58: TANA GOT CHEATED ON AND STARTED HER VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY - Ep. 58
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Bogle Family Vineyards, Clarksburg, California. Please drink responsibly. Hello and welcome back to a special episode of the Cancelled Podcast. I forgot my little mask. I'm like, notice anything different? If you are listening to the podcast right now, you are not able to see, but Brooke and I are dressed as the Hamburglar and Ronald McDonald. Yeah, and I did not get to choose which one I was, as you can probably tell.

I felt like, well, to be honest with you. No, honestly, it's so on brand because of the whole McDonald's thing. I love McDonald's so much. I like your costume way more than mine, but I think it's because it's sluttier. Yeah, I'm like trying to like tuck like everything in. But really, if I stood up, I look like like the neighborhood whore. Yeah, and I'm I'm so into costumes that give neighborhood whore. I just why do I have a necktie on, you know, but I am loving my little cape. That is so you look so cute. The cape feels like me. I feel like the Hamburglar. I'm going to put my mask on my knee. You should see what happens if you jump.

Oh my God. That's how I die. Have you ever thought about that? Like, just like, what if you die? The BBL thing had me like really thinking about that. Like if I death by BBL, like I would resurrect just to kill myself. Yeah. You would have to. I was just talking about this literally last night because I've been riding so many lime scooters. And if I died on the line, which is really easy to do, I would have like, I would lie for you. You would know to lie for me, right? I would lie for you. 100%. I would say death by BBL.

saving someone from a shark attack. Yeah. It would have to be that. Yeah. And like, who's going to check?

Do you know what your outfit just reminded me of? What? The other day, you were cussing someone out. And they were asking me how to apologize to you. And they were suggesting things. Like, oh, what do I do? I don't want Brooke to be mad at me. Like, blah, blah, blah. Oh, no. Who is it? And they were like, should I get her a happy meal? It's a real thing that people think. How funny is that? I would have loved that. But I feel bad that I cussed anyone out. I've been really having a tough time.

I think I've been like more angry than usual. I don't know why you're going through that and I am sorry. I have been the victim a couple times, but that's okay. I know, I'm sorry. I don't know what is up. I think it's like maybe I have like a hormonal imbalance or something. I wanted to go on birth control, but I'm like, I'm already a little off. I've been thinking I have hormonal imbalance too, but like I just made it up. Like I don't know why. I'm making it up too, but...

That's okay. I don't know. Like, because I actually am so angry. Like, somebody texted me yesterday and I got, like, so hot. I had to, like, take a second, like, away from my phone. And I'm like...

why on earth are you that upset? Yeah, I don't know. But I feel you. October is like the most stressful month of the year for me. So I get like super angry during October. It's one of my favorite months. So I think part of it's like why I'm mad that it's October and it's 95 degrees outside. It is so fucking hot here. It is like so hot right now. But I love that because I'm doing all these slutty things and then the weather is like acting. It is nice for Halloween because I remember, like I feel like I'm always freezing on Halloween. But I've been buying all these like fall things, like all these different Uggs and stuff, which...

Like so many of the comments on the last episode were like, Brooke's Uggs look so fucking stupid. But I'm so excited to wear them all and I can't because it's still so hot. It is so fucking hot here. You know today Lila was like out shopping and she was at like the IMG showroom and I was like, oh my God, get me an outfit. Like I want something. She looks at me dead in the phone and she was like, I don't know.

if they have anything that you want but they have jorts. Do you want jorts? I love that. It's becoming, it's like literally day by day it's becoming worse and worse. I know, I updated a jorts vlog and a lot of people were like, wow, I didn't expect the jorts to be that jorty. They were very jorty. Those are like

Men's jorts. Jordiest jorts. Like, if you think about it, jorts just is jean shorts. Yeah. Did you see the Post Malone, like, coming to bat for jorts? Yeah, he really likes jorts. But that wouldn't make sense. No, but have you, did you see it? You sent it to me, but I think I was high. If you didn't watch it, you're such a brat. I think I did, but I just, like, when you smoke weed ever, do you have, like, does it fuck with your memory? I don't know.

I don't really smoke very much anymore. It's been messing with my memory so hard and my dreams to the point that I can't differentiate what's a dream and what's real life. And Ty was telling me this was happening to him, if that makes sense. Like the other day they were like, Paige was like, oh, did Robin come by and like drop off some stuff for you in the morning? Oh yeah, and you don't know if she actually like. And I was like, yeah, she did. Like blah, blah, blah. And then like come to find out like three hours later, it was a dream.

Oh, how was I going to get my skits on? Yeah, that's crazy because sometimes you know something's going to happen. Like that happens to me a lot when like I know I'm about to do something when I wake up. So I'll dream like waking up and doing it. Yes. And you don't actually like then you wake up and you're like, wait, what the fuck? And I've been so confused lately. I can't figure out what's a dream or what's not. I wonder what that is. And you think, has weed ever done that to you?

I don't know. I like not this hard. It's just been like weirding me out. Like, and just weird things keep happening. Like I had this whole dream that Zach Beal was throwing this party for Ricky Banks. So I texted Zach and I was like, and I texted Banks and I was like, blah, blah, blah. Like, miss you. You were in my dream. Like, and then tonight Zach is throwing a party for Banks. Oh, and I was like, like, how weird is that? That is crazy. Do you believe in psychics?

Yeah. I think you are one. I believe in psychics, but I don't know what's going on. And then I had a dream. So a year ago was Trevor Wallace, uh, gate. Oh, um, like when I went on the, yeah,

What's the machine called? Life alert? A lift. Yeah, I don't think it's called a life alert. It's definitely not. The life alert's the button. I actually have a life alert button in my nightstand. Do you? Yeah. So if like my stalker tries to come kill me, I can just like hold it down and the police come. I had a dream that Trevor and I hung out for the one year anniversary of hanging out like up that night. And then Trevor hit me up randomly.

And was like, we should just do it. Like, let's hang out. Let's watch Pawn Stars. Like all this shit. And I was like, oh my God, why am I jealous? I'm jealous because I just listened to Trevor Wallace on Giggly Squad. Yeah. I was like, I just love them. And I've never listened to a full episode. I only like watch their clips. So I finally was listening to full episodes and I started with Trevor. And afterward I was like, oh my God, I think I have to text him and ask him on a second date. He was so funny.

But I can't ask a man on a second date, so. Like, why am I wearing McDonald's costumes? I really, I just, dude, I was doing this all day yesterday on Trisha's podcast. I was dressed as a fembot and not like a cute fembot. No, I loved it. It was like a full, like fully committed moment. Yeah, fully committed. My hair was like as tall as the fucking ceiling. And I was saying all this shit about like hot people. And I was like, this is so embarrassing if someone fucking sees me. I love it so much. Her ice spice was my favorite thing I've ever seen. It was so cute too, because ice spice like,

message to her and was like you slayed like blah blah blah and like post it and trisha was so gagged and it's like trisha you are just as iconic trisha has no idea how famous she is at all it's so she's so like delusional in in that way like i just went on her podcast which is like crazy i'm so excited she was so happy but she just kept saying things like oh you guys make me feel so cool i'm like trisha you're the coolest person alive

Like, she's my idol. Dude, I had on a wig cap yesterday at Trisha's and like no makeup. Like, I looked like somebody's. Like, I looked like a toucan. Like a bird. Like, I was like bald and just the nose was really in like acne out, whatever. And she's like, you look so beautiful. I was like, I took a photo to commemorate how I look. You want to see how I looked? So much. Like...

She just loves us like delusionally. She loves us so much that it's like... It makes me want to just die right now so that I can never do anything to mess it up. This is how I looked when she told me I looked the best I've ever looked. Wait, you do look really cute there. But yeah, we both went on Trisha's podcast again. I'm really like... Like, I just want to hang out with her every fucking day. Me too, so bad. I'm almost like nervous about it though because I like...

First of all, we were talking for so long, but I also was so into the conversation that at a certain point, it came over me that like this is being filmed and it's going to go online. And I was like, oh, no. That's so funny you say that because I never really feel that way on podcasts. I'm very aware. Like I'm podcasting right now. But yesterday we podcasted for like three and a half hours. And I was like, I just kept going in and out and being like, oh, my God, this is on camera. Like cut that. Like cut that. Like I just start to like really talk shit with her. I was scared to ask her. I texted her last night and I was like, is it OK if I see?

I like see it beforehand just because like I really was like just saying everything I told like stories that I just should never ever ever like she just like creates such a comfortable environment she also told me that she would have gone to our San Diego show had we asked her and I was like there's no like I would have died for her to be a special guest on tour I think we have to make it happen for I think if we do an LA show we should like literally but it's so funny because she hates like other influencers yeah so we might I guess I would prefer well

Like I could see her driving down somewhere further to like avoid the idea of seeing anyone else. Cause like if you think, yeah, I want it to be like a crowd that like really just would be like so surprised. Yeah. Yeah. It would be fucking everything. I invited her to my Halloween party that I'm throwing on Friday and she was like, absolutely not. I love you so much, but it's past my bedtime and I'm scared of everyone else.

I love that. I can't wait to be in like the just wife and mom era. I know. We say it every episode and it's like, I can absolutely wait because I don't even have a boyfriend or any prospects. No prospects, I feel like.

I like, well, first of all, I can't wait to be in the fucking mom era like her. And Moses is just like unreal. Like yesterday I was wearing shoes that were like platform heels and they had fuzz on top. And she was like, we have to match, but I don't have these shoes. Went and got a fuzzy pair of shoes from her closet, a platform pair of shoes. And Moses was like disembodying them and like making her like new shoes. That is crazy. He made her ice spice necklace. Yes.

He made it. And her tavern. Like, imagine to your man being like, I really like filming TikToks where I pretend I'm in a tavern and then he turns an entire room in your house into a fucking tavern. Oh my God, I saw that. I didn't know what you were thinking or talking about for a second there. The one that's like Trish, like Trish like a fish in a tavern. Yes.

But just imagine a man loving you enough. Imagine a man loving you enough, period. I know. To literally like bring you a glass of water. But like let alone like doing shit like that. We gotta raise the bar a little bit. He's turning a window in her house into a real functioning drive-thru so that she can make drive-thru TikToks. I love her. I love them both. That's just so sweet. No one will ever love me that much. It's so crazy. He built their bed. He's like a, he, what is, he's an artist, right? Yeah.

