cover of episode 99: TANA GOT IN A FIGHT WITH AN INFLUENCER IN VEGAS…

99: TANA GOT IN A FIGHT WITH AN INFLUENCER IN VEGAS…

2024/10/23
logo of podcast Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield

Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield

Key Insights

Why did Tana decide to go with a theme on the podcast day of?

Tana has a lot of props and costumes at home, making it easy to change themes quickly.

What was Tana's concern about robots?

Tana doesn't like robots coming up to her, even for deliveries.

What was the experience at the Sphere like for Tana?

It was unsettling due to AI robots that looked and interacted like real people.

Why did Tana feel sad during the Postcards from Earth show?

The show highlighted humanity's achievements but also made her reflect on current societal issues.

What does Tana suggest for future podcast content?

Tana invites listeners to request topics they want her to discuss.

Chapters

Tana and Brooke reflect on reaching their 100th episode and discuss their hometown shows in Vegas and LA.
  • Tana and Brooke celebrate their 100th episode milestone.
  • They share their experiences from their hometown shows in Vegas and LA.
  • Tana mentions feeling emotional seeing their billboard on the Vegas strip.

Shownotes Transcript

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College degrees are pricey, but with low tuition and our $2,500 back-to-school scholarship, WGU makes it possible to earn your degree at a price you can afford. Apply today at wgu.edu. Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. That was a good, strong one. That was a really good, strong one. It feels so good to be on this couch. I just feel like, even just back in the real world, I feel like I have so many more topics and I'm just...

Just a reset if you will Back in LA How are you feeling? We're feeling great My pitch for today's look If you guys are I always want to say visual listener I don't know what the If you're watching this You see that we've got some stuff on our head My pitch for today was mean girls I really wanted to play into the mean girl Okay here's my problem with Tana you guys

Tana sometimes will decide day of that she wants to go with a theme on the podcast. For example, the episode where I had to wear a sexy Christmas costume. Okay. My leg hair was at least two inches long and I was sitting beside my idol and you made me wear that fucking sexy Santa costume. You didn't even tell me I was going to have to wear it. And I was modified though. You looked amazing, but you can't day of tell me something like that. Cause she wanted to be a Regina, which is a very obvious look, but what, who am I?

I was pitching I'm a mouse, duh. Yeah, which is lingerie, by the way. It's funny because I think the problem is that I'm going through my house right now, especially, so this is very prevalent to me. Like, I just have everything, right? So it's like, oh my God, you need to shave your legs. We've got an epilator. We've got a wax strip system. We've got razors from 2017 that I haven't thrown away. Yeah, but that's not, you know, in any normal job, you couldn't be like, just shave your legs. Yeah.

You're right. It's definitely an HR violation, but I think everything we do is. Wait, really quickly. I want to acknowledge something huge.

I'm inserting the photo right now Oscar, you're not real This is unreal This is our 100th episode? This is our 100th episode Halloween special Take the Peppa hat off, Tana Oh my god, really? You know what's really alarming about that? Everything We've had cancelled for four years No, we haven't had it cancelled for four years We've had it since 20 There's no way I was 22 Cancelled turned four Like a little while ago

like that's not a joke at all but we did have like a year off almost it's so funny because it's like to me if you genuinely asked me before oscar just put that blimp in the room like what episode we were on i would have told you like 275 matter of fact if i was in a business meeting and like people ask me like oh how many episodes have you shot i would have been like 275 even

Even the other day, I was, again, going through fucking shit. And I found that red carpet that we rolled out for our, like, award show episode. Yeah, they canceled awards. That feels like, like the Matt Rife interview. Like, I feel like I made that Osama bin Laden joke fucking five years ago. A lifetime ago. But that's the point. Like, we really have had canceled. Okay. For so long. But what's the date on that? Because it's almost four years that we've had it. And keep in mind, we erased, like, a lot of episodes. 2021. 2021.

July 2021. That's crazy. So anyway, we should be long past our 100th episode, but nonetheless, today is our 100th episode. That's actually like pathetic. It is. You want to know why I feel that way? Because I look at like Therapuss is on its like 600th episode and he started like six months ago. Oh my God. Okay. And congratulations on his tour, by the way. You know what? You know what?

I was hoping for like a phrase to just come to me in that moment. Comparison is the thief of joy. Thank you. I was going to go for like, it's the climb or something. I don't fucking know. You know what I want to talk about just off rip immediately. Speaking of canceled and I guess it's a hundred episodes, right? Last episode, I go read the comments as I do. Right. Oh, I had to stop. You know, I go read them. I go check in. I'm like, you know, what are the people saying? Right. Top comment. Top comment.

They're so, I don't even know what the word would be, like reserved now. Like they're so, you know what I mean? Like they're not gonna talk their shit now. Like this is, I just, I miss the old council when they weren't reserved and yada yada. Here's what I'm going to fucking say. If I have something to be unreserved about myself,

And if my 10 year career doesn't show this as well, I have never and will never be reserved. If I could be reserved, I would have a completely different life. Okay. It's not like you're like withholding information. There is nothing I think that could happen to make me then come on this mic and be reserved. Like I think some people are considering us like careful, like sometimes when like controversial topics come up, we're like careful.

Which we normally wouldn't have been But I don't even think I have been being that careful I don't know Here's what I'm gonna say though I think obviously coming off of the high Of like Alyssa and Clinton and whatever Then if we have an episode Where we're just talking about

I was going to say farting, but I'm done. That was the other comment. Stop talking about shitting. I'm sorry. We all do it. Sometimes there's more. If a new one of those happened tomorrow, you don't think I'm going to come on? Like, you know what I mean? Like if I saw Jason Nash panhandling on Sunset and... Sorry, Tana. We're waiting for a controversy to fall into our lap. I mean, and it's not that I'm preying on one, but I'm just saying anyone who thinks that I'm ever going to be fucking reserved, it doesn't. Maybe you need to read up on a little Tana Mongeau lore. Okay. Because it's just like...

I don't know. That was blowing my mind. Like, I'll read many one. Did you know that you were one of the 50 most influential influencers of the year? The Hollywood Reporter named me one of the most 50 influential influencers of this year, which is very nice and an honor. And my manager sent me the invite to that. And here's the thing about L.A., right? Like, I just see the thing and it's like, A-list, influential Hollywood event, right? But like, they call everything that in L.A. Like, it could actually be a dinner with like,

Vine stars And like David Dobrik alumni And like Addicted models And they're gonna call it Like creator A-list Hollywood influencer event So now when I just See that shit I'm like okay Like Right And then it actually was Like an honor And an amazing event And I like just missed it Cause I assumed It was like a dinner With like

and Nick from the vlog squad and like, I didn't need to attack them. They're sweet. They're sweet. They can live. Well, anyway, congratulations. That is a very high honor. You've been so, um, decorated these days.

Oh, I have so many fucking topics. I don't even know where to begin. I do too. Wait, first of all, should I start with my apology? Oh yeah, you're sorry. I forgot. Yeah, I'm sorry. I have another apology to issue. I didn't understand why it was a big deal, but like then I saw like once she explained it, I was like, okay, I get it. But I have to issue a formal apology to Brittany Furland. Okay. She... Brittany Furland. Brittany Furland.

She obviously DM me on her podcast. She said like she tried a bunch of times. Like I really don't think that. Well, I mean, I guess I believe her, but like I check my DMs all the time. I never saw it until that day. But she DM me and she was like, why are you saying you made out with my husband? And like my initial thought was like, what the fuck? Like, what are you even talking about? But then I remembered I did say that. I fully said that on your vlog because.

Remember when we were kind of doing like our little like embellishment of things that happened at Coachella? Like we saw Jeff Bezos from afar. So obviously Ari ran him over. Ari did kind of run Jeff Bezos over. I'm not going to hold you. But I get what you're saying. I think that you and I just say shit. And it's like...

Tommy Lee's lore Like I love Motley Crue I love the dirt Like it's You know what I mean It's a I want to explain it as that So that's You're also drunk at Coachella And you're not thinking about Brittani for Lond You know Okay Relax Because this is a genuine apology Because if someone came online And was talking about Kissing my husband I would come to that too Yeah that's the thing That's the thing But here's the thing

To me, Tommy Lee is like Justin Bieber. He's one of the most famous people in the world. So I'm not thinking in my head that is somebody's husband. I'm thinking that is Tommy Lee. So in my head, I'm like, oh, I saw him from fucking 20 feet away. I just made out with Tommy Lee. Spread the word. Yeah, like silly joke. It's funny. You and I went to check the raw footage too to see if we cut out a just kidding. Didn't at all. We didn't. So apparently, I did not say just kidding, but I think I just assumed. I mean, I know that you would know that I was kidding. I should have assumed that the audience didn't.

