Episode 14: Jeff Wittek Only Kissed Me Because He's Blind
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And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Canceled Don't remember doing this at all I can only hold myself accountable Canceled I AM JACK! Look how good my life is! So what else? Canceled Tanimoja is cancelled

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Cancelled Podcast. Did you like my voice just completely changing? It's great. You sound sick. 365 days a year. Yeah, I know. It's probably from the copious amounts of things I smoke. Jeff just looked me dead in the face and said, are you going to fucking smoke that USB stick the entire podcast? Hey, it's your body. Do what you want with it. He doesn't mean that. I'm saying for audio listeners, she is ripping a USB stick. He doesn't mean that. He's coming off humble, but he's definitely judging me every fucking second. I just want you to live.

as long as possible and get the most out of life. To like 35 maybe? Out of eight years to what I think? That you're ripping that thing, 35 would be, you'd be lucky. Oh my God, this man, this man. You've had a life though, Jeff Wittek. So hold on, we're going to get into that today. I don't want to start off too dark. You don't want to start off too dark? Well guys, let's get into my dark past. Welcome my guest today. He is the host of The Barbershop. He is partially blind. Jeff FM. Illegally blind. Yeah.

And he just dropped an amazing haircare line that I've totally fucking tried a lot. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Thank you so much. I love it. You guys, I actually wanted to clarify that. It's the only reason I'm here on the show today is to promote my hair product line. There was a lot of confusion.

You guys were curious if it works for women. It does. It does. Perfect example, right? No, I use it. Women are allowed to buy it. And if you're a woman and you buy it and you don't know what to do with it, resell it. Sell it on eBay. Yeah, Depop, anything. I use it every single day. Every day. I use it as deodorant, pussy spray, air freshener, whole fucking thing. Hey, I don't care what you do with it as long as you're buying it because I'm all about this, baby. And having a good quality product line. Yeah, the last part didn't seem too interesting.

I'm all about making the world a better place. So this is the first episode that I'm doing without a co-host, but I thought it'd be better because I want to build up, you know, the awkward tension. I decided to have you on my podcast after we made out. Okay. We made out on camera. Yeah, totally just on camera. It was acting. Yeah. But we had a little fun. Yeah.

And then I got sick mysteriously after. Completely faked COVID. It was not COVID. Are you calling me a super spreader? It was. That's exactly what I'm doing. Yeah. Sorry. Do you want to cut that out? We cut to commercial if you want to cut out. No, I really want to. I think that I'm excited to have you as a guest today because you're really good at being extremely offensive. And I live for that. So I'm excited to hear what comes out of your mouth. You know what? That means a lot to me. Yeah. I really appreciate that. And I'm happy to be here because you are actually really funny. And I mean that.

Jeff. Yeah, you make me laugh a lot when you text me wild shit at night. Are you flirting with me? No, I'm not. Convincing. I'm just. I just want him to be. You know what I mean? You know, you're really funny. You photo. What did you do the other day? You photoshopped yourself on to Charles Manson and me on to Sharon Tate. That was a fan edit. That was a fan edit. You were the fan. Yeah. Which is insinuating that you're going to kill me one of these days.

No, I'm not trying to kill you. I'm actually trying to become your new podcast co-host. Oh, are you now? Yeah. So that means no sex, no murder in each other because we need this to live on. You're fucking fired. That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me.

- Oh, no sex? - Yeah. - Is that what you thought you were doing today? I was coming here to have sex? - No, not at all, not at all. Completely not at all. Moving on. No, I'm just kidding. What would you do? Fuck me in the podcast studio? - They don't even blink an eye when you say things like that. That's so funny. Your whole crew, they're all just on their phone texting you, just like, "Yeah, bro, you're here to fuck you on my podcast show."

They know it's not true. I mean, I wouldn't allow you to rail me in the podcast studio. Okay. At home, though. Goddamn, I'm sweating already. Shit, are you? I know, I'm kind of sweating, too. You make me a little nervous. We need Brooke.

I honest to God really do need Brooke here today to buffer this. But I mean, before I continue to relentlessly awkwardly flirt with you, I have so many things to ask you about today. I've actually refrained from asking you a lot recently when we've been talking because there's so much I want to know about your life. And I want to grill you on this podcast today. Okay, I'm an open book. I got nothing to hide. Have you ever killed someone?

You know what's funny? I played a game with my ex and... It was just Russian roulette. No, it was like you could ask, what's the game where it's like hot seat or something? You can ask me anything and I'll ask you anything. And I was like, obviously, like, what's the longest relationship you've ever been in or something like that? Yeah. And she answered it. And then I was like, okay, you go. And she was like, have you ever killed anybody? I was like, what? We've been dating for like six months, you know? Damn. I guess I have a lot in common with her. I need to stop. You've never killed someone? No.

Oh shit, I forgot that I didn't answer that. No, I have not killed anybody. Intentionally. I haven't killed anybody. Let's clear that up. I'm just messing around here. I think your life before the internet is really a fucking interesting thing though because it's like most people are cookie cutter and you know what I mean? They do whatever the fuck they do before social media, but you lived a life. Yeah, I got a lot. You made an amazing documentary about it. Oh, thank you. It's so nice that you watch my videos.

I really appreciate that. You make good videos. You kill it. You know, you're a good editor. That whole thing was a moment because you kind of took a break from the internet and then came back with that. Yeah, I had to take some time off. I was mentally ill. I mean, I am mentally ill, but I was just extremely mentally ill and depressed at that time because I had suffered an accident that came out of nowhere. Yeah. Freak accident. And then I had to recover. Yeah.

and get my life back together so i didn't want to just stick a camera in my face but in that documentary it was really interesting to me because i feel like my life before the internet was definitely very wild i did a lot of shit you know what i mean like seeing you you sold drugs you did a lot of crazy shit you were like yeah you were wild yeah i saw a little weed um did you only ever sell traditional uh like background as a normal social media or entertainer person whatever um

Yeah, I came out here to initially, it was always in the back of my mind that I wanted to do something in the entertainment business. Yeah. Maybe gangster movies or acting or something like that. Yeah, yeah. You're like slanging dope fully like one day I'm going to be an actor? I mean, I watch movies like Blow and stuff like that and I'm like this, I can relate to this a lot. But also, I kind of felt like I was living in a movie at these times. Yeah. It's very weird. But yeah, like obviously those are movies in my life. It was real. Yeah. The consequences for what I did were real. Yeah.

the transitioning process just took a little bit longer you just said consequences and i completely forgot that you spent a great amount of time in prison no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

More freedom. A little bit more freedom. Yeah. Because you're there for so long and you're with guys that are going to be there for a long time. In jail, it's just a madhouse because it's all people fighting cases. Some people are fighting murder cases. Some people are in there for weed. Yeah. So, yeah, it's nuts. There's a lot of politics, a lot of...

