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COVID-19 viruses like me change to fool your immune system and make you sick, but updated vaccines help protect you. Stay up to date on COVID-19 and flu vaccinations. Sponsored by Champions for Vaccine Education, Equity and Progress. Hello and welcome back to the cancelled podcast. Woo!
Happy October, everybody. Happy October, everybody. No reason we're saying that, but happy motherfucking October. We actually, we're knocking it out already. Today we went to the Biltmore Hotel. We did. We shot a little Halloween look.
In downtown Los Angeles. And we were the twins from The Shining. And it was so fucking funny. I don't know what came over me. We were like, first of all, shooting in like hotel hallways. She didn't tell me beforehand that we did not have a room or anything booked. So we had to change everything.
In the hallway. Titties out in the hotel hallway. And then we shot as the Shining Twins. And then we were like scaring strangers. I was having so much fun with that. I could have done that all day. Loved it. I loved it. And now we're here wearing our completely normal everyday outfits. Yeah. And we have a lot to unpack actually this episode. I know. I'm excited. We've got some exciting topics. I've had a really interesting week as well. It has been a really fucking interesting week for the both of us. We've like kind of seen each other, but we've also been doing our own things. We've been doing our own things.
Which are, oh, it's always good to come together with you on this couch. Yeah, I love just meeting up. I mean, where do we start? Should we start? We're always talking about people stalking us, but I think we put our stalker hats on this week.
What are we talking about? We stalked Olivia Rodrigo. Oh, we did. We were stalking Olivia Rodrigo this week. We had a night this week where my friend Tate McRae. I love saying that. I love flexing that. She's so cool. She's so cute. She is a pop singer and she's such a fucking slay. She had a concert in L.A. Dude, she's so talented. She's like.
I feel like it's a dancer in her, but, like, such a good performer. I know. She's fucking, like, a little baby J-Lo or something. I know. You know she won So You Think You Can Dance? Really? I don't remember if she won, but she was on So You Think You Can Dance, and, like, really on it. And she can dance. I think she can dance. We went to her show, and there were just a bunch of people there. Noah Beck was there. So hot. Oh.
sorry tatum he's my girl we just like kiki like we were like really talking shit and giggling he's sweet i actually i loved noah that night who else was there jamie charlie addison ray i'm addison ray's biggest fan yeah oh i didn't know that she was at the after party oh megan trainer was there megan trainer and we found out she listens to canceled which is just crazy hey megs
We were gagged. You were sobbing in front of her. It was so funny. Well, I was so excited because I've talked on the podcast before about how much I love Meghan Trainor and I always say it in the group chat. I don't know why. I just think she's so funny. And so I went up to her expecting to talk to her as a fan. I was going to be like, oh my God, I love you. And she was like, oh my God, bro?
She I was so shook I was like Meeting people And I just like Waving at people Like seeing all these People there And then I see this Girl waving at me And I just think It was like A fan And I wave And then I look again And I was like That's Megan fucking Traynor waving at me I love her And it's so funny Because then right After that Like
The Kardashians episode came out when they're doing like the Meghan Trainor video. No, which is I like kept thinking about that. I was like, how do you watch canceled? But also like you're like she was so knowledgeable, too. She was like, your story's crazy. Like,
I love her. We were just giggling about a bunch of funny shit. Chopping it up. It was like super funny. With Meg. With Meg, our girl. I want to have her on. I would love to have her on. She's a podcast too. I would love to go on. She's fucking, she's everything. But what we see at the concert that none other than Miss Olivia Rodrigo was in attendance. I know. And like, is she afraid of me? I talk about her so often that it's like, I think she might be afraid of me. Yeah, so we get to the after party and it's like,
It's pretty intimate. It is. There's like maybe a hundred people there and like a big space. So very spread out, very intimate vibes. Like we were just kicking it with everyone. And then Iris Apatow came up to us. Okay.
And she's so sweet. I'm predicting that Iris Apatow is going to be like the it girl in like maybe two years. She's like, she already is. But like, I feel like she's going to blow up and everyone's going to be obsessed with her. Like the way they are like right now with Lily Rose death. She's that bitch. And she came up to us and I looked behind her and.
She brought her bestie, Olivia Rodrigo, and they were there. And every time Olivia would like go to the bathroom, suddenly we had to pee. Like we were trying so hard. I wanted to talk to her so bad, but I didn't want to like approach her and be like, I love you. Yeah. She was just like vibing. And obviously I feel like I like...
I like to let people vibe. So I was just trying to be in her like vicinity and hope that she like bumped into me. And I love to be a fan too. So sometimes I like don't even want to have an interaction with somebody because it's like, I just want to stay a fan. Yeah. I mean, not that I wouldn't, but like, yeah, I get what you're saying. Just the vibes once you've met him.
Like, and I really, I was so gagged that she was there. I wanted to tell her I just love her new album and she's such a slay. And I like, I really do want to know because I feel like we talk about her kind of, not a lot, but like enough to where it's like I could see her maybe have being seen a clip and like hating us. No, I never said anything bad about her. But I feel like some people are just like, leave me off that godforsaken horror podcast. Yeah.
Just send me a DM and I'll never say your name again. Literally absolutely ever. And we were trying to be all nonchalant about it. And then all of a sudden, I just, I see in the corner of my eye, none other than our sweet girl, Lila Gibney.
Just Assaulting Olivia Rodrigo She literally just went right up to her Started making a TikTok Without even asking her She just I hate to hear that so much It was an Olivia sound Lila didn't even know the words It's honestly It's funny though Because if you watch the TikTok Olivia was sweet to her
her Olivia was super sweet kind of running away as anyone with a sane mind would be it's so funny to just like watch the tick-tock back now like Olivia looks like she's being held at gunpoint though good for Lila she was like she was on it with her content she made a greedy tick-tock with Tate did she yes
Damn, yeah, honestly good for her. Lila had herself a little content day. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Surprised they didn't kick her out. Me too, honestly. Do you know what else happened to me that night? That I can't get over because it was so fucking weird to me. I've had every possible...
or psycho fan interactions in my entire life pretty much happened to me. I could do a whole episode about it. I've literally seen a fan get hit by a car trying to attack me. Not kidding. It's not funny. She was okay. We have a video of her after she was okay. I've hit a few people. I've had every fucking psycho fan interaction ever happen except I've never had a fan...
do this I guess let me just explain to you what happened I'm on the edge of my seat we walk out of the Tate concert and there's a lot of people there that attended and I'm meeting a lot of people and it's super normal super awesome and I get out to the street and I'm taking photos of people and I'm waiting for my driver to get there um
And this guy comes up to me and he's holding a rosary like this and like swinging it. And then he keeps stopping and he's shuffling tarot cards. And he's like going like this, like his hands are like out and he's swaying. And he's like, Tana, Tana, it's my calling to find you. I've been looking for you everywhere. It's my calling to find you. I'm like, what?
And he's like, I am the next coming of Jesus. It's my calling to find you. What do you want to know? And then he keeps telling me like, I've been talking to you all night. I've been talking to you all week. I've been talking to you all month and I'm terrified. You know me. I'm such a runner. That's one thing about me. If anything scares me, I'm such a fucking runner track star. Like I will just immediately start running. Like I won't say anything. I just start running and I start running across the street.
And he runs into the middle of the street. There's traffic everywhere. This is on Hollywood Boulevard, essentially. He gets down on his knees in the middle of the street with the rosary. And he's just swaying back and forth with his hands. And they are screaming, Tana, Tana, I am Jesus. This is not a bit. There's no phone. There's no camera. There's nothing around. How weird. Look at this. So then I'm across the street. He crosses the street to keep doing this. Like, I am Jesus. Then he starts screaming at me. You will see. You will see. You will see.
see oh my god what do you think it is that you will see maybe he's right my car gets there look at this video i got a video of the very fucking end of it i guess i could put it in the podcast actually and he's just like a little kid i said i saw this was in the group chat i never watched it
So my car gets there. He's trying to get in the car. He's screaming, you will see. He's screaming, I'm Jesus, whatever. Eventually, he gets in front of our car and, like, is praising the car, like, bowing down, like, screaming, you will see, like, I am Jesus, holding his cross, shuffling his tarot cards, whole nine. It was kind of like a Halloween costume. He, like, committed to the bit, had all the props. But, like, I just want to show you this video. Okay. Once I get it. It's literally, like, one second of it. I made Alexis's man, like, take one second.