I think so, yeah. Or like, I know he did underwater photography. I thought it was, I thought he was painting that. I thought they were like water paintings. And I think they were like hyper-realistic. Oh, that kind of makes sense. I might be completely making that up, but he's like so good at everything. I'm like, where did she get him? And just like loves her so much. Like she's the star. He wants nothing like from her. It's so crazy. I love, I love. And you know what? I always say this recently. No, I just, this is going to be my first time ever saying it.

So long as we are happy for people who have that, we will end up with it. Oh, I said that about Brie and Zach. I was like, I'm just so happy for her because I'm manifesting it happily. I'm trying so hard, but it's like, I'm in like the driest, I say this as I'm dressed as the Hamburglar, like maybe that's why, but I'm in like the driest dry spell of my life ever lately. And it's like, I'm trying so hard to like normalize that and be like, you don't have to be talking to anyone. You don't have to be flirting with anyone. You don't have to be excited about anyone. Like,

But it's crazy how much better it just makes life. I get that, but what's like the longest period you think you've ever gone without having anybody to talk to? Or like somebody who you're like actively involved with? Probably like four or five months. That's a pretty good amount of time, actually. But like I... Just right now, I'm so bored and I keep...

The problem, in my opinion, with that, though, is, like, if I don't have somebody to focus that kind of energy into, I'll end up focusing it into something worse. Or, like, someone who doesn't deserve it or, like... Yeah, or, like, just other things. I've had some, like, hookups recently. Wait, sorry, I'm, like, laughing at it all of a sudden cutting to, like, there being so much I don't know about. What'd you say? I'm sorry. I've had, like, a hookup or two now and again, but it's just, like...

Just not getting the job done. I just really like, I look back at my life and I look at the people who have like really just put in the work and dicked me down like presidentially. And I think that it's like I took it for granted. It doesn't just. Yeah, because it's like almost like you just get used to it. Like I would just be like, someone would be fucking me so good. And I'd be like, oh my God, their personality is like a little annoying. It's like, oh my God, literally like who cares, Tana? Do you think they exist like with both or no?

I'm not sure. I think that's also... I don't know. I know Pete Davidson is laying it down. That's where I'm at right now. I was just going to say, I was saying this on Trisha's as a fembot. Now I'm saying it as a Hamburglar too. He's literally going to get a fucking cease and desist. He better. But my crush on Pete Davidson is making me realize that like I can't settle for a guy who isn't funny. And it's like, yes, there's all these amazing fucking other qualities that people have. But like I would rather have a homeless man

Who's funny. Yeah. I guess I agree with that. I like had to put the Pete thing to rest for some reason because I just feel like we would... I mean, he's a little like mentally off and I'm like really mentally off. Like I feel like we would just be like spiral central. He could hit me with a fucking car. He could run me over. He could hit me with a car and then back up and do it again. And I would be like, baby, I'm so sorry. I get that. It's not even just him. It's his archetype. Like just all I want is like a funny...

man. Like so bad. What are your thoughts on a funny guy who doesn't look like he's dying? Like we're close. But you'd prefer for him to look like a little decrepit? Absolutely. Under eye bags on 10. You know? Yeah. I wonder what that is.

I'm sorry I don't have so much energy today October's really like draining me I honestly you've been doing so much it's like I get that I've done like four and a half fucking photo shoots this week I've had six wig install changes I know I loved your little black you took it off so fast and how'd you end up with like perfect hair already I had a hair appointment last night after my two photo shoots it's yeah the wig install was funny I liked the dark hair but people were not it's

One thing I didn't know is that like people take wigs so seriously. Like the wig community. Yeah, and they like really like, yeah. Like if your wig is clockable, like it's like borderline a scandal. Like people like really come at your neck and like comment who did its neck and like all this shit. Yeah, you're a disgrace to all wig wearers. All wig wearers. Like and I was wearing a wig and apparently the part wasn't like up to par. And like what can be wrong with a part? People were like actually, I don't like it was. I'm like I have a.

side bang right now when my with my wig it's like well but you're being like silly like i think it's like when you're like really when you're being serious people get like actually so fucking mad people were literally fighting in my comments like crazy about this wig honestly they're so big left

You know, I just, I had to take it off and run. It's okay. Pull it down a little on Facetune, hit it with a little smooth and it looks perfect. Absolutely. And that's, that's what I kept saying in my TikToks. I was like, listen, like this, this is for a photo shoot. It's for a Facetune moment. We're going to refine, we're going to smooth, we're going to patch and we're going to move on. And everyone's going to mind their business about your little part. And that's, that's how I feel. But you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't. And then I've never thrown a Halloween party and like October already as is, is like my whole normal schedule. It's crazy. With like,

another schedule on top of it of all these shoots and photographers and prop people and makeup artists and hair people. And I just, I love to serve and I say it every year. I'm like, God, this needs to be my last year doing it. Like I'm just,

I'm no but you're so good at it I feel like Halloween also you like you do so well on Instagram and stuff during Halloween because everyone loves it it is my favorite holiday but I just I find a way to suck the fucking life out of it you know what I mean yeah I don't know why I used to love it so much and now it like doesn't excite me as much and I wish I did I think I realized that I love it so much because I really do love to like play pretend

Like I love to dress up. You could do that anytime though. Like that's why Trisha's life is so fun. I know. And I think I'm just going to start making it a year round thing, but like, God, I'm just going to start copying every fucking thing Trisha does. But like, and that is totally fine. I think she'd love it. I don't know. Because playing Trisha as a cosplaying person, I wanted to do that. The Cleopatra, like her viral Cleopatra married with a donkey. I would,

I was looking at that today. Um, a Cleopatra costume. I went to Trashy Lingerie, right? Oh, the best. And Trashy Lingerie is this lingerie store and there's only one and it's on Hollywood on like Melrose or Fairfax. And it became famous years and years ago because it's the only place like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan would buy their Halloween costumes. And it's like, you have to pay for a membership to even like shop in there. Like a year round membership, which is kind of crazy because it's like an October thing. Really? Yeah. Is that new? But it's like,

No no no It's always in that way It's like five bucks Or something Like it's not super expensive But then you get in there And the costumes are insane Like they are made for them Yeah they're all handmade Like and they're just Made for a whore Like just everything It sucks you You can add as much padding To anything you want Like it's just like

That's the point. You know what I mean? Today I spent $3,000 on three costumes. That is genuinely so insane. But it is so expensive. But it's because they really are all handmade and stuff. But it's crazy because it's like one day. It's like a wedding. I know. That's Paige and I have been comparing so much of what we've been doing to like a wedding. Like we'll just be getting ready for like days for something. And then the shoot's like 30 minutes. And it's like, what the fuck is going on? But yeah, so I'm throwing a Halloween party at Hobo's. Are you excited?

Have I talked about Hovo on this podcast before? No. Well, I think you've made a TikTok about it the other day. I did make a TikTok about it. We haven't talked about it when canceled. Over the years of calling paparazzi and or being shot by paparazzi without calling them, you kind of become friends with certain ones. And I became really good friends with a paparazzi named Frank Vasquez. And he's just like the best human. And aside from him catching me out or me calling him or whatever, like...

We're just great friends. I love that you just say that, that you call them. So many people pretend they don't. Every single celebrity I know, and that's the funny thing about becoming friends with paparazzi is they tell you the shit celebrities like call them for. And it's just, you get all the fucking tea. And it's so interesting. But everyone calls them. I'm just like literally one of the only people who are honest about it. But we became friends over the years, whatever. Frank always posts the photos that he takes of me. And one day he receives this message from this guy who is like a Russian tech guy.

Love. And like real like billionaire. Yeah, we do throw that around a lot. Like there are not that many billionaires in the world. At all. I feel like in my life I've probably met like five, which is even... That's way more billionaires than most people will ever meet. Which is crazy. And this guy is so good at what he does and so like big in the tech world, you know? And he reaches out to Frank and he's like, I don't know his verbiage, but...

I want to be famous type of thing, you know? And hats off to him for his honesty. That's crazy. I feel like usually when someone has money like that, it's like you have it all. Why would you want fame if you already have the money? I've always said that. I don't understand it at all because I feel like fame... But some people really do just want to be famous. I used to be like that. But I think that people want it because they don't understand

it kind of like I mean there obviously are so many like cool perks to it but like yeah but those perks are still available for billionaires 100% all of them and it's yeah other than like people taking photos or like just lack of privacy I guess or like there's really I've never understood it but whatever he

Sends my photo to Frank and he's like I want to know her like I want like her I want to Her lifestyle type of thing, you know It's funny cuz I made a tick-tock explaining this and everyone was commenting like just say you're an escort and I was like I would just say I was 100% like he doesn't want me he doesn't want anything to do with me like we are like just friends, you know and

He's done a lot for me. Like he paid for Turks, our trip. That's such a slay. I had the best time. Hobo, I love you. And he's just the sweetest fucking guy and I love him and I want to start putting him in my content more and more. But he was like, I want you to throw a Halloween party at my house and invite everyone you know and I want it to be like a Tana party but at my house. I love that. And I've never done something like that.

And I've never thrown a Halloween party. And I think because it's my favorite holiday, like I just want it to be so good. I'm so nervous. It is like, not pressure, but like Halloween, there's potential to have like such a good party. I know like you've been to like a Jaclyn Hill Halloween party. I actually haven't, but I've heard about them. Like it's like... I only have because you passed your invite off to me one time. Yeah, I was like, I was doing something and I couldn't.

and yeah she does like food on the conveyor belts and like all the crazy shit I've heard every last detail but also like everyone just wants to be drunken in a costume I always think of Darren and Richie's Halloween parties too where they like rent out the mansions should I be working on that they're insane and like it's just I get scared for throwing parties on holidays which I'll like get into I guess because there's like so many other people also throwing parties or

Or what? No, because of the amount of people that come. Oh. Like, I get scared to throw parties on holidays because I usually invite like 300 people to my parties and I keep all these separate lists of like, if I want to have a huge party, here's my huge party list. If I want to have a kickback, here's my kickback list. If I want to have a medium-sized party, here's my medium-sized party list. And then I invite the like 300 people or so and then if...

