Episode 18: One of Us Got Peed On
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And we're your hosts for Season 3 of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Cancel. Don't remember doing this at all. I can only hold myself accountable. Cancel. I object! I object!

look how good my life is so what else an emotion is canceled oh ladies and gentlemen ladies and genitals welcome back to another episode of the canceled podcast

Hello. First things first, today we are pulling an episode like we did with Miss Lila Gibney, and we have brought in our best friend. We're auditioning the friend group. Hey, sexies, the baddest bitches in town at the Canceled Podcast. Our most humble friend. No, everyone, just know I'm relatable. Ari's been pitching to me all day that he's relatable.

- Okay. - And I don't mean, honestly, I don't think that's a bad thing. Like, I think to, you're definitely the least relatable person I've ever met. - I don't think so. - No, I love that you feel that way,

It's like very similar to me going around saying that I'm like very go with the flow. Like, oh, no, that's like saying that's like you're relatable to like billionaires. No, you're who relates to you. Come on. OK, let's talk about half the 20 year olds that live on this fucking earth. OK, we'll get into your relatability in a little bit. I'm starting off today really rough. OK, what happened? I'm missing a tooth. Let's see.

This happened last night at Olive Garden. I broke it on an Olive Garden breadstick. Can we just talk about that? Can I tell you something that happened to me once? No, sorry to make this about me. No, go ahead. It wasn't about me. We got Krispy Kremes one time. She lost a tooth in Krispy Kreme. That's what I like. How do you but how do you lose a tooth in something that soft? Fawn, we love you. Like, I'm sick. And look at my little yellow shark tooth under it.

Shark. Imagine, you know you have to get those redone like every 20 years. Imagine like. Well, I'd love to wait that long. No, I was telling Amari, like imagine you go dead broke. We have to like split it. Like you can't be out with shark teeth. Well, that's what happens to a lot of people. Do you think I'm going to go dead broke? No, we're saying worst case scenario. No, but that's a serious thing that happens to people. People like they'll invest in veneers, but then it's like you don't understand the upkeep of it because it's like that's a permanent. Well, here's the thing though. I would be so satisfied to replace them every 20 years.

Babe, you haven't had them for 20 years. I replace them every 20 minutes. Like, I'm sick. I'm furious. I think today I'm going to get an entire new mouth of veneers. She's going to look like a horse. What I will say is that I think that you might

It might be in your best interest to retire your current dentist and move forward. I'm getting gas lit. It's just like, Tennessee's like minus 1.5% on the total price. She's like, fuck, I love you. She's like, I'll do it for a tag. He must be great. And then she gets these chiclets that fall out every fucking few seconds. As Lila said, her black fucking tooth.

- Oh my God, one time I was like roasting Lila and she goes, "Shut the fuck up with your black fucking veneers." - Dude, Lila doesn't like it. - Wait, can we show them the black one? - There's a black one? No, it's this one. Here's the thing. So at one point I was gonna replace them all, right? This is so ratchet. - What the fuck happened? - Oh, so you got a whiter one to match your ones that you were planning to get. - Yeah, and then I just never did it. So I have one tooth that's like shades lighter. So the ones around it look super dark, but they're the same color. I don't even know. Today I think I just need a whole new mouth of them. But last time I did this,

Like it was, it was so, I was in so much pain. This is like really, really morbid though. This is so morbid. But when I, when I, I don't know if you relate to this, maybe this is fucked up. If I'm in a lot of pain, I cause myself more pain in other areas. No, that's normal. Okay. So I was every day, like I'd be in so much pain for my mouth and I'd be off so many pain pills. I was dating Lil Xan, giving him one, like every two seconds, you know, um,

And I was taking these pain pills, but I was in so much like mouth pain that I was clawing my legs as hard as I could to the point that I have like scars and I was bleeding. Well, that's it's true because there's no pain like tooth pain. Like I swear to all of them hit by a car than have like a bad, bad cavity. That's the facts.

- I couldn't agree more. And it's all in your teeth. - I grew up, my teeth, I've had, I think, 12 cavities filled one time in one appointment. - Felt, felt. - Oh no, that wasn't me. I feel like I was very clean. I didn't have a lot, never had a lot of cavities brushed my teeth twice a day. - Well how often did your family take you to the dentist? - Yeah, see we have a different situation going on for us. - What? Every six months? - I'd go for a whitening once a year, I'd go every six months for a cleaning. - A whitening!

Wait, can we just like hide? No, no braces. No, nothing. No, you look gorgeous. I have literally never, ever had braces. Never had a retainer. Never. No, but that is a thing. And I just called a blessing. That is a, it is a blessing girl. I had a gap tooth. I was, I looked like a horse girl. I mean like a lot of America at least doesn't have the privilege of going to the dentist all the time. And I was that way. I think I went to the dentist actually for the first time when I was like probably like 13. There's no way. There's absolutely no way. I was probably, yeah. Like,

And it was like, I had to be like bleeding. So what was going on with your teeth? I had 12 cavities to be filled at one time. That's same. That's like why I had to get veneers and shit. Like same.

There's no way. I understand the exaggeration, the drama. No, no, no way. You didn't go to the dentist for 13 years. Dr. Tran, my dog. I was literally just with him from like six years old to now. Yes. So as you guys can tell, Ari grew up very different from us. And but that's why I mean, like, honestly, like, I love your perspective. We have very different perspectives on life. I'm relatable.

I would love to like put him in like a simple life setting. It would be so fun. If I ever did simple life, I think it'd have to be with Ari. Like that type of vibe. Just like the idea of Ari. I remember one day Hunter hired him to be his like PA. Don't ever, ever that day. I've never worked so fucking hard and never. Don't ever. He had to hold the light. I was there. He held the light. He held the reflector. For nine hours. For nine hours.

And didn't get paid. So. Did Hunter not pay? No. But at the time you didn't know that you weren't going to get paid. For sure. Of course, I'm not going to do something if I'm not getting paid. But I'm just saying I worked my ass off, didn't get paid and didn't complain. So for y'all going to tell me I never had a job. That's a fucking lie.

You did. No, you actually, I do agree. You worked really hard that day. I worked for Alani X Hunter Moreno. And that was Ari's first job. Didn't get paid. He worked 24 hours on the job. Wait, not even. That's so noble of you. What's that? Today's going to be a day. This woman, I've lived with her for two years. We've been like besties for like four. I've smoked with her every five seconds of my life. I was in the car. I got in the car so excited to have this joint for the car. Waited the whole time just to get to the car.

