83: TANA’S FACETIME WITH GYPSY ROSE BLANCHARD - Ep. 83
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Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. Okay, Harmony. Yeah, we kind of hate that up. It was giving pitch perfect. I know. Paige, we're so excited to have you back. The people loved you. In fact, they want to replace me. It's so funny how it just goes like in and out like a cycle. It's like, yeah, whatever. Just someone's always on the torch. You know what I mean? I know. That's why I told Tan, I'm like, come on, relapse already.

I'm just kidding because that's the only time they like me is when she's off her rocker. That's not true. I don't believe that. I'm just joking. I was nervous. Like, I almost told Tana to scrap the episode because I didn't think it was going to be, like, entertaining or interesting. I have a really bad eye for that because sometimes I'll be like, this is going to be received so badly and people love it. And then the opposite or like,

I'll be like oh my god people are gonna love this and they're like this is the worst episode ever I know both of you will like we'll be sitting on a banger episode and you guys are like no no no that's not the one I'm like what do you mean but it was a really good one I thought it was gonna be like decent feedback just whatever I was not expecting like overwhelming positivity I was like I know everyone's so nice everyone's like Paige should model Paige is so funny but like one hate comment and like I would have my therapist would be getting new veneers yeah

It's so fair. It's so fair. I need to get back into therapy, I think. I am so happy that both of you are sitting across from me right now because I need you to just carry this episode on your back. Uh-oh. I don't know about that. Dude, I am... We just got back from tour. Yay!

And it's so crazy because we obviously we have our four California shows left, you know, but we were all saying this. It feels like that last show in Chicago to me felt like we were done. It does because everything else is just like a friendly neighborhood show. Right. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

And it was like our last time actually being on the bus. And I feel like that was just kind of the end to that chapter. Yeah. Did you guys feel like this one felt shorter? I didn't even think it felt shorter. I felt like we were gone for so long. This one felt like six months. I know. It was almost like coming home in between made it harder to go back out. Not that it's like a horrible thing to be out there, but it feels...

it just felt like so much happened in such a short amount of time that it felt like I was gone for a year. Literally. It's such a time vortex though. Touring. Like it's, I think I was saying to page that there is something about going out with no foreseeable end date. Like if you, when you go out and you're like, Oh, I'm never coming home essentially. Yeah. So you're more in it. Yeah. You really get comfortable. Yeah. It's like, I live here. This is my life. Yeah. Yeah. And, but I think we just were counting down, not like that,

I'm making it sound like I wanted to be home so bad. I didn't at all. But I was just like, oh my gosh. No, but you can see like this five days back in LA. You know what I mean? Senioritis. Yeah. The same concept. It literally was. It felt like school before the summer break. Like every day I was like, three days left, two days left. And it just felt like the longest time ever. But then the second I get home every time, I'm like, oh man. I know. I feel the same way. I'm bored. Fuck. You know what I mean? We have to go to Cabo in five hours.

I know. That sucks for y'all. Paige, can I like, I literally in the three years that I have known Paige, I have never seen you so livid. Sorry, Ty, about going on a trip ever. And okay, it sounds like the world's biggest champagne problem because it really is. And like, I don't want to sound ungrateful or like anything because it's like, well, you have to go to Cubs.

go to Cabo. Like, okay, you're safe here. They like you already. But I'm just such a homebody and like there is nothing that I value more than my alone time. And Tana knows like- We just talked about this. Yes. I'm like the biggest recluse in the world and it's like my social battery once it drains, I'm like, I'm out for the count. You need to put your phone back on the charger. That's like what alone time is, is like literally charging yourself. Like, you know how Whitney Cummings was like, I have my energy dollars and like once they're gone, like that's it. My energy dollars have been gone since like five days ago. You're in debt, yeah. I'm in debt.

But... I swear to God, like Paige said the word, like angrily maybe 400 times. Yesterday, was that yesterday we were flying home? Yeah. We only got back yesterday. How was your guys' flight? I felt like we were flying from Singapore. Like...

My God. And I was like walking the aisle like a dad. Like, you know how like your bones start hurting? Like I had, I kept having to get up and stretch like a 50 year old man. I can't believe this is 25. Like my bones hurt so

- So bad. - Really? - So, you have no idea. - At least they flew you first class for whatever reason. - I love they flew, I flew me first class. - But they book us all just on their own and then send us the flights or at least in my experience, I got a middle seat on an economy flight. I'm like, damn.

No one even wanted to ask me. Like I could have bought it. Yeah. No, I was like hand selecting. I had to be maximum comfort. It was, yeah, it was so long. And then we got home at like 11 PM, got my hair done until two, woke up this morning and went and shot a commercial with Bella Thorne. I had a busy week.

tomorrow. Wait, I'm jealous. Can you tell me about your day this morning? It was just so like not on my bingo card at all. Essentially Bella texted me like a couple months ago and you know I always do this. She's like, hey, I'm shooting this commercial for Amphar and I've been saying I kind of want to like

do more charity stuff more mainstream stuff raise awareness for some shit fucking do something right you know what I mean and like I was like Amphar that's perfect and that's an honor to even be asked to be in an Amphar commercial and so I said yes to her like four months ago and then of course it falls on the day after tour I don't even remember what REM sleep feels like anymore I like what's a spindle I just obviously couldn't bail and I went today and it was actually like really iconic and like I'm

I kept thinking like, God, I'd be so happy to be here if I like got an hour of sleep. Yeah. But like it still was like really sick. I still can't act for shit. You already know. It'll be so cool though when it comes out because you'll be like, oh, I'm glad I did that. They're premiering it. At the Amphar Gala. I don't know how to. Yeah, in Cannes. Cannes. Cannes. At the Amphar Gala like in France. Is it Cannes? Right? Cannes.

It's so funny, though, because I was just like today as I was acting, I was like, this should not be at anybody's can. Like, I just you know me, you know, I can't act. It's funny because I think you can. I think you just can't when you're like too aware of it. It was good to act when like you don't want people to know you're acting. That's fair. That's right. Actress. Right. Like get me in bed and I'm putting on a fucking 10 out of 10 performance. If I need to lie to a straight man, let's go. But the second I'm like reading lines, I'm like, yeah.

I've seen it happen in real time too. Her line will be like, hi, I'm Tana. She's like, hi. I completely get it though. Cause it's like, I really do. I get how that happens. I just suck at doing anything that's forced into me. I don't think I can like leave my own brain and like, you know what I mean? It just like, whatever. But it was funny because you were supposed to do it. And then,

Obviously, we're just tired tour, whatever we get back. So Amari went with me today. He didn't know he was going to do it. And they just like handed him a script that literally said Brooke. And he just read all of your lines. I had lines. Yeah. I didn't know it was like that. I thought I was like a background character. I was like, I could probably skip this. Not skipping. I had a lot of shit to do today. Absolutely. No, I mean, I think it was good that Amari went like stupid.

Yeah, right. It felt like we took a little time machine to like 2019. Yeah, that is cool. Kicking it with like Bella and all her friends. Also, I don't know Bella. I'm like kind of scared of her. She was really slay today. I feel like she just, she was, I'm really proud of her. Not scared of her, but like intimidated by her because I like, you know. Me too. You know, I was a shake it up girl. Me too. She says jump, I say how high. She scares me forever, but in the best way. Yeah, she really killed it. I remember like we went to a party one time and Bella was there and you were like,

about to introduce me and you took me aside and you're like, okay, I'm just going to give you a warning. There is a 50-50 chance here. For sure. Yeah, you were like, it's going to go one of two ways. Either she's going to love you and be so nice or she's going to be the rudest person on the planet. And I was so nervous. I was like meeting her shaking. I was like, hi, Paige. She was so nice. I was probably a little mad at her at the time. I don't think she's the rudest person on the planet.

But there were so many people there that were Bella's friends that like when she did like hated me, like when she made that song about me, stupid fucking bitch. Like there were so many people that were like in that music video. And I remember at the time I like I cussed everyone out. You know what I mean? And then today I'm just being all nice to people that like my last interaction with them was like, fuck you. Oh, shit. That's kind of funny. I felt like I dealt with that after like the.

