65: OUR EMBARRASSING DRUNK NIGHT AT THE VMAS - Ep. 65
01:26:32 Share

Did you know a 2018 study showed half of prenatal vitamins tested had unacceptable levels of heavy metals? I'm Kat, mother of three and founder of Ritual. When I was four months pregnant, I couldn't find a prenatal I could trust, so I created my own. Ours is matricable, third-party tested for heavy metals, and recently earned the Purity Award from the Clean Label Project.

But don't just take my word for it. Get 25% off at ritual.com slash prenatal. Hello and welcome back to the cancelled podcast. You are a natural. I can't believe I'm shooting two episodes. It's fucking fugly.

Well, it's almost like you didn't know we were shooting today. I did. I just I didn't have the like the gall and the wherewithal to put on makeup like wedding and beauty blender. Stunning to me. Well, I love you. Sexy girl. Do you ever like feel like actually wedding and beauty blender is like the biggest chore in the world? Or is it just me? Like I don't hate doing makeup. I really don't like doing my makeup. Well, no, I don't.

I think it's so cool. Like different celebrities have gone like makeup free. I just wish I was like a little hotter. I don't know. I love wearing makeup. I love having makeup on. I love the look of it. Yeah. I just, I hate taking it off is my thing. I want to fucking die. Really? I love taking it off. The act of taking it off or having it off.

The act of taking it off. Like, weirdly, like, I love to just... Because it's like, when you have on makeup all day, you're like, you can't, like, you know, touch your face like that. I can't think of something more tedious than, like, getting... Well, maybe because I wear so fucking much makeup that when I do take it off, it's like... But, like, an oil, a cleansing balm, the one-size spray. You put me onto that. The one-size spray is amazing. I like the Amazon Basics Clean and Clear Dupes. Do you know she just taught me the craziest fucking makeup trick? And now I think of you every day when I do it. Oh. It's so fucking insane. Yeah.

does her lip liner sets it with setting powder okay brooke just essentially said hey dumb bitch everyone knows that was one i don't even know what where that face came from like that's a thing and then puts gloss on after and it like fixes the powdery and then it stays on for like 24 hours i sometimes do it if i just want my um lip to be like a little bit more like matte i did not know that was a thing

I was mind blown by that. But sometimes, I don't know, sometimes I don't like when my, I feel like it makes my lips look a little foundation-y. I get what you're saying. In what, well, I think it depends. Like 2016 glam coated. I use like a hydrating setting spray and then do like a gloss on it. Can we just talk about like Kylie Lip Kit era? Like everyone having like a dark brown matte lip on. And at that time I had like no lip injections at all so I had like these little

Yeah, and you were able to see it too. And every crease, like you're 80. Yeah, it's so drying. Bless your heart, Kylie. You've done so well since then. For sure. But I feel like every single person, I don't know what's in the lip liner these days or if it's just the technique, but you could just tell every time that you could just see where the natural lip was. Yeah, I don't know. And I'll be over lining at my own funeral.

Like I swear to God, if I'm in my casket and I don't have makeup talk on over lined Morphe, if you're not actually doing it, like I'll I'll resurrect just to kill myself. I'm going to take it out of your pocket when you go down. Should we like start a collab? No, that's just called like mortician notes. Yeah. Are you going to have a like so clearly do your glam? Yes. And I've actually like discussed this with her at length.

Pre-hires makeup artists Isn't that crazy That that's somebody's like job Somebody's job is just to like Do dead people's makeup Do you know what Paige's mom did? What? Wait what? Like Paige's mom is a mortician Aren't they both Aren't both her parents morticians?

I think so. I don't know. It explains so much about Paige's personality. Dude, I used to go, obviously like so different than being like a mortician, but I went to, I used to have to go to the cadaver lab for school. It's like literally just probably like 15 dead bodies and they've, all of them are like sliced up in different ways. Yeah.

no they're human cadavers yeah that's worse than the fucking other thing you guys talked about but it's well i mean it's it's educational and it's like so you can like you can literally like peel okay wait i don't want to say peel back the layers but like that's what you do you go and you study them and like study the anatomy i understand that yeah but it's so interesting like seeing them laying there because it's like they had a whole life and you can see like they still have like their arm hair and stuff it's so interesting i used to have a really big fear of death

I feel like... But I think I overcame that. I don't know. I would... I maybe not want to donate my body to science, though. Like, not... I mean, I probably still will because it's like, I don't know what's happening. But, like, the way people just... I don't know. Does anyone else... I just... Anyone in this room. Like, sincere question.

When I hear a sentence that gives me anxiety or I'm having thoughts that give me anxiety, I hold my breath until it stops. I was just holding my breath. I think we're supposed to breathe when we have anxiety. I know. In for three, out for five. But like can't. Well, that shouldn't give you anxiety. You're not a cadaver. But really educational, really cool. What the hell is a cadaver? A dead body. What a fancy schmancy word for that. Well, what do you want? Like...

It's crazy. It's at GCU. You know my favorite word in the world. Oh, rigor mortis. It's not even that. It's rigor mortis. Yeah, all the comments were like, it's rigor mortis. Well, we learn something new every day. It's two words. Yeah, rigor space mortis. The fact that she doesn't even know is what makes it so funny. I know, but it was so funny. She was so excited. She was so excited last time. She goes, rigor mortis.

And then I have this whole existential crisis about how the show Rick and Morty is all about the afterlife. Well, didn't we talk about that? That's why. And do you think that's why? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. It potentially could be. But in that same trip, when I sneezed and you said, zoom tight.

I, for weeks, for fucking weeks, I kept texting everyone. I kept saying, Gazoon space tight. Like, as in, like, G-A-Z-O-O-N space T-I-G-H-T.

Someone commented it on one of my posts and it's a full German word like on the screen. Put it on the screen. That is how it's spelled. I was texting everyone as if it was two English words. And you got so funny with it. You thought gazoon was an English word? No, she got so funny with it that she started just abbreviating it and it'd be over nothing. Like no, like Lila would like just do something completely like unrelated to a sneeze and then Trevi would just go gazoon. Gazoon.

No, it got to a point where you look at me across the room and just go, "Gun." -G-T. -Gasun type. -It's spelled like "Gasun." -G-E-S, right? -It's German. It's like H-E-I-T. -I thought it was like G-A-Z-U-N. -It's like G-E-U. -I think it's an S. -There's a D and an H. D-H-E-N. -Yeah, Erin. -Erin, I'm really sorry to do this to you, but I need the spelling. -Yes, it's an S. -Oh, yeah. -Gasun-d-hiet.

He slash it. German is a language I will just never understand. You know, my dad was born in Germany. Or wait, born in Germany? I don't know. He was wearing like little lederhosen as a baby and drinking beer and eating pretzels. What the hell is lederhosen? He was like in Germany because my grandpa was stationed in Germany. I just start saying lederhosen all the time. Lederhosen are like overalls. They're like German overalls. It's like the attire they wear at like... What is it called? Lederhosen? Lederhosen. Yeah.

you're the funniest person i've ever met you're the funniest person i've ever met so were you so were you you guys i'm hilarious it's just the level of trevi's quickness sometimes actually scares me like i'm like actually how did you just do that she just read kazoo night and goes he slash it like at the end of it like how how the would you ever do stand up my mom gets on my ass she's like you're so funny like i want you to utilize it but like

When it's here Or like I'm just hanging out Like it just Flows out Of me But I feel like You could do like Story time Like style Stand up Where you're like Just telling a story Cause you know where Your little punch lines are Each time Yeah and imagine The fucking crowd work Like

Like the shit that you actually would just do off the cuff. Because you are quick like that. Shit, y'all. I would die. We should go. I'm going to do classes, like improv classes at Groundlings. I will come with you, bro. I think it would be so fun for us to just do. Because I do want to eventually at least try stand-up. Because I'm like, I can't go my whole life without trying it. And we're all so...

funny in so many different ways like we're all a different type of i think we all sing that's what i was i think we all like that like how like i was actually just thinking that because like when she's like when i just said that i was like no you're also the funniest person i've ever met but it's so different the way that the both of you are and you're just like yeah i just won't even know where it came from like how you thought of that every time i mostly have to be mean to be funny which sucks but it works

She is the only person I've ever met that like actually baffles me. Like, it blows my mind. It's like the really smart kind of funny. Yeah, like how are you? I'm awful at taking compliments. Me too. I'm like, but if anyone wants to direct in my way, seriously. I do think though that like it's helping. I have a new bit where like I'm out and someone compliments me. I just look them dead in the eyes and go, I know. Wait, did you guys see Kim Kardashian on the red carpet the other day for the GQ men with your thing? They go, they go, you look amazing. She goes, yeah. Yeah.

Her being man of the year is actually so kind. She goes, it's custom chrome. I love that. Because she is. What's the viral TikTok sound where it's like, I am a rich man. I am a rich man. I think it's Cher saying that. And Cher's her idol too, which is kind of cool. I know that a lot of like, what? Sorry. Me and Ari were at a party the other night and we're talking to this girl.

And the guy next to her goes, like, her name was, like, Lynn. I don't know. Hotel California is written about her. Like, the Eagles wrote Hotel California about her. Wow. And I'm, like, talking to her for a little bit. And I'm just, like, she's so fabulous. She's, like, this older lady. She's amazing. Me and Ari Google her. Her best friend is Cher. I'm, like. Of course. They are so. That's just, like, so iconic. I can just see you and Ari in the corner. He has a cup of tequila. And y'all are Googling away. No, it was so fun. And she's, like, this jewelry designer. It was amazing. But I'm, like, could you imagine Cher being your best friend and fucking.