And she goes, Ari, I'm getting really secondhand high. If you can just put that out in 48 seconds, I'm putting the eject button on. No, and honestly, eject. And Kyla goes, where did we get that? Like, I understand you bought the fucking car, but like, you can't like go back on your word. Like,

six months ago, you would tell the person in the backseat or you would tell the person in the frontseat, shut the fuck up. No, I know. You're not going to get high from my secondhand smoke. I actually genuinely feel like such a hypocrite because I, being a stoner my entire life, hated that bitch who was in the car. Like Ashley. No, Shia, you can't be around it. Ashley. Like I'd get furious. I'm like, remove myself. I would literally get furious at Ashley because she'd be like,

don't smoke in my car like I'm gonna get high and it's like you're such a fucking pussy I can't fucking deal and I like now I am that like I became the person I hate because I don't smoke and when you don't smoke the contact high does kind of like there's no way you're such a liar you agree you don't smoke if you sit in like a car where there's like smoke do you get high well that's like I accepted that as my new normal because I choose my friends wow gross they are you guys but I did I actually have noticed that I felt like there was like a like a probably six month period oh man

- Brooks coming out with on-man merch. - I spilled my whole happy dad. - Dude, I'm not gonna lie, I love happy dad, but watermelon's not. - Let me try it. - No, yours is nasty, but mine's good, try it. - Lemon lime is the, I don't care. Anything Steve does, Steve, Nelk, any of them do. - Steve will do what's your number one celebrity crush, huh? - No, not celebrity crush. I've never like, everyone I feel like in LA, like everyone, all of our friends used to watch YouTube and YouNow and Vine and all. I didn't watch a Vine. I didn't watch YouTube. I didn't watch nothing until I was a little-- - Well, you're younger than that.

But no, like, no, not really. I feel like your generation wasn't Vine. No. Well, I never, like, watched anyone. I was never a fan of anyone. And then literally recently, I started watching Steve Will Do It vlogs. No, but you verbatim said you would, like, suck the fucking soul out of him. For sure. Of course. Are you fucking joking me? Duh. Duh. What? He just lost... Oh, my God. He just got brand new veneers. Shit. He's lost so much weight. He's rich as hell. He...

- No, but I grew up, I feel like I was the opposite. I literally grew up like a super fan of everybody. - I didn't give a fuck. - Like that was my only like sense, I think maybe it has something to do too with like the hopefulness. - That's so true. Like he had a great rich life. - Yeah, so he didn't have, but to us it was like, I idolized these people and people that we hang out with now, I was a fan of maybe five years ago. - That's the most insane thing 'cause I promise you the only thing I watched, you could ask anyone in my family, the only thing I watched was like "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."

But that explains why you idolize Kris Jenner. Like, that's my bitch. Like, that's my girl. She told me about you the other day. She said you were disgusting, rowdy, nasty, nasty. I got canceled the last episode. Wait, why? In every single comment. I didn't get canceled. I just got shit on. What'd you do? You have any idea? Wait, which episode? Ours.

I would have known about it. I read the comments. My tracks. Every single one of my tracks were out. And I know I'm talking, I'm talking like, basically when they grow up. It looked like she just put them on top. Yeah, like I'm talking utterly. Like she was gonna put a hat over it. Like, no, like across the whole thing. Because it's like when the extensions are bleach blonde and then you start to grow brown roots, you can like completely see them. And last episode, I was like two seconds from a hair appointment. By the way, I need another one though. This is not it either. Um,

Kimmy. I'm going through a hair crisis right now, but don't worry. We're rejuvenating. But it was really bad. I think it was like my worst track moment on the internet in a really long time. I would love to see it. Buenos Dias World from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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I feel like it's just like that too. Were you there the other night at the party? Yes. There's this boy that I'm enamored by. I really care about whatever. And I was dead set on like looking like so good. Like just so that, you know what I mean? And he like cares about that shit. He's like very much into fashion and like looking good. And I'm standing with him. I'm like, I look so good. I'm wearing just like a plain black outfit. I wore a turtleneck, Brooke. I wore a turtleneck to a party. And I'm not talking under boob. I'm talking like full fucking turtleneck.

I love that. Huge though for me. I'm wearing a turtleneck, whatever. And I turn around to the bar to get water and he goes, hold on one second. Fixes my try. But like this, ready? Turn around.

Honestly, goaded for doing that. That's sweet of him to do. So bad. But it's also like, at that point, I'd rather you just literally ignore it and pretend it never happened and shut the fuck up. No, it was just so embarrassing because I was doing everything to look good for him. It's not that I don't think it's as embarrassing as you think it is. I really don't. Your tracks are out all the time. I don't mean this in a rude way, but no one's looking at you and thinking like, oh, I bet that's her natural hair. No, fair. I agree. So to see your track is like, okay, hold on. Let me just fix it really quick. It's like having a tag out. I just like fucking like, ugh.

Like I don't even know I need the oven It is because it's like someone that you're interested in if like someone I like found attractive or something pointed out like oh like you have something on your face I'd be like oh I have to die. You know I hate people like that like hey I Would you rather somebody just not tell you no absolutely the fuck not nothing makes me more mad And I'll literally punch you square in the fucking face if I go up to you And you got something your nose you got something your teeth or something. I'm like wait

And then they're like, oh my God, like literally what was

Was that what you were saying? No, yeah, we were on the same page, but I think that I thought... Yeah, you thought something different, but I hate people like that. But if it was me and I had something in my teeth... I'd want to know. I always would want... No, if it's my friends, I don't give a fuck. When it's someone you like and it's just like... Yeah, I would have been like, fuck. But I guarantee it wasn't... He didn't think of it the way that you're thinking of it. He's also sober and that kills me because then I just get drunk and forget things. Wait, like sober, sober? Sober, sober. Sober, sober. Sober, sober. Cut him off.

Well, I also am just obsessed with the chase and like we haven't done anything. So it's like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just like keep it that way. I feel like for a while because it'll make you feel excited about something. And that's how you get over someone, in my opinion or in my experience.

The only thing, and it's toxic and it's awful, but it's like the only thing that actually successfully gets me over anyone is having somebody new to be excited about. I agree. Whether it's somebody who you're actually going to end up with or not. I hate that. And I want to work through it in therapy so bad, but I cannot. I know, but for now it works. Listen, I love a quick fix and that to me works. So I support that 100% whether you think you're going to actually end up with this guy or not. Up in the air, but it's fun. I really want to. No, you don't.

You have no idea if he's a serial killer or not. I actually, he actually serves me very much. He's a sweetheart. Like Joe from You Know, like stalker. Oh man. Like even today. He serves me. Even today. He serves me gonna get me in trouble one day. Even today. As in.

He texted me, is it veneer time today? He texted me, is it veneer time today? I said, weird. I was just texting you. Are you stalking me? He said, that's hot. I am, period. The period kind of sketch. That's not cute either. Right? No. What's hot? Show me the video right now. No, just a photo. He said, do we like this? No, not hot. He's hot. Hot. Not like I'm in love hot. Definitely hot for skinny, white, love, skinny, white. Think about the celebrity that he looks like.

- Correct. - He doesn't look like that celebrity. - No, but it doesn't matter. They have the same energy. - No, you wanna know why, but the thing is, is you like that celebrity because he's a celebrity and look like that. - That's not true. If you look like you're dying, I love you. Tell me that doesn't give you Pete energy.

The one photo that his face is not in it. His face isn't in this photo, by the way. It does, but also, you know who he looks exactly like in that photo? Travis Mills. I was trying to fuck T-Mills for years. I was trying to fuck T-Mills for years. I am currently. T-Mills, if you're seeing this. If he's single, he will absolutely fuck you. No, he just, I DM'd him. He followed me. I love him. If you're watching this, let's. He asked us to go host like a thing of his show. Should we go? But you just show up in like lingerie.

correct yes yeah it's kind of everything so hot i literally you know how i found him this is how i find everybody you guys know there is steve brooke i saw a video of him online and i was like you know what he's so hot so i dm'd him and he i dm everyone if i'm on tiktok and i'm my favorite thing to do during the day so i'm on tiktok scrolling and like my tiktok is just your whole for you page is hot men hot men hot literally white boys i'm

And so all I do is literally scroll and scroll and scroll. And then I'll see a hot one. Do you know the other day, I followed this guy on TikTok and he slid in my DMs and he was like, hey. And I was like, hey. And then he was like, I've been DMing you for an hour.