300 people all bring one person. That's 600 people. And it just ends up like getting so crazy. But when it's a holiday, like people just get ready to go out without having anything to do and then like want to find parties. Do you know what I mean? And they, like my 4th of July parties two times, I've had like,

like they were both hell on earth like i'll never throw a fourth of july party again my first one like 2 000 people came to my house at weed lake and it was so out of control i sent the invite that day on the fourth of july i you not to 20 people and there were 2 000 people at my house like actually oh my gosh and the house was like on a hill so like the whole hill was literally blocked off like the entire i got so many tickets from the police that night at the time i had like six roommates and

And all of my best friends were sitting around the perimeter of the house stopping people from hopping the walls. How crazy is that? Like you want to go to a party so bad that you are literally scaling a mountain? Which absolutely people were literally scaling the back mountain, whatever. It was the night before you moved out, right? No, that was 4th of July. It was the night before I moved out. I was supposed to move out of that house on July 5th and I threw a party on the night of July 4th. Oh wait, that we are talking about 4th of July.

Looking back, that is something I would never, ever, ever do again. It was so... But in my head, I was like, oh, all my stuff's in boxes. This is perfect to throw a rager because no one can like be touching and stealing. And we're already going to have a cleaning crew come in the morning and clean the house top to bottom. So, but I wanted to have like a... But it was such a destructive party. Well, I wanted to have like a hundred person party and then just like something horrible happened. Like it just got sent all around and people were out. And then the next year I threw a party...

Like Lil Huddy had heard about my past Halloween party and he was like, I want you to do this at my house. And I was like, no you don't. And he was like, yes I do. Like throw a party at my house. Let's throw a 4th of July party together. And then like same shit. Like someone fucked up his bathroom. His whole living room flooded. I remember for like... And he just like...

like didn't care and it was just like me trying to figure it out with his team and like mopping and then someone pulled a gun on the security outside like trying to get in at one point like random people random on the 4th of July yeah like they said America

Oh, yeah. Nothing says America like pulling a gun. To get into a fucking house party? Like, it just... I don't know. I don't know. I'm so... It does, like... I get anxiety about holiday parties, but... I don't know. I think it's gonna be fun. I think it is. I'm trying to keep the list, like, correctly tight and, like, nothing bad happens. I literally... It's kind of scary, though, because sometimes, like, have you ever...

Throw in a party and like try to make the list exclusive and then like not enough people come. I guess that's true. That could happen. I hope that doesn't happen. I don't think that will happen. We got people on stilts.

Like I got all these like Jack Skellington dressed people on giant stilts to enter at the door. And then we hired all these real giant prosthetic black mermaids to look like black swan and be jumping and swimming. And they like do water acrobatics in the pool. Love. And I'm trying to get like people to perform. I'm really trying to like take it there and make it super. And how exciting. I'm scared, but I think it's going to be fun. Do you think you'll be able to have like have fun if you're throwing it? I.

Always have fun at parties I throw. But I've never, ever, ever in my entire 25 years of life thrown a party sober. Eager to see how you feel about that. I'm not going to lie. I haven't wanted to just like fucking drink one time until this. Like I would love to just fucking drink because it's, I think drinking helps the stress of throwing a party. For sure. And it also probably, but I think you'll really get a gauge. Like you're like, do I enjoy this or not? Because you'll be sober and you'll know like what the real case is. Because so many things I enjoy only because I'm drunk.

I've always had so much fun at my own parties, but I have always been so fucking drunk, so I don't know. I'm excited to see it and get all the content and remember it. So fun, honestly. I might take a bunch of mushrooms or something. Okay, well that's not really sober if you think about it. That's kind of scary. I should say, I always say I'm sober, but I just mean I'm not drinking. Maybe I'll pop a Molly. I have two separate guys in my life right now that I would be perfectly eligible amazing bachelors for.

who are both sober and i know that's like such a stupid reason to not talk to somebody but like it's the number one deterrent like i both of them would be like i would marry these guys if they were just not sober really and no that's so that sounds so stupid but like i've always pictured my life like imagine you have like dinner parties and you want to drink wine with your husband and stuff and like yeah it's true in my lifestyle i know that's going to cause like problems when i'm sober

I've always not liked being with a sober guy. But when I'm sober, I love being with a sober guy, if that makes sense. And there are exceptions to the rule. Like, I've had fun dating someone who's sober when I wasn't. If they're down to just, like, have fun. Like, if they can enjoy that you're drunk. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it would definitely be hard if they were, like, judgmental and stuff. I don't think either of them would be, but it just... Can I know who they are? Can you just bleep them? Yeah. ****** his brother and ******.

They're both sober. That's crazy because both of those men are such catches. I know. And like they still are. They probably are more so because they're sober. I just don't know if it like actually fits into my life the way I want it to right this second. I don't really drink that much. So it's like I don't even know if it would make like that much of a difference in my life. But I'm looking for a sober man. Like sober guys like me so much more when I'm sober.

Even Jeff. I feel like he literally just likes me more as a human being when I'm sober. You are a little bit of a, you know. Wild drunk. A little wild drunk. For sure. I miss it so much though. Like I would just do anything. Like I just, I really wish I was the type of person and I hope that, like that is my goal with sobriety. That I can kind of get there to where like once a month I can like let loose and have fun and it not like.

control my life so much because like there is something so freeing and like awesome about like just getting drunk as fuck for a night and being hungover for a day tornadoing your life a little hooking up with someone that like it's like I just missed the like fun maybe kind of raunchy decisions like my decision making skills are just so on point and it's like fuck I just want to like just say wake up in someone's bed I get that well do I get that I don't know because I

I feel like I've found like the perfect happy medium with drinking. Cause I was having such bad anxiety. Like I already have like horrible anxiety. So like drinking just makes it so much worse. And I found that it only happens. Anxiety only exists so long as I am around like other people. So now my new drinking style, not, I'm not drinking alone, but like,

I'm drinking often, but it's like at a dinner with one person or like at home drinking wine with like one person or like... That's true. My anxiety does always come from my actions. I was thinking about that today. Yeah, it's about like what you did to other... Like I feel like it's like you...

are worried about how people perceive you and stuff and that's where my anxiety mostly comes from 100 i agree with that like i was i was literally thinking about that today because i was like i've never not thrown a party and woken up with like so much anxiety like it's crazy that i'm just gonna wake up saturday and be like good morning you know what i mean i was thinking about the dizzy white wine party um today so fun and it was the dizzy parties were so fucking fun because dizzy would just get people everyone oh dizzy got you dizzy seriously like

Like, and just the shit people would do. They were always like project X crazy. So fun. But, and again, this is something I miss about drinking. Like, I just don't feel like I would do this sober, but like the dizzy party, I invited like every potential boyfriend prospect, every guy I was talking to. I think that's hilarious. It's like putting a bunch of beta fish in a tank. Hooked up with two of my exes that night. Like, just like didn't give a fuck. You know what I mean? But I remember waking up with anxiety, like gripping the walls. You know what I mean? Like I was just so stressed.

Oh, wow. What a time. And I kind of, I don't know. Do you have any of your boyfriends coming to the Halloween party? I have two prospects potentially flying in, maybe three. Oh, they're getting flewed out? Not even. It just, it happened to be that both of them with work had to be in LA, like right around there. And they were like, oh, I'll change my flight. And then one of them is Kevin.

I invited Kevin. Honestly, such a slay. And I would love if he came, but I don't know if he can. If he can, he will. Oh, I hope he does. But that'll be fun. I think that could be fun to do sober, to watch them, like, interact with you. Like, you're like, oh, no, both of them are at the sushi bar. That's so fucking scary, though. It's so... That's so fun. Maybe I'll invite all my boyfriends. No, well, no. I think you should. Are you going to invite a boy? No. No offense. Invite a boy. Well, the boys that, like, I am interested in right now are so not people who I would, like...

Put in the influencer... I guess I was gonna say. Like, it is... It's pretty... It's kind of influencer-y, but it's kind of not. Like, I did invite a lot of people who aren't in the house. The Beatles used to live in the house. It's gonna be very, like, glamorous. But then there's gonna be someone in that outfit, like, unironically. For sure. Yeah. I get what you're saying. I don't know. The guys I've been seeing lately are, like, very, like...

And by that, I mean literally one guy. Pretentious. Yeah, or just like older so they're not like... And you don't want to have to babysit them all night. I think that is one thing that I've always loved about bringing, like inviting guys to parties is seeing how they manage in social scenes. Like I love a guy that you can just like...

He can do his own thing. Like, is he at your hip all night or can he socialize with everyone else and be fun and normal and not embarrassing? Yeah, I would be too hyper aware the whole time. Like, I would be perceiving it from his perspective and it would be ruined. Oh my God, that's the worst. I hate doing that. I feel that. What are you dressing up as? Now a bunny. I didn't have a costume. I almost didn't go, Tana. I have so many bunny costumes and I was thinking it could be funny. You kind of made the joke, but then I was actually like, should we do it? I

The year of OG Mindygate, OG OG Mindygate back in the day, it was a couple days before Halloween and you, me, and Ashley Schwan were supposed to all be matching bunnies and then... I think we should do... I think it would be... Imagine what that Instagram photo would do. People would be like, what the fuck? Like, that's so funny because it's like people... It's actually like so frustrating to me lately that people like just... Well, people think we fully hate each other. And they just like...

I have said on this podcast like a thousand fucking times, like Ashley and I are so beyond good. We live together. I spend every waking moment with her. Like,

And I love her. Like, I like, I see her side. I like, I forgave her days after things happened because like, I really did like see and empathize with her. The fans are like parents though. Like, I feel like they hold onto things like so much longer. But even holding onto it, it's like, haven't you like not seen us be friends for like 10 years? Yeah. Like they forgot that part. And just us living together. And it's just so wild. Like it's, I don't even know. It was, I made a TikTok the other day. Like,

I've been doing this series where, cause Ashley cooks dinner every night and I've been doing this series like where I like try whatever she made and like all the comments are like, what? And I'm like, what do you mean? What? Like, I just, I don't know. Aw. She's back. She's never gone.

We love her. But yeah, I think the three of us matching. I think we should all three be bunnies. Because I have a black bunny and then I have two glitter bunnies. And then you guys could be glitter and I could be black. We honestly so funny. You know what I almost went as? What? Like my only like thought that I had was getting a blonde wig laid and being Tana Mongeau in Hefner video. Honestly, if I'm a bunny and you're Hefner. But if you get your wig laid, make sure you go. Make sure you go somewhere. I outsource. Yeah, make sure you go somewhere. Right. No Stassi Bell slander.