Hotel California's written about you? Hotel California girls net worth. That was them.

Spilling tequila everywhere. It was Ari. And Ari's like, you look fabulous. He's like, you look flamazing. Flamazing is the craziest thing ever. Like, where did he come up with that? Flamazing. I don't know. Maybe he just added the FL because he loves Florida. Maybe. See, like how? Anyways. I don't know. I just want to say, I know that you hate that I am complimenting you, but you just launched a podcast. I did. And I have been waiting for this one.

Like no other. Like I'm so fucking happy. I'm getting used to it. I don't, I'm not used to that. Like I'm not used to sitting every week on a long form level. So it's like, I think once I really get into the groove of it, I'm going to like hopefully master it. Like you guys definitely inspired the fuck out of me because I just, I love watching everything unfold and like the character development and you guys in this fucking plane crash. Yeah.

Sorry, I just had to clap for about one. I love you. No, it's just like I've seen from the beginning, like when I was watching the first few episodes in rehab. Yeah.

I was like, wow, this is interesting. And then over time, and especially the second season, you guys have upped the fuck out of your game. And it was like, for me, I was like, whoa, I could be doing this. What Canceled Us Become is actually very mind-blowing to me. Oh my god. Because we started thinking we were going to just commentate pop culture, and now it's like... You're telling your whole lives. Yeah, we just didn't know, I feel like, in the beginning. Especially, I feel like you were more used to doing long-form content. I just didn't know. I just wanted to talk. But now, you notice...

or like at least I do anyway, like everything in life now, I'm like, Oh, podcast topic, you know what I mean? So every time something happens, I'm like, Oh my God, podcast topics. So it's like, you don't think about that so much in the beginning, but like the more you do it all of a sudden it'll be like, okay, well I have my whole, and then they're listening and they're like, well, that's funny. Cause you literally never have any topics and it's cause I forget them.

But I also will just give my flowers to like Oscar and Aaron and love them. Like so much of the upping of canceled is like, yeah, because the people behind the scenes that do so much and they care city. Yeah. Like having city in general care. Absolutely. We should do this or like, don't say that. Or like, you know, it's like, it's the whole story behind it is so funny. Like,

My co-host was my manager at my sober living in New York City. Oh, really? Yeah. And you're not supposed to be friends with your, right? No, but she doesn't work there anymore. Yeah. So she like moved to LA like with me. Like she got her own place and like literally flew back with me. And when I was leaving New York, she quit her job and came back with me. She's like signed to one models, I think. So she's just like came out here and switched her agency. Even that's just such a beautiful story.

I know. It's just like so funny because like I came in two months sober, like fresh out of my seventh rehab. And literally every night, like she would breathalyze me, give me my medication, like would make me pee in a cup twice a week. And now we have a fucking podcast together. I love that. She's never been in a cup. I'm like, you're so boring. Yeah. It's just like fucking nuts. And she's the best. And yeah, I'm just so excited to like.

Me too. I've seen clips I want to watch. I haven't seen the full episodes yet because I'm a bad friend. No, you're fine. I honestly like I'm

I want people to start watching it when there's a lot more episodes. I love someone who has the opportunity to binge me. Honestly, amazing. It's like a show. I will never watch a show that doesn't have a full season. It was brutal. T and I were watching American Horror Story and we had to wait every single week. Have you seen the new American Horror Story? Yeah, well, I watched the first episode and I was like, I can't do this and now I'm waiting for them all to be done. Are they done? No, do you want to fucking check this one out? Obsessed with it, by the way.

It's the best show I've ever seen in so long. Which is crazy because I feel like it might trigger you. All the stalking? And the selling your soul of it all. It's very interesting. But I love Kim Kardashian. And seeing her act in a role has actually just been the coolest thing to me. Because it's like, I think it's so hard to act when you're so known for being you. And then her playing this role that's like Kris Jenner and just so cool, whatever.

halfway through the season they like stop it apparently this was always supposed to happen but they stop it and say the rest is coming out like next year like i'm sitting on a cliff like a show like that where they like stop it uh for like part one of the season and then they take like the the hiatus and come back at the beginning of the year i hate that it's like how euphoria like comes out like once every five years well that is great are they gonna release another season and why am i not on it

You are so euphoria coded. Am I? Yeah. Like you thrive in a show like that. Can we have Chloe Cherry on now that the SAG strike is over? Yeah. So we were going to have Chloe Cherry on and the SAG strike happened. So you can't really like talk about things that you're working on. Yeah. And she was like, I want to wait to come on so I can like talk, like tell you fucking shit about euphoria. Yeah.

I'm like, now that it's over. I'm so excited. I am too. I love her. I love her too. I've never met her, but she's gorgeous. I've watched all of her porn. That's what I was going to say. Like, I think the rebrand. Every single video. I respect someone so much who can go from one extreme to another and make it a fucking slay. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you've done it. You've done it. I've done it.

She's done it. Chloe Cherry. Like, it's so fucking cool in any way. It doesn't have to be porn, but like making one hop from a place to another and changing it.

I just, because we love to see like someone's story evolve like that. Like, I think it's the best thing ever to watch. But I also have so much respect for the Euphoria director for being, I think he ever so literally like saw her porn and was like, she's perfect for the show. I'm pretty sure he, no, I'm not kidding. No, he wrote the character for her, I think. Well, and that goes back to the Kim Kardashian thing. It's like people were hating on,

her in the American Horror Story because they're like she can't act of course they had to like make a role around her it's like bitch you guys love it like people want to see that

Yeah. She's fully slaying the character as is Chloe Cherry. I don't like like the concept of like people not wanting like reality stars to be able or like in social media people to be able to act. I know. It's like why like there's so many people who are so good at it too and it's like people are always just gonna have something to say about it. And so much of what that is like doing social media and reality is acting. Kim's been acting for a while. You know what the fuck. She was acting happy in the past.

marriage that makes me i had a thought on our podcast conversation that i was just thinking about her and i we had a show somewhere what city was that you know what i'm gonna say no i don't when we went to the waffle house what city was that maybe cincinnati her and i randomly got so high by accident and we're high as hell her yeah i know i don't know what was going through my head and we have this like

insane, weird, existential conversation where we're like, it's so weird that so much of what our life revolves around is kind of having like...

I don't want to say a fake conversation every week, but like a staged conversation. Like we could talk about something and then we'll podcast about it. It's an organized conversation. Exactly. I don't think anything on here is staged. Yeah, no, it's not staged, but we were kind of saying like how a lot of times we'll revisit a conversation and I will react the same way I did in, you know, the original time, except now there's an audience. Yeah. And I won't say like, oh, I've heard this before. I'll just be like, no. You know what I mean? Right. And like, that's crazy.

I mean it's in especially like in our shows we notice it because the shows like are a lot of the same will repeat kind of stories you guys I will say though you guys are pretty good at like saving shit for the podcast we will like yeah you will say full-blown like fucking like canon events for this yeah yeah so like well that's like some of the stuff needs like a real reaction yeah I've been taking the time to write and finish my tell-all book because that's like

Have you ever heard the theory like where someone's like, if I'm in a toxic relationship, I'll like purposefully go so far to sabotage it so that I can say that person doesn't want me back.

you know like i mean no i haven't heard of it but like it makes sense i guess like trisha and i would always talk about that like all purposefully like if i know i need to leave you but i know i won't you'll leave you that they'll never take you back exactly like and i i feel like i'm using that analogy in relation to my life right now like i want to write a tell-all book and expose everyone who's ever done anything fucked up to me ever so that i love that idea come back

To those people. And to this life. Like, I actually am ready to end this chapter. You know that, you know? Is it going to be called Everyone is Cancelled? This chapter of my life. Yeah, I don't have a title. Everyone is Cancelled.

That's actually kind of fucking crazy. Um, shit. Good. Good to know. Cause I'll be, I'll try to stay on your good side. I know. I'm like, it's not you. It's not either one of y'all. You both do have chapters though. So I'm writing it. I do in chapter people. Yeah. Like I'm writing like each chapter is about a person. I'm like, what?

They signified for an era of my life. You know what I mean? I love that. And obviously there's a few chapters where I'm just going to expose the deep, dark shit of Hollywood that I've like seen, you know? And I put this one as a podcast topic because as I was writing about it, I was like, there's no way this is actually real. And we have to bleep the names. But I wrote,

About like how like essentially like all the biggest actors are most famous celebrities like do the most fucked up dark shit and like sexually like whatever just like so much dark shit. And we were going to podcast about this a couple weeks ago. Bleep, please. But like he's in on this. The sexual weird shit that they do. Like I wrote I need to like I'll say like celebrity one. But like well.

Right. Like the how they all fuck to their own shit. First of all, they fucked their own one. They fuck to their own shit. Like like like movies. Oh, I think like actual like scat like poop. No, that's John Mayer, though. Really? Yeah. Bleep that. Seriously. But maybe not. I don't know. But like the fact that it gets off on watching puts on headphones and plays his own movie and then has sex with women and can only come that way.