He's like this random fucking guy in like Oregon. Do you want to know the craziest story ever? Not crazy. This boy I was talking to for at least when I lived in New York, I lived in New York. I was talking to him. I would see him every single day. Reason why? Didn't do good in school. Talking, talking, talking. Moved to Vegas. Talking, talking, talking. Moved to LA. Talking, talking, talking. He DM swayed. Trying to get at her.

While talking to me. And literally showed me this kid. And Swade goes, oh my God, he's so cute. Like, look at this kid. And you were like. And my jaw just dropped. I'm like. His dick has been in my mouth before. What do you mean he's so cute? Like, what do you mean? Do you want to fight? I almost knocked this bitch out. We're on the 215. 215 and fucking literally rainbow, bitch. I will never forget. She showed me his Instagram. I go.

Hold on. I go, who? And then... That happens to us, you know? Oh, and it was the worst thing ever. Like, they go for me. To be fair, your thing, though. Don't say you're not allowed to say that. No, you're not allowed to say that. But I want to agree on it. Yes, agreed, but you're not allowed to say that. Well, no, then let me think of a way to say it. You like guys a lot of times with girlfriends. Because you want to know why? Because...

They end up literally being up my ass and having the girlfriend, but then telling me they don't have the girlfriend anymore, talking to me for months. And then I know you're right. And then they have the girlfriend. And then I'm like, OK, why is that my problem? I mean, it's my problem in the end because like I'm upset, like I'm sad, like you have a girlfriend. You want to play me, but you still have the girlfriend. And then the girlfriend. I want to tell a story about that.

Something Ari's done one time. And I think it's very, it encompasses Ari very well to introduce him to this podcast. It's not that bad. It's really not. I don't think it's that bad. I don't think it's that bad either. She's going to literally just PTSD my ass. It's okay. It's okay. You were talking to this guy for a while. And to be fair. So long.

Like, he was coming over. He was cute. He was mad into you. He served us very much into Ari, like, in his bed. Like, whole thing. Like, hooking up. Like, liked you. Like, you know what I mean? Whatever. And one day, he comes out and he says that he...

has a girlfriend apparently and there was a day where Ari and him were supposed to do something and he went to go like build a desk for her why do I think it was like during Christmas time like he was gonna give her a desk or something for Christmas like a vanity he built this bitch a desk and was texting me the entire time like look at this desk I'm building like so fun sick sick so Ari's furious right and so he posts a photo with the girl I think I don't even think it was her I think it was her hand or whatever it was her hand on his neck like this

It was her hand on his neck like this, like choking him like, eh, eh, eh, eh. And obviously I see that. It was on Finsta. Ari gets this bitch's phone number and sends her money and captions it so you can get a manicure. Your nails look horrible.

- He sends this bitch. - He said horrible. - Horrible. - They were horrible. Bitch, they were literally like this. And I commented on the photo. I go, she needs a mani. And she commented back to me and she goes, OMG. And I go, what's your number sis? I sent her $50. I was like, bitch, get a manicure. If you're gonna be on my man, get a manicure.

This man fully went to literally went to the Grove with me Tana Ashley like literally we were all up in what's that story? We were just all together all the time. He slept over fucking weeks. No, he was wrong. He was wrong and he was playing that bitch and

- And now they live together. - She was kind of being a cunt about it, so I completely understand. I would probably do the same thing. It was just funny. - I feel like it is, that's the best kind of passive aggressive where it's like, no, help me help you. It's absolutely the way you can be the meanest. - Also, this man came to Tana's event, Halloween event,

Like two weeks ago with that bitch. I forgot about that. And they, I walked in looking good as hell, walked in security escorting us, whatever, to the VIP section. And this motherfucker and his girlfriend are standing on the gate to the VIP section. Diablo's about to perform and Ari goes up to Diablo and goes, can you please get him out? He's upsetting me. Man isn't doing shit.

No, no, no, no, no, no. They were staring. The girlfriend's staring because she also wants to fuck me. Really weird. Yeah, they asked you for a threesome at one point too, which is just. You asking me for a threesome? My man. Buenos dias world from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Can we talk about when you two first met? It was when she sat us down at catch the second day I lived here, June 15th. I still don't, like, I don't, of course I remember that, but, like, I recall I just texted Paige Arthur Wings. I'm like, my big debut. You know, I got in trouble on the...

Paige is coming in the next episode. I got in trouble on the last podcast because everyone's like, what could Brooke possibly be doing on her phone? Like, it's not more important than the podcast that Paige just built. Paige just brought in 100 wings. And what were you doing texting Paige? No, I was texting my dad last time. But this time I texted Paige and I said, are there wings? Anyway, my first, like, the first time I can recall meeting you was at Tana's 20, what were we, 22, I think. 22. 22nd birthday party. What?

Yeah, it was only like June, babe. It was a week after. So you're going to tell me the pool situation happened after her birthday? Yes, it did. Oh, wow. The pool situation. Keep going, you guys. I want to hear it, Brooke. Go. It did. I remember vividly, okay? Ari and I were in the closet. Tana had rented like a really like beautiful Airbnb for her birthday. And he and I were in the closet and he's talking to me. I'm like, that's so funny for you because like...

Oh, because I was in the closet. Shit. Continue, bro. Continue. We were in this massive closet. That's where I was all night. And we're just chatting about all these things. And he just keeps telling me. But at the time, he wasn't in an all pink outfit, okay? He wasn't wearing glasses. Nails pink, not knit, yeah. He was very, like, I feel like at that time you were kind of, like, more straight after.

He just had a girlfriend, basically. You know what I mean? Yeah, so I'm like, this is just this hot kid who's just talking to me or whatever. And he keeps telling me, you're so hot. You can do all this. And you were hyping me up, but I was like, this guy's trying to fuck me for sure. I was. For sure. And so I'm having fun at the party or whatever, but I text my really good friend Savannah, and I text her, and I'm like, I'm going to hook up with this

this 18 year old. I'm pretty sure you were like, at the time you were like 18 and you go, I'm a cougar, I'm gonna hook up with this 18 year old. At least I'm hot, right? Yeah,

And a couple weeks passed. You're at Alamar. I think you were staying at Alamar at the time. My old house. Yeah. And, like, every time I go over there, I'm like, ugh, I love Ari. I remember. I talked about it with, like, ten different people, and everyone at that time thought you were straight. None of us knew you that well except for, like, obviously... I'm straight. Like, Tana and Amari knew you at that time, but, like, I was, like, naive. So I'm like, I'm gonna hook up with this guy. Like, I have the biggest crush on him ever. To be fair, when I first... So, fun fact, when I first met him... Tana wanted to fuck me. Well, okay, so I... The first time I ever, like...

I mean, like, I'd met you before, but the first time I ever realized, like, oh, I want to be close with him was actually at my wedding. I was having, like, the worst fucking night. What?