Doesn't know that I'm kidding. Yes. Okay. So that's where I went wrong. Also, we are... You just can't say that because, I mean, he really... Like, I did really see him. So it's like, it is technically plausible. But the reason I feel like apologizing is because...

in her own comments people are like girl don't be stupid like your husband totally did that and like it it absolutely did not happen it is not true at all and they're so cute that's the thing when I like because she DM me and I was like oh Brittany for land just DMed me Tana Tana I love Tana I'm just kidding um but I saw the crazy dude I just looked in the viewfinder um

When I saw she DM'd me, I love her. I love her and Tommy Lee. I keep up with all of their lore, like his little gardening shtick and like all the stuff that they do and her TikToks about him being her husband and like her, she's funny as fuck. See, I think if I had been more hip to that, I probably wouldn't have made that joke. But in my head, it's like, well, I shouldn't say that, but he's Tommy Lee. Yeah. In my head. I honestly, in my head, I barely even think he's alive still. Like I just think, well, I think he's just like a legend. You know what I'm saying? But then listen to this. Listen to my luck, Tana Harkness.

Tell me why I'm on a fucking JSX flight the other day and I land at the JSX airport. There's not a person there, not a soul. I saw a tumbleweed go by and the only fucking person sitting there is fucking Tommy Lee. I swear on my life. I literally- Imagine right now you're just doubled down. You're like, and after we fucked in the bathroom-

I'm fucking kidding After the clip is already like going around And I'm already like I just I don't want to be involved In anything like that on online right now anyway So I'm like oh my god like

And God forbid he looks at me and like knows what happened. So then I thought about it. I'm like, should I go up to him and apologize? And then I'm like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. So I literally just like fucking sleuthed out of there so fast. And I was, that was the end of it. But I did not kiss your husband. And I am sorry for saying that. I thought it would be like automatically everyone just knows that that's like my humor. And it's a joke, but it's not a joke. But you know what? I'll say something really quick about her co-host. Her co-host, I'm sorry, is sitting there and she's like, well, it's Brooke Schofield. You know, she just makes things up.

And I'm like, ouch, first of all. And here's, I'll raise you this, okay? If you know that tidbit of information, then you know that it is pronounced Tana. And so I will say she should have corrected if she is so knowledgeable about the canceled podcast, she should have said, it's actually Tana Marie. Thank you. I'm sorry.

It's like what Just what world Are we fucking living in I'm not just like Making things up by the way I say that I like lying I'm not just Making things up all the time I'm talking about like Oh like Well Like I kissed Tommy Lee At Coachella You know what I mean Like that's the kind of Like harmless Which is actually Not that harmless to lie Maybe you guys Kind of clocked me I don't know

You know what I really liked is that you went through every motion in that. Yeah, and now I'm back to apologizing. Brittany, I was wrong. Brittany. And justice for Brittany. Stop accusing. Honestly, it's sad because everyone in the comment, even Dave on BFFs, which I never want to be spoken about on BFFs ever again, is he's like, no, I think she did it. But I'm not a homewrecker. I'm trying to think about if I have any more thoughts on this. Sorry, I came in with a lot of energy. I definitely thought she thought my name was Tana. That's really just, I was really, I wasn't expecting that. But then again, who am I to think that? Okay.

I think it just goes down to like...

If we're mutuals and like the co-host knowing about cancer, like whatever. But obviously people call me Tana every day in my real life. Like, you know what I mean? Like if I go to the DMV, they're going to say not that I'm going there. I'm trying to think like phonetically, like what would actually make sense. Like Starbucks and shit is going to say it is Tana. Because like Lana. Okay, but think about like Dantanas. No one calls it Dantanas. Whoa. And like Montana. Yeah. But does that prefix make that a different? I don't know. I definitely think my parents...

Oh. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't think phonics was their leading point. I think I'm distracted. I'm like really high energy today and I don't know what to do. It's all bottled up inside of me. Listen, Britanny for Lond. I'm just kidding. I need to stop. Yeah.

Yeah You shouldn't have said that Obviously I respect your marriage I'm so sorry I did not kiss your husband In fact I did not get Within 20 feet of him He was just behind me At some random EDM set That I was at Yeah Doja Cat I think you were just Ill informed Drunk and making a silly joke To me that I obviously Got was a joke And we do that a lot We'll make jokes to each other That we assume the audience Is going to get Yeah like if I say like Oh yeah I fucked

I don't know who else is famous like that. Like Steven Tyler. Everyone would be like, ha ha ha. I don't know though. Cause then when you put it that way, like you think it's pot, maybe I just shouldn't make those jokes. That's a good takeaway, especially with your boyfriend, your new boyfriend. I do have a boyfriend. How fun. So fun. Brooke has a boyfriend. I feel like this is the first time in our lives where we've ever had a boyfriend at the same time. Well, I guess maybe like a Clinton ex.

Whoever the fuck I was with. That was not a boyfriend. That was a lizard. Yeah. Do you have any... Do you want to share anything about your new fucking boyfriend? I don't know. I think that like... It's good to not. Yeah. And once I say things, I can't take them back. But I can slowly say things over time. I would rather just keep this one for my own self for a second. Yeah. But I'm having lots of fun. You've been like... You could talk about how like... Because this is kind of lighthearted. How you've been like build-a-bitching this man. No, no. That's not true. But...

Everybody knows like my thing is like adapting my entire personality to a man, which is shameful and you shouldn't do it. Okay. And I feel like, I don't know why I do that, but like, I think it's like if you're insecure, like usually I'm going after guys who like, I'm not that like secure in their life.

Like it's not reciprocated Yeah That much So I feel like I have to change myself To make myself into like What they would want Uh huh I have no doubts about this man So I'm like whatever I can just Be yourself I can slay in my Which is great My pumpkin hat And he's gonna Yeah He's gonna love you for you But

I did make him buy a couple of hats and shirts with horses on them. This man. Cause now I've like really, like, I really like, I go home now to Arizona and I'm like, you know what? This is where I came from. And this is me. So yes, he does have a hat with a horse on it. Now that I bought it. It's just so funny. Cause this man is like hype beast galore. He's not a hype beast. He would be so, he would be so offended if he heard you say that he's not at all. Well, he's going to

wear a graphic with like a basketball player on it he might enjoy like a Travis Scott sneaker he might enjoy he wouldn't he wouldn't he's a New Balance sneaker okay maybe maybe he likes he just likes sports sports

But he's not a hype beast. I like tried to say that the other day and he really got sad. Anyway, that's all my information to offer. But like slowly putting him in hats with horses and shit on it is so fucking funny. That's what I see me with McCullough though. Like, you know what I mean? Like he's very like Hawaii button up and I'll be like, check out this diesel crew neck while I'm in a pepper crochet hat. Makes no sense. Well, I only got the horse things because we're going to the ranch tomorrow. That's cute. I can't have him wearing like a Lakers shirt at the ranch. Like he needs to have like a horse on his shirt. Yeah. Yeah.

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I'm at the point right now in life where you know how seriously I take Halloween and it is my favorite fucking holiday. I love a Tana Weave moment. I love going full out, but there's two factors here right now. Okay. Well, actually three factors. Whenever I do my Halloween all out, like it is expensive as fuck and it takes up all my time for the entire month. And I'm really busy right now. Let's talk about October being your worst month. Like, and it's just, it's photo shoots. It's full glam all day. Like I really commit to the bit to serve the

that I want to serve. And last year on November 1st, I, like the way I felt was like,

just like my skin was raw from the amount of glam and taking it off. Like my, my fucking scalp was bleeding from taking extensions in and out and putting wigs on. Like I had just spent like 20 grand on photo shoots that I'm doing all day, every day, exhausted. Also while going out to all the Halloween events and serving other looks like my ribs were like a little shifted from corsets. Right. And a part of me was like, Oh my God, I'm kind of making myself like hate my favorite holiday because of my desire to serve my desire to serve.

Is sucking the joy out of this for me, right? Yeah, I know. And also just like I have a boyfriend, like I have no desire to go out and like be slutty and hot and like be seen in that like way, obviously. Like I'm like fucking married. I've also done so much. Like I've done every fucking costume absolutely ever, right? And so this year I was kind of like, okay,

If I do it, I think I want to just be funnier with it. Like I've been every fuck, I've been Pamela Anderson at CVS at this point. Like I've been every Pamela down to like making up my own ones, right? Like a part of me is like me and Amari really want to be like Dr. Phil and Steve Harvey, right? Like a part of me really wants to like,

think outside the box. I want to be Trisha as King Tut really bad this year, like a bunch of shit like that. But then yesterday I posted a TikTok as, like I said, going through the house, I found a soap and loofah costume that I have had for five years now. And I was like, I need to throw this away. But before I do like McCohen, I should just put it on and like make a TikTok and fuck around. Right. Right. And then I post this TikTok and it's like, first of all, I forgot how much a struggling influencer I,

Can really just get their money up and not their funny up with Halloween engagement. You know? And all the comments just being like so excited for me to like do it. And now I'm like, fuck, like McCoy and I have to be Avatar. There's no choice. So I need. Oh, because of the Avatar porn. I was like, wait, why? Like I need. So now I need to find like.

A gay makeup artist at one of the WeHo bars who's willing to put special effects on my cooch, you know? Yeah, and you do want to be blue. Well, you could knock a couple things out. You could be a Smurf and Avatar, and you could just be blue the whole week. Imagine my skin was just like... What's that movie, Big Fat Wire? It's kind of fitting for us. Sorry again, Brie Tony. You could be Violet from Willy Wonka. You could really be a lot with just being blue. I'm trying to figure out if I want to go all in this year or not, and...