What was jail like? A lot of violence. Did you ever get in any fights in jail? Yeah, yeah. What were they like? You kind of have to if you're there for a long period of time. But it's very political here in L.A., so...

you'd be fine. You'd make friends with people. You think so? I feel like my plan for jail, just like the internet has always, my thought if I ever go to jail, not that I've thought about it a lot or anything, would be to just find the biggest bitch and start fucking her. You know what I mean? Fucking her? Yeah, because I feel like it's like then you have your, I'm her little bitch and she'd protect me. That would definitely be my game plan in jail. But as a guy, I can't imagine what

Sounds like an episode of Orange is the New Black. I know. I've never seen that, actually. I should probably watch that. Everyone always tells me that. You'd probably like it. Yeah. A lot of lesbian sex and jail vibes. I probably would like it, you know? Are you bisexual? Yeah. Okay. Are you? No, no, no. Do you ever do any butt stuff in jail? No, no, no. No, no, no. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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with 25% off at virtual.com slash podcast. Did anyone ever try you? You're pretty. I never thought about that. I was like some big dude. The second I got in, I shaved my head so I had no pretty hair. I cut all my hair off and I was the barber in the dorm so I made a lot of friends that way. Really? And I was pretty much safe because of my talents. You never had anyone trying to be your daddy in jail? No, no. Fortunately, no. I didn't have to get into any of that stuff. Did you have a cellmate? No.

I was in a dorm, so it was open population. You'd be sleeping and you'd turn to the left and you'd see some guy sleeping next to you snoring and you'd turn to the other side and it's another guy. - Damn, did you ever, like was there ever a moment in jail you feared for your life or stories that like stand out?

There was one situation that will always stay with me. You know when a fight happens? Yeah. It's so interesting, right? Yeah. Like we all watch this YouTuber boxing stuff. Everybody wants to see people fight. Because I'm sure the fights in jail are just like Bryce Hall and Austin McBrew. Yeah, exactly. Exactly the same. But in jail, you don't have much entertainment. Yeah. And then when a fight breaks out,

You want to look at it right away. And that's like your entertainment. You're like, oh shit, I get to watch a live fight. But if you get caught watching a fight, then you get a strike and then you're getting beat up next. But it just, it sucks because that's like, it's so hard to not look because you know the rules, you know that you're not supposed to look at it, but it's happening. And then you're like 10 seconds in and the guy taps. He was like, yep.

You got caught. Like you get a strike from the guards. No, from the inmates, from the gangs. No, no, no. Wait, that's so crazy. Like you're, oh my God, that's actually insane. So you got caught. You get a strike if you don't make your bed. What? You get a strike if you don't, from the other inmates. And your breath stinks. You get a strike for that. You'll get beat up for that.

- So there's like a hierarchy in the sense that they're like inmates that kind of control what the rules are. What do the guards do? Just like twiddle their thumbs? - They're not even in there. The guards are outside and the dorm is just all the inmates and then the guards will come in once in a while. - So there's just some big dude. - And that's nice 'cause it's all guys that smell like shit and then you get a woman to come in and just her perfume is like, oh, thank God. - Everyone nuts immediately. - Yeah, they go nuts. - Damn, so you looked at a fight though? - I looked at a fight, I got a strike for that, but that was the only strike I got. Everything else was cool. The other strike is like if you don't work out, you get a strike.

And that I love. I was all about working out. I was like, give me a strike. I'll fucking do the extra pushups. Damn. Do you feel like, I think it's so dope that loving that. I think it's so dope that you came from jail though. And you just started like doing this shit. Cause I think that it's like, it's a, there's a huge, I come from jail. I haven't been to jail in like eight years. Everybody puts these jail story or maybe seven years, six years. Yeah. 24 is my last arrest. That's a little bit of David's fault, right?

for branding not fault but i mean like for branding you slightly it wasn't around when i get it right but yeah putting it out there publicly i like inmate jeff you know jail jeff eventually it would have came out yeah you know because mug shots are public and your records are public so it became like a part of your brand in a way but i like it i think it's cool yeah and i was only arrested for weed by the way i know she started off with have you ever killed anybody it was no violent crime i never hurt anybody i was arrested for selling weed i know your audience what would you say your demographic is

I'd say probably like 14 to like 24. 14-year-olds listen to this? And you started off all about fucking in jail and all that stuff? Well, I warned them not to. I'm not their parents. I started trying to do the whole role model shit and I quickly learned that would just be a slippery slope. Yeah, just be you. You know what I mean? That's on your parents for sure. Just keep it real. And yeah, I do owe a little credit to David for getting that out because...

I was like, I'm not fucking put my mug shut out. We rely on brand deals and sponsors to endorse us for a career to make a living in this field. But I think it made you more famous, which like, you know what I mean? It made you more of a brand, more of like a household name and shit like that. It definitely allowed me to talk more freely and just be open, be myself on things because I wouldn't be able to do podcasts because that's usually what people go to.

How was jail? How was, you know, your background? And what would I talk about? I'd come on here and we'd talk about Squid Game or something. Yeah, like, so you're pretty. You know what I mean? I think that's cool, you in comparison. Like, obviously, I love Toddy and he has so much going for him. But in David's vlogs, you kind of came in as the new, like, hot one, but with a little pizzazz, with a little spunk, you know? Yeah. I was Toddy over jealous. Yeah.

- I'm mad. - Todd told me one time he was jealous. He was jealous of me swinging on the crane too, which was nuts that he said that. He was like, "I saw you doing that." And I was like, "I wish that was me." I'm like, "Bro, what are you saying?" - I'm mad. Your eyes like hanging out of the socket in your face and he's like, "I wish that was me." - No, he said before I had the accident. So he was like watching me do that. 'Cause before I got on, Todd was wake boarding around the thing and he was killing it. This is like,

I'm talking about the stunt that went wrong, guys, if you don't know what I'm talking about right now. I know, I want to get into that. It was a wakeboarding stunt where Todd was swinging around and then when we took the wakeboard off to switch it, there was like a loop in it and then we just decided to fuck around with that. And yeah, that's when Todd was like, I was actually jealous because it looks sick what you're doing. Well, now he probably isn't so jealous, you know? You're definitely all insane. That's definitely true. So, I mean...

straight from the prison yard getting strikes to recording vines. Recording vines, yeah. I remember I was at the pool in 1600 Vine. I moved there for my little side business at the time. Oh, you moved, that's crazy. Not from prison to 1600 Vine. Jail, jail, sorry, jail. Yeah, I was in jail one time for a month when I had the apartment there and I had my, I had a cameraman. It's so weird back then. I was like,

selling weed and I was I had a clothing line I was trying out different things trying to see where my life was gonna go yeah kind of where you fit in in LA too yeah because I don't want to sell weed or grow weed forever because it's it's tough it's a stressful job and you know you have to worry about it 24-7 yeah so I was always looking for an exit strategy and I just happened to bump into Rudy Mancuso at the pool and he was like you want to be in a vine

Damn, that's really how that happened. Yeah, that is wild too. You're like trapping drugs neighbors with like Amanda Cerny and like fucking Rudy Mancuso. That's a funny- King Bach on a hoverboard. Oh yeah, full hoverboard moment. You must have thought in your head a little bit though, like this is lame kind of compared to your life. Or were you like, I want to do this? No, I was like, this is great. You can make money. How much are you getting paid from Verizon to do this six second video? Oh, I guess that's so true.

