57: Surprising Brooke with Josh Peck - Ep. 57
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Hello and welcome back to the Cancelled Podcast. Right now we are on the sun. We are not supposed to shoot at this time, so if you are watching visually, just imagine you're on the sun with us. Yeah, and imagine I don't have my shoes on the couch. People really get mad about that in the comments. I know, do you mind? I don't mind at all. Perfect, it's her couch.

I have my shoes on the couch right now, my Peppa slippers. Tara's World came here the other day and like, she's just talking to Ty and they're just chilling. And then she turns to me dead ass randomly and goes, the couch is ugly. And I was like, I really love my couch and everyone hates it. No, no one hates it. People...

Everyone hates it. No, that's not true. We get so many comments that are like, where's that couch from? It's from Z Gallery. It's the only furniture item I've had for like my whole life. I love it. You keep buying new ones, more pieces, more pieces. You could fill the entire room with how many pieces of this couch she has. She has another one downstairs. I didn't need two, like realistically, but at my last house, the living room was so big. I wanted to have one big couch, but now I just have like too much couch.

So we podcast on the other couch. Well, I like it. I think it's tasteful. I think it's timeless. I think it's black. So it can't be easily destroyed by you or friends. No, that's why I love it. It's literally indestruct-a-couch. I have ash to backwood, like into this leather, like trying. That is exactly right. And I've done every unspeakable possible thing you could think of on this couch and it's still intact. Your couch is not ugly and she has a parrot in her house. So that's way more ugly than a bad couch. Yeah.

But I love her parrot. She was telling me that she was trying to bring the parrot to like a LA club and they wouldn't let her in and she had to go home and take the bar lease. You think? She was trying to bring the parrot to bar lease. I actually really love her. She just bought a house. She just bought the nice. And not just like, yeah. It's in Beverly Hills. It's so nice. I know.

You know what's crazy though? She went house hunting. Although I know everything about her life. I keep up with everything she does online. But she went house hunting and toured one house and then just bought it. I don't know if that's good or bad. But sometimes it's like people who marry their high school sweetheart. Yeah.

It's like you only tried one thing. I could never. Even when I was trying to buy a house, it was like so stressful to me. I was like, I have to see every possible available option in every part of this city to like know I'm getting the most for my money. Wow, that's crazy. But just the ability to do that. I guess you can just sell it. Yeah. I bet you she bought it in cash. No, I don't think she did. I was grilling her. She has to. The interest rates are so high.

I think she's slaying with the... Oh, yeah. You know? I don't know. Who do I... Yeah. You know what? Good for you. I mean, I really wish she didn't on my couch, but we're cool. Oh, my God.

I love her. We just got back from San Diego. We just finished our little tour. I cannot believe the canceled podcast. First leg of the canceled podcast tour is done. I can. I feel like it was a really long time. It was a really, really long time. And so many shows. Lila posted yesterday. She was like, I came to 12 shows. I was like, how many fucking shows were there if you came to 12? Yeah, I think we did 16. Yeah, 16. It feels like we did a lot. Like, it was...

It's so funny because when I was like younger touring, I would like get off stage. I'm like, give me another show. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. And now I like feel it. It's because we're in our mid-20s. We're like pretty much decrepit. That's what Kylie and Kendall were saying on the Kardashians. We might be dying. Yeah, it definitely takes all of my energy, but...

I am like so proud of us. I'm so proud of you. Stop. I'm like, thank you so much for bringing me. It was the best time in the world. I sent you like a nice little text the other day and I was like, Brooke is going to be like, this is so weird. No, I loved it. But I read it at night and I was like, I thought I literally thought I dreamt it. I'm like, there's no way she would say that to me. I am so ridiculously proud of you. And it's crazy because obviously our plan always with these shows was to kind of feel out if we could keep touring and...

We kind of came to the consensus that we can, and next year we want to do like a world tour. But Seth, my manager, came to our last show in Brea, and I was like, Seth, it's the last show. And he was like, well, how do you feel about some winter shows? And I was like, oh, yeah. Winter. What if we just made this huge stink about how tours over and then we stink? I love stink.

a show like next week i dude i don't know where i'm getting all this like like dad jargon go yeah i can't stop like i'm always like ready spaghetti or like what's the deal yo like i don't know where i'm getting ready spaghetti like that'd be so embarrassing if we just had another show next month and i just like posted that whole novel today about how i can't believe we're finished when he said a winter i was like winter like december and he was like winter like december

So we might be just like right back out on the road, which is kind of crazy. Honestly, so fun though. I love it. It's really so fun. And it just creates like the best stories. Can you please tell the August River story? Oh, I love it.

It's my favorite story absolutely ever. So every time we go to any city, I feel like Tana has some brilliant, like, entertaining story about, like, something that happened to her on the way there. Like, the airport caught on fire. Like, someone beat her up in the terminal. Like, it's always Tana. And we start every show on tour kind of with the, like...

Trials and tribulations that you know it took us to get to that city or that show or just something that happened or weird stalkers or we had to call 911 in Pittsburgh on people like following us. It's always something. We have fans who will show up sometimes to our hotel like trying to smoke with us and hang out and stuff and that's crazy as is but with my stalker as well we check into every hotel under a fake name, under an alias name and...

For this run of tour it has been August River Notice how August River is not a fucking real name Nobody's name is August River And we call the hotels in advance and always double triple check that they understand what's going on Like hey this party of 10 people is going to check in under the name August River Yeah but also like have you ever seen a movie you know what I mean like that's such a common thing to do I feel like people always use fake names at hotel check-in like it's common okay I thought

So I show up to San Diego in the middle of the night, by the way, already in like a really questionable mood. Yeah, you were having a day that day. I was having such a day. I was so mean to everyone that day. Honestly, I'm so sorry if you encountered me at all. I had the hardest time getting like to the lobby of the hotel because I like got lost and had to like push my suitcase up the freeway. I would come in swinging already. I was just pissed.

The suitcase up the freeway is crazy. Oh my God, in the dark. And I was like... And this hotel really was on like the side of the freeway. Yeah, I went around the back and I didn't realize how close the lobby was. Like I had to guess which way I went, like was supposed to go around the hotel and I went the exact wrong way. Anyway, I was like so excited to finally just like get in my bed. It's the middle of the night. Okay. Okay.

So I walk up to that little check-in desk and I'm like, hi, like I'm being all nice. I'm like checking in, like the name is August River. And I go, but obviously like, that's not my name. I go, it's a fake name. She's like, we're on tour. And he like literally just stares at me and he's like, okay. So like, are you August River? I'm like, no, it's a fake name. Like my name's Brooke, but like it's under August River.

And we called in advance as well I just want to say this Like everyone We got the green light On Mrs. River And he goes Okay well I'm going to have to see August River's ID Like I'm going to need August River to show his ID I don't think we're going to be able To make that happen August River is not a real person So I can't do that I go is there another name Like that I can use There has to be another name on it Like someone had to put their card down And it's not August River At all Okay He goes nope No other names None I'm like

okay, well, what do I do? Because I need to get in my bed and August River is not coming. Yeah. Goes and gets his manager, comes back and they're like looking at it, looking at me, looking at it and they're like, okay, well, like being all sly, they're like, what's the group name? Not the pop quiz. I'm like, we don't have a fucking group name. I'm like, the canceled podcast. They're like, wrong group.

I'm like, what the fuck do you mean wrong? We go back and forth for so long. I swear to God, they kept saying, we don't want August to have a fraudulent charge on his card. I'm like, August doesn't fucking have a card. I'm sorry. And I'm being nice, by the way. I'm still being nice because you know what? I want people to take these kind of precautions. I don't want just anyone to be able to get into our room. Yeah. Okay. But like the way they're accusing me, basically the manager at one point says, I'm sorry.

to the original check-in guy, is she the one pretending to be August? And he goes, yeah. I'm not pretending to be August. No, no, no, no. That's when I start swinging. I really start losing my patience and I'm like, okay, I'm calling Brittany. I'm calling everybody. Everyone on your team. Everyone who's coming. And I'm trying to figure out who else's name could possibly be on this. And I'm just saying, can we please, is there any way to change the name on the reservation to mine so that I can check in? And he goes, yes.

can call. Oh no. And change the name and I absolutely lost my mind. Can you tell them what you said in the lobby? No, I don't. I feel like people are going to think I'm mean to service people but you have to understand this was going on for... That's not mean. You told them a million fucking times. I said I'm going to fucking blow my brains out right here in the lobby. And they called security on me which was so, I mean, honestly valid based on what I had just said but like

There is no August River It is the middle of the night And do I look like Somebody who's just Trying to scam August Out of money Like no No Like you're not Lila Gibney They call security on me Security comes He's like a Justin Bieber Looking guy With a fucking Literal game boy In his hand I'm like What the fuck Is security gonna do And I'm sitting In the corner pouting I'm like waiting For August to come And I'm like Tag yourself I'm August

And they just kept saying, like, every single thing they said, I'm like, there's just no way. They said, how far is August behind you? Like, how long is August going to be? And you just kept telling them, like, August doesn't exist. I recorded the whole thing, by the way. I vlogged it all because I was like, there's no way anyone's even going to believe that this is happening. And literally, they just kept saying, like, where... So, where is August? And then August showed up. Tag yourself, I'm August. Yeah. I came in with the crazy eyes on lock. I, like, I...

I get so high off of the...

idea or ability to be able to like unleash my crazy yeah like I love when it's like valid like you know what I mean like I can unleash my fucking like justified like you you can be crazy and it's not that crazy because it's like it's either on the person working at this Hilton who's treating my best friend like shit or it's like Chris Miles you know what I mean like and it's nice to be able to like let some of it out so I just come in with my crazy eyes on lockdown like I turn them on my heads to the side I'm like

I'm August River. We're all August River. Can we check in? Like, and it just...

They eventually just let us fucking check in But it was so funny Because you were like Building up this front desk worker so hard Like it was like a grown ass man Like fucking pressing you And I get there and it's like a sugar gay With orange acrylic nails And I just wasn't expecting it at all He was horrible And he should have known I am an ally But I had There was another lady It was the lady at the front Who finally like worked it out I ended up having to put my card down For all the rooms And it was like It was fine They let me in But

But I was on the phone with your manager and she's like, here, just go up to the front and talk to Stacey. Like, Stacey's going to help you out. And I look up there and Stacey's the dumb fucking bitch who's been screaming at me this whole time. I'm like, Stacey is not, I don't even want to give Stacey the satisfaction. But anyway, they let me in. Was that her real name? No. I learned my lesson. Stacey was not her real name. We have some prime hydration in our hands today because Logan won the podcast.

Oh my god, that was the most exciting thing that's happened to me all week I love happened to me I am so fucking happy Logan Paul won that fight I just hope wherever Nina Agdal is right now She is taking a fucking triple shot It's so crazy, like I'm so secondhand embarrassed Like could you imagine really talking that much shit online Just to like lose And lose in such a like despicable, embarrassing way It's so funny right now In strange ways

The number one Trending thing on Twitter Towards this fight Is just the word Embarrassing In combat sports On Twitter And so valid And then at the end How he like Charged him And all the security Came in Like just fighting Like such an Unfair fight Yeah And not even being good At the sport He finally starts Like throwing punches And he's missing And it's just The security guards

Poor thing Bless your heart Dylan Danis But honestly he tweeted That I had a gaping asshole So I don't really feel bad For him at all That's why the world Of fighting scares me so much And like even Back in the day When I like The opportunity was presented To me to potentially fight I was like I would never want to I still wouldn't Cause I would talk All that shit I would And then I don't know If I could like Back it up Like I would talk All that shit To who I'm fighting And then probably Get my ass beat Knowing me And it's like

How are you capable Of talking all that shit I think that was just Like the only It's like a little Chihuahua Like all bark no bite Like you have to be That obnoxious If you know you're Not gonna show up In other ways I just wouldn't Say those things To someone if I knew I couldn't take it home Yeah but there has to be Something said Like he has to have Brought like Cause he brought So much attention To the fight Like

I think they said He had like 4 billion Collective impressions Oh that's actually great There was 40 million On your gaping asshole tweet Yeah And you should There are still people To this day telling me That I'm like a fat whore

I'm like I love Dylan Danis fans Anyway You can probably convert them I was literally just gonna say to your OnlyFans Like in my head you had an OnlyFans right now I should have Yeah damn how do I like make that about me I'm like while you guys are here You know how like anytime a tweet goes viral Someone will like quote it and be like Well while you guys are here check out my mixtape And it's like

logan's so like iconic for that though like i think about just how like what i thought of logan paul and like how logan paul was just even like three four years ago no to what he is now is so insane i feel like he's never had a fight like this where it's like he had to take it home he had to deliver he everything was on the line reputation wise family wise like yeah and he was so like poised and like professional which is just what nobody i think expected from him i forgive you was so

He started the fight by like looking at Dylan and just being like, I forgive you. I forgive you. And like that's like getting in someone's head like that and being like, I forgive you. And then fucking beating their ass. Like that's so. I love it so much. I was saying there that my new dream for us is.

Is fight commentary See I think we would be So good at it Although we were really Honestly sitting downstairs And I'm like wow Doesn't it look like They're wearing Victoria's Secret robes Like all of Team Paul Was wearing black and pink And it was like silky And it did look like A Victoria's Secret robe But imagine that I feel like you could Get a whole new audience To watch the fight Because like They could watch it But from like our perspective Like you know how They have the guys Who are talking Which probably

By the way, the guys who were commentating on the fight were so biased. It was hilarious. It was so funny, but it was so hard not to because Dylan was fighting so unfairly. I love that. They weren't even like...

they were straight up being like dylan's so fucking embarrassing so motherfucking embarrassing it's but could you imagine if we were we also had like a little show running and we're like oh my god oh no the tea the tea i'm like just an idea i think we need to just try it on our own we need to have aaron like set us up to commentate a fight and we do it yeah we do like a pilot episode let's do on it 100 we have to

I also got arrested. I was just telling Brooke before this episode, I was like, this is your episode. Like, I am just fucking here to commentate. I promise this is my last story. Please don't click out. Almost got arrested. Honestly, Aaron, I think I have to send you the video.

It's pretty crazy. So essentially we had a show in Brea, California. We were leaving from San Diego and we were kind of given the option if we wanted to drive through the night after our show in San Diego and get to Brea and then sleep and wake up or drive the next day.

Like sleep in San Diego and drive the next day. I'm personally super bad at sleeping in the city and then waking up early enough to drive to the next city. So I always just try to like send myself at night if I can. So I sent myself at night and you were like, fuck no, I'm too tired. We had two shows today. Yeah, I had a headlight out. So I was like, I don't want to break the law. I got to go during the daytime. Yeah. Wait, what is happening? Wait, what is the drama? I don't even know what that is. What?

