92: BROOKE AND TANA REACT TO CLINTON KANE’S TIKTOK SERIES
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Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. Come on Brooke, one of them. No. Please. You guys, and you know what? You put me on the spot like that and then everybody's like, she doesn't vibe with them. Like, no.

But it's like I just don't bark. Like it's just not really my thing. You just like don't want to embarrass yourself publicly. I get it. The only reason that I ever was so passionate about you barking is that I think if you ask any single person to bark. It says a lot about them how they decide to bark. Yes. But what does it say about me for me to not decide to bark? You're not a dog. You don't get that dog in you. I'm a self-respecting individual which we have witnessed on this podcast to not be true. Yeah.

Well, you're looking at barking as this whole degrading thing. Yeah, I feel like you're trying to peg me. I'm like, and what's wrong with that? It feels like you're emasculating me. Like you're trying to get me to like jump. No, no. I think it's empowering to bark. I think you're gaslighting me. I think this is what you would say to a man. We just growled into the fucking mic. Yeah, like, I know, but this is a manipulation tactic and I'm learning to discover them quicker.

Listen, one day, I just know it, she's going to get on all fours and fucking... When you...

When you start howling. I'm going to be collar and leash. When you have like an LAX airport incident like that, you're going to start barking. A hundred percent. I still can't believe I did that. I really didn't mean to do that. I can and I loved it. It was one of my favorite Hannah Marshall stories. I wish I was there to tell it. It's just so funny because if you were there, you would have beat the brakes off me. No, I don't think that's true. I think in that situation, you see how I get it sometimes. That's true. That's true. Sometimes you like will side with me, but I just all things considered that day. I try to side with who I feel is right in the moment. You do got that dog in you.

Yeah. Speaking of. Hi, guys. So first of all, it's crazy slipper day over here. Yeah, and I poached Tana's slippers, but I had to because I was having like a little bit of an emotional day. So now she let me wear the slippers that I like. It's so funny. These ones were for Brooke, and they're like a size six, and I feel my toe about, look at my toe. It's like it has a boner. You're about to rip through that shirt. It's like busting out. It's busting out of them. But these did go with my first lady outfit. I'm like dressed, I'm dressed business casual for the Cancel Podcast today. We are going to different places right now. We are. We are.

I just rolled out of bed. First of all, I'm so fucking hungover. Second of all, you are running for office. Third of all, you're going to the club. I'm going to Barty's Bean Room. I liked it. I think we all dressed for each of our themes of the day. I got dibs on presidential shooting. Oh, I like that. I got dibs on my ex making rounds. How dare he? My shirt says girl blogging. I don't know what the fuck. You got dibs on Patreon drama. Okay, I'm into that. I'm into that. I can handle it. What should we start with? Well, I mean, first of all,

Here's the goal for today, right? Let's set a goal. We never do that at the beginning of a game.

of the Christmas. Yeah. I feel like the goal genuinely today is, you know, lighthearted. Jack it off under the rainbow tarp. We're having fun with it. We're silly goofy, right? Yeah. These bitches are going to be so sick of me. No, I will admit I've had like a little bit of a like, oh no, I've really been like nailing everyone a little too hard on the cancel podcast. I've kind of been having bad vibes and I admit it, you guys. So today's good vibes only. I don't think you've been having bad vibes. No. I don't. I think I like personally have been having bad vibes and it's translated on, on.

Like I've been just. Well, I think a lot is just happening. I said it in the Alyssa episode last week. Like I would do anything for just two weeks.

Where it was like, we sat here and we're like, what do we talk about? The weather, like no one's death threatening me via text. But like you said on that episode, it's like they make it too easy. It just like some things just keep popping up out of nowhere. Like a 29 part series from Quentin Kane. We have so much to fucking talk about. Can you believe it? I literally can't. Actually, I can. Because that man, he did his big one. Wait, so now I can talk about the voice memo. I never talked about the voice memo. I think I might have mentioned it on Patreon, which...

We know K-Wop 1 has clicked. Brooke is coming up with this one account for leaking the Patreon. But they leaked our whole live shows, every live show that they obviously didn't attend. So they have malicious intent. They're going out, seeking out the videos, and then posting them, knowing, like doing it, like, you know, it's malicious. To get views and make money. It's not like fun and like flirty, like, oh, I want people to be able to see it. It's literally like they don't like us, and that's why they're doing it. And that's what bothers me about it.

I agree with that and it is hard. I know that it's just one of the downfalls that comes with all of this. And listen, I'm about to put my foot into hiring a fucking DMC takedown team and I think that eventually the Patreon will never get leaked because that's the goal. We appreciate all the people that subscribed and we want to give them something that no one else sees. And I don't care if it ends up on TikTok every time. I'm going to put my fucking barefoot into this Patreon. See, that could have been a cool time for you to bark. Yeah.

That would have been a cool time, but it wouldn't. Let her rip. And also, sorry for cutting you off when you were saying a very important sentence and then I was like, that was a cool time for you to bark. Oh my God, mute my mind. The immediate apology is crazy. No, you nailed it. But yeah, no, I want to be serious. I really do. Like, Patreon is really exciting to me and I think it's a really fun thing that we're doing. So I'm still going to be controversial as fuck on Patreon, okay? 100%. And we appreciate so much, obviously, everybody who's subscribed. You're not going to regret it.

let me tell you that much at all and k-wop one is getting deleted immediately she can only do so much she can't post no yeah wait till she gets finds out her account is banned permanently attacking one person is just so funny to me it okay i know i just was like i'm not just anymore i'm good vibes only and i'm like death to k-wop one you know what's funny is i almost fucked this guy named k-wop a while ago no so it's like when i swear to god his name is k-wop someone i shouldn't have fucked i didn't i came to my senses okay that's good i'm just saying every time you say k-wop i'm like what

Where is he? You know, not like, where is he? Like, where is he? Like, where is he? Posting on TikTok. Clearly. K-Wop. We should probably just start with Clinton Cain. Yeah, so then we can get like funny and goofy. Silly and goofy. I will say his series was silly and goofy. I...

Was going to talk about this voice memo on the podcast. And then I decided I was going to spare a fan. Okay. Because the fan didn't want to be like thrown under the bus or whatever. But then Clinton mentioned this fan in his series. So now the fan feels like fair game. And it's like a sweet fan who's, well, they've been playing both sides, like telling like Clinton inside about me and telling me inside about Clinton. But I wasn't going to stop engaging because I needed the inside about Clinton. Very fair. Sure. And so they sent me a screen recording of this voice memo from Clinton in which he states that

that he pities me and I am so was such a despicable human being for making up all these lies and he just cannot believe that somebody's life is so miserable that they have to make up these lies and then at the end of the end of the book should I just play it yeah at the end of the voice memo he states me you guys are so hard because I just always want to hit the Wendy Williams death to all of them and then like it's like you're not Wendy Williams 10 if you think he should suffer okay

I'm not going to play the whole thing. It's a minute long, but I want you to hear the end. Her. So American. Yeah.

Everyone saw. But that's what's the joke. That voice memo was taken like three weeks ago. That's how long he was preparing this, like what he thought was going to be like the drop of the century. I didn't even think about that. You know what I mean? We thought it was going to be a mom reveal. I thought it was going to be a mom reveal. No, I was fully ready. Everybody like wait till July 12th. He's doing a mom reveal.

because i had seen that he had been in the philippines so i was like oh he must have like gone to see his mom done a video or whatever but no what i never expected was a fucking 29 part series from clinton kane you know what cracks me it's like every video has 2 million views and like 2 000 likes i'm not every single video for trying but how validating it has been to me to see everybody like finally see what i went through because there's there are a lot of people who are like wait i felt gaslit for a second no for a second he had me and then i was like i snapped back

I sat back to reality. I'm like, wait, he's talking about you guys being at Mel's for actually five hours and not just one. Like no one cares where the fuck is your mom. So what's so funny about it too is like, like there's every little thing. Like, yeah, like you said, he honed in on the, on all these like specific details, but like specifically,

specifically to discredit me as a storyteller, okay? Basically make it seem like I told all of these lies and because of that, I am no longer credible and this story must not be true. And the lies included like, oh, we got pulled over on the way home from Joshua Tree, not the way there. Like, it was cracking me up to like...

I can't even explain it. And when it came to like the act, wait, sorry. No, go ahead. When it came to like the actual issue that everyone's like, okay, what about your mom? It was like a five second video being like, and it wasn't actually my mom. It was this woman that I really resonated with and I loved her. And he said it was not pathological or pathological lying like everybody thinks it is. It was one silly answer on a podcast. And I regret like, I'm like, bless your heart. I never even got through the whole series. I'm still seeing little clips here and there. I never watched. I like skimmed through a couple. I'm going to admit.

There's like a lot of speculation that he fabricated text messages. It's not speculation, babe. He used the iCloud edit feature in the screenshots and that feature didn't exist when you sent those texts. Oh my God. But I want to go on record really quick and say, I said that shit. Like what? Kid Rock?

oh yeah duh no but i'm saying like the dates on the text were missing commas like some some you know what i mean the internet was up writing for me almost too hard to the point where i was like no guys like we i sent those texts yeah but you didn't say anything bad in those texts no not at all the gig and the gag and he i went through like because obviously i still have i have a first of all i have a clinton kane iphone y'all saw it if you were on tour i have a clinton kane iphone that still has every single text it's all my it's my old phone that i had when i was dating him so i have all those texts whatever

And I was fighting fights. Like one time I got in so much trouble because he said, how come you haven't texted me good morning? And I go, I don't know. I like, I mean, I just woke up and he goes, well, you sent me a TikTok at 1030. Why are you lying to me about when you woke up? It was like this whole fight. And it was like, I just realized like, you know what? I was never going to win.

But what I loved about his series is that he validated me in ways that I can't even explain. Oh, yeah. Like, he made it so blatantly obvious exactly what it was like to go through that relationship with him. It was just so funny because it's like, he ended up gaslighting the public. He did. Trying to. Some people fell for it, and I get it. But also...

Even if all those lies or holes in my story were true, which they weren't. That's the thing is you could make another 40-part series on debunking the weird things he honed in on, but it'd be sad for you to do that because the bigger picture here is why is he honing in on those things? Yeah, well, here's my takeaway from his series is that, first of all,

Like this has, it's gotten so big that it's like we've, we've Clinton, Clinton Cain is like, we've taken care of it. You know what I mean? I don't even think we have to harp on it anymore. I do think there should be petitions for lobotomies. Yeah. So executions public, like go fund me. But like if enough people sign up, no,

No, but what I'm saying is like, it's like almost not funny anymore. It's like you see that you guys see now that this is a very, very mentally ill man that we need to potentially get admitted somewhere. What happened to tarring and feathering people? Take them to the town center. Stone them to death. Sorry. Sorry. Kiatine. No, she's right. But you're you're the bigger person. And I'm loving that.