Yeah. Vine was such a cool era. It was like ridiculous. And then how did that, so then like David, how did like, he came out here and you guys, is that like what happened basically? No, no, no. So that came much later actually in the documentary. I kind of blended it together quick because we were just trying to save time. I don't want to lose people in the first episode. Uh,

So when David, when I met David, that was much later. I had already moved out of 1600 Vine and I was already doing social media for a living kind of, but not anywhere near the level those guys were at. We had the same manager, which is like a little weird thing that tied us together. Yeah.

No, actually, I started doing the barbershop and I did the Taylor Holder episode where I convinced him to call you and confess his love to you. Oh, my God. I'll never forget that. I forgot about that. Oh, my God. It's crazy. That was before I knew you, I think. So I hadn't I hadn't even known. I'm already fucking with my head before.

I feel so bad for that. I should actually take this moment to apologize to Tana for fucking with your emotions back then. No, Taylor took that and ran with it. I think it almost like it helped us be closer. He was the first one to get clout off of you. You think he was the very first one? Probably. Yeah. I think I instigated it a little bit. I don't I mean, all those because I was kind of friends with Taylor and Bryce before their like big blow up. So it was all like that era. Yeah. I just saw something so special in that. Yeah. Yeah.

They're good kids. I like Taylor and Bryce a lot. I love them to death, actually. And they've been great friends for a long time. That's funny, though. I didn't know that. Were you barbershopping before, David? I was trying to figure out what to do with my YouTube channel because I saw everybody trying to do skits. And there was a while where they were making like...

Key and Peele type sketches. Yeah. Just random sketches every week. I'm so glad I never did that. Yeah. It just seemed like a lot for these people doing six second videos. Yeah. It just got cringy because you don't have writers. Comedy Central has a team of writers that are coming up with sketches for people. And now you have these random YouTube creators. Not even YouTubers yet. They've never directed a production ever. You want to give them a deadline for a comedy sketch every week that millions of people are going to watch. And then it just became the relatability. It wasn't even comedy. It was just like, I make great movies. And then Leila Pons is getting roasted for her comedy sketches when she's

18 years old trying to write comedy sketches and produce them every week. It was tough. And the bitch was balling. I don't think she gave a fuck what anybody had to say. I like that about Lele. In real life, she doesn't really give a fuck. No, she doesn't care at all. She's dope. So I was like, what do I have here? I'm cutting people's hair. People are asking me for haircuts.

and I need to figure out a new style of videos to make every week. And I like fucking with people. I enjoy it. And I like cutting people's hair. And they're always on edge. When I give a person a haircut for the first time, they're always like, is he going to fuck my hair up? No, it's crazy that people sit down in your fucking chair and just give you their hair. I don't think I could ever. I don't know why they do it. You're a little too sadistic, I think, to allow you to cut my hair. But I give good haircuts at the end of the day. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what the f*** are you talking about, you insane Hollywood a**hole?

So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes. Have you ever fucked up someone's hair without telling them no for a sketch?

No, never. I would never do that. I would never actually fuck somebody's hair up on purpose. If somebody wanted like a stupid haircut where they like shave the top and leave the sides, I'll do it for a laugh. Yeah, but you wouldn't actually do it. No, I would never intentionally fuck somebody's hair. So then when did the vlogs come in? So that video that I did with Taylor, I think Alex Ernst found it and they have like a vlog squad group chat and they were like, is this real or not? Yeah. Something I think Todd found it and he hit me up.

And he asked me about it. And then we just started talking. And I just started hanging out, shooting videos with those guys. It's interesting because they were friends all for a very long time. And it was almost kind of portrayed, even as you kind of came in, that you were as well. But like on the back end, you were kind of entering a new group of people. But it was perfect because I had just gotten out of a relationship at the time. And I met all these guys that were kind of

They kind of had the same sense of humor as me. We got along great. And they all just loved shooting together. There was no contracts. There was no Team 10 type deal where you have to sign your life away to shoot with them. Yeah. Yeah. But it was nice. And, you know, it worked out great. And obviously, as to how David vlogs, he kind of just like eases you into it. But then eventually, you know, like obviously people, there was a great response with you. You brought the like,

different vibe. Your life was very different before, you know, the relatability, the new hot guy, all that type of shit. Yeah. Were there ever moments where you were like, fuck this? No, because I just saw it as an opportunity to get him back. I was never upset about stuff like that. I feel like people always wonder that because obviously during the whole like scandal and shit that that was like the big narrative, you know, like it's always been too far. Like he like, you know, whatever. But I feel like he attracted a group of people that

enjoy it you know what i mean yeah it's a fun environment yeah yeah everybody you know nobody's holding the gun to our head saying do this shit you know it's do you still want to

Have you filmed with David? Yeah, I mean, I obviously wouldn't swing around a crane and put my life in his hands again, but I still film with him. I'm still friends with him. How is that now? Are there people? People give me shit and they're like, what are you doing being friends with him? What do you want me to do? You know? Like, hate him forever and plan revenge? I think it's like...

comes into play there. You know what I mean? Like, it's like you would hate him forever if his intention was to do that to you, but like it wasn't. And you have an eye. You're chilling. Like people don't realize that if David would have killed me,

He would have went to jail. David doesn't want to go to jail. He would have been deported or whatever the fuck would have happened, you know, and I'd be dead. Yeah. So that would obviously be really bad. Did that ever go through your head? Doing bits like I could die doing this? No, because I was never really a stunt guy. Yeah. I kind of just laughed at everybody else and I was like, this shit's dumb. Maybe you should have left that to the other. I know. I know. But we were all in a weird place. Sometimes we all go a little nuts, you know? No, 100%. I'm just joking with you. I'm just joking with you. And I kind of loved having like a,

like a group of friends and like a team to shoot with. - Yeah. - Because we just were like a powerhouse. And when David suggested like this big video back, we were all so excited to do it. 'Cause we all just love working together and helping each other out. Like Jason, like fucking that guy will,

- Bend over backwards. - Yeah, for your video. If I asked him to come on the podcast and get completely naked and shave his head bald and his eyebrows, he would probably do it. - That's a Wednesday for Jason, for sure. Oh, another really interesting part of your career that intrigues me so much is reality television. - Oh my God. - Bad Girls Club. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should have known you were gonna go here.

Talk to me about that experience. Didn't you like spit on someone? I got spit on first. Oh. And to be honest, I don't give a fuck about that. No, that's hot. I'm jealous of her. That's...