Of a video of him right before we drive away. What the fuck? The tarot cards. He finally leaves. He comes back before we actually go. The tarot cards. Shuffling. You will see. Wait, I wonder what he was going to say. And I've been watching the new season of American Horror Story. Have you seen it? I only watched the first episode. And it's like, this was so...
coded like that. Really? Like I would have wanted to know what he wanted to say. The girl in the show is like kind of well known and all these weird like demon people are like stalking her like and it's just. Yeah, I kind of got the gist from like even the first episode. And I got so high when I like got home that I was like in my house alone. Oh, you were probably like. I will see.
I've had my cards read recently. Did you? I did when we were in Asheville, North Carolina. Oh yeah. What did they tell you again? They told me that it's not in my best interest to overshare in my work life, which is so funny because I'm like, no, wait till you hear this. And she told me to take dating off the table. Okay. That's just mean though.
I was like, what the fuck? She said focus on your career. But then it's like, you just told me that I can't even do the most important part of my career. Yeah, that's kind of wild. Yeah, she was a fraud. She was a fraud. You and I have both been dating. Stabbling. And we can talk about both of our dating lives on today's episode. But the other night, I went to check on my sweet, sweet girl, Brooke. And I see that her location is...
is none other than in the middle of the marina on a boat. What's wrong with that? But just... What the fuck? Like, imagine just being like, where's Brooke? And that's where she is. I was sleeping on a boat. And what about it? What's going on? One of my boyfriends has a boat. And I have been sleeping there. No, I'm just kidding. I've only slept there once.
but yeah um i'm feeling i'm in like a major outdoorsy era right now i've been like lime scootering a lot i have been boating yesterday i was at a horse ranch like i'm just having like a fun time which i love i really do love this era for you it's like fall so i'm just trying to really get outside and that included me sleeping on a boat one night i just thought about it one important question what
Does this man have a house? Yes. Or just... Like, I don't know. Or does he live on the water? I mean, like, I haven't seen the house, but I've seen the boat. House undetected yet. You gotta have a house if you have a boat. Yeah, that's what I... That's what's, like, keeping me...
Like in line It's like no one has a boat Without a house Okay so just guys If you know You see on my Instagram story If I'm like at the Grove And you're like oh my god Like where's Brooke Like what's Brooke doing Like she's on a boat No I'm just like Honestly I'm having fun I'm outside I'm doing That's how I feel right now Fun dating things That's exactly how I feel right now I feel like
I'm realizing that hopefully these are like our last few years of being in our 20s and dating and having fun. And yeah, you know what I mean? So it's I'm trying to take more dating opportunities. And me too. I'm trying not to say no to as many things. I'm like everyone who asks me on a date so long as they're normal, I'm going. And I completely agree. And I understand, which I guess leads me to my dating life. Okay. Yeah. Like let's go ahead and explain what's going on. Yes, please. Yes. Yes.
I think. Wait, can I say it? So, I don't know if you guys remember. They do. Like seven or eight podcasts ago, Brooke was discussing how she met a man that had some interest in her and she wasn't sure if they were the right match because she doesn't necessarily...
or always go for a man who flexes. Yeah, it was Mr. Flexy Flex. Like he was such a sweetie, but just like a little too flashy for me. She's not into the Karl Martz and the Cartier and the jet picks and all that. But I am. And I asked her on that episode, I said, if you don't want him, can I have him? She said yes. And sure is shit. She is dating him.
I love him. I love it. He's so sweet. I wanted someone to love him because like he really does have the best. No, no, no. No. Because he's like, he has so much potential. He's good looking. He's fun. He's rich. Like there's nothing wrong with him. He just wasn't my particular vibe. So eventually like this was a while ago when I saw, because I know him as well. So had I, once I'd like seen him out after he podcasted about it, he was kind of just joking with me. Like, you know what I mean? About us podcasting about him and.
Whatever. And I was obviously making jokes to him. Like, you heard what I said. You know where I'm at. So he'd been asking me on some dates. And finally I decided to do it. Absolutely. And we went on our first date probably like almost two weeks ago. And he picked me up. And we went to one of the nicest hotels in LA. And we get there. And we valet the car. And we get there. And all of the workers...
are in the lobby like waiting for him upon arrival duh and they take us into the elevator and they take us up in the hotel and we're on like one of the high floors in the hotel and we're on like we're in like a hallway of hotel rooms and I'm like what's happening right now are you going to a hotel room am I about to get like literally kidnapped taken whatever and there's like a secret speakeasy door in the
middle of like it just looks like a regular hotel room but it's like this big door and it takes us into this like private insane rich lounge were there other people in there not in our area like there it was just like it was just us it was such a rich bougie date we got to know each other we're kind of catching a vibe and we're already starting a little business venture together too i think i'm buying a hollywood tour bus i'll let you know how that goes i you know i've
that I'm dying to go on a Hollywood tour. I think I'm buying a Hollywood tour bus. I'm not even kidding. The profit margins are insane. But I do find out one thing that's he's a bit younger than me. Yeah, I think that we didn't place enough emphasis on that in the beginning because that was like really a major factor. I also. Yeah. Considered. But you are younger than me. So that makes sense. But he's like really young. He is 21. And I never, ever date people younger than me.
But here's the thing. What I will say, wait, sorry to cut you off. I think it might be what you're going to say, but it's like, does age really matter if you're successful? That's, that's my thing is a, his personality is very like mature. He runs,
several multi-million dollar companies and he crushes it would i rather have a 25 year old without a bed frame or a 21 year old i sure would you know i'm like in fact mine doesn't even have a house he's about though and a men's emotional maturity like i feel like most men that are my age their emotional maturity is kind of the same obviously then that's where you could say tana date older but i don't know i'm catching a vibe
I'm excited for you. I feel like it could go somewhere. If it doesn't, at least you're getting some like really fun. Yeah. He's super sweet. And like, we have a date tonight. I'm going to wear this. Oh, perfect. And I'll be there.
But so then our first date's over, right? And then like two days go by and he has to fly up to Napa for one of his like businesses. And he's FaceTiming me and he's like, I miss you. Like, I want you to come to Napa. Like, I'm like, oh, I wish I could. Like, you'll be back though. Like, don't worry. And then he's like, no, I want you to come to Napa. Is there a bug? Is it on me? No. Is it on me? No. First of all, ow!
It was the best possible route you could have taken, though. No, get it, get it.
So he was like, I want you to come to Napa. And I was like, I can't go. Like, blah, blah, blah. Like, I'll see you in a couple days, whatever. And I was like, okay, I'm laying down for a nap. Like, I'll call you in a little. And he was like, I think I'm just going to book you a jet and have you get on it. Like, I want to see you. And I was like, he, like, I thought he was kidding. And I was like, he, he, okay. Like, he, he, like, I wasn't kidding. Whatever. Like, you know what I mean? And I go to sleep. And I wake up to Isabella waking me because this guy had essentially called Lila and was like,
Where's Tana? Like, get her. I booked her a jet. Get her on it. Lila calls Amari. Amari's not home. Amari calls Isabella. Isabella comes to my room and she's like, Tana, I think there's like a jet like waiting for you, whatever. And then I was too tired. So I didn't get up. And I missed an actual jet that he booked for me to go there. I found out later that his sister ended up getting on it. So it's like, fine. But he wasn't even mad.