I don't know. I do think it'd be funny if we were Trishas. Like, if you were like, what's Trisha when she's, like, in the army? Yeah, I think she was in the military. I wanted to dress as Trisha in the military, like, helmet and all, like, laying in the sand. But I feel like that's, like, stolen valor, and I'm not really in that. Like, I feel like I should probably just avoid that right now. I guess there's a lot of other Trishas you could be to just not. Yeah, I'll be like...

Oh, I'll be Trish from the Eminem video. Oh, that's iconic. But then Trish is being Jessica Simpson in that. So it's like, am I being Trish as Jessica? Are you going to blonde wig it? I've never wigged it. I think you should wig it. I could wig it. I think my era of Halloween is like painting pumpkins and like cooking pumpkin things. That was my other point.

I'm doing sober October and also just sober forever. So it's like my desire to attend Halloween events and get the image it up and serve in that way and make TikToks with all the TikTokers who are, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know how much I have that in me. I'm very, you know, last year though, I stayed home on Halloween to hand out candy and I bought an entire box of king size chocolate bars because I've always wanted to be that person. And then not one child came to my house and like we had to eat them all.

We had to as crazy people.

Like, I don't think you had to, but I get how that could happen. That's so sad, actually. Isn't that really sad? But this is like a neighborhood that you would think that a lot of kids would go walking in. I know. It might be like the big scary security outside and like the big, big doors before my door. Yeah, well, I guess you, yeah, you can't just like, it's not, you don't just walk up to your front door. Maybe people did come and they were knocking on your gate. Yeah. I did go through and honestly, I thought about it myself. Like if I could disguise myself as a child because yesterday I did do a drive-by.

At the Menendez house. What?

Should we talk about the Menendez brothers? No but yeah That's what I was gonna say I was gonna say like That is like a neighborhood Where I would love to go trick-or-treating Because I'm like You know they're giving King size out Like everything Oh cause it's in Beverly Hills Yeah Absolutely It's all boarded up Like they have like a fence in front of it We just drove by it yesterday Cause it was like It's in Beverly Hills Yeah And it's in Yeah I mean I definitely wanna talk about it Cause I'm seeing a lot of different takes On the internet And I have a very hot take On this whole situation That I might get some hate on I don't know Uh oh

Give it to me and I'll let you know if you're completely wrong or not because I am so deeply invested. I've never, I have not consumed anything but Bonita's Brothers content for the past like... Same, honestly. I watched like 80% of the show. I was just kind of in and out. I started it on tour. Okay. I know there's a lot of people feel one way or the other about the show because of Ryan Murphy, the director, like they're saying that he might not have...

them as much justice as they deserve, et cetera. I think they even said that. Yes. One of the Menendez brothers also said his favorite movie is Zootopia. I really hope he gets to get out before Zootopia 2 comes out. They've been doing like group calls with like fans and I'm on that side of TikTok, like of the fans that like call them and then they like update their lore after they get off the phone or whatever. Okay. Anyways. And I've said this about Gypsy Rose. Not that they're the same situation, but like...

think killing someone if they are deeply abusing you and you are deeply trapped in that cycle of abuse is wrong no yeah you're on the right side here this is the this is the that's the popular opinion because it's like oh what like gypsy rose could have escaped they could have escaped okay put your

fucking situation and see if you can and like understand emotional abuse and financial abuse and all of these different tiers of abuse can trap people in ways that most of us couldn't even fathom what those parents did in my opinion the world is a better place without them like i'm so fucking sorry i agree that goes without being said but it's like it is so fucking like the difference between the two trials and everything it's so once you really really like look into it i watched the series but then i also watched like the documentary where you like see the real thing and

And it's so fucking horrible. But I honest to God, I think that like, say what you want about TikTok and like the new age and stuff. But like the fact like that is what is making everybody change their minds and stuff. You know what I mean? I fully agree. And resurfacing something like in any other world, like,

Without social media This probably would never Justice for them Would probably have never Resurfaced to such a Mass wide audience And be this talked about Right? Right I mean The trial also happened Before the Me Too movement So it was like Obviously People were way Yeah Way less Like First of all open Like to talk about Sexual abuse But also like

Believing men And their defense attorney Had just Gotten someone off For like a Murder or abuse Situation right before Their trial So then I think A lot of If I'm correct I think a lot of Their trial Was the other side Saying well she just Gets off killers Right Yeah And then that probably Suede the jury In a way that It wouldn't have All I fucking know Is if someone did Suicide

was doing that shit to me, like what their parents did to them or same with Gypsy Rose, wouldn't even just kill them. If I was going to, obviously you hope in every scenario that it can end with escaping or not taking a life or whatever, you hope that, right? But if you truly feel like in your world of abuse that the only way out or to protect yourself is to end that life, right? I'm just trying to put myself in their shoes.

I'd be playing a fucking game of saw with that, with the father. Do you know what I mean? It's like the toothbrushes and all the fucked, fucked, him losing his hair, like fucked up shit he was doing to them. He was essentially playing a game of saw with them for their entire lives. So where is it like? Well, they have done, in my opinion, they've like far surpassed like,

their time you know what i mean i feel like they can they have a hearing set for november i think oh i hope he gets to see zootopia i really think he will get to see zootopia honest to god because it's like i heard like i don't know i don't know how legally how that works like how you appeal that but i know kim kardashian's in there trying to do some work and i

Like I don't doubt That she can help I agree with that I don't know They didn't That's just my personal take The good that they have done Since they've been in prison Like far surpasses Like it's

I just saw a thing like there's and it's a whole list I saved it but like all the things that um Eric and Lyle have done like in prison to like help other people and help like other people who are sexually abused and like they've both graduated and then it's just like I don't know I want to meet them and I'm just like even just hearing that it's just so sad it's so sad like just like everything that they had to go through it's so sad but it's also very very happy because God like you know what I mean had people

people not taking so much interest in it now, they might have just...

Sat in prison forever, which I really highly doubt they will now. Yeah, I agree with that. That's my whole take. It's also really crazy to think about the connection between like OJ, the Menendez family, the Kardashians, like all of that isn't really... Did you get that? Yes. Yeah. Like Robert Shapiro being OJ's lawyer. And then... Yeah. And like OJ was in the cell directly next to Eric. Yeah. And so Eric was like giving him legal advice. And then I just saw a photo today of like OJ and I don't know why I'm blanking on the dad's name. He...

Who fucking cares? But... It's crazy. OJ and Jose Menendez? Yes. OJ and Jose Menendez with, like, another guy. They were, like... They had worked together in some capacity or, like, known each other. And, like, Eric used to, like, throw footballs with OJ in the backyard. And, like, it's actually crazy, the connection. And then for Kim Kardashian... Kim Kardashian... Beverly Hills. Kim Kardashian is...

like oj was like her godfather essentially and now she's it's just so interesting to me that this is like real life this isn't it is so fucking crazy that oj got out of jail yeah i don't know i like i honestly i'm not very educated on that trial at all but you should that's like a it's a crazy deep dive he like all i do though these days is watch like crime documentaries and and maybe this is a hot take like some people disagree but like oj fucking did that

Like, you know what I mean? So for him to get out is crazy. And like how like, you know about like the, if the glove fits, I acquit. I don't know anything about that. OJ in court when they were trying to like condemn him for killing whatever, one of the things that they were doing was seeing if a glove found on the scene that was allegedly used to like with the weapon fit OJ's hand and it didn't fit his hand. So then it was them saying essentially like this, it doesn't fit OJ. So he didn't do it. And that like was...

So viral. Let me stop talking. Yeah. I don't know anything about that, but that's my next thing to look into. But normalize not fucking talking about it if you don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, that's right. And OJ also wrote a book called If I Did It.

You should read that. Is he for real? Oh my God. There's like this clip of OJ, like after, like whatever, some interviewer comes to like interview him for like national television as well. It's not like this was like any other time. You know what I mean? Like a dateline or something. And the interviewer, the woman walks in and OJ just like as a joke is like, like scaring her. Like, do you know? Like it's... OJ. Yeah. I don't know if I feel, I definitely don't feel the same way about him as I feel about the Menendez brothers. No, not at all.

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Oh my god I wanted to show you Fashion Nova Halloween costumes so bad While we were talking about Halloween costumes Do you know what like Fashion Nova is out here doing? No but do I want to know? I think you might need to know Like it's just so funny to me Okay what's going on? It's nothing in like specifics Oscar can you pull up the Fashion Nova website please?