Not to bring it back to Mindy, but when the Mindy thing happened, I remembered every single person who blocked me, whatever it was. And I came back, I was like, I loved her and then hated all these bitches. So fair, honestly. So fucking fair. I remember it. Speaking of Alexis Oakley. Wait, just kidding. Alexis, well, if you're going to use that as a transition, then I can't bleep it. Sorry.

Okay, we've all grown now. We're all good now. She knows. She straight up unfollowed me so quick and I will never forget it. Now she earned her points back when? Gypsy Rose Blanchard made a FaceTime call into our camp. Okay. Twice. She did it two times. All day, Paige is like, I have a surprise for you. I say all day. It was like...

All day Paige is like, I have a surprise for you. And I'm like thinking it's literally a Crunchwrap Supreme. And she hates surprises. She was like so on edge. That's really crazy that you knew about it all day because then you lied to me about it. Okay. No, no, no, no. I was just going to, you could actually go back on the footage after I said all day the first time. I literally said I say all day like it wasn't like one hour. I just said that you can roll back the footage. One hour is still premeditated. She told me she had no clue.

That it was going to be Gypsy on the phone I had no clue I was sitting in the green room

I was sitting in the green room. They went to do their meet and greet. Michael Scott? No, I do it like Fleabag. Have you ever seen Fleabag? No. You guys were doing your meet and greet. I'm in the green room. I get a call from Alexis Oakley. I didn't even put two and two together. That was Gypsy Day. So I answer, and it's literally Gypsy on the phone. I was like, oh, there's no way. I was freaking out when Alexis was like, where's Tana? Where's Tana? And I was like, she's doing the meet and greet right now. Like, whatever. And she was like, have her. She was like, have her.

She was like, have her call me back when she's done. Do you ever leave your own body? Like, did you leave your own body? And you're like, there's no way I'm in Milwaukee right now. And Gypsy Rose Blanchard is on the phone asking. It's so funny because like me three months ago, I would have. But the Lexapro, I like didn't even care. I was just like, OK, cool, cool. Like I was just chatting it up with Gypsy Rose like that's casual.

She was so nice. I feel like everyone's asking, like, what did you guys talk about? But it was, I literally just kept calling her a hot ass bitch. And she was laughing. She looks so beautiful. I love you. She really does. Like, the Alexis Oakley beat, the blonde hair, the nose job. We're about to be twins. She's slay. Honestly. Like, that is the Tana smack pack right there. I mean, we want to have her on canceled so bad. I fear we're going to have to go to wherever she is due to parole. Yeah. Been there. Yeah.

I'm like, go on, stop listening. Her parole, but I'm so ready to have her on canceled, and I absolutely love her. It was such a, like, it's so funny because I'm about to say it felt like such a rock star moment. Like, Gypsy Rose Blanchard calls me, and then I walk out on stage. But it's like you're walking out on stage in Milwaukee with cheese on your head, and it's Gypsy Rose Blanchard, not, like, Justin Bieber. I mean... But I felt so cool. Don't sell yourself short, sister. That was a really large...

Yeah, and honestly, even just our screenshot, like a lot of people seem to care and that makes me happy because I really, you guys know how I feel about Jip Jip. I've said it a million times, but like I just, I fucking love that bitch. And there's something about like Gypsy Rose Blanchard or like Big Neck Ed where it's like I'd be more floored to see them.

I don't know if she would like that comparison. I'm comparing them two. But it's like, for me, like that is more, I get starstruck more over like that than like Kim Kardashian. 100% agree. I definitely agree. I felt like when I met Bill Nye. Oh my God. You met Bill Nye? I did. That's crazy. The science guy. One time I saw him at Life is Beautiful. Like I was at Life is Beautiful. I swear to God in Las Vegas. Who did that? And Bill Nye was there. I don't know. I was on a lot of money. He's kind of hot. He is.

Mm-hmm. Bill Nye the Science Guy is hot. Yeah. Hold on. You can still get it. For sure. I don't know how old he is. I have to look it up. Hold on. Last episode, I don't know. Well, of course you watched it. We're like sobbing our eyes out and then she blurred her feet. It's like how unserious. I know. That's so funny.

I know. They were just so bad. It was like bottom of the foot, like real nasty, nasty, scary. It's so funny too because people be like, she's so smart. She's blurring it for her OF. And I'm like, no. And I was just blurring it for the greater good of the viewer. Like they were just really, really scary. It always sends me because she uses like the Isle of Paradise, like the spray bottle. And when she sprays, like it'll land on the floor and she steps in it. You have to lay a towel down for that reason. I've made that mistake before. It's a really easy one to make. But don't you feel like...

It's wet on the ground. I do lay a towel down now, but I don't think I have the system on lock. But listen, I'm happy with where I'm at tanning wise. It's been worse. You could even hit him with a little swipe of water after. What about that? Oh, yeah. Like dip your little dog. It's better than having black permanently black feet. I know it's so true. But don't you just kind of think it's a part of who I am also? I do. Yeah. It's like something's comforting about that.

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What if I have another wine tour situation on my hands? Okay. Where I have been angered by an old woman and then I want to speak on it and then the...

yep that's it honestly speak your truth because i was there i was a first-hand witness and i'm coming to bat for you okay this helps and not that i doubt you you no it's not that i doubt you but i have sometimes brooke's always doubting me she thinks my stalker's hot i give up it's not it's crazy here's the thing like you are known for embellishing a little i'm like i'm

I know, it's so funny because it's like I'm literally the most dramatic person on this planet. And then like when people are saying this, I'm like, how dare you guys? But it really did happen. Maybe just like you sprinkled like a little extra in there, but that really happened. So essentially, I want to give a little bit of backstory for the viewer, okay? And you guys know how I am. I want to say the name. I want to say everything. But I learned some lessons from the last... Docs, Docsgate. Yeah.

Essentially, there is this store in Los Angeles, right, that I had been going to for years and a lot of other people I know have always gone to that store. And it's exactly the type of people that...

You would think go to that store alongside me. Like just like I think Elijah Daniel put me on to the store. Like a lot of my musician friends go there. Essentially, it's this jewelry shop in L.A., but everything in the store is fake. OK, so if you're shooting something or you're doing something like and you wanted to have 10 Chrome Hearts rings on your finger, but you didn't want to go spend 10 grand for it. You go to this place. Right. So it's like and it's called.

It's like all costumes. Canal Street. Yeah, exactly. It's just a Canal Street-ass store, right? But it's owned by this lady, and everyone knows her by this nickname, and she's...

She's crazy. She's so crazy. And everyone knows it. And everyone knows her and like laughs at that. And it's always been that way. And it's one of those things where you go into the store and every single time she tells you it's all real. Right. And it's, it's not. It's like, and then bless her heart. Like everything's so clearly off of like Etsy. Yeah. And she'll like overprice it. Like I held up like a Vivian Westwood necklace and I was like, how much? And she was like 150. But for you, my love,

70. And that's. She would have gotten me. I'm like, oh, just go, just go. And that's all the things are barterable. Like you, that's what you do when you go in there. Like you're, you barter and you put a bunch of shit together. And it used to be like the bee's knees. Okay. Because the prices used to be like a lot lower. Oh, she's toxic now. She also was just a little bit more normal, like still crazy, but in like a funny way. Right. But then shit started taking a turn for the worse because I think she got, people started coming in.

Like it became like a little known secret in this community in LA. And I think that she realized that. So she started like really lying to people and like really finessing. I'll never forget like one time,

Ashley got like a fake Cartier ring from her and she's like, this is the best quality. This is the best one. Like obviously telling Ashley it's Cartier, but again, a Cartier ring is like $3,000 and you're charging $250. Like, you know, it's not real, obviously. And the second Ashley left, like the little diamond fell out of it.