He wasn't even mad. But he can't be mad. He wasn't even mad. He didn't say he were going to go. I know, I know, I know, I know. But like the fact that to me that says like that income is completely dispensable to you. Like that price. That's fucking sick. Yeah, that is like such a slay.
Honestly love it, but I just want to say I'm not missing a jet for no one. Yeah, I'm not I hope I don't miss the second one I don't know who sleeps through a jet comment down below if you've ever slept through a jet Well, here's the thing like had I known in advance obviously I would have made it It was very much like me asleep. He booked it. I didn't know and like I was asleep. I don't know I know that that's such a Tana only is here only boyfriend right now Yes
boring. Well, you're always supposed to have more than one. I agree. Yeah. Cause if I, you know, if this ends, if this goes South, I'm putting all my eggs in one basket, but I'm not putting my eggs in any basket. That's like one thing I've been good at lately is like, I feel like I'm,
Usually I can't like disconnect from... Like I can't just be like, oh, I'm just having fun. But I feel like I am just having fun right now. I think you're doing a really good job. Like I'm not like too invested in anything. I'm like, oh, whatever. Yeah, it's good. It's really good. I'm trying to be that way. But at the same time, so far, I want to marry this man. We have our third date tonight and we'll see. Yay. How it goes. Jork's gate is so much realer than I thought. Yeah. I don't know if this will ever change. But it's like every time we tell stories on the podcast, I feel like you and I think to ourselves...
Like we know the certain ones that are going to like go viral. Yeah. It's the same thing like musicians always say. It's like what does well is never what you expect to do well. And it's like we'll tell like the most like tiny like insignificant story. And then it's like Carrie. Like the pool boy thing was like such an in passing like tiny little thing. Yeah. I mentioned and it has become like such a common theme. Yeah. Same with like Marianne. Oh my God. Sorry. You just saw my other hand. All of it. Oh my other hand's been out the whole time.
We were at that concert the other night and everyone was holding up signs and like phone Snapchat things that said Jortsgate. I've gone like so many places and like people just it's so funny with the podcast because it's never used to really happen. Like yeah people be like you fucked me with a toothbrush like say random shit you know. But like now it's like people won't even be like oh my god hey Tana like I love your podcast like they'll just be like where are your jorts. Yeah where the fuck are them jorts. Dude I'm not gonna lie I posted a photo in like in like borderline jorts like they were like starter jorts yesterday.
Like halfway between a jean short and a jort. Yeah. And I the comments where they were cooking me. I think we might have to be a hypocrite. I think that we might have to come out with our own jorts line after this. I think so. And it's just crazy because I can never fucking wear them again. I'm not even kidding. So it's like I can't believe I don't know. Post Malone spoke out publicly against or in support of jorts. And therefore I was wrong.
Let it be known. We love a jort. I think I'll dabble again, but I'm still a little too traumatized. But, well, I could hold your hand under this. Should we try? Mm-hmm. Cool. Speaking of stories that I didn't think would go wildly viral and are now plaguing my life, the girl that I said needs to shut the fuck up and get hit in the face. Oh, no. I saw her. I was on my second date with this guy, and she walked into the restaurant. That is so unfortunate. She hugged me. Oh, wow. I would not hug me.
I don't think she knows. I don't think she's seen it. And lucky for you, that episode where we went like a little more in detail about it had only come out like 30 minutes before your encounter with her. So she had definitely not seen that. There's a bug on my leg and I'm handling it as well as I possibly can. Okay. So you said hi to her. She gave you a hug. Yeah. And then she had a Bottega bag on and I just look at her and I go, I love your bag. I'm going to come out with a line. I did like her bag. It was a red Bottega. It was really kind. But, um,
Yeah, I just thought I'd throw that in there. I can't wait until I'm so fucking rich that I'm just like...
just wearing all the things that she does i kind of always thought that too and now it's like i get the most excited when i get like a new peppa trinket that's the thing i don't think money will like ever make me really that interested in that yeah i feel like the things that i'm gonna want to do when i like really have a lot of money are like so random you're gonna get a boat next to your guy i'm gonna i literally told him that i'm like i'm gonna get this little slot right next door i'm gonna sit here and make sure you don't bring any other bitches to this boat do you guys take it out on the water
I mean, I've only been on it once. I think you're lying. I thought you'd been on it twice. No. I'm going to go again, like, tomorrow. Can I come? Mm-hmm. Can I really? I feel like... Well, actually, you've met him, so maybe. It's cute. It's like... And it's cute, I guess. It's like a date. I'm trying to craft a date. I've always... It's always been my dream to date a guy with a boat. That's like... And, like, I grew up on, like, going to boats all the time. Like, going on boats is my favorite thing to do in the world is go boating. So, like...
I figure I like I have to have a boat in my lifetime. And what's the easiest way to get a boat? Marry a man who has a boat. Absolutely the easiest way to get a boat. I think that with my sobriety, I'm really trying to rewrite so many things like boating. Like I've like I feel like all of my boat experiences have been very much so drunk, very much so. Yeah, but like but like truly boating is so fun. Like I used to go like deep sea fishing. You used to go deep sea fishing? Yeah, I had like my best friend growing up.
They like knew I was like in an unfortunate situation. So their family would always bring me on their vacation. Wait, that's sweet. And they had like a yacht in Coronado, um, like Coronado Island. And we would go stay for like weeks at a time. And it was so fun. Like, and you would deep sea fish. Yeah. Like you catch fish. Yeah. I caught a halibut one time and we eat it for dinner. Halibut is crazy. Anyway, nautical Brooke is loading. Yeah.
I'm just kidding who knows maybe next week my boyfriend's gonna be like an astronaut and all of a sudden like I'm fucking in space I don't know I really love this I would love to like I think dating for profession is so funny like I like I don't want to sound like I'm like changing my whole personality for a guy but it's like sometimes when I want to dabble in different interests the easiest way to do that is to just start talking to somebody who already does those things yeah and get so if I'm if I'm all of a sudden like taking an interest in like
Formula One like what better way to learn about it than to date somebody who is like a driver or something it's no I that's girl math to me that makes perfect perfect perfect sense to me and now Hinge makes it so easy where you can just look at people's professions and like keep going like does he have a boat it's on his Hinge profile guaranteed I'm harding the hedge funds every time you know
Natalie taught me that. Natalie also taught me like which colleges mean they come from money. God, she's hilarious. This topic is coming like out of absolutely nowhere. I don't know what it is lately. I've just been reflecting on my life a lot more than I normally do. Again, that might be like my new journey with sobriety and just all the things that I did that I look back on and I'm like, why did you do that?
And then the answer really relate to that. I just had a moment earlier. The answer is drugs and alcohol and maybe lack of parenting and all of those things. But what do you do? So this conversation came up the other day where I've told this on the podcast before, but essentially I saw that psychic in like 2020 who wrote out that whole PDF of everything in my life.
This psychic wrote like your boyfriend's going to cheat on you. You're going to have a major falling out with your parents. Oh shit. Maybe I shouldn't be talking shit online then. They wrote out just like my whole fucking life in like bullet points for the next like five to ten years. They told me all these things were going to happen and every single thing on the list that the psychic wrote out has happened. Every single thing. She wrote like ten things. They've all happened up to date. Do you have her number? Except. I do. I need to know. I do. The only thing she wrote on the list that hasn't happened yet is that when I'm 28,
I'm going to have a major lawsuit slash like legal thing. Like, I don't know. I hope it's not us. Something that, you know, is like a major in that regard. And I obviously hope it doesn't, but it's very scary because she has said all these things that have all happened. And the other night I was talking to some friends about that and they
Then they start going into like, what do you think it could be? Like, do you think it's going to be your parents again? Do you think it's like something you did? And they were just bringing up things I've done. It's like that are super illegal. And I can't believe I did that booty for Biden shit. Yeah.