That's like the amplified version of a guy showing you his camera roll, you know? Well, here's the thing. If you go like deep, like in psychological about kinks like that, it probably comes from like an insecurity of like, this was my prime. This was like a moment where I like had my most success or looked my best. And like you kind of like for me, like,

I remember for me, addiction was all about like reliving, trying to relive one moment over and over and over and over. Whoa, that hurt me so much. That hurt me so much. Continue. So I remember when I was getting into ketamine, I had such an amazing experience and something really great happened like when I did this drug. So it was like a canon event that attached myself to this drug.

So that canon event could be attached to their prime or their movie or whatever. The reason I kept going and spending all my money on this drug is because I was trying to tap into the way that I felt and relive that memory. Chase that feeling. Yeah. How interesting. I wonder if they're like... Same with alcoholism too. Like not even just ketamine. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. But then it's like you... It never...

Will be the same. So then you need to do more and more. Yeah. Yeah. To always chase that feeling. That's crazy. One thing that I really appreciate you about. Is.

That was horrible grammar, but you got where I was going. Um, super is the way that you are able to like psychologically unpack things. I've never met anyone like that. Like I call you and we give each other advice for hours because it's like, even that, like, like the way you like psychologically unpacked your addiction and the way that you've helped me navigate psychologically unpacking mine. Like that's like a real, yeah. People don't realize like, like, Oh, it's just an organ. Oh, it's just my brain. Like,

i have to sneeze kazoon took my word i was waiting for someone to say kazoon space tight um like people are just like oh it's just a brain like it doesn't matter like i'm just living my life like no i don't have trauma it's like oh like when you like i remember like when i was in treatment like all these therapists were telling me like this about my childhood or like this this that it's like off and then i like really deep dive into it like and take it seriously on my own and like with my own therapist and like keep an open mind it's like

oh, maybe this happened and that's why I have that kink. Or maybe this happened and this is why I cry to that. It is. Everything's connected. I feel like it's hard. That is what's so crazy is that we're all just a product of our childhood and our traumas manifesting into different ways. And that's just what being an adult and growing up is, is realizing that. But then I find it so crazy that there's so many people who just live blissfully ignorant. They don't know that.

Even like you know what I mean? Well some people just are lucky they don't have to know. Why like you know some people just don't even experience any of the like negative effects down the line. You know when you meet a bitch like that. Yeah and you're like God I'm going to be you. Never been told to shut the fuck up. Never been hit in the face. But I like I don't know I feel like I'm so aware of what my issues are but I am not aware of their cause. You know what I mean? I haven't gone so far as to like find out like this is why I do this. Right. I

all of my like free time mental space like finding out why I am the way I am like I can't like I obsess over the psychology of like why I'm fucked up it's so crazy though because I did I studied it like that's lit that was literally what I went to school for I think that also could make it a lot harder yeah I think I just like sorry to cut you off but I was like in such denial like obviously I had like an adverse childhood situation but I always was like oh no I'm not affected by it and people would tell me like you're so you

You turned out so normal And like It didn't affect you that way So I just believed that And so then when things Started happening to me And like I started acting Like a certain type of way And I really started Having the whole like Personality situation I was like It couldn't be that Like No you're like I've gone all this time Perfectly fine But it's also actually Really crazy that A lot of trauma Manifests into masking Yeah

You know? Yes. It's like you mask so hard you convince yourself like I'm fine. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's true. And like major emphasis on like

choosing, not even choosing, but like when so many people will tell you the same thing over and over again, like, oh, you turned out just fine. And like, oh, you're such like an innocent girl or like, oh, this happened or like whatever people say, it's like when you hear it enough, like you believe it. And that's why like a lot of

Like, especially, like, when you guys, like, read the Reddit shit and, like, there's a bunch of hate comments and there's, like, a persistent comment. It's like you believe it. Yeah. And it's like, that's how I've been on YouTube for fucking 14 years. Like, I've gotten a repeating comment where it's like, I've seen it so much where it's like, oh, like, this just has to be true. It's so well put. Like, I think that that's, like, when I talk about...

I guess the psychology of social media and doing it for a living. And how much it affects you over time. Like you start to stop perceiving yourself the way you would and start perceiving yourself the way that people are. Well, yeah. And that's terrifying. Yeah. Because then it's like you wake up one day and you're like, who am I? Yeah. I think like I've talked about this before, but I think anybody who experiences some sort of fame at a really young age doesn't.

It's like the same as a Disney star. I don't like just because it's not relatively on mainstream media, like any sort of fame. And especially these days with TikTok, it's like even more people than Disney Channel. Like it's your formative years. It's your formative years. And like,

people in Disney had like a full blown team and therapists and like, there was no like comments really. It's like, we're in such a different era and it's like, we need to be protecting these kids because like you could end up like me. I don't know if you just saw, uh, Charlie D'Amelio did Jay Shetty's podcast and she went on there and she was talking about like, you know, she's like, I had this period of time where I was so successful. I had, you know, a hundred some million followers and it was like, I was doing so bad mentally and all the comments are like,

Oh, poor thing. Like champagne problems. You poor thing. And it's so frustrating for me to see because I'm like, nobody can imagine that. Like nothing. Like we've, I've had it on like the tiniest, tiniest little scale and it's so hard. And like people, like, I just can't imagine a hundred million people having something to say about me at that age too. Like I'm 27 years old and it affects me so much. Right. I think the problem of like what we do is that, and I,

Again, it is a champagne problem. Like, you sign this away for...

The benefits of this. But no one will ever validate our jobs. Like you're an influencer. You're fucking self-absorbed. You're like what? Because there's people out there saying, you know, it's so hard or whatever it is. And it's not. It's not hard at all. But it's psychologically no other job. You really have to deal with that. Like right. Being it's like Miley Cyrus has a good. She like she said something about it where it was like her. It's not healthy for her to be like subject and.

Like, right. It's not. She said that's not psychologically good for her. She's like, that's why she doesn't tour anymore, because it's not good on an everyday basis for it to just be like she's an object that somebody's observing like a spectacle. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just there's no other job in the world where your work crosses over into just being you for a living. Like the way that you pay your bills and keep your lights on is insane.

Like, most people get to be themselves and then go do whatever their work is. And then, you know what I mean? Like, crossing that over into everything. Yeah, and especially, I feel like, if the logistics of our job, like, someone who really takes it seriously, like...

has the team, schedules things, shows up to things, wake up early, plans everything. It is a lot of work. I'm not saying that it's the easiest thing in the world, but people who just think that you just wake up and fucking finger yourself and fucking make a million dollars, it's like... But that's so much of it. So much of the job is ensuring that people...

Because being relatable is what sells and what pays the bills. So many people are ensuring that you... I want everyone to just think I'm making dumbass TikToks and talking uncancelled and whatever. They don't know the work that goes behind that. That's kind of the beauty of it as well. The effortless effort. Yeah. I just think emotionally... Sometimes I'll look back and think about other jobs that I've had and I'm like, God, what a simple time. Because nobody...

That's why I'm like finally actually burnt out, tapped out. Like I'm just like even downstairs right now. Lila was just reading to me Reddit, right? And Reddit hates my guts right now. Reddit thinks I'm the worst person to ever live. But it just swings back and forth. It's either her or me. Like a pendulum. Yeah. And four months ago I was an angel on earth on Reddit. And both of those perceptions are not reality at all. Like the fuck, you know? Yeah. And like...

like i was just actually leaving my own body while she was reading to me all these like horrible things people are saying about me and i'm like it's so crazy because it's like that's why i can't read it because it's like yeah but i have the like i was telling trisha about this it's like an actual self-harm thing like i read it knowing that you're gonna like it's gonna hurt me but i can't help it it's like if same thing is like imagine knowing that everybody's talking shit about you in a group chat like

you're gonna want to see it like yeah i don't know it's like yes that's what it feels like this goes deeper than that it also just goes into like men and dating it's like a specific type of man that you know is going to hurt you yeah it is there's like it could even honestly like be back to the thing that i was saying about like reliving a moment like if one guy fucks you over really badly

And you like absorb that type and seek it. Like you find people that are like that, that you know will break your heart. Tell them what clothes they wear, bitch. People don't talk about the addiction to emotional self-harm enough. Yes. Well, that's what it is because it's not physical. So people don't like consider it to be that way. But that's like, especially like my whole like BPD situation. All of my things like that have always been like non-physical. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Like it, whether it's like eating, like, you know, binging or whatever, or like looking at Reddit or something like that, it's always something that I'm doing that I know is going to hurt myself and make me feel like horrible. But like you said, everything's connected. Like you're hurting your brain and you're like stressing yourself out. And like that can manifest in so many different ways. And just the addictions to dopamine. Like I, yeah. People have nicotine, everything, nicotine, alcohol. Well, that's like the whole concept right before, like, or behind a trauma bond where it's like,

You get so much dopamine from when you come back together with somebody after like extreme conflict. Me and Dan. It's how people end up in like abusive relationships. 100%. How do we get here? I'm like, isn't it tight? Oh my God. It's so tight. It's so tight. Wait, should we be funny?

