74: ANSWERING YOUR TERRIFYING DATING QUESTIONS with Tara Yummy - Ep. 74
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Today we have on everybody's it girl. Everyone wants to be her. You're my whole fucking for you page. You are your everywhere. And I've known you forever. And like you were just I love to see this. And I'm so happy to have you on the pod. We've been talking about it. All right. Yummy. I'll cry right now. It girl is crazy. You are the I saw a tick tock that was like, you're either Alex or Tara yummy. And I'm like,

All I want to be is Tara. I mean, it's funny because I just I have my like, I don't want to call you emo because I don't want to miss a misgender. I wouldn't say I'm emo at all, but that's OK. That's what a lot of people say. And I'm like.

What's the like word for your type of style? I don't know. I always say it's like Paris Hilton and Marilyn Manson had a baby. Oh my God. That's the best thing I've ever heard. You know what I mean? Yes. That's what I always say. Like Y2K. I would say it's early 2000s. Just like a little bit more alternative. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like I was trying to go through my like Sophia Richie phase and be all clean girl and then like seeing your stuff. That's like where my heart's at. Like I'm so 2000s grunge. Like you make me want to get an eyebrow piercing. Fucking everything. And everybody's back into it. I feel like clean girls out. Everyone says so.

And I'm like, everyone says so. Brooke said no Slickback bun today. Everyone says it's out. So it's out. I just have no sense of personal. Like I can't even do anything. Me either. I see one thing, dude, I swear to God, I hung out with you. And then I spent like that night in my bathroom for like an hour, like smoking out my eye, like cross necklaces, like slutty. I was taking all these. That's crazy. I saw, I saw your TikTok and you were like back in my unhinged era. Cause I want to be Tariami. And I'm like, I learned it from you. So it's like, and I caught

someone commented being like, you were the OG. And I commented back. I'm like, Tana literally was the OG because like I learned all my, no offense, bad behavior. And 100%, 110%. It's, but you're like, it's funny because the other day when we were filming, we like took a break for a second and you were telling me a story about like some actual awful, crazy, like real Tana coded shit you did. Like, but I just don't post about it like you do, but people know. Yeah, for sure. You were telling me like, so you were like, I did some Tana shit. And I was like, no, you didn't. And then you told me and I was like,

God damn. You were like, that's really bad. Don't actually do that. And I saw a comment that was like, if Tana says it's bad, it's bad. That's it. It was definitely up there. It reminded me of a crazy era. Sugar, what do we do? Calm down. We might need to get sugar on the mic. You're embarrassing me. I only told you guys he's so good. And now he's just embarrassing. He's perfect. Honestly, it cannot beat the dog that straight up scammed me the other day. I was so excited. I'm not kidding. I was I'm standing. She's like, don't pet the dog. The dog bites.

And the dog chose me. Okay. Came right up to me, got in my lap, licking me. She's like, Oh my God. Like he loves you. Like you're good to go. Immediately. The second I tried to pet him, he bit me. I was like, well,

Well, the thing is, this dog that bit her, the owner of the dog is a billionaire. And I was like, Brooke, why? That's like the first code. Like when you get in a fucking car accident, like if they're rich, your neck hurts. Yeah. If that dog bit me, I would have been on the floor seizing like I had fucking rabies. And you didn't? You were like, it's okay. No, I'm playing the long game. You're too nice, I feel like. No. Really? That's like what you were just saying where it's like people just don't know. Aw.

Okay. She's fucking evil. She would tell you. If Tana says it's bad, it's bad. Well, it is funny because everyone's like, Brooke's so sweet. And she is. She's the sweetest human, like morally. You know what I mean? But like we get along so well because we're crazy antics. Right. I'll do some Tana shit on the side too. I'm just a little less public about it. And I think that's a really good thing. Now I feel like I want to air everything out. I am having like such a digital footprint crisis lately. Why? What happened? Did something come up? No, nothing came up.

Wow, that's good. It's just right for once. But like, no, I don't know. Just we talked about this with Trevor Wallace, but just like some of my sex stories, like the shit I've told on the Internet, I'm like...

And just since I was so young. You can't take that back. You really can't. The toothbrush. I can't look at a toothbrush ever again. Every morning and every night when I wake up and go to sleep, I think of you. That's honestly beautiful. That was romantic, but it wasn't meant to be. But I tweeted the other day asking if anyone's ever masturbated with a floss pic. Like the water ones. Oh, okay. Because I thought she meant like one of those little hooks. Me too. And I was like, oh.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That'd be crazy. Like stabbing your clit. Sorry. But like, you know, the water. Speaking of digital footprint. Someone clipped that. But like the floss pic and then everyone was tweeting me back like, what's with you and like dental items? And I was like, yo. I know you have a kink. That's kind of weird. You should fuck a dentist. Well, I love your boyfriend. Do you know that I like have a big fear of getting my wisdom teeth out? Because I think that when I come out off the drugs and my dentist is there, I'm going to be like, I've always loved you.

And like try to fuck him. He's honestly kind of hot. We have the same dentist. I think we should get him out together and make a whole thing. Do you go to doctor? I don't, but he's like a celebrity dentist, right? Yeah. My uncle's my dentist in Maryland. So that's cute. That's probably better. Yeah. You know, not exchange. I'm scared of the dentist. So I'm so scared. I'm so scared of the dentist. I literally have a video on my channel called like facing my biggest fear. And it's me going to the dentist. I have a video literally with the same title and it's me going to the dentist. Wow. I love that for us. You guys are the OG YouTubers. So yeah.

Don't reel me into that because I'm not. She was telling me before you got here that you I was saying to Brooke today that like I think it's a really special feeling when I know someone and I feel like

Like you just have always really fucking put in work on your shit. And I think there's two different types of blowing up, like someone who blows up by accident. And that's awesome, too. All right. Yeah. And whatever. But it's such a good feeling when like like I see you right now getting all the recognition in the world. And it's like you've put in so much time to your craft and you're good as fuck at this shit. And like it's just it's awesome to see. And it's.

Thank you. I was telling you I like don't miss Mondays. Yeah. I post every Monday. Do you really? I posted every Monday on YouTube for like four years. Like that's crazy. I never committed to anything for four years. At all.

And like the editing and like I always feel like especially like even how I've always filmed YouTube videos when I did. It's like my iPhone propped against a water bottle and like whatever. Like when I film with you, like people who really take it seriously, like the lighting and the sound and the thumbnail and the whatever. Like there's so much to learn from someone like that. And it's just you slay. You've always taught me shit. Thanks. Well, the only reason I'm like that is because of my ex-boyfriend. He's like super anal about like. I'm so happy you said it because I have so many questions. I know.

I was trying to do a good segue. See? Yeah, you kind of ate. Yeah, I have a podcast too. Yeah, you're a podcaster, natural. He taught me everything I know. And I've talked about this before where I like, he like has been my mentor in this for like years. And like, I would never be even an inch close to where I am now if it wasn't for him. Do you really think so? I know so. I think. He's taught me everything I know. Give yourself some credit though. No, I do. I do. But truly, truly, truly like,

I'm so stubborn. I don't change. I don't evolve. And I wouldn't evolve if it wasn't for him. That's actually really beautiful. It's like we were just talking about like

how good of terms you and Jake, your ex are on is so admirable and insane. Like, and you guys were in a very public relationship for a long time. And yeah, like, I mean, I'm sure you can attest to this, just what that does to your psyche. Oh, it fucks you. Yeah. It fucks you up so badly. People don't think about that. When I would watch YouTubers, I'd be like, oh, public breakup. And now I'm on the other side of it. I'm like,

How do people do this? No, it's a... I can't even scroll my free page without seeing like a video of us from when we were 18 years old like hugging and kissing. Slow-mo. Yeah, like the edit. When we broke up, I was like, please no one make sad edits and now everyone's making sad edits and I'm like,

Nothing sad. And then it's like the sad edits have you thinking to yourself like the edits. I don't know if this is just me. I talk about this all the time where the edits like make you live that alternate reality for a second. And you're like to them, it's like a video to you. It's like your reality. Yeah. And you're like, wait, am I sad? Right. And it's like, I like won't be sad one night and I'll see like a video. I'll like send it to Jacob. Like this one had a kick to it. We send them to each other sometimes. We're like, this one kind of had a kick. To be on that good of terms with an ex is like so admirable because I'm not kidding. I don't think I have one ex that would be in the same room as me. So are you guys? Not one. Under.

Like all of it, you know, I have, I think both like I get both ways, but a relationship like that, like a long ass one. Yeah. Almost like yours. I really love someone like it's so like if he hooked up with someone else, like, could you guys still get along? Are you seeing other people? Well, yeah. I mean, if we're single, so I know. Yeah, I'm sure. Oh, you're so powerful. Are you? Nevermind. Am I okay? No, no, I'm never. How more? I don't know if I can say more. It's not my business.