I'm not. Yeah, sorry. Hold on. I cannot believe I'm wearing this. Thoughts on Dylan Dennis and... Oh my God, he texted me. He texted me a lot of times. Dylan Dennis? Yeah, we did talk about the fight on the last episode with Josh, but he texted me this morning...

And said, can we stop fighting? Why would he say that? It's actually kind of crazy how much he is like actively pursuing you. He's so bored. Like he, well, first of all, let's see. I forget what he said to me on Instagram the other day. And like. This Dylan episode is brought to you by Prime.

This episode is brought to you by Prime. Just pretending like we're sponsored by Prime and McDonald's is so funny. He slid up on my, I posted that I was going back on Snapchat because I'm trying to be in my Snapchat bag like you are. And he said, embarrassing. I go, you lost a fight yesterday wearing fucking fringe.

And then I said, badly. And he said, that's not a fight, Bunny. That's a boxing match. In a real fight, he's dead in 220 seconds. And then he said, 20 star. Like, he fucked up. And then I didn't respond to him. And he DMs me again. No comeback. Exactly. And I said, you are so fucking bored. Please go be a father. And he said, you have no banter. Texted me the next morning, or this morning at 4 a.m. Can we please stop fighting? To me, I just have such a visceral...

at the idea of him like defending himself in your DMs. It's just like, no offense. Like how many people has he said that exact sentence? I'm more concerned about the fact that like, yes, he lost badly and in the most embarrassing way, but he was still like in like the biggest fight that has happened in a while. I'm like, there has to be girls who are actually interested in you to talk to. I've had like a couple of my friends be like, should I fuck him? And I'm like, should you what?

Be so fucking for real. And like, he's like, you have no banter. I'm like, no, I just don't want to fucking talk to you. He goes, I go, who is this? He goes, Harry Jowsey. And what'd you say? I said, Harry's next to me. Harry's just, and he left me out or he, he didn't respond. Harry being so far into dancing with the stars. I'm so happy.

Dude, I keep like... It's so weird because Harry and I have so the friendship where like I don't say... Like we say funny, clowny things about each other. You know what I mean? Even when I went and saw him on Dancing with the Stars, I was like, I'm so fucking proud of you, Harry. And he was like, you're what? Like it's like... It's not how I talk about him or talk to him. But it's like the fact that he's made it this far is so mind-blowing to me. Like... I mean, he has like a really good... He's like a charismatic personality. But like...

So many of the votes are based on your dancing ability He's not getting anywhere in his dancing Yeah, I feel like people just want to see like Hunky McHunkerson stay and fall in love with People are really shipping him and Riley I was just going to say like people love that trope She's so fucking cute That happened to Alexis Rengranted was like a dancer like her whole life So that's probably why she made it so far But I feel like she also stayed on Dancing with the Stars a lot longer Because there was a whole storyline about her like falling in love with her partner as well

Oh, really? That's a dream. I have something to talk to you about that is like so unrelated to anything that we're talking about at all. And it's just out of nowhere. But I want to know what you think about that. I'm so excited. I love when you do this and you have like a fun little topic. Did you know, you know who Stephen Hawking is? Big fan. Did you know that he cheated on his wife? He literally cannot speak or walk. And he cheated on his wife.

So does his dick work? I don't know. I didn't get the logistics, but I saw someone post a TikTok about it. No, I need the logistics. Wait, should we look into it? Because it's like, as in like he was text to chat cheating? Or as in like he... Maybe he got...

I know so many bitches in LA that would like get at and fuck Stephen Hawking. - I don't know, I think I might. - I just left my own body for a second. Like you and I are sitting here dressed up as Ronald McDonald with the Hamburglar talking about if we would or wouldn't fuck Stephen Hawking and we get paid for this shit.

And, like, not even just paid for this shit. Like, we have outsourced employees to help us with this shit. I had an important call this morning, like, literally, where someone was like, so what do you guys talk about? Like, just your crazy stories? And I'm like, no, we've been really getting deep lately. No, he got cheated on. No. Hawking fell for a nurse, Diana King. Wait. Ugh.

So yeah, he cheated, right? Recently, lately, I've just really been thinking about will I ever fall in love again? You know what I mean? Just very deep. It scares me. I feel like I haven't... I've only been in love in my life twice and it just like...

Obviously both didn't work, but it's like I'm just at the point where like I genuinely am like, am I ever going to fucking fall in love like I was again? Yeah. You know, and obviously you can't compare like a new love to an old love. You don't want to fall in love like you were again. I was just thinking about this the other day so much. Like I would rather be with the love of my life and them cheat on me than be with someone that I'm not that like happy with and then be loyal. Okay, but it doesn't have to be one of those two things.

You know what I mean? I'm just at the point where it's like, you're cynical. You're like, you're like, that's not, it doesn't have to be that way. Like just because he's the love of your life, like he's not going to cheat on you if he's the love of your life and he's the one. I guess I'm also just at the point where it's like, everyone is fucking cheaters. Like it's like, it is really fucking crazy. Cause you like, I mean, it's sad. I've heard someone say that one time. Like, it's like everyone cheats, but I like, Paige is always saying that she's like dead set on the fact that like every man like would cheat. Yeah.

She also might just be gay. I don't know. Me diagnosing Paige. But I feel like anytime I've been in a relationship, I like really don't want anybody else. But then it's like if Pete Davidson were to approach me, like I'd cheat for sure. Everyone's also in their athlete era. And like I've always like,

like sworn off athletes because just notoriously that in my opinion they are like the biggest fucking cheaters and I was asking someone this the other day they were like if I could be with like an athlete like dream man like I'd rather be with him and he cheats on me than like you know would you rather know that he was cheating or not know not know I think so too like I don't know how Catherine McBroom like functions that was a tough free Catherine do you know that one time

I threw a party for my ex-boyfriend, Brad. Have I ever told this story on the Canceled Podcast? I was there. Learning that men can like say so much to your face and then like move another way and like whatever was kind of like the beginning of my villain origin story. And I found out Brad was cheating on me because he was 5150.coachella because I tried to break up with him.

I tried to break up with him at Coachella and I was doing that thing, my little crazy eye thing where I'm like, do you need anything? What's the problem? It was awful. I definitely, whatever. Um, and then I tried to break up with him because I just wasn't like happy anymore. And then he tried to do a little sewer slide. I don't think he was like very serious about that. Like, I think it was just like a very dramatic fight got taken way too far. Um,

But he ended up getting 50 on 50. And while he was 50 on 50, I had his phone and all these girls were like Snapchatting him. That is a crazy time to go through somebody's phone, I will say. Well, to be fair, his phone was just next to me going off and it was like all these whores. Yeah. Like just like I straight up, it was like Brittany is typing.

Like, you know what I mean? And then I was like, oh, well, who's Britney? You know what I mean? And we just spent every second of every day together. So I was very much like, why are you Snapchatting all these whores? You know, like when- That's what happened to me. I got cheated on right next to me. Which is so fucking crazy. The whole time. But I found out that I threw him a birthday party and he was from-

So for his birthday party, he was like, oh, like he just like missed home and like, you know what I mean? And so I like made it snow in my house and like made it all Canada themed and like did all this stuff and come to find out that night the entire time he was like cheating on me, Snapchatting other girls. So fucking crazy how that works. Like, God. I just wish I could go back to me before the villain origin, you know? Yeah, that's what's...

I say dressed as the Hamburglar. Trish and I were just talking about this, but the fact that like you accidentally like blame everyone in the future for something that somebody else did to you. And like you just assume that every person is that horrible. And I think certain things just change the fuck out of you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're hyper aware of things that you maybe weren't before. And like, I know I'm like that. I'm so afraid of, I'm like, what are you doing on your phone? Like I'm insecure now. Yeah. Yeah.

Hopefully that goes away. I just feel like it made me become the type of person that was like, play before you get played. And it's very hard for me to change that. Oh, I get that the original origin of it all now. You know what I mean? Like, that just became like my defense mechanism. Like, all men are shit anyway, so like, why would I not? Mm-hmm. You know? Well, but to be fair, I can't think of one off the top of my head that isn't. At all. Even Stephen Hawking's cheating. Wait, I want to, what do you think about this whole Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith situation? Mm-hmm.

I get that Jada Pinkett is homeopathic, holistic. I don't know what the word is. Like she just, she lives her life

very differently than most people and she just said in an interview the same one that I think you're referencing that she's been practicing her life as a nun essentially a modern day nun like abstains from drinking doesn't watch anything that's like pg-13 doesn't have any sex doesn't like do all these things like she just I get that she lives which is how I fucking feel right now Jesus fuck can someone just rail me and give me a fucking shot of tequila anyways and I like respect that like

But I feel like everything she says and does towards that lifestyle is at the expense of Will, if that makes sense. It's just so sad to me because it's like, first of all, this whole like secret like separation that they've had. If it's been she said it's been going on for seven years. They've been separated. They're not living together. Like they've been like faking being married for seven years. Yeah. Yeah.

And like clearly they went to great lengths to keep that secret. Like clearly they didn't want anyone to know about it. So for her to all of a sudden say it to like promote a book, I'm like, he better be getting 50%. And obviously you can have so much love for someone platonically. Like, so I guess that's how you can defend the slap situation. But still, it's just so crazy. And like, it just makes me want to fuck Will Smith. I think somebody has to. I tweeted today. I feel like he should step out with Pete Davidson.

You've seen all the people speculating that like him and Margo have had sex, right? Robbie? Yeah. I would love that. Will Smith is... Will Smith is...

a very very talented very rich very smart he is a fucking catch okay and he does not need to have a wife who's smearing his name everyone says like why have enemies when you have a wife like Jada I feel bad because I actually like I have always really liked her I like Red Table Talk but like I feel bad for him this is what I was I was literally gonna show her that like look at these photos like he fucked Margot Robbie

And they shot that movie together. I think it's called Focus or something. Great fucking movie. And like, just there's so many photos of them like that and like stories and conspiracies that there was like some chemistry there, you know? I mean, if you would be like insane to not have chemistry with Margot Robbie. Yeah. Or Will Smith though. Yeah. Will Smith is so daddy. He is so daddy. But I don't know if he's, you know, he doesn't curse.