How long did you do reality television for? I moved to Miami and I was barber on South Beach and there was a bunch of reality shows being shot there at once. Yeah. They were shooting the Kardashian show next door, Dash. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And the Jersey Shore. I was friends with all those guys and they were coming to me for haircuts. Wait, that's really fun. Yeah, it was fun. So I was doing that show and then I met the producers of that show.

the bad girls club and what's the problem i was like yeah i'm like acting i want to play like a bad guy i want to play like a troublemaker and stuff and they're like okay just go in this house and just raise hell so i i talked a bunch of to everybody um

And eventually we got into it. But I didn't realize at the time how editing could portray somebody, especially on a reality show. So they just left in the parts of me being a complete ass. Utterly horrible. They jack off to that shit. They love that shit. You know what I mean? It's insane when you put yourself in that position. Yeah. Yeah. I've been there. But you know what? Everything happens for a reason. And I kind of learned.

a lot from that and now I use that in my world. Oh, let's talk about Bryce Hall for a second while we're on that topic. Did you see how he tweeted at Corinna or he tweeted back when she was like, why are mullets so hot all of a sudden? Yeah, definitely. I think you did that. You think I personally did that? Don't you? When I saw her tweet, I thought about you because didn't you that day post some like long ass fucking mullet pic? I did. Yeah, I keep up. I did. And I was going to put the eyes too, but Bryce got to it first. Yeah. And then he ended up getting...

the shit into the stick there, but. No, it was bad. She was saying, or he was saying that she fucked him underage and then they had to come with receipts. Oh, she did that to me too, Corinna. She did the same thing. No, I'm kidding. That doesn't even work out mathematically. I'm just trying to chase clout any way I can. No,

No, I'm here for it. If you're gonna do it anywhere, please fucking do it here. Have you ever fucked Corinna? No, no. I think we fooled around the night before the crane, but I was on a bunch of sleeping pills. I swear to God. So yeah, same shit as Bryce. We're both in the same boat. Yeah, a bunch of sleeping pills. No, I don't want to put that out there. I was always, I'm big on bro code. So she dated Todd and I was like, you know what? I can't, finally we've got people in the back looking up. I never messed around with Corinna, okay?

I'll tell you the real story off the record later. Yeah, I feel like you did. I'm not going to lie. I did. No, I would never step on Todd's toes. And I know that he's in a full-blown relationship with another person now. Yeah. Who he loves and he's loyal to. Trust me. I know. I've tested him. Are you one of those friends like, come out with the boys tonight. Let's fuck bitches. No, not really. I wish I could take that credit.

I kind of think you are. I don't drink. I don't go out much. I met all your friends from wherever the fuck you're from. New York, Staten Island. That's what you served me. Is that where you're from? Yeah. Oh, wow. I did that well. Your friends are wild, though. It makes so much sense as to why. They kept trying to get us to kiss. It was actually really funny. They were like, fucking kiss. I know. Fucking do it. How often do they come into town? This was the first time I hung out with them in like 10 years. Really? Yeah. They were a lot. We used to get in a lot of trouble together. So I had to...

Not really distance myself, but yeah, I guess I could say that. Yeah, I had to distance myself. But then now that I'm so far distance, I don't want to lose who I am. So I brought them back around. It's nice. It seemed like you guys like like I would have never guessed you spent that much time away from each other. The vibes were like very. Yeah. But if we did hang out.

As much as we used to, we'd all be in a maximum security prison, probably on death row, all three of us. That's very fair. That's very fair. Speaking of you being in a new life and being so far away from it now. Go for it. Can you see? You want me to turn the lights down? Yeah. Whoa, what the fuck? My favorite thing to do to Jeff off camera is like fake pity. I can't see anything. That's why you think I'm so attractive. Yeah.

I lost my train of thought. Oh, you're saying that the reason we kissed is because I'm blind. That's a pretty funny joke. Jeff Wittek only kissed me because he's blind. That is an amazing title. Blind and brain damaged. That makes so much sense. No, but you're sober now. That's what I was saying. That's what I love about you. So you could be self-deprecating like that. You're sober now, though, when we're talking about new life paths. Have you always been sober?

No. I mean, what is even sober, you know? Oh, is this a secret? No, I mean, I don't... You want to, like, still seem all lit? I don't touch alcohol. Have you ever, though? Yeah, big time. Okay, like, you used to drink back in the day. I didn't have a problem. Like, I would, like, abuse my fucking... I don't have any kids, but, like...

I didn't have a problem like that where I would do dumb shit. Yeah. Most of my rest I was sober for. Really? Yeah. Oh, so you were just like Ted Bundy. No, I just started relying on it to sleep and stuff like that. And I started drinking every night and having hangovers, so I just cut it out.

But I smoke weed. That's what I replaced it with. And weed you don't get a hangover for. That's very true. I just stopped smoking weed. I think we're flipping the rules. Oh yeah, we switched. I know. It's really weird though. I miss marijuana a lot. Hey, more for me and more for you. More booze for you. Yeah, but I don't need any more. It's funny. You're inspiring. It's cool to see people be able to go sober and like still do this. But then again, you stay inside a lot. I think so much of what I do is like

Party based. Yeah, but I don't care about not being drunk at a party. Yeah, you kind of killed it the other night in my house. I get high off other people's energy. Yeah, other than contracting fake COVID, you seem like you had a good time at my party. Yeah, if I didn't immediately get sick the next day,

That sounds so bad, but I swear you just like got sick. There is COVID flying around your house 365 days a year. You think so? If you go in there, wear a fucking hazmat suit. I think your old man immune system just got a little weak. My immune system is great. Jeff just told me he's 31 and I'm really shocked about that. I never knew that until today. You have really like, you look young. Thank you. I drink a lot of water.

I just don't feel like that does it. Have you ever gotten Botox? Move your eyebrows. Never. Never in my life. Never.

No, I'm kidding. I want to ask you to move your eyebrows, actually. I don't know all the mechanics. I do Botox every day. Every single day? Yeah. You also weren't sleeping because you were editing your commercial. We were so funny and amazing. And then you put me in for 0.8 seconds, which was just really fucking annoying, honestly. I don't want this to sound like a promo, but I did use the other stuff on a subscription-based platform that I use. Oh, you have a subscription-based platform? Patreon, yeah. And it went out there. There was more behind the scenes stuff.

Oh, wow. What did I say on your Patreon? What did you leave in? I don't know. I don't edit those videos. I gotta go back and watch. Ooh, exposed. They put whatever in there. One time we left my friend's penis in the video on Patreon. I believe it. I do like the same thing on OnlyFans, like subscription videos, and I leave it all fucking in there. It's ridiculous. Oh, that's dope. Like comedy mixed with a little nudity? Well, yeah. I have two OnlyFans. One where I'm just a blatant whore, and then one where it's like a weekly...

And it's like a vlog of the crazy shit that happens in my life. I might make you put your dick on it after this, actually. Who knows? Okay. Who knows? My mom watches all my videos now, everything I do. She does. My mom searches it up. Yeah. That's honestly really cute. That's precious. How's your relationship with your family? Oh, I don't have any of those. No, my best friend's family. These people seem like family to you, though. Yeah.

They all care very much for you. I'm really close with my best friend's family, so that void is definitely filled. They took me in like a little street rat, and it's beautiful. Thanksgiving at theirs. My own family, though? Tragic, for sure. It's like a Britney Spears situation. Oh, my God. Like a conservator? Yeah. I often wonder if I need a conservator. Maybe I'd be better off with one. I kind of have eight, though, if you think about it. Just people who like...

Yeah, totally, completely. You can be my conservator if I go too off the rails. I'll keep all the money. Yeah, I was just going to say you're going to take all my money. I'll take 99% of this shit. Yeah, pull a Jamie Spears completely. Duh. I actually slept with a burrito in my bed last night. I like to just cuddle up to the food. If you wake up in the middle of the night, take a bite. Ugh, kind of everything. That sounds so fucking disgusting, but it's kind of true.

We always just like eat in my room as we fall asleep. Do you ever wake up and look next to you and there's a burrito laying there? That literally happened last night. Like it's not a joke at all. I woke up today and the first thing I did was eat a bite of a half-eaten bean and cheese burrito that I had last night. Now what if you had a husband?