So we bring it back to get it fixed. And she's like, I'm going to fix it in the back. I'm going to bring it. No, I'm going to bring you a new one, something like that. Right. And she comes back out with the same ring and the thing is like super glued in it and covered in super glue. And she's trying to charge Ashley. And Ashley's like, I'm not paying you. This is covered in super glue. You know what I mean? And then it's like this whole altercation, like they're fighting. Right. A couple years ago, she sold a bunch of stuff to like,

some people and she told them it was real and they believed her and they came back and they held her at gunpoint. Like,

Because of She's been caught up a lot She's been caught But because of how It's delivered And like she's screaming At you I'm surprised they Haven't like raided her That's like I mean it's a Real crime Yes That happened like Twice I think Or three times Like people have Gone back to her And like gotten Violent with her Because the shit That she's selling Is fake And the shit That she's saying And doing And like Yeah There's always some Lore with something That's happening over there Because it's like She's so I wish I could explain it Like she's screaming At you in the top Of her lungs Like

just angry like but it's all about a good deal it's whatever and this one time Paige and I went in essentially because I we needed something for something and you'll always just pick out all the things you want and then she'll give you this total that she's making up on the spot and then like you'll it'll be like five grand and then you barter her down and like whatever and you want to take it away so I don't even honestly yeah let me have it so but she's also funny because like you'll find something like on the rack and show it to her and be like how much and she's like doing the calculation she's like um

175 And then you get up To the front She's like 350 And it's like Wait wait wait You just told me 175 And then the second That you tell her Like oh you just told me 175 Like she's fighting with you Yeah she's Like she's Like no no no no Screaming So I did witness This first hand Me and T Go up to the register We have like Our collection of jewelry And we always go through At the end Like pick out what we want Don't want whatever

And we see her like calculating everything. And by the end of it, our total should have been like 800 or something. Yeah. And we see her typing in her calculator and it ended up being like

A thousand seven hundred It was something crazy It was something crazy Yeah And I remember we were like I was like Tana What's she doing? And Tana was like Wait wait wait She stopped her And she was like Hold on hold on Like what's going on? And she has my credit card Watch her do it And she literally has The credit card Like about to put Into like the card reader And we're like Wait wait stop stop And she's like What? And she's putting my card Into the terminal As I'm telling her not to Yeah Like And we're just screaming Like whatever It's like We literally had to like Grab the card from her And be like Wait no no no Pause You're not doing that

I think you literally said you jumped over the counter. Like across the fucking counter. Not literally like, you know what I mean? But like, you know what I mean? Like across the counter, grab the fucking card, whatever. We leave. I literally have the panic attack of a century. Like, because it's screaming, like she's screaming and you can't get a word in. And it's like, and then I just decided at that point that I now, as much as I loved the deals on the jewelry, that it's no longer like a fun thing.

Little thing and then I'm done with all of that And you can buy the real thing Yeah but obviously At the time it was just nice obviously for a million reasons to buy it there And yeah I swore off it forever And then that night I went on Jeff FM And like told the story essentially And then Oh this was that recently? Yeah this was probably like a year ago But wait So she made a TikTok Okay so that clip isn't like new No Oh I thought that clip was brand new No no no no no

Oh, I think she deleted it. Oh, that's good. She probably came to her senses. Well, she probably knew she was in the wrong. For sure. But also, she was being so funny. I was like looking at some of the comments under her video that she posted and she would respond. Someone was like, I think like I believe Tana. I think this is real. And she goes, honey, she comes in and she's high. She doesn't know what she's doing. So she does this whole stitch where she's saying that like I was high out of my mind. I was literally sober at the time. First of all, like she has this whole thing.

like elaborate story and like she's just the same and I've just been seeing it all over Twitter and everything and like I feel like people are trying to make it something it's not but it's really funny because like there's so many comments on these TikToks about it that are like other people sharing their testimonies like like I came into the store and she put a ring on my finger and like made me buy it and shit like she's just nuts and this whole thing is so nuts and it's like

I don't even know. She is just like a little hustler. Yeah. But I get it. What do you call that? Like a scammer? Yeah. Just had to clear that one up for the books. I believe you. I was going to say I do feel bad because she has like a small business and I get it. She's just trying to, you know, rents due. Keep the lights on. Yeah, but there has to be an easier way. There was a point in time where she would tell everyone who came in that her husband died. Yes. To try to pity them into buying shit. And one day we came in and her husband was just there. I'm not kidding. Yeah.

I think I've seen this film before. Yeah, she was like ultimate like final boss level scammer. Yeah, you can't just kill people off. Yeah, we've always said that. Should we talk about the Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef? I feel like it's so...

We were avoiding it for a while because it's like this is definitely a girls and gays podcast, but it's so mainstream that we should probably talk about it, right? Yeah. Although I might not be completely up to date. I probably should have paid attention to Keefa when he was talking. It's so crazy because Keefa came on our podcast and before anything and went down said Kendrick Lamar is going to come put his foot in everyone's ass. You didn't call that. Okay, but Keefa would have known that. No, I know, but it's cool that we got like...

The big break from like someone in like, you know what I mean? Like who would have thought that the canceled podcast would have like an inside scoop. The exclusive. Big break on that. We just didn't know. I just, oh, it's so good. And it's probably A minor. I know. It's crazy. Did you see too his like cover art for that song is a picture of Drake's house with a bunch of like

How do you say it? Like pins basically that like show where sex offenders live. So it's Drake's house and there's a bunch of like tags showing that there's like multiple registered sex offenders like on the property. Oh shit. Oh, I didn't know that part. I saw like the pill bottles for the sleeping pills. It's Olympic.

The Ozempic and shit. Yeah. But then now Drake responded essentially saying like, you thought that you had a leak in OVO and you thought that there was a fed, fedding me out in OVO. But like I planted that person to trick you. Yeah. Right. Something with his daughter too. Like he framed it. So Drake does have a daughter. Yeah.

He doesn't have a daughter. I think I might be totally wrong. I think he's claiming. Yeah. Yeah. Is that real, though? Or is it just like could be like such a funny cover art and not funny? Sex offenders are never funny. Thank you, Brooke, for the clarification. Honestly, I think the funniest thing ever that was like during Coachella and like Dreyfuss

Drake and Rick Ross were going at it, like beefing with each other on Instagram, like going back and forth on their stories. And Rick Ross was calling Drake like BBL Drake. Like we see everybody's been saying that. Do you think he got a BBL? I don't know, but it's so funny calling him like BBL Drake. And Drake posted like a screenshot of text with his mom being like, don't listen to Rick Ross. Like he's loopy off the Manjaro. He goes, he goes, he just performs at proms for money now.

That's such a read to fill. You're loopy off the Manjaro and you perform at proms now. And Rick Ross is like coming back at him going, save the BBL shit for the girls in the YSL heels. I,

That's funny too. Imagine being a girl in the YSL heels. You're like, what the fuck? Like catching strays. Dude. But too many people at this point have said that Drake has a BBL for him to not have a BBL. I swear. I think it's more like a dig at his personality being so BBL girl coded. Yeah. Oh, I thought it was like he like literally, but because I could fully.

fully see him i think he did get like he's got that belly button i think he got ab etching i was is he like caked up no i'm so serious i could see it like i could i feel like drake is like a pretty girl literally go back to this but i went to the drake concert and i came out here and i said i don't know i don't like how he was moving you did you did bbl girl though like that's exactly he was kicking his feet like he was like running and kicking his butt when he ran oh like yeah yeah i heard it here first like

I like and I listen to Drake more, like way more. And like his responses, I also do think were really like great to Kendrick. But like,

It's kind of getting eaten up, no? Yeah, I think so. It's hard. There just has to be a winner and it doesn't always have to be your favorite. It just has to be whoever won the fight. Because I think Kendrick chose like psychological warfare. Like they doing it all in a minor. And there are certain, yeah, there are certain... Letter to the Grams. He did an entire song. Do you know this? Opens it up. Dear Adonis. And like the first...

set of bars from the song is all about like if you don't understand what i'm saying now come back to this when you're 18 like be nothing like your dad he's so embarrassing like yada yada then moves on to drake's mom like oh that's so dangerous though like when people get into the kids like i remember when people were coming at hayley jade and eminem was like

started setting people on fire. What were you going to say? Oh, okay. It's funny too because like one of the lines in Drake's song is like Metro shut your hoe ass up and make some drums. And then everyone was like he has them cornered like Metro has no choice because it's like either he drops like a diss track then it's like okay Drake

Made his rap career start Or he continues to make his beats And it's embarrassing Because it's like You're doing what Drake said to do Yeah But he did He made a beat And it's literally like BBL Drizzy's in the beat And he put it to the public And he said I

like everyone hop on this track whoever makes the best diss track to Drake can get the beat for free oh and is that the one where it's like the the girl singing BBL Dre yes oh I didn't know Metro Boomin did that I thought like AI did that like you never know anymore you know what I mean I had no idea Metro Boomin did that that's iconic I know and he opened up like and was like everyone have at this man you know there was a point in my music career where Metro Boomin slid in my DMs right

And we started, but not because of my music career. Let me clarify that. Like he slid in my DMs.