I personally, I've gotten my, I, you know what? I've, I've gotten my vengeance. Like I feel, I feel very validated. I like the whole relationship was so frustrating because there was no third party and nobody to tell him that he was wrong and I was right. And now tens of millions of people have done him. And it makes me so grateful in ways that I cannot explain, but I will go on record and say that I did say I wanted to fuck the shit out of kid rock and I meant it.

And you have to, maybe that's why you haven't done anal yet because it was meant for Kid Rock. I'm being so fucking for real. I did say nothing's more American than Kid Rock and nothing is more American than anal. Wait. Oh my God. Both. I mixed them up, but y'all knew what I meant. You have to wait for like the next 4th of July. Kid cock. Kid cock on the forest. I'm sorry. All summer long. I'm like, dude. Yeah, no, I did. I did say that. And yes, it was disrespectful, but no, no.

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The other day, Alex Warren and Cover called me and they were telling me all these stories of times Clinton came over.

And was trying to brag to them about cheating on you. And they had to like cuss him out. Like Clinton came over and he was like, that's just my whole brand is being toxic. Like Brooke knows what she signed up for. So I'm cheating on her. And look at this girl and this girl. And they had to like... Yeah, Alex messaged me the other day and was just like...

How crazy is this? Honestly, the nicest thing that you could have done was just say that you would fuck the shit out of Kid Rock because you could have done way worse. I know. I should have cheated on him the whole time. 100%. I responded to the series and I just said, like, I don't feel any different about him after watching it. Like, nothing new has changed in my opinion. I knew he was going to do exactly that. I thought he would at least do it from, like, Brunei or something. I thought there'd be a spunky twist. However, like, that's just lack of budget and production. I knew it was going to be just like that.

It does make me feel like weirdly sad that nobody cared about him enough to get him to not post that. Seriously, like where's the PR team? No, seriously. Like, I mean, first of all, I don't have a PR team, so he definitely doesn't have a PR team. You know what I mean? Like, no offense, but like he, you know, like there's no reason he would have a PR team. And,

It makes me sad that his manager... There had to be an approval process. He would need Kris Jenner herself to save him PR-wise. There's no PR team on Beverly. I know, but that's what makes me feel a little bit of... I don't want to say guilt. It's not guilt, but I feel like it's... Okay, I got my vengeance, everyone.

move forward it's just hard it's just hard like it is just so shocking and it like i don't know but you have to like yeah i'd be psycho if i was watching this all happen and being like he he like this is funny yeah it's not funny it's really horrible

But I appreciate your empathy. He's such a clown. I do appreciate your empathy and I think it's beautiful and it attests to who you are as a person. Yeah, the fact that you still feel guilt over any of this is beyond me. It's hard because it's not guilt. I felt guilt forever. I didn't want to ever say anything but now it's like, it's genuine. You know what? You know what it is, Paige? In the hands of the public? I look at him and I just pity him because how miserable of a life you have to live to tell these lies.

And it just... It does make me sad. He sat there and made a fucking Google calendar and, like, all these things to validate. What makes me sad is he genuinely believes what he's saying and still, like, he watched all of that back and wholeheartedly believed that he was right and I was wrong. And that is a mental illness that I didn't even know existed until two years ago. 100%. Yeah. I said...

And I'll say it again. I think he's right where you left him. And that within itself is so sad. Like, I've always said that certain people's lives are their own punishment. Yeah. And listen, honestly, in...

I don't know what he could do to come back from it, but take a second, call your therapist and tell her that your mom's alive because she's not, she's not helping you with the wrong. I've always said like, I think in this scenario from a PR standpoint, the best case for him. And I mean this with everything in me would have been to come online and tell the truth. Just, and say, yeah, like I didn't believe in myself. He's digging his heels in and it's like, why?

Yeah, I didn't believe in myself. I didn't believe in my music. I didn't believe in my ability to be a boyfriend. I made these things up. I came from a world where it caused me to maybe have these illnesses like pathologically lying and gossip, whatever the fuck, you know? Like, I think if he owned up to it, yes, people would be so angry.

But it would create a world For a new leaf To be turned over And growth to be shown And that's the only thing That could garner Any form of respect In this scenario In my opinion Right I think it would have Slayed so hard If he got on And he was like Yeah fuck Seriously If he just handled That shit Like sketch If he was like Cats out of the bag Wait can you

I did have sexual relations With all those women That weren't from Schofield And He's like let's address The elephant in the room My mom's fucking alive Yeah I don't know what part He got to his mom But it was like Part like 28 out of 29 Like that within itself Is just And also ask me How many videos Out of 29 He had an Australian accent Like baby that's part one Yeah Like open with that No one gives a fuck About Mel's diner

But ordered the whole menu just to stay longer. Clinton Kane, you are an embarrassment. I just saw this video today of... Do you remember when he performed at that after party event? And I was just laughing. We were all like sobbing to his music. Like the belief in him that we all had. But it's... You know what? It's almost like it actually made him work...

He was so talented at the time. And it's like, I don't want to say that because like there's all these videos going viral of him like performing like badly and stuff. And it actually makes me sad. Like, no, it really does. No, he has a good voice. Because he was, no, like, I don't know what, like, it's almost like being a bad person like makes you worse at things. Because it was when he started getting so horrible that he started getting so bad. That's crazy. God was like, let me take those vocal cords away real quick. Seriously. And...

I don't know. I like, I really, I it's yeah. I don't want to regret getting too mean about it because it's like the internet has done its job and thank you guys obviously for supporting me because it like really felt, I mean, it felt good. I love seeing you receive the support that you have had internally all along. Like,

Obviously everyone close to you has always felt this way. Yeah, but it's one thing for people around you to validate you because of course like they're telling you what you want to hear. But like a lot of, I was made to feel crazy in so many situations that like it was validating because he posted texts and those were real texts from me. I was apologizing like a motherfucker. But every single person who commented on those videos was saying like, oh my gosh, I can see exactly where Brooke was.

was coming from because I've been in situations like that with an ex or whoever who was gaslighting the fuck out of me and they respond the exact same way. Like those texts, if anything, were just proof of like the situation that you were put in. Yeah, that's the thing. I would, I was constantly having to apologize and that's what was so infuriating about it because I don't like to admit when I'm wrong and I also don't like to say, I hate to say sorry if I'm not sorry and that's all I was doing. He could have been telling me. But that within itself is just an attest to the abuse and I honestly, dude, I've been saying this all week, like my new bit and no one can stop me from this is

clinton kane is dead i know but i don't like that i don't mean like literally but i'm just saying like from our lives just he's gone erase him i know and i'm i'm healed and i feel good and i feel amazing and i'm like i again like i just almost kind of not that i want it to be over because i caused this and i know that i did i think it will be but it just is like it's a lot and it's i think the series was the nail in the coffin he came to the forefront and showed everyone who he is and eventually it will

like move on you know yeah have you seen all these girls on tiktok talking about how like jojo siwa just released her new song at like like not the most opportune time because everyone cares about the clinton stuff so much so she keeps making her choreography crazier like let's let jojo have a moment i don't even know she really is clinton only jojo could save you and honestly it's not even working donald trump got shot and like and your shit had more do you know her shit had more engagement than donald trump's i don't know no i believe i fully believe that

I saw some analytics, but then where am I to say some shit? I'm going to go on record and say that those are faulty analytics as what were most of Clinton's points and heart. I don't know. That is crazy. I got so drunk yesterday. It was like not even okay. Like I was doing things I'm so ashamed of. Weren't you just lezzing out? I was lezzing out. Well, I'm not ashamed of that, but I was like...

There's like evidence of me at a restaurant I wasn't even... I don't even know I went to. Oh. And I'm like seeing TikToks of like people I didn't even know I met. Like I'm like... I'm like kiki-ing with them. But at least when you're hammered, Brooke, like you don't... You hold yourself together. Yeah, like you are composed. I know you always say that as a positive, but it's not a positive. It's a fucking curse because...

Then everybody thinks I was dead serious with all that shit I was saying and I didn't mean. Oh, OK. I do the same thing, though. I go from black the fuck out. I'm like trying to keep composed, like keep it together. And then it's just lights out. But you go silent. You get a case of the giggles that I've never seen. You know, but I also go silent. I go nonverbal. I can't talk. I just go. But imagine you're playing a game of telephone with yourself and everyone you've ever texted and FaceTime never. Yeah, that's tough.

Yeah. I do choose. I do choose peace. Yeah. I choose peace. And I know better at this point because I've ruined my life countless times. How was the lezzing though? Are you ready to just. Like I said on the last episode, I'm spending so much time with all these lesbians that I'm like, wait, I feel at home here. Yeah. You got the short nails going. You know what I mean? But I am. Well, I've had the short nails going, but I'm scared of, um.

You know how like the Swifties didn't welcome me? Like because it was like you either like join or don't. Like I don't want to get accused of like queerbaiting or anything. So until I'm like literally scissored up, I'm just going to go ahead and stay still. I got wildly accused of that for like a very long time. And then I had to really like munch box for people to care. And it honestly infuriated me. I don't really know. Because it's like I was curious.

I didn't know what I was doing. Yeah. Okay. But here's like, here's what I think. It's like the entire time I was dating Bella, every Daily Mail article was like Tanner and friend Bella and friend. Like they, they never once history will say their best friends. Yeah. Yeah. Weren't cats and dogs knocking knees and boots and shit. Yeah. That's the thing. But it's like, you know, if I don't know if I like horseback riding, I like, but I haven't tried it. Well, but it's not a hobby. So,

So if I don't... Okay, wait. So wrong. Wrong answer. See, I'm learning with you guys. But if I... Follow along. I appear Irish, okay? But I don't know that I'm Irish. I've never checked. Okay. I've got freckles and I've got almost red hair. So sometimes I'm like, I'm probably Irish. But I've never done 23andMe. So until I get those results back, I won't know for sure. That was the most intelligent analogy ever.

ever like that was just so impressive sad i'm no no i'm good no that was such an intelligent i don't know if it's inherently in me because i've never put like i've really never put it to the test like like seriously like i've hooked up with girls but like drunk and like you know i've never like really tried to date a girl i also think it's very like it's a case by case for me it's like person

I don't know, like a person-by-person case. With queerbaiting? No, no, like actually having sex or like when it comes to like dating girls, for me it's very... And like just anyone I date in general, like I just have to like them as a person, be like really attracted to them. It doesn't matter like what sexuality they are, like what they identify as. It's just very like if I like you and like I think you're attractive and I like your personality, like then you're for me. But it's like maybe it's gonna take...

that for you to go there. I think so too. I 100% agree with that. I also think like women are... It also could just be like literally I've been driven like literally off the rails by the men and it's just like... That's what happened to me. I also think with me like...