Where would you put the burrito in between you two? I mean, hopefully I could attract someone who vibes with it or I could meet someone who makes me better and I don't want to do that. Yeah. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

But also, I don't know. Yeah, like let's say I'm gonna have a guy over. I'm like, maybe I'll take the chalupa off the pillow. You know what I mean? At least for the first date. Yeah. Second date though, if you don't. Yeah. 100%. It's like, you know, take me as I am. Find somebody that loves you for you. If you want to keep those burritos in your bed. Keep those burritos in my bed. But I mean, but also...

I'm down to grow out of that over time. It's not something, it's not a, you know, make or break. It's just something that I do occasionally. I know what you mean. You know? I went through a relationship for like three years. I didn't fart once. I swear to God. Yeah, I held them all in. It just blew up. Yeah, I ripped it for like a week straight. Yeah, as you broke up, you just farted all over. I think if you can't fart with someone. Cut that out. Or no, leave it in. What?

I think if you can't fart all over someone, like, are you even close? Yeah, I guess. I don't know. You'll find out one day. I have to have that energy with someone like you. We just have to be so insanely close. Did you rip farts on your ex-boyfriend? Definitely. Yeah? It was almost, like, fun. It was, like, a fun vibe. Like, shut up or I'm going to fart on you. Was that a bad breakup? Do you want to talk about it? You always ask me that. I'm an open book. No, I really... I mean...

No, I feel like I've had worse breakups. I don't know if that's a good way to classify it. Why'd you guys split? It was just very toxic. I think I realized that I like... Definitely the fucking farts for sure. No, I think I need someone to like...

take away the toxic like two toxics don't make a non-toxic you know like it just like it yeah continued to escalate I almost think that I need someone to kind of balance me out yeah there's like secure and you know like a good vibe yeah I think if you date me what's your type face tats I don't have a type at all

Like literally at all. Like it could be like the mailman. It could be like fucking, I don't know. I mean, face tats definitely do it for me. I'm not going to lie. Like you definitely, you'd look good with a face tat. Should you get a little, I'm surprised you don't have like a teardrop or something. I got a little scar here. The scar does also. Yeah, that helps, you know, for sure. You could put tattoo around the scar, but I feel like your image is too like pretty. What should I put on there? Tana for sure. Just Tana on my face? Absolutely. That's, I mean, that's kind of the mantra of this year is seeing how many people I can get to tattoo my name.

- Maybe, I'll think about it. - Before the years go by. Do you have tattoos? - No, I mean, yeah, I mean, no, but yeah, I have this stupid one. I'm getting it lasered off, it's so dumb.

I didn't mean to laugh at your tattoo. I literally... It's fine. I got it half lasered off. I'm doing that too. I'm like half lasering off a tattoo. I have young as fuck on my ass. It sucks to make appointments and go get... It hurts. Yeah. It also really, really, really hurts like way more than a tattoo. Yeah, it's just not something that's like on my priority list number one. Like book laser tattoo removal next week. And there's like a lot of things you can't do with it. Like go in the sun and shit. It's like a lot of work for sure. Yeah. Would you ever start an OnlyFans, Jeff? No. No.

Are you sure? Can I sign you? Are you signing people now? Oh, my God. Damn. That's... It's my new thing off camera, just pressuring anyone. Off camera? There's seven cameras. Well, yeah. You know, I've...

normally this is yeah you're the first person you're gonna be a star exactly exactly you would never do no booty pics no nothing no no no i did once i did like a like a risky photo on patreon but yeah then they labeled my account uh 18 plus and i was like all right i'm not even gonna fuck with this shit anymore what did the photo entail um it was just i had uh

I was partnered with a brand at the time, which I won't speak of anymore because we had a terrible falling out. I love to speak of them after we have a falling out. No, I don't want to even get into it. I've been going off too much on them. Whatever. It's fucking Old Spice. I put their deodorants, like a box of deodorants, and I was fully naked and I just had that cover in my crotch. Were they a fan or not a fan? No, it was rejected. That was my suggestion to do my brand deal. Oh.

No, it would have sold some Old Spice for sure. Yeah, I mean, the partnership was good for a while, but we didn't use that post I put on Patreon as like a joke. And then it went into, oh, so you can't do like slutty shit on Patreon. No. Not for me. I'll stick to OnlyFans for sure. Yeah, you got it going on. You got it all figured out. I really think that OnlyFans is your next move, though. You're going to be a star, kid. No, I don't think so.

I'm gonna keep trying to convince you for sure. Oh, you were just talking about a relationship that you were in. In the entire time I've known you, I've never seen you in a relationship. - Yeah. - You got it one of my friends once. - Did I? - Yeah, I think it was right after the accident actually. You came to my house. I don't know if you remember, I feel like you were like... - I hit my head hard. Who is this? - Her name is Maddie, Maddie Crum. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I DM'd her once. - Yeah. - I said, "Hey, congrats."

And she was like, she was like, for what? I don't even know what she said, but it was just such like a random fucking weird thing to DM somebody. I know. I like congrats. It's kind of a good way. It's such an asshole thing to do. And then I had a crack right after. You think that's enough? Damn, man. My gauging of what's asshole and what's not isn't very good because I would just think that's funny. I don't know. Well, you're an original.

You are one of a kind. So I don't know. Of course, you would like that. But I think the average girl getting a hey, congrats. Yeah. Is probably not the best way to introduce yourself. Thank you so much. Like hi, beautiful or something. It's just so corny. It's boring. I don't know. I'll go back to the asshole me. But so you haven't been in a relationship in the entire time you've been on social media. No. Do you think that makes you a sociopath?

Why? How do those two line up? I'm just like trying to psychoanalyze. Like, I don't even know. Like, I'm figuring out how they line up. Are you able to turn, like, is it because you were like, I'm in grind mode, I'm turning my emotions off? That's kind of how I was insinuating. Yeah, 100%. I'm emotionally unavailable because I'm so focused on my work and it wouldn't be fair for me to bring a girl into my life and not give her my full attention. Okay, that's fair. Actually, maybe it's not that sociopathic. Maybe it's like the right thing to do. Who knows? Yeah.

But doesn't, isn't that- Because if I'm in it, I'm in it 100%. Isn't that sad? Aren't you lonely? No, no, no. I figure, let me figure myself out, bust my ass, build this empire. And then I'll find somebody that is the right- You're at the starting a family age, if you think about it. Okay. Well, you want to go there? That's what you brought me on for? Call me old? Would you ever start a family? Do you want kids? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll have kids. I'll have kids one day. But like an older dad? Yeah.

What the fuck? I'm 31. If I have a kid in five years, when the kid is 20... Five years? I'll be 65. No, when the kid's 15, I'll be 50. And then I can play basketball with that kid. I'll fucking slam dunk on that kid when I'm 50 years old.

Maybe I'll do that. But if you were going to have a kid in five years, don't you think that you should be in a relationship now? I'm going to be like The Rock at 50, though. I'm going to get way taller and jacked. That is true. And I'm going to be on stem cells, HGH, adrenochrome, baby blood. We were just talking about that before the podcast. I'll be sucking down baby blood. For sure. People already think I do it. But then again, people also think I look 30, so I don't really know how they correlate. You look like a mix between 15 and 35. Thank you.