And I might have to get into this lore. Listen to me, because it is just cracking me up. Okay, so it's like hundreds of costumes like this. And I'm just... Imagine being the model and you just show up this day. Full beat. For an e-com job. Full beat. And they're like, here you are. You're going to be a receipt. Sriracha. A CVS receipt. The long CVS receipt. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Keep scrolling. Wait, but I'm going to hit some of these and surprise...

all my corona oh the bag of the hot dogs is hilarious okay this first of all pumpkin pie spice chili powder like do we do we need multiple seasonings yeah yeah why did the kool-aid man they made that poor man run through a set wall like that look at the fireball not atm like does that have one sale you should get that to be honest i

holy shit literally like actually that is actually what that is look at her serving face in her holy shit costume come on there's hot shit too oh and the guy in the wiener costume and just like 99 wait 99 bananas alcohol needed a costume obsessed with the stanley cup though sugar daddy that's insane wait this is crazy i'm loving it

craft singles i want it i need it i actually need it i love cheese okay that was i just really like i was looking for costumes obviously and i'm just imagining these models showing up like full fucking beat and they're like craft singles i always think about that like people who like are seriously actors or something and then they book a job and it's like hemorrhoid cream commercial and it's like same energy as fuck you know

I would do it though. Have you ever had a hemorrhoid? Yeah, it's just from when you push too hard, but we can't go down this rabbit hole. I'm sorry. We're not allowed. We're actually not allowed. I'm sorry. Okay, I want to talk about Beyonce. It's our 100th episode. We forgot to thank Beyonce. I don't, can you? Okay, Beyonce, thank you. No, I have the worst news. I have the worst news. Okay. I've been getting comments.

Explaining to me that I'm getting a little too millennial these days That's actually funny you say that Because Paige has been telling me I'm such a fucking millennial But you're not

- I'm on the cusp. - Okay. - Okay, because millennials starts in 90s, like it's 97 on, but like Gen Z goes all the way through 96 to my knowledge. So I think, or wait, I just did the opposite, but you know what I mean? Gen Z, anyway, I'm at the end of 1996. So I am literally at the very cusp of Gen Z and millennial. So I am technically, I guess a millennial. Point is I don't fucking know what this Beyonce stuff is.

Well, I feel you completely on the millennial shit. I've been walking around saying like, I was today years old and like Paige won't stop with me. She's like, get a mustache on your finger. Like, but first coffee, like, come on. Like she won't stop cooking me. So I feel you. I felt the same way about the Beyonce thing. Actually, it's funny because I saw it and I wasn't getting it. And then I got livid. I was like, this is right after Paige called me a millennial. And I was like, what the fuck?

Like so then I went down the rabbit hole right And I actually have some notes okay And this is one that you have to do your research on But you need to trust me with the things I'm saying to you right now Like I need you to believe everything I'm saying wholeheartedly Okay because it's true It's hard to do Okay okay Okay sorry I had to throw that one in there Yeah you know what Brittany Furland didn't say I made shit up okay Pipe it Tana Okay so

oh my god there's so much okay but if you look back at the history of like all award shows ever every time any celebrity wins an award uh taylor swift a i just saw a clip of kelsey ballerini doing it there's a clip of britney spears doing it there's a clip of and i mean hundreds of people adele every time she wins an award everyone in their speech

Out the nowhere They are thinking Beyonce I do know that much But I've never thought Anything of it Because Beyonce's the goat Right Okay but But nobody's thinking Taylor Swift like that And that's who we And it gets to the point Where it's like In Britney Spears one You can see that She is clearly reading Off of a teleprompter That like she does Like clearly It's like

Adele's done it like five times now. Anytime anyone is in an award category next to Beyonce and they win, you see their fear. Do you know what I mean? And they go up and they have to thank Beyonce. And now there's this whole theory as well. Obviously so many people now throughout all of this diddy shit are saying that Kanye has been right about a lot of shit that he was saying that everyone was calling him crazy. There's like a million instances, right?

But then people are now saying that when Kanye went up there and interrupted Taylor Swift,

Because he said Beyonce had one of the greatest albums of all time That's what he interrupted her to say That he was like saving her essentially And then J. Cole has this song She Knows And you need to listen to like the lyrics of this fucking song Is that the ones like she knows And everyone's saying like he's saying Knowles kind of like Beyonce And like But are we venturing into like conspiracy theory We are Territory

There's also a lot about how he's saying rest in peace to Aaliyah, rest in peace to left eye. Like there's a lot of stuff where like people are saying that Aaliyah, that Beyonce and Jay-Z might know a little more about Aaliyah's death than they lead on in like clips of Beyonce interviews the day Aaliyah died. And just like, it's weird. It's really, it's all weird.

Really really I agree that it's weird But I just don't want to like I get scared with like The conspiracy stuff Because it's like Are we just Actually crazy and reaching But I did I also saw something Of someone being like Imagine being Beyonce And working your whole entire life And being like One of the most successful And talented people alive And then everybody Makes it into like A conspiracy You're right And you do You do have a point there I mean and again There's a million things To this as well Like people saying Wendy Williams is crazy And now like Wendy Williams Being like Do you know who's Jealous of Beyonce?

Like all this Like weird Whatever I don't know There's a million more things That add to this But obviously people have Always said That Beyonce and Jay Z Are the Illuminati Or are whatever And honestly In my opinion There is no way That they have Zero involvement In this

She didn't know. She knows about like the Diddy shit. You know what I mean? And now that J. Cole song is also taken off of the internet completely. Like it's not on YouTube anymore. It's not on. Same with Kanye West's Famous. Like everyone's saying like, I made that bitch famous. Obviously it's about Taylor, but everyone's saying that he's saying that because he saved her by saying that.

Like, do you get what I'm saying? Here's what I'll say about this theory is that if this were all the case, I feel like Kanye would have straight up like got on the mic like this and already told us all. That's fair. I guess that is fair. But also even the famous music video is this giant big bed with all these celebrities that look like Taylor and look like a bunch of really fucking famous people. And then people...

Went in to compare that To Diddy's actual giant bed That he had in the backyard And like Have a hit put out on him Which we know Diddy was doing Or It can be assumed If Eminem says it I believe it I am such a conspiracy ass bitch Like I will believe A conspiracy theory If I rabbit hole And like a part of me Doesn't

I like I think this Beyonce shit might be true I think it's definitely possible And so that being said Thank you Beyonce Yeah that's really Because the canceled podcast Would not be possible without her Like 100% But I am afraid of conspiracies Because I am Sometimes I see I look at myself in the mirror And I think I see my mother And it scares me

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- We both had our hometown shows. Should we talk about that? - Yeah, I'm down. - We had our hometown shows. - They're like, "Y'all are more reserved." We're like, "No, we're not." We had our hometown shows. They were amazing. Obviously, I was just so excited to do that. - It was so much fun. I weirdly had more fun at your hometown show than mine. - Really?

just because it's Vegas and it's like fabulous and we had the big billboards and it was just like it was like dude seeing a billboard of us on the Vegas strip had me so fucking out of body and emotional because like I've stood under that billboard you know what I mean just like with nothing to my name and like right I was banned from the hotel that we had our show at that's what it was I feel like it was just it felt like such a full circle moment and like obviously it's your hometown so it's like dumb but I swear I used to

Every single weekend, me and Nana, my best friend, would drive to Vegas every single weekend of college. I'm not kidding, to go see fucking like Marshmallow or Chainsmokers or whoever it is. So on my flight to... I had come home to...

Or I stayed in Phoenix An extra day So I flew separately To Vegas On my flight Is Alesso and the Chainsmokers Okay And we're flying We're all flying to Vegas For our shows now And I'm thinking about And me and you Are on the billboards now And I have a show On the stage That we saw Adam Sandler at And I felt like So fabulous Because I'm like This is the

craziest like turn of events it was like just the craziest full circle moment and obviously having a green room of like all the people who loved you and supported you before you had anything to offer them is like the most special thing in the world that was such a hard night for me to stay sober because like oh my god everyone's just celebrating so hard for the both of us yes i did at the hands of all of your friends thank you very much and i was not okay it's so funny to the

In our hometown friend groups Like There are similarities Don't get me wrong But the bulk Of your hometown friends Are very much Like sorority girls Like Oh those are my college friends But then my high school friends Are like way more Like your friends No but still But still Like Like

They're all very sweet So forgive me But if I just looked at them They're the archetype To like call you fat In high school Okay like they are like Motherfucking sorority bitches Well cause before I was a sorority girl I was a palmy And so that was just like That It was like the general nature Of like the people I was around Yeah and my friends are like Trappers But I also had that They just Like weren't

At the shows I definitely invited everyone But then you see My family Yeah Came And that made up for that Definitely 100% Your family's so fucking fun though It was Bullshits were so fucking fun Back to back And I had a great time in Vegas The next couple days I need to tell you about A story Like something that happened To me in Vegas So

So I stayed, obviously I've been like touring houses and doing whatever and just hanging out with everyone. I stayed a couple of days in Vegas. So I had this night, like a couple of days after the show where I was gambling like late with all of my friends. Right. And eventually it's like 5am and I'm like about to leave gambling. And Ray, my security guard, he goes, he had to like check his gun at like

The gun check? You have to go early if you have to... Or, like, to declare a weapon at the airport. Yes, so eventually when the night was over, obviously, in the whatever Vegas hotel we were at, he had to go back and, like, get his gun from the gun check. And so he leaves me for, like, 10, 15 minutes, right? Oh, wait, this isn't at the airport. This is...