Oh my God. I just can't even imagine being that mentally healthy. I'm not. Oh, it almost makes me feel better to hear you say I'm not. It's not normal to, you know, be so close with your ex and like watch them be single. I mean, I'm sure he could say the same about me, but you live every day and every day is a new day. And like, because we're so adamant about being on good terms and being such good friends that every day you learn something new and you're like, okay, well, I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. Will you ever get back together?

I don't know. I don't think I know if I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning. Girl. No, I mean, like, you don't know the future. I don't know. That's fair. Maybe. Maybe not. Like, it's just the way life goes. That is true. That's it. I love that song.

That's true. I get where you're coming from. It's just, oh my God. It's, it is just like a wild, like anomaly situation. I've never seen anything like you guys. That's what everyone's saying. And I'm like, wow, I haven't seen anything like it either. And I'm like, wait, that's me. It is, but it gives me hope honest to God. Cause I'm like, not that I don't think I could ever be on good terms, but I just am so emotional that I can't, I can't watch. I'm so emotional. Really? So, oh my God, I cry every second of the day. Oh, not because of that. I'm like, that makes me feel better. It doesn't make me feel better, but I'm normal. I'm not fucking crazy. Like I,

Like I am crazy. You're not like a sociopath. No, I'm not a sociopath. I feel things. Yeah. But every like we're so we care about each other so much on such a deeper level than just our relationship breaking up that we every day we try to be friends. It's not like this is easy. Yeah. It's not easy. That's fucking stupid to say. Have you enjoyed being single? Like what? Yeah, I think so. I think the single life after like years of being with someone is it feels so foreign at first. And it was weird. Yeah. How old are you? I'm I'm 23.

Why did I think about that? I mean, same thing. And how long were you guys together? Since I was 18. Oh my gosh. So I was never like a single adult.

Yeah. So that's like a whole transformation or transition. What type of guys are you like noticing that you're gravitating towards? I think, you know, it's funny. It's like I like to think I have a type where it's like people that look like my ex-boyfriend, just like more like, you know, bad boy vibes. Yeah. But I've, listen, I'll take what I can get. Like if I think you're hot, I think you're hot. I'm the same way. You literally can like look at all my guys and it's like. Yeah. It's like, it's like a random toss. Like it's like someone put like a simulator thing and you went. Yeah.

And it was like, it just depends. Anyone who thinks I'm funny. I was just talking about in Vegas how I would totally, if I was single, fuck Drewski. And I had the biggest crush on him. Who's that? I don't think I know who Drewski is. Like Jack Harlow and Drewski. I don't know who that is. Hold on. Lost on me. Everyone was like, you should fuck Drewski. Okay. Wait, I thought you wanted to fuck Drewski. Well, I'm taking him. This is where we get into trouble. And then people think we compete over God. It's a whole thing. He looks like this. Oh, I know.

know who he is wait where what have i seen him from he looks like this he just does funny stuff with jack carlo and everyone's like you really don't have a type because it's like i saw him on theovon's podcast yeah he's a comedian duh okay well you should have led with that i won't go for any comedian yeah love a comedian although i'm trying to get out of the face yeah except for the new one

There's a new one? No. Comedian? Sorry. You do have a new crush on a new comedian. I know, and I have to stop. It's always the funny guys. And you know what? They have audacity. Hey, Cam, mine's sending me over our new Wi-Fi password. Oh, sorry, Mitch. You can't be trusted. Watch your phone. It's different than mine. Cam! And I thought I was a judgy one. No, it's just messages between different devices aren't encrypted. Okay.

Since when do you know about encryption? I know what encryption is, and it's because I'm the last line of defense against any would-be Wi-Fi thieves. Cam, come on. Okay, fine. I'll send it somewhere more private. Thank you. Safely send messages between different devices. On WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone.

let me tell you so much comedian guys have so much fucking audacity because they think they rule the world i think that's what it is it's like the blind confidence i'm like i don't like it the blatant narcissism and i wish i were unattracted to it but unfortunately i'm not i'm literally like i believe you and i love you that's i feel that right and i'm wrong every time i've never i have a zero percent success rate so far and i'm willing i'm just trying to break it but i have to

At the end of the day, I think when anyone makes you like laugh, it's just like it's up and it's stuck. That's everyone's like questioning Selena Gomez being with Benny Blanco. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? He's the funniest person. She seems so happy. Whatever makes her happy. Yeah, so funny. And also, I literally do not think he's ugly. Like the most all the comments are about him being ugly. I saw him in person and I saw him in person too and he's cute. I think he photographs Batman.

Maybe. Yeah. Because he intentionally kind of doesn't try. I think I think that's like kind of his whole thing. But he has like like the lightest eyes. He's like he's like a pretty guy. His leg is so funny. Like Brooke, that's so you coded being three legged. No, no, no. Like how his leg works, but he just holds it up because he like wants people to think he's three legged. Yeah, because I used to like fake injuries when I was a kid. Oh, no. I think it's real. Yeah. Yeah.

He has patella luxation, so he can't straighten it all the way, but it works. So it's like people are like, I put him either in a stroller or I walk him, right? If he's in a stroller, people are like, oh, he's so fat. Why don't you walk the dog? But then when I walk him, they're like, oh, his leg is hurt. You're a bad dog, mom. I'm like, his leg's not hurt. It's a whole thing. That really is honestly a whole thing. And he's just scooting around. He's fine. He's just tripodding around. He's fine. I've taken him to many doctors. They say don't do anything. It's a whole thing. It's like what?

I love when dogs have little quarks. That was, oh my God, I was going to say eight awful words and like, I almost said like disability. Don't say disabilities. Like quarks, eight. We're media trained. I like when babies wear helmets. She's like, I've got nothing to say about that.

Welcome to the Canceled Podcast. This is so fun. Do you know what kind of like the TikTok, like now every TikTok you've posted. Bro, I have no idea what happened. Have you always been posting content like this and people just kind of like caught on? People are taking clips from like me and Jake's videos and like one-liners I say they love them. I'm like, that's just who I am. It's just what I'm saying. I don't like try and make audios. But I swear to God, you could blow a damn kiss to the camera and it's getting 10 million views right now. I don't, which I don't get it. Cause like why wasn't it getting 10 million views?

Four years ago. Has anything changed? No. Have you noticed? So nothing's changed. So this is something I'm going to, again, say exactly what Jake said, my ex-boyfriend. He said, he's like, you've always, this is so sweet. He's like, you've always been a star, but like not enough people saw it. Aw. So sweet. So kind. I know. Now I'm, why do we have to say, as my,

my ex don't say nice shit. Well he said he's always said that. Yeah. Okay. You guys have a really different dynamic to where like I just go to be kind. When it comes to work he's very you know honest and kind but and I get it because it's like I haven't done anything different so I think just more eyes are on me now. I guess I mean like has anything changed in like people the way people have treated you or like like people reaching out like your DMs.

Yeah. Tell me things. The amount of verified checks in my DMs now and I'm like, I'm not even verified on anything. Are you getting like hot guys? No. I need to know everything. Just girls. I feel like it's probably more fun though because like when like someone like Alex Earl blows up, it's so new that there's not a lot of content and you have like so much to look at. That's what everyone's saying. They're like, they're like, the good thing is, is you've had four years of content that people could look back on. And people can catch up and then they're like so in love with you because they're so committed. So much more. It's all good, non-embarrassing content too. No.

Okay, so recently I know. So speaking of being single recently, I noticed and I realized out of a relationship, all my content is public. And by that, I mean, my crush could go and look at the most embarrassing video of me on the Internet.

recently I had a crush on this guy and he FaceTimed me and pointed at me and laughed while watching my joke song I made this joke song when I was 18 called curfew about how like my mom still gave me a curfew at 18 years old and he like played it we all did it right played it on blast pointed at me and laughed as a joke and I'm like oh my god

Everyone sees my stuff. It's not just girlies. Like it's guys I have crushes on. Yeah, that is. That's the thing is it's when you get that wrong audience. That's what scares me about TikTok because like you can post for your own audience and it's one thing. But TikTok, it just goes viral. Yeah. And then people have all these opinions. Yeah. And then you get like so scary in the comments and you're like, I have to die. Yeah. I posted a video taking a plan B for like the girlies.

And it somehow got to like the wrong super Republican TikTok. And I was just getting death threats. But I also got a brand deal from it. I also did a plan B brand deal.

There's actually can look into that. Yeah, that is so crazy. There's like a website that you can like order it from. That's good. No free plugs. I really don't want to take any plan B this year, though. That is like your goal. It's a big resolution. That's going to be hard. I know I took one like January 1st this morning, like literally actually take it as my multivitamin every morning. She's not going to lie, but I'm trying to I've only taken one this year and I want to end the year saying that I'm not a scientist.

correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it true if you take enough, they stop working? Like I've only taken like probably two in my life and it ruins my body literally for the next five months after that. Like my periods will be so horrible and stuff that I'm like, this is not worth it. I think I'd rather just have a whole kid and raise him to 18. Oh my God. We have a friend who like she takes Plan B and it makes her go into like psychosis. What? Oh. She takes it and it like really mentally affects her. I didn't even know that was a thing. Yeah, because it's like taking, it's equivalent to taking like five or six births

birth control pills at once and it's hormones. So it's like pumping your body full of hormones. I was about a dead ass look at you and be like, there's got to be an easier way. And then I remembered condoms. For sure. There's a lot of birth control like in general is just abstinence maybe. Yeah, that's just not an option. But I used to do that in college all the time. If I couldn't like I literally didn't have $50 to buy plan B. So I would take five birth controls at once. And it's it is not recommended, but it does the job.