I was going through it, whatever. And your energy was just fire. And then I come back to Vegas the next time and I'd been like texting you, DMing you. But I remember showing your Instagram to like one person. I was like, is this guy hot? And which is so disgusting. What do you mean? It's so disgusting. You're my brother. Yes, but that's disrespectful to say that's disgusting. I get so mad when I say that, but it's just like, I'd rather hook up with my dentist later today than Dr. Gabe's hot. Oh,

If you want to give me a free veneers. Then you like, I just can't like, I don't think about it like that. And then I, no, but listen, not that I would hook up with you, bitch. It's just the fact that every time we bring this shit up, you're talking about that shit's disgusting. That's just this. Look at your fucking last past men, bitch. I'm sexy as hell. You're beautiful. I was sexy. Don't fuck with me. I,

I'd rather die. I would fuck you. You already know it. No, but point being is so the first time we ever hung out was late at night in Vegas to smoke. 4 a.m., bitch. It was like 4 a.m. and you were picking me up. And in my head, I was like, is he going to try to like fuck me? And then I get in the car. And then I get in the car and I realize, oh, shit, no, this is just like my best friend forever. But it's just like very funny to think like.

That like that it's the origin of a lot of people I feel like girls in our lives friendship or even Lila like you know Everybody starts out having a crush on you. I feel like everyone beautiful and you dress great. You're great. Yeah, I'm fucking hot No, it's my point is even if you were like literally actually heinous and awful your confidence like the way like the way that your your ego no offense, but like

You have an arrogance about you that makes you hot. And obviously that is why you pull bitches. And I'm not saying you don't pull bitches. You just became my brother. You know what I mean? So it's just like different. But I get it. But I want to hear about this pool situation. I remember exactly what I was wearing. I remember the weather that day. I remember everything about it because I got fired from my job that day. Okay. Basically the whole group, all of us had COVID at the same time. Tana was the only one who tested negative. So Tana had to get a separate house.

So Tana wasn't with us. Tana had that insane house. But we were all just living together because we were like, fuck. Like, we all got COVID. So we had the best time, whatever. Lights go down. Me and Ari, everybody goes swimming. And me and Ari were like canoodling in the pool.

No way. I was like, I didn't have any swim shorts. I literally moved to LA with one suitcase. I lived in LA for three months with one suitcase. I literally jump in the fucking pool. I didn't have anything. So I literally get in my underwear, jump in the pool and Brooke goes, that was so hot. Just like that. I jump, I dive in the Alamar. She goes, that was so hot. And I'm in the pool grabbing her ass. Swear to fucking God. Swear to fucking God he was grabbing her ass. Oh my God. I feel like that's

It's in time. I'll never forget. I literally remember. We were lit. It was Amari, Ashley, me, you, and Michael. I swear to God, I was grabbing up on her, kissing on her. Not in her lip. We never, like, made out. We've never, like, hooked up at all. In my head at that time, I'm like, oh, my God. It was, like, right after we were getting out of the pool to fuck. I thought that was going to happen. So did I.

It's dramatic now, but it is so funny now to think about. This is some tea. It's some shit I've never heard. I mean, I guess we could talk about like... Well, so now, with that being said, with that being said, no, shut the fuck up. Literally, die. With that being said, you are good at being with a girl. It's not that. It's just the idea of being with asses is gross. I think, yeah. Actually, when...

So when I was living at this COVID free house, I was staying there with Hunter and Francesca and Apollo too. Who knows? At the time, I was close with this girl. The most beautiful girl in the world. And I was inviting her over all the time. And she walks in the first day and Ari's like, I'm in love with this girl. I'm in love with this girl. And she was in love with you too.

And you guys immediately, like, literally just start dating. Like, they hang out, like, one fucking time. They start dating. Well, no. I take that back. You hung out probably, like, four times. And then she started just sleeping over every night. And I just started falling in love. And I just will never forget the, like...

Well, I will never forget is that still at this point, I think this man is fully straight. I feel like me and him are really vibing. I'm so jealous. I'm like, what the fuck? But do you want to know why I did love her? It's because the first day she ever came over, I ran upstairs to your bathroom at Cherokee and I go, whatever. I go, why won't Amari fuck me?

And then I go, and then Abby's sitting here. I forgot about this. Oh, my God. That's how I got in the friend group. And I thought I'm, like, fucking up my chances with her. I'm like, wait. And then she never cared. She slept in my bed the other night. I love that about her. She woke up. We woke up. She looked at me. She was just, like, asking, like, about, like, my past and, like, who I've been with and, like, what I've done. And I was like, wow, I'm so fucking in love with you. You don't care about my. Oh, my God. She's like, really fucking cool. Like, someone, like, really not caring. Just so awesome. I'm kind of that way.

I don't like, I feel like if I found out, like if I really liked a guy and I found out he like also liked guys, I don't, I don't, I actually don't feel like I would really care. That's why. Never. Now, baby, now I know. And now I feel so grateful that you've never touched me. Wait, no. And to preface that, not being like, I have something or I do like, she's just saying because we're close. Not because. Not like I have. No.

got herpes from that Ari nobody got herpes vibes from that you go thank god I didn't get the two well the reason I say that is because you and I out of everyone in the friend group

You and I fight like like exponentially more. I fight everyone in the front group more than anyone. I know but for years now now I'm a fighter. Insane like fucking crazy. I'm sorry but what I'm saying is like for a long time Ari was the only one I like would fight with. Now me and you we bicker like whatever. It's okay though. No but I get it. Ari's like the first one like it's he like Ari's the easiest to fight with because he's down. Like everything you say

in the nicest way possible is infuriating. - Well, but if you take it with a grain of salt, of course, but if you fight with Ari, like the thing about Ari is you're always down. Like sometimes I'm just bored and you say some shit and I'm like, what the fuck you say bitch? - The thing is we like fighting. - Yeah, he's an easy target. - It's like really toxic. - Like I just thoroughly enjoy fighting with you. - And like I love to just like-- - Mustard for the pretzels. - Like you're talking about he's an easy target, bitch. I'm the only target. I love being the target. Fight me, bitch. Imagine being me just moving to LA,

And being with this girl, and then she's, like, also fucking with the most lit rapper. I was intimidated. I was like, wait, what the fuck is going on? And then the first party I go to, I'll never forget it. This TikToker comes up to me. He's one of my favorite people now. Literally love my life. And he's just talking to me. Huge TikToker now. I'm talking one of the biggest on the platform. He's just talking to me about, like, we were talking about cigarettes. And how we love cigarettes when we're drunk. Blase, blase, blase. Not...

20 minutes go by. We're literally sitting there talking. 21 minutes go by. I don't see him and I don't see her. What were they doing? They were in his car having sex, which I found out later. While they were having sex, I found out they were in his car. So imagine me. I'm just sitting in the corner of this party like 10 days into living here. I'm just like, okay. And then the rapper walks into the party.

She gets out of the car and leaves with him, huh? Gets out of the car, goes with him. And I'm just like, okay. Goes with him the night and then comes home with me, sleeps in my bed. We restart the next day. And which is the reason why we don't talk anymore was because I had it with that and I was really drunk one night and I let her have it because of that situation. So you let her sleep in your bed that night? We slept together for like two months straight. I never wanted to sleep without her.

I'm going to say episode. Oh my God. Wait, but now she's taking in a beautiful relationship. I respect them both. I love them both. She is a cute, she honestly is a cute, like I love that girl. I think you love them both, but if at any moment you could steal his bitch back, you would. She's the baddest bitch in LA. She's so hot. She's the baddest bitch in LA, but he's also hot. I'm like, I'll have them both.