I was... Oh, let us inform you. On Xanax. A lot of it. She tried to sway the election and literally almost got arrested for like... What's it true? This was at the time that everyone was doing shit on their platforms to kind of get people to vote for Biden instead of Trump. And I was very... No, I think they were just trying to like raise awareness. What she was doing was like... But people were going hard on like Biden, not Trump. Okay, why don't we... Why don't you tell us how hard you went? And this was right at the time that that girl in Australia...
Sold her nudes and she raised like a million dollars for the Australian fires. It's really different than trying to sway an election. And my brain on Xanax somehow was like, let's combine these two things. We philanthropist. I posted that if you are voting for Biden, you're
Message me on OnlyFans and let me know and I will send you a free booty pic. And booty for Biden, trended worldwide. No, why don't you just wait to see what she posted, Erin? And I grid posted this. Erin? To my grid. I posted this to my grid. What the fuck is this? I posted this to my grid. I see.
And I'm sitting here. Wait, what's more concerning is that that is still live on your Instagram. It has 700,000 likes. I'm sitting here on this podcast like, why doesn't a normal guy want to date me? Like, maybe that's why. No, that means you are engaged in politics. You are educated. You are philanthropic. I was just trying to do the right thing. You slayed that. With my butt. But that is not going to get you a man with a boat.
It's because we know what we know about men with boats is that they all they're usually Republican. Yes. And which is a bummer. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely one of those things that I wouldn't do again. I think that at that time I really needed a serious approval process. Now I just I wouldn't do that.
I don't know. I have like a bunch more that I was going to go into, like just stupid shit that I've done like that. We don't want to know. But it's just so funny when I look back to like the management and business deals and shit that I would do at that time. And I would...
I give a lot more credit because I think the influencer space wasn't as developed. And I think that maybe shysty talent might have needed a shysty manager, you know, like, or probably not, but no one else wanted to manage me. So take what you can get. I will never forget when I released my perfume.
I released my perfume and I'd been so excited to make a perfume for so long. And I finally, like my manager found what I was told to be the most prestigious perfume company. And we curate my scent forever. And I, you know, I say that I want a bottle. I say I want it to be a skull. This was like really my emo phase. You were really in your emo phase. I was really in my emo phase. And I am told that this is just like,
Everything is curated to me. You know what I mean? Like we made you this bottle. We made you the scent. We made you this, this, this, and this. And my manager's just going so hard on me for the launch and like get it done. That was like one of our biggest fights looking back. It was kind of on MTV. I released the perfume and I'm fighting so hard for my life saying like this, you know, like we curated this. Come to find out the bottle was just like on Alibaba. Oh.
you got an alibaba bottle i don't know if it was literally alibaba but like oh no it was cute like well here's my question is how many different ways can you make a school like a school only looks one certain way i guess that's really true i just like i look back at so many things in my career like that even like tana con just everything it's like where was seth
Like Seth would just never. Yeah, he would not have allowed that. You know who that would never happen to? Addison Rae. Like that's, I get just so jealous of these like TikTok stars that like, you know what I mean? Just fall into this immediately have this like, like perfect trajectory. I don't know, but I think that makes it gives you spunk like trials, trial and error. I never had a perfume. That's good. I think. No, I would have slayed an Alibaba bottle just to have a perfume. B.O. by Brooke.
I don't know why that's the first thing that came to mind. Aw, man. Ariana Grande's perfume smells so good. I love it. It actually puts me to sleep. I wear it all the time. Ariana Grande is apparently living with Ethan Slater. That old white, it's like a ball, like a spiky ball. Is that the one? You know what I'm talking about? It's a cloud. You know what to me is still, to this day, the best celebrity perfume of all time? Answer wisely. Britney Spears' Fantasy.
Well, is it fantasy? Is that the one in the ball with the rhinestone on it? And like pink, blue, and purple. They made the best perfume ever. It's so good. Celebrity perfumes just used to be so cunt. Like Paris Hilton had like 40. Dude. And imagine Paris Hilton like saw my bottle and she was like, oh.
she was mentoring me heavy at that time like imagine her seeing my Alibaba ass bottle and having to back that well good news is Paris Hilton has never been on Alibaba absolutely ever at all Ariana Grande and Dalton are officially divorced as of today are they yeah so Dalton call me honestly wow that
That was good. He's so hot. He's so hot. And so quiet and like successful. A singing in this. 100% probably has a boat. Travis Kelsey, Alex Earl, Braxton or Travis Kelsey, Taylor Swift, Braxton Berrios, Alex Earl. Yeah. So is a football player the ways it might be? See, that's a perfect example. I'm starting to get into sports. I should do.
What'd you do? There was a bug, sorry. Did you blow it into my mouth? No, no, it's over there. Okay.
If I were feeling a little sporty, I could just dabble in like a sports guy. I completely, completely understand. I've been watching the show Ballers. I'm so obsessed with football and football agency culture right now. Unfortunately, like when people people always ask us, like we always joke and we say like men hate our podcast. Men would hate our podcast. We always say that to guys and guys will be like, why? Why? And this is like a perfect example of why. Because like I genuinely am sitting here like Taylor Swift put Travis Kelsey on the map.
Well, listen. Like, she didn't not put him on the map. I think... Like, I didn't know who Braxton Berrios was or that he played for the Dolphins until Alex Earl dated him. Like, these girls are my favorite. I mean, these guys are wildly successful. Obviously, Travis Kelsey is, like, one of the biggest... What is he, a wide receiver? Sure. He is really incredible, but I'm loving...
Loving watching all of this. It just makes them more like... It makes the guys more likable for the girlies, I think. To me, this is just like everything because Taylor Swift is literally America's princess and what's more American than football? Yeah, it makes so much sense to me. And he's the only super, super sexy... He's 6'5". Such a family man. Him and his brother are so funny. His brother's hot too. He's married with kids. I think it's everything. But what I will say about you and I is that I don't know if we could really...
like explore that very easily because the scheduling like you almost like i guess taylor's like it's pretty busy yeah she's pretty busy yeah um like not like not that we're busy but like an nfl schedule is crazy i i just would love it it's like go on the road i'll do my thing cheat on me that's how they cheat though they all cheat except for travis kelsey is it bad though if you go into a relationship which means like they might cheat on me but other than that this is gonna be so fun
I mean, I guess if like that's your vibe, but that's not my vibe. Like it's not my vibe for when I want to get married. Like I want to marry a non-cheater, but like I'm just saying. But I don't know. Travis Kelsey's brother, for example, Jason, he is like the dad, like the dad, the husband. So like I do have faith that like there can be like faith
I have this problem in my life where every single time I've ever been about to date an athlete, no pun intended, I fumbled the fuck out of it and like end up with someone else like so awful. Like I almost dated this football player like during COVID. And then I just was like such a fucking stupid, crazy cunt. I've just never like I've never really been around a lot of athletes like for me to end up with one. I feel like I just had like this the cheating stereotype. I really can't get past.
Do you want to know how I want to tell you this story of how I started almost dating this football player? Absolutely. I was in Vegas. I think I still I might have still had Raya. No, I don't know. I don't remember what team he played for at the time, but we started talking and he knew some friends of mine and he was in Vegas at the time and he was throwing this house party and he was like, we were talking, we were flirting, we were planning dates. He was like, come, come to my house party, whatever. Right. And it was like a pool party daytime. So I come in like a bikini, some shorts, no jorts.
I get there and I'm just vibing with everyone, whatever. And they're all sitting, all the football players are like sitting around a table and they're playing spades, the card game. And that's one thing I love about my Vegas background is when I want to go full pick me, I can like so impress guys like that and like sit down and play and like whoop their ass. So I sit down and I start playing spades and yeah,
The guy that I am like, I hadn't really talked to him. Like I come in and we like say, hey, and he's like, hey, he's like, you know, we flirt a little. He's like, you look good, whatever. And I sit down and I'm sitting there and I'm playing spades with like all of these football players. And the guy I'm like talking to comes up behind me and unties my bikini top. That's assault.