Wow. Don't do that. Do not ever take medical advice from the canceled podcast. You know, one time Brooke on this podcast said that she uses, um,

a magic eraser to get self-tanner off and I gave Lauren Gray chemical burns on her neck. Like she was like, I use a magic eraser to take my self-tanner off. Yeah, of all people to do it. And then Lauren Gray did it and then she got chemical burns. And see, that's what I'm scared of is like all these eyes on me. I'm like, I'm not a perfect person at all. It is like, it is so scary. Read the fine print. Right. Yeah, it's just like, I always try to say, just do as I say, not as I do. Like I'm just actively living my mistakes. Like, and it's, it is scary for sure. Oh.

So, you know, but I think you've got this down pat. You're going to, you're going to slay. Oh my God. To be single for the first time would be like so fun. To be single. Wow. I mean, again, it'd be so lit. Honestly, her situation is. You think that, but like, again, it's all girls. It's so far. You're not too far into it. But still, like I'm saying, let's say in a different world, you and Jake, it was a revenge type of breakup. That would be so fun.

You know what I mean? If he was a bad guy, let's say he did something bad to you and you guys broke up right now, I would be like, fuck. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, I'm blowing up. But so is he. He's doing so good. Yeah, you guys all, like, I love it. I see everything everywhere and it is, like, fucking amazing. God, that's so healthy. I love that.

every day every day is a battle okay that helps honestly i don't i don't want you to suffer by the way i'm not suffering i just got back from his house and his parents are in town from kansas so i got to see them what do they have to say nothing about you guys being broken up come on no nothing they're just the sweetest people in the world god i still talk to his mom all the time i'm same yeah i get it

We've never done an advice segment before, but we've always talked about it. Are we equipped to give advice? Yes. Based on what I've heard so far, I think that you're the only one here qualified to give advice. I don't know if I am. I'm friends with my... Do you know how people think I'm a red fucking flag? Because also in my relationship, I was like the least jealous person. I don't give a fuck. I'm like the biggest flirt. I'm like the least equipped person to say any of this. But all of this kind of... All of this...

All of this circles to like security though. Like all of those, like you're just secure. You were secure. You were with someone who was secure. I'm going to get so much hate. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you are. I'm ready for the hate. You're not going to get hate, honestly. Cancel this for the girlies just like us, for real. But it's so funny how you phrased it. You were like, we've never done an advice segment. I'm like, we're running out of topics. We're like trying to stack episodes before we- No, but people have always asked us to do it and we just haven't. But like-

I will. My problem is like, I'm just, again, the magic eraser. We are not equipped to give. I almost think it's camp though. To give like, like, like this is what we would do. Yeah. At this point, if you know me and you think that my, like my advice is going to be Tana Cote. You know what I mean? Someone fucked her with a toothbrush. Whoa.

But like they digitally. No one fucked me with a toothbrush and you know how much that hurts me. I'm so sorry. Wow. I had a whole Spotify show called Tana's Toxic Tips and people would call in and I would give them my toxic advice, you know, so I think. So take this with a grain of salt. Yeah, this is canceled advice. And we just started an email called thecanceledhotline at gmail.com. If you guys want to reach out and ask for any advice, we would love it. Please don't reach out and tell me that you need me to Venmo you or anything like that. Is that happening?

It's happening to me too. I don't know when it started, but all of a sudden I'm getting 50,000 Venmo requests a day. Me too. I get a million. Is it like a trend? I don't know. Do people think I'm rich? Because I'm not. Same. And I'm like, I feel bad because it'll be like something so horrible. It'll be like, need groceries and stuff. And it's like, I don't want them to get a notification that's like Brooke declined. Yeah. So I'm like, God, I just have to...

Yeah, I'll cash out people now and again when the notification shows up on my phone. Sometimes I do if I need a good boost of karma. But I don't have that much money. That's really fair. Someone reached out to me on Venmo for like an entire year asking for money. And I never gave them money. So they went in and like hacker like mode made like embezzled money from someone on Venmo as me. And now I'm banned from Venmo. So I guess I should have just sent them the fucking money. That is crazy. See, that scares me.

I blocked my ex and the only thing I didn't block him on was Venmo and he Venmo. If you have never talked to a man on a payment service, you don't know what trenches are like. You definitely haven't. Nope. Never. I'm friends with all my exes. Fuck. I don't burn any bridges. I'm friends with people I've been friends with since kindergarten. I love that. I just sometimes the bridge just burns its damn self in my life. Like the gasoline's there. There's a couple. There's very few people in my life that I've stopped talking to. Very few. Honest to God, that's.

I guess true for me too. I guess I just think about like my major relationship being just bad. And that's really it. That's normal. I'm not normal. And I've come to terms with it. I've had my toxic eras. I have a lot of people who don't want to talk to me. And to be honest with you, like I understand why. I would still want to talk to you. That was cute. That was really kind. I just want to say last night I was in bed and I was reading these. And like, how do I say this without sounding like a fucking c**t? People got some s**t.

OK, like some people are going through some shit out there. That makes me so sad. Yeah, I don't. Sometimes it's their fault. You'll see. OK, I want to start with the craziest one. Should we start? OK, there might be some crazier ones, but I read this last night. I had to reread it two times. I read it to Makoa. I couldn't. I can't stop. I could recite it completely, but I'm just going to read this to you, OK? OK, I would love to get some advice for one of my good friends, Rachel.

She grew up in a chaotic household. Her mom does hard drugs. Okay. She didn't need to include all this, by the way, she read her friend to fill flow. That's lore. If you will. So she ends up moving States at 17 to be with a guy named Greg, who was 18 that she met online. They fought, he cheated, but it was her only like person. They were together for four years. And once she turned 20 years old, he got violent and she kicked him out and she began online dating again. So far, Rachel's kind of, you know, she's winning. She kicked him out. She's saying whatever. Good girl.

Rachel met a new guy, Cam, and they instantly hit it off within a short time. They were mixing friend groups and hanging out. Within three weeks, they were dating. Not even two months later, Cam was moved in with her. That's some real ass shit right there. You know, sounds like a red flag. Yep. Yeah. Well, you know, kind of. They were really good. But her ex, Greg, kept hitting her up. After a few months, she caved and met up with Greg. That's where she went wrong for sure.

Eventually, their car hangouts turned into car fucks and she would pick up Greg regularly during her shifts while going home to cam every night. She managed to keep this up without them ever finding out about each other. She called me six months later telling me she was pregnant.

Cam is black and Greg is not. She told me she's super white. I don't really know what that has to do with anything. I asked what she was going to do and she said she would break the news eventually. This is some old me ass shit. Slowly, this lie snowballed and Rachel ended up telling both guys that the baby is theirs. I knew a girl who did this growing up. Her name was...

And then one of the guys died. That's horrible. Both families think that the baby is theirs. Cam and Greg's mothers are both buying baby gifts, not knowing that Rachel has no idea who the father is. I keep telling her she's going to give birth and both sides of the family are going to want to come. And she doesn't acknowledge it. She relies on Cam for rent. Greg's super crazy. She's my girl regardless of her position and I'll always be on her side in her corner. She asked me for advice and I don't know what to tell her.

Oh, wow. A lot to unpack. That's like an episode of Maury. That's exactly. I was just about to say that. Like, who's the father? They should just go on Maury. Yeah. Well, they're going to know who the father is. Right. That's what I was going to say is like, I think her including their races really is going to be. You know, if she had two guys that looked alike, like we wouldn't even have to cross this bridge. Yeah. But that gets a lot of people in trouble, too. Here's my thing. You, I think, can do a DNA test now in utero.

So like she I mean, that's too late to give her that kind of advice. Wait, pause. I always thought in utero was like when people say like in retrograde. I'm not kidding. I was just going to say like that sounds like a weird ninth planet. I don't even know if I use that properly. But I think you did. And I think I'm wrong while you're pregnant. I think like you have to be certain like ways along. No way. But I believe but the person usually I think has to be like aware of it. You can't just like it's not like fuck.

a lock of hair it's like a swab and like a serious situation dude i always i also again i'm i don't know have you ever been with a guy and he was gonna leave you and it was toxic and you told him you were pregnant or no just me no no i've done that a few times obviously um and i remember back in the day like guys like i want a dna test then and me being like well you're gonna have to wait nine months wait so wait how did what did you say when you didn't have a kid right

I would just egg it on. This happened to my mom. My mom, one of my sisters, like the dad did not or her dad didn't believe my sister was his. So he just like was like, handle it yourself. And then my mom got in a car accident when my sister was a baby and he was a fire. He was the fire chief. So his unit like went to the scene of the accident and they were like, that is your baby. And he was like, OK, fine. And then he took her. What? What?