Yeah. Like, wake up. I'm like, dance monkey. That's actually, like, our problem, you and I at least, is we'll, like, be being funny, having a lighthearted conversation every single time we go existential, though. Like, we, like, like the conversation just progressively. But that's, that comes with your intelligence. Like, you know? Yeah, I am, like...

like I admire that you actually take the time to like learn about it and stuff because it's like I know and I know I should probably but it's like some of it I just don't want to know because it's like and why why would you you know it hurts it

Ignorance is so blissful. I said something a while ago to an ex of mine. That who, when there's so many, I know so real, um, about how I think that so much of what plagues me mentally is my crippling self-awareness.

He's actually about to title an album cripplingly self-aware. So when that comes out, we'll all know. That's actually... You need royalties. Yeah. And I'll never get one. If you trademark it right now, you can. Writing credit, please. TM. Like... Trademark. Tana Mongeau. Trevi Moran. Yeah, just crippling self-awareness plagues you. Like, knowing is the death of you mentally. Yeah. Like...

People who don't know are happier. And, like, I respect and completely understand what you're saying. You're like, I don't want to fucking know. Because, like, why would you? To an extent, we are all pretty self-aware and, like, know a lot about this kind of stuff. Like, the people that are really...

ignorant and the people that have never been told to shut the fuck up it's like I can't hang out with people that are like so bubbly and don't know what's going on like I need the deepness and like I need I almost need someone to have trauma to be friends with you attract other people who are mentally ill because it's like love

No, it's true. Love a psych ward outside the psych ward. It's true, but I'm not going to keep a friend who can't understand why I act the way that I act or feel the way that I feel. Like, I can't. I've always said understanding is like my love language. Like with people, if I feel understood and seen and heard by someone, that's how I'll fall in love with you. Like a friend or anyone, you know? I also don't even think, though, that every time that means it's a trauma bond.

I think it's relatability because there is healthy relationships of people who have trauma. It's just like, I want to know. I just mean like, I know. Yeah. It's just like some people will label it and be like, Oh, like,

You're friends with this person because or you're dating this person because it's a trauma bond. And it's like, maybe I just prefer to like know that someone's been through similar shit than like as me. Yeah. No, I just know like before I was mentally ill, I didn't understand it. Like I could not wrap my head around it. Like my mom is a drug addict. I would look at it and I'd be like, just stop doing drugs. Right. Duh. Yeah. Like just stop until you're mentally ill. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't super. Well, you know what I mean? Like then all of a sudden I was like, oh, she's like your your brain. So one thing that's really special about like alcohol specifically is in benzodiazepines. It's your body.

physically attaches its cells to the substance. Isn't that why those are the only two things that can kill you during withdrawal? Yeah. So it's like when you're like, when it's like, Oh, put the bottle down, Trevi, put the bottle down. Like someone else. It's like,

Not only can they not do it, if they put the bottle down, their cells in their body and the homeostasis in their nervous system can absolutely freak out and they can have a seizure and die. I remember people would get so mad at me when I would wake up and grab a seltzer, grab a white claw and put it down. I just wanted to put it down. It's like,

Like, oh my God. Like, I feel like I'm going to die if I don't have this. Like, you don't fucking understand. Real. Yeah. You don't understand. So it's like... But someone who's never experienced that feeling or doesn't know, they're always going to look at that. It's the same. I remember my ex one time said like something along the lines of like, well, your mom could have just stopped. If she really wanted to stop, she could just stop. It made me so... Who said that? But it pissed me off so bad because I'm like, what the...

if you can't understand that addiction is like a real thing but also just being a boyfriend is so horrible yeah and just like but but that is like my biggest fear in a person is like them not understanding that like mental illness is like a a thing yeah you can fucking you can see it on a scan absolutely are those the infamous earrings

I love them and they're beautiful thank you right bodega earrings I'm so but like I love when boys try do you know what I mean like it makes my literal heart so I keep making my new boyfriend say I keep making him say like that's so like I'm like teaching him that like I think there's something about like like him going bodega like

I put on my jewelry. Where you get a bagel? Well, she put her jewelry on just to go to the bodega. So I guess it makes sense. These are the anthro. Bodega. Bodega and the bodega. But these are a bodega dupe. Do you know what a dupe is? A face?

I mean, yeah. It's a duplicate at a cheaper price, essentially. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm so proud of you. I'm not going to go like smiling your dear. Yeah. I can't believe I look like this on the cancel podcast right now. I'll send you the skin smoother plug in. Aaron, airdrop. Seriously.

It's just like the contrast too because Chervie's like literally dressed to the nine. Like going to the Met Gala. Well, you guys invited me. Going to the store. I've never... Going to rehab. Super. Super. I'm like, I hope. I'm just joking. Would love to fuck off and do that. I think like everyone deserves like a little treatment moment. Like it's not even about like if you're addicted to something. I mean, it is fully, but someone who...

needs a break and needs to learn about themselves can benefit from any sort of like absolutely going away for a month or two is it just where i'm really so expensive i get insurance to cover it oh i don't have insurance i need to work on that get insurance i know i remember the first time i ever got insurance so i was like i fucking made it i feel like studio 71 would give you guys insurance i really do need like some honestly some sort of insurance like because it's

I feel like it's just reckless to not have it. My sister didn't have insurance when her accident happened. Oh. And her medical bills were, like, over $2 million. But then you just don't pay it right and send it to collection stuff. Yeah, but it can fuck your credit. Fuck your credit score, zero. Yeah, I think there's, like, emergency situations, like, you can do in that case, like, access and stuff. But still. Yeah. She's, like, acting like an NPC on TikTok Live. Yeah.

Wait, is that fucked up? Ice cream's so good. Did you say she almost was an NPC? No, I don't even know what that means. You're the funniest person I've ever met. I feel like we have to get more lighthearted. Yeah, I agree. NPC means non-playable character and in video games when you're like... I know, I do know what that means but I don't know what kind of context I was using it in. Huh? Super. Wait, sorry, I was doing both. The ADHD did not work out for me. Yeah, we should be more funny.

Uh, gay son or thought daughter. You actually just took the words literally not kidding out of my mouth. Gay son or thought daughter. Why does it work in every situation? If you ever need to make something funny, like that's just what you say. I... And then I'm going to ask you my cousin question. Personally think gay son because I feel like I would know how to navigate his struggles because I experienced it. You made it so deep. Now you're experiencing thought daughter. But now I'm experiencing so much thoughtiness. Yes.

You have been on your slut shit. And I love that, though. Same so much. I need the guidance. I just like... I want a thought daughter. I want to so bad, but I just like can't bring myself to actually meet up with these people. Yeah. Okay, let me give you my final answer. Okay. Gay son who turns into thought daughter. Wow. That is really specific. It's giving mirror. Love mirroring myself onto my children. So you...

Where would you say the majority of men you hook up with are from a dating app? I see. I love going out, too. So like all like I love a man who just like it's a little bit taller than me in my heels and comes up to me. Like I honestly meet a lot of people out. I don't fuck, though. I don't. You don't. You did, though. I had a whole HIV spiral. Oh, my God. No, I didn't have a spiral. Oh, I did have a spiral. But it's like the first time I had unprotected sex.

In a very long time, this person did not, like, come across as if they had anything. But, like, I had one friend who was like, oh, my God, like, I can't believe you had, like, I'm like, okay, shit. Like, made sure I got the meds, like, that day. Just, like, obviously, like, it's better to be safe than sorry. It is. But I have that, too, where I'm just, like, so irrationally afraid of it.

That like, oh my God. I used to like literally get tested every single day. Now I just don't have sex like that. But I also probably never did. I just used a condom for the first time. Not kidding. Literally ever. That's what I'm saying. It's like you have so much sex without a condom and it's like you haven't gotten it. Like I have it one time. It takes one time. I know. True, true. It does take one time. I used a condom. I used a condom. And I was like, whoa, this is what this feels like. Like it was so strange. It was like rubber glove sex.

Do you guys want to know something horrible that happened to me one time? I just told this story on Plain Bree stage or whatever. One time, have I ever told the gonorrhea of the throat story? I probably haven't, seriously. One time, after Mindy Gate. Which one?

My Mindy, my Mindy gate. Okay. I was fucking and already. Wait, no, no, no, no. But it adds to the story because he was an NPC though. So like, but I had a sore throat after that. Okay. Oh, and I'm looking into it and I'm like, this is like, it doesn't feel like any sore throat I've ever had before. Okay. So I start looking into it. I find out that it,

Is possible. If somebody has gonorrhea, you can get it in your throat. Yeah. Okay. So I'm looking into it and I'm like, I...

have gonorrhea super gone obviously i have gonorrhea of the throat so i i go to urgent care because i don't even have it i don't have a fucking like everyday doctor and i tell them crazy clip i'm like listen to me i have gonorrhea of the throat okay like and i go treat me for it now and they go listen like the test takes a couple days we can treat you for it but whatever but at the time i was hooking up with one guy that i was like i was only hooking up mostly with him

And I knew he wasn't hooking up with anybody else. So I was like, oh my God, I have to tell him. Yeah. Because I just probably gave him gonorrhea. So, but like, okay, continue. So I go to this man. Literally, it was dehumanizing. I go to him and I have to tell him like, I am so sorry. Not only did I hook up with somebody else, but I got gonorrhea from this person. And then I gave it to you. Okay. I have goosebumps. He is furious. Wait.

He's so distraught. He's so disgusted with me. He already didn't want to date me. Now he definitely just thinks I'm like the last person on earth that he would ever date. Right. And I'm fucking traumatized. Okay. But I had to tell him because I didn't want to get it back from him. So he goes against his will. He gets treated for it. And I get my test results back a couple days later and I did not have gonorrhea of the throat at all.