I would beat his ass. That's crazy. So I like grab it and then this other football player is like, like stands up and is like, bro, what the fuck? Like why would you do that? And like comes over and like helps me like retie it and stuff and whatever. And then I immediately just switched from him to his friend. Obviously. He was so sweet and like just like
You know what I mean? Like really had my back and it was like awesome. And then we started talking and we started dating. So I like... I love that. If you're going to assault me in front of all your friends, I'm going to date your friend instead for sure. Maybe we should. Like it's football season right now. So maybe we... Yeah. And then he started playing for the Raiders, which was like in Vegas, which is so slave for me. Hometown vibes. Call him. He actually was... He called me like a night ago, two nights. We're still really good friends. But I was kind of crazy to him and I don't know if he...
See, here's another issue I have, though. I don't know if I want you to end up with a football player. He's so hot. CTE is real. CTE is so, so, so, so real. I have a thing like I don't think I'm going to ever let my kids play football. Like I think baseball, soccer, whatever. I don't really want baseball because like baseball bores me like soccer, basketball. My kids not playing basketball. Who am I kidding? I'm five three. Yeah.
No football. I look at things like CT as like, okay, yes, that's awful and horrible. But what is a life lived if you're not living it, doing what you love?
Okay, but how do you know you love it if you never let my kid play? He's never going to know he loves it. I guess that's true, but then that's just also kind of sad. I want to let my kids do what they want to do. Yeah, until your kid can't fucking identify you in a lineup. What if you found out right now that you could get CTE from doing this and touring for the rest of your life? Well, that sucks because I'm already doing it. My kid's not already playing football. My kid's not even born yet. It's true. It's true.
I don't know. I have a feeling I'm going to be a pretty protective mother. Like I see those videos of like kids flipping on trampolines and stuff on TikTok. And I'm like, I would never let my kid go outside. I'm so the opposite. You think so? I just had this conversation with Mr. Boatman the other day. We were talking about like what kind of parents we're going to be. Not like together, but he was saying he's like, you got to just let kids like fucking fall. And that's how I feel. And it is true. Like I was raised like that and I never like really got seriously hurt or in trouble or anything. But I don't know.
I get it. You're very like protective. Like I could see you like. I am. And I don't know where I got it. My grandma was like that for sure. I'm protective, but I think like some of the best lessons in life are learned by doing and trying and like failing and shit. Yeah. My mom was like that though. Like when I was still with my mom, like she was just like, they're going to figure it out somehow. My mom, like if I didn't want to eat something, she'd be like, okay, well she's not going to starve herself. So she'll eat it eventually. Yeah. That's how my parents were in a lot of ways. I agree. Not a lot of love, but.
Do you know that today, A, I found out that my birth mother is still alive. It's so funny because I like sincerely like. You're horrible. Well, it's true. Like I don't talk to them and I don't know. And like I don't know where they are, what they're doing. And they're super old. So I'm not healthy like at all in every way. So it's kind of like, you know, like I always just like wonder like there's just going to be a day where they're like dead. And I'm like, oh, and that sounds awful. I don't mean literally, oh, like someone died. But like.
I don't know them. But I found out that her Instagram bio is proud mother of Tana Mongeau. Oh, that's... I don't know. I'm like not familiar enough. Like, I think that's sweet, but like... You have such a problem. It's... I mean, I guess... I know. I'm way too forgiving, but you have to understand that that's like something wrong in my head. Like, I have something seriously wrong. No. I mean, it's just...
That is really like, you can't say that if you like, aren't mothering me. You know what I mean? And like, we don't, you know what I mean? And like, how proud were you when you were like suing me? How proud were you when you were horrible to me? Like, that's just like, Debbie could say proud mother to Tana Mongeau. Like, you know, it's just like, like that's, yeah. Like it's, you know, like fun works. She got a new job. She got a new job. Yeah. And she works with like a canceled super fan. Yeah.
Does she? So I told her we would send a video. Wait, that's actually really cute. My mom FaceTimed me, but she really wants to see you. So we're going to have to send her a video. Wait, that's so funny. That's actually really cute. I'm proud of Fawn. I know. See, and I like, I really do commend the fact, I think that your and your mother's relationship never went too far maybe for you to like...
No. Cause mine, mine was like never targeted at me at all. Like everything like horrible, like that happened to me or whatever was like, just really bad things that were happening to her. Yeah. Yeah.
like and that makes so much sense like addictions the disease like that's it was just like horrible for her yeah and like i really commend like where your guys's relationship has gone and i obviously like for a long time i really wish i could have like done that with my family but i mean never say never like you never know like i don't want it i know but there could come a day where they like really realize like what like their fault and like
I guess. You feel really bad. But I mean like I just don't think that would ever happen. I know. They're not those kind of people. You know what I mean? And I think that that really is like you hit the nail on the head there. I think that's like everything was like at me. Like you know what I mean? Like targeted at me. Like they were really horrible to me and it was just like I just realized like you literally don't love me. You don't care about me. Like you know what I mean? Yeah. And it's like some people just honest to God like
And my mom says it too. Like some people are just not good parents. Yeah. They could, you could be a good person and not a good parent. You can also be a good parent and not a good person. Yeah.
But some people are just not supposed to be parents and should be parents and should figure that out before they are parents. I think that my parents taught me a lot about that. Like I remember being like 10 and being like, these people shouldn't have literally me. But with horror, like if you have bad parents, you will be a good parent by default. I think so. And I'm excited for that journey for sure. But yeah, proud mother to 10. We should start any day now with our NFL husband's.
I'm not kidding. That could be such a slay. But right now I do like new boy. I wonder if Alex Earl's boyfriend has any friends. Oh, that could be fun.
I love her. I just love like have you been watching her podcast success? Yeah I've been watching a lot of the clips. Good for her. Slay Alex. She is amazing. Everything under Unwell is doing so good. Lila had a meeting with Unwell and I hope they take it. I really hope they pick her up. I'm like pick me up seriously. Honestly. You never know where the future of Cancelled will go. But I just think it's
It's like her whole concept of like, because he's like a very successful, like huge NFL player. And she's like NFL man. Yeah, I love it. She's just calling him NFL man. Like that's like, imagine if I was dating like Justin Bieber and I was like,
singer like singer dude it is it is like so so it's so kind and it's so great and they are really cute that photo she posted with him was really cute uh and her little tiktok show like nfl man got me and all my friends this like you could i love a guy who like wants their girl to be so happy that he does stuff for her and i know i've never had a relationship where like my well i really haven't had very many relationships but like my guys always like don't want to be around my friends or hate my friends which is like a big huge red flag yeah like they want to isolate you which is crazy yeah
And I want like someone to want to do like fun things like bring me and my friends on their fun boat or like bring me and my friends to their fun game. Well, that's that is definitely the fucking goal. I think we should. I'm going to I'm actually going to make it a point. I'm putting it out on the podcast right now. If if my new relationship doesn't work out, but I hope it does. I'm going to try to go for an NFL man and podcast about it. And it feels the safest sport as far as infidelity. I think I think basketball is like a deal breaker.
I guess that's true. Baseball is probably the best, like most loyal. Baseball is the most money. That's crazy. I just found that out recently. And golf.
golf so boring though i know but golf is like so kind like such a rich person like golf is so kind like we'd be so cute being there but i would hate to be with someone watching them play my kidding tiger woods i don't want that i just but also like imagine watching someone play a sport that like is that boring yeah like i want to i want to be like into it that's why i wish it was basketball because i'm obsessed i know same i was always like
My high school one state all four years I was there and then I went to a super basketball school or dating like a fighter. Dating a fighter would be such a slug. Absolutely not to dating a fighter. Although I did slip up and slip up as crazy. But I did send Dylan Dennis a text today asking if he could buy or give me a ticket to the fight. We're really I know he's going to tweet it and pretend I'm in love with him or something. Just know that I want to go to the fight. I know we really were trying to go to London this weekend for the fight, but it's never going to fucking happen. We have shows all week.