For example, when I enter a room, like I think I'm more straight than I am gay most of the time. And like when I enter a room and there's like a bunch of hot guys, I see them and I know that they're hot guys because I think I'm inherently attracted more to men. But I'm not looking at all these girls. But I think you find out that a girl is attractive like the more you talk.

to her like yes like for me with every girl I dated it was very like case by case like wait I just love you and I'm so attracted to you I'm not like walking into this room like trying to fuck y'all whereas if you were like straight guys I might be more like that's what your natural like disposition is yes instinctually your natural yes I understand I also think women are far more intimidating than men like you never know if they're actually like gay if like they're into it and it's like

It's like fucking playing Sudoku. But that's why I figured it out. Bibi on camera just looked me dead in the eyes and goes. Me and Bibi are going to hook up one day. And I've always said that too.

I know. It's like a lot of tension that goes on in this friend group. It really is. We just need to have a big group fuck. No, but... We gotta just work it out on the remix. One thing I am concerned for you with is, in my opinion, I have been the most emotionally terrorized by the women I've dated. Like, you want to talk about psychotic fights. You want to talk... Because it's like...

Imagine someone's matching your emotional intelligence and throwing it right back at you. Couldn't be a man. Because a man, when you guys, when you fight with a man, all they can say is like, you stupid fucking bitch. A woman, like a woman will come for you and be like, yeah, that's why your mom abandoned you when you were six years old and your dad never fucking came home. I'm like, oh. And think about the fact that like, think about how like, have you ever tried to fight with a guy at like 3 a.m. And he's like, I'm too tired. We have to do this tomorrow. Yeah, like they don't even want to. A woman's never too tired, babe. You will see the sunrise.

Sunrise. That's like, and it's like when you think you finally like came to a resolution, like you guys are done arguing about it and like you figured it out. Nope. You'll bring up five more points that weren't addressed the first time. Like they will find something so minuscule to expand on. You can't play any of the games that you play with a man. Oh no. You can't play with a woman. Cause she's played, you know what I mean? It's, it's like, I do. I agree. And I'm like already like emotionally a little bit off the rails. So I feel like that's the last thing I need to get myself involved

in granted it also is the most loving relationship that you will ever be in like you will never be more seen or heard in your entire life so that's good I do need just somebody who's gonna match me emotionally because I keep getting involved with these guys who think only with logic and not like with a woman's brain I need somebody to think with an emotional brain yeah and I'm the most emotional the only times I've ever actually had to go like full full fucked up no contact like restraining order though is with women like because it does just

I don't know. Restraining order is crazy. Like, no, it came. Clinton tells everyone he has a restraining order against me. It's so funny that he lives in San Diego. It just builds and builds. Yeah, Justin Horowitz just ran into him in San Diego. You guys look for him. Wait, don't look for him. Don't look for him. I was just in San Diego all weekend and you should have seen me like this. Like, ah. He ran. He had to run. Well, wait, I shouldn't say that.

But like he couldn't stay here What was he gonna do Go back to Brunei Find another girlfriend Like Yeah San Diego's not safe Yeah Go to Brunei He needs to be in the country Yeah I Well no that's what he's done Every single time That's how he's ended up So many places This is the problem with girlhood Is that we will always Circle back to some shit Like girls are never Like you know what I mean Like wait like I know I've been like I know like just leave him alone Just leave him alone And I just can't And then six seconds later Something like I know I can't help myself I'm so sorry But

Well I was gonna like Kind of segue With like lesbian relationships too Like when I broke up with my ex She was like Can we be friends And I was like I do not have the emotional capacity To like remain friends with you I don't I really don't I cannot I felt that way In almost every relationship

Yeah, I was like, I cannot just view you as a friend without there like being any like romantic attachment there. My last ex-girlfriend is saved in my phone like dead ass as some like to help me shit as crazy ass bitch don't answer and like blocked on everything. Like it'll never work. Dude, it's hard. No. I think I, again, I know I say this so often on the Cancel Podcast, but I think I really need to just keep dating off the table until I get my ducks in a row. And like obviously I'm not, I'm doing something so terribly wrong and I keep getting really bad situations.

Speaking of exes, though, talking about being friends. Wait. Boy, do I have some tea for y'all. Give it to me, Paige. Do I have some fucking tea for you guys? I don't want to make anything about me, but it is so hard to keep track of how many men I want dead. Like, I'm not even kidding. Like, all the women I love in my life lately, it's like, oh, my God. Like, another one that I now want dead. He's public enemy number one. Uh-huh. Okay. Okay.

so well do you want to give some lore on him in general so that i was gonna say educate the cancelled listeners let me give like a little backstory i'll make it pretty quick i'll make it snappy you have to name him that's what we do here i'll call him greg okay backstory on greg so i met him on hinge this happened like november last year right hinge already first fucking red flag this man had just came out of a four year long relationship never that oh i know oh i learned my lesson

But he claimed he was over it. She was a fucking toxic ex. This and that. They also went to couples therapy. That's how you know. Which I also said there was one day we were like talking about our exes. He was getting into it. And I go, go get your wife. And he goes, yeah, I should call her. He did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We spend New Year's together. We're having like a great time. We're like three months in. All of his friends are saying to me, they're like, Greg likes you so much. Like, just admit that you guys are in love with each other. It's so fucking obvious, but none of, neither of you will just say it. Da da da, whatever. So I'm like on cloud nine. I'm like, I have this man wrapped around my ear like he loves me. He doesn't.

So fast forward, we're getting deep into it. And now I'm getting to the point where I'm like, okay, it's make, make it or break it. Like, what are we doing here? I don't want to waste my fucking time. You're at the, you're at the cap, the time cap for you to be in a situation ship. The free trial subscription has ended. Now you got to fucking pay. And when does it expire? What? It's like three months, right? Yeah. So I did my three month mark. Even four or five. Like, but after that, it's like everyone should die. Too long. They know in two weeks if they want to date you or not. You're so right. Why am I making excuses for a man?

i went 11 months i went 11 rounds yeah cookies so i was month three and i was like all right what the are we doing there's one night we get drunk we start talking about it and he actually brings it up he's like what do you think about us and i'm like wait this is good i'm like

I think this is going really well. Like, I like what we're doing and whatever. Like, I like want to keep seeing it like forward. And I was like, what about you? And he's like, yeah, I like you. Like, this is perfect. And he goes, so like, do you want a boyfriend? I'm like kicking my feet. I'm like, yeah, like I think like eventually it would get there. And I was like, what about you? And he goes,

Well, I'm just really not in a place for that right now. Like, you know, I'm going through a lot. I'm like working on myself. And they always want to play house. They're never working on themselves. They always want to play house until the house, like you really want the house to be a home, right? No, no, no. So catch this actual psychological fucking warfare, right? We have this whole deep talk in his car and he's like, let's just go inside. Oh, he makes a joke in the car and he's like, we're talking about like our sex, whatever. And he's like, you're the best sex I've ever had. I was like, likewise. It's honestly fucking insane. Yeah.

And we're sick. We're sick. No, but digmatization is a real form. Babe. And they say we don't get scientific on the canceled podcast. I was in dick sand, right? Sinking in dick sand.

Edgar Allen Hall. You guys are too intelligent for me. I was in dick sand. I want a shirt. I want a tapestry. I want a merch. Merch page gets a good, good check. Thank you. I was in fucking dick sand with this man and he makes a joke and he's like, should we just like say I love you during sex? I'm like, haha. Yeah, like that'd be so funny. It wasn't. We end up going into his room

He puts on Fade Into You by Mazzy Star, which is my favorite song of all time. If you don't want to get married, play The Weeknd. You sick. Plays Fade Into You by Mazzy Star. We are having the most soul intertwining. I don't even know how else to describe it. Soul intertwining, eye contact, I love you sex. Transcending. Babe, I did. So, oh my God. Literally transcending time and space. We are linking like the avatars do. Right? TW. Connecting braids. They do.

We are making the halo. Why are we making another Avatar sexual reference? Like she wasn't even here for that. I watched it. Oh. I'm like, I make the edits around here. I know. We're making the halo. We are intertwining. Fuck. And he goes, he looks at me and he goes, say it. And I go, you first. He goes, I love you. I said, I love you too. And we have the most insane sex ever. I don't hear for this. I don't hear from this man for a week after this.

A full seven days I do not hear from this man. And it's genuinely like, just like, what are you doing? Are you solving a really hard Rubik's Cube, bro? No, I have a phone. He's genuinely stuck in quicksand. I hope this man got hit by a fucking semi, right? So I finally reach out because I'm like, what the fuck is this? And I send him like this whole text just essentially saying like... Talk about the poker hand. It's a good sentence. Oh, thank you. I said...

I'm honestly a little upset that I haven't heard from you, especially after bringing up in the conversation that we had. Because I talked about his lack of communication too, which was just shit. Yeah, of course. I said, I've been thinking about it and I want to see myself out before we keep getting deeper into this. I would want you or whoever I'm with to be excited and have no doubt in their mind. We had a really amazing time together and none of it was a waste to me. I really like you, but it's best to fold when your hand's not strong. I hope you understand. That is so strong. He responded, he said, not reading that essay. Okay.

No. And it sucks because we're both the type of people. It's giving Alyssa Violet not listening to that fucking voice. No, literally. Because like that made me fold. I was like, ah, you're so funny.

I 100% am the same way I would fold every time because it's funny. And it's like funny. But no, but then he followed it up. Oh, and he said, I appreciate and respect your message. I don't want to push the issue. If you made up your mind for what it's worth, I didn't intend to like see you this week. Have a call to discuss how we last left things. He said, poker metaphor in the breakup text is crazy. I said, take it to a publisher for real. But I said, if your mind is still in the same place than us talking about it more would just be beating a dead horse. I was never good at gambling.

I love the callback. I keep getting chills. You're such a fucking eater. Where were you fucking 20 minutes ago? You should have phoned a friend. I'm always here. Well, we'll see. We'll see later. Because I got bars. You really do. So he ends up reaching out. I haven't talked to him. So we didn't talk after this, right? It was like no contact. No contact. Radio silence. He reached out on June 9th, 2.30 in the morning. He said, I love women. Ate you about tonight. Then he edited it. Are you about tonight?