You just dropped crazy lore. Yeah. See, that's the proper use of lore. Fuck. I do not. I'm going to have to ask my mom if she wants me to tell that story. Funny thing, by the way, about canceled podcast listeners is do you want to know what the subject line of this email was? What? Double daddy lore. That's hilarious. Like,

just like hilarious dumbing brain rotting all of that down to just double daddy lore um if I did have to write one of our listeners it would so be this by the way this coded I don't know what's real advice well we're praying that it's cams yeah right

Obviously. Didn't you say that they want to remain anonymous, yet we use names? I'm assuming they're not real names because she said, I want to remain anonymous for my current. Okay, okay, okay. I don't know. Yeah, please keep my name anonymous. I'm assuming she used fake names. But then Greg's crazy. So if it is Cam's, then like... Oh, that's just so scary. And it's like, how do you... She obviously has to handle the situation before she gives birth because what's she going to do? Have two families there? I mean...

That's something I would do. Just wait and just leave it up to like you're giving birth. That's already such a stressful situation. Families like cover stuff like this up all the time. Uh-huh. They'll have to say like they adopted a kid or something.

I had this friend in high school. It was a bad time for me. It was like my Molly era and all my friends were like little crack. My Molly era is crazy. My brain looks like Swiss cheese. And it was like all my friends were little like Molly crackies. And we were like all we all had glitter on our faces and fucking played with little rave gloves and like whatever. And then I have this friend. We can call her like Stacy. She is Stacy gets pregnant.

She's hooking up with two guys. One's her ex. One's not. She's hooking up with them. She tells both families that the baby's theirs. And then she had a baby shower. And imagine me in that. This is the exact story we just heard, right? I know. I didn't even like think about it until right now. I got her a baby shower gift. I did not need to be at anyone's baby shower at the time. Was it Molly? And she, yeah. It was. It was. And both families showed up. And then...

one guy died what and it was it ended up being his baby but then the other guy just stepped in and raised it because did he die before the birth matters is the dad who steps up right and it's not gonna be who's which one's not cam greg it's not gonna be greg so wait what is she gonna do we haven't given advice we've just been in awe i know i feel bad i'm like yeah yeah it sucks honestly i think she's fucked i think you gotta tell him you know what i mean yeah right like tell

But also it's not that easy because Greg is dangerous. I would say tell Cam, get a test. If it's Cam's, run from Greg. You don't want to tell both of them. I feel like you only want to tell the one who it isn't. Yeah. Oh, that's the advice. That's the advice. Try to get the DNA test. Honestly, girl, if you got to take a lock of hair in your sleep, like do what you got to do. Get the DNA test. Witness protection program. Get out of there. Get the DNA test. Tell the one it isn't and...

Keep it pushing. And we hope for your sake it's Cam. Yeah, that's not good advice, but that's the best I got. I cannot imagine being in that position at all. Because what if you told the one whose kid it is and then you just like you didn't even have to tell him. Well, you do have to tell him. Honestly, he's the father of your kid. You tell him both. You could just run away and start over and like find a guy who wants like a barefoot pregnant damsel in distress too. There's people like that. Yeah, for sure. Like men who just want babies. Yeah. And like a like a

Really? A woman to save. I don't know. I feel like there's some freaks out there on like Bumble. This one is from Charlotte.

Hi, babes. I'm in a relationship right now, and I feel like he's probably going to be my end game. The only thing is my biggest goal in life is to try literally everything sexual at least once. I'm talking Tana-esque bucket list. Wow. I don't want to break up with him just to do this stuff, but I don't want to get married before I get to experience an orgy or a sex party of it all. What do I do? Love you guys. That's a good that's like.

I get that. I do get that. I get that. Because, like, I was in a long-term relationship from when I was a kid, basically. Yeah. Into adulthood. And you want to try things. You want to be single. I say maybe, like, talk to the guy. Yeah, you can wear him down, girl. Be like, are you down to do this? And even if he says no, you can wear him down. That's so fucked up. We're not supposed to project anyone into anything. I... I'm kidding. Yeah, but, like, I guess...

can you separate for a second? Don't people do that? I would say just talk to him first and see if he's down to do that. Yeah. If he loves you, maybe he'll try it. He probably wants to try some shit too. Yeah. Yeah. That's what kind of guy doesn't have an orange. That is true. There is a lot of guys. A lot of guys just, they're like,

I've never met one. You're the one for me. I don't particularly want to have an orgy, but I do. I think I would be afraid had I not tried more things. Yeah. I've done enough at this point that if I were to be with somebody forever, I'd be like, okay. Maybe there's a compromise. Maybe it's not an orgy. Maybe it's a threesome where you both choose the person or something. Yeah. Maybe you could tell him his favorite snacks will be there. Try to get him in other ways. Oh, my God. There's a charcuterie board. You got me with the charcuterie board. I would do that. Bulldog ramen and I will literally have it.

as many orgies as you need. I'm not kidding. Okay, this one, when I say we've all been there, by the way, for the next 80 things, I mean, we've been there and just do your best to kind of get there, okay? Got it. You know, I'm very...

I'm very private about my love life, actually. That's true. That's true. So it's like, you don't know. That's true. I wish I could go back in time. To what? To do that. Well, I try to be private about my love life. And then my co-host, Zach and Jared, mostly Zach, all they do on the podcast is air out my business. And Zach's favorite thing to do is, where was Tara last night? Oh, that's so real. And I'm like yawning. He's in love with you, though. No, he's not. Yes, he is. And actually, he irked me to tell you.

that he wants you on the podcast because he worked TanaCon. I do know this actually. And he did not get paid. Oh,

So he said he doesn't care. I can't believe he didn't get paid. And he just wants you to come on the podcast really bad. Me saying I can't believe he didn't get paid. Like, I would have paid him. That's a make good. You owe him. I need to come on the podcast. He just loves you. I mean, I'll be there. I love him. Honestly, he's like a catch. Okay. He got you a necklace. We're friends. Let her explore her being single. I just want her to explore him one time. That's what everyone says. Everyone just wants us together. All my friends. It's down to my

down to my cousins are texting me they're like you and Zach are like low-key because I think the like hate flirting is like so hot and fun like I love when a guy hates me it's not even flirting it's just I hate him oh that's what they all look at that smile just kidding sugar he said Zach's name he got there's a dog oh good fucking god no you're fine

Let him calm down. He's just riled up. It's okay. He looks like a little bear. He literally looks like Frank Gallagher. Stop, he does. Oh, my God. So does Daisy. That's why I feel like he looks like Daisy. What is that kind of dog? Have you seen our friend Lila has a... Lila's dog looks like mine, and I've never told Lila that I think Daisy looks like Sugar, but I always think that Daisy looks like Sugar. 100%, but Daisy was supposed to be a golden doodle. Okay. Okay.

She's half Chihuahua because sugar is half Chihuahua. She's a zero percent golden doodle. I'll tell you. Yeah. One hundred percent. Craigslist dog. One hundred percent. And of course, she paid thousands of dollars for her. The subject line of this one is boyfriend doesn't let me outside. I don't even have to read that to know to tell him to tell her to tell him to kick rocks. I just turned 18. I started essentially she started to go to the clubs. She started to party. He doesn't drink.

She thought that that could be a slay because he could be like the DD, like that whole situation. He's not into it. So now she said, I'm pretty much not ever allowed to go out ever. And I had a kind of a similar boyfriend at 18, though, like telling you what to do. Yeah, just like the allowed of it all. I'm not allowed to wear this. I'm not allowed to do that.

Yeah, I was like I and I feel like it's a lot of people are like, yeah, if I girl, all I know to say is don't get knocked up by this man because you're going to end up breaking up with him. Like it's just like it's almost inevitable. Like you you feel controlled for so long. And yeah, I feel like it's a canon event. Honest to God. Like, well, I hope not. Not everybody should be in a relationship like that. But I had one like that where it was like I tell my friends like, sorry, I'm not allowed or like he won't let me. And it's like.

Yeah. I feel like 90% of girls go through that. And then the other 10% are their friends like me where I'm like, since I watched it happen, I will never ever let a man tell me what to do ever. Boundaries is one thing, but that's not a boundary. That's telling someone don't do something. And that would drive me crazy. I will never ever be in a relationship ever again.