We do. We have five more shows and then our tour is over and we will have successfully finished our entire little 2023. I wouldn't even say little because it is going to be a completely sold out tour, which dude, congrats to us. That is like, I remember when you put these tickets on sale. Yeah, baby. Wow. Let's go. Yeah.
I just think that's so fucking crazy. I just remember putting these tickets on sale really scared that no one would buy a single one. I just remember at the top of the year not even ever conceptualizing like that that could be a thing that we could do. I know both. Both. Literally both things are like actually mind blowing and
Even Jortsgate included, this tour has been incredible. Like, I wouldn't change anything for the world. It's been so fun. And these next shows are in San Diego, so a lot of our friends are going to, and special guests are going to get to come because it's close. They're in San Diego and Brea, California. I'm so excited. And then we wrap on this tour, and the goal next year is a world tour, which... And we want...
Big show. It's a world tour and it's your girls' tour. And we're so excited for that. And we're going to be on a bus and documenting all of it. I really want to try to find a way to podcast from the bus.
like every episode you could we definitely yeah we would just i mean like think about like brie brie's like podcasting in the car in oklahoma yeah we could really we're gonna make it work i think and that's gonna be super fun yeah hey i'm excited i'm really excited for this these last shows yesterday i went to a wedding
Oh my gosh. My dear friend Miranda's wedding. And it might have been one of my favorite weddings I've ever been to. Like it was just so different from any wedding I've ever been to. It was at the Madonna Inn. Yeah, that's so her though. It's like I love that. She's so like she's just a cool ass bitch. She's really so cool. Like her entire aesthetic and her vibe like
radiates off of her at all times everything she does is so her and the Madonna Inn is like floral vintage hot pink world famous for like the way it looks like nowhere in the world looks like that in this and it she was marrying David her man and they're like
so in love it's crazy they've been together for 10 years for 10 fucking years I don't have anything that I've like committed to for 10 years and it's watching this man to this like man man like have this hot pink wedding for her like was just like so fucking cute and sweet and cool Trisha Paytas coded and um
I just you were just telling me about their baby photo thing. Yeah, she posted. I'm going to make her send it to us. But she had posted something like a few years back where she talked about how she'd been with her now husband for like years already. OK. And one night they were just going through old photos like baby photos of themselves and they found a baby photo together.
Which is crazy. And I'm like, God, I wish I really had the exact details of the story, but it was something where someone was babysitting someone's cousin or something, and they just happened to be photographed together as babies. Which is...
That would make me feel like that person is my soulmate. So I love that. Like how cool. And it was just like, it was such an intimate wedding, which I don't, I haven't been to very many. Most weddings. I feel like I would love to have like a really small wedding. Yeah. It was like under 200 people. I feel like, and it's like such an honor to go to a wedding like that. Like you care about. Yeah. I had, I went to the wedding I was telling you about earlier today. The, um, Elwood guy. Um,
Their wedding was, like, literally 20 of us. Really? Like, it was... The ceremony was, like, literally, like, 20 people. They bought out, like, Nobu. Yeah. And Malibu. And they, like, literally just got married. Like, right on the beach there. And then this, like... We went back to the house and, like, friends and, like, stuff came to the house. But... Like, that's so cute. It was just so easy and simple and, like... It got me thinking, like...
What's your dream wedding? I don't have one. I feel like it would depend on who I was with. That's what I said. Because you know what I mean? Like, am I with an NFL man? Are you with an astronaut? That's a different wedding than, like, a guy with a random boat. Yeah, I think it, like, varies per person, but I...
I always have wanted like a giant fucking wedding. Really? Not me. Yeah. But then there's like a part of me that seeing the intimate vibe was really cute. I just can't like, this sounds so bad, but I can't imagine something that would embarrass me more than a wedding.
isabella was saying this to me last night like she was saying the idea of reading her vows to everyone would be like not even well that you don't really have to do that but just the idea of like all the attention being like all about you for the whole day and like that's all it is and like having to talk to everybody how socially like demanding it is you literally have to greet everybody thank everybody like that's what's great you spend all this money like like fucking tens of thousands of dollars for a day that like you just spent basically like going up and hugging people
Like putting on a show Essentially I think that's why I really love how Travis and Kourtney Have like multiple weddings Like you have an intimate one You have like a non-intimate one Yeah well That's what happens When you have hundreds Of millions of dollars That's true But no but even like A Vegas wedding Just you two like Fun Drunk shotgun wedding I like the idea of like Just like fucking Dropping a ceremony All together And just having like A fucking crazy reception Yeah
like do it you get married at the courthouse and then just have like a sick party yeah it's true but I want to wear like a cute dress yeah her dress was so kind like vintage I bet and she's so perfect she is like well I'll put in like a photo I'll send it a photo I'm like we'll insert their wedding photos like literally she is um
Like the definition of, I feel like if you Googled like beautiful, like woman, like beautiful woman, like it would be her. She's like America. She's like the definition of like a beautiful American beauty. Like a classic beauty. Yeah. Yeah. Like, and it was just like, I was gagged. She looked like ethereal. And I just like, I'm obsessed with her. What kind of wedding dress do you want? Something timeless because...
My fake wedding actually did teach me. Oh my God, you got married. Like it taught me a lot about what I would really want. You had like a princess gown, didn't you? I had two wedding dresses. One was huge, huge. Like think princess on a cake, like big dress.
and it was white and it cascaded into like light pink and it was so fugly. Yeah, I'm glad we graduated from that. It was so fugly and then I had another one that I love. Like I still like whenever I see photos which is every day because people will never shut the fuck up about it. I like the photos. I want to get like I feel like I would want like a like silky just like classic is what I would want. Me too. I want like a really like
old, like olden days type. Like vintage-y, like just timeless. Timeless to me. But then it's like, who knows? What if I'm marrying like a rocker and I have to like rock out like Kourtney Kardashian? Yeah, didn't she have like a short wedding dress? Never that. It wasn't one of them short. It's never that. Like it was, but like it should never be that. I guess do whatever makes you happy, but that would never make me happy. What do you think about her and Kim's fight? I have a hard time with it because...
I like I'm on I'm definitely team Kim kind of but I also think that if it were me like I would be Courtney you'd be over it over the show the way that like I feel and like the way I react to certain situations like I feel like I would have I understand where Courtney was coming from like just the concept like you don't have sisters so it's hard like but when you have sisters like it's the most frustrating fucking thing in the world when you can't just have like your one thing
Really? Like, having a wedding and, like, that being your thing. And, like, Dolce & Gabbana did her whole wedding. And, like, she felt like that was her thing that was separate from everybody else. And just for it to be immediately, like... But it still was so, like, about her. Like, everyone was talking about her. I know. But, like, it would just be, like, just annoying. Just be like, God, you had to do that? Like, seriously? It has to be the only child in the movie. Because, like, I love that. Like, I love when, like...
Like if I had a wedding and then you were like, they already have like kind of an unspoken competition that goes on between them. Like I think like what she was saying, like Kylie did the same thing and like it didn't matter. But it was because she kind of has always felt like Kim had it out for her in that way. Yeah. And it is like she's the older sister. So it's like annoying. Like your little sister like wants to do everything you do. Yeah. But like, I don't know, maybe like I probably wouldn't have. I'm still team Kim.
I just... Am I? I don't know. I don't know. I just love Kim. Me too. That's the thing I do. I just love Kim. So it's hard. Like Kim is like my favorite Kardashian, I think. And Kim's just like... The thing is she's in her bag. Like you can't get mad at somebody for like wanting to make money. And like kill it and be successful. Yeah, I agree with that. I don't... I just... The only way I know how to think about it is like if I had a Dolce and Gabbana wedding, like...