What is the drama sends me over the fucking edge. It's so girl coded. Okay. Like what is the drama about like a police officer like essentially screaming at you to pull over. But like that was so crazy because the way that that video seems it seems as though that he has been like

Chasing me forever I felt like I was in a high speed chase But he had only been pulling me over for like Maybe five seconds Like he just started screaming like that And I was like what the fuck I just have to say like Lila Gibney is so motherfucking good At capturing shit on camera She films everything and like thank god Because like what the fuck I would not be filming I'd be clenching my asshole praying And if I told you that happened I feel like no one would have even believed me Like the fact that he screamed Everybody on the road I was so embarrassed

And I was honestly in the wrong. But let me just defend myself here for a second. I have been driving for 10 years. I'm 26 years old and I have never had a traffic violation. I am the safest...

That's the most Brooke Schofield shit Like put that on your tombstone I am I'm the safest driver I learned to drive from my grandpa And I drive just like that I drive like a grandpa I never go over the speed limit I'm like a boring driver You are And you're a really heavy rule follower So it's just like It shows with your driving Yeah

So I'm on the freeway minding my business. Okay. And I see a cop doing this little zigzag situation on the freeway, like weight going back and forth and back and forth. And his sirens on his lights are on. I'm like, is this guy literally drunk driving? But I'm like, that would have been me. I would have been like the cops fucking drunk. I was the first person behind him. So I was like, wait, what the fuck is going on? So I followed him. Like I obviously slow down. Cause I'm like, what, like what's happening. I slowed down for a second. And I,

He's just not getting any faster. Okay. And I'm like, I'm going to have to either come to a complete stop on the freeway, which is illegal, or I'm going to have to pass this man. Okay. And I'm confused. I'm like, what's happening? Like, are we racing? So I passed him.

Which is like a really, really serious crime, apparently. You're supposed to come to a complete stop, no? I don't know. Here's the thing. Max nodding off camera. What I will say, though, I think it's either a California, like they teach you it in California and not Arizona. Because I posted a TikTok about it. And I told the story. And it has like...

Tens of thousands of people saying they had no idea. They've never heard that before in their lives. Okay. So I'm like, I feel validated in that. But then also it's like common sense is like, obviously you don't fucking pass a cop with his lights and siren on if he's weaving in and out of like... But you know what? Lack of common sense is not illegal. Those will be my famous last words one day for something else. Oh my God. So I'm like, I obviously... But he...

Immediately just goes crazy on me. Obviously, I saw all the videos because Lila Gibney might as well have had a GoPro on her head. But in the video, this cop is like very much so mean cop. He did not need to be like, he was screaming at you. You know what I mean? It was like major power trip. Yeah. From the footage, it's crazy. First of all, before he even got to my car, he's screaming, turn the car off. Like as if I was in a high speed chase. Yeah, it is kind of fucking nuts. And I rolled down the window and I had my fucking freckles on. And. And.

my little pink sweatshirt and I'm like, sir, what is the drama? It is so funny though because Brooke looks at the cop and what did you say? You were like, I don't appreciate your tone with me or something. No, I said stop talking to me like that. Because

Which is just so funny because it's like, those are the words of someone who has, like, never been arrested. But no, it was because I... And I know that that's such a, like, little white girl thing to do is just, like, to think you can say that. Bitch, don't even pull me into that, though. Like, I am submissive. I'm so afraid of police officers. Like, I'm... I would have... Like, so sorry, officer. Sorry, officer. No, well, I...

I feel like I kind of have the opposite feeling when I come to police officers because I feel like I've been around them so much in my life that I'm just like honest. I saw my mom bite one once. No way. Bit a cop. Where? In our front yard. Why did she bite him? Why did she bite him? Wait, honestly, should I call her and ask her? Why? Yes. But anyway, so... Did she take a chunk out? I don't know. I watched the video...

You can't just glaze over that I'm gonna call her I watched the video back though And I wasn't like don't fucking talk to me like that I was like please stop talking to me like that Because I was about to sob No it was scary I would have definitely cried I was so sorry I genuinely didn't know I was watching too much Formula 1 And I thought that he was doing like the pace car situation I thought he was just trying to slow down the masses Not stop the entire flow of traffic Also let me just bring this up really quickly

Talk your shit, bro. He was explaining to me that when that happens, apparently everybody knows it but me, it's called a traffic break. And it is because they're either clearing something out of the road, there's an accident ahead or whatever. They're trying to keep those people up there safe. It's crazy that the sirens are just universal. Like, how are you supposed to know? Like, they should get little signs that say like, okay, we're all stopping now. Yeah, but exactly right. But he's explaining this to me and I'm thinking to myself...

Okay so if that's the case And you were really trying To keep someone up there Safe From the masses of traffic Then why the second That I passed you Did you completely Change priorities To pulling me over And you just left them In the dust Okay now 500 people Are coming right at him Whoa Oh did everyone Did the rest of traffic Just keep going Yeah cause now he's busy No one's There's no traffic break anymore He's over here with me So I'm like clearly You weren't trying To keep anyone safe You just wanted to Pull me over Or maybe he was just Having fun playing Like Mario Kart You know That's what I

Oh my god, if I was a cop, I would get so spunky with it. Like, like banana peels and all. Oh. Like, you know what I mean? I literally thought I was in like Grand Theft Auto. It was crazy. Anyway, she had five stars on her head. Actually, I feel like my mom might not like it if I bring up the cop thing. But can you just like, what do you remember? I remember I think she was getting arrested for something.

Which was common Like it was actually Like very regular But she bit a cop And then she got arrested For assaulting a police officer But she's doing so much better now I feel like both of those stories Make me sound like I'm just like a defiant Like horrible person I was I was having a really bad week Honestly both of those I mean and again This is just like the definition Of two dumb bitches Sitting telling each other Exactly But like I would have fought The front desk worker

I would have like... It was just so crazy. I literally... I would have taken out a piece of paper and made a birth certificate that said August River. I started thinking I was crazy. Like, I was like, am I scamming August? Like, I don't know. I would have changed my fucking name to August River and shoved it down his throat. You know what I mean? The cop thing, I just like... I never understand why you have to be like horrible to anybody in that situation, especially like I clearly didn't know. I'm clearly going to have to pay your fine either way. So why the fuck are you screaming at me? Absolutely screaming at you. That is... That is just crazy. Like the power trip of it all. You know? Like police. Yeah. And what like...

Oh, my God. Also, it just blew my mind because it's like, I saw you there. You know what I mean? Obviously, I didn't know. If I...

You know what I mean? Like, I know you can see me. Like, what did I think I was going to get away with? I genuinely just didn't know. Yeah, it's true. It is just like... And it's not on the driver's test. And having Lila give me in your front seat also, like, I just... She's going to hate me even saying this, but it's like, what did she have on her? You know? Oh, yeah. She said she had, like, all kinds of drugs. Well, not drugs, but she had, like...

on weed in the backseat, which is, it's legal anyway, but I was like, not, that wasn't. But just still, it's like, there's just so many things Lila Gibney has done. Like, don't run the name. Like, don't run our names. Oh, yeah. Like, you know what I mean? I would have just like, had a whole fucking panic attack. And my registration was expired. Oh, that's awful. That's actually awful. Well, I had an amazing time. I got to the shows beautifully. I checked into the room beautifully. I know. I'm really glad.

Glad we could switch up So that you could have A little jolly old time I was just gonna say Like I would never Ever normally say that But it's like This never happens to me Like normally Both of those things Would happen to me So it's like so fun I feel like we genuinely Switch places on this Run of tour What I learned from it Though is that Because Like I said That first day Before any of that happened I was giving Major bad vibes Okay And I attracted All that negative energy That was my fault

I was being mean to people and the world was mean back to me. You think that's why bad things always happen to me? Because I'm just like a negative stupid. No. I'm not mean to people. I just am so like... Everything bad always happens to me. Like that's like... You know. I guess. I don't know. I don't really know what the actual...

Like situation is If it's like negative energy Or like you're being negative Because I think I was just Being negative Which is that Or is there even a difference Between us I've been trying to do All that shit Like delusionally manifest Like become positive Like We are We did delusionally manifest Like if you think about it What I'm like we manifested We delusionally manifested A whole tour That's kind of true We delusionally manifested Well actually that's all I got I'm trying to think of anything else I've delusionally manifested

Maybe like my new little boyfriend. That's so funny because one of your other boyfriends just left 30 minutes ago. Like was literally, I was thinking like, is he going to be here while we film? No, I like, I kept being like, you can stay. But I was like hitting the high pitch. You can stay. Do you think he listens? Because like if I were dating someone, I would listen to every single podcast they ever did. I get a little fucking scared. I'm not going to lie. Hello.

I'm gonna literally cry. No, I'm not worth tears, I swear to God. No, this is a good thing. I love you. I'm Josh, I love you too. Nice to meet you. Thank God. You did it. Josh, we did it. I feel panic attack all day. I'm like, I loved you in Oppenheimer. That's so nice. Oh my gosh. I've said it on every episode since I've seen it. Josh Peck is here.

everybody on the cancelled podcast we love to see it oh my god oh my god just no applause we're in a silent room Josh how are you I'm so happy to see you I'm so happy to see you Brooke she has been so on to me all day it's actually crazy no cause I'm like I'm never on time for the podcast and all day I'm like we have to start at 530 she was giving me

major like fishy vibes like she's like she's like are we gonna be ready for 5:30 I'm like you don't care about that that's tough at all and then we told her that our friend Ryan was coming but it's like all this planning for Ryan like we would just never do that I know but then I was like she must really have a crush on Ryan cuz like she even put shoes on cuz she didn't want the bottom of her feet to be black it was for you but who's Ryan just our friend like he's just our little friend but

I surprised you. That is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. I'm like, it's so nice to meet you. It's such an honor to meet you. I don't understand, but I really appreciate it. Well, I mean, you should understand. It has been like an on, like ever since she saw you in Oppenheimer, which I want to break down once and for all, so I never have to hear about it again. I would die for you. Listen, but like. Same here. You're done. I get it. I get it.

if I hear about you and Oppenheimer one more time. I feel like it was really just brushed over. You said it like one time on one little podcast. You were like, yeah, I was an Oppenheimer. And then you were such an important character. Yeah, weirdly I was. What was his character? I want to know. Did you not press the button or you did press the button? Were you supposed to? I'm not, I don't. I'm actually, and I think that's, people think that I like sort of push the button and sort of drop during the test. Like,

to sort of ignite the atomic bomb. - Okay. - But in fact, I was sort of on the button that if the whole thing went south, that I had to actually like kill the, basically it was a test. And I have to sort of stop the test because if the charges go weird, like literally it could ruin. - Destroy the whole atmosphere. - Okay. - And then the world would end.

How did this come about? Oppenheimer? Yes. Okay. So technically, technically, I'm not allowed to talk about this stuff because we're on strike, but for you, Tana. Wait, wait. I don't want to make you do that. I know. No one from that realm is watching this podcast if it makes you feel any better. I can't come here and meet you for the first time and not talk about it.

I'm equally impressed with all the other things you've done but Oppenheimer just happens to be my fave. No, it's me too. Like, if people like bring up Drake and Josh I'm always appreciative but I'm like, heard it. Like, if someone says Oppenheimer I'm like,

Thank you so much. It's very nice. But yeah, I don't know how I got so lucky except that I auditioned and I made a good tape. It's very classic. And I think Christopher Nolan's the kind of guy who's like,

The formerly chubby one. He's the one I need. It was so good. I want Tana to see it so bad. I haven't seen it. I'm a vacationer. You might have to watch it. I have seen Barbie. I get it. No, no, that's awful. No, it's no judgment. It's so cool that these two, like, what a moment for movies, right? That these two incredible movies completely crushed it.

You should do like a Barbie moment for Halloween. Almost. Like go play into the Barbenheimer. Oh yeah, you should be like a Ken. Have you seen it? I haven't. Well, I mean, you are off the timer. You haven't seen it? I feel like you have to. My wife and I didn't see it because we're like knee deep in children. Yeah, how is that? Knee deep in children is crazy. We're just humans, baby. We're like talking about a third. Wait, really? Yeah, it's crazy.

We're out here procreating. You have no idea. Like scheduling with Josh is so funny because he's like, oh, the kids have this, the kids have that. And it's like, I've just known you for so long that it's like, it's, it's so funny to see and it's incredible. Yeah. I don't recognize myself when I'm writing that shit. Yeah. It's kind of crazy. We have a soccer game for Max this morning. I'm like, who am I? Wait, how old are they? Uh,

Five and one. Five and one. That's a good age difference, four years. Yeah, that is a good age difference. I want a little kiddo. That'd be so cute. Me too. I think we might have a little time ahead of us. I'd be a horrible parent, though. No, I think you'd be a good parent. Why would you be horrible? I guess right now in life, I think about how busy I am, but I guess you like fucking, you know, you switch things around. You can outsource. And you have lots of friends. Do you have nannies? No. I mean, we have someone who helps, but she's like...

She doesn't raise them. She's not there. When I think of nannies, it's like someone who's there 12 hours a day. We have someone who comes a couple days a week for a few hours so that my wife can take a breath and actually go to the gym and do her work and stuff. So yeah, we have somebody who helps. That's good. And then one of them's in school. Have I not made this show wholesome? You just made it. We've been trying to transition into some more wholesome content. What are we talking about?

What were we talking about? We were talking about... Oh, I almost got arrested yesterday. She almost got arrested. How come? Okay, let me just go ahead and ask you. What would you do if you saw a cop car on the freeway doing this? I think that's a thing they do. Yeah, but like... They like slow down traffic. Like the zigzag, to slow it down, right? To stop it? I didn't know that. You can't pass them.

You passed him? I passed him. And he pulled you over. Oh, he pulled me over. He pulled her over. Just like in the most aggressive way. Have you ever gotten pulled over and gotten to pull the like, I'm Josh Peck card? I don't think so. I always get the ticket. I always get the ticket and I'm compliant.

I'm like the asshole who's like literally like I'll get pulled over in the middle of like Beverly Hills because I'm like one mile over the and I like I put my hands out the window as they walk up so they can see them

That's a thing? Oh my god. I'm just like, hey, here they are. No. Like, I believe they had cops walk up and be like, what are you doing? And I'm like, making you comfortable. Looking out for your safety, sir. I was telling her that. I'm like overly apologetic and so compliant because I get so scared. I just think the worst thing is like possibly going to happen to me every time. Have you ever been arrested? I was detained. For what? For jaywalking.