Have you ever drank... Baby blood? Yeah. No. Did you ever watch an American Horror Story season where they...

Like in order to get inspired and have talent, you have to drink human's blood. No, I've never. You know what's funny is I've never been that interested in the show, but for some reason that just did it for me. Maybe I'll start watching it. I just watched it. It was like people that have writer's block and stuff like that. Yeah. It's a really good show. Honestly. American Horror Story. Well, I'll have to get into it. My ex-girlfriend was just on it. I should go see her look all sexy and kill it.

Oh, your ex-girlfriend was on American Marstry? American Marstry, yeah. Who's that? Is that public? Yeah, this girl, Noah Cyrus. I just dressed as her sister, Hannah Montana, though, so I'm kind of waiting for her to call me crazy for that. What do you think of Bryce's mullet? I like it. I like mullets right now. Do you like my mullet better than Bryce's? Show it off. Take off the hat. Why are you balding? No, I'm not balding.

It's killing it. I don't know. Bryce's is pretty good. You guys are both. Well, I gave Bryce's and I gave myself mine and I gave him a not as good one on purpose because I can't have him rocking a better mullet than me. You don't want that new generation to threaten you. I'm going to fix it for him. No, his looks really good, honestly. I know. I'm just kidding. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Back to your, ooh, good question. Back to your relationship things. What's your type?

My type, probably athletic, doesn't smoke jewels, brunette. He just says every single thing that I'm not. No, I'm the same. I don't really have a type. I'm kind of just the type of person that goes through a lot of phases and I'm just...

I don't know. It could be whatever. I actually agree with that. Physical type, it could be whatever. I definitely, after I get out of a relationship with one type of person, I want like the exact opposite. Like I go through phases for sure. Yeah. You know, but I guess you're not, you're not as dainty as me by far. So we cannot relate there.

Yeah, but no, I've had blonde haired girlfriends, Hispanic girlfriends, black girlfriends. I've dated everything in the book. The people's person. Not like I'm insane. I get around that much. That's kind of crazy that you went from dating everything to like absolutely nothing though. Well. A little sociopathic. I'm just kidding. Yeah, no, it's fine. Have you ever been to therapy? I'm sure there's something. Yeah, I have. How much therapy? Not much. I kind of just use podcasts and talking to millions of people as my therapy. Okay.

I don't want to just read the comment sections. That's terrible. That's really bad. No, for sure. We're going to have a lot of issues. You think you have trauma other than, you know? Yeah, I think so. But I was a bad kid. Yeah. Tortured my parents. I was 14. I stole their car. But don't you think that... My friend smoking cigarettes in the backseat. Like, I just did not care. You only really ever sold weed. I started selling weed when I was like 13 and then it quickly escalated to so much more. So when people say they only ever sold weed, I...

It perplexes me. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You sold drugs? Yes. And he's like, I love her. Yeah. All right. I found my type. No. I was crazy. I was psycho. I talk about it a lot growing up in Vegas. I was nuts. Obviously, you know, selling drugs is bad. Vegas is a tough place to grow up, huh? A crazy place to grow up. I mean, so was Staten Island, obviously. You know, it's like big city vibes. But Vegas is crazy because everyone's just like 21, 22.

And everybody goes there for one thing. Which is horrible shit. Oh, yeah. You quickly learn that like how much money is in the dark side of the world, you know? For sure. Yeah. It's bad. Have you ever bought a hooker? No. What? Have you ever? What do you think? A Mike Malak? We got to learn his pronunciation of his name. That's how you say it. Is it Malak? Yeah. What do you think it is? I've been calling him Mike Magic.

Not Magic Mike. Mike Magic. That's kind of better. Mike Magellolac. He's about to be a father. Yeah, that's funny. No, I don't think it's his kid though, right? Didn't they make that like public that it's definitely not? See, have you ever gotten someone pregnant? That wasn't on my list. No. Never a pregnancy scare? Do you fuck a lot? Are you like a...

No, I think definitely like guys that get prostitutes, I think just jerk off, you know? I think that will solve your problem with... Well, no, not prostitutes, but I mean like are you out here in LA? I've never heard someone say like, I fuck Jeff. But I'm all for supporting local businesses. So if you want to support small businesses, then go for it. It's amazing. I'm not judging anybody. Fair enough. You know what I mean? Have you ever hooked up with a guy? No. No.

You are nominated for a streaming. Oh, yeah. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, I worked real hard on this one. That I mean, I know a lot of people have a lot of corny things to say about it, but to be recognized for something you put your heart and soul into. What are you nominated for? Best like comeback documentary. Yeah, which is cool because it's like it's pretty much like best comeback. Is that a category? I don't even know.

No, I just post accident performance. I could have swore you were nominated for best video creator with brain damage. No, no, no, no. There's a lot of those. Come on. Best documentary. Yeah, that's a cool one because it's like vlogs, but a little better, you know, and it's not just more professional than blog. Male heartthrob. It's like actually somebody that's a vlogger that's nominated for the vlogger category. That's probably a bigger one that comes later in the show. No, but I mean, it's cool.

At the end of the day, to put your heart and soul into that documentary and then be nominated for something for it is like the sickest feeling in the world. Who are you up against?

I don't even know. That's good. No disrespect. Actually, full disrespect to all my competitors because I'm fucking competitive, you know, whatever it is, what it is. Doesn't, I think a board of... I smashed my head off a crane. What did you do for your documentary? I don't even, I need to do my research because there might actually be like some Mr. Beast in there that's saving the world and I'm like just hitting my head on a crane. No, the worst, the worst thing that ever happened to me was winning creator of the year over Mr. Beast. Oh yeah, you did? That it was, but it was... Oh, and you beat David too, right? That felt great. Oh,

But Mr. Beast out here just like planting thousands of trees. And I'm like, I shook my tits all year and won. Oh, my God. I walked off stage. I was like, shit, that's going to not go too good. You know, he's got plenty of awards and accomplishments. You deserve that one. He won the next year and he was like, finally, we didn't lose to Taylor.

Did he say that in his speech? Damn, that's good. He's funny. He tweeted that. He is really funny. Mr. Beast is a fucking icon. He just did some creator squid games whole thing. I don't even know. Lazy idea. What?

I'm just jealous I didn't get invited. Honestly, same. I couldn't agree more. Not that I would. You'd be invited before me by far. You're more brand safe than me. I don't know how. I probably would have won. Did you have to kill the opponents? Did they actually die? Was there actual murders? Yeah, Logan Paul actually is dead. Oh, yeah? Damn, then I take it back. Good job, Mr. Beast. Rest in peace. No, not Logan Paul. I was just saying if he actually went as far as to kill off participants in his video, that'd be sick. You know, like actually went full on Hunger Games. Oh, yeah.

- Or I guess Squid Game. - I would tune in. - They die in that too. - So talk to me about this barbershop hair brand. Cloud play, money play, passion play? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was genuinely a barber since I'm a kid, you know, like 15 years old, I started cutting hair full time in a barbershop. - He did tell me it costs $30,000 for a haircut if it's off camera though. - That was just me fucking around, being sarcastic.