Or friendship. Where someone tells me what to do. You're not my mom. You're not my dad. You're not my probation officer. And it's like literally that's dating someone where they feel like your probation officer. I ended up. I always talk about this like and I regret it in a way, but I wildly cheated on this man. And it's like it's because he

Not that I'm like trying to like make your actions okay. Yeah. But it's because he pushed you to do that because he was so controlling. It was controlling over everything. And it was like, you already think I'm doing this. So might as well. Yeah. And I just, I don't like him. Yeah. I don't know. It's harder than it like sounds though. Cause it's always like, okay, well don't be with somebody who does that. But like, I feel like in my situation, it was literally like,

Because I love you so much and because I don't want people looking at you or seeing you or doing like, I want you to myself and I want to spend more time with you. And it's like, that's not all of a sudden you're like, Oh my God, no one's ever gaslight love bomb situation. It's emotionally abusive, but you don't know when you're in the moment. You're like, Oh my God, this man loves me. I would go to say, unless this man is so amazing, stay with him. But if someone's controlling you, they're not amazing. And that's just going to manifest in every way for the rest of your life. Like,

You don't want to do that. Go be young. Go party. Go have fun. And it never goes away. It only gets worse. They will all of a sudden they'll be telling you like what to wear, what to think, what to say, how it would make me actually crazy. If someone I think I have authority problems, though. Like if someone tells me what to do, I get really angry and I'm like, do not tell me what to fucking do. One hundred percent. I'm the same way. I've always been that way. I feel like especially if a man tells me what to do, I will literally go bonkers and yell at them. And I know that's not the right thing to do. I'm just really quick to anger and have a hot head. But it's like.

I don't know. Are you kidding? I used to like literally threaten to set the house on fire. I'm not kidding. I used to get in trouble if I would turn my phone over like this on the kitchen table. What? That's so crazy. Who was this man? How dare you not pay attention? Yeah, and he was cheating on me the whole time. Well, that's projecting. Well, of course. So if like someone's like

If someone's treating you like that and wondering why you go out and stuff like that, they're probably projecting their own stuff that they do. In my experience, that's always it. Because whatever they're insecure about, they have a reason to think you would be doing that. 100%. The amount of times I got accused of cheating in a relationship where I would have never thought about it, but because he was cheating on me the whole time. Yeah. That's crazy. It is just wild. And I think at 18...

And an 18 controlling man is such a canon event, but you will be out of that soon and you're going to meet someone who you can have fun with. And hopefully he'll grow out of it too. Like have a drink. Well, okay. Wait, don't have a drink. It's also like, I hate to say this and this is my toxic advice, but like if you left that man, he'll, he'll be there. Go party. He'll be there. If you really want him back, like do like, if that's why you're leaving him, I don't, you know, but you don't want him honestly. It's crazy to me that he would get mad at you to,

don't jinx it. Right. I cannot believe sugar is being such a menace today. And it's really, really embarrassing. I think that having a little Chihuahua adds to your aesthetic completely. And it's especially when that looks like that, like it's not a perfect looking Chihuahua. That's not really giving me Chihuahua to be honest. He's half Chihuahua. He's half Pekin. He's half Chihuahua. I want a dog. Look at him in the corner of that.

What's his little frame? His underbite sends me to the moon. I think this one is an everyone's opinion thing. And I'm curious to hear it. Hey, girls, do you think watching porn in a relationship was wrong? I was recently with my boyfriend. He was driving her somewhere. She went on his phone. She saw Pornhub open on Safari.

She made him drop her off. Yeah. Was she being too overprotective or was she? Right. I personally, I don't know if I would really get that upset if like someone, my like my significant other were watching porn. Yeah.

But it's like how much and how often. Yes. And does she look nothing like me? Because then all of a sudden I'm really insecure. You're just like, I just wanted her to look like me. Yeah, like, well, what if it's like someone with like the biggest ass you've ever seen? I literally like... Yeah, if it's like they have a type of girl too that they're constantly watching that's nothing like you, I can see how that breeds insecurity. I have a problem with like...

Being obsessed with one girl. I hate when it's like an OnlyFans girl. Like if like he's obsessed with one porn star or one girl or one. That feels like a parasocial relationship. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. But like Pornhub doesn't bother me. That's the thing because I think of it more as like the act and not the people. Yeah, like the act is turning you on, not the specific person. Yeah, it's like you scroll and you click.

You're not looking for someone. If you're looking for someone, why? Yeah, 100% agreed. I also like sometimes it's like I don't want to like let that do like do the work. I'm lazy. Yeah. Go watch that gangbang. I'll be fucking eating a crap off my chest. But I know to each is their own and that is a boundaries thing. And if you don't feel comfortable with it, then express that. And then that shit kind of can become a bigger fight because it's like

You know what I mean? Where it's like, this is my boundary and this makes me feel some type of way and you're still going to do it. I think people who have that boundary usually end up together. So it's fine. Yeah. But it's like I never heard of that being a problem because usually usually people who have that boundary end up together. You know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, porn is cheating. I love this advice segment, though. It's like kind of fun. OK, this one's crazy.

I met my fiance on a Reddit daddy little girl slash BDSM subreddit. Reddit in general is crazy. Do you guys ever look yourself? Don't. Whatever you do, do not look yourself up on Reddit. I actually don't think this person wants advice. I think they're just telling us. It's your addiction to- Everybody knows. It's like my number one downfall. It's already a thing. To look up your own Reddit? Yeah, we have a couple subreddits for canceled and they're- Thank God.

but it's okay. I'm working on it. I'm working through it. I actually have some new worst vices. So that's true. This Brooke, this actually wasn't an advice segment. It was just her saying like, I met this guy on Reddit and now we're getting married. So not all people on Reddit are bad and you should keep going on Reddit. Really? Is that what that was about? The fact that I said like, don't look yourself up on Reddit is crazy. I felt like a bunch of deep fakes of me. I'm like,

I wish. I'm like, make one of me. Oh, never mind, dude. I have. You took that back so quickly. Well, I was thinking like, but then I was like, that's inappropriate. All my deep fake corn is from like my toothbrush era. Like I need like some, I need. You knew. Yeah. Someone get on it. AI is so advanced these days. It really is. Honestly. Hi guys.

My love life is whack. Here's what's going down. I've been sleeping on and off with this man that I met on a dating app in November. This sex is the best sex I've ever had. And they meet up to fuck, but they talk for hours. They spend the whole day together. It's low key, very romantic, yada, yada.

But then she leaves and they don't talk for weeks until he gets me up to come to hers. She's tired of being single and the constant situationship or failed talking stages. She wants to date someone. This dude only obviously only wants sex. My question is, can I still ethically fuck around with a dude who doesn't want anything when that's what I want from someone I'm involved with? Or should I be honest with my feelings, even if it most likely means he won't feel the same? And then I have no one doting over me. This is awesome.

a situation i know all too well okay and my advice to you is so long as you are not emotionally involved which you are emotionally involved i feel like you have to cut it off if you're like if you have any type of feelings at all because otherwise you end up in it for like years and years and years and they're never ever going to want anything different if it's been that long and all they want is to have sex with you they're not going to change how long has it been

Since November. So that's not so long. Wait, I think November of 2022. Oh, yeah. I was paraphrasing of him. He's gone for good. He's never going to date you. And I hate to say that, but somebody will. Somebody better will. It's going to be better sex. That breaks my heart. That's I mean, my old

like hot take of advice is like tell him like, you know, he doesn't know. Do you want to be exclusive or not? What's the tea? I say try and be honest, open line of communication and then cut it off if he doesn't. But you have to be willing to cut it off if he doesn't because if you keep going after the fact, then

I think dream scenario here is fucking for as long as you can because it's so good. But maybe be going on like a weekly date as well. Yeah, that's another thing. That's what someone told me recently. Maybe date around also because if that's what they're going to be doing, if you're not exclusive, they're sleeping with other people. So you need to be doing it to protect yourself. It's for safety purposes only. Yeah. And you just have to find someone who's equally as good in bed because then you will just be.

I've been there, you know, where I was like had a hookup buddy and it was so amazing. And then I found a boyfriend and it was like he's such an amazing boyfriend. But like the sex was so bad. So I was like fantasizing about like the you know what I mean? I couldn't. This sounds bad. I don't think I could have a boyfriend that I don't have good intimate relationships.

I agree with that now. I think that before I was at a point where I was just like, I would settle for one or the other. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I get that. I don't think I could do it. Because the guys who fuck are usually like, they're just whores. Yeah. Ran through. Yeah, there's a reason he's so good at that. Because he's done it so many times. For sure. Oh, man. I don't know. I just, I always.

The silence was deafening for like a second. We all know a guy like that. We're just in love with them, but they're just so ran through. And yeah, it's sad. I don't know. I've been in that exact situation like probably a dozen times and I always end up sad in the end. But

Kind of what you're saying. It's like, who are you really punishing if you cut it off without having someone new? You know what I mean? Because then all of a sudden you're not having sex and he probably still is. Yeah. And it's just like, I mean, yeah, if he goes weeks without talking to her. Yeah, he's busy. How? Oh my God. If someone weeks without talking to me, they'd be blocked.

like there's no such thing as talking stage you're like you're obsessed with me or we're not talking 100 oh bran flakes he says a situation ship is a situation to one person and nothing to the other that's yeah that's actually crazy we our guy friend was saying something to me though recently that just will never i can never unhear what he said what'd he say wait wait i'm scared he was explaining i'm scared dana hold on he was explaining the mentality of like

what I would say is 80% of straight men in today's day and age, in my opinion. Okay. Like that guys want to fuck other girls because it's like, you love a cheeseburger, but you don't want to have a cheeseburger every day. Sometimes you want a slice of pizza. Pizza sounds so good right now, but it doesn't always.