How old were you? I was 19 and I tried to fake an asthma attack to get out of it and he wasn't having it. He wasn't having it. Yeah. I was like, sir, I'm running. Like I saw a ride aid across the street and I'm like, I'm running to pick up my inhaler. No. And he didn't give a fuck. And he's like, did you hit the like shortness of breath? I'm like bad acting all the way to Oppenheimer.

Yeah, it's honestly beautiful. Big wheezing to Oppenheimer. I do this thing where I have a guest and I'm like, okay, Josh Peck is coming. And the surprise was it. That's all I fucking prepared. I was like, we're just going to shoot the shit. Yeah, please. You know what I mean? We're just going to talk to him about our lives. I'm trying to think about... How can I help? How can I help? It's so real. How can I help? It's so real. Honestly, anything. I've made this nothing but negative. Tell us about all the positive things that you have going on. Well, I mean, I can... How is... Can I help with like...

insight into the male mind. I'm married. Should we talk to him about our dating lives? Yeah. People would love it. Can we start with you? No, I really like, I can't put that out there anymore because he's going to just cut it off. He's not. She made me title the last podcast, Brooke is dating a homeless man.

First of all, it's unhoused. And then she showed me, and then she tried to show me a thumbnail with tents in the back. I didn't make the, I didn't make the tent thumbnail. That was Oscar's idea. I shut that down. I said that was a bad idea. There's palm trees behind us. Okay. There's palm trees behind us. I'm not about to cosplay as homeless. Okay. I'm just saying I got to give the guy a break. Yeah, that's fair. Tell us about your dating life. She's dating a little, a really, really rich guy. So Josh. Yes. Normally I go for the unhoused. Right.

Right? Yeah. And that's where I feel comfortable. But you guys are so successful. Like, what's unhoused to you? Oh, I'll take it there. No home. Literally no home. No home? I'll take it there. I've been sleeping on a boat. Oh, he owns a boat? Is he a detective? Wait, he has a boat home? A houseboat. A houseboat. Why do you say is he a detective? Wait, is that a detective thing to do? Yeah, like every movie. Like, yeah, I think it was like, I think it started in like Lethal Weapon. Mel Gibson lived on a boat.

Whoa, I wonder if he's doing some like undercover shit. I don't know. He definitely has a house, by the way. It's just like a funny bit that we've been doing. But yeah, she's... I haven't seen it. I've only seen a boat. I go for like the no bed frame having like, you know what I mean? I wouldn't say unhoused, but it's just usually like as close to unhoused as you can get, you know? We call it a hobo sexual where you like date her for a place to stay. Yeah. And that usually happens, but...

I've been talking to a guy recently who is very successful. And the thing is, is I'm not sure how. And he's been kind of like sending me like thousands of dollars in roses and then like taking me on these extravagant dates, like took me to a date at the...

uh mayborn hotel in beverly hills when we get there and the whole staff is like waiting for us and then they like take us up to this like secret lounge in the hotel like speakeasy vibes he was he went upstate for work and he was like i want you to come and i like laid down for a nap and i woke up to my roommates waking me being like he booked you a jet like get on the jet did it like come whatever but the red flag here is that he's 21.

Yeah. It has to either be illegal or not his. Right. Did you ever think about the day you'd finally meet Josh Peck? No. I didn't. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm so sorry. What was Cillian Murphy like?

Oh, what a dreamboat. He's awesome. Everything. What's Killian Murphy? He looks like sexy, older Matt Rife. He's like... Yeah. Wow. Very similar looking. Is he in Oppenheimer? He's Oppenheimer. Oh.

Oh, bless your heart. I love you. I just love you for you, okay? You too. I'm sorry. I feel that connection with you. I really do. We really appreciate each other for who we are. I know. You always have always just made me feel so at home. And every time I leave doing anything with you, the only thought process I have is like, I can't believe I just told Josh Peck like all these things. I think last time we were talking, it was about like Ozempic and like just embarrassing ass like

I was just like telling you the most embarrassed. I was vape coughing like all over you. It was great. And like, and you still just somehow love me. On my pod. Good guy's pod. It's beautiful. How is your co-host? He's great, Ben. Yeah, he's the best. We gotta do like a crossover. We should do a fucking crossover. Please.

Please. Any fucking time. I want to know. So, I mean, I guess back, I have a question that was just kind of arose in my mind as we were talking about our dating lives that are quite the roller coaster. Before you were married and like when you were in the public eye and like younger, did you have any like crazy dating experiences? No, because like I've always been attracted to like a really cute like CVS pharmacy tech. Sorry.

See, I... Fuck, why? Do they give you the good pills? Well, yes, first of all. I'd be like, what do you got back there? Right. I would say this, like, growing up, that weirdly saved me because I never got too hyped on myself. Okay. So I never was, like, chasing after those, like, big, messy public relationships with, like, whoever the hot star was. Would you ever tell us a hookup or no? Is that crazy? I feel like...

I don't think, it's not that exciting. Like, I mean, I've hooked up with crazy people, but they were just like normal humans, like from Baltimore. You know what I mean? Represent Baltimore? We'll talk after. You probably know her. Like you never had like an Amanda Bynes run in. I mean, I've run into her.

Are you saying did we hook up? Yeah. No. Oh, man. But I've run into her. We've talked about this. I love Amanda. Yeah, what was she like back in the day? Crazy, talented, really nice. Yeah. And just...

Everything you'd want her to be. But I was also the new kid. Like, I came in from New York. I got this TV show. I was 13. I got put on The Amanda Show. Yeah. And you got put on... I didn't even know that. I didn't have, like, any connection to showbiz. And they're like, we're flying you and your mom out to California. Yeah. And I walk on stage. They're in their second season. And I was sort of...

not the odd man out but they were just like who is this kid the nobody wanted me on the show the president of nickelodeon this guy albie hecht who's been like my you know i owe him everything because he saw me because i'd be at nickelodeon in new york all the time being like i'm chubby funny and ambitious you need those are the three best things absolutely ever yeah ever

And he was like, okay, I'll give you a shot. Like, you're funny. Wait, that's everything. I love that. Yeah. That's like a beautiful story. That's actually so sweet. Damn. Did you ever have any Dan Schneider run-ins?

What was he like? I'm not a fan. Okay. Yeah, that's pretty universal experience. Yeah. That does check out. I've been recently like really delving into like just in my free time, like studying the effects of, I guess, fame, like at a young age and like cortisol levels and all that type of stuff. And just like how it, do you ever feel like,

the highs of being so famous as a young kid versus like the lows and like you know what i mean like that it affected you in any type of way like did you ever have a moment where you were like this is this is fucked with my head a little i mean it's not like i was like morbidly obese at 16 it's uh it's it's funny my wife's like you know if you don't want people to bring it up maybe you should stop bringing it up i'm like word thank you wife um

Yeah, dude. I was, I mean, I was certainly going through it during that time. And then I lost a bunch of weight and had to get sober at 21. So certainly I was going through my own version of trauma and pain and all this, this weirdness and, and coupled with the thing that like, you know, my mom always said that she's like, you know, if you had been into drugs,

playing an instrument or Little League or whatever it is that kids are into, like, I would have supported you in that. You just were into this weird thing that you can do professionally as a kid. Like, there's no real Doogie Howser out there, no matter how smart you are. Like, most 14-year-olds aren't, like, walking through Cedar Sinai being like, you have eczema. Like, you just, you're very smart and you...

go through school quickly but like you can't become a doctor at 13 in most cases yeah as a kid when you're thrust into this adult world with I heard Mayim Bialik you know blossom like

She's, I know, I'm old. No, stop it. I just know nothing. Did you ever watch Big Bang Theory? You'd know her if you saw it. You know my MBI? I'm old. I'm old. Respect. Who is she in Big Bang Theory? I don't know her character's name. You would know if you saw her picture, and she's awesome. I just watch nothing. I had no childhood. I never watched anything growing up, and then now I just never do, so I'll have to tune in to it.

You didn't miss anything. But she was a kid star and she talks about like, the reason I wouldn't have my kids become actors is because as a kid, you need to be allowed to have a bad day. And as an actor, you can't have a bad day because...

Because it's the only job on that set where like, if you don't show up, they can't shoot. Yeah. Right? Every other job, even the director cannot show up. Yeah. And they can figure it out. So that amount of pressure and money riding on a young person, I think, is too much. Have you been sober since you were 21? Yeah. Can I ask from what? Everything. What do you got? Yeah. Yeah. Did you have like a...

aha moment where you were like I need to be sober talk about it in my book where I kind of say like at 17 I lost all this weight but I was like the same head but in a different body yeah and so I thought like I'm at the finish line like I did it like now I just don't have to worry about anything but quickly I was just still plagued with like the same thoughts and

that had always messed with me my whole life. Dad issues and, you know, you name it. I also was 17 and supremely stupid and like, it's time for me to catch up. Supremely stupid is so funny. Like aggressively dumb. Just like, I have to party now. Yeah. Because I spent like my teenage years like, you know, um,

alphabetizing my DVDs yeah going and like making out with people yeah so now it's time yeah and with the fame like anything you wanted could be handed to you you know party wise drug wise bad environment wise and I just spent four years being a total cliche yeah I think like the most sort of insidious or like corrosive moment of my life was the first time I like tried drugs and I was like 17 and I'm

And I'm laying in bed that night, and I realized what a great time I'd had that night. Yeah. I felt like charming and handsome, and I was having great conversations and talking to girls. And I remember I got, I laid in my bed that night and thought, oh, why would anyone ever want to feel any way else? But then it's like, why would you ever want to feel another way? And I took that deep breath that I'd been seeking my whole life, where I was just like,

Like Radio K-Fuck had been turned down and suddenly I felt free. And I can look back on that now and go like, oof.

Like that was the moment where I said like, oh, this is who I am. Yeah. Like, and that sent me on a four year vision quest that could have been really bad. Really, really. And I'm glad that it wasn't. I'm glad that you're here and I'm glad that you're, you know. Glad there wasn't social media. Yeah. During that time. Yeah, I was going to say, because I, like in my head, I'm like, it's you and Hilary Duff, like the only ones who didn't go crazy. But maybe it just wasn't publicized at all. Yeah. Or was it just kind of like a private thing you dealt with?

Yeah, I mean, Hillary and I were on, we did the show together and we kind of talk about that, that we were both, even though I went through my own challenging stuff, like to be able to have gotten out of it at 21. Yeah. That is so young to get out of it. It's what you said about being a total cliche is such a crazy thought because it's like I have, I feel like I have that thought a lot where I look back at my like party years with social media and how crazy I was and like,

It is just, people almost want to see it. Like the total cliche of it all. They're like rooting to see young actors like go down that, or young people, young famous people like go down that path. Yeah. And it's crazy that, yeah, there's not a lot of empathy for it either. You kind of have to be the one to like get your shit together. You know? Yeah, because they look at us as freaks. Yeah. Like they, there's something about us

Even like a child prodigy, let's say. You're always wondering, that 12-year-old chess champion, whatever happened to them? They're like, oh, they're like that 23-year-old guy living on a boat, dating broke. No, I'm just saying.

You know what I mean? You don't really know what comes to these people because you feel like, oh, they're so young and it's going to be too weird. How could they ever grow up and become a real person? Yeah, that's so true. They want to see you as that Josh forever. I guess so. I feel like you fought that really well. Yeah, was there a major event that made you be like, I have to stop right now? Or was it just like...

I should probably stop doing that. I just felt like a cliche. I was breaking my mom's heart. There were a lot of close calls. And I don't talk about it too in depth. People are always like, this fool was smoking a blunt thinking he was on... Yeah, narcos. Yeah, like thought he was doing bath salts. He probably smoked a joint, freaked himself out and got sober. No, I was doing bath salts.

Have you done bath salts? No. But have you? No. Bath salts is a crazy. Who was the guy? Miami zombie. Who was the guy that he was a YouTuber? Oh. He was a YouTuber. Oh my God. And then he started doing, it just sounds like someone I would date. He was a YouTuber and then he started doing bath salts. What's his fucking name? And then he like. I don't know. Yeah. Can you Google it?

Like YouTuber bath salts? I just saw the guy who ate the other guy on bath salts in Miami. The Miami zombie. So, what do you mean ate the other guy? He ate him. All of him? Yeah, all of him. Like he was eating him on the side of the road. Like it was like a dead person and he started eating him. It was like a thing. But anyway, so you...

It was not just weed that you were smoking. I want to hear more about, the problem is I got sober at 21, so like some new shit has dropped that I really missed out. Bath salt. No 2CV. Heineken with lime. K2. Yeah. K3. Molly. That's, it is, that is, that's good that you missed the mark on that. You know what I mean? What's in right now? What are the kids doing? The kids are doing, in my opinion,

the kids are doing 2C-B. What is that? Oh, that's a hallucinogenic. Yeah, it's like, it's a powder. It's, you know, you do it the same way you do any other powder, but it's hot pink. And that's to me what has always scared me about 2C-B. I thought you were going to say why you like it. I'm like, honestly, the first time I ever did see it though, I was like, that's

You know? Like that's like, that's Cam. That's hot pink. Isn't it like a mix of a few like that don't make sense together? I'm pretty sure it's like. It's like Molly, Ketamine, Cocaine, like all in one. I feel like those two don't belong together. It's really popular in Miami and like places like that. If Miami co-signs it. Then we don't. I'm in.

No. No, then we're in. Where are you from? I'm from New York. You're from New York. Why did I think you were from Florida? I lived in Florida for a few years. Did you? I have some Florida energy. Where did you live in Florida? Boca. Boca is so, it's like super nice. Yeah, it's where all the New York Jews live.

Really? Yeah. It's where, like, growing up in New York, like, with my, like, big extended Jewish family, it was, like, either half of them, like, would vacation in Boca or just straight up were like, we're done with the winters. It's Boca. It's Boca. So how old were you when you lived in Boca? I was, like, from four to eight. Oh, okay, okay. You were younger. It was short.

I wasn't raging. What was going up in New York? Remember when we first met and we shot a video and you were like, and I was like, so you grew up in Nevada. And you were like, I can't sit here if you're going to pronounce it like that. I know.

Nevada is so like East Coast to say. Is it? So did I teach you Nevada? What? Did I teach you that it's Nevada? Yeah, you taught me it was Nevada. Oh my God, Tana Mongeau taught Josh Peck a thing. That's all I need. That's like, I taught Mr. Oppenheimer himself. Literally in Oppenheimer. Nevada. What was, you know that I've been recently like-

really imploring the idea of becoming bi-coastal and living in New York partially. Do you love New York? I do. I love it so, so, so much. And I want to know from a New Yorker, like, what do you think? I'll say this. I love New York. I'm from there. I think that it's really fun. My wife's family, like her cousins are doing a couple of years. My ride's here. That's my other boyfriend.