- No, but I did love cutting hair, but obviously you get to a point where you can't really grow as a, you know, just a barber. What do you open a barbershop and then you have a whole bunch of new stresses in life. - No clout, God, no. - The toilet overflows, you gotta call a plumber or you gotta worry about your barbers that work for you being on drugs or getting arrested and bailing them out of jail.

So I was like, how can I? Well, that's not really the reason. Also, it's just how many haircuts can you do a day? You know, how many people can you actually have as your clients? Yeah. And I want to make people feel better about themselves by giving better haircuts. Like, look at Bryce. He got so confident that he went after Corinna publicly on Twitter. He got too much confidence. Yeah. I don't think that was the haircut.

- He was literally the haircut. - Maybe just the extreme narcissism. - He said, "Oh, you like mullets?" Yeah, and then he was like, "Oh yeah, I just got a mullet from Jeff." I feel great about myself. Sometimes I give people too much confidence and then it backfires on them. But what you do with it is on you. That's why I wanted to do this. - You're just a philanthropist. Just a humanitarian. - I think we're all in a better place. I'm all about Abraham Lincoln. Is that, what's the-- - Benjamin Franklin. - Is that a $5 bill? I'm all about making five bucks, baby. No.

It wasn't for the money, but that's nice. Is this your first company? First brand that you've started? Yeah, first company. I've done like merch and stuff like that, which I try to take a little bit more serious than other creators. Merch, I do care. That was a subtle dig. No, not at you. Are you calling my merch shitty? No, no, no. It is shitty. Is it? No, it's not shitty. I just need to do some new crazy shit soon. Damn. I'm just joking. Sound off in the comments below.

Maybe I'll screen grab us kissing and sell it on a shirt and give you $0. Yeah, that'd be cool. I'm down for that. Loving that.

No, but I just wanted to be able to spread my talents across the world. And it's so cool when you launch it, you see the products go into different places like Dubai and Australia. Crazy. Yes. And knowing that all over the world, people love it. I love how right now you're releasing a hair care line and I'm releasing an alcohol line. Very on brand for us. Yeah. Super on brand. What kind of alcohol? I just wanted to spread my talents across the world. Yeah, you are spreading a good time.

That's what you are showing to people. - Buenos dias world from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. - And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What kind of alcohol can I ask? Wine. Oh, great. Yeah, little canned wines.

I'll put you off the PR list. Maybe the next. No, no. I'll take it because. Maybe just pose with it. You have been using me to promote a lot. So I could at least get something. I owe you a lot. Yeah. That's hot. I love that.

So that's cool. It's like Nelk Boys kind of. Now let's move back to your brand. Back to your accident. Okay. Whatever. You want to go there? I'm jumping around. I'm just kidding. I haven't actually like gotten into questions about it. Let's see. How many fingers are you holding up? Let's do that game.

Yeah. Oh, did you have to do all the crazy eye tests? Yeah, yeah. I could do it. You basically have eye tests over here. I could do eye tests on these things. I could read all these words. How long was that period of time? Like the healing period of time? I'm still healing. I'm still going through a bit of a healing process. I think I have one more surgery that I have to do. One or two maybe. Yeah, but it's fine now. It's like haircuts. Is that the most terrifying thing in the world?

In the beginning, yeah, it was. Because it's like, I didn't understand what I was doing. I would just go into the doctor and they'd say some stuff. Oh, we're going to cut into your eye. And I'm like, just do it. Just fucking pull me out and do it. But now I know what they're doing and it's not that crazy. It is crazy. No, but you've normalized it to become a part of your life. Hell yeah. I want all the kids out there to go fucking smash their eye. And it's going to be okay. Was it weird to kind of go from...

I mean, obviously you have your little prison stick. Good luck into a monster. Yeah.

Is that what you're going to say? No, but I mean like to go from just like hot normal Jeff to like, like, did you like people giving you pity? Like the stigma around it? No. Yeah. I don't fucking know. The stigma around it. Like people treating you differently. Did you hate that? Nobody treats me different. Really? No. My friends are ruthless. They'll all fucking, hey, can you see me with that fucking eye? But in life, like right after, you don't feel like people were kind of like...

No. That's a good thing, actually. Yeah, it was kind of nice. I don't want a bunch of yes men around me, you know? So that was just you kind of surrounding yourself. Yeah, I even have friends that I like spar with and they're punching me in that eye, you know? Wow, that's love. That's the type of people you need to surround yourself with. That's love. They come by every morning, 9 a.m. We're just wailing on each other in my guest bedroom that I transitioned into a gym. How come you haven't boxed? Oh.

um because the accident really yeah actually i was out for so long no i would have definitely done that social glove if i had been asked and if i should out of like vinnie hacker or something for a little clout my trainer trains vinnie too so i wouldn't want to say vinnie but yeah i mean i would love to after the accident happened i mean or just everything happened do you feel like it changed your friendships with any of the people around you

Yeah, for sure. And that's not even on anybody else. It's just how I dealt with it mentally. I definitely let it. It just made me not want to see anybody. I was very distant for a while. And it didn't happen right off the bat. It kind of happened like six months in. I didn't think it was going to be like,

a lifelong souvenir this accident you know but damn that gave me chills when you actually see out of your eye i'm always i've never really asked you that because i'm always clowning you no i could see you when i look at you from here i could see you but like if you what my eyes just close your good eye let's do a test let's do a test okay so if i is this good or bad this oh you can't even tell no what

- It's not like it's a glass eye, Jeff. - There's scars over the whole side. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay. - Yeah, no, I could see. It's fine. It's just, it's a little double vision sometimes. - Damn, that's wild. Is that the only way you feel like it affected you mentally or was there like a big battle that was there? - There were other struggles along the way, but damn, you got me.

I didn't know you were gonna get me all open like this today. I was actually just thinking to myself the difference in this episode versus like your impulsive like I thought you were gonna come on here and just troll the shit out of me and you're actually like opening up so it's interesting. While I have you vulnerable I might as well fuck it. Let me use my own platform to cry and complain about my eye all the time. No, I'm so much better off than I was. We got Jeff Wittek vulnerable today. A year ago. Yeah? Yeah.

Do you get something? Do you feel like you constantly have to maintain a tough guy? Do you struggle with that? Like, is being, does being vulnerable or emotional make you uncomfortable? No, I'm actually working on dropping the whole tough guy persona. You are? I'm working hard at it and I'm trying to stop saying fuck as much.

Because everything's fucking this, fucking that. And when my parents came out here and listened to me do the podcast, my dad didn't pressure me. He's like, you fucking this. I'm going to fucking have a fucking LaCroix. And it's right. He's right. I've added so many unnecessary fuckings. Okay. And I'm going to start working on cutting those out. Round of applause, guys. I'm going to stop saying fuck as much. I'm a big fan of an unnecessary fucking. I know. I know. I've heard.

I'm kidding. I love that for you. I can never stop swearing. So, I mean, I do love that. I'm going to try to cut back. You want to go to church? You're sober. You're going to stop swearing. Do you believe in God? Yes. You know, I was raised Catholic, but I don't go to a Catholic church anymore. Yeah. That's not... Do you ever pray? No.