And it's like, stop. Like that it's nothing to do with you. Like they still love having cheeseburgers, but they just want pizza sometimes. No, absolutely not. It fucked me up so bad. I get that, which is scary because I could, I could think back to a couple people that I was hooking up with and be like, I really like them, but like,

I want to talk about other people still. That doesn't mean I still don't like them. Yeah. But I feel like I'm a lot like a guy in that way where I don't, I don't connect like that with a lot of guys. Yeah. So I'm just like, I could see their point of view. Am I a bitch to say that if you feel that way though, that person just isn't, they're just not enough for you. Don't say that to me right now. Like it's, it's not that they're not enough for someone right now. I just had a really bad situation with that. I actually feel really bad about this. I need to like, maybe I can get some advice from you guys, but there's nothing I need to do actually. But it was,

Before McCoy and I were dating, I had someone that I met on a dating app and we were casually seeing each other. But the spark... Was it Raya? No, I'm banned from Raya. And Venmo. Everything else. It was Hinge. Okay. And I was seeing him and there just like wasn't... I didn't feel a spark, but I felt like he felt the spark. You know what I mean? I've been through that. And it's just... It's hard. There was nothing wrong with him. I just felt like he was really boring and like vanilla for me. Okay. And...

I told him I wasn't like ready for a relationship. And I genuinely thought that at the time. And I went to Hawaii and I, he like, I was talking to him about going to Hawaii and I was like, Oh my God, you should come. But then I met McCoy. So then I just obviously went, this was recent. It was like the guy before my boyfriend. Yeah. Oh my God. And then he probably sees you in this like public relationship now. And he's probably like, fuck, like she was ready. It was just immediately ready. Right. Yeah. That's happened to me. I've been on the opposite end of that a million times, but yeah,

You have to just know by now that's like just something you learn as you grow up is there's no such thing as not ready for a relationship, in my opinion, because the second that you want to date somebody, you will. I think you just don't want to date that person if you're not ready for a relationship. And if you're really not ready for a relationship, you're being so single and transparent as fuck to people. You know, so scary.

yeah all of this is so i single life for me i i don't understand it and i haven't gotten uncharted territory yeah i haven't gotten to like understand it i'm like okay well either you like me or like what like i just like to me it's not something that i'm used to quite yet it's been like eight months and i still just can't wrap my head around any of it it's it's also it took me 27 years sister and i have no idea what the fuck i also think today's generation is just fucked i was talking about this with mccoy yesterday for like hours but like

Even think about where like technology and the level of access to people was out when you started dating Jake versus now. He sees himself now. Tinder man faked his death to get out of a date lore.

I mean, did they put lore in the subject line? That's the wrong use of lore. I think it is most often. It is honestly. It's yeah. I think I've infected the viewers cause I use it wrong 24. She taught them the improper. Yeah. Okay. So just like the first thing is like,

Tana's lore is that did she get fucked by a toothbrush? That's your lore. We don't know. Right? It's lore. Why can't my lore just be like a... It's like all the things about you that are unknown or mysterious. But like this, like Tinder man faked his death to get out of a date. Lore. That's her lore. Why would that even be in a sentence? Yeah.

You can put it in parentheses. Lore. Yeah. So just know every time I'm saying it, it's in parentheses. Right. Honestly, though, that is hilarious. Tell me the story. My name is Gavin. I'm 22. So about two years ago, I matched with this guy on Tinder. He was hot, gorgeous, even very hot for being from the Pittsburgh area. Added him on Snapchat and we talked on there for about a month.

We then talked about going on a date soon since he was going to be coming to the city. No plan set in stone, but wanted to hang for sure. Flash forward a few days and bam, he hasn't answered me. Surprise, surprise. Can't trust gay men.

Can't trust gay man. Can't trust gay men. Men in general. Written so well, by the way, I'm just stupid. But I check Instagram. His profile picture was blacked out. All of his posts were deleted. And I was like, oh, did he block me? No. The next day I'm greeted with a link on his story for an obituary post. First of all, what did he post that himself?

There was a funeral page for him with comments from his family about how heartbroken they were. I really grieved this man. I didn't really know him, but I was very distraught by him dying, you know, like who am I to not be sad? Anyways, I'm processing this man's death. And after about a year, his Instagram was back up again. And I thought maybe he was hacked. Nope. He faked his own death. He also got people to send money to him to the fake obituary site.

I learned this, that he scammed people for money and he tried to become a model in LA. No explanation from him, by the way. His Bitmoji on Snapchat did not move for months. I really thought he was dead. The site had comments from his mom. He committed hard as fuck. Yeah, the Bitmoji was still. I cried on the floor of my college dorm. Guests were never going on that date. I have a giant hunch that that was for a greater reason. It wasn't for the date. It was definitely for, yeah, the great, there was a bigger issue. Yeah.

But that's the most girlhood shit. Like if I if a guy fakes his death, I'm I'm making it about me every single time. 100 percent. Obviously, it was all about that singular one date. Absolutely. I just feel like there had to have been so many things he could have done before that.

That's some Tinder swindler shit right there to fake your own death for obituary money. And that's why dating apps scare me. Because it's like, you don't know these people. Stranger danger is real. And because we're on the internet, I feel like we don't fathom that. I was talking about this yesterday. Like, we keep getting massages from the Soothe app. And it's this app. I've been wanting to use it, but I'm scared I'm going to get like...

It's great. But I would start with a couple's massage, even a friend, because then there's two and like no one's going to. But I really I was just thinking to myself, I was like all the time I have a stranger come over to my house. I get naked. I lay down on a table and I trust them not to just cut me up. Cut you up.

Yeah. That's the first thing your mind goes to? Like a charcuterie. Well, it's not. The first thing my mind goes to is the deep tissue I'm about to get. But like, it's like, dude, we trust these people. No, I know. I've been actually wondering about that app. Because of the internet. Like we trust people to bring us our food. We get in strangers cars for rides. Like dating apps are scary. We get into strangers cars every day. That's an Uber. Yeah. And it's just like, you don't, you don't think anything of it because of today's day and age. I had a hinge date.

Damn near try to kill me. Like just creepy stalker. I'll never fucking get over it. It was so weird. And it just like, and it's like, even when you date these people from Hinge, like you don't know them at all. Like I'll never date someone unless I like know them through someone.

I understand completely. Sometimes that's even bad. Like, I don't know. I feel like the internet's so scary, but it's also so amazing because you can find out anything. You weren't researching hard enough, in my opinion, because I would have found out immediately that that man was not dead. Oh, you're still on that story? Yeah. Yeah. Aren't we supposed to be? Yeah, we got to give some damn advice, honestly. There is no advice for that. That's how I personally found out that my ex's family was still alive. I found their Facebook and I literally went through every single post to find out. That's some salt burn shit. Oh, yeah. It was. Yeah, that's what happened. Yeah.

That is some salt burn shit. I went on his mom's Facebook and I literally went to every single one of her friends to see every single post that they had posted between now and 2019 when she or 2020 when she was supposed to have died and saw if she had liked any of the posts. So in my opinion, when I think of Brooke and think of people who like do that, like you like go deep into people's lives and like especially if I like a guy and if I like go deep into his like who he follows and stuff like that.

Ignorance is bliss in that situation. I can't do that to myself or else I will drive myself crazy to the point where I won't return to the internet. I agree. So I can't do that. I mean, in this situation, I had to know the answer. You had to know because you were dating the guy. But just in general, I did used to be the girl who would like, you know, I'm on a second date with a guy and in my head, I like want to ask about his aunt's birthday party today because I was...

Yeah. Stalking. And I think it's so. Yeah. I get that. I do get myself in some trouble. Do you ever like. Like bring up something you're not supposed to know about. Yeah. You're like. How was your trip to Costa Rica? And he's like. I've never told you about Costa Rica. Yeah. I don't know. That was in 2009. Yeah. Yeah.