That's what you need next, the helicopter man. You have the helicopter man. It's a 21-year-old? It's getting scary. May I ask how old you are? 25. So is this the first younger man you've dated? Yes. We're not official or anything. We've just been on a few dates. But yes, I don't normally date younger than me. But the thing is, I'm at the point where I feel like I date these men that are around my age and their emotional maturity is still so...

Yeah, I feel like if you're not 35, you're 21. Exactly. That's a fascinating, that's a good quote. Yeah, is that an issue? Like what's... Like would I rather have a 25-year-old with maybe like no bed frame? Or even like a 28-year-old. Yeah, or a 28-year-old with the same... What about like a 28-year-old with like a 401k, like making like between 85 and 175,000 a year? Do you know any? Yeah, I know plenty. I don't think you'll like them. Why not? Because they wear Dockers. Okay. Like I don't know, like I think...

Don't put anything past me. That's the thing. Fair enough, fair enough. I'm trying to just rebrand my, you know, I want, this 21-year-old doesn't really fit the mark, but I want someone who's just like normal and has their shit together. Despite the money, which is always attractive, but like, do you kind of feel like there's a bit, like, because for me, right, like I have friends who are 30 and even though there's only a six-year difference, it feels like a massive generational gap. Like there was a...

In references. Because you know, it's so nice when you're talking amongst people and you'll pull out a reference and they just know intrinsically what you're talking about. 100%. Do you feel that with the 21-year-old? We haven't gotten there yet. I'm sure I will. She's like, we haven't had any conversations. I think for me it's more so anyone who's 21 is...

You know, they're just obviously in such a different era of their life than a 25 year old. And I feel like I'm newly sober and I'm very much like, yeah, which is kind of crazy for me. I didn't think I would ever be that that human, but I've been loving it. But I mean, anyone who just turned 21 usually is.

having so much fun and getting so drunk and yeah we were like out the other night and he was like super drunk and I was like oh no like this would have been amazing for like the Tana that would be like let's go to the next part like it just it was such a

miss of eras, I guess, you know? Yeah. Brooke, where are you from? Arizona. Tucson, Phoenix, Glendale, Scottsdale. I'm from Phoenix and then I went to college in Tucson. U of A? Did you go to college? No. My childhood was stoned. He didn't go to elementary school. Did you finish high school? No. Okay, neither did I. Do you ever? Duh.

Did you ever have moments, you know, in your 20s, maybe nearing 30, even now, where you're like, I want to go back and get that? Did you get a GED? Yeah, I have my GED. I don't have my GED. The funny thing about that was like when we were 16 working on the show, because by law they have to school you for like three hours a day.

eventually and that bites into like how much time you can actually work because when you're under 18 like you can only work I think it's 16 like 10 hours a day yeah and I just remember it was floated and I can't tell you who but they definitely worked for the show they were like you know there's a guy and we're like uh-huh and you

you kind of go and you take a GED test and if you don't pass it he helps you oh like the original college's admission scandal no way so is that what you did yeah and they were like and you'll go take this GED and then thankfully I passed it but it was kind of like and it you know like but you didn't really have to is the where's the guy now and can he come over Silver Lake so of course he is name is Ron

And he has patchwork tattoos. Thank you, Mr. Ron. Yeah. Did a lot of child stars do that? I'm sure. And then, like, as soon as you had that GED, they didn't have to school you anymore. Isn't that wild? And were you just walking around like, I'm fucking smarter than all of you, like, I'm some narcissist shit? I would be. Yeah, because... I'd be toting that GED around like I was Einstein. Yeah, like you were Oppenheimer, perhaps. Yeah.

Exactly. That's so crazy. Did you ever, so have you ever wanted to like go back and further your education? I, yeah, it's a nice, it's like every trope. It's a nice thought. It's a nice thought. And like everyone who gets older, they're like, oh, if only I had appreciated that time where I could just study and enjoy learning. But it's wasted on the young. Yeah, it really is. I was just saying that because I did go to college and it's like. What did you major in?

I was pre-nursing And then I did three and a half years And then didn't finish But I think about it now And I'm like I would have loved to Like if I could take those classes now I'd be so fascinated But at the time I was like I have to go to Sigma Chi Would you ever finish it?

Yeah, but then what? I'm a nurse. I literally talk about like shitting myself on a podcast. I think that we're transcending into like... Okay, that was a bad example. Yeah, that's in the nurse genre. Yeah, that is in the nurse realm. Maybe some other things aren't. A nurse will really make your hospital stay nice. Yeah, they really do. We love a nurse. Make a break. They'll totally... I would have been a horrible nurse. Yeah, I'm just imagining you wiping someone's ass. I was cosplaying. I'm not kidding you guys. I was watching Grey's Anatomy when I was applying for college. Great. That was the only reason...

I was nursing Really? I literally was watching it And I was like I have to be in the hospital Because I'm looking for Mr. McSteamy Is that what they call him? Mr. McSteamy? There's McDreamy and McSteamy And they're like Patrick Brimsey And Eric Dane I've never seen Grey's Anatomy Oppenheimer Then Grey's Anatomy

Yeah, I remember my buddy was an attorney and he would do these big, work at the district courthouse in downtown LA. And one time he's like, come on, come. And he was like a typical 55-year-old guy with kind of a belly. Oh, we love him. Typical lawyer, great coffee stain on his tie. That's my type. And he was like, why don't you come watch a trial sometime? It's interesting. And I was like, I'd love to. Wait, that's sick. So I go down and I sit there like...

in the audience for it you know like it's fucking deal or no deal audience is hilarious yeah I think imagine too you're like at trial for something you did like you getting pulled over and Josh Peck is in the bucket it would be exactly like seeing him in Oppenheimer like whoa like whatever

I thought, same feeling. I'm like, and the price is right on the end. Yeah. One dollar. But I, and so I watch it and I'm there and we go to lunch after. He's like, what do you think? I'm like, it's like law and order, but like, none of you are cute. Yeah. Literally. That's crazy. I really would love to see your nursing era. I think nurses can still have fun too. I just fucked my nurse by accident. She did. Say more. Yeah.

Okay, Josh, I was just debating if I even wanted to bring this up. I've told this story on the canceled podcast like three times and I've cut it out every single time. Like I get almost to the home stretch of the story and then I'm like,

I just can't get it there to tell it, you know what I mean? To put it out on the internet. But we've been touring the podcast, right? And when it happened, when I fucked my nurse, I was FaceTiming all my friends and telling them what was happening. And all of their reactions were...

I felt like it was the price is right. You know what I mean? It was very, they were all very reactive because it was like, what the fuck did you just do? What was your reaction? Sorry to interrupt. I was just distraught. Distraught? I was worried about her license. I was worried about everything. All of it. And I posted all this. Lady nurse? Yes. Amazing. Okay. Cool.

And so I posted all the screenshots to my Instagram story of all my friends' reactions via FaceTime when I was telling them. And then I never ended up airing the story on the podcast. I was originally doing that to kind of be like, this week's podcast is going to get real medical, real crazy. And then I never did. And then on tour, a fan in the audience asked about it, and I told the story on stage. So I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea of just telling the story. I would say we just lay it all out for Josh for the final time. Okay, why did you have a nurse? It's L.A.,

And everyone has their house call nurses and their house call doctors. You strike me as the type who goes to the doctor's office. Not everyone, by the way. Yeah, because I'm a schmuck. I'm dumb. I'm not like Tana. I'm not like Brooke. I'm in the waiting room like...

I'm fine. Another hour? Cool. I'll go fuck myself. Yeah, and that's normal. Now I do that too because I fucked up my house call sitch, okay? And it's just like to give you IVs after a tough night. Yes, I have this one specific nurse and she does a lot of celebrities and stars and stuff.

Everyone. She is the nurse. And she does IPs and she does B12 shots and she does, if you're sick, she'll come, you know, do your thing. I think she's doing, she was doing people's ozempic. She was, she does it all. Peptides. Yeah. Multifaceted woman right there. You know, and...

I'd known her forever and very much family friend energy, you know, we're very close. She'd seen me at my worst a lot. You know, I would text her anytime I had any problems with anything and she was just always there for me. And there was a night like a couple, probably two months ago now, um, where, so Jake Paul was fighting, right? He was boxing and I've learned now, I mean, now I'm sober, but at the time I wasn't that, um,

When Jake Paul is fighting, everyone is very much celebrating and they're so excited and they bet on him and they're watching and they're interested and everyone has these watch parties and they're all drinking and it's a happy, fun moment. And I noticed that it's like I was drinking too, but not for those reasons. I was like, why is he so much richer than me? I'm literally so upset. Welcome to my world. It's just like I was drinking almost every...

Just like to... I don't really have the words for it, but you get it. To numb it. It'd be like... I don't know. Just watching an ex boo thrive like that. Sure. Could maybe create an environment for having a cocktail or 17. Sure. And so I got very, very, very drunk that night. And I came home and I had an appointment that I didn't know about. Like my...

My assistant, this is so Tana, just LA awful, out of touch, coded. But my assistant was like, your doctor's waiting at the house for you. And it's like 10 p.m. And she was giving me a bunch of shots. And I think we were about to go on tour. And I was just getting like B12 and just a bunch of shit to kind of like be healthier. To like feel, it takes a lot of energy out of you and stuff on the road. With like 16 shots of tequila in your stomach. Yeah, and I had just been, cancels out. And that's where I was at at the time. You know, I was like, perfect. Perfect.

And I get there and I'm so drunk and I'm like, give me my shot. I'm not even going to feel it. And she gives me all my shots and...

I don't know what was like, what was in the cocktail, you know, but it was very much immediately giving, don't mix this with alcohol. You know, like some, you're not supposed to take antibiotics with alcohol. Like how it like. Yeah. I don't think anything. I don't. Like don't even take vitamins. And that's, that's, it just made me so much more drunk than I was. And at the time my mindset was like,

Why don't you stay? She was giving you like Cialis in your eye. I mean, that's what it felt like. And so at the time, my mindset was very much like, why don't you stay? Let's have a drink. Let's have a... And that's on her, right? I had cheeks too to tango. I mean, she stayed.

Okay. Yeah. And we ended up splitting a bottle of wine. And I was already like, I just didn't need that. I don't know. I'm just thinking of you both with IVs in your arms. Pouring wine into the IV bag. Yeah. Like that. That was the vibes. That was the vibes. And somehow I slipped and fell and I had sex with my nurse. And I don't know. Did you make the first move? Yeah. I don't remember, but it sounds like me.

Yeah. You know. I don't know. I don't know. Did she have scrubs on? She did not? She didn't? I don't think so. How unprofessional. I know. Then again, you guys slept together. Yeah, that's just a little. Did she have her name tag on? Did she have to go like. She was off the clock. No, I think she was in a normal garb. Lab coat? Normal. I'm trying to give the people something to think about.

about right that's what i'm saying i can't picture it the stethoscope she's like choking me with the stethoscope could you imagine it just yeah i have one flash of the whole memory of it and i was just 69ing my nurse oh my god it's not cute and it's not sweet i can't wait to tell my wife about this on the drive home she's a big fan

I fucking love your wife I'll be like babe how's the kids cool so Tana and her nurse I finally can talk about it it was one of those things where it's like I had permanent anxiety about it you know I don't think it's like that crazy I mean it is crazy but it's not like a horrible thing that happened it's just like it's funny

What was the next day like and have you talked since? We did talk the next day and it was so awkward. I was trying to have the standpoint of like, oh girl, we're just so silly. We're just so crazy, girl. Oh girl, we're just so... You're my homegirl. Because I wanted to try to...

Like keep seeing her. You know what I mean? Like I swear to God, I woke up the next day. Well, I woke up the next day actually and I didn't even know I'd hooked up with her. Like I was just naked. And when I woke up naked and afraid, you know. In bed with her? No, I was naked and alone. And the thing is, is I sleep close to naked, but I know if I wake up naked, naked, like. Something went down. Something went down. And normally I know what went down and I wake up naked, you know, like knowing what went down and it was great. And I woke up, I went downstairs to Isabella, my roommate, and I was like, who did I hook up with?

And she was like, you're going to hate to hear this one. And this has like never happened to me before as well. It was like a big thing in my life where I was like, oh no. And she was like, you hooked up with Stephanie. Let's say her name was Stephanie. And I run through every fucking Stephanie I know. And she was like, nope, nope, nope, nope. And I was like, what?

And it was just so, I just started very much in panic mode. It would be more messed up, honestly, if she was your therapist. Yeah. Right? As of late, I've been looking for a new therapist. And I want a male therapist, but I do not trust myself at all. Why do you want a male therapist? Because I've always had female therapists, and I don't know. No offense, but I'm like, is the female thing stopping you? I guess that's the idea. Yeah.

Sounds like you just... I have to like... Now, it's so bad because I have to like stop myself from my ho tendencies. There was like this YouTuber, TikToker that I was going to film with and Amari was like, why haven't you filmed with him yet? Like yesterday, he was like, you guys would make the funniest content. I was like, I'm not filming with him because I know I'll fuck him. Like sometimes I... Wow. I hate when that happens. At least you're sober. Like, yeah, but I just certain people I can't like allow myself around, you know, because I don't trust myself. Love drunk. But... Do you ever...

allow yourself to film with someone like that or whomever and then it's not required it's unrequited like they don't feel the same way for sure and then are you do you feel rejected or are you just like I don't feel rejected I I think it's a good thing yeah they're like saving you that's the best possible turnout that that could have possibly happened you know that just happened to me I went on Hasan Piker's podcast and I was like he's so hot like maybe he'll fall in love with me and he just like was not in love with me at all and I was like humbling thank god you know but

I mean, I tried to like normalize it. And then I even texted her about a couple like health concerns I had like after that. And I was like, you're just trying to like make sure it's like far down the line. Yeah. Like move on. But I realized I couldn't and now I can't see her. So each is that like urgent care now?

Now I am. I'm serious. But you only feel comfortable sitting here like sexy health concerns. You don't want to be like, I have diarrhea. My boobs are just growing so big. It's like I think I have a yeast infection. Yeah, I have athlete's foot. Like what even happened? Oh my God. It sounds like she kind of got weirded out.

I feel like she probably had way worse anxiety than you because at least you don't have anything to lose and she probably feels it. That is kind of what the conversation was. Perhaps she had some feelings. Yeah. Maybe she got caught up in them feelings. Maybe she always had a crush on you and that's why she kept coming back. We were like weirdly nice to each other and looking back I can see that it maybe could have been a little bit of flirt. It's a mosquito. Don't worry about it. She worries about it. It's okay. It's my biggest fear.