Didn't respond for 10 minutes. He goes... Are you out tonight? Undue sorry. So he knew he fucked up. He was drunk as fuck. He sent me like the drunk 2 a.m. text. Knows he fucked up. Took it back. But so validating, I would love to get that. Oh, I did. I was like...

rubbing hands like bird man but we were giggling that was the best reference ever um we were giggling kicking feet but you're so strong like the way she handled all of this and the like lack of contact and whatever like you're really my president for you to be able to be the first to be like you know what this isn't for me sorry gotta see my business i would have had a smoky wing on in 20 and i would have been about tonight listen i'm always like i will not be made a fool me a fool um

I'm being made of wool. So, yeah, Tori always says, she's like, you're literally made of steel for not responding to that. I said, thank you. He texted me today at one in the afternoon. So he's been thinking about it. This wasn't like a late night text. He goes, I'd like to be friends with you if that sounds cool and not weird to you. Or if there's an avenue there sometime down the road, let me know. I hope you're well, et cetera. I sent him a screenshot of a cerebral email that I got.

for my six months celebrating my mental health journey it's really like honestly that's really powerful god you're so genius you're so smart thank you thank you so i sent him the screenshot and then he just talked about i'm more stable and well adjusted now whatever oh of course you are he goes think about it let me know if you think we can have a platonic relationship because i do enjoy who you are i think that could be fuck you first of all

when an ex is like, can we be friends? No. I have enough friends. I have plenty of friends, actually. I don't, what are we gonna do? Intelligent, good friends. Like, nobody wants to be friends with this fucking loser. All we've ever done is knock genitals. What the fuck are we gonna go to? Go to a pottery? See, you guys do, I feel like sometimes you guys get together beforehand. Oh, no. We just spend, yeah, we've never gotten apart. Actually, like, we don't separate. But I was going to a pottery class and still, I'm, I'm,

Bitch, I'm literally just, I'm so, if you don't want to date me, leave me the fuck alone. I am heavy on it. You could have just left me alone. You could have just fucking left me alone. And I'm begging. QLB. Quite literally begging. I also want to for 10 seconds. I have personal beef with him now, right? Oh my God. What do you do? So mind you, Paige was, Paige is very good as well about like, kind of like when she's newly talking to someone. Yeah.

protecting almost like her friend group. Like she's not, dude, I make out with someone once and I'm bringing them around to everyone, like signing the wedding papers. Like I'm unfortunately just like that. Like you will like make sure like I'm not going to bring you around until like you're my fucking boyfriend because you don't deserve that. And like all these new friends and you know, whatever. And we've talked about that at length. Like I think it's such a good thing that you do. Right. So I only have the privilege of meeting this crazy of meeting this diva. Wrong word, Greg. Um,

This diva, Greg. Diva. Like two, three times, right? And obviously, like I'm ready to meet him and get to know him as much as she is comfortable with, duh. But the only time we'd really ever even...

had some camaraderie was at a Lakers game. Like we all went to this Lakers game and we were all in the suite and he was hammered. I was sober at the time too. So it was kind of like one of those where I was like, whatever. We just didn't really get to like link up. And I was going through a lot of drama at that Lakers game. That was when. Yeah. Um, Lila gate began. Yes. Um, so I just wasn't, we didn't even talk like that much at all, whatever. Right. And I'm assuming that you were never going to him talking shit about me. Obviously. No. So it's like his only, uh,

Interaction with me was like nice and kind. Has been positive. Whatever. And...

a couple weeks ago goes out to the club with this guy that she met on hinge right come to find out he's best friends or neighbors with greg so greg comes and then trevi is meeting fans at the club and greg is like there and hammered and like whatever and a fan comes up to trevi and it's like i love you and tana like you and tana in this video whatever greg has the nerve to open his little yap and say like oh tana i know tana i don't like tana i don't even

I don't even fucking know you. What the fuck, Greg? Literally bold of you to fucking say you actual weird motherfucker. And was just speaking to like sounding exhausted of like our lore. And just acting like he knows her and like he's been around her and he's like, oh yeah, like Tiana. You don't fucking

fucking know her you actual weirdo and so you want to be friends you want to kick it in the front he just wanted to feel like he had some sort of like now you want to be besties no i'm actually gonna come on here and slander your fucking name yeah and you should say his real name i think no just kidding well no we don't do that anymore someone someone made a thing today that said brooks like zeus and like everyone just is like getting struck by lightning i love playing god and you know what's crazy i love playing amelie and here's the thing like

How actually crazy is it? Because Trevi texted us. It was like two in the morning. Not like 12. And she goes, SOS 911. I'm out with your Greg. And she was like, the man I went on a date with just so happens to be friends with him. And he brought it up. He was like, do you know Paige Camerlin? And she was like, yeah. And then she goes, oh, oh. And he goes, oh no. And like that, why are you fishing? She goes, oh. Why are you like, oh, do you guys know Paige Camerlin? Is that your only claim to anything in Los Angeles? Like yawning.

boring barf barf barf barf barf so anyway um she barked quietly for you thank you all i have to say to you is yeah no that's so fucking frustrating it's like like you say leave me alone like don't come back into my life come like walk about because it's like i was doing just fine you sent him your fucking six month thing you've been on this whole healing journey you haven't thought about him in x amount of fucking months and now he wants to what

be playing nintendo switch that's just what i don't exactly that's what i don't get is it's like it's a cheap way for him to kind of like try to open the door again to us hooking up duh like hello duh right and it works every time on me i almost folded and i was like hold on hold on let me put my diva hat on see you're so much better than me i'm like trying oh my god yeah at some point i'm just like i can't be made a fool i have to stand the fuck up no and that's amazing and such a fucking admirable quality because and listen but it pains me

I don't want to do it. We could go to Silver Lake tonight with blindfolds on, arms out like this, and the first person we grabbed by the collar would probably be just like Greg. And that's what he needs to remember. Yeah, you are not special. You are literally just...

Are just Ken. Another raggedy man. Same with him. Like, it's like... Especially him. We could go fishing with our eyes closed and probably grab someone with the line and find... You know, it's just... We are Barbie. And it's him and his other girlfriend. Right. They are just Ken. One of them. Yeah, well, that's the thing, too. Yeah, so...

So that was fun today. Sending back the cerebral screenshot is just so good. You know what is so valuable about that is like you're going to feel good about that forever. You know what I mean? Like when you do fold, it's just like a disgusting feeling that you have to carry with you forever. That was such a good take. Yeah. Like we don't vocalize that enough. Like just in general, it's like girls watching like,

You will always feel like shit folding and when you're in the position to not fold like do your best not to. Well yeah I say that because I've been in the position I've literally ended things with the same person that I'm like going through this with like with right now. I've done it myself and I felt amazing. I felt like a fucking million bucks and now that it's not on my own terms I want to die and I'm like why couldn't I have just fucking stood on business and committed to what I meant. It's sad as fuck to be in the vulnerable position.

And like think you can just chat a little But like in reality you're all part of this big plot To get like you know And like they're just they never change So lesson learned Lesson learned door is closed Sayonara nice knowing you See you Greg Bye Greg Don't let the door hit ya It's so funny that your manager's name is Greg I know sorry Greg I'm gonna be at his house tonight Don't

Careful drinking. I know. That's where I get myself in trouble. I just need somebody new. I'm like upset. I got like blue balled by this athlete who I've been obsessed with forever. And then like I talked about him like, you know, here and there on canceled like from years. We've known him for like four years now.

Oh, that one. Yeah, he came back in recently. We've been like, we were like really chatting it up, like really hitting it off. And I was like, fuck this loser who like, you know what I mean? Like I was like, I've got this guy. And then he just disappeared on me. I'm like, God, I will never win. Do you know last week the boys lie girl said to me like athletes, artists and assholes. And it just like, it's so true. Like give anyone creative or athletic freedom.

And suddenly they don't have an empathetic bone in their body. It's almost like it has to be correlated with success, though. A certain level of success, it gives someone an ego that...

is irreparable. My man didn't even have any level of success. Actually, he was at the first rung in the ladder of success and he thought he could do all that. Yeah, that's true. Actually, yeah, what is it? That's bold, but then it's like, it's the same thing with like ugly guys. I really also just think it's LA. Like I'm so, it's funny, I just set one of my close friends up with one of Makoa's friends and she was kind of being like,

wow, like this guy's such a great guy. Like, where do you find these? And I'm like, literally Maui. Like, unfortunately, like it's like, I'm so on outsourcing. I'm so on outsourcing. Like it's like, cause even like your guy you're saying was on the number one rung of this ladder, but we've always said it, it takes a certain level of delusion to move to LA. And why is it perfectly fine when women do it? I don't know. I can't, I can't get the nail on the head there, but I'm just saying with these men, like there's not enough research. They move here because they think,

You know, he was pursuing a shitty, whatever. What they have is so valuable. Like, what they have to offer the world is, like, enough to get them out here. And then they have, yeah, no, no, no, no. And it's just so funny too. I think it's different because women don't use, like, women will move to LA with that delusion, but they're not using it to, like,

Hold power Or manipulation Or a Narcissistic hierarchy Over a man Like it's I think that's why I say it like that Yeah I don't know But then there's guys Like Aaron dude I really Aaron I feel like Aaron Is always in the room When we're Like literally today We're like all having A conversation B.B. All of us Where we're like I fucking hate men And Aaron's like

Like, there are exceptions to the rule. There's a few good ones. There are just so few and far between. I know, but I would like, I have to take some sort, like some level of accountability for choosing guys that I know are wrong. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? It's like there's a million good guys, like actual, like errands everywhere that we are fucking like literally just walking right past to get straight to the guy who's seven feet tall. Yeah. I also, I do think they're fewer and far between in LA. It's not you guys. That was crazy for him. That was crazy.

I could have said the guy who's singing in the corner. That wasn't supposed to be like an Aaron thing. The guy with the fucking mustache mullet patchwork tattoos. I'm just saying like it's like something that I gravitate toward every time is a guy who I know is going to fucking suck. And it's just like something it's literally like magnetic. The guy who's going to ashes figure out out in my eyeballs is what I'm going for every single time.

You ate so hard with that. And I'm starving. It's just true. No. Even just the hinge of it all is scary because you're picking someone solely based on their looks and where they live and their, you know, I don't know. You got to be careful with the dating apps too because it's like you have to assume that if they're meeting you there, they're meeting lots and lots of people there.