Trying to hit, I'm assuming, right? And we started texting and he would like only want me to come over at night, obviously. Of course. And then I'm like, I was trying so hard to like. You're like, let's get in the studio. Yes. And I did that to so many people during my like music career, like at the time. And it was so crazy. I thought you were going to say I was trying so hard to get him to go out in the daylight. No, I was trying to get him to make me a beat and he just kept leaving me on scene. Like, duh, Tana. Like, what were you going to do with that? Yeah.

like imagine Hefner on a metro boom and beat no like no I think it would have slayed do you guys think that they're all sitting around though like have you ever been in something where you like feel so clever and you're like laughing do you think they're like giggling at their phones or do you think I'm saying to me like yes it's rap beef and it like sounds so hard but to me it's just a bunch of little girlies like angry girlies making poetry someone I saw tiktok about that yeah

Like it's, you know what I mean? It's just a bunch of grown men writing poems about it. Beautiful poems about each other. You know, Drake's like kicking his little feet to smiling at his phone. Imagine typewriter behind him. Yup. His acrylic nails typing up, click clacking. He is that meme. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

Yes. Plus his heart. But also, what the fuck do we know about rap? At all. Or about either, like, the parasocial relationship. Well, we know about drama. We can speak to some drama. I know someone who fucked Drake, though, and they told me that they think Drake fucks like a girl. Like, did he? I heard that as well. Oh, like, you're pegging. No, I think... I don't know about that far. No, I think that we can't start that rumor. No, but it was, like, he was, like, kind of, like, girly, but, like, feminine. Like, he's moaning. Yeah, like, he's like...

I'm imagining the faces like, you know what I mean? He's arching. He's like, he is a little oof-oof girl. Woo-woo, Drake. No. Oh. No. Yeah, I can see it. Oh, my God. Aw, man.

How come no one's gotten Gypsy Rose on a beat? Okay, next topic. But just imagine, like, I'm on a high right now. Miami. I'm positive, like, somebody's Diplo has done that already. Right. Yeah, I know. I know. But I want her, like, in the steel cooking. You know what I mean? Like, imagine her at Zouk. Come on. Come on. Okay, should we stop with the rap beef of it all? Is this enough? Yeah. I mean, I've covered all of our bases. Right.

And then some. I want to talk about Naked and Afraid, the television show. You know there's a new one. Naked Attraction? You told me what you were going to say, yeah. I know all about Naked Attraction. Naked Attraction is an amazing show and I think they should never stop it. It's a British reality show where everyone dates, but they show their genitals first before their faces. And...

It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my entire life. But do you like eliminate people based? Yes. Yeah. Yes. Oh, I don't like like that. He has a bush. I would be kicked out first round. Circumcised. I think so, too. They would see my titties touching my knees and be like, oh, yeah.

What kind of sick fuck do you have to be to go on that shit? You have to be. Yeah, that's weird. BB in the corner smiling. I know you would do it, BB. I was about to absolutely shit on the type of person that would do it. And then I made eye contact with you and I'm like, you would do it. Oh,

but what if someone would do it so quickly a grower and not a shower that's kind of like unfair you know what i've had so much experience with that lately yes that i grow like growers and it's i love growers it feels like those little things that you drop into the water and then they're not they're not exactly right that's just like that the little dinosaurs or whatever yeah but and like do a trick come on that's the thing they're not like

hard at the time so it's like what if it's just like a little like and it's so funny too because it's like the people will eliminate the people like oh i don't like the way he's standing it's like no you don't like that uncircumcision yeah like i love a hood have you ever honestly same camera sent me what did you say it's like blind leaf huh what when you look into the camera blind leaf what is it

Who wheezed? Who's wheezed? Is that you with the whistle tone? I told you I'm out for the count today, dude. I'm out for the count. Speaking of who's whistle tone, dude, I love that we started with the good attraction. But do you know that like...

so long ago, so, so, so long ago, Ariana Grande's DMs with Pop Crave on Twitter got leaked, right? She was DMing with Pop Crave and they all got leaked. Allegedly, this is all alleged, but in the DM, she was talking shit about me and Jake Paul and now they're resurfacing again and like, I just got tagged in like a- I could see it. Remember when she came for Bryce Hall? What? She what? Yeah, Ariana Grande or something, Saddle Ranch, whatever.

super spreaders honestly she probably came for me for you at the time honestly 100 it was essentially she said like i feel so bad for their kids god damn she ate with that one but honestly the fact that ariana grande knows you is crazy it's that's just it's crazy that it's like resurfacing again because i've known about this like there's a lot of people who know you that you probably don't think about like kamala harris

- I'm so bold of you to assume. - No, I know she does. She's like outside also. - Well, I mean, when I saw that clip of her clearly barred out, you think you fell out of a coconut tree.

Like lower the Kalana Pindos, diva. I was like, wait, maybe, you know, we're more alike than. Right. To me saying that me and Kamala Harris are more alike than different is why I need to draw the line. Like I didn't mean that. I'm a different person. I think I could stand behind it. And when I said that. Like I understood what she was saying too. I was like, facts queen. Naked and afraid.

Naked and Afraid, the television show. Okay. I have always heard about it. It's kind of a household name, right? And we all, I'm naked and afraid. We always talk about it, right? I've never sat down and watched a full episode of that show at length until the other day on tour. Because that's one thing with tour is you get footy with the cable television. You're going to say footy. Okay. You get so footy with the cable television. Like the amount of hours of ridiculousness I have consumed is just unbelievable.

ungodly like there'll be no Netflix on the TV so you're watching whatever's like on you know what I mean Reba love that show just rediscovered it due to the cable you know what I mean um Naked and Afraid was on first of all dude it's just like I understand that it's exactly what it says but like they put these people in the middle of the wilderness buck naked with nothing and they have to like figure it out but their ass crack is out on live television it's like I'm like what if something crawls up in there I know and it's like

That's where a bush would come in handy. Like they're hugging for warmth, like grown men and they're just butt naked, like dicks touching type shit. You know what I mean? And it's the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen in my entire life. They don't even blur the ass crack. They don't even blur the ass crack. They are like...

hairy hole out on national television scavenging these grown men foraging imagine signing up for it like how what do you have to be that's the worst part tana was like like what amount of money would you do this for and i was like honestly it would have to be like 500k like no shoes out in the wilderness like not that i have a number for what it is i feel like i know but i'm desperate but she literally was like i was thinking she was gonna say like 500 million or something the

500K put me out in the wilderness. Well, how long are you out there? Three weeks.

That's a really long time. They do it for free. The people who go on Naked and Afraid do it for solely the satisfaction of saying, I survived Naked and Afraid in the middle of the forest. Dude, I was just watching one of these episodes. So it's a guy and a girl. They don't know each other, right? And they get out there and they finally find their water source, right? And they're dehydrated. Think about it. You haven't had water in like two days. You finally find a...

creek and you're stoked on the creek right and this bitch shits in the water source they're naked she starts shitting in the water source in front of this man like that's a whole thing what the fuck on national television that's another thing now they can't drink the water she ends up drinking the water and she gets

sick people fans write in they write in and they're like please I would love to go on whatever there was a clip the other day of someone holding up their newborn baby at home and it was like my dad is going on naked and afraid on the baby's one like it is the most fuck

Alabama shit I've ever seen in my entire life. The obsession with the show. They do it for free. I don't understand. Dude. Oh my God. I just. Yeah, that's got to be some sort of like weird fetish. Like there's not like what do you have to gain? Well,

And what do you have to prove? What do you have to prove? I know. And then all of this, mind you, by the way, it's on the Discovery Channel. Hey, that's where I'll draw the line. No, no, no, no, no. I love the Discovery Channel. I'm not shitting on the Discovery Channel. But when I was... Until...