I'm sitting here talking about fucking my nurse and bugs are my biggest fear. Get your priorities in order, girl. Yeah, I don't know. I'm happy you finally told the story, though, because everyone's been on edge. We've teased the story a hundred times. Do you think you'll air it? I'm going to air it. You have to air it. We're not cutting a minute.

Yeah, absolutely not. We can't. Josh Peck is fucking here. He's in the house and it's beautiful. I've got a pretty crazy story. Today, right, at my son's soccer game, we were the snack parents, right? What does that entail? That means that you bring snacks for all the kiddos on the team for the day. Are you guys healthy snack parents or are you like Cheez-Its? No, granola bars.

I mean, but like the crappy, like the Quaker classic, like this is all sugar, but it's delicious. And we thought we forgot the Gatorades, but I actually had them in my trunk. Oh my God. Thank you. Why is that like my dream life? I want that to be my crazy story. I can't fucking wait for that. Like, I really, I just can't wait. Like, what are you guys are trying for another kid? No, no, no, we're not. You're not? You're not? Really? Well, one...

I'm like only one. One years old, yeah. What is it? Are the terrible twos real? No. I think, and I can't stand parents in general. You're like, it's all terrible. No, I can't stand, like every parent's like, terrible twos. Or are they three? Do you have a three-nager? Or like, I'm like, shut your face. I did not sign up to be a parent if I have to look at people like you. Three-nager is crazy. Three-nager, yeah.

What's the most annoying thing your kids do? What's the worst thing they do? The annoyances are like true annoyances. Like they're loud. They talk nonstop. They love talking and making sounds. But like if I get short with him, it's like it's on me. Yeah. Like if I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get to it. We'll get to it. I'm just like, what are you doing? Yeah. What's cool about it is like if you, it was funny on Good Guys on my podcast the other day.

Someone called in and it was this lovely woman. She's like, I'm six months pregnant. My husband's kind of bugging out because he's like, well, what about our life? And like, I'm happy to have a kid, but it's going to change so much. Like, are we going to vacation? Are we going to do this? Like some of the old things. She's like, do you have any advice for him to put him at ease? And I was like, here's the thing. Your life will return to normal and you might be disappointed.

But this span, especially when your kids are young, but this time when your kids are kids, that's like once. Yeah. And it's going to go. So like...

miss a couple brunches. - Yeah. - Like, because you're gonna be heartbroken and it's gonna happen in a blip. - Yeah. - You aren't bringing Gatorade to soccer anymore. - Oh my God. - You're with your friend Rick who works at H&R Block and you guys are talking about the Knicks and it sucks. And you're like, you know, you'll have plenty of time to be your old self but this moment is, it's so special.

I don't know. I'm corny. No, I feel so ready, but I'm not at all. And I know when I have a couple more years. You're not. At all. At all. I say that with love. But it's important. And I don't think anyone should ever be shamed. Like when a 30, someone in their early 30s is like, I don't know.

I don't know if I want to have kids yet. And people are like, well, you better get started. I'm like, shut up. Yeah. I'm like, maybe they will, maybe they won't. But like the right time is the right time. Someone told me that they were like, the clock is ticking. I'm like, I'm 26. Yeah, that is kind of wild. But I just saw a TikTok of someone yesterday talking about how like they, she just had a baby and she was like mourning her old life. And all the comments were like, just wait till they go to school.

And then you have nothing but time. Yeah, that's so true. That's so true. God, I wonder if I'm going to be like this. Unless they're Josh. And then they can't go to school. That is true. Oh, my God. Do your kids know you're famous yet? My son will sometimes just look at me and my four-year-old and go like, Drake and Josh.

Really? What? Really? Even I'm getting it from you now. I'm like, can't you say Oppenheimer? No way. No, I... It's like Megan. He hears it. Like, because he'll just hear people say it, like if they randomly approach me or whatever. So... Do people say crazy fucking shit to you when they randomly approach you? Yeah. Is it always like, hug me, brother? There's some catchphrases. I almost said it. I'm not going to lie. I...

Brooke, it would be okay. You're allowed. It was Trump. I know you were so much more than that. Like now, like you are just the Josh I know and love, but it's obviously we've talked about the like frustrations of...

People just always knowing you for bullet points of your career and shit like that. Yeah, I always tell my son, because there are some weird moments or I'll feel bad if like, I remember for a while I would say no to pictures if I was with him because I didn't want him to feel like I was taking time away from him. I'd be like, sorry, I just don't want to take a photo when I'm with my family, but it's really nice to meet you. And then he looked at me one day and was like, why do you want to take a photo because of me?

And I was like, oh man, I'm like, I'm going to fuck you up. That's the sad part too. When you realize no matter how good of a parent you are, your kids are going to have something wrong with them. Oh my God. That's, that was like, that's going to plague me.

For sure I'm like The only thing I think That could be really wrong Is your kid not being funny But I feel like If you're funny Your kid would be funny I feel like I'm gonna be so bad about that Like wanting to instill My sense of humor Onto my child Yeah I almost feel like You have to like Bully them a little Carefully choose Their trauma Cause like trauma Breeds like funny people And so it's like But what kind of trauma Do you choose Like you could get Like a light divorce Or like

Yeah, yeah. What should I do? You know what I mean? Like something subtle, but like, that does the job. How did you know that... Just break my sobriety a little. Just a little bit. Just a little, like a small 2CB. Yeah. Oh my God. You gotta try it. How did you know that your wife was the person you wanted to have kids with? Oh boy. It's such a great question. I guess the question is like first, how did I know that I wanted to marry her? Yeah. I bought the ring for her like...

September and I held it for like six months really that's the kind of person I am yeah like so nosy I would have found it I kept it in my mom's oh genius she I let there were so many instances that helped me out completely like my big brother I remember when I was gonna get married I wanted to propose to my wife Paige I was like what should I do like you know do you have a diamond guy like everybody's got a fucking diamond

Well, yeah. Why does everyone have a guy? Everyone does. So true. I love having a guy. She has a diamond guy. I do have a diamond guy. I'm sure he's charging you retail. Maybe. I don't know. Probably. We want a good deal. The pop tag in exchange for the asshole douchebag jewelry. So good. You know. And it's always how it goes. But I hit on my brother, my big brother, and I was like, what should I do? And he was like, call your mother and let her in on this. Because if you, like once you propose...

her family's gonna take over, right? Her mother's gonna be planning the wedding. Like, you're the dude, you're the groom. Like, your mom's not gonna have really a part in it. It's like, let her be part of the ring. It'll mean so much to her. So I call my, you know, fabulous Jewish mother and I'm like, Ma, I wanna propose to Paige. What do you think? Like, here's kind of what I'm thinking for the ring. She goes, I'll call you in an hour. And so... Love. She calls me back in an hour and she goes...

There's a rendering in your email I've sent you like a Photoshopped image. It's ready to be produced in New Jersey My diamond guy says it'll be ready in eight days No way and it was perfect and so I got it It was sent to her and I just because I knew I wanted to get married, but I just didn't know when yeah and I

I remember I was sitting down with a friend of mine who's like, marriage, I really look up to her marriage. They're just cool and they have cool kids and they're not annoying. And I was like, how did you know that you were ready to get married? And she's like, well, here's the thing about Paige. When good things happen, is she the first person you want to call? And I said, yeah. And she said, and when bad things happen, is she the first person you want to call? And I said, yeah. And she goes, she make you laugh? And I go, yeah. She goes, what else is there to know? And I was like, I'm doing it.

I'm breaking up with every single one of my boyfriends. I was just going to say, we've got to drop them. Oh, my God. I'm not kidding. That sentence just got like three men's heartbroken tonight. I'm not kidding. Not the 21-year-old. Tell me. Get another jet ride out of him. I know. I know. I should probably figure that out. How old were you guys when you got married? I was 20. We...

20, no. I know, like shit. 28? 28 or 29 and she was like 25 or 26. Okay. The crazy shit was, no comparisons here, no comparisons, but the crazy shit was, you know, she lived at home and she has like a bunch of siblings and she has like, I love her dad and he used to play in the NFL and he's like a total dick.

man yeah it's just oh man his name's ken yeah mojo dojo casa house ken you wouldn't oppenheimer you wouldn't yep anyway but i get what you're saying yeah it's not like some like weak ass name like josh i feel like josh is typically a douchebag name is it yeah yeah you're like the you're the anomaly back to the marriage thing really quickly i've been have you guys seen love is blind

Have you ever watched the show Love is Blind? I know the premise. I haven't really seen it. You run, don't walk, to watch this show. I am a... So it all started, my obsession with Love is Blind, because I somehow found myself slightly dating someone who had been on Love is Blind. And he got left at the altar. And I need to go back and watch his season and really find out. But the premise of the show is...

It's a dating show where all of these people come in and in order to be on the show, you have to be ready for marriage and you want that life. You want to get married and you want to find love. A lot of the people have had a lot of trouble finding love and they put all these people in these pods, right? Mm-hmm.

And you're in this pod and you're alone in the pod and through the wall is someone else alone in their pod and you just start talking and you're going on dates with all these people but you don't see them and you have no idea what they look like and you get to know them and the goal is by the end of the experiment, someone proposes and then you see each other for the first time engaged like...

You know what I mean? After all of the talking. And then they date in real life and they see if it works, if love really is blind, if you can fall in love with someone without ever seeing them. And then they go to the altar and at the altar, they say, in front of all their friends and family, they're in a wedding dress, they're in a tuxedo, they decide at the altar, like, do I want to be with you or do I not want to be with you? Oh, I couldn't handle that. I don't want to get left at the altar. I just watched an episode last night where the girl left him at the altar and it was...

The hardest thing See I would marry him out of Like I would just I couldn't do it I could not leave somebody at the altar Yeah like I was saying that Divorce is easier than that I fully agree Like I would Enjoy the party Have the hors d'oeuvres And just don't do that Yeah Go on the honeymoon And like three months later Yeah But it's the craziest fucking show I've ever seen And it's like You should go on it It really I would love to go on it Well you have such a recognizable voice Everyone would know And it's I think it'd be hard Because I would start explaining my life And they'd be like Wait what You know what I mean

You could just lie. Well, I guess no, you can't. I mean, that's what I was thinking. It's not sustainable. You know what I mean? But it's crazy because it's like it's not really that blind. Like a lot of the people like they see each other and their reactions are like so poor. Oh my God. That's so sad. Who came up with that? That's like a really horrible thing to do to somebody. There was a guy who they come out and to the girl he's like, you wear way too much makeup. And they get in this hole. Okay, but I'd rather that than like you're fugly.

Yeah, but like how crazy is that? It's like you fell in love with this person based off of all these things that are non-aesthetic related and then come to find out he's kind of a piece of shit. Yeah, what a fucking loser. Yeah, like no, he was such an asshole to her. It was insane. I stopped dating a girl because of her perfume. Really? Too strong. I was getting asthma attacks.

That's definitely me. That would have helped you in your jaywalking situation. It was a lot. That's definitely something that would happen to me. I love a perfume shower. You couldn't tell her? No. What was the... Do we know the perfume? It was... It's like top five. It's like a very... I just feel like... I don't even know the name, but I feel like I just smell it on people a lot. And it's fine. It's lovely if you're walking by someone, if you're perusing Macy's, if you're in your local Sephora. But like...

being locked in a car. I live locked in. I would suggest local restaurants because I'd be like, I can't. You'd rather smell the Bucca di Beppo than her. No, because you couldn't be in the car with her for that long. Or a P.F. Jings. Yeah, I was just like, we can't go to Malibu. That's not.

I'm going to be hitting my inhaler like a vape in here. Oh my God. That's crazy. I'm trying to air her out. Like stand in front of this fan. What's your favorite chain restaurant? Speaking of PF chains. What a great subject. Thank you. I have to know. I mean, okay. I'm like, I'm an Applebee's gal. Um,

The dollar They just brought them back The dollar margaritas They just brought them back We won't be partaking Yeah Oh yeah Gosh I will never Maybe you Yeah Who knows Maybe Down the line That's my That's my like relapse Imagine That's the first time One of those will put you in the hospital They're like radioactive They really are

What's in a dollar margarita? I always like, people always say like, so never? And I'm like, well, I don't know if you like die, if you get a gold star for dying sober. Yeah. If I knew I had like two days left, like would I go like, you know, get some Vicodin and go to White Castle? For sure. Yeah. Like, yeah. Absolutely. Just see what happens. Oh, I've always said that like when I hit like, if I hit like 75, like what's the point of not?

Like you've lived your whole life. I guess so. I don't know. I saw a lady who's like 104 and she was like, I drink a bottle of wine every day. Yeah. Like what is that? It's constitution. It's genetics. And at that point you can't, they shouldn't stop. Cause

Because you don't shock their system. Yeah. Like, if you're in your 80s and you've been smoking your whole life, keep it up. Yeah. Surgeon General Josh Peck is here to tell you. You've been smoking up. I mean, I just think at that point, it's just like, somehow you... I'm going to keep hitting the vape in honor of that and just hope that that happens to me. So, you seem very... Do you live a life like Tana? Do you live it up? I think more so than people think.

Okay. I feel like... You're not just a nurse from Tucson. Yeah, no. I drink a lot. I dabble here and there. But I don't really have dependency issues. Yeah, you don't have any dependencies. I think that's just the difference is I go very, very hard. Why do you think that is? I've been trying to figure that out. I'm like...

My goal, even right now, like I've done a lot of times like where I just take a break from drinking and then I go back and it's I do it for, you know, clarity and I don't want to work hungover and so on and so forth. And I would love to find a balance where I, you know, because I feel like I'm one or the other. Like I'm drinking and I'm I'm never going to have like one drink. Like I just I love balance.

Once I start drinking I want to be drunk I want to party I want to be crazy I want to have fun I would love to find the moderation And it's like I don't know what it is Like I don't have that Yeah but it's so common Like after you have four drinks You could go home

You could stop. Yeah, because it's not like I just don't like it that much. I do it and it's like fun, but it's like, I don't know. I'm not. Did you feel that way? Like, did you struggle with moderation? Yeah. Yeah. So many people do. I mean, I feel like it just comes down to like being an addictive personality or not. Do you feel like you have an addictive personality? Yeah. Yeah. I'm sober. Yeah. What are you? Do you have any addictions now? Um, no. I mean, they're good addictions. I try to like...

um, workout. Yeah. Like caffeine, nicotine, nothing. I'm trying to find one of those. Yeah. I drink two, two or three energy drinks. I am. I'm always ingesting nicotine in some form. Like I'm either like doing lozenges or like, yeah, I'm, I'm, you know, Leonard Zinner. Oh, are you in the lip? My guy, what are they? Three? Oh, six or nine.