All the time No You know I had a hinge man With fucking patchwork And a mustache Fuck up my year And then I was like And then I was like Wait I literally don't know you That's what's crazy That is the good Healing thing about Meeting people on dating apps Is that you can At some point Remove yourself From the situation Like I don't fucking know you At all From

Adam or Eve? Adam or Eve. I always say that wrong. And she always says Adam or Eve. What do you say? Wait. It's just I don't know you from Adam. Oh. Or she doesn't know you from Adam. I'm just always trying to include a woman. But also, I want to go on record and say there's a lot of times that everyone knows this that I've corrected Tana and been wrong.

and I want to take accountability because sometimes I just be saying shit. Well let's just scissor while we have this right now like literally just go like this. So serious but like I you know sometimes I just like really like I have an issue I always have like with being like a know-it-all I was like the person to like you know that. I was just gonna say I was like the person to like correct my teacher and stuff but it's because my grandpa like I grew up with my grandpa and he was like he was an English teacher and he wanted to correct me all the time I felt like that was like the nature of my household and I was such a like little like

fucking i also have an issue with thinking i'm right about everything i say so if anything i think it's a good balance yeah well i think i'm right always too but i'm really almost always wrong but i'm speaking with a lot of delusion a lot of the time and i do think you hold me accountable so i don't want anything to change wait i was gonna ask you guys do you guys think anything about my picnic or pick me like tendencies has anything to do with growing up in a

I always, I, cause I first chime in every time. I've been like really trying to unpack it. Thank you, Aaron. Um, that was, that was, he's getting me back for a second ago. Obviously, like I had my grandpa and my uncle who I grew up with like only really. Cause my grandma, like once I like was like really formative years, like she was gone. So like everything was just like,

like I need the approval of like them oh if you want to go so crazy on that like I could go so deep on that but it's not my daddy issues like I have like the strongest like male figures in my life ever yeah I think it's yeah it just comes down to like trying to like measure up to the men in your life no I also think it's like my natural instinct is like to impress a man or to like to like I want to say things like I want to say things that I know that like they're going to relate to and stuff like that because that's like kind of like

I wonder about that. I was such a massive pick me until like 18 or like I just got humbled crazy like by the Internet. And I think that saved me from that. But I was. Well, that's what's happening to me. I was such a fucking pick me like because I always wanted my dad to love me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like in that I that translated into all of the first people I ever dated.

You know what I mean? And it's my interaction. Yeah. It's like those, those are the opinions that I've always valued the most is like my uncle and my grandpa. Cause those are the people who were in my house. So now I'm like, like, yeah, that's men. Yeah. I think that's just like growing, like growing up too and realizing you don't need the male validation. I think everyone goes through that phase. I did that too in high school. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. But it's like, it's so, it's so hard to unlearn it because it's like really, it's not, it's so subconscious. Like I have no idea that I'm doing it and I'll watch something back and I agree with everyone.

But I'm like, wait, like I completely, completely resonate with you on that. Like, I think it's something that I still am unlearning and still have to figure out. And like, you know what I mean? I don't know. Yeah. Same thing with like just misogyny in general. I feel like I like I'm naturally and that combined with like everyone in my household being like way older. Same was. Yeah. Yeah. You too. Yeah. That it's almost like I'm like very old fashioned and like it's just like I think I just had a perfect storm of like all kinds of things to give me a really bad personality. And I'm apologizing.

No I think You don't have a bad personality You have the best personality In the world No I'm Well I'm really working on it But you're not You have the best personality In the world No no no See now It looks like I'm fishing I gotta stop No No I don't think You're fishing I'm overthinking this Way too hard Also you're a girl's girl Like so if you I'm like if you want to be A little pick me here and there

Here and there It doesn't fucking matter Because at the end of the day You're a girl's girl And you will ride For your girls I do love girls so much And I've always had The best and strongest Like female friendships And I like I care about that More than I care About anything else So that's why I get Like sometimes frustrated With the picnic allegations Because I'm like I really would I would choose a woman Every time Yeah and you do I also think So many people Unfortunately And some by choice And some not by choice

Will never be blessed with the awareness pack. Right? Will never be blessed with the awareness pack. Clinton Cain. And yes, but even just...

But even just everyone, like so many people just will never have that like social, like the fact that right now you can say I was raised this way and it made me this way and I want to change that pattern. Some people will never get it. Do you know? Yesterday I was with a fucking nepo, nepo baby ass bitch. And I was just watching her like,

dig a grave conversationally and i was like you'll never get that yeah like you know like the amount of people who don't actually spend the time to self-reflect and think about shit like that well it helps that we have like really no choice because like if we're not going to do it someone else is going to do it for you so it's kind of like honestly it's helpful sometimes like the not criticism criticism isn't like helpful but i like when people point things out that you didn't necessarily know about yourself okay but look at alissa violet and i don't mean to like

No, let's take it there. Did we not take it there hard enough last time? I'm just saying point blank being she had a week of the internet of thousands of people saying, hey, this is probably a really wrong take. And her entire take from that was the internet is just a toxic place.

Mind you the diss tracks Were going for years You made it toxic Yeah like Like she could've You know what I mean like You didn't have to post that Reeled back Yeah Clinton Katie Could've read the comments On my videos And maybe he would've Changed up his 29 plus series I'm saying I'm saying Like the self awareness Awareness pack is given To everyone Some people just Choose not to see Like they just They get the The walking stick

And they start, you know what I mean? Like it doesn't, it doesn't always hit and you're lucky to have those cogs turning properly. Yeah. I'm trying. I think you're succeeding. Trump got shot. Trump did get shot. We kind of breezed over that earlier. Or skimmed over that earlier.

I love the little tap. You are such a dad. You go. Like, that's exactly what Bill Cameron would do. Like, she'll beat you in something funny. I'm a knee slapper. Like, crazy. And I keep, for some reason, I, like, adopted it to where I hit exactly the, like, the reflex thing on my knee. Sometimes, so you'll notice it on cancel all the time. I'll, like, do the whole thing. Your bear just goes flying. With the bear. It's hilarious. It has mustard stains. Like, that is Tana's bear.

Yeah. It's so funny that we both have the same slippers, you and I, Paige, and mine are clearly covered in various sauces and yours aren't. But I like to eat down to my feet. We did. So we skimmed over. Wait, one of these. Wait, both of ours have a mustard stain. Does mine have a mustard stain? Oh, wait, no, it's just a fuzzy. Oh, you pass it to me. Sorry. I'll take the mustard home.

We skimmed over Donald Trump getting shot, but that's actually so fucking insane. And I want to know what you guys think it's going to do to the election. I saw this guy doing stand-up comedy and the video had like 10 million views and like a million likes. So it wasn't just something I skimmed across. This is something that was like massively well-received, right? Yeah. Of him saying like, I wasn't really fucking with Trump until I knew that he had ops. Joe Biden's biggest op is the stairs.

And like, I was like, damn, this shit is actually like, like sway. First of all, hilarious. Second of all, like, listen, this is swaying the election in my opinion. Well, yeah. An attempted assassination will do that for sure. That's the picture of him like bleeding from his ear, holding his fist up with the flag in the back. It goes crazy. Hilarious. Second, hilarious. Did you? I thought you were on the watch list by now. I just kept seeing memes of Trump's ear bleeding and people saying, don't get your ears pierced. That clears.

No, I was going to say. I keep seeing edits of him. The next one talks, I can barely lift my head back up. I'm like. I keep seeing. Don't take your ears pierced at Claire's. This is where America's at. No, I keep seeing edits of him. Like as the Norman fucking Rockwell album cover. Lana Del Rey was just seen in a MAGA hat. That's definitely Carlson's boyfriend, right? Who? Norman fucking Rockwell? The guy on the cover. Jesse Lee or Jesse Ruff. No, no, no, no. Look.

Are we, is that what you're looking up? We're looking at a photo of the grand candy. Um, well, Lana, of course, Lana is a Trump supporter. Wait, what do you mean? Right?

It would feel, that feels right to me. Okay, you're probably right. That makes sense. I mean, that checks out. But that, but first of all, someone made that in PIX art. She also didn't wear a mask during COVID and she was honestly hilarious. She wore like a mesh bedazzled. So does that mean you're full MAGA now? Like, cuz Lana? No, no, no. Look at there, she's holding an automatic weapon. She's hilarious. God, I love her so much. That's, well. Okay. Erin, enough with the fact checking. She shot,

Erin literally just acts out of the tub. God, she looks amazing. She's so hot. I love her. Yeah, we're not flying. Can I keep seeing? No, you first. No, I was going to say, you go like this. I'm like, ah!

I also keep seeing fan edits of like Trump and Joe Biden and it's like in another lifetime we like would have played golf together dude oh did you guys see like a Phoebe Bridgers song I saw a meme that was like Joe Biden called um Donald Trump to see if he was okay like if he wanted to he would that one can I be honest with you there was a edit the other day of how Trump and Biden would be friends in another life and it moved me to actual tears like streaming down my face it

It makes me sad for both of them. Like they're so old. That's all. Like, no, I just want to see them like on a golf course. I'm like Alyssa Violet. Well, Donald, first of all, Donald is on that golf course. He did not miss his fucking 8 a.m. tea time the next day. That's iconic. That's so fucking funny. Also, weren't they like arguing about that? But I want to be, I want to just be

to just be there's a point in my life where like if i got shot at the ear i would still be in barney's beanery that night i wouldn't i wouldn't and that's the difference between you and i i would have made such a debacle about that no i would have called the hollywood fix had my ear out like kevin kevin long's outside i have myself bandaged up so crazy like in a wheelchair has nothing to do with your legs you have a cast on your arm everyone's like

I look like that fucking meme from Spongebob. No, you couldn't get that dry blood off of you. Last foam from paper skin. Holy fuck. Oh, God, I can't help it. What is it? That's another thing I have, like, I don't know where I got, is, like, the hope to get hurt. Oh.

You actually just made me gulp. I went, no. Brooke, genuinely, you couldn't get that dried blood off your ear? Someone had a fucking... Ever. I was the type to keep the hospital band on for months. Listen. What happened? Can I actually say something that I will probably regret? Me every week. Me every single week. I do. However...

And listen, we were just talking about this. We are such victims of propaganda. I'm the number one target for propaganda. I fall victim every single time. I believed Clinton Gain. I think the shooting was staged. Okay, I keep seeing TikToks about this. And obviously, like before I even get into that, it's very unfortunate that anyone like lost a life or got injured. So it's like hard to talk about it in a lighthearted manner when there was something serious that happened. But...

I 100% think it was staged. I don't know how I feel about it. I haven't seen any TikToks about that, honestly. I haven't seen any TikToks about it. I just think if he was genuinely in fear of his life, maybe he would have. No, but doing shot will do something. Or getting shot will do that to you. Like, you know, like the adrenaline. I am seeing really weird videos about like the crowd not ducking or running. Yeah, did you see that girl behind him? I did see that video of that girl behind him who was like. But I guess also MAGA stands are kind of like that.