Keep your wife's name out of my fucking mouth. Oh, did he say that? I thought he said goddamn mouth. Oh, man. And I feel like that was like as far as he would go.

That's okay though, right? Should I make that my new thing? Just no swearing. Yeah. Like you're like barnacles. Wait, isn't that, we, we should have been fucking barnacle boy and, um, mermaid man and barnacle boy. I kind of feel like that's what we are to be honest. I know for some reason it's like the same fucking realm. Yeah. Something's giving me major mermaid man and barnacle boy vibes from us right now. What the fuck was that? I can't, I just, I can't.

I was thinking about this time that I dressed up for a guy and like I just went down this whole fucking like thing. It was just weird. I don't have to. What's your favorite Halloween costume you've ever worn? Can I tell you something that I did last year that I'll like never get over? What? Like so I got reminded of it yesterday because I was dressed as the fembot with the big wig and I was like wow like I bought the fembot costume last year. I really wanted to go out in it and it's like a very slutty fembot like you can see your whole ass through it and stuff like that. So like

I wore it for Trisha's podcast, but I was like, fuck, I still want to like go out in this because it's like hot, you know? And Trisha was like, take the wig, like wear the wig. And I was like, oh, I don't need the wig. Like I'll do the wig on the podcast and go full out. But if I go out in it, like I'm just going to have my normal hair. And then Ari and everyone was like, no, like commit, like do it. That is such a part of the Fembot situation. I agree. But last year.

I think it was Zach B. I don't remember. Someone had a party at Delilah, like, on actual Halloween. And it was, like, such an exclusive party. You were Pamela with the big hat? Yes. And, like, I think, like, the Jenners went. And, like, I think Justin Bieber was there at one point. Like, I was in a room of just, like, 200 people. And, like, the guest list was, like, very insanely niche. I was, like, I just, I want to give full out. I want to give c**t.

I want to like really do the damn thing. And I was Pamela Anderson with the big ass pink hat and the bright blue eyeshadow up to my eyebrows and the long beaded maxi skirt and like the whole nine. Ari didn't want to go out. So I didn't even have like a Tommy. Like I was just this like singular bitch. And I kid you not, the hat is huge. Like five times bigger than this hat on my head right now. You're probably knocking people the fuck over. And I show up and like, I just remember I walk in and Sky Bree was wearing like

cop slutty lingerie and Stassi baby was wearing like a little crop top and like little that was the night her and Jaden met and everyone there was just like slutty chill and I'm walking around with bright blue eyeshadow on and a giant you looked insane you're like making it sound like you were you were dressed as a clown you were dressed as Pamela Anderson but it's still I could feel the energy of

Like I feel like when you're like I felt like in Mean Girls when like Lindsay Lohan shows up and she has like the little teeth. Like that's how I fucking felt like in that moment. And it was like I look back on that and I can just think about my interactions with everyone at that party and I like have the ick so viscerally like I will never. I don't think you should. I love to go full out for certain things. Like I think that could have been appreciated in different environments. But like that one I should have just been like.

a chill little hot girl. You know what I mean? And it's like, why? I don't know. I say fully commit. I think it was a slay. It's just, I don't know. I was slutty Shrek at that party. You were slutty Shrek? How do you even do that? I looked nothing like Shrek, honestly. I just like, I didn't have a costume and I was like, whatever. And I didn't know I was going to go to that. Did you have the horns? Yeah, I had like a little, yeah. Oh,

Oh, that's cute. And I was in a green suit. I really, it's, and it's so funny that night too. Cause I was like, I remember I was like still peak toxic with Chris miles. And it was like, I was like, don't worry. Like I'm going to hook up with someone else. You know what I mean? And then I'm walking around with this big pink fuzzy hat on and blue eyeshadow. And it's like, someone wants the black cat in the corner. No, something about Halloween. I always end up the last two years in a row. I've ended up back with the same guy. Okay. On Halloween. Yeah.

And the first time I was a deer with full deer makeup, like really intense deer makeup and had to like go home with deer makeup on in the morning. And last year I was Julia Fox with like the full black eye and like so crazy. And he just had to like wake up to me looking like that. It is that there's nothing. I always say that even with Trevor Wallace, the bunny ears, like there's nothing like waking up in someone's bed in your Halloween costume. The Julia Fox makeup. I wish you could have seen how I have a photo. I think of me that morning.

so bad yeah it is really bad so I think my new thing is just like for actually going out just being like a proper slut so that you know I got a cop costume and I'm so excited because I've never been a cop it says officers agent stiletto or something and um I'm so excited because I'm just gonna run around and like act like the police ah triggered

I'm like, I just almost got arrested. Oh my God. I'm going to pull you over. But like, how funny is that? Like policing our friends? Like, oh, you're too drunk. So funny. You should arrest somebody. Oh my God. Do you know what I was just talking about with someone? Which is so crazy. This is like one of the things that I look back on in college. And I'm like, how did we get away with that? What? We used to have parties. Um, shackle. They were like shackles and, um,

God, I forget what they were called. But basically, the concept of the party was like you would be matched up like a sorority would be matched up with a fraternity. And then you would pick names out of a hat. And the name that you picked was whoever you had, like whoever was your date for this party. Okay?

And the concept of the party is that you are handcuffed together with a full bottle of liquor and you are not allowed to unhandcuff from each other until you finish the whole thing. And nine times out of 10, you never finished it and you just end up fucking the guy because you're handcuffed together. I'm changing my party's theme. Is that not the crazy? I'm changing my party's theme. It's really crazy if you think about like how, first of all, dangerous that is and like

Just the fact that we didn't get like kicked off campus. Panhellenic has like the most crazy rules for like what you can and cannot do. And that's technically like so hazing. Because like you're a, like you have to do it.

Have we ever talked about hazing on this podcast? I didn't get hazed. Hunter's hazing stories haunt me like to this day. Like when he tells me what he went through in college, like the boys go through a lot more. There's two that blow my mind. Like they locked them in a room and they had to like finish a handle of alcohol as well or something like that. But then they covered the whole floor in bottle caps and

And like made them crawl around on their hands and knees. And until every bottle cap was filled with blood, they could leave. Oh my God. Is that not crazy? And then another one, they brought them all out. Like, like, like made them finish a handle, like spun them around, like all that type of shit. Beat the shit out of them with bags over their heads. Drop them off in a field in the middle of nowhere. And then put a puppy in the middle of all of them. And said like, when this puppy is killed by one of you, you guys can all like die.

leave and you're like a part of the fraternity and then everyone like was out in the middle of the forest for like 20 hours or something like that and then eventually like some guy like folded and was like i'll just do it and like went to go like was like i'll do it like i'll be the one who was like gonna go kill the puppy and then the fraternity brothers come out and they were like just kidding like we just wanted to see if anyone would do it like you can't be in the fraternity to the guy who like admitted to kill the puppy good that's good mr puppy slayer but

yeah the boys get it bad that's how like you so many people die from um fraternity hazing they're so strict about it like now but they're really it's just like sororities and fraternities like i wish you could have just lived through it because it's i just was never that type of person i would have been like i don't want to be a part of this so bad i would have been so like tana con i would have been like i'm starting my own sorority across the street for sure it's crazy because like you so would have never been involved like you would have not wanted to be involved in that at all

At all. Cause I just. But it was like. I was drinking the Kool-Aid. I was so obsessed with that shit. Like. We would have like. It'd be. It was fun though. Cause like.

and made you feel like you were a part of something it was so exclusive that you just like felt like it was cool and it's like toxic like we're a family yeah and we had like like for example there was like a white trash wedding like part of one of the homecoming themes like the same thing with the shackles party was like a white trash wedding somebody from the fraternity and somebody from the sorority gets picked to be like the bride and groom and everyone shows up in like the most white trash outfits like tits out fucking gaps in their teeth and like they actually get married and it's the coolest like most fun thing i

Alex Earl did it. Yeah, I saw that. Alex was the wife. I don't know if hers was white trash themed, but... When you were talking about college parties, it reminded me of a story that I've never told on this podcast that I have to tell you. It's also Halloween themed. Love. But, um... So, my first boyfriend ever, really, like, serious boyfriend, was this guy named Summer. And I've talked about Summer, like, a million times. He was the one who blackmailed me and sued me and the worst person historically in my entire life that I've ever dated. And, um...

Us trying to break up was very much like I would try to break up with him. And like there was just a lot of emotional. I hate just throwing the word abuse around there. But like looking back, that's definitely like what it felt like, at least to me. Where it was like I would try to break up with him and then it just like wouldn't happen. He like wouldn't let me. And like I like felt like I couldn't get out of the relationship or whatever. And I always tell people that like I did. I cheated on him so much.

Because like he just wouldn't Like I would be like I don't want to break up with you I want to be with other people And he would be like No And then I was like Well what do you want me to fucking do And it was also just In the beginning of my career And I'd never like Like all these people I'd like grown up Having crushes on And just shit like that Whatever And I was finally getting Like more attractive as well So I was like Trying to just live out My single dream But he would not Let me break up with him Um

And obviously looking back now, I would literally like get a restraining order. Like I would find a way, you know, to break up with someone. When you're young, you're just like, yeah, it was just like the most toxic thing in my whole life. Right. And this was towards the end of our relationship. He was going to college at UNR Reno. And it's so crazy because it was a nine hour drive away from Vegas or an hour flight. But like we would always just make the drive like. And so me. What? Sorry. I think I know the story you're going to say.

I don't know if you do. You might. You told me it once. Did I? But I forget like what it is. I just remember vaguely. So Ashley, Isabella and I drive down to Reno. Isabella was also dating a guy who went to college in Reno at the time. So we were like, let's make this nine hour drive. And we drive down and I get there to see him. And we decide that our matching costume is going to be the Joker and Harley Quinn. And so I am like full Harley Quinn boots, like red and blue fucking pigtails, like the bat whole nine. He is the Joker. Yeah.