I've actually been debating picking that up. No. Because, okay. Sorry. I'm not going to do you. Because I think this is my problem. Like, I love this flavor and I love smoking. Like, I've always just been like a smoker, whether it's weed, like anything. I love the action of smoking. So, like, I'm debating on if I, like, started to pack a lip.

Right. If I would like be able to quit, you know? Well, like I think we talked about it on my pod that like vaping is, is,

It's kind of like masturbating. I'm doing it right now. A cigarette, a cigar, it's like hooking up. It's an event. I got to go outside. I got to take some time. Cigars hooking up with a person you actually like. Cigar with someone you hate. I don't smoke cigars. Either way, it takes time and planning. But like...

Vaping is just like, I got to get this out of me. You know what I mean? Vaping is the equivalent to jacking off. Yeah. It really is. It's just, it's not cute. You're ashamed of it. Yes. It's all of that. I really, so yeah, I might start packing my lip and become that bitch. I don't know if that makes it better. Do you spit or do you swallow with the Zim? There's no, you don't spit. Like there's no, there's none of that. It just chills. It just chills there. Yeah. How interesting. Like the salt just empowers.

Really? It's like Nicorette gum, but in a different form. I think I'm going to try it and see if it can help me quit. I feel like it's not the time to try anything new.

That's true. That is one thing. Something you know is addictive. We have a big tour ahead of us. Funny concept though, like knowing something's addicting and wanting to try it for the first time. Well, I'm trying to get off this and maybe have that be like a weaning sitch, but I have noticed that since I've stopped drinking, like...

My addictions to Like you know what I mean You replace one addiction With another It's very easy to Yeah Fall into that I wish I was someone Who was like a runner Like I got addicted To like the running high I know Or something like that It would be everything I've been trying To get addicted to the gym And it's just like I can never be that person Like it don't But you guys You guys are fit

Fit like and it's just natural Like you just don't have to worry about it And there's no Jimmy I have to worry about it I really am worried about it Yeah I have to worry about it like all the time Like if I ate how I wanted to eat You'd have to roll me into this podcast room How great would that be though I know I was just thinking that today I was like fuck it we ordered a Jersey Mike's club sub I got the giant size And I was like what if I just finish this right here right now You know and it's like fuck

Wash it down with a high C. I definitely have to like work out and like be mindful of what I eat to like stay looking the way I want, which I hate. I just, I'll never, the serotonin from the gym, even if I do get it, like while I'm on the treadmill, like there'll be those like three minutes where I'm like, this is runner's high. I feel great. Getting back the next day is still so hard. But yeah, that's the problem. It's like actually the physical act of getting there. Like I can't do it. I feel like there's like,

I'm tied to my couch. You work out? Yeah, I'm running for myself. Yeah, me too. I'm just calming down the voices. It's literally the same. But how did you get into it, though? It's like, I want to be into it, but I'm not. The only thing that works... The voices suck. Jerry Seinfeld has this great quote, like, find the torture in life that you can live with, and you'll have a great life. Yeah. And like, working out's torture.

Relationships are torture. Like, I mean, it's hyperbolic. But, you know, because it's fucking work. It is. But it sure is interesting. Yeah. Kids are hard, but it's rewarding. Working hard sucks. But at the end, like, so you have to find the torture you're comfortable with.

For sure. The only thing that motivates me to work out is anger. And I've noticed that it's... Yeah, or like revenge. No, it all is. And when I look back at my life, the most fit I was was the angriest I was. Like breakup-wise. I had just left my manager and I hated him so much. So I was running just every day with this...

in front of me, you know? And now when I go, I'm not really angry at anything, but I purposefully, I put myself in 2020. I put myself in the angriest I ever was. Oh, that's smart. No, but it's so mentally unhealthy. It is. I think all the time. I'm like, one more breakup and I'll have my...

ideal body. Yeah, or a stomach flu. No, it's... Oh, my God. One good tapeworm. Literally. I was just... Trevi just got dental surgery and I was telling her that is my favorite, like, cleanse. That's when I knew I was, like, a little off. Like, my sister had her mouth wired shut and I was jealous of her. Oh, for sure. I, like...

I just wrote down in like for this week's podcast topics for us before I knew if Josh could make it like just random stuff was I wanted to like because I was high the other night and I was super thinking about it like the body dysmorphia in LA is the craziest thing

I was like overhearing a conversation the other day between a couple people like in the industry and I was just listening and it was what kind of like evoked this thought for me. But it was essentially someone being like, yeah, I haven't really eaten today. And like someone else being like, oh my God, slay. Mazel. Yeah. It's like celebrated. Like if I go out anywhere in Hollywood, like anytime, like,

You could be going Through the worst time Of your life And lose a bunch of weight And it's so crazy In Hollywood Everywhere you go Everyone is like Congratulating you But do you think It's specific to Hollywood Because like I was actually Just talking about this On Trisha's podcast yesterday But I Like I was in a sorority And I was a dancer So that was like Such a part of it Really That I got here And I was like Oh my god No one even cares That's Yeah no Like it's like To me I've found that Like it's I see it so much less Now in my life Than I did Like growing up I see it so much more

Like everyone I know It's like when they Walk past a mirror Like they're checking Their body You know what I mean Just everything You know Just going to dinner It's like the person Getting the pasta Is gonna be like I'm treating myself tonight Like they have to Let everyone know I hate it I'm like why did you say that Yeah Or like I can't eat that And I have like

Or like I don't want to hear about your new diet Just do it I don't 100% I don't want to hear I used to have a rule like that Like I would not let my friends Even talk about it around me Because I'm like I don't want to hear it At all Because it's always the girl Who's like skinnier than you That's like oh my god I can't have that It's like why

why would you say that? - Yeah. - Yeah. - But I also think like, and this is the craziest thing, first of all, I think everybody trips out about it. What was fascinating to me was like, to meet people who never had an issue with food or like, always had, you know, were naturally beautiful and perfect bodies and how much they thought about food every day. - Yeah.

This is a crazy thing. We all talk about Instagram and social media and how compare and despair. You look at these supermodels, you look at these crazy fit CrossFit guys and you think to yourself, I'll never be that. I think what's even worse is when you're bored and you're looking at your own page and you see a photo of yourself from nine months ago that you forget you were dimming the lights and you had just recovered from a stomach flu and you took the perfect...

Yes. You had like a three pack. Yeah. And you looked great. And like, but now nine months later, you forgot that. And all you're doing now, you're comparing yourself against where you were. Oh my God. I am like horrible about that. Like I look at my like old photos of myself and it's like at the time I thought I looked horrible. That's the joke. And then it's like the whole time you feel that way. I look back at like photos of me four months ago, five months ago, and I was so miserable and sad, but I'm like, I looked amazing. Why were you miserable and sad? I don't know.

bad breakup like the dead family but still it's just so stupid like i don't know i wish i could just never think about it ever again i know i just i've i like recently i've been realizing how much i think about just the way i look at all times and there's and there are people who just don't think about that i know imagine i'm so jealous like and i've just always been this way i don't know how many i remember once i asked him i shrink this i was like are there people who are

- People who are just happy, I'm like, not that you meet them because you're in here with sick fucks like me all day, but do you ever, and he's like, yeah, there's some. There's some people that aren't contemplating their role in the universe or wondering if their dead relatives are proud of them. - Yeah, oh yeah. - They're just like, I'm not gonna do roast beef or turkey for lunch. - I always talk about that. - Simple minded, just regular. - So do you think ignorance is bliss? Do you think that's what it is?

Because I think that a big part of my mental demise is crippling self-awareness. Or is it crippling self-centeredness? And I say that with love because that's my issue. Explain. Explain.

I think that with the advent of the agricultural revolution that happened in the mid-1800s, we have so much fucking time on our hands that life expectancy has shot up that we're not worried about staying warm. I can't speak for everyone, but many people in this country know that for better or for worse, their food is secure and that they're going to be able to have just a very basic...

requirement for living. Their needs will be met. So they have so much more time to be self-centered. To contemplate their... I mean, modern psychology, right? Like Carl Jung, who was one of the forefathers, Freud, which is a common name. This all popped up in the last hundred years, and I don't think it's a coincidence. I think it's because the need became very necessary, because in the last hundred years, we've had so much time to think about it.

ourselves. And it's so crazy like a hundred years ago no one was thinking about their like ass to waist ratio. Yeah it was like they were thinking your energy outward and now it's like beans. Why is that what I think they were thinking? Beans? Lentils. What do you think? Where do you find beans? How good is like Italian like wedding soup? Oh my god. Pasta for Jules. Oh my god. Everything. You know Olive Garden's little deal right now I need to get over there.

All the like fucking I can't even While you were just explaining that to me It sparked a thought in my head That I would love for you to explain something to me That I do not understand That I just have a hunch You would be good at putting into layman's terms for me right now And I mean explain this to me like I'm like I'm the dumbest bitch you've ever met Which will be easy for you Don't worry

I don't understand the Roman Empire. Oh my God, yay! The sad chuckle. I don't. I think about it as much as all men do. I'm thinking about it now. Me too. But I, what don't you understand? What happened? She said, what's a Roman the other day. What happened? Oh man, I'm just going to get so fact-checked on this. I'm like, I can hear the comments in my head right now. There have been empires throughout time. Which are?

Greeks, the Romans, the Byzantines, the Ottoman Empire. See, that was already way more empires than I was going to ever be able to name. Okay. And the empire is a big fight? In theory, you could say like Western civilization is an empire. Okay. So we've created... I was so stupid. It's sad. Continue. You're not. Continue.

No, but just like, there's the Western, this is very American, but like suburban sprawl or like the way we approach education or the nuclear family, like the way we set up families, the way we live our daily lives has become like predominant in most of America.

not most of the world, but the United States, Canada, most of Europe. Like it's just, it looks similar in the way of life. And then there's different civilizations. But at that time, like of recorded history, like those were the major civilizations. And they were the ones who were making like scientific breakthroughs, governmental breakthroughs. Like the Greeks invented like

basically, right? And like a way of ruling things. I don't know. Yo, check me. I was a kid actor. I've had no education. I got my GED from a guy named Ron in Silver Lake. Feel free to come after him if you're... But to the Roman Empire, Caesar...

We've heard of that. Yeah. Like the salad. Yeah. Yeah. And Chauvies. Caesar led the Roman Empire. But then Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor. There were many Roman emperors, but Caesar gets the Brutus killed. Have you seen Emperor's New Groove? Yes. Pull the lever, Kronk. You know that's David Spade saying that? No, he's Cusco, right? Yeah.

Wait. I haven't seen it. He was Nickelodeon, so. Oh, yeah. Sorry. You know what I mean? I really think I just need an episode of the Kardashians where, like, Khloe and Kim and Kourtney, like, cosplay the Roman Empire, but in their day-to-day lives, like, they're shaking the salad, and that's, like, equivalent to, like, when the Romans, like, got their...

Yeah, I do. I understand that. And then I would just totally get it. The silence was deafening. Important to note is that most guys who are saying that they're thinking about the Roman Empire also don't know what the Roman Empire is. They're all thinking about, I said that, the movie Gladiator, and they don't actually really know what it's about. Just like we don't. That's what it's exaggerating. No one's thinking about it, Dale.

I just don't, and don't you hate, like, there's such guy things like the Roman Empire, like quoting Gladiator, like guys walking around the room like, are you not entertained? Which is the famous line from the movie. Or doing like the Matthew McConaughey wolf of, I'm just like, it's so fucking, it's too much. Yeah, girls are just as bad. I mean, I've,

entered my era of empathy for men. I've just hated men my whole life. Why is that? I don't know. They're just the worst. I guess, yeah, my dad was awful, but then just beyond just the guys I date, which obviously I guess you could say like my dad was awful and then that made me awful and attract awful men and whatever. But just overall, man, I've just always been like men are cheaters, men are liars. And it's like, look in the mirror, Tana. But

I never met my dad, so I get it. Oh, yeah. We talked about that. You never met him. Yeah, and he died before. I made this joke before, but he died before I had a chance to meet him. So, like, perfect record. He won. Yeah. You and I have always talked about that, though, because... He was like on the... No, just like when he said his mind to something, he sucked to it. You know, like, I'll never meet you. Yeah, he nailed it. He won. He really... Gold star for that. I'm serious, you know? That's called the bright side, friends. Yeah.

But I think... But I think it's... I think I've always connected with you on that because it's like you had to normalize the fact, you know, like you probably got so sick of people being like, well, one day maybe you'll meet him and maybe he's a good guy. I knew a lot about him and what I see in hindsight is that

My mom did an incredible job. When I talk about my big brother, he's a proper big brother from the Big Brothers Foundation, but I've had him since I was eight. Yeah. Wait, explain. What? You know the Big Brothers Foundation? No. Did you ever see the movie Role Models? No. It's basically for kids with one parent. You either get a big brother or a big sister, and it's completely like people donate their time, and...

This was, there was this guy, Dan, my big brother, who I got matched with and there's a foundation and they do like months of vetting and background checks and training to like make sure this person's like of value. Yeah. And then you meet them and if you guys hit it off, bless you. Thank you.

They become your person and basically you just do fun shit twice a month. Really? Every other Sunday we'd go. And so you still have your big brother? Not only do I have my big brother, he was my best man at my wedding. That is so sweet. The goosebumps are... So how old were you when he started being your big brother?

How exciting. So what was he? Now it's even crazier to think about it because then I just saw, you know, he's a stockbroker. I'm like, you're a grown ass man. 24. And he would just take you places and you guys would do stuff. We'd go bowling.

Or we'd go to the movies. - What else? Oh my God, imagine how fun that is. He did it out of the kindness of his heart and then it just ended up being Josh Peck. - Bonus, right? - I didn't even think about it like that. - So would he ever come to set? - You know Big Brothers wanted, one of the Big Brothers chapters wanted to do press with my big brother and I and they approached him about it and he's like, "No fucking way."

He's like, it's not about that. Oh, that's so sweet. This story is literally making me want to cry right now. I'm actually not even joking. I'm fighting tears. That is like...

That's so fucking sweet. And so he was just always there for you your whole life? Like if you had any problems, you'd go to him and you'd call him? Yeah, I mean, even just like brothers, like when I was like a teenager, like we kind of like fell out for a couple, like for a little bit of time just because I was like, man, like, and we really grew together like brothers. And then, but he's been consistent in my life, like,

He has obviously two kids and a wife now and I'm in their life and he's in my kid's life. He's Uncle Dan.