And you did a Dolce and Gabbana something. I would be like, that's so slay that we're both like, I don't know. Yeah, I agree. I think, I think it's so much, it's not, it was never about the George. You know what I mean? Like it, yeah, it was never about Dolce and Gabbana. It's like just the underlying principle and resentment that they like already have toward each other. I think. And the, like the, like you stole my wedding country. I got married in Italy. Like Kim did kind of do a lot of those things. So like, I don't know, but that's just my, I also love Courtney, by the way. I don't want to like, like slander Courtney. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think we're... Yeah, we're not standing. I mean, we tried to podcast this whole time about... The whole time. I'm glitchy. I got neck Botox. You got neck Botox? Yeah, I got neck Botox because... Let me know. Comment down below if you guys have noticed a difference.
I like usually when I talk and like laugh and stuff, my like my neck like veins. I've been wanting to. There's multiple benefits of neck Botox. So I got it. But like if you see it, like sometimes I'll have like this like string. It's called a platysmal band. And I would have it like pop out like like when I was talking and I looked like a crazy woman. So I got neck Botox. You honest to God, I want to try it. So I'm getting picking through you. I'm going to see if you like it. I don't think you have them though.
There's other benefits though. It like sucks in your like, there's like a bunch of reasons to get neck Botox.
Do you know I have to go? No, don't literally delete that. I have to go tomorrow and get all this Botox in all the muscles around my spine because my scoliosis is getting like so much worse. I used to do that. I used to get, I had Botox for migraines and they put it in the top of my head and all down my back. Really? Well, yeah, and I've been getting migraines. So I actually wonder if that's going to like help me out. I'm getting Botox all in my spine and I'm really scared. My scoliosis has been really bad. I had a consultation this week. I'm not going to say what for.
But for a major surgery. No, don't do any major surgery. Surgery is out. I don't think I'm going to do it after the consultation. Good. So I went to the IT doctor. Well, you want to know what I think? What? You haven't even said anything yet. What? I think that everybody goes to that IT doctor has to. No, he's the fixer. He's the fixer. He's not the fixer. He's the fixer. No, he's not. Trust me, I researched it as well.
He's the fixer. He's not the fixer. I have gotten so much tea. Who told you he was the fixer? Him? Well, I wouldn't be going insane. So, I mean, we don't even have to get into all of that. Like, if I did this surgery, it wouldn't be that noticeable. I think what I want, I could get away with not. I could get away with doing what all these bitches do and straight up lying about it. But the issue of why I can't do it is because, again, I went to this doctor who is known within Hollywood for doing...
Kardashians and doing the people, whatever. I went in for this surgery consultation thinking like I might do it. I essentially went into him and was like, I want to look like this, this and this. What do I need? You know what I mean? I had no idea that these surgeries, because it's just like, I know so many people with these surgeries. Like people get them like it's fucking Starbucks out here. I had no idea the like,
risk of death I had no idea most yeah I mean that's it's the most people die from that I had no idea the like peeing through a catheter for like a week I had no idea that like you you're gonna feel like you actually got hit by a bus like I had several people in there tell me like the pain of it was worse than a childbirth I like I
I just had no idea. And it's like fucked up. Like you can't like walk for like weeks and you can't like. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. And it's out. No one's looks good.
Okay obviously I went in for a BBL consult At this point you can't even like She went in for a consult for a BBL BBL is out But I don't want I don't want a BBL Like I essentially just want them Like because I get so many ass injections To like fill my hip dips And they work but they fade And I'm so sick of doing it And you can do that without doing a BBL
How? The same way I took lipo. So I got lipo on my arms. I've talked about it. Yeah. And it's literally laser light, but they melt the fat and suck it out of the tiniest little holes. You cannot see my scars anywhere, but my arms are half the size they were before. Yeah. When I do that, they literally told me they were like, do not waste this fat. Like you can put this fat other places. I DM the place that you did that for and they told me they don't do it.
So did they lie to me? Yes, they lied to you. You didn't DM the right place. Just did it. She didn't put it somewhere. Oh, well, they put it in. Yeah.
Oh wow. But that's what they do. So a lot of times they'll put it in your like boobs to just like add fat to your boobs or they'll put it in your butt. So that's the thing is now I think I'm going to go on consults around the world and see what everywhere offers. I don't think I'm going to end up doing it. I don't think you need that either. But like the point is like you don't have to go through this like extreme major thing. Like mine was so easy. I was in Hawaii for your birthday like a week later. I,
I guess that's true. I need to like weigh out all my options. I'm just so tired of getting these injections because it literally like I have videos of it. You've seen it. The needle is like this fucking big. They use a cannula needle. It's like so thick and they're just it's like a knife going in and out of your ass. I can't walk for a week. Come and go. You're not going to even want that in a year.
I've been getting these injections for like five years now and like yeah in five years was the the the shelf life of the fat ass that was how long but it's not to have a fat ass like I'm not I will never look like a BBL girl I don't want that journey for me that is so out it's more to just like fill hip dips and have like a slightly bigger butt like that'll never leave like just having a nice ass and hips like you know what I mean that'll like always be a thing
But yeah, essentially I just wanted to, I want to stop getting the damn injections so bad to the point that I would just like to like suck and pump one time and call it a day instead of like every six months having to go get, literally feel like I'm getting like scream five, the movie saw and then not walking for a week. Like I'd like to just do it once and for all, you know, but it's just so not worth the risk. It's not. Yeah. I just had no idea. It was like,
Yeah, it really is the most invasive thing, like, ever. You have usually, like, for the first couple weeks, you're still leaking. Like, even, I mean, with my arms, I was leaking for, like, a while. Yeah, there's, like, so there's, like, fluids, obviously, that come out and, like,
They have to go somewhere so the holes stay open. Like, the holes that they go through stay open. And with a BBL, you, like, literally have a pump and it's, like, separate from your body and the fluids leak into it and you have to drain it. This doctor was telling me that he closes them but then you have to keep coming in and they open it and then they drain it out and it hurts so bad. It's the most... My roommate got one when I lived with her, like, just last year. And she...
It was said it was the most painful thing ever. Like, like you literally watch it. That's what every single person that has gotten one has told me is it was the most painful thing they've ever done in their entire life. They felt like they got hit by a literal bus and you can't sit. You can't sit for two months. You can't sit on your ass. If you're not adding to your butt, you can say if you're just adding in your hip dips, he still said that I like couldn't because like they still look like shit.
I don't I mean I'm gonna go to a bunch of doctors I don't think I'm gonna do it I know the best doctor in the world for it who is that the person who did
Oh, the Miami one? That's the only BBL in the world that looks good. Hers does look so fucking good. It looks so good. Yeah, I would never BBL girl it up. It would literally just be like a slight little like boop boop like suck in place so that I just didn't have to get injections. But it's not boop boop. It's crazy. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And it's not worth it. I would want a moderate moment, but...
Essentially I realized I might just be getting these injections like forever. No, because in a couple years you're going to have a coming of age moment where you realize that you're built just perfect the way you are. I don't know if I like you are. I'm just so much happier when I get the injections and then I notice them gone. Like when I have no hip dip versus when I have a hip dip. I'm just so much happier.
I have hip dips. I don't know what those were. You're a guy. Is that normal? Yeah. I don't, if you didn't have hip dips as a man, I'd be so concerned. Yeah. Imagine Aaron with like a BBL body. Yeah. Just like, boo. I don't know. Yeah. I've never liked them. It was like one of the first things I ever did was get sculpture in them. And then I never looked back. It's so easy and fun, but it hurts. So I'm trying to have a once and for all moment.
But I don't know. I have no ass. But I just didn't know these bitches really went through all that. Like, it's crazy. Oh, absolutely. And do you know how much it costs? $25,000. Yes. Do you know how much it costs from this doctor?