And we show up to this party and a lot of people that I grew up in Vegas with went to college at Reno. Like a lot of people do that because it's still in state, but they want to get out away from home, like whatever. So this guy that I'd had a crush on, like all of in high school, and he was like the hot older brother of like,

He was like the hot... It's always the older brothers. Like the rich... Something so much hotter. The rich opposing school to my school. The most popular girls in that school. It was their older brother. So he was like one of the hottest people. Just like everyone wanted him. You know what I mean? And I get there. I know this story. And I always had a crush on him. And I go out as Harley Quinn. And I got to the party, I think, before my boyfriend at the time. And...

this guy starts hitting on me and I'm like there's no way like I wish I could tell my younger self this I'm texting all my friends I'm like there's no fucking way like I wanted you so fucking bad like whatever and he's like are you single because I've been dating summer for like a year at this point and of course I'm like absolutely and he's like then why are you here why are you in Reno and I'm like I just wanted to come up for the party like a nine hour drive like I just wanted to come for the

party he's like where are you staying I'm like oh just around you know I'm fully staying at summer's house like whole night whatever um summer gets to the party and he's like so why the fuck is he dressed as the joker then like and he just knows I'm clearly fucking taken you know what I mean and I'm just like

I make up this whole elaborate lie. I'm like, he's so fucking crazy. And he was so fucking crazy. He deserved this. Like I, I would do it again, but I'm like, he's so fucking crazy. He just wanted to dress as the Joker because I was Harley Quinn, like trying to make up this whole thing. And he's like, summer keeps coming up to me like, Hey babe. And I'm like, stop like just this whole nine, whatever.

And I make it my life's mission that night to get Summer like so fucking drunk. So I'm just like making him take shots, like throwing mine away, whatever. And then I get him so drunk that I'm like, let's have an after party at your house. Like blah, blah, blah. And we go back to his house. I invite this guy and I like take him upstairs and I tuck Summer in. And then I hook up with the other guy as Harley Quinn while my Joker is upstairs on the couch in his house. That is a horrible story that I love so much.

I think that that is so inspirational. Well, listen, normally that would be horrible. Like you hear stories about somebody hooking up with like someone when they're in the different room, like the Tom Zandval situation. I'm going on his podcast this week. What? I don't know. Who is he? Bestie, I think you might want to look into it. Can you just... I don't know. I guess adultery is kind of like, eh, whatever. No, adultery is horrible and cheating is horrible. Again, but if someone's abusive and won't let you out, try to cheat your way out. You know what I mean? It worked for me. But...

unless of course it's on me just well don't be abusive well it depends on who you're asking you know like i don't think i'm abusive yeah no one thinks they're abusive that is crazy so did you ever find out i don't know well now he knows i mean he took that but that blows he blackmailed me took all my money bought a fucking mercedes like sorry i fucked someone hotter than you cry me a river cry me a river oh but britney spears says justin timberlake has a small dick is that real

Did she really say that or am I just like believing everything I see in it? I thought she said that she got pregnant with his baby and he didn't want it. She did say that. That's, I guess, probably a little bit more important. I'm really excited to read her book. There's a lot of speculation that like she didn't fucking write it and it's just another like part of the...

I think that it's possible that she might have had help, but I believe it's her story. I hope it's her story. I'm excited to read it. Dude, when I went to the Dancing with the Stars taping, it's so funny because I've been so motherfucking, and I still am. I just want to say that before I even get into this, but I'm so team Britney and fuck her family for everything that they did to her. But I sit down at the Dancing with the Stars taping and there's like

Seats like right next to mine. And all the seats have like the names of the person. And like their guest you know. So it was like Tana Mongeau guest of Lele Pons. Like someone guest of Harry Jowsey. Someone guest of whoever whatever. And I look like five seats down. And it's like Lynn Spears. Guest of Jamie Lynn Spears. And I didn't know Jamie Lynn Spears was even going to be on this season. Let alone Britney's fucking mother is just like coming. So we all sit down. And I'm like spending the whole first like 30 minutes watching Lynn Spears. I'm like you evil fucking evil cunt. Like oh my god you know. And...

I've always, you know, ever since all this shit, like I've just, I'm not a Jamie Lynn Spears stan at all, obviously. And obviously people see what they see on TV, but when you're watching the taping, you get to see how people react.

are reacting when the cameras aren't on and Jamie Lynn was the only person that before she danced she was like crying and praying and like and super praying like you could like see her like you know what I mean and I was like it was so weird to me to like see her have emotion and like clearly be like scared for something and like crying and like whatever and I was like it's so weird you're a person yeah I like I struggle with it a little bit because I I've seen it firsthand like in our lives and you know our friends and stuff where like

the internet and stuff just has it so wrong or they just like are so wrong about somebody so it's like what if like we think she's like this evil conniving bitch and she's just not yeah but like i mean the signs are there it's actually like everyone i know that's worked with jamie lynn spears tells me that she's like the best person ever yeah just kind of wild but like if she did that shit to britney she's not you know um

Who's Tom Sandoval? And should I not go on his podcast? Do you want, you don't, of course you don't watch Vanderpump Rules. I actually don't either, but like, long story short, it's like if I was fucking Chris Miles. Really? Yeah, and he would be Chris Miles in that situation. So he fucked his girl's bestie? Like for a long, long time. Were they like together? And they were all just like always together, filming together. They were all on a show together. How'd she find out?

Oh, I'm about to be so fucking like, that's the thing is I'm so the type of person where it's like, now my mindset is not like, oh, I'm afraid to go on. I'm about to walk in and be like, sup cheater. Like that's so funny. I'm going to haze him. My sailor Steve is lost at sea. My sailor Steve is lost at sea. Yeah. My little guy with the boat, he's like literally lost at sea right now. His boat just like, um,

The steering just simply stopped working. Brooke, Amber, the probability of you being on that boat is like, it's not, no. Like you very much could have been on the boat when that happened. Yeah, everyone was saying that in the group chat, but I'm like, that would have been my dream. To be lost at sea? With the sexiest man ever. Yes. That's actually so true. By my, just us two, what is there to do?

I keep thinking of that Wolf of Wall Street scene where like he's driving the boat like super fast and shit. And it's like scary. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. When they're supposed to go to her aunt's like funeral or whatever. Yeah. But like, dude, what? I just think that would be like literally lost at sea. Well, his his steering was broken for a length of time. And then I guess like he had like two engines or something. And he was alone. It like only go forward about. I don't know. Yeah, he was alone. And I'm like, baby, I would have been there.

Jonah Hill was so fucking good in that movie. And Leo. I wish Leo wasn't such a little creeper. I was just thinking that about Jonah Hill.

Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Us eating the McDonald's right now is reminding me so much of McDonald's gate. Our first tour scandal where people were so mad that we ate McDonald's at our Pittsburgh show on stage. Sorry. But someone I tweeted today and I was like, what should we talk about? And people said Britney Spears and a bunch of pop culture shit. But someone said that we should try to recall a memory or a funny story from each city of tour. And I kind of want to try. All right. Where did we start?

We started in New Haven, Connecticut. New Haven, Connecticut. Best shows ever. I mean, maybe it's because they were our first ones, but I just felt like everyone was... No, there was something so special about New Haven. It was just... It's like... It actually really is like a fun, fun, fun-ass city. And the people... The people were so drunk. I think the venue was also so dope. It was. Toad's Place is an iconic... And they honored us. That was my favorite part is they did the little like... They gave us a bottle of Dom and they said they're going to put our names on the wall forever. Forever.

Oh, for sale. Yeah. And they have all the names of people who've performed there. And it's like every single celebrity. Like Kanye West. Like Snoop Dogg. Every celebrity you could possibly think of. Like literally like old. Bob Dylan. Like just everyone. Everyone. Cardi B. Like I just, just literally everyone. I really liked New Haven. I'm trying to think. That was where. Loved it. Burger Papa. Burger Papa.

Good pizza. Honestly, it was fun. It was a vibe. We had Chris Miles and crew with us. That last night in New Haven was so crazy. I don't know if we did talk about this. So we were also with Mike Malak and he's like from right there. So he's like very much connected in the city. And I underestimated the fact that the rest of the tour wouldn't be anything like that. I think that like, I just thought that in each city we would keep going out and finding all these fun clubs and be able to be connected in so many places. And it just, the city's,

A lot of the other cities weren't giving that same energy, you know? Also, like, it wasn't a sustainable lifestyle. Like, we were, like, going out drinking after the shows when we were already so tired. Like, if we tried to do that in every city, we would die. We would absolutely die. That's why I went sober, obviously. But Mike brought us to this club, and I can't remember the name of it. Oh, yeah, and it was, like, where all the things were, like, beds. It was so...

I've never been to a club like this in my entire life except for this club. It was like a normal club, like dance floor bar, like all the patrons are just in a normal club. And then it's like lots of clubs offer back rooms and like booths and shit. But this one, like it was like the I don't know how to explain it, but the best way to describe it to me would be like the inside of a McDonald's play place.

Like just padded floor, but like a little cubby. Like this whole room was just bed. Yeah. With like tables coming out of the bed. So everyone was just like hooking up. Yeah, it was like an orgy, like an orgy person. And we started off our tour with that. Like an orgy room, which is kind of fucking crazy. And then I'm trying to think. Then we went to Harrisburg. Harrisburg. I fell out of the tour bus. That was beautiful. I...

Really underestimated how badly my hand would scar. Is it bad? Oh, it doesn't look that bad right now. But look at like the hole. Yeah. And it's like when I spray tan, it turns like dark black. Like right in there because it's like a hole and it like collects all the spray tan. And like all week I was like, this is so embarrassing. And my bone is still wonky. Like I think I did do something. Could have been worse. Could have been like your teeth or something. That's true. I really did catch myself pretty well. Then we went to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh.

Then we went to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh was a little shaky. That was the city that brewed all the scandals. But I'm happy that they happened because I think it made our tour so much fucking better. Yeah, we got like a low key a little canceled for that. That was the only city where they like didn't want us to be drunk. I haven't experienced that anywhere else. Well, I think I just I think we I mean, I definitely crossed the line a little bit. I was like, I couldn't speak.

Sorry. Yeah, but it's like the crowd was egging it on. Like at one point the crowd was chanting like take a shot, take a shot, take a shot. And it was like that Jake Paul juice or whatever and everyone's like drink it. So then he drank it and I did black out and I did lose speaking abilities. I think we gave it just like doing the podcast drunk. You know, like it...

A lot of people enjoyed it, but certain people did not. I get it though. Sometimes like, I mean, as much as it's like fun and stuff to see like your people drink, it's also like if I paid money to go somewhere, I don't know if I would want to see someone that blacked out as, as blacked out as I was.