Would you have a threesome with them? I love when you use threesome as a verb. I love it when you say that. Would you threesome them? On this couch. On this couch, I'd fuck both of them. You don't want to know something? I've been having threesome problems. What are your threesome problems? He keeps suggesting every time we go out, we'll just be having a good time. I feel like it's going good. And then he'd be like, what about her? I'm like, fuck. I honestly hate when people do that. If I'm not presenting it. If you're buying me shit, okay.

But like yeah my thing with threesomes. I don't like I don't I'm not against that at all I don't I don't feel I feel like I'm in a phase of my life where I'm like a very jealous person I was about to say knowing you and I couldn't see you have no it is Can I tell you something with before him? I've never been jealous like that Even if I love like love love love the guy I swear to God I've never had a moment where I'm like, oh my god that dumb bitch like I

Like, this is the first guy that I've ever been like, oh my God, like, why is he looking at her? Why is he talking to her? I think it completely depends on the person because Chris Miles, for example, to me always will be like, why can't we have a threesome? And I'm like, I used to have hookup threesome, foursome moments all the time with like several of my exes. But it's like, because of the way they made me feel. Like, they made me feel so secure in us being together. Yeah.

And like that that was just an addition that it's fire. But if someone makes you feel like you have to be threatened by the third person. Or like they're going to go fuck them. That's the problem. If somebody already if you already feel insecure in a relationship, which I clearly do in like that situation. I don't want to feel. It's not cute. I don't want to. I don't want to have to think after the fact about how like how you were with her, how you like. I don't ever want to think about that ever.

And I have friends who have like threesomes all the time. And I have friends who do it healthily and toxically. I'm sure you're thinking of the same person. Yes. Like one of our best friends, like she always does it. And then she'll like see the bitch out that they fuck and she'll be like all over her man. And it's like she's furious. Yeah. And it's like I don't want to live like that. I don't. If I love the person, I'm not having a threesome with you. If I'm like casually attracted to a person. If I love you and you're secure as fuck and I know you're going to like.

just be homies with that girl and like shit's fine sure but like if yeah if i were married and secure and whatever but like yeah my current situation especially with this joe guy fucking joe i love joe i know we all went you know we all went to breakfast the other day really yeah with joe really joe and i don't get invited to this shit because i'm a cunt joe and her were stranded outside of their gate me and brooke had plans so i picked them both up and we had a wonderful lunch um but to that

Topic is it weird that I can never ever have a threesome with two guys But I'll have a threesome with the girl you wouldn't get Eiffel Tower That's actually now that I've pegged get he can't get up. What do you mean? I what what but whole and a mouth Oh, wait, what's Eiffel Tower? Fine in back in the middle fuck you guys are like this. That's what's your dream Eiffel Tower both of you Pete and Justin

- Easy. - Oh my God, are you ready? - Or I don't know though, like Lil Wayne and Drake. - Ew. - I shouldn't say that. Lil Wayne's gonna text me some crazy shit. Hey, wanna go to Paris? What's my dream for the dream of a car? - Okay, mine is... - Come on. - I'm like, we can probably guess the first one. Honestly, I want you guys to guess. Say it. - Lil Nas X.

No, he rejected me too many times. That wasn't it? And we both guessed it. He never rejected me, by the way, everyone. He just... No, he said, I like your glasses. In person, but on the internet, when he's seen me a hundred times... Okay, my dream threesome would definitely be... Go, go, go. Michael Yerger and his twin. Who's his twin? He doesn't have one. What?

Hold on, I want to dive into talking about him. What about, what's his name who looks just like Michael Yerger? Stephen Kelly. Hot. Michael Yerger and Stephen Kelly. No, no, no, no, no, no. My dream threesome, honestly. Stephen Kelly's gonna, you've done so much shit with him as a friend, he's gonna be like, what the fuck? No, that's why I said no. I want to fuck Stephen Kelly. Stephen Kelly, if you're seeing this. No, Michael Yerger and Kyle Kuzma. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaking of threesome, Ari, one time, and I'm not going to say the time because I'm not fetting anyone out. I was on a trip with Ari, right? And we're there. That's my dream. And so one of the hottest artists in the world, like musical artist, he's a guy. And his girlfriend, who's also one of the hottest models in the world, were trying so hard to threesome you. Can I guess?

I'm sure you know. Yes. Yeah, so... I just want to talk about it. You wanted his girlfriend before him, actually, which is... Duh. Everyone in the world wants him. But then it was like... But then it was like... No, no. Of course I wanted him first. I've wanted him ever since I started listening to his music. Are you joking me? Okay. But then...

Get to this vacation and they're just the first ones in the door and I'm just like wait like best-looking couple Oh my the hottest like just imagine being like with the hottest people ever Of course, you're gonna think some shit want some shit and we got close you almost got in bed with them That I feel like is an ideal situation as a threesome member I feel like you would want to be with a couple cuz then it's like the drama is beside of you I think I would do anything

I don't know. I also hate threesome being a couple because you're just like second to them. Yeah, you're definitely second, but I don't think in that case. In that case, you're exciting to the both of them. Exactly. So why would they be like... Yeah, but then it's like, get the fuck out of my bed. Like, I want like the control. No, but if a couple's having a threesome, they want something new. Yeah. And I would love the idea of being like the exciting, like new member. I'm so opposite. I'd so much rather be the couple and like bring someone in. I'm just in love with them both. I tell them probably all the time. And like, they know.

They're our friends, but they know I would literally marry them both. I think I'm going to marry one of them. I honestly don't. The girl or the guy? The girl. Oh.

Shit. Wasn't she sending you, like, pictures? My biggest girl crush in the world. Okay, wait. So now I have a list of things. Oh my goodness. And that's why I'm just like, I never will say I'm gay because women are the most beautiful, beautiful, beautiful things to walk the planet. I just can't imagine you, like, eating the fuck out of someone's pussy. I don't want you to say that anymore. Honestly, her and the love of my life, I think... But, like, full, like...

You had to do the visuals? The visuals was crazy. I think I would do better than that. Well, obviously, I would hope. But like, would you actually be like face in some pussy? Duh. Did you see on TikTok the Chanel advent calendar? What the fuck was that? Stickers. Stickers. Chanel stickers. Stickers? From...

So basically, if you guys don't know, Chanel released and a lot of brands do this. Like Dior did it. They did it so well. I think Louis Vuitton did it too, where they release an advent calendar, like a Christmas one, like where you open a thing every day. And like, normally it's like chocolate, but designer brands are doing it. And they're like a thousand dollars. And then there's a bunch of like designer shit in it. Chanel released one that was $850. No, $875. And all that was in it was like stickers. Well, like a paperweight. A paperweight.

A bracelet with a plastic Chanel thing. It looked like a hair tie. No, there was like a thing that closed an envelope. Like just like a glorified sticker. Like, come on. Like, I think like temporary tattoos. It said a sticker sheet. Like literally on Chanel, it said sticker sheet. I don't ever want to see that. The most luxurious thing in the entire thing was a lipstick and it was a mini lipstick.

Like that is so, you, for like, for a fact, for $850, the amount of makeup you could buy at Chanel too is crazy. Like three, four, four things. Maybe like five products. Everything's like $125. No, no, no, no. Like, no, it's like $80. Yeah. Really? Not even. Not even. Well, I mean, I don't even,

No, that's not even true. Even like Dior, same thing. It's like, like a lip gloss is like only like 45. Dior's makeup is dead. Beautiful. Lipsticks, mascaras. Mini foundations, like whole thing. Everything. And it was half the price, 500 bucks. What would you do if you bought that Chanel lipstick?