No way that's how that story ends. I never knew that. I knew it was going to end like this. You didn't even have to have that conversation. I never had to have that conversation. But you can't undo that. Even telling him that I didn't have it and he didn't have it doesn't matter because the damage was done. Him fully going on antibiotics. From a lie. He got a shot in his ass for me. From a lie. At the time. From just a hunch I had. At the time you convinced me I also had it. Because. Well yeah because I was like she's got to have it because she also hooked up with that man.

This is like a dirty story. Right. So dirty and gross. But I was, so my teeth, my bottom teeth were hurting like so bad. And apparently that's a symptom of gonorrhea of the throat. And she hated me at the time, but I'm like, bitch, you have gonorrhea. But. Right. And mine's gonorrhea. Essentially, like I had just gotten dental surgery, right? Yeah. So my bottom teeth are all hurting. I'm,

Oh, bending over backwards convinced that I also have it now. Like, because it's a symptom, like whatever, like what she was saying, blah, blah, blah. I was on clindamycin from the dental surgery, which also treats that if you have it. Yes. So you did a knockout. Yeah. Yeah. You did a fucking two for one deal. But still just like, could you? Oh my God. And then like, she never had it. We never had it. Like, but I was just so convinced. And I'm like, I take pride in the fact that I've never had an STD. She's never been tested. Yeah.

Well. Right. Right. I've been tested. You can't have an STD if you've never been tested. You really can't. But you go on antibiotics enough that you probably knock it out a few times. Yeah. Like, I'm just happy I don't have like. It's, I know you, like, no offense, I'm not saying you have, but I have twice.

Yeah. What, you've gotten STD? Yeah. I've never gotten STD and I've been a moment lately. But I'm like not sexually active like that. It's not like I've had sex with all these people. Maybe, I mean, I was, like college is like just a breeding ground for that shit. Yeah, breeding ground? That's the most insane thing that's ever come out of your mouth. What? A breeding ground. Isn't that what people

will say yes i've never went to college i never went to college i've never heard of that in my entire life well it's just like that's what pete like everybody one person has to get chlamydia for everybody to get chlamydia that's like what happened with timidly like imagine someone imagine someone like you meeting someone on a dating app and they're like come over to my breeding ground like i could i've never have you ever had an std no liar it's just not that like i could

Maybe, like, am I going to regret saying that? I don't know, but, like... Well, it could have been. I know because I get tested so often. Yeah. And that's why I know I've had it twice. I was using her for, like, six months as my tester. That's not how that works. Wait, so that's not how that works at all, babe? No, but we'd hook up with the same guy and then she'd go get tested and be clean. First of all, I want to just clear something up really quickly because this is such a common misconception. We have never been hooking up with the same guy at the same time ever.

That is not true. It's always like so far apart that it's crazy. I haven't hooked up with him in forever. Yeah, no, we're done with that. Thank God. But like actually he texted me yesterday. Have we ever hooked up with the same guy? I don't know. I feel like yes. If I just have to guess. I know I've hooked up with the same guy as one of your roommates. I was just telling the story of when you were locked in that New York apartment. Piss gate. But like I don't want to like highlight that.

A dark time. I don't mind, but yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no. Pissgate was insane. What was Pissgate? Tell it. I'll defend myself. I'm a big girl. I'm two years clean. We're good. I haven't pissed in a bad sense, seriously. So... VMAs, right? Yeah, we all go to the VMAs. And Amari and I were unpacking this the other day, like...

I feel like when we were going to the VMAs, we thought that would be like forever. Like it was just like a Tuesday. Like it was like, oh, I'm going to the VMAs this week. Like there was no level of like this is going to end one day and I will no longer be attending the VMAs, you know? It was really important for me because I was like I've always wanted to go to VMAs because I've been like making music forever. But like I had to be drunk for it.

Piss drunk actually. I would just put on dumb shit and then be a ragdoll puppet and you know be there like I didn't know I didn't know what I was doing like do you know what I mean? Yeah. I just I didn't realize that at the time you know. So we all go to New York for the VMAs right and we're all staying in this Airbnb and there's like fucking 15 of us in this New York three bedroom apartment like it's like

You know that feeling too when you're like in an Airbnb with way too many fucking people for the Airbnb, you know? And so we're all staying in this apartment and we go to the VMAs and we go out that night. And by the time we'd gone out, you were definitely Travorkis, you know? Which I'm not talking shit on. I'm Tanorkis, you know? But Trevi used to always do this thing.

Where like you'd get drunk as fuck and you'd want to like go back to wherever we were. And you'd like want the key for it. You know what I mean? Well, because I was like, I knew that if I stayed out for like, like subconsciously, I was like, I have to get to a bed. Yeah. Because I'm unwell.

Yeah, I'm like that too, though. I always know when it's time and I just send my cell phone. But so the key for this Airbnb was like an actual physical like gold key. And we only had one, right? No pin, no touchpad. At all. And you're begging for the key and we're all telling you no, no, no. And you used to be so funny in the drunk era. Sorry. No, you're always funny. I'm saying this was funny. Like what you do is it's like.

Whatever Trevi wanted when she was like that drunk, like she would go to the ends of the earth to get it, you know? And didn't give a shit. Like would have 5 million Twitter followers and be like, I'll tweet right now that you did this, that you did that. Like if you don't give me this key. I feel like you are this way. I'm not tweeting about. Like I'm not going to tweet like, I'm not going to tweet Trevi won't give me the hotel key. I'm not going to tweet Brooke and I are in Jortsgate right now. You know, like it's like. Oh, I would. Like.

would just like

You were getting that key no matter what, you know? Yeah, and if I had to take off my clothes in the middle of the box, I needed that key. You did that? I did, and I also passed out and fell asleep on Matthew Lerano in the middle of the box. And you didn't let her go home. No, but we're all saying, like, Trevi, we can't give you this one key. We don't trust you with it. Like, this one gold key, like, we all have to get in, you know? I couldn't walk this night. And no one wanted to, like... Put that in my hands. Oh. Well, like, what if you all went...

We were at like a VMAs like after it wasn't late like it wasn't late. Yeah, it was like 11 probably no and so You you're just you're doing your thing and you're like telling us like I will ruin all of your lives right now If you don't give me this fucking key, right? We give her the key and I'm sitting there. I'll never forget this moment I'm holding this in front of you. It's shining like a movie angle like yep, but I'm looking at you and I'm saying

Go to this apartment, but leave the door unlocked. If you're going to take this key right now in an Uber, leave this fucking door unlocked. Come hell or high water. Don't fuck all 10 of us over. Like, you know, like, please. And you're like, I will. I'm going to. I promise. Whatever, you know. Super. She goes back to the apartment.

And we all finally get there at like 5 a.m. Like we were out all night doing VMAs after shit. And we get there and the door is locked.

Oh no. And we start, I've never in my life have I banged on a door like this. Like I was, we started knocking. Oh, I would have been furious. No, everyone was, it was like 15 of us in a hallway. Everyone's furious. We're all banging with our knuckles. My knuckles were black for like a week after, like the way I was banging on this door, not answering the door.

I call her and I remember the number. That's how well I remember this. I call you 36 times. Three six. So is Natalie. So is everyone. We're banging down the door. We're trying to get in and the Airbnb owner is like, it's 5 a.m. I can't help you. Like I could come tomorrow if you want. And we're all fucked and all our shit's inside and we're fucked. We're so fucking fucked. It's actually insane.

And people from the other apartments are like coming out. Well, because you guys were like screaming, Travi, Travi, Travi, right? At the top of our lungs. Yeah. Banging down the door, breaking all of our knuckles. At one point, I start flailing my body at the door. I'll never forget. I like body check the door, like shoulder. Like trying to break the door? Trying to break the door down and just trying to wake you. We were playing your favorite music on full volume at the door trying to wake you up. I imagine that's what does it, like Gaga, you're like...

I know. I opened the door with doing the choreo. I see like this is like we finally Trevi finally gets up after. I'm not kidding. Like four and a half hours of this shit. And it's all of us just live not four and a half hours. I'm not. Maybe two. OK, that's still awful. No, no, no. Like, no, I'm not mad about it. It's a hilarious story now. OK, we open the door. I hate I didn't realize it was like this. But yeah.

No, don't hate it. It's hilarious. I've been so horrible and awful in so many scenarios. So true, yeah. Thanks for saying that. That's friendship. Yeah, super. Super, thank you. That's friendship. We all have had our moments where we're all awful to each other, but we love each other. We opened the door. Wait, I opened it? No, no, you finally opened the door. Okay. And you're just sitting there like this. And it's 10 of us just livid. And everyone walks in.

And I hate to even say this part of the story or anything. Like, I don't even like this part of the story. Smells like a puppy pad. Piss. Piss.

Oh, he'd on the couch like it was a toilet. Pete on the floor like it was a toilet. Pissed all over. I get how I didn't mean to. But in my defense, the very next day I paid like five hundred dollars for someone to come over and steam the couches. And I was going to say I woke up to a cleaning crew.