It is so true. I've tried to stop doing that. Wait, I have a question. This is kind of off topic. Is that fine? Yeah. That girl that you're talking about on your TikTok that you like go and like she's from your college and she has no idea who you are probably or like and you like look into her because you're like, oh, would she wear that? I have someone like that too. Do you? It's not rare. I feel like it's like a universal. I got a lot of comments that like validated my experience. Did you see what she's talking about? I talked about how like

because I'm shopping for tour outfits right now. We have to have like 40 outfits when we leave. Dude, that's crazy. It's so dark. And I was like thinking about it when I'm shopping because every single time her name is Amber, the girl who I'm talking about. And she like, I don't even know her that well, but like I just loved her in college and I like loved how she dressed. So every time I buy anything, I'm like,

Would Amber wear this? And if she wouldn't wear it, I won't buy it. And she's probably really creeped out by it, but I can't help it. To be honest, I go through phases where I do that with strange people. Right now, all of the people I do that with have like a style kind of like yours. Like I've been in that era. You know, you could just text me and say, would you wear this? And I'll tell you. That's so true. And you just start doing it. Cause I also like,

You can call me and be like, can you shop for me? And I'll do it. I got STD tested the other day, you guys. Where do you get tested? At Same Day Health in West Hollywood because it's like super easy. People start showing up. They're trying to meet you. No. I'm like, I honestly go a lot. I go a lot just like for peace of mind. And I'm literally like, I'm not even sleeping with like literally anyone. But...

I went and got tested and I go there all the time. I go like once every couple months and meet Brooke there. And usually, usually it takes it's called same day health. So it takes like between like 24 and like 48 hours to get your results back. And I don't get name. I didn't get. Yeah, I know. We're right on the nose. Yeah.

I didn't get my results back for like two weeks. Oh, you're freaking out. So I'm freaking the fuck out. Two week off. I call and I'm like, hello. Cause I was, I was having some worries because I was worried about someone who I had slept with, you know, moving around. I call them and they're like, um, like it's the girl at the front. And she's like, uh, I'm going to need you to talk to the doctor. I go, okay.

You're fucking lying. I'm freaking out. And I go, why can't you just tell me? I literally, I always get my results over email. Like there's, I always go here. And she's like, no, we don't give out results over email. Like you have to have a Zoom with the doctor. She goes, you have to make an appointment for a Zoom with the doctor. I'm freaking out. She goes, okay, she's available in an hour. So I sit there, I sit on my couch for an hour. I text-

Pretty much everyone I know that I have chlamydia and gonorrhea and probably I'm going to die. And oh, God, that's awful. I get on and she's like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't have your chart filled out all the way. I'm like, chlamydia. The bitch at the front desk could have told you. I know she couldn't have. She actually couldn't have. But like, why? I don't know. Some kind of like a hip or something, but hip or something real. But I'm like, well, first of all, don't let me take the test if you don't have my chart filled out.

It's not my fault. So did you have chlamydia? I did not have chlamydia. Did you have this? Anything else? Nothing. Good. Clean as a whistle. If you were a YouTuber, you've had it once. Have you had it? No.

God willing, dude. I don't know. That's kind of crazy. That's a really strong theory for you to be the only one who doesn't apply. No, but this could be your error. I just became single. You're right. You were in a relationship. But you're going to get it. And you know what? There's no shame in it. That's why you get tested. No, I don't think so either. That's why you get tested. And it happens and it's normal. It's like a common cold. And the shame is in not testing. I agree. I don't think there's shame in having an STD. There's shame in not getting tested and not treating it. Yeah. And having unprotected sex while you know you have it. 100%.

which is happening often it is like a cold and flu for your puss yeah it feels like a cold and flu for your puss when someone's like oh I got chlamydia it's I'm not thinking like oh my god they got like like I'm not looking down on them for having chlamydia or anything even like even I even things that don't go away like herpes most people have herpes yeah did you know that yeah like one in three people is gonna have their or well one in three people has herpes yeah

And by the time we're 30 and producers are like, everyone has herpes. Yeah. I've noticed that in the last like five years, even the way people I feel like used to talk about herpes like five years ago versus now it's so much more like normalized, which is honestly real. Well, it's sad because people are still really scared of it. The more you know about it, the less scary it is. Like...

I just I know a lot about it because of school but like she's like I'm educated actually well no it's like really like I just feel like it's not that serious it's not that big of a deal but I'm also scared of it so it's like what am I talking about yeah it's okay to be scared but no reason to shame people I had a little condom era at the end of last year and I was really proud of myself a condom era what do you mean you don't use condoms no I was using condoms you shouldn't call that an era no I know so because you don't use condoms you call it a condom era well don't use is just a huge you know I've gone in and out it's like a toxic relationship okay

You know You want to hear something funny What Do you know my I heart tarayami merch This is a new me plugging it You should plug it Slay I heart tarayami merch I made myself little condoms That say I heart tarayami on it I'm not going to sell them obviously Because it's like I think you absolutely should Or at least hand them out To friends and family I do hand them out to my friends But it's like I made them like custom I have like little I heart tarayami condoms I did that at TanaCon Did you really That was in the gift bags TanaCon Tana condoms

We should release condoms is everything. That's that was canceled. Condoms would be amazing though. Like, like cancel pregnancy. I think it's good because it's like you're promoting safe sex. So it's like, there's like, right. Yeah. I also was concerned. I'm like, do I do that? Like, do I, I had kind of a newfound love for them. Like it kind of makes the guy last longer. They're way thinner. Now they've gotten like really ingenuity in the last few years. Yeah. Not kidding. Like, no, it's kind of lit.

It's just a little weird after when it's like a goldfish in a bag. You remember the Drake story? Oh my God. Wait. Hello. We have to talk about Drake. We did. Did you see it? Did you see the video? Who hasn't? It's like those things outside of the car dealerships. Like.

It's so heavy. Do you think it's him? Oh, for sure. And I want to believe it's him. Like someone could tell me right now it's not him and I'm going to still want to believe like, yeah, I just say I feel like it's like I can't believe it's not been leaked sooner because I was such a big I would have leaked that immediately. Not kidding. I like first of all, I thought it was tiny because of the way he kicks his little feet when he runs. To be honest, that gave me like it's small, but he's little.

Well, good for him. I just feel bad because do you think he's like upset that it got leaked? Like I don't want to be talking about someone's wiener if they don't want me talking about it. No. Didn't he say like you're welcome or something? He said like I wasn't hiding my meat from the world. I was hiding. And he said long dick in a song. Was that fake or was that real? I actually don't know. I just like to believe things and make things up. That's one thing about me is I will. I always leave whatever is the most exciting. I always get on my mom for like believing things on the Internet. I'm like, mom, that's a tech talk. Like team is not real. Like, yeah, don't get anything from tech talk shop.

And then you should see mine. She's a conspiracy theorist. I don't get it. And I started crying about it the other night. I made a TikTok about it. I start crying. I'm like, I was drunk. I was like, what's TikTok shop? I don't know. Every single thing for the most part that I bought from TikTok shop has showed up and it's like giving complete scam. I have a 100% success rate. Honest to God. Every single thing I've bought has been everything. All you've bought is ramen. What?

I saw that, Brooke. I saw that. And one of my biggest fears in the world is food poisoning because I almost died from it one time. What? Two times I almost died from food poisoning. One time I almost died. The other time I was being dramatic.

Hospital? Well, my mom said I was like black and blue because I lost so much liquid. I was literally pooping and shitting and throwing up. It is more serious than people make it out. And it was from sushi. And I don't give a fuck. It was from the Yamato and Encino. Don't go there. Don't go there. Is that a small business? We have to make sure. No, Yamato's a chain. Okay, good. Yamato's a chain.

Yamato is a chain. More than two locations they can get this. Yeah. And they fucked me up so badly to the point where now I don't go anywhere that's like under an A rating. It's really bad because I don't want to seem bougie or seem like stuck up. But I'm literally I'm traumatized. Yeah. I believe that. Sushi I only eat like certain sushi. I only eat like

Where I know it's okay. Right. Ask when they get their fish. Like I'm crazy. And it's gotten to the point where this is so bad. And I feel like this might be like a problem. I should talk to my therapist about, I'm not even kidding. I make someone else have a bite of my food every time I eat it because I'm like, okay, I used to think everyone was being traumatic when they got food poisoning. The first time I got it, I was like, there's something so dehumanizing about something coming out of all of your holes. I shit my bathrobe. I shit my wall. I will. Yeah. And I said it in my show. I didn't stand up.

That happened to her first time. You did stand up. I went on a tour. Oh my God, you did? Oh, and Nick Colars was helping you, right? Yeah. I love him. Yeah. I thought about him today actually. Really? Because I needed help writing something and like he's the best to bounce ideas off of. Yeah, he's really fun to work with. Yeah, I got food poisoning a week before my show and I scrapped everything that I was talking about. And you were like, I shit my wall. And I said, I shit my wall because here's what happened. I was like bending over to throw up in like my trash can and as I was bending over, I

Uh-huh. And I did you like a fire hose and it was like a Picasso painting. It was like that was me on my bathrobe. Was it like a white wall too? No, but I have like a handheld bidet. It's not like a toilet bidet. It's like a handheld one. So I just hosed it off. Shit.