What would you do? Oh, no, no, no. I don't know because, like, Chanel, Chanel, Chanel, Chanel, Chanel is Chanel. Like, Chanel wins. But that's fucking disgusting. You're going to jip people that hard? Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know what I would do. Like, what would you do? Would you, like... I'd be furious. Well, duh, be furious, but, like...

What do you think they're gonna do? How do you think they're gonna respond to that? - Yeah, that's the thing. What was that girl, the girl on TikTok who does a PR move? - Did all the PR for them. - PR moves that I would do if I was-- - I love her. - Love her. - Girlboss town. - Yes, girlboss town, shout out. - She's the best. - She is the best, but she was like, "PR moves that I would do if I were Chanel." - But you know they're not gonna do any of that. - Of course they're not. - 'Cause they're either like, "Oh, we know better than you." - I feel like at that point, they're doing as well as they are, and I think--

I feel like that kind of publicity, they're like, okay. Nothing can stop them. Yeah. Yeah, but that's just sad. It's crazy. If it was sad, I'd be so pissed. Well, first of all, I would never spend $875 on an advent calendar. That's like borderline. That's a big part of a bag from Chanel. I almost bought it. That's like one-fourth of a Chanel bag. No, no, no, no. A $4,000 bag. But they've... Brand new bag has...

A small bag, though, or like a wallet. Like I'm just saying, it's a portion of a Chanel item. So if I spent $900 on a fucking Chanel advent calendar and it was that shit, like I would be so mad. I'd be so mad. Infuriated. But then at what point are you like, okay, well, what the fuck was I doing buying a Chanel advent calendar? Well, like imagine people that look... Like love Chanel. We know hundreds of fucking people that would throw away $850 to post a Chanel advent calendar. Are you kidding? I almost fucking bought the thing.

You fair. Yep. He has a point. There you go. Not that we would, but I'm saying like, I, like, I get what you're saying. I almost bought the Dior one, but the Dior one was like lipstick and shit. I'm like, do you know my actual biggest pet peeve about you right now? So you were just talking how we used to, I don't know. I actually don't know if we're leaving that in, but whatever. We were just talking about how we used to love the house that we lived in, in Hollywood. Great house, super secure, super awesome.

It's a known fact that I like hate where I live. We like we all don't really love it. The house itself is great, but I've been over there three times. Like the neighborhood is just really, really bad. The neighbors, everything, very sketchy, homeless people like in the lawn. And then on top of that, the house is just very haunted. But Ari decided to download the citizen app.

And it's an amazing app. Like, I love it. I love it. But every two seconds we get a thing that's like armed robbery, home invasion, 700 feet away. Yeah. Like whole thing. Like might as well be in our lawn, like shooting 500 feet away. Like something like that. Every single day. So yesterday, yeah.

bought all these fucking signs on Amazon that say smiley or on camera to blast her all over the entire house. And I bought this light that like detects 10 feet of motion. So if somebody comes 10 feet from our house, a light will turn on and they'll run. It's going to be you who's traumatized when every single little rat, raccoon, like gust of air like goes by the camera. I've been barricading my door for the past week. No, he's been. I feel you. I just had a home break and I literally like

We talked about it on the last episode. I said that I've never been scared to live in a place and now I feel traumatized and it's so scary. I completely get it. Living where you live and feeling scared is the worst feeling, 100% for a fact. It's just like...

It's funny. I got yelled at. She goes, she goes, oh, because I won't go on like a couple of streets. Like I just won't go on any streets. I like a lot of shit around. She goes, oh, so you're going to fucking have this new thing that you can't go anywhere. I'm like, I care about my life. No, but Ari's new thing, too, is every time he gets a citizen notification, he doesn't like he books a flight home. I have a flight in four days. He keeps booking.

He flights home to Vegas every time he gets a citizen notification of something that scares him. Babe, I live 34 floors up with nine security entrances to get to my door. What are you going to do? Just hide in it? Like you live in Los Angeles. Hey, you're right. Speaking of Bryce, you wanted to clear the air, Ari. I would like to give you the floor.

Yeah, he's still hot. He's still whatever. I still want to bang him. Talk to me about kissing Bryce. Kissing Bryce. Perfect. I'm so glad I'm here to fucking say this. This was Ari's, like, I think your most viral moment, like, Daily Mail. Yeah, it was very viral. I mean, I personally did not know all, like, there was that many fucking people. There was that many characters. But Bryce came on here and told the fib.

Bryce fully told the fib. Imagine me. Like, I know Bryce well. Like, we're friends. Like, I feel like I could go, like, I would go up to him and, like, fucking fuck around with him and say a joke. But imagine me walking out of a club being, like, just miserable, going up to Bryce and being like, oh, you kissed her. Why won't you kiss me? No, that didn't happen, Bryce. And I can't wait to talk about this the next time I see you.

That didn't happen. I walked out of the club to talk to Frankie Delgado with Tana. And Bryce was there. And he was just like, he was kissing some, I think it was a guy. And he looks at me. Or no, I said hi to him first. And the way I say hi to people, I literally give them a European kiss. One, two. And that was in the first part of the video, if you were watching it. The second part of the video, he goes, oh, you won't kiss me for real? Because I kissed him on his cheeks. I believe that. And then I was like, duh, duh.

And then that's when that happened. And man's had the audacity to come on this podcast and say, I asked him to kiss him after he kissed the woman. Yeah, so basically, Bryce, you're a fucking bold-faced liar. I'm literally so loved. Not one person in the world hates me. And you kissed her. And you kissed me. And he kissed me, too.

Oh, yeah, we're all out here. He kissed me. He kissed me. He loves to call me for the streets, too. I'm like, look at this. Oh, no, I'm just Bryce today as a make a wish. He was literally like this girl. Come on. I'll give her something. Honestly, you're gonna make a wish for me. Honestly, he did. That's what he did. My one wish is that I could undo. I'm not kidding. I was standing outside the bathroom. It was at Friendsgiving. You kissed Bryce at Friendsgiving? What the fuck?

I wasn't going to say anything because I saved it for the podcast. But it was like very... Yes. You kissed my man at Thanksgiving, bitch. Wasn't my man, whatever.

hey i didn't first of all i didn't kiss him hey i'm standing outside the bathroom the bryce i love you i'm sorry for his ass out i feel no sympathy he did it as a full make-away like i know he was just like it was like a like a giving a kid about like or giving kid candy or something i he literally came out of the bathroom and i was standing i didn't know he was in there i'm banging on the door i'm like holy shit i'm gonna piss my pants like who is in there bryce comes out and he literally just grabs my face goes i stood there like

We like a little wet. No. No, he's getting really hot. He's so hot. I don't know. I think it's just like because I love white men, but like I don't know what to do. But I was like, no one's going to believe me. So I'm just going to keep this to myself. But he knows it happened. You kissed him like seven days ago, eight days ago, nine days ago. It was recently. But Bryce, I'm like.