How cool. Do they still do that? Yeah, yeah. No, it's totally a thing. I want to be. I'm like, am I too old? That's great. Oh, I wanted one. I didn't want to be one. I wanted one. You want one now? Yeah. I don't want to be one. That'd be so fun, but I'm just imagining. It's kind of fun. It's like a sponsor, but like for your kid. What celebrity would you have be your big sister now? I asked both of you if you could pick anyone. Adam Sandler, but he's not a sister. He's not a sister. Have you ever met Adam Sandler? Yeah. Yeah.

You give me major would-be friends with Adam Sandler vibes. What was your interactions with him like? I'm obsessed with Adam Sandler. I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I'm obsessed. Is it just because he's America's dad? Maybe that is why.

Maybe that is why. But I'm also like kind of in love with him. I get that. You know? I saw him once. His company, Happy Madison, is at Sony. I'm a lot at Sony. And they built him a basketball court next to it because he's such a big basketball player. This is the coolest information I've ever received in my entire fucking life. I'm trying so hard to play it cool. Keep going. He walks out in like his total garb like over like way too big basketball shorts and

like not cool Jordans like Reebok lace-ups full beard hair a mess and you know and I just I'm like just walking by him and I'm just like hey man and he's like oh I hate it no no like what's going on there but um no

He's just like, hey man. And I've seen him like at the Brentwood Country Mart. Like we've just like had a nice exchange. And it's just like, hey, how are you? And I don't mean, and I know this will get picked up by the press, but he had a big iced coffee and it was light. He likes cream in his coffee. Oh my God. I would never expect that from him at all. Ever. I would expect him to drink black coffee. I know. I couldn't believe it either. Well,

either. Maybe he was getting it for someone. I don't want to start a beef. Yeah, that's true. No beef with Adam Sandler over here. I'm serious. He could kill my family and I would thank him. What about a big sister? A big sister? Maybe like Miley Cyrus? It can be anything though. Oh, she'd be so good. Michelle Obama. That would be the best.

best I'm obsessed have you met the Obamas no I'd love to have you met now I just want to that's my new niche on cancel this one I have on people who are more in the traditional media side just asking there we just had Jojo Siwa on and we were asking her about her interactions with like the craziest celebrity stories you would not believe oh I can't even imagine yeah she was telling us about her like psycho Elton John experience like all this different stuff I'm trying to think is it because Elton John's kids are into her does he have young kids or were they just like was Elton like I think she was selling out arenas and Elton was like impressed

Oh, jeez. Yeah, which is kind of crazy. Who do I want to know about you ever having an interaction with? I went to JoJo Siwa's once because we were shooting a video and she was showing me all of her, like, she had this room dedicated to all of her merch. And she's always been incredibly lovely and nice. So she was showing me the room and all this other merch and she's like, yeah, I'm...

My stuff is sold in six out of the seven continents because there's no Walmart in Antarctica. I was like, you're my hero. She's so rich. She's so fucking rich. She is. When we found out the amount of like SKUs she had, we were so like...

I think I worked twice as hard that week. Like, I was just like, I couldn't believe how rich she was. It was so motivating. But it's insane. Like, they have JoJo Siwa blenders. They have JoJo Siwa vacuum cleaners. She's very nice. She is so, so, so... She's like a ball of, like, sweet energy, which is good. She's in a lot of drama right now, so people are probably going to hate that I said that, but... Oh, really? Yeah, she's...

It's Team Trisha Paytas against Team JoJo Siwa, Colleen Ballinger. Which is such an interesting thing to say out loud. I know. It's... Imagine explaining that to a Victorian child. Honestly, I want Trisha Paytas as my big sister. Absolutely. I would do anything. I feel like she is that vibe. She is my big sister, honestly. Have you met Trisha? Yeah, of course. Yeah, well, maybe in the David Dobrik days, though, huh? Yeah, but I also kind of give her credit for... We made a video together. I remember I was...

I'd spent like a year on YouTube trying to make vlogs and they did terribly. You made great... I watched your vlogs. I appreciate it. I was in your vlogs. I had fun. I wasn't comfortable. Yeah. You know, like, because I was never going to be like the guy at LAX talking to his big camera being like, what's up, Peck Nation? Yeah, me. What's up, Wolf Peck? And...

And I remember my buddy Joe at the time was like, "Yo, you've spent your whole life being in front of the camera. "Why don't you just worry about what you're good at? "Try to be funny and figure out what you wanna do. "Be yourself," which is what my wife's been telling me for my entire life.

And he's like, and I'll worry about holding the camera and lighting. And so mukbangs were big at the time. And so I remember I just was like, I'll do a mukbang. And I'll talk shit and eat. And I'm a former thick boy, so it'll feel real. People won't be like, oh, you don't eat like this.

this yeah so I got like you know wing stop or something and I called Trisha who I I knew a little bit and I was like Trisha like I got a duffel bag full of buffalo wings like do you want to just like eat them and talk shit for the next hour yeah like I'm 15 minutes away

That's so f***ing amazing. And that video, I'm sure thanks to her, but like Crush, and I was like, oh, this is my lane. Your niche. So Trisha Paytas kind of started the lane for that. You should go on her podcast like now. It's so amazing. I went on it yesterday. I'm so, she is like the easiest person in the world to talk to. What did you guys talk about? Everything. We talked for three hours. I was like, I never wanted to leave. I'm obsessed with her.

Well, I'm excited to tune into that episode. She's one of those who like, like I was telling her, I feel like she reminds me of Theo Vaughn in that like, she's, it's like kind of a dumb act, but it's like, you have to be so smart to execute it. Yeah. Like I use the example of that clip, you know, where she says like, or like, what's the thinnest layer of the earth? Yeah. Do you know the clip? They say like, what's the thinnest layer of the earth? And she said, uh, the thinnest layer of the earth. And they go, yeah. And she goes, oh, I got a point. Like they say, correct. She got it right. You'd have to see it, but like,

It was so quick and so funny and like, but it seemed like she was just dumb. I don't know how to explain it, but like. No, 100%. I think people who have mastered that person. She's so much smarter than people think. I always try to say that's what I'm doing, but in reality, I'm just fucking dumb. And it's on camera. But that's not true. At all? Sometimes I'm surprised when I realize how young you are. Like, just because obviously you have an old soul and like just how successful you are. Like, I think it's, I mean, maybe.

maybe you don't know everything about the Roman Empire, but clearly you guys are very smart. I appreciate the compliment. The things that matter. You're one of those people where it's just like I grew up watching you. I've always been. I'll never forget the first YouTube video we ever filmed together. This was at the time of Collapse, right? And all the Collapse were very silly. You know what I mean? It was like, okay, let's do a mukbang. Let's do a...

You know Dressing each other For the day Let's do just something silly It was like silly YouTube collab era And We were doing something For your channel And then I had to decide What I was doing For my channel And I was like Josh this is gonna sound So fucking weird And I don't make videos Like this at all But I just want you To come sit on my couch For an hour And I want to be a fan And I want to ask you Everything I've ever Wanted to know And that was like What we did I just like Grilled you And you let me Which was so crazy You gave me The ultimate fan experience And I'm like Me right now I'm like a make a wish child I'm like easy

now that you got me who are we moving on to that's it oh come on that was it I that's the only thing I asked her for I go please surprise me with Josh Peck I'm like she doesn't have to get me a birthday present like she's set yeah I really just had you here so that like I this was my token thing I did for Brooke and I really had no I like I I saw you and I looked at you for like I feel like five minutes before I even noticed

I know. I mean, well, you were on to me today, though, seriously. And I get. Well, did you see me like kind of looking at you funny? I was going to make. Yes. And I was trying so hard not to look at you back. I was going to make fun of you because I was like, you love Ryan. Because I thought Ryan was coming and she was getting so like worked up. Which I normally would. Everyone thinks I have a crush on this guy. And it's like a whole thing. I don't know what I had for like five minutes. I'm speculating with the fan. Give the people. Where are men fucking up right now?

To be honest with you, it's not that men are fucking up. It's that I've just really had trouble connecting with someone as of late. Like I've been enjoying dates and enjoying people's presence and enjoying people for who they are. But I feel like my love language has always been one of two things. And I feel like I'm only ever going to fall for someone if I feel like they are.

understand me and maybe whether that's understand my lifestyle or understand who I am as a person and I recognize that I'm not necessarily the easiest case to crack so it's hard to find someone who I feel like really gets me and gets and just beyond that like gets my humor and like is I find them genuinely funny and like we have the same sense of humor like I just haven't ran into that

In a minute. I feel like I've only ever had that connection a couple times in my life, but I'm in a dry spell. With what, kind of how big your life is, do you think it might require someone who's like down to come along for the ride? And maybe it's like a great support of you and maybe doesn't have like a big career? Yes, but then that's hard because I feel like I'm really attracted to drive and I'm really attracted to someone who is successful and passionate about what they do. It's hard for me to be like, oh, you don't,

Because in my life, like that's what controls my life is like my passion for what I do and how much I love it and how much it, you know, consumes me and consumes everything I do. And I feel like I also would need that in someone else like someone else.

You know? Yeah. Who's driven towards what they do and loves what they do. So I don't think I could have like a groupie, essentially, either. It's hard. That balance is hard. Because your life is demanding. Yeah. My life's demanding. Yeah. Like, it...

Especially when you have kids and stuff, even if you had the perfect McSteamy, some badass orthopedic surgeon replacing knees, elbows. I don't think you can do that. She knows. She used to be a nurse. And making 1.5 a year, crushing, great benefits, plays golf.

Yeah, but then they're going to hate what I do, I think, for the most part. And they're never going to be around. Yeah. Because you're going to be traveling and they'll be doing their thing and it's a hard balance. And it's a hard balance to find. Yeah. But for you, perfect person? I don't know. Someone on a boat? Someone on a boat. Maybe a boat and a bike? Boat is definitely important. House is also important. I don't know. What are your like...

Like I just said, mine's like understanding and like comedy, I guess, for me. It's like what really makes you fall for someone. Like, what is that for you? I get you. I mean, same thing. Being funny. I would never date somebody who's not funny. But I also have like way less in the standards department. Not to say I don't have standards, but like I...

What they do is really not important at all. I feel like I would... I agree as well. Like, I'm not sitting here like, I need a... I know, but I guess it just... I should say it doesn't, like... I don't have to worry about that as much because my life is not like hers at all. Really. I guess that's... Yeah. But it's exciting and different and busy and... Yeah, and it's fun. And I like...

Yeah I don't know I feel like I wouldn't mind having somebody with a big career Because it's like fun and exciting But I also It's not like big career Like it's I you know I guess it's just like I want them to have something I've had so many men that I feel like were like Maybe losers in a lot of regards Maybe losers So that you know No I'm not though I don't know

I'm just striking out right now. Maybe that's my problem is I don't know what I'm looking for. You asked me that and I'm like, hmm, I got nothing. Yeah. But that's nice too though because you have an open mind to everyone you date. I feel like I sit down with someone and within the first 30 minutes, I know, you know, this is going to be me making myself. Maybe you're ruling them out too fast. That's true. I don't know. I'm just, I don't want to be in the position where I feel like I have to make myself like someone. And that's like where...

I've been feeling lately. It's hard. I don't think you ever know. And that's where you have to experience things. And I think that's like the worst when I see people who are like, I'm 30. It's time. Like, and I'm like, good luck. I'm like, cause I don't think it works like that. And so I think like all your bad relationships are R and D to figuring out what you want, but, or like what's right. You have to figure out what you don't like first. The problem is, is like, if you don't learn from those situations and you just keep dating those

those bad dudes. Yeah, that's true. And I'm trying to learn. That's the issue is I could just go back to my like old ways. Yeah. I'm a pattern repeater. I'll, I'll date the same like shitty guy over and over again in different fonts and different people. Yeah. Yeah. I mean like I met my wife on Halloween like 12 years ago. Really? This Halloween will be 12 years.

years ago and like oh god what does that mean you like sorry I'm old I was 24 when you met she was 20 okay so that's yeah and what tell me about this like how'd you guys meet what were you dressed up as I was dressed up as a waiter because I'm vain and I wanted to be handsome and she was dressed up like Olivia Newton-John from Grease so she's vain I'm like oh you went with the hot girl outfit

and we she said we didn't make eye contact throughout the party I felt like we made eye contact quite a few times yeah and luckily God bless her friend Ani who kind of did did like the alley-oop like yeah she came over and she was like oh hi and we were like chatting for a second she said you should meet my friend Paige and then we started dating I took her to

Twilight, I think we went to go watch Twilight. Yeah. Like, cause that was like my go-to. I'm like, it's a great date movie. Yeah. Even though babe, you're special. Like I only took you to that movie. I swear to God. Oh. Cause like, it's like, you need, it's a movie that you can kind of like make fun of and like kind of. And like, you know, you could like, if you missed a few minutes, it's okay. Yeah. You could definitely hit a little make out during Twilight. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like turned on by Taylor Lautner. So I'm like, I want to make a move. I was always Edward.

I got that. Really? Well, yeah, I guess I was too. Because I love the dying men. I still, that's like, oh my God, be so pale and skinny and dying. I love it. Both those boys really did well. They did right by us. They did. I've heard some funny stories about Taylor Lautner though in the dating scene.

He's married now, right? Yeah, he's married now. To someone named Taylor, right? Yeah, Taylor and Taylor, they have a podcast too. It does really well. Really? And he's everywhere Taylor Swift is still and I love that. I think it's so cute. He supports her so much. Oh, he dated her. Oh, another Taylor. Yeah. He's back to December. It's about him? Mm-hmm.

Wow, I need to go stream that. And he was on stage with her when Kanye took the mic. He was? Yeah, because he had presented her award. He was on stage. No way. And every day he says he regrets not having taken the mic away from Kanye. Really? Good for him. Wait, that's actually so sweet. I know. Is the song nice? Back to December? It's almost her only nice song she's ever written about anyone. It's all about how he was too good for her and she regrets it. It's such a sweet song. Wait, that's actually so fucking sweet. Wow.

Wow Yeah and His wife is like A huge Swifty So it's cute She like brings them To everything Wait that's actually Really really really sweet And like Kind of I don't know though As the wife That's some security Right there I know I think about that often I'm like If my I guess he's her husband Yeah

But That would be terrifying To I mean Let's go see your ex Who's also Taylor Swift Yeah imagine Imagine like Your wife's ex-boyfriend Was like Brad Pitt Oh my god I'd be like I would just be like Brad you win And I don't know what Crack in the universe Allowed me to get her Yeah Like

But also, that's a lot of pressure when dating Taylor Swift to know that a song's coming for you. Yeah. I remember I was hooking up with this girl for a while. I was in my early 20s. She was in her mid-40s. And she had a blog where she talked about everyone she ever hooked up with. No. That's what we do. And we were numbered.