Also, I don't I'm not confident that I would know what was happening in a situation like that, especially the sound. It doesn't sound like a gunshot. Yes, you would. I've been in so many shootings. So many. I was actually just thinking about the shooting I was at one time. Sorry. Here I go. Flippant breadcrumb. Yeah, I was in high school and a lot of Vegas parties would get shot up like a lot. Right. Which was just like awful. Right. And one of my friends, Jack, he lived. I love you, Jack. He got shot, but I was standing next to him.

And you just know. Like, I was thinking about this genuinely. Like, you hear the immediate noise and you know. No, but I don't think I have the same thing. It's a noise that you don't hear. But I have heard it. Oh, but you freeze is what you're saying. And I'm telling you, you and I just have opposite. I was like the girl on stage. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I would have been the girl behind Trump who's like,

Yeah, just frozen. I just realized that. Yeah, it's like flight or freeze. But I was thinking about this time my friend Jack, he got shot at and I was like standing next to him and I ran and I jumped out a window and in the backyard of the house that the shooting was at. Didn't you steal something? This was a different time. Oh. There was, they had all these dogs in the backyard, like Rottweilers and shit. And so I jump out the window and then the dogs are chasing me. I got bit by a dog. Stop. Oh no. What?

Isabella was there. I don't know. It's just like a random story. Bit by dog. But like, I hate the scar. Bit by a dog. Like there was a point where it was like, maybe you could have just hid in the bedroom. I don't know. It doesn't matter. I didn't need to share that. It was just, I'm just saying, you know, and you run. I love any new Tana lore. I think you know and you run. Well, I haven't. It's been a lot of years since I've heard a gunshot, to be honest. Was that? No. What? Didn't he like show up somewhere like with a gun? Yes, that was a bonfire.

Oh my god Where But he's like One of my best friends So that's like pathetic I wanna like Like I grew up with him This guy But they would show up To bonfires And just shoot in the air And watch everyone run Like they just enjoyed it I ran every time I fucked that man I Yeah You did So did she right I was just fucking twins Left and right though I didn't need to do that Oh my god I saw someone say That me and you both Had sex with Trevor Wallace Today and I just wanna Go on record and say No we didn't No we didn't But I love him so much So much

It was by the hair on our chin that we didn't, you know, like it wasn't like, oh, I don't want to. Like it just happened to not happen. I wasn't even in that position. I never got to the house. We watched Pawn Stars. Better than Avatar. It's honestly so fucking fun. Poor guy. He's like, leave Trevor alone. Yeah, I love him. I saw him post the other day. He goes, just finished seven shows in Sacramento. Trevor, do a bigger venue. Seven shows? Just put them all together.

Holy fuck. Could you imagine if someone told us we had seven Sacramento shows? Yeah, no. I would literally just tweet, everyone please congregate on this one date. And then there'd be TanaCon again. Right. Yes. That really is kind of what I was thinking about it. Speaking of just like the TanaCon era of it all, something so unfortunate of me is going viral.

What is it? I'm going to tell you. There's so many things. I don't even know which one. No, I know. I know. I don't know what's happening right now. Again, I just want two weeks. Me neither. So I was dating Monson. And in secret as well because my marriage, I think, to Jake Paul was still like publicly on. Mm-hmm.

I don't even, I don't know. It's hard when that happens. I wasn't, um, I wasn't mentally all there. Right. So I just, the timelines for me are crossed over. Right. But obviously I become everyone I date and always have, um, just down to the core. I'll be surfing next week. I don't know, dude, I become everyone I date. So at the time I was Madsen. Right. And I got this offer to do this holiday show. Um, and it was like, uh, I wasn't, uh,

Was this when you went on Maury? No, not at all. That's so funny though. But it's so funny. No, like it was a live show. It was at the Gramercy in New York City. Like I sold tickets. Oh, I remember. I'm so upset because like we were all like, I was the only one who didn't get invited. You should be happy you didn't. I'm seeing all the videos. No, I'm still offended. So I'm dating Mon and I just released my song Without You. The whole internet wants me to talk about this song and I don't really know what to say. Why does everybody, you...

That song is good I love that song Yeah you kind of snapped Maybe a little less auto-tune And we could Call it something But I remember I remember your Without You era Like when you were on Twitter And you just like Oh my god It was I've never seen someone Post so much for anything It was amazing Well I would retweet Every person streaming a song So I could chart above All the artists Like that was my like Wait somebody I think they're trying To get you back up there Right now to piss Clinton off

I know. Not that he was ever going to start. Everyone stream. It's just wild. Listen, I made that song about Jake with Maude. It was like this whole thing. Like, it was a mess, right? But so I get...

to do this holiday show and I go and I perform without you. Not only do I perform without you, I perform without you with a... Exactly. I'll tell you actually a little lore more, but I have a half up, half down hairstyle. My tracks are out. I love when she like runs. I'm wearing... Yes, yes, yes. I'm wearing a black latex jumpsuit.

I look like I should be like a construction worker. You're like in the Karma music video. Red lip. It's always the red lip that gets you in a little bit of trouble. Well, it was a holiday show, right? Oh, right, right, right. So I'm trying to give Christmas. And again, something about Bond.

that I did really love being with him and like I appreciate this about him to this day is he just like he'll believe in something like he produced a song he believed in it to the core he was like you're gonna be a pop star you should dress like this you should do this you know like he'll believe in you so hard that you'll start delusionally also like it wasn't delusional the song was about you saw the outfit though I saw the outfit that was a horrible video

So at the time Ashley Swan was also dating Michael Trawartha and he was like giving me vocal lessons. He's on stage in the video. Mind you, the middle had just released with Zedd and him like, why don't you just meet me in the middle? So I'm like, he's the biggest star in the world right now. No, literally she just out of bed. But so he's like coaching me. He's on stage in the video. I'm like, I'm the middle.

Like no one could tell me shit. And these videos of me, and it's just so clear. Like, it's just like that girl's dating my son. Like it just, it just checks out. Maybe you have a little bit of a personality disorder.

Well, yeah. What is that little mirroring? That's what happens when you date someone and you become... Personally, I think you gave Lady Gaga, VMAs, paparazzi a run for her fucking money. I'm gonna kill myself. You perform, mama. Can I tell you something funny that's coming out of this, though? I have to tell you another story. Of course. So with the Without You performance videos going viral comes my other performance videos going viral, right? And as you know, I have done like four whole music tours, which is horrifying. I can't believe that.

I didn't even know that. That's crazy. I have. You've lived so many lives. Hefner went gold. And listen, there was shit to sell. So I was like, you know what I mean? And at the time, I was only managed in a world where I was kind of a cash cow and these songs were making a lot of money. And so we're going to tour the songs. And I was like with it, right? But...

one of my most viral performances of Hefner is me in this red camo dress performing Hefner so and I'm seeing all these videos and that's who I was at the time I was red camo I was Hefner and I still have that dress and yeah and I and I think the performance you know they were funny and it was like a fun time like I wouldn't change anything I can't guarantee I'll go back to that era sorry to let the people who want that for some reason down um

But I want to tell you a story about this day. Okay? So the red camo dress day, I keep seeing the videos of that, right? I'm on tour. And at the time, I was just a mess to work with. Like, as you know. Like...

I just, I shouldn't have been touring, right? But I somehow fell into that. And so at the time I wanted to sleep all day. I wanted to get fucked up. Like no parental figures, no one telling me anything. So even getting me on that stage was like a very hard thing. And as you know, I'm ADHD galore. I need my Adderall to do a lot of shit. But now I take it accordingly and whatever. At the time it was getting shoved in my mouth. Like, yeah, like, like, so I would go on the stage, right? Yeah. And we had just done this whole run of tour.

I'm performing Hefner and W and Kobe unreleased. I love W. Everything, right? And this was the final show of that run. And I believe it was in San Francisco. I don't fully remember. But I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to do it. I had a flight to Dubai that night. Shut up. From San Francisco. Come to Dubai. Like, think about that. Like, as soon as you're walking off stage performing Hefner, you're on a flight to Dubai. It all just made no sense.

And then I had to fly back from Dubai straight into a show on stage in New Jersey. Like it just was a very strange time. Okay. And so that morning, my Adderall was supposed to be shoved into my mouth. Oh no. Uh oh. And I'm not, this is, the book will unpack all of the lore, but let's just say, well no, let's not just say, instead of an Adderall being shoved into my mouth. Not a Xanax. Don't say Xanax. Worse. Worse.

Percocet. Worse. Valium. Valium. Oh my God, it's bringing me to Eminem. Instead of Adderall, someone gave me Valium. I'm like, who? No, I'm kidding. Book. Holy fuck. Book, book, book. Valium. In my opinion, all of those drugs you just named would be easier to do anything on. Valium is like, I'm Gumby. I'm a fettuccine noodle. I'm starving. I have to go do a fucking meet and greet and perform rap.

on a stage on Valium. Perform rap. What? Perform rap was crazy. Because I'm not a rapper. Yes, you are. It doesn't come natural to me. No, it doesn't.

And I'm watching all these videos of me go viral from a show day where I was supposed to be on Adderall performing. I'm on Valium. Caught a flight to Dubai that night. Wait, successfully? Yeah. That's actually a slight. Well, because I was so fucked up, you could just move me. I was going to say, you know the iCarly episode where they accidentally, or what happens, the actress passes out and they have to hold her up and move her?

That was me That was actually me Hunter has so many Like BTS videos Of that day It was so bad It was so so bad And I'm watching All these videos Like what do you mean Someone on your team Accidentally gave you Valium instead of Adderall And you still had to do The show in the meet and greet And now these videos Are going viral It's amazing to me That you still pulled it off though Cause like I wouldn't You can tell I'm giving Lozan Well I'm like fucking your bitch Like I'm happy It's like

You're a performer mama You're performing rap Diva Give the people what they want Diva I'm really happy you're out of that era of your life though Me too I will say All of it The music too Like it's not I don't think There is a part of me that wants to do some like funny shit But like it'll never be taken that seriously again And I cannot believe I want you to do like a hootie country song Something hootie is fun Something I can make a little line dance to Because I'm trying to prep you know For dancing with the stars Yeah It's so funny The other day I got

a sound promo for that Charlie XCX song. And so then it was like, they were like, you have to learn the dance in order to get paid. I'm in this position where it's like, in order to get paid for this TikTok, I have to learn this dance. She's sitting there with her hands on her hips the whole time. Two hours and I couldn't do it. Two hours and I could not do it. It's so, I love it. It's so cute. I was doing it on my little water tower the other day. But that's what I mean. Like,

Some people have it in them. Some don't. Some can just renegade. Others can't. Charlie. Right. I miss her. Right. Holy fuck. Wait, what else do we... Have we... Well, that's not really that important, I guess. Do you know Rosa Parks' husband had a car? Really think about what I just said to you. I'm actually going to get a beverage. Why was she on the bus? There we go. Yeah. Rosa Parks' husband... We talked too much, though, about Rosa.