48 hours ago, when I thought Discovery Channel, I thought like Credible, Globe, you know what I mean? Like .gov. It was so .gov to me until 48 hours ago. And then when you watch this fucking show, what the fuck? And every other show on the Discovery Channel is like Skinwalker Invasion. Yeah. Like, I saw a little people like wrestling situation. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They had like a show called Mud Baddies or something. It's like these hot girls like,

Like in like RVs Like going through mud Wait I kind of love it I just I didn't know The Discovery Channel Was like Got down like that Dude and Paige was saying Like imagine all the people Sitting around Like pitching Like naked and afraid Like Trevor Wallace Do a skit on it Please He's the only one Who could accurately Depict that Completely Put these people Out in the wilderness No food No water No cell phone They gotta be naked What the fuck

What the fuck? What the fuck? And it's just, I was like, no clue. It's just, you need to watch it. I can't even like explain it. Like I was watching these two grown men swinging, like rubbing sticks together for fire. And then like a helicopter comes and gets them at the end. Imagine being the person fucking flying the helicopter and you just see these people like balls out. Keep it moving. It's just, I just can't even actually believe. That is fucking crazy. Honestly though, maybe I'll go on. Just for the fun.

I love people who fuck too. There are seasons where people fuck. But like all dirty and like in the bushes. But at that point, like why not? That's how I feel about like showmances on Survivor. I'm like, y'all haven't showered or wiped. You know, you know, I can't even try to act like I wouldn't do it. This might be a conversation forever.

for us. It was so funny. No, I would for sure do it and there's like, oh God, Survivor. At the beginning, not even COVID, like literally last year, I got so into Survivor. It was like not even okay. Last year. I watched like 36 seasons in like three weeks. Last year, I applied for Survivor. Like on my own time at home. I think you would literally slay a Survivor. It is my dream show. Maybe not like the physical aspect, but like

- Like the manipulation aspect? - Like your social game, I feel like you would slay. - I would love to go on Survivor. I fully like filmed a self tape, like out them and like sent it in like, "Hi, I'm Tana Mongeau." But I was like probably drunk. - Wait, what's the premise of Survivor? Is it like a fear factor? - Get this. - X naked and frayed. - You have to survive.

That's it. It's not very, like, fear factor. There's not, like, a lot of, like, things like that. But it's a lot of physical challenges. And also, like, it's a social game. So, like, people form alliances. Was that what JoJo Siwa was on? No. But it's, like, hers was more. Oh, no. I mean, that's a real, like, question. She was on, um.

So Special Forces. Oh, which is one of the best shows I've ever seen in my life. Like out in the wilderness. Yeah. They always have different sets. Like so it depends like and the conditions will be different. Sometimes it'll be like a rainforest. Sometimes it'll be like it's always different. But I'm not winning Survivor. Like, don't get me wrong. Literally, obviously. Oh, fuck. No, no. I just want to. I literally just I feel like it's like one of those things where I just want to say I like I was on Survivor.

Like that's it. Everything else sounds awful. But it's like so much manipulation, like making someone think you're on their side. But like really, you have an alliance with like these people. And you're like, it's like the Hunger Games. Yeah. And I love the host, Jeff Probst. Yeah, he's amazing. I think he's so funny. He gets hotter every season. I know he's been hot for like, since I was six. You know, I love guys like, you know, like there's certain guys who like literally get hotter with age, like Patrick Dempsey. Matthew McConaughey. Oh, my God.

100% That man's going to be In the nursing home And I'm still gonna Oh my god The things I would do to him That's my one person So Oh my gosh Age is like fine wine His voice too Just does it for me Everything about him I cannot believe That somebody like that Physically existed on this planet And he's not my husband I know And he will never be You know what else I was noticing In the cable TV of it all My topics are all written When I was just Absolutely stoned after I'm loving it 4am

But I'm laying in bed about to fall asleep, right? And all of a sudden, Billy Mays comes on the TV screaming at the top of his lungs about the ShamWow. And it just brought... You remember him, right? Like, it's so crazy. Because I was in Vegas the other day and also had cable TV on. And it's like, Vegas is a bigger city. And like, all of the commercials were very much like new age. Like, they were literally for like Ozempic and AI and like a new restaurant and like yada yada. But the second that we're in like Milwaukee...

It was like a 2007 commercial for like the ShamWow. It's so crazy. There was like a commercial for Bobcats. What's Bobcats? Like the tractors.

Oh, I thought you meant real Bobcats. I'm like, what are they, endangered? They're here in, like, Wisconsin. There was a commercial for Bobcat vehicles. I was like, there's no way. I didn't know. That's really all I had. Just rest in peace, Billy Mays. Isn't that so crazy that marketing was like that at the time as well, though? Like, just this random man is screaming at you, screaming at you, gun to your head through the TV to buy this rag that you can keep rinsing out. And, like, it made billions. What about, like, the bump it? Or, like, all the infomercials had a bump it.

Oh my God. Or that straightener that like straightened wet to dry. No, you use that. Oh yeah. But your hair sounded like popcorn getting made in the microwave. Yeah. Like there was just no way in hell. Oh my God. Billy Mays death was like a really pivotal point in my life. I feel. I 100% agree. Like, do you remember? I was devastated. Remember where you were? No, but I also don't remember like 9-11, but I do remember like Billy Mays. Oh yeah. How old are you? Right now? 26.

but i tell everyone she remembers 9 11. i'm so convinced that i remember literally like two there's no way i know but i do but you know the walls were told a story somebody's not like you probably learned a story or that story so young that it felt like it was a memory

yeah you're right i don't know what's what you know what i mean like that that i think i remember and i probably don't remember but it's because i was told the story at such a young age that i forgot that it wasn't that i don't remember but i like to convince myself that i was like two standing there and i was like i remember it out of here barely like i barely i was five which is crazy yeah billy mays

There was a whole time, I mean, me and Tana just like got so violently high every night of tour. Like we'd go back to her hotel room, smoke like three joints and then just have like the craziest discussions. But I was telling her I'm on ghost TikTok right now. Well, yeah, that's what, yeah. And I get so scared about it, but like I think it's so interesting. But I was saying to Tana, I'm like, what's the end goal? Like, let's say like...

- Okay, okay, stick with me. Like a ghost, like a demon's haunting you, right? Like spooky, scary. They finally possess you. Now what? - I don't know. - Like what's the point? You wanna be me so bad. - Like they just become like a super villain? Do they just like wreak havoc on the town? - Honestly though, I think you could say that to a ghost and they'd give up 'cause that's embarrassing. - Right, like what are you trying to do? What's the big idea? - Paige, I feel like this is gonna get you possessed.

That she never quits. She just like starts acting possessed. That'll do it. Paige and I had to have a sleepover because we were in a haunted hotel. Yeah. I'm like too weird about ghost stuff. Like even when people start talking about it, I'm like, no, no, no, stop. Like someone will ask me, do you believe in ghosts? And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, you get freaked out. Like I, cause I just. I believe though, like that most ghosts are friendly and like they probably keep us safe. After my sleep paralysis stints, like I fully believe in demons and I think that it's just like, I want to.

Like you don't know me, I don't know you. Listen, you know what I mean? I'll leave you alone. Yeah. Like I'll just. You have to do like I don't think we've any of us have done anything to like really piss off a ghost. I probably have. You know, Anne Frank is like stop talking about me, diva. Yeah, but I feel like she's got bigger fish to fry. Yeah, she got some ops.

Did y'all see Kim Kardashian get booed last night? But I think it's unclear if she was getting booed or if her joke got booed. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because it's as she's walking up. Tom Brady's roast? Wait. Yes. No, it's not. She gets booed when she makes the Kevin Hart short joke. I saw it as she was walking up. I saw a clip of her walking up getting booed. No, she says, I know people make fun of you for your height. And then she's getting booed. No, but I saw one of Tom Brady's too where she was getting booed. Not Kevin Hart. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah.

Damn. I don't know, but she kind of ate though. I know. Like when she left stage, people were cheering for her crazy. Karma is a relaxing thought. She's literally Kim Kardashian. It doesn't matter. Oh yeah, but that's the thing. Is it thank you Amy that was the reason for the booing? I've been seeing all these TikToks that are talking about how

People are theorizing that this is the year that the Kardashians get like flipped on their head. Oh, the downfall of the Kardashians. Yeah, and that like... They are really so powerful that it's like no one lets you remain in power that long. And if you think about the way that our culture and society is now, like everything good eventually gets...