Yeah I was on it I felt so awful when I sobered up Well no one means to piss themselves everywhere But I've done it I just threw up in my own bed a couple days ago Were you actually in the bed? Like on the pillow? You threw up? Hungover or still drunk? So hungover but like well probably still drunk Yeah I was like not okay Like I was like asleep

Asleep and throwing up. Yeah, see, that's really dangerous. Yeah, I know. That's how people like, what's it called? Asphyxiate. Yeah. You go, what's it called? I almost just said croak. Like, that's not the word you're looking for at all.

No. That's how people what? Croak. Nope. Not what she's looking for. I didn't mean to. It's that pirate water. No, it was the funniest fucking like. Like looking back at it for sure. Because it's like, why are we mad? We're here for the VMAs. Why am I that drunk? You're here for the VMAs. Do you think we'll ever go to the VMAs again? Heather Johns. Well, I've never been. No. But I do actually have a really fun thing to tell you. Oh, I want to know. It's all the VMAs. But.

They're shooting a new Escape the Night. Shut the fuck up. It's six people. Oh my God, I want to go on it so bad. And I don't know if I can actually say what it is. Okay. But it's not a show. It's very different. It's a movie, right? Yeah. And I'm swindling to get you on it with me. I want to go on it so bad. Wait, include me. I'd be so good. Let's tell Joe you're suffering now. Tell him we'll have so much good drama. It'll be amazing. No, they want us to act. I have to be a 1950s...

Girl. Oh my God. I want to be on it so bad. It would be so good for us to do together. It'd be so fun. I'm doing everything to swindle a joint escape. Oh my God. I really want to let it be. I would love that. I love Joey. I remember when we went to VidCon, like I think it was your first or second VidCon. And it was like when everything was really happening for you. And I was like,

We like walk in to like the main area and there you are just like plastered on like the. No, but do you know that at the time they still wouldn't give me a future creator band? Yes. My billboards were everywhere all around VidCon and they were like, no fucker. And that's what like stemmed the spite to do TanaCon. Right. Because I was like, how are you going to sell me to everyone here? Right. And yeah, kind of crazy. Do you know, as you know, I'm in my.

Weird era where I'm changing my whole life and I'm thinking about everything I wrote down like step back from the rebrand Yeah, I wrote down ten of my favorite moments of my entire life like when I was like my happiest and like why? And one of them was the first VidCon ever like us there It was it was amazing. Yeah, I've never gotten to go really. It's just so different now. Yeah, I haven't been in a few years It's just like

it's a lot of like diy channels and kids channels i'm also not really like a youtuber but like i want to go but your personality like now everything's just so tiktokified like this was at the time it was like oh my god i'm meeting jenna marbles like there's 15 oh my god i'm meeting fucking like like all those people even like i was such a youtube like i can't even think of like like i know i mean i had this um

weirdly like deep ass talk with my new man about like the psychology of old YouTube. Okay. And like what it like was like how there were like 10 people and like,

He was saying to me, he was like, I would do anything to create a server, right? Like of like a new server where it's like, it looks like that era of YouTube and you're receiving those, those same old videos. Like again, as if they're like popping up in your subscription, not even like the like and dislike button. It's the stars. Do you remember when it was the stars? You could rate a video, like five stars, like a fucking Uber. And we were just talking about the fact that it was like 20 people. Like now it's thousands of people doing like everything, everywhere all at once.

Cause I feel like what's so crazy is like what you guys consider like the first YouTubers and stuff. I'm like, I had different YouTubers that I was like obsessed with and they like, they just ended up like, like where's Fred?

It was Fred. It was like Fred and like Ray William Johnson, Shane Dawson, Jenna Marvel, Jenna Marvel, Smosh. I loved like the beauty girls though. Like the Juicy Star of seven. Oh, two L's. Yeah. Juicy Star and her sister, all that glitters. Um, Mac Barbie. Oh seven. I was talking to Alexis about. Yeah. And then I just, she paved the whole way. I just seen. I love, I just seen. Yeah. Yeah. And then I feel like it,

almost into like the second era, which was like Paul Brothers, like Dobrik, Casey Neistat. But even that is like so crazy. Like the differences in eras and now it's just everyone. That feels like they were so far apart. Yeah, they were. I mean, I... They weren't.

They were. Yeah. It was like, well, it was like Paul brothers and like rice gum and like face. Yeah. And at that one point, whenever there's like eras, like new eras happening, like you'll start to see them like crossover. Like people will like collaborate, like as something's transitioning and then like,

it like feels like it's like an out with an old and with the new. I want that to start happening again. Slow transition. I remember the first time I filmed with David Dobrik. I was like, I like viscerally remember it. That's how I found out about you. That's how I knew who you were. I swear to God. Yeah. That's why like, cause I saw people think like I did, like I knew who you were before I met you, but I was like, Oh my God, that's Tana Mongeau from David's vlogs.

Yeah, and I followed you on Instagram because of that. And then I was like, oh, she's an Instagram model. It's so weird because that was such a blip in like my life and career, you know? Yeah, but it was like right when I got here and I was like, I was so into Vlog Squad and stuff that I was like, that's just like how I found you. And then I just started following you. Like I remember filming with him for the first time and being like, oh, I'm leaving an old era. Like this is the new era. Oh, you see, that's what I mean about like when you start to like collaborate with new creators. It's all about like strategy and technique on like

staying, not even staying relevant, but staying up to what is popular. And now I'm like, now it's like collaborating with a TikToker. Every, yeah, exactly. Every industry is changing, like including the music. Like I remember I would release music and, um,

you'd like tweet and like post for people to like buy it on itunes and like then it slowly crossed over into like streaming and like playlists were so important and like now playlists aren't really that important and now it's all about tiktok it's so like every industry involved evolved because you were releasing music when it was just sold on itunes yeah through stem is that what you do

Back then, I was doing it through like TuneCore. Yourself? Yeah. That's so fucking nice. With fucking Charlie Puth producing everything. Yeah. Wait, that's iconic. I know, but then he like sued me. Seriously. Oh. Well, he didn't. No, he didn't. His label did, yeah. Why? For one of my songs because apparently that he wanted more credits, like more royalties on one of the songs.

But we had an agreement that was already signed. And he had See You Again out. And he was making probably millions of dollars. I didn't understand why his record label was reaching out to him. I was like 16. They were threatening to sue me. Did you have to settle? Fuck no. Fuck no. It's my song. I own the master. I was like, fuck no. We can go to court, bitch. It wasn't actually Charlie. It was his team. When you started O2L, did you know I'm going to be a musician? I always have wanted to involve myself.

in the music industry as an artist and I don't care

what avenue I need to take to get there. Yeah. If I have to fucking shake my ass on TikTok or fucking do YouTube videos or whatever it may be, dance in an Apple store. Cause like my beginning, even with that, it's like everything has been about music in some way, shape or form. What about X Factor? Sexy and I know it. Sexy and I know it, X Factor. I can't, I can't run away from that. It's the greatest thing that's ever happened. Aaron, have you seen it? It's the most iconic thing ever. Trevi was on X Factor. Yeah.

And it's Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, all of them on the panel. And they're just like gagged. Like it's the funniest, most amazing thing ever. The fact that like 10 years later. I get chills when I think about it really. I don't remember it at all. I don't remember that happening. Isn't that the craziest thing? The most pivotal parts of your career. If you're going through some shit, you trauma block them all. I don't remember what it felt like to be on that stage. I don't remember meeting Britney Spears. I don't remember anything. Oh my God, how sad. Yup. Real. Yeah.

Makoa's calling me. Yeah, I think like it's just very weird and like 10 years later that it's like it's weird to see like myself like that because it's like I like in my head when I was on that stage I just know I like thought I like in my head like had like long hair and like fucking heels on. Absolutely. Bitch, it was slip on the ends in a v-neck. Yeah.

Get it together. I need to be that for Halloween next year. It was so, I want you to remake it. Like literally just make like a fabulous version of sexy and I know. Right. Oh my God. You actually really should. I literally, I do. I said this on someone else's podcast. When I walk on by.

I literally can I can I remember that video so well because I saw that video when it happened like making it poppy and like putting the vocals on it like re-recording it because they told you to perform that song right well that's what I was going to say it's like I said this on Coco Moco's podcast and I was like

I truly think that the producers wanted me to be like one of those laughingstock auditions like the American Idol ones but you were just so good but I couldn't take that like I couldn't be like I'm gonna go on there and know that everyone's gonna laugh at me and like I'm gonna fail at 10 years old literally 12 I think but yeah same thing essentially and it's like I went to a vocal coach I was like I need to make sure that I like

slay this and whatever melody changes or how Broadway we need to make this. Do you remember what song you wanted to sing? Yes, and I sang a little bit of it and they cut it out. They stopped me. What song? It was part of me by Katy Perry. Oh my God, that would have slayed. Which is so full circle, by the way. Yeah, that's crazy. Crazy, right? I love that like true pop, like people are making like pop music again. The Y2K, all the Timbaland sounds are coming back. I'm making a lot of shit like that right now. Tate McRae is slaying. Sure, fucking...

Ux's video I've watched it at least a million times It's fucking insane Well that's what it is The fact that she's a real fucking dancer She's so good Such a pop star And the actual video though Is like probably the best music video I've been watching Tate McRae since she was just a YouTuber I've been watching her since she was on So You Think You Can Dance Kids Like it's so crazy But I was a dancer so I was like I was all over that shit I knew every competitive like good dancer Yeah

First time I ever heard of her, I was on ketamine crying till you broke me first. No way. Super. So like she used to just sit down and like write songs at home and then just like sing like random ballads on YouTube. Create with Tate is everything. She should bring that back. I think that's what it was called. I don't know if I'm making it up. And then would like put the lyrics on the screen and you know I fucking obsess over lyricism. Like it's my actual like only obsession ever. Like that one girl you showed me on TikTok.