Like she didn't do anything wrong. You know what I mean? Like, I know, but it's like, but it's like no notes. You know what I mean? Like there's no, nothing she should have done differently. I agree. Including getting in the car. Yeah. Maybe she should have just called an Uber. It's so crazy times. Can you, you know what fucks me up is that I went to all of high school and all of most of college without Uber existing.

It's the craziest Postmates What the fuck Oh I would've been toast Listen It's gotten to the point Where like I will be in bed And I will order a Crunchwrap And I'm like Actually bring it Upstairs to my apartment Come through the front door And deliver it to my bed Well yeah Like I give the instructions I'm like First door on the right Come into my room 100% Drop it off Door dash and Postmates Are the worst thing To ever happen to me But that I do think about that often Cause like I had no money And I couldn't drive So like the shit I would have to do To get a ride now Like

Like I've sucked dick for a ride. You were like really resourceful. I never really like, I guess I didn't have to deal with that at that time. Do you know that Uber was such a like beta startup in the beginning of it that I was sponsored by Uber? Like I got free rides in exchange for posting because they needed exposure. My number one expenditure is like, is first of all meal delivery services and Uber.

Like I would have Designer bag on designer bag If I just didn't fucking Uber Like Uber eats every single meal I thought it was gonna be forever It was free It was genuinely free Every meal But it's like literally It's like it's Control Like it helps me a little bit Yes Because like I'm such a like crazy bender and stuff Like not that that's like a horrible thing But I literally I can't even keep food in my house That's my problem If I go grocery shopping

I have three bags of chips in my pantry clearing all of them one sitting. Yeah, and I don't know how to grocery shop so I'll come home with only tortillas and I'm like, fuck, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this? Yeah, and also like buying all the ingredients to make a proper meal is going to cost more than what it just costs to postmate it. That's why I could fuck with like one of those services that like I didn't, which will,

I did one recently. I don't even remember. Like HelloFresh. Like those. No, no, no. I did it. Oh, Factor. I think is what it was. It was where it's like they literally it's already packaged and you put six of those. They're so. Oh, it's so good. But I also like and fuck doing the dishes after I come home from working. The last thing I want to do is cook a fucking meal and clean the motherfucking dish. I was just going to say is I'm so about like, oh,

roi is i'm so about my return on investment yeah the amount of fucking time it takes to cook a meal and then wolf it in 30 seconds i'm sorry yeah i'd rather be face tuning well that's why i always i think i think that's why i attached myself to boldak like the way i did because i could just eat it right out of the pan yeah but even cleaning the pan after oh i'm so fucking lazy when it comes to that i just put it right in the dishwasher but then it's like running it emptying it to god why does the dishwasher feel like a cyber drug to me like i can't figure that shit out

And like doing laundry, that pile will sit on the end of my bed for a week. You guys, I did the worst thing for myself and I bought this like fucking laundry hamper. If you knew about it, you would be toast. Dude.

do tell it's the biggest laundry hamper you've ever seen it like it looks like it's like a commercial like hotel size like laundry hamper it was on amazon i think it was like 30 bucks i need three and my friend told me not to buy it because she was like you will never do laundry because you have so many like so much room in there you'll never you'll have items you don't see for six months and it boy was that the truth i had like like literally like brooks gone missing in there

Like, it's actually that bad. Also, Murphy shit in my closet yesterday. Oh, Murph. I was going to say, this is why I'm all about outsourcing men. McCullough's been doing the laundry. Oh.

That's good. I love that. An LA man would never. At all. I did finally hire Allison full time except I realized like I was so busy for a second that I was like oh my god I cannot survive without an assistant and then everything went silent and all of a sudden I have nothing for her to do and so she's over and I'm like we're just like watching Love Island. Like she's getting paid and I'm like fuck. Yeah.

But like I promised her 40 hours a week. Why did Murphy shit in the closet? You could knock out a lot in 40 hours with Love Island though. I know. Murphy shit in the closet because she was afraid of Justin Horowitz. Justin came over and he was like taunting her. No. And like she was like, she just was afraid to come out and use her litter box. So she shit in the closet, but she's never done something like that before. Why is that mean when I don't want to see people that are in my house? If I had a dick, I would be peeing in bottles off my bed.

- My God, the way men can drive and piss in a Gatorade bottle. You know they make women versions of that, but there's no point in my life where I'm suction cupping, ow, I hurt myself. - Yeah, Simon's mom, Birdie, invented it. - Yeah. - I just punched myself in the clinic. - I actually need a second. - It's like when you do your little whoop whoop. - Yeah, you go, yay-hoo. - Yay. - You're MJ. - Yeah. - Big difference.

Oh, I'm so sad about this shit. Paige, do you want to talk about it or do you want me to? I think you start. Let's go chronological. Your DM, my reaction. Okay, so the shirt I'm wearing today, my first lady shirt that I wore for my little meeting is from Peppermale. Okay, it's one of my favorite brands. We love Peppermale. They DMed me recently and they were like, listen, we are bringing some girls to the Eros tour in London. Okay? Okay.

and but in the message not this isn't a but but like but it says we want to bring you and tana so i was like oh my god i'm praying to god that tana they get first of all it's free second of all wants to go brand safe era yes and so i send it to tana well first of all i say urgent 9-1-1 dying wake up right now and everyone has to stop doing that unless people are dead but that's another conversation you asked me what time she just text me back 4 p.m 6 6

Check's out. Urgent 911. Right. 6 p.m. she responds to me and she says, what? I send it to her and it says, we have limited capacity. Like, there's only so much space in the suites. So, like, we can only offer it to you two. And we worked our little magic. We were like, how insane would it be to surprise Paige? Yeah.

My management gets the emails today, gets all the details. Well, I'm so excited. And so I message Pepper Mayo and I say like, hey, like I thank you so much for the invite. I'll pay if you don't want to. Obviously, it's another additional person. Can I please bring my best friend who's also my assistant? Yeah.

She loves Taylor Swift more than anything. And I had this whole content plan. We were going to surprise the fuck out of you. But it's my bad for not telling my managers and your managers that this was a surprise to you. Because it just goes down to show like...

Paige I could not do anything without you knowing like there was a point where I wanted to surprise you with the car and I was like I would just have to tell you like you're two in my email you're two in my bank you're two in my flights everything yeah like there's no there's no possible way yeah and listen you hit it really well up until this morning I got the text and yeah my management put her into a chat like literally a group chat a group chat and she was like hey

so about Taylor Swift. And I go, oh no. And I was like, I think Tana was going to surprise me with this. Which...

But this is also always what I get for like trying to put my David Dobrik hat on. Like this is not the type of content you make. You're not. I remember one time I surprised Sky Bree with a Bottega bag and like brought the wrong Bottega box, posted it and it flopped. No one gave a fuck. Like my return on investment was not there. Like, like it, it's just not my forte. But listen, the car's laid.

The car slayed. But that's because I was there. The Bronco ate. I don't know if we've actually ever talked about the actual peril and mental hell I had to go through. And I still think you knew. Low key. Yeah, I totally knew. That's what I'm saying. Like, actually surprising anyone, we live too much of a close life. Well, it was too much. Like, there's a lot of logistics that go into buying a car. You can't just like... Oh. You can't just like talk someone a car. Like, you have to have health or insurance. You have to be on the... Like, it's a whole thing. Scrambling. Scrambling.

But I was still. So yeah, you're going to Taylor Swift in London. Ah!

first of all i'm so fucking excited and also it's so fucking sweet of both of you to even like well it was her idea i was i don't know why i even started taking credit okay okay i'm like so anyway i'm like it's gonna let you that's sweet that's why but that's why i owned up to it that is first of all like honestly i'm like surprise aside it's so fucking sweet of you to even invite me to do that and like you know how much i love her and that is like my if i went to the heiress tour in london and i left you in los angeles i might as well be

I also fear being overseas without you. Did you just say Hitler? Yeah. I was going to say that. And then I went back and said the devil. But it was cute that you took what I was going to say. But it really is. That's so fucking cute of you to even do. And also, for Tana to plan a surprise for me also takes a lot for her because I am her. And I handle everything. So she texted me. She's like, what are you doing August 14th or the 18th? And I was like, I don't think anything.

Me adding through the 18th because I want to go to like Positano. They said they'll send us. Extending. Did you see? Were you sent by someone who wanted me to wear the denim? Pepper mayo. But like seriously, that's so fucking cute.

And I was so excited. And like, I got the text this morning. I was like, oh, that's obvious. Brooke also did eat with the fact that I will never go overseas without you. Yeah. Like a visa. We already know what happened. No, you know what? I've never been overseas. I've never left the country except for to go to Mexico, which is like, you know what I mean? Wait, I forgot about that. I'm so excited that our first time is together. I know. But I'm like saying we need somebody there for like, you know, moral support, help, anything. But also the three of us in a box at Taylor Swift. Oh my gosh.

It's going to be the best. And with Tortured Poets Department. Oh my God, it's going to be the best thing ever. The smallest thing you've ever lived. I can't wait for I Can Do It with a Broken Heart. Yeah, especially with what we're going through today with Greg. I can't wait to be scream singing. It's so funny too that we're going to London because...

I've said this I vocalize this I used to hate London so much and going there but it's only because I only like I had a lot of bad experiences there now I love it so much because I got to like rewrite it but you're going to love London so much really I want to go to the palace how do you know I was gonna say that because I want to go and don't you think a lot of the reasons the garden see if they can

I can get him to crack a smile. The Peppa Pig bus tour. Oh my gosh. Oh, I'm so excited. Oh, I'm so excited. Yep. It's going to be, it's so funny though because a lot of the reasons that I hate London are used to are reasons I think you'll love it even more. Like I've always said, like I really don't think people from the UK like Americans and they like judge us, but you love being in an environment because you want to like prove them wrong, like type shit. Like you're going to love it. You're going to be, I'm so excited. I think about like, isn't that where Adele's from?