Where? In your hotel? Yes. Like, cause if you want to go to the Vegas clubs, you can't bring in a gun. So like we went to the club and he checked his gun and then we went. So literally like a coat check for your guy. Yes. Which I didn't know existed, but obviously it did. And so we're about to leave. I ordered the Uber and I'm like,

Ray leaves me to go get his gun for like 15 minutes. This is the first 15 minutes. I also haven't been without a security guard in three weeks. Like, you know what I mean? Just he is, his only job is to ensure that I am safe entirely across tour. Right. And he leaves and I go to the bathroom and I have three back-to-back interactions in the only time with, because obviously with a security guard, obviously he's everyone who's coming up to me. He's ensuring that they are within normal bounds, right? They're not doing shit to me that,

Isn't okay. Right? And so, there was this girl. And bless her heart. But she had kind of been like following me all weekend. Like...

A lot of people who know what I do in Vegas, like people who really keep up with my stories, like know where I like to gamble at, like know where I'm going to go to the club at like that. Like a lot of times when they'll come up to me and I'm gambling at the spot that I like to gamble at, they'll be like, I always watch your stories and I knew you'd be here. So I came here to look for you. Right. And so she was one of those a couple nights before. Right. And then the next I was there a couple nights in a row. So she just kept coming back with her boyfriend. And obviously, like she went to the show, too. So I was very like

The first night we really hung out. We took photos. We did our thing. Second night, same thing. Third night, same thing. She like comes up and then I kind of noticed that she's like following Makoa around and just like cornering him to like talk his ear off and kind of like, and Makoa is very sweet. She's overdoing it. But after like an hour and a half of watching Makoa in the corner with this girl, first of all, I'm like, are you going to fuck him? Like your boyfriend's fucking, forgive me. And whatever. So.

Finally, the night is over. Ray is going to get his gun and I go into the bathroom and I'm walking in and J-Rod and McCoy are outside of the bathroom and I hear them and they're like, hey, whoa, whatever. And she's following me into the bathroom, right? And then she tries to go in the stall with me. Oh.

And it like scares the fuck out of me Cause it's just like 5am It's no longer the weekend There's no people around And I like scream right And then I don't know what to say to her Cause it's like obviously people should just know That's not okay And you don't want to be mean to somebody that you think is a fan But also like what do you mean So I scream at the top of my lungs This is the first thing that I think to say I'm pee shy I'm pee shy

I screamed this at this girl. And then she like runs away and security comes and gets her and it's this weird ass interaction, right? And so then I'm walking out of the bathroom and I'm like, that just would happen right now while Ray's not here. Like how funny, like whatever, blah, blah, blah. Well, yeah, but yeah. And this, so then as I'm walking away thinking that this guy comes up to me, right?

And he's about to go into the bathroom and he's like, Tana. Right. And I look at him and I'm like, how the fuck do I know this guy? And he's like, Tana, what's up? And his demeanor isn't like overly friendly. Right. It's kind of like Tana, what's up? Right. And I'm like, I'm looking at this guy and I'm like, how the fuck do I know this guy? Right. And I'm like, oh, my God, it's Monty Lopez. Right. Right.

And there is a point with the podcast and just my internet presence where there are certain people that I have talked so much shit about that when I see them...

I'm not going to waste either one of our time. And I'm not going to lie to your face. If I've, if I've called you like a deadbeat, embarrassing father on the internet who like needs his phone taken away in a lobotomy and a muzzle, I'm not about to be like, what up? Dap me. Right? Like, you know what I mean? How are you? I'm sorry. I think people also, this has happened to me a lot with people that I have talked shit about. They think that if, when they come up to me in person, like Tana, what up? You're going to be super nice. They think that I'm not going to hold the same energy that I've held online. And I am so far from the opposite. Like I'm,

You know what I mean? Yeah. So I look at him and he's just standing there in silence. Right. And I'm like thinking about what I'm about to say. I'm trying to figure it out. Makoa and J-Rod obviously do not know who this is, like what's going on, whatever. Right. And I look at him and I'm like, listen, I said what I fucking said, dude. Everything I said, like I stand on it. I said what I fucking said. And I'm like being a bitch about it. Right. And he looks at me and he's like, and I'm like, he didn't know. It's not Monty Lopez. It's a guy who looks just like him. It's a random guy in Vegas. I just.

I'm at his neck so hard. So then imagine me trying to backtrack that. I'm like, I'm sorry, dude. You look just like Monty Lopez. He's like, who the fuck is that? And I'm just standing there, right? And now at this point, I'm like, can my bodyguard please come back? Like, this is just, do you know what I mean? Absolutely. So I'm walking now to meet Ray at the gun check because I'm like, I need not one more unsupervised minute alone. Obviously, Makoa and J-Rod aren't going to let anything like awful happen to me, but it's like,

I need a real barrier between me and the public. Yeah, someone you can blame. You know what I mean? Like they can be the bad guy. Uh-huh. Third guy comes up to me as I'm walking out. Okay. Third fucking person. And this is one of those, I talked about this in our Hawaii episode for a second. I am never, ever mad at a true, genuine fan or supporter, no matter their demeanor. Do I? Is it sometimes?

A little zoo animal-y for someone to just walk directly up to you with a phone and say absolutely nothing. Yes. Okay. But if it's a girl or a gay or a they, I'm going to pose for the photo. And you know what I mean? Like I understand and I'm fine with it. Right. But when it's a straight man and just the amount of straight men that I've had come up to me, say the craziest shit about OnlyFans, say the craziest shit about

Cody Cole barking at me, whatever it is. Like, I'm automatically more fucking pissed at a phone immediately in my face when it's a straight man. Right? This man takes out his phone, starts filming, and selfie, like, immediately in my face. And he goes, where's Jake Paul? First of all... Boo. I just don't know what...

5am in Las Vegas Do you think I have a GoPro On the beach in Puerto Rico I don't fucking know Okay I don't fucking know Also when's the last time We've even seen Jake Paul in the flesh Oh my god Last time I've seen him I don't fucking know Right And I understand That I'm like Probably forever Gonna be tied to him In some people's minds This Peppa hat I'm so embarrassed Um

And then so then I'm looking at him and I literally I'm just fed up. OK, three is the rule. You know, I have the third person. Yeah. First person, second person, third person. I'm like, dude, I don't fucking know. It's fucking five a.m. in Las Vegas. Do you think I genuinely know where Jake Paul is? And then he starts telling me he was like, no, I'm just a really big Jake Pauler. Like, I love the diss track. Like, he wasn't really being an asshole. So then I felt bad. And we were just talking about Alyssa Violet and whatever. And it ended up being fine. But I just needed to tell you about that.

Well... The Monty Lopez one was just crazy. Yeah, that's where I would usually tell you just like go to bed. You gotta go to bed. You gotta call it at some point. So funny how opposite you and I are with like... We each were assigned a security guard this tour that was like... They were like contractually obligated to stay with us and keep eyes on us at all times. Which I love. To you is like the best thing ever to me is like... I was like absolutely not. Like literally I felt...

And I was like sneaking around. I felt like Justin Bieber, like hiding from his bodyguard. But it's also like, I'm not Justin Bieber. Like I'm, I'm, there's no real reason for me to have a bodyguard in urban outfitters. You know what I mean? The way that you would need one. Like, so I loved him so much and he's such a sweetie, but I was literally like, this is so overkill. I am just the exact opposite. I'm so fucking paranoid. And I do think that when it comes to like parasocial things,

I might have it a little different than you. Like people really do come up to me and do and say crazy shit. Yeah, I don't have those experiences like literally at all. I had like one time where I was like, oh my God, this is too much. And it was only because I like literally went to basically TanaCon. That was a Tate McCray concert. Yeah, I'm just, people will come up to me and like grab my tits and ask where Jake Paul is or talk to me about beef or go try to go in the bathroom stalls with me. I don't know what it is, but...

- Yeah. - I wouldn't even try to go in the bathroom stall with you. - Yeah, what do you think you're gonna see? Girl, I'm about to shit water. The fuck, it's 5:00 a.m., I've been drinking Red Bull. - You didn't wish Murphy a happy birthday. - Oh my God, oh my God. Making sure, I've already started preparing for your birthday. I hope you know, I hope you know, I love you so goddamn much.

And you can easily put this right back on me, but the perpetual anxiety I will have for the rest of my life about ensuring that not only to you, I make sure you feel seen and heard on your birthday or at least around your birthday slash the world perceiving it as such, which you play a part in. That was just factual information that they did with what they will, okay? They took in the facts and they formed an opinion and that was- You were commenting red hearts on like-

Like there was a video where the fan was like, like it was a fan edit that was like, they just don't care about Brooke's birthday. It's on Thanksgiving. And you comment, you comment a red heart on the video. You said, let me feed into this narrative. I'm going to get a Bronco. Well, first of all, I didn't know about the Bronco yet. So yes, I was like, oh my God, here my, here my friend is about to miss my birthday for the seventh year in a row. And it is true. That did happen. I've never missed it. Like.

Like I'm always going to wish you a happy birthday and I'm down to celebrate. But if I'm going to be in town is always up for debate.