This is what I'm thinking about is like my crush could see this and be like, wow, Tara Yemi shit her wall. Dude, I've always. But I did and I said it and I did. I think shitting is kind of like, it's like sneezing. I talk about it way too freely, farting all of it and then I regret it on the internet. I posted it on my story today. I don't know if you saw, but it was like,

an anti-diarrhea pill and orbit gum. And I'm like, my day's ready. Girl dinner. See, I think there's something so powerful about the fact that we've embarrassed ourselves to a point where nobody else could do it for us. Really? That's true. So good. Like what is anybody ever going to come out with? That's like, I'm going to be humiliated by. You're right. Yeah. I shit at the hotel. But I do have a question about the ramen. Oh, so because.

what I will answer every single question first of all I've eaten a pack of diet since I started can you make me one I would love nothing more I'm not kidding I call my friends every day I'm like please come over I have to make it for somebody else it's spicy there's no meat in it is there no no meat I only use half the packet of the spice because I'm like kind of a baby you add heavy cream and cheese and that you don't buy on TikTok shop so wait can you please I'm I'm hungry now it is sounds so good I wish you had it good I'm not kidding I had to sweep all of Los Angeles because it wasn't coming quickly enough on sweep

I had to go buy it out everywhere. - I love how serious you are with everything you do. I really admire that about you. You're like, "I had to sweep Los Angeles to get a pack of ramen." - I did and I made a TikTok about this and everyone says it's autism, which is fine, but I am so obsessed with it. - Was it Trisha with Jake? - Yeah, my ex-boyfriend's autistic. - Oh yeah, I think that's what it was. Or someone commented and was like, "Being this hyper fixated on a food is like kind of an autistic curse," just saying.

I couldn't. I can't help myself. I tried bulldak noodles. You eat the carbonara flavor. They're not all the same. I know. I tried the spicy flavor. You're very passionate. And I almost shit the wall. They're not all the same. I love your nails. I've been staring at them this whole time. Your nails are cutie. They're so cute.

I literally, it was, they're really thick. Everything. It was probably wrong. Whatever that happened with you is probably wrong. If you didn't like it, it was wrong. Yeah. I don't want to like shit on, no pun, what you're passionate about. It's kind of safe if you think about it. Cause the, I mean the cream and the cheese you buy yourself. No, no, no, no. And I'm not judging you. I don't think it's unsafe, but because I'm so fucked up in the head over food poisoning.

That's all I'd be thinking about. Even though it's dehydrated, I'm sure it's fine, actually. Yeah. Yeah, I think the bulldog noodles, you're safe. But stay away from some Encino sushi for sure. Someone told me, someone's like, don't eat it straight out of the pot because it's like there's chemicals. I'm like, I'm literally eating bulldog, Roman. It's probably radioactive. Don't microwave foil. I don't give a fuck if I catch that cancer back. First of all. Microwaving foil sets your house on fire, Tana. That's...

You know what's funny? Immediately combustible. One time when I was a kid, I did, and I got beat to smithereens with this shit. I microwaved foil and it lit on fire, but I still do it. What?

One time, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to cut your story. No, I'm ready. First of all, one time I put, two times actually, I put Kraft macaroni and cheese or Easy Mac in the microwave with no water. Okay. Huge mess. One time I put a Hot Pocket in the microwave for a minute. A minute and 40 seconds. I went upstairs. I'm having a little chat.

I had put it in for 14 minutes. I came downstairs. It was petrified. It was a petrified hockey puck. I have a photo of it. I'm going to send it to you to insert. It broke the whole plate in half and it was literally just a big black ball. Until I was like 17, I could not grasp microwave times. Like I would microwave a slice of pizza for like six minutes and then it would be black. That's really funny. And I just didn't learn. Like I don't, I just didn't learn. Have you ever put an egg in the microwave? No.

No, but I heard it's explosive. It explodes. My dad used to not take me to school because he had work and my mom would take me every morning. And one morning when I was like seven years old, my dad, God forbid, he had to make me breakfast. He had to make me breakfast and he put an egg in the microwave and it exploded. And we just sat there and we're like, mom's going to kill us. Like how did he, he was a grown man in his thirties when I was like seven years old, not know to not put an egg in the microwave. I swear to God, I'm going to prank someone. I'm going to ask someone to microwave me an egg and it's going to be like the orange peel. Like, well, you microwave this egg. Don't you think in theory it should work? It,

No. Well, yeah. Hard boiled egg. No. You can air fry eggs. No, you can't air fry bacon too. I didn't even know that. Bacon, yeah. But you can air fry an egg. Of course you can air fry bacon. But you can microwave bacon. Yes, you can microwave bacon. You put it in like a little towel, like a little. We get paid for this. We do. Are you ever podcasting and you're just like, what the fuck am I actually saying right now? Yeah. It just, as you go on for hours and hours. So basically I've come to the conclusion since all I do is talk on YouTube too, is like,

We get paid. Yeah, I know. And then professionally people would be like, you don't understand how hard we work. I'm like, dude, I just want to come out here right now and say I am so motherfucking sick of opening my TikTok app and seeing a fucking bitch with a blowout and lip filler. Talk about how hard it is to be an influencer. I just sorry. You know, it makes me furious. It's like, yes, there's.

But everything is relative. Yes, there's hard parts of your job. But you are making so much fucking money. Use that money to work out whatever the fuck is hard. Like, how the fuck? Go get therapy. I like when they post the list and they're like, oh, so much to do today. The errands. You zoom in and it's like, get your nails done. Get a blowout. Go to Pilates. So, you're like. I think I always. And I might get fucking roasted for this. I think there's a difference between an influencer and like a YouTuber or someone who has a podcast. I think there's a big difference in that. I agree.

completely when it's just a bitch who does TikTok. And I don't think it's any harder or any easier, but like an influencer, I hate being called an influencer because I'm like, what the fuck am I influencing? All I do is like, I try to make people laugh. That's my job. There's definitely levels to this shit. Yeah, and I'm not saying that like being an influencer is like hard. It's not. Yeah. Being a YouTuber is not hard either. It has its problems. Like, do I want to get hate every day? No, but I put it on the internet. And again, it's relative. It's relative. Like the money and the joy from all the good sides of it. Yeah, it's relative. It's relative.

And there's so many ways to protect yourself. Yeah, but I think there's a difference between an influencer and like a YouTuber or like a

I don't know. Is it just me? There is. There's like girls who are like, her whole job is just like being like dressing up or like, and like, and she was like, you don't know how hard it is being an influencer. I'm like, I don't care if you film 70 makeup tutorials that day and edited them all. And it was hard work. That's not harder than being a surgeon. Yeah. At all. I was making so much less than you and contributing far more to society. I'm just, I get,

Thinking it's hard if you want to think it's hard, but shut the fuck up about it. We have to all learn. Yeah, at least be in touch enough to know that like- Just don't say it out loud. Go tell your friend. And it's also- I complain. I complain about things to my friends. Yeah. I'm not going to sit there online and be like, my job's hard. It's not hard. It has its hard spots. And it comes so down to the same thing of like, you're being cyberbullied. Close your computer. I'm sorry. Like, it's hard being an influencer. Lock your phone. Go for a walk. I feel like if you're saying that, then like, close your phone. Sorry. You know, I just-

There's levels of cyberbullying in everything that is too hard. I will say I take it to heart like crazy. I'm like, oh my God, I hate this. Well, no, it's hard. But I mean, like if Tana's saying like, just close your computer, then like, I think you've been bullied pretty hard. That's true. But I know I'm like a tougher cookie than a lot of people. You're so good at it. I can understand that maybe I was like, you know, more cut out for the mental of this shit. I think I'm cut out for it too, to a certain degree. I'm sensitive like you, but I think I can do it. Well, I'm unlearning, but I've always been like so dependent on validation that like-

Yeah, me too. I get that. And if someone says something that like pulls a heartstring, it hurts me. But like if someone calls me like a pick me, I know I'm not a pick me. So it doesn't bug me. That's my favorite thing. I've been seeing Tarja. He's a pick me. I'm like, okay, dude, I know I'm not. So it's fine. I don't care. The pick me is just not the end of the fucking world at all. Yeah. Like people do surgery. Talk is out. Surgery. Yeah.

Oh, well, I mean, we gave some advice. Sorry. I mean, I'm so fucking proud of you and everything that you're doing. And the girlies really wanted you on. So that's crazy to me. You know, it's fun. I wasn't trying to be funny on this podcast. I was just listening and enjoying your guys' talk. We love you. Usually I'm like so on and I'm trying to like make crack jokes and like

Today wasn't about that. I'm so tired. The people also just the favorite. I'm not entertaining. You were so entertaining. And I think people enjoy feeling like they are just on this couch with us talking so much more than an interview or someone trying super hard. And you gave that energy and we fucking love you. And I think sugar loves you too. Yeah. By the way, I've been itching my butt on camera and I just realized I'm like, I get so bad. I'll be picking like a veggie. I'll be picking a veggie on the council. I'd be picking my nose on camera and I'm like, my crush sees that.

You know, I just want to. We should normalize picking noses. It's normal. Gotta get it out. I agree. You know what I mean? I mean, I would ask you about your crush. I know you're not going to delve anything on camera, but I'm excited. I mean, you can try. Let's see. Go ahead. Well, I was going to. First and last name. Have you gotten any tattoos recently? We love you, Taria. I mean.