Come on. Honestly, hope you get tagged in this. Fuck you. Liar fuck. Oh my God. Speaking of men that I've gotten with also getting with you. What? Wait, wait. That's never happened because I'm never going to be Mindy. Chris Miles peed on you in Hawaii. Chris Miles...

on me because I got attacked by a jellyfish and he was the only kind soul there to piss. No, no. Oh, no, no, no. He didn't pee on me, bitch. He pissed in a cup and Brooke poured the cup on my ass. But don't you kind of think that's getting people? But to be clear, he did not get stung by a jellyfish. He got bit by a sea lion. So do you think that

Is that what it was? You have had lice. I don't have fucking lice, bitch. You wish. So don't you think that you kind of just wanted Chris to pee on you? I think that'd be the last thing I'd ever want to pee on me. I'd rather you piss in my mouth. I don't think you should be ashamed of it. You'd rather me piss in your mouth than Chris Miles pee on you? Behind me, like dick out peeing on me? Probably. Be real. Who would you let pee on you? You or her? No, like generally. You would name one guy besides Michael Yorger who you would let pee on you.

Probably one of like my friend's dad that was a billionaire that I went to high school with. Why does it have to be someone's dad? What? Because he's the hottest person I've ever seen and I can think of him right now. Okay.

Tana you. And if she listens to this she'll know it's her dad because he's so hot. I'm not going to lie to you like it's me. Like there's like 20 people I'd let pee on me. Have you ever let someone pee on you? No. Me neither. You let someone pee on you? We just talked about this. You let someone pee on you? Please let. You did. You let someone pee on you? That was like a joke.

- That was like a joke. - Brooke, tell me story now! Now! - No, it's not a story. It's literally not a story. - Just say who was. - Joe. - Duh, who else? - You let... - Kyla screamed. Kyla just screamed her head off. - I don't think she's screaming at that. - No, she's fucking screaming at that. Were you in a bed?

Was the shower like on you to the point that it was like an instant Yeah, it was a joke Were you on your knees or were you standing? No, it was a I love him Was it on your pussy or was it on like your leg? Watches this podcast

this podcast. He peed on her pussy. He peed on her pussy. He peed on her pussy. Thank you for coming to get me. I think it's worse if he pees in her mouth. Like, did he pee in your mouth? I would let him pee in my mouth. I would let Lil Nas X pee on me. No one who's not my boyfriend is peeing in my mouth. Except for Lil Nas. I'm like jealous you're listening. If he told you today that he would date you, if you would let him pee in your mouth outside of a shower, I'm talking like just on the fucking floor, would you do it? Would you do it today though? I don't think I should answer that question. Oh, honey. I'm just kidding.

I'm so lost. If anyone here is a therapist. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I need you to, bitch. I'm so... I'm hurting. You've been over that one. No, I definitely would let a lot of people... No, it was like a joke. We were in the shower. Who'd you let pee on you, Jenna? Pete on me. I don't think it was a joke. I have a list of like 20 fucking people. So who's the first person that you would let pee on you besides Pete Davidson? Mine's Pete too. My next answer is so pathetic. It's going to be... Oh, that was mine. Speaking of... Speaking of...

The hottest rapper, hottest white rapper in the game. My sis right here, Tana Mongeau, you know it's very down bad right now. She loves, let me see the text. Let me see. I'm going to throw up. Oh no, it's those. She loves to not answer.

We're friends. We sat on next to each other in a first-class flight one time. Really fucking insane. Five-hour flight. Almost killed myself. Whatever. My sis, look at her. Look at her. Pan. Pan. Zoom. Down bad. My sis- Wait, let me see. I'm like, share. Contact. I'm just kidding. Wait, let me see. What is the message? You're kidding. What's the message? I want to send this to myself so bad, but I'm not a bad friend. Give me the phone. That's not real. Can I have it? I'm really fucking scared. I just- I don't think I've ever seen this. You're so re-

Oh, I saw this. I'll fucking bum that. No, I'm down atrocious. You're so down atrocious. You're so down. No, I'm not. You can't. I'm just joking. Everybody. She's not joking. The best people in the world get at me. I will say that. And like, I am a self-sabotaging fucking imbecile. I'm like, baby, go back. I'm like, it's me. No, honestly, like.

- You know when I went brunette, I was like, you know what likes brunettes. - Lil Wayne is where I knew that I'm fucking everything up because it's like, that was my crush for a decade and I fully had the opportunity to sleep with him, fly across the country and see him, hang out with him. We were like FaceTiming like whole thing. And I fully was like down and I was single. This is right when me and Chris broke up. I'm down atrocious. I like, I self sabotage, like the best, best men get at me and I just don't do it. - Is it because you're nervous?

I'm not... With Lil Wayne, I'm not nervous. It's more so that like once... Let's say once I fuck Lil Wayne...

The entire 20-year-long obsession is over and I have nothing to live for? There's also a lot of rumors about him that scare me. I just talked about this with Hunter the other day. I feel this way about very few people in this world, but I have certain people that I idolize to a point where they're not human anymore. And I feel that way about Billie Eilish. I feel that way about Miley Cyrus. And I felt that way about this male artist that I was obsessed with. Yeah. And I obviously ruined it for myself. Who?

Right. And like, I feel like sometimes, like for me, we talked about this kind of in the beginning of the podcast, but I love to be a fan. Like it makes me happy. It's like it reminds me of being young where celebrities are actually like mystical to you. Yeah, exactly. And I feel that way very like seldom now because obviously we run into that all the time.

Well, that's the thing with Lil Wayne. Like, imagine, like, he's my favorite artist of all time. That's the thing. I don't want... It doesn't matter. Like, even if you would be the best friend ever, I don't want to humanize you. Like, I know every lyric to every single one of your songs. Imagine I could never listen to them again. Like, that would hurt me. And that's how it would probably end. So I definitely, like...

I don't know. And it's also like I'm so in love with that man that I just would never even want to diminish myself to like a hoe that's flying out to fuck him. Like, it's like I either want to be the love of your life or I would rather continue to idolize you. When it comes to... I'm just... When it comes to... I am genuine. I am like a little... You're a little pussy ass fucking bitch. Pussy ass bitch. Bruh, when I tell you I've never seen someone so beautiful in my life, I was sitting left...

right as we are, I was sitting right next to him in a first class flight from Atlanta to LA and I've never been more mesmerized as a, as a, as a human being. Bro, literally took off. He's my dream, man. Like, that's like exactly my type. Like, white, just white man, curly hair, little scrub. He literally opened a book and that's when I go, wow, I almost just threw up. I was like,

Because Ari loves reading. No, what was that interview? Everyone shut up. You know the interview. Like, the interview with the blonde girl who she's in, like, a chicken shop. Yes. First of all, she has my dream job. So if you're watching this and you...

can set me up with a chicken trying job. She loves restaurants. That's what I want. But like that interview alone, like the way it makes you feel like uncomfortable in the best way. I was literally like that. This is the best thing I've ever done. I've watched it literally. He was so hot about it too, because it's like the interview is set up to make you look cringy and corny. And he was just so smooth.

through it. But she is a performer. That girl, she's just like the cutest. What is it? I've never seen it. It's this British girl and she makes you kind of feel awkward. She asks you uncomfortable questions and it's supposed to have awkward silences and like **** on it. You've definitely seen it on TV. But she's flirting with him and he's flirting back with her and they're making eyes and the whole time I'm like, I would do anything for this woman's job. Yeah, my **** thing's up. I was supposed to be in a group call with a bunch of rappers but it was like ****.