Due to when it falls. Well, it is not always on Thanksgiving. Sometimes it is so much as a week away from Thanksgiving. And it historically has not almost ever been on Thanksgiving since I've known you. But that's not important because I already made a promise to you that I was never going to talk shit about my birthday ever again. It is two days before Thanksgiving this year. So yes, you do have some leeway to miss my birthday, but don't worry. But I've already started preparing. Don't you worry. It doesn't even matter. I just Googled your birthday to make sure it was right before I said something. I was about to be like...

What photo comes up with me slaying at the Celsius event? Oh my God. That's so funny. People also search for Clinton Cain birthday. Um, you know, we have the same exact birthday. Oh, that's weird. That is really fucking weird. Yeah. I'm already preparing for your birthday though. Don't worry. What do you want to do? Probably a ranch moment. I'm having a ranch birthday. Very cute. I hope. Are you going to have it on your birthday? No, I'm going to have it the weekend before. Oh my God. Oh my God.

all is well all is right in the world and i'm gonna drive my car there so honestly you don't even have to go no i'm gonna come i'm just kidding i'm very i would love for you to be there i wouldn't miss it for the fucking world slut okay anyway murphy's birthday just passed she's three happy birthday murphy um sound off in the comments yeah i was just um

I felt it. I woke up on Murphy's birthday and I was like, wow, today is a special day. I have no idea when it was. I don't know when it was either because I only like when I got her, I knew she was seven months old. So I just know her birthday is in October. So I just have assumed it's already happened. Also today, Mouse weighed in at a good cool eight and a half pounds, which means he has gained twice or like he's doubled in weight since I got him.

I know everybody was dying to know. Kanye and Bianca are getting divorced.

Good. I'm like, somebody let her put her clothes back on. I know he was putting her in those outfits and I just didn't know she didn't want to be fucking barefoot at Disneyland. I just know that she didn't. And I'm all about autonomy. And I think I would like to think that she made those decisions on her own, but I don't think that she did. I mean, obviously you have to be a little stylistically insane and daring to maybe have that in common with Kanye, or at least you would think. But then I read Julia Fox's book.

And every single person on planet Earth needs to go read that shit. It is one of the most interesting. I did the audio book. I bought the book and I started reading it. And then I was like, wait, I want to hear Julia Fox's voice as I fall asleep. I know, and the way she tells it, I kept hearing it from your bunk. And by bunk, I mean bedroom. Paid for it, Redditors. I know, I think I'm going to pay for it next time, to be honest. We might have to go City Girls, separate buses. Wait, what are we? No, but...

obviously julia's book is so good it's insane like one minute it's like the most emotional thing about someone that she loved and lost in the next minute it's like heroin needle up my ass cocaine off the floor kanye west is dressing me so iconic but that does lead me to believe that bianca was being dressed against her own will from julia's um well yeah did you see her at star wars land isn't it kind of funny though that pete davidson i gotta stop peppa hat jesus fuck has the funniest opportunity in the world

Like if he goes and dates her. Like that is the, I really like, I'm. Who is Pete Davidson dating right now? Is he not dating Madeline Klein? No, they are not still together. So who is dating Pete Davidson and where are they? Remember when you wanted to start a segment called we show TikToks to each other and we see what your opinion is? Yes. This one's not that important. Don't get too excited. But I saw this this morning and it says Victorian slang that should make a comeback. Okay. Okay.

Coffee sisters. Why don't you guess? I'm going to have you guess what these things mean. Coffee sisters. Coffee sisters. See, why does everything in my brain? That's my coffee sister. Why does everything in my brain immediately go to shitting? Like they're on, they drink their coffee. They're on the same cycle. They are best friends. Thank you. Okay. Um, I'm half rat. Literally just me. Like I am half rat. I just found my rat mask. Oh my God. Can you hold on one second? Please. It's really important to me. It means a bit drunk.

Oh, so literally me. So here's my new thing. I have a theory with this rat mask. For audio listeners, my friend just turned into a rat. I've always been a rat if you really think about it. A more obvious rat. This could be our new like safety helmet. Like if we're talking about someone, but we don't want to be clipped with our face.

Like I could be like, like if we were just talking about Pete Davidson, like I could put this on. Do you know what I mean? So it's like. And he just has no idea that it's you. Can you see my eyes through this? I can see one of your eyes, but I can also see that you're wearing a pod or a canceled podcast crew neck, which kind of gives it away. Oh, shit.

Okay, now you're the stealthiest ever. You honestly tell me your biggest, deepest, darkest secret. But like, imagine. Wait, we should make a segment called ratting someone out. Oh my God, stop. And we're dressed as rats and we say something like super that we're not supposed to say online. Wait, I'm obsessed with this. Like, I could just say like celebrities that are on Ozempic. And we know all of them. Okay, on a serious note though. Are you sure?

I was gonna go on this whole tangent about sober October, 'cause this is gonna be my first time ever being sober on Halloween, 'cause I always usually will go sober up until it. So this is gonna be my first sober Halloween.

Which I'm really excited about. I think if anyone out there is feeling inspired to do a Sober October, you should try it. Like, I was thinking about it, and originally I thought it'd be kind of hard, you know what I mean? But then I was thinking, like, I did Coachella Sober. Like, if I could do Coachella Sober, like... You could definitely do October Sober. Yeah, and I feel like for a while it was like... It is so hard to be in an environment with, like, everyone else drunk and, like, partying, but...

I don't know. I just want people to know that I am doing it and I'm excited to see if anyone else is going to do it too. And if you've ever felt like doing that, I feel like even with Coachella, it was just like, I was really scared to do that sober and be around everyone else who was like clearly fucked up and like, you know what I mean? But like, if I can do that, I can do anything. And I still had a great time. I think that's the thing is like, you always fear that you're not going to have a good time anyways. Like I had a great fucking time at Coachella sober.

I'm not. Like, you're so serious right now, and I'm trying to take you seriously, but I'm looking at a rat. My hair is fucking in it. But I am really happy that you had a good time, and I feel like every time you go sober, you have that same realization, but then there's just a little slippery slope. I know. That's the thing, because it's like...

I also just like forgot the high of being sober. Like obviously, especially if you're drinking a lot, like the first couple of weeks of going sober, and this is not medical advice, obviously if you're like need to medically withdraw or anything like that, that's not what I'm saying. But the first couple of weeks of not drinking are always like very difficult because you just have a lot of anxiety and insomnia and like,

Feels like it's never gonna end and like you are just thinking about how much you want alcohol a lot more but then I like completely forgot like the high of being sober once that subsides. Like once I hit week three every single time I feel unstoppable.

I feel like fucking superwoman. I get everything done. I make no mistakes. I just feel like you don't realize the effects that alcohol has on your body if you're drinking it all the time. Like you don't realize how shitty you feel. It's like, you know how people always say like working out makes you feel good and everyone's like, ah, please. But then like you start working out and you actually feel so good. That is like really like I'm finally hitting that point in sobriety again where I'm like, oh my God, why would I ever drink? Like even just looking back at the past few months, like I had so much fun and it was fun.

But like just the downfalls of it. Like I've been more productive in this past week than I have since I stopped drinking. Like, like, you know what I mean? Like the last time I was this productive was the last time I was sober. Like it is just fucking crazy. And to just like, well, I'm proud of you. And I feel like October is perfect. Cause then it goes straight into the new year. And I feel like new year, new Tana. 100%. I just have like, I have, I'm so in a place I got to stop with the fucking rat. Well,

Oh, I didn't even notice you were wearing it still. I just feel like I'm in a place right now where obviously I'm always talking about my frontal lobe fully developing, but like it is just, I feel like such a...

I'm really about to start adulting. Do you know what I'm going to do? Is my step one in my really big major adult major adulting plan. Buy a house. Well, yes, but... Learning to drive. I'm about to go to driving school. Oh my God. I'm so excited for you. And it's never too late. Well, I told you that last time I tried to go to driving school, it was on Zoom. And bless his heart, wherever you are, Roy, like... It's kind of funny, like Zoom. Yeah.

Sorry. But it's just like looking back now, like that driving instructor was definitely on meth. He was just in the middle of nowhere and he would like add his Zoom backgrounds and then everything was like a Star Wars reference. Like I would be like, what does yield mean? And he'd be like, well, in, you know,

Three of war To the Jedi They had to yield I remember you Telling me this Like he probably Thought he was making It more understandable To you But really he was Like speaking And I kept telling him Like hey I have ADHD Like I'm very Like concise Layman's terms please Yes You should see my I just found my old Driving notes like

downstairs and you should see how fucking stupid they were like it's insane you should just start when like when page is driving you around town you should just have her start like walking you through it did you ever have to do the exercise in school where you um teach somebody to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich oh no but you've kind of told me about this right like it's as if you're teaching an alien yeah like you're you're supposed to write down like how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and like your normal thought would be like get the bread and

Spread the peanut butter Spread the jelly Close the sandwich But it's like You have hands Like yeah Like you have to explain Every single little detail You should have Paige Start doing that to you But like with driving Like right now I am letting Letting off a little bit You can't You know what I mean Like little things You don't think about Like

Maybe you could teach me to drive and it's a series. I think it would be so much fun. We should do it for Patreon. We always talk on this podcast about like the Hollywoodification of things. And like I today went on a deep dive of like how celebrities handled the DMV. And like I am about to be...