I did the Hail Marys the other day because I had a Ouija board at my house because I ordered it for a Halloween episode that we were supposed to do together. If you brought a Ouija board into a fucking episode with me, I would have literally absolutely had like an aneurysm. Why are people so scared of Ouija boards? I'm scared of what they bring. And I believe in it. I've had so many like insane paranormal experiences and I feel like I already attract that. You know what I did? What? I threw the Ouija board on the floor and I spit on it.

Because everybody was making a big deal about it. Can you get out of my studio? Is this bad? That's my trigger. I didn't realize that Ouija boards are so bad. Are you really? Honest to God, they fucking, I tell everyone, like never bring one in my house. It was a fake one that we got on Amazon. That's not fake. That's a completely real Ouija board. You're like letting demons into your shit. I am messing with the demons. I need to stop.

I would rather you do anything. I would rather you told me you murdered someone completely, entirely. Nope, didn't murder someone, just messed around with a Ouija board. And I apologize to all of the Ouija board manufacturers. The Ouija board community? Yeah, the Ouija board community. Didn't mean to offend the Ouija board community out there. No, but I didn't know anything. I never heard these stories about Ouija boards and I never got into them. And I disrespected one and I got sick the next day.

See, that's the thing. You're out here trying to blame me. Like, I'm the fucking devil, but you're out here calling the motherfucking devil. Is that what Ouija boards do? They bring bad omens and bad things into your life a lot of the times because you're kind of like opening a portal into... I mean, obviously, I guess it depends on if you believe in that or if you don't, but I just... Do I do an apology here today? I think you should apologize to... I would like to apologize to... God. God. God. God.

For summoning spirits and then bringing them around this podcast studio. I did not mean to. It was a mistake. Are you saying you brought them here? That was your intention? They may or may not have followed me. I don't know. They're invisible. I really actually hate this entire conversation. Okay, let's move on. God, please protect Jeff.

Please bring him wellness. Please send away any bad spirits. Help him to make wiser decisions that are in your honor. Yes. We pray this prayer in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Okay, I have a fun game for you. And I've really wanted to do this with a Vlog Squad member for a really long time. Oh, nice. Yeah, you said you were going to do it with Zane and Keith, but they backed out. Not Zane and Keith. Whatever. Sorry.

Let's do it with us. We'll make it better. Honestly, it's not even a game. It's just this for my pure enjoyment. This is what happens when I like create my own games. It's just like sadistic shit that I like want to see people do. Okay. Um, and with that being said, I want you to rate the vlog squad members on this list right here. Okay. From your least favorite to favorite. Okay. Um,

I also feel like Zayn and Heath are- Matt King is number two. What did Matt King do to you? He's a rat.

Oh shit. Wait, really? Do you actually know that one? No, his name just rhymes with it and I break his balls a lot. And he honestly plays along so good at like our dynamic. You guys kind of have a similar sense of humor. Yeah, fuck him. Fuck Matt. He's 11 actually. I didn't know there was an 11 option down there. Yeah, well I just had to include every member that I wanted to know about. Here, we'll put... No, I don't want to put Heath there. I'll put Heath in like... Heath could go up there. I like Heath.

Jason's definitely up there. Can I do two for the same one? No. Oh, yeah, you're right. I want it to be me, and I want you to get Ruth. This one's like, they're tied. These two are tied for number one. Okay. I love these guys. Yeah. Jonah. This is a tough one. What did Jonah do? Because he betrayed me. He betrayed you? He betrayed me. What did he do? And we were best friends. Sold his soul? And we were business partners. And...

He broke up with me. He broke up with you? He's going to go down. During the cancellations, he just left you in the dust? He left me in the dust. Swear to God. I can never tell if you're serious or not. Oh, I'm dead serious. That one seems serious. There's proof on the internet. You can look it up. Damn. He said, no more Jeff. I'm going to start a kebab business. But I love his family dearly. And yes, I have had kebabs. I support the business. I support him and

You know, whatever he wants to do with his life. But Matt King's still lower. Matt is still lower, yeah. Yeah, big time. David...

He used to be up here, and now after the crane, we'll put him down here. He's at five. That's not bad, huh? I'm an easy guy, you know? I'm so happy I saved this. You hit me with a crane, you know? It's all good. You're number five in my book. No, be Jonah and you're 10. Hit me with a fucking crane. Susie is a sweetheart. Susie is so sweet. We got to put her at number two and a half, 2.5. I'm loving what you're doing with this numeric system. Corinna, we hate her, right? Yeah.

I love you. I'll do that to make you happy. She's just above Jonah. She's just above Jonah. Shit, did she betray you or not? Natalie, I will put Natalie. Damn, Natalie is actually the boss of the vlog squad, so I'm going to put her up here just in case she's watching. Look at that. Look at that, Natalie. Okay? She's off camera with a fucking Glock 9. Damn, now all we got left is Scott and Zane. Damn.

This is tough. It's not even like a good spot to fight for. Do you and Zane have beef? No, I love them both, these two guys. So it's fuck Jonah, really. But Scott would probably be like, put me lower because that's, you know. That's his personality. So Scott, do me the favor. Thanks. Okay.

We'll give you the credit for that joke. So Toddy Jason. Well, Scott would actually want to be fucking down here, actually, because that's what Scott likes to do. Oh, so Matt King just moved to number eight. No, I can't do that. Keeping Matt down here at 11 and a half. Yo, that's my fucking favorite thing I've ever done. I'm going to start making everyone rank their friends. That was fun. Wasn't that like a good exercise? Yeah.

Yeah. Todd, he took it home. Todd. Well, Todd and Jason. I mean, David literally took a part of your eye and he's number five. He's above Zane. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I think that's fair. I promise you this is my new favorite bit. Well, thank you for that. Well, it only kind of works for people that come from squads. Yeah, that's true. There's a lot of those now. A lot of those TikTokers are trying to emulate you guys. I guess they just need like a really public tragedy to really rank. Yeah.

Yeah, who's your favorite TikToker, TikTok squad? TikTok squad. I mean, just like original Hype House. They're iconic for sure. Charlie, Lil Huddy, all of those. Who's your favorite TikToker? Probably Charlie, Lil Huddy.

Who's... Do you ever watch TikTok? Yeah, there's this one guy. I want to give him a shout out right now. He's called Beaman. And he does these very funny original TikToks. He's like this old guy from Boston. Not old. He's maybe in his mid-40s. That's not old to you at all. No, no. Maybe he's 50s, actually. He could be 50s, but he just says something really aggressive. He'll be like...

Don't take swimming lessons. Just drown. Be a man or something. I don't even know if that's one of them, but he just says ridiculous shit. I love that. And his whole logic behind it is just be a man. I would love to see your For You page. I bet it's fucking brutal. It's brutal. Yeah, I'll show you after.

I would love to see it. Well, tune into his next episode of The Barbershop that he planned absolutely nothing for because he decided that he wanted to do it today. And it will be just as awkward and offensive as this episode. It'll be super awkward and Tana will be very uncomfortable and naked. Keep an eye out for it. Only one.

Okay. Thank you for watching this week's episode of Cancelled with the legendary, illegally blind Jeff Wittek. I love you, Jeff. Love you, Tana. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming on. This was fun. Tana Mugia is cancelled. A DWE Talent Production. Buenos Dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wint. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.