You know what I mean? And it's like... Pulled from the top. Yeah, everything that's like... Yeah, like... And I, like... Isn't that kind of crazy? That is... It's interesting to think about. I'm eager to see, like, if anybody else... Even just people already seeing people's, like, reactions to, like, their Met looks and stuff. Like, it's... But I feel like Chris would be on top of that. Chris would be like, okay, fine, you guys. Hold tight. It's a flop year. Everybody...

Like, what is everybody do your least? Yeah, that's fair. That's what I mean to like prep for something like that, because they know they're like the most, you know, they're probably sitting on some like valuable tea to drop. Like Kendall's going to be a lesbian. Yeah. And I feel like they were about to say Kendall gets spotted with Hasbulla. There's just so many of them that they can all like take one for the team here and there. It's like if one of them has to like get in like a major scandal to stay relevant. Yeah, that's fair.

Do you think Courtney Loki loves to see it too? Like Kim getting booed? Oh yeah. Are you kidding? She put, yeah. Oh yeah. Whatever. What else? Tom Brady roast was fucking hilarious. Did you see Nikki Glaser? No, I need to watch the whole thing tonight. She's the, she won. She is so funny. She's so funny. She's such a fucking icon. She really is. But I just like, oh, I admire her so much. I'm like, God, I hope one of our friends gets roasted one day. I know. It'd be so fun.

We should do like an at home roast session. We should or we should do like what Jason Nash used to do with like. I was thinking about the other day. Hosting a roast with like. It would be so slay if we like got all of our friends together who were down like Whitney and like Jeff and like Trevor. Yeah, it'd be so funny. We should do some shit like that eventually. We'll do a Tana Mongeau roast. I would have a field day. They would be like flashing the light. They're like, get off stage. They're like pulling you off. They're like, time's been up.

I love like when you hit the pre giggle. That's how I know it's going to be good. It's not even good. Amari and I were just in tears last night, right? We always are just making a joke about like when I leave, like what PR I'm going to come home to. And we equate it in the house. We always have about like, if I come home to a lot of PR, it's like, you're on top right now. The brands like you. Like if I come home to no PR, it's like you're in your flop era. Like you're irrelevant. Yada, yada. I come home.

Granted, it was two weeks of tour. This is all such jaded influencer jargon. Okay, so like no one needs any PR. I don't need anything, obviously. But I come home to like a TikTok shop envelope and that was like it, right? And Amari's cooking me like, Kenna, you're in your flop era. He literally verbatim said, you need to get back on your PR game.

Right. And I'm like, Amari, this is a simulation. Right. And then Brooke's story looks like the Kardashian Christmas. Yeah. I was making jokes all of tour too. Like you just come home to like a hot pink Bronco, like a smeg fridge. Like just the difference. I genuinely need to show you. Wait, hold on. Look at the difference. That's just insane. I don't know.

Here's my thing though. I wasn't doing as well on this tour as I have in the past. And so every day that I felt bad, I needed like some sort of like impulse, like situation. So I was buying things too. Half of that was like, should I bought myself? Thank you for the pity.

It's so fucking funny. It really is so fucking funny. Well, thank you to those two PRs. Yeah, you want to keep it in your bag in the life? No, Paige, I promise you it was like shit I ordered off TikTok shop. Dude, I want to have like a little segment on here where I share funny stories of like working for you. Oh, God. I have one under your belt that I love to hear every single time. Just because I'm going to be on like once in a blue moon. I just feel like I have to sprinkle in some work lore. You're stuck here. But yeah, go ahead. I know.

One of my favorite Tana stories of all time. This happened like a year ago and I'm home in Massachusetts. I'm in Massachusetts. She is in Ibiza. Ibiza, I tell you. Or Ibiza for the pretentious people. She's in Ibiza away, miles away. And I get a call from her and I go, what could this be? I answer, I'm like, hi T, she's so drunk, hammered in Ibiza. She goes, the Wi-Fi doesn't work in the villa. Yeah.

I'm at home in Massachusetts like this. Like using telepathy to get her Wi-Fi to work. Like what could she have done? Dude, I have, I'm, Paige, I'm so sorry for the amount of time you had to work for me while I was drunk. I thought you were about to tell the E as in Enema Snoopy Charger story. And I was- That woman's up next. I was-

I was clenching. I forget how this came up the other night, but like I was spelling something and I said like V as in vagina, right? And it was like the only word that could come to my mind. Do you know there's an actual alphabet for that? And it's not like something you just like. Like Bravo, Charlie. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that. Oh. But I like to play the game. Yeah, I like to play the game where I go off the top of my head. But like Paige and I also, I guess this all started with crack packing, right? We coined the crack pack.

Our workplace environment is so toxic. Wait, crack pack or smack pack? Because I've heard you say two in this episode. No, no, no. Smack pack is like when you have like some good shit happen. Yeah. Or like a good set, like a smack pack for me would be like a pickle talkie gusher. Okay. Right? Or you know what I mean? Or like if we have a joint and we're watching like Naked and Afraid, like that's our smack pack. Oh, yeah. Crack pack is when you pack for a trip. Manically. But...

I would say 95% of the time you are wildly inebriated on whatever substance of your choice. Okay. Some work better than others, obviously. Of course. For packing a suitcase. And when I lived at my last house, I feel like I was at the peak of my, it was just alcoholism. It wasn't even camp anymore.

You know what I mean? - It was scary. - I can think of so many times where we were packing for a trip that we're leaving on at like 6:00 AM. I was thinking of one the other day where like the power would always go out there 'cause it was in the hills. And I remember I'm hammered walking around with two lit candles, like wax spilling in the pitch black dark.

Rolling clothes. We were having a damn near seance packing these bags. We had like 10 candles lit around us in a circle. Hammering bags. But there was this one night where we were leaving. We were going to the Versace mansion. So it's already like if you're leaving to go to the Versace mansion. Yeah. The state you've got to be in. For sure. At that point. And I want to like.

I drank probably two bottles of wine. Oh, she was two bottles of Josh deep. Oh no. A lot of Xanax. Yeah. Yeah. She took, she took a bar or two and this is, she calls the hotel. Yeah. She's sober. Thank God. Um, damn, I can't believe I stuck it through. I can't either. Honestly, those were dark days. I'm so sorry. It's okay. We were, we're better than ever, but she, she didn't even get the sentence out at all. I'm like, the trauma is coming out. I'm like, ah, ah,

She calls the Versace mansion to like check something for our check-in, right? And she's talking to the operator. And mind you, Paige is like, I'll do it. I'm sober. I'm sitting next to her. It's my laptop. And I'm like, T, like, it's okay. I got it. Like, I'll pull up the reservation, whatever. She's going, no, no, no. Let me do it. I got it. She's opening up like 10 tabs of the same thing. I'm like watching her just like twiddling my thumbs like...

She's like, it's okay. I'll do it. She finally pulls up the confirmation after 20 tries. She's like, her eyes are crossing. And she's on the phone with the operator. And she's like, okay, are you ready for the confirmation? She's going through the letter. She's like, Y-Z-E-E as in enema. Okay.

Oh no I literally went Like there's no way There's no fucking way And I'm so I'm just It had to be a simpler choice He is an elephant Tana Marie And so I'm just like hammered I just started dating Kevin too For like three weeks And I remember I was telling him I loved him Like you don't No no no The best part

So I, like, finished packing her stuff. We were, like, checked in for the hotel. I'm like, okay, T, like, you're all packed up. I'm going to go back to my place and pack. She goes, I'll come with you. I go, it's okay. You don't have to. She's like, no, I'm coming. Okay.

Okay, great. The thing is, you can't tell drunk Tana anything. Oh, no, no, no, no. So she gets back to my apartment, right? First of all, she gets on my bed, shoes on. She's like under my covers with her shoes. I'm seething. I'm like, no, no, no. I'm trying to pack as fast as I can. She's like drunk, rolling around in my bed. And she's like, is Kyla home? Because me and Kyla are neighbors.