And what did she say about you? I know you remember. Oh, yeah. What did she say about you? I was like, I'm never going to read this. And then I was like, I'm going to read this. Absolutely. You have to. First of all, take a guess what number I was. Oh, no. What number were you? Well, she was in her mid-40s, so I'm going to go with like...

Were you in the 40s? Close. 69? Close. 58? 58, okay. Good for her. I hit guy 58 by fucking 21, so shit, good for her. Solid. Yeah. So she's had a good run. Nice person.

I mean, I was 23. So I was new, you know, and like I'm with this person who's experienced and seen some things, written some things. And she just was basically like, he was very, not like, not goofy, but just like, just clueless, kind of like. Is that what she said? Like timid. Did she talk about like your guys' like hookups? Yeah. That's what she was saying. Oh my God, did you know that? The hookup was kind of timid.

And like, and then, but then it like slowly got better, which is like very, that tracks for me. And I feel like maybe for other people, like the first time's weird. And then you learn what you like. And when you're young too. Did you know that prior to dating her? Or was that something you found out after? She had mentioned it, but I didn't think that I, I would just never imagine. And then I randomly got curious and bored. And I was like, there I am. Did you, she mentioned you by name? No, no. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh,

Oh, okay. So you were just 58 and you knew it. Yeah, because we lived at the same apartment complex. Yeah, she was like, talk about it. As soon as I saw that, I was like... Was she hot? Yeah, she was, yeah. She wasn't like crazy, but she was... I could never have imagined you at that age being like a milf hunter. And unintentional. I feel like that's like a universal experience in your early 20s. I feel like guys always like want to date an older woman. Really? The first, the girl I lost my virginity to was 30 and I was 18. Oh.

And what was that like? Oh, I've told that you, I never told you this story. I feel like you might've told me this story. I still lived with my mom. Yeah. And, uh, we were, you know, like every like five or six years growing up, like your mom, like redoes the living room, you know? Yeah. And so we had to get rid of this old TV that we had. And so she like did the apartment building thing of like put a notice up on the elevator, like a hundred bucks, uh,

42 inch TV. This woman comes and wants to buy the TV. I've heard you tell this story. Keep going. I delivered the television to her apartment and I just got a feeling but I didn't know what to do. She was like, enjoy your Zenith television 42 inches picture in pictures.

Oh, my LG, life's good, baby. Yeah. And I just remember thinking, like, if I ever run into her again or I ever, like, somehow reconnect with her, like. I'm going to give her that Vizio dick. A month later. Or, yes, or, yeah, or Samsung. And a month later, I got a call from, my mom calls me. She goes, hey, you know that lady we sold the TV to? She doesn't know how to work the remote.

I bet she doesn't. You go over there and show her and I was like, oh, will I? Imagine your mom had shown up and she's like, here, I'll show you. Or imagine like for years I was like, did she set me up? Like, did she know I was so pathetic that she like, like my mom set up this? No. I can't think like that. Yeah, no, even if that's.

Like for sure. That's oh my God. No, no, no. Even if she did, she didn't. What a fun story. No, no, no. I need more details. I'm so sorry. I am not done. So you knock on this door. Yeah. And you walk in and I walk on the door. I bring a joint because I'm like, this will show that I'm fucking cool. Yeah. So I go in and we're like talking for a minute and I'm like, you smoke weed? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like,

let's do that then. And we start making out and, uh, and I just remember, I'll never forget this, that, uh, she went to the, the bathroom and I didn't know that that's sometimes the thing people do to sort of freshen up like, or whatever. And so like, and I,

I left. I go to leave. Like, I literally go, I'm halfway out the door. I'm like, oh, I must have done something wrong. Like, I'm just going to get out of here. And she comes out of the bathroom. She's like, where are you going? And I'm like, oh, I just figured I didn't want to, you know. And you're in the bathroom. That's weird. She's like, go into my room. And I was like...

Okay, great. Perfect. I have so many more questions, but I just shouldn't ask them. So I'm going to leave it at that. I just had had a list of everything I'd like dreamt of doing and we did everything. No. Yeah. I was just like the first day. That's amazing. I just was like, yeah, I knock it all out. Yeah. Multiple missions accomplished. Wow. That's honestly beautiful. That's a good virginity story. Shout out to her. Yeah. I'm going to make up a new one.

Oh my God, that is kind of crazy. I actually, I just realized the first time I ever told the story of my virginity on the internet, it was to you. Really? Of losing my virginity, yeah. At a Kid Cudi concert. After a Chance the Rapper concert and you're so real for that. Are you fucking kidding me, God?

oh my god that's actually that's oh that's so beautiful but i remember the guy that i lost my virginity to eventually the next time i saw him he was like yeah so you're just gonna like tell our virginity like your story to like josh peck on account it was like so mind-blowing to him and me like it just what are the odds that that was like the first time i ever told that story was to josh peck

What rappers concert did you lose your... I lost mine overseas. I keep saying that. It was in Mexico. That's incredible. And then what? Someone tweeted? Yeah, his ex-girlfriend tweeted it. I was already so shy and timid and I didn't want anyone to know about anything and this girl tweeted it. She was like, yeah. Scofield fuck so-and-so? Yep, and I was so traumatized I didn't do it again for four years. That's awful. Fuck that bitch. I re-virginized. What was her name?

Don't bleep that. No, I'm kidding. Honestly, we might. You should bleep it. I'm bad about that. I never want to. I don't care. I don't care part about the canceled podcast, but...

i'm trying to learn when i should the numbered blog we are we like come on here although we give like aliases but that is crazy though as he was talking about his number the numbered blog i was thinking like guys must do that when they date us like come and watch well yeah and it is it's kind of scary because like we do come on here and debrief and tell each other stories but yeah i've been like kind of talking to this guy and we went we've been on you know probably like 15 dates or something like that that's a lot of days a lot of i know

But our first date Like he didn't really know What I did for a living And then our first date We like went to the date And then people were Kind of coming up And recognizing me So then it was kind of Like a conversation Of telling him what I do But ever since then We've like never Talked about it Like since I just talk about it With him like it's super normal I'm like yeah I'm on tour I'll be home in a couple days And he's like okay

Like we don't like delve into it But I couldn't If I knew someone had a podcast And I was seeing them I'd watch every episode Yeah Because I would have to know Are they saying anything about me And if they're not Why not I know And then today we like Watched the Logan Paul fight Like and he was here And he like kind of knew About Logan Paul Yeah like meanwhile Her ex-husband's like Walking down the Yeah like I was just sitting there Like how much does he know And I don't know how to like Find out I know I was giving you a side eye Like does he know That's your ex-husband I hope not Not that he's really Your ex-husband Yeah but

That's tough. That's tough. Drink Prime. Yeah, enjoy Prime. Let's put a little more money in the Paul's pockets. Prime's a delicious beverage. It really is. I don't know how much I like blueberry though. It's a little sweet. I'm a lemon lime guy. I'm a classic. I love the blue raspberry one. Delish. But yeah, let's put more fucking money in their fucking pockets. What are we doing? Yeah, fuck.

I need like a, maybe he'll cut us a check. Did Logan really get his head split open by Dylan Danis? He threw a microphone at him at the press conference. It looked bad. Did you watch the fight? Or I'm assuming not. It literally just happened. Are you into the fights? Yeah, I love it. I love it too. I'm obsessed. Like utterly obsessed. It was really good. I mean, no disrespect. I love like real like MMA and boxing. Yes, yes, yes. But like, oh, I mean, you know, so much, you have to give the Pauls so much credit because of the way that they've set this up is second to none.

Absolutely. And just the amount of people that watch, you know, is crazy. The pay-per-view and all of that is kind of nuts to me. This fight was just so interesting to me because I don't know if you were like keeping up with it at all, but he fought Dylan Danis. Right. And Dylan Danis was on Twitter.

really attacking Logan's fiance Nina I did see that and she's suing him now that's not cool at all and it was just so viral in the like toxic male community like building up the hate towards her so I feel like Logan had a lot to like feel on that day it went like two rounds right no it went six rounds it went six rounds but he mopped him yes yeah yeah and then Dylan got mad and started trying to kick him

Yeah, and then all the security came in and that's just embarrassing as fuck. It was so embarrassing. I'm so glad Dylan lost. The word embarrassing was trending worldwide today on Twitter in combat sports. Like that was the only thing that trended. I'm just glad it wasn't like my name was next. Yeah, right? There was a Twitter trend that I was dead a month ago. No! Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm happy I didn't see that. I would have lost it. I would have had a spiral. There was a big... And it was big. But the way I found out was my friend texts me. He's like...

You're trending. And that's all he wrote. And I, my heart dropped. Yeah. What did I do? What did I say? What a horrible thing. I have such a like worry for that. It's insane. I'll never forget. It was my 22nd birthday and I woke up and I opened my phone and

and I'm trending number one worldwide on Twitter. Happy birthday Tana Mongeau. And I was like, oh, that's so nice. And I click on it and it's everything bad I've ever done. It's everyone like being like talking about anything awful I've ever done with the hashtag happy birthday Tana Mongeau. Like it was like, and it was trending number one worldwide on my birthday. Not like if it weren't you, it would be funny. No, and we did end up just laughing about it. Like, what can you do? You know what I mean? But it was like crazy. It was every fucked up thing I've ever done. I would take back happy birthday Tana Mongeau if I could. It was, that was wild. Yeah.

It was awful. We're happy you're alive. Yeah, I'm really happy you're alive. I was like, oh good, they just think I'm dead. That's actually crazy, Josh. Did you like play into it and like crack jokes? I didn't, no. I didn't like, I'm not. You shut up. I was randomly at John Stamos' 60th birthday party and I wanted to like be like, I'm doing great and I'm at John Stamos' 60th birthday. What is John Stamos like now? Is he single? No, no, married with a kid. Damn it. Sorry. But if he wasn't,

Did you see his job? I mean, he's obviously gorgeous, but like he's 60. It's fun. I don't know. I have issues. Not to be ages. No, I get it. I probably shouldn't be going. If you're going to hook up with a 60 year old, I could understand, but. Yeah. Yeah. I guess that would be the 60 year old. Did you see what he posted for Ashley Olsen when she had a baby? It was so sweet. No. You just have to see it. It was like him and her. Have you ever met the Olsen twins? I have. I did a movie with Mary Kate.

Really? What movie? It's called The Whackness. It's me and Mary-Kate Method Man, Ben Kingsley. It's good. Wait, that's so fun. I want to watch that tonight. Oh my God, how fun. Is it a comedy drama? It's a comedy, but it was like an indie. It won Sundance.

Wait, I'm watching tonight. I'm so excited. I also think I need to watch Oppenheimer. But I think I'm going to need to take an Adderall for that. What's going to happen is we're going to have to break it up into TikTok-sized clips and just have her watch part one through 7500. I was just thinking that. How did you watch it? Did you like sit like in the theater with a bunch of people? Oh, I went and saw it twice. Like physically saw it. You love it. I went with, huh? You love it. I love it. Isn't it good? It's so good. And I feel like it's like an interstellar where almost the first time I didn't fully understand. Like the second time I was like, oh, okay.

Like I didn't get that the first time around. I went to go see it with my mother-in-law and my wife and my sister-in-law. And it was like 10.30 in the morning. Because, you know, I have a kid in school. And it's a three-hour movie. So we're like, we got to be out by 2.30. Oh, yeah. A little matinee. And it was packed. Really? The power of Christopher Nolan. Did people notice that you were there? Were people like... I was like walking around being like...

I have a shaky hand over there. I would 100% do that. I'd be like, you see... I was so nervous to be like a core ball, like going to see my own. But like I wanted to. As you should. I want your family to see it and enjoy it. As you fucking should, Josh Peck. So how many times have you seen it now? I've now seen it three times. Oh my God. You've only seen it one more time than me. That's kind of crazy. I need to see it. I'm going to watch it and I'm going to text you as soon as I do. It's just so fun because you see, like I saw you in the beginning or like...

the first time and i'm like oh my god like he really is in it and then you just keep coming you're just in so much of it are you yes to me i have a really cool

Brooke's the best. She is the best. She's the best ever. I'm going to come over for dinner. My wife will love you. I love Paige. Come on over, guys. Everybody's welcome. We need to. Max, Shai, they're the best. My kids. Oh my God, I know. Have I met your kids ever? No, they would love you. You want to see them? Yes, I do. Kids love Tana. It's actually really sweet. It's so weird. I don't know why. Why do you mean?

Thanks, I like them. Oh my god, shut up. I'm getting pregnant tonight, Josh. Whether I'm ready or not. I don't know who it's going to be. Who are we thinking? The guy who came to watch the Logan fight? Helicopter man? I don't know. We're going to have to figure it out. Maybe I'll get on a boat and rock the boat like Brooke. Get that deep sea dick. Okay. Where's the boat currently parked? It's in...

I pulled up her location to check on where she was a couple days ago and she was just in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. It's funny how I'm making it sound like it's this big thing I'm doing. I literally went to the boat one time. Really? Yeah. When you guys hang out, does he take it out or he leaves it docked? It was only docked when we were there. But again, I've only been once. I think next time we'll definitely take it for a spin. Maybe just around the marina. Keep it chill. Yeah, absolutely. Get out on the open water. I'm like fishing for breakfast.

Yeah, imagine a little halibut and ham. Well, he's never going to call me again because I keep talking about him on the podcast. Okay, okay. We love you. We love you both, man. Let's just call him Rick. Listen, Captain Rick. Honestly, Josh Peck might help. I'm like, look. You have a lovely person here. Don't mess it up. You live on a boat. You're a secret undercover detective. He has a house. He has a house. He has a house.

I think you have a house with a sale. Absolutely. I mean, yeah, that is a house. The boat's got a bedroom. That's a fucking house. No, he has a real house. It doesn't matter. Anyway, Josh, thank you for coming. Thank you. And just like literally so much. It's the best day of my life. I,

Seeing this is all I've ever wanted to see. I know she's the happiest girl in the world. And I just fucking love you so much. You're the best. And I would love to come on your podcast soon, both of us. Please come on, good guys. Would love to have you both. Yes. It was one of my favorite podcasts I've been on this year. I had so much fun when I was on it, and I would love to come on again anytime soon that you'd like to have us. We love you. Love you. Go watch Oppenheimer. Literally immediately. But also support the SAG strike, goddammit. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, my god. I hope we don't get you in trouble.