$25,000. $50,000. That's so fucking stupid. And then the recovery hotel, which most like, if people have it like that to buy the surgery, they usually stay in the hotel because it's like. It's like full-time nurse that like takes care of you. Well, and just to monitor you and actually make sure you're good. Like because of how major the surgery is, it's like four grand a night. So then like five nights there is another 20 grand.
seventy thousand dollars for a celebrity bbl that's how much it costs and i know bitches who've gone to him and gotten four yeah because they have to keep going back because it wasn't done right the first time yeah i'm not i'm not doing that trust me i like i left the consultation i was like i'm i would never i and i just physically don't have the time it blows my mind that because it makes sense all these girls with bbl bodies it's kind of
they utilize them like they just take their instagram photos and then they're on they're finessing men they're that's all they do they don't usually have jobs and it makes sense why because it's like i would actually have to take two months off i couldn't do anything yeah and like kind of what you were saying with like the maintenance thing too like the best bbls like the bbls that do look good like the kylie jenner bbl she is like she has the money to maintain it and make everything make sure it's all
all perfect all the time it's like it's forever maintenance it's going to be just as inconvenient as having to get sculpture in your house i know that's not a one and done it's not over you that's exactly what i realized that's what i realized when i was there i was like i would want to do this to stop maintaining my sculpture but the maintenance of this is almost worse than the sculpture like i can just go in i get juiced up i can't walk for a day i have bruises for a fucking two weeks and like i call it a day you know absolutely
And like you have to go in and get all these lasers because your skin cells die and bruise and your skin turns black like crazy.
If you don't get them. Like that's crazy to me. And you get like where it like hardens. It's like you just don't want it. You don't want it. I don't. I don't want it but I had to know that for myself. But I wanted it and I put a fucking down payment on it. Like that's why I know because I researched it so much and having not done it is like I can't imagine if I had done that. Yeah. I agree. Like I think about it now and I'm like oh my God I would die if I had. I think I just finally had to go in and like know for myself if I
I wanted to do it or if I could do it or whatever. And I left there and I was like, what the fuck?
Some people are so happy with it. This is not to say every BBL. There are a lot of girls with BBLs that look great. Yeah. It's not worth the risk, though, of coming out botched and then having to do it again as well. That's nuts to me. I can't believe the price as well. I would rather spend $70,000 on so many things. And it is crazy as well because the doctor to me was talking about it like it was getting a Frappuccino. And then it was everyone else that like...
is telling you like it no it's the hardest thing i've ever gone through like and that's kind of a crazy feeling to me too that doctor's like yeah just lay down do it well of course he is he's not going to tell you like this is going to be the worst experience of your entire life but like after finding out the pain and like the suffering and like the risk like doctors should be telling you that like that's kind of crazy it's like false um how are they gonna make 50 g's what'd you say how are they gonna make 50 g's that's true yeah that is true
I don't know. I won't be getting one and I will continue to be getting my ass. Thank God. And this is no shade. If you have a BBL and it looks good. Slay. I love. I wanted one so bad. Yeah. But it is not to me worth like almost dying at all. At all. Like that's that's just so crazy. And imagine like Tana Mongeau dies at 25 by BBL. Kind of iconic. Kind of iconic. Not iconic at all. I was just talking about this with my one of my little boyfriends and
I'm saying like could you imagine because I've been lime scootering a lot I know I can't I can't stop bringing it back to me lime skittering but I was like like it's actually really dangerous to lime scooter like no helmets you go really fast like you get hit by a car and could you imagine how humiliating it would be if I got hit by a car and that was how I died that was the headlines like influencer Brooke Schofield dies at 26 via lime scooter the owner of Segway died on a Segway I know like
But like how embarrassing just so you know know this right now if something like that were to happen to me I would hope that all of my friends and family and loved ones would know to lie on my behalf I hope you know that I would honor you and it would be my pleasure to do that and I would have done it without you even saying anything I would say that you were you were fighting a literal bear. Will you come on me with my date like this? I didn't like your wording. Oh, will you come on me? Will you come with me on your date now? I'm busy. I have to go boating.
I'm just kidding. Wait, funny story. So yesterday I was at, honestly, it doesn't matter where I was, but I'm playing a game of pool. Okay. He's a billionaire.
I have fun with that. And I wish I could tell the people how he's a billionaire because it is the funniest thing. Whatever. He's a billionaire. He's a loser. But, but I love him. He's like my friend. Yeah. But he wants you bad. But like in like a, like a funny way, like not funny. It's not funny, but it's like, it's like, like, no. Okay. You know what I mean?
but yesterday we're all it was like a ton of us at this house and we were all like fucking around playing pool and stuff and i'm playing pool and i'm playing against um this man steve okay come to find out steve is like a world-renowned pool player and steve was blowing it he like literally sucked so it was like i think he was hustling me it's the thing so he wasn't playing well at all so then
The guy who is obsessed with me was like, here, I'm going to play you. Steve will be my partner. I'm going to play against you. And my partner was killing it. So he's like, I'll play against you and we'll have high stakes. He said, if you win, I'll pay you $10,000, which I know he can... He'll do it. But if I win...
You have to do anal with me for eight months. Eight months is so specific as well. And like, I've never even done anal. That's not like something I dabble in, but I think you're going to do it soon. You've been talking to me. Like, I think you're going to do it soon. No, but well, so in my head, I'm like, okay, well, first of all, I've been playing against Steve this whole time and he sucks. He hasn't made one single ball. And then he goes, the, the other guy, which I could give him like a name, but he goes, I'm like,
I'll play left-handed. He goes here, like to make it easier. I'll play left-handed. They smoke me. Okay. I lose.
Come to find out, he is left-handed. Genius tactic. Like, what a fucking horrible thing. Like, I didn't even think to ask, like, is that your non-dominant hand? Like, why would I ask that? Because it's like if someone's saying, I'll play left-handed, makes you assume that they're not. Yeah, him saying, like, making such a thing of like, oh, I'll play left-handed. Which is genius. I'm going to start doing that for everything because I'm literally left-handed. Anyway, I'm not doing anal with him for eight months, but... Maybe you could try it with him. No. Okay.
I'll try it, but not with him. I would never touch him. But anal is definitely in the works. I'm giving it. I knew it. I knew it. You are going to do anal. Yeah, with someone for sure. I think I have to try it soon. I've had this topic or talk before on the cancel podcast. Like, I feel like I really it is embarrassing that I'm 26 or something. I've never even tried it. But then I've held out like for this long. So it's like, should I save myself for marriage? It's kind of like saving yourself.
Someone else just told me that, but it's like saving, like, so they have something. I have nothing. Like your husband has something that, like, no one else has ever done. What do I, what can I have? Um, maybe bukkake? Whoa, true. True. Saving bukkake for marriage.
I think that tequila makes anal really easy. Specifically for me. Not vodka. Not rum. Not gin. Not whiskey. Tequila makes anal easy. Well, one of my boyfriends has been like hinting at it. So I'm like. The first time I ever drank a tequila sunrise, like ever tried it, was also coincidentally the first time I ever did anal. That's a beautiful story. Thank you.
I'll keep you guys posted. You guys are going to be the first to know. And it's just so much easier when people make it out to be. That's not true. Everybody I know has shit themselves doing anal. Not me. Not me. I don't believe you. I don't believe that you... This is what I confidently believe. I'll save that for marriage. Shitting on a dick. I confidently believe that you have been too fucked up to notice. I promise you I haven't because I'll suck it. No.
shit's clean you heard that right i heard it aaron that is we that's bad advice and that we're gonna get canceled for that no i won't always suck it i'm just saying but i'll like touch it after like look at it god oh my god okay i did it yeah anyway i'm saving anal for marriage who wants to marry me i'm gonna do it tonight
I'm going to do anal on my wedding night. It's going to be like, you know how people save themselves in marriage? I'm going to do anal on my wedding night. I do bukkake on mine. And it's literally going to be like that scene from Twilight. Did they do anal in Twilight? No, when they break the whole room because he's too powerful. Thank you so much for tuning in to this week's episode of...
of the anal podcast, of the anal BBL cast. We love you guys so much. My neck Botox is totally working me. We love you. Jesus loves you. You will see. Bye guys.