And she's like, is Kyla home? I'm like, I don't know, Tana. She goes, okay, I'll be right back. She goes missing for 20 minutes. I finished packing my stuff and I'm like, where is this girl? I go to Kyla's apartment, walk in. Kyla walks out and she's going, you have to get her. You have to get her. I walk into Kyla's room. Tana is down on all fours under the bed. Kyla's cat is under the bed. And I walk into Tana just going, meow. She's going, meow. Meow.

Meowing at- This is my boss!

And you have a very serious job. Oh, I was like, there's no way. I'm so sorry. I kind of love that story. I love cat pussy Tana. Oh, no, no, but just wait, just wait, just wait. So I finally get her together. I'm like, all right, Tana, like, let's go back to mine. Like, leave Kyla alone. She has work at 6 a.m. So Tana finally comes back into my house, right? She's on my bed again. Shoes on, rolling around. And I have this, like, Snoopy stuffed animal on my bed. Oh, no.

have this Snoopy stuffed animal on my bed and she has the Snoopy and she's like playing with it like like whatever she's like oh my god Snoopy like how drunk do you have to be to go four year old on these hoes literally so finally she's I don't know she's kiki with Snoopy I finish packing my bags and I go Tanner are you ready to go and she goes no I don't have all my stuff I go you didn't bring anything with you what are you talking about she goes

No, I need my Snoopy charger. What on God's green earth is a Snoopy charger? What's my Snoopy charger? She has my Snoopy like and a grip.

He's like, I need my Snoopy. I woke up the next day. I don't think I've actually ever had anxiety that bad. And it's like you're going to Miami. Like you haven't even started what should be the anxiety activities at all. It was so bad. Dark ages.

Yeah, Paige, I don't know how you've stuck it out. I don't either. Thank you so much. I'd be dead. God bless you. That's why we're getting along so well. We really are. Life is good. I love my whole Samara. I'm so livid to be going to Cabo Sober. Well, you know what the thing is? I feel like you can do Cabo Sober. I have done Cabo Sober. It's actually not Cabo Sober. It's like the fact that I know everything. Everyone else is strong.

Snoopy charger. Yeah, and yeah, that's the most frustrating feeling in the world to just be like you stupid fucking idiot Yeah, it's oh my god. It's just gonna be a mess. I think everyone's gonna be doing their big one. I'm so sorry It's not gonna be fun. Hmm. I think I'm happy massage is that's literally all I'm gonna do I'm just fuck off with my color like honestly, oh, it's gonna be great. How long you guys here like three days I just talked for a year downstairs. Of course. Oh, man, you can bring the Maui. That's true. Oh

So as you guys know, I have been petitioning and petitioning and petitioning. I fear I might have gotten got. Okay. And maybe I'm jumping the gun on this. I didn't get got. And I shouldn't be saying any of this. No, I think it's a valid thought because I've been having the thought for you. As you guys know, I'm now I'm doing your. I love it. You're breaking the fourth wall. Still bird. I forget what it was again. Fleabag. Fleabag. Fuck. That's a term too. I don't know what's wrong with me. Blind leaf. Yeah.

I've been promoting Morphe's Makeup Talk lip liner since the dawn of time, and I love it more than anything. Brooke, put me on, because if I don't say that, she's going to beat the fuck out of me. Well, no, it wasn't that you didn't say it. It's that she was asking Morphe for a Makeup Talk collab. And I go, you know what would happen if I saw you pop out with a Makeup Talk collab with no mention of me whatsoever? I'd be like, where'd you get that? I think you deserve the collab. I think it should be a canceled collab. Honestly. And so...

Exactly. Eventually they discontinue it. I'm really upset about it. We never stopped talking about it. I'm making a bunch of TikToks late. Like I've made some crazy TikToks, obviously just joking like.

saying like, I hope the CEO has a bad day. They did tell me they relayed that to the CEO and he laughed, but I probably shouldn't have said that. But just like a lot of jokes, whatever. Lately, I've been amping it back up again. And little did I know, we made a TikTok literally less than a week ago where I was saying like, Morphe, please bring this back. I will never shut up about it until you bring it back. Little did I know they already had a plan in the works

to come visit me or at least send me makeup talk. I don't know, whatever. We're in Chicago. Paige again is like, I have a surprise for you. I'm like thinking it's the Crunchwrap for real this time. And the Morphe girls walk in with boxes of makeup talk for all of us. And which is so amazing. Like I have enough makeup talk until I'm in post-mortem. Okay. And that's awesome. And I love it so much. And I'm so happy I've been down to my little nubs and like...

so on and so forth. Right. I'm not going to lie to you. And maybe this is my fault. Like maybe I'm like really thinking of myself as something I'm not, you know what I mean? But I'm like, there's no way they flew all the way out here just to give me some lip liner. Right. No, it was a beautiful business venture for them. Yeah.

Exactly. And I know I loved it. It was I. I'm literally wearing it on my hat as we speak. Like, we love it. We love them. They came. But then at the end of it, they're like, and we've restocked 500 for your fans. And then maybe we'll give you a collab. Like, first of all, the fact that. No, no, no. What they said was that they if they sell out the 500, then they're going to bring makeup talk back. No mention of a collab.

Oh. That's what I think is like a little like questionable about it because I'm like, not only did you just sell so many lip liners. It's sold. I posted it. And they can make more money. Yeah. I posted that it was back for me.

For them and for the fans, obviously, because now I have my 40. I wanted to let people know because I do think it's the best. It sold out in three minutes. That's crazy. And I have no check. I have no check. I've been doing so much free work for Morphe. I literally I want to give them a time limit. And if it's like at that point, they haven't done it. I'm getting to the lab or I'm collabing with some brand that wants to. No, that's how I have certain brands that I've mentioned so many times that I'm like, if you don't work with me, I'm going to start telling people like it made my hair fall out. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And here's the thing. No one owes me like shit. That's not why. That's not the point. The point is, is I have gotten swindled, I think, into doing way too much free work for more people. Yeah, that's what it is. And like, oh, this, God, it is hard to say it without...

And meanwhile, you know they're giving Meredith Duxbury her 80th skin tint and billboard. Just knowing like how much money these influencers have made off of their Morphe collabs. I know it's like tens of millions of dollars. So I just think it's kind of crazy. It was so nice that they did it. The gesture and everything was so nice. But I just thought about it like really in my head after and I was like...

All it did was it was really smart for them because that now they're saying all kinds of shit. They really did. Maybe that's the thing, too, is like that. They're like, you're going to keep making jokes about like showing up to our headquarters with a gun. Like, we're going to flip this on you. But it's so funny, too, because you're like on your 20th TikTok, like raving about Morphe for free. Like, meanwhile, is rotting downstairs for six months. And I was like, hey, girl, can you maybe post that today?

And she's like, Morphe makeup talk. Yeah, I have to. I'm just so authentic to a fault. My takeaway is that Tana sells. She can sell a product. But that just is the thing at the end of the day. Like, I could sell so much more of a product than an influencer who converts less than me and the brands are going to choose...

The brand safe option every time. It doesn't mean that's just bad business. I'm like, I wear makeup too. I don't get it. Cause it's like, I really will never understand that. Cause it's, you really, people buy so much shit just cause you have it. Yeah. I want it.

I know, it doesn't make sense. It is what it is. That showbiz baby. I know that there are people who have said, I saw an alien, right? You know? And I've probably been one of those people. Snoopy Charger, I was probably telling you all about how I saw a UFO, right? Like, yes, people say that they have had spottings, but it's not like people are just kicking it with aliens in a Waffle House, right? Like, it's not like aliens are having meet and greets, right? It's not like...

There's not real cold hard cash in the alien community, right? And think about the fact that it's so... Like normalized. Like it's an emoji. Or so popularized. Like we all know what an alien is. Why? Why?