I looked at it the other day. Why are you even saying that to me right now? I'm like, how does it feel to live my dreams?

She's one of my favorite artists. I keep not doing it. I keep not doing it. I hate when you do that. I bet you do. Because it lets like, it's just so fucking imbecile-like. Like you're a fucking imbecile when you show that. I feel that way about her all the time, I remember. I feel that way about her all the time. No, I do. I vividly remember one time we were on a drive or we were all going to like a boat trip. This was even, like this was probably a year or two ago. And literally I remember she got a call from her manager at the time and he's like, it's

for a story. Like, come on, you just have to read these points. And she looked over him for two seconds because she goes, that's too much. Sorry. I go, like, no one has ever said I make good decisions, including myself. I know I don't. My life could be so much better if someone else was in control of it. But

It makes me, I go, Tana, I'll read the points. Like, come on. It makes me like really upset because it's like, I'm starting to think I need a conservator. I've said it every day for the past six months now and nobody's going to say that. She needs a conservator. I don't care what anyone says. It'd be so good for her. I don't think it'd be bad. You know, all conservators aren't like Britney Spears. Like, she just needs someone to fucking be her. The only person, the only person qualified to be her conservator is Kyla. And she's not

And I'm not going to let her do it. And poor thing, her whole life would be just ruined. She's like. More than it already is. I know. Sorry. Okay. I mean, I guess I'll figure it out. I'll start responding to some A-listers. Or just like respond to your text messages.

Like, I live next, I live 40 feet away from her. Maybe less. And I can't even get her to fucking answer. I texted her 911 the other day. She responded three days later. I'm not even kidding. 911. But God forbid we don't answer one of her nine phone calls. And she'll be like, it's important. It's so fucking important. So important. She'll be like, what color did you get in? I'm like. I don't know. But I'll literally, like, I'll be hit by a car and I'll be like, oh my God, like, you're the only number I know by heart. And she'll be like.

Or the other day. Ready for this? It's not because I don't care. It's because I'm a fucking idiot. And I hate to blame things on ADHD because I've been doing that for the past three podcasts. Even though people find it relatable. Thank you. I love the community. I love the community. But like genuinely, like, like I'll just like I'm so depressed. I have no desire. And then one day I'll wake up and respond to everyone ever. And it's so bad. And I've always been that way. And it's horrible. And I'm sorry.

For your 911. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

She almost makes things more inconvenient, but in her head, nothing can convince her that that was not the right answer. No, that's what I mean. Self-sabotaging, and I need a conservator. It's horrible. If you could pick a conservator, who would you pick? That can't be Kyla or Paige. It can't be Kyla.

Oh, baby, you're Britney now. Oh, yeah. Imagine. What'd you think? He's going to be sitting there bottle feeding you? Shit. He's going to lock your bitch ass up. He's like, sorry, but I'm with Jaden and Kelsey. Sorry. No, actually, I guess Amari. I guess Amari. Okay. I was waiting for that answer. Yeah. Or like Debbie. Yeah. No. Debbie's a good one. Debbie actually, it's actually ironic that we're talking about this because the other day Debbie was like, I feel like I should be your conservator because I'm the only person who guaranteed would never, ever take your money. And I was like, oh. Correct.

So I actually, I really have to go and get a full mouth of veneers. And I'm really sad because last time I looked like Cindy Lou Who, like just like that gif of me. It's the most viral video of me ever where I sit up in bed and my face. That was me after veneering. It's my favorite photo on the internet. I'll insert it into the podcast, but it's like, it's the worst I've ever, ever, ever looked. And I think I'm about to look like that again. And I'm so sad about it.

Also, yesterday verbatim, I go, you don't need a license. She goes, worry about yourself. That's my new thing. No, my new thing is worry about yourself. And my second thing is I do everything. Like whenever someone comes to me like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, I do everything. That's my new thing. It's my favorite thing right now.

No, no, no. What's worse is the don't worry or don't worry about what is it again? Worry about yourself. It's the worst thing because it's like, oh, we want to worry about ourselves, babe, but we can't. We can't even sleep. I can't sleep. I wait. I'm up all night. You can't sleep, babe. I'm just imagining every I'm dreaming of fucking the pounding on my fucking door and the knocking down on my door. My bear can't even take it off. Dude, the other day Hunter was blacked out and we like tried to break into Ari's room. Not only was the door locked, but he put like five

Five boxes like filled with clothes and like suitcases in front of the door barricaded. He says it's for the break-ins that he's afraid of, but I know it's for Hunter and I. No, I have a lock on my door. You simply couldn't get in if I just locked it. It's for the break-ins. Well, I mean, after William fucking with you in your suitcase, I think you're just like done for. I forgot about that. That was your first encounter with my stalker. I don't think it was a stalker. I think it was a ghost. I think it was her and she forgot. I think it was her.

Hate to say that people know people really call me out for that in the comments the big you can tell Brooke doesn't believe in and I don't mean it to be that way situations will be like I'll be like Tana I won the lottery and then the next week she'll be like, how do you have all this money like? You don't have to mention babe you have something no I have just like brain fried but she's like there's

There's no way the showerhead could have switched itself. No. It's like, babe, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Tell me. I dare you. She's like. So I got back from Miami for my sister's wedding. I'm thankful for the believers. Stay with me. And when I got home, I did not empty my suitcase. I didn't do that. I know I didn't because I was riding dick. Right. Okay. So I had a suitcase. It was on a box of clothes. I haven't emptied these blocks of clothes since we moved in because supposedly we're moving out.

So I have these boxes of clothes and my suitcase is on it and then I wake up the next morning and the suitcase is on the floor all spread out. All spread out. I would never do that at 3 a.m. when I'm literally getting my chin, my guts turned around. I know if I needed something from your closet, I would open a suitcase. I'm just saying, my guts were inside out of my pussy. There was not a point of me that could have ever even remotely been. Sounds like hemorrhoids. Sounds like an inside out asshole if you ask me.

Ew, can your asshole actually go inside out? Yeah, that's what hemorrhoids are, right? No, hemorrhoids are like the little bumpies. No, it's when they're like, oh, I thought it's when it comes out a little bit. No, no. It's when it comes inside out. Yes, it is. Sound off in the comments. I went to nursing school. I'm a faggot. Oh, yeah, he wins. You know what, Ari? It has been an absolute pleasure having you on this podcast. I think...

You are an angel. You're an icon living. I'm so sorry, Brooke, and I wanted to fuck you when we first met you. You're my brother forever. Wait, why wouldn't you? Like, let's be real. Right. This has been another very hectic episode of Canceled. I'm super high. I need new teeth. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I hope you enjoyed this episode.

Sorry, it was hectic. We don't know what we're talking about. I'm seriously missing a tooth. Like, I came here today just well aware of the fact that, like, my awl isn't even... I broke it on an Olive Garden breadstick. Like, my awl was left with that breadstick. So, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Thank you for coming to this episode of Cancelled. We are auditioning co-hosts. I love you so much, Ari, Laila. Thank you for having me, sexy. Ari and Laila are our first pledges. You really performed. I performed. I think I'd be the best co-host. If y'all want me to be the co-host, you know...

The bottom. Thank you so much for watching this episode. It was so good to see you guys. We miss you. Tanimoja is cancelled. A DWE Talent Production. Buenos dias world from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.