So I apologize. But like when I think about you on stage, like you were still talking and telling stories. Yeah, but I saw some videos and I was like, hmm. I guess that's true. I tried to block it out, but biggest crowd we had. So I just agree. That is what like haunts me about Pittsburgh. It's the worst part because like we have those photos and videos and it's the biggest crowd like ever. And I have to think every time I see that, that that many people got our worst show. Yeah. And like...

I've talked to so many people who tour and they're like, you can't be... Like, not every show is going to be your best show. And you've got to, like, understand that. And not every crowd is going to be... Yeah, there's also something to be said. Sorry, I just cut you off so bad. But...

when there's that many people, sometimes it can feel less personal too. So it's like, it's harder to like, I don't know. It is. It's so interesting. I was talking to Trevor about this. Like I am really trying to work on not allowing the energy of the crowd to affect my like mental health. I never understood that until we started touring. I had no, when people would say that, I'd be like, what do you mean? It was a bad crowd. So,

Certain crowds, even especially in stoner cities where everyone's like high versus like a drunk city where everyone's drunk versus like a sober city where everyone's like, no, like we, I don't know where we were. I think San Diego, we did three shows there and like, it was so crazy. The differences in the crowds, like one crowd, everyone was so high and quiet. It was like,

And then it's crazy because afterwards everyone's like, that was the best show ever. Like you guys did so good. I was getting tweets. I'm like, are you sure you thought you hated it? I don't think they cheered one fucking time. And then the next crowd was like blackout drunk, screaming their heads off, like throwing shit on the stage, like fucking nuts. And it's like the difference, like after the high crowd, I was like, Oh my God. Like I felt like them, like all quiet. I have a hard time. Like, I don't, I don't know if you feel this way too, but like it immediately sets the tone. Like right in the beginning, like when I make a couple of jokes and they don't laugh, I'm

I like immediately shut down and then it's like the show's gonna suck from now on because I just feel like you hate me. But then we could do that same show and people will be like cackling at the joke so then you go to do it again. Yeah, I'll make the same jokes to two different crowds and one crowd will like literally roar with laughter and one of them will just literally like trick it. And then it's like is the joke fucking funny or not?

Yeah, I don't know. Like, how do you even know? Maybe it's the, like, inflection or, like, delivery or something. And it's like, I just want, I wonder if people like Theo Vaughn or, like, whoever who do, like, a million shows, like, do they care? Yes. Yes. Matt Rife used to always say, like, um, like, it's, he would always say, like, that tonight was such a fucking shitty crowd. Or, like, they just, they didn't laugh. That's, yeah, Trevor Wallace was telling me that the other day. He was like, yeah, it doesn't really, like, that's just, that's never gonna change. And I was like, damn, like, I wanna get it unlocked to where I, like, feel the same.

Like I don't want to absorb the crowd's energy. Yeah. Because it's scary. I think at a certain point probably like I'm sure it does not bother like Trevor or Matt or like people who have been doing it for a long time. Bother is the wrong word. Like I don't come off the stage bothered by it. I come off the stage feeling whatever they were feeling. Yeah. Like absorb it. Like yeah.

I got some Megan Fox shit. This is like the first and last time I will ever wear a fucking red wig. Honestly, Brooke, I sincerely feel like you look so with red hair. I'm going to borrow that wig for when I'm sexy again. I kind of want to be sexy red. It's so funny because when I think red hair, I can think of like every bitch I've ever known with red hair and they all have like the same personality.

I don't like red. I don't like like Kendall Jenner, like a like a ginger vibe. I mean, like they dyed their hair red, whether it's dark red or that red. Like I saw someone do a bit the other day. I saw someone do a bit the other day that was like, I love when I see someone with turquoise hair because I just immediately know I fucking hate them. And it's so true. Like, no, no, it's not true. But like you can really tell a lot about a person by the color of their hair. Like red hair. I was so red hair coated in high school.

Like my personality, like growing up. I'm surprised you never did hit like a red hair moment. You know, especially when my hair was brown. Like in that era, I was so red hair coated. You have like a red hair voice. You have like a voice that would have this hair. I have a red hair voice. I don't know how to explain that. It's like the rasp, like kind of like Emma Stone. Yeah, but she's like a soft red hair. Like I'm thinking like that bitch from like... I can't say that. Yeah.

It's so funny you just said fuck me fire truck red. When I was like dating Bella Thorne like she would just have all these business ventures and one of them was a makeup line and she like insisted on naming the products herself and like one of the lipsticks was fuck me fire truck red. And Amari just like you took that one home. And it's just so funny because you know. Imagine somebody like swatching it on YouTube and being like in the shade fuck me fire truck red. No and again you know how she is. Like just imagine her like that's genius Bella. Yeah.

My baby, I love you. I support all your endeavors. You're a genius. That is so funny. Absolutely, every time. I really... That is, like, my problem. Yeah. But it's like, at the time, I really... I was like, she is a visionary. Teach me a lot. She did teach me a lot. She is very smart, honestly. But then shit like that is, like, kind of crazy. Uh-huh. It's just like the... It's just like...

There's just so many other instances that I could like... Tell me. Just like the normalizing, like, or just like thinking, like, just like the craziest shit is just like, okay. Like, honestly, I don't know if I want to say it, but like how she would just like brush her teeth with coconut oil in a rag. We talked about that like an episode ago. We did talk about that. She invented oil pulling. Can you believe it? It's crazy what you'll put up with when you just like are in awe of someone. Shampooing her hair with beer every three days.

I'm surprised you weren't. I know. She's like, it gets you drunk faster. No, in that case, pour it over my head. Have you ever done the tampon drunk thing? No, but one of our best friends has.

And it worked. One of our best friends was like really going through something and they would put tamp, like fill the tampon with vodka and put it up there. If you think about it, that's not drinking. Well, a lot of people, it was like a fad in LA when I first got here. I actually remember that when I first moved to LA, that was one of the first things where I was like, Oh, so this is what this city is like is all these girls were like,

through an eating type of thing. And they were like, I can't have the calories of alcohol, so I'm going to fill a tampon with it and put it up my ass. And it was like kind of common for like my first. Why does that have to be your ass? Does it?

Well, imagine being your puss. I think you do that. Ew, like your pH. Your asshole would burn too. Yeah, I think anywhere would burn. Your throat burns when you drink alcohol. But like think about bleaching your asshole. Like it could take more. How's it going for you, by the way? I actually like stopped doing it for a while. And I was, last night, I swear to God, the last thought I had before I went to sleep was like, I need to get back on routinely bleaching my asshole. So do you like bend over in the mirror, spread them and like...

I could do it with my eyes closed in the dark. Wait, so what does it do to your asshole? Well, I found this product. It's on my Amazon storefront. Seriously, it's amazing. It's like, you know Juergen's Natural Glow? Yeah. Like how every time you put it on, you gradually get more tan? Mm-hmm.

It's like Juergens natural glow for asshole bleach. Like every time you put it on your asshole gets a little lighter. What is it called? What is the product itself called? Like, is it like something funny? Like something, but it sounds like a brand deal that Natalie would give me. And it sounds like you wouldn't do it. And I would be begging for it. The amount of colon cleanse brand deals she's sent me in the past. No way. You know, what's funny is I texted her the other day and I was like, if Brooke's not going to do the colonic brand deal, I will. Okay.

And you know Natalie, she was like, you're a star T. The other day she brought me like some butt plug for gays type of thingy. She'll do it. Yes, I will. No, she's been reaching out to the gays too. I know she reached out to Ty or whatever. And then apparently I don't have a... Well, first actually, she goes, how much would it take for you to promote this on Instagram or TikTok? You're like, I'll do it for free. I was like...

It was like, how much are they offering? She was like, as much as it would take. Wait, I'm texting her right now. I mean, well, they want a bigger male audience. I guess I don't have a big enough male audience for that. Guys, if you're out there and you don't follow me, follow me. So I can promote this butt plug to keep the lights on. What is like the footiest thing you've ever promoted? Or like footiest brand deal you've ever done? You first. I need to think. You've got a lot under your belt.

Um, do you remember your first brand deal? Me undies. Oh, this is actually like, that's not bad. No, it was all downhill from there. Wait, you know, that's what all the billboards are that Savannah's on. Yeah. Are all me undies. And she's on every billboard in town. I'm like, what the fuck? They didn't tell her either. Wow. Imagine being surprised one day and you're just on a billboard. She was. And it was like on sunset on PCH. Like, thank you. Um, I feel like my first brand deal ever. I literally think it was like smile sciences. What was mine? Um,

I don't know. But I was also the type of person, like, when I had, like, no... I'd have, like, 10K and I was, like, emailing every brand. Like, I had, like, a template. Like... Aw. Uh-huh. I just remember I had so many brands that would, like, sign on to work with me. And, like, a lot of the deals that I was doing at this time in, like, 2019 would be, like... You know when you sign a contract and it's, like, okay, we want her to do three YouTube videos? You know what I mean? I'll never forget with BetterHelp the, like...

I need a BetterHelp deal, seriously. Right. No, BetterHelp is amazing. Like, you know, we prefer Cerebral over here, but I'm just saying. I remember I did my... I prefer whichever one's going to give me a sponsorship. That's Cerebral. Oh, honestly, I have a funny one. But BetterHelp dropped me. They were like, she doesn't have to do the rest of them. Like, they just... My brand didn't align with this. Well, what they should have done is given you more coupons so that you could get help with your ADHD and then they'd get their videos done. Yeah, honestly.

You know what's funny is one time she was doing a Tender Greens deal and they needed the video so badly that Jordan was like, honestly, Amari, will you film it? And we'll just put it on her story. And he's like, I'll give you some money. And I literally did a handstand with a Tender Greens bag. That's so sad when I think back to that time. I was just so heavily on Xanax and depressed. And it was like...

