah. We always say that. I mean, there's anything that you're doing financially that has a big risk. Gambling would be one playing craps when you're in biggest once a year. I would include that a crypto, I would put crypto u in the same bucket, like anything that does not have a long term track record, anything that has a high level of rests for you to lose that money, even investing in a friends business, or somebody comes to you with this idea.

make sure you've got the other of the barber.

So that's the point is like any time you're going to do any of these like risky level moves financially, to your point emotionally, you have to be able to set that money on fire and you're you're fine, meaning you're out of debt, you have a fully funded emergency fund. You are investing fifteen percent of your own comment to retirement.

So instead of investing going down, the amount of people investing going down and needs to be the opposite for you, you're investing. You need to get yourself in place where you are because that is a proven track record for your money to make money in the long term. And if you have kids, you're going for college, you know your you're paying off the house. And once the house is paid off, then it's OK. I have disposable income. We are in a solid place financially that we're not onna harm ourselves, but you know putting you a small amount of money in this that or that you know playing this, playing that um but just know what you're getting into as well and know yourself there's a level of self awareness that like if you do have that kind of personality that you know yourself that you're gonna keep going here.

Just just I like to say, any sort of advice needs to be for a fun, not for strategy. So if if you want to have a drink with your bodies and you all laugh, a loud to tailed story is great. If drinking makes you feel Better thing of the day, you can deal with that.

If it's a way you can deal with um I remember this is a ark I I used to give us a survey of my grad students. And I remember every year I started stopping the conversation because one of the questions was I need three or four drinks or two or three drinks to engage in some sort of sexual activity and remember saying if you have to drink to override your body's natural break system, don't do that, right? If you have to gamble to feel alive again, go to talk to somebody, right?

Because I want you to feel alive in your own skin. So IT can be fun. But don't use IT as a strategy.

That's a great post. So good. I'll thank you guys for listening and watching if your on podcast or youtube.

But this is IT for you, but make sure to go over to the rams in network APP. IT is completely free and you will get the third hour of the show there. If you're listing on traditional radio, we are still with you. Thank you, america. This is the rams you show.

Hey, you're still here. What are you doing?

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