Why? Like, don't you think it should be like a myth that's like barely known? Like aliens are as known as like cows, dude. And like, why? We had this whole breakthrough when we were so high. Yeah. I don't know if I could get behind you guys on this one. But it's just like for how little we have known and seen about aliens, it should be something where like maybe we're in a room full of 10 people and I'm like, oh my God, alien. And someone's like, what's that? Like, why does that? Why is it in a moment? Okay. Well, like, like we've never personally been to Mars, but we know that Mars is there. Like,

That's what we know that. Well, there's there's hundreds of years of like research and stuff about other planets in space and whatever it is. So like like there there's just an implied understanding like that there's life. But do you really think aliens should be as famous as cow? If you were Dutrick. I wish you watched the roast. That was the did you see the Gronk joke? Oh,

Oh wait Yes yes Oh the crypto He's like This money ain't real Yeah Okay aliens didn't hit That wasn't No I get I get what you're saying Why is alien as famous as cow And alien There's like a We see cow We can also picture an alien Yeah That's what I And like we all collectively Like know what an alien Looks like It's a green Fucking like little Teardrop shaped Big eyes It's just Aliens are way too famous For what they've done Maybe it was E.T. Right

That used to scare the fuck out of me when I was little. I'm so obsessed with E.T. That's my favorite character. I have E.T. everything. I would just love to have a light up finger. He's so cute. He used to scare me so bad when I was young. That's how I feel about Furby. I think I was scared the first time I watched it too, but I just love that movie so much. Like his little scream. And little Drew Barrymore. I love Drew Barrymore so fucking much. I literally would die for her.

I know I hate so much when people get mad about Drew Barrymore like touching them or people try to make jokes about that. Like if Drew Barrymore was like sitting on my lap, like I would be the happiest person alive. She could wear my skin. Yeah. Literally. I would want her to like caress my face gently. Me too. She's so safe. She's such a safe person. You know, she's like so good in bed with like her touch. Okay. Like, you know what I mean? Like you think she's a gentle lover. Sorry, Drew.

How did we get here? There's something healing about her. I was so quick. We're like, oh, she's so sweet and kind. You know she's throwing it back. But that's not what I mean. I don't think that Drew Barrymore is like reverse cowgirl fucking own finger in her own ass. Like, you know what I mean? Maybe. I just think her touch is like seamless and beautiful.

Yeah, I think she's like, okay. I get what you're saying. I hear you. Just like think about how much she's willing to touch someone on live television. Like what's she doing? Right. Okay. She want you. Back to alien talk really quickly. I saw Theo Vaughn get asked a question that was like, if you were to use like choose one human to be a spokesperson for the entire human race, who would you choose? Like if aliens came and invaded and we can only put one person forward to like represent us, who would you choose?

I just saw this clip this morning. He just goes, a Filipino guy? I think I would use Drew Barrymore. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Adam Sandler? He's a good one, but I kind of feel like he'd be like, what the fuck do you got me here for? Theo? I know. No, that's not a good representation. No offense, but they will kill us all. Put Trisha Paytas on the front lines. Oh, yes. Literally, yes. Put Trisha Paytas on the... Oh, my God. She could give them like a full rundown of all history in five minutes. No, they just know everything about Quentin Tarantino. Right.

That's the important shit. She'd have them like try a mozzarella stick. A blingy cup. Yeah. God, I love her. So much. Wait, do you know that like we are so close to her giving birth that like this could be out and there could be Elvis? Yeah.

That's so crazy. Oh, my God. I'm so excited about it. Let's see my notes. I gained five pounds on tour. That's a really small amount to gain on tour. Tour is very very- No, no, no, no, no. Not like collectively this past week and a half. Oh, that's fine. You can gain five pounds from literally a really big hot dog. Well, we were doing big backtivities. Mm-hmm.

We ordered a restaurant called High Broken Hungry and I had to have like a full reevaluation of my entire life when I found myself in Milwaukee eating a deep fried Uncrustable. I know that restaurant was in somebody's kitchen. Like all the photos were like taken on a Samsung Galaxy 2. It had three stars on Uber Eats. Like it just it was delicious though. Honestly, if you're in Milwaukee, order that shit. I love space food.

me too like just like like robot food like no human supposed red 40 coma red 40 overdose i'm my new hyper fixation is indian food i can't stop eating indian food at all times always i had it before i came here today i had it last night i'm on the bulldog train heavy i know you're yeah i've been there i also had that yesterday i had to steal a pack from you i'm not kidding before we leave we have so many i got a lot from the meet and greets i love you guys for that

Let's see. Oh, I have... Just like any random thought that came to me I was writing down. I guess it kind of ties in with our Cabo lore. How we have so many allegations that we've hooked up. Oh my God. It's not that out there. I know. Which is like very believable and very much in the realm of possibilities. But like... People really think we fuck. But you're right. Like we're sitting here like, why do they think that? Like I know why they think that. We're damn near scissoring it. Yes. Didn't you like...

say it one time like on your own or something? Probably. I probably said I fucked you or my fans. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we have a meme of us. Did you find the photo? I will. I will. And I'll send it. My birthday trip when we were all in Mexico. I love.

And Paige and I came back to the house holding hands. We were making out though. Oh yeah, you guys did hook up that night. What are you even talking about? But we didn't fuck. Yeah, I mean hook up like. Well, what do you guys think about saying hooked up to mean make out? I think it's just a blanket term. It can mean anything. Yeah, that's true. Really, when I say hooked up, I mean like specifically like have sex.

I don't think have sex, but I think more than make out. Like if I like suck dick. Yeah, that makes sense. Like that's hooked up with me. I think there was just a large period of my life that I genuinely felt like making out was like shaking hands. And that's a horrible. It's so fun and so casual. Hey, Diva. Oh, my God. Do you want to come tell your Harriet's on La Cienega and Sunset Story? Or have we already told that? Oh, that was so good. I think we have.

What's that? You don't know. Oh, you didn't work with us yet. Did you? No. I don't. With us is crazy. Like we're all just one entity. It was Amari's birthday and we were at Harriet's on La Cienega and Sunset. Well, y'all were.

Oh yeah. He was telling this story last night to Zach and it's up there with Snoopy Charger. Stop. Essentially, it's Amari's birthday and so we do a dinner and you know I like to like plan Amari's birthday and whatever so I'm like, I'm gonna host him an after party at Harriet's on La Cienega and Sunset, okay? It's a rooftop bar for those who don't know and I'm so hammered that I get to the after party and you know how I was at the time with throwing parties and shit. I was very much, I still am with throwing events and shit like,

If I even see gaps In the room Like I am inviting everyone Like I want You're putting that shit On Craigslist It wasn't Nobody could get in And we were all Everyone's like waiting downstairs Zach B is like the one Bringing people up Well here's why And nobody can get in Nobody can get in I posted What is happening Like why can't anyone get in Like what is going on

Oh my God. On my close friends story. My close friends for those who don't know has like 2000 people because when a girl needs to finesse, I just put it on my close friends, whatever it is that I want. And I put come to Harriet's on La Cienega and sunset. And I almost got literally charged with inciting a riot and Amari couldn't get into his own birthday party. Like it was,

so many people and we're like where are they coming from and then it's like fully on her story I forgot about that Amari do you have any additional lore you want to come talk into this mic

that is so fun or just your POV like how you felt but yeah Paige clearly I'm so excited I'm like oh my god I'm obviously like tipsy with gypsy having a great time and I'm like oh my god Tana's throwing me an after party this is so fun Harriet's iconic right now you know so I'm like I show up and I'm standing down there for like 45 minutes because they're like we're at capacity we're at capacity I'm like why are they at capacity and I like I'm on Instagram and I see her close you're like it's my birthday no literally it just has come to Harriet's on La Cienega and Sunset just like

Stop. So that's why. And I'm like, it's my birthday. 2,000 people is like a small town. And they were up there. I had to wait for like 30 people. No. It was literally shoulder to shoulder. Nobody could move. No, I forgot about that. It became a meme for a while. It was our group chat name for like at least eight months. It became such a meme because you know my inviting the mailman problem. It was more so that she was like, I have no idea how this happened. Yeah.

She was, "What is going on?" And none of us thought to look. And when we saw it, we were like, "There's just no way you played dumb this whole time." - We obviously, you know I don't remember. Was I just saying, I have no idea why these people showed up? - Literally, she was like, "Where did they come from?" - I know, but I'm texting her. I can't get up. - I haven't talked to her in years. - She's like, "Why?" As she's getting knocked around by people.

I'll be like, it's so spacious up here. No one's here. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Okay, guys. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the canceled podcast page. Thank you for joining us. Our lovely third cohost along here. Oh my God. Stop it. Stop it. But keep going. No, thank you guys for having me. This is fun. We love you guys so much. We're headed to Cabo to ruin some lives. We're happy to be back off tour and yeah,

Yeah. Bye. Bye.