Jensen McRae. Wait, that's literally her last name. McRae. That's crazy. They're not related, right? No, they're, they're related. Holden. No, no, no, no. Tate. No, no, not related, but just so weird that I just brought that up. I didn't even know. I almost sent you this crazy song she wrote the other day. Like, Oh my God, I can't even, but, um, that like her just coming that far, like being, she was a YouTuber. Yeah. I love it. And I feel like, like,

Even a year ago, she was doing well and stuff, but I feel like next year she's going to be like Olivia Rodrigo. Because she's finally become so mainstream. She's on the radio. Yeah, and all her songs... Greedy went number one over everything for weeks. And fucking... That's what I'm saying about... I think it's next year. Yeah, it would be next year. And honestly, it's like...

She... Like, the TikTok of the part where I'm saying, like, the industry just moves. Like, TikTok is so important. It, like, makes so many artists... Like, her and, like, Ray...

the escapism song like that completely changed her whole life i've been listening to that girl forever and it's that bitch who made that song uh he turns on the big light uh katie katie something mcclared like that song like being the saddest song ever that would never go mainstream but tiktok sending it mainstream was the craziest do you have any advice for me on like a tiktok to me because i'm making an album and i need to like do you know make sure jake shane makes a tiktok to it

Okay, honestly, seriously. That has to be like the only thing. Like if Jake Shane makes a TikTok to it, I love it. Okay. Octopus love it. I love him. He's passing that puss. I had this conversation the other day where I was talking. What did you just say? He's passing that puss. He's passing that fucking puss. Tense up, bitch. What's his Instagram?

I know. I'm his biggest fan, actually. It's crazy. I just catch up and watch a thousand. But I had this conversation the other day. You might find this interesting. How I got close with J.P. Sachs. So I would always listen to J.P. Sachs' music. He writes the best sad song anyone could ever write, ever. And you know that's my favorite thing in the world. And I always listened to his music. And then we became friends. I don't remember exactly how.

but one day he was like i want to come over and i want to show you my new album okay and i'm and i'm like oh my god like i've never felt so make a wish like my favorite musician like that like my favorite musician in the world is coming over to show me his new album and he was like and i want your advice on how to make this into tiktoks wow and i was like how crazy is that that like

We now live in a generation where it's like no matter how good the music is, it just has to become a TikTok. It does. I know, and that's so stupid because he's someone who I think is genuinely one of the most musically talented people ever. And just like...

And TikTok's not really like picking up songs like that. I feel like sometimes. And you have to take your masterpiece and find the best six seconds of it and make it a dance or a trend. And then certain artists are like making songs with that in mind. Exactly. Yes. I completely agree. And I think that's where we get lost in translation. Yeah. And that's why. And then there will be six seconds that are good of the song.

And then the rest of the song, you're like, 100%. I completely agree. I find that so mind-blowing. I have a similar experience. I mean, she didn't ask me for TikTok ideas because it was like eight years ago. I was at Art Pop Tour Lady Gaga's show. And I used to have a lot of the same people on my team that also was on her team.

And they took me backstage to meet her. And she literally was like the nicest person ever. Of course. Took me to her dressing room. I saw all of her makeup. I saw all the products she used. I took a picture. Then she proceeded to tell me to sit down, played me the entire jazz album before it released.

I didn't even know that. I thought you only met Gaga at that sushi restaurant. No. Which was so funny. That is so iconic. And she's one like that feels so unattainable to me. I feel like that's how I'm the most famous person in the world. I stole a water bottle from her dressing room. I still have it.

I love that. Yeah. What? Yeah. Like that's fucking nuts. Yeah. That's crazy. Not to like, I wasn't trying to like one up you. It just like reminded me. I just know that feeling. I loved every second of that. Never, ever actually. Me being insecure and like defending myself from Reddit. Oh my God. Don't read it. Ever. That's like saying don't drink. So true. That's literally how it feels to me. The hair on the microphone. Tim Dillon is having a Friendsgiving.

join us i would love to i you know he's in milo's movie that i just saw no with addison ray and it was so funny because we have that tim dylan's in that movie yes doing what he's a big role in it and he it's funny because remember when he came on and he did the addison ray bit yeah and it just was so full circle of sitting there like oh my god this is so funny what's his like role he is a character i mean he's i don't i think what is he

I don't know. He's just like one of the main guys. Stop. I'm already dying to see that movie and I'm so fucking excited. It's a horror, right? It's a horror movie. It's kind of like lighthearted horror though. It's not like super scary. That's my favorite type of light. Lighthearted horror is in, but it's cute. Addison Rae Slade, Milo Slade, Megan.

You watched Megan, that movie? Uh-uh. Yes. We watched it together. I was cracking the fuck up. Like, lighthearted horror is kind of so in right now. I've been obsessed with the scary movies again. Yeah. Me too. I just watched all of them. Same. Like, it's... I just... Funny horror is underrated as hell. Marlon Wayans is so fucking funny. Marlon Wayans is so funny and so... Fucking Anna Faris is the funniest. Yo, she is so good. I love Anna Faris, like, literally so much. One time I was, um...

On a plane, on a jet suite to like, I think to Vegas and I get on the plane and I'm so hung over and I turned to my left and it's Marlon Wayans. Oh my God. He used to come in and catch every single day. I've told you about it. One time he circled his character in white chicks when I was still blind and he said that I looked like her. He sent it to me on Instagram and goes, you look like her. Wait,

I would never, ever, ever. Honestly, I would get offended. He would. Oh, no, he was. And I'm trans. No, it was like a funny joke because we, one time we were, I was walking him to his table and it's tricky was playing. And I turned around and I was like, you have to, like, you have to admit this is like hilarious. That, that, that, how do you, like, how do some people, and I know you guys talk about this. How do you not believe in that? There's something not, how do you not believe that there's something not out there?

Yeah. Put something like a perfect storm like that to happen. That that synchronicity. We know we're talking so much about like the synchronicity stuff because it's like some stuff. It's just like there's no way. And even like look at these fucking clouds. Like what? You know, it looks I don't know. I just like trying to find like wait, I want to hear more about the clouds thing.

Like they looked insane like a second ago, but like... You're saying like how are those real? Like how is... Like how are those plants growing? Like... So weird. I just don't understand. Like how...

I'll spiral, but why are we all two arms, two legs, teeth we're chewing? It just doesn't make sense. I just had a whole spiral about the fact that there's so much out there that just exists while we exist. Yes. I was laying with my man, and he looks up at a star, right? There's a million stars in the sky. Right. And he looks up at a star, and he goes, that's Jupiter. And I go...

what do you mean that's Jupiter? Like, how do you know that? You know what I mean? Right. And he's like, well, because stars twinkle and planets just like shine. He wouldn't know. Like whatever. Takes out an app on his phone. Oh, the star thing? The star app. I know, but the amount of times that Cynthia Parker has showed me Jupiter and it's Venus every single time.

There's no way she does that. Jupiter. She does it every time. And I'm like, Jupiter, it can't be in five places at once. But isn't that so weird that like the stars we see in the sky are different than the stars? Do you know, I just found out there's all these people in Hawaii that kayak to other like countries. Like they take a kayak and they fucking row to like another fucking country. And they use the stars as their guide.

Like there's no technology on the boat. That's what they did back in the day. Yeah, but like an actual canoe or like a big sail. I'm sure they're sailing. Those waves in Hawaii are crazy. Sister, nobody's kayaking to another island. I mean, it's bigger than like a small kayak, but no, they're rowing and there's no sail. That's crazy. I love Olivia Jade. And then we're sitting here. I do. I really do love her so much. Every time it's brought up, I'm just like, she's so good. And she's got Jacob Elordi. That's so cool.

I love that. You know what? She rode her way there and she deserved it. Jacob Elordi is actually like maybe the most attractive man alive. He has to be the most attractive man alive. I don't know. I don't. I think he's very attractive. I just like. Who's your number one celebrity crush? Like you'd die to date blank. You'd kill off a family member. Like I have people I would like literally do anything like fuck.

Like Central Sea, for example. Like I would let him. You had every choice in the world. No, I didn't say he was like, I said I would fuck him. Who's your number one celebrity crush? I think he's hot too, but like you had Matthew McConaughey and you chose Central Sea. Yeah. I really loved Justin Bieber back then, but like now I wouldn't. Whoa.

now I wouldn't well just like my experience with him I don't know maybe like yours is Matthew McConaughey who's yours like inspire me like tell me like the avenues that I can think of well mine aren't gonna do it for you Pete Davidson and Adam Sandler Adam Sandler is a good one but I don't think I want to fuck Adam Sandler I want him to be like my dad I would actually literally do anything for him to come on like your mentor oh my god

Holy shit. Does he have like a whole family? Yes, a beautiful family. Cut that. Kidding. I guess leave it in. Whatever. Yawning. So boring yawning. Boo tomato. Yeah, no Matthew McConaughey for sure. Just like Matthew McConaughey and like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Like that era. Best movie. It's a good one. I don't know what he looks like. The sexiest man ever. He's very attractive. Who's your celebrity crush, Aaron? I love asking guys because they just say the dumbest shit.