Instead of like, why can't she do something as simple as a Tender Greens brand deal? The narrative was like, oh, we'll just have Amari do it on her story. That's some fucking conservatorship shit. I mean, all they really wanted was your viewership. So I guess they got what they paid for. Absolutely. I'm more so just like, did anyone check on me? I feel like you wouldn't have remembered if they had. At all. Yeah.

at all we did i yeah we for sure were one time i promoted honestly i like the brand anchor you know what that is like the chargers and like the electronics brand or whatever but i promoted these like glasses that like are bluetooth they play music like in your ears they don't go in your ears but i was like it was just the funniest shit ever and like their charger like i was like yeah i feel like i used to just do whatever wanted to like pay me and now i like have more the freedom to be like no oh sorry i

off I like I also used to just be so excited that a brand wanted to work with me that I'd be excited and now it's like I have me too but I was telling you this today I like I really am careful because I notice when someone sells something or like post about something that I know they don't fucking use and I will never trust that person again I

I remember that when I first started the podcast, I like read my ads, you know the voice I use, you know? And I realized that from now on, if I'm ever doing a brand deal that I feel disingenuine filming, I can just use that voice and people will know. And everyone will know. But the brand won't know. That's honestly genius. Do you remember, Amari, that time we were stranded in New York City? Oh my God! Oh my God!

Oh my God. Okay. I take it back. I take it back. This is, this is the one. We were stranded in New York City. Like no flights out. It was like during fashion week or something. And I had to stay there for work and every hotel was sold the fuck out. And it got real desperate. I'm talking like we're on the side of the road with our suitcases. Like, what do we do? Oh,

And we had Natalie just start reaching out to all the sketchy people she knew in New York City to give us a place to stay in exchange for like, what can they promote? What can they do for your business? Like whatever. And we were so stranded. I can't even, I'll never forget like a bike, like, like we were sitting on the side of the road with all of our luggage and someone was biking and then someone hit the biker with their car. Yep. And we were like stranded. And Natalie, right after this happened, right after we made sure the biker was okay. Okay.

Just think about that. Like we were rock bottom. Like, yeah. Natalie found these people who let us stay in their house in exchange for promoting their company. And their company was a jewel charger that you would use your phone's battery to charge the jewel. So it like fucked up your phone. Like it like. All this too. Wait, in my head I'm like that is a brilliant invention. Yeah, we thought so. Yeah, but then also like just all that. But your phone's like.

for a place to stay yeah that's crazy like you really couldn't have just booked a hotel they stayed there with us oh that's scary like you guys were doing like a house like a um exchange program where you know and it wasn't like it was an empty house it was like it was like their bed like their clothes were in the closets like it was like it was like to have a sleepover

Wow. I think it's really funny today that you guys are dressed as McDonald's or the Hamburglar and Ronald McDonald. Yeah. How can you not tell? Well, because you have a fucking red wig on. Ronald McDonald is a redhead. Well, I don't know if this is Renee McDonald. Yeah, I am Renee. I'm like Renee Rap-

Back in high school, Tana took it upon herself. Actually, this might have been out of high school, which makes this even worse. You fucking immature psycho bitch. What did I do? She took the time to turn my Twitter into a McRib. My entire Twitter into a McRib.

That is so funny. And like sitting in the room with me, like I'm panicking, like sweating, like my account's turning into a McRib. Like the bio's like, yo, it's McRib. Like just like all this shit, McRib tweets going up. And me tweeting like, I'm back.

And I'd switch it back and then it gets switched back to a McRib. And at this time, like I didn't. Wait, did you not know she was doing it? That was the funniest thing I've ever heard. I didn't even, I wasn't even like an influencer yet. I used to have so much fun hacking Amari growing up. I did it three times successfully. Wait, I have the best hacking story. I've told it on TikTok. I know I've never told it on canceled before. Tell me. The guy I like was obsessed with in college or in high school, his password to everything was his name. Oh,

Okay? Just his name. So he deserved it. His name and like the year he was born. Okay? So I knew that about his computers because we used to like date or whatever. Okay.

And then we went into college and he, we used to have like group me's like group me, like the app, it's like WhatsApp and you would have group chats of your entire sorority or your entire fraternity. So one time I was like, Oh, let me see if I can get into this fraternities group me on with his email and that password because it was like, duh, like that's what his password is for everything. Got in. I'm not kidding. We like, we would sit like 10 of us.

Around the computer just reading their group me all day long. We knew every single thing that they said about us It was horrible like we would like they would after a night out They'd be like jesus christ like this fucking stupid bitch wouldn't leave all night or like they would just talk so much shit about all of us and we'd see it but then One day a photo gets sent from somebody's Puppy cam, okay? No

And I will never forget it because a friend of mine, like one of my best friends at the time, her and I had like, we both hooked up with the same guy, like different at different times. Yeah. It was very much like somebody that we were not interested in. He was just like so hot and everyone was like, God, you have to do it. Yeah. Both of us had hooked up with him like probably a dozen times. Okay. A photo gets sent of someone sucking his dick and both of us looked at each other and we didn't know which of us it was, but we knew it was one of us. Yeah.

What did you do? And we couldn't say anything because we didn't want them to log us out. So we literally couldn't ever say anything. And I didn't realize until way later like how actually horrible that was. At the time we were like, oh my God, that's crazy. But like that is not okay. And like how do you even figure it out? Like you're looking at the back of your head. It ended up being her, but just the fact that we were both sitting together and we were like, like no fucking way.

That's insane. How long were you logged in for? Oh, the entire year. I have so many friends. And they never, ever, ever found out until I made a TikTok about it like five years later. No way. That's incredible. That's actually impressive as fuck and honestly iconic. Well, we knew everything. We always knew like if a guy didn't like you, you knew because he sent it in the group chat and then you could just get ahead of it.

Like, it's actually, but it was, it was definitely self-harm. It was like literally the OG Reddit, but, but it was like so addicting and we'd have so much fun, like 10 of us at our little sorority table. So many people I know use their puppy cams as like...

That is so not okay. Like somebody said that to me. Yeah, no, I would never, ever, ever, ever do that. I have some friends who will tell people, you know, like, hey, my puppy cam's on. So if we fuck in this room, like whatever. But I've seen so many puppy cam sex tapes. Mine won't record people. It only records the cat. Like if it's like you can set it to where it doesn't record because otherwise it would be recording all the time when you're just like in your house. Mine only records when I'm not home.

No, yeah. That's actually so true. How many people use their pet cams and stuff? And it's just like... Just so insane. Like, we didn't know when it was. I get when I don't have a dog. A guy comes over. I'm like, it's my puppy cam. It's like... He thinks you're schizophrenic. I guess it could be cool if you didn't... If they were in on it and you wanted to just not have to set up your phone. Dude, I had a day the other day where I rewatched a lot of my sex tapes. And I want to make...

A compilation. Like, a highlight. Jesus Christ. A compilation? I want to know what was being sold today. Like, so badly. What is that? Lila does this thing where she'll go to all of her friends' spicy websites, like, messages and captions that get sent out, and, like, just screenshot them. Or sometimes, she's bold. She'll just buy them sometimes. Like, I know she's bought ties before. Yeah. And it's just so funny because it's just like, damn. And today she sends a screenshot of...

Just something so out of pocket that came from Tana. Well, I just want to clarify very quickly. I do make a lot of my captions on these websites. However, sometimes I do just let my team get spunky with it because they like know. Like they know what people are going to like buy. For sure. And what's going to, you know, get me to that six figure, seven figure month. And I do a lot of...

stuff on there fuck brooke do you want to hear this it's a 47 minute video first of all and it goes i just filmed porn can you believe we fucked 11 times 11.5 inches of british horse cock destroying us both cream pied and filmed it this shit is fucking crazy i can't believe i'm exposing myself like this 47 minutes

What is it? Do I buy it? Literally buy it. Buy it. Oh, and like what gets me is 11.5 inches of British horse cock destroying us both. Who goes there? That's not getting funky with it, sister. It's just like us kicking it with Harry Jowsey. I miss him.

How do you feel about him on Dancing with the Stars? Have you watched? I watched the first episode. I think it's great that he's on Dancing with the Stars. I'm back in my Harry Doss era. I'm waiting for him in my lobby. I'm just kidding. I have had a crush on this comedian for like a while now. Which one? Oh, I told Trisha I'm in love with Theo Vaughn and we like talked about it unfortunately for like way too long.

That's the thing. You cannot like, we'll graze over shit here. Like there, she like, she wants to unpack. Yeah, I know. God, I love her. No, it's actually so funny too. Cause yesterday we were there for like six hours and get this. I don't like inconveniencing people, especially like while they're podcasting. So like wake up at like 10, whatever. And then we go over there, get there at like one 30. We're there for six hours.

Six hours, which is fine. I love being at Trisha's house. I have an amazing time there, but they're podcasting for three and a half, so we're sitting in this room, and it's getting hot. We're in silence. I felt like I was taking the SAT. And as soon as we get to the glam room, before they even start, my phone dies.

I was just like no I was just sitting there all day I was wondering I was like are we like I thought we were like so interesting no you guys were interesting though actually but I was just sitting there with a dead phone the entire time and then we get outside as they were leaving and she's like will you film something like horizontal on your phone and I was like Tana my phone's been dead since we got here everyone was like what what okay wait I need to actually explain this to you really quickly wait okay soon stand-up comedian I've had a big crush on him um

We went and saw him at the show with the heckler. Yes. And he has a wife. He does a whole stand up bit about his wife. Wait, what?

not the heckler like the stand-up comedian i didn't like i thought he was cute and then i found out your wife and then i was like oh whatever okay um and whenever i post like my hair different colors like people just come out of the woodworks i feel like like some guys are just not into blonde so if i post that's what happened to me when i dyed my hair all of a sudden like literally the polar opposite guys were interested in me and it's so hurtful too because like sometimes it'll be like my crushes being like you've never looked better like and then i'm like the heckler

the heckler did say that and she debated literally like rose out of bed and she was like maria i'm going to the hair shop tomorrow like we're going to get boxed die if we have to but this this comedian just slid in my dm saying on your brunette shit and then like how are you and like all this shit and i'm like don't you have a wife maybe he oh my god ice spice just asked where the party is oh my god like what oh my god we should you should borrow trisha's outfit and go as ice spice i thought that was a scandal but i guess it's not

No, as long as you don't actually like physically change the color of your skin. Is it a scandal because she's black? Yeah, it would be if she was like black facing. We've been filming for two hours. Some of this has got to be usable. Oh, damn. Fucking Hamburglar, Ronald McDonald. Amari's here. I love you, Amari. Thank you for coming in and doing your service. We have to go to a white box event right now. I can't wait to change. I'm not kidding. I want this cape off.