Kim K With all of this Like I'm getting Like a fucking Driving instructor Of the stars Like I'm gonna rent A really nice car To do it in Like I have a DMV Fast pass I'm done Imagine like a Lambo truck With like student driver On the back That's exactly What I'm fucking saying I'm not even kidding I went to the fucking DMV To take my driving test The written driving test Like eight months ago Right And

Such a champagne problem All of this Obviously I understand The DMV All of America Is annoyed at Like I'm I understand Nobody wants to be Nobody wants to go To the fucking DMV Right But

We call, we make an appointment for me to take the written test. Right. And my appointment is at like five 30. Right. I show up on time prompt as a bitch. Okay. Like I was there at like five o'clock. Right. I'm checking out the architecture. I'm fucking wrapping around the building. You know what I mean? I'm Uber eating there. Like I'm, I'm moved in. I'm here. I'm here on time.

And I get there and then they tell me that like walk-ins are also accepted. So even though I have an appointment, I now have to wait for all of these walk-ins to take the test. And then by the time the walk-ins take the test, the DMV is closed. So what the fuck is the point of making an appointment at five fucking 30? I walked in, I waited all the way until they closed. The walk-ins went before me and then I left. And I just came to the realization that like, if I can use my Hollywood privileges to fast pass the airport and fast pass all these other things, like,

I want to go to the DMV like I'm Christina Aguilera. Yeah, although I didn't even know you could make an appointment at the DMV, which I feel like a lot of people don't. Usually you just do that thing where you like pull the little number and then you have it and then you wait for it to show up on the screen. Anyway, it's been years since I've gone to the DMV. But pro tip, Trisha Paytas taught me this. Go to the DMV in Woodland Hills. I did. I did.

I did. Oh. I did. And I watched other people take their numbers and I think I took a number. Like, I just, I might as well have sat there with my fucking thumb up my ass. I was so discouraged. And, like, by the time I left, I forgot everything I needed for the test. Which maybe means I shouldn't be doing it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's like how I used to cram for my chem exams and then forget everything immediately after. And it would like each exam, like you would get, you would need like the material from the last one. Like it added on to itself. Doesn't matter. Anyway, do you know the best thing about me? It's that I have an Arizona driver's license and my, for some reason in Arizona, they like last forever. My learner's permit photo is on my driver's license and it expires in the year 2069. Oh, cause Arizona does that.

That's honestly so... I'm so excited for all my shit to expire, though. Like, my photos are just... My passport photo. Well, I'm... First of all, I lost my license. You what? I, like, misplaced my license, like, over a year ago. So I just, like, go everywhere with my passport. But...

I probably shouldn't say that. That's like illegal to drive. When I went and took my passport photo, this was at a time of my life where I was just, I didn't have anything figured out yet. This was right. I was like, Jordan was starting to kind of step in and be like, oh, no one raised you. I need to teach you like the basics of life. And even just this, like I was leaving on tour to Australia in like a week and a half. And I decided like, oh, now I need to get a passport. What?

You've sold out shows in Australia and they're in 10 days and you don't have a passport. What? So I find the same day company and I fly here and I go and I take my passport photo before my tour photo shoot. Okay, I'm gonna insert my passport photo. Denim choker. Denim, big fat denim choker. Okay. Wait, I'm surprised they even let you keep that on. You know what's sad as fuck too? And Isabella, she's such a real one because one thing about her is she can

always say I told you so like she's so fucking honest like I remember that day she's like why the fuck are you gonna take this passport photo with a big fat denim choker on and I was like what do you mean I look so slay and it's like now and it's I just got in the nose job too I might as well have had a spoon on my face like it's just it's I don't think like I don't think they would

Would have allowed me to wear Granted this was also like A literal like I don't even There's a part of me that thinks my passport is fake Like I got it in like a scary Ass office downtown I got mine in a hoodie area too I had to go to the same day Passport office in San Diego And like you have to have like extreme circumstances To get it there's like only like certain things That like can happen for you to do it And that's how I got mine But it was my first passport I got at age 26

I still haven't left America except for to go to Canada. You know, more dumb things. Do you know more dumb things that I've done that I've been thinking about recently? This one's really getting me. Ashley and I were in tears last night. I've been seeing clips of

of Buzz Aminjin resurfacing because he was Justin Bieber's life coach. And obviously during all this diddy stuff, like clips of Justin Bieber being vulnerable or intimate about his mental health are going viral. So I've been seeing this man all over my For You page. And for those of you who don't know, there was a point in my life where I was just at a very, very, very low place in life all around. Like I thought I was going to die and I wanted to die. I didn't have anything figured out.

So I eventually decided I want a life coach. And I watched Justin Bieber's documentary. I think it's called Journals and it's on YouTube. And it's the first time where he ever talks about his Lyme disease, his relationship with Haley, like just his mental health, whatever. And in this series, he had a life coach named Buzz Minchin. And I see this man and I'm like, oh my God, that's what I need. Like everything he was like saying in the show felt like things that...

Not that I'm Justin Bieber, but just different things about cortisol levels rising during like high highs and low lows and fame and whatever. Like I felt like a lot of those things were things I needed to like work through. And so I was like, this man's literally helping Bieber work through it. Like if he can help me, that's amazing. Right. And so I reach out to him and I think I'm just going to get ghosted. And like he emails me back immediately. I start meeting with him. And looking back now, I see that like, I think he...

Is and was a professional At what he did But I think he was like Oh like rich YouTube Idiot Cha-ching Right I was told that he had Zero credentials To be giving any sort of like Psychiatric advice Or therapy Or anything of the sort But then how did he ever Help Bieber I think he was just It was like It was like a trust me bro $60,000 a month

$60,000 a month. That itself means you need a life coach. Or honestly, more so maybe a business advisor. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And your manager allowed you to do that at the time? I think at first he was on board and then it got so far that I was kind of like believing it. I remember because it was like...

Not at the start of our friendship, but it was like pretty early on in our friendship. And I remember like your to-do list was like take fish oil and be 12. And like you were paying him $60,000 a month. And don't get me wrong. He did teach me a lot of things.

That like I still use to this day. And like, I think work, but like one Google search away. TikTok. One Google search away. There are people dedicated to that on TikTok. Wait, also, I'm sorry. Wait, keep going because then I want to talk about something else.

Completely not related to that You can go ahead Did TikTok add a stem part to your thing Or do they think I'm a fucking idiot That's always been on my thing So I might be the OG idiot Oh okay I was just wondering Because I just now got the stem tab And I was like Well at first I thought it was my FYP And I'm like damn Like what have I been watching For me to get like literal stoichiometry On my For You page What the fuck is stoichiometry Stoichiometry is um Math in chemistry That made me mad

Do you That's how I know I'm fucking stupid It's cause whenever my phone Accidentally goes to the stem tab Sometimes I'll scroll three times And I'm like Fuck this No honestly It's all like really complicated And I'm like Could you not start me out easy Like maybe cross cancellation Or something Like they're starting me out With like some really hard shit And I'm like Now I'm never coming back here Ever That's your fault What side of TikTok Are you on right now

What? Let me see what I have saved. Mine's only Menendez Brothers and Mudang. Which I just found out today. I heard it was actually Mudang. People are being slutty Mudang for Halloween. No, that's just wrong. You should do it. I saw one today. I swear to God, it's like a slutty hippo in a tutu. And I really think if anyone can do it, it's you. You know, that's what my new sneaky link is calling me. He's calling me Mudang and big fatty. What do you mean sneaky link? I know. I don't know why. He's my boyfriend. What the literal fuck?

He's calling me mudang And he's calling me big fatty I think you need to be slutty mudang Like it's just like If I were you I would do that 100% No I feel like that First of all mudang is underage So Speaking of that Am I now allowed to be Jojo Siwa? Or is it just like don't do it? I think you should be

I think construction vest karma Jojo Siwon yes I think we could be that but I feel like I mean I feel like maybe let her rest and like someone else she's actually she's been being so funny lately you saw she thanked Beyonce right and it is hilarious that's the thing I was like laughing along with the public but I like I've always respected her hustle okay but especially because she knows what she's doing I want to be careful what I say though because sometimes I'm like no I go let me go on record and say I've always loved her

But then, you know, like people, we have like a digital footprint and like the cut to a clip where I'm like, yeah, I hate that bitch or something. Like, I'm really afraid of that these days because I just saw a side by side of Brianna Chicken Fry saying two completely different things. We've definitely said a lot of two completely different things. Okay. I want to talk about this for a second. I've talked about this on all social media platforms.

But I have got to get to the bottom of this because it is fucking plaguing me. Every single October, come October 1st, I'm going to open my story tags or now I'm going to see a TikTok viral as fuck about this. Okay? Every single year, come hell or high water, this costume. It's so weird, Tana, because that is you. That is literally me. I will insert it.