They always say Selena Gomez too. No. Probably Will Smith. Really? Wow. Actually like that doesn't surprise me. Wow that's amazing. She's beautiful. She's so hot. Yeah she's gorgeous. I just like if I had to guess your celebrity crush I would guess like some basic ass shit and Will Smith's so hot. Or I'd always say Hailey I forget her name. Hailey Bailey. Hailey Bailey. Hailey Williams. I would die to have sex with her. Is that why you have a crush on me? Of course. Wow. I should be

Oh my god What Honest to god After this podcast is over Can I go put on a karaoke song I was just about to say Should we go to a karaoke bar No but Will you just sing me a song Like I pick songs And you sing them Please Yeah

I'm so excited. I mean, I love a good opportunity to sing. Wait, I love that. That's my least favorite thing about Chris ever is that he's the most talented singer in the world. And every time I ask him, like, will you just sing a song? And the world was crazy. I love Chris. I loved Chris. In the world was insane. Whitney Houston existed. Yeah, right, right, right, right. You know what I mean. No, he's very talented. He's very, very talented. But sing. Do you have a karaoke machine? No, I'm just going to put it on YouTube. We could post made it.

your issue with Postmates it's the funniest thing I love it so much I'm the same way where I anything you can get on Postmates I will no but like earlier today there's always a way you know you can instacart a car

what yep huh yeah you pay i've just seen you postmate and it's specifically postmate that's the thing is it's you're not instacarting you're not amazoning i've seen you postmate like checkered vans because you needed them in an hour earlier today aaron goes you guys need an umbrella for out here to like stop the sun you go we can postmate it like you've been just thinking that one time i was in new york city and i'm already laughing i'm

needed a vape very badly and I was like so tired or like maybe it was like after my surgery and I wasn't supposed to be vaping but I relapsed on the vape I needed it so bad but there was this one smoke shop that was open but it was all the way in East Village I was staying in Hudson Yards oh

I called the smoke shop, asked the smoke shop for their Venmo, paid for a vape by Venmoing them, called an Uber package to the smoke shop to pick up my package. So you coded. The person gave them my vape in a brown paper bag. The Uber package takes it to my Airbnb.

And I pick it up. That's brilliant. Yeah. Sometimes there's things that are needed that are items on Postmates. So you have to take initiative. I saw somebody on TikTok who like they broke their shoes or something in a wedding and they had their Uber Eats driver like go pick them up new shoes and they were like sending photos of them inside and like chose the shoes. Yeah. Five stars. Fucking five stars and a tip, sir. Absolutely. I did that one time what you just said with the John F. Kennedy mask.

Like for Halloween Like he did it for Jeff that night So I Oh yeah Because the Halloween shop was closing And I called And they were closing And I was like I don't care Like here's the front and back of my card Put a John F. Kennedy mask in this Uber Ridiculous They did it? Yep Oh so you slide I love Uber package It's great I never do package I just do

One time I got $300 of ketamine delivered by Uber package from LA to San Diego. I'm not kidding. I was just about to tell you six stories where I have Uber package drugs. And then I was like, they put them in sunglasses case. My drug dealer at the time put it in a sunglasses case. My Uber package picks it up, drives it from Koreatown, Los Angeles. You had your Uber package driver being a drug mule.

And I feel bad. I always have that thought of like this Uber driver is going to jail for me and like doesn't know. I like I use Uber package appropriately now that I'm sober. I like I'm scared that someone from Uber is watching this. No one from Uber is watching this. I don't know, man. But Postmates, if you want to give me a brand deal, I literally use you. They're owned by Uber. Uber, I love you.

And you know she's going to have the deal next week. Next week. I want to put... Dude, I know so many people who have Postmates deals. I'm like, how did you get that? That's my dream brand deal. Yeah. Postmates.

Could you imagine? I've done a Postmates deal. Yeah, remember? Was it like 2017, 2018? Well, who was that guy, Ben Trin, that everyone was tagging? Yes. Ben Trin. The fact that I remember his first and last name because everybody was tagging him for their free Postmates, it made me so jealous. Ben Trin and Adam Goat kept shoes on my feet and food in my mouth for years of my life. Holy shit, that was an era where we would just like post for Ben Trin.

It was the best thing ever. One time we did like a Postmates deal for Valentine's Day and they gave us like a credit. I didn't even know what I wanted. I could have said a million things. What they chose for my $200 credit, they delivered me a Jonathan Adler flower vase. What am I going to do with that? And you were like, why isn't this a bottle of Tito's? No, actually, why isn't it? Literally. Real. So real. Wow.

I don't mind paying for my Postmates, but like I would prefer like that'd be so lit if I could just post it. I'm going to post it anyway. Yeah. I mean, you can always like post your like Postmates code and refer people for like the fans to sign up. But there's a limit. Yeah, but it's better than nothing. I can't believe they took away Uber Rewards.

I didn't know that was a thing. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. And I didn't pay for an Uber for like four years. And that's like, I credit that actually just so much of why I don't drive. Because I was so young being able to post, use my Uber code and we get the credit. Can you guys believe we lived in a time that Uber didn't exist? Like I think about even in college, you know, like you had to get a ride. First two years of me being in college, like Uber was like barely a thing. Like we would, I mean, we didn't have to drive anywhere anyway because it was like we're on campus. But like,

That's so crazy to me. Like that I didn't have Uber in high school. Yeah. At all. Did you watch, did you watch it for a ride down the street? Super. Yeah. Um, did you guys ever watch the Uber doc? You are not docked. You'd Uber like biopic essentially on Netflix with, um, what's his name? I don't know his name. Famous actor. Boy, he's really hot.

It was all about the story of how the company formed. Yeah, and he was allegedly terrible, right? Yeah. I mean, what a brilliant idea, though. It's one of those things where it's like, how did we not think of that? I was like, we were all like children. But I guess we did think about that. It was taxis. Yeah. It's like integrating technology and moving the industry in a different direction. Everything moves. I know, but what are we going to have in three years that we can't believe we don't have? Uber without drivers. Not kidding. No.

And that's going to be terrifying, but also comforting that it's going to be all computerized at the same time. Have both of you watched the show Nathan for you? Yes. You too. If you've never watched it, you're not funny. First of all, like that's, it's like a, no, no, no. You said yes. You've watched it. I'm saying I haven't watched it. Oh, Oh what? You're way too funny to have never watched Nathan for you. Go home now and watch it. Oh my God. It's the funny. It's the, it's the greatest show of all time. It's a funny show of all time. All he does is like fuck with people. But like,

i can't like put it actually into words like you just have to watch it you know what i need to read do you watch the pet cemetery one yes i've seen every single episode six times the fake starbucks like you're a genius wait i have just something to say really quickly i forgot to mention it on the last solo episode but i need to mention it right now what's up i was supposed to go on a date the other day and i had to cancel on him okay and i really wanted to go on the date he was like a cute guy i'd been talking to him for a

I message him. I go, I'm so sorry. I have to cancel. He messages me back and he goes, I guess I'm going to have to take Tana on a date. People do that to me too. Wow. All the time. Like if I reject a guy, he'll like make a joke. Like, okay, so I'm just going to date Brooke. It's like, what the hell do you think this is? That's not. How does, I don't have like that on my profile. Like it's not like a.

Oh, so this person you met outside of the industry. Let me show you him. Have you matched with this man? Wait, I bet we all have a lot of the same matches from Hinge. I never matched really with anybody. I have one great experience, one great relationship. Everything else has been absolutely the worst thing ever. Yeah, it's scary. I mean, I love Hinge. Love meeting a man in real life. Saying I love him because you want a deal. No, I literally so, so, so, so love it.

Are all of his prompts about dropping a baby? Yep. I've matched with him. Let me see. Show now. Fuck you, Isaac. Fuck you, Isaac. Wait, show me. I want to see. So cute, though. Really? Like a nice Jewish boy. I definitely match with him. Let me see now. Have you also matched with the same man on Hinge? This is exactly why I hate society today. We've all matched with the same Hinge man. I saw him on my standouts, but I didn't care enough.

You know who's on my stay-outs every day is Trevor. Aaron Mance is that guy. How nuts is that? Fuck you, Isaac. Episode title. Fuck Isaac. So Cynthia Wine Tour got in. Anyways. Holy fuck. Trevi?

Tana. Thank you so fucking much for coming on. Of course. I love that. I'm so much. I love you both so much. And you're always hilarious on canceled. But we haven't had a moment where you just got to shine like the star you are. Thank you. And literally wore sequins just shine extra hard. I like I went all out for you guys. I know. Why does it look like it looks like we didn't dress for the. I look like you're. No, you guys do this every week. That's a big deal. It's my debut. Oh,

It is. And I would love to have you back on a thousand times. Was this not one of your favorite episodes you ever shot? I literally, I always love being around Trevi. Yeah. Favorite human. I love you so much guys. Please actually stop listening to Canceled and go listen to Trevi's podcast. I'm sure it's better. Yeah. Actually don't stop listening to Canceled. But also listen to Six Feet Above by Trevi Maran. Absolutely. And stream all the new music that's coming out and just support my girl the way I do forever and ever.

I love you. Love you. I'm like, stay true. Stay true.