Probably. I want to be Adele so bad. Hello. But I'm so fucking excited.

it's gonna be everything well page surprise yeah it's my fault though i'm not i can't blame your management for doing that because it's like if i wanted to surprise her i should have told i should have battened down the hatches batten them down but listen regardless it's still so insane i'm so excited it's gonna be so much fun what if the surprise is that we were punking you the whole time no it's not happening there's actually nothing better it's so funny how like

Nice you are. Like, I would beat the fuck out of me if I was punking you and you're, like, screaming, like, down for it. You know, the other day, I, like...

I'm buying Isabella this purse right and I texted Paige wait this one's crazy I texted Paige and I said also did you order Isabella's go yard or no like because I'm getting her this bag whatever and Paige was gonna order it right and I go I'm fine with no by the way we'll go get like as in me and Isabella will go get it like I'll take her to go get it but I didn't put an apostrophe so it just said well go get and Paige responds and she goes

oh omg no i was gonna go in person but honestly i'm ordering it and i go oh yeah i'll go with bella ordering a scammy she goes i thought you meant well go get it i'm like why the fuck did you respond so nicely then she's like did you go get she's like did you order it yet or did you get it yeah you should have been like okay she's like well go get it and she was like oh omg no i was gonna go in person but honestly ordering like if i said well go get you should have beat the brakes off like that's just funny like well go get it then that is like your biggest that's one of her biggest strong suits i think is that like

we have this in common i almost think if someone's being like an asshole like we just take it funny i think it's funny like if you told me just roll with the punches like if she was like well go get it then i'd be like all right but like i'm like now like i'm perceiving that like if i said well go get it then like beat the fuck out of me i would have i would have caused a scene absolutely the way i really thought i was like yeah okay i'm excited for taylor swift i'm so smallest man who ever lived live i actually might need a 5150 after

Been there. Oh, I can't wait. We love you, Peppermale. Wait, and I really hope she does So Long London. I don't even know if that's in her set list. Of course she will. Well, but she has to. Is that in her set list? I need to figure it out. But she has to do it in London. We have to find out the set list before so we can really be prepared. And if it's not in the set list, it better be her surprise song. And I want Travis Kelsey there so that I can feel his energy in the room. We love you, Peppermale. Seriously, thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry.

Do you know that Paige told me she's only been to a cheesecake factory like 10 or 15 times in her life? I've only done Coke 10 to 15 times. Remember when Lindsay said that? Oh.

I thought you were saying that Actually like I've probably only been there Maybe like 20 Like realistically think about it I could like count them All my cheesecake experiences Well I was too poor To go to Cheesecake Factory Growing Like that's like a I thought that was like Really expensive Same It is I mean it is kind of expensive I would make men pay Awful But Justin and Mikey Wherever you are Thank you for buying me Cheesecake Factory for years Thank you Justin That is really nice Thank you Mikey But

But the brown bread every single time. That like adds up. Oh my God, it's so good. But that's why I like, I was, I was like, it was really showing for a little while on the Brooks Go Field. Um, how many Chick-fil-A sandwiches do you think you could eat? Oh,

It's my favorite conversation. I've been asking everyone this question. Genuinely. Okay, ready? You have 30 minutes. How many Chick-fil-A sandwiches could you eat before you're about to burst like so full? Three, but I would have to eat them quickly because it's like, it's the time in between the bites that makes me feel like I can eat. I agree with that. Okay, okay. What about no time limit? Well, it's like, it has to happen in 30 minutes or it won't happen. Like if I give myself more than that, I'll just feel full. Okay, what about in 24 hours? If I give myself 10 minutes, I can eat five. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Okay, okay. That's...

What about in 24 hours? How many could you have? Or just how many back to back before you are ready to fucking explode? Three. Why? Eight. I have a... I have a problem because I get full really fast but then I'm hungry again in like 20. Yeah. So like it's... I could only probably do like two fast. But then if you gave me like...

24 hours I could have 30 well if you gave me a chick-fil-a sandwich and then you gave me an entire pot of boldak and like it has to feel different to me for me to house everything but I can't do like seven marijuana is also a huge factor I love marijuana for that quick respawn we gotta call my grease I'm like someone get Joey Chestnut on the mic I want to do a chick-fil-a sandwich eat off oh my god let's do it I really think I could do like seven can we do mukbangs on patreon

Hold the fucking phone. You know what we need? Yeah. But then I'm going to have to do lipo on Patreon. And that's okay. We need to plan for the ride. Two hands Korean corn dogs.

I've never had one still. And I have to go to Korea town to pick up a cat because that's where all the good ones are. That's where you got yours. Baby kitten love. Yeah. If you don't try that corn dog before we speak next, I don't even know. Next episode I'm bringing them. I have to have the one with like the little yellow things on it. No, all of them though. The hot Cheeto one and it like has cinnamon in it weirdly too. And you know, I love cinnamon and cheese together. We need to get Trisha. No, I don't know that. Yeah. Cinnamon twist with taco bell nacho cheese. Uh huh.

You know that Oh you're right You're right We need to get Trisha here And we all need to have The Korean corn dogs That could be a Patreon special Yeah it has to be Because that kind of Gives like phallic Oh because it looks Like a ween Do you know that There's conspiracy theories That Disney released The movie Frozen Because so many people Were looking up Walt Disney Frozen Because they thought Like Walt Disney was like Do you know what I mean Like Frozen It's giving Tana Mongeau cancelled That makes so much sense So much sense

That was it on that one. I don't know. I saw a viral clip of people saying that today and I was like, wait, we could recreate that. Erin, can you pull up the Disney logo for a second? I have some shit to say. Okay. Gizney. Oh, that says Gizney. Don't say that because Lila will be on something tomorrow. That is not a D. That's a G. My entire life as a kid, I thought it was Gizney.

Yeah, could you imagine like Lylability is now like Gizney Channel. Gibney Channel. Gibney Channel. And you're watching Gibney Channel. Kind of iconic. She should do it. Wait, we just gave her something good. Oh, fuck. I agree with you. Now I want to ask if you've ever experienced dyslexia. Yeah.

Oh my god I dated this guy who was He said he was dyslexic But he was really just illiterate And it's the funniest Literally like funny I played a What's that game? Like quick quick lash With him the other day And it was so funny Because you just always knew What he wrote Because it was He can't spell And it was so cute Yeah That's good to me

Anything I could say about that situation would feel regressive. He wasn't dyslexic, though. I'm not making fun of his disability. He doesn't have a disability. Dyslexia is not a disability. No, I think it is, but you're saying he's not dyslexic. Well, he might. I actually don't know. Wait, maybe that was mean to say. It was. Here she goes. Apology tour. He's dyslexic. It's fine. Someone's got to apologize for something. But it's not dyslexia because he's not mixing up the words. He's just completely missing them.

That's me. You know what I mean? Yes. I dated someone with dyslexia. I know. Bella Thorne. She's like dyslexia's fucking number one. You know what I love about her though? You have to text her like binary. It's like 01110. I don't even know what you're saying. I'm just laughing. I have no idea what that means. I like it.

I laugh for everybody, but sometimes when I know a joke is too intelligent for me, I have to just, I laugh and then I watch it back. Like, I know it was funny and I'll do my research later. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. Do you know that she wrote an entire book and like refused to have people, I have it downstairs. There's a page about me. Love you, Bella. She refused to have anyone edit it. She was like, this is real. This is me. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And she came up with Tana Mugudu because she had known as Bella. Didn't she have relations with Pete Davidson?

I think that's Olivia O'Brien. Oh. Same thing. Right. It's basically red head. Guys, I love you both so absolutely motherfucking much. Oh, but you have to go. I have a hard out.

What if I went with you? Wait, I'm sorry. What if you waited? I want to go with you. Come with me. Alyssa Violet has an announcement in an hour. Oh, I'm so excited. I'm not. Well, because I know it's going to be trash garbage. I'm hoping it's a Clinton situation. But I, again, I said this on the last, maybe on Patreon, where I like got warned by so many people that like she would do everything to like ruin you. Lie and try to take me down. Well, I think, I think it would be me. I was the one who really reamed her.

But I don't think she has any reason to want to take me down. I just don't. Remember, she didn't know who I was until a day ago. I just, like, have spent so much of my life with, like, allegations against me that, like, aren't true or it. And I'm scared that's where this is going to go with her. And I'm going to have to, like, just have so much anxiety and, like, protect myself. And, like, ugh. Yeah. Also, though, I've met Alyssa before and she's literally so mean. So, yeah. I don't know. I plead the fifth. I'm fucking scared of her.

No, you know what? I'm not scared of her. I'm scared of having to deal with someone doing that. Announcement in an hour. Why is everyone always like dropping shit? Like, like.

we're not rappers like what do you mean july 12th like yeah what do you mean in an hour if it were a diss track that would be iconic i won't lie i think i would eat that up on yeah because you did your poetry she's coming back with her diss track honestly it's kind of beautiful oh god i'm i'm just like you did a really good poem and that everyone's really responding to it well tina you had me laughing out loud i swear to god i was watching that's all jake shane out loud i'm just saying i'll say it again like i would have never even thought to do something like that if it weren't for

warm for jake the door dash line had me in tears had me in literal tears can we just go over to patreon before i i'm gonna honestly if you haven't subscribed to patreon already here's what i'm gonna do over there i'm gonna let you guys know you fucking alcoholic what patreon patreon patreon patron okay i'm gonna be having i also could be wrong remember i correct you all the time and i'm always wrong i'm gonna be having a panic attack over there for ten dollars a month if you guys would like to join it

And then it'll be posted by K-Ball 1. Go get the Patreon because I'm about to talk so much shit. I love you guys. And thank you for listening to another episode of the Cancelled Podcast, Paige. Thank you for joining us. I think you brought the levity and the lighthearted nature that we needed this week. Everyone touched lips. You did, and I do apologize for not. No, no, no, no. We've been going through shit. I'm on a guilt day. I'm on a guilt day. Everyone's slaying. I love you guys so fucking much. I love you both more than life itself. More than life itself. Let's sit there. We love you guys. I know.

Did you? Sorry, Aaron. Bye, guys. Quietly. Thank you for joining me for Pajama Day. Guys, before I leave, I just want to plug my best friend and roommate, Emily Mask. She goes by Box Blonde, and her new single, Warmer, just came out.

And we love her. I love her so fucking much. She is so talented, gorgeous inside and out, and she is so fucking deserving. Please, please, please go stream. She deserves it more than anyone in the fucking world. And that just attests to your character that the second you're sitting on a platform, you are plugging the people that you love and believe in. And I'm excited for them to stream. That's the Tana Mongeau special. Send the elevator back down. I'm sending it. You're coming to the top, baby. Bye, guys. I love you. We love you, Paige.