I want to find the real bitch. I want to find this bitch so fucking bad. Like essentially it's a spirit Halloween model. She's on the cover of a Sally costume. People obviously go to spirit. They try to buy their costumes, whatever. And I get tagged in this because they see it. And they're like, Tana, oh my God. And it's so on brand for me. Like just with all my side quests in life, I've lived. If I was like, yeah,

for six months i was a spirit halloween stock model you would believe it wholeheartedly people truly believe this is me like that was you once upon a time i never did this just going on record to say this is not me but this woman looks so much like me it is genuinely concerning it's actually really crazy so then i tweeted about it as well and i kind of was trying to get the twitter warriors to help me out a little bit

And like no one can find out who. Like and then I want to know if Spirit Halloween, because the law with superimposed photos is that it only has to be like a fourth or a half true. Like do you get what I'm saying? Like they could theoretically take a photo with like my eyes and nose and then put someone else's mouth on it and Photoshop a new face and sell it and that's legal, right? But like I would like to think

you know, top 50 most influential over here that I have the fucking power to know the truth about this. I deserve it. Like, can someone at spirit fucking Halloween find out for me or took this forward? Maybe she's like, maybe she's just ashamed. Not of you, but of her, of no, imagine she's a bitch who hates me. Like that would suck. Like if we look at that, I'm like, that's the thing. I just want to, I want to meet the real girl or I,

Did somebody just wonkify my photo over at the Spirit Graphics headquarters where they have budget cuts? That would be hilarious. I need to know. There's a part of me that almost wants to be this this year. Like, I want to take this exact fucking photo. Wait, that's, that is good. But it's very niche. So it's like, I don't know. Remember when you, oh, another, another time that you just,

decided you were going to tell me that like the day of she made me wear a Ronald McDonald a sexy Ronald McDonald costume without any preparation you saw me in a fucking red wig that episode something about that episode was so viral it was so embarrassing and I still watch back those clips and I want to die I mean granted at least you didn't have a Hamburglar mask on

Yeah, you kept trying to convince me that your outfit was somehow worse than mine. I go, it doesn't matter. I wasn't supposed to be wearing an outfit. I just think that you should have more fun. Well, I want to have creative freedom. Like right now I get to wear my Orca hat. But this is so sorority girl of you. Like you're basic. First of all, you're wearing a crochet fucking Peppa hat that I bought you. You didn't even give me a fair chance because you wanted me to be like, what, Gretchen Wieners? And then everyone would be like, why is Brooke wearing a plaid skirt? I was going for I'm a mouse duck.

There were many Mean girls options You could have done Big pink You could have been Another Regina You already told me We've been getting Age restricted And you wanted me To be fucking I'm a mousetail In lingerie In mouse ears Especially You want me to Sexualize my child Mouse

Don't be weird. She's got me in a corner, folks. See, you're good as fuck at this shit. You want to call me manipulative? You just ate that fucking up. I'm just saying I like to dress up. I like to have fun. Kind of looks like there's a little wiener on your head. It looks just like a dick. I thought that like immediately. Oh, wait. Yeah. Like, but with two holes. Yeah. Could be fun.

Have I done anything weird sexually? Save it for the Patreon. Chapel Roan shouted out Trisha Paytas. Love that so much. Which is really fucking cool. I'm so excited for that episode of Just Trish. Like, that is, that's a great blunt rotation. I love it. It's crazy because Chapel got so huge so quickly. Like, it's hard for me to compute in my head. Like, because she was on Therapuss.

And then she was going on Trisha's podcast, but now she has like the biggest set at Lollapalooza that's like ever existed in while the light was out. I also hope that after this week's past week's episode comes out, by the time this comes out, we could be in hot water for everything we said about chapel. I just want you guys to know I am forever a Stan. I was just working with the information that was given to me.

Me too, and I'm often, often, often misinformed. Lil Tay was diagnosed with a life-threatening heart tumor. I thought that happened a long time ago. That's what I was going to get into the whole thing. Like, did she? Because they, like, faked her death. Didn't her mom do that or something, though? Yeah, so then is this real? And she released a song. Oh, no, not the boy who cried wolf. Listen to this song, though. Damn, look at this picture. No one loves you as your diary. You need a creator. Oh, my. Was it ever my? Just say no more.

Like that's Lil Tay. She made this song. That's honestly like beautiful. Isn't it so good? Yeah. Like the youngest, from the youngest flexer to the Gracie Abrams trope. Like how cute. That's adorable. I'm a newfound Lil Tay fan. Honestly, I'm really, I'm really into this. I'm really proud of her. Did you see, speaking of Gracie Abrams, did you, you didn't watch Love Island, did you? Okay. Well, I mean, essentially all the girls were kind of

More similar, I guess. Like, just like Leah and Janae and like, just all similar. And there was this one girl, Hannah, and she just kind of was having more trouble. She reminds me very much of like a super Miami girl. I think she's from Miami. Was she the one who was singing on TikTok? No, I think that's the one that everyone hates. The like blonde one. I don't know. She was super fucking funny on Love Island too, like a lot of her quotes, but she was just different from the other girls. Like, and I feel like if I wanted to like kick it with them, I would almost like,

After Leah and Janae and the PPG girls, like I would put her right up there. Like I know she's fucking fun as fuck, right? And just crazy. She ends up getting arrested at a Gracie Abrams concert. Like a hilarious place to get arrested. And it's like for threats. Let me tell you exactly what it is. After assaulting an EMT and a police officer, she was charged with terroristic threats and acts and...

Willful obstruction of a police officer. Like...

Those are crazy charges and to catch those charges at a Gracie Abrams concert is arguably the funniest thing ever. I don't know if it's fun. Well, yes, it's, I mean, it's just a crazy place for that to happen. Also imagine being Gracie Abrams and hearing like the Love Island girl was just at your concert and she got arrested for this, this and this. Like honestly, if I were Gracie Abrams, I wouldn't be paying attention to anything except for Paul. Who's Paul? Paul Mezcal. That's who she's dating. What do you mean? Who's Paul? I don't know who Paul Mezcal is. I like that tequila. Yeah.

Me too But it's actually not tequila It's mezcal I guess it's like Kind of like tequila They're related They're definitely like cousins Everyone on earth Needs to go to the sphere It changed my fucking life It changed my entire perception On the world I know this is also Like a lighthearted And sweet topic I'm so sorry Seriously give me someone To cancel If that's what you want And if not You know Maybe I just want to hang out Maybe I just want to talk About things I like Maybe I'm just having A good week You know No one's pissing me off People are still listening To Giggly Squad And they don't talk shit About anybody Maybe

might just be better than us who knows they are you need to go to the sphere it was one of the craziest experiences in my life postcards from earth it had me it's so creepy by the way it's like such a fucking scary movie the ai robots are horrifying the whole place is horrifying like it is like do you know elon musk went on record and said like we shouldn't go in this direction about like ai robots and you know if someone who can like make them is saying that like

They're on to something. Or maybe he wanted to be the only one who's doing it. But watching them talk to people, it was the craziest shit I've ever fucking seen. I don't really fuck with robots in general. Like, I have that thing turned off to say that, like, Postmates cannot deliver to me in a robot. I don't want anybody's robot coming up to me. I don't care if her name is Jill.

or whatever it is and handing me my food. That's not gonna work for me. One time I saw someone fighting one of those. - That's the most Hollywood Boulevard shit I've actually ever seen in my entire, heard in my entire life. It wasn't on Hollywood Boulevard. - It was on La Brea. - It's just, I can't. The robots at the sphere though, Brooke, like it was so scary. It was so fucking scary. - So wait, what do they do? What are they like? - Like I can just talk to it. Like I'm talking to you and me and like the eyes move and the shoulders move and it looks like a fucking

Could I date one? And like, yes. Like, that's why it's scary. That's why... Like, she was talking in all these different languages to people and like, just a person going up and being like, oh, I'm at this... That's... But you need to see it like, move and like, next to you. It was so fucking weird. That's crazy that they can do that because...

like what about like disney's animatronics aren't they like a billion dollars like i just i almost don't believe it i believe there's someone in the back that has to be like talking like it's it's like there's no way and then the whole like postcards from earth the show i saw it's like disney's soaring over whatever but like times a billion like you really feel like you're actually there like i had to keep closing my eyes like it was so high def and like yeah that like almost

I had to keep like looking at my knees and being like, and the whole show is just about like how humankind has like developed over the years. And it like transports you to all these places. Made me really sad for where society is at. You know what I mean? Like seeing all of the beautiful things that people have built and done all over the world and shit. And now we're like addicted to like strawberry flavored batteries. And like we get. Careful with we. We get breast implants. Yeah.

Damn. Like. Catching strays. I don't know. Everyone needs to go do that. I get what you're saying, but I think we could like maybe go outside or like go somewhere beautiful and see those things and we just choose not to. We sit with these microphones. You know those comments that we get sometimes that are like, make podcast equipment more expensive. I'm like, I get that. I do. I really do. Okay, guys. Well, we love you so very much. Happy Halloween.

What the fuck? Like, why is that what I would say? Happy October. I'm just so happy to be back home, hopefully gathering more lore. Listen to me again. Let me know what the fuck you want in the comments below. Whoever, whatever you want me to talk shit about, I will hop on this mic. Same with the Patreon. If you are over there, you want to go to Patreon, but you don't want to go until you know we're doing what you want to do. Leave requests, okay? A bitch is sober and down for anything. I don't know why I said I, yeah.